07.37 Moscow State Circus, March 11, 2004, Volume 7, Issue 37, MauiTime

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MARCH 11

Those Russian

Clowns

pg.10

The Moscow State Circus Rolls Into Town

12 IAO CAFE HAS CRABS And we like that

18 THE EXTENDED FAMILY How to spend your Wailea Nights

30 HOLOHOLO GIRL Salutes the Irish

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FEBRUARY 12, 2004

CONTENTS VOLUME 7 • ISSUE 37

COVER STORY 10 Those Russian Clowns The Moscow State Circus Rolls Into Town

by Joe Gatto and Samantha Campos

LOCAL NEWS 5 ‘Not a Good Disease to Get’ 8

The scary things in our pans and teeth

by Anthony Pignataro

Remembering Bravo

Ahh, the circus - P. 10

Will there ever be peace on Earth?

by Joshua Cooper

DINING 12 Iao Cafe Has Crabs

DEPARTMENTS

And we like that

by Ted Fawcett and Elaine Gast

4 LETTERS 4 EH BRAH!

A&E 18 The Extended Family

4 TIDES & TIMES

How to spend your Wailea Nights

by Darren Sarno

6 COCONUT WIRELESS

FILM CRITIQUE 19 Hard Service

6 OVERHEARD...

7 NEWS OF THE WEIRD

Spartan ( )

by Cole Smithey

Front Street’s

13 DINING LISTINGS

DAY&NIGHT 20 Movie Capsules & Times

27 PERSONALS

One Of A Kind

28 CLASSIFIED LISTINGS

21 this week’s picks 22 The Grid 23 Da Kine Calendar

Shopping Nook!

29 KOZMIC BREEZE 30 HOLOHOLO GIRL 32 BACK SIDE

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Editor: Anthony Pignataro anthony@mauitime.com Associate Editor: Samantha Campos sam@mauitime.com Calendar Goddess: Kim Welch kim@mauitime.com Contributing Writers: Joshua Cooper, Ted Fawcett, Elaine Gast, Joe Gatto, Koz McKev, Darren Sarno, Chuck Shepherd, Cole Smithey Illustration: Glenn Watson Photography: Sean M. Hower, Kirsten Guenther

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MauiTime Weekly is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2004 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. Maui Time Weekly may be distributed only by MauiTime Weekly’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime Weekly is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime Weekly, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime Weekly are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime Weekly.

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NEWS

GENETICALLY MODIFIED LETTER A Maui resident recently told me that they could not be against genetically modified organisms (GMOs) because “we have to find some way to feed the world” (“Talking Like The X-Files,” Jan. 22). This is a lovely idea, BUT it is not being solved by genetic engineering.

World hunger is a problem of distribution, not production. Many hungry nations do not want to feed their populations genetically modified corn, soy AND many GMOs have had less production, not more. The Third World food supply, which relies heavily on farmers saving their own seed, becomes illegal with use of GMO seed. Also GMO seeds often require expensive chemicals, which kill critical soil microorganisms and make subsistence farming prohibitive.

-Mary McClung, Hana

CLARIFICATION Lynda Arena shot the photos for the Mar. 4 story “Big Maui Mojo.”

Maui Time welcomes letters commenting on our coverage, but only if they’re complimentary. If you still wish to complain about something, please have the decency to use plenty of bad punctuation and grammar— that makes it easier for us to make fun of you when we respond. Send your letters to the editor via e-mail (letters@mauitime.com), regular mail (Letters to the Editor, Maui Time Weekly, 658 Front Street, Ste. 126A-7278, Lahaina, HI 96761) or fax (808-661-0446). All correspondence must include your full name, hometown and phone number.

EH BRAH! ehbrah@mauitime.com

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Cole Smithey responds: It does not appear that the writer here had seen The Passion Of The Christ when he replied to my review. He misquotes my view of Gibson’s “erroneous” scene of Christ’s front and back being turned to hamburger with a cat o’ nine tails. The Bible quote that Christ was “marred more than any man” supports my point. To read into that passage that we (the audience) should witness Christ being ripped apart to expose his muscle and bone is blasphemy. Regarding the reader’s choice of Debbie Does Dallas, Deep Throat, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre as movies representational “gratuitous garbage Hollywood thrives on,” it should be noted that none of these movies

were “Hollywood” films, but rather independent films, as is Gibson’s movie. Saving Private Ryan would be a more accurate choice for an example of a Hollywood movie that thrived on gratuitous violence and that, like Gibson’s film, should have garnered an NC-17 rating.

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less, changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent to “Eh Brah!” c/o Maui Time Weekly, 658 Front Street, Ste. 126A–7278, Lahaina, HI 96761 or send an e-mail to

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In response to the film critique by Cole Smithey (“The Banishing of the Gibson,” Feb. 26) it is unfortunate he writes from an obvious bias and ignorance. It is expected though, since [the review was] written by someone without spiritual insight, as were most of us, including Mel Gibson before having to come to grips with the Cross.

Christians have been waiting to see a more realistic portrayal than those Greatest Story Ever Told depictions you referred to.

Mr. Cole spoke of erroneous history— quite the contrary. Scripture says “he was marred more than any man.” With all the forces of evil inciting the day to pay for your sin and mine, Mr. Gibson’s portrayal [in The Passion of the Christ] is still lacking full reality. This was not a normal crucifixion—all of the evil, sin and hatred of this world, including yours, was poured out on the Son of God. To say Mr. Gibson is greedy is preposterous. He used his own money and risked his career on this venture. Those of us who love Jesus love this film and weep for those who just don’t get it.

I hope you have written to ban Debbie Does Dallas, Deep Throat, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and all of the other gratuitous garbage Hollywood thrives on.

-Alan Garner, Lahaina

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You are a very ungracious, self-centered, disgusting person right now. Why don’t you try to think about what others have done for you to make your life easier over the last year? These are people you’ve just snobbed out and taken advantage of! You have mental problems and you need to get professional help. Please don’t put your daughter through the experiences you had when you were a kid. Look at what that’s done to you.

I hope you read this and get a wake up call. Please save yourself.

LOCALNEWS

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

Tales from the Five-0

‘Not a Good Disease to Get’

By Anthony Pignataro

The scary things in our pans and teeth We were feeling pretty good the other night and, finding ourselves in the vicinity of the Down to Earth store in Kahului, decided to stop by and take in the monthly “Wellness Wednesday” lecture. On this day, which was March 3, the guest speaker was a Canadian naturopathic physician named Dr. Ian Cholewa, who also runs an office in Kihei.

After getting situated with a dozen others in the health food store’s upstairs café—which smelled vaguely of ranch dressing from all the salads being consumed—Cholewa began his lecture on the dangers of and treatments for prolonged exposure to toxic metals.

“I try to treat the cause of disease,” said Cholewa in his musical, European voice with which he pronounced “gasoline” as “gazzzoleeen.” “The underlying problems,” he said, “rather than the symptoms.” Most of his patients, he said, are people “who don’t feel good but nothing seems wrong with them.”

Cholewa explained that toxic metals like aluminum, lead, arsenic, mercury and such appear all around us in paint, treated lumber, pots and pans. They are, to say the least, not good.

“Toxic metals inhibit enzymatic reactions,” he said. “Without enzymes, we would never be able to digest a meal. Toxic metals also affect cell membranes and nerve functions. We can also inherit toxins from our parents… mothers will transfer the toxins to the infant.”

Cholewa began with one of the better known toxins: arsenic.

“The main problem with arsenic is cancer,” said Cholewa. “All lumber is treated with arsenic. With a lot of it. It’s used in decks, on playgrounds. Little kids play on it.”

We were starting to get a little woozy, but Cholewa moved on to other toxins. He said he gets cadmium a lot, mostly from exposure to cigarette smoke. A symptoms chart

Transmitting toxins Cholewa handed out noted that cadmium causes hypertension and, sometimes, sexual impotence.

Cholewa said lead exposure is “usually not a big deal,” which we liked hearing, since his disease chart said it causes anemia and “loss of IQ.” But then he moved on to Mercury, which we remembered spilling in junior high school physics lab.

“Mercury is probably the most common problem,” said Cholewa. “It is very bad. People get it from mouth fillings and fish—particularly shark, swordfish, tuna—as well as fresh

water fish. It affects nerve functions.”

Hmmm… fillings. We thought back to all those agonizing hours we spent in the dentist’s chair getting our teeth drilled. One woman interrupted by telling about how her friend had her fillings removed, but went blind for three days from the sudden exposure to mercury fumes.

Cholewa sat back smiling. “Well, you need to go to someone who knows what he’s doing.

But it’s not necessary to remove fillings that are older than 15 years,” Cholewa said.

Our eyes brightened. Our fillings were all at least 20 years old, perhaps even older.

“Yeah,” he said. “It’s really not worth it to remove them because all the mercury has already leaked out.”

Much to our relief, Cholewa then began talking about chelating—pronounced “key-lating”— which is how he treats metals exposure. Chelating agents come in either synthetic or natural forms, bind up and pull toxins from the body.

He said he gets really good results from using a small organism called Chlorella as well as Cilantro, which also tastes really good and has lots of nutrients. The nutrients are important because chelating agents will pull out all metals from the human body, including those we need to live. Cholewa said it takes 20 to 40 sessions typically to clean a person out.

But then he started talking about metals again, which made us start to feel weak and fatigued, which his toxics chart showed can be symptoms of lead and tin exposure.

“Aluminum,” he said. “Let’s talk about aluminum a little bit.”

Cholewa said aluminum causes the always fatal ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease, which he said was a “disease that’s not good to get.”

According to Cholewa, aluminum is the most common metal on earth, and appears a lot in cookware. He said cooking acidic foods in aluminum pans, like spaghetti sauce, will really increase the toxic levels of your meal.

Cholewa then talked about cadmium and solvent toxicity, but we don’t know what he said as we’d already fled the building. MTW

When We Can’t Do It Ourselves...

Don’t know if you noticed, but lately, Maui police officers have been killing more people than usual— the usual being zero. Police Chief Tom Phillips says it’s the bad guys who are getting rougher, and that assaults on his officers have sky-rocketed over the last few years. Is he right? Perhaps this timeline of every fatal police shooting in the last 50 years—and a couple nonfatal ones—will help. Keep in mind that all of the following actions have been considered justified:

April 13, 1958 An injured man being transported by two officers from Hana to Kahului suddenly grabs officer William F. Roback’s gun, then kills him and wounds Lt. Leslie Medeiros in the face.

Medeiros pulls his own gun and kills the man.

Dec. 2, 2002 Fifty-one-year-old Pukalani resident and musician Richard Gregory dies of a heart attack after struggling for five minutes with three police officers trying to arrest him in a Lahaina music studio. The cops deny striking or choking Gregory, but admit they ignored his cries that he couldn’t breathe as they subdued him. (Not a shooting, but it was fatal.)

July 25, 2003 After 25-year-old Patrick S. Prather of Kula allegedly refused to hand over a loaded pistol during a traffic stop, one officer shoots him in the shoulder.

Aug. 26, 2003 An officer shoots Casey Strom Nies once in the pelvis outside a Kihei Longs Drugstore after he refuses to give himself up following a bizarre sword attack he allegedly carried out that left one man injured.

Jan. 23, 2004 Two officers shoot 27-year-old Lisa Tomita Kaina on a crowded Baldwin Ave. in Paia after a high-speed chase resulting from her allegedly stealing a Cadillac in Kahului. She dies instantly from a single bullet to her left temple.

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Feb. 29, 2004 Former Marine and apparent homeless man Charles Benson Ogden allegedly pepper-sprays an officer after a short chase on a beach just south of Lipoa St. in Kihei. Partially blinded by the spray, the officer then fires six shots at Ogden at close range, killing him. MTW

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LOCALNEWS

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

MONDAY, MAR. 1

TUESDAY, MAR. 2

It’s Day Four in Storm Watch 2004.

Other than biblical amounts of rain and wind, nothing much happened over the weekend. Sure, Sunday morning there was that guy who drove his Dodge Durango up a handicapped access ramp and into the Kahului Airport Terminal, then set it ablaze and apparently started yelling “I want to die” as security agents dragged him away. Then later that night there was that incident in Kihei when a Maui copper chased down some dude on the beach, shot and killed him and then had to go to the hospital to get treated for exposure to some “mysterious chemical” which later turned out to be pepper spray… The General Accounting Office (GAO)—consider it a Congressional watch-dog—releases a report calling the sweetheart deal that allows Norwegian Cruise Lines (NCL) to fly U.S. flags on ships constructed overseas while sailing in Hawaiian waters a “monopoly.” According to the Associated Press, Democratic Senator Daniel Inouye and the “rest of the state’s congressional delegation” got the exemption passed. But the GAO did stop short of saying there was a danger of price-fixing, insisting that “other vacation options” exist as a form of competition. You mean like paying insanely high ticket prices to fly to another island?… Way over in Japan, the Tokyo fuzz just raided the offices of the Seibu Railway Company—yup, the same outfit that wants to get our own Makena Beach all resortified—and arrested three executives, reports the Associated Press. Seems the corporate bosses might have been involved with thugs known as sokaiya, guys with tiny shares in companies who threaten to disrupt shareholders meetings with wild accusations unless paid bribes. Seibu has denied any wrongdoing.

Today’s the day the inevitable “I can’t believe my friend who would never hurt a fly decided to drive his Dodge Durango into the Kahului Airport terminal and try to set it on fire” story comes out, and The Maui News doesn’t disappoint. “This wasn’t Paul [Blatchley],” said his “friend and partner for 26 years” Francis Lobik in today’s News. “This was somebody else. Paul was not the type who would go out and do harm to people. He didn’t know what he was doing. He just didn’t know what he was doing.” If Lobik’s description of a good man gone Looney Tunes is true, Blatchley probably doesn’t deserve the attempted murder rap the Fed is about to tie around his throat.

COCONUT WIRELESS THE WEEK IN REVIEW

FRIDAY, MAR. 5 WEDNESDAY, MAR. 3 It’s time for another Media Watch, where we take a look at the news behind the views behind the people who bring you the news. This week, Maui Weekly Publisher/Editor in Chief Joseph Sugarman is at it again, writing about the proposed Makena Resort without disclosing that the paper has a financial interest in the extremely controversial development project. As we previously reported (“Makena Weekly,” Dec. 11, 2003), Everett Dowling— who owns half of the Weekly—is planning on investing in the development once it’s approved.

After describing his definition of good leadership—“being decisive in your life”—Sugarman then berates the Maui County Council for letting one member exercise exactly that kind of leadership. “The nine-member County Council has let councilman Wayne Nishiki single-handedly impose an un-proclaimed moratorium by exercising powers he was never granted as chair of the Land Use Committee,” is how Sugarman characterized Nishiki’s methodical examination of the proposed Makena development. “Nishiki, who has nothing to lose because he cannot legally be reelected to his council seat, is abusing his power by simply never scheduling issues he

OVERHEARD...

“YOU KNOW, HE’S STILL GOT THAT LIFE-SIZE STAND-UP OF DEREK JETER IN HIS OFFICE.” -Guy talking to his friends, Hard Rock Café, Mar. 4

doesn’t want to see considered.” In conclusion: newspaper supporting or opposing any political issue=good; newspaper supporting or opposing any political issue because it stands to make a financial killing=violation of generally accepted journalistic ethics.

THURSDAY, MAR. 4 The Maui News today ran the three sweetest words in the English language: “Mystery oil slick.” Well, that and “clean drug test.” Anyway, according to County Public Works director Gil Coloma Agaran, “some kind of petroleum product” flowed over four roads and a parking lot in Napili yesterday. As to the source of the ooze, no one could say, except that it was, um, oozy. “It went down one road and up another,” Napili resident Barry Harkin told the News.

“But I don’t know for sure what it is.” Residents and officials looked and looked, but could find no source for the “material.” “It was difficult to tell where it originated because it was every-

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Today Fort Lauderdale-based XStream Beverage Group, Inc. dropped a bombshell with its announcement it had just “acquired” the Maui Juice Company, which has long sold its seven-flavor line of “fresh perishable juices” in Hawaii. “We consider the Maui Juice Company one of the hidden gems in the beverage industry,” said XStream CEO Jerry Pearring in a press release. “Maui Juice has been an Hawaiian favorite long before any of the prominent national brands in the functional drink/new age category were even developed.” Pearring insisted that Maui Juice’s “premium juice and nutrientenhanced juice drinks” would still be made on Maui “utilizing lush, tropical ingredients from local resources.” According to the release, the Maui Juice acquisition comes on the heels of XStream buying “historic Squeeze soda” which was the company’s “first entry in the ‘retro’ gourmet soda category.” A year ago, XStream also went global by selling “its proprietary energy drink, Yohimbe,” which is made “from the bark of the West African Corynanthe Yohimbe tree.” If that doesn’t make you thirsty, I don’t know what will… You know what makes me thirsty? Big land deals. And Oprah Winfrey trainer Bob Greene just sealed another one, this time buying 1,000 acres from the Haleakala Ranch. Apparently, Greene wanted something a little more substantial than Winfrey’s 31-acre Thompson Ranch, which sits next door.

Winfrey and Greene also own 107 acres of prime shorefront Hana land. No word yet on whether Winfrey and Greene will use the land to grow an orchard of Yohimbe trees. MTW

“Get out of your head and into your body”

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where,” resident Liz Foote said ominously…

Great news, comedy fans! Shawn Kau’i “Bu La’ia” Hill can stand trial without undergoing a mental exam, Judge Joseph Cardoza ruled today. Hill is being held on two separate assault charges, one for allegedly attacking his wife— Hill says his wife actually attacked him—and another for allegedly going after an animal control officer with a pickax. According to The Maui News, Hill’s wife said he’d been acting strange ever since December, doing things like urinating on the bed, writing on the walls of their home, giving away money to strangers and telling his family to “keep the water on in the shower.” Boy, Cardoza’s a tough judge of sanity.

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NEWSOFTHEWEIRD THE SACRED INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE In February, Hindus in a village near Pondicherry, India, during a traditional ceremony believed to bring relief to a droughtstricken region, tried to appease the god of rain by “marrying” a neem tree (the bride) to a peepul tree (groom). In 2002, “News of the Weird” reported a similar ceremony involving two donkeys. Last year, in a wedding to vanquish bad luck from a 9-year-old girl, villagers in the Hooghly district of West Bengal, India, married her off to a dog. And in Nice, France, in February 2004, Ms. Christelle Demichel wed her sweetheart Eric in a malefemale ceremony. Eric had been killed by a drunk driver two years earlier, but French law allows the marriage to proceed if the paperwork had been completed and if President Chirac approved, which he did.

NO JOKE The Galveston, Texas, sheriff’s office admitted that Louis Radzielski, 20, had escaped from lockup in December by merely walking out the front door.

According to Sheriff Gean Leonard, Radzielski crouched behind a woman who was being legitimately released and remained in step with her as she walked past the two officers working the booking counter. And in January in a Miami courtroom, while the lawyer for defendant Raymond Jessi Snyder vociferously protested a prosecutor’s demand that Snyder be locked up pending trial because he was a “flight risk,” Snyder slowly eased from his seat and bolted out the door. He didn’t get far.

A NATION OF WIMPS Donald Johnson sued a West Palm Beach, Fla., Shoney’s restaurant for $55,000 because he thought its clam

4 LEAF

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

chowder was potato soup, and the chowder left him with nightmares. In January, he won $407 in damages. That same month Tanisha Torres of Wyandanch, N.J., filed a lawsuit against Radio Shack because she was offended that a clerk had listed her hometown in the store’s records by a local joke name, “Crimedanch,” which she said makes her feel like a criminal.

And William Tremmel filed a lawsuit in September against a company repairing the boardwalk at Virginia Beach, Va., after he used its portable toilet without permission; some of the workers, fed up with strangers using their facility, blocked Tremmel inside for 25 minutes before letting him out, for which “mental suffering” he now wants $100,000.

GREAT ART! The Ukraine-born, Sweden-based artist Nathalia Edenmont defended her work against animal-rights protesters in December by claiming a higher virtue in killing animals if she does it to make an artistic point. According to the owner of the Stockholm gallery exhibiting Edenmont’s work, her latest artistic points include a photo of a hand with dead mice stuck on each finger represents the five stars of the former Soviet Union, which Edenmont believes was responsible for her mother’s murder, and a photo of several dead mice all pointing in the same direction represents the “cowardice” of Swedish society.

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RECURRING THEMES The latest African to die by gunshot while testing a magic charm “guaranteed” by herbalists to ward off bullets: witch doctor Ashi Terfa (Benue state, Nigeria, December). The latest driver who fatally hits a pedestrian, causing the body to lodge in the windshield and be driven around for a while before the driver decides to report the collision: a 29-year-old man, who at first told police that he was not sure what he hit (Seattle, November).

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 11, 2004

7

LOCALNEWS

BY JOSHUA COOPER

Remembering Bravo Fifty years ago this month, the United States Air Force blew apart a tiny atoll in the Marshall Islands. It was called Test Bravo, and it happened March 1, 1954. It involved a 15-megaton hydrogen bomb.

Some residents were removed. Others stayed—children even played in the milky dust that fell upon them.

Here we are, 50 years after Bravo, and the people forcibly removed from their homes for the bomb tests—with the exception of those on Utrik—have yet to return home. Fifty years later, the question of exposure as it affects other atolls of the Marshalls still hasn’t been fully addressed.

“We understand what September 11 will always mean to America. What we are here today to ask is that America understand us as well as we understand it,” said Rongelap Mayor James Matayoshi said on the fiftieth anniversary of the Bravo test.

“For our people, for the Marshall Islands, March 1, 1954 is the defining moment in world history. That is the Fourth of July, the Assasination of President Lincoln and Kennedy, Pearl Harbor and 9/11 all wrapped into one. That is the day the

world stood still and also changed forever.”

From terrifying military testing of nuclear weapons on Pacific islands populated with indigenous peoples in the 1950s to the occupation of sacred valleys in Hawaii in the 21st century reveals a pattern of prejudice and even genocidal practices. In the name of defense and security, too much money is being diverted from necessities of life and too many souls are being slaughtered.

Whether called the “Cold War” or the “War on Terror,” it has always meant one thing: raping natural resources in pursuit of progress and profit. Our War on Terror is in itself terror.

But the survival of civilization demands a new direction. It demands the liberation of the peoples of the world.

It is time to question the statements from politicians, generals and scientists on nuclear weapons. It is time to listen to the people who are directly exposed to the nuclear nightmare—people who have to live in fear in the name of national security. The multitude of reasons why nuclear bomb testing was necessary to happen does not drown out its horrors.

In the name of protecting our own people,

PHOTO: DEPARTMENT OF ENERGY

Will there ever be peace on Earth?

Bravo! we are promoting the death and destruction of others, many of whom aren’t guilty of anything more than living in the wrong place at the wrong time. In the name of security and freedom, people are displaced, severing their ties to their own history and even future.

And now we are preparing to build more “modern” nuclear weapons. Yet this spending of hundreds of billions of dollars to make the world a “safer place” is actually creating more hatred and harm. The U.S. has a legal and moral obligation to resolve the legacy of nuclear testing.

We seem to have a stark choice: Do we build a culture of compassion or a culture of

killing? Do we use our economic power to help the peoples of the world, or do we use our military power to build bigger and better bombs and crusade against “enemies” real and imagined across the globe like we have for the last century?

At the dawn of a new millennium, don’t people deserve peace? Isn’t it time to show solidarity with future generations and our precious planet?

“We have survived the greatest weapon of war man has ever devised,” said Matayoshi.

“We will survive whatever is before us and we shall not rest until our quest for justice is found.” MTW

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 11, 2004

9

Those Russian

Clowns

The Moscow State Circus Rolls Into Town first stop on their tour of the islands.

The Great Moscow State Circus boasts acrobats, jugglers, high-flying ballerinas and daredevils, “the world’s funniest clowns,” as well as Russian Evel Knievels who ride motorcycles across tight ropes. And in a generous nod to animal rights activists, The Great Moscow State Circus neither uses nor abuses any animals in its production.

This colorful showcase is a one of a kind circus experience. You’ll thrill at the feats of Nikoli and Anton, the “Extreme Balancing Contortionists” who won the Gold Medal at the

The children are grinning from ear to ear at the comical clowns.

Then their eyes go wide in shock at the insane motorcycle daredevils. But that’s nothing compared to what they see when they look up at the beautiful aerial ballerinas. Or their jaw-dropped awe at seeing body twisting contortionists, wiggling hula-hoop girls or the jugglers who juggle their partners with their feet.

Ahh, the circus. And it’s coming to town.

Specifically, it’s the Great Moscow State Circus, and it’ll be performing at the War Memorial Gymnasium and Stadium this weekend on March 12, 13 and 14. This is their first appearance in Hawaii, and Maui is the

famed Monte Carlo Circus Competitions.

Then you’ll fall in love with the gorgeous Svetlana as she contorts her body and balances on rings hanging from high above.

Really high above.

The Flying Akhtyamovs, whose act includes a combination of trapeze and aerial trampolines, also feature Goussein Khamdoulaey, who walks the highest indoor inclined wire in the world at a height of about 46 feet.

Of course, the World Famous Wallendas will also perform. The Wallendas, a high wire act dynasty, claim the Guinness Book of World Record’s achievement for their “Seven Person Pyramid.” Whether they execute this elaborate feat or not, it’s a fair bet that their act will daz-

–––– By Joe Gatto and Samantha Campos –––– 10

MARCH 11, 2004

COVER STORY

zle the crowds.

Dazzling the crowds has been a time-honored tradition of the Russian circus, especially in times of turmoil. In a piece on Russian circus history, Russian Life correspondent Masha Nordbye even found a fan in Karl Marx: “…on seeing a fearless acrobat in bright costume, we forget about ourselves, feeling that we have somehow risen above ourselves to reach the level of universal strength.”

For over 200 years, the circus has delighted people all over the world. Several different cultures celebrate the art form in widely disparate varieties, with American, European, Chinese and Russian circuses being the best known.

The modern circus started in London in 1768.

It wasn’t long before Catherine the Great adopted it with enthusiasm in Russia. Great family dynasties formed beneath the Big Top, passing their delightful but nonetheless weird skills down from generation to generation.

It was about this time that the comedic skills of clowns began to evolve. Originally created for mere comic relief, by the late 19th century the clowns were openly ridiculing the upper classes, providing even more opposition to the ruling tsarist leadership. In time, the circus, wrote Nordbye, became “a haven for protests, where uncensored sketches depicting the tumultuous state of tsarist Russia were tolerated,” thereby increasing its importance and popularity among the common people.

Ironically, canning the tsar in 1917 didn’t spell doom for the clowns. In 1919, the first performance of the Moscow State Circus took place a week after Vladimir Lenin—the architect and first head of the Soviet state—signed a decree nationalizing this now-really popular entertainment. With the support of the Soviets, performers developed their skills even further as the Russian Circus became a truly egalitarian form of entertainment that all classes enjoyed. People from St. Petersburg to Siberia could count on five or six circuses coming to town every year.

During its communist heyday Moscow really boosted the skills of the Soviet Union’s most unique performers. The world’s first professional circus school, Moscow’s School for Circus Arts, opened in 1927. Today, there are hundreds of circus schools throughout Russia, where students train for several years, creating their own acts in the final year of study.

The result is a menagerie of the best performers on the planet.

In fact, the circus ultimately became the Soviet Union’s greatest cultural export—better

even than Vodka. By the final days of the Communist regime, there were 70 permanent circus facilities throughout the Soviet Union and 50 traveling circuses. It is such a popular and widely respected form of entertainment there, in fact, that roughly 73 million people— over half of Russia’s population—go to at least one circus performance a year.

Today, though an important part of Russia’s patrimony, the circus has to survive on limited state support. Ironically, the Great Moscow State Circus isn’t actually based in Moscow anymore, but in Sarasota, Florida.

That way, it can easily travel the Americas and the world. Sarasota was also the winter home of the Ringling Brothers’ Circus in the early 1900s and the city still enjoys the presence of a circus heritage.

The Maui Sports and Entertainment Council (MSEC) worked hard for the past three months to get the circus here. A relatively new organization, the Council already counts 52 members that are dedicated to “using sports events, entertainment events and entertainment related meetings as an economic development tool by promoting Maui as a premier destination to hold first class events of a sports and entertainment related nature.”

According to Johnny Jackson, the MSEC’s director, the Maui Visitors Bureau cannot always help attract this kind of entertainment, so the various sports organizations joined together earlier this year. That way, hopefully, they won’t compete against each other, but should actually help one another achieve their mission.

“People entertaining people,” is the slogan of the Great Moscow State Circus. They are sure to provide a couple hours of excitement to all who attend.

The Moscow State Circus’ “Your Mind’s Eye” will be at War Memorial Gym in Wailuku Fri., March 12 at 4:30 and 7:30 p.m., and Sat. & Sun., March 13 & 14 at 1, 4 and 7 p.m. Tickets are $30 for V.I.P. seating, $20 general admission, and all children 12 and under get in free with a paid adult (general seating only). Call MSEC at 879-0007 or 280-4174 for tickets or more info. MTW

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If you or someone you know likes to eat food, this issue is for you.

THE

food issue 2004

Since the dawn of the time, Man has looked to food when he got hungry.

For a long time, Man only ate food that grew in the ground or on trees.

Then he learned how to hunt food that had fur and ran around and snarled and bled a lot when it died.

Then Man revolutionized food by inventing the “plate.” This made it possible for Man to dine in fancyschmancy restaurants, rather than the cold, cold ground. The world hasn’t been the same since. This is our celebration of tasty, delicious, mouthwatering food. It will make you laugh.

It will make you cry. It will make you hungry. Food: It’s what’s for dinner.

Advertising Deadline: March 18th Publishes: March 25th

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 11, 2004

11

ONO KINEGRINDS

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HAPPY HOUR DAILY 3-6

BY: TED FAWCETT AND ELAINE GAST

My girl knows crabs.

In fact, you could practically call her a crab snob. She grew up on the backwater boondocks of Baltimore, Maryland (people from those parts pronounce it Merland) where hot steamed crabs come as plenty as the rednecks who eat ‘em.

Like many of her sea-spider-sucking kin, she takes crab cakes way too seriously.

Lucky for me she takes our relationship as seriously.

Anyway, back to Elaine and her crabs.

If it isn’t broiled blue backfin from a bottom dweller of the Chesapeake Bay, she doesn’t even want to hear about it. So when our server Lee at Iao Café recommended the Crab Cake Special, Elaine rolled her eyes.

“Crab cakes, yeah,” she scoffed. “What are they, encrusted in some form of island nut paté? Served with a fruity salsa on the side?”

“Be nice, babe,” I murmured. “Maui is in the middle of the ocean, you know.

There are crabs here, too.”

Feeling pangs of hunger and homesickness, Elaine decided to put the lunchtime café to the test. “Okay, Lee. Lemme see what you’ve got,” she said.

“We’ll take one Crab Cake Special, one Blackened Mahi Salad, and a soup of the day, please.”

“Ah, very good,” smiled Lee. And boy, were they. Crispy on the outside, lightly drizzled with a thousand island aioli sauce and served over two scoops of rice, the crab cakes scored well against their east coast brethren ($7.95). Although crab-purist Elaine mildly mocked the fact that they are a mixture of half-crab, halfmahi (“It’s dangerous business when you merge meats,” she warned), this didn’t stop her from shoveling fork-fulls from my plate into her mouth.

Then she gave me the crab lecture.

“Crabs are decapod crustaceans, Ted,” she said. “Which means they characteristically have five pairs of locomotor appendages each joined to a segment of the thorax.”

Who knows this kind of stuff? Sure, it’s impressive, I guess, and testimony to the seriousness with which they take their crabs in Maryland, but come on. A round of toothpick sword fighting soon made Elaine forget her crabbiness.

Next, we turned to the fish. The Blackened Mahi Salad is served as two sizeable slabs of spiced mahi over a side ceasar ($7.75). Iao Café also offers a Togarashi Seared Blackened Ahi, served with a wasabi aioli on the side ($8.50).

If you aren’t the seafood kind, other lunch specials include a Chicken Thigh

The freshest ingredients!

Piccata with Lemon Capers ($6.75) and a Top Sirloin Steak with Shitake Mushrooms ($7.95).

Outside of its daily specials, the cafe regularly offers an assortment of salads like the hot chicken or ahi, Asian, taro or curry chicken salad. If you’re in the mood for a sandwich, there’s the roasted chicken, sliced turkey breast, fresh maui vegetables and, yes, the crab club (this time it’s snow crab). Most of the sandwiches are served on spongy foccacia bread with sprouts, Kula greens and ripe avocado.

The surprise sleeper item on our table was the soup. “Ohmygod the soup is good!” said my sidekick after her first sip. They call it a Mixed Vegetable with Tomato Colli ($3.50/bowl) and it’s a hot buttery broth of fresh carrots, onions, red beans, potatoes and herbs, served with thick toasted croutons on top.

Iao Café’s menu claims they serve “the freshest ingredients” and I don’t doubt it. If you’ve driven through Wailuku, at some point you’ve probably passed the place. Next time you’re kicking it on that part of the island, stop by for something homemade and tasty. And for those discerning decapod lovers, the only thing these crabs will have you scratching is your head, as you figure out how something so good could be so cheap.

Iao Café is located on Main Street Wailuku and is only open for lunch, from 10 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. Take out orders available at 2446816. MTW

DININGLISTINGS CENTRAL MAUI Kahului Ale House - Wide selection of food with sports and games all around. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave. 877–9001 Aloha Grill - Wide assortment of burgers including veggie styles, plus all the extras. Dairy Road Marketplace. 893–0263 Ba-Le - French Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Plus, a large variety of tapioca. 270 Dairy Rd. 877-2400 Bangkok Cuisine - Casual setting featuring exceptional Thai food with plenty of crisp vegetables and fresh seafood. Lunch, dinner, or takeout. 395 Dairy Road, Unit F. 893-0026 Biwon Restaurant - Fresh and flavorful, authentic Korean food. Open 10 a.m. to 10 p.m., lunch and dinner. 752 Lower Main 244-7788 Cupie’s Drive-In - Local lunch take-out. Open Monday through Saturday. 134 W Kamehameha Ave. 877-3055 Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food. Plate lunches, steak plates and amazing chicken katsu. Very casual; sit and eat or get your food to go. Also have a location in Kihei. 425 Koloa St. 871-7782 Dragon Dragon Chinese Restaurant Excellent service and fair prices with dishes like Kung Pao Chicken, Crispy Gau Gee Mein, Sweet and Sour Pork, and Honey Walnut Prawns. Maui Mall 893-1628 Dunes Restaurant - Adventuresome revisions of local and American breakfast, lunch and dinner favorites. Maui Lani Golf Course. 877–7461 Fiesta Time - Quality Mexican taqueria. Order ala carte or combo specials with the freshest ingredients. 1132C Lower Main. 249-8463 Ichiban Restaurant and Sushi Bar Breakfast, lunch and dinner featuring modestly priced Japanese and Local cuisine. Kahului

2 Baldwin Avenue Mon-Sat 7am-5pm Sunday 8:30am-2:30pm 579-8770

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Shopping Center. 871–6977 Manaña Garage - Latin American cuisine with unique and colorful decor. Try the Chicken Tortilla Epozote, vegetarian enchiladas and paella. Cool, quaint bar with margaritas aplenty. 33 Lono St., Ste 150. 873–0220 Maui Coffee Roasters - Ono grinds and freshly roasted coffee in a fun and casual atmosphere makes this the place to “take five.” 444 Hana Hwy. 877–CUPS Maui Beach Hotel - Buffet-style restaurant featuring different foods each night of the week. Features range from Shabu Shabu (tons of meat) to sushi and Japanese. Call for buffet schedule. 170 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului. 877-0051 Mike’s Restaurant - Authentic Chinese cooking and ono local grinds. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Also offer catering services. 1900 Main St., Wailuku.

244-7888 Piñata’s - Fresh and wholesome Mexican food from the Kitchen Sink burritos to quesadillas ala carte. Casual dining, various piñatas available too. 395 Dairy Rd. 877–8707 Pulehu BBQ - Local plate lunch with a Southern twist.

1500 Lower Main St., Wailuku. 244-4049 or 244-6159 Ruby’s - Walk down memory lane at this fabulous ‘50s cafe. Quintessential American dining morning to night.

Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 248-7829 Saeng’s Thai Cuisine - Vegetarian, meat and seafood Thai entrees in a casual garden setting. 2119 Vineyard 244-1567 Saigon Cafe - Wailuku’s hidden secret! Delicious and affordable Vietnamese cuisine with excellent service. 1792 Main 243-9560 Sheik’s Restaurant - Local favorites including Loco Moco and Shoyu Chicken. 97 Wakea Ave. 877-0121 Stillwell’s Bakery & Cafe - Specialty cakes and desserts, breads and pastries, with sandwiches, salads and soups for lunch. Open 6 a.m.-4 p.m. Mon-Sat. 1740 Kaahumanu Ave. 243-2243 Tasty Crust - Local style cuisine for breakfast (try their

famous hotcakes!), lunch and dinner. Serving Maui since 1944. 1770 Mill 244-0845 Tin Ying Chinese Restaurant - A Hong Kong style Chinese seafood restaurant. They have over 100 menu choices at reasonable prices. Buffet style lunch takeout, as well as sit down dining. 1088 Lower Main St. 242-4371 Tokyo Tei - Lunch and dinner featuring teriyaki beef and fish, tempura, datsu, saimin and more. 1063 E. Lower Main St. 242-9630 Wei Wei BBQ and Noodle House - Very affordable Chinese cuisine, counter-service, delicious noodle dishes. 210 Imikala St., Wailuku 242-7928 Wow-Wee Cafe - Unique candy bars, ice cream shakes, bagels, coffees, great sandwiches and soups.

Also featuring a Hawaiian menu with kava kava and an oxygen bar. 333 Dairy Rd. 871-1414 <www.mauiwowwee.com>

Bistro Molokini - Blend of California and island cuisine, lunch and dinner. Poolside. Grand Wailea. 8751234 Bocalino Bistro & Bar - Affordably priced Mediterranean cuisine. Open for dinner, pupus served until 1 a.m. Live entertainment and dancing 10 p.m. ‘til 1 a.m. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-9299 Blue Marlin Harbor Front Grill & Bar - Get amazing seafood, steaks and sandwiches; everything from pizza to sushi. Eat outdoors overlooking the Ma’alaea Fishing Fleet or hang out in the classy atmosphere of

SOUTH MAUI Antonio’s - Homemade Italian cuisine in a cozy atmosphere, extensive wine list and friendly service.

1215 S. Kihei Rd. 875-8800 Aroma D’Italia Ristorante - Southern Italian cuisine and full wine list at reasonable prices. Open MonSat, 5-9 p.m. 1881 S. Kihei Rd. 879-0133 Ashley’s South Shore Cafe - Affordable breakfast, lunch and dinner, burgers, local plates, fresh island fish, comfort foods, deli sandwiches, wraps. Dinners from $12.95, breakfast from $3.95. Open 7 a.m.-8 p.m. MonSat; 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Sun. 362 Hukulii Pl. (off Ohukai, south of Tesoro gas station), Kihei. 874-8600 BadaBing! - Homey Italian haven, award-winning thin crust pizzas, veal, calamari or chicken picatta. 1945 S. Kihei Rd. 875–0811 Big Wave Cafe - Small cafe serving Pacific Rim cuisine, including lobster and sweet corn fritter with furikake tartar sauce, and coconut shrimp with fruit salsa and ginger lilikoi sauce. Open 7:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. daily. 1215 S. Kihei Rd. 891-8688

EVERY THURSDAY - 10PM - CLOSE

$1 DRINKS $1 CALLS IF YOU’RE WEARING A MINISKIRT! DANCING W/ACE RADIO REHAB SUSHI EATING CONTEST - NO COVER

EVERY FRIDAY - 10PM - CLOSE “SALSA NIGHT” W DJ MIGUEL MEXICAN $3 MARGARITAS, $2 CORONAS $1 TEQUILA SHOTS SALSA, MERENGE, MARIACHI, BANDA, HIP HOP AUTHENTIC MEXICAN FOOD

BY CHEF ARTURO GONZALEZ

EVERY SUNDAY - 9PM - CLOSE

Ashley’s

50% OFF SUSHI $2 AND $3 DRINK SPECIALS OPEN MIC NIGHT W/JIM (DEVILTOWN) BRING YOUR TALENT AND SHOW IT OFF! ROCK! REGGAE! CLASSIC! RAP! COMEDY! MAGIC! POETRY! STUPID HUMAN TRICKS! DANCING - NO COVER

SOUTH SHORE CAFE Tired of the same old food places?

Voted #1 Steak Outstanding Seafood Wine Spectator Award of Excellence

Give us a try!

AND DON’T FORGET WE DO LUNCH

MON-FRI - 11AM - 4PM W SUSHI STARTING AT 11AM A/C COMFORT, LIQUOR PARKING UP FRONT AFFORDABLE FOOD W/ CHEAP DRINKS FISH & CHIPS + DRINK FOR THE PRICE OF ONE COME TODAY AND GIVE IT A TRY!

843 WAINEE STREET • LAHAINA

(808) 667-7477

362 Hukulii Pl. • 874-8600

662-8780

Specials not to be combined with any other promotions or offers.

Specials subject to change at any time.

Located at the Entrance to Kaanapali

“Best Plate Lunch” Maui News Readers Poll

“Best Pupu Coconut Prawns” Taste of Lahaina

“Paper plate meets million dollar view”New York Times

Join us on our deck for beachside plate lunches, burgers, noodles and “ono” daily specials.

Present this coupon and receive

A free regular soft drink with plate lunch or equivalent purchase.

Casual, affordable and fun!

1285 Front St.- Makai of La¯ haina Cannery Mall

Not to be used with any other coupons or discounts. Coupon has no cash value.

Coupon expires 1-1-05

661-3322 LETTERS

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MARCH 11, 2004

13

DININGLISTINGS the bar. Open for lunch and dinner. Lower level of Ma’alaea Harbor Village. 244-8844 Caffe Ciao - Italian Cuisine baked in a Kiawe wood oven. Open for Lunch and dinner. Dine outdoors poolside. The Fairmont Kea Lani. 875-4100 Capische? - Contemporary Italian with a twist; extensive wine list. Commanding ocean views from every table. Wailea Diamond Resort.

879–2224 Cyberbean Internet Cafe - Gourmet coffee, espressos, cappucinos, lattes, sandwiches, smoothies and salads. 1881 S. Kihei, 879-4799 Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food. Plate lunches, steak plates and amazing chicken catsu. Very casual; sit and eat or get your food to go. Also have a location in Kahului. 2439 S. Kihei Rd., 875-7782 Dick’s Place - Incredible all-you-can-eat food specials, free pool playing with purchase. Eight pool tables. 2463 S. Kihei Rd. 874–8869 Fernando’s - Authentic Mexican food. Open 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. daily. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei. 8799952 Ferraro’s - Gourmet Italian cuisine oceanfront with live violin and guitar, outdoor kiawe-woodburning oven, all-day lunches and cucina rustica dinners. Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000.

Five Palms Beach Grill - Local produce and fish featured in Pacific Rim cuisine. 2960 S. Kihei

Rd. 879–2607 Harry’s Sushi Bar - Japanese cuisine with fresh & delicious sushi, open 5pm to midnight daily. 100 Ike Drive, Wailea 879-7677 Horhitos Mexican Cantina - Burritos, salads, appetizers and “Food for Gringos,” too! Located next to Hapa’s Nightclub. Open 5pm to 2am Mon.-Sat. Lipoa St. 891-MEXI Humuhumunukunukuapua’a - Hawaiian and Polynesian cuisine oceanside. Grand Wailea Resort, 875-1234 ext. 4900 Jawz Tacos - Island-style tacos and burritos, including choice of vegetarian, mahi mahi, ono, shrimp, chicken or steak. Impressive salsa bar and the taco salads are da bomb! Also serves beer, margaritas, sangria, mojitos and mai tais. 1280 So. Kihei Rd. 874-TACO Joy’s Place - “Smart eating” featuring organic foods which are low fat, low salt and wheat free. Open Monday through Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. 1993 So. Kihei Rd. 879-9258 Kai Ku Ono - A tapas-style menu, where everything is ala carte, special late night menu and sushi. Serving breakfast, lunch and dinner with bar and lounge area.

2511 S. Kihei Rd. 875–1007 Kihei Caffe - Affordable breakfast & lunch with lanai seating, hearty portions, tasty sandwiches, huli chicken and fresh fish. 1945 S. Kihei Rd. 879-2230 Life’s a Beach - Food and drinks in a fun atmosphere.

Best Mex, nachos, burritos, prime rib and grilled

Burritos! Nachos! Salsa Bar!

Island Fish Tacos Grilled Steak, Chicken Vegetarian 95 Nothing Over $6.

MAUI Lahaina Square, Lahaina • 661-8883 Kamaole Beach Center, Kihei • 879-5005 Napili Plaza, Napili • 665-0222 Kaahumanu Center, Kahului • 871-7726 BIG ISLAND Prince Kuhio Plaze, Hilo • 959-0359 OAHU Mililani Shopping Center, Mililani • 623-9405 Kailua Village Shops, Kailua • 261-4155 www.mauitacoscookbook.com Email: eatmaui@maui.net www.mauitacos.com

mahimahi are just some of the specialties. 1913 S. Kihei Rd. 891–8010 Lobster Cove - Seafood, steak, lobster at its best in a relaxed and casual atmosphere. Open 5pm to midnight daily. 100 Ike Dr. 879–7677 Longhi’s Wailea - Seafood, meat and pasta entrees with many not listed on the menu. Ask the server for details. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr. 891–8883 LuLu’s - Ribs, burgers, chicken wings and Black ‘n Blue Ahi and more in a fun, upbeat tiki-fied atmosphere with a great bar and huge deck. 1945 S. Kihei Rd. 879-9944 Ma`alaea Grill - Reasonably priced fine dining overlooking the harbor from the Maui Ocean Center.

Ma`alaea Harbor Village Shops. 243–2206 Ma’alaea Waterfront Restaurant - Seafood and Continental cuisine. Open for dinner daily from 5pm.

Milowai Condominium, 50 Hauoli Street. 244-9028 Marco’s South Side Grill - A lavish and beautiful setting, compliments the hearty Italian food and excellent wines. 1445 S. Kihei Rd. 874–4041 Mulligan’s On the Blue - Maui’s authentic Irish pub, plenty o’Irish food, whiskey and beer. Breakfast is served till 3PM. 100 Kaukahi St. Wailea 874–1131 Nick’s Fishmarket - Fine dining in open air and elegance with amazing seafood dishes and fresh fish preparations. Kea Lani Hotel. 879–7224 Pita Paradise - Good food, fast. Serving up a mean Mediterranean-style “gyro”, salads or wraps, with outdoor lanai. Kihei Kalama Village Center. 875–7679 Roy’s Kihei Bar & Grill - Mouth-watering Hawaiian fusion entrees in a spacious and upbeat atmosphere.

Open nightly from 5:30 to 10pm. Fine dining, reservations recommended. Piilani Shopping Center, 303 Piikea Ave. 891-1120 Sansei Restaurant - Japanese based Pacific Rim dining, sushi bar and late night menu. Award winning cuisine, early bird and late night specials. 1881 S. Kihei Rd. 879–0004 Sarento’s on the Beach - Contemporary dining near the water’s edge. Italian cuisine, very romantic. Private VIP table available. 2980 S. Kihei Road. 875–7555 Sausage Shack - Sausage sandwiches, even chicken or turkey, killer burgers and healthy vegetarian stuff. Sip a beer or margarita outside on the lanai. 1913 S. Kihei Rd. 874–6444 Spago - Gourmet cuisine as presented by worldfamous chef-owner Wolfgang Puck, oceanfront dining

MARCH 11, 2004

DINING

UPCOUNTRY Café 808 - Local diner style serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Open daily from 6 a.m. to 8 p.m. 4566 Lower Kula Rd. 878-6874 Café Des Amis - Charming cafe with delicious sweet and savory crepes and Mediterranean fare. 42 Baldwin Ave. 579-6323 Café Mambo - International bistro featuring Mediterranean and Mexican cuisine with Moorish influences. 30 Baldwin Ave. 579-8021 Cakewalk Paia Bakery - High quality baked goods, sandwiches and specialty cakes. 2 Baldwin Ave., Paia.

579-8770 Casanova - First class service, first class food. Fine Italian dining at night and Makawao’s favorite deli by day. 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao. 572–0220 Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon - Hankering for some grub? Charley’s serves it hearty and healthy from breakfast to dinner and beyond. 142 Hana Hwy., Pa`ia.

579–9453.

Colleen’s - 1940’s style city bistro atmosphere serving breakfast, lunch and dinner from 6 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. daily. Haiku Cannery. 575-9211 Cow Country Cafe - Homestyle breakfast and lunch in a decidedly bovine atmosphere. 7 Aewa Pl., Pukalani.

572-2395 Fresh Mint - Vietnamese vegetarian cuisine including Summer Rolls, Spicy Lemongrass Soup and Soy Fish in Clay Pot. Open daily 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. Catering and take-out available. 115 Baldwin Ave., Paia. 579-9144 Hali`imaile General Store - Gourmet dining in a charming atmosphere. Chef Beverly Gannon’s awardwinning menu. 900 Hali`imaile Rd, Hali`imaile.

572–2666 Hana Hou Cafe - Hawaiian homestyle cooking with aloha-filled ambience and local musicians. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery. 575-2661

Dr.Nat

Available for private events, parties & weddings

$

Fridays

2.

50

Mai Tais $

Solo/duets and with Pacificaribe (3-5 piece) playing Latin, Gypsy and Brazilian Jazz, Reggae, Contemporary Island Style or with Hot Tropical Latin/Brazilian dance band Rio Ritmo (6-9 piece) playing Salsa, Samba, Pop Latin Call 572-9536 for booking or visit website www.drnat.com

Wednesdays

1 6.

95

Prime Rib Nite AILY OUR D H Y P HAP !!

2-5PM CIALS! E P S Y L NIGHT

2511 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei • 879-1954 14

at its finest! Four Seasons Resort Wailea. 874-8000 Spices - Steak, seafood & more! Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd. 891-8860 Stella Blues Cafe - Healthy, quality food in a casual, homestyle setting. Breakfast, lunch and dinner with daily specials. 1279 S. Kihei Rd. 874-3779 Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Cafe - Relaxed island luxury in ambience and cuisine, with ocean views and live music. The Shops at Wailea. 875-9983

THU 3/11 • SPORTS PAGE • 9PM-12MID • KIHEI FRI 3/12 • LIFE’S A BEACH • 9PM-1AM • KIHEI SAT 3/13 • STOPWATCH • 9:30PM-1:30AM • MAKAWAO MON 3/15 • MOOSES • 6PM-9PM • LAHAINA WED 3/17 • LIFE’S A BEACH • 8PM-12MID • KIHEI THU 3/18 • SPORTS PAGE • 9PM-12MID • KIHEI FRI 3/19 • ALE HOUSE • 9:30PM-1:30AM • KIHEI PLAYING THE MUSIC OF...

PEARL JAM • THIRD EYE BLIND • PINK FLOYD ALICE IN CHAINS AND MORE...

DININGLISTINGS Island Tacos - Taco stand with fresh, made-toorder fish, beef and chicken tacos. Daily, from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery Jacque’s Northshore Bistro - Tropical yet festive atmosphere, with a sushi bar, indoor and lanai dining. 120 Hana Hwy, Pa`ia. 579–8844 Kimura Saimin Shop - Casual atmosphere, simple, affordable menu with fresh ingredients done right! 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery. 5755228 Kitada’s - Saimin for breakfast is a standard. Teri beef, hamburger steak, tofu and hekka all available. 3617 Baldwin Ave., Makawao. 572–7241 Kula Lodge & Restaurant - Upcountry’s family-style restaurant with sweeping views of the island. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Haleakala Highway. 878-1535 La Provence - French style bistro and patisserie with lanai, serving breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Open Wednesday through Sunday, 8:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. 3158 Lower Kula Rd. 878-1313.

Livewire Cafe - Gourmet desserts, coffee drinks, smoothies. Open 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. Sun. thru Thu. - 6 a.m. to midnight Fri. and Sat. 137 Hana Highway, Paia. 579-6009 Lynne’s Cafe - Affordable homestyle local food including breakfast, plate lunch, chow fun and more! Catering available. 810 Kokomo Rd. 5759363 Makawao Steak House - Classic and comfortable menu with daily fish preparations and salad bar. 3612 Baldwin Ave., Makawao. 5728711 Mama’s Fish House - Fresh island fish with fresh local ingredients at “Maui’s favorite restaurant.” 799 Poho Pl., Kuau. 579–8448 Maui’s Best Tamales & Local Food Authentic, fresh and tasty mexican cuisine along with local favorites. 81 Makawao Ave/Pukalani Square 573-2998 Milagros Food Co. - South American cusine with an island influence. Best people watching spot in Pa`ia! Extensive tequila menu and delicious daily specials. 3 Baldwin St. 579–8755 Moana Bakery & Cafe - Pacific rim dining for vegetarians and meat eaters. Bakery provides wonderful goodies for the sweet tooth. 71 Baldwin Ave., Pa`ia. 579–9999 Pa`ia Fish Market - By serving fresh local Hawaiian fish daily, they are the hot spot for seafood lovers without the upscale pocket. 100 Hana Hwy., Pa`ia. 579–8030 Polli’s Mexican Restaurant - Paniolo country’s premier Mexican cantina, with nachos, burritos, ensaladas and more! 1202 Makawao Ave. 572-7808 SandBar & Grill - Casual contemporary island cuisine, featuring pupus, salads, kiawe grill burgers, sandwiches and lobster tacos. Full bar, happy hour everyday 4-6 p.m. Open daily from 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. 89 Hana Hwy., Paia 579-8742 Veg Out - Vegan and vegetarian food, from Mexican, Italian and Far East influences. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku. 575-5320

WEST MAUI Athens Greek Restaurant - Affordable and authentic gyros, shish kebabs, falafels and more! Ya’Sou! Lahaina Cannery Mall 661-4300 A&J Kitchen, Deli & Bakery - Choose from American, Hawaiian, Korean and Chinese cuisines.

Bakery with cakes and cookies. Lahaina Center.

667–0623 The Bakery - Fresh baked breads and pastries. Soup and sandwiches available. 991 Limahana Pl., Lahaina 667-9062 Ba-Le - French Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Wide variety of tapioca.

Lahaina Cannery Mall 661-5566 Bamboo Bar & Grill - Vietnamese, Thai and Japanese sushi. Delivery available, great daily specials. Open late with full bar, pool tables. 505 Front St. Lahaina 667-4051 Banyan Tree - “Eclectic Pacific Cuisine with a Hawaiian Twist.” Lodge atmosphere, ocean views. Ritz Carlton Kapalua. 669–6200 BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Deep-dish specialty pizzas and homemade Pizookies with live music nightly.

Overlooking Front Street, with ocean view. 730 Front St. 661-0700.

Blue Lagoon - Casual dining with local grinds and bar, surrounded by waterfalls and palm trees. Wharf Cinema Center. 661–8141 Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. - Fine Southern foods, with “Forrest Gump” movie memorabilia and logo wear in a lively, casual atmosphere. 889 Front St. 661–3111 Cafe O’Lei - Oceanfront dining featuring light and healthy yet hearty gourmet lunch and dinner. Delicious salads and Focaccia sandwiches. 839 Front St. 661–9491 Cafe Sauvage - Gourmet, hearty, satisfying fare in an unpretentious setting. Extensive beer and wine menu, after-dinner cordials, and desserts! 844 Front St. 661–7600 Canoes - Casual yet elegant dining serving a combination of island-inspired contemporary and traditional cuisine.1450 Front St. 661–0937 Chez Paul Resturant - Fine dinning French cusine, open for dinner only. Romantic setting. Call for reservations 820 Olowau Rd. 661-3843 China Boat - The best Mandarin Szechwan Cuisine on Maui, lunch and dinner. 4474 L. Honoapiilani Road, Kahana Gateway Shopping Center. 669-5089 CJ’s Deli & Diner - Reasonably priced “comfort foods” such as Reuben sandwiches, pot roast, freshly baked pies, and more! Open daily from 5:30 a.m.-6 p.m. 2580 Kekaa Drive Fairway Shops, Kaanapali 6670968 Compadres Bar & Grill - Western cooking with a Mexican accent. Oceanview dining & Margarita bar serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-7189 Cool Cat Cafe - ‘50s-style diner with lanai. Delicious burgers and sandwiches, huge salads and classic fountain desserts. Lahaina Wharf Center, 667-0908 David Paul’s Lahaina Grill - Fine dining in the intimate dining room on the ground floor of the Lahaina Inn building. 127 Lahainaluna. 667–5117 Dollie’s Pub & Cafe - Pizza, pupus, sandwiches, salads and full bar. Open daily 11 a.m. to midnight.

4310 L. Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana Manor Shops, 6690266 Erik’s Seafood & Sushi - Fresh seafood and sushi - great steamers! Open nightly. 843 Wainee St., Lahaina 662-8780 Gaby’s Pizzeria - Casual Italian dining with pizza and pasta from $6-$25. Open 11 a.m. to 12 a.m. daily. 505 Front Street, 661-8112.

Gazebo Restaurant - Full breakfast and lunch menu, casual atmosphere, beautiful oceanside setting. 5315 Lower Honoapiilani Rd, 669-5621.

Gerard’s - Fine French dining in downtown Lahaina.

Rich, flavorful yet light foods await your taste buds.

174 Lahainaluna. 661–8939 Giovani’s Tomato Pie Ristorante - Fine Italiain dining located in Kaanapali Lahaina. Open for dinner 2291 Kaanapali Prkwy 661-3160 Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie - Maui’s own restaurant brewery, with rotisserie grill, featuring steak, seafood and ambience. Also, late-night menu served until 1:30 a.m.! 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy. 6693474 Hard Rock Cafe - Good American food at decent prices amongst rock ‘n roll memorabilia. Live music and DJ dancing weekly. Love All—Serve All. 900 Front St. 667–7400 Hecocks - Italian restaurant and cocktail lounge oceanside. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. 505 Front St., Lahaina 661-8810 House of Saimin - Ono homemade Saimin, chicken sticks, and Haupia pie are just some of the local favorites here.Old Lahaina Center. 667–7572 Hula Grill - Barefoot Bar and beachside dining in a 1940s style. Menu is a seafood lover’s delight.

Whaler’s Village. 667–6636 i`o - Pacific Rim cuisine among awesome sunset views, and indoor or outdoor dining. 505 Front St. 661–8422 Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Coffee bar and cafe with great food, eclectic atmosphere, loungey ambience.

Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd. 667-0787 Jonny’s Burger Joint - Great burgers, as well as Mexican food, salads and fried items, served until midnight, with bar and pool table! 2395 Honoapiilani Hwy, Kaanapali. 661-4500 Kahuna Kabob - Healthy food, low prices! Soups, brown rice, veggies and kabobs, will deliver. Lahaina Marketplace. 661–9999 Kimo’s - Fresh fish, prime rib, and their famous Hula Pie, oceanside dining. Live entertainment entertainment. 845 Front St. 661–4811 Kobe - Japanese Steak House and Oku’s Sushi Bar, featuring teppanyaki cooking and fabulous sushi. Dinner nightly from 5:30-10 p.m., Sushi 5:30-11:30 p.m. 136 DickensonSt., Lahaina 667-5555 Lahaina Coolers - Off the beaten path “surf bistro”. Good food, good quality, late night menu. 80 Dickenson St., Lahaina 661–7082 Lahaina Fish Co. - Chef’s Signature Pacific Rim Specialties prepared with fresh island fish, and seafood, dine on the oceanside lanai. 831 Front St. 661–3472 Leilani’s On The Beach - Relaxed beachfront dining, specializing in fresh seafood and Pacific Rim cui-

sine. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway. 661-4495 Lemongrass - Serving ala carte to the seven course traditional Vietnamese dinner. Reasonably priced and full of flavor. 930 Waine`e St., Lahaina 667–6888 Longhi’s - Elegant fine dining, freshest ingredients, pasta, seafood and steaks. Dancing upstairs on Friday nights. 888 Front St. 667–2288 Mama’s Ribs & Rotisserie - Serving ribs and roasted chicken, BBQ baked beans, cole slaw, and macaroni salad. Napili Plaza. 665–6262 Moose McGillicuddy’s - Great value, large

St. Patt y’s Day March 17th SPECIALS ALL DAY 12:00pm - 11:00pm Corned Beef Sandwich Corned Beef Plate/Trimmings

JOIN US FOR LOTS OF

FUN & LAUGHS SPECIAL PRICE ON SHOTS SURPRISE DJ 9:00pm-12:00am 505 Front Street, 661–8112

NEW GAME ROOM! Open all day

Homestyle New American Comfort Food Vegetarian Selections

Fresh Local Fish Full Bar-Late Night Pupus (10’til-close)

Locally Raised Grass Fed Beef

Homemade desserts

• Pool tables • Big TV’s • Video games • Pinball • Foozball Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner Open Daily: 7:30am - 1am Dinner served 5pm - 10pm

WHERE PEOPLE & FOOD OF GOOD TASTE COME TOGETHER! IN OUR NEW LOCATION - AZEKA II - 874-3779 LETTERS

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MARCH 11, 2004

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Celebrate

St. Patrick’s Day With Us at

MAUI

COFFEE ROASTERS T RY OUR FOOD, NOT JUST OUR FRESH BEANS! S E RVING BREAKFAST & LUNCH OPEN FROM 7 A M - 6 P M M -F, 8 A M - 5 P M S AT., 8 A M - 2 : 3 0 P M SUN.

$

3 0 0 OFF

A N Y POUND OF REGULAR PRICED COFFEE with this coupon. expires 4/30/04

Wednesday, March 17th

Show Us Your Best St. Patty’s Bike Wear!

$2 Draft Beer A Whole Lot of Fun! Party Starts at 4:00pm FREE Shuttle bus to Mulligan’s every hour on the hour!

4 4 4 H a n a H w y. K a h u l u i Corn e r o f Dairy R d . & H a n a H w y.

87 7–CUPS

WWW. H AWAIIANCOFFEE.COM

16

MARCH 11, 2004

DINING

1280 S. Kihei Rd. Azeka Plaza Makai Side

874-8377

DININGLISTINGS portions, all you can eat specials and merry atmosphere, large bar. 844 Front St. 667–7758 Nachos Grande - Fresh mexican food, fast.

Vegetarian, too! Honokowai Marketplace.

662–0890 Nalu Sunset Bar & Sushi - Sushi rolls, sashimi, various Japanese appetizers, sandwiches and more. Maui Marriott, Kaanapali 667–1200 ext. 51 Okazuya Deli - Quality Japanese plate lunch.

The best lemon caper Mahi Mahi and Okinawan potato tempura ever! Open 10 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. and 4:30 to 9 p.m. 3600 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Honokowai 665-0512 Ono’s Surf Bar & Grill - Family selections of healthy cuisine. Poolside. The Westin Maui, Ka’anapali 667-2525 Outback Steak House - Quality steaks, shrimp-on-the-barbie, and the Bloomin’ Onion in a casual and lively atmosphere. 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy, Kahana 665-1822 Pacific’O - Elegant oceanfront award-winning contemporary Pacific cuisine. Live jazz on weekends. 505 Front St. 667-4341.

Pancho & Lefty’s - Delicious and spicy appetizers, traditional and specialty Mexican food.

Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina 661–4666 Penne Pasta - Mark Ellman’s inexpensive Italian bistro with homestyle pasta, pizza and salad. 180 Dickenson St., Suite 113 .

661–6633 Pioneer Inn - Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily, with live entertainment nightly. 659 Wharf St., Lahaina 661-36362 Pizza Paradiso - Voted “Best Pizza on Maui” since 1998. Award winning pasta dishes, tossto-order salads, big fat Greek gyros, homemade tiramisu and panna cotta. Dine in or take-out, lunch and dinner. Honokowai Marketplace, 6672929; Whalers Village, 667-0333 Plantation House Restaurant - Hawaiian Mediterranean cuisine. Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily. 2000 Plantation Club Dr., Kapalua. 669-6299 Reilley’s - Known for their choice award winning beef. Gourmet steaks and seafood overlooking the Ka`anapali Golf Course’s 18th hole.

2290 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 667–7477 Roy’s Nicolina Restaurant - A quiet ambi-

ence suffuses this dining experience, enhanced by the Pacific Rim cuisine. 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, upstairs. 669–5000 Rusty Harpoon Restaurant and Tavern Quench thirst, satiate hunger and watch sports.

Large parties welcome. Whalers Village. 661–3123 Ruth’s Chris Steak House - USDA Prime Steak, fine wines. Dinner served nightly. 900 Front St., Lahaina 661-8815 Sansei Seafood Restaurant and Sushi Bar D.K. Kodama has combined the highest quality sushi bar infused with Hawai`i’s cultural flavors. 115 Bay Drive #115., Kapalua. 669–6286 Sea House Restaurant - Looking out over incredible Napili Bay, dining is an amazing experience here under the direction of Chef Michael Gallagher. 5900 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Hwy. 669–1500 Spats Trattoria - Step into old Northern Italy. Tables are private, the Antipasti serves two. The Hyatt Regency. 667–4727 Sports Club Kahana Grill - Upscale, healthy restaurant inside Sports Club Kahana. Breakfast, lunch & take-out. 4327 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Rd. 669-3539 Sunrise Cafe - Casual and cozy outdoor lanai, serving American food from 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. daily. 693 Front St., Lahaina 661-8558 Swan Court - One of the top ten romantic restaurants in the world, extensive list of contemporary fine wines. Hyatt Regency Maui. 667–4727 Thai Chef - Thai food like you’ve never had it, Curry, Pad Thai, summer rolls and more. Old Lahaina Center. 667–2814 The Terrace Restaurant - Open from 6:30-11 a.m. serving breakfast only. Elegant dining, buffetstyle rotating menu ranging from “Beakfast on the Farm” to “Hawaiian Plantation-Style Breakfast.”

Special Mimosa and Bloody Mary menus. Ritz Carlton, Kapalua. 669-6200.

Tropica - Enjoy the fire and ice-themed restaurant where the cold food and drink bar is tucked between two “volcanoes.” The Westin Maui. 667–2525 Vino - Comfort and contemporary cuisine featuring fresh pasta and extensive wine list. Open for dinner nightly from 5:30 p.m. Village Course Clubhouse, Kapalua 661-8466.

Whale’s Tale - All open-air lanai dining. Casual dining, specials, large portions. 672 Front St. 667–4044

St. Paddy’s Day • Wed March 17th 5 Venues • No Cover • Kihei Kalama Village

Kiss Me I’m Irish Booth with all your favorite hot spot kissers. All proceeds to go to “Hui Malama”. We also have Irish Karaoke, Steinlager Light Green Beer, a Leprechaun approved menu, “Irish Maggies” and “Irish Car Bomb” Specials. NO COVER. 879-9944

Free Corned Beef & Cabbage! $2 Mai Tais 10-6pm. $1.50 Bud & Coors Light Draft All Night Long! NO COVER. 875-7711

Cornbeef and Cabbage

It’s the “Grand Opening.”

for $9.95, Green Beer for $3.00 and “The Irish Crunch Pups”. NO COVER. 879-8010

Enjoy Drink Specials and “DJ JR”.

NO COVER. 875-2555

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MARCH 11, 2004

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A&E 18 • Film 19-20 • This Week’s Picks 21 • The Grid 22, 24, 26 • Da Kine Calendar 23, 25

ARTS&ENTERTAINMENT

BY DARREN SARNO

The Extended Family How to spend your Wailea Nights Mulligan’s on the Blue, which is located among the bright green golf courses of Wailea, is Maui’s only true Irish pub and restaurant. It’s also the new home of Wailea Nights, an intimate dinner show featuring two of Hawaii’s most renowned musicians.

The first is multi-talented Eric Gilliom, who originated and starred in the 2003 Rocky Horror Picture Show production.

His partner is musical genius Barry Flanagan of the Hoku award-winning troupe Hapa.

They met about 15 years ago, having already mutually admired each other’s work for some time.

“We just wanted to play together,” said Gilliom. “It was just a matter of where and when. After throwing together about 12 or 15 songs a piece, we hunted for a location and came up with Mulligan’s.”

Overlooking the Kea Lani hotel in the Wailea hills, Mulligan’s had exactly the backdrop the pair was looking for.

“This is really a host-culture thing,” said Mike O’Dwyer, who owns Mulligan’s. “Even though we are an Irish pub, we know something about culture. This is bringing something Hawaiian into the community, into Wailea, that maybe is not so present, other than luau shows at the hotels. It’s classic Hawaiian music being played at Mulligan’s every Tuesday and Friday night, which is something you can’t find anywhere.”

But before Flanagan and Gilliom take the stage, everybody gets to eat.

Remember, this is dinner and a show.

“We try to set up the menu with some of those classic Irish traditional dishes with Hawaiian flair,” said chef Paul Lynch.

With 25 years experience in the kitchen, Lynch has been the private dining chef for New York City’s Russian Tea Room, as well as working front of the house at the infamous Tavern on the Green.

“It’s about using the freshest ingredients,” Lynch said. “For the appetizers

Gilliom and Flanagan we’ll try and do some kind of vegetarian, seafood and meat starter and do the same for the entrees so you can mix and match throughout dinner.”

“We try to pull things we’ve done in the past and throw in some new stuff,” said cochef Chris Joiner. “[Wailea Nights] shows off a bit of what we can do and the potentials of the restaurant.”

Not long after diners start sipping their cappuccino or fresh brewed Irish coffee and nibbling on cheesecake, pineapple sorbet, Paul’s hot chocolate purses or Mulligan’s famous apple pie, the show begins.

That’s when the 3,000 or so square foot pub gets transformed into an intimate living room setting. Fronted with an elevated stage, small linen-clad tables and a dimly lit backdrop, the often lei-draped twosome take the stage to a full-bellied and anxious audience.

The set list touches past and present efforts from both artists.

“You’ll never hear two songs that are the same,” said Flanagan. “A ton of time goes into the set list. It is very orchestrated. There is more of a buffet here than your typical steak

and potatoes performance.”

This is where Gilliom puts his theater background to good use. “I like to make sure things flow,” he said. “Like a theater piece with its peaks and valleys, this really has the ingredients of being a show rather than a couple of guys jamming.”

Dusted with covers from U2, Van Morrison and The Cure, the duo’s performance peaks with a breathtaking hula dance by Wainani Hyman, a professional dancer who’s also one of their long-time friends.

The hour and 45 minute set is often pushed to two hours with an after-show meet and greet performance under the stars.

“This is what the music industry is all about,” said Flanagan. “The audience pays for and deserves your time. We try to meet every person. These people are committed to you. I feel they are my extended family.”

Mulligan’s on the Blue hosts Wailea Nights every Tuesday and Friday evening with dinner seating beginning at 5:30 p.m. It’s $35 for dinner and the show or just $10 for the dinnerless-8 p.m. performance. MTW

BY COLE SMITHEY

form

FILMCRITIQUE

DKL

DK Levin Company

Official information

For office use only

Phone number

Fax number

808 244 7770 808 244 7720 Important!

Hard Service

We’re weird.

We actually LOVE doing taxes.

David Mamet Chokes On Political Thriller This over-plotted and under-developed political thriller by writer/director David Mamet (Heist) painfully divulges the aging writer’s waning talents. Val Kilmer (Wonderland) plays Robert Scott, a secret ops military officer recruited to rescue the U.S. President’s daughter after she’s kidnapped into a white slavery ring. Red herrings and gratuitously violent episodes abound as Scott and his novice Secret Service partner Curtis (Derek Luke— Pieces of April) attempt to rescue the girl regardless of government fueled lies from the media about the predicament.

David Mamet’s trademark shorthand dialogue is at times laughably stilted and artificial, along with contrived plot points that border on the absurd. As a political thriller, Spartan falls far below the mark set by films like The Parallax View (1974) or Three Days Of The Condor (1975).

Spartan opens with an obligatory thriller genre training sequence wherein special ops conscript Curtis chases Agent Grace (Tia Texada—Phone Booth) through a wooded area while their leader Scott (Kilmer) oversees the exercise. The hackneyed false start gives way to hardedged suspense when the President’s daughter Laura Newton (Kristen Bell) is kidnapped from a college dorm in Boston because her CIA guard abandoned his post in favor of protecting the President during an adulterous visit to his mistress.

Agent Scott tracks down the girl’s abduction to a local nightclub where young women are procured for older clientele. Back alley punches are thrown and Scott and his partner are soon killing

Spartan

★★★★★ would-be suspects before they can admit their association to the girl’s capture.

Television news reports interrupt the investigation with information that Laura Newton’s corpse has been found with her college professor in ocean waters, and sets up the central governmental espionage ploy of the movie. The President sacrifices his daughter to suppress the truth of his adultery and insure himself a shot at the next election by using the media to disseminate lies about her death.

Spartan suffers from a similar fundamental problem to Mamet’s script for Wag The Dog. It’s not enough to present a questioning attack on the American media for conspiring with the U.S. government to spread lies to the public. We need to see action being taken to hold factions of the Government and the media accountable.

LETTERS

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SURF

Okay. Not many people can say this, but we at the DK Levin Company actually ENJOY doing tax returns.

The forms. The worksheets. All that complex math and figures.

It may not make sense, but it’s true.

We’d like NOTHING better than to sit down with you and go over your W-2’s and 1099’s and other tax information.

Then you can go home and we’ll get down to the fun stuff. email: Web:

In no time at all, you’ll have beautifully prepared returns, with every possible deduction and credit. The IRS will be happy, you'll be happy, and you may even discover something for yourself.

That you actually ENJOYED it too.

Call us today at 244-7770 for an appointment. You’ll be glad you did.

doug@dklevincompany.com www.dklevincompany.com

Maui’s Largest Selection of Musical Instruments & Sound Systems for 24 years

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Val Kilmer as Agent Robert Scott If Mamet had shown the duplicity exploded in the media to a gathering throng of citizens demanding public trials, then the movie would have had somewhere to go. But the only narrative meat that Mamet puts on his script’s bones is a series of transparent vignettes that serve as thankless subplots.

For example, an eccentric female Secret Service Agent explains to Robert Scott that she raised the President’s daughter like a mother and gives him a set of photo booth pictures of herself with a young Laura Newton. The scene is laughable for all the wrong reasons. The scene demands a jarring sentimental leap of faith from the audience with no support from a wretched performance by the character actress in the role.

In another scene, Scott goes through a drawn out and violent rigmarole to intimidate a foreign convict who will lead him to where Laura Newton is being held hostage in Dubai. The body count is high but no one seems to mind.

David Mamet makes a tremendous error in not introducing the girl that the plot revolves around until the end of the movie. By the time we meet Laura Newton, she is a shell of a human being sustained by her craving for cigarettes. Extinct from her character is the necessary intelligence that we expect from a college-aged child of an American President. The girl’s rescue is instantaneously co-opted by politicians on television patronizing Laura Newton as the “soul” of the country. Clearly here is an example of saving one person at the cost of everyone else.

In the beginning of the story, a President we don’t see (and therefore can’t analyze) sacrifices his daughter to remain in power; in the end, politicians disguise their lies in the light of the girl’s rescue to declare their connection to the sum and substance of the country. Both acts are reprehensible and yet neither is punished. When do public trials begin? Rated R. 106 mins. MTW

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CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 11, 2004

19

SHOWTIMES

MOVIECAPSULES MAUI FILM FESTIVAL’S CANDLELIGHT CAFÉ & CINEMA

Wednesday, March 17 In America 5 & 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater

Newsweek raved "One of the Best Pictures of the Year... Wondrous... Luminous" about Jim Sheridan's (My Left Foot and In the Name of the Father) semiautobiographical film festival crowd-pleaser. This understatedly elegant near-myth of a story about an Irish family, who moves to the Hell's Kitchen section of New York with their daughters, to pursue their dreams was nominated for 3 Academy Awards including Best Actress (Samantha Morton), Best Supporting Actor (Djimon Hounsou) and Best Screenplay and six Independent Spirit Awards including Best Feature, Director, Female Lead, Supporting Male, Supporting Female and Cinematography. Rated PG-13. 103 min. Tickets: $8 w/MFF passport. $10 single.

New This Week AGENT CODY BANKS 2: DESTINATION LONDON - (PG) - Action/Adventure - Agent Cody Banks (Frankie Muniz) returns as a rogue CIA agent (and Cody’s own trainer) has stolen a top secret mind-control device, and Cody has to go undercover in London to get it back.

SECRET WINDOW - (PG-13) - Thriller - Mort Rainey (Johnny Depp) is a writer just coming off of a difficult divorce with his ex-wife (Maria Bello) and finds himself being stalked at his remote lake house by a psychotic stranger (John Turturro), who claims Mort stole his best story idea.

SPARTAN - (R) - Thriller - Secret Agent Robert Scott (Val Kilmer) is paired with novice agent Curtis (Derek Luke) to find the president’s daughter (Kristen Bell), who is the victim of a kidnapping. See Film Critique.

TAKING LIVES - (R) - An FBI special agent profiler (Angelina Jolie) becomes entangled in an unexpected romance as she struggles to solve a case with a serial murderer who assumes the lives and identities of his victims. Also stars Ethan Hawke, Kiefer Sutherland, Olivier Martinez and Gena Rowlands.

are interrupted when a machete-wielding serial killer arrives. So it's up to the staff to try to at least hide the bloodshed before they lose all their business and their jobs.

CONFESSIONS OF A TEENAGE DRAMA QUEEN - (PG) - Comedy - Based on Dyan Sheldon's novel, this is the story of a teen (Lindsay Lohan) who's convinced that her home city revolves around her until her family packs up and moves to the suburbs.

DIRTY DANCING 2: HAVANA NIGHTS - (PG13) - Romance - Schooled by her parents in the art of ballroom dancing, an American teenager (Rene Laven) finds herself drawn to a proud, strong waiter (January Jones) who is a brilliant dancer. Meeting secretly in an out-of-the-way Havana nightclub, they practice their steps with sensual harmony that mirrors the passion between them and are unaware that the country club, along with streets of Havana itself, are about to erupt in revolutionary violence.

EUROTRIP - (R) - Comedy - A young group of American friends take a raucous trek from London to Paris to Amsterdam and Eastern Europe, exposing them "literally" to every lascivious, larcenous and lecherous indulgence Europe has to offer.

50 FIRST DATES - (PG13) - Romantic Comedy - An aquarium veterinarian (Adam Sandler) in Hawaii falls in love with a young woman (Drew Barrymore) with a severe case of short-term memory loss, which means she never remembers meeting him, so he has to keep getting her to fall in love with him, over and over again.

HIDALGO - PG13 - Action/Adventure - This epic adventure is based on a true story of the greatest long horse race ever run. In 1890, a wealthy Sheik (Omar Sharif) invited an American cowboy (Viggo Mortensen) and his horse to enter the greatest long horse race ever run, putting them against the world’s greatest Arabian horses and Bedouin riders, whom were determined to prevent the American from finishing the race. For the cowboy, the race not only becomes a matter of pride and honor, but a race for his very survival.

LORD OF THE RINGS 3: THE RETURN OF THE KING - (PG13) - Adventure/Fantasy/Drama - The epic finale of J.R.R. Tolkien’s classic Lord of the Rings books.

Starring Viggo Mortensen, Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, John Rhys-Davies, Ian McKellan, Liv Tyler, Orlando Bloom, Cate Blanchett and more.

MONSTER - (R) - Thriller - Based on the true story of Aileen Wuornos (CharlizeTheron), who was executed

in Florida for murdering seven men in the ‘80s. She had a cruel childhood plagued by abuse and drugs and by the age of 13, became a prostitute servicing the desires of semi-truck drivers, while maintaining a lesbian relationship with Selby (Christina Ricci).

MYSTIC RIVER - (R) - Drama - A taut, multi-layered story of friendship, family and innocence lost too soon that involves a group of childhood friends bound by tragedy that are reunited 25 years later by another tragic event involving the murder of one of their daughters. Stars Sean Penn, Kevin Bacon, Laurence Fishburne, Clint Eastwood, Tim Robbins, Laura Linney and Marcia Gay Harden.

PASSION OF THE CHRIST - (R) - Drama - This is the story about the last 12 hours in the life of Jesus Christ (James Caviezel), on the day of his crucifixion in Jerusalem. The film's script is based on several books, including the diaries of St. Anne Catherine Emmerich (1774-1824) as collected in the book, The Dolorous Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ, and the New Testament books of John, Luke, Mark and Matthew.

STARSKY & HUTCH - PG-13 - Action/Comedy - In 1970, Bay City police detectives Hutch (Owen Wilson) and Starsky (Ben Stiller) always get the toughest cases from their uptight boss Captain Dobey, so they rely on the knowledable street informer, Huggy Bear (Snoop Dogg). This time, they meet again with someone from their first big case which involved a former college campus drug dealer (Vince Vaughn) who ventured on to become a white collar criminal.

TWISTED - (R) - Thriller - A police officer (AshleyJudd), whose father was a serial killer, is investigating a murder and finds herself in the center of her own investigation when her past lovers start dying at a furious pace. Also starring Samuel L. Jackson and Andy Garcia.

WELCOME TO MOOSEPORT - (PG13) - Comedy A former U.S. president (Gene Hackman) settles down in a small coastal New England town to write his memoirs and enjoy his retirement but is soon involved in a competitive race for mayor of the town against the local hardware store owner (Ray Romano).

YOU GOT SERVED - (PG13) - Comedy - A pair of friends (Omari Grandberry and Jarell Houston) want to open their own hip-hop dance and recording studio, but in order to do that, they must first win a street dance competition against another group of street dancers to prove that they have talent.

Now Showing

MAUI FILM FESTIVAL Castle Theater, 572-3456 In America - PG13 - Wed 5,7:30

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, 249–2222 (Showtimes) = Matinee $ Against the Ropes - PG13 - Th only (1:15), 9:30 Broken Lizard’s: Club Dread - R - Th (1:30, 4:15) 7:05, 9:30, Fr, M-W (4:15), 9:25, Sa-Su 4:15, 9:25 Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights - PG13 - Th (12:45, 1:15, 2:55, 3:20, 5, 5:30), 7:15, 7:45, 9:25, 9:50, Fr, M-W (1:15, 1:30, 3:20, 5:30), 7:05, 7:45, 9:50, Sa-Su (1:15, 1:30, 3:20), 5:30, 7:05, 7:45, 9:50 50 First Dates - PG13 - Th (12:30, 1:15, 2:50, 4, 4:15, 5:10), 7, 7:15, 7:30, 9:45, 10, Fr, M-W (12:30, 1, 1:15, 2:50, 4, 4:15, 5:10), 7, 7:15, 7:30, 9:30, 9:45, 10, Sa-Su (12:30, 1, 1:15, 2:50), 4, 4:15, 5:10, 7, 7:15, 7:30, 9:30, 9:45, 10 Hidalgo - PG-13 - Th (1, 1:15, 4, 4:15) 7, 7:15, 10, 10:15, Fr, M-W (1, 1:30, 4, 4:30), 7, 7:30, 10, Sa-Su (1, 1:30) 4, 4:30, 7, 7:30, 10 Lord Of The Rings 3 - PG13 - Th-Fr, M-W (12:30, 4:30), 8:30, Sa-Su (12:30), 4:30, 8:30 Monster - R - Th (1:30, 4:30), 7:25, 9:55, Fr, M-W (1:30, 4:30) 7:15, 9:45, Sa-Su (1:30) 4:30, 7:15, 9:45, Mystic River - R - Th ( 1, 4), 7, 10 , Fr, M-W (1, 4) 7, 9:55, Sa (1), 4, 9:55, Su (1), 4, 7, 9:55 Spartan - R - Fr, M-W (1:20, 4:20), 7:15, 9:45, Sa-Su (1:20), 4:20, 7:15, 9:45 Taking Lives - R - Sneak Preview! Sa 7 You Got Served - PG13 - Th-Fr, M-W (12:30, 2:45, 5), 7:20, 9:40, Sa-Su (12:30, 2:45), 5, 7:20, 9:40

KA`AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka`ahumanu Shopping Center, 875-4910 Agent Cody Banks 2 - PG - Fr-W (1, 3:20), 5:35, 7:50, 10:05 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen - PG Daily (1:15, 3:15), 5:45, 7:45. 9:45 Eurotrip - R - Th only (1, 3:10), 5:15, 7:25, 9:40 Passion Of The Christ - R - Daily (1:30), 4:30, 7:15, 10 Secret Window - PG13 - Fr-W (12:45, 3), 5:15, 7:30, 9:45 Starsky & Hutch - PG13 - Daily (12:30,1:15, 2:50, 3:45), 5:10, 6, 7:30, 8:15, 9:50 Twisted - R - Th only (12:45, 3), 5:15, 7:30, 9:45

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 875-4910 Hidalgo - PG13 - Fr-Sa (1), 4:15, 7, 9:45, Su-W (1:15), 4:15, 7:45 Passion of the Christ - R - Th (11, 2:30), 5:30, 8, Fr-Sa (1) 4:15, 7, 9:45, Su-W (1), 4:15, 7:30 Secret Window - PG13 - Fr-Sa (1:30), 4:45, 7:15, 9:30 SuW (1:30), 4:45, 8 Starksy & Hutch - PG13 - Fr-Sa (1:45), 5, 7:45,10, Su-W (1:45), 5, 8:15

FRONT STREET THEATERS

AGAINST THE ROPES - (PG13) - The true story of the first female boxing manager Jackie Kallen (Meg Ryan), who guided the careers of several major careers, including four world champions, like middleweight champ James Toney, as well as Bronco McKart and Thomas Hearns. Also stars Omar Epps.

BROKEN LIZARD’S CLUB DREAD - (R) Comedy -An alcohol (and other substances) swinging-singles-style island resort’s festivities

900 Front Street, 249–2222 Agent Cody Banks - PG - Fr, M-W ( 4:30), 7:30, 9:50, Sa-Su (1:30), 4:30, 7:30, 9:50 Dirty Dancing 2 - PG13 - Th only (4:45), 7:30, 9:45 50 First Dates - PG13 - Th (4:30), 7:30, 9:45, Fr, M-W (4:45), 7:30, 9:45, Sa-Su (1:45), 4:45, 7:30, 9:45 Hidalgo - PG13 - Th, (4), 7, 9:50, Fr, M-W (4), 7, 9:45, Sa-Su (1), 4, 7, 9:45 Starsky & Hutch - PG13 - Th-Fr, M-W (4:15), 7:15, 9:30, Sa-Su (1:15), 4:15, 7:15, 9:30

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front Street, 249–2222 Passion Of The Christ - R - Th-Fr, M-W (2, 4:30), 7, 9:30, Sa-Su, (11:30, 2) 4:30, 7, 9:30 Secret Window - PG13 - Fr, M-W (1:30, 4), 7:15, 9:45, Sa-Su (11, 1:30), 4, 7:15, 9:45 Twisted - R - Th-Fr, M-W (1:45, 4:15) 7:30, 9:55, Sa-Su (11:15, 1:45), 4:15, 7:30, 9:55 Welcome to Mooseport - PG13 - Th only (1:30, 4), 7:15, 9:45

Come to Your Senses!

8

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20

MARCH 11, 2004

661–5533 FILM

www.honoluasurf.com

(888) HONOLUA

* with MFF passport (5 films - $40) • $10 - single tickets Phone: 572-3456 • www.mauifilmfestival.com

St. Paddy’s Day with Mr. Jones

Tropix á Go-go

Wednesday, 12-3 p.m. at Mulligan’s; 5-8 p.m. at Nalu’s, Maui Marriott

Friday, 9:30 p.m. at Casanova

Our beloved uncle Trevor Jones has been entertaining Maui and most major mainland cities for over 25 years and is a staple of St. Patrick’s Day celebrations annually. A seasoned musician, he has opened for an eclectic array of major acts, like the Pointer Sisters, Taj Mahal and the Beach Boys. And last month, he even got the wives of famed golf legends Arnold Palmer and Jack Nicklaus involved in one of his rowdy singalongs.

Wherever he goes, you’ll find yourself with one hand clenching your beer and the other around the shoulder of your neighbor as you join in his merry cheer. You can be especially sure of this on St. Paddy’s Day, where Trevor will make a party of every town he’s in!

Sexy go-go dancers, beautiful people from around the world and soulful dance music that makes me never want to leave the dance floor is all I ask for on a night out anywhere. At Tropix Orgasmix, the vivacious Yolanda provides a fantastic environment that always meets these criteria. Her fiestas have become an Upcountry/North Shore staple and are the place to be. This time around, DJ Zuk from New York funks it up with his rich amalgam of Latin, Asian and Afro-House grooves. He is known as the best DJ in upstate New York and even goes to Toronto to play regularly. He comes out with a tight mix of diverse world beats and loungy down tempo to deep booty shakers that take the energy through the roof. DJ Ed V will also be in the house. [JOE GATTO]

this

week’s picks

by Sam Campos

Mega Mele

Opera Band?

Sunday, 1-6 p.m. at Maui Community College

Friday, Kahale’s; Saturday, Henry’s; Sunday, Charley’s

A real treat for the whole community, Ho’olaule’a 2004 benefits MCC and is a great chance to see Willie Nelson with the Planetary Bandits and some of the best local musicians on Maui for cheap. Barry Flanagan, Marty Dread, Willie K, Tom Conway and Gypsy Pacific, Uncle Richard Ho`opii, and Zen Shin Daiko will all make this day a memorable occasion. In between dancing on the grass under the sun and enjoying ono local grinds, stop by the Lava 405 Spa Services booth in the air-conditioned lobby of the library for a fifteen minute massage, stylish haircut, or a facial, all by donation to the library. The valuable Mana`o public radio also benefits. Tickets are $10 presale at Borders or MCC and $15 at the door. [JOE GATTO]

Maui Community College

UNIVERSITY OF HAWAI‘I SYSTEM

Well, maybe as in SOAP opera! Apparently, the Dave Steffen Band’s road to fame led them to a brief stint on popular daytime soap, “The Young and the Restless.” And if you’ve already seen these rockin’ blues jammers at Stopwatch, Henry’s or Kahale’s last week, you’ll know that the Dave Steffen Band connects with their Maui bar audience in that sorta soap opera-esque sentimental and melodramatic way that befits songs like “Workin’ Man’s Blues” and “Whiskey Train!”

Ho‘olaule‘a 2004

BENEFIT CONCERT & TELETHON SUN. MARCH 14, 1-6 P.M. OUTDOORS AT MCC

Tickets are $10 in advance or $15 at the gate, and may be purchased at Border’s Books & Music, Bounty Music, Maui Tacos (in Lahaina), Wine Corner in Paia, Blue Hawaiian Water Sports (beach kiosk at Oceanfront Inn Kihei), and at MCC’s Laulima building lobby M-F 8-5. Children 5 & under are free.

Gates open at 11:30 am.

No coolers, alcohol or umbrellas please.

Mats, blankets, and low-back chairs OK.

Join us for a fun-filled day of live entertainment featuring Willie Nelson with the Planetary Bandits, and performances by Willie K, Eric Paul Gilliom and Barry Flanagan of Hapa, Raiatea Helm, Marty Dread, Tom Conway and Gypsy Pacific, Uncle Richard Ho‘opi‘i, and Zen Shin Daiko.

Enjoy a telethon simulcast on Channel 55, 91.5 FM, and www.manaoradio.com,

a college fair, campus tours, food at the Pa‘ina

Food Court, a keiki zone, mini-spa, and various health screenings.

Mahalo to our partner Willie Nelson photo by Ron Dahlquist, Willie K by Bron Hollingshead

LETTERS

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 11, 2004

21

BOCALINO

1279 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 874-9299

thursday3/11

friday3/12

saturday3/13

DJ Boomshot, Disco, Funk, No cover, 10pm

Neto Peraza, Latin, No cover, 10pm

Kilohana, Hawaiian contemporary, No cover, 10pm

BREAKWATER

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2266

CASANOVA

Reggae Night $5, 9:30pm

CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT

VooDoo Suns $5, 8-11pm

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

142 Hana Hwy, Paia - 579-9453

Tropix Orgasmix $7, 10pm

Mon - Curtiss Williams & Guest; Tue - Jay Molina & Gilbert Emata w/Vanessa Rodriguez; Wed - Soul Concepts w/Curtiss Williams; All shows 10pm-1am, No cover Wed - Live Band, 10pm

Kohomua Kupa’a $7, 9:45pm

Wed - Ladies’ Night, $5, 9:45pm Dave Steffan Band, $7 8-11pm

Mon - Lawai’a, No cover, 10:30pm-12:30am

Salsa Night $5, 10pm

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-7189

ERIK’S SEAFOOD & SUSHI HAPA’S NIGHTCLUB

DJ Twist/DJ Apostle No cover

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-9001

Tue - Twangers, No cover, 9pm Open Mic Night, with Jim (Deviltown), 10pm

Rockin’ Sushi w/ACE’s Radio Rehab, No cover, 10pm

843 Wainee St., Lahaina - 662-8780

DJ VK Tribal House No cover, 9pm

HARD ROCK CAFÉ

Flava Zone

MON - Willie K; Tue - Fat Tuesday, w/Fat Joe, 10pm; WED - Aloha Wed

Russian Orphan Benefit, No cover, 9 pm

Mon - Marty Dread, Reggae, $5, 10pm

Celtic Tigers, 10pm

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

HENRY’S BAR & GRILL

Larry’s MIdnight Snack No cover, 9pm

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

JAWZ TACOS

1279 S. Kihei Rd. Azeka II - 874-8226

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB

Da-Haw-Y-ans No cover, 6pm

36 Keala Place, Kihei - 875-7711

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE

Road House Wrecking Crew No cover, 9pm

Dave Steffen No cover, 9pm

DJ Aloe Vera, Classic House $5, 9pm

DJ Aloe Vera, Classic House $5, 9pm

Dave Steffan Band No cover, 7pm

El Nino, No cover, 7pm

Gomega Fest $7 presale- $12 at door, 9pm

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

KIMO’S

Ernest & Co., No cover, 10pm-12am

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

monday3/15 – wednesday3/17

Greg Vickers, 9pm

Lawai’a, No cover, 10:30pm-12:30am

COMPADRES BAR & GRILL

sunday3/14

The Carroll Brothers, No cover, 9pm-Midnight

Information not available Gina Martinelli, No cover, 6pm

Mon-Wed - Da-Haw-Y-ans, No cover, 6pm

Karaoke, No cover, 9:30pm Mark Burnett No cover, 10pm-12am

Karaoke w/Auntie Toddy Lilikoi, Karaoke w/Auntie Toddy Lilikoi, No cover, 9:30pm No cover, 9:30pm

LAHAINA COOLERS

Information not available

180 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 661-7082

LIFE’S A BEACH

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

Steve Mendoza No cover

Fine Line No cover

Larry’s Midnight Snack No cover

Mon - Open Mic Nite; Tue - Lono, Wed - St. Patrick’s Day Bash w/Crunch Pups,

John Moore Project No cover

E E V I V E L I V L I L SIIC C C S U I US MU M M

PUPS RUNCH C 1 1 / R E 3 V O NO C Thurs 9:30 ORM CIFIC ST A P E H T ER NO COV Fri 3/12 9:30 OBERTS ENNY R K IENRDS & FR Sat 3/13 E NO COV 9:30

THE HALE & BAND A V 4 A 1 Sun 3/ HOT LNO COVER 9:30 E ECLIPS 6 1 / OVER 3 C s O e N u T VER 9:30

7 Wed 3/1 9:30

CO STICS NO Y! OPTYMYTRICKS DBA AGE

A EEF & CAB ST. P NED B IALS •COR

SPEC •DRINK

HRC MAUI 900 Front St., Lahaina Info: 808.667.7400

SAT, MARCH 13TH

CELTIC TIGERS

Calling All Lads & Lasses!

Don’t Wait to Celebrate.

Join Us For Our Pre-St. Patrick’s Day Party!

Guiness Specials! $5 COVER

MON, MARCH 15TH

REGGAE AT THE ROCK WITH

MARTY DREAD

HAPPY HOUR DAILY 3pm - 6pm 2411 S. Kihei Rd. 879-0602

22

MARCH 11, 2004

DA KINE CALENDAR

$5 COVER

HAPPY HOUR! 3-6pm & 10pm-12am EXCEPT SPECIAL EVENTS h a r d r o c k . c o m

DA KINECALENDAR BIG SHOWS

SKIRT SATURdAY, MARCh 13

Natalie Cole - Thursday (tonight!). Multiple Grammy-winner who has made a successful career in R&B, urban contemporary and jazz-based pop. Tickets: $35-75. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Annual Rotary Club of Lahaina "Whale of a Fest" Dinner Dance - 6 p.m. at the Royal Lahaina Resort, Alii room. This aloha-attire evening includes an island-cuisine dinner, disco dancing and a silent auction. Tickets: $25. For info, call 250-5073.

Ho'olaule'a Fundraising Concert - Sunday. A fundraising concert and simultaneous telethon on Cable 55 and Mana'o radio 91.5 FM. The entertainment lineup is: Willie Nelson, Gail Swanson, Willy K Raiatea Helm, Uncle Richard Ho'opi'i, Marty Dread, Barry Flanagan and Gypsy Pacific. Tickets: $10. 1-6 p.m., Maui Community College, 984-3261.

Hawaii Star Television Karaoke competition 10:30 a.m. at Maui Mall. Five winners will be chosen to compete for the television competition, that will be taped in Honolulu. Grand Prize will be a recording contract with one of the Hawaii’s leading recording companies. For info, call 872-4320.

Herb Reed and The Platters - Saturday. Earning the distinction of being the first black doo-woop groups to hit the pop charts performing hits like “The Great Pretender” and “Only You.” Tickets: $45-$35, 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW.

7th Annual Ocean Arts Festival in Lahaina – Sat-Sun, 9 a.m.–5 p.m. at Banyan Tree Park, Lahaina.

Celebrate the return of the humpback whales with original art and unique local crafts, live island music as well as marine-related activites for keiki. Free. For info, call 667-9194.

Roots Traveler -- An Evening of Tsugaru-Style Shamisen - Sunday. The Tsugaru-style shamisen which is currently popular in Japan is known for its fiery staccato rhythms, slow, soulful pluckings which evoke the rugged countryside of northern Japan.

Special guest appearances. Tickets: $15. 3 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW.

TICKETS ON SALE Dashboard Confessional - March 26. Alternative Rock. Tickets: $20. 6 p.m., Pipeline Cafe, Oahu, 1-877750-4400.

Bombdiggity - March 27. Budwiser True Music presents the annual Reggae and Contemporary Hawaiian music. The entertainment line up is: Ho’onua, Ten Feet, Opihi Pickers, Zacc Kekona, Keahiwai and more!

Tickets: $10 advance, $15 thru Mar 19; $20 day of show, plus applicable fees. 7 p.m., A&B Amphitheater, MACC, 242-7469.

Blink-182 - April 4. One of the world’s most recognized, emulated pop-punk acts. Tickets: $35. 7 p.m., A&B Amphitheater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Finch - May 22. Hardcore punk rock, emo and nu metal. Tickets: $17.50. 6 p.m., Pipeline Cafe, Oahu, 1877-750-4400.

EVENTS

Queen Kaahumanu Festival - Fri-Sun, 9:30 a.m. at Queen Kaahumanu Center, Kahului. This three-day festival is in celebration of Queen Kaahumanu. Hawaiian exhibits, lei contest, followed by entertainment and keiki programs. For info, call 877-4325.

Moscow State Circus - Fri, 4:30 p.m.; Sat- Sun, 1 p.m. at War Memorial Gym in Wailuku. Unlike circuses with elephants and lions trainers, this new age circus features Russian acrobats performing some the most amazing spectacles ever seen, along with swing and trapeze artist performing high above the circus floor. Tickets: $20-30. For info, call 879-0007.

THURS After 9pm

WEAR A SKIRT & GET $2 DRINKS!

Where the Locals “Hang Loose”

POOL TABLES LOUNGE TV’S

Purim Carnival - 11 a.m. -3 p.m. at the Jewish school of Maui. The Jewish Congregation of Maui will host its annual Purim Carnival, along with a silent action, back sale, great local food. Fun and games for the Kieki’s. Free. For info, call 874-0400.

Maui Celic Presents Jack Lee - 5 p.m. at Seabury Hall Perfroming Arts Studio. The world’s first Hawaiian Tartan Kilt will make an apperance in the opening Hawaiin Blessing. Tickets: $10. For info, call 878-3951.

St Patrick’s Salsa Party - 7:30 p.m. at Hapa’s.

Salsa for Orphans benefit with live music by Neto Peraza, with Dr. Nat & Rio Ritmo, as well as dancing, prizes and an auction. $12 donation. For more info, call 891-0321.

WEDNESDAy, MARCh 17 St. Patrick’s Day Festival - 12 p.m. at Mulligan’s on the Blue, Wailea. An all-day festival featuring music until midnight, along with great food, prizes for best Leprechaun, drink specials and a Maui Celtic souvenir booth. Tickets: $15 advance, $20 at the door For info, call 874-1131.

DINNER MUSIC BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria – John Kane, Wed, Thu and Fri; Harry Troupe, Sat; Kaleo Phillips, Sun; Benny Uyetake, Mon; Maurice Bega, Tue. All sets from 7:3010:30 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700.

Cafe O’Lei - Steve Argenti, Tue-Fri 5:30-9 p.m. 839 Front St., Lahaina, 661-9491.

Cheeseburger in Paradise – Brooks Maguire, Thu, Sat, Sun and Wed; Harry Troupe, Fri; Gail Swanson, Mon and Tue. All sets from 4:30-7:30 p.m. and 8-11 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855.

Cool Cat Cafe - Evan Schulman, Thu; Mike “Pelon,” Fri; Zach Schmidt, Sat; Damien Awai, Mon; How Phat, Wed. All sets 6:30 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908.

AY

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cover • $3 9pm

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SUNDAy, MARCh 14

WEST MAUI

FRIDAY, MARCh 12

night

SPORTS BAR

505 FRONT STREET LAHAINA / 667-4051

Ka’anapali Live Music rs day, 10pm-1am u h T

Live Music y, 10pm-1am Frida

PL P A T HO

cover • $5 9pm

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GET R, SOUL, REG K FUN B SIRUS AY 14 SUND

3 3/1

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3/ DANCE

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1AM W TILL

RAS & F E S 3 cover $ DJ Y9O pm • ONES OR J EVm R T : S 2p PLU

5 3/1

MONDAY

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SHOW z z a j FRETREODUCING TmHE REE IN

Eddie & Flipside Hawaiian Contemporary

9p

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DAGROOVES OF...

S E U 6 T 1 3/ O THE ACOUSTICAL ORE

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7 3/1

DAY S E N D E W AMENT

DAY TTY’S ST. PA N R U 0,000 SONGS L VTEO OX 10 R POLO JUKEB O P AY AUI’S BEST LS! ON M SPECI A

DRINK

8pm

MON-SAT 11AM-2AM • SUN 8AM-2AM

At the entrance to Ka’anapali Corner of Hwy & Ka’anapali Pkwy

For info call 661-3160 LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 11, 2004

23

LOBBY LOUNGE

Four Seasons Resort, Wailea - 874-8000

thursday3/11

friday3/12

saturday3/13

sunday3/14

Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30pm

Clay Mortensen & George Tavoularis, 8:30-11:30pm

Tiffany Lee & Josh, 8:30-11:30pm

Pam Peterson & Rudy Baria, 8:30-11:30pm

Mon - Tiffany Lee & Josh, 8:30-11:30pm; Wed - Clay Mortensen & Gilbert Emata, 8:30-11:30pm

Crazy Fingers, $5, 9:30pm N/A, $5, 9:30pm

N/A, $5, 9:30 pm Crazy Fingers, $5, 9:30pm Service Industry Night

Mon - S.I.N., Service industry night; Wed - Karaoke night, w/Tyrone, 8-11pm

LONGHI’S 888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288 LONGHI’S Shops at Wailea - 891-8883 LULU’S

1945-H S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S 844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

monday3/15 – wednesday3/17

DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

DJ Mackie Mac No cover, 9pm

DJ Big Daddy Steve No cover, 9pm

DJ Tark, No cover, 9pm

Mon - DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm; Tue - DJ Mackie Mac/Dollar Night, $5, 9pm; Wed - DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

Kenny Roberts No cover, 9pm

Wailea Nights, Barry Flanagan & Eric Gilliom, $10 8pm

Murray Throne $5, 9 pm

Merv Oana, No cover, 10 pm

Mon - Gypsy Pacific, No cover, 7pm; Tue - “Wailea Nights” w/Barry Flanagan & Eric Gilliom, $35 8-10pm; Wed - St. Patrick’s Day Festival, $15 adv, $20 door

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-Midnight

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-Midnight

PACIFIC’O

505 Front St., Lahaina - 667-4341

DA KINECALENDAR Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie - Nino Toscano, Thu and Fri; Kawiko Lum Ho, Sat; Ernest Pua’a, Sun; Brian Haia, Mon; Kawika Lum Ho, Tue; Ernest Pua’a, Wed. All sets from 6:30-9:30 p.m. 4405 Honoapiilani Highway, 669-3474.

Hula Grill - Kawika Lum and Albert & Billy, Mon; Jarret Roback and Albert & Billy, Tue; Ernest Pua’a and don, Brian & Damien, Wed; Ernest Pua’a and Bradah Brian & Don Th; Ernest Pua’a and & Kawika Lynn; Fr; Kawika Lum and Da Ukulele Boyz, Sat; Kawika Lum and Ryan Tanaka & Friends, Sun. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building P, Kaanapali, 667-6636.

Java Jazz/Soup Nutz – Live music with Tracey and Farzad, Wed and Fri, 6:30-9 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd., 667-0787.

Kahana Terrace Restaurant – Harry Troupe, Tue and Thu; Randy Reno, Sat. All sets from 6-9 p.m.

Sands of Kahana Resort, 669-5399.

Kimo’s – Sam Ahia, Wed thru Sun, 7-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811.

Leilani’s On The Beach – Crazy Fingers, Thu, 4-6 p.m.; JD & Mario, Fri, 3-6 p.m.; JD & Friends, Sat, 4-6 p.m.; Kilohana, Sun, 3:30-6 p.m; Kawika Lum Ho, Wed, 4-6 p.m. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building J, Kaanapali, 661-4495.

Moose McGillycuddy’s - Greg & Steve, Thu; Llayne & Greg, Fri; Mark & Mike, Sat-Sun; Anastasia, Wed. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7758.

Pancho and Lefty’s Cantina & Restaurante Pianist Rene Alonzo & Friends play light rock, country and blues during happy hour on Thursday from 3-6 p.m. and this Saturday from 8-11 p.m. 658 Front St., Lahaina, in the Wharf Cinema Center, 661-4666.

Wear Green See Green Save Green!

Pioneer Inn – Ah-Tim Eleniki (Local-style guitar), Thu; 6-9pm Mon; Captain Billy Bones 6-8 pm; Tue; Ricardo Dioso 6-9 pm.,658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636.

Reilley’s Steaks & Seafood - Live music (grand piano) 6-9 p.m., Gene Argelle, Mon and Tue; Joel Gold, Wed; Thu, Mark Johnson, Fri. 2290 Kaanapali Parkway, Kaanapali, 667-7477.

Sea House Restaurant – Sun; Kapule Paoa 7 p.m., Mon, Fri, Sat; Kincade Basques 7-9 p.m. Tue; Polynesian dinner show 5:30 p.m., Wed,-Thu; 7-9 p.m. Hawaiian music with Albert Kaina and Kincades. Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapiilani Road, Napili, 669-1500.

Sir Wilfred’s at Whalers Villiage - Maui West Side Jazz, featuring some Maui’s greatest musicians, 2:30-5 p.m. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Lahaina, 661-0202.

Whale’s Tale Bar & Grill - Eric Pietsch, Thu, Mon, ; Joe Bennett, Fri; Mario & Will, Sat; Anastasia & Niles, Sun. All sets from 6 to 9 p.m. 672 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4044.

SOUTH MAUI

A$$ y t s a N gs!

Savin

At Maui’s Adult Superstore!

All items in the store with a Green Tag will be marked

20% OFF!

Capische? – Mark Johnston; Thu-Sat; Brian Cuomo Su, Tu, Wed; Sal & Estaire Godinez, Mon.; all sets 7-10 p.m. Diamond Resort, 555 Kaukahi, 879-2224.

Maalaea Grill – Benoit Jazz Works, Thu, Fri and Sun, 6:30-9 p.m.; Jimmy C Jazz, Sat, 7-9 p.m. Maalaea Village Shops, 243-2206.

Marco’s Southside Grill – Various artists (piano), Mon -Sun. All sets from 7-10 p.m. 1445 S. Kihei Rd., 874-4041.

Mulligan’s on the Blue – Joyce & Gord, Thu-Fri, 6-8 p.m.; Celtic Tigers, Sun, 7-10 p.m. St Patrick’s Day Trevor Jones, 12-3 p.m., 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131.

Seawatch Restaurant - Pianist Angela Carr, Fri, 6-9 p.m.; guitarist Luis Diaz, Sat, 6-9 p.m. 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr., 875-8080.

Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café – Latin guitar w/ Luis Diaz, Wed-Fri; guitar and vocals w/ Brado, Sat; Brian Wittman Sun-Mon; Patrick Mayor, Tue All sets from 6-10 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983.

CENTRAL MAUI Mañana Garage – Neto & Friends, Thu and Fri, 6:30 p.m.; Fortunato’s Magic, Fri, 7 p.m.; Neto & Hot Salsa, Sat; Neto Peraza, Tue; Bobby & Tula, Wed, 6:30 p.m.

33 Lono Ave., Kahului, 873-0220.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI Jacque’s - Mon, Mark Johnston w/ Dustin, ambient jazz; 120 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-8844.

Livewire Cafe - Mark Johnston, Tue 7-10 p.m. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-6009.

Where Progressive or Sophisticated Adults Shop!

Open Daily

from10am til Midnight 10am to 7pm Sundays

1010 B Lower Main St. Wailuku, HI 96793 (808)249-2449 24

MARCH 11, 2004

DA KINE CALENDAR

Moana Cafe - Gypsy guitar w/ Bo Shores, Sun, 6-9 p.m.; vintage Hawaiian music, Wed, 6-9 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

RESORT SHOWS

WEST MAUI Embassy Vacation Resort – Kaanapali Beach 104 Kaanapali Shores, Lahaina, 661-2000 Ohana Bar & Grill: Live music, Thu & Wed; Patrick Major, Fri; Wayne & Friends, Sat; Scott Baird & Gretchen, Sun; Ernest Pua’a w/ Hawaiian music, Mon & Tue. All sets from 5:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

Hyatt Regency Maui 200 Nohea Kai Drive, Kaanapali, 661-1234 “Tony ‘n Tina’s Wedding” Tue, Thu, Sat, 6:30 p.m. at Spats Trattoria. Torchlighting ceremony at 6:15 nightly followed by live Hawaiian entertainment 6:309:30 nightly in the Weeping Banyan: Sam Fukuhara, Thu, Sun-Tue; Larry Gollis, Fri and Sat; Stephanie Anderson, Wed; "Drums of the Pacific" luau by Tihati, 5:30-8 nightly.

Ka’anapali Beach Hotel 2525 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0011 Kupanaha: Maui Magic for All Ages Illusions and dinner show Tue-Sat, 4:30 p.m., Kanahele Room; Lanui, live music and dancing, 6-9 nightly. Free hula show, 6:30-7:30 nightly; Sunday Champagne Brunch with Hawaiian music by Polinahe, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

Kapalua Bay Hotel 1 Bay Drive, Kapalua, 669-5656 The Bay Club: Jazz trio, Fri and Sat, 6-9 p.m.; solo pianist, Sun-Thu, 6-9 p.m.; Gardenia Court: contemporary Hawaiian music, Sun, 9:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m.; Lehua Lounge: Free hula show nightly 5:30-7 and contemporary Hawaiian music 7-8:30.

Maui Marriott 100 Nohea Kai Drive, Kaanapali, 667-1200 Nalu’s: Kilohana, Wed, 8-10:30 p.m.

Napili Kai Beach Resort 5900 Honoapiilani Highway, Napili, 669-1500 Hawaiian Music: Kincaid & Albert, Thu; Kincaid Basques Fri-Sat, Mon-Tue; Kapule Paoa, Sun; Albert Kaina, Wed; All Hawaiian music shows from 7-9 p.m.

Ritz-Carlton Kapalua One Ritz-Carlton Drive, Kapalua, 669-6200 Lobby Lounge: Live music, 6-10 nightly. Banyan Tree Restaurant: World fusion duo Ranga Pae, Fri-Tue, 6:15-9:45 p.m.

Royal Lahaina Resort 2780 Kekaa Drive, Kaanapali, 661-3611 "Eddie and Eddie" w/Eddie Lilikoi and Eddie Sebala, 5-9:30 nightly in the Royal Ocean Terrace.

Royal Lahaina Luau featuring authentic Hawaiian and Polynesian song and dance at 5 nightly.

Sheraton Maui Hotel 2605 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0031 Lagoon Bar Entertainment w/hula dancers, 6-8 nightly: Bobby & Ralph, Thu, Mon and Tue; Ralph & Allan, Fri; Fausto & Kawaika, Sat and Sun; Nathan & Ralph, Wed; torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset, 7-8 nightly.

DA KINECALENDAR The Westin Maui Hotel 2365 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-2525 Colonnade Asian Noodle Cafe: Benny Uyetake, Thu-Fri, Tue-Wed; Mitch Kepa, Sun-Mon both 6-9 p.m.; Mitch Kepa, 5:30-8:30 p.m.

SOUTH MAUI Four Seasons Resort Wailea 3900 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 874-8000 Lobby Lounge, Hawaiian music w/Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran, Thu, 5:30-7:30 p.m. followed by jazz w/ Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; contemporary music w/Clay Mortensen and George Tavoularis, Fri, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; island style trio, Sat and Mon, 5:307:30 p.m. w/ hula dancer 5:30-6:30 p.m.; Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria, Sun, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Tiffany Lee and Josh Mon and Sat, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Clay Mortensen and Gilbert Emata, Wed, 8:30-11:30 p.m. Sunset torchlighting nightly.

with a reputation for crackerjack dancing and inventive moves that range from ballet to jazz to virtuosic dancing. Tickets: $10-26. For info, call 242-SHOW.

POLITICAL Peace, Propaganda and the Promised Land Fri, 7 p.m. at Maui Community College, Ka Lama building Room 103. This video provides an historical overview striking media comparison, and examination of American political elites--working in combination with Israeli public relations strategies--exercise a powerful influence over news reporting about the Middle East conflict. Free presentation. For more info, call 573-3255.

STAGE Les Ballets Jazz de Montreal - Fri, 7:30 p.m. at the Castle Theater of the Maui Arts & Cultural Center.

A dynamic and extremely physical dance company,

KEIki “Creature Feature" - Sat, 9 a.m.–3 p.m. at Maui Ocean Center. Keiki will get the opportunity to see and touch live sea animals, including sea cucumbers, cushion stars, sea urchins, and more. The Maui Ocean Center will also have a drawing for annual Journey Pass Memberships. For info, call 667-9175.

First Annual Keiki Ocean Art Contest - Sat-Sun, 9 a.m.-5 p.m. at Old Lahaina Courthouse at Banyan Tree Park, Lahaina. Kids ages from 3-13. All entries must depict any ocean scene. For more information, call 667-9175.

Storytime With Una the Clown, Luigi and Leonardo - Wed, 10:30 a.m. in the Children’s Books section of Borders Books & Music, Kahului. Live magic and music along with storytelling, and lots of laughter with Maui’s favorite clown. For more info, call 8776160.

Send your listings & photos for the Da Kine Calendar by Monday at noon to calendar@mauitime.com or fax (808) 661-0446

Grand Wailea Resort Hotel & Spa 3850 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-1234 Botero Bar entertainment, 5:30-9:30 nightly: Larry Golis, Thu; Brian Mansano, Fri; Ricardo, Sat; Luis Diaz, Sun thru Tue; Mitch Kepa, Wed; Strolling Hawaiian duo in the Humuhumunukunukuapua’a nightly.

The Fairmont Kea Lani Maui 4100 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-4100 Jazz entertainment from 6-9 nightly in the Lobby Bar. Wailea Marriott 3700 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-1922 Hawaiian entertainment w/ hula 6-9 nightly in Kumu Bar & Grill. Hawaiian entertainment 9-11 nightly in the Mele Mele Lounge featuring Pam Gamboa Peterson Mon and Sat, Mitch Kepa & Raymond "Mundo" Medeiros. Paradyse & Ka Poe O Hawaii perform at the Luau, Mon, Tue, Thu and Fri. Renaissance Wailea Beach Resort 3550 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-4900 Sunset Terrace; Live music by Lono, Thu; Brado Mamalias, Fri; Rama Camarillo, Sat-Sun; Bobby Krueger, Mon-Wed; all sets 6-9 p.m. Wailea Sunset Luau, Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m.

Maui Prince Hotel 5400 Makena Alanui, 874-1111 Molokini Lounge: Ron Kuala’au, Hawaiian and contemporary guitar and vocals, Sun, 6-10:30 p.m. and Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m. Mele ‘Ohana duo, Mon, Wed. and Fri, 6-8 p.m., Mon-Sat, 8:30-10:30 p.m. and Mon, Wed and Fri, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

EAST MAUI Hotel Hana-Maui Hana, 248-8211 Hawaiian music in Paniolo Lounge, Thu thru Sun, 6:30-9:30 p.m.; hula show, every Thu and Sun, 7:30-8:15 p.m. in the Main Dining Room.

SpORTs Baldwin High School Golf Tournament - Sun, 6:30 a.m. at Waiehu Municipal Golf Course. Two-player, best-ball format. Entry fee: $65. For more info, call 385-0925.

Ticket Info 879-9001

lECTURES Why Whales Do That - Daily, 12:45 and 3:15 p.m. at Ocean Science Discovery Center in Ma’alaea. Free presentation focusing on the intriguing behavior of Hawaii’s humpback whales. For info, call 249-8811.

Geoff Kaufman Presents: A Musical Tribute About the Environment - Wed, 7 p.m. at Hawaiian Island Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary Education Center, Kihei. This free lecture will focus on Kaufman’s experiences with the Hudson River through song and storytelling, along with information for the community to learn more about the humpback whales. For info, call 879-2818.

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

PHOTO: BRON HOLLINGSHEAD

Napili Canoe Club - Sat, 9 a.m. at Canoe Beach (south of the Hyatt), Lahaina. Opening day for canoe season practices. Meet the coaches, paddle and register for the season. For info, call 276-9365.

The Breakwater • 900 Front Street • Lahaina Center DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 11, 2004

25

thursday3/11

friday3/12

DJ Quartz $3, 9pm

Hot Apple Pie $5, 9pm

Sirus B $5, 9pm

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Cruch Pups, No cover, 9:30pm

The Perfect Storm No cover, 9:30pm

Kenny Roberts & Friends No cover, 9:30pm

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR

Jus’Us w/Ah Tim, $3, 9pm

Jerry Caires Jr. & Evolution, No Cover, 9pm

TSUNAMI NIGHTCLUB

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-2am

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-2am

SANDBAR & GRILL

89 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8742

SANSEI 115 Bay Dr., Kapalua - 669-6286 SANSEI Kihei Town Center - 879-0004 SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

1127 Makawao Ave. - 572-1380

3850 Wailea Alanui Dr. - 875-1234

saturday3/13

THURS 3/11

sunday3/14

monday3/15 – wednesday3/17

DJ Yosef, Reggae, $3 9pm

Mon - Live Jazz Band, No cover, 9pm; Tue - The John Moore Project, No cover, 9pm; Wed - Pool Tournament, No cover, 8pm

Hale & The Hot Lava Band No cover, 9:30pm

Tue - Eclipse, No cover, 9:30pm; Wed - Optymystics, No cover, 9:30pm

FRI 3/12

SAT 3/13

D 3/17E E W E 3/16 KARAOKAYS D SUN 3/14 MON 3/15 TU i in EDNLuELSu’s Star!

T W R E a NST m

MERV MARGARITAVILLE THE Be MO S.I.N. s y a sd e u T PROJ E CT S Y A WILLY’S OANA THEMARGARITAS MOND NIGHT $ $3 $5(ANY FLAVA) $ SPECIALS! $ r SK flavo i 3 TOO MANY Any ff Martin IHE o mirn TO MENTION $3 CORONAS I RD NSTER S O PACIFICOS M • 879ANY HOUR HAPPY HOUR! DRINKS

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’A A P U K D BEAT & A U IC ISLAN VER M O KOHND MUS @ 9:45PM / $7 CO ISLA

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Make it a Memorable Evening • Dine and Dance at Casanova For dinner reservations call 572–0220 • Log on at casanovamaui.com 26

MARCH 11, 2004

DA KINE CALENDAR

TwâÄà fxÜä|vxá SCULPT-U BODYWORKS A deeply relaxing hour of exquisite bodywork 250-4817 FANTASY ISLAND GIRLS Exotic Dancers to Warm You Up...mmmm...Twin Sisters & Sexy Schoolgirl Act! Call 808-640-3891

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ENJOY WALKS ON BEACH... at sunset? Pretty SF, 5'6", 135lbs, blonde hair. Seeking traditional, honest man with sense of humor to go to movies and spend time outdoors in Maui. 811732

LOCAL KINE GRINDZ 26-year-old professional SF, likes movies, beach activities, and working with children.

Looking fun, sociable, smart, funny man, 28-38, N/S, for friendship, fun times, and hopefully more. 848870

UP FOR SPORTS Petite, hazel-eyed fox in search of hunting dog for adventures in the woods.

827182

MEN Seeking Women

CHARGE IT! Maui Time Weekly accepts credit cards for classified and display ads

Lingerie for Men & Women

MAUI’S ADULT SUPERSTORE New Releases on Videos & DVDs

BEAUTIFUL CREATIVE SOUL Looking for successful, secure, upbeat, N/S SWM, 40-55, to enjoy the island beauty, share long walks, inspiring talks, memorable meals and sensational sunsets.

616262

MAUI CHICK This nice, caring, outgoing 20-year-old chick smoker, with one son, wants a Maui boy, 19-21, who's looking for a long-term relationship. Friendship first. 826791

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WOMEN Seeking Men

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ATHLETIC GODDESS Attractive, athletic, open-minded SF, loves swimming, kayak surfing, salsa dancing.

Seeking financially secure, sweet, romantic, open-minded, conscious man, 35-50, w/good sense of humor, who loves surfing and travel. 821455

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1.800.710.8735

TO LISTEN & RESPOND TO ADS USING A CREDIT CARD, CALL

TO LISTEN & RESPOND TO ADS, CALL

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MAYBE US? SWM, 39, 6'1", brown hair, N/S, with good sense of humor, enjoys golfing, jogging.

Seeking smart, positive woman, 28-45, for possible LTR. 476538

ARE YOU LOOKING? Can you see me? Can you see what's inside my heart? Look a little deeper. SBM, 45, Leo, N/S, seeks woman, 32-50.

952237

To pay for our services using a check, call 1-800-252-0920 A LOT TO OFFER SWM, 48, likes yoga, old world singing, kayaking, traveling, hiking. Seeking mature, open-minded, fun SF, 40-55, similar interests, friendship first, possible LTR. 603730

A NICE RELATIONSHIP SWM, 51, employed, enjoys arts, movies, church and more. Seeking WCF, 30-40, N/S, for LTR. 393268

ALL FOR YOU Male, 34, short black/dark brown, medium build, works for a delivery warehouse company. Seeking a woman, 5'2"-5'8", medium build. 949288

LAID-BACK SWM, 28, in service industry, Pisces, smoker, is looking to share beach walks, romantic dinners, and perhaps a bottle of wine with a woman, 21-31. 949876

MAUI ISLAND INVENTOR SWM, 36, likes outdoor activities. Seeking SWF, 18-37, for adventurous, fun times together. Let's rock! 926297

QUALITY TIMES AHEAD SAM, 48, good-looking, tall, educated, stable, government employee, pleasant personality. Looking for a pretty, slim, feminine SF, 30-45, has a good heart, for movies, dinner dates, more. 910486

IN SHORT This Maui man, 5'9", 175lbs, brown/blue, seeks an outgoing, spontaneous woman, with whom to pair up. 877287

HUNGRY? Male, 40, 5'9", 160lbs, in good shape, somewhat athletic, brown/brown, pastry chef and car rental agent, smoker, seeks companionship with a beautiful woman, 20-40. 860511

ARE YOU OUT THERE? SM, 40, 5'9", 200lbs, long dark hair, hazel eyes, seeks fun-loving, non-judgmental lady, mid-20s to mid-30s, for sharing good times and happiness. 858448 COMPLETE ME SWM, 46, 5'11", average build, Libra, N/S, business owner, single dad, enjoys surfing, seeks woman, 30-45, N/S, for LTR. 822467 ALOHA LADIES! SWM, 33, 5'9", 195lbs, light brown/hazel Capricorn, N/S, loves surfing, diving, the outdoors. Seeking fun woman, 18-40, for hanging out, dancing, beach walking, and more. 811772

MEN Seeking Men OUTGOING AND FUN Nice Filipino SM, 18, laid-back, likes tennis, volleyball, cruising, partying, being around people. Seeking sweet, nice, outgoing man, 18-30. 717672 I WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND SWM, 29, 5'10", 170lbs, brown/brown, likes to keep fit and healthy. Seeking a man to hold hands and conversations with.

652064 MUSIC IN MY BLOOD Open to anything! Laid-back male, 24, smoker, interested in playing/writing music, loves cruising. Open to kicking it with GM, 18-25, with similar interests. 548742

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ALL I WANT SAM, 46, Sagittarius, smoker, seeks WF, 25-49, smoker, who loves to party, for friendship and casual dating. 862808

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SACRED EROTICA Amorous Bodywork. Fantasy.

Passionate Companionship.808-2830274 Blessed and Guided by Love

Preview Arcade

Answer some basic profile questions about who you are and who you're looking for.

Tell us what you’d like your print ad to say, or, if you choose, we’ll write one for you.

(808)249-2449 • 1010 B Lower Main St. Wailuku • www.paradisespice.com

Choose a notification method for us to contact you about new messages and matches:

Be someone’s...

• E-mail • Text Message • Phone Call

...better half.

Meet more great people online. Log on to

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LEAVE THE REST TO US!!

For customer service call 1-617-450-8773 or email MauiTime@placepersonal.com ABBREVIATIONS: A-Asian; B-Black; C-Christian; D-Divorced; F-Female; G-Gay; H-Hispanic; J-Jewish; M-Male; N/S-Non-Smoker; P-Professional; S-Single; W-White GUIDELINES: Personals are for adults 18 or over seeking monogamous relationships. To ensure your safety, carefully screen all responses and have first meetings occur in a public place. This publication reserves the right to edit, revise, or reject any advertisement at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content of or replies to any ad. Not a service of all ads have corresponding voice messages. To review our complete guidelines, call (617) 425-2636

LETTERS

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FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

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CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 11, 2004

27

$$CASH$$ Cash now for structured settlements, annuities, and insurance payouts. 800AUTOMOTIVE OLD ALBUMS 4 SALE 794-7310. J.G. Wentworth.... JG. Moving & must sell this great collecSERVICES WENTWORTH MEANS CASH NOW MOTORCYCLE & MOPED REPAIR tion of old record albums. 4 boxes FOR STRUCTURED SETTLEMENTS. Great Service, Top Quality Work and priced to sell. 808-661-3964.

(AAN CAN) Competitive Rates. Behind the Train Station in Lahaina. Spencer’s Cycles, 264-2545 $ MODELS WANTED $ For calendar magazine and artistic print work. Ages 18 to 35. 573-3712

AUTOMOTIVE

PRIZM Auto Detailing

BUY & SELL

ISLAND COINS & STAMPS WE BUY & SELL •coins •tokens •medals •paper money •stamps •Hawaiiana •sport collectibles

667- 6155

3rd floor Wharf Cinema Ctr.

MARCH SPECIAL!

ANY CAR $90 For A FULL Detail (Any full size truck, van or SUV - $100)

Offer Valid Thru March ‘04 Mention this ad when making appt.

CALL KELI’I at 276-3738

35

$ CAR WAS

Iinnclu des : wa sh, vac uum ,, wh eels , tire s&

H

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CLASSIFIEDS

283-7725

28

$BUY & SELL$ JEWELRY . ART HAWAIIANA . CD’S MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS MISCELLANEOUS

WEST MAUI GOLD 667-7689 1000 LIMAHANA PL. LAHAINA BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

EMPLOYMENT

COOL CAT CAFE Servers, Hosts, Hostesses & Cook needed. Apply in-person at 658 Front Street, 3rd Floor, Lahaina BARTENDER TRAINEES! $250/shift potential. No exp necessary. Training provided. 1-800-5140227 ext 406. (AAN CAN) EXPOSE YOURSELF! With one simple phone call, you can reach up to 15 million young, active and educated readers in more than 100 newspapers just like this one. Go to www.aancan.com or call this newspaper for more information.

(AAN CAN) CAREER POSITIONS Earn $12-$48 an hour. Full Benefits, paid training on Homeland Security, Law Enforcement, Wildlife, Clerical, Administrative and more. 1-800-3209353 ext. 2560. (AAN CAN)

Stop paying over 1.95% interest on home loan. Approved individuals w/bad credit, bankruptcy.

Free debt analysis, 800-887-9053, LoanNow Financial dre lic#01132888, full service mortgage banker/broker.

No APR disclosed. (AAN CAN)

Interested in Political Careers?

Learn from professionals.

Gain organizing experience on high profile campaigns to beat Bush through the Democratic Campaign Management Program. www.campaignschool.org. 888-922-1008. (AAN CAN)

A $250K+ 1st YEAR A $250K+ 1st Year Income Opportunity. Home based. No selling.

Not MLM! Call 1-877-347-3745 * 24 hrs. Training & Support Provided.

(AAN CAN)

“MOVIE EXTRAS” $200-$600/day. All looks, types & ages. No experience required. TV, music videos, film, Commercials.

Work with the best. 1-800-260-3949 Ext. 3560 (AAN CAN)

Ad Deadline Monday 4pm To Advertise Call 661-3786 Fax Number 808.661-0446 Email classifieds@mauitime.com Website www.mauitime.com Mailing 658 Front Street #126A-7278 • Lahaina, HI Drop off 505 Front St. Ste. 216, Lahaina

MARCH 11, 2004

CLASSIFIED

Accepting applications for

Maui ATM Technicians and Vault Clerk Elyte Pacific Services is seeking Full-time ATM Technicians and a Full-time Vault Clerk for the Maui Island to service ATM machines for major banks and financial institutions.

Technician requirements: • required to obtain firearms licensing - we provide training; • clean driver’s abstract All Applicant requirements: • high school diploma or GED; • good credit history; • flawless criminal abstract; • attention to details.

Pre-employment requirements include employment references, drug screening and polygraph testing.

To apply, mail resume to Human Resources, Elyte Pacific, 515 Lagoon Drive, Honolulu, HI 96819, or fax your resume to 808-839-2400 or email resume to employment@elytepacific.com.

BUBBA GUMP SHRIMP COMPANY is accepting applications for the following positions:

Kitchen Line Cooks, Host(ess), Waitstaff and Retail Sales Qualified applicants will have the following: An outgoing, fun personality, good references, a desire to work hard and have fun.

Apply in person 889 Front St. Lahaina, 2-4pm

Looking For A Little Experience?

EBAY OPPORTUNITY! $11-$33/hr. possible. Training Provided. No Experience Required.

For More Information Call 1-866-6212384 Ext. 7171 (AAN CAN) YOUTH COUNSELOR Make a difference in at-risk kids lives.

Get paid to canoe, backpack and make friends you’ll keep for life. Year-round residential positions, Excellent salary & benefits. Online Application: www.eckerd.org. Or send resume: Career Advisor/ AN, Eckerd Youth Alternatives, PO Box 7450, Clearwater, FL 33758.

EOE.(AAN CAN) BARTENDERS UP TO $1000 PER WEEK! Bartender Positions Available. FT/PT. No Experience Required. Call 1-800806-0083 ext. 202. (AAN CAN) COOL TRAVEL JOB Entry level positions, 18+, no experience necessary, 2 weeks paid training, transportation, lodging provided. $500 signing bonus to start. TOLL FREE 1-800-272-2732. (AAN CAN) TEACHING ARTISTS WANTED Must Like Children. Call 665-0007 MAUI TIME WEEKLY Inside & Outside Sales Associate needed . Individual needs to enjoy working in a fast paced and fun environment. Please fax resume to: (808)661-0446 attn: Tommy Russo

MUSIC & ARTS MUSICAL INSTRUCTION

Is Seeking Interns.

Entry level positions. High school students okay. We will train.

• Must Be Bright & Adaptable • School Credit Possible

• Work With A Fun Team • Gain Valuable Experience

Learn to Sing NICK DAMIS VOCAL STUDIOS LEARN • Pitch, Range & Breath Control

Send resume to: Jen Russo 658 Front St. #126A-7278, Lahaina HI 96761 or call 661-3786 x3#

• Options When Singing • Survival Techniques & More Beginners to Advanced Develop Your Perfect Voice CALL NOW FOR MORE INFO:

(808) 250-1484 www.nickdamis.com

CLASSIFIED LINE AD RATES 5 lines included – approx. 140 characters

Frequencies of 1-8weeks Frequencies of 9-26weeks Frequencies of 27-52weeks

$15/week* $11/week* $8/week*

Additional lines are $3 per each - bold and/or caps are $3 per line *Does not apply to Backside or Adult Services. Please call for pricing details.

✴

MUSICIANS AVAILABLE

Maui Recycling Service

KOZMICBREEZE

If not now, when?

S. & W. MAUI CONDOS from

W. & S. MAUI HOMES from

“GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND INTOwith YOUR BODY” the

When you subscribe for 3 months of bi-weekly service – (A $25 value!)

New customers only – offer expires 4/30/04

$375,000

Surf the Maui MLS Listings at www.barrybrownmaui.com Barry Lee Brown (R) P.O. Box 11782 • Lahaina

MEISNER ACTING TECHNIQUE

(808) 661-1800

For actors and non actors FREE INTRODUCTORY EVENING Tuesday,March 16th @ 7:30 pm

SHARED HOUSING, ROOMMATES

Learn how to connect with your spontaneous instincts. Really learn to listen and observe, connect with others and be honest in the moment

FREE Recycling Bins – And No Sign-up Fee!

244-0443 • www.mauirecycles.com ISLAND ANIMAL CLINIC

ALL AREAS ROOMMATE.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: www.Roommate.com (AAN CAN)

8 Week Course in Makawao

VACATION RENTALS

Begins March 23rd :Tuesday/Thursday Evenings Call for information or to register 573-3253

CLEAN, AFFORDABLE Accommodations in our vacation rental from $49 per day. Call Toll Free Wailuku Guesthouse 877-986-8270 or www.wailukuhouse.com

MUSICIAN SERVICES BLUE PAPAYA PRODUCTIONS Digital Recording Studio, Red Book Masters(Radio Quality), CD Graphic Design, Duplication & Packaging, Reasonable Rates. 250-2240 or 5727166

Haiku Market Place • 575-2811

Manfred’s Clock Repair Grandfather, Mantel, Cuckoo

FREE ESTIMATE

Phone 808-244-7884

HIV COUNSELING AND TESTING

NOTICES

SERVICES

LICENSED ELECTRICIAN HEALTHCARE FOR ENTIRE affordableelectricalandplumbing.com FAMILY $89.95 monthly. No age restrictions, Consulting, Design & Installation. includes dental, Vision, pre-existing 283-4413 conditions accepted, unlimited usage, FANTASTIC CLEANING 500,000+ doctors, 800-738-1916, limSERVICES ited time offer. (AAN CAN) We want to clean your office, house, condo units! Please call 205-7036.

ORAL/HIV TESTING/ You’ll see & feel the difference!

COUNSELING CLINIC

ALOHA VALUED READERS We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most of our ads. We read back the ad copy to ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want. If you see the acronym (AAN CAN) that ad is a national ad and was not submitted directly to us. If you have a question directly concerning AAN CAN, please check out aancan.org

MAUI RECYCLING SERVICE Picks up all your glass, plastic, aluminum, tin, mixed paper, & cardboard.

Home Pickup; a convenience for $16/mo!

Bi-monthly pick up.

Commercial accounts avail. Call Now! 244-0443

PLACING

If you feel that you have been potentially exposed to HIV and would like Free, Confidential and Anonymous testing call the Maui AIDS Foundation at 242-4900.

It is important to know your HIV status so that you do not unknowingly pass the virus to others, also early detection is vital to your health and treatment.

The Maui AIDS Foundation now offers Drop-In HIV Counseling and Testing (No appointment necessary) Drop in hours are Mon.-Fri. 8:30am to 4:30pm, Wed. 8:30am to 7pm 1935 Main Street, Wailuku For more information on HIV/AIDS, STD’s including Viral Hepatitis and HIV Counseling and Testing call the Maui AIDS Foundation at 242-4900.

In Hana call 248-7801, Lanai 5656722, and Molokai 553-9086.

A public health message provided by The Maui AIDS Foundation.

AN AD IS EASY!

MISCELLANEOUS FREE GRANTS Never repay, Results Guaranteed. $500.00-$500,000.00 Homes, Repairs, Education, Business, Emergencies, Nonprofits, Writers.

Live Operators. 9am-9pm. 1-800-6135447 Ext. 9020. (AAN CAN)

REAL ESTATE

LETTERS

NEWS

AD DEADLINE MONDAY 4PM TO ADVERTISE Call 661-3786 FAX NUMBER 808.661-0446 EMAIL classifieds@mauitime.com

WEBSITE www.mauitime.com

MAILING 658 Front Street #126A-7278 Lahaina, HI 96761

DROP OFF

✴ ✴

✴

✴

✴✴

505 Front St. Ste. 216, Lahaina

CHARGE IT!

FOR SALE ICE HOUSE LOFTS Living in Tucson Just Got Cooler.∑ Award -winning modern design with 1920∂s authenticity. Studios-3BR∂s.

Pre-Construction availability $167K$441K. Conditional Sales Contracts only being taken. (520) 623-LOFT. www.icehouselofts.com Metro Partners Reality. (AAN CAN)

Cynthia Jo Trawick, DVM

LARGE & SMALL ANIMALS Preventive Medicine, Surgery, Dentistry, Flea & Tick Control

SERVICES

Healthcare for entire family $89.95 monthly. No age restrictions, includes dental, Vision, pre-existing conditions accepted, unlimited usage, 500,000+ doctors, 800-832-9542, limited time offer. (AAN CAN)

@ Pukalani Community Center Wednesdays 9-11am; Paia Hawaiian Protestant Church Wednesdays 13:30pm; Wailuku Health Center Tuesdays 8-12pm & 1-4pm; Lahaina Comprehensive Health Center Thursdays 9am-12pm: Kihei Keolahou Congregational Church Mondays 11am-2pm. Community Clinic of MauiWailuku office Thursdays 1:30pm3:30pm. Results returned in 2 wks.

Sponsored by State Dept. of Health, for more info call Takako 984-2129

Love Your Pet! See Your Vet!

CLASSIFIEDS

ARTS

ARIES: Life is a cosmic adventure. This week is a karmic countdown. Old ghosts from the past are coming to visit—let’s hope the ghosts are more like Casper and less like Spookey. St. Paddy’s Day will be good for getting out and socializing.

TAURUS: Your popularity is rising to an alltime high. You can afford to be picky with your friends. Be self-preserving rather than selfish.

Sunday and Monday should be good days for exploration. St. Patrick’s Day is best spent with a green theme at work.

GEMINI: Career activities need to have both structure and flexibility. Enter an “open mic” or a “talent showcase.” St. Paddy’s Day has you trying something new. Learn that the potato is not native to Ireland and why the English took more Irish slaves than African ones.

CANCER: Cancers like to revel in their family tree and ancestral history. This is a good week to discover other people’s histories. It’s time to deepen your relationships. St. Patrick’s Day prompts you to seal mystical truths and sexual secrets.

LEO: You’ve been stoically plowing through some difficult times. Allow others to help you with your challenges. Working towards a common goal can create lifelong friendships. St. Paddy’s Day has you doing the “Kiss me I’m Irish thing” even if you’re Filipino.

VIRGO: You just can’t get enough love and affection this time of year. It’s time for you to see yourself as the ideal partner. Inspire wild lust without blushing. St. Paddy’s Day has you being the designated driver, the party co-host and the hangover remedy witch doctor.

LIBRA: You often play the devil’s advocate when others seem too happy or too pessimistic.

You work best when you’re working with others. Career chaos needs to be shared. The 17th finds you in a wild and playful mood.

SCORPIO: The biblical verses “God lives in the praises of His people” and “The joy of the Lord is my Strength” come to mind as I prophesy your week. Do whatever truly makes you happy. St. Paddy’s Day awakens your imagination while stirring deep memories.

SAGITTARIUS: You fear and desire the womb-like atmosphere of home. Home has been a little bit unpredictable lately. You’re coming up with brilliant ideas and crazy dreams. St. Patrick’s Day finds you pinching and teasing your non-green wearing neighbors and friends.

CAPRICORN: This is a time to go over information and to ask a lot of questions. Being in touch with family members is almost unavoidable. St. Paddy’s Day prompts you to either spend money or to make it. What side of the bar are you sitting on?

AQUARIUS: Economic concerns go back and fourth from feast to famine and from miserly to spendthrift. Take care of the basics and save the luxuries for a rainy day. St. Patrick’s Day has the moon in Aquarius adding to your popularity and your shocking sense of drama.

PISCES: Birthing pains lead to new life discoveries. Enjoy freshness and independence.

Be confident that you’re still the craziest leprechaun on the block. St. Paddy’s Day temptations could lead to danger. Go with creative impulses that don’t need libations in order to fuel a party. MTW

CURBSIDE RECYCLING!

$119,000

CALL

661-3786

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

Maui Time Weekly accepts credit cards for classified and display ads

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

BY KOZMIC KEV

CLASSIFIEDS

✴

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 11, 2004

29

HOLOHOLOGIRL

BY SAMANTHA CAMPOS

Tales from the bottom o’ me Guinness

“THE POWER OF NOW” Transformational sessions with

After the Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey Señor, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.” The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, “I’d like the best beer in the world, give me ‘The King Of Beers’, a Budweiser.” The bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says, “I’d like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors.” He gets it. The guy from Guinness sits down and says, “Give me a Coke.” The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered. The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, “Why aren’t you drinking a Guinness?” and the Guinness president replies, “Well, I figured if you guys aren’t drinking beer, neither would I.”

Luc Sauvé Explore the miracle that happens when you say to life!

YES

Irish toast: May you be in heaven a half-hour before the devil knows you are dead.

My first introduction to the wicked, wicked Irishmen of Mulligan’s came one fateful evening last summer. My girls Bébé, “J” and I went down to Wailea, where we planned on having a drink at Mulligan’s. A drink. Maybe get some food, share some laughs. Just a mellow, sophisticated night out for my married friends and me.

We met the charming Irish pub owner Mike and his gang, as they ordered us shots of a dubious blue liquid and told us tales of their last outing in gory detail. Apparently, they were all celebrating a birthday in Lahaina and had rented a hotel room. There was some talk of an instance where “Who’s your daddy?!” became the modus operandi in an illicit romantic involvement. Needless to say, the Irishmen’s hotel room was a bit scuffed and they had to make necessary reparations the next day. They also agreed to stay out of town for a while.

After this enticing tale—and two more questionable shots—we girls decided to leave our new friends and head to the Kihei neighborhood tavern, aka Dive Bar, Sports Page. When we walked in, we were clearly overdressed, as there was a Pimp ‘N Ho party in full effect, with the Crunch Pups. I just so happened to be wearing a trashy slip under my modest attire, so I quickly removed my overlaying garment and voilà! Ho I am! Hey, when in Rome…

The Irishmen arrived shortly after, immediately engaging us in a round of Blowjob shots.

The girls each tried the expected protocol of drinking the whipped cream-topped shooter with their hands behind their backs. One of the Irishmen, innocently enough, had me take my Blowjob shot, um, in between his legs. All I can say is, that thing about kissing the Blarney stone? You know, that stone in the old castle in Ireland that is said to impart persuasive eloquence on all who kiss it? Yeah, well, these Irishmen have quite obviously shared a “Who’s your daddy?!” thing or two with that damn stone.

Anyway, “J” was the only one of us who could muster the drinking of the Blowjob with any skill or finesse, and that’s how she earned the nickname “BJ.” One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling, “SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!!”

Another night a couple months later, the beautiful Irish folk of Kihei came back into Lahaina to the Hard Rock Café to catch an inspiring performance by the Celtic Tigers. Same type of deal: the endless drinking, the laughing, the passionate quarreling, Katy suddenly erupting in a jig-a-thon, and lack of memory for much of the evening.

Irish Stew: We’ve got our own recipe for Irish stew: Get some meat, some potatoes and a lot of Guinness Stout. Drink all of the stout. Forget about the stew.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! MTW

30

MARCH 11, 2004

CLASSIFIED

“Mountie Yogi”

I offer these courses for one reason only: so that you can experience freedom from suffering in your life and a deep sense of inner peace and joy - NOW!

Tuesday Nights, 6:45 to 9:00 PM Malu Ulu Olele Cultural Center 562 Front St., Lahaina (Next to tennis courts) $5.00

Come to any/all sessions... Everyone always welcome

Based on the teachings of ECKHART TOLLE, author of the New York Times Bestseller “The Power of Now” Phone: (808) 280-5038 E-mail: mountieyogi@hotmail.com

“WELCOME TO YOUR NEW ADDICTION”

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OPEN 10 AM 7 DAYS TO A WEEK CLOSE

Thanks to all of those who voted

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Mind Body

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Classes taught by Certified NIA teacher,

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MAUI’S HOLISTIC EVENTS Maui’s most complete listing of Mind Body & Spirit events. Visit www.mauivision.net. New Maui Vision issue out now!, Call 669-9091 FREE BODYWORK SESSION Free 90 Minute Bodywork Session by athletic, masculine male, new to Maui, my place or yours, feel great guaranteed! Temporary number call Matt at 808-298-6194 new 808# on April 1

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Join Pascal & Cindi at their heavenly beachside studio at Paia Bay $15 one week

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$80 for 10 classes $120 monthly unlimited

PO LUA

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Guga

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573-4288

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DINING

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$30 MASSAGE MATINEE!!!

Acupuncture & Facials too! Matinee price 9-11am, 7 days a week. Blue Bamboo Chinese Medical Center, 2099 Wells St. Wailuku 244-6778

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TO ADVERTISE Call 661-3786

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FAX NUMBER 808.661-0446

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891-9247

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Maui Time Weekly accepts credit cards for classified and display ads

65 HANA HWY., PAIA

LETTERS

HAWAIIAN MASSAGE FROM THE HEART Island-Wide, Lomi-Lomi Instruction, Craniosacral, Deep Tissue Rehabilitation. MAT#3393 Call Nicole Tanmayo Brown @ 283-6888

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BRING IN THIS AD AND RECIEVE 10 CLASSES IN 10 DAYS FOR ONLY $10!

GRU

TIME TO MOVE YOUR BODY! Bring yourself to a Nia class and discover the joy in moving with power, play, expression, creativity and ease.

Nia is appropriate for any body. Call Certified Nia Teacher, Erin Graue @ 2424343 or www.niamaui.com for schedule and more information.

WEST MAUI MASSAGE Enjoy relaxing, therapeutic massage with our professional therapists.

Outcall or incall for reasonable rates.

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BIKRAM’S BEGINNER YOGA CLASS

MASSAGE

CLASSIFIEDS

TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE Beverly Pepin offers 7 secrets of Success, March 20,21(1/2 day) at Unity Church $99. Meet her at Ohana Connection, Tuesday, March 16, 8:30am and at New Waves Wellness Center, March 19, 6:30 pm. www.lightjourney.net/beverly call 808870-8573

Internationally Known Psychic / Medium

Jason L Oliver Known for accuracy - 30 years experience Certified Hypnotist, Certified (NLP).

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Eliminate your failure chain, your self doubt, your unhealthy patterns and limiting beliefs with NLP NeuroLinguistics For appointments or information: 879~0566

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

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MAILING 658 Front Street #126A-7278 Lahaina, HI 96761

DROP OFF 505 Front St. Ste. 216, Lahaina

MARCH 11, 2004

31

back side

BEACH VOLLEYBALL 101

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Inside and Outside Sales Associates needed.

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CD’s & DVD’s NEW & USED Maui Music has a great selection of used CD’s! Kihei Commercial Center, 300 Okukai Rd #C110 • 8918090

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Fresh Maui Fruit Baskets

35

$

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39 $

$

Facial

Offer Valid Thru 3/31/04

Acupuncture • Herbal Medicine • Massage 42 Baldwin Avenue, Paia Telephone: 579-6070 MAE#1628

MAUI GROMS • SKATE & SURF Kihei’s newest skate and surf shop for the Groms. We carry Billabong, Black Label, Element, Maui Skimmers, Independent, Baker, Venture, Grind King & more...

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30 M AT # 5 2 9 3

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For reservations call 877-7005

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SATURDAY 3/13

SUNDAY 3/14

RUSSIAN ORPHAN BENEFIT

“The Only Mardi Gras After Party!”

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THURSDAY 3/11

4 1

Trained at the Mayo Clinic Rochester, MN

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MONDAY 3/15

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TUESDAY 3/16 WEDNESDAY 3/17

ALOHA ULTRA WEDNESDAY DJ Jammin J

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ALL Drinks $3 until Midnight!

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Mondays! $3 Steinlagers K I H E I

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