9.03 Jazztastic!, July 14, 2005, Volume 9, Issue 3, MauiTime

HOME OF HOLOHOLO GIRL, COCONUT WIRELESS, EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK, CUNNING LINGLE, EH BRAH!, LC WATCH AND DOMESTICATED COUGARS

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Jazztastic!

Maui’s paradoxical jazz scene –By Samantha Campos–

5 WAILUKU’S HOSTESS BARS What it’s like to work there

7 SHERRI REEVE

Serendipity in the making

25 A NIGHT AT THE THEATER Watching Pump Boys and Dinettes

*$2100.00 down and $179.92 a month for 84 months on approved credit, plus tax, lic, and Valley Isle Doc fee of $195.00 all rebates to dealer. Truck may not be exactly like shown offer ends July 31, 2005.

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JULY 14, 2005

CONTENTS

www.mauitime.com

COVER STORY

SMOOTHIES - PG. 14

•Jazztastic!

Position (& favorite chocolate manifestation) Editor: Anthony Pignataro anthony@mauitime.com (Malt)

NEWS 5

Associate Editor: Samantha Campos sam@mauitime.com (Martini)

•Letters to the Editor •Eh Brah!

Calendar Goddess: Kimberly L. Welch kim@mauitime.com (me!)

•Cunning Lingle •What it’s like to work in Wailuku’s hostess bars

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•Coconut WIreless •Overheard

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•Sherri Reeve

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PHOTO: JESSICA PEARL

– by Barukh Shalev

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Serendipity in the making – by Courtney Mather

•News of the Weird •Ted Rall Cartoon

Contributing Writers: Caeriel Crestin, Courtney Mather, Gabrielle Poccia, Ted Rall, Barukh Shalev, Chuck Shepherd, Cole Smithey Illustration: Guy Junker, Alex Eben Meyer, Glenn Watson

•Op Ed: Karl Rove

Interns: Shannon Ellison, Ashley Fitch, Linda Gampert, Kellie Holliday, Robin Horca, Joshua Keahi-Masuda, Heidi King, Molly Rettig

Production Assistants: David Enzo, Wendy Higa

Worse than Osama bin Laden – by Ted Rall

Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers brad@mauitime.com (Pudding) General Manager: Jennifer Russo jen@mauitime.com (Ex Lax)

•Five Smoothies in Five Days – by Molly Rettig

•Employee of the Week •Dining Listings

14 Sun R 5:58A Thur Sun S 7:17P

L 3:42A +0.1 L 5:04P +0.9 H 11:11A +1.5 H 9:09P +1.1

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Sun R 5:58A Fri Sun S 7:16P

L 4:17A +0.0 L 7.04P +0.8 H 12:04P +1.7 H 10:11P +0.9

16 Sun R 5:59A Sat Sun S 7:16P

L 4:57A -0.1 L 8:23P +0.6 H 12:52P +2.0 H 11:30P +0.7

17 Sun R 5:59A Sun Sun S 7:16P

L 5:43A -0.2

H 1:39P +2.3 L 9:15P +0.4

18 Sun R 6:00A Mon Sun S 7:16P

H 12:46A +0.6 H 2:25P +2.5 L 6:33A -0.2 L 9:58P +0.2

19 Sun R 6:00A Tue Sun S 7:15P

H 1:51A +0.6 L 7:24A -0.3

H 3:10P +2.6 L 10:38P +0.1

20 Sun R 6:00A Wed Sun S 7:15P

H 2:48A +0.6 L 8:16A -0.4

H 3:55P +2.7 L 11:17A +0.1

100 HANA HIGHWAY, PAIA

579-8030

Photography: Sean M. Hower, Jessica Pearl

Art Director: Rudi King rudi@mauitime.com (Hot)

DINING 14 15

Tides & times Tide-times set for Honolulu - subtract as follows: Kahului: 1hr 41min Hana: 1hr 23 min Makena: 0hr 32min Kihei/Ma`alaea: 0hr 22 min Lahaina: 0hr 40 min

Maui’s paradoxical jazz scene – by Samantha Campos

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PROFESSIONAL CLEANING SUPPLIES AVAILABLE TO THE PUBLIC do it yourself: •window cleaning kits •carpet cleaning •stone and tile care •odor & stain removal

Hours, locations and price ranges of Maui’s eateries Publisher: Tommy Russo tommy@mauitime.com (Magic Shell)

DA KINE CALENDAR 19 •This Week’s Picks 22 •Film Critique Wedding Crashers ( )

Cleaners Warehouse Maui Fire & Flood 400 Hana Hwy Suite B Kahului, hi 96732 808-873-8886

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23 •Movies & Times 25 •A&E: AWatching Night at the Theater Pump Boys and Dinettes – by Heidi King 26 •The Grid & Calendar Listings 29 •Take 5: Non-water Sports

MINIKISS - PG.19

CLASSIFIED 31 •Personals 32 •Classified Listings 33 •Sign Language 34 •HoloHolo Girl 35 •Mind, Body & Spirit

MauiTime Weekly is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2005 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited.

Maui Time Weekly may be distributed only by MauiTime Weekly’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime Weekly is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime Weekly, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime Weekly are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon

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COVER ILLUSTRATION: MIKE WEBER / artdispenser.com

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 14, 2005

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Two Years Is Too Long

June 26th marked the second anniversary of the Maui Bulletin workers vote to organize a union. The National Labor Relations Board in Honolulu certified the Hawaii Newspaper Guild as the union representative for Maui Bulletin Workers on July 7, 2003.

The workers - advertising salespeople, artists, production and clerical workers — decided to organize a union to fight low wages, substandard benefits, lack of job security and abusive management practices. They wanted a fair way to resolve grievances.

Two years later they are still waiting and fighting to get a fair contract. But instead of addressing the workers needs, Maui Bulletin managers, working under strict supervision by their corporate managers in West Virginia, keep trying to hijack the negotiations by insisting on providing unlimited rights for the company and few rights but lots of responsibility for the workers.

The company wants to have the right to:

NEWS

Well I’d only gotten to page 5 of this week’s Maui Time and I already had to respond.

First of all, thank you for your editorial about Public Television (“Kill Public Television!”

June 30, 2005). I agree there are—and were—some great shows on PBS. However, when I started getting emails from various progressive groups a few weeks ago about “saving Big Bird,” I just wanted to gag. As the mother of a 7 and 8 year old, I have watched a lot of PBS “educational” programming.

And while it is certainly better than everything else targeting children these days, I found it rather disgusting that liberal public interest groups were asking me to spend my limited free time to contact my congress people about saving Teletubbies, Clifford, Arthur and Sesame Street. (I have to say I’m particularly disgusted by Sesame Street. It’s changed a lot since I was a kid and become totally commercial—and is more about pushing media than education.)

And yes, you’re right—there’s all kinds of corporate, right wing programming on now as well. Anyway, considering issues such as the war in Iraq, Social Security, loss of civil rights, drilling in ANWR, etc.— the campaign to save public television was irritating at best. Here’s a radical idea. Just throw out your TV. That’s what we did.

-Shay Chan Hodges, via email

MUCH TOO KIND

· make everyone work up to ten hours in a day without overtime; · subcontract work to temporary employment agencies;

BUT WE LIKE TO BREAK NEWS!

· change work schedules without notice or overtime penalty;

· allow managers to work as salespersons, taking all of the plum accounts at the expense of union salespeople getting paid commission; · change working conditions and rules without notice or discussion.

Maui Bulletin workers want the company to bargain in good faith.

JULY 14, 2005

SHE KILLED ALL TELEVISION

Congratulations on the great article on GMO corn (“Corn Pone?” June 23, 2005).

This is such an important subject. I’m glad to see the island’s only newspaper with balls print such a timely article on this crucial topic. Keep up the good work. Your newspaper is great!

-Gary Wiseman, Haiku

Ogden Newspapers is headquartered in Wheeling, West Virginia.

The company purchased the Maui News from the Cameron family in early 2000 and the Maui Bulletin shortly thereafter.

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LETTERSTOTHEEDITOR Real” letter that was printed in the June 23, 2005 issue: please do a little homework before making comments that make you look like a “know it all” without a clue. The Maui News is a DAILY PAPER and part of that is to report breaking news.

HOWEVER, oh sweet innocent one who loves it all for real, realize that Maui Time Weekly—HELLO—is a weekly publication, and therefore does not specialize in breaking news, but whatever the paper wishes to report on that is of interest to the community. OH AND

BY THE WAY, Maui Time Weekly is not in direct competition with The Maui News. Each paper is marketed differently… Take this for what it is... a lesson in thinking things through before opening mouth and inserting foot.

Always a great lesson in life.

-Anonymous, via email The Editor responds: Actually, the June 23 letter writer was just being sarcastic, which both Maui Time and its parent corporation Maui Time Productions whole-heartedly supports. Also, even though we are a weekly and The Maui News is a daily, on occasion we still compete for stories and advertising dollars. But thanks for your interest! MTW

Maui Time welcomes letters commenting on our coverage, but only if they’re complimentary. If you still wish to complain about something, please have the decency to use plenty of bad punctuation and grammar—that makes it easier for us to make fun of you when we respond. Send your letters to the editor via e-mail (letters@mauitime.com), regular mail (Letters to the Editor, Maui Time Weekly, 658 Front Street, Ste. 126A-7278, Lahaina, HI 96761) or fax (808-661-0446). All correspondence must include your full name, hometown and phone number.

To the individual who wrote the “Love it for

EH BRAH! Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less, changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent to “Eh Brah!” c/o Maui Time Weekly, 658 Front Street, Ste. 126A–7278, Lahaina, HI 96761 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com To the sterling example of Maui’s finest: the hysteria in your voice as you screamed “PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON! ALL OF YOU DOWN THERE PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON!” to the 20 or 30 sunbathers at Little Beach the other day was a dead give-away that you have some real personal issues to deal with. Let me ask you that while you were carrying on your shrieking tirade, did you ever think that maybe others elsewhere on Maui were being attacked and mugged? Whose car was being stolen? Whose home was being burglarized? Man, there are crimes happening all over Maui! How about trying some crime fighting for a change? In many communities the world over, crime fighting is a major part of your job description. So go follow your cousins and nephews and start protecting law-abiding citizens, instead of annoying our European friends who are vacationing at the beach. Oh, by the way, do you think we left our clothes on after you took off? HA!

MAUICOUNTY

BY BARUKH SHALEV

What it’s like to work in Wailuku’s hostess bars whispered something incomprehensible in my ear. I said nothing, then she grabbed my notepad and marched over to her colleagues at the next table.

They talked quickly as they looked over my scrawl. Finally my spurned “date” made her way back to my barstool, twirling and bellowing.

“I am mer-maid!,” she said. “I have-ah no lek!”

As she handed my notebook back she took out a pen and wrote on one of the pages, in Korean, “Goodbye and goodbye.”

At first glace, Lower Main in Wailuku is indistinguishable from any other gentrified industrial neighborhood.

Indistinguishable, until you notice the vast proliferation of “Korean Bars” canvasing the neighborhood. Named 7 Pools, Club Starlite, Club Ocean, Club Osaka, these establishments are conspicuously anonymous. The only clue to the nature of these establishments are vague signs advertising “beautiful hostesses” or “Korean dancing.”

One night I walked into a place called Hot and Rich. It was completely empty save for three women who gossiped excitedly in tepid Korean. There were glimmering neon lights, pink walls and blaring Korean techno music. It was a tiny, almost cozy place. I was the only customer.

“I wanted to name it Paprika, but no Ameri-can can understand paprika,” the owner told me, hanging on my arm.

“Then, ah, one day, I am with my bay-bee and we are watching-ah Brues Crews [Blues Clues] every morning. And they have-ah Meestah Salt and Miss Pepper

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

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and they make a baby called Paprika. Can I introduce to nice-ah Korean girr?”

I moved on and found myself sitting in the warm bask of shimmering neon. A middle aged Korean woman.

“You like-ah Korean girr?” she cooed.

Above my “date’s” head sat a television screen showing Korean karaoke. Slowly the hollow letters on the screen became hot pink, as if being filled with air. A man wailed his way through the lyrics like a wounded animal. Middle-aged men stared slack-jawed at the screen from their tables. They looked hypnotized.

I ordered a Corona.

To my immediate left a group of Korean women sat smoking cigarettes as long as pencils, idly waiting for the next customer. Some of these women were clearly past their prime.

Their feet were squished into ill-fitting shoes.

They wore skin-tight leopard print outfits and their faces were caked with make-up. The younger girls had long jet-black hair, sleek bodies and angular faces.

My appointed companion got bored by my incessant note taking. She leaned hard against me, her breast squishing against my arm. She

DINING

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A&E

FILM

Every hostess bar I visited had a ceramic white cat sitting on the bar. The cat was always winking and holding a gold tablet with Chinese script on it. No one could tell me what the cat symbolized.

At one bar, I always saw one woman who I called Oma, which is Korean for Grandmother.

Whenever I saw her I’d give her a high-five, which she thought was hilarious. She was always eating a bag of cherries. She would offer me some and smile at me. She would just sit there all night.

Some hostesses I met had thick Korean accents. Some spoke no English. Some had thick Korean accents, but would slip in Americanisms like “You know what I’m sayin?” or “I’m feelin’ that!” They all carried cell phones with little stuffed animals, canaries, cats, puppy dogs, hanging from a chain.

One hostess told me that in Korea she was a writer. She said she liked Saul Bellow, Ayn Rand and the Egyptian poet Naguib Mahfouz.

She told me that she had read these authors and more translated into Korean at a university.

“When it is slow, I am trying to reading but too dark!” she said.

While many of these women are fresh off the boat, some are Korean-Americans. One of them was Soon, who grew up in Denver.

“I had to make some quick cash,” she told me one night. “I got locked up, I saw my man hanging out with his ex-girl at a PC Bong [an Internet gaming cafe owned and operated by and for Koreans]. I flipped out and went in with a bat and smashed up some computers. I did three months and now I owe money. Lots.

“Some girls get tricked into it,” she continued. “They come from Korea and think they are coming into something glamorous, or they will meet their husband and get citizenship.

They end up having to stay for months and months to recoup the bar owners for their plane ticket here. Lots of them are illegal and paranoid about getting deported. Their families think they are in school in America.”

I asked her how much she makes in a given night.

“It depends on the girl,” she said. “We are like independent agents, except the bar keeps a cut of what we make. How far a girl wants to go is up to her. I don’t touch the

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

guy, but some girls go all the way. The idea is to keep them drinking. Each drink they buy for us is $20 and we keep about half of that. It depends on the bar. Oh yeah, each champagne, well… you know about that. It’s $200. It’s shitty champagne, too. We buy it from Foodland.” MTW

Cunning Lingle What Linda Lingle said about her opposition to the upcoming gasoline price cap during the July 6, 2005 broadcast of her radio show Talk Story with Governor Lingle: “[A]rtificial price controls could affect the supply of gas, because you can’t force a refiner to stay here, or a supplier, and they can go somewhere else.”

What she didn’t say: Lingle really understands the point of view of gasoline refiners and suppliers, and they really dig her, too. For the last five years, they’ve been donating tens of thousands of dollars to her gubernatorial campaign—more than $38,000 since I last checked. And the money’s coming from across the industry: $8,900 from the Tesoro Hawai’i Political Action Committee (PAC); $5,300 from the Chevron PAC; $14,000 from the Maui Petroleum Co.; $2,000 from the Maui Oil Co.; $1,700 from a guy who owns a Shell station in Kahala and so forth.

-Anthony Pignataro

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 14, 2005

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MAUICOUNTY

THURSDAY, JULY 7 Using today’s terrorist bombings of London’s subway network that killed at least 37 and wounded more than 700 as a pretext, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security raised our vaunted and near-useless threat level from YELLOW to ORANGE, but only for mass transit systems. About three seconds later, our own Governor Linda Lingle likewise upped our own Hawai’i Homeland Security Advisory System Threat Condition Level (HHSASTCL) for mass

transit, which is odd since our great state doesn’t have that many busses or trains— beyond the local tourist trolley and such. In any case, both of these alerts come even though security officials admit that “there is no credible threat” to U.S. infrastructure. Now I know we all want to be “safe,” but how come these London bombings are making us thousands of miles away freak out when other bombings—in Iraq, for instance—don’t cause us to miss a step? According to the website Iraqbodycount.net, during the last two weeks of June in Iraq, at least 206 people in Iraq died from suicide car bombs, mortar rounds or just plain gunfire. Is it possible that we’re all freaking out over London because a bunch of white people got blown up, but we’re perfectly willing to live with Arabs getting blasted pretty much every day? What?

MONDAY, JULY 11

Super bad news for everyone who hoped 2nd Circuit Court Judge Joseph Cardoza would force the Superferry people to conduct a full environmental review before docking a single ferry in Kahului Harbor. Yeah, that is not going to happen. As The Maui News reported today, Cardoza is perfectly happy with Superferry officials’ view that $40 million in state-funded harbor construction is just a “temporary” improvement, which means no Environmental Impact Statement (EIS) is necessary. Never mind that the construction work will be permanently changing the harbor or that federal officials like outgoing Haleakala National Park Superintendent Don Reeser have said the Superferry has the potential of making it easier for invasive species to enter Maui (see “Mountain Man,” July 7, 2005).

That’s all incidental! In any case, attorney Isaac Hall, who represents the myriad groups

Woohoo—the Guardian Angels are opening up shop on Maui! Says so right in today’s Maui News. Those guys kick ass—um, the Angels, not the News. Anyway, I’d always thought that since this island was crawling with Harleys that the biker gang was already here, but hey, I don’t know anything. I remember back on the mainland once—what? Oh yeah, that’s the Hell’s Angels. So who are the Guardian Angels? You mean they’re those pansy-asses in the little red berets and white T-shirts who run around thinking they’re some kind of volunteer militia?

Wonderful. And they were brought here by West Maui Representative Kameo Tanaka?

Man, the news just gets better and better. Oh wait, I spoke too soon. The News added that the mighty Angels have already broken up an argument and helped a drunk in Lahaina. Hell, if five of them had pulled over a guy for speeding and wrote a couple tickets for drivers not wearing their seatbelts they would have been indistinguishable from the Maui PD.

MAN: “ALL WE NEED TO DO IS BUY THAT CONDO IN FLORIDA.” WOMAN: “FLORIDA’S CRAZY RIGHT NOW!” MAN: “YEAH, IT IS CRAZY.” -People leaving the Gazebo in Napili, July 11

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JULY 14, 2005

NEWS

Found that Maui County’s Bottle Bill recycling program is just going great. And by “great,” I naturally mean “not at all.” And I don’t mean because some baling machine broke, preventing people from taking in all recyclables except for nickel-deposit plastic bottles. I stopped by the Lahaina redemption center this morning with a couple bags of plastic bottles and found tons of bagged plastic, aluminum and glass, a very nice attendant and no trucks to haul the junk away. What’s more, the guy had no idea when he’d get any trucks. Apparently, residents think recycling is great. Too bad local government hasn’t responded accordingly.

SUNDAY, JULY 10 Because he recently wrote a letter to the Pacific Business News that said with com-

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How about this: we tell the TSA to send guys to bus depots and we move the Guardian Angels over to the recycling centers. Then everybody’s happy!

Anthony Pignataro is currently working on a graphic novel adaptation of Casper the Friendly Ghost. MTW

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plete honesty and candidness that visitors “clog our crowded highways, drink our precious water, crowd our overused beaches, stress our sewage treatment plants, require fire and police protection and encourage the conversion of ohana units to transient vacation rentals,” local tourism boosters are attacking Maui County Planning Director Michael Foley. The letter “concerned me because it continues to perpetuate the naysayers,” state tourism liaison Marsha Wienart told The Maui News today on the controversy.

Now I understand how people like Wienart make their living by encouraging more and more tourists to visit our fair shores, but I don’t recall reading anywhere in the planning director’s job description that Foley must plant a nice big wet kiss on the visitor industry’s ass every chance he gets.

ee

I was unwrapping today’s Maui News when a yellow handbill—the kind usually found folded beneath windshield wipers in the mall parking lot—marked “Federal Employment!

NOW HIRING” fell onto the floor. In retrospect, I shouldn’t have been surprised to read that it was from the Transportation Security Administration (TSA), and that they’re looking to hire more security screeners for Kahului and Kapalua Airports. Or that “minimal requirements” for jobs that could have saved 3,000-plus lives on one midSeptember day in 2001 are U.S. citizenship, a high school diploma or equivalency “OR” one year of security experience, English “proficiency” and the ability to pass a background/credit check. Gee, I feel safer already.

But seriously, can’t the TSA—which Congress allows to inspect airline passengers without disclosing the laws they operate under, much like some fascist dictatorships that don’t really need to be named here—think of better selling points to recruit security screeners than pushing stuff like “NO PREVIOUS EXPERIENCED REQUIRED” and “Part-Time starting at $13.98 per hour PLUS BENEFITS”?

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WEDNESDAY, JULY 6

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MAUICOUNTY

BY COURTNEY MATHER

Sherri Reeve Serendipity in the making Those of you who know artist Sherri Reeve would probably agree that she puts the “S” in serendipity. I’m not certain what is more serendipitous–how I first met Sherri, or the events that led to her becoming the success that she is today.

I first became acquainted with Sherri through a surprise phone call one day. “Hi Courtney, this is Sherri Reeve,” she said.

“You may know of me, I own an art gallery in Makawao.”

Probably not your first guess, but Sherri was calling to set me up on a blind

The letter was written to a friend who would eventually become a buyer at Liberty House and take on Sherri’s first line of shirts. Sherri’s first three shirts would then go national and have record sales.

“This opportunity provided me with product to sell at the local craft fairs along with my posters and greeting cards,” she said. “I now had enough product lines with paintings, greeting cards and t-shirts to provide jobs for members of my family in sales and warehousing, and the venue to start creating a product base for my first catalog… which ultimately was a big

LOOKING BACK, SHERRI SEES THAT LETTER AS DIVINE INTERVENTION. “THERE’S NO OTHER EXPLANATION FOR IT,” SHE TOLD ME. “IT’S TOO CRAZY!” date with her ex-boyfriend. I politely declined. But I decided I had to meet the vivacious woman behind the phone call.

And so it was that Sherri’s chance phone call blessed me with not a boyfriend, but an endearing friendship.

Sherri just has a way of connecting people. Take, for example, Sherri’s colorful array of T-shirts which greets you as you enter the Sherri Reeve Gallery. Wear one of these shirts and you may single-handedly reduce global interconnectedness from six to two degrees of separation.

“I’m always touched by the stories I hear about my clients introducing themselves to one another because one of them is wearing my shirt,” Sherri told me.

On your next visit to the gallery, be sure to ask Sherri what prompted her to start carrying her artwork on shirts. Don’t be surprised if she answers with a story about a letter she mailed from Boston to Oahu in 1986 that mysteriously reappeared in a ravine in Waiehu four years later.

part of my being able to open my own store.”

Looking back, Sherri sees that letter as divine intervention. “There’s no other explanation for it,” she told me. “It’s too crazy!”

Still, Sherri insists that her success was not overnight. It was years spent painting at night and on weekends, pursuing the craft show circuit, and marketing herself as an artist that created the canvas for divine intervention to paint upon.

Sherri remembers well the days she spent pacing Front Street in Lahaina, portfolio in hand. “Before this success happened, I was in my eighth month of pregnancy, and broke,” she said. “I really like saying that because it lets other artists know that I started with meager beginnings. I didn’t just start out with where I am now. A lot of people walk in and say, ‘Wow she’s been so successful.’ I’m a 15-year overnight success. It’s been years in the making.”

And then there’s the support of Sherri’s ohana—her mother, sisters, niece, daughter and friend Eloise Miranda.

“It’s been seven years,” Miranda told me.

Sherri and her daughter Hailey at the 2005 Seabury Hall Fair

Maui Community College U N I V E R S I T Y

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with Sherri.

“It’s a fantastic opportunity to learn from my aunt who is an excellent example of entrepreneurship and creative vision,” she said.

And, if I might add, of matchmaking gone blissfully awry and serendipity in the making.

“A long history. I’ve outlasted most of her boyfriends! Working for Sherri has been a great opportunity. I feel like part of the family. We take the time to share this aloha with our customers.”

Makana Doyle, Sherri’s niece who manages SReeve Designs, spoke with me about working

MTW

S Y S T E M

fall

2005

m a u i . h a w a i i . e d u

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Choose from Liberal Arts transfer degrees or 18 Career & Technical Education degrees and certificates. It couldn’t be easier. Admissions counselors are available to help you. Call 984-3286 today or visit the web at maui.hawaii.edu.

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Maui Community College does not discriminate on the basis of race, sex, age, religion, color, national origin, ancestry, disability, marital status, arrest and court records, sexual orientation, or status as a covered veteran.

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JUST PLAIN NUTS

LAW IN THE OC

Willie Windsor, 54, of Phoenix has for several years lived as a full-time baby, wearing frilly dresses, diapers and bonnets, sucking on a pacifier, eating Gerber cuisine, and habitually clutching a rag doll, in a home filled with oversized baby furniture.

According to a long Phoenix New Times profile in June, the diaper is not just a prop.

Windsor said he worked hard to become incontinent, even chaining the commode shut to avoid temptation, and the reporter admitted feeling “disconcert[ed]” that Windsor might be relieving himself at the very moment he was describing his un-toilet training. Apparently, Windsor’s brother, ex-wife, girlfriend and a neighbor tolerate his lifestyle, though no girlfriend has yet been willing to change his diapers. Windsor is a semi-retired singer/actor and said he’s been celibate for nine years.

In 1999, Orange County (Calif.) Sheriff Michael Carona and his former chief assistant Donald Haidl deputized 86 untrained civilians, at least half of whom were their friends or family or political contributors, giving them badges and in some cases gun permits and limited arrest powers, according to a May 2005 Los Angeles Times report. Some of the 86 volunteers are still “on duty,” and the sheriff did not begin to dismiss some “deputies” until a state law enforcement organization continued to complain that the deputies were not qualified for police work under state law.

FAMILY VALUES After a passer-by found two kids (ages 12 and six) dragging suitcases along a rural road near Marshfield, Mo., in June, prosecutors charged their mother, Roxanna Osborne, and her boyfriend, Timmy Young, with child abandonment.

The kids said their mother had awakened them, given them $5 each, and told them to pack up and leave. The kids told police that the two adults are drug-users.

UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT While virtually every town along the nearly 20 miles of the Long Beach Island, N.J., seashore has signs warning beachgoers of the dangers of rip tides (according to a June Asbury Park Press story), Long Beach Township does not. Even though experts say that most summer visitors are ignorant of the powerful currents and how to cope with them, Township Attorney Richard Shackleton said posting such helpful warnings may hurt local taxpayers. Shackleton explained that a town generally has no legal duty to warn swimmers of natural conditions, but that once a town attempts to warn, judges and juries will too often find the warnings inadequate and permit a swimmer (or his survivors) huge damages.

LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS

JENNY CRAIG NEVER SAID THIS Brian F. Monfort, 27, was arrested in Springfield, Ohio, in April and charged with child enticement based on an arrest report noting that twice, in January and March, he had approached children and paid them money (up to $40) to insult him for being fat, supposedly as a tactic to inspire himself to lose weight.

Justin Breakspear, 18, was arrested in Framingham, Mass., in May and charged with illegal possession of three firearms, one of which was a .380-caliber pistol; police said it was unlikely Breakspear would claim the pistol is not his, in that on his hip is a tattoo of an exact replica of the gun. And in Glens Falls, N.Y., in May, Jason McClaskey, 25, on house arrest, was admitted to a hospital in Valhalla,

N.Y., with burns over 60 percent of his body; police said McClaskey might have tried to burn the monitoring device off of his leg (though McClaskey said he was merely lighting his grill, even though it was 6 a.m., and there was no charcoal on the grill).

PEOPLE WITH ISSUES In May, retired obstetrician Parviz “Peter” Modaber, 73, was ordered by a judge to stay out of Clarke County, Va., following his fourth conviction for taking bags of garbage from his home near Charles Town, W.Va., and dumping them along a highway in Clarke County, though court records described by The Washington Post indicated that Modaber had done it many more than four times. Modaber’s attorney said the doctor held an intense grudge against the state for having suspended his license during the 1980s and that bucolic Clarke County just happened to be near his home. Modaber had been sentenced three times to a total of 540 hours of picking up litter, but a vigilant citizen caught him dumping again less than six months after the third conviction.

GOAT-FANCIERS Goat-hoarding continues as an occasional obsession, with a woman in Saarburg, Germany, evicted in June for sharing her home with 43 goats, and a man in Aiken, S.C., charged with animal cruelty in May for cohabiting for seven years with 200 goats in a house whose walls were gnawed away and which contained 3-foot-high hay stacks saturated with manure and urine. And in June, Kentucky officials selected, as the test site for its terror-emergency procedures, the state’s goat show in Erlanger.

Said a state Homeland Security official, “We try to focus on what really matters to Kentucky.”

UPDATE In June, 13 Cuban refugees in a boat fashioned from a 1949 Mercury taxicab were intercepted by U.S. authorities about 20 miles from their destination of Key West, Fla. Based on current policy, the 13 will probably be returned to Cuba. However, in March, Cuban Luis Grass, and his wife and 5-year-old son, part of groups that had been turned back in two pontoonedcar attempts, in 2003 (1951 Chevy truck) and 2004 (1959 Buick), sneaked across the U.S. border in Brownsville, Texas. Since they actually made it to American soil this time, they will probably be allowed to remain.

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UNDIGNIFIED DEATHS A sheriff’s spokesman in Gastonia, N.C., said a local police officer, summoned to a hit-and-run scene, accidentally ran over the victim (though investigators later concluded that he was already dead) (June). In Fort Worth, Texas, an intoxicated woman involved in a collision got out of her car to investigate and was killed when a beer truck accidentally rammed one of the cars into her (and the truck driver, too, was found to be intoxicated) (January). In Brownsville, Texas, a 29-year-old man working at a silo accidentally fell in, quickly sank into the 20-foot pile of grain, and suffocated (April).MTW

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 14, 2005

9

OPED

BY TED RALL

Karl Rove

PHOTO: NANCY KASZERMAN/ZUMA PRESS

Worse than Osama Bin Laden In war, collaborators are more dangerous than enemy forces, for they betray with intimate knowledge in painful detail and demoralize by their cynical example. This explains why, at the end of occupations, the newly liberated exact vengeance upon their treasonous countrymen.

If, as state-controlled media insists, there is such a creature as a Global War on Terrorism, our enemies are underground Islamist organizations allied with or ideologically similar to those that attacked us on 9/11.

But who are the collaborators?

The right points to critics like Michael Moore, yours truly, and Ward Churchill, the Colorado professor who points out the gaping chasm between America’s high-falooting rhetoric and its historical record.

But these bête noires are guilty only of the all-American actions of criticism and dissent, not to mention speaking uncomfortable truths to liars and deniers. As far as we know, no one on what passes for the “left” (which would be the center-right anywhere else) has betrayed the United States in the GWOT. No antiBush progressive has made common cause with Al Qaeda, Hamas, the Islamic Movement of Uzbekistan or any other officially designated “terrorist” group. No American liberal has handed over classified information or worked to undermine the CIA. But it now appears that Karl Rove, GOP golden boy, has done exactly that.

Last week Time Magazine turned over its reporter’s notes to a special prosecutor assigned to learn who told Republican columnist Bob Novak that Valerie Plame was a CIA agent. The revelation, which effectively ended Plame’s CIA career and may have endangered her life, followed her husband Joe Wilson’s publication of a New York Times op-ed piece that embarrassed the Bush Administration by debunking its claims that Saddam Hussein tried to buy uranium from Niger.

Time’s cowardly decision to break its promise to a confidential source has had one beneficial side effect: according to Newsweek, it indicates that Karl Rove himself made the call to Novak.

One might have expected Rove, the

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Karl Rove, spy-smasher master White House political strategist who engineered Bush’s 2000 coup d’état and post-9/11 permanent war public relations campaign, to have ordered a flunky underling to carry out this act of high treason. But as the Arab saying goes, arrogance diminishes wisdom.

Rove, whose gaping maw recently vomited forth that Democrats didn’t care about 9/11, is atypically silent. He did talk to the Time reporter but “never knowingly disclosed classified information,” claims his attorney. But there’s circumstantial evidence to go along with Time’s leaked notes. Ari Fleischer abruptly resigned as Bush’s press secretary on May 16, 2003, about the same time the White House became aware of Ambassador Wilson’s plans to go public. (Wilson’s article appeared July 6.) Did Fleischer quit because he didn’t want to act as spokesman for Rove’s plan to betray CIA agent Plame? Another interesting coincidence: Novak published his Plame column on July 14, Fleischer’s last day on the job.

If Newsweek’s report is accurate, Karl Rove is more morally repugnant and more antiAmerican than Osama bin Laden. Bin Laden, after all, has no affiliation with, and therefore no presumed loyalty to, the United States. Rove, on the other hand, is a U.S. citizen and, as deputy White House chief of staff, a high-ranking official of the U.S. government sworn to uphold and defend our nation, its laws and its interests. Yet he sold out America just to get even with Joe Wilson.

Osama bin Laden, conversely, is loyal to his cause. He has never exposed an Al Qaeda agent’s identity to the media. “[Knowingly revealing Plame’s name and undercover status to the media]... is a violation of the Intelligence Identities Protection Act and is punishable by as much as ten years in prison,” notes the Washington Post. Unmasking an intelligent agent during a time of war, however, surely rises to giving aid and comfort to America’s enemies—treason. Treason is punishable by execution under the United States Code.

How far up the White House food chain does the rot of treason go? “Bush has always known how to keep Rove in his place,” wrote Time in 2002 about a “symbiotic relationship” that dates to 1973.

This isn’t some rogue “plumbers” operation. Rove would never go it alone on a high-stakes action like Valerie Plame. It’s a safe bet that other, higher-ranking figures in the Bush cabal—almost certainly Dick Cheney and possibly Bush himself— signed off before Rove called Novak. For the sake of national security, those involved should be removed from office at once.

Rove and his collaborators should quickly resign and face prosecution for betraying their country, but given their sense of personal entitlement impeachment is probably the best we can hope for.

Congress, and all Americans, should place patriotism ahead of party loyalty. MTW

LC Watch Victory!

Few among us ever get so lucky that they can taste—really taste—the sweetness of victory. Eisenhower tasted it in ‘45 when the Nazis surrendered. The Boston Red Sox tasted it last year when they finally won a post1919 World Series. And the miniature poodle Fontclair Festoon tasted it by winning Best in Show at the 1959 Westminster Dog Show.

And now I’ve tasted it.

Victory.

Tastes great.

As a direct result of the intrepid reporting of this newspaper, the Maui County Department of Liquor Control will no longer print jokes—involving dumb blondes who try to repair their dented car by blowing into the tailpipe or not—in the newsletter it sends out twice a year to liquor establishments.

Please hold your applause until the end of the column.

Acting on a tip from a concerned citizen, Maui Time Weekly chased the LC joke story with unwavering vigor. After first obtaining a copy of the June newsletter Booze Clues—I think I just asked someone at the LC for a copy, and he gave it me—I analyzed the joke in question for signs of insensitivity, eroticism and lameness.

As a service to our readers, we reprinted the joke in our June 23, 2005 issue. Apparently, that was too much for one person.

“People enjoyed the newsletter,” Silva told the LC’s Board of Adjudication on July 7, 2005, just moments before dropping his bombshell. “[But] we got one complaint on the joke. Somebody read it in the Maui Times [sic] and complained.”

As a result, Silva informed the board, it’s all strictly business in the newsletters now. But even at this late hour, with shame and defeat staring him in the face, Silva would not repent.

“I thought it was pretty safe,” he said. “Most of them [the jokes] come from Readers’ Digest.”

—Anthony Pignataro

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11

The door is always hard to find. It’ll be hidden in some alleyway, often times down a stairwell, in a neighborhood you were told to never go late at night. And certainly not alone. The streets are usually quiet, apart from the sound of your heels clicking on the sidewalk and the nearly silent hiss of steam rising up from sewer plates.

·

Illustration: Mike Weber / artdispenser.com

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JULY 14, 2005

COVER STORY

You hesitate, but the cab driver said this was definitely the place to go. And so you enter. Inside, you see a dark and smoky den, dimly lit by the soft light from flickering candles. You spot the occasional glint of bourbon in glass, then look onstage at a glowing sax or trumpet or perhaps a metallic glare from drum cymbals, all set against an unassuming back wall draped in black.

Typically, the room—intimate with hushed conversation—is populated by ladies in cocktail dresses and men in ties, all sitting at small, round tables. Some are smiling, their eyes half closed. They nod now and then, giving into the syncopated rhythm and harmonies of jazz.

This is a jazz club. There aren’t any like it on Maui. Arguably, there is no “scene,” no nightly venue for locals to gather in sophisticated appreciation of John Coltrane or Miles Davis. There is an abundance of jazz musicians who live here, but there are no backalley or underground speakeasies for them to jam, test their improvisational skills, take risks or just play freely the music that was

at Ka’anapali offers free, live jazz concerts early Sunday evenings. Other resorts book regular shows, but the granddaddy of them all is the Four Seasons Resort in Wailea.

Four nights a week, the resort boasts jazz pianist Sal Godinez with accompanying standup bass player Marcus Johnson in their Lobby Lounge. It’s often packed.

It’s not your typical dining venue, nor is it a smoky bar. It’s an open-air lobby in a four star hotel that caters to the notoriously rich and famous—reportedly Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee attended one recent jazz night.

Somehow, at least on Maui, jazz has become the music of choice at our high-end restaurants and hotels that typically cater to society’s affluent, upper echelon.

It wasn’t always that way. Jazz traces its roots back to the American slave trade in the 17th and 18th centuries. Oppressed, persecuted and stripped of their culture, African slaves gleaned what little liberation they could in the form of song and dance, blending spiritual hymns with traditional folk music, using percussion and creative improvisation—what

“pleasant-sounding background music for visitors.” Local hotels and restaurants mainly want instrumental music that won’t distract guests from eating or drinking—basically, from spending money.

Some venues have strong holds on the content of jazz being performed, requesting that musicians stick to more familiar standards and tone down stylistic flourishes. One hotel manager even told a local musician not to “make so many faces” while playing.

“It’s as if they were saying, ‘Don’t be too artistic now!’” the musician told me later.

But how do these jazz pros retain the integrity of a music revered for its power, strength and creative freedom? How do they reconcile the loss of their art for the gain of commerce? Is what they play still jazz?

“The secret to playing hotel lobby jazz is to be real,” said Mark Johnston, a keyboardist.

“You just can’t be real loud. You have to find what you groove on and you have to play the room. If people are eating, you don’t wanna play some crazy Sun Ra stuff. But it’s up to the individual to offer their vision. You can use

Jazztastic!

Maui’s paradoxical jazz scene born of freedom.

Other than one night at Café Marc Aurel, a coffeehouse and wine bar in Wailuku, and two post-dinner jams at the oceanfront restaurant Pacific’O in Lahaina, there exists only a handful of restaurants—Capische? and Bamboo Chi in Wailea, Ma’alaea Grill, Reilley’s in Ka’anapali—that feature mainly solo jazz pianists. And only during dinner hours.

Just last year, Yorman’s By the Sea, a southern-inspired eatery, opened on the ground level of the Menehune Shores Resort in Kihei. It was to feature an actual house band playing jazz standards during and after dinner. But before they opened, condo residents complained about the potential noise to the Maui County Liquor Commission. After two contentious hearings, the commissioners told Yorman’s to keep it down and knock it off by 10 p.m., or else. The LC also suggested Yorman’s play something more “subdued” than jazz.

Such actions were unthinkable a mere generation ago. In 1981, the infamous Blackie’s Bar & Jazz Club delighted jazz fans in Lahaina. For 11 years, owners Blackie and Sara Gabarian hosted live jazz three to four nights a week. While Blackie says he preferred the “mainstream, straight-ahead” jazz of the ‘30s and ‘40s, local musicians today fondly recall the creative freedom and support they felt playing at his club.

“It was a great time,” says 84-year -old Blackie today. “But I’m a creature of the wind.

After a while, I had to do something else.”

Today, jazz fans have to go to completely new establishments for their syncopated fixes.

These days, the most consistent—and surprising—proponents of jazz on Maui are the big resorts. During the summer, Whaler’s Village

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would later build the foundation of ragtime, a precursor to jazz. Their white American owners ate it up.

In 1866, Civil War Reconstruction began its winding path of righteousness throughout the South. The goal was to protect AfricanAmericans by prohibiting discrimination. But by the late 1800s, segregation was prevalent, legalized by no less an authority than the U.S. Supreme Court. A little over a hundred years ago, the “Land of the free” was considered one of the most racist nations on earth.

And this was precisely when jazz stepped in.

Shunned by most of white America at the time, black communities began coming together, socially and politically. They did so with music, one of the only professions that wasn’t closed to them.

“Segregation made it possible for further black cultural syncretism to take place, which made jazz not only a viable expression across a broad spectrum of the artistic black community, but also an expression open to experimentation because it was built on the idea of blending,” wrote Gerald Early, Professor of English and Afro-American Studies at Washington University in St. Louis, Missouri.

Jazz also became an important barrier breaker in World War I, as black troops who performed in military bands exposed Europe to America’s unique brand of martial ragtime.

During the Great Depression, radio jazz lifted the spirits of a nation in hard economic times.

Swing jazz provided a physical outlet—that would be dancing—that liberated people, white and black, from the stresses of economic hardship.

And yet, in the luxurious comfort of the tropical vacation destination we call home, “jazz” seems to translate into little more than

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innovation when playing ‘Girl from Ipanema.’

But [in hotels and restaurants] you don’t wanna change it too much to be esoteric.”

Other musicians—taking a cue from trumpet player Wynton Marsalis—prefer to think of jazz as a style of playing music with “a quiet intensity.” Johnston recognizes this as well.

“I’ve seen how musicians justify navigating through the difficult territory of lobby jazz,” he said. “And I’ve seen them sit there and very quietly, wail their asses off. Hotel lobby jazz tends to be creamier. But for the most part, I like chunks in my peanut butter.”

The lack of a jazz scene outside the hotels and restaurants on Maui is not for lack of talent. There are dozens of professional players who have done the mainland tour circuit, recorded albums, played in major cities and jazz-friendly urban areas and then, like many transplants, tired of the rat race and moved here, finding enjoyment—and work— in other areas.

Or as one musician put it, “Jazz paid zero percent of my mortgage.”

Many professionals find the lack of competitive venues and the resulting pressures to be refreshing. Still, musicians are a restless lot.

Successful keyboardist Gene Argel said that while he loves Maui now, he once considered moving to New York for more gigs. But he said fellow jazz guitarist and keyboardist Shiro Mori talked him out of it.

“If you’re a jazz player, you’re going to play,” Argel said Mori told him. “You don’t need a place.”

Argel eventually agreed.

“You play it ‘cause your life depends on it,” he told me. MTW

By Samantha Campos CLASSIFIEDS

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I love smoothies. A smoothie is more of an experience than a mere beverage. I love the consistency, taste, freezing cold temperature, healthy attributes and even how they’re so easily digestible.

I get feverish and anxious when I’m close to a smoothie. I have to have one. I relish those few suspenseful moments before my first taste and then the moment of truth.

The recipe for the perfect smoothie is complex: it requires just the right amount of ice, fruit, flavor, ice cream—or yogurt or soy—and add-ins like protein or vita boosts. Too much or too little of anything will send off alarms in my mouth.

Those in the smoothie business know that customers like me make for a tough market. We’ll come back again and again if you consistently get it right.

But when I get a sub-par smoothie, I feel a mix of sadness and bitterness.

Sadness because I know the potential that my drink failed to live up to. And bitterness because I was holding a pound of unpalatable liquid that I now feel obligated to finish like a champ.

Long ago I decided to never lower my standards for anything short of delicious.

I think I speak for smoothie lovers everywhere when I say getting a mediocre smoothie can be an emotional experience not easily forgotten. Or forgivable.

Smoothies play an important role in Maui. They fit into our environment like surf wax and plumeria. Nothing really quenches your thirst in a hot and humid place like this than a nice tall Styrofoam cup of icy blended pineapple sherbet.

Last week I pushed my smoothie love to the limit and patronized the Jamba Juice in the Old Lahaina Center five days in a row, each time ordering a 24-ouncer:

WEDNESDAY Feeling adventurous, opted for the new wholesome Matcha Green Tea smoothie. Don’t really drink green tea that much, but I found it very creamy, unusual, captivating. Protein boost fueled me through six hours of waiting tables, then an hour run.

THURSDAY Same variety, same size, same boost, same sweet effect. So many customers go through there, no one recognized me from the day before. This time my friend ordered a shot of wheatgrass, which is seven servings of lettuce condensed into an ounce. Looked like liquid seaweed. Smelled like a freshly cut lawn. She chased it with an orange wedge.

FRIDAY Decided to mix up. Went for the Mango AGo-Go, this time with the performance boost.

Fruity and delicious. Hit the spot. Can’t say the boost affected my performance in any way during the day, but it did really fill me up.

More disturbing was that my friend opted for the Mango smoothie, too, but hers was just a little off. Put her in a bad mood until lunch.

SATURDAY Adulterous thoughts won over and I reverted to the Matcha smoothie with the protein boost. Savored every drop. While waiting in line, was transfixed by the girl pureeing fresh carrots into a stunningly orange-colored juice.

Made a mental note to try that sometime.

Thought for a moment the cashier recognized me from my serial visits, but no.

SUNDAY Saw a little kid drinking a bucket of Peenya Kowlada, sucking it with each step. Smiled, then ordered Matcha once again. MTW

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$ $10-$20

$$ $20-$40

CENTRAL MAUI Ale House - Wide selection of food with sports and games all around. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 877-9001. $ Aloha Grill - A large assortment of burgers with veggie styles and all the extras. Mon-Sat, 8 a.m.-8:30 p.m.; Sun, 8 a.m.-7 p.m. 270 Dairy Road Marketplace, Kahului, 893-0263. $ Bangkok Cuisine - Casual setting featuring exceptional Thai food with plenty of crisp vegetables and fresh seafood. Lunch, dinner or take-out. Open daily, 11 a.m.-9:30 p.m. 395 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 893-0026. $ Brooklyn Café - Delicious healthy alternative.

Eat in or take out plate lunches and snacks.

Finest organic whole foods used. Open Mon-Fri, 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Corner of Market and Main, Wailuku, 877-4950. $ Cupie’s Drive-In - Local lunch take-out. Mon, 9 a.m.-4 p.m.; Tue-Sat, 9 a.m.-9 p.m. 134 W. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 877-3055. $ Da Sushi Bar - Full menu and a variety of sushi.

Open 11 a.m.- 2:30 p.m. and 5-9 p.m. Fri-Sat, 5 p.m.-12 a.m. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877-4849. $$ Dragon Dragon Chinese Restaurant Excellent service and fair prices with dishes like Kung Pao Chicken, Crispy Gau Gee Mein and Honey Walnut Prawns. Maui Mall, Kahului, 893-1628. $ Dunes Restaurant - Adventuresome revisions of local and American breakfast, lunch and dinner favorites. Mon-Fri, 6:30 a.m.-7:30 p.m.; Sat-Sun, 6:30 a.m.-9 p.m. Maui Lani Golf Course, Kahului, 877-7461. $$ Gardencafe (Brigit & Bernard's) - Oasis of cozy European and fresh island fish cuisine in the midst of the industrial zone. Lunch, dinner, catering. Mon-Fri, 10 a.m.-3 p.m. 335 Ho'ohana St., Kahului, 877-6000. $$ Island Saimin Noodle Cafe - Island grinds, chow fun house specialty. Open breakfast and lunch, 6 a.m.-3 p.m. 34 Lono Ave., Kahului, 877-4400. $ Little Ceasar Pizza Station - Specialty pizzas along with salads and sandwiches. Located inside of K-mart. 424 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 871-1566. $ Koho Grill & Bar - Comfort food in a casual setting. Breakfast, lunch and dinner Open daily at 7 a.m. 275 Kaahumanu Ave., Queen Ka’ahumanu Center, 877-5588.

Krispy Kreme - This place is known all over the world for its warm, tasty glazed doughnuts.

433 Kele St., Kahului, 893-0883. $ Manaña Garage - Latin-American cuisine with unique and colorful decor. Try the Chicken Tortilla Epozote, vegetarian enchilada and paella.

Cool, quaint bar. 33 Lono St., Kahului, 873-0220. $$ Maui Coffee Roasters - Ono grinds and freshly roasted coffee in a fun and casual atmosphere makes this the place to take five. 444 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 877-CUPS. $ Maui Mix Plate - Traditional foods of the varied ethnic groups who call Hawai’i home. 70 Ka’ahumanu Ave, Kahului, 877-0706. $

’

$$$ $40 and up

’

K Kama’aina Discount

Mercado - Latino/Mexican market, with produce from Mexico, So. America, Tonga and New Zealand.

Homemade tamales. Open Mon-Fri, 8 a.m.-5:30 p.m.

325 Hukilike St., Kahului, 871-5067. $ Piñata’s - Fresh and wholesome Mexican food from Kitchen Sink burritos to quesadillas. Casual dining and various piñatas available. 395 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 8778707. $ Ruby’s - Walk down memory lane at this fabulous ‘50s cafe. Old-time American dining morning to night.

Queen Ka`ahumanu Center, Kahului, 248-7829. $ Saigon Cafe - Wailuku’s hidden secret! Delicious and affordable Vietnamese cuisine with excellent service. 1792 Main, Wailuku, 243-9560. $$ Sheik’s Restaurant - Local favorites including Loco Moco and Shoyu Chicken. 97 Wakea Ave., Kahului, 877-0121. $ Simply Sweets Bakery - Delicious sweet and savory pastries, rolls, cakes, Mauisadas and deli sandwiches. Open Mon-Thu, 7 a.m.-5:30 p.m.; Fri, 7 a.m.6:30 p.m; Sat, 7 a.m.- 4 p.m. 150 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 893-0700. $ Squeaky’s Family Restaurant - “A Taste of Philadelphia” with real Philly cheesesteak, pan-fried trout, vegetarian meatloaf. Open for breakfast. 197 North Market St., Wailuku, 244-4100. $ Sushi Go - Presents a concept unlike anything we’ve seen on Maui: conveyor-belt sushi! Queen Ka'ahumanu Center, Kahului, 877-8744. $ Takamiya Market - Plate lunches, homemade corned beef, sashimi, tossed salads. Catering and banquet facility. 359 N. Market St., Wailuku, 244-3404. $ Tiffany’s - Featuring 103 items of local and Asian entrees, Bento boxes, noodles and fish. Featuring DJ and Karaoke. Open 10:30-2 a.m. 1424 Lower Main St. Wailuku, 249-0052. $ Tokyo Tei - Lunch and dinner featuring teriyaki beef and fish, tempura, katsu, saimin and more. 1063 E. Lower Main St., Wailuku, 242-9630. $ Wei Wei BBQ & Noodle House - Very affordable Chinese cuisine, counter-service, delicious noodle dishes. 210 Imikala St., Wailuku, 242-7928. $

Dollar amounts are based on dinner for two, not including beverages, tax & tip.

Bistro Molokini - Blend of California and Island cuisine, lunch and dinner. Poolside. Grand Wailea, 8751234. $$ Blue Marlin Harbor Front Grill & Bar - Get amazing seafood, steaks, sandwiches, pizza and sushi.

Eat outdoors overlooking the Ma’alaea Fishing Fleet.

Ma’alaea Harbor Village, 244-8844. $$ Cafe Kiowai - Authentic Japanese fare according to centuries-old tradition. Casual dining in a relaxed garden setting. 5400 Makena Alanui, Maui Prince Hotel, 874-1111. $$ Capische? - Contemporary Italian with a twist and an extensive wine list. Commanding ocean views from every table. Wailea Diamond Resort, 879-2224. $$$ Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food.

Plate lunches, steak plates and amazing chicken katsu.

Very casual; sit and eat or get your food to go. 2439 S. Kihei Rd., 875-7782. $ Dina’s Sandwitch - Deli sandwiches, salads and

EMPLOYEE OF THE

SOUTH MAUI Alexander’s Fish & Chips - Affordable take-out seafood, chicken, ribs—all deep fried tempura style or grilled. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., 874-0788. $ Aroma D’Italia Ristorante - Southern Italian cuisine and full wine list at reasonable prices. Open MonSat, 5-9 p.m. 1881 S. Kihei Rd., 879-0133. $$ BadaBing! - Home of the Rat Pack Bar. Pizzas, pastas and Italian specialties created with love and a little attitude. $10 wines and kids eat free on Monday and Saturday. Fuhgeddaboudit! 1945 S. Kihei Rd., 8750188. $$ Beach ’n Bagels Cafe - Fresh Bagels with traditional toppings of flavored cream cheeses, smoked salmon, sandwiches, salads, smoothies and specialty coffee drinks. 2395 S. Kihei Rd., Dolphin Plaza, 8757668. $

hot dogs, homemade potato salad, pasta salad,

After A Jaws Workout

Catering Available NEW SUMMER HOURS Mon.-Sat. 11am-2pm & 9pm-3am Sun. Sunset-2am

In the Pauwela Cannery 375 W. Kuiaha Rd. • Haiku

575-9242

LOCATED AT PARADICE BLUZ ON FRONT STREET LETTERS

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AS TOLD TO GABRIELLE POCCIA

Kitchen Manager, Pita Paradise

We’re Close to Jaws Serving: • High quality, healthy food at reasonable prices • Fresh baked pastries and bread daily • All items available for take-out orders

Fresh Fish Chicken or Pork Tacos

WEEK David Burt

Give Your Jaws A Workout

I s l a n d Ta c o

healthy garden fresh salads and saimin. Open 11 a.m.10 p.m. 145 N. Kihei Rd, 879-3262. $ Fernando’s - Authentic Mexican food. Open 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. daily. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei, 879-9952. $ Fiesta Time - Superior Mexican taqueria. Order a la carte or combo special with the freshest ingredients.

300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ma’alaea, 244-5862. $ Harry’s Sushi Bar - Japanese cuisine with fresh and delicious sushi. Open 5 p.m.-12 a.m. 100 Ike Drive, Wailea, 879-7677. $$ Horhitos Mexican Cantina - Burritos, salads, appetizers and “food for gringos,” too. Located next to Hapa’s Nightclub. Open 5 p.m. to 2 a.m. Mon.-Sat. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei, 891-MEXI. $

7am-2:30pm, 7 days a week

We catch all of our own fish for Pita Paradise.

We’ve got a big ‘ole boat. My uncle John—who owns the restaurant—another fisherman and I go out and catch mainly mahi and ono. That is normal for summer and in the winter we catch a lot of bottom fish like opakapaka.

I grew up in Maui but my first job was as a busser in a fine dining restaraunt while going to college in Florida. When I came back to Maui two years ago my aunt and uncle—the owners of Pita Paradise—suggested I come work at the restaurant.

I started off washing dishes for about three weeks, then learned how to cook. After six months I got promoted to the kitchen manager and I really like my job.

I work for about 10 and a half hours a day, about four or five times a week. I usually do all prep during the day and then I cook at night.

When I am not at Pita Paradise I also shape surfboards on the side.

I think that the best part is that I get to help my family. It is a small place and we are all kind of like family at the restaurant. A couple of us live together. I go to work with them then I come home and hang out with them.

We have a really good mix of locals and tourists coming in. Our food is great. Once you eat there, you’ll keep coming back. MTW

www.pauwelacafecafe.com

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BURGERS • SANDWICHES • STEAKS •SEAFOOD • PASTA • SALAD BAR

Under New Ownership!

ALL NEW MENUS Featuring Executive Chef Brian Noordman Champagne Breakfast Buffet Every Saturday & Sunday 8:00-12:00 Only $19.95

Happy Hour from 3pm-6pm $2.00 Bud & Bud Light Drafts • $2.50 Mai Tais & Margaritas

Every Day!!!

THE BEST BREAKFAST ON FRONT STREET

15% Kamaaina Discount 658 Front Street, Lahaina (Across from the Famous Banyan Tree in the Wharf Cinema Center) 661-8141 OPEN DAILY 8am-2am www.bluelagoonmaui.com

Burritos! Nachos! Salsa Bar!

Island Fish Tacos Grilled Steak, Chicken Vegetarian MAUI Lahaina Square, Lahaina • 661-8883 Kamaole Beach Center, Kihei • 879-5005 Napili Plaza, Napili • 665-0222 Kaahumanu Center, Kahului • 871-7726 BIG ISLAND Prince Kuhio Plaza, Hilo • 959-0359 OAHU Mililani Shopping Center, Mililani • 623-9405 Kailua Village Shops, Kailua • 261-4155

www.mauitacoscookbook.com Email: eatmaui@maui.net www.mauitacos.com

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JULY 14, 2005

DINING

DININGLISTINGS Humuhumunukunukuapua’a - Hawaiian and Polynesian cuisine oceanside. Grand Wailea Resort, 875-1234 ext. 4900. $$$ Joy’s Place - “Smart eating” featuring organic foods which are low fat, low salt and wheat free.

Open Mon thru Sat, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. 1993 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9258. $ Keoki’s Fish ‘N Chips - Ono Fish & Chips.

Open for breakfast at 7 a.m. Kukui Mall, next to Starbucks, 891-1400. $ Life’s A Beach - Food and drinks in a fun atmosphere. Nachos, burritos, prime rib and grilled mahi mahi and lunch specials. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8010. $ Longhi’s Wailea - Seafood, meat and pasta entrees with many not listed on the menu. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., 891-8883. $$$ Ma`alaea Grill - Reasonably priced fine dining overlooking the harbor from the Maui Ocean Center. Ma`alaea Harbor Village, 243-2206. $$ Marco’s South Side Grill - A lavish and beautiful setting complements the hearty Italian food and excellent wines. 1445 S. Kihei Rd., 8744041. $$ Maui Tacos - Featuring tacos and burritos with chargrilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in pineapple, lime juices and spices from the islands. 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kamaole Beach Center, 879-5005. $ Nick’s Fishmarket - Fine dining in open air and elegance with amazing seafood dishes and fresh fish. Fairmont Kea Lani, Wailea, 879-7224. $$$ Pita Paradise - Good food served fast. Serving up a mean Mediterranean-style “gyro,” salads and wraps, with outdoor lanai. Kihei Kalama Village Center, 875-7679. $ Roy’s Bar & Grill - Mouth-watering Hawaiian fusion entrees in a spacious and upbeat atmosphere. Open nightly from 5:30 to 10 p.m. Fine dining, reservations recommended. Pi’ilani Shopping Center, 303 Pi’ikea Ave., Kihei, 8911120. $$$ Sarento’s on the Beach - Contemporary dining near the water’s edge. Italian cuisine, very romantic. Private VIP table available. 2980 S. Kihei Rd., 875-7555. $$$ Shabu Shabu Toji - Healthy and delicious Japanese style fondue. Beef, pork or seafood, and veggies. Open for lunch Wed-Fri; dinner 5:309:30 p.m. nightly. 1280 S. Kihei Rd., 875-8366. $ Spices - Steak, seafood and more! Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8860. $$$ South Shore Tiki Lounge - Killer burgers, sausage sandwiches, mai-tais and pizza.

Awesome outdoor seating on the Aloha Jungle Lanai. Open 11 a.m.-2 a.m., serving food 'till midnight! Kihei Kalama Village, 874-6444. $ Sunset Mixed Grill - Local, Japanese and Chinese cuisine, along with some Korean dishes.

Entrees come with two side dishes. Open 10 a.m.-9 p.m. BYOB. 2395 S. Kihei Rd. 891-1991. $

Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Cafe - Relaxed island luxury in ambience and cuisine, with ocean views and live music. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983. $$ Vietnamese Cuisine - Hawaiian Opakapaka filet, soft shell crab, New York steak. Open 10:30 a.m.-9:30 p.m. Azeka Place I, Kihei, 875-2088. $$

UPCOUNTRY Anthony’s Coffee Company - A full espresso bar, hot and cold sandwiches, ice cream. Make sure to stop in for a great box lunch to go! 90 Hana Hwy., Paia, 5798340. $ Café 808 - Local diner-style serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Open daily from 6 a.m. to 8 p.m. 4566 Lower Kula Rd., Kula, 878-6874. $ Café Des Amis - Charming cafe with delicious sweet and savory crepes and Mediterranean fare. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-6323. $ Cakewalk Paia Bakery - High quality baked goods, sandwiches and specialty cakes. 100 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8770. $ Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon - Hankering for some grub? Charley’s serves it hearty and healthy from breakfast to dinner and beyond. 142 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-9453. $ K Fresh Mint - Vietnamese vegetarian cuisine including Summer Rolls, Spicy Lemongrass Soup and Soy Fish in Clay Pot. Open daily 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. Catering and take-out available. 115 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9144. $ Hana Hou Cafe - Hawaiian homestyle cooking with aloha-filled ambience and local musicians. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 575-2661. $ Jacque’s Northshore Bistro - Tropical yet festive atmosphere, with a sushi bar, indoor and lanai dining.

120 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-8844. $$ Kimura Saimin Shop - Casual atmosphere, simple, affordable menu with fresh ingredients done right! 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 575-5228. $ Kula Lodge & Restaurant - Upcountry’s familystyle restaurant with sweeping views of the island.

Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Haleakala Highway, 878-1535. $ Livewire Cafe - Gourmet desserts, coffee drinks, smoothies. Open 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. Sun thru Thu; 6 a.m. to midnight Fri and Sat. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-6009. $ Makawao Steak House - Classic and comfortable menu with daily fish preparations and salad bar. 3612 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572-8711. $$ Maui’s Best Tamales & Local Food - Authentic, fresh and tasty Mexican cuisine along with local favorites. 81 Makawao Ave., Pukalani Square, 5732998. $ Moana Bakery & Cafe - Pacific Rim dining for vegetarians and meat eaters. Bakery provides wonderful goodies for the sweet tooth. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999. $ Pauwela Cafe & Bakery - Healthy, low-fat deli cuisine and daily fresh baked goods. Open 7 a.m.-2:30 p.m. 375 W. Kuiaha Rd., Haiku, 575-9242. $ Veg Out - Vegan and vegetarian food, from Mexican, Italian and Far East influences. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-5320. $

DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

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’

$ $10-$20

$$ $20-$40

WEST MAUI Alexander’s Fish & Chips - Seafood, chicken, ribs, deep-fried tempura style or grilled.

Great food, great prices. 840 Wainee St., Lahaina Square, 667-9009. $ Athens Greek Restaurant - Affordable and authentic gyros, shish kebab, falafel and more.

Ya’Sou! Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-4300. $ Ba-Le - French Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Wide variety of tapioca. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-5566. $ Banyan Tree - “Eclectic Pacific cuisine with a Hawaiian twist.” Lodge atmosphere, ocean views. Ritz Carlton Kapalua, 669-6200. $$$ BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Deep-dish specialty pizzas and homemade Pizookies with live music nightly. Overlooking Lahaina Town with ocean view. 730 Front St., 661-0700. $ Breakwall Cafe - Serving breakfast, coffee, sandwiches, salads, smoothies. Open everyday 7 a.m.-2 p.m. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-7220. $ Cafe O’Lei - Oceanfront dining featuring light and healthy yet hearty gourmet lunch and dinner. Delicious salads and focaccia sandwiches.

839 Front St., Lahaina, 661-9491. $$ Canoes - Casual yet elegant dining serving Polynesian style steaks, and seafood. Lunch 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m., dinner 5-9 p.m. 1450 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0937. $$ Castaway Cafe - Beachside, serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Soups, salads, pasta.

Maui Kaanapali Villas & Resort, 661-9091. $ Chez Paul Restaurant - Fine dining French cuisine, open for dinner only. Romantic setting.

Call for reservations. 820 Olowalu Rd., Olowalu, 661-3843. $$$ K CJ’s Deli & Diner - Reasonably priced comfort foods like Reuben sandwiches, pot roast, freshly baked pies and more. Open daily. 2580 Keka’a Dr., Fairway Shops, Ka’anapali, 667-0968. $ Comercial Mexicana Store - Authentic Mexican food, tamales, enchiladas, tacos, soups, rice and beans Open everyday 10 a.m.-9 p.m. 840 Wainee St., Lahaina, 661-6193. $ Cool Cat Cafe - 1950s-style dinner. Delicious burgers and sandwiches, huge salads and fountain desserts. Food served 11 a.m. to 10 p.m.

Wharf Cinema, Lahaina, 667-0908. $ K David Paul’s Lahaina Grill - Fine Pacific Rim cuisine in the intimate dining room on the ground floor of the Lahaina Inn. 127 Lahainaluna, Lahaina, 667-5117. $$$ K Feast At Lele - A royal tour of the cuisine of Polynesia sharing the spotlight with music and dance from four Pacific Islands. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-5353. $$$ Gaby’s Pizzeria - Casual Italian dining with pizza and pasta from $6-$25. Open 11 a.m. to 12 a.m. daily. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8112. $ Gerard’s - Fine French dining in downtown Lahaina. Rich, flavorful yet light foods await your taste buds. 174 Lahainaluna, Lahaina, 661-8939. $$$

’

’

$$$ $40 and up

K Kama’aina Discount

Hard Rock Cafe - Good American food at decent prices amongst rock ‘n roll memorabilia. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7400. $ Hecocks - Italian restaurant and cocktail lounge oceanside. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8810. $$ K Hula Grill - Barefoot bar and beachside dining, 1940s-style. Menu is a seafood lover’s delight.

Whaler’s Village, Ka’anapali, 667-6636. $$ Island Taco - The best soft shell tacos ever! Beef, fish, pork or chicken, served with black beans, fresh cabbage, cheese, onions and jalapenos. Open very late night, next to Paradice Bluz. 744 Luakini St., Lahaina. $ Jonny’s Burger Joint - Great burgers, as well as Mexican food, salads and fried items, served until midnight, with bar and pool table. 2395 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Ka’anapali, 661-4500. $ Kimo’s - Fresh fish, prime rib and their famous Hula Pie, oceanside dining. Live entertainment daily. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811. $$ Lahaina Coolers - Off the beaten path surf bistro.

Good food, good quality, late night menu. 180 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661-7082. $ Leilani’s On The Beach - Relaxed beachfront dining, specializing in fresh seafood and Pacific Rim cuisine. 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy., 661-4495. $$ Longhi’s - Elegant fine dining, freshest ingredients, pasta, seafood and steaks. 888 Front St., Lahaina, 667-2288. $$$ Mama’s Ribs & Rotisserie - Serving ribs and roasted chicken, BBQ baked beans, coleslaw and macaroni salad. Napili Plaza, 665-6262. $ Maui Tacos - Featuring tacos and burritos with chargrilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in pineapple, lime juices and spices from the islands. Lahaina Square, 661-8883; Napili Square, 665-0222. $ Moose McGillycuddy’s - Great value, large

Dollar amounts are based on dinner for two, not including beverages, tax & tip.

portions, all-you-can-eat specials, merry atmosphere and a large bar. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7758. $ Nachos Grande - Fresh Mexican food, fast.

Vegetarian, too. Honokowai Marketplace, 662-0890. $ Okazuya Deli - Quality Japanese plate lunch. The best lemon caper mahi mahi and Okinawan potato tempura ever! Open 10 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. and 4:30 to 9 p.m. 3600 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Honokowai, 665-0512. $ Outback Steak House - Quality steaks, shrimp-on-thebarbie, and the Bloomin’ Onion in a casual and lively atmosphere. Open 4-10 p.m. nightly. 4405 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Kahana, 665-1822. $$ Penne Pasta - Mark Ellman’s inexpensive Italian bistro with homestyle pasta, pizza and salads. 180 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661-6633. $ Pioneer Inn - Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily, with live entertainment nightly. 659 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636. $ Pizza Paradiso - Award-winning pasta dishes, tossto-order salads, big fat Greek gyros, homemade tiramisu and panna cotta. Honokowai Marketplace, 667-2929. $ Quizno’s Subs - Toasted subs, 100% dairy-made ingredients. Open Mon-Sat, 11 a.m.-9 p.m., Sun, 12-8 p.m. 170 Papalaua Street, Lahaina Mall, 667-5111. $ Ramon’s Cantina - Traditional Mexican food. Happy hour 2-6 p.m. and 10 p.m. to close with $2 tacos and

half-off appetizers. Serving breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Open 8 a.m.-2 .a.m. 658 Front St., Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0845.

Rusty Harpoon Restaurant & Tavern - Quench thirst, satiate hunger and watch sports. Large parties welcome. Whalers Village, Ka’anapali, 661-3123. $$ Sansei Seafood Restaurant & Sushi Bar - D.K. Kodama has combined the highest quality sushi bar infused with Hawai’i’s cultural flavors. 115 Bay Dr., Kapalua, 669-6286. $$ K Smoke House - Delicious barbeque, ribs, chicken, sandwiches and hamburgers, along with a full bar. Open 11:30 a.m.-10 p.m. 927 Wainee St., Lahaina, 667-7005. $ Sports Club Kahana Grill - Upscale, healthy restaurant inside Sports Club Kahana. Breakfast, lunch and takeout. 4327 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Rd., Kahana, 669-3539. $$ Swan Court - One of the top 10 romantic restaurants in the world, with an extensive list of contemporary fine wines. Hyatt Regency, Ka’anapali, 667-4727. $$$ Thai Chef - Thai food like you’ve never had it, with curry, Pad Thai, summer rolls and more. Old Lahaina Center, 667-2814. $ Vino - Comfort and contemporary cuisine featuring fresh pasta and an extensive wine list. Open for dinner nightly from 5:30 p.m. Village Course Clubhouse, Kapalua, 661-8466. $$$

Best Breakfast in Town from 7am

Ashley’s Cafe 362 Hukulii Pl., Kihei (Behind Tesoro Gas Station on Piilani Hwy.)

874-8600

Not to be used with any other coupons or discounts. Coupon has no cash value.

Coupon expires 7-31-05

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T S E T !

E V I R D

B-series n2.3L DOHC 16-VALVE 4-CYLINDER ENGINE n5-SPEED MANUAL TRANSMISSION nANTI-LOCK BRAKE SYSTEM (ABS) nBLACK BUMPERS AND GRILLE n15-INCH STEEL WHEELS n60/40 SPLIT BENCH FRONT SEAT

nAM/FM STEREO n2ND GENERATION DUAL FRONT AIRBAGS nPASSENGER-SIDE AIR-BAG DEACTIVATION SWITCH nTRAILER TOW WIRING HARNESS n4 YEAR 50,000 MILE BUMP-TO-BUMPER FACTORY WARRANTY

We Do Credit

MAGIC!

Come visit our completely renovated facilities and the only air conditioned service center in Hawaii at 25 S. Kahului Beach Road

“The Coolest Little Corner in Kahului”

442-9600 25 S. Kahului Beach Rd. 18

JULY 14, 2005

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Mini Pick of the Week!

Saturday, 11 p.m. at Hapa’s Nightclub in Kihei [MUSIC] It’s a KISS tribute band, performed by little people. Need I say more? [SAMANTHA CAMPOS]

SEND YOUR LISTINGS & PHOTOS FOR DA KINE CALENDAR TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM OR FAX (808) 661-0446 LETTERS

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ThIS WEEK’S PICKS

by Samantha Campos

All Things Aquatic Thursday through Saturday at Maui Community College [MARINE SCIENCE FAIR] Nana I Ke Kumu Nana I Ke Kai (“Look to the Source, Look to the Sea”) is this year’s theme of the National Marine Educators Association (NMEA) Annual Conference in Kahului. It’s a chance for anyone—but especially teachers—to learn more about marine education from hundreds of educators and scientists flying in from around the country. MCC will host more then 200 concurrent presentations at during the afternoons of July 14, 15 and 16.

Like working with your hands? Then join one of the many hands-on workshops, demonstrations of classroom activities and sharing of helpful educational resources. Topics covered include getting energy from the ocean, sharks, biotechnology, pharmacology, plate tectonics and a lot of other cool stuff.

This is such a unique opportunity for Maui teachers that they actually get to attend all three days of presentations for free.

So, if you’re a teacher, you better go! For the rest of you, there are also going to be Marine Science Symposiums, July 13, 14 and 15 from 9 a.m. to noon at the MACC’s Castle Theater.

Topics there include wild stuff like “Cutting Edge Technologies” (July 13), “Conservation and Sustainability” (July 14) and the mind-bending “Multidimensional Marine Science Culture and the Arts” (July 15). For more information, check out www.hawaii.edu/maui/oceania/NMEA05.html.

[LINDA GAMPERT]

THURSDAY

‰‰‰‰‰FRIDAY ‰‰‰‰‰SATURDAY ‰‰‰‰‰SUN

Seafood Restaurant & Sushi Bar Late Night Specials 10pm to 1am – 21 & over with I.D.

50% OFF SUSHI & APPETIZERS FREE KARAOKE - DRAFT BEER SPECIALS

KIHEI, THURSDAY - SATURDAY KAPALUA, THURSDAY & FRIDAY

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL 5:30pm to 6:00pm DAILY

Kapalua 669-6286 The Shops at Kapalua

Kihei 879-0004 Near Foodland

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JULY 14, 2005

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Tibetan Memories Saturday, 5 p.m. at Maui Booksellers in Wailuku

Owlriffic!

[BOOK SIGNING] Brandon Wilson is back on Maui promoting his award-winning book Yak Butter Blues: A Tibetan Trek of Faith. The book has already won the IPPY award. The book is a travel journal of Brandon Wilson who, with his wife Cheryl, hiked 650 miles from Lhasa, Tibet into Kathmandu, Nepal. Brandon and Cheryl Wilson were the first Western couple to complete the ancient trek that is now forbidden to Tibetans.

Traveling across the Himalayan plains, the couple encountered inhospitable weather, hunger and even gunshots from bandits. The story is interlaced with memories of kindness and the help the couple received along the way. It’s said to be an “intimate glimpse into the lives of their hosts, the generous Tibetan people.”

Maui Booksellers will be hosting the book signing and an accompanying Powerpoint presentation of the pictures taken during this nearly impossible journey. After the presentation Brandon will sign copies of his books and chat with guests.

This inspiring story is sure to captivate and motivate any would-be adventurer. If for no other reason, read this book so that when you’re old and senile and can’t distinguish between what you merely imagined from what you actually accomplished, you’ll be able to look back and fondly remember your harrowing trek across the Himalayas. Ask yourself, “Can I afford not to live vicariously through this book?” Maui Booksellers is located at 105 N. Market St. in Wailuku. I seriously doubt it. You can preview pictures and a sample book chapter at www.PilgramsTales.com. [GABRIELLE POCCIA]

DAY

Saturday, 7:30 p.m. at the Hosmer Grove Campground [HIKE] Gotta love a hike titled “Owls!

Owls, night-stalkers and more!” This is a hardcore night hike through Hosmer Grove in search of the deadly and elusive owl. Okay, so owls are only deadly to small rodents. But rodents have lives and loves and fears just like you and me. To them, owls are terrifying and creepy. Now wildlife researchers have seen Short Eared Owls—named because they, well, have short ears— and even a dreaded Barn Owl or two in and around the grove. Keep in mind that these owls see really, really well in the dark, and have been known to spear mice with its long claws even in nearly complete darkness. The hike is free, but it costs $10 to get a seven-day pass into the national park. For more information, call 572-4459. [ANTHONY PIGNATARO]

‰‰‰‰‰MONDAY ‰‰‰‰‰TUESDAY ‰‰‰‰‰WEDNESDAY

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Wild Wahine Wednesday with dj blast

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COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 14, 2005

21

FILMCRITIQUE

BY COLE SMITHEY

Weddings with Wolves Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson can’t dance around a dud the beginning of the movie when the audience is Vince Vaughn commits rampant acts of subjected to a wedding crashing montage, punccomic zeal while the script around him tuated by plenty of gratuitous bare breasts, that crumbles in a movie that loses its thrust promises character-contextualized nudity later in like a cat caught in traffic. Jeremy Grey the movie that never arrives. Fast-forward mon(Vaughn) and John Beckwith (Owen tages have become the dominion of novice screenWilson) are a couple of enduring bachelors writers attempting to add momentum where wellwho live for the spring and summer wedtimed comic set pieces ding season to hone would go farther toward their cocksmen garnering laughs. skills with unsusMel Brooks never pecting bridesadded quick-cut monmaids. The movie Rated R/119 mins. tages to comic masterworks best when its pieces like Blazing Saddles or Young comic set pieces turn embarrassingly blue Frankenstein because he was confident in his amidst social surroundings like in churches material. But here the filmmakers present a conor at a prominent family’s dinner table. densed music video commercial that acts as a Too bad first time screenwriters Steve movie within the movie. Unfortunately, Wedding Faber and Bob Fisher lose track of worthy Crashers doesn’t even live up to its montage. secondary characters while extending extraAfter its spate of fast-forward exposition the neous narrative threads toward anticlimaxstory officially kicks in with our perverse heroes es. Will Ferrell makes an irritating appearpassing themselves off as venture capitalist sons ance as a sex hound named Chaz Reinhold of a mysterious Uncle Ned at a wedding conwho picks up women at funerals during the nected to political heavyweight Secretary Cleary movie’s least inspired subplot addition.

(Christopher Walken). The boys continuously The film’s director David Dobkin has a recite numbered rules from a memorized wedworking history with Vince Vaughn and ding crasher’s handbook as John catches the Owen Wilson from his first two movies forbidden love bug for the secretary’s daughter Clay Pigeons (with Vaughn) and Claire (Rachel Adams—The Notebook).

Shanghai Nights (starring Wilson). As Meanwhile, Jeremy is well on his way to such, Wedding Crashers benefits from a deflowering the secretary’s demented daughjovial atmosphere of apparent comraderie ter Gloria (well played by scene-stealer Isla that allows for some truly funny moments Fisher—I Heart Huckabees). Gloria proudly to transpire between the ever-irreverent announces to Jeremy that he’s seized her virVaughn, as the joke teller, and Wilson, as ginity before proclaiming her undying love. the obligatory straight man.

Jeremy attempts to bolt from the glomming But script problems manifest quickly in

HHHHH Wedding Crashers

Rule #10: Invites are for losers

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JULY 14, 2005

FILM

mistress but gets waylaid by John’s impetuous decision to pursue Claire in spite of her everpresent obnoxious boyfriend Sack (Bradley Cooper—Changing Lanes). John ill advisedly accepts an invitation from Gloria for the boys to spend a weekend at her father’s palatial estate in the Hamptons and the movie finally seems situated to carouse in the pressure cooker of comedy that’s been promised.

But the movie takes divergent paths after the group arrive at the Cleary mansion. John succumbs to sentimental romance with Claire while Vince Vaughn’s Jeremy is left to struggle with homosexual overtures from the family’s eccentric son Todd (Keir O’Donnell) when he’s not being physically attacked by Sack or publicly groped by Gloria. John does endure minor sexual abuse from Secretary Cleary’s disloyal wife Kathleen (Jane Seymour) who demands tactile admiration of her recent boob job before turning on her heel in disgust.

The screenwriters are smart enough to create a climate of clashing outlandish characters but too inexperienced to know how to write scenes to coerce their inherent comic potential to a boil. Marx Brothers movies sent audiences into giggling fits by taking the same type of culture clash situations and pitting characters directly against one another in layered activity.

In the Cleary house there’s only ever one or two things going on at any given time. Once the boys are prematurely evicted from the estate, the movie spirals through multiple false endings that pale with each progression. Wedding Crashers isn’t such an awful comedy as long as you leave after the first 70 minutes. MTW

SHOWTIMES

MOVIECAPSULES MAUI FILM FESTIVAL’S CANDLELIGHT CINEMA Wednesday July 20

just that much creepier? Jennifer Connelly stars as the mom in this psychological thriller. She and her daughter move into a new place that seems to be in need of repair. There’s a ceiling leek that drips dark water from the uninhibited apartment from above. 103 min.

BEAUTIFUL BOXER

FANTASTIC FOUR - (PG13) - Action, Sci-Fi - Let’s just be honest. Jessica Alba is smoking hot and the fact that this movie received a PG13 rating for “some suggestive content” is enough to pack the aisles with horny little bastards old and young. The story line is that four astronauts are changed by cosmic rays while in space and attain super powers. One is stretchy and flexible, another can go invisible, another can light up like human fire, and one is ridiculously strong. That makes them The Fantastic Four. Get it? ‘Cause there’s four of them! 123 min.

5 & 7:30 P.M., CASTLE THEATER Here’s irony for you: a young Thai boy wants nothing more than to be female, so he takes the most obvious approach and becomes a kickboxer. This may sound odd, as you don’t generally associate kickboxing with effeminate transsexuals, but to each his or her own. Anyway, the story is based on a real guy who went through this named Parinya Charoenphol. The movie includes a cast of professional Thai and Japanese kickboxers and some dramatic fighting footage. It also promises breathtaking scenery, shot in nine provinces throughout Thailand and Tokyo. At the very least, it’s gotta be a trip to watch all this woven together. In English and Thai with English subtitles. Unrated. 108 min.

New This Week CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY - (PG) - Family/Musical/Fantasy - This Tim Burton adaptation of Roald Dahl’s rather dark and brutal children’s book stars Johnny Depp as famed chocolate magnate Willy Wonka. Yes, I know Depp and Burton do great work. And that Helena Bonham Carter also appears. But come on! Must Hollywood remake every film? Gene Wilder played the definitive Willy Wonka back in 1971! Give me a break!. 106 min.

WEDDING CRASHERS - (R) - Comedy - Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn play a couple divorce counselors who cruise weddings looking to score with chicks. But then one of them—does it really matter which?—actually falls in love with the daughter of some strange politician played by Christopher Walken. Then all hell breaks loose.

Now Showing BATMAN BEGINS - (PG13) - Action/Adventure, Crime/Gangster - It’s about time a movie explains the emergence of the Dark Knight into a do-gooder for Gotham City! After his parents are murdered, Bruce Wayne fights injustice in the world, returning to Gotham city as Batman. He uses his strength and intelligence to fight off bad guys. Christian Bale plays Batman in yet another installment but this time they got Batman right, including his infamous skintight leather suit. Val Kilmer was a sure-miss as Batman, and George Clooney was too Chanel-looking for the role of this tough, dark hero.

BEWITCHED - (PG13) - Comedy, Romance and Fantasy - Instead of simply making the 1970s TV sitcom Bewitched into a movie, filmmaker Nora Ephron made a movie about making a the 1970s TV sitcom Bewitched into a movie. Except the actress they get to reprise Elizabeth Montgomery’s Samantha (Nicole Kidman) is actually a witch! Not Nicole Kidman—the actress portrayed by Kidman. That’s hot! Maybe. Also stars Will Farrell as the guy who plays the Darrin role.

CINDERELLA MAN - (PG13) - Drama - Set in New York during the Great Depression era, this tells the true story of heavyweight champion James Braddock’s (Russell Crowe) rise to stardom. There aren’t any glass slippers or magic pumpkins in this film but there’s a lot of drama, as Braddock struggles to overcome poverty and provide for his wife (Renee Zellweger) through boxing. Directed by Ron Howard, it’s nice to see Crowe back in some Gladiator-type action in this over two-hour long flick. Scary fact: Ben Affleck was going to play the role of Braddock back in 2000, so let’s all breathe a sigh of relief that he didn’t!

DARK WATER - (PG13) - Thriller - Did you see The Ring? Did you know that it was based on the Japanese movie Ringu? I watched both and frankly, I liked the Japanese version better. I felt like it made more sense. Anyway, this movie is based on another movie by the same people that made Ringu and it should be just as disturbing.

What is it about little kids that make scary movies

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

MAUI FILM FESTIVAL Castle Theater, 572-3456 Beautiful Boxer - Unrated - Wed 5, 7:30

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Showtimes) = Matinee Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - PG - Fr, M-W (11, 11:30, 12, 12:30, 1:40, 2:10, 2:40, 3:10, 4:20, 4:50, 5:20) 6:30, 7, 7:30, 8, 9:10, 9:40, Sa-Su (11, 11:30, 12, 12:30, 1:40, 2:10, 2:40, 3:10) 4:20, 4:50, 5:20, 6:30, 7, 7:30, 8, 9:10, 9:40 Cinderella Man - PG13 - Th (1:30, 4:45) 7:55, Fr, M-W (11:10, 2:15, 5:15), 8:20, Sa-Su (11:10, 2:15), 5:15, 8:20 Dark Water - PG13 - Th (1:15, 1:45, 3:50, 4:15), 6:50, 7:15, 9:30, 9:50, M-W (11, 11:20, 1:30, 1:50, 4, 4:30), 6:40, 7:10, 9:20, 9:45, Sa-Su (11, 11:20, 1:30, 1:50), 4, 4:30, 6:40, 7:10, 9:20, 9:45

GEORGE A. ROMERO'S LAND OF THE DEAD (R) - Action/Adventure and Suspense/Horror - An uprising of the dead in the barren wasteland surrounding a tenuously enclosed civilization? Oh, sure. But really, this is just a classic tale of greed, corruption, zombies and really, really bad decisions. Much like what went on in Ohio last September. Stars Dennis Hopper, Asia Argento and John Leguizamo.

HERBIE: FULLY LOADED - (G) - Comedy - “Fully Loaded?” That’s what I’ll have to be in order to watch this flick. A comedy/action/adventure/kids/family/Walt Disney movie rated G (no way!), this movie stars Lindsay Lohan, Justin Long, Michael Keaton, Matt Dillon, Brecklen Meyer, Cheryl Hines, Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson. That’s a pretty solid line-up. I loved Justin Long in Dodgeball and Michael Keaton is one of my all time faves. But, honestly, one-and-a-half hours of Lindsay Lohan being all cute, driving a self-minded Volkswagon bug in Nascar is more than l can stomach.

I’m sure children will enjoy it. But for those of us who saw the original, what’s the point?, let’s all breathe a sign of relief that he didn’t!

THE HONEYMOONERS - (PG13) - Comedy - Ralph Kramden and his wife Alice struggle with money despite Ralph’s attempts at get-rich-quick schemes and a motivational speaker tape series. They have some money saved up, so they decide they want to buy a Brooklyn duplex with their best friends, Ed and Trixie.

But whoops, Ralph manages to lose their saved-up money when he mixes it up with another one of his money-making schemes. Why couldn’t he have left the money alone!? Now he’s lost their money and Alice as well. Ralph is going to fight hard to get his marriage and money back. Hmm... maybe sell more tapes?

THE LONGEST YARD - (PG13) - Comedy - This remake of the 1974 Burt Reynolds classic stars Adam Sandler and, um, Reynolds again as current and former football star, respectively, who wind up in stir together. They end up putting a team together to play the guards and hilarity ensues. At least, it did back in ’74.

Also stars Chris Rock.

MADAGASCAR - (PG) - Comedy, Kids/Family and Animation - Ah! Finally a movie with stars we can respect: a lion, a zebra, a giraffe and a pregnant hippo (voiced by Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, David Schwimmer and Jada Pinkett-Smith, respectively). See, the animals were all “residents” of the zoo but when one of them disappears, the other three go looking for him and all four end up getting captured, put in boxes and shipped back to Africa. Only, something happens with the ship and the four wash up on the shores of Madagascar, having to fend for themselves after being “cared for” by humans all their lives. Yeah, I know, it sounds fishy to me, too, but that’s just half of it! Also stars (the voice of) Cedric the Entertainer.

Longest Yard - PG13 - Th (1:50, 4:40), 7:20, 9:55, Fr, M-W (11:25, 1:55, 4:25) 7:05, 9:50, Sa-Su (11:25, 1:55), 4:25, 7:05, 9:50 Madagascar - PG - Th (1, 3:10, 5:20), 7:30, 9:40, Fr, M-W (11:20, 1:25, 3:30, 5:30), 7:35, 9:35, Sa-Su (11:20, 1:25, 3:30), 5:30, 7:35, 9:35 Mr. & Mrs. Smith - PG13 - Th (1:10, 1:40, 4, 4:20), 6:40, 7, 9:20, 9:45, Fr, M-W (11:15, 2, 4:40), 7:20, 10, Sa-Su (11:15, 2), 4:40, 7:20, 10

A chocolate-covered Johnny? Yumm... school world. Though painfully predictable, the movie features some of my favorite comedians, specifically Megan Mullally (Will & Grace). It’s also got Breckin Meyer (Garfield), Wendy Raquel Robinson (Miss Congeniality) and Horatio Sanz (Saturday Night Live). It should be good for a few laughs and there won’t be much thinking necessary.

A&E

FILM

KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, 875-4910 Batman Begins - PG13 - Daily (1), 4:15, 7:15, 10:10

WAR OF THE WORLDS - (PG13) - Science Fiction/Fantasy - Here’s another end-of-the world, everyone is going to die action movie featuring Tom Cruise. This one is based on the classic H.G. Well’s novel that tells about the battle for humankind’s future.

Cruise plays Ray Ferrier, a working class dude who lives in New Jersey, just trying to support his children.

His life is shaken when aliens arrive to destroy Earth and he is forced to protect his children. People are so obsessed with the little green guys invading our planet, what about the people who already live here destroying it!?

Batman Begins PG-13 - Th (1), 4:15, 7:05, 9:50

Bewitched - PG13 - Daily (12:45, 3), 5:15, 7:30, 9:45 Fantastic Four - PG13 - Daily (12:15, 2:45), 5:10, 7:40, 10:05 Herbie: Fully Loaded - G - Daily (12:25, 2:45), 5, 7:20, 9:35 War of the Worlds - PG13 - Th (11:55, 1, 2:25), 4, 5, 7, 7:35, 9:45, 10:10, Fr-W (1), 4:45, 7:25, 10 Wedding Crashers - R - Fr-W (11:55, 2:25), 5, 7:35, 10:10

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 875-4910 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory- PG - Fr-W (1:15) 4:15, 7:15, 9:45 Dark Water - PG13 - Th (1:30), 4:45, 8, 10:20, Fr-W (1:45), 4:45, 7:05, 9:50 Fantastic Four - PG13 - Th (1:45), 5, 7:45, 10:05, Fr-W (1) 5, 7:45, 10:05 War of the Worlds - PG13 - Th (1:15), 4:30, 7:30, 10, Fr-W (1:30) 4:30, 7:30, 10

FRONT STREET THEATRE 900 Front Street, 249-2222 Bewitched - PG13 - Th (4:45), 7:45, 10, Sa-Su (1:45), 4:45, 7:25, 9:55, Fr, M-W (4:45) 7:25, 9:55

8*

$

Charley and the Chocolate Factory - PG - Sa-Su (1), 4, 7, 9:45, Fr, M-W (4), 7, 9:45 Fantastic Four - PG13 - Th (4), 7, 9:40, Sa-Sun (1:30), 4:30, 7:10, 9:35, Fr, M-W (4:30) 7:10, 9:35 Mr. & Mrs. Smith - PG13 - Th (4:15), 7:15, 9:55, SaSu (1:15), 4:15, 7:15, 10, Fr, M-W (4:15), 7:15, 10

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front Street, 249-2222 Batman Begins PG-13 - Th (12:15, 3:30), 6:45, 9:50 Dark Water - PG13 - Th (1, 4), 7, 9:30, Sa-Sun (11, 1:45), 4:30, 7:30, 10:10, Fr-W (1:45, 4:30) 7:30, 10:10

REBOUND - (PG) - Comedy - Martin Lawrence (Bad Boys, Big Mama’s House) stars in this new feel-good flick that’s rated PG. How wholesome of him.

Lawrence plays a college basketball coach, who apparently is good as a coach, yet somewhat lacking as a human being. He’s kicked out of the college coaching scene and finds himself bannished to the middle

DAY&NIGHT

Star Wars Episode III - PG13 - Th (2, 5), 8, Fr, MW (11:05, 2:05, 5:10), 8:10, Sa-Su (11:05, 2:05), 5:10, 8:10

STAR WARS: EPISODE III – REVENGE OF THE SITH - (PG-13) - Action/Adventure, Science Fiction/Fantasy - The furry and lovable Chewbacca makes his anticipated return to the big screen in the last installment (really!) of the Star Wars trilogy. Get ready to witness the transformation of young Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) into the evil and deep-voiced man in black, Darth Vader (because, let’s face it, without the voice he would not be cool). The rest of the gang is ready for some action as well, including the bearded Obi-Wan Kenobi (sexy Scottish Ewan McGregor, mmm...), the Senator Padme Amidala and her insane hair (Natalie Portman) and best of all, Yoda! People go crazy for that little green guy, agreed?… Too bad we all know how this trilogy ends.

MR. & MRS SMITH - (PG13) - Action/Adventure, Romance, Thriller - Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie star in this movie that brings domestic abuse to the big screen. Secret assassins they are and now their next targets are each other! Mr. and Mrs. Smith chase each other around with guns, shout out some cheesy lines and then fire off another round. If they loved each other they could just call it quits but this is one messed up case of “I do.” People will go to this movie to see the hotness of Angelina and Brad or maybe for some reassurance in their marriage?

DINING

Rebound - PG - Th (1, 1:20, 3:15, 3:30, 5:25, 5:40), 7:35, 7:50, 9:45, 10, Fr, M-W (11:15, 1:20, 3:25, 5:25) 7:25, 9:30, Sa-Su (11:15, 1:20, 3:25), 5:25, 7:25, 7:25, 9:30

WED., JULY 20 *with MFF passport (5 films-$40)-single tickets Phone: 572-3456 www.mauifilmfestival.com

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

War of the Worlds - PG13 - Th (2, 4:45), 7:30, 10:15, Sa-Sun (10:45, 1:30), 4:15, 7:15, 10, Fr-W (1:30, 4:15), 7:15, 10 Wedding Crashers - R - Sa-Sun (10:30, 11:15), 4, 7, 9:45, Fr-W (1:15, 4) 7, 9:45

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 14, 2005

23

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JULY 14, 2005

DAY&NIGHT

ARTS&ENTERTAINMENT

BY HEIDI KING

A Night at the Theater Watching Pump Boys and Dinettes I’m always excited to go to the theater.

Doesn’t matter whether I see a movie or a play—I love sitting in front of the stage. If that makes me a theater snob, so be it. I also have a touch of Attention Deficit Disorder; I require real and substantial entertainment to keep me in my seat for more than an hour.

I spent more than that time sitting very satisfied at the Iao Theater last week. I was there to see Pump Boys and Dinettes, the new Maui OnStage musical that plays through July 31. Always the early bird, I arrived no less than 45 minutes before the scheduled start. As I went through the entrance a sweet woman in a wispy blue dress—I later found out she was Maui OnStage Executive Director Darla Palmer—handed me a program and a little red raffle ticket.

you, I’m a stickler about these things—Palmer went on stage and introduced the play. I relaxed, and the crowd quieted down.

A group of four guys walked on stage. One began speaking to the audience while the rest tuned their instruments and got comfortable in their places. Jim (the character addressing the crowd, played by John Messersmith) explained that we needed to keep our raffle tickets for the chance to win a prize after the intermission. Then they burst into song as the two girls that run the Double Cupp Diner came out and joined the fellas.

The female characters are Rhetta and Prudie Cupp. Brenna Gerke, who plays Prudie, is a middle school teacher from Lahaina. Cat Hayes, playing Rhetta, sports quite a list of past professional performances. Now, the guys were great and I don’t want to take away from their zeal, but Gerke and Hayes blew me away.

Their crooning gave me chills. Hayes has an amazing voice and you can tell she’s comfortable onstage.

The boys make up a comic group. Jim is sort of the guide throughout the story. Eddie

(Dan Minichiello) is the strong, silent type at the drums. Jackson (Robbie Ray) is the group’s proclaimed “ladies man.” Last, but not least, is L.M. (Les Adam), who looks like a hippie but with The Fonz’s attitude.

There were plenty of toe-tapping songs, clever plays on words and a great dance routine by the ladies with lots of interaction from the crowd. The show was long—40 minutes before the intermission and another 30 to 40 after, but I never felt compelled to check my watch. MTW

Pump Boys and Dinettes Written by John Foley, Mark Hardwick, Debra Monk, Cass Morgan, John Schimmel and Jim Wann. Directed by Jim Hutchison.

Playing at the Iao Theater in Wailuku Friday and Saturday evenings, 7:30 p.m. and Sundays, 5 p.m., through July 31. For more information, call Maui OnStage at 244-8680.

After scanning the seating selection, I found my favorite spot vacant and grabbed it. Always the dork, I prefer to sit front and center. It makes perfect sense: not only was I up close, but the walkway was directly behind me, so no one could sit behind me and kick my seat. I told you, I’m a snob about the theater.

They had music playing as I sat down. I smiled as Johnny Cash came on singing, “I Walk The Line.” One side of the stage was decorated to look like a 1950s-style diner, complete with chrome stools sporting red and white vinyl seats. A garage band set up on the other side. All along the front of the stage were microphones, which promised lots of singing. At this point I was ready to give my full attention to the show, but since I had arrived so early I still had a good 20 minutes to kill.

To pass the time, I read the entire program, studying the backgrounds of the actors while I listened to the tunes.

Since I am such a theater snob, I know that nothing ever begins on time, but I always get frustrated if they go past my 10minute, “Okay maybe our clocks are just set different” grace period. At 7:32—told

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

I think these are the Dinettes

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 14, 2005

25

thursday

07/14

friday 07/15

saturday07/16 sunday07/17

monday07/18 – wednesday07/20

BADA BING

1945 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 875-0188

BAMBOO CHI

Kelly Covington $5, 8pm

Ray Charles Show w/Bobby Ingram, $5, 8pm

Neto Peraza, Latin Night $5, 8pm

Neto Peraza 7pm

BOCALINO

Kilohana No cover, 10pm

Neto Peraza, Latin, $5, 10pm

Ohana Groove $5, 10pm

DJ Shark In The Water No cover, 9pm

Dr. Nat & Rio Rimo $10, 9:30pm

Outer Breaks: DJs Little John & Gabriel, $7, 9:45pm

Planetary Bandits

Ladies Night

100 Wailea Ike Dr., Wailea - 879-4777

1279 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 874-9299

CAFE MARC AUREL

Gene Argel, Smooth Jazz, No cover, 7:30pm

28 N. Market St., Wailuku - 244-0852

CASANOVA

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S

Industry Night

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-9453

Dr.Nat Available for private events, parties & weddings

Solo/duets and with

Pacificaribe Jacque’s every Monday 7-10pm • No Cover (3-5 piece) playing Latin, Gypsy and Brazilian Jazz, Reggae, Contemporary Island Style or with Hot Tropical Latin/Brazilian dance band Rio Ritmo (6-9 piece) playing Salsa, Samba, Pop Latin also playing at Casanova July 15th

Call 572-9536 for booking orvisit website www.drnat.com

“NO PAIN...NO STAIN” OPEN 10 AM 7 DAYS TO A WEEK CLOSE

Thanks to all of those who voted Island Ink the “Best Tattoo Shop” on Maui for Two Years in a Row

100 HANA HWY. PAIA 579-9461 WWW.ISLANDINKTATTOO.COM

A TOM MOFFATT PRODUCTION

BERES Live in Concert!

ON SALE NOW !

WITH MARCIA GRIFFITHS

FRIDAY

JULY22ND6PM TICKETS AVAILABLE AT

MACC BOX OFFICE A&B AMPHITHEATER

26

JULY 14, 2005

MON - Mark Epstein & Friends, Blues & Jazz, No cover, 10pm; TUE - The New Project w/Jay Molina & Gilbert Emata, $5, 10pm; WED - Tom Cherry Band, $5, 10pm

808-242-SHOW

DA KINE CALENDAR

WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/DJ Blast, $5, 9:45pm No entertainment

MON - Kanoa & Friends; TUE - No entertainment; WED - Electro Night w/DJ Durty

DA KINECALENDAR BIG SHOWS MiniKiss - Friday-Saturday. Yes, this is for real. Joey, a.k.a. "Mini-Gene," a drummer and veteran in the "little person" entertainment industry, got his buddies together to form a tribute band. And who would’ve thought that dressing up as KISS for a Halloween party could get you a world tour?! Tickets: $17.50. Fri, 7 p.m., Pipeline Cafe, Oahu, 877-750-4400; Sat, 11 p.m., Hapa’s Nightclub, Kihei, 879-9001.

Hawaii Jaycees Summer Jam - Sunday. There are numerous community projects throughout the year. In appreciation for the support they receive from the community, this year’s concert features Round & Round and the Opihi Pickers. Free. 4 p.m, Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Reggae Legend Beres Hammond - WednesdaySaturday. Also featuring the Empress of Reggae, Marcia Griffiths, along with the sensational Jimmy Cozier. Beres is one of the most influential reggae artists around. A true superstar. Tickets: $25 in advance, $30 at door. Wed-Thu, 7:30 p.m., Kapono’s Aloha Tower Marketplace, Oahu, 808-537-9611; Fri, 6 p.m., A&B Amphitheater, MACC. 242-7469; Sun, 7:30 p.m., Uncle Mikey’s Hilo, 877-750-4400.

TICKETS ON SALE Na Mea Kani Hula: An Evening of Hula Kahiko - July 25. An Evening of Hula Kahiko, emphasizing the use of traditional hula implements. Tickets: $10. 6:30 p.m., A&B Amphitheater, MACC, 242SHOW. Pagan Pride - July 30. A Hawaiian chant concert, chants draw upon traditional stories and cultural practices, ranging from permission chants to healing chants, chants for nature and the elements, for legendary gods and ruling chiefs. Tickets: $38, $25, $10.

6:30 p.m., A&B Amphitheater, MACC, 242-7469.

Redman - Aug 4. You may recognize his name from MTV, along with his hip-hop partner, Method Man. But Redman is one of the most respected hip-hop artists today. He’s got five albums and several collaborations, including a Grammy nomination for best rap duo. And, of course, he’s an actor. Wonder when the new clothing line will come out? Local favorite Emirc will open the show. Tickets: General admission $35, Tiki Lounge $50. 9 p.m. Pipeline Cafe, Oahu, 808-589-1999.

Collective Soul - Sept 9. Oh, I remember these guys! They’re Georgia rockers, loaded with the kind of pop/rock hits that have kept them at the top of the Billboard charts over the past decade. From heartfelt ballad to raucous chorus, this band delivers infectious stand-out song selections and memorable hooks: “Gel,” “Shine,” “The World I Know.” A portion of the proceeds will benefit arts education. Tickets: $45, $40, $35. 7:30 pm, Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Loggins & Messina - Oct 9. Yes, that’s right. A reunion tour of Loggins & Messina, one of the most

popular and successful rock duos of the 1970s. Didn’t they sing “Whenever I Call You Friend?” Well, I do know they sing a song titled “Lahaina.” Hey, that’s cool. Tickets: $45, $55, $65. 7 p.m., A&B Amphitheater, MACC, 242-SHOW.

EVENTs FRIDAY, July 15 Midnight Magic Party - 9 p.m.-12 a.m. at Borders Books and Cafe, Kahului. Yes, Harry’s at it again.

Celebrate the new book Harry Potter and the HalfBlood Prince, with a party that will treat Potter followers to fun-filled activities, including face painting, mask-making, magic crafts, many free giveaways and of course, all things Harry Potter. For info, call 8776160.

SATURDAY, July 16

Local Author Brandon Wilson - 5 p.m. at Maui Booksellers, Wailuku. Brandon’s true story about a couple’s courageous quest for survival and personal enlightenment during their 650-mile trek across Tibet.

Free. For info, call 244-9091.

WEDNESDAY, July 20

Marketing Maui Nui 2006 - 8:30-11 a.m. at Sheraton Maui Resort Maui Ballroom. Visitor statistics will be presented to assist in creating a 2006 Business Plan. MVB will also unveil MVB's 2006 Advertising, Sales & Public Relations plans. For info, call 244-3530.

ART Lahaina Galleries Art Night - Fri, 6:30-9:30 p.m.

Front St., Lahaina. Featuring Ivan Clarke, the New Zealand master of light and color, and painter of the Hawai’i. Talk story and learn about his love for windsurfing and the natural beauty of the Hawaiian Islands..

Enjoy wine and pupus. Free. For info, call 661-6284.

Surf Moments - Sat, 8 p.m. at LiveWire Cafe, Lahaina. Artwork by Joe and Gianna. Live music by DJ Rainbow. $5. For info, call 661-4213.

KEIKI Summer Reading Program Finale Events - Thu, 6 p.m. at Wailuku Public Library. Fri, 10 a.m. at Kahului Public Library. A wrap up of the Summer Reading Program, with a party featuring Ruth Yamamura, Community Educator for the Maui Electric Company.

She will demonstrate “Cool Summer Snacks That Kids Can Make.” Free. For info, call 243-5766.

7th Annual Keiki Hula Festival - Sat, 11 a.m. at Lahaina Cannery Mall. Enjoy the graceful movements and enchanting smiles of Maui's keiki. Learn the timeless stories of hula, and feel the Aloha spirit come alive through Hawaiian song and dance. All this in a couple of hours—Wow! For info 661-5304.

Summer Nature Adventure Program - Sat, 8:30

thursday 07/14

friday07/15

saturday07/16 sunday07/17

COMPADRES BAR & GRILL

Salsa $5, 10pm

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-7189

MiniKiss, a KISS Tribute Band 11pm

HAPA’S NIGHTCLUB

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-9001

MON - Willie K, Live 104.7FM; TUE - Lucky Charm w/Fat Joe, 9pm; WED - Sin Night, 9pm

HARD ROCK CAFÉ

MON - Reggae At The Rock w/Marty Dread, $5, 10pm

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

Crunch Pups 9pm

DJs El Gato & Boomshot $5, 10pm

Live Local Artists No cover, 10pm

Rene Alonza w/Mike 6pm

Kenny Roberts 6pm

El Nino 6pm

Habanero Brothers No cover, 10pm

Thirsty Thursday w/DJ Jammin J, $6, 9pm

Ras Gabriel 4 Word, Reggae $7, 9pm

Lahaina Grown, $8, 9pm

Karaoke w/James No cover, 10pm

Colin John 9pm

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

JACQUES

120 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8844

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB 36 Keala Pl., Kihei - 875-7711

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

DA KINECALENDAR a.m.-2 p.m. at the Hawai’i Nature Center. Young Explorers ages five to seven, enroll now for Hawai’i Nature Center's week long summer program in Iao Valley. Our professional educators will lead in a variety of nature activities and crafts. Activities will include forest hikes, stream investigations, nature crafts, weather experiments, Hawaiian games. For info, call 244-6500.

Rainbow's End - Sat, 10 a.m.-12 p.m. at The Hawai’i Nature Center, Iao Valley Road. Sun and rain make a rainbow. Why, yes they do! Journey though the forest and Iao stream for colorful ideas in art. Keiki five and up are welcome. For info, call 244-6500, ext. 10

LECTURES National Marine Education Association Conference - Thu-Sat, 9 a.m.-12 p.m. at Castle Theater, MACC. Marine Science Symposiums on “Sustainability and Multidimensional Marine Science Culture and the Arts.” The main mission is to promote appreciation, understanding and protection of whales, dolphins, coral reefs and our planet's oceans. For info, call 242-7469.

Starting A Business - Fri, 11:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m.at Maui County Resource Center, Kahului. How do you know if your business concept is a good one? Get the basic model for analyzing the feasibility of a business with special focus on market research and economic analysis. Learn from David B. Fisher about resources to help take the next steps. Free. For info, call 8738247.

Dr. Wayne Dyer - Sun, 10:30 a.m. at Castle Theater, MACC. Internationally renowned author and speaker in the field of self-development, Dyer has written numerous bestselling books, created many audios, CDs and videos, and has appeared on thousands of TV and radio programs, including The Today Show, The Tonight Show, and The Oprah Winfrey Show. For info, call 242-9327.

Express Yourself - Wed, 7 p.m. at Café Marc Aurel in Wailuku. Music, song and poetry. Open Mic. Free.

For info, call 276-5467

POLITICAL Noam Chomsky: Distorted Morality - 7 p.m. at Maui Booksellers, Wailuku. Noam Chomsky offers an eye-opening critique of America's current "War on Terror" in this documentary featuring two of his lectures; one at Harvard University and one at Massachusetts Institute of Technology, where Chomsky's been a professor for over 40 years. For info, call 244-9091.

NEWS

COVER STORY

MON - Dr.Nat, Jazz/Salsa, No cover, 7:30-10pm MON - Steve Mendoza, 6pm TUE-WED - Da Hawaiians, 6pm MON - Karaoke w/Alana, No cover, 9pm; TUE - Island Grooves w/Vaugn, No cover, 9pm; WED - DJ Boomshot, No cover, 10pm

WANTED:

SPORTS

Interns

Open Gym Nights - Tue and Thu, 6:30-9 p.m. at Lahaina Civic Center. Sports available during those nights will be basketball, volleyball, table tennis and board games. For info, call 661-4685.

Iao Valley 10K Race - Sat, 7-9 a.m. at Wailuku Municipal Parking Lot. A scenic and cool 10K race benefiting the East Maui Animal Refuge. Starting at the Wailuku Municipal parking lot to the Iao Valley needle and back. First half of the race is a challenging uphill course and the second half you will be rewarded with a fast downhill finish. All proceeds support the EMAR. Free. For info, call 878-8678.

Maui Time has immediate openings for internships. If you are a high school or college student, or recent grad this may be the opportunity for you! Potential positions in editorial, graphic design, accounting, or sales could give you the experience or college credits that you need. Previous experience is not necessary. Budding interns should want to work in a dynamic newspaper office with a great crew.

Please send a resume to 658 Front St. # 7278, Lahaina, HI 96761 or call 808-661-3786 x3# and speak to Jennifer.

STAGE Pump Boys and Dinettes: A Country Music Revue - Fri-Sat, 7:30 p.m., Sun, 5 p.m. at the Iao Theater, Wailuku. On Highway 57, somewhere between Frog Level and Smyrna, stands a gas station.

And across the blacktop is a roadside eatery called the "Double Cupp Diner." The four guys at the station have been known to do some auto repairs, but only when aided by quantities of time and beer. Yep, sounds typical. And the Cupp sisters celebrate their home cooking with the same zeal they bring to being neighborly with the boys. Tickets: $18 adults, $16 seniors and students. For info, call 242-6969.

Front Street’s

One Of A Kind

Shopping Nook!

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI

BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria – John Kane, Wed, Thu and Fri; Harry Troupe, Sat; Kaleo Phillips, Sun; Clay Mortenson, Mon, Tue. All sets from 7:30-10 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700.

Cheeseburger In Paradise – Brooks Maguire, Thu, Sat, Sun and Wed; Harry Troupe, Fri; Gail Swanson, Mon and Thu. All sets from 4:30-7:30 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855.

COME VISIT US

Cool Cat Cafe - Erik Pietsch, Mon and Thu; Howard Ahia, Fri-Sun; Hau Phat, Wed. All Sets 7:30-10 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908.

POETRY

LETTERS

Gina Martinelli 6-9pm

Tom Cherry Band 9pm

HENRY’S BAR & GRILL

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE

monday07/18 – wednesday07/20

SURF

Jewelry • Tattoos • Activities Snorkel Gear • Fashion Art • Time Shares

Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie - Nino Toscano, Thur and Fri; Kawika Lum Ho, Sat; Damien, Tue; Ernest Puaa, Wed Open mic night; Brian Haia, Mon. All sets from 6-9 p.m. 4405 Honoapiilani Highway, 669-3474.

• Chadwick Hawaii Jewelers • Watch-n-See • Lahaina Ticket Co. • Manta Ray Snorkel Dive Tropical Toes • Air Brush Tattoo Timeshare Re-Sale • Temporary Tattoos Maui Dukes Shave Ice & Ice Cream

Hula Grill - Kawika Lum , Albert & Billy, Mon; Jarret Roback and Albert & Billy, Tue; Ernest Pua’a and Brian & Roy, Wed; Ernest Pua’a and Bradah Brian & Don, Thu ; Bradah Brian & Roy, Fri; TBA, Sat; Kawika Lum Ryan Tanaka & Friends, Sun. All sets 6:30-9 p.m. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building P, Kaanapali, 667-6636.

Java Jazz/Soup Nutz – Acoustic Music every night. 7 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd., 667-0787.

815-819 Front St. • Lahaina, HI 96761

Kahana Terrace Restaurant – Harry Troupe, Tue and Thu; Randy Reno, Sat. All sets from 6-9 p.m.

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 14, 2005

27

thursday07/14

friday07/15

KIMO’S

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

saturday07/16 sunday07/17

Crazy Fingers Duo 10pm

Carroll Brothers 10pm

Karaoke 9:30pm

Karaoke 9:30pm

KOBE JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

monday07/18 – wednesday07/20

LIFE’S A BEACH

Brian and The Boys from Cool Rush, 9pm

Chisel $5, 9pm

Rubber Sole $5, 9pm

Karoke 9pm

MON - Open Jam Night, 9pm; TUE - Kanoa, 9pm; WED -DAX, 9pm

LOBBY LOUNGE

Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30pm

Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30pm

Nils & Anastasia 8:30-11:30pm

Ricardo Dioso 8:30-11:30pm

MON - Nils & Anastasia, 8:30-11:30pm; WED - Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, No cover, 8:30-11:30pm

Live Music 9pm

Live Music 9pm

WED - Karaoke, 9pm

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

Four Seasons Resort, Wailea - 874-8000

LONGHI’S

$5, 9:45pm

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

Live Music 9pm

Live Music 9pm

[ the grid ] FRIDAY JULY 15 Live Island Sounds MALINO

ZACC KEK

ONA

PLUS

PI LANI ARIES

28

JULY 14, 2005

DA KINE CALENDAR

SATURDAY JULY 16

NOW ONLINE www.mauitime.com

FRIDAY JULY 22

thursday 07/14

friday07/15

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S

DJ Mackie Mac No cover, 9pm

DJ Mackie Mac No cover, 9pm

DJ Swerve No cover, 9pm

DJ Rock Hard Tark No cover, 9pm

MON - Mark & Mike, 9pm;TUE - DJs Mackie Mac & Big Zeek, $5, 9pm; WED - DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE

Wailea Nights 8pm

Wailea Nights 8pm

Murray Thorne No cover, 8pm

Celtic Tigers No cover, 7pm

MON - Gypsy Pacific, No cover, 7pm; TUE - Acoustico, No cover, 7pm; WED - No entertainment

Information not available

Information not available

Information not available

Information not available

MON-WED - Information not available

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-12am

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-12am

DJ Heat Midnight Lounge 9pm

Henry Cho, 8pm Malno, $20, 9:30pm

Uncle Willie K. 8:30-11:30pm

MON - Shake Your Heini w/Kapakahi, $5, 9pm; TUE - Bikini Tops & Surf Shorts, w/DJ Stylz, No cover, 9pm; WED - Live Blues w/Bobby Ingram, $5, 9pm

844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

NEPTUNES

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-2555

PACIFIC’O

505 Front St., Lahaina - 667-4341

Phat Thursday w/Hau Phat 9pm

PARADICE BLUZ

744 Front St., Lahaina - 667-5299

saturday07/16 sunday07/17

DA KINECALENDAR

TAKE 5 Non-Water Sports

Sands of Kahana Resort, 669-5399.

Wailea, 875-9983.

Kimo’s – Sam Ahia, Wed thru Sun, 7-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811.

Yorman’s By The Sea – All That Jazz Band, WedSun, 7-10 p.m. 760 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 874-8385.

Leilani’s On The Beach – Crazy Fingers, Thu, 4-6 p.m.; JD & Friends, Fri-Sat, 2:30-5:30 p.m.; Kilohana, Sun, 3:30-6 p.m; Wed Jarret Robak 4-6 p.m. 2435 Ka’anapali Parkway, Building J, Ka’anapali, 661-4495.

Moose McGillycuddy’s - Greg & Steve, Thu; Llayne & Greg, Fri; Mark & Mike, Sat-Sun; Anastasia, Wed. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7758.

Pioneer Inn – Ah-Tim Eleniki (Local-style guitar), Thu, 6-9 p.m.; Greg Di Piazza, Wed, 6-9 p.m.; Captain Billy Bones, Tue, 6-8 p.m. 658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 6613636.

Reilley’s Steaks & Seafood - Gene Argelle, Mon and Tue, 6:30-9 p.m.; Irish Billy Bones, Wed-Fri, 6-8 p.m. 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Ste #304 Kahana, 6677477 Sea House Restaurant – Hawaiian music with Albert Kaina and Kincades Basques, Thu; Kincade Basques, Fri, Sat, Mon and Tues; Kapule Paoa, Sun; Albert Kaina, Wed. All sets 7-9 p.m. Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapiilani Road, Napili, 669-1500.

Sir Wilfred’s At Whalers Village - Sun. Live Jazz 5-9 p.m. Main stage. The Best Jazz Musicians on the island, along with special guest stars. 2435 Ka’anapali Park Way, Lahaina, 661-0202.

Blue Marlin Harbor-Front Grill & Bar - Boy Kana’e and Ka’ Uhaneleo, Fri and Mon, 6:30-9 p.m.; Braddah Frances and friends, Sat, 6:30 p.m.; Terri Garrison, Sun, 4-6:30 p.m. Maalaea Harbor, 244-8844.

Capische? – Mark Johnston, Thu-Sat; Brian Cuomo, Sun and Wed; Sal & Estaire Godinez, Mon. All sets 710 p.m. Diamond Resort, 555 Kaukahi, 879-2224.

Maalaea Grill – Benoit Jazz Works, Thu, Fri and Sun, 6:30-9 p.m.; Jimmy C Jazz, Sat, 7-9 p.m. Maalaea Village Shops, 243-2206.

Marco’s Southside Grill – Various artists (piano), Mon-Sun. All sets from 7-10 p.m. 1445 S. Kihei Rd., 874-4041.

Mulligan’s on the Blue – Wailea Nights, Thu and Fri, 8 p.m.; Celtic Tigers, Sun, 7 p.m.; Gypsy Pacific, Mon, 7 p.m.; Acoustico, Tue, 7 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131.

Seawatch Restaurant - Nightly Music 6-9 p.m. 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr., 875-8080.

South Shore Tiki Lounge - Sunset happy hour, $3 special's. Live entertainment. Tony & Peter, Sun, Tue and Thu; Wed and Fri, Trevor Jones 4-6 p.m. Outdoor seating on the Aloha Jungle Lanai. 1913 Kihei Road, Kalama Village, 874-6444.

Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café – Guitar and vocals w/ Brado, Wed-Fri; Brian Wittman, Sat; Patrick Mayor, Sun-Mon. All sets from 6-10 p.m. The Shops at

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SOCCER

Café Marc Aurel - Gene Argel and Shiro Mori, Thursdays, 7-10 p.m., Shimmy Nights with Bellyroll Dance Company, 2nd Friday of every month, 7-9 p.m.

28 N. Market Street, Wailuku near the Iao Theatre.,244-0852.

Just like the rest of the world, people play soccer here on Maui. The sport is popular with all ages and skill levels. Both the field at Eddie Tam Memorial Center in Makawao and the Lahaina Recreation Center hosts youth practices, adult pick-up games and casual kick-arounds. A Lahaina adult co-ed team will reconvene this fall and compete against teams around the island. On the Lahaina turf on Tuesday evenings you can also find friendly co-ed scrimmages that welcome newcomers (especially those with a touch). Plus, you shouldn’t have a problem finding someone to juggle or shoot with on any given evening.

Whether you’re a scrappy or finesse player—if you love soccer, you’re not alone.

Mañana Garage – Nightly Neto & Friends, Latin music, 6:30 -9 p.m. 33 Lono Ave., Kahului, 873-0220.

SOFTBALL

CENTRAL MAUI

Brigit & Bernard's Gardencafe - Live entertainment. 335 Hoohana St., Kahului

Softball must be the most inclusive sport out there. For many folks, it’s a major highlight of summer. There’s no pressure to be a fit, physical specimen in this sport. You’re never too old, too out of shape, or too unathletic to play. It doesn’t hurt that there’s no ban on beer in the dugout or even the infield. If your place of work or group of friends doesn’t already have a team, grab a couple bodies and join the league next summer. If you can convince a local restaurant to sponsor you, you’ll even get some sweet uniforms and a place to party after the games. So see if your old mitt still fits and get a taste of America’s oldest past time on its newest state. Some of the best fields are at Ke’opulani Regional Park in Kahului.

Sushi Go - Presents a concept unlike anything on Maui: Conveyor-belt sushi. Live Music every Wed, 4-8 p.m. Queen Ka'ahumanu Center, Kahului, 877-8744.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI

Jacque’s - Live Jazz, Mon, 5 p.m.120 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-8844.

Livewire Cafe - Various Artists, Fri-Sat and Wed, 9 p.m. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-6009.

Moana Cafe - Hula Honeys, vintage and contemporary Hawaiian music with elegance and aloha. Live Jazz, Wed and Fri; Anik, Sun, 6-9 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

BASKETBALL

RESORT SHOWS

SOUTH MAUI

SURF

monday07/18 – wednesday07/20

You could put up a net anywhere and people will shoot at it. That is the beauty of basketball. Play it cool with some Knockout, Around the World or 21, or find someone to challenge. And in a match, it’s amazing how much aerobic activity you can pack into just a few minutes of ballin’. Animated games take place nightly at the courts at Malu Ulu Olele Park in Lahaina. Expect to prove yourself to the locals to get some action. Just remember to bring actual shoes besides your slippers.

WEST MAUI

Embassy Vacation Resort – Ka’anapali Beach 104 Ka’anapali Shores, Lahaina, 661-2000 Ohana Bar & Grill: Live music, Thu and Wed; Patrick Major, Fri; Wayne & Friends, Sun; Ernest Pua’a w/ Hawaiian music, Mon and Tue. All sets from 5:309:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

TENNIS Tennis is hot right now. It’s certainly more trendy than it used to be. Some of the world’s best athletes are redefining the sport, serving the ball at blistering speeds and crushing long-held records. The foundation of a good tennis game is technique, which can only come from persistent practice. Even better, you don’t need to poach at the Ritz Carlton’s spiffy courts to play tennis. As long as you have a racket, you should be able to find an open court in the community. Eddie Tam Park in Makawao’s got a couple courts; so does Malu Ulu Olele in Lahaina. There are four courts at the Kahului Community Center.

Spats: Weeping Banyan Lounge with nightly Live Hawaiian Contemporary Music 6:30-9:30 p.m.

Ka’anapali Beach Hotel 2525 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0011 Kupanaha: Maui Magic for All Ages: Illusions and dinner show Tue-Sat, 4:30 p.m., Kanahele Room; Lanui, live music and dancing, 6-9 nightly. Free hula show, 6:30-7:30 nightly; Sunday Champagne Brunch with Hawaiian music by Polinahe, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

Tiki Courtyard Of Ka’anapali Beach Hotel: Live music featuring Hawaii’s premiere Slack Key Guitarists Ola Hou with Pekelo Cosma and Ohana Brown, Fri, 69 p.m.

RUGBY Now, this sport is not for the faint of heart or frail of bone. But if you’re ready for serious bodily contact, this might be the sport for you. Rugby is a blend of soccer and football, minus the pads but with a lot more warlike tenacity. If you watch a match you’ll see a free-for-all of athletic prowess and brute strength.

Sound good? Check out Lahaina Rec Center on weeknights for local match-ups.

Even at this unofficial level, the athletes play to win and usually end up icing and nursing sore spots after the game. Invest in a mouthguard or at least dental insurance before coming out.

Whalers Village Center Stage: Polynesian Hula Show, Sat, 6:30-7 p.m.; Sunset Jazz Show, Sun, 5-8 p.m.; Dances of Polynesia, Mon, 6:30-7 p.m. and Drums of Tahiti 7:30-8 p.m; Polynesian Hula Show, Wed, 6:30-7 p.m. and Tahitian Dance 7:30-8 p.m. All Shows free.

-MOLLY RETTIG

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 14, 2005

29

thursday07/14

SANSEI 115 Bay Dr., Kapalua - 669-6286 SANSEI Kihei Town Center - 879-0004

friday07/15

DJ Blast $10, 9:30pm

Hyatt Regency, Ka’anapali - 667-4727

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE

DJ Sunny No cover, 9:30pm

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR

Crunch Pups No cover, 9pm

2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

monday07/18 – wednesday07/20

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

SPATS TRATTORIA

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

saturday07/16 sunday07/17

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR

1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 5721380

TSUNAMI NIGHTCLUB

3850 Wailea Alanui Dr. - 875-1234

Open Jukebox 9pm

Kenny Roberts & Friends 9pm

Funky Munkey $3, 9pm

Lonnie Williams Band $3, 9pm

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm

Acoustic w/Kanoa & Cody No cover, 9:30pm

MON - DJ, No cover, 10pm; TUE-WED - Live Entertainment, 10pm

Hale & The Hot Lava Band No cover, 9pm

MON - No Entertainment, No cover; TUE - Erin Smith, No cover; WED - John Moore Project w/Elan Rae, 9pm

DA KINECALENDAR Kapalua Bay Hotel 1 Bay Drive, Kapalua, 669-5656.

The Bay Club: Jazz trio, Fri and Sat, 6-9 p.m.; solo pianist, Sun-Thu, 6-9 p.m.; Gardenia Court: contemporary Hawaiian music, Sun, 9:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m.; Lehua Lounge: Free hula show Wednesday and Fridays.

5:15-8:30 pm.

Maui Marriott 100 Nohea Kai Drive, Kaanapali, 667-1200 Nalu’s: Kilohana, Wed, 8-10:30 p.m.

Napili Kai Beach Resort 5900 Honoapiilani Hwy, Napili, 669-1500 Hawaiian Music: Kincaid & Albert, Thu; Kincaid Basques Fri-Sat, Mon-Tue; Kapule Paoa, Sun; Albert Kaina, Wed; All Hawaiian music shows from 7-9 p.m.

Ritz-Carlton Kapalua One Ritz-Carlton Drive, Kapalua, 669-6200 Lobby Lounge: Live music, 6-10 nightly. Banyan Tree Restaurant: World fusion duo Ranga Pae,Tue-Sat, 6:15-9:45 p.m.

Kapalua Indoor Amphitheater: Masters of Hawaiian Slack Key Guitar Concerts series features traditional Hawaiian music. Every Tues 6-8:30 p.m.

Tickets: $40 visitor and $30 kama`aina rate.

The Legend of Kaulula'au: Young Hawaiians loving their culture and willing to perpetuate an aspect of their Hawaiian culture, the art of storytelling. Every Thur at 7:30 p.m. Tickets: $30 and $27 Kamaaina. 1888-808-1055.

Royal Lahaina Resort 2780 Kekaa Drive, Kaanapali, 661-3611

HAPPY HOUR 7 DAYS A WEEK . 3PM-6PM $1 WELLS & DOMESTIC DRAFTS $2 PREMIUM DRAFTS, LONG ISLAND ICED TEA, CHI-CHI’S, PINA CALADAS, MARGARITAS

NIGHT Y TUES-$1 L T H OUR FAMOUS “DOLLAR NIGHT”!!!

G I N IALS C E SP -CLOSE WED REDNECKS & ROMANCE PM 9

JACK DANIELS - MILLER HIGH LIFE!!!

THUR-ABSOLUT NIGHT ALL ABSOLUT DRINKS ON SPECIAL!!!

"Eddie and Eddie" w/Eddie Lilikoi and Eddie Sebala, 5-9:30 nightly in the Royal Ocean Terrace.

Royal Lahaina Luau featuring authentic Hawaiian and Polynesian song and dance at 5 nightly.

Sheraton Maui Hotel 2605 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0031 Lagoon Bar Entertainment w/hula dancers, 6-8 nightly; Bobby & Ralph, Thu, Mon and Tue; Ralph & Allan, Fri; Fausto & Kawaika, Sat and Sun; Nathan & Ralph, Wed. Torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset, 7-8 nightly.

Tropica: Mitch Kepa, Mon and Sat-Su; Benny Uyetake, Tue-Fri, 6-9 p.m. Tableside magic by Fortunato Tue and Thu, and Wed and Sat 7- 9 p.m.

SOUTH MAUI

Four Seasons Resort Wailea 3900 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 874-8000

ALL TWISTS $2.75

Lobby Lounge, Hawaiian music w/Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran, Thu, 5:30-7:30 p.m. followed by jazz w/Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; contemporary music w/Clay Mortensen and George Tavoularis, Fri, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; island style trio, Sat and Mon, 5:30-

$3 CROWN ROYAL . $3.75 ABSOLUT LEVEL . DJ & DANCING

30

JULY 14, 2005

DA KINE CALENDAR

Grand Wailea Resort Hotel & Spa 3850 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-1234 Botero Bar entertainment, Live Music, Wed, 5:309:30 p.m.; Strolling Hawaiian duo in the Humuhumunukunukuapua’a nightly.

The Fairmont Kea Lani Maui 4100 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-4100 Cafe Ciao Restaurant. Jazz entertainment from 69 nightly.

Wailea Marriott 3700 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-1922 Hawaiian Entertainment w/hula 6-9 nightly in Kumu Bar & Grill. Hawaiian entertainment 9-11 nightly in the Mele Mele Lounge featuring Pam Gamboa Peterson Mon and Sat, Mitch Kepa & Raymond "Mundo" Medeiros. Paradise & Ka Poe O Hawaii perform at the Luau, Mon, Tue, Thu and Fri. Renaissance Wailea Beach Resort 3550 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-4900 Sunset Terrace: Live Hawaiian contemporary music

by Lono, Mon-Tue; Bobby Krueger, Wed-Thu; Mahalo Greg, Fri; Rama Camarillo, Sat; Mondo Kane, Sun. All sets 6-9 p.m.

Maui Prince Hotel 5400 Makena Alanui, 874-1111 Molokini Lounge: Ron Kuala’au, Hawaiian and contemporary guitar and vocals, Sun, 6-10:30 p.m. and Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m.; Mele ‘Ohana duo, Mon, Wed. and Fri, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. and 6-8 p.m., Mon-Sat, 8:30-10:30 p.m.

EAST MAUI

Hotel Hana-Maui Hana, 248-8211 Hawaiian Music in Paniolo Lounge: Thu thru Sun, 6:30-9:30 p.m.; Hula show, every Thu and Sun, 7:30-8:15 p.m. in the Main Dining Room.

The Westin Maui Hotel 2365 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-2525

FRI-SMIRNOFF TWIST SAT- CROWN ROYAL

7:30 p.m. w/hula dancer 5:30-6:30 p.m.; Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria, Sun, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Nils & Anastasia (of VooDoo Suns) live & unplugged Mon and Sat, 8:3011:30 p.m.; Clay Mortensen and Gilbert Emata, Wed, 8:30-11:30 p.m. Sunset torchlighting nightly.

Send your listings & photos for the Da Kine Calendar to calendar@mauitime.com or fax (808) 661-0446

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SEEKING ONE WOMAN SM, 36, goal-oriented, family-oriented, enjoys fitness, quiet times, life. Seeking one woman to learn about her goals, dreams and enjoy quality time together. 695377 @ Kent1000 HAWAIIAN COWBOY Hawaiian cowboy looking for goodtime I am looking for a women who can make me happy. I have no children. Seeking SF, 1836. 685542 @ allcon3

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LEAVE THE REST TO US!!

The first text message in each conversation is FREE! After that, keep chatting for just 50 cents per message!

For customer service call 1-617-450-8773 or email MauiTime@placepersonal.com ABBREVIATIONS: A-Asian; B-Black; C-Christian; D-Divorced; F-Female; G-Gay; H-Hispanic; J-Jewish; M-Male; N/S-Non-Smoker; P-Professional; S-Single; W-White GUIDELINES: Personals are for adults 18 or over seeking monogamous relationships. To ensure your safety, carefully screen all responses and have first meetings occur in a public place. This publication reserves the right to edit, revise, or reject any advertisement at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content of or replies to any ad. Not a service of all ads have corresponding voice messages. To review our complete guidelines, call (617) 425-2636

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 14, 2005

31

AUTOMOTIVE AAA RATED DONATION Donate Your Car, Boat, or Real Estate.

IRS Deductible.

Free Pickup/Tow. Any Model/Condition.

Help Underprivileged Children. OUTREACHCENTER.ORG 1-800-7151222. (AAN CAN)

PETS PET SITTER Stop feeling guilty! Motherly care given with gentle kindness, in your home or mine by teacherreverend(available for wedding renewals) loves all animals! 808-8798317 or mauirev@aol.com

CLASSES & INSTRUCTION

283-7725 BUY & SELL

$BUY & SELL$ JEWELRY • DIAMONDS WATCHES • COINS COLORED STONES MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS SURF BOARDS

WEST MAUI GOLD 667-7689 1000 LIMAHANA PL. LAHAINA ISLAND COINS & STAMPS

WE BUY & SELL

coins, tokens, medals, stamps, paper money, Hawaiiana, sport collectibles

667- 6155

3rd floor Wharf Cinema Ctr.

COMPUTER EQUIPMENT NEED NEW COMPUTER Bad Credit - No Problem! Buy a new computer Now and pay for it later.

New Computers and Laptops from $20/month. Call Now 1-800-311-1542.

(AAN CAN)

KITES COACH Learn & earn or just have fun teaching your friends with the revolutionary EARN $3500 WEEKLY! KITES method. Classes are held Answering Surveys Online! $25-$75 Thursdays at 5pm. Cost is $49 and Per Survey! Guaranteed Paychecks. includes a book & DVD. Process E-mails Online $25.00 Per Kiteboardcenter.com-276-2667-96 E-mail. Mystery Shoppers Earn Amala Place, Kahului $57.00/Hour Shopping!

NEWS FLASH! POLAR ICE CAPS www.RealCashPrograms.com (AAN CAN) MELTING AT ALARMING RATE! ALL CASH CANDY ROUTE! Learn to SCUBA before it’s too late!

Dive Today with SHAKA DIVERS, Do you earn $800 in a day? Your own Professional, Safe, Fun Lessons and local candy route. Includes 30 Dive Tours. Torpedo Dives, Hydro- Machines and Candy. All for $9,995.

Optix Masks! (808) 250-1234 www. 1-800-807-6525. (AAN CAN) shakadivers.com it’s SHAKA-RIFIC $$CASH$$ Immediate Cash for Structured Settlements, Annuities, Law Suits, Inheritances, Mortgage Notes, & Cash Flows. J.G. Wentworth - #1 1$CASH NOW$ AS SEEN ON TV. (800)-794-7310. (AAN CAN) Advances for insurance, lawsuit settlements, annuity payments, lottery/casino winnings.

Call Prosperity Partners - Cash in future BARTENDERS payments! 1-800-815-3503. www.ppi- up to $1200 per week. Tips + wages. cash.com (AAN CAN) No Experience Required. Multiple FT/PT positions available. Call 1-800HELP WANTED 806-0083 ext. 202. (AAN CAN) Earn Extra income Assembling CD Cases from home. No experience 2005 POSTAL POSITIONS!! necessary! Start Immediately! 1-800- $17.50-$59.00+/Hour. Full Benefits.

267-3944 EXT. 150. www.easywork- Paid training & Vacations. No experigreatpay.com Invalid in MD, WI, ND, ence Necessary! Green Card OK! For SD. (AAN CAN) More Information Call 1-866-329-0801 ext. 1050. (AAN CAN) A #1 INJURY Lawsuit Cash! Lawsuit Dragging?

GOVERNMENT JOBS Need cash now? Low rates, no Earn Up to $12 to $48/Hour. Full monthly payments. Bad/No Credit Medical/Dental Benefits, Paid OK. Apply by phone. 877-386-3692 Training. Clerical, Administrative, www.havealawsuit.com (AAN CAN) Homeland Security, Wildlife, Law

JULY 14, 2005

*MOVIE EXTRAS* Earn $150-$300/Day All Looks/Types Needed. No Experience Necessary.

TV, Music Videos, Commercials, Film, Print. Call Tollfree 7 days! 1-800-2603949 x3025. (AAN CAN) EXPOSE YOURSELF! With one simple phone call, you can reach up to 17 million young, active and educated readers in more than 100 newspapers just like this one. Go to www.aancan.com or call this newspaper for more information. (AAN CAN)

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

EMPLOYMENT

$$ FREE $$ CASH $$ GRANTS

Enforcement, More! 1-800-320-9353 x.2001. (AAN CAN)

for 2005 Never repay! For personal bills. Movie extras, Actors, Models!

Home buying. School. New business. Make $100-$300/day. No Exp. Req., $5,000-$500,000. Live operators. For FT/PT All looks needed! 1-800-714more information call now! 1-800-860- 7565 (AAN CAN) 2187 ext. 112. (AAN CAN) MEDIA MAKE-UP ARTISTS $50,000 FREE CASH earn up to $500/day for television,CD/videos, film, fashion.

GRANTS 2005!

Never repay! For personal bills, One week course in Los Angeles school, new business. Fee for infor- while building portfolio.Brochure 3106 4 0 6 6 5 mation. $49 BILLION left unclaimed 3 from 2004. Live operators! 1-800-785- w w w. M e d i a M a k e u p A r t i s t s . c o m (AAN CAN) 6360 Ext. #74. (AAN CAN)

PLACING AN AD IS EASY! CALL 661-3786

32

UP TO $4,000 WEEKLY!!

11 Year Nationwide Company Now MODELS WANTED Hiring! Easy Work, Sending Out Our For Calendar & Print Work. Cash Paid.

Simple One Page Brochure! Free 573-6753 Postage, Supplies! FREE INFORMATION, CALL NOW!! 1-800-242-0363 *MOVIE EXTRAS* Ext. 4200 (AAN CAN) Earn $150-$300/Day All Looks/Types Needed. No Experience Necessary. $50,000 FREE CASH TV, Music Videos, Commercials, Film, GRANTS 2005!

Print. Call Tollfree 7 days! 1-800-260Never repay! For personal bills, 3949 x3025. (AAN CAN) school, new business. Fee for information. $49 BILLION left unclaimed $ MODELS WANTED $ from 2004. Live operators! 1-800-856- For calendar magazine and artistic 9591 Ext. #88. (AAN CAN) print work. Ages 18 to 35. 573-3712

CLASSIFIED

BARTENDERS up to $1200 per week. Tips + wages.

No Experience Required. Multiple FT/PT positions available. Call 1-800806-0083 ext. 202. (AAN CAN)

Bubba Gump Shrimp Company WANNA HAVE FUN? WANT MORE HOURS? See us today for your interview!!

NOW HIRING ALL POSITIONS Apply in person • Aplique ahora 889 Front St., Lahaina

Looking For A Little Experience?

Is Seeking Interns.

Entry level positions. High school students okay. We will train.

• Must Be Bright & Adaptable • School Credit Possible

Send resume to: Jen Russo 658 Front St. #126A-7278, Lahaina HI 96761 or call 661-3786 x3#

MUSICAL INSTRUCTION Sansei Seafood Restaurant and Sushi Bar Kapalua You're favorite restaurant is also an amazing place to work!

We are seeking positive people for the following positions

HOST/HOSTESS HIGHEST NIGHTLY TIPS ON MAUI PLUS WAGES AND BENEFITS

DISHWASHER GREAT TIPS, WAGES & BENEFITS Apply in person 12pm-5pm daily

669-6286 MUSIC & ARTS MUSICIANS WANTED BASS PLAYER NEEDED For Original Band 250-6170

CHARGE IT! Maui Time Weekly accepts credit cards for classified and display ads

• Work With A Fun Team • Gain Valuable Experience

DRUM LESSONS Maui Media Lab & Recording Studio in Paia. Clean & Comfortable. Drums Provided. Call 573-8278 or visit hakaman.com for more information.

NOTICES

LANAI REAL ESTATE Looking for a charming, spacious home in the islands without the traffic and crowds? We’ve got just the home...a spacious 4 bedroom, 2 bath, 2 car garage, storage, extensively landscaped yard with attractive water feature! With Appliances and partially furnished, this home is ready for move in today- a rare find on the most exclusive island in the chain.

Seller may carry portion- fantastic opportunity! Seller is Hawaii real estate licensee. Fee Simple.

Barnhart Associates Real Estate Hawaii. Josh Jerman R (S) 283-2222 www.joshjerman.com

ALOHA VALUED READERS We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most of our ads. We read back the ad copy to ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want. If you see the acronym (AAN CAN) that ad is a ICE HOUSE LOFTS national ad and was not submitted directly to us. If you have a question Only 3 units available. (520)623directly concerning AAN CAN, please LOFT www.icehouselofts.com Metro Realty Advisors LLC. Owner/Broker check out aancan.org (AAN CAN)

REAL ESTATE FOR SALE Maui Investment Condo- Hale Kamaole 1bd/1ba “True tropical delight in highly desirable South Kihei. This fully remodeled, spacious, 1 bedroom, 1 bath ground floor unit is tastefully decorated “Maui Style.” Sold beautifully furnished, this turn-key vacation rental is an investor’s dream. Unique features abound: Wi-Fi Internet access, two-person shower, and peek-a-boo ocean views from a tiled lanai. Located directly across from Kamaole III beach park and just a short walk to restaurants, shops and oceans fun!”. Barnhart Associates Real Estate Hawaii Josh Jerman Realtor (S) 2932222 www.BornonMaui.com

S.&W. MAUI CONDOS $240,000 fee simple W. & S. MAUI HOMES from $575,000

from

Surf the Maui MLS Listings at www.barrybrownmaui.com Barry Lee Brown (R) P.O. Box 11782 Lahaina

(808) 661-1800 A portion of every commission is donated to the Surfrider Foundation of Maui

SHARED HOUSING, ROOMMATES

Maui Recycling Service

ALL AREAS - ROOMMATE.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: www.Roommates.com (AAN CAN)

CURBSIDE RECYCLING!

VACATION RENTALS

FREE Recycling Bins – And No Sign-up Fee!

Friends or Family Visiting Maui?

Affordable Studio Condo w/ Kitchen.

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When you subscribe for 3 months of bi-weekly service – (A $25 value!)

New customers only – offer expires 7/31/05

SERVICES RANDEM SYSTEMS CUSTOM PROGRAMMING Have computer/network problems?

We can help you get them fixed. 25 years of experience on Wall St. Reasonable rates. 344-0256 FINANCIAL TRAINING SERVICES Learn to live debt free and have more money from your current income.

Learn to invest properly. Do not believe that if you have no money there is nothing that you can do. Call 344-0256 MAUI RECYCLING SERVICE Picks up all your glass, plastic, aluminum, tin, mixed paper, & cardboard.

Home Pickup; a convenience for $16/mo!

Bi-monthly pick up.

Commercial accounts avail. Call Now! 244-0443

Maui Lawn Works “we do all the work . . . so you can enjoy your yard”

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If not now, when?

HIV COUNSELING AND TESTING

LETTERS

NEWS

Fine motor control is tricky for an ogre. And since this week the part of the violent, ham-handed giant is being played by you, be especially careful. What you intend as a gentle and friendly critique could easily turn into a fullon evisceration. A pat on the back is likely to crush those you want to congratulate. Turn down your intensity meter 90%. Tiptoe and whisper, or better yet, hold still, and allow everyone to approach on their own terms and in their own time, like timid forest creatures. They’re all fragile butterflies at the moment, compared to you. You could accidentally destroy them with a breath, a touch or a word. You can’t help being an ogre, perhaps—but you can at least be a patient, peace-loving one.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) Virgos are generally kind, but your tongues have razor edges when you choose to wield them as weapons (which is, thankfully, rarely). However, the temptation to verbally flay those you despise, oppose or merely look down upon (however secretly) will be virtually irresistible this week. You’ll be nearly as surprised as everyone else when the vitriol simply begins spewing from your mouth. Chances are, you won’t be able to stop this thing. Time for damage control. Steer this baby. Go ahead and give those guys the tongue-lashing they’ve evidently got coming to them. Just try not to say anything that’s going to completely burn bridges. Don’t exceed a light char and you’ll be doing just fine.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) Better watch your soul, it’ll leave you like a hundred bucks. So sings songwriter M. Ward, and I’d heed him if I were you. You’re likely to be presented with a myriad of temptations this week, all of which endanger your integrity; something much more important than you think, which you’d discover to your dismay once it became compromised. I’d rather you didn’t experience that dark and virtually irreversible revelation. Keep a tight rein on your activities and the things you agree to. Sleep on any big decisions, and if anyone pushes you to act faster than that, simply say no—regardless of what’s on offer.

TO ADVERTISE Call 661-3786

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) Illusions abound this week. For example, we already know our country isn’t nearly as free as it pretends to be (with a higher percentage of its population in jail than virtually any other nation); kids are never as innocent or worldly as they present themselves; same goes for adults. There are layers and layers of glamour all around you; and each one has its own origin and intention. Your job this week (and every week, really) is to unravel these. See through them. Being a master of disguise and deception yourself, you’re more equipped than anyone else I know to pierce these veils and expose what’s behind them.

FAX NUMBER

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) The other night at a club three total strangers approached me to tell me I was a good dancer. They weren’t even hitting on me; as far as I could tell, they had no ulterior agenda besides exchanging a friendly word. This is the kind of thing you can expect (and accept) this week: sweet gestures from friends but also (especially) strangers, for no reason you can (or should bother to) discern. Maybe they’re just trying to improve their own karma, or earn a metaphysical boy scout badge by doing good deeds. My advice is simple, and easy to follow: when someone is nice to you this week, simply accept it. Sometimes face value is exactly what it’s worth.

808.661-0446

A public health message provided by The Maui AIDS Foundation.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) FREE SURPLUS DVD/VHS while supplies last! Adult Content – 21 years and over only. A small S&H fee may apply. Call 1-800-223-5811 – Tell Your Friends! (AAN CAN) PREGNANT? Thinking ADOPTION? Talk with caring people specializing in matching birthmothers with loving families nationwide. EXPENSES PAID. Toll free 24/7 One True Gift Adoptions 866-921-0565. (AAN CAN)

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classifieds@mauitime.com

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18)

HEALTH DIET PILLS Imagine an organic pill that kills your appetite and fools your brain into believing you are full. www.PureHoodia.com (AAN CAN)

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

You’ve heard of blue moons, right? You probably know this as the phenomenon of two full moons in a single calendar month. There’s a second kind: when the moon is full in the same sign twice in a row. It’s fairly rare (the next time is in 2008) and pretty intense and important. It’s not just a second chance to fix or finish whatever you didn’t get done last month, it’s an opportunity to up your game, and the stakes. In other words, you’re this blue moon’s star, and it’s last call at the bar, baby. Whatever big thing you screwed up last month, or somehow didn’t get to—do it now.

EMAIL

MISCELLANEOUS

HOODIA GORDONII SUCCULENT

CALL BRAD AT 661-3786 EXT. 5

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22)

MONDAY 4PM

HEALTH COVERAGE

PLACING AN AD IS EASY!

This week’s theme: Cancer control issues. Unfortunately for your clutching instinct, the big juicy fish you’re embracing at the moment needs to be held loosely. Squeeze it too tightly and it’ll just freak out and wriggle free, back into the vast ocean, where you’ll never find, let alone recapture it again. The only way to keep this baby close is to barely hold it at all. Don’t give it anything to struggle against, or you’ll quickly discover just how slippery those shiny scales are. It’s a tough choice: Will you keep this love close, on his or her terms, forsaking all your own? Or will you decide it’s your way or no way, and force this one to escape forever?

AD DEADLINE

If you feel that you have been potentially exposed to HIV and would like Free, Confidential and Anonymous testing call the Maui AIDS Foundation at 242-4900.

It is important to know your HIV status so that you do not unknowingly pass the virus to others, also early detection is vital to your health and treatment.

The Maui AIDS Foundation now offers Drop-In HIV Counseling and Testing (No appointment necessary) Drop in hours are Mon.-Fri. 8:30am to 4:30pm, Wed. 8:30am to 7pm 1935 Main Street, Wailuku For more information on HIV/AIDS, STD’s including Viral Hepatitis and HIV Counseling and Testing call the Maui AIDS Foundation at 242-4900.

In Hana call 248-7801, Lanai 5656722, and Molokai 553-9086.

BY CAERIEL CRESTIN

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

244-0443 • www.mauirecycles.com

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CLEAN, AFFORDABLE Accommodations in our vacation rental from $49 per day. Call Toll Free Wailuku Guesthouse 877-986-8270 or www.wailukuhouse.com

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The suspense (or lack thereof) is killing you. If your life were a novel, these chapters might bore the hell out of you, pertaining as they do to some sub-plot you have no interest in. However, even if you have the opportunity to skip ahead and read the end of the book this week, I beg you not to. You’d not only be missing out on a lot of good stuff (as well as more of this boring crap, I admit) in between, but you’d cheat yourself as well.

Let me explain: The ending changes (or at least takes on a whole new meaning) when you have no idea what came before.

WEBSITE www.mauitime.com

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) I’m particularly fond of genre-crossing media. Horror-comedy, western-sci-fi, fantasy-space opera, and so on.

This kind of creative boundary-crossing and territory-mixing really gets me off, and works for a lot of other people, too. In other words, you’re in luck, because you’re the ultimate genre-mixer. You can’t help it; you’re in trouble whenever anyone asks you to be just one thing. Thankfully, more people are realizing that being just one thing is as dull as dishwater. All that care you’ve been taking to keep the chocolate out of the peanut butter? Fuck it.

It’s exactly that delicious combination we’re interested in.

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ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

658 Front Street

Love and sex don’t always line up for you. It’s special and rare when they mesh well into some kind of cohesive whole. That’s why I want you to treasure this week, because your heart and your genitals are on the same page for once. If you have someone to celebrate this with, well hallelujah. If you don’t, you at least have the chance to actually figure out what kind of person is going to take care of both these parts of you—which will also give you the chance of finally finding him or her.

#126A-7278

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

Lahaina, HI 96761

You don’t usually cope well with disappointment, although you may hide your dismay expertly. It’s gotten so you get anxious whenever anyone promises to do anything for you, because you’re worried they’ll let you down.

Luckily, this week, you can let your concerns go. Yes, you’re surrounded by flakes (almost everyone’s flaky compared to you). But every once in a while they actually get their shit together and come through. Relax. This is one of those golden times when people will actually do what they say they’re going to do, and well. Leave them to it.

DROP OFF

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) When your dog comes in from outside reeking of whatever dead thing he was just rolling in, you don’t cast him out of your life forever. You might get annoyed or angry. But you give him a bath, then you forgive him and move on. He’s just being a dog, after all. Why, when an important human you know makes a similar “mistake,” do you consider leaving her by the wayside? Should she have known better? Absolutely. Will it happen again?

Probably. Can you live with this? Actually, yes—provided you’re willing to let go of or alter some preconceptions you’ve held onto from day one. Which is it going to be? Do you want to lose some silly ideas, or a pretty great person (who’s just not perfect)?

505 Front St. Ste. 216, Lahaina

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 14, 2005

33

HOLOHOLOGIRL

BY SAMANTHA CAMPOS

Nerd Confession #62 I’ve never told anyone this—okay, maybe one person but he’s in China so that doesn’t count—and I’m kind of embarrassed to admit it. It’s an obsession, really, something that I’ve kept remarkably hidden, or on the down low for years. You would never know it by looking at me.

Whether it’s hard or soft, I don’t care. Girth makes no difference. When I see the object of my fascination—my addiction, really—my heart pounds, nostrils flare, skin tingles, eyes grow wide and mind races with thoughts too wild to contain. I become possessed.

Some might call it a fetish. But it’s probably the single biggest reason why I started working at Border’s Books & Music in Kahului. And still do, on occasion.

I have a thing about books. Oh, it’s beyond mere bibliophilia. Sure, reading them is great and all. But I get the biggest rush simply looking up at a 15-foot wall stuffed with ‘em—row after row of spines, generally eight to 10 inches in height but varying in density, color and style.

I love to pull down a random book off the shelf and investigate the binding or the way the grooves between the front and backboards slope gently or dramatically, depending on how often the book’s been opened. I love to flip the pages, seeing if the print is too large (inferring simplicity) or too small (tending towards pretentiousness). And if I determine the book is very new and unopened, I’ll smell the pages and just barely open the flyleaf to hear the crackle of glue and paper at the hinges.

And I admit, I do judge a book by its cover. I know sometimes the picture or graphic choice says more about the author’s character than the book’s content. Which is not to say I don’t appreciate the merit of romance novel covers, or the chakra and rainbow-heavy covers of metaphysical books.

I once hesitated to buy a travel narrative from one of my favorite writers because the cover— the cover, not the back—depicted the author in a horrifically cheesy, “look at me, I’m going somewhere” pose in full makeup, designer suit and top hat. It looked like it should have been an aging Broadway star autobiography.

When I first started working at Borders five years ago, I gobbled up advance copies and read everything I could get my hands on. Nowadays it seems I just don’t have the time for that kind of commitment. But I do perform an elaborate—and highly attention-deficit—ritual every time I go in.

Of course, I read the back sleeve and jacket flap for story synopsis and to see the infinite ways critics can say the book is readable. The bestsellers and Oprah picks always say “A masterpiece!” on the back, which to me spells boring epic—soon to be made some dumb movie starring Brad Pitt or Renee Zellweger. My favorite part is the Contents page and I always, always read the first paragraph of every book I pick up.

During a typical five-hour shift, I perform this biblio-ritual approximately 72 times, depending on which section they have me “working” in. If I am working, you can generally spot me maniacally alphabetizing in Psychology or with my face buried in the Medieval/Renaissance Studies corner, occasionally running over to Literature, but always taking time to scowl at the amateurs perusing cheap, mass-market copies of Tom Clancy or Danielle Steel in the more pedestrian genre sections.

Actually, I try not to assess people’s reading habits too closely—if they ask me for the latest David Icke book about alien lizards guiding us from outer space, I won’t balk. I’m just happy they’re reading. And if I catch them taking a deep whiff of page 62, I will be more than happy to give the lovebirds a little privacy.

Samantha Campos worked briefly as the lead stand-in for Heather Locklear’s stunt double on T.J. Hooker, but was booted when she got caught scarfing Adrian Zmed’s tuna sandwich from Craft Services.

MTW

34

JULY 14, 2005

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CLUB TANTRA Tantra lesson, followed by intimate party. Saturdays, 7PM, 244-4103.

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Find Maui’s Holistic Events!

Visit www.mauivision.net today and explore our extensive mind, body & spirit listings. New August/September Maui Vision Magazine Coming Soon!

Call 669-9091 for info.

BECOME YOUR OWN HEALER Empower yourself through Spiritual Mind Healing. We teach you to clear discordant energy trapped within situations, environments, homes or offices and people living or departed. Contact: 808-573-3323. Narodha@yahoo.com

These workshops are explorations to inspire personal and interpersonal spontaneity, honesty,connection and freedom.These workshops are dynamic explorations that use MEISNER ACTING TECHNIQUE,other expressive arts modalities including movement and dance,and psychotherapeutic modalities using both individual and group processes.

Move your body!

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Free your mind!

Nia – fitness for every Body Erin Graue – Certified Nia Teacher

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10% EARLY REGISTRATION DISCOUNT AVAILABLE CALL 573-3253 FOR MORE INFO OR TO REGISTER

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No false promises. Guaranteed immediate results. Complimentary consultation. 210-647-0720 INDIGO OCEAN Spiritual Energy Healing & Channeled Guidance. 573-4290 www.clearlightnature.com

HEALING HANDS In Kihei FOR YOUR HEALTH & WELL BEING

BARBARA WILLIAMS

875-2081

CALL RETAIL Now under new management

661-3786

ALOHA SEXUAL HEALTH & HAPPINESS

KAMA`AINA

10 10 10

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10 Days 10 Classes $ 10 (not valid with any other offers, new students only, exp.7/31/05)

250-1220

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NIA KEEPS EXPANDING! The Studio Maui, Maui Lotus Yoga, and NOW Island Spirit Yoga in Lahaina.

Please visit www.niamaui.com for further details and come sweat your joy!

SOULMATE SPECIALIST-

81 Central Ave. Wailuku and outcall (or Mondays-Lahaina). Specializing in Therapeutic Lomilomi, Deep Tissue and Injury Rehabilitation. $70 or DonationInsurance, Cash, Credit, w/Daniel Fowler MAT#2765, MAE#1241 Call 280-0733 Lomilomi Retreat Nov. 2-10 in CHRONIC ISLAND VIBE CLOTHING Hana. @

TO ADVERTISE Call 661-3786

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Get Healthy with All-Natural, Doctor Recommended Supplements. www.paradisenutritionandweightloss.com

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505 Front St. Ste. 216, Lahaina

BELLYDANCE AS YOGA CLASS Have inner beauty at any age. Gentle workout by the beach. North end Kam 3 park in Kihei, near white gazebo. Leyla Atwill 891-8979

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658 Front Street #126A-7278 Lahaina, HI 96761

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edis

STOP WISHIN’ & GO FISHIN’

CALL (808) 661-3786 for complete details!

42’ BERTRAM SPORTFISHERS

RATED #1

Theatre Arts On Maui

Maui: (808) 667-2774

New class for children ages 10-17 in Paia. Private Lessons Available for All Ages!! Have Fun Learning: Diction, Drama, Improvisation, Directing and More.

Contact Sam Show @ 573-5800

KONA: (808) 327-1265

Custom & Used Boards, Repair. Near Foodland.

661-4289

Medical Marijuana Is approved in Hawaii for: Cancer, Glaucoma, HIV/AIDS Cachexia/Wasting Syndrome, Chronic Nausea Epilepsy/Seizures, Multiple Sclerosis, and Crohn’s Disease also Chronic Pain Disorders such as Chronic Neck and Back Pain If you have any of these conditions, you may qualify for Legal Medical Marijuana. We are medical doctors and we can help you obtain your permit.

You will need to provide us with copies of your medical records documenting your medical history.

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Also Flags From Around the World, Collectable Old Coins and Sports Memorabilia. Island Coins & Stamps, Wharf Cinema Center, 3rd Floor, Lahaina, 667-6155l

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Air Maui Helicopter Tours 2 for 1 Special!

West Maui/Molokai Special. Only Air Maui offers this incredible flight! Call now for your 2 for 1 Kama’aina special or special visitor rate! Expires Dec. 31, 2005.

For reservations call 877-7005

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Professional Haircuts at Great Prices!

Hair by Lanessa at Salon Maika’i Professional Styles at Great Prices! Salon Maika’i is located upstairs at The Wharf Cinema Center Across from the Banyan Tree. Call 280-0978 for Appointments with Lanessa.

Beauty Bliss! at Blue Bamboo... $ Featuring Dermalogica facials from 45 Herbal Aromatherapy facials from $60 Hair removal services and much more! with estheticians Janet Hunter & Lorraine Felix

Sweet Life Fruit Company

With each of our luxurious facial treatments, receive a complimentary skin analysis and product samples!

Call for an appointment, or purchase a gift certificate today!

Gift Baskets, Fruit Baskets & Flowers Delivered on Maui or shipped worldwide. Sweet Life Fruit Co. 808-27SWEET (277-9338) or (6629338) www.mauifruitbasket.com

PIMP YOUR RIDE Let Wiki Wash & Lube. Full Service Car Wash.

Express Detailing, Express Oil Changes 1203 Keawe St., Lahaina, Open 7 Days, 661-9274

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VIAGRA

BLUE BAMBOO Chinese Medical Center & Spa

244-6778 2099 Wells St., Wailuku