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DECEMBER 18, 2003

CONTENTS

VOLUME 7 • ISSUE 25

COVER STORY 10

Holiday Gift Guide Or, how to make more people like you Compiled by Sam Campos and Anthony Pignataro

LOCAL NEWS 5

‘Suitable For Habitation’ As islands go, Kaho’olawe is the bomb

by Anthony Pignataro

Hottest Beachwear on Maui Custom Orders Wholesale Prices

OP ED 8 HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE! - P. 10

Time for Democrats to rally around Dean by Ted Rall

SURF & SPORTS 9

DEPARTMENTS

Cancel The Primaries

The College Kid Helena Suehiro does well at Honolua Bay

by Michael Labb

DINING

4 LETTERS

24 Buzz’s Wharf

4 EH BRAH!

Boy, do they have good prawns

by Ted Fawcett

6 COCONUT WIRELESS

A&E

6 OVERHEARD...

29Return Of The King

7 NEWS OF THE WEIRD

Paia • 12 Baldwin Ave. • 579-9266

Director Peter Jackson talks about J.R.R. Tolkien

by Cole Smithey

9 TIDES & TIMES

www.mauigirlbeachwear.com

FILM CRITIQUE

26 DINING LISTINGS

30 Alternative DVDs

37 PURE VOLUME

The No-Brainer Xmas Gifts

by Cole Smithey

43 PERSONALS

DAY&NIGHT 31Movie Capsules & Times

44 CLASSIFIED LISTINGS

32Maui Film Festival’s FirstLight 34this week’s picks 36Da Kine Calendar 38The Grid

45 KOZMIC BREEZE 46 HOLOHOLO GIRL 48 BACK SIDE

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office (808) 661–3786 • fax (808) 661–0446

www.mauitime.com

Editor: Anthony Pignataro anthony@mauitime.com

Director of Advertising: Jeff Onderko jeff@mauitime.com

Associate Editor: Samantha Campos sam@mauitime.com

Display Account Executive: Katy Leahey katy@mauitime.com

Contributing Writers: Ted Fawcett, Spike Fuqua, Joe Gatto, Michael Labb, Koz McKev, Ted Rall, Chuck Shepherd, Cole Smithey

Classified Advertising: Brad Chambers brad@mauitime.com

Photography: Sean M. Hower, Kirsten Guenther

Office Assistants: Melissa McHerron, Becky Spector

Interns: Kellie Holliday, Jaime Jackson

General Manager: Jennifer Russo jen@mauitime.com

Art Director: Rudi King rudi@mauitime.com

Web Design: Liko Resources webmaster@likoresources.com

Production Assistant: Debbie Belle, Wendy Higa

Publisher: Tommy Russo tommy@mauitime.com

MauiTime Weekly is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2003 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. Maui Time Weekly may be distributed only by MauiTime Weekly’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime Weekly is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime Weekly, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime Weekly are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime Weekly.

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Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Thursday 5pm Circulation: 11,000 copies of the MauiTime Weekly

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

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DECEMBER 18, 2003

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Your recent story “The Never-Ending Battle” (Dec. 4) was ridiculous. I’m sick of reading about things like this in your paper. Costco is selling surfboards and gear for less than smaller stores? Good! It’s about time! Welcome to American capitalism. Why shouldn’t people pay less? Someone who wants a more expensive board will go buy one, but for the average person, an average board will do just fine. Thanks for giving me a heads-up on Costco’s offerings. I’ve never been there, but I’ll be sure to get a membership now.

-Darin O’Neill, via email

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Have you ever taken the time to sit in one of Maui’s local hangouts and watch the people who pick up and read your paper?

Well, I have. Are my findings part of some qualitative survey, formative research? No, merely observations of my fellow human kind, who are seemingly in search of one common entity—a good time.

My field notes; 1. People grab Maui Time Weekly 2. Persons immediately turn to Horoscopes, read their own, then proceed to read that of their accompanying friends out loud. After jeers and chuckles, a sudden page turn to the grid clubs listings, followed by movie listings and perhaps a very quick page-by-page flip through to make sure nothing overtly exciting has been overlooked. Then a sigh of disappointment and the paper is a coaster.

Usually in mainland weekly papers such as the SF Weekly you can trust this paper to call a spade a spade and thrust a jaded arrow through the hearts of politically oppressed “news” papers. But having said that, this is Maui, and while there are serious issues to be broached on Maui such as environment, economy, affordable housing, development and Native

Hawaiian Sovereign Rights, there seem to be enough boring papers covering various angles of all these issues repeatedly. And quite frankly, the Maui Time Weekly doesn’t seem to be pushing a more controversial edge on these issues—at least not one that will raise any pious tale feathers.

So then let’s get back to what Maui’s hipsters, hippies, hip-hoppers, and hip shakers are looking for—fun. Where do we go to have fun on Maui? Repeatedly with hope and anticipation, people are looking for the next happening, the fucking hot time we are all looking for, where we can hook up with the most hotties on the island, where we can get laid! We want to know what to do, when to do it, and who will be there.

So yes, there is a community calendar of events. Big deal, that is all fine and dandy. Of course, every event is publicized to sound like it is all that and a bag of chips, but we all know a shitty cake with frosting on it is still a shitty cake with frosting on it. So Maui Time Weekly—I challenge you to really find the bump and grind of Maui’s scene, where is it really, how do you know, who did you ask? Put people in the know about what they really want to know and I guarantee: Not only will the good times roll but so will your papers.

-Anonymous, via email

Maui Time welcomes letters commenting on our coverage. Send your letters to the editor via e-mail (letters@mauitime.com), regular mail (Letters to the Editor, Maui Time Weekly, 658 Front Street, Ste. 126A7278, Lahaina, HI 96761) or fax (808661-0446). Visit our website at www.mauitime.com. Letters will be edited for clarity and length. All correspondence must include your full name, home town and contact info.

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Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less, changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent to “Eh Brah!” c/o Maui Time Weekly, 658 Front Street, Ste. 126A–7278, Lahaina, HI 96761 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com

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DECEMBER 18, 2003

NEWS

This is a heads up to ALL the hauna (stink) “hippies” that continue to pollute the general public’s breathing space in Paia and Lahaina with their body odor and feeble attempts to mask the stench with patchouli oils. Newsflash! It doesn’t cover that funk, it only makes your presence unbearably worse! Washing your shitlocks in a public access beach shower once every planetary alignment does NOT a clean hippy make. Do people who WORK in town a favor and remind yourself that people of European descent who come to the tropics NEED to adhere to the unspoken law of hygiene by bathing DAILY with SOAP followed by antiperspirant or deodorant. Go au’au or go home! Or stay in your tent.

LOCALNEWS

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

‘Suitable For Habitation’ As islands go, Kaho’olawe is the bomb

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U.S. Navy bomb test, 1965 Kaho’olawe is a tiny island seven miles off the coast of Maui. It spans 28,000 acres, gets 20 inches of rain per year, rises to a height of just 1,477 feet and despite a “successful” clean-up effort still contains many tons of unexploded U.S. Navy munitions.

Since the navy gunnery tests have shrouded the island in smoke and mystery for the last five decades, most people know very little about the place. That’s why about 40 people gathered Dec. 9 at the Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary in Kihei to hear Kaleikoa Ka’eo, the culture and education program manager for the state’s Kaho’olawe Island Reserve Commission (KIRC), speak about the island and its future.

“Kaho’olawe is a place that holds great spirituality,” said Kaleikoa, who’s a large and jovial man.

For a thousand years, Hawaiians lived on the island. Of course, back then the island was covered in dense, lush forests—a lot different than the desolate rock pile it is now.

“What we see on the island is less than five percent of what was once there,” said Kaleikoa, who added that Maui itself also has just five percent of its remaining forests.

“Captain Cook brought the first four-legged animals to the island. That’s when the deforestation began.”

Without the forests, rainfall dropped off dramatically. “It’s going to take a long and lengthy process to re-green the island,” he said, adding that any effort to restore Kaho’olawe completely would require a similar re-forestation movement on Maui, since both islands are part of the same hydrological cycle.

But most people know of Kaho’olawe as the place where the navy threw all its unwanted bombs. Back in 1953, when President Dwight

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

Eisenhower ordered that when the swab-jockeys were done with rock, they had to return it to the Hawaiian Territories “suitable for habitation.”

Kaleikoa doesn’t think that’s going to happen, and noted that navy clean-up crews removed just 70 percent of the junk they found on the surface and nine to 10 percent of the stuff beneath the surface—both figures he said were “far below” the numbers promised by the Navy. In addition, after the rare rainstorm, bomblets and other fragments often pop up on roads supposedly swept clean.

But much worse, he noted that the navy didn’t touch any of the unexploded bombs, artillery shells and torpedoes that still litter the surrounding waters. “The island is a perpetual UXO [Unexploded Ordnance] risk,” he said.

Most of the bombing devastated the island’s north shore in the Ahupu area. Though munitions are found all over, including the base camp—“bullets sometimes don’t travel in straight lines”—most of the contamination is at Ahupu. Kaleiko showed a few seconds of footage of the 1965 “Sailor Hat” test, in which the Navy detonated 500 ton TNT charges to gauge the explosive effects on nearby ships.

At Kanapou, currents bring in trash from all over the world—Japanese beer bottles, detergent bottles, broken surfboards, all types of plastic.

And on the south shore, high cliffs plunge into some of the deepest water in the Hawaiian chain. Kaho’olawe also has many beautiful, completely isolated beaches.

“I can’t explain what it means to be the only one on a beach like Makena,” he said.

The cleanup will continue until March, when the Navy finally leaves for good. Kaleika hopes the Navy leaves much of the current base camp in working order, so KIRC and, eventually, the sovereign Hawaiian nation, can move in without a hitch.

“Oh, it has a wonderful cafeteria,” he said. “They serve seven-course dinners there. Of course, that will disappear when the Navy goes.” MTW

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CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 18, 2003

5

LOCALNEWS MONDAY, DEC. 8 Another day, another dollar. Literally.

At least all the Pearl Harbor commemoration stuff is over. Did anyone besides me notice that the day we cried over the dead from Dec. 7, 1941 came just a few hours after a U.S. fighter bombed a village in eastern Afghanistan, killing nine innocent children? Or that yet another U.S. soldier got killed in Iraq on Sunday? I’m just saying… About 1,600 county residents were just saying, too, when they took part in the giant feel-good focus group on Maui’s future, otherwise known as Focus Maui Nui. Much of the results were your standard naïve boilerplate “Why can’t we all get along?” platitudes. “Participants identified that government (and public officials) should enact a vision that would respond to the needs of the whole community (rather than to special interests).”

Sure, right, whatever. Community good, special interests bad. Got it. But more surprising was the dead-on observation that “the disparity between the wealthy and the poor is greater now than ever.” Woohoo!

Class Warfare! Now that’s what I’m talking about! Of course, given the complete inability of government to look beyond the narrow interests that got them into office in the first place, the gulf between rich and poor is just going to get wider.

TUESDAY, DEC. 9 So they killed it. After 12 hours of testimony and discussion, the Maui County Council voted 7-1 to deny the plan by landowners Jim Riley, Peter Martin and developer Kent Smith to build the 254-home Pu’unoa project. Among the problems councilmembers cited—and if these sound

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

familiar, it’s because you read about them here first (“Minimal Government Oversight,” Oct. 23)—were increased traffic, far less affordable housing than advertised and a general feeling of being pissed off that Smith and Co. got the state to fast-track the whole deal, allowing them to bypass normal environmental study requirements and construction standards… Of course, killing the Pu’unoa plan doesn’t mean the landowners and developer won’t build anything on that land.

There is, after all, a road leading up there that no one’s using right now. And Riley and Martin own a lot more than just the Pu’unoa area—they’ve got four, five thousand acres of ancient farmland near Launiupoko they’re just waiting to turn into hundreds, maybe thousands of homes.

COCONUT WIRELESS THE WEEK IN REVIEW

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 10 “Well-known entertainer Richard Hoopii”—I looked him up, he’s some kind of “legendary falsetto singer”—blesses seven new busses bought by Maui Economic Opportunity, Inc. Of course, when I use the word “bought,” I mean “took possession of”— the county actually paid the $672,771 sticker price for the busses. The only thing that would make this news better is if people actually started taking the bus. And the best way to do that is to nail down a little thing I like to call a “schedule.” That way, potential bus-riders know where a particular bus is “going” and what time it will “arrive” at the bus stop… For those of you keeping track at home, today U.S. soldiers followed up on this weekend’s public relations disaster by killing an additional six children in Eastern Afghanistan during an assault on a suspected rebel arms compound.

But we’re still winning, right?

Renaissance Resorts Hawaii donated $50,000 to Habitat for Humanity’s Maui chapter. You know Habitat for Humanity—bunch of volunteers get together with Jimmy Carter as foreman and then they build homes for poor people? You may not know this, but poor people have it tough. Especially on Maui, where they have to look at rich people and their Hummers every damn day. So good job, Marriott and Renaissance Resorts Hawaii. And people say the big resorts don’t look out for their employees!

THURSDAY, DEC. 11 Today in a ceremony in Kula, Marriott and

OVERHEARD...

FRIDAY, DEC. 12 I know they call it the Big Brown Machine, but it looks like United Parcel Service (UPS) has a little bit of a racial problem. Today the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) announced that African American Carlos Harris won a nice $150,000 settlement from the company. Seems the company allegedly fired him from our own Kahului facility for

“WHAT’S THE POSITIVE WORD FOR TODAY? THE POSITIVE WORD FOR TODAY IS ALOHA. GOOD THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU IF YOU THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS.” -A stoned guy talking to a non-stoned guy, Honolua Bay, Dec. 12

“alleged insubordination,” despite allegedly allowing white employees to get away with similar behavior. UPS denied any racism on its behalf, but agreed to pay Harris… All kidding aside, it’s time to get serious about a real problem facing Maui today. This problem—which is reaching epidemic proportions—affects every Maui resident, regardless of religion or socioeconomic status. I am speaking, of course, of the senseless crime that is newspaper theft. The latest victim: The Maui Weekly. “[S]omeone has been going around various distribution points in the upcountry area and stealing Maui Weekly newspapers from stands and throwing them into garbage cans,” stated an unnamed Maui Weekly reporter in that paper’s latest issue.

The article went on to quote Weekly Publisher/Editor in Chief Joseph Sugarman as saying “[W]e are increasing our surveillance of the various target locations and requesting the assistance of the public in reporting to us any suspicious activity.” Now look, I don’t know what “code of honor” the rest of you people live by, but here at Maui Time, when a terrified comrade-in-arms, crying like a little girl, knocks on our door, we look through that little peephole to see who’s there. It’s the least we can do. We know about newspaper theft. We know the pain it inflicts, the feelings of inadequacy and violation. Anyway, since theft against one is a theft against all, we’ve flown in a crack investigative team from Arizona to hunt down and possibly ensnare the “Big Thief” before he strikes again. There are as yet a number of credible reports, but lack verified sightings. Spreading out in two-person squads, the team will monitor a 20-square mile area upcountry. We will, of course, keep you updated as to the progress of their search. Good luck, and God speed.

SATURDAY, DEC. 13 Royal Caribbean Cruises and Princess Cruises admitted their ships “mistakenly” discharged sewage and gray water in Hawaiian waters oh, a dozen times in the last two years, reports yesterday’s Honolulu Advertiser. The discharges are, of course, violations of the voluntary agreements between the cruise lines and the state, but hey—they’re voluntary!

That’s what makes them so great!… Turns out the Big Cat stole all Sugarman’s papers.

Figures. MTW

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NEWS

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LEAD STORY Enraged that his computer was virtually disabled by e-mail spam earlier this year, Charles Booher, 44, of Sunnyvale, Calif., allegedly repeatedly threatened employees of the spammer with torture (castration with a power drill and an ice pick) and murder (using a gun and anthrax spores).

He was arrested in November and admitted to the Reuters news agency that he had “sort of lost (his) cool” at the bombardment of penis-lengthening ads from DM Contact Management. DM’s president blamed a rival company for stealing DM’s e-mail address and said such companies give a bad name to the penis-enlargement business.

RECENT ALARMING HEADLINES (1) “Patrol Car Hit by Flying Outhouse” (an October Milwaukee Journal Sentinel story about Wisconsin trooper Rich Vanko’s squad car being smashed when a truck carrying portable toilets lost one along Interstate 90); (2) “Shatner Frozen Horse-Semen Suit Dismissed” (a July Lexington, Ky., Herald-Leader story about William Shatner’s ex-wife’s accusation that she was being denied divorcesettlement-mandated access to a breeding stallion for her own farm).

THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE Prof. Jeff Meldrum of Idaho State University said recently that, hoaxes aside, there is enough legitimate evidence of Bigfoot to warrant a comprehensive scientific investigation of his existence, once and for all. (National Geographic reported in October that a Texas fingerprint expert, as well as noted chimpanzee researcher Jane Goodall, have said they are certain of Bigfoot’s existence.) And Provo, Utah, explorer Steve Currey is organizing a July 2005 expedition to the North Pole (cost: $21,000 per person) to find the so-called polar “opening” to the hollow center of the Earth, supposedly the kingdom of God where the biblical 10 Lost Tribes reside.

OUR LITIGIOUS SOCIETY A scheduled guest on the Dr. Phil TV program filed a lawsuit in November, claiming it was the show’s producers’ fault that she had an anxiety attack in her quarters right before the show and tried to climb out a second-story window. She fell and shattered her leg so badly that it had to be amputated. And “Wheel of Fortune” contestant Will Wright, 38, filed a lawsuit in October against Pat Sajak for hurting Wright’s back by jumping onto and bearhugging him to celebrate Wright’s having just won $48,000 during a 2000 show.

READERS’ CHOICE As part of a hazing ritual for a new Ku

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

Frayed Edges?

We Can Fix That.

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

Klux Klan member near Johnson City, Tenn., in November, several Klansmen would shoot the man with paintball guns while another simultaneously rapid-fired a 9mm pistol overhead to make the pledge believe he was being shot with a real gun. According to police, one of the bullets, fired straight up in the air by Klansman Gregory Allen Freeman, 45, came down through the skull of Klansman Jeffery S. Murr, 24, who was hospitalized in critical condition. Freeman was arrested.

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SECRET LIVES In August, residents learned that the county librarian in Concrete, Wash., offered her spare-time services as the S&M dominatrix Lady Jane Grey in nearby Bellingham. Despite her credentials and passion as a librarian, her contract was not renewed in November. And in August, Shannon Williams, 37, a teacher for the Berkeley (Calif.) Unified School District, was arrested for misdemeanor prostitution.

Williams, who was previously scheduled to be on a leave of absence this school year, said in September she would challenge the prostitution law as unconstitutional.

RECURRING THEMES Just as the towns of Kennesaw, Ga., and Virgin, Utah, had done, the 50-home village of Geuda Springs, Kan., through its town council, voted in November to require every household to own a working firearm, for “emergency management.” (Later, the mayor vetoed the ordinance, but it will be reconsidered in February.) And for the second time in 12 months, news broke in November that a python had crushed and swallowed a human.

(Unlike the devouring of a small boy in Lamontville, South Africa, in 2002, the body of 38-year-old Basanti Tripura, of the Rangaman district in Bangladesh, was downed only to the waist before villagers killed the snake.)

LEAST COMPETENT PERSON Officials in Lakeville, Ind., weren’t certain, but it appeared that a cause of a fatal Oct. 10 car crash on U.S. 31 might have been that Dale Brenon, 50 (a private detective who survived in critical condition), was working on his laptop computer while driving. (The driver of the other car was killed.) A police spokesman said the computer was thrown clear of the collision but was turned on, and a program was running.

ALTERNATE UNIVERSE In October, former Massachusetts day-care center proprietor Gerald Amirault, who is believed to be the last person still imprisoned on the basis of now widely discredited, fantastical, heavily coached, child-sex-abuse testimony from the 1980s, finally won parole and will be freed in April. Officials have long refused to cut him slack because of his defiant, 18-year insistence that he never molested a single child. He noted that his sociology textbook for an inprison college course mentioned his own case as an example of that era’s hysteria-driven prosecutions of accused child molesters.

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 18, 2003

7

OPED

BY TED RALL

Cancel The Primaries Time for Democrats to rally around Dean Barring some unforeseeable misstep, Gov. Howard Dean will be the Democratic nominee. Patrick Buchanan thinks so. So does Al Gore, who acknowledged Dean’s soar in the polls with his endorsement.

“Whether it is inspiring enthusiasm at the grassroots, and promising to remake the Democratic Party as a force for justice and progress and good in America,” said President Gore. “Whether it is a domestic agenda that gets our nation back on track, or whether it is protecting us against terrorists and strengthening our nation in the world, I have come to the conclusion that one candidate clearly now stands out.”

Straight up. It’s time for the increasingly irrelevant influence of centrist-right Al From’s Democratic Leadership Council to decide which is more important: keeping control of the Democrats or electing one to the presidency. Dean is the only contender with the cash, charisma and cajones to expel Generalissimo El Busho from the White House—but he needs a unified party to pull it off.

Bush spent $100 million to beat John McCain in the 2000 GOP primaries.

(Kinko’s must’ve really soaked him on those nasty faxes claiming that the Arizona senator had fathered an illegitimate child with an African-American prostitute.) Thanks to a unified Republican Party, Bush is running unopposed this time—and saving his projected $170 million war chest for a barrage of TV spots between September and November.

“Even if Dean, the former Vermont governor, is able to match Bush dollar for dollar, he would start the general election far

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DECEMBER 18, 2003

NEWS

behind the president,” reports The Christian Science Monitor. “Bush is hoarding his cash until it is clear who the Democratic nominee will be, while Dean, who has raised more than $25 million so far, has to spend furiously just to win the nomination.”

Unless he doesn’t.

What if the other Democratic candidates came together at a joint press conference to announce that they were dropping out of the race to endorse Dean? If nothing else, cashstarved states would love it—the average primary costs taxpayers $7 million. More to the point, it would save Dean roughly $75 million— enough to close the money gap with Bush.

A more ephemeral but bigger benefit would be the message that a unified Democratic party could send to the electorate. Canceling the primaries would convey that Democrats are no longer a clumsy amalgamation of special interests. We’re organized, it would say. Fear provides plenty of impetus for our new singlemindedness. We’re afraid of George Bush—so afraid that we ought to set aside our normal partisan bickering. Our great country has been through a lot, but it may not survive another four years of reckless wars based on lies and fought without a plan, a giant sucking sound stealing millions of jobs overseas or trillions of dollars in unaffordable tax cuts for the wealthy.

Rich or poor, black or white, liberal or conservative, anyone who loves America must set aside their usual biases and prejudices to open their eyes to the truth: Bush is not just a Republican. Not only is his radical “neoconservative” Administration illegitimate, it is neofascist. Patriots must support the candidate with the best chance of defeating him, whoever he is. That man is Howard Dean.

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Howard Dean—now or never The outcome of the Democratic primaries is now a foregone conclusion. Why should Dean and his fellow Democrats waste more than $100 million between them—some estimates rise as high as $150 million—to beat each other up over relatively minor differences of policy and tone? The DNC ought to read the business pages. Ours is an age of monopoly and amalgamation. Bigger wins over better except when

better happens to also be big. Divided Democrats can’t beat unified Republicans.

Rumor has it that Ralph Nader, whom I respect deeply as a man of integrity and intelligence and for whom I voted in 1996 and 2000, is mulling over another run. Nader should take a pass this time. Just this once, let’s pull the left together. We can go back to tearing each other apart in December ‘04. I promise. MTW

SURF&SPORTS

BY MICHAEL LABB

The College Kid

PHOTO: ASP KAREN

Helena Suehiro does well at Honolua Bay Helena Suehiro had a Thursday she’ll never forget. The 18-year-old University of Hawaii freshman from Haiku had the experience of a lifetime in just one eighthour period.

She had qualified for the special Billabong Pro trials heat last week at Honolua Bay, when she finished second at the Maui Scholastic Surf Championships last April at Lahaina Harbor. That got her a spot in the prestigious $60,000 Billabong Pro. Sounds great, but the only problem was the contest would only go when the surf was good at Honolua, which meant anytime between Dec. 8 and 20. Suehiro, being a full-time education major at UH, was a 20-minute plane flight and a onehour car-ride away.

She finally got the call at 6:45 a.m. on Dec. 11. Somehow, she made it to the bay by 10:30 for her 11 a.m. heat. In fact, if the contest had come a day later, Suehiro would have been a no-show—that day she had final exams in two classes, math and family development.

Her late arrival allowed her to catch just one practice wave. The other five girls in her heat had a chance to practice all morning and get used to the four to fivefoot surf (eight to 12-foot wave faces). In addition, while surfing was the only competitive sport for most of the other girls, Suehiro earned varsity letters in crosscountry, swimming and track while a King Kekaulike student. She is still the Maui Interscholastic League record-hold-

er in the 500-meter freestyle swim.

In the 30-minute trials, Suehiro caught the first wave three minutes into the heat. She dropped down the eight-foot face, came back up and hit the lip, raced around a breaking section and made two more snap turns to earn a 6.5, her highest score of the heat. It was enough to vault her into the main event against a pair of Australians, five-time defending world champion Layne Beachley and former world champion Pauline Menczer.

One hour later, Suehiro was back in the water with Beachley and Menczer. The talkative Suehiro could be seen talking to her competitors in the water prior to the start of their heat.

“She was so cute,” Beachley said, laughing.

“She was just happy to be out there. She was asking questions, ‘how many waves can you catch, any rules I need to know?’”

“I was asking them if they ever get nervous,” Suehiro said. “They told me not to be nervous, the waves are so good, anything can happen. I was so nervous. After Pauline caught the second wave, Layne said to me, ‘she’s the Queen of Barrels, she’s the Pocket Rocket.’”

When Suehiro caught her first wave, she did a couple of off-the-lips on a six-foot face, raced down the line and made one more lip smack for a 2.5.

But then on the next wave, Beachley made a late drop and pulled into a big cylinder. She was swallowed up, and then an amazing six seconds later, she re-appeared, and a big cheer came from the Honolua cliffs. She received a perfect 10, the first in her 15-year surfing career.

Suehiro was up close and personal for the historic ride. “I was paddling back out,”

Helena Suehiro Suehiro said. “I was getting ready to duck-dive, thought I was going to die. It was the sickest wave I’ve ever seen, it was crazy, so cool.”

Suehiro surfed courageously, pulling into several closing Honolua barrels. Her two-wave score of 8.25—though no match for Beachley’s highest two-wave total of the day (16.75)—was outstanding for a full-time college student.

“I am so stoked!” she exclaimed after hearing she would pocket $2,000 for her trials win.

“This is the sickest day I’ve ever surfed, it’s crazy.

I got the first barrel I ever made it out of, I got

my body beat, my board dinged, my back is scratched, but it was so fun, it was all worth it.”

Later, she talked Boerner into giving her a ride back to the airport so she could get home and study. When she returned to campus, she found her friends had hung a banner in her 7th floor dorm room at Mokihana Tower saying, “Helena, Go Pro Now!” “I started laughing, it was really funny,” Suehiro said. “But I’m just going to stick to going to school now. I want to come back to Maui and teach and coach.” MTW

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 18, 2003

9

There was a time, not so long ago, when Christmas wasn’t so commercial and crass as it is now. Back then, Christmas was about giving, not getting—it was about making sure your friends, relatives and even perhaps a few total strangers were safe and happy. It was most certainly not about worrying whether you were finally going to score that new 32-inch picturein-picture TV set. Back then, Christmas was all about love and peace and being generous.

Thank God those days are over. We can only imagine how boring life must have been. Today there’s little love in the world, virtually no peace and corporate boards of directors usually feel that being generous to people runs directly counter to the bottom line. So why fight it? That’s why we at Maui Time developed—at considerable expense, mind you—this totally comprehensive guide to what to get people, no matter how much of a cheapskate you may be.

$$$ = EXPENSIVE $$ = MID RANGE $ = CHEAP 10

DECEMBER 18, 2003

COVER STORY

(Or, how to make more people like you) Compiled by Sam Campos and Anthony Pignataro

$$$ Tattoo The gift that lasts a lifetime, the tattoo you get or give to your mom will show her that she didn’t raise no commitmentphobe! The big heart with “Mom” banner tattoo will not only honor the most important woman in your life, but will make you that much more attractive to the most gullible of the opposite sex. You know, the ones who still believe that having a healthy relationship with your mother automatically means you’re a well-adjusted and functional member of society. (price varies depending on tattoo & size: $50-$500 or more, check your local tattoo shop)

with the option of kneading and vibrating massage, jet-action bubbles, a water jet or a combination of all of the above.

That’s a lot of massage options. The deal includes the massager, a pumice stone, scrubbing brush, soft touch massager and arch massage. ($89.95, Sharper Image, Queen Ka’ahumanu Center)

$ Bonny Doon If nothing else, Mom needs to relax.

And how does Mom relax? Like most everyone else, she gets wasted. And since you’ve decided that Mom isn’t worth you dropping more than one Andy Jackson, you gotta go with a bottle of the Bonny Doon. It’s an earthy, working wine. It sets the standard. ($15-20, available pretty much everywhere)

Mom Awww, Mom. Who could forget Mom? Mom’s the greatest. Mom labored through labor for us. That thing she does when she’s mad, saying your full name— first, middle and last—really loud, that kinda grates on us, but mostly Mom’s great. Trouble is, Mom’s been around a while. She’s already got lots of stuff. That means you have to be creative.

$$ Waterfall Foot Spa What mom wouldn’t want something that “soothes your aching feet with a cascade of warm water?” Especially one

Dad

Dad’s a tough one. He’s the guy who seems to spend all his life downing cans of Bud Lite in front of John Madden, yet he also somehow manages to keep the lawn mowed and the toilet flushing. The trick is a gift with style and class—something to offset Pop’s belching crassness—yet not enough to offend his honorable, workingclass background.

it cool, but no one knows better than Dad how warm beer is a crime against humanity. Besides, it has all these little Maui petroglyphs on it. ($2.39, Longs Drugstore)

$ Prosperity Buddha

$$ Pillbox Timer

Who says prosperity costs a lot? You get a golden, albeit plastic, Buddha, a label that calls him the “Prosperity Buddha” and a plastic bag to carry him around. And brother, your fake-pop needs all the help he can get. ($2.25, Cost Less Imports, Maui Mall)

Let’s face facts. She’s getting on in years. She forgets things. She gets mad for no reason—wait, She always did that.

Well, she forgets things. And like most in-laws who get, well, really old, they gotta take a few pills. Vitamin pills, pep pills, stuff like that. Or maybe she’s on the Rush Limbaugh prescription drug plan and has to take, oh, gallons of pills.

This little box has eight compartments for whatever cures you, and flashing alarms to tell you which pills to pop and when. ($14.99, Radio Shack, Queen Ka’ahumanu Center)

$$$ Zenith 50” Plasma HDTV Ready Television This IS your father’s television set. This is the one he’s been dreaming about for years. Of course it has picture-in-picture; of course it has noise free operation. This is plasma, man! It’s the future! It’s HDTVready! You get him this, he will love you no matter what you do—crash the car, lose the family savings at the racetrack, get that girl pregnant. Just stay the hell away from him when the game’s on. ($6,999.97, Costco)

$ Christmas Ornaments Let her know she’s part of your family by giving her Christmas ornaments. There are lots to choose from, but I think you’ll agree that the one that has Santa Claus wearing board shorts and a lei made of holly and reclining in a beach chair while talking on a cell phone says “I’ve Learned to Accept Your Existence” like no other. ($4.99, ABC Stores, island-wide)

$$ Skull & Crossbones Men’s Pajama Pant For the Ozzie Osbourne in your dad. I mean, he’s already taking all of those pills, why not contribute to his aging rockstar status by helping him look the part, too?

And these Skull & Crossbones Pajama pants are so comfy and masculine that he may never take them off! Ewww. Sorry Mom. ($19.99, Hot Topic, Queen Ka’ahumanu Center)

Father-in-law

$ Coolie

For all the bad press in-laws get, your father-in-law is actually a pretty cool dude. He laughs a little too loudly, hits your arm a little too hard, but is an allaround decent chap. It would be nice if he was a bit more specific on how he made his money, but then again, the less you know, the less you have to tell the grand jury.

If this gift says nothing else—and it doesn’t—it says that you’re looking out for Pop’s wellbeing. It may just be a little cozy that fits around a beer can, keeping

$$$ Antique Hand Carved Teak Entry Gate Give him something to do around his house so he doesn’t feel the need to hang at yours. The gate is 78 inches wide by 93-and-a-half inches tall.

There’s even a wall available on request. ($4,750, Serendipity Furniture Gallery)

$$ Silver Oak Cabernet Aren’t you always saying the guy is such a label-whore? Aren’t you always saying he’s just a cheap lout who defines himself by country club membership, fancy slacks and plasma TV? Didn’t you just say—wait, he’s got a plasma TV? Damn, those things are sick! Oh, that would be so cool to have one of them… oh yeah, we were talking about your father-in-law.

Anyway, this is the wine for guys like him—fancy name, fancy price tag, but not nearly as much substance as advertised. ($80, any local wine merchant)

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Mother-in-law Ditto all the above, except she hates you.

$$$ Shark Dive Maui Oh, this is so your mother-in-law. Not only does she get to go SCUBA diving, but she gets to go SCUBA diving in a tank filled with sharks! She’ll feel right at home! Ha ha, just kidding. We kid because we love. Anyway, they’ve got your blacktip reef sharks, your whitetip reef sharks, your gray reef sharks and, on occasion, a tiger shark to mix things up.

And you’re down there, like, 20 or 30 minutes. Is it any wonder the aquarium’s acting general manager says this gift will “create lasting memories for all those involved?” ($190, Maui Ocean Center)

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Brother Everybody’s got a brother. Well, except for orphans. Then again, they don’t have parents either, so not having a brother is pretty low on their “Why everything sucks” list. Anyway, brothers are really good at one thing: being a royal pain in the ass. Adjust accordingly.

$$$ 2003 Ferrari Enzo So he keeps hitting on your girlfriends.

Maybe it’s time he needs some other distractions, like this limited production compact coupe/hatchback. He’ll be so busy looking for parts and affordable insurance for this beauty, you and your girlfriends can finally have some peace.

Except now he’ll be the cute brother with

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 18, 2003

11

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$$ Lighted BBQ Filet Fork

FREE GIFT PACK

If your brother hasn’t already begun a long life of barbecuing steaks and burgers, you need to get him on his way with this space-age fork. Not only does it do all the regular fork jobs, but it’s electronic. It’s an electronic fork! Just stick into meat—any meat, really—and it will tell you if it’s done. And it’s got a flashlight, to make any night grilling deals a snap. ($29.95, Herrington catalog)

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$ “Girls of Golf” balls Even if your brother doesn’t golf, these will get him started. Each ball has a beautiful bikini-clad woman painted on it.

True, repeatedly slamming a picture of a beautiful woman with a metal club is disturbing, but then again, so is your brother! Everybody wins! ($6.99, ABC Stores, island-wide)

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H.I.S.S. RACK PADS was $22 now $11.95

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DECEMBER 18, 2003

COVER STORY

She gets to go shopping and you get her out of your hair. If you plan it right, you can even hit on her hot friends that come over while she’s gone. And she can’t get mad, because you got her this fabulous trip! What a good brother you are. ($500+, check your local travel agency)

$$ 1995 Nicolas Palm D’or Brute Rose A wine guy I know said this little gem is as seductive as Sophia Loren applying a deep shade of lipstick. Not that you’re trying to seduce your sister. That would be very, very wrong. But a fine wine—and believe us, this is a fine wine—rarely goes over bad with the siblings. ($135, Mr. Wine)

Who could be grumpy in the rain with an umbrella like this? And, her hot friends will think you’re sweet for worrying about your sister getting caught in the potential downpours that are so common on Maui.

Oh wait, we are talking about your sister here. Yeah, but she is so difficult to buy for and well, you know the old saying: When in doubt, it’s Care Bears! ($14, Hot Topic, Queen Kaahumanu Center)

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$ Care Bears Grumpy Bear Umbrella

was $85 now $69.95

RASH GUARD

Sisters are great. You tease ‘em, pick on ‘em, fight with ‘em, and still they love you.

That, and their friends are often hot chicks. So get her something good.

Sister

gaudy. Okay, it’s rather extremely gaudy, what with all its white gold and yellow diamond festoonery. But the boy can learn from this pen! If the kid squints really, really hard, he can see a copy of Copernicus’ original sketch showing the Earth revolving around the Sun engraved on the pen’s nib. ($5,150, Mont Blanc, Shops at Wailea)

$$ Jeff Gordon® NASCAR® phone

Son What to get the boy… He’ll take over the family farm when you’ve passed on, you know. Yup, Junior’s growing up into a fine young man. Gotta get a good present for the namesake, the one who’ll be running things when you’re gone. Unless he screws up again like that time with the cat and the firecrackers…

$$$ Nicolas Copernicus Fountain Pen It goes without saying this is another of those Limited Edition things. Yeah, it’s rather

You want to get the boy something that’ll get him used to all those highpowered phone calls he’ll be making when he’s all grown up and busy making you proud. This phone will also allow him to hang on to his youthful whimsy. It comes equipped with the full sound effects ringer including engine revving, taking the checkered flag, crowd cheering and skidding into pits. Hmm, kinda symbolic, you know, of what he’ll be facing in the years to come. But that’s not all! It also comes with a $19.99 value heated mug! Which you can keep for yourself! ($59.99, Radio Shack, island-wide)

Daughter $ Coconut Money Bank If the kid’s gonna be taking over the business, then he’s got to learn some responsibility. And this is one hell of a bargain—with the emphasis on the word “bargain” instead of the word “hell.” It’s not only a coconut carved to look like a seated gorilla, but it’s a bank! There’s a slot in his belly for coins. ($1.99, ABC Stores, island-wide)

Pretty much the same deal as with the son, except she may be dating guys. What kind of guys? Remember how you were at that age? Yeah, guys like that. Scary.

$$$ Diamond Tiara Who deserves this more than your little princess? This tiara of diamonds set in platinum that converts to a choker will let her know that you treasure her, and plan on keeping her in shackles until she’s 30. She’ll feel just like Miss America! ($65,000, Tiffany & Co., The Shops at Wailea or Whalers Village)

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 18, 2003

13

$$ Car Tinting Your daughter will think you’re the coolest if you customize her souped-up Honda with a little window tinting.

Besides, now all those seedy 16-year-old guys can’t stare and ogle your little girl while she’s driving to church or to the library late night. She’s such a good girl. (upwards from $200, check your local auto tint shop)

$ Rainbow Brite Wind Chime, or Care Bear Cousins Playful Heart Monkey Wind Chime Yeah. Could be sold out already, so you better act fast. This gift just has Future Family Heirloom written all over it! Your daughter will be so touched she may be speechless, and isn’t that effect priceless? ($10.99, Hot Topic, Queen Ka’ahumanu Center)

such a statue. They barely have room to house their 32-inch picture-in-picture TV set, new DVD player, VCR, digital cable box and Playstation 2. But your idiot cousin, well, he’s different. If anyone you know would appreciate this, it’s him. ($2,900, Serendipity Furniture Gallery, Queen Ka’ahumanu Center)

$$ Ice Dozer This is it. The number one, best way to get rid of that thick ice that cakes your windshield during these cold winter months. This is no flimsy scraping knife. This is the Ice Dozer—it tells ice to get the hell off your windshield pronto. Who needs a blade—this baby uses a plow to clear a seven-inch swath from the plexi. And its teeth will pulverize even the hardest frozen surface. What’s that?

You say we don’t have an icing problem out here on Maui? You want to tell that to your idiot cousin? ($19.95, Herrington catalog)

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14

DECEMBER 18, 2003

COVER STORY

Idiot Cousin He’s the guy who splits face cards at the Black Jack table. He’s the guy who talks loudly when you’re standing in line at KMart. He’s the guy who always has money, but never seems to have a job. You hate the fact that you’re related to the guy. Get him a gift? You’d like to get him the hell out of the Western Hemisphere. But it’s Christmas, and everyone else is getting him something, so…

$$$ HC Shar Dolphin Statue Not many people appreciate having giant, hand-carved wooden statues of three dolphins—mama, papa and little baby dolphin— in their homes. Most people like dolphins fine where they are, namely, in the ocean. And not many people have the room in their house for

$ Tropical Cocktails The least you could do is get your idiot cousin to start doing something useful.

This is a small hardbound pocketbook with gallons of colorful cocktail recipes.

It’s got all the usuals, like Mai Tais and Margaritas and Pina Coladas (Long Island Iced Tea? Since when is Long Island considered “tropical?”) But it also has some new ones, like the very fruity Ernest Hemingway, which requires 1 1/2 ounces white rum, 1/4 ounce maraschino, half of a lime and 1/4 ounce grapefruit juice. ($6.95, Tommy Bahama’s, Shops at Wailea)

$$$ Tiki It’s about five feet tall, a bit knarled, doesn’t say a lot and is quite heavy. If that isn’t your husband, I don’t know what is. ($599, Hawaiian House, Queen Ka’ahumanu Center)

$$ Happy Bunny Pillow You’ve tried anger. You tried intervention. Then you just married the guy.

What’s it gonna take? Try subtlety—go straight for the Happy Bunny “It worries me how dumb you are” pillow. Let him rest his head on that for a while. ($16, Hot Topic, Queen Ka’aumanu Center)

$ Kasugai Roasted Hot Green Peas Who wouldn’t want a bag of these spicy Wasabi peas—fast becoming the preeminent bar food around? Especially these peas, billed on the bag as “A Happy Present from the Earth.” The Earth! Who could, in good conscience, turn down such a Happy gift from The Earth? Oh, the Earth. So generous, so loving. Ever wonder how much the Earth loves you?

Now you know. Besides, this stuff is kinda healthy. Guy could stand to lose a few pounds… ($2.79, ABC Stores, island-wide)

Husband You’ve been together for nearly a decade now, you’ve got your routines down and still he can’t remember your parents’ wedding anniversary. Then again, considering the weight he’s put on and the hair he’s growing in his ears, remembering anniversaries is the least of your worries.

Wife Ahh, the little woman. Remember how cute and happy and lovable she was when you asked her to marry you? Yeah. Too bad she ain’t that way anymore. But, people age. Of course, those salad tongs you gave her last year didn’t help.

$$$ Necklace of 347 Faceted Diamond Beads Trust me, your wife wants this necklace. Believe me, I know. This necklace…

Photo: Nolwenn Roussel

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TEAHUPO’O APRIL 29, 2003

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 18, 2003

15

what? You want to know how I know?

Oh. Um, well, you see, I mean, I’m just guessing, I suppose. I mean, I haven’t actually asked your wife… okay, so we had lunch that one time and she mentioned—look, it’s not what you think.

It’s no big deal, I swear. Your wife is a cool chick, we had a few laughs together. Yeah, um, I mean, it’s not like, um, she calls me up after you take off to work, then I go over to your place, mix a few dry martinis and then she and I jump in that great hot tub you just installed last month… Look, just buy her the damn necklace. ($1.8 million, Tiffany & Co., Shops at Wailea)

$$ Magnetic Therapy Eye Mask Not only does this thing include a “hot + cold gel insert,” but it’s embedded with eight therapeutic 1,000 gauss unipolar neodymium magnets. Wow—Unipolar!

Those are way better than bipolar magnets! Soothes headaches, reduces puffiness. At the very least, the mask keeps her from having to fall asleep looking at you. ($19.95, Sharper Image, Queen Ka’ahumanu Center)

$ A clean blood test

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attractive, but you don’t want it in your house—like your exhusband. It costs a lot, but doesn’t really do much—again, much like your ex-husband. And it seems profound and tranquil, yet makes you want to go to the bathroom a lot—just like your ex-husband! ($750, Cost Less Imports, Maui Mall)

$$ Bike Down The Volcano

Ex-Husband Used to be a woman’s greatest nemesis, but it seems like more exes are being tolerated, if not maintaining outright “friend” status. Go figure. The trick here is to get something modest, though not generic; special, but not so special he thinks you want him back. Ewww. That would be gross.

$$$ Hawaii Fountain It’s what it is: a bunch of rocks with a few small plants growing out of them with a constant trickling of water. It’s

One of the better Maui activities out there, this one loans you a Gary Fisher mountain bike, all the supporting gear you need, hauls you up Haleakala, then lets you ride down at your leisure. There’s no pre-packaged, single file line of dorks on bikes to contend with. And there’s always the possibility that he’ll goof up and end up mangling his arm. ($44.99$84.99, Haleakala Bike Co.)

$ Dance Maker The Wave It’s not good English, but sure is good fun. Dance Maker The Wave uses lots of pretty flashing lights and sounds to teach you how to “Boogie Down!” It’s sure to

come in handy now that the dude is out playing the field. It also has “lots of dance modes to chose from”—we’re assuming more than your ex’s current Lame, Ultra Lame and I’ve Seen ShellShocked Combat Vets With Only One Leg Do Better modes. ($19.88, Longs Drugs, island-wide)

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Ukuleles starting at $ 3199 Guitar Amps starting at $ 5999

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Bass Amps starting at $ 7999

NOT ALL PRODUCTS EXACTLY AS SHOWN

Play now with 90 days same as cash No money down O.A.C. Sale ends 12/31/03 111 Hana Hwy. • Kahului 871-1141 •www.ukes.com

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$ “Your Legs Are Too Long” This is a new book by Deborah Kathryn Hargis, Ed.D. It chronicles the author’s experiences with “six professionally successful men” who couldn’t get it up in bed. She calls her book “a revealing look at what can be done to face up to and move past the potentially life-threatening effects” of erectile dysfunction. If nothing else, it’ll bring back old memories. ($19.95, Amazon.com)

Ex-Wife Ditto all the above, except court-ordered child support doesn’t count as a gift.

$$$ Sony Digital Camera Housing Straightforward and to the point. This is simply a clear plastic housing that you wrap around your digital camera, allowing you to take the thing underwater and get some really spectacular shots of fish and eels and other stuff beneath the waves. What, you say she doesn’t already have a digital camera? Even better. ($250, Longs Drugstore, island-wide)

thing is the cheapest way to Hawaii-ify just about anything. But they’re cheap and they look nice when perched on your dresser—just like your boyfriend! In fact, get him two or three, so he can have races! ($10.99 each, ABC Stores, island-wide)

$ Baby Honu Saves the Day Since you’re probably one of those women who wants to “change” your boytoy into someone respectable, there’s no better way to start than by simple reeducation. Seriously. This is how the North Vietnamese got rid of wicked capitalism when they took over the South.

This large-type hardbound book, which is about an infant sea turtle who, well, saves the day, has lots of pretty pictures and nice large type. It’s sure to soften any guy—or turn him into a drooling, malleable slug. Either way, you win. Watch for the sequel Baby Honu Gets a visit from Old Man Tiger Shark. ($10.99, ABC Stores, island-wide)

Boyfriend Whether you’ve been together three weeks or three years, there’s no feeling in the world like shopping for your special man. But he likes to do so much: surfing, fishing, dirt bike riding, carpentry, beekeeping. Where do you even begin?

$$$ Tantric Classes Transform your sexual relationship with the good old-fashioned Eastern wisdom of this spiritual science. Convince him that it’s sex school and that they’ll want HIM to be the teacher. Then give yourself props when he comes back threatening to beat Sting’s marathon record. (We have no idea how much this stuff costs, just go ask some Upcountry New Ager)

$$ Toy Cars with Surfboards glued to the roofs

$$ Texas A&M “Texas Aggies” rug Because you just don’t care. ($149 for the 3’ X 5’ version; $225 for the 4’ X 6’ model, Herrington catalog)

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There’s a fancier, trademarked name for these toys which I would have totally written down if the ABC Stores people weren’t getting all nervous and following me around and giving me dirty looks every time I wrote something down in my notebook, but you get the idea. These are diecast toy cars—Ford Thunderbirds, Mini Coopers, Shelby Cobras—with colorful toy surfboards glued to the roofs or windshields. I guess gluing a surfboard to some-

Boyfriend you’re about to break up with Okay, yeah… um, yeah. Oh boy. How long have you been with this guy? Two years?!

What are you waiting for—dump his ass.

But you don’t want to just yet because he said he was sorry the other night so there’s still hope. But then again, why didn’t he say he was sorry for all those other times? Oh yeah, he’s totally gone. Maybe.

$$$ Hand-carved Volcanic Stone Hindu Goddess This thing is huge, heavy and, really rather unattractive. Give him this thing and you won’t need to worry about shoving him off. ($695, Serendipity Furniture Gallery, Queen Kahumanu Center)

$$ Sing in the Shower With SpongeBob SquarePants Water-resistant AM/FM radio dressed up to look like SpongeBob is in the shower. Think of it as something he can look at in the shower, since you won’t be there anymore. You won’t be there anymore, right? ($19.99, Radio Shack, Queen Ka’ahumanu Center)

$ Mail your own Message in a Bottle Even the densest goober will get that you’re casting him off when he opens this little baby. You get a plastic bottle, a colorful piece of paper inside to write your message, some small toy shells and a miniature palm tree to include inside, a mailing label stuck to the outside of the bottle and enough tape to hold the cork in the bottle to keep your message from falling out in transit through the many harsh currents that make up the ocean also known as the U.S. Postal Service. Two First Class Stamps not included. ($4.59, ABC Stores, island-wide)

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Girlfriend

$$$ Sterling Silver Wedding Set Fountain Pens Be warned, this gift is not for the faint of heart. You give her this, pal, and she’ll look at you different, no question. It starts as a gift-set of two sterling silver fountain pens, but if you look careful, the rings around each pen’s midpoint detach, all set for the wedding vows. ($2,200, Mont Blanc, Shops at Wailea)

You’ve gone out a few times. Slept with her, oh, no more than a dozen times. Even called her once, just for laughs. But now it’s Christmas, and she’s expecting a present. Something that shows… thought.

Sucks to be you, dude.

Holiday Half-Price

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$$$ Trip to Las Vegas This is the gift that’s really for YOU—the gambling, the drinking, the strip clubs— and SHE gets a trip to Vegas. Uh, just keep her away from the Elvis Chapel and you’re all good. There’s always that drive-thru divorce place anyway. (upwards from $1,000, check your local travel agency)

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$$ Paul Frank Handbag

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Oh, how the chicks dig Paul Frank. Cool guy, too. Had lunch with him once.

Actually, he came over and sat with my friends and I. It was a couple years back, when I ran with the cool crowd in Costa Mesa, California. Nice place that Costa Mesa. And nice guy, that Paul Frank. Said he liked my watch. Of course, that watch broke a few weeks ago, the piece of garbage, but the memories will last a lifetime. ($54.88, Shapers of Maui, Queen Ka’ahumanu Center)

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Ah, the gift that says, “I’m dark, I’m edgy—let’s snuggle!” You can let her know that you’re still the bad boy she adores but you’ve also got a soft side, too. You know, before you dump her on Valentine’s Day. ($49.99, Hot Topic, Queen Ka’ahumanu Center)

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$$ Insane Clown Posse Hatchetman Throw Blanket

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3 Drawer Dresser or TV/VCR Stand

DAIRY RD.

This is a can’t miss item, even for a chiseler like you. The soaps even come in flavors like ginger lemongrass, lavender, citrus, cool mint, Hawaii Nut and Coconut Dream. I think it was that noted romantic Albert Schweitzer who said, “you can’t go wrong with soap.” He might have been talking about sterilizing medical instruments, but the tenderness is unmistakable. Gotta go with the soap. ($4.89, Maui Creations, Maui Mall)

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Okay, you haven’t married her, but there’s no doubt she’s the one. Well, she’s the one right now. So any present has to be big and good and wonderful and unique. This one requires real thought and creativity. Wow. Sucks to be you, dude.

Girlfriend you’re scared to call a girlfriend

DECEMBER 18, 2003

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$ Card

Even giving a gift to this person seems strange and awkward, but then again, it’s Christmas. She gives you so much—companionship, reassurance, mouth love— you gotta give her something in return.

Come on, get in the holiday spirit.

Look, maybe a “gift” in the usual “sense” just isn’t right for her. Right now.

Or ever. Maybe you should just get a card. There are plenty of nice ones: bulldog on a surfboard, old man waterskiing, old woman doing yoga at a bus stop sign, goat pushing a dog in a baby carriage and the ever-popular dog holding a pair of women’s panties. Oooh, you could use that last one for any occasion.

Sweeet! ($2.25, Papyrus, Queen Ka’ahumanu Center)

$$$ Fantasy Bra Look, I’m not saying you have to spend a lot to keep your woman. I’m just saying—oh wait, I forget we were talking about your mistress. You MUST spend a lot of money to keep her around. Duh. You think she hangs out with you because your comb-over makes you look distinguished? Yeah, you can’t take any

Mistress

chances. Better get her the Victoria’s Secret Fantasy Bra. This is the one Heidi Klum wore on CBS a couple months ago.

Its 2,809 white diamonds, sapphires and amethysts make it bra-tastic. So it’s a little extravagant. It’s not like you’re buying this rig for your wife… ($11 million, Victoria’s Secret)

$$ Chain Mail Garter Belt It’s naughty AND nice. And it seems to imply that as exciting and romantic as your relationship may be, it is still just a flexible armor suit of pure fantasy. Goes well with either EXPENSIVE or CHEAP gift, too, depending on the understood level of blackmail she could resort to if she doesn’t get her way. ($40, Hot Topic, Queen Ka’ahumanu Center)

400 Hana Hwy., Kahului • 877–7443 20

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FAS H

Super Surfin’ Holiday Savings

ION

SWI

MW

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$ Alka-Seltzer Morning Relief We all know the chicks love the booze.

But when they’re hung over, they tend to be a little on the grouchy side. And believe me, you don’t want this girl grumpy. She could do some damage. So just get her this, and she’ll be fine. It’s got caffeine and extra-strength painkillers.

And unlike the rest of the substances she pours down her gullet, it won’t hurt her liver. ($6.59 for a 24-pack, Longs Drugs, island-wide)

$$ Sonicare—The Sonic Toothbrush

$ Knit Monkey Beanie

Guy you’re doing on the side Ooh, tough call. With all your husband’s dough lying around waiting to be spent, it’s tempting to go overboard. But this is another one of those delicate situations. You don’t want to lead the guy on, but you don’t want him to get scared and bail. And, of course, you never ever want to put anything in writing, so getting a card is out of the question.

Why act like a monkey when you can just look like one—and keep your noggin warm, too! This gift either says “Hey baby, let’s do it like they do it on the Discovery channel!” or “Hey baby, I’m a total wacko, thank goodness I’m already married so we don’t have to have a relationship!” Either way, you win. ($14.99, Hot Topic, Queen Kaahumanu Center)

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Because it’s important he have fresh breath. This gizmo’s got high-speed bristle tips and a slim angled neck.

Mmmmm…. High-speed bristle tips.

Awwww yeaaaahhh. It also comes with a charger base, brush head holder, travel case and a wall mount kit. For that kind of money, it better come with a travel case. ($129.95, Sharper Image, Queen Ka’ahumanu Center)

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Whether you go for the sneaky speed of a 2004 Yamaha YZF-R1 or the raunchy rumble of a Harley Davidson 2003 Heritage Classic, your illicit affair will take a new turn when your Man #2 upgrades his skateboard and finally gets some real transpo. ($10,000, check your local motorcycle dealer)

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Boss

Extreme DVD $ 2004 Calendar

9

Oooh, this one’s tough. Your boss is, well, your boss. Absolute ruler over your employment status. Getting the wrong gift—or even any gift—could lead to disaster. Go too far the other way, and you get branded with a “boot-licker” label.

The key is never to forget that, down deep, all employees hate their boss. Um, except me. My boss is great. Class act all the way. But the rest of you, yeah, your bosses are jerks.

$

1495

$

2695

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19

Amphibious Surf Shirt

Polarized $ Sunglasses

6495

Look, if you’re gonna kiss corporate ass, you gotta do it with class. Hey, that rhymes!

Anyway, nothing reeks class like a Solid Platinum Fountain Pen. Sure, some of those less-adept suck-ups may opt for a solid

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Auqua Shield Glasses

$$$ Solid Platinum Fountain Pen

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gold pen or one with simulated mother of pearl, but they’re beneath contempt. ($11,000, Mont Blanc, Shops at Wailea)

style” karaoke machine. Earplugs for everyone, please! ($450, Radio Shack, island-wide)

dex unitard you told him he has to wear “for quicker results.” (Some of these guys make major bank, so check your local gym)

$$ Atari 10-in-1 Game

$$ American Flag Mousepad

$$ Turntable Spinning Buckle

Never underestimate the power of the bargain basket at Office Max. This is basically your can’t miss item. If your coworker swings right, you win by playing the patriot card. But if he or she is decidedly more left wing, you score major kitsch points. ($4.99, Office Max, Maui Marketplace)

It would seem these days that everyone is a damn DJ. Even your 74-year-old Uncle Harry. So what better way to say, “Hey, will you DJ my wedding in April for free?” than with this super-styley, two-turntablesspinning belt buckle? Hey, it’s classy and it goes perfectly with those orange velour cargo pants he’s been wearing lately. ($26, Hot Topic, Queen Ka’ahumanu Center)

Remember Atari? That bulky thing you plugged into your TV with the game cartridges and joystick or paddle controllers? Well, thanks to miniaturization, science can now squeeze all that cutting 1970s technology—and 10 games like Asteroids, Centipede, Breakout and Pong—into the joystick itself. Then you plug the joystick into the TV and you play. Besides, it’s a cheap excuse to get the old man to spring for getting an office television. Sweet! ($24.99, Radio Shack, Queen Ka’ahumanu Center)

$ Official ABC Stores Hawaii Letter Opener For opening Christmas cards from all those boot-licking peons who didn’t think it necessary to spring for an actual gift. Also, doubles in a pinch as a ninjathrowing knife, in case one of your lessfriendly colleagues comes after him.

Then he’d owe you big-time for helping save his life. Exxxxcelent. Patience my friend… just climb the ladder. ($1.65, ABC Stores, island-wide)

$ Happy Bunny Mints This is one of those ha-ha-I’m-just-joking-but-not gifts you can get away with at this year’s Christmas Work Party when your co-workers are all liquored up on the Eggnog Colada. Our flavor choices include “Would you like to suck on a mint? Since you already suck all the time” and “Please enjoy a mint. Since your breath smells like butt.” ($3.99, Hot Topic, Queen Ka’ahumanu Center)

$ “Sweet Kealoha” Shaking Hula Doll

$$$ A Day at the Spa Pamper your auntie and score major points by treating her to a day at the spa.

Just as long as you don’t actually visualize her getting the Mango Kukui Salt Scrub and Lomi Lomi Massage in her Kava Ginger Muscle Mask, you’ll be okay. Yikes.

Really, don’t think about it. (upwards from $350, check your local spa)

$$ Igloo Cooler Well, it’s a cooler, not unlike the coolers people use when they go on picnics.

Picnics! Everyone loves picnics! When was the last time you were on a picnic?

Get your Auntie to take you on a picnic!

What are you waiting for? ($29.99, Longs Drugs, island-wide) MTW

If I know your uncle, and I think I do, he’ll love this. He’s probably like the rest of us—bored to death by the sight of our own car’s dashboard. Far too many of us feel no love between us and the only thing preventing us from being flung into the engine block should we get into a high-speed headon collision. But who wouldn’t love this doll? It wears a grass skirt that comes in a variety of bright colors and carries a ukulele. No question this doll adds just that dash of Hawaii to anyone’s, um, dash. The doll even comes in your choice of male or female. ($6.99, ABC Stores, island-wide)

$ Shot Glass

Uncle Colleague Not as difficult as the Boss, but still a bit dicey. Everyone wants a friendly work environment, but let’s face it—no one in the office likes that dork who tries to be everyone’s friend.

$$$ CD+G Karaoke Machine So you had so much fun with your coworkers at last year’s Christmas Party, you wish to relieve the experience—ahem, and the inevitable blackmail fallout afterwards—with this “powerful club-

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Keep in mind this guy may not necessarily be your uncle. Maybe he’s just that really friendly guy who lives down the street who everyone calls “Uncle” but doesn’t seem to have any nieces or nephews to, um, uncle over. But he’s still a kind, generous good person and deserves something nice.

Auntie

$$$ Personal Trainer You can clean him up, but you can’t get him outta that chair. Hiring a personal trainer for your uncle may be just the impetus he needs, not to mention the hours of amusement you get as you watch your uncle sweat it out in the fuschia span-

Everyone loves Auntie. That warm smile, that haughty laugh—Auntie is everything you’d want in a real Auntie.

(NOTE: May or may not be married to “Uncle.” Consult your local phone directory for more information).

Don’t Aunties drink a lot and collect junk and stuff? Then this is the perfect gift! Get her the one with two geckoes in love. Or the one with a couple drawings of the backsides of women wearing thongs and the slogan “Bottom’s Up!” There are shot-glasses with hula girls.

And with sunsets. There’s one with a map of the Hawaiian Islands. And another with seashells. One shot glass has a picture of a beach bum and the words “Suck ‘em up!” There’s the popular image of a sea turtle, and one of a girl in a coconut shell bra. One even has a drawing of an erupting volcano and the words “Lava Shooters.” ($3.99 each, ABC Stores, island-wide)

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Paia 76 Hana Hwy.

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Fly over untouched tropical rainforests, through deep valleys carved in a volcanic landscape and alongside waterfalls cascading over sheer cliffs.

Let Air Maui can take you on a breathtaking aerial adventure of Maui and Molokai that will be a most rewarding experience.

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ONO KINEGRINDS

BY TED FAWCETT

Buzz’s Wharf Boy, do they have good prawns

PHOTO: KIRSTEN GUENTHER

We’ve all driven by the place at one time or another. Perhaps you’re on your way to Lahaina, possibly you’re heading from the west side into town to take care of business. Maybe next time you should stop in and check out an historic Ma’alaea landmark: Buzz’s Wharf.

A family run restaurant, Buzz’s Wharf has specialized in Pacific-rim cuisine and seafood since 1967. Almost every table offers panoramic views of the south Maui coastline, the boats in the harbor and whale watching, when it’s the season. The atmosphere is distinctly casual, appealing to both those desiring a classy meal experience and someone just getting off a boat excursion.

While local fish are featured daily, the Tahitian Prawns have become their most popular dish. Grown at their own farm in New Caledonia, these saltwater prawns’ clean, sweet taste can be attributed to the large ponds with continuously circulating water in which they’re raised. While they bask luxuriously in the blue lagoons, the prawns are fed nutritional and natural food pellets to insure their size and wellness. Buzz’s really cares.

Dinner began with Buzz’s Famous Steamed Clams ($12). We’re not quite sure why they’re famous, but they sure went down famously.

Warm and buttery, these steamers are a good time. To accompany then, we ordered the Fried Calamari Rings ($9). The large plate of crusted calamari dipped in tartar and marinara was perfectly satisfying and left us wanting more. We could’ve made a night of just the appetizers, as the Oysterson-the-Half-Shell or the Stuffed Mushrooms sounded equally inviting.

Instead, we directed our attention to the meats and fishes offered as a main course. My dining companion Elaine, who’s just off a juice and fruit fast and easing back into real food, ordered something mild—the Opakapaka. Lightly baked, it proved to be every bit as tender and tasty as

you’d expect of the mild white fish.

Her meal came with a house salad, fresh baked rolls and steamed veggies. I sampled the fish and found it delectable, too, and wondered why with fish like this would anyone consciously want to starve herself with some silly fast.

Our server hinted that aside from the fresh fish, the

12-ounce New York Steak ($23) was the second most popular item on the menu. Certified Angus beef, broiled to your preference, flavored with a secret house seasoning and served with potato du jour and a house salad.

I’m a sucker for grade-A beef, and this sizeable steak was just what I needed. Thankfully, too, my semi-vegetarian friend wanted no part of it—it was all mine.

We decided it would be a crime not to sample the signature Prawns Tahitian, so foregoing dessert we ordered another main entrée.

What is all the chatter about the blue lagoon/nutrient-fed prawns? Well, you gotta bite into one to find out. At the restaurant’s request, I’ve been asked not to divulge their secret ingredients or baking process. But you’ll find that they’re as buttery, tender and sweet as the restaurant claims, and possibly reason enough for the trip to Buzz’s. If you’re not in the mood for a full meal, the prawns are offered as an appetizer as well.

Had our stomachs permitted, we could have finished the meal with two Taste of Lahaina “1st Prize Dessert” winners: either the Baked Papaya Tahitian or the Mango Crème Brulee. Instead, we relished in our fullness and felt as if we were a little like a well-fed prawn.

Open daily with lunch starting at 11 a.m., pupus 3-5 p.m., dinner 5 p.m. Free parking, reservations recommended. 244-5426. MTW

Ashley’s SOUTH SHORE CAFE

Happy Holidays Voted #1 Steak Outstanding Seafood Wine Spectator Award of Excellence

(808) 667-7477 Located at the Entrance to Kaanapali

the

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362 Hukulii Pl. • 874-8600

Winecorner Voted “Maui’s Best Place To Buy Wine.” -Maui Time Weekly

Your Holiday Stop for Cheer and Merriment!

•Biggest Beer Selection on Maui •Exquisite Wine Selection •Liquors 35 Hana Hwy. - Paia - 579-8904 24

DECEMBER 18, 2003

DINING

MONDAY SPECIAL!

20% OFF All Wines & Spirits $20 and above Up to two bottles One coupon per person.

Offer good on non sale items only

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879-2230

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Specials not to be combined with any other promotions or offers.

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Homestyle New American Comfort Food W

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AR DOLLL ES B U O D Y A D L AL

DRINK NIGHT

OPEN MIC NIGHT WITH JIM FROM DEVILTOWN & DRUMMER JOE FROM VOLT

from the staff of Kihei Caffe

Starting at 3pm

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for your business this past year!

Have a happy & safe holiday season!

BUFFET

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2511 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei

ether! come tog e t s a od t f go o d foo

Locally Raised Grass Fed Beef Full Bar-Late Night Pupus (10’til-close) Homemade desserts

Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner Open Daily: 7:30am - 1am Dinner served 5pm - 10pm

IN OUR NEW LOCATION - AZEKA II - 874-3779 LETTERS

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DECEMBER 18, 2003

25

DININGLISTINGS CENTRAL MAUI Kahului Ale House - Wide selection of food with sports and games all around. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave. 877–9001 Aloha Grill - Wide assortment of burgers including veggie styles, plus all the extras. Dairy Road Marketplace. 893–0263 Ba-Le - French Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Plus, a large variety of tapioca. 270 Dairy Rd. 877-2400 Bangkok Cuisine - Casual setting featuring

MAUI

COFFEE ROASTERS TRY OUR FOOD, NOT JUST OUR FRESH BEANS! SERVING BREAKFAST & LUNCH OPEN FROM 7AM-6PM M-F, 8AM-5PM SAT., 8AM-2:30PM SUN.

offer catering services. 1900 Main St., Wailuku. 244-7888 Piñata’s - Fresh and wholesome Mexican food from the Kitchen Sink burritos to quesadillas ala carte. Casual dining, various piñatas available too. 395 Dairy Rd. 877–8707 Ruby’s - Walk down memory lane at this fabulous fifties cafe. Quintessential American dining morning to night. Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 248-7829 Saeng’s Thai Cuisine - Vegetarian, meat and seafood Thai entrees in a casual garden setting. 2119 Vineyard 244-1567 Saigon Cafe - Wailuku’s hidden secret! Delicious and affordable Vietnamese cuisine with excellent service. 1792 Main 243-9560 Sheik’s Restaurant - Local favorites including Loco Moco and Shoyu Chicken. 97 Wakea Ave. 877-0121 Stillwell’s Bakery & Cafe - Specialty cakes and desserts, breads and pastries, with sandwiches, salads and soups for lunch. Open 6 a.m.-4 p.m. Mon-Sat. 1740 Kaahumanu Ave. 243-2243 Tasty Crust - Local style cuisine for breakfast (try their famous hotcakes!), lunch and dinner. Serving Maui since 1944. 1770 Mill 244-0845 Tin Ying Chinese Restaurant - A Hong Kong style Chinese seafood restaurant. They have over 100 menu choices at reasonable prices. Buffet style lunch take-out, as well as sit down dining. 1088 Lower Main St. 242-4371 Tokyo Tei - Lunch and dinner featuring teriyaki beef and fish, tempura, datsu, saimin and more. 1063 E. Lower Main St. 242-9630 Wei Wei BBQ and Noodle House - Very affordable Chinese cuisine, counter-service, delicious noodle dishes. 210 Imikala St., Wailuku 242-7928 Wow-Wee Cafe - Unique candy bars, ice cream shakes, bagels, coffees, great sandwiches and soups. Also featuring a Hawaiian menu with kava kava and an oxygen bar. 333 Dairy Rd. 871-1414 <www.mauiwowwee.com>

exceptional Thai food with plenty of crisp vegetables and fresh seafood. Lunch, dinner, or take-out. 395 Dairy Road, Unit F. 893-0026 Biwon Restaurant - Fresh and flavorful, authentic Korean food. Open 10 a.m. to 10 p.m., lunch and dinner. 752 Lower Main 244-7788 Cupie’s Drive-In - Local lunch take-out. Open Monday through Saturday. 134 W Kamehameha Ave. 877-3055 Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food.

Plate lunches, steak plates and amazing chicken katsu.

Very casual; sit and eat or get your food to go. Also have a location in Kihei. 425 Koloa St. 871-7782 Dragon Dragon Chinese Restaurant - Excellent service and fair prices with dishes like Kung Pao Chicken, Crispy Gau Gee Mein, Sweet and Sour Pork, and Honey Walnut Prawns. Maui Mall 893-1628 Dunes Restaurant - Adventuresome revisions of local and American breakfast, lunch and dinner favorites. Maui Lani Golf Course. 877–7461 Fiesta Time - Quality Mexican taqueria. Order ala carte or combo specials with the freshest ingredients.

1132C Lower Main. 249-8463 Ichiban Restaurant and Sushi Bar - Breakfast, lunch and dinner featuring modestly priced Japanese and Local cuisine. Kahului Shopping Center. 871–6977 Manaña Garage - Latin American cuisine with unique and colorful decor. Try the Chicken Tortilla Epozote, vegetarian enchiladas and paella. Cool, quaint bar with margaritas aplenty. 33 Lono St., Ste 150. 873–0220 Maui Coffee Roasters - Ono grinds and freshly roasted coffee in a fun and casual atmosphere makes this the place to ‘take five’. 444 Hana Hwy. 877–CUPS Maui Beach Hotel - Buffet-style restaurant featuring different foods each night of the week. Features range from Shabu Shabu (tons of meat) to sushi and Japanese. Call for buffet schedule. 170 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului. 877-0051 Mike’s Restaurant - Authentic Chinese cooking and Ono local grinds. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Also

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877–CUPS

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2 Pizza Slices 2 Bud or Coors Lt Draft Beers $ 250 Well Drinks $

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A TASTE OF LAHAINA WINNER FOR 4 CONSECUTIVE YEARS “BEST VEGETARIAN” “BEST MEAT” “BEST APPETIZER” & “BEST SEAFOOD”

505 FRONT STREET, 661–8112

Mega Touch Games, Pool Table, Jukebox

SOUTH MAUI Antonio’s - Homemade Italian cuisine in a cozy atmosphere, extensive wine list and friendly service.

1215 S. Kihei Rd. 875-8800 Aroma D’Italia Ristorante - Southern Italian cuisine and full wine list at reasonable prices. Open MonSat, 5-9 p.m. 1881 S. Kihei Rd. 879-0133 Ashley’s South Shore Cafe - International local foods at reasonable prices. Daily specials, featuring Maui beef, salads and seafood entrees. Open 7 a.m.-8 p.m. Mon-Sat; 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Sun. 362 Hukulii Pl. (off Ohukai, south of Tesoro gas station), Kihei. 874-8600 BadaBing! - Homey Italian haven, award-winning thin crust pizzas, veal, calamari or chicken picatta. 1945 S. Kihei Rd. 875–0811 Big Wave Cafe - Small cafe serving Pacific Rim cuisine, including lobster and sweet corn fritter with furikake tartar sauce, and coconut shrimp with fruit salsa and ginger lilikoi sauce. Open 7:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. daily. 1215 S. Kihei Rd. 891-8688 Bocalino Bistro & Bar - Affordably priced Mediterranean cuisine. Open for dinner, pupus served until 1 a.m. Live entertainment and dancing 10 p.m. ‘til 1 a.m. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-9299 Blue Marlin Harbor Front Grill & Bar - Get amazing seafood, steaks and sandwiches; everything from pizza to sushi. Eat outdoors overlooking the Ma’alaea Fishing Fleet or hang out in the classy atmosphere of the bar. Open for lunch and dinner. Lower level of Ma’alaea Harbor Village. 244-8844 Capische? - Contemporary Italian with a twist; extensive wine list. Commanding ocean views from every table. Wailea Diamond Resort. 879–2224 Cyberbean Internet Cafe - Gourmet coffee, espressos, cappucinos, lattes, sandwiches, smoothies and salads. 1881 S. Kihei, 879-4799 Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food.

Plate lunches, steak plates and amazing chicken catsu.

Very casual; sit and eat or get your food to go. Also have a location in Kahului. 2439 S. Kihei Rd., 875-7782 Dick’s Place - Incredible all-you-can-eat food specials, free pool playing with purchase. Eight pool tables. 2463 S. Kihei Rd. 874–8869 Fernando’s - Authentic Mexican food. Open 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. daily. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei. 879-9952 Ferraro’s - Gourmet Italian cuisine oceanfront with live violin and guitar, outdoor kiawe-wood-burning oven, allday lunches and cucina rustica dinners. Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000.

Five Palms Beach Grill - Local produce and fish featured in Pacific Rim cuisine. 2960 S. Kihei Rd. 879–2607 Harry’s Sushi Bar - Japanese cuisine with fresh & delicious sushi, open 5pm to midnight daily. 100 Ike Drive, Wailea 879-7677 Horhitos Mexican Cantina - Burritos, salads, appetizers and “Food for Gringos,” too! Located next to Hapa’s Nightclub. Open 5pm to 2am Mon.-Sat. Lipoa St. 891-MEXI Humuhumunukunukuapua’a - Hawaiian and Polynesian cuisine oceanside. Grand Wailea Resort, 875-1234 ext. 4900 Jawz Tacos - Island-style tacos and burritos, including choice of vegetarian, mahi mahi, ono, shrimp, chicken or steak. Impressive salsa bar and the taco salads are da

“Best Plate Lunch” Maui News Readers Poll

“Best Pupu Coconut Prawns” Taste of Lahaina

“Paper plate meets million dollar view”New York Times

Join us on our deck for beachside plate lunches, burgers, noodles and “ono” daily specials.

Present this coupon and receive

A free regular soft drink with plate lunch or equivalent purchase.

Casual, affordable and fun!

1285 Front St.- Makai of La¯ haina Cannery Mall

661-3322

26

DECEMBER 18, 2003

DINING

Not to be used with any other coupons or discounts. Coupon has no cash value.

Coupon expires 1-1-05

DININGLISTINGS bomb! Also serves beer, margaritas, sangria, mojitos and mai tais. 1280 So. Kihei Rd. 874-TACO Joy’s Place - “Smart eating” featuring organic foods which are low fat, low salt and wheat free.

Open Monday through Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

1993 So. Kihei Rd. 879-9258 Kai Ku Ono - A tapas-style menu, where everything is ala carte, special late night menu and sushi. Serving breakfast, lunch and dinner with bar and lounge area. 2511 S. Kihei Rd. 875–1007 Kihei Caffe - Affordable breakfast & lunch with lanai seating, hearty portions, tasty sandwiches, huli chicken and fresh fish. 1945 S. Kihei Rd. 879-2230 Life’s a Beach - Food and drinks in a fun atmosphere. Best Mex, nachos, burritos, prime rib and grilled mahimahi are just some of the specialties.

1913 S. Kihei Rd. 891–8010 Lobster Cove - Seafood, steak, lobster at its best in a relaxed and casual atmosphere. Open 5pm to midnight daily. 100 Ike Dr. 879–7677 Longhi’s Wailea - Seafood, meat and pasta entrees with many not listed on the menu. Ask the server for details. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr. 891–8883 LuLu’s - Ribs, burgers, chicken wings and Black ‘n Blue Ahi and more in a fun, upbeat tiki-fied atmosphere with a great bar and huge deck. 1945 S. Kihei Rd. 879-9944 Ma`alaea Grill - Reasonably priced fine dining overlooking the harbor from the Maui Ocean Center. Ma`alaea Harbor Village Shops. 243–2206 Ma’alaea Waterfront Restaurant - Seafood and Continental cuisine. Open for dinner daily from 5pm. Milowai Condominium, 50 Hauoli Street. 244-9028 Marco’s South Side Grill - A lavish and beautiful setting, compliments the hearty Italian food and excellent wines. 1445 S. Kihei Rd. 874–4041 Mulligan’s On the Blue - Maui’s authentic Irish pub, plenty o’Irish food, whiskey and beer.

Breakfast is served till 3PM. 100 Kaukahi St. Wailea 874–1131 Nick’s Fishmarket - Fine dining in open air and elegance with amazing seafood dishes and fresh fish preparations. Kea Lani Hotel. 879–7224 Pita Paradise - Good food, fast. Serving up a mean Mediterranean-style “gyro”, salads or

wraps, with outdoor lanai. Kihei Kalama Village Center.

875–7679 Roy’s Kihei Bar & Grill - Mouth-watering Hawaiian fusion entrees in a spacious and upbeat atmosphere.

Open nightly from 5:30 to 10pm. Fine dining, reservations recommended. Piilani Shopping Center, 303 Piikea Ave. 891-1120 Sansei Restaurant - Japanese based Pacific Rim dining, sushi bar and late night menu. Award winning cuisine, early bird and late night specials. 1881 S. Kihei Rd. 879–0004 Sarento’s on the Beach - Contemporary dining near the water’s edge. Italian cuisine, very romantic. Private VIP table available. 2980 S. Kihei Road. 875–7555 Sausage Shack - Sausage sandwiches, even chicken or turkey, killer burgers and healthy vegetarian stuff. Sip a beer or margarita outside on the lanai. 1913 S. Kihei Rd. 874–6444 Spago - Gourmet cuisine as presented by worldfamous chef-owner Wolfgang Puck, oceanfront dining at its finest! Four Seasons Resort Wailea. 874-8000 Spices - Steak, seafood & more! Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd. 891-8860 Stella Blues Cafe - Healthy, quality food in a casual, homestyle setting. Breakfast, lunch and dinner with daily specials. 1279 S. Kihei Rd. 874-3779 Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Cafe - Relaxed island luxury in ambience and cuisine, with ocean views and live music. The Shops at Wailea. 875-9983

UPCOUNTRY Café 808 - Local diner style serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Open daily from 6 a.m. to 8 p.m. 4566 Lower Kula Rd. 878-6874 Café Des Amis - Charming cafe with delicious sweet and savory crepes and Mediterranean fare. 42 Baldwin Ave. 579-6323 Café Mambo - International bistro featuring Mediterranean and Mexican cuisine with Moorish influences. 30 Baldwin Ave. 579-8021 Cakewalk Paia Bakery - High quality baked goods, sandwiches and specialty cakes. 2 Baldwin Ave., Paia.

579-8770 Casanova - First class service, first class food. Fine Italian dining at night and Makawao’s favorite deli by day. 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao. 572–0220 Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon - Hankering for

some grub? Charley’s serves it hearty and healthy from breakfast to dinner and beyond. 142 Hana Hwy., Pa`ia.

579–9453.

Colleen’s - 1940’s style city bistro atmosphere serving breakfast, lunch and dinner from 6 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. daily. Haiku Cannery. 575-9211 Cow Country Cafe - Homestyle breakfast and lunch in a decidedly bovine atmosphere. 7 Aewa Pl., Pukalani.

572-2395 Hali`imaile General Store - Gourmet dining in a charming atmosphere. Chef Beverly Gannon’s awardwinning menu. 900 Hali`imaile Rd, Hali`imaile.

572–2666 Hana Hou Cafe - Hawaiian homestyle cooking with aloha-filled ambience and local musicians. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery. 575-2661 Island Tacos - Taco stand with fresh, made-to-order fish, beef and chicken tacos. Daily, from 11 a.m.-4 p.m.

810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery Jacque’s Northshore Bistro - Tropical yet festive atmosphere, with a sushi bar, indoor and lanai dining.

120 Hana Hwy, Pa`ia. 579–8844 Kimura Saimin Shop - Casual atmosphere, simple, affordable menu with fresh ingredients done right! 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery. 575-5228 Kitada’s - Saimin for breakfast is a standard. Teri beef, hamburger steak, tofu and hekka all available. 3617 Baldwin Ave., Makawao. 572–7241 Kula Lodge & Restaurant - Upcountry’s family-style restaurant with sweeping views of the island. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Haleakala Highway. 8781535 La Provence - French style bistro and patisserie with lanai, serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Open Wednesday through Sunday, 8:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. 3158 Lower Kula Rd. 878-1313.

Livewire Cafe - Gourmet desserts, coffee drinks, smoothies. Open 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. Sun. thru Thu. - 6 a.m. to midnight Fri. and Sat. 137 Hana Highway, Paia.

579-6009 Lynne’s Cafe - Affordable homestyle local food including breakfast, plate lunch, chow fun and more! Catering available. 810 Kokomo Rd. 575-9363 Makawao Steak House - Classic and comfortable menu with daily fish preparations and salad bar. 3612 Baldwin Ave., Makawao. 572-8711

Mama’s Fish House - Fresh island fish with fresh local ingredients at “Maui’s favorite restaurant.” 799 Poho Pl., Kuau. 579–8448 Maui’s Best Tamales & Local Food - Authentic, fresh and tasty mexican cuisine along with local favorites. 81 Makawao Ave/Pukalani Square 573-2998 Milagros Food Co. - South American cusine with an island influence. Best people watching spot in Pa`ia!

Extensive tequila menu and delicious daily specials. 3 Baldwin St. 579–8755 Moana Bakery & Cafe - Pacific rim dining for vegetarians and meat eaters. Bakery provides wonderful goodies for the sweet tooth. 71 Baldwin Ave., Pa`ia.

579–9999 Pa`ia Fish Market - By serving fresh local Hawaiian fish daily, they are the hot spot for seafood lovers without the upscale pocket. 100 Hana Hwy., Pa`ia.

579–8030 Polli’s Mexican Restaurant - Paniolo country’s premier Mexican cantina, with nachos, burritos, ensaladas and more! 1202 Makawao Ave. 572-7808 SandBar & Grill - Casual contemporary island cuisine, featuring pupus, salads, kiawe grill burgers, sandwiches and lobster tacos. Plus, a yummy caramel toffee apple dip! Full bar, happy hour everyday 4-6 p.m. Open daily from 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. 89 Hana Hwy., Paia 5798742 Veg Out - Vegan and vegetarian food, from Mexican, Italian and Far East influences. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku.

575-5320

WEST MAUI Athens Greek Restaurant - Affordable and authentic gyros, shish kebabs, falafels and more! Ya’Sou! Lahaina Cannery Mall 661-4300 A&J Kitchen, Deli & Bakery - Choose from American, Hawaiian, Korean and Chinese cuisines.

Bakery with cakes and cookies. Lahaina Center.

667–0623 The Bakery - Fresh baked breads and pastries. Soup and sandwiches available. 991 Limahana Pl., Lahaina 667-9062 Ba-Le - French Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Wide variety of tapioca.

Lahaina Cannery Mall 661-5566 Bamboo Bar & Grill - Vietnamese, Thai and Japanese sushi. Delivery available, great daily specials. Open late with full bar, pool tables. 505 Front

Bella Maria International Cuisine Buy 1 Entree and Get 2nd Entree* DANCE ‘TIL 1AM WITH RESIDENT DJ’S

Y RSDA THU /18 12

SAL & LUCKY BROWN WITH NANDA (Rhythm Supplements) music starts @ 9pm • $3 cover

live music! 9pm Call for details 579-8742

DAY FRI 9 12/1

RDAY SATU 20 12/

Reggae live music...

“fine Line” 9pm • $5 cover

catch live football on the big screen $3 b watch any nfl game u want! mloody

day sun 1 12/2

breakfast & game start @ 8am trevor jones @ 2pm

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*Of equal or lesser value. One coupon per customer.

• • • • •

Unique Daily Specials Plate Lunches Affordable Prices The Only Falafel on Maui!

We Feature Island Oasis Smoothies!!

greenbay at oakland

Open Daily 10am - 6:30pm

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ABC Store

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game & free hot dog bar @ 4pm

Kam I Beach

2349 S. Kihei Rd. 874-1221

LIVE MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

S. Kihei Rd.

DAY MON 22 12/

50% OFF!

YES REALTHERE DISC LY IS O B ALL AT SAN THE D B AR !

DECEMBER 18, 2003

27

DININGLISTINGS St. Lahaina 667-4051 Banyan Tree - “Eclectic Pacific Cuisine with a Hawaiian Twist.” Lodge atmosphere, ocean views. Ritz Carlton Kapalua. 669–6200 BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Deep-dish specialty pizzas and homemade Pizookies with live music nightly. Overlooking Front Street, with ocean view. 730 Front St. 661-0700.

Blue Lagoon - Casual dining with local grinds and bar, surrounded by waterfalls and palm trees.

Wharf Cinema Center. 661–8141 Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. - Fine Southern foods, with “Forrest Gump” movie memorabilia and logo wear in a lively, casual atmosphere. 889 Front St. 661–3111 Cafe O’Lei - Oceanfront dining featuring light and healthy yet hearty gourmet lunch and dinner. Delicious salads and Focaccia sandwiches.

839 Front St. 661–9491 Cafe Sauvage - Gourmet, hearty, satisfying fare in an unpretentious setting. Extensive beer and wine menu, after-dinner cordials, and desserts! 844 Front St. 661–7600 Canoes - Casual yet elegant dining serving a combination of island-inspired contemporary and traditional cuisine.1450 Front St. 661–0937 CJ’s Deli & Diner - Reasonably priced “comfort foods” such as Reuben sandwiches, pot roast, freshly baked pies, and more! Open daily from 5:30 a.m.-6 p.m. 2580 Kekaa Drive Fairway Shops, Kaanapali 667-0968 Compadres Bar & Grill - Western cooking with a Mexican accent. Oceanview dining & Margarita bar - serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-7189 Cool Cat Cafe - ‘50s-style diner with lanai.

Delicious burgers and sandwiches, huge salads and

classic fountain desserts. Lahaina Wharf Center, 667-0908 David Paul’s Lahaina Grill - Fine dining in the intimate dining room on the ground floor of the Lahaina Inn building. 127 Lahainaluna. 667–5117 Erik’s Seafood & Sushi - Fresh seafood and sushi - great steamers! Open nightly. 843 Wainee St., Lahaina 662-8780 Gaby’s Pizzeria - Casual Italian dining with pizza and pasta from $6-$25. Open 11 a.m. to 12 a.m. daily. 505 Front Street, 661-8112.

Gazebo Restaurant - Full breakfast and lunch menu, casual atmosphere, beautiful oceanside setting. 5315 Lower Honoapiilani Rd, 669-5621.

Gerard’s - Fine French dining in downtown Lahaina.

Rich, flavorful yet light foods await your taste buds.

174 Lahainaluna. 661–8939 Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie Maui’s own restaurant brewery, with rotisserie grill, featuring steak, seafood and ambience. Also, latenight menu served until 1:30 a.m.! 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy. 669-3474 Hard Rock Cafe - Good American food at decent prices amongst rock ‘n roll memorabilia. Live music and DJ dancing weekly. Love All—Serve All. 900 Front St. 667–7400 Hecocks - Italian restaurant and cocktail lounge oceanside.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner. 505 Front St., Lahaina 661-8810 Honokowai Okazuya & Deli - Gourmet plate lunches, sandwiches and pastas prepared as you order. Take out available. 3600-D Lower Honoapi`ilani Hwy. 665–0512 House of Saimin - Ono homemade Saimin, chicken sticks, and Haupia pie are just some of the local favorites here.Old Lahaina Center. 667–7572 Hula Grill - Barefoot Bar and beachside dining in a 1940s style. Menu is a seafood lover’s delight.

Whaler’s Village. 667–6636

The Best Meal You’ll Have on Maui!

Breakfast • Lunch •Dinner New Home of Maui’s Own Award Winning Chef

Raul Bermudez Drop In On the Big Wave Cafe or Call for Take Out

891-8688

1215 S. Kihei Rd Kihei (Long’s Shopping Center)

i`o - Pacific Rim cuisine among awesome sunset views, and indoor or outdoor dining. 505 Front St. 661–8422 Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Coffee bar and cafe with great food, eclectic atmosphere, loungey ambience.

Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd. 667-0787 Jonny’s Burger Joint - Great burgers, as well as Mexican food, salads and fried items, served until midnight, with bar and pool table! 2395 Honoapiilani Hwy, Kaanapali. 661-4500 Kahuna Kabob - Healthy food, low prices! Soups, brown rice, veggies and kabobs, will deliver. Lahaina Marketplace. 661–9999 Kimo’s - Fresh fish, prime rib, and their famous Hula Pie, oceanside dining. Live entertainment entertainment. 845 Front St. 661–4811 Kobe - Japanese Steak House and Oku’s Sushi Bar, featuring teppanyaki cooking and fabulous sushi. Dinner nightly from 5:30-10 p.m., Sushi 5:30-11:30 p.m. 136 DickensonSt., Lahaina 667-5555 Lahaina Coolers - Off the beaten path “surf bistro”. Good food, good quality, late night menu. 80 Dickenson St., Lahaina 661–7082 Lahaina Fish Co. - Chef’s Signature Pacific Rim Specialties prepared with fresh island fish, and seafood, dine on the oceanside lanai. 831 Front St. 661–3472 Leilani’s On The Beach - Relaxed beachfront dining, specializing in fresh seafood and Pacific Rim cuisine. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway. 661-4495 Lemongrass - Serving ala carte to the seven course traditional Vietnamese dinner. Reasonably priced and full of flavor. 930 Waine`e St., Lahaina 667–6888 Longhi’s - Elegant fine dining, freshest ingredients, pasta, seafood and steaks. Dancing upstairs on Friday nights. 888 Front St. 667–2288 Mama’s Ribs & Rotisserie - Serving ribs and roasted chicken, BBQ baked beans, cole slaw, and macaroni salad. Napili Plaza. 665–6262 Moose McGillicuddy’s - Great value, large portions, all you can eat specials and merry atmosphere, large bar. 844 Front St. 667–7758 Nachos Grande - Fresh mexican food, fast.

Vegetarian, too! Honokowai Marketplace. 662–0890 Nalu Sunset Bar & Sushi - Sushi rolls, sashimi, various Japanese appetizers, sandwiches and more.

Maui Marriott, Kaanapali 667–1200 ext. 51 Okazuya Deli - Quality Japanese plate lunch. The best lemon caper Mahi Mahi and Okinawan potato tempura ever! Open 10 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. and 4:30 to 9 p.m.

3600 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Honokowai 665-0512 Outback Steak House - Quality steaks, shrimp-onthe-barbie, and the Bloomin’ Onion in a casual and lively atmosphere. 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy, Kahana 665-1822 Pacific’O - Elegant oceanfront award-winning contemporary Pacific cuisine. Live jazz on weekends. 505 Front St. 667-4341.

Pancho & Lefty’s - Delicious and spicy appetizers, traditional and specialty Mexican food. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina 661–4666 Penne Pasta - Mark Ellman’s inexpensive Italian bistro with homestyle pasta, pizza and salad. 180 Dickenson St., Suite 113. 661–6633

Pioneer Inn - Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily, with live entertainment nightly. 659 Wharf St., Lahaina 661-36362 Pizza Paradiso - Voted “Best Pizza on Maui” since 1998. Award winning pasta dishes, toss-to-order salads, big fat Greek gyros, homemade tiramisu and panna cotta. Dine in or take-out, lunch and dinner. Honokowai Marketplace, 667-2929; Whalers Village, 667-0333 Plantation House Restaurant - Hawaiian Mediterranean cuisine. Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily. 2000 Plantation Club Dr., Kapalua. 669-6299 Reilley’s - Known for their choice award winning beef. Gourmet steaks and seafood overlooking the Ka`anapali Golf Course’s 18th hole. 2290 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 667–7477 Roy’s Nicolina Restaurant - A quiet ambience suffuses this dining experience, enhanced by the Pacific Rim cuisine. 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, upstairs. 669–5000 Rusty Harpoon Restaurant and Tavern Quench thirst, satiate hunger and watch sports.

Large parties welcome. Whalers Village. 661–3123 Ruth’s Chris Steak House - USDA Prime Steak, fine wines. Dinner served nightly. 900 Front St., Lahaina 661-8815 Sansei Seafood Restaurant and Sushi Bar D.K. Kodama has combined the highest quality sushi bar infused with Hawai`i’s cultural flavors. 115 Bay Drive #115., Kapalua. 669–6286 Sea House Restaurant - Looking out over incredible Napili Bay, dining is an amazing experience here under the direction of Chef Michael Gallager. 5900 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Hwy. 669–1500 Shakalaka Fish ‘N Chips - Mahi Mahi, Ono, Shrimp and Calamari in a light, crisp batter with homemade tarter sauces. Yum! Lahaina Wharf Cinema Center. 662-4449 Spats Trattoria - Step into old Northern Italy.

Tables are private, the Antipasti serves two. The Hyatt Regency. 667–4727 Sports Club Kahana Grill - Upscale, healthy restaurant inside Sports Club Kahana. Breakfast, lunch & take-out. 4327 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Rd. 669-3539 Sunrise Cafe - Casual and cozy outdoor lanai, serving American food from 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. daily. 693 Front St., Lahaina 661-8558 Swan Court - One of the top ten romantic restaurants in the world, extensive list of contemporary fine wines. Hyatt Regency Maui. 667–4727 Thai Chef - Thai food like you’ve never had it, curry, pad thai, summer rolls and more. Old Lahaina Center. 667–2814 The Terrace Restaurant - Open from 6:30-11 a.m. serving breakfast only. Elegant dining, buffetstyle rotating menu ranging from “Beakfast on the Farm” to “Hawaiian Plantation-Style Breakfast”.

Special Mimosa and Bloody Mary menus. Ritz Carlton, Kapalua. 669-6200.

Tropica - Enjoy the fire and ice-themed restaurant where the cold food and drink bar is tucked between two “volcanoes.” The Westin Maui. 667–2525 Vino - Comfort and contemporary cuisine featuring fresh pasta and extensive wine list. Open for dinner nightly from 5:30 p.m. Village Course Clubhouse, Kapalua 661-8466.

Whale’s Tale - All open-air lanai dining. Casual dining, specials, large portions. 672 Front St. 667–4044

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28

DECEMBER 18, 2003

DINING

Salads 8 Person Minimum Mark’s Caesar Salad $4.96 Per Person Mix Greens Salad $4.95 Per Person With Feta, Tomato, Soybeans & Dijon Vinaigrette Hot Sauteed Broccoli $4.95 Per Person With olive oil & Garlic

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667-9390

A&E 29 • Film 30-33 • This Week’s Picks 34-35 • The Grid 38, 40, 42 • Da Kine Calendar 36, 37, 39

ARTS&ENTERTAINMENT

BY COLE SMITHEY

Return Of The King Director Peter Jackson Talks About J.R.R. Tolkien We live in a time of war. And so it is that now John Ronald Reuel Tolkien’s (pronounced Tol-keen) epic narrative contemplation of self-sacrifice, loyalty, loss and planetary stability reaches its concluding episode through the flamboyant vision of Peter Jackson, a New Zealand native previously famous for his inspired work on films like Dead Alive and Heavenly Creatures.

But Peter Jackson is the first person to ever direct and produce three films at once and as a result, with the aid of DVDs, The Lord of the Rings should and will come to be thought of as one very long film. Like all great films, it is one that audiences will continue to discover new things about every time they see it.

During principal photography, where we shot for 15 months, I got tired but I played it off. I was able to just carry on physically like the tortoise and the hare, just sort of plugging along. But I found it very frightening the way that I got mentally tired. My mind started to get very closed in. During the last two or three months of the shoot, when we were right at the end, I felt like I couldn’t multitask anymore. I was really having to push myself to do a measure of things with the camera. I was not as sharp as I used to be so I set myself a mental task. I used to say, ‘OK, here’s our script, here’s our storyboards, here’s the plan for what we were going to shoot today.’ And I’d set myself a challenge of coming up with a good idea. It didn’t matter what it was.

Maui Time: What is it about the Lord of the Ring films that so many people have connected with?

Peter Jackson: I think that’s Tolkien.

I think you’re starting with a great book.

There has to be a reason to see any movie.

When you see it, there has to be a reason why you enjoyed it, if you do enjoy it, and I think that a lot of the credit has to go Tolkien. We’ve just taken a really great story and tried to adapt it into a movie format and we’ve done some things that some people have liked and some haven’t and we’ve obviously had that little journey to take, but I’m a fan of these types of films. I loved the books. I love Jason and the Argonauts. I love King Kong and I wanted to see Lord of the Rings. I mean, I really wanted to see it and I know that sounds simplistic and almost sort of flippant now to say, but we made these films because we did want to see them.

You’ve balanced the spiritual aspects of Tolkien’s books. Can you speak to that?

Yeah. Hopefully when you’re adapting things you try to make things clearer than they are in the book, because in cinema, things generally need to be simplified and you choose what you’re trying to emphasize and do it a bit stronger. But the main concept I found in Return of the King was about Tolkien’s First World War experiences.

There’s a scene that we shot in the movie, where the hobbits return to Hobbiton and they’re in the Green Dragon pub. That felt to me very much like what would have happened at the end of the First World War, which Tolkien experienced, where soldiers come back, and life around them has gone on but nobody really knows what they went through and nobody can understand. They can’t talk to their families. They can’t talk to their loved ones. How can you begin to have a conversation about the horrors that you saw? Yet you meet up with your comrades and there’s this unspoken understanding between you that you know what you went through. MTW

What affect did shooting these movies have on you?

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DECEMBER 18, 2003

29

FILMCRITIQUE

BY COLE SMITHEY

Alternative DVDs The No-Brainer Xmas Gifts For as much of a no-brainer gift as DVDs are, it’s best to know what you’re shopping for before you find yourself staring blankly at Hulk and Finding Nemo when what you really want for your best friend is William Friedkin’s recently released To Live And Die In LA. Apart from the dated ‘80s musical score by Wang Chung, Friedkin’s relentless thriller about a counterfeiter (Willem Dafoe) and the cops pursuing him is a white hot action movie with some of the most muscular storytelling and chase scenes you’ll ever see.

With DVD movies you have a golden opportunity to be as distinct, opinionated and provocative as your tastes allow.

Your bartender friend might get a kick out of the sublimely campy Mexican ‘50s and ‘60s B-movie series Santo, with titles like Santo in The Treasure Of Dracula or Santo vs. Frankenstein’s Daughter. Monsters, tricked-out cars and a chubby superhero wrestler who never takes off his mask are a just few of the elements that give these movies their endearing humor and longevity.

Last year’s kinky sleeper Secretary (with James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal) might be the ideal choice to draw your shy co-worker out of his or her shell. Director Steven Shainberg’s creative exploration of a profoundly romantic relationship between a sharp-minded attorney and his submissive secretary is a one of a kind that stands up well to repeated viewing. However, if you’ve got someone in mind who’s ahead of the curve in all things creatively carnal, then the Tinto Brass Collection with The Key, Miranda and All Ladies Do It might be a perfect group of cult epics to keep the home fires burning. Tinto’s notorious predilection for women’s posterior anatomy is royally on display in these hallmarks of the European sex film.

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In case you need to dazzle your boss, a regal boxed set that will delicately declare your cultivated discrimination in cinema is the F.W. Murnau Collection. This set of silent film masterpieces from the German expressionist movement includes: The Last Laugh, Tartuffe, Faust, Tabu, Nosferatu. Murnau died in a car crash in 1931 at the age of 43 just as he was to be contracted to make films for Paramount Studios. The highly disciplined director, nonetheless, left behind a rich assortment of films that are divinely sinister, as they are visually riveting.

For the passionate horror fan on your list, you might consider the Joe Bob Briggs approved, uncut sex-and-violence slasher classic Silent Night Deadly Night (1984).

There’s so much googly moogly nudity, gore and gleeful mayhem in this cult movie that your recipient will definitely be surprised.

Equally depraved and nearly as gory is Wes Craven’s uncut 1977 classic The Hills Have Eyes, about a family brutalized by a gang of inbred cannibals in the middle of a remote

desert. From the director of Last House On The Left and the Scream movies, The Hills Have Eyes is a cool glimpse into the humble beginnings of a director in love with scaring his audience.

Director L.Q. Jones’ deliriously offbeat 1975 apocalypse movie A Boy and His Dog (based on a novella by Harlan Ellison) is set in a postatomic wasteland of 2024 where a boy (played by a young Don Johnson) and his telepathic talking dog “Blood” search for food and women. For a truly alternative amigo, A Boy and his Dog will put you in high esteem for years to come.

A leftist leaning comrade might require something more political like Costa-Gavras’ 1968 spine-tingling thriller Z, that begins with a statement that “any similarity to actual persons or events is deliberate.” Yves Montand plays an anti-nuclear movement leader who is assassinated by military forces that overthrow the government. Z won the Oscar in 1970 for Best Foreign Film and will occupy a very special space at the end of anyone’s DVD collection.

Documentaries have come into their own as models of DVD entertainment with a wide scope of editorial and entertainment influence. In the independent music category Gigantic (A Tale of Two Johns) is a thoughtful and entertaining look at the trajectory of They Might Be Giants, a quirky band from Lincoln, Massachusetts who followed in the

(

footsteps of Jonathan Richman, and found huge success.

But if you need something really off the beaten track, Johnny Thunders—Who’s Been Talkin’ presents the late New York Dolls guitarist in one of his last performances in Osaka, Japan. On the female side of old school punk you could satisfy your riot grrrrl friends with a copy of Joan Jett and the Blackhearts—Real Wild Child. Supposing that ‘offbeat’ and ‘female’ is a hot combo for you, Plaster Caster follows the life of rock groupie Cynthia Plaster Caster who ingratiated herself into the beds of such rock stars as Jimi Hendrix by offering her artistic services of making a plaster cast of the stars’ penises.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t offer up a gag DVD Xmas present, and this year’s prime choice is the Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez big screen disaster Gigli. What Shanghai Surprise (1986) did for Sean Penn and Madonna, Gigli has done for Hollywood’s most targeted couple.

Finally, for the tech fiend in your life with a surround sound home entertainment center, there’s Alien—Quadrilogy, an unheard of nine disc set with 45 hours of bonus material.

Nothing quite sends the message that you’re down with the demands of a serious sofa movie watcher than the stunning visual and dramatic effects of the Alien movies. It might not be the most “alternative” boxed set, but it is a no-brainer after all. MTW

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SHOWTIMES

MOVIECAPSULES MAUI FILM FESTIVAL’S CANDLELIGHT CAFÉ & CINEMA FirstLight Academy Screenings on Maui Wednesday, Dec. 17—Thursday, Jan. 1 2, 5 & 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater Check pages 32-33 for this week’s schedule.

Tickets: $10 per film, $5 for kids under 12.

New This Week LORD OF THE RINGS 3: THE RETURN OF THE KING - (PG13) - Adventure/Fantasy/Drama The epic finale of J.R.R. Tolkien’s classic Lord of the Rings books. Starring Viggo Mortensen, Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, John Rhys-Davies, Ian McKellan, Liv Tyler, Orlando Bloom, Cate Blanchett and more.

MONA LISA SMILE - (PG13) - Drama - An art history professor (Julia Roberts) in the 1950s opens the minds and hearts of her female students. Also stars Julia Stiles, Kirsten Dunst, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Marcia Gay Harden.

Now Showing BAD SANTA - (R) - Comedy - Two criminals disguise themselves as Santa Claus (Billy Bob Thornton) and his elf to rob the stores blind and end up meeting an introverted 8-year-old boy who reminds them of the true meaning of Christmas.

Also stars John Ritter and Bernie Mac. DR. SEUSS’ THE CAT IN THE HAT - (PG) Comedy - Mike Myers stars the mischievous feline visitor in the striped stove-pipe hat in this live-action adaptation of the literary classic.

ELF - (PG) - Comedy - An adult who was raised as one of Santa’s elves, goes to New York City to seek his family and save Christmas. Stars Will Ferrell.

THE HAUNTED MANSION - (PG) - Comedy Based on the Disneyland ride, this is the story of a haunted mansion set on an old bayou in New Orleans that captivates a realtor (Eddie Murphy) and his family.

HONEY - (PG13) - Drama - A tough sexy dancer (Jessica Alba) from the inner city becomes a successful music video choreographer, but forgoes that in order to pursue her lifelong dream of opening her own dance studio for inner-city youths.

MAUI FILM FESTIVAL

THE LAST SAMURAI - (R) - Action/Adventure - An alcoholic Civil War veteran turned Winchester guns spokesman (Tom Cruise) arrives in Japan to train the troops of the emperor, as the emperor's new army prepares to wipe out the remaining samurai warriors. But when he is captured by the samurai, he learns about their warrior honor code from their leader, which forces him to decide which side of the conflict he actually wants to be on.

LOVE ACTUALLY - (R) - Romantic Comedy - Ten separate (but intertwining) stories of love in London, mainly-leading up to a big climax on Christmas Eve. One story revolves around the brand new (unmarried) Prime Minister (Hugh Grant) of the United Kingdom, who falls in love with a sassy girl (Martine McCutcheon). Another story follows the relationship between a stepfather (Liam Neeson) and his young stepson. Also stars Emma Thompson, Alan Rickman and Keira Knightly.

LOVE DON’T COST A THING - (PG13) - Romantic Comedy - An unpopular but super-intelligent teenage boy (Nick Cannon) hires a cheerleader (Christina Milian) to pose as his girlfriend so that he can improve his reputation in school.

MASTER & COMMANDER - (PG13) Action/Adventure - Set during the Napoleonic wars, an epic tale of high sea adventure aboard the ship, the Surprise, and featuring British navy’s greatest fighting captain, Lucky Jack Aubrey (Russell Crowe) and the ship’s doctor, Stephen Maturin (Paul Bettany).

THE MISSING - (R) - Suspense/Thriller - When a young woman’s (Cate Blanchett) oldest daughter (Evan Rachel Wood) is kidnapped by a psychopathic killer with mystical powers in the wilderness, she is forced to reunite with her long estranged father (Tommy Lee Jones) for help, trailing the killer and his brutal cult of desperados.

STUCK ON YOU - (PG13) - Comedy - A pair of conjoined brothers (Greg Kinnear and Matt Damon) head to Hollywood and end up on a TV show with Cher, bringing instant fame and fortune, and threatening to drive the twins apart.

Castle Theater, 572-3456 FirstLight Academy Screenings - See pg. 32-33

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, 249–2222 (Showtimes) = Matinee $ Dr. Seuss’ The Cat In The Hat - PG - Th (11:15, 1:15, 3:15, 5:15), 7:20, 9:30, Fr, M-W (11:15, 1:10, 3:10, 5:10), Sa-Su (11:15, 1:10, 3:10), 5:10 Honey - PG13 - Th (12:45, 1, 3, 3:15, 5:15, 5:30), 7:30, 7:45, 9:45, 10, Fr, M-Tu (12:45, 3, 4:20, 5:15), 7:30, 9:45, 10, Sa-Su (12:45, 3), 4:20, 5:15, 7:30, 9:45, 10, W (12:45, 3, 4:20, 5:15), 7:30 Lord Of The Rings 3 - PG13 - Th-Fr, M-Tu (11, 11:30, 12, 1, 3, 3:30, 4, 5), 7, 7:30, 8, 9, Sa-Su (11, 11:30, 12, 1, 3, 3:30), 4, 5, 7, 7:30, 8, 9, W (11, 11:30, 12, 1, 3, 3:30, 4, 5), 7 Love Don’t Cost A Thing - PG13 - Th-Fr, M-Tu (12:30, 2:50, 5:10), 7:30, 9:50, Sa-Su (12:30, 2:50), 5:10, 7:30, 9:50, W (12:30, 2:50, 5:10), 7:30 Master & Commander - PG13 - Th (1:05, 4:05), 7:05, 9:55, Fr-W (1:05), 7:05 Missing - R - Th (1:10, 4:10), 7:10, 10, Fr-Tu 7:10, 10 Mona Lisa Smile - PG13 - Fr, M-Tu (11, 12:45, 1:45, 3:30, 4:30), 7, 7:15, 9:45, 10, Sa-Su (11, 12:45, 1:45, 3:30), 4:30, 7, 7:15, 9:45, 10, W (11, 12:45, 1:45, 3:30, 4:30), 7, 7:15 Stuck On You - Th-Fr, M-Tu (11, 12:45, 1:45, 3:30, 4:30), 7, 7:15, 9:45, 10, Sa-Su (11, 12:45, 1:45, 3:30), 4:30, 7, 7:15, 9:45, 10, W (11, 12:45, 1:45, 3:30, 4:30), 7, 7:15

KA`AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka`ahumanu Shopping Center, 875-4910 Bad Santa - R - Th-Tu (1, 3:15), 5:30, 7:45, 9:55, W (1, 3:15), 5:30, 7:45 Elf - PG - Th-Tu (12:45, 3), 5:15, 7:30, 9:45, W (12:45, 3), 5:15, 7:30 Haunted Mansion - PG - Th-Tu (12:30, 2:45), 5, 7:15, 9:30, W (12:30, 2:45), 5, 7:15 Last Samurai - R - Th-Tu (12:30, 1:15, 3:45), 4:30, 7, 8, 10:05, W (12:30, 1:15, 3:45), 4:30, 7, 8 Love Actually - R - Th-Tu (1:45), 4:30, 7:15, 10, W (1:45), 4:30, 7:15

KUKUI MALL Julia Stiles in Mona Lisa Smile

W Fin ee al ke nd

Maui OnStage Presents...

1819 South Kihei Road, 875-4910 Haunted Mansion - PG - Th (1:45), 4:10, 8:15, Fr-Sa (1:45), 5, 7, 9, Su-Tu (12, 3:15), 5:30, 7:45, W (12, 2:45), 8:15 Last Samurai - R - Th (1:15), 4:30, 7:45, Fr-Sa (1), 4:45, 8, Su-Tu (11:45, 3), 8, W (11:45, 3), 7:45 Lord Of The Rings 3 - PG13 - Th (1), 7:30, Fr-Sa (12:30), 4:30, 8:30, Su-W (11:30, 3:30), 7:30 Love Actually - R - Th (1:30), 4:15, 8, Fr-Sa (1:30), 4:15, 7:15, 10, Su-Tu (12:15, 3), 5:45, 8:30, W (12:15, 3), 8

FRONT STREET THEATERS 900 Front Street, 249–2222 Bad Santa - R - Th-Fr (4:15), 7:15, 9:30, Sa-Tu (1:15), 4:15, 7:15, 9:30, W (4:15), 7:15 Last Samurai - R - Th-Fr (3:45), 7, 10:15, Sa-Tu (12:30), 3:45, 7, 10:15, W (3:45), 7 Lord Of The Rings 3 - PG13 - Th-Fr (4), 8, Sa-Tu (12), 4, 8, W (4) Stuck On You - PG13 - Th-Fr (4:30), 7, 9:45, Sa-Tu (1), 4:30, 7, 9:45, W (4:30), 7

WHARF CINEMA CENTER

One of America’s favorite Christmas books...now a heartwarmingly funny stage play!

Written by Barbara Robinson Directed by Patrick McBride

at the historic Iao Theater, Wailuku

Two Weekends Only!

December 12th-21st

Fridays at 7pm, Saturdays at 4pm & 7pm, Sundays at 5pm Show Info: 242-6969 or www.mauionstage.com Advance tickets online or at “If the Shoe Fits” 14 N. Market St. Wailuku

658 Front Street, 249–2222 Haunted Mansion - PG - Th only (1:15, 4), 7, 9 Honey - PG13 - Th (1:30, 4:30), 7:30, 9:30, Fr, M-Tu (11:15, 1:30, 4), 7, 9:15, Sa-Su (11:15, 1:30), 4, 7, 9:15, W (11:15, 1:30, 4), 7 Love Don’t Cost A Thing - PG13 - Th (1:45, 4:15), 7:15, 9:45, Fr, M-Tu (11:30, 2, 4:45), 7:30, 9:50, Sa-Su (11:30, 2), 4:45, 7:30, 9:50, W (11:30, 2), 4:45, 7:30 Mona Lisa Smile - PG13 - Fr, M-Tu (11, 1:45, 4:30), 7:15, 9:55, Sa-Su (11, 1:45), 4:30, 7:15, 9:55, W (11, 1:45, 4:30), 7:15

$7* ™ GRE AT FI

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31

Maui Film Festival’s FirstLight Academy Screenings at the Castle Theater, Maui Arts & Cultural Center Thursday, December 18 Veronica Guerin 2 p.m.

Cate Blanchett stars and Jerry Bruckheimer produces this riveting and true tale of an investigative reporter in England who took on the challenge of exposing local drug lords at the risk of, and eventual loss of, her life. Rated R. 98 min. (Touchstone)

Thirteen

Lost In Translation

Friday, December 19

5 p.m.

Academy Award winner Holly Hunter, Evan Rachel Wood, Nikki Reed and Jeremy Sisto star in director Catherine Hardwicke’s unblinking look at a young 13-year-old girl who turns her and her family’s lives upside down when she comes under the influence of a wild child at her junior high school. An important cautionary tale for our times and especially for all parents of young girls everywhere. Rated R. 95 min. (Fox Searchlight)

The Human Stain

The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King

Love Actually

7:30 p.m.

The final installment in this gloriously designed and groundbreaking series of films from director Peter Jackson, based on the classic Tolkien trilogy, lights up the screen in its bid for long-overdue Academy Award bounty. Rated PG-13. 210 min. (New Line)

2 p.m.

Academy Award Winners Anthony Hopkins, playing a college professor with secrets to hide, and Nicole Kidman, playing the custodian he falls in love with, star in this story of hidden passions and the emotional and physical explosions they can bring when acted upon. Rated R. 106 min. (Miramax) 5 p.m.

Hugh Grant, Liam Neeson, Colin Firth, Laura Linney, Emma Thompson, Alan Rickman, Keira Knightley, Martine McCutcheon, Bill Nighty and Rowan Atkinson star in this holiday season romantic dramedy written and directed by Richard Curtis (writer of Four Weddings and a Funeral, Briget Jones’s Diary and Notting Hill). Rated R. 129 min. (Universal)

The Event 7:30 p.m.

Academy Award winner Olympia Dukakis and Parker Posey star in this intimate look at how a young man, affected by HIV, and those around him choose their paths to mutual acceptance of the inevitable in a way that celebrates life. Rated R. 112 min. (ThinkFilm)

Saturday, December 20 Mystic River 2 p.m.

Academy Award winner and Maui Film Festival Silversword Award recipient Clint Eastwood directs Sean Penn, Tim Robbins, Kevin Bacon, Laurence Fishburne, Marcia Gay Harden and Laura Linney in the exploration of the impact of a crime over time on three friends and their families. Rated R. 137 min. (Warner Bros.)

Lost In Translation 5 p.m.

Bill Murray and Scarlet Johanssen star in director Sofia Coppola’s brilliant dramedy’s exploration of fame, loneliness and the quest for meaning in modern times set in contemporary Japan that has garnered rave reviews from critics nationwide. Rated R. 102 min. (Focus Features) The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King

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DECEMBER 18, 2003

FILM

21 Grams 7:30 p.m.

It is true that that you lose 21 grams—the weight of five nickels or, supposedly, your soul—when you die. From this theory, the director of Amores Perros leads Sean Penn, Benicio Del Toro and Naomi Watts on the intertwined journey for redemption of three strangers whose lives intersect. Rated R. 125 min. (Focus Features)

City Of God 9:30 p.m.

A brilliant, touching and exquisitely directed film from Brazil that explores, through the eyes of a talented photojournalist, the violent street culture of Rio’s mean streets and the denizens that call them home. Rated R. 130 min. (Miramax)

Sunday, December 21

City Of God

The Last Samurai

Cold Mountain

2 p.m.

Tom Cruise plays a 19th century U.S. Civil War veteran who journeys to Japan as a military advisor only to be captured and schooled in the ways of a samurai during the era when that way of life is on the wane. Directed in epic style and scale by Ed Zwick (The Siege and Glory). Rated R. 144 min. (Warner Bros.)

5 p.m.

Jude Law, Nicole Kidman and Rene Zellweger star in this story, directed

by Academy Award winner Anthony Minghella (The English Patient) and based on Charles Frazier’s historical epic novel, about a soldier in the Civil War who walks hundreds of miles across the littered landscape of the South to return to his true love. Rated R. 155 min. (Miramax)

Casa De Los Babys

The House Of Sand And Fog

5 p.m.

John Sayles directs a sterling cast that stars Daryl Hannah, Maggie Gyllenhall, Marcia Gay Harden, Chita Rivera and others in this heartfelt story of women who travel to Mexico where they share a home while waiting to adopt a baby. Rated R. 95 min. (IFC FIlms)

7:30 p.m.

Academy Award winners Ben Kingsley and Jennifer Connelly star as an Iranian immigrant and the dispossessed owner of the beach town bungalow that he buys who find them locked in a lose-lose situation when she decides to try and repossess her home. Rated R. 128 min. (DreamWorks)

Something’s Gotta Give 7:30 p.m.

Jack Nicholson, Dianne Keaton, Amanda Peet and Keanu Reeves star in this comedy from director Nancy Meyers (Baby Boom and What Women Want), about an aging Lothario who comes to visit his latest conquest’s mother and, to their mutual astonishment, winds up falling in love with her and vice versa. Rated PG-13. 123 min. (Columbia)

Tuesday, December 23 Pirates Of The Carribean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl 2 p.m.

Johnny Depp stars, along with Geoffrey Rush and Keira Knightley, in this cinematic joy house ride and special effects extravaganza based upon the real thing at Disneyland. Rated PG-13. 143 min. (Walt Disney Pictures)

Elephant 5 p.m.

Cannes Palme d’Or Directing Prize Winner from Academy Award winning director Gus Van Sant (Good Will Hunting) that dreamily recreates the events leading up to one of the all too frequent headline making acts of violence at a small town high school. This is a tough but brilliant film. Rated R. 82 min. (Fine Line)

American Splendor 7:30 p.m.

Sundance Grand Jury Prize winner starring Paul Giamatti and Hope Davis based on the life of underground comic book artist Harvey Pekar and his genuinely unique and bizarre personal style, family of friends and nationwide notoriety as a brilliant satirist and cultural commentator. Rated R. 101 min. (Fine Line)

Elephant

Monday, December 22 The Missing 2 p.m.

Academy Award winning director Ron Howard and producer Brian Grazer follow up their success with A Beautiful Mind with this supernatural thriller, set on the open plains of the late-19th century Southwest, starring Cate Blanchett, Tommy Lee Jones and Evan Rachel Wood, about a woman’s estranged father who helps rescue her kidnapped daughter. Rated R. 137 min. (Columbia)

Wednesday, December 24 and Thursday, December 25 No films on these days. Happy Holidays! MTW

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

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THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 18, 2003

33

Televised Yule Logs Wednesday, 8-11 p.m., AKAKU Channel 54

Prince 4U Friday, 7 p.m. at A&B Amphitheater, MACC

It’s Christmas Eve, you’ve got the bird browning in the oven, the kids are shaking their carefully wrapped gifts and your husband is… come to think of it, where is your husband? It’s times like this you could sure sit everyone down in front of a nice warm fireplace and have a little quiet time for yourself. Only problem is, you live on Maui, which means we don’t know fireplaces. Thank God for AKAKU. They’re turning their entire “experimental channel 54”—you know, it’s the one with the UFO shows and such—into a fireplace, by running a continuous loop of, well, a fireplace. [ANTHONY PIGNATARO]

So Prince is playing on Maui this Friday. Big deal. I mean, who wants to sit through some Hall of Fame inducted prolific master of deep funk, pop and soul? Who wants to dance and party like it’s 1999? Why would I want to put on that weird purple ruffled shirt that’s been in the back of my closet for—ooo hey, it still fits! Ahem, anyway—see you there!

s i th

week’s

Film Flurry Today through Jan. 1 at the Castle Theater, MACC Maui Film Festival’s FirstLight is a showcase of the best films of 2003, with some films to look forward to in early 2004. This holiday season is not only your chance to make yourself sick with eggnog and fruitcake, but also to fat-n-happily sit through indie film festival favorites like American Splendor (see photo, right) and Elephant. Also, the only chance you’ll get to see the more commercial films like Love Actually and The Last Samurai on the beautifically large screen of one class act Castle Theater.

Check pp. 32-33 for this week’s festival film capsules and showtime info.

34

DECEMBER 18, 2003

DA KINE CALENDAR

12 DAYS LONG. 43 FILMS WIDE. 1 MOVIE HIGH! O Starry Night

FirstLight

™

Friday, 6:30-7:30 p.m., Haleakala Visitor Center Haleakala National Park’s Winter Kilo Hoku is a star-watching program that incorporates night sky gazing with folk lore and Hawaiian stories. You’ll feel like you’re on top of the world at Haleakala’s 10,000 feet plus summit, looking out over the rest of Maui in a beautiful light-pollution-free sky, so visibility will be breathtaking. Be sure to bring a red-filtered flashlight, binoculars and dress like you’re going to camp out in an igloo. I’m serious, it’s COLD up on that there volcano at night— and the perfect excuse to cuddle up with your loved ones.

The Best Films Of & Early

December January Plus Live Music Flirting Dinner Dessert Massage & More

The CandleLight Cafe Castle Theater at the Maui Arts & Cultural Center

of the Terrific FirstLight Feature Films

picks

THIRTEEN Thursday, Dec.18, 5:00pm

LOVE ACTUALLY Friday, Dec.19, 5:00pm

THE LORD OF THE RINGS Thursday, Dec. 18, 7:30pm

LOST IN TRANSLATION Saturday, Dec.20, 5:00pm

21 GRAMS Saturday, Dec. 20, 7:30pm

CITY OF GOD Saturday, Dec.20, 9:30pm

by Sam Campos

Gingerbread, Gingerbread, Yum, Yum, Yum

Single FirstLight Tickets 

FirstLight Film VIP FastPass 

FirstLight Film FastPass Available at:

Single FirstLight Tickets  Complimentary Admission

FirstLight Film VIP FastPass 

FirstLight Film FastPass Available at:

Complimentary Admission

Saturday through Wednesday, The Shops at Wailea

Sponsors:

CASA DE LOS BABYS Sponsors: Sunday, Dec.21, 5:00pm

Once there was a gingerbread man baking in a gingerbread pan—Raisin eyes and cherry nose Trimmed right down to his fingers and toes—A gingerbread man in a gingerbread pan… Check out The Shops at Wailea’s Gingerbread Cookie Workshops and Gingerbread Bakehouse Sales.

Gingerbread dolphins and turtles, Santa geckos and Aloha bears, surfers and bikini wahines—in cookie form? Awww yeaaahhh—also for sale.

SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE Sunday, Dec. 21, 7:30pm

COLD MOUNTAIN Monday, Dec. 22, 5:00pm

www mauifilmfestival com

Single FirstLight Tickets  ★ FirstLight Film VIP FastPass  FirstLight Film FastPass Available at: www mauifilmfestival com

Maui Arts & Cultural Center Box Office & Borders Books & Music (Kahului)

Complimentary Admission to most major Film Industry Guild Members including AMPAS DGA WGA SAG (Nominating Committee Only) HPFA PGA ADG ASC BAFTA LA BAFTA NY CDG MAHG MPEG MPSE VES ACE and CAS Guild Members ONLY: RSVP to:

Sponsors: Blue Bamboo Blue Hawaiian Helicopters Colleen’s Restaurant Latitudes Mama’s Fish House Restaurant & Inn Maui Art Gallery Maui News Monica Riker Wells Fargo Home Mortgage Nuage Bleu Scandinavia Today Starbucks Coffee

www mauifilmfestival com ★

LETTERS

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COVER STORY

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DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 18, 2003

35

SKIRT

night THURSDAYS After 9pm

WEAR A SKIRT & GET $2 DRINKS!

ls Loca e h t ” e re Whe ang Loos “H

SPORTS BAR POOL TABLES LOUNGE TV’S

505 FRONT STREET LAHAINA / 667-4051

Moose Bucks Make Great Stocking Stuffers!

DA KINECALENDAR BIG SHOWS

Prince - Friday! The man, the legend, the Artist.

Funk, Soul, Jazz, Pop and anything else he wants to throw in the mix! Tickets: $50-75. 7 p.m., A&B Amphitheater, MACC, 242-SHOW.

TICKETS ON SALE

Michael Franti and Spearhead - Jan. 2. Plus DJ Logic. Tickets go on sale Friday, Nov. 21: $25 advance.

All Maui Tacos locations, Request Music or online at www.hulatickets.com. Lahaina Civic Amphitheater.

The Strokes - Jan. 7. All ages show--(under 18 must be accompanied by an adult). Tickets: $20, on sale Dec. 13. 7 p.m., Pipeline Cafe, OAHU, (877) 750-4400.

Chicago and America - Jan. 10. Two classic rock bands together live! Tickets: $49-59. Blaisdell Arena, OAHU, (808) 591-2211.

The Vandals - Jan.14. All ages welcome (under 18 must be accompanied by an adult). Tickets: $17.50. 7 p.m., Pipeline Cafe, OAHU, (877) 750-4400.

Tony Bennett - Jan. 16. Tickets: $35-95 on sale Dec. 13 to general public. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Jimmy Buffett - Jan. 28. With The Coral Reefer Band. Tickets: $35-75, go on sale Dec. 13. 7 p.m., Waikiki Shell, OAHU, (877) 750-4400.

EVENTS

Festival of Trees - Thursday through Dec. 28, 9:30 a.m.-9 p.m., at Lahaina Cannery Mall. Featuring more than a dozen trees decorated with handmade ornaments designed by Maui schools and community organizations. For more info, call 661-5304.

Free Cookie Workshop - Saturday & Sunday, 12-4 p.m. at Shops at Wailea. For more info, call 874-5932.

Photos with Santa - Sat-Sun, 6-8 p.m. at the Whalers

Village in Kaanapali. Also free face painting by Santa’s helpers. For info, call 661-4567. Also Sat-Sun, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at Lahaina Cannery Mall. For info, call 661-5304.

Blood Bank - Monday through Wednesday, 8:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m. at the Cameron Center. Accepting blood donations: Call for appointment and bring picture ID with birth date. For info, call 269-2619.

Whale Information Station - Daily, 8:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. at McGregor Point Lookout on Route 30, the Honoapiilani Highway, between Maalaea and Lahaina.

For more info, call 249-8811.

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 18 Picnic with Poki - 11 a.m.-12:30 p.m., under the Monkeypod Tree at the Historic Kaahumanu Church, Wailuku. Live traditional Hawaiian music with Eddie & Da Hawaiian Cruiser and Bradda Poki. Complimentary Starbucks Coffee and Jamba Juice. For more info, call 298-1648.

A Smooth Jazz Christmas - 7-8 p.m., Whalers Village in Kaanapali. Live music with Benoit Jazz Works. For more info, call 661-4567.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 19 Winter Kilo Hoku - 6:30-7:30 p.m. at the Haleakala visitor center. Star watching program with park staff.

For more info, call 572-4400.

Iao Preschool's 9th Annual Christmas Program - 7 p.m., 2371 W. Vineyard St., Wailuku.

Slide show, pupu potluck, children's songs and the story of Christ Child's birth and fellowship with their families. For info, call 242-1995.

Sing-It-Yourself Messiah - 7:30 p.m. at 712 Wainee, Lahaina. Presented by the Maui Choral Arts Association, musical scores will be available at the door upon request. Suggested donation: $15 for adults. For more info, call 298-3177.

Pleasant Island Holidays “Your Best Travel Value”

TAR-5308

Inter Island Packages AIR/ROOM/CAR From $20450* $ 00* AIR/CAR From 177 $ 50* ROOM/CAR From 41

Take Up to $20 per day off Car Rental!

*All Neighbor Island prices are per/person based on double occupancy. Hawaii State driver’s license, or Military ID required. Prices subject to change without notice. Some restrictions apply.

Los Angeles/San Francisco

Available for Christmas Parties!

CALL PENNY JO FOR MORE INFORMATION

New Boeing 757 Planes!

ONE WAY ROUNDTRIP

$ 00* + TAX From 169 $ 00* + TAX From 279

FREE

Movie, Cocktail, Hot Meal & Hot Towel Service!

*Per person based on double occupancy. Prices are subject to change without notice and are subject to availability. Some Restrictions apply.

Call (808) 922-1515 or 1-800-654-4FUN Today!

1601 KAPIOLANI BOULEVARD, SUITE 940

36

DECEMBER 18, 2003

DA KINE CALENDAR

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK

Shankara Christmas Party - 8:30 p.m. at Mandala in Paia. World music with dancing, singing and poetry. $10 at door. For more info, contact health@maui.net.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 20 Tuba Christmas Concert - 3 p.m. at Queen Kaahumanu Center. For info, call 572-6247.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 21 Gingerbread-House Decorating Contest - 1-4 p.m. at Queen Kaahumanu Center. This is a holiday fundraiser for Kalakupua Community Playground. The $20 entry fee includes a gingerbread house kit, but entrants may bring their own pre-made creations with no limit to size. For more info, call 572-6731.

Iao Congregational Church's Christmas Caroling - 5 p.m. at 2371 W. Vineyard St., Wailuku.

For more info, call 244-7353.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 22 Santa Paddles Into Wailea Beach - in front of Wailea Marriott Resort. Santa arrives by way of Hawaiian outrigger canoe. For info, call 879-1922.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 23 Masters of Hawaiian Slack Key Guitar Concert Series - 6, 8:30 p.m. at the Ritz-Carlton, Kapalua Amphitheater. Hosted by George Kahumoku, Jr., with special guest Herb Ohta, Jr. Tickets: $35 visitor, $25 kama’aina. For more info, call 669-3858.

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI

BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria – John Kane, Wed, Thu and Fri; Harry Troupe, Sat; Kaleo Phillips, Sun; Benny Uyetake, Mon; Maurice Bega, Tue. All sets from 810:30 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700.

Cafe O’Lei - Roscoe Wright and his band, Fri and Sat; contemporary island duo, Tue and Wed. 839 Front St., Lahaina, 661-9491.

Cheeseburger in Paradise – Brooks Maguire, Thu, Sat, Sun and Wed; Harry Troupe, Fri; Gail Swanson, Mon and Tue. All sets from 4:30-7:30 p.m. and 8-11 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855.

Cool Cat Cafe - Evan Schulman, Thu and Tue; Howard Ahia, Fri; Damien Awai, Mon; How Phat, Wed. All sets from 7-10 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908.

Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie - Nino Toscano, Thu and Fri; Kawiko Lum Ho, Sat; Ernest Pua’a, Sun; Brian Haia, Mon; Kawika Lum Ho, Tue; Ernest Pua’a, Wed. All sets from 6:30-9:30 p.m. 4405 Honoapiilani Highway, 669-3474.

Hula Grill - Ernest Pua’a and Brian Kaui Haia, Thu; Ernest Pua’a, Kawika Lum Ho and Brian Haia, Fri; Maurice Bega, Da Ukulele Boys, Sat; Kawika Lum Ho, Da Ukulele Boys, Sun; Kawika Lum Ho, Albert Kaina and Brian Kaui Haia, Mon; Jarret Roback, Don Kaulia and Albert Kaina, Tue; Ernest Pua’a, Brian Kaui Haia and Roy Kato, Wed. Live music is from 3-5 p.m. and 7-9:30 p.m.

2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building P, Kaanapali, 667-6636.

Java Jazz/Soup Nutz – Live music with Tracey and Farzad, Wed and Fri, 6:30-9 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd., 667-0787.

Kahana Terrace Restaurant – Harry Troupe, Tue and Thu; Randy Reno, Sat. All sets from 6-9 p.m.

Sands of Kahana Resort, 669-5399.

Kimo’s – Sam Ahia, Wed thru Sun, 7-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811.

Leilani’s On The Beach – Crazy Fingers, Thu, 4-6 p.m.; JD & Mario, Fri, 3-6 p.m.; JD & Friends, Sat, 4-6 p.m.; Kilohana, Sun, 3:30-6 p.m; Kawika Lum Ho, Wed, 4-6 p.m. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building J, Kaanapali, 661-4495.

Moose McGillycuddy’s - Greg & Steve, Thu; Llayne & Greg, Fri; Mark & Mike, Sat-Sun; Anastasia, Wed. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7758.

Pancho and Lefty’s Cantina & Restaurante Pianist Rene Alonzo & Friends play light rock, country

DA KINECALENDAR and blues during happy hour on Thursday from 3-6 p.m. and this Saturday from 8-11 p.m. Mariachi music on Sunday with Pablo, 6-9 p.m. 658 Front St., Lahaina, in the Wharf Cinema Center, 661-4666.

Pioneer Inn – Ah-Tim Eleniki (Local-style guitar), Thu; Gene Argell (blues and jazz piano), Sat; Captain Billy Bones (6-7 p.m.), Mon; Ricardo Dioso (classical guitar), Tue; Captain Billy Bones (6-7 p.m.), Wed. All sets 6-9 p.m. unless otherwise noted. 658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636.

Reilley’s Steaks & Seafood - Live music (grand piano) 6-9 p.m., Gene Argelle, Mon and Tue; Cody Gillette, Wed; Joel Gold, Thu; Mark Johnson, Fri. 2290 Kaanapali Parkway, Kaanapali, 667-7477.

Sea House Restaurant – Hawaiian music with Albert Kaina and Kincaid Basques, Wed, 7:30-9:30 p.m.

Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapiilani Road, Napili, 669-1500.

Whale’s Tale Bar & Grill - Eric Pietsch, Thu; Patrick Major, Fri and Tue; Greg diPiazza, Sat; Cryin’ Out Loud, Sun; Eric Pietsch, Mon; Armadillo, Wed. All sets from 6-9 p.m. 672 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4044.

SOUTH MAUI Capische? – Joyce and Gord, Wed and Thu; Esther Godinez (vocals) Salvador Godinez (piano) and Ed Connors (bass) perform a mix of standards, bossa nova and original music, Fri and Sat, 7-10 p.m. Diamond Resort, 555 Kaukahi, 879-2224.

KKO Kai Ku Ono – Lono, Thu thru Sat; Kawika, Sun; Howard Ahia, Mon; Kenny Roberts, Wed. All sets 6-9 p.m. 2511 S. Kihei Rd., 875-1007.

LuLu’s - Patrick Major, Thu, 4-7 p.m. 1945-H S. Kihei Rd., 879-9944.

Maalaea Grill – Benoit Jazz Works, Thu, Fri and Sun, 6:30-9 p.m.; Jimmy C Jazz, Sat, 7-9 p.m. Maalaea Village Shops, 243-2206.

Marco’s Southside Grill – Mark Johnston (piano), Wed thru Sun; Brian Cuomo (piano), Mon and Tue. All sets from 7-10 p.m. 1445 S. Kihei Rd., 874-4041.

Margarita’s Beach Cantina – Cool Steel, Fri, 5-7 p.m. 101 S. Kihei Rd., 879-5311.

Mulligan’s on the Blue – Celtic Tigers, Thu and Sun, 7-10 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131.

Seawatch Restaurant - Pianist Angela Carr, Fri, 6-9 p.m.; guitarist Luis Diaz, Sat, 6-9 p.m. 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr., 875-8080.

Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café – Latin guitar w/ Luis Diaz, Thu, Fri and Wed; guitar and vocals w/ Brado, Sat; Patrick Major, Sun; steel drums and sax w/ Brian Wittman, Mon and Tue. All sets from 6-10 p.m.

The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983.

CENTRAL MAUI Mañana Garage – Neto & Friends, Thu and Fri, 6:30 p.m.; Fortunato’s Magic, Fri, 7 p.m.; Neto & Hot Salsa, Sat; Neto Peraza, Tue; Bobby & Tula, Wed, 6:30 p.m.

33 Lono Ave., Kahului, 873-0220.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI Jacque’s - The Tom Cherry Express, Sat, 8 p.m.; 120 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-8844.

Livewire Cafe - John Moore Project, Sat, 7-10 p.m.; live jazz, Thu, 7-10 p.m.; acoustic guitar with Molten Soul, Tue, 7-10 p.m. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 5796009.

Moana Cafe - Gypsy guitar w/ Bo Shores, Sun, 6-9 p.m.; vintage Hawaiian music, Wed, 6-9 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

RESORT SHOWS WEST MAUI

Embassy Vacation Resort – Kaanapali Beach 104 Kaanapali Shores, Lahaina, 661-2000 Ohana Bar & Grill: Ed Truthan w/ contemporary classics, Thu; Patrick Major, Fri; Wayne & Friends, Sat; Ed & Ron, Sun; Ernest Pua’a w/ Hawaiian music, Mon; Scott Baird & Friends w/ contemporary music, Tue;

LETTERS

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SURF

PUREVOLUME

Howard Ahia w/ Hawaiian music, Wed. All sets from 5:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

Hyatt Regency Maui 200 Nohea Kai Drive, Kaanapali, 661-1234 “Tony ‘n Tina’s Wedding” Thu, Sat and Tue, 6:30 p.m. at Spats Trattoria. Torchlighting ceremony at 6:15 nightly followed by live Hawaiian entertainment 6:309:30 nightly in the Weeping Banyan: Sam Fukuhara, Thu, Sun and Mon; Pam Gamboa Peterson, Tue, 5:30-9:30 p.m.; Larry Gollis, Fri and Sat; Stephanie Anderson, Wed; "Drums of the Pacific" luau by Tihati, 5:30-8 nightly.

Ka’anapali Beach Hotel 2525 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0011 Kupanaha: Maui Magic for All Ages illusions and dinner show Tue-Sat, 4:30 p.m. in the Kanahele Room; Free nightly hula show and dance music, 6 p.m.; Sunday Champagne Brunch with Hawaiian music

by Polinahe, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

Kapalua Bay Hotel / Kapalua Bay Hotel, A Luxury Collection Resort 1 Bay Drive, Kapalua, 669-5656 The Bay Club: Jazz trio, Fri and Sat, 6-9 p.m.; solo pianist Sun thru Thu, 6-9 p.m.; Gardenia Court: contemporary Hawaiian music, Sun, 11 a.m.-1:30 p.m.; Lehua Lounge: hula performances 5:30-7 and contemporary Hawaiian music 7-8:30 nightly.

Napili Kai Beach Resort 5900 Honoapiilani Highway, Napili, 669-1500 Sea House Restaurant: Kapule Paoa, Sun; Kincaid Basques, Mon, Fri and Sat; Albert Kaina, Wed; Kincaid & Albert, Thu; All Hawaiian music shows from 7-9 p.m.

Polynesian Dinner Show, Tue, 5:30 p.m.

Ritz-Carlton Kapalua One Ritz-Carlton Drive, Kapalua, 669-6200 Lobby Lounge: Reiko, solo guitar and vocals, beginning at 5:30 nightly. Banyan Tree Restaurant: world fusion duo Ranga Pae, Fri thru Tue, 6:15-9:45 p.m.

Royal Lahaina Resort 2780 Kekaa Drive, Kaanapali, 661-3611 "Eddie and Eddie" w/ Eddie Lilikoi and Eddie Sebala, 5-9:30 nightly in the Royal Ocean Terrace.

Royal Lahaina Luau featuring authentic Hawaiian and Polynesian songs and dances at 5 nightly.

Sheraton Maui Hotel 2605 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0031 Lagoon Bar Entertainment w/ hula dancers, 6-8 nightly: Bobby & Ralph, Thu, Mon and Tue; Ralph & Allan, Fri; Fausto & Kawaika, Sat and Sun; Nathan & Ralph, Wed; torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset, 7-8 nightly.

The Westin Maui Hotel 2365 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-2525 Tropica: Bobby Ingram Trio, Sat, Sun and Wed; JD Band, Tue; Keoki Kahumoku, Mon. All sets 7-9 p.m.; Fortunato’s magic, Thu, Sat and Tue, 6:30-8:30 p.m.

SOUTH MAUI Four Seasons Resort Wailea 3900 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 874-8000 Lobby Lounge, Hawaiian music w/Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran, Thu, 5:30-7:30 p.m. followed by jazz w/ Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; contemporary music w/Clay Mortensen and George Tavoularis, Fri, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; island style trio, Sat and Mon, 5:30-7:30 p.m. w/ hula dancer 5:30-6:30 p.m.; Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria, Sun, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Tiffany Lee and Josh Mon and Sat, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Clay Mortensen and Gilbert Emata, Wed, 8:30-11:30 p.m. Sunset torchlighting nightly.

Grand Wailea Resort Hotel & Spa 3850 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-1234 Botero Bar entertainment, 5:30-9:30 nightly: Larry Golis, Thu; Brian Mansano, Fri; Ricardo, Sat; Luis Diaz, Sun thru Tue; Mitch Kepa, Wed; Strolling Hawaiian duo in the Humuhumunukunukuapua’a nightly.

The Fairmont Kea Lani Maui 4100 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-4100 Jazz entertainment from 6-9 nightly in the Lobby Bar. Wailea Marriott

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

THE BRIAN SETZER ORCHESTRA “BOOGIE-WOOGIE CHRISTMAS” Tis’ the season to rock and roll baby! If you’re throwing a X-mas party this year, or crashing one for that matter, do the revelers a favor and put Boogie-Woogie Christmas in the CD line-up. Brian Setzer is rockabilly royalty, and he and his zillion piece orchestra have recorded the most swingin’ x-mas record ever. All the classics are here, and they’ve all been given a hot-rod fuel injection and come screamin’ off the line! You’ve never heard “Sleigh Ride” like this before. Hell, there’s even an awesome rendition of Tchaikovsky’s “Nutcracker Suite”—it’ll blow your mind! The duet with Ann Margaret on “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is sweet—although she’s like a hundred years old, her voice is definitely phonesex quality. So mix up some stiff eggnog, update your holiday music collection with BoogieWoogie Christmas and get festive baby, ho-ho-ho!!! —Surfdog Records 2003 [SPIKE FUQUA]

COLDPLAY “COLDPLAY LIVE 2003” (In English accent) Coldplay is fucking brilliant! Unless you’ve been living under a rock or listening to Kid Rock for the last three years, you’d know this and that both Coldplay records garnered Grammys for Best Alternative Album, two years running. Coldplay is—quite simply—awesome and I describe their sound as “equal parts Pink Floyd and U2, shaken not stirred.” While Coldplay proudly wear their hearts on their sleeves and write poignant love songs, there’s never any wussy Lifetime or Oxygen Network moments. So if you’re looking for a new addition to your “bottle of red, sunset, get laid” collection, this is highly recommended. The CD features over 70 minutes of live music recorded from various shows during their extended world tour, and the concert footage on the DVD perfectly captures the transcendent performances of the band. Moments when the crowd sings along with Martin on songs like “Yellow” and “Trouble” are breathtaking. I implore you to seek out Coldplay for the well being of your musical soul. —Capitol Records [SPIKE FUQUA]

UFO “STRANGERS IN THE NIGHT—LIVE 1978” Sandwiched between the early ‘70s musical success of heavy bands like Black Sabbath and Deep Purple, and the early ‘80s “New Wave Of British Heavy Metal” that saw Judas Priest, Iron Maiden and Def Leppard selling out arenas across the U.S.A., there was UFO. This English band delivered some of the finest hard rock of the ‘70s and employed my favorite guitar god of all time; Michael Schenker. This guy fuckin’ rips so hard, and I’m not talkin’ a million notes a minute or all that goddamn fret tapping that Eddie Van Halen started (though I do love Van Halen’s first four records). Schenker’s soulful, melodic and fluid guitar work has made him a legend amongst metal-heads and gee-tar geeks around the world. His rock-god status is confirmed with his “face obscuring platinumblond hair, hunched over the two-tone black and white Gibson Flying V look.” He definitely is the guitar player in my fantasy super-band lineup. This 1978 recording captures UFO in their prime and turned out to be Schenker’s swansong as he left the band shortly after. Classics like “Doctor, Doctor,” “Lights Out” and “Rock Bottom,” though solid in their studio versions are high-powered and burly on this live recording. Along with The Who’s Live At Leeds and Judas Priest’s Unleashed In The East, this is one of the best live albums ever recorded. —Chrysalis Records [SPIKE FUQUA]

OLIVER MTUKUDZI “THE OLIVER MTUKUDZI COLLECTION: THE TUKU YEARS” Much of African music sounds so happy and upbeat, even though they are often singing the blues. Oliver Mtukudzi, from Zimbabwe, lifts the spirits through his music even if the listener can’t understand one of the various languages in which he sings; the strength of his melodies and the soul of his voice need no translation. Like his countryman, Thomas Mapfumo, he makes serious issues of social justice into buoyant anthems to inspire his people. His sweet tunes, gravelly voice, the floating guitar notes and gorgeous harmonies are irresistible. “Wake Up,” which is a beautiful call for unity, and “Hear Me Lord,” also covered by Bonnie Raitt, are sung in English. The extensive liner notes explain the rest of the songs, but one need not read about the meanings to be affected by the universally joyful grooves. —Putumayo World Music [JOE GATTO]

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 18, 2003

37

thursday12/18

friday12/19

saturday12/20 sunday12/21

monday12/22 – wednesday12/24

BOCALINO

Funk, Soul & Disco w/DJ Boomshot, No cover, 10pm

Neto Peraza, Latin Night, No cover, 10pm

Kilohana, Hawaiian contemporary, No cover, 10pm

CASANOVA

Casanova Social Club, $5 donation, 9:45pm

Tropix Orgasmix, $10, 9:45pm

Kupa’a & Kohumua, $10, 9:45pm

Wed - Ladies’ Night, $5, 9:45pm

Lawai’a, No cover, 10:30pm12:30am

Mon - Lawai’a, No cover, 10:30pm-12:30am; Wed -Closed at 4pm!

1279 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 874-9299

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

Hot Apple Pie, R&B/Funk, No cover, 8-11pm

CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT 142 Hana Hwy, Paia - 579-9453

Salsa Night $5, 10pm

COMPADRES BAR & GRILL Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-7189

Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina - 667-0908

Evan Shulman, Dancing, No cover

Howard Ahia

Mon - Damien Awai; Tue - Evan Shulman; Wed - How Phat Open Mic Night, with Jim (Deviltown), 10pm

ACE’s Radio Rehab, Bring your own CDs, No cover, 10pm

ERIK’S SEAFOOD & SUSHI 843 Wainee St., Lahaina - 662-8780

HAPA’S NIGHTCLUB

Ladies Night, 9pm

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-9001

Willie K and Joe Cano!

HARD ROCK CAFÉ

Flava Zone Roadhouse Wrecking Crew, $3, 10pm

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

HENRY’S BAR & GRILL

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

Steve Mendoza, N/C, 5-9pm; Swami Bebops, No cover, 9pm Roadhouse Wrecking Crew, 9pm

Crunch Pups, No cover, 9pm-12am

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB

Da Hawaiians, No cover, 10pm Kenny Roberts, No cover, 5-7pm

El Niño, No cover, 5pm

36 Keala Place, Kihei - 875-7711

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE

Crunch Pups, $5, 9:30pm Mark Burnett & Mike Finklewitz, No cover, 10pm

KIMO’S

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE

Mike & Dave Carroll, No cover, 9pm-Midnight

LIFE’S A BEACH

Voodoo Suns, No cover

38

DECEMBER 18, 2003

DA KINE CALENDAR

Gina Martinelli Band, N/C, 6pm

Mon - Da Hawaiians, No cover; Tue - Chico & DaKine, No cover; Wed - Da Hawaiians, No cover

Pride Ultimate Fighting, 2:30pm Karaoke, No cover, 10pm

Mon & Wed - Karaoke, No cover, 10pm

Scott Baird & Gretchen, No cover, 10pm

Karaoke w/Auntie Toddy Lilikoi, Karaoke w/Auntie Toddy Lilikoi, No cover, 9:30pm No cover, 9:30pm Fine Line, No cover

Rick & Billy, No cover

Prankster, No cover

Listen Closely...

Is givin g you a cha nce to win "SANTA'S SE CRET STASH" $10,000 Cash!

Mon - Marty Dread, Reggae, $5, 10pm

..............................

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

MON - Uncle Willie K; TUE - Ultra Fab Tuesday, 10pm; WED - Aloha Wednesday, $5, 9pm

Teen Night

Mon - ACE & Radio Rehab, No cover; Tue - Da’Hot DJ, No cover; Wed - X, No cover

DINNER, DANCING, LIVE ENTERTAINMENT & CHAMPAGNE TOAST Join us for. . .

..............................

COOL CAT CAFÉ

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

Mon - Cryin’ Out Loud; Tue - Jay Molina & Gilbert Emata w/Vanessa Rodriguez; Wed - Soul Concepts w/Curtis Williams, R&B; All shows 10pm-1am, No cover!

CLOSED

New YEAR’s EVE! DECEMBER, 31st • 8pm-Close

4 COURSE MEAL & CHAMPAGNE TOAST (Limited Seating! Call for Details)

•

The Wharf Cinema Center 667-0908

•

DA KINECALENDAR 3700 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-1922 Hawaiian entertainment w/ hula 6-9 nightly in Kumu Bar & Grill. Hawaiian entertainment 9-11 nightly in the Mele Mele Lounge featuring Pam Gamboa Peterson Mon and Sat, Mitch Kepa & Raymond "Mundo" Medeiros. Paradyse & Ka Poe O Hawaii perform at the Luau, Mon, Tue, Thu and Fri. Renaissance Wailea Beach Resort 3550 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-4900 Sunset Terrace; Live music by Lono, Thu; Brado Mamalias, Fri; Rama Camarillo, Sat-Sun; Bobby Krueger, Mon-Wed; all sets 6-9 p.m. Wailea Sunset Luau, Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m.

Maui Prince Hotel 5400 Makena Alanui, 874-1111 Molokini Lounge: Ron Kuala’au, Hawaiian and contemporary guitar and vocals, Sun, 6-10:30 p.m. and Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m. Mele ‘Ohana duo, Mon, Wed. and Fri, 6-8 p.m., Mon thru Sat, 8:30-10:30 p.m. and Mon, Wed and Fri, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

EAST MAUI Hotel Hana-Maui Hana, 248-8211 Hawaiian music in Paniolo Lounge, Thu thru Sun, 6:30-9:30 p.m.; hula show, every Thu and Sun, 7:30-8:15 p.m. in the Main Dining Room.

POLITICAL

Fundraiser for U.S. Congressman Ed Case Thursday, 5:30-7:30 p.m. at Wailuku Community Center. For more info, call 244-2233.

State Plans for La Perouse Bay Area - Friday, 6 p.m. at the Maui Waena Intermediate School cafeteria.

Meeting and discussion. For info, call 984-8100.

STAGE

“The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” - Friday, 7 p.m.; Saturday, 4 & 7 p.m.; Sunday, 5 p.m. at the Iao Theater, Wailuku. A Maui OnStage production. For more info, call 244-8680.

“It All Happened in the Country” - Friday, 7 p.m. at the Barn in Kapalua, across from Honolua Store. A musical about two city kids stranded in the country on Christmas Eve. Free. For info, call 669-6905.

"The Singing Christmas Tree" - Friday & Saturday, 7 p.m. at King's Cathedral, Kahului. Tickets: $10 adults, $5 children 3-12. For info, call 643-7729.

"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" - Friday & Saturday, 7:30 p.m. in the Seabury Hall's Performance Studio. Tickets are $8 adults, $7 seniors, and $4 students. For more info, call 573-1257.

CRAFT FAIRS

& Sunday, 9 a.m.-5 p.m. at Banyan Tree Park, Lahaina.

Free admission. For info, call 661-0111 ext. 1.

Christmas House - Sunday through Thursday, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. at the Hui Noeau Visual Arts Center, Makawao. For more info, call 572-6560.

ART

From Bento To Mixed Plate - Saturday through Feb. 15, at Schaefer International Gallery, MACC. Exhibition tracing Japanese American identity in Hawaii. For more info, call 242-2787.

KEIKI

Itty Bitty Christmas Party - Thursday, 10:30 a.m.12 p.m. at YMCA, 250 Kanaloa Ave. in Kahului. For kids up to five years old. Activities include carols and games, special guest Uncle Wayne, cookie decorating, crafts and photos with Santa. Free and open to the public. For more info, call 242-9007.

Santa Visits Library - Thursday, 2:30 p.m. at Lahaina Public Library. Stories, songs and fun. For more info, call 662-3950.

Maze Craze Event for Kids - Saturday, at the Maui Mall. Walk through a maze 100 feet long and 45 feet wide with 1,000 feet of paths. Proceeds will benefit participating school groups, athletic clubs and other nonprofits. For more info, call 871-1528 or 276-7392.

YMCA Christmas Break Day Camp - Monday through Jan. 9 in Kahului, 7:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m. and in Kihei, 7 a.m.-6 p.m. Fun activities, swimming, field trips and more. For more info, call 242-9007.

Song & Storytime with Uncle Wayne Wednesday, 10:30 a.m. at Borders Books in Kahului.

For more info, call 877-6160.

SPORTS

Maui Invitational Wrestling Tournament Friday & Saturday, at King Kekaulike High School.

Competition will begin at 10:30 a.m. on Friday, and run until 8 p.m. On Saturday, the action will start at 10:30 a.m. with finals scheduled to start at 5.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 19 Classes Offered by Maui Kenpo Dojo - 6-7 p.m.

Free and open to the public. For info, call 665-1463.ß

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 20 Valley Isle Road Runners Christmas Fun Runs - 8:30 a.m. at Kanaha Beach Park. A 5K and 10K fun run. For more info, call 871-6441.

One Historic Night!

Send your listings & photos

He U`i Cultural Arts Festival - Saturday & Sunday, 9 a.m.-5 p.m. under the Banyan Tree in Lahaina Town.

Live Hawaiian music, community talks, and a gathering of Hawaiian artists and crafters display, sell, and demonstrate cultural arts & crafts. For info, call 667-9194.

Lahaina Arts Society's Fine Arts Fair - Saturday

Two Legendary Musicians

for the Da Kine Calendar to calendar@mauitime.com or fax (808) 661-0446

A VERY SPECIAL CONCERT BY

K e i l l i W Joe Cano Willie K & o Joe Can Friday, Dec. 19th Doors open at 8pm

L I P OA

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

4 1 E . L I P OA S T R E E T C E N T E R , K I H E I • 8 7 9 - 9 0 0 1

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 18, 2003

39

thursday12/18

Four Seasons Resort, Wailea - 874-8000

Pam Peterson & Rudy Baria, 8:30-11:30pm

Mon - Tiffany Lee & Josh, 8:30-11:30pm; Wed - Clay Mortensen & Gilbert Emata, 8:30-11:30pm

Vanessa & The Project, No cover, 8pm

NFL Football

Mon - Live NFL Football, 2-6pm; Wed - Maui “Idol”, Karaoke w/Tyrone, No cover, 8-11pm

DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

DJ “Big Daddy” Steve, No cover, 9pm

DJ Tark, No cover, 9pm-close

Mon - DJ Tark, No cover, 9pm; Tue - DJ Mackie Mac/Dollar Night, $5, 9pm; Wed - DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

Kenny Roberts, No cover, 9pm Murray Thorne, No cover, 9pm

Joe Cano & Band, $5, 9pm

Celtic Tigers, No cover, 7pm Merv Oana, No cover, 10pm

Mon - Gypsy Pacific, No cover, 7:30pm; Tue - “Wailea Nights” w/Eric Gilliom & Barry Flanagan of HAPA, $30advance/$35at door, 7:30pm; Wed - John Moore Project, No cover, 9pm

LONGHI’S 888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288 LONGHI’S Shops at Wailea - 877-2036 LULU’S

1945-H S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S 844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

Clay Mortensen & George Tavoularis, 8:30-11:30pm

monday12/22 – wednesday12/24

Tiffany Lee & Josh, 8:3011:30pm

Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30pm

LOBBY LOUNGE

friday12/19 saturday12/20 sunday12/21

Crazy Fingers, $5, 9:30pm N/A, $5, 9:30pm Bobby Ingram, Blues & Jazz, No cover, 8pm

Information not available

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-Midnight

PACIFIC’O

505 Front St., Lahaina - 667-4341

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-Midnight

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Seafood Restaurant & Sushi Bar

FOR A SELECTION OF OVER 250 USED CARS CHECK OUT

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221 Puunene Ave., Kahului, HI 877-FORD (3673)

HRC MAUI 900 Front St., Lahaina Info: 808.667.7400

SAT, DECEMBER 20TH

MON, DECEMBER 22

And Win a Sushi Roll of Your Choice!

REGGAE AT THE ROCK WITH MARTY DREAD

Just fax to 667-0667 or email to sanseikapalua@sanseihawaii.com with the correct name and your contact info. First three correct winners will be selected for each late nite.

SAT, DECEMBER 27TH

The Shops at Kapalua

DECEMBER 18, 2003

¥ CARS, TRUCKS, VANS, SUV S ¥ DOMESTIC & IMPORTS

Name This CHEF!

Kapalua 669-6286 • Kihei 879-0004 40

WE BUY CLEAN USED CARS!

DA KINE CALENDAR

Near Foodland

ROADHOUSE RECKING CREW $3 COVER ND

$5 COVER

D.U.H. $5 COVER

HAPPY HOUR! 3-6pm & 10pm-12am EXCEPT SPECIAL EVENTS h a r d r o c k . c o m

Much anticipated first ever performance in Hawaii:

MICHAEL FRANTI and

SPEARHEAD Outdoors at the Lahaina Civic Center Amphitheater

FRIDAY JANUARY 2 Doors: 4pm • Show: 5pm $25 ADVANCE plus very special guest DJ LOGIC! world’s #1 turntablist, just opened for 4 Dave Matthews Band stadium shows & 20 Jack Johnson/Ben Harper dates Fall 2003

Don’t miss this show!

Tickets on sale now at all Maui Tacos: Ka’ahumanu Center, Kihei, Lahaina, Napili Paia: Wine Corner, The Enchantress, Requests Records Wailuku & Lahaina Groove 2 Music In association with Woody Harrelson and Laura Louie’s VoiceYourself.com “transforming the world together”

KAMA’AINA ROOM RATES AT THE ROYAL LAHAINA RESORT

1.800.222.5642 MENTION “SPEARHEAD”

Now Open Friday & Saturday Nights

FRIDAY DEC.19 DJ BOOMSHOT

SATURDAY DEC.20 DJ ZINN NT A UR TA S RE

& SUSHI BAR O

P EN IN G

The

Breakwater

D EC .3 1ST

Restaurant - Bar - Nightclub

Lounge • Sushi Bar • Special Events

900 Front Street • Lahaina Center (Behind Hard Rock Cafe–Formerly Maui Brews)

LETTERS

NEWS COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 18, 2003

41

thursday12/18

SANDBAR & GRILL

89 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8742

SANSEI 115 Bay Dr., Kapalua - 669-6286 SANSEI Kihei Town Center - 879-0004 SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

friday12/19

saturday12/20 sunday12/21

Resident DJs, Sal & Lucky Brown w/Nanda, $3, 9pm

Live music, TBA, 9pm

Fine Line, Reggae, $5, 9pm

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Crunch Pups, No cover, 9:30pm

The Pacific Storm, No cover, 9pm

Kenny Roberts & Friends, No cover, 9pm

Atomic Blues, $2, 9pm-1am

Bob Jones & Hard Drive, No cover, 9pm-1am

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-2am

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-2am

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave. - 572-1380

TSUNAMI NIGHTCLUB

3850 Wailea Alanui Dr. - 875-1234

40

$

monday12/22 – wednesday12/24

Mon - Live Monday Night Football, No cover, 4pm; Tue - John Moore Project, No cover, 9pm; Wed - Pool Tournament, No cover, 8pm

Trevor Jones, No cover, 2pm

Wed - Harris Moku & Company, No cover, 9pm

ROADHOUSE WRECKING CREW

VOO DOO SUNS

BAND ADS • EASY • AFFORDABLE • EFFECTIVE

Available for

Parties • Weddings • Conventions

Call 276-2115 or see our website for more info

FOR INFO CALL 661-3786

for booking info Charles

www.voodoosuns.com

a n n a W e?

Danc

IN

THE

H EART

CHERRY B MB TATTOO & BODY PIERCING

High-Energy Rock Blues

The Voo Doo Suns are available for your New Year’s Eve Party!!!

THE FINEST IN QUALITY TATTOO & BODY PIERCING

OF

Cherry 661-1192

1819 SOUTH KIHEI RD. 891-BODY(2639)

O LDE M AKAWAO T OWN

Wild Wahine Wednesday

L ADIES N IGHT D ISCO !

C ASANOVAT ’ SE F AMOUS T E C T A HE

VENING

HAT

ARNED

ASANOVA

HE

WARD

“B EST L ATE N IGHT I N M AUI ” MUSIC STARTS @ 9:45PM • $5 COVER

TH

C. 18UNDATION B E D R., UI AIDS FO L CLUEILA U H T D BY MA CIASTINY-SH

STO S-DE ER SORE DIVA $5 COV E SPON NOVA E / W M -S

5P CHA SA @ 9:4 CHA S T CA T S R J BLA C STA D

MUSI

TH

. 19 MIX I C E S TIM ,D FRI. ORGA ARNE &

IXS WITH DJ’S:45PM P O TR OOVE ARTS @ 9 FLYER

RGR USIC ST $7 WITH SUPE M VER -

$10 C

O

TH

TS CB.OY2P0 RESEN ND E D A E , SAATWA.IIAN HOTMH PI’ILANI

I T MUA W PA’AAND BEAVER O H O K KU - ISL $10 CO THE H

D / OUN 9:45PM S D @ N S A ISL START

MUSI

C

Make it a Memorable Evening • Dine and Dance at Casanova For dinner reservations call 572–0220 • Log on at casanovamaui.com 42

DECEMBER 18, 2003

DA KINE CALENDAR

TwâÄà fxÜä|vxá VELVET TOUCH Luxuriously soft hands for the most pleasurable, exotic experience you’ve ever had. Classy Out call and In call service available afternoons and evenings. Savannah 276-2304.

Taste of Tantra Sacred Sensual Bodywork

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CLUB TANTRA Pairs Only, Saturdays 7pm, 242-7021. Tantra loving demos, coached practice, then intimate party. Clubtantrahi@aol.com SCULPT-U BODYWORKS A deeply relaxing hour of exquisite bodywork 250-4817

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WOMEN Seeking Men MAUI CHICK This nice, caring, outgoing 20-year-old chick smoker, with one son, wants a Maui boy, 19-21, who’s looking for a long-term relationship. Friendship first. 826791

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PLAYFUL SPIRIT Attractive, athletic, open-minded SF, loves swimming, kayak surfing, ballroom and salsa dancing. Seeking financially secure, sweet, romantic, open-minded, conscious man, 35-50, w/good sense of humor, who loves surfing and travel. 821455 UP FOR SPORTS Petite, hazel-eyed fox in search of hunting dog for adventures in the woods.

827182

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PASSIONATE ABOUT ART? Pretty, passionate, young-looking SF, 5’6”, 135lbs, medium length blonde hair, artist.

Seeking traditional, honest man with sense of humor, to watch the sunset with.

811732

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BEAUTIFUL CREATIVE SOUL Looking for successful, secure, upbeat, N/S SWM, 40-55, to enjoy the island beauty, share long walks, inspiring talks, memorable meals and sensational sunsets.

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ALOHA LADIES! SWM, 33, 5’9”, 195lbs, light brown/hazel Capricorn, N/S, loves surfing, diving, the outdoors. Seeking fun woman, 18-40, for hanging out, dancing, beach walking, and more. 811772

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NEW TO THE ISLANDS SM, 46, well-built, healthy, enjoys golf, cycling, swimming, movies, dining out.

Seeking a lady, 35-49, for dating, possible LTR. 276839

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For customer service call 1-617-450-8773 or email MauiTime@placepersonal.com ABBREVIATIONS: A-Asian; B-Black; C-Christian; D-Divorced; F-Female; G-Gay; H-Hispanic; J-Jewish; M-Male; N/S-Non-Smoker; P-Professional; S-Single; W-White GUIDELINES: Personals are for adults 18 or over seeking monogamous relationships. To ensure your safety, carefully screen all responses and have first meetings occur in a public place. This publication reserves the right to edit, revise, or reject any advertisement at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content of or replies to any ad. Not a service of all ads have corresponding voice messages. To review our complete guidelines, call (617) 425-2636

LETTERS

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 18, 2003

43

AUTOMOTIVE AUTOMOTIVE SERVICES FINALLY IN LAHAINA!!

Full Service Motorcycle and Moped Repair. Great Service and Rates.

Behind the Train Station in Lahaina.

Spencer’s Cycles, 264-2545

35

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WEST MAUI GOLD 667-7689 1000 LIMAHANA PL. LAHAINA

EMPLOYMENT WARREN & ANNABELLE’S Maui’s most fun and amazing show is looking to add: P/T SERVER (Male & female) Must have great personality & neat appearance.

Applications available Mon-Fri 9 am4pm Warren & Annabelle’s 900 Front St., Lahaina No phone calls or faxes please.

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

COOL TRAVEL JOB. Entry level positions, 18+, no experience necessary, 2 weeks paid training, transportation, lodging provided. $500 GET OUT OF DEBT! signing bonus to start. TOLL FREE 1Stop harassment, reduce interest 888-272-2732. (AAN CAN) rates & fees. Let us deal with your creditors. Free consultation call MUSCLE STUDS WANTED! Auriton Solutions 877-245-5811 Endless earning potential! $500 www.auriton.org. (AAN CAN) cash/start.19-35 years. Serious only.

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Ad Deadline Monday 4pm To Advertise Call 661-3786 Fax Number 808.661-0446 Email classifieds@mauitime.com Website www.mauitime.com Mailing 658 Front Street #126A-7278 • Lahaina, HI Drop off 505 Front St. Ste. 216, Lahaina

DECEMBER 18, 2003

CLASSIFIED

Immediate openings! Now hiring Security Officers island-wide. We offer excellent employee training, competitive wages, excellent benefits, and free uniforms.

Apply today at 270 Hookahi Street, Suite 312 Wailuku, Hawaii 96793 or CALL 244-7579. EOE

NEED A SECOND JOB? Starting Out? Or a seasoned professional.

We have immediate openings for both Full Time & Part Time Team Members. No Experience Necessary!

We offer Flexible Schedules, Profit Sharing, Medical Benefits, On the Job Training, 401k, and Competitive salaries.

— 2 Positions Available —

CAREER POSITIONS Earn $12-$48 an hour. Full Benefits, paid training on Homeland Security, NATIONAL GRANT LOCATORS Law Enforcement, Wildlife, Clerical, Start obtaining free grants today. Administrative and more. 1-800-320Never Repay. Home Purchase/Repair/ 9353 ext. 2560. (AAN CAN) Business, Education, Emergency “MOVIE EXTRAS” Funds. Results Guaranteed. 1-800OLD ALBUMS 4 SALE $200-$600/day. All looks, types & 613-5447 Ext. 9020.

(AAN CAN) Moving & must sell this great collecages. No experience required. TV, tion of old record albums. 4 boxes GENUINE OPPORTUNITY music videos, film, Commercials. priced to sell. 808-661-3964.

No experience nec. $875/wk.poten- Work with the best. 1-800-260-3949 tial income mailing our postcards from Ext. 3560 (AAN CAN) home. FT/PT FREE supplies. Call 708MYSTERY SHOPPERS NEEDED 686-0300 (24 hours). (AAN CAN) National businesses need shoppers OWN A PC? PUT IT TO WORK! to evaluate products and services.

Earn up to $25-$75 per hour to start. Must have email. 1-800-503-1207 ext.

(808)874-5549 www.extraordinary- 9825. (AAN CAN) •coins •tokens •medals biz.com •paper money •stamps EBAY OPPORTUNITY! •Hawaiiana •sport collectibles $11-$33/hr. possible. Training GAIA GRAPHIC DESIGN Quality Logos- Flyers- Brochures- Provided. No Experience Required.

Websites starting @ $25./Hr. Call for For More Information Call 1-866-6212384 Ext. 7171 (AAN CAN) 3rd floor Wharf Cinema Ctr. FREE Estimates. 808-298-5380

283-7725

Securitas Security Services USA

WE WANT MINORITY WRITERS: The Academy for Alternative Journalism, supported by alternative papers like this one, seeks experienced minority journalists and students (college seniors and up) for a paid summer writing program at Northwestern University’s Medill School of Journalism, Chicago. The eight-week program (June 20 August 15, 2004) aims to recruit talented minority writers into the alternative press and train them in magazine-style feature writing. Ten participants will be chosen and paid $3,000 plus housing and travel allowances.

For information visit the Web site at www.medill.northwestern.edu/aaj or write for an application: Academy for Alternative Journalism, Northwestern University, Medill School of Journalism, 1845 Sheridan Road, Evanston, IL 60208. Email altacademy@northwestern.edu. Application deadline February 9,2004.

To apply, just go to our web site at www.kinkos.com Click career at the bottom of the page.Then click career search.

Choose Hawaii then the city Kahului. Choose either Basic or Advanced Team Member positions. Please fill out all the information boxes.Then click apply for this position. Choose the online form and fill out any additional general information. Print then click “Submit Application”.

If there are any questions, please call Fernando Pohina, General Manager

(808)871-2000 DATA ENTRY BARTENDERS UP TO $1000 Work from home. Flexible hours!

PER WEEK! Great pay! Computer required. 1-800- Bartender Positions Available. FT/PT. 382-4282 ext. #8. (AAN CAN) No Experience Required. Call 1-800806-0083 ext. 203. (AAN CAN) BARTENDER TRAINEES WANTED! No Experience Necessary! Have Fun CHARGE IT! & make up to $250 per shift! Local Maui Time Weekly Positions Available Now! Call 1-800accepts credit cards for 514-0227. (AAN CAN) classified and display ads

$ MODELS WANTED $ For calendar magazine and artistic print work. Ages 18 to 35. 573-3712

Be part of the hotel that began the Legend of Ka’anapali! The Sheraton Maui Hotel has the following career opportunities.

WAIT HELP COCKTAIL WAIT-HELP BANQUET WAIT-HELP BANQUET PORTERS Friendly, hardworking, experienced servers needed immediately in our restaurants and poolside outlets.

EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER Qualified individuals may apply in person or send resume to: Sheraton Maui, Human Resources Dept., 2605 Ka’anapali Parkway, Lahaina, HI 96761 Fax: 808/662-8071

NOT GETTING IT WEEKLY? call: 661-3786 EXT. 5

CLASSIFIED LINE AD RATES 5 lines included – approx. 140 characters

Frequencies of 1-8weeks Frequencies of 9-26weeks Frequencies of 27-52weeks

$15/week $11/week $8/week

Additional lines are $3 per each - bold and/or caps are $3 per line

MANAGEMENT POSITIONS Must possess at least six months of supervisory experience (preferably in food service), an excellent work ethic, strong motivational skills and a willingness to learn.

DELIVERY DRIVERS We are looking for licensed, insured drivers with a great attitude. Must be 18 years or older with a clean driving record. Starting pay is $6.25/hour plus tips and gas allowance.

(Potential $12-15 per hour with tips)

CREW MEMBERS

CLASSIC .95 ACRE OCEANFRONT ESTATE 6 Bedrooms, 6.5 Baths, 3 Car Garage, Pool-Spa, $6.95M, Barry Lee Brown-Broker, Remax Maui, LLC 661-1800

MAC/FILEMAKER HELP Macintosh and FileMaker solutions.

General Cleanup, installation of Software, hardware and networking, tutoring, digital audio / video, development of databases, applications and web sites. Call Les @ 870-0418 www.angeltech.com

S. & W. MAUI CONDOS

Fax resume/application to FAX:573-2454 Attn: Glenn Brissette

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MUSIC & ARTS

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MAUI RECYCLING SERVICE Picks up all your glass, plastic, aluminum, tin, mixed paper, & cardboard. Home Pickup; a convenience for $15/mo! Bimonthly pick up. Commercial accounts avail. Call Now! 244-0443

Surf the Maui MLS Listings at www.barrybrownmaui.com Barry Lee Brown (R) P.O. Box 11782 • Lahaina

(808) 661-1800

MUSICAL INSTRUCTION

GIVE A GIFT OF FLUTE LESSONS THIS HOLIDAY SEASON! APARTMENTS Teacher. Juilliard graduate, Paris FOR RENT Conservatory, 30 yrs. NYC freelance MAUI PARKSHORE exper. Lincoln Center, Carnegie Hall. 2 Bedroom, 2 Bath, Available Jan.15, Love teaching all ages from 6-adult, $1700/month Call 875-8049 amateur to professional. Private, & patient Piano lessons. Enjoys small flute ensemble. First sample lesson SHARED HOUSING, free, flex. schedule Call 878-8164

ROOMMATES

Learn to Sing NICK DAMIS VOCAL STUDIOS LEARN • Pitch, Range & Breath Control

• Options When Singing • Survival Techniques & More Beginners to Advanced Develop Your Perfect Voice

BRIDES TO BE...

Need to lose that last 5-10 lbs? Dr. Recommended Program. Call for your FREE evaluation.

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WWW.MOLOKAI PROPERTY.COM 5 acres oceanview $129K, 2 acres adj.

OUR READERS LOVE TO TRAVEL beach 180K, 30 acres $219K, 25.7 acres And, with one simple phone call, you oceanview $400K. Barry Lee Brown, can reach up to 17 million adventurous, Broker. Remax Maui, LLC 661-1800 travel connoisseurs in 100+ newspapers just like this one.

Go to www.aancan.com or call this newspaper for more information. (AAN CAN)

If you’re a team player, and you thrive in a place where teamwork makes it all happen, we’ve got the perfect place for you! Starting pay is $6.25/hour.

APPLY AT ANY PIZZA HUT LOCATION

EEO/AA Employer

SERVICES

ALL AREAS - ROOMMATE.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: www.Roommate.com (AAN CAN)

Maui Lawn Works

HIV COUNSELING AND TESTING If you feel that you have been potentially exposed to HIV and would like Free, Confidential and Anonymous testing call the Maui AIDS Foundation at 242-4900.

It is important to know your HIV status so that you do not unknowingly pass the virus to others, also early detection is vital to your health and treatment.

The Maui AIDS Foundation now offers Drop-In HIV Counseling and Testing (No appointment necessary) Drop in hours are Mon.-Fri. 8:30am to 4:30pm, Wed. 8:30am to 7pm 1935 Main Street, Wailuku For more information on HIV/AIDS, STD’s including Viral Hepatitis and HIV Counseling and Testing call the Maui AIDS Foundation at 242-4900.

In Hana call 248-7801, Lanai 5656722, and Molokai 553-9086.

A public health message provided by The Maui AIDS Foundation.

“we do all the work . . . so you can enjoy your yard”

PLACING AN AD IS EASY!

Jason Meyer

CALL

661-3786

573-1920

CALL NOW FOR MORE INFO:

(808) 250-1484 www.nickdamis.com

VACATION RENTALS

FREE DAILY TOURS! Perfect for Windsurfers or Travelers !

Join us for a Great Adventure in BLUE PAPAYA PRODUCTIONS Digital Recording Studio, Red Book Paradise! Banana Bungalow Maui Masters(Radio Quality), CD Graphic Design, Hostel 310 N. Market St. in Wailuku 1Duplication & Packaging, Reasonable 800-8HOSTEL or 808-244-5090 or info@mauihostel.com Rates. 250-2240 or 572-7166

MUSICIAN SERVICES

All Types of Music for all Types of Holiday Parties

CLEAN, AFFORDABLE Accomodations in our vaction rental from $49 per day. Call Toll Free Wailuku Guesthouse 877-986-8270 or www.wailukuhouse.com

Specializing in funky world grooves as seen at Jacques’ on Weds.

Creative Party Planning services too Call Joe 573-7573

SERVICES

ALOHA VALUED READERS We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most of our ads.

We read back the ad copy to ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want. If you see the acronym (AAN CAN) that ad is a national ad and was not submitted directly to us. If you have a question directly concerning AAN CAN, please check out aancan.org

REAL ESTATE FOR SALE CALL 007 For Properties Wailea to Ulupalakua, 25 Acres- Ulumalu Road, 37 AcresKanaio. SylviaCabral.com. 879-9007 FIJI OCEAN VIEWS 1 acre from $22/K, 10% Down, Owner Financing, Clear Title, Kit Homes Available. www.koroisland.com, 1-808232-6998

NEWS

Love Your Pet! See Your Vet!

Cynthia Jo Trawick, DVM

LARGE & SMALL ANIMALS Preventive Medicine, Surgery, Dentistry, Flea & Tick Control Haiku Market Place • 575-2811

Maui Recycling Service If not now, when?

CURBSIDE RECYCLING! FREE Recycling Bins – And No Sign-up Fee!

NOTICES

LETTERS

ISLAND ANIMAL CLINIC

When you subscribe for 3 months of biweekly service – (A $25 value!)

New customers only – offer expires 12/31/03

244-0443 • www.mauirecycles.com Paid for by County of Maui recycling grant funds.

Surf the Multiple Listing Service and Find Your Piece of Paradise.

Realtor (S)

visit www.mauiislandhomes.com (email) mmiller@mauiislandhomes.com 808.870.9601(cell) 808.661.5623(office)

SURF

DINING

• Tax Planning • Litigation Support & Preparation • Audits • Bookkeeping • Accounting Software & • Payroll Services Hardware Consulting

LAHAINA: 667-9512

505 Front Street, Ste. 222

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

rise to the occasion? You’re already moving before the light turns green. Slow and steady wins the race. Avoid explosive situations by being upfront and polite. The weekend promises to hold some excitement.

TAURUS: Presenting the right image in regards to work and career is more important to you now. Your artistic talents need to be seen. Legal situations should work in your favor. The new moon on the 23rd is lucky for you. Get ready to host a Christmas party.

GEMINI: Drama and intensity are found at each and every turn. Let go of traditional expectations. Be open to anything. You have the gift of discovery. Allow your curiosity to take you places. It’s a good time for getting close to your loved one.

CANCER: Your strength is visible to most and admired by many. You’ll be feeling more like a free agent at work. Partnership issues intensify with the new moon. Agreements, partnerships and marriages are best entered after a courting period.

LEO: Sometimes having fun leads to a deeper commitment. Watch your health and be careful not to overextend yourself. You’ll be relaxed even while you’re working. This is an excellent time to increase your alliances. Get out and meet people.

VIRGO: Turn on your love light. This is not the time to be a critic or an analysis operator.

It’s time to be a joker, a lover and a player. Get your game on. Throw as much caution to the wind as you can and then throw some more.

Winners aren’t born; they’re made.

LIBRA: You need a cool cave to snuggle into.

This is your hibernating season. This is when you look within and are rewarded by your imagination taking you to new heights. The new moon prompts your memory to holiday times of the past.

SCORPIO: Find a way to make things nicer in your neighborhood. Make your own holiday greeting cards out of recycled materials. Make up poems and or little jingles to go with the card. Be more willing to be an active participant in family matters.

SAGITTARIUS: A new day dawns and you’re playing King or Queen for the day come winter solstice. The coming new year is more important to you than you think. Establish yourself. Let people know about the services you provide along with your talents and skills.

CAPRICORN: The new moon in Capricorn on Tuesday sets a business-like tone.

You’re on top of the world. Many things are available to you that would normally be out of your reach. Friday and Saturday are best for parties and socializing.

AQUARIUS: Dazzle us with flash and beauty. Your unusual fetishes suddenly become hip.

It would be easy for you to start your own church or religious cult at this point. Sunday and Monday are your best days for people pleasing and socializing.

PISCES: Your potency is now seen in what you have rather than in who you are. A deeper karma to your relationships is seen. Your imagination is helping you with your creative projects. Team up with others to make plans for the future.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY: Keith Richards 12/18/43, Howard Hughes 12/24/05, Jennifer Beals 12/19/63 kozmickev@sunset.net

✴ ✴

✴

✴

✴✴

Call us today for a free initial consultation.

WAILUKU: 244-2030 2158 Main Street, Ste. 109

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

BY KOZMIC KEV

ARIES: The moment of truth is here. Will you

We Can Help You Achieve Your Goals MICHAEL R. MILLER

COVER STORY

KOZMICBREEZE

✴

Join the team that makes Hawaii’s BEST pizza!

CLASSIFIEDS

✴

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 18, 2003

45

HOLOHOLOGIRL

BY SAMANTHA CAMPOS

Going Everywhere, Doing Nothing Even the Party Girl can have a bad party. Last Sunday at the Ziggy Marley show it was obvious that everyone else was having a great time, but Jen and I were just the anti-social, artfully dodging, party poopers. Sour pussies, we called ourselves. It happens.

It’s probably because on Friday, I tried to do too much. It is the holidays after all, and somebody in the great big cosmic universe of nighttime entertainment decided to plan a bunch of cool things all over Maui and all on the same night! Well, it’s just unheard of. So I got a little excited and attempted—in vain—to do it all.

I picked Jen up from the airport and we immediately headed to the Hang Loose Lounge in Kahului. There, we toiled over her family’s eccentricities—they have Paul Simon singalongs—as is customary during the holidays, and caught up on her vacation and my adjustment into the “Sugar Shack.”

See, I just moved this past week, too. Not only did I move in with my wild and crazy party girlfriend Jen, but also our wild and even crazier girl friend Sonja. And the place is within walking distance to all the pertinent dives we like to frequent in town. How lucky are we? And how scared is the town? I guess not very—YET—hence we’ve been given the moniker, “Sugar Shack.” You’ll just have to wait and see what unfolds there...

When Jen and I got back into Lahaina, we, of course, had to stop by the Sly Mongoose so she could see and be welcomed back by her other family. Then we went to the Grand PreOpening of the Breakwater—you know, where the old Maui Brews used to be. It was cool and all loungey with couches and low hanging lights and lots of attractive people.

Unfortunately, I had to leave before all the action really got going. I heard Lahaina Grown and Nuffsed were awesome, as well as “’Lil Style” and some other amazing hip-hop and R&B artists that followed, and that the place got packed. But I had a plan and a mission and had to move on.

The next stop was Hapa’s in Kihei where Atmosphere was the main attraction. All my favorite people were there and eagerly anticipating the underground hip hop act that’s been quite the buzz on island. I hung out and chatted, flirted and got harassed affectionately by my friends—and then I had to leave. I did get to see DJ Twist, who was great, but I totally missed the rest of the show. My friends said it was the best hip-hop show they’ve seen on Maui. Well of course it was. But I was off to Makawao…

I was really looking forward to seeing DJ Swamp at Casanova, but had to make a pit stop at the SandBar in Paia first.

There was an improv rock fusion band performing there—I don’t even think they had a name— and they were awesome. People were dancing, having a good time, trying to buy me drinks—but I had to keep moving. Yeah, the plan and mission thing.

By the time I got up to see DJ Swamp, I was ready to boogie and he definitely provided the beats. There weren’t too many people in the place, but they were all dancing, including me. It was one of those shows where I felt like I was being let in on a cool secret. But being in the mode I was, I still ventured on to the Stopwatch for last call.

Saturday, Jen went to her Sly Mongoose Christmas Party at Ruth Chris Steak House, and then the UFO Christmas Party at Erik’s Seafood— both in Lahaina. Key words? Open Bar. You gotta love this season of the Christmas Work Parties.

Yeah, so come Sunday, all hung-over and party-pooped out, we didn’t feel like being at home, didn’t really feel like going out and we just didn’t know what to do with ourselves. But don’t worry, we’ll be back in action and ready to corrupt Maui’s nightlife next week! MTW

Tune in for: Nickelback Audioslave Staind A Perfect Circle Jet & more

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FOR ADVERTISING INFORMATION CALL 661-3786 46

DECEMBER 18, 2003

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Mind Body

Mind Body Spirit A G U I D E F O R H E A LT H Y L I V I N G

“KICKING BUTTS WITH CHRISTINE” An acupuncture smoking cessation program with Christine Asuncion. Blue Bamboo Chinese Medical Center 2099 Wells St. Wailuku, 244-6778

Spirit $15 BIKRAM

YOGA KIHEI

900 FRONT ST. I-18 662-8535

MALE WITCH Psychic readings and counseling.

Casting and removal of spells. Contact with spirits. Call 24/7. Tom 800-4193346. Credit/Debit Cards. Get back the one you love. (AAN CAN) FREE CANNABIS FOR LIFE Become a practitioner or a minister today. Free membership. We are safe and loved. All is well. www.thc-ministry.org (808) 961-0488 MAUI’S HOLISTIC EVENTS Maui’s most complete listing of Mind Body & Spirit events. Visit www.mauivision.net. New Maui Vision issue out now! 669-9091 HEY MAUI MOVERS & SHAKERS! Come experience NIA, the expressive movement/fitness technique making waves all over the globe! Tone your body, tune your mind & touch your heart and soul. Classes taught by Certified NIA Teacher, Erin Graue. 242-4343, niamaui.com

Wake up and become the magnetic dreamboat stud she will notice. Leave the macho studs in the sand; become the man she never leaves for a sexy abuser.

Learn the secrets of what really turns women on; makes them happy and excited about being and staying with you.

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Do you take vitamins?

How do you know if they work?

Now we can measure the antioxidants in your body. Antioxidant scanning now available on Maui! $5.00 Noninvasive test. It only takes 3 minutes.

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FIRST WEEK UNLIMITED START NOW FOR THE NEW YEAR IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

KUKUI MALL 281-9262

EASTERN HEALING ARTS WITH SEYMOUR KOBLIN

Zen Touch Body Reading & Healing Introductory Session Jan 8th / 6-9 pm / $40

Beginner’s Yoga

Join Pascal & Cindi at their heavenly beachside studio at Paia Bay

$80 for 10 classes $120 monthly unlimited CALL NUMBER FOR SCHEDULE

573-4288

65 HANA HWY., PAIA

ALOHA SEXUAL HEALTH & HAPPINESS

Clarity • Specifics • Guidance

KAVA BAR Now open 6 am-6 pm, 7 days a week @ Wow Wee, Maui’s Cafe. 333 Dairy Rd. (next to Down to Earth) 871-1414 NATUROPATHIC DOCTOR Treating all conditions without drugs or surgery using natural medicines, spinal manipulation & acupuncture. Dr. Collon Brayce, 242-6787.

Confidential • Free Phone Consultation

COLON THERAPY With Shelley St John RN., CHT. Other holistic therapies available. 573-0696

Move with purpose Feel your body Express your soul Classes taught by Certified NIA teacher,

Erin Graue

242-4343 www.niamaui.com

International Psychic/Medium

Jason L Oliver Known for accuracy - 30 years experience

Certified Hypnotist, Certified (NLP), Certified Huna Therapist Give Yourself A Gift That Will Last Forever!

Eliminate your failure chain, your self doubt, Your unhealthy patterns and limiting beliefs with NLP (NeuroLinguistics)

Doctor of Human Sexuality If not now, when? 891.0952 www.sexhappiness.com

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LETTERS

NEWS

808 879 4266

PLACING AN AD IS EASY!

COVER STORY

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MASSAGE $30 MASSAGE MATINEE!!!

Acupuncture & Facials too! Matinee price 9-11am, 7 days a week. Blue Bamboo Chinese Medical Center, 2099 Wells St. Wailuku 244-6778 MASSAGE THERAPY With Daniel Fowler, Available in Wailuku. $70 or sliding scale.

Specializing in Therapeutic Lomilomi, Deep Tissue and Injury rehabilitation.

MAT # 2765 Call 280-0733

HANDS IN MOTION MAUI

• Professional Therapeutic Massage • Specializing in Deep Tissue • Outcall ONLY • Gift Certificates Available

250-4515

CHRONIC ISLAND BrookeVIBE CLOTHING @ 6120, AMTA 110175 MAT# ISLANDSPICEHAWAII.COM

CALL

661-3786

Maui Time Weekly accepts credit cards for classified and display ads

505 Front St. Ste. 216, Lahaina

Get Relief For Your Really Tough Pain or Chronic Health Problem BACK, NECK & JOINT PAIN • HEADACHES ARTHRITIS • ALLERGIES • ASTHMA DIGESTIVE DISORDERS INJURIES from WORK & AUTO ACCIDENTS

BOOK YOUR AD TODAY! 26 Years Experience

DR. COLLON BRAYCE NATUROPATHIC PHYSICIAN / ACUPUNCTURIST

242-6787 DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

classifieds@mauitime.com

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CHRONIC ISLAND VIBE CLOTHING @ ISLANDSPICEHAWAII.COM

1975 VINEYARD ST. #404, WAILUKU, HI 96793

SURF

EMAIL

MAILING

661-3786 EXT. 5

871-2402 credit cards accepted

FAX NUMBER 808.661-0446

www.mauitime.com

251 Lalo Street Kahului

*Offer valid for Kama’aina residents only

TO ADVERTISE Call 661-3786

658 Front Street #126A-7278 Lahaina, HI 96761

10 CLASSES FOR $10 IN 10 DAYS * www.bikramhawaii.com

AD DEADLINE MONDAY 4PM

WEBSITE

NOT GETTING IT WEEKLY? HERE’S YOUR CHANCE

INTRODUCTORY SPECIAL!!!

CHARGE IT!

For Appointments or Information Call 879-0566 Gift Certificates Available

Private Sessions & Classes

Michael Ra Bouchard, M.A., Ph.D.

283-5575

BEGINNER YOGA CLASS

MAT #7179

891-9247 Mind Body Spirit

MAUI ACADEMY HEALING ARTS

BIKRAM’S

FOR YOUR HEALTH & WELL BEING

RESULTS

Holli Pierce Certified Endermologie Technician

1847 S. KIHEI RD.

In Kihei

875-2081 Sharon Brooks, Clairvoyant

Counseling For all Sex & Intimacy Concerns

HEALING HANDS BARBARA WILLIAMS

Call Daniel at 264-1277.

Mind Body Spirit $15 one week

Intuitive Counseling

ENDERBODIES

“IMPROVING EVERY PART OF YOUR LIFE WITH EVERY DAY OF YOUR PRACTICE”

(introductory offer for local residents)

CLASSES & INSTRUCTION

CLASSIFIEDS

CHRISTINE ASUNCION, L.Ac. Traditional Japanese acupuncture, immune building, sports medicine and addiction. Blue Bamboo Chinese Medical Center, 2099 Wells St., Wailuku, 244-6778

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

Call 661-3786 x5 by 4 pm on Monday to get your ad in Maui Time Weekly!

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 18, 2003

47

BLUES & JAZZ 12/18 12/19 8pm

THE PARTY KING!

BOBBY INGRAM

1945H SOUTH KIHEI RD • 879-9944

CRUNCH PUPS

ROCKIN THE NIGHT AWAY

HORSEMANSHIP DAY CAMP Fun for Christmas! Riding-Lovely, Well-Trained Ponies, Picnics, Games. Make New Friends! Dec. 20-24 & Dec. 26-30. Piiholo Stables, Call Jillian at 572-1789

Discount Prescription Drugs

West Maui/Molokai Special. Only Air Maui offers this incredible flight! Call now for your 2 for 1 Kama’aina special or special visitor rate! Expires Dec. 31, 2003.

For reservations call 877-7005

KONA: (808) 327-1265

PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION?

30 MASSAGE MATINEE (9-11 pm 7 days a week)

39

HOT MAUI BABES Exclusive “Girls of Maui” 2004 Bikini & Nude Calendars. Available at Paradise Spice, paradisespice.com & coming to a store near you. Now auditioning photo models. 249-2449

Gift Baskets & Flowers Delivered on Maui or shipped worldwide. Sweet Life Fruit Co. 808-27SWEET (277-9338) www.mauifruitbaskets.com

THURSDAY

HORHITOS

FRIDAY

244-6778

L I P O A

S T R E E T ,

Lahaina

MAUITIME.COM ALL EDITORIAL AND DA KINE CALENDAR! CLICK AWAY!

Kama’aina Special $10 T-Shirts

Hiring models for stock projects. $50/hour. Fitness, beauty, lifestyle. All ages. Mail photo: RC Studios, PO Box 1758, Kihei, HI 96753. Just visiting? Call 874-5755. For info: www.ronchapple.com/model

MAUI GROMS • SKATE & SURF Kihei’s newest skate and surf shop for the Groms. We carry Billabong, Black Label, Element, Maui Skimmers, Independent, Baker, Venture, Grind King & more...

Mention you saw this ad in MauiTime and get 20% OFF! 2395 S. Kihei Road, Dolphin Plaza 874-5788

819 Front Street • Old Poi Factory • Lahaina

SATURDAY

CANO

Drink Specials ALL Night!

E .

Free Consultations

•

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SUNDAY

MONDAY

Drink Specials ALL Night!

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TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

ALOHA ULTRA WEDNESDAY Drinks FAB ALL $2 until TUESDAY Midnight!

Ladies Willie K FLAVA TEEN & Night ZONE NIGHT JOE HAWAII

KONI 104.7 4 1

Acupuncture Facial Massage

Slip#7

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Models Needed

Fresh Maui Fruit Baskets

We can help! We specialize in matching families with birthmothers nationwide. TOLL FREE 24 hours a day 866-921-0565. ONE TRUE GIFT ADOPTIONS. (AAN CAN)

661-0338

$

2099 Wells St., Wailuku

Our religious defense works 100% www.thc-ministry.org (808)961-0488

Special offer for new customers: 10-minute psychic reading for only $1.99! Call 800-833-KEEN to get answers from a top-rated love Psychic. Credit card and 18+ required. (AAN CAN)

Top Fishing Boat in Lahaina Since 1974

Treating all conditions without drugs or surgery using natural medicines, spinal manipulation & acupuncture. Dr. Collon Brayce.

TOLL FREE 1-800-590-0133

FREE MARIJUANA

Fun Fishing Trips for Kids!

NATUROPATHIC DOCTOR 242-6787

BLUE BAMBOO Chinese Medical Center & Spa

Maui: (808) 667-2774

8:30-11pm

2 for 1 Special!

STOP WISHIN & GO FISHIN

RATED #1

WITH TYRONE

BRING THE FAMILY SING EARLY!

Air Maui Helicopter Tours

$ 42’ Bertram Sportfisher

WEDNESDAYS

100 INCH SCREEN

ALL DAY LONG!

Maui Music has a great selection of used CD’s! Kihei Commercial Center, 300 Okukai Rd #C110 • 8918090

ISLAND STYLE CLOTHING

Is Love in Your 2004 Forecast?

$2 STEINLAGERS

12/24 KARAOKE

LIVE ACTION! FOOD & DRINK SPECIALS GALORE!

CD’s & DVD’s NEW & USED

Action

Come and See The Island’s Best Selection of Rare & One-Of-A-Kind Hawaiian Memorabilia. Island Coins & Stamps, Wharf Cinema Center, 3rd Floor, Lahaina, 667-6155

SATURDAYS

OPEN 7AM • $8 BREAKFAST BUILD YOUR OWN OMELETS

NFL SUNDAY & MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

Refills. Guaranteed. $3.60 per 100mg. Why pay more? We have the answer! Vioxx, Celebrex, Lipitor, more! Prescription Buyers Group. 1-866-887-7283.

(AAN CAN)

FISHING

1800.00 FOR ONE PENNY!

12/21 & 12/22

VIAGRA - LOWEST PRICE

Phentermine, Soma, Tramadol, Ambien, Viagra No doctor’s fees or appointments! Free FedEx next-day delivery! Licensed U.S. Pharmacy. www.orderUSprescription.com or 1-800-721-0648 (AAN CAN)

819 Front Street • Old Poi Factory • Lahaina

COLLEGE 12/20 FOOTBALL

MAT#5293

High visibility! Low Costs! Back Side Classifieds Work!

CALL (808) 661-3786 for complete details!

FREAKY FRIDAYS

COORS LIGHT SPECIALS!

DANCING ALL NIGHT LONG!

back side

LIVE MUSIC

Willie K OWNS

Mondays!

DJ SKINNY & FAT JOE

$3 Steinlagers L I P O A

C E N T E R ,

K I H E I

•

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