Within These Gates 2013
NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: All of the poetry and artwork in this literary magazine was created by young men from Washington, DC while incarcerated at New Beginnings Youth Development Center.
Within
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These
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Gates 2013
Edwin
A PRODUCTION OF MAYA ANGELOU ACADEMY • A SEE FOREVER SCHOOL •
HERE I STAND By De'Angelo
LIFE By Novell
Here I stand alone 15 years old wanna be grown
Life is more than living Life it is a process In life to be successful Anybody can live life But no one can live twice Allah blessed us with a chance To live life in his world Life is like sunshine It shines bright So try to do right.
On all moves, waiting on the next come up Hearing all these lectures, telling people to shut up Every day is like an ocean wave, just Waiting to be washed up, feds out there being Glocked up, females out there being knocked up But still I’m alone in the dark with no Light. But the red place by the jag that’s Right. Where I stand is somewhere alone Shivering scared out my bones. Still posted up Trying to hold my own, but still where I
LIFE By Devin
Stand is somewhere strong.
Life is answers The phone rings but I never attempted an answer Now I’m over in the jail But I won’t bail Jail is like hell Feds don’t care I had a dream like Dr. King said Life is weary Now my sister’s going to college That’s well, Life is answers.
Erik K. 4 | Within These Gates
2013 | 5
THE SHOES I'M IN By Latif It takes a lot to be in the shoes I’m in, So much risk you’d think wearing them is a sin So much hatred and racial profiling, It takes a lot to be in the shoes I’m in Every step that I take could be a step to my fate, The ratio for every life they take from every shoe they make? The questions never answered I just want the shoes for show, I saved my money for these shoes it’s not that hard to save your dough You better shoot me for these kicks before I strip like on a pole, Who would’ve thought that walking on these soles would involve the risking of my soul? Because of the skin I’m in and the shoes I’m in Is why others act towards me, Because of the shoes I’m in is why females adore me Sometimes because of my skin is why I’m harassed before him Some try to curse the skin I’m in and treat my shoes like it’s a sin, Or say I sin just because of my skin and curse the shoe I’m in Why judge me from these things? God made us all of equal men Don’t hate me, rob me, kill me, or judge me just because of what I’m in, Man I’m telling you it takes a lot to be in the shoes I’m in.
Sequan 6 | Within These Gates
2013 | 7
MY TEENAGE YEARS (AN ELEGY) By CJ
THE GOOD DIE YOUNG By Derrick D.
I’ve spent my 16th and 17th birthdays locked up Feeling like a bird trying to be free People keep saying next year You’ll be free, just wait. But then the next year comes And for some reason it’s all just The same.
The good die young and the bad live for eternity Nobody pays attention ‘til their good one underneath’em Then the bad becomes a teacher And all the kids follow him Then there’s always an odd-ball who tries to challenge him … That’s why the good die young.
Birthdays are supposed to be about me Celebrating with family, friends, and females. But when your family becomes DYRS And your friends other residents And the females…well there aren’t any That makes you start to think. RIP to two lost birthdays Just waiting for my 18th birthday When I’ll be free No more lost time No more lost years Just me Living out the rest Of my teenage years.
VIETNAM By Rob They say people die younger than me How could it be I’m 17 and I’m as young as could be R.I.P to that dude Skinny I guess he's free Cuz my chance of making out of the hood is probably I tell people how I feel and they say they feel sorry But sorry for the weak I’m be what I’m be Success is what I want And I’m going to do it For Skinny.
Latif 8 | Within These Gates
2013 | 9
PAPA WHERE ARE YOU? By Devin Papa I never denied you? Papa I have 6 children that are doing good. Mama told me where to find you. But you never answer. And your friend gave me your number. I text you, call you, voice mail! Never replied back to any mail. Now I’m doing bad. Cuz your @ction made me mad, I’m doing bad, stupid crimes. Cuz I never had you around I’m making my mother unproud. But I want to take her out, To big places with a big, natural, proud family With a great… Papa where are you?
MY DAUGHTER By KD Though you aren’t born You are my freedom You are my motivation and strength I’ve been sitting here, thinking A daughter needs her father So I’m going to Change my wrongs to rights To make sure you have all of the Things you need to become the Best you can be To my daughter, You are all that I need. 10 | Within These Gates
THINKING AND TALKING LIKE MY SON By Chris I wake up every morning I see my son Shining Shining And every day he`s Crying, Crying Cause daddy ain't there But I’m still here Also he still is Inside my heart I’m tryin I See a tear When I’m playing with my son Together we both sharing a tear Sitting up tall playing b-ball The ladies love us Because we shine above all I like when my son Crawls all over me Laughing so hard That I’m happy I miss the things we use to do See him soon.
Eric H. 2013 | 11
UNFAIR WORLD By Stacee
UNTITLED By Antwon
This world is unfair The government sitting Back like they are in a Lawn chair, don’t care About the black community They don’t even see what the white cops Are doing to me. See I’m a black man in the hood So I know what’s good I’m doing a bad thing thinking of good Knowing I should do What’s right? People don’t even fight no more It’s all guns and war People knocking down People’s door and I’m just begging For no more.
The sun wakes up tired because yesterday was long Deaths, cries, police cars running to the crime scene The streets are crying for someone to help Stop the violence But no one hears it The guns yell while the bullets nail down on the enemy Those youngins’ out there Heartless cuz them bullets show no sympathy This is just another day in my city.
THE GOVERNMENT By Charles More money, more power... No care So they lock us up anyway More money, more power... They see black So they throw us in the back of the squad car More money, more power... No respect Our families torn apart like a tornado More money, more power... Generation after generation Nothing new More money, more power... How do we break this cycle?
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2013 | 13
UNTITLED By Leon
STRESS/DEPRESSED By Erik K.
Like Martin Luther King I too have a dream. Peace running through my blood like a stream. But reality is cops on my back, I gotta broken spleen. Guns aimed at me with that infrared beam. This wasn’t my dream. We killin each other not thinking bout one another. Peace on my mind but the whole time we blind. To what’s really going on. They lockin us up and throwin away the keys. They killin us in 3’s this is a genocide. But when are we gonna get it through our minds? Hopefully one day before the end of time.
I can’t sleep at night because my mind Won’t rest Tired of living life dealing With so much stress I just want Peace tired of being depressed but as Long as I live my life will be a mess Happy, sad, angry, life is a mixture of Concrete and steel. Depression and pain heavy like a train Loaded with metals and dirt cries like rain My heart rains and pours Loud- like a lion’s roar. A bull seeing red suicide missions In my head but I know I have to live for my Brothers Terrance and Fred. The air I breathe is heavy like inhaling In a smoke filled room stressed, depressed, Pain and my mind racing thinking about the Past sometimes broken and unprotected with No cast. Live a little longer push forward think positive But that’s harder to say than to do because We become negative at near from the pain And hurt I’ve been through so I feel that I’m forever in the dark.
14 | Within These Gates
Rashaw
2013 | 15
I USED TO BE (PART 1) By Javonte
A DATE WITH MY THOUGHTS By Derrick A.
I used to be metal But now I’m steel. Smart, intelligent, and with good will. Hoping and praying That my day will come, Living life under the rays of sun. Being amazing and looking Proud, I love my skin That’s why I say it loud. I’m not ashamed to admit My faults because I’m a brand new car With brand new parts. With saying all of this It means one thing, I bring hope And joy to the ones who sing.
I’m sitting with my thoughts Along with my memories We’re discussing my future And the things I wanna be Like a basketball player Maybe a writer If I become a Rasta.
Delonte 16 | Within These Gates
I USED TO BE (PART 2) By Javonte I used to be a caterpillar But now I’m a butterfly Taking driving lessons Through the open skies Learning to live life and love Despite all my trials Taking life’s trials while Looking dead in its eyes. Facing fears without guns or knives But winning my battles with only my mind. I’m killing hatred with How to be kind That’s a great way To show your sign. 2013 | 17
WHY DO YOU DO THE THINGS YOU DO? By Malik Why do you do the things you do? My teacher asked me I still didn’t grow up from The mistakes I made down YSC Now a few years later, I’m down Oak Hill Smoking K2 crashing Making Lean with a pill Why do you do the things you do? The females asked me I say, Why do you always worry? Let me be free She listened to what I said and I pushed her away Now I can’t bear not seeing her another day Why do you do the things you do? My mother drilled this in my head She say “you keep doing what you doing You gonna end up dead” But I never listened I just did what I wanted It’s like my common sense was the football And David Akers just punted it Why do you do the things you do? I started to ponder that question myself But when they talked to me I didn’t listen I guess they just talked for their health So now I’m mature and I know what to do And people are saying.. Thank you for the things you do. 18 | Within These Gates
Marcus
2013 | 19
MY LIFE By Marcus
STRESS AND PAIN By Malique
Trapped in a cell Thinking about life But see it’s not just life, it’s reality When it hits you, like when the cell doors slamBAM!
Ma, I know we don’t speak enough Cause I run the streets too much And post up wit’ the heater stuck Every time I came home I know I caused you hell Cause I know you can’t take the stress And the pain when I’m in a cell The visit days be too much I could see your hell I hope and pray every night that You living well Cause any given day You could be gone away Ma, you know I love you But I show you hell I’m just hoping and praying that the pain go away.
My mind wanders off when I’m sitting in English class No longer trapped, my mind can expand Time moves too fast When you’re sitting in Transitions class Before you know it You are sitting back in that cell Feels like you’re sitting in the middle of hell This is not just life This is reality.
HER LIFE By Paul Put your feet in her shoes And feel her pain when every time She cries it pulls down like rain Her work and family deaths would make me deranged She sits and waits, Nothing is changing. She thinks about you, When will her son come back? Will he be changed? Will he be a man? To put your feet in her shoes that would be insane.
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LIFE GOES BY By Emilio Time is flyin as my life goes by I look out my window but all I see is barbwire Another day locked up Thinkin and missin you even more Sittin in my cell as da CO Knocks on my door..it’s time to come out I wipe the tears from my face Thinkin bout da long nite I just had Up contemplatin all nite Fightin not to go to sleep Keep picturing the Next life. 2013 | 21
THE FORGIVENESS By De'Andre
STRUGGLE ON THE OUTSIDE By Alexander
I forgive my dad for walking out on his only son I forgive the people who think they got over When they assume that I’m dumb I forgive life for dealing me this hand I forgive the man who bumped me Because he couldn’t see I forgive… But I can’t forgive everything Because I’ve yet to forgive myself…
I feel messed up at New Beginnings I just want to go home and lay on my bed And rest my head Think of all the bad stuff I did on the streets I just don’t want to end up dead Hope that God will help thru my predicament So I can have a nice healthy family that loves me.
LET IT RING: THE DREAM By Lamont I sit back and wait, I ask myself, Will she ever call? So many days of stress And not being able to rest Lets me know it’s you I need In my life Only you can fulfill My lust and happiness I miss the way you Smell, taste, and feel… It’s like every time we meet Something new always happens And I find myself saying Please, let it ring. It’s been one year now And I still can’t get you back in my world.
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JAIL LIFE LUCK By Carl Jail Life Is like hell, right? We sittin here bidin, doin time, turnin up While the rest of the world is going on With their lives Visits on weekends Some see loved ones, baby mothers and kids But while you havin that visit You start thinkin about your old life again How you use to have it up Goin around robbin men and women Wit your men, your favorite word Was I don’t give a—! But now you’re caught up Walking around saying you just had some bad luck Knowing that you ain’t Touching back down for another 9 to 12 months. Your jail life luck.
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TAE (AN ELEGY) By KD
AUGUST 25TH By Dominique L.
Tae is what the people close to him would say or call him But no one knew he was an angel walking the earth I got a call early in the morning When my mother and family said he really became an angel Something that was hard to believe and even hurt
Damn why we have to end like this? I can’t wake up to a good morning text or Call no more You have been gone for such Short amount of time And I still am thinking about You like crazy I won’t love anyone like I loved you I remember we would be together laughing, Talking, watching movies and there would be Time we would talk about emotions that Would put one of us in tears every time I called you It motivated me to do what it takes To grow up and change Because if I kept living my life style I will end up dead and you will Be messed up But now you are gone To a better place For the better and I know It’s time to change I will always love you No matter what.
I got a chance to hold his hand And I still didn’t believe My father being a father and never really there So losing my brother was like losing my air So one day I woke up and started to think And I noticed that the man he was The money he had The cars he drove And even some of the men that laugh Still couldn’t amount to the life he had Because at the end of the day The men that took his life are mad.
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MAY 18TH, 2013 By Emilio
DING DING DING DONG By DeAndre
It was May 18th, 2013 My wife gave birth To our son, he took his last breath Then he was gone Looking just like me Eyes close, so peaceful So precious, so harmless, so little I never even had a chance To see him, to hold him To look at him, to tell him I love him It’s a crazy world we live in I had so much planned for you I was going to give you the world Now it’s crazy knowing You’re not here with us It’s just me and your mother Living in ways society On May 18th, 2013 A part of me died.
Man, I remember I heard That song busting out the door Can I go get an ice cream cone? I laughed at what my little brother said No, it’s too late for you to be outside But he started to cry So my uncle said yeah He got his cone And I told him come in the house Bang! Bang! Bang! Everyone flooded out I heard someone crying I heard him moan Looking down the street And it was a rolling ice cream cone That was the last time I talked to him.
Demetrius 26 | Within These Gates
RIP By BJ Rest in peace Petty It would never be the same Trapping out Late nights You start the crap game Next day after that We would do the same thing When I look at your pictures I say to myself That my man did his thing I love you, homes.
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REST IN PEACE DOEBOY & KURT By Marcus Rest in Peace 2 my Fallin’ Souljas I remember we was young Playing with water guns I remember we stole Your grandfather’s gun I remember you taught Me how to shoot my first gun I remember them late nights We were watching for the law I remember them days like yesterday I remember them days
Stacee
Damn why ya`ll had to be put in the grave? I remember that your aunt and my mother Told me ya`ll was put in the grave I remember sitting there Wow Tears falling down my face Like that day we got stuck in the rain Now all I can do is REMEMBER them days Rest in peace Doeboy & Kurt.
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Derrick D.
2013 | 29
REAL LIVE By Jerrell Stress is building up. I can’t believe what’s on my mind. I feel like death could Be calling me at any moment. Oh my God !! I feel I’m about to vomit. I need to get out this world People dying, Mothers crying, But I’m blind about life. It could be nice. But my mind ain’t right.
DC By Malik The city where the going gets Tough and life growing up is Rough.You got babies having Babies, young boys going Crazy,‘cause they gotta go Out here being a stick-up Kid trying to feed and clothe Their child. But it’s only like That if you choose to go down That road. Life in the city is real City from stories I have been Told, so stay in a good lane ‘cause You just might Crash.
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DC STREETS By Nate D.C. streets is where I like to be. It helps to make me feel free. The money I make makes me happy. It is the place where people can be snappy. On the D.C. streets everybody knows me. D. C. streets loves me. Yes, they make me free!!
DA LIFE I LIVE By Marcus Da life I live It’s like a struggle But I’m always on the hustle Da life I live It feels like I’m alone But I got my hand on dat chrome Da life I live You got to keep dat chrome If you going to walk alone Da life I live Is it really a life or a struggle? Niggaz on the block trying to make a hustle Da life I live It comes with ups and downs You got to have a plan to make it out Da life I live I live it cause it’s a hard struggle To live in Da life I live.
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WHY? By Matthew Why am I living I’m asking a question Now I feel sick all of a sudden. It’s hard not to get mad when you press those buttons So I take the pain out on my arm and start cuttin’ Yes a thought of suicide its choice to survive That’s why I live this life of do or die. So as I throw this knowledge with great precision Why is living a great decision? So you can learn and listen and see visions As I go through pain it feels like I stopped healing. Why can’t we come together and run sh#t? Instead you wanna fight over dumb sh#t? The world is full of dumb sh#t— pull out a gun quick. If you get shot Fedz don’t even come quick. I need to sell dope and coke so I won’t be broke, Life is like a job interview better hope you don’t choke. I’m holding onto this rope of struggle It’s like a play with no huddle Don’t have no money so I ride this life shuttle. Why do I have a hater cuz I’m greater? Maybe cuz I bring the heat like a radiator? Cuz I don’t like losing and so I’m a winner? I’m gettin’ smarter so you know I’m grinning I’m still asking a question why am I living? Demetrius 32 | Within These Gates
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I REMEMBER By DeAngelo R.
IN MEMORY OF ANLO By Novell
I know you can’t hear me But I’m going to write Your life is like a planet Filled with bright lights 9:00 pm gun shots were fired Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! You were on the ground like you were tired You told me to go to school So I wouldn’t be a fool And for that I miss you fool.
I remember when we was coolin’ And foolin’ And we was on 34th And you used to say, “it’s strayin’ time” And you used to be trippin’ And the police hop out on us And you was high as can be And you told the police to cool out And they slammed you And you sobered up and walked around the corner And seen me and said, “Velly Vell, what’s up with you Joe?” And started making jokes But Lo Vell missing you Brah You forever on my mind And everything I do is for you.
ONE FOOT IN, ONE FOOT OUT By Derrick A. Alarm clock ringing While your arm locating the button. Mom in the kitchen singing While cooking eggs for breakfast. The smell punches your nose And you begin to rise. Get ready for school!! Your heart raced in surprise Breakfast is done! Flying to the stairs and noticing your socks. Hurry! Hurry! The bus is only 2 blocks. You grab a sandwich While mom sits smiling on the couch. Screaming, Bye Mom! While leaving the house The door opens. Pow! Pow! You’re laying there with 1 foot in, 1 foot out.
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MY LIFE AS A ROLLERCOASTER By Bernard My life is being a rollercoaster Because it don’t stop It goes slow Then it goes fast I don’t know how long it going to last. If it last for a long time I am not going to be mad. I learned my lesson Because the stuff I did Is going to be the last time I did it.
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UNTITLED By Carl
A TYPICAL DAY IN DC By Erik K.
Life is like a battle in hell that you must fight. Like Mayweather and Guerra, May 4th, Saturday night. Bruises, cut and swollen eyeballs You gotta win in life at any cost Stack your paper up as high as the monument walls Then knock it over like Dominos and watch as it falls I can’t joke Cause I could never go broke I ain’t married to Beyoncé But you could call me HOV.
The streets sing violent songs in a melody That sounds like words but is really all hums Shoes dance to the beat of police sirens Guns roaring like a group of wild lions A typical day in D.C. for me is a cell 8 x 8 With words on the wall Where the bed screams when you sleep And the ceiling seems to fall A typical day is a book that cries And opens to a page where it tells all lies A typical day is a mystery to me Because every day’s dark like blood spilled in the streets.
WHAT WE CALL LIFE By Dominique L. Life living in the ghetto is like working In the concentration camp The upper man trying to work you To death for nothing Life is like a referee coaching a game There’s going to be people guiding you So things won’t go wrong There are a lot of obstacles in life But you must push yourself through it There’s going to be people judging and stereotyping in life You must be the bigger man or woman to move on
NIGHT By Sequan The lights are dim, The moon sparks up from above, I look out my window into the darkness, And I see a white flying dove, The bathroom thinks, The sink sings, The clouds cannot be seen, But there is a full moon from up above, It is night fall, I have seen people’s life fall.
Life is a goal you will need to complete things In order to be successful. 36 | Within These Gates
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WHY THEM? By Tayvon
PAIN By Erik K.
Why take away from people who need it But give to people who don’t need it? Why them?
Pain is the book in my head that is being burned While the smoke from the flame is being released into the air Causing people’s eyes to rain with perspiration Pain is what makes you stronger It turns the boy into a man It gives him wisdom and honor And he learns from his painful past But the pain never leaves It’s here to stay Pain is like being in a car accident with no seat belts or air bags To protect you from the impact Being stuck in the mindset That lets you feel no remorse.
Why help wealthy people But look down on unhealthy people. Why them? Why feed them who are already full But starve them who don’t even have a coin. Why them? Why not take away from the rich And give to the poor? Why not build places for the poor So at night they can go behind a door? Why not give them money to go to the store? Why not help feed them? But instead you tease them? Why them?
FAST LANE By Jawaun I’m in the fast lane Running the streets night and day I’m in the fast lane Where teenagers don’t like to play I’m in the fast lane Moving fast as a car Swerving left to right As if I just left the bar I’m living the fast life I’m in the fast lane.
James
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ME, MYSELF, AND I By De'Angelo F.
IF I COULD, I WOULD By BJ
Things that I do to teach myself. Trying to read these books that are on my shelf.
If I could take my family and Go to a better world than this I would Trust me If I could bring my lost friends and family Back to this world I would If I could take the guns and the drugs away I would If I could stop the killing I would.
I try my hardest to do my best By understanding who is left. Me, me, me, me, and Nobody else but my knowledge and the heart in my chest. Always learning, never leaving, lurking in my mind For no reason. The only person I thank Is myself because I’ll never make it with nobody else. Just me free as a butterfly With beautiful wings, that shine brighter than the sun.
ODE TO MY LIFE By Jawaun
On the road to riches That I just begun.
Love is life. Life is everything. But everything is anything. Therefore life is what you make it. Take advantage of your opportunity in life. Life is very serious. So make it delirious. Life is important. So don’t be joking. Love is life.
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Jamar
2013 | 41
I WANT TO BE SOMETHING By Derrick A. I want to be something So do my family I can’t stay consistent But I think that’s insanity If I keep up with life It can take me real far Friends can’t help All you got is you Only way to survive Is pride and a clue A clue about who you are Not who you want to be You can be compared to the sun Or like a little bumble bee I want to be something. I USED TO BE By Muhammad I used to be a match, Now I’m a lighter. I used to run wild When I was a child, But now I’m a man With a beautiful daughter. I used to be a follower In the life of greed, Now I’m a leader Making an effort to succeed.
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Delonte
2013 | 43
BE AWARE By Johnithen
MOON By Reshawn
People always tell me Jay man you got them vocals and them lyrics B I tell them thanks I hear that all the time That’s because I got the space To go and clear my mind I stay away from drugs in my rhymes Because I never wanna ever Have to do time And if you look me in my eyes You can see that I constantly on my grind I see my homies standing on the block All day hustling tryna sell some rocks Getting mad popping bullets Running from the cops Killing all my black brothers Man this needs to stop And all these bammas out here smoking weed Burning up they money Spending what they don’t need People doing drugs just tryna be cool I’m a tell you one thing You better stay in school.
One time I was tired of being Young, so I wished myself into an Old man. But I was dying The children gathered around saying Don't die, Let's go out and have a good day. Look the moon is forgiving us With another sun. But I was sweating And said it is time That log has hollowed itself out And waits for me. My old spirit already has Its show.
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EDITORS: Chelsea Kirk Mara Clark SCHOLAR EDITORS: Leon Johnithen A SPECIAL THANKS TO: All Maya Angelou Academy Teachers & Staff Fellow English Teachers Ms. Rem, Ms. Barbara, and Ms. McKenna Art Teacher Emily Haines Special Education Case Managers All Youth Development Representatives (YDRs) See Forever Foundation Department of Youth Rehabilitation Services Back cover art by Raymont Centerfold portraits by (left to right) Antwon, David, Davon, Gregory, Nate, and Sequan
Latif
A PRODUCTION OF MAYA ANGELOU ACADEMY • A SEE FOREVER SCHOOL •
No part of this publication may be reproduced without permission from the authors, artists, and editors.
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