mbmuslima
The Sahabiyat Issue *July 2011
*Shaban 1432
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real women
My Lord, I ask you to expand my chest, make my task easy, undo the knot in my tongue, so that my speech will become comprehensible
The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: 'The best women of mankind are four: Mariam daughter of `Imraan, who many of you may know as Mary, the mother of Jesus, Assiya, the wife of Pharaoh, Khadijah, daughter of Khuwailid and wife of our beloved Prophet PBUH, and Fatima the daughter of the Prophet PBUH.' [Bukhari and Muslim] May Allah be pleased with them all.‖
A few months ago, while I was at work, an article popped up on my news sidebar titled ―Hot women shouldn‘t have to pay for dinner‖. Normally, I would not give two seconds to a poorly tasted article of this nature. However, since I knew I was speaking about women issues that same night, I decided to open it. The article was just as bad as its title. It went on to discuss why women who are attractive get treated better by men. First of all, I don‘t even understand how an article like that even qualifies as news, especially in light of the real news going on in the world. Once I got over this, I couldn‘t help but think ‗Alhamdulilah 3la na3mat al islam‘ which translates to ‗Thank Allah for the blessing of Islam‘. In Islam, the wife has no financial obligation. It is the husband that carries this responsibility. Women are allowed to work, if they choose to. Although a woman may not work, both genders are obligated to educate themselves.
Knowledge is what truly empowers people. When a woman or man knows the rights they have been given by Allah, no one can take advantage of them. However, when they are unaware and uneducated, they cannot fight against oppression. The beautiful thing about Islam is that it gives women choices. Before the Prophet and Khadijah (RA) were married, Khadijah employed the Prophet, making her his boss. She came from a very noble and successful family and she is a great example for Muslim women today. She balanced home life with work life, while never failing to prioritize her main goal in life: to please her Creator. The Prophet Muhammad and Khadijah spent 24 years together.
Khadijah was an independent thinker and a superb woman who was far from oppressed. She was given three nicknames: Ameerat-Quraish (Princess of Quraish), al-Tahira (the Pure One), and Khadija Al-Kubra (Khadija the Great). She used to feed and clothe the poor, assist her relatives financially, and she was known for helping her family get married. She never believed or worshipped idols, which made her unique from the majority of pre-Islam Arabs. Fatimah (RA) was the youngest daughter of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and his favorite. Going against the accepted custom, Khadijah did not send Fatimah, her youngest daughter away to be breast fed in the surrounding villages. She loved her too much to trust her in anyone else's care. Fatimah was born a few years before her father became a Prophet. Before Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) proclaimed himself the Last Prophet of Allah Almighty, he was a popular, loved man among the Quraysh Tribe. Once he proclaimed Prophethood, this all changed. Filth and garbage were thrown at him from balconies and rooftops, while detailed plans were made to murder him.
Abu Jahl was a Meccan leader who was constantly bringing trouble to the Prophet. Once, Fatimah walked passed Abu Jahl and his friends, who were sitting in front of the Kabah, planning the death of the Prophet (PBUH). When Fatimah heard this, she ran home to tell her father and she innocently asked him what would happen now. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) told her to have faith in Allah, as He was her father's Protector. Another time, when Fatimah passed Abu Jahl, he slapped her on the face for no reason at all. Following this, Fatimah went to Abu Sufyan, the leader of the Quraysh to seek her justice. Abu Sufyan took her with him to the place where the Abu Jahl was still sitting, and told her to slap him in exactly the same way as he had done.
Khadijah (RA) is proof that a Muslim women can support her husband financially, if she wants to as her own personal choice. At the same time, Islam has liberated a woman by giving her no responsibility in this sense. Commonly, those who view women as oppressed in Islam see them as being dominated by men. Most commonly, the accused are their husbands and fathers. We hear this all the time in the media. Through the lives of Khadijah and Fatimah, it is evident of what kind of father and husband the Prophet of Islam was. If you want to judge Islam‘s treatment of women, then look at the Prophet as a father. Look at the prophet as a husband. Don‘t look at the examples you see on the news. Because that‘s not Islam. Would you blame a building that collapsed due to poor engineering on math or physics? Of course not. So why are you blaming Islam for the mistakes of humans? I recommend that you take the time to read the stories about Khadijah and Fatimah, because my time-constrained details do no justice to their rich and Allah-blessed lives. The 19th chapter of the Quran is named Maryam, on behalf of Mary, the mother of Jesus. She became the best of the women in the world. In the Quran, it is mentioned that the angels said Allah chose Maryam and preferred her to the other women of the world.
Asiya, may Allah be pleased with her, was great in the fact that even though she was the wife of Pharoah, one of the most powerful, arrogant, tyrant rulers, she was a sincere believer that fully submitted herself to Allah and accepted Prophet Musa, or Moses‘ monotheism over her husband, Pharoah‘s beliefs. Earlier on, Allah SWT had also blessed her to provide refuge to Musa when he was an infant. According to Hadith, she will be among the first women to enter Paradise because she accepted Moses's monotheism over Pharaoh's beliefs. ―And Allah sets forth, as an example to those who believe the wife of Pharaoh: Behold she said: 'O my Lord! Build for me a home with You in Paradise, and save me from Fir‘awn and his work, and save me from wrong-doers.‖ Asiya was tortured in the heat of the sun. When her torturers would take a break and walk away, it was reported that Angels would shade her and she would see her home in Paradise, that she had asked Allah for. She had ultimate fate in Allah and she is proof that she liberated her soul. —-
During my undergraduate years, I worked as a personal trainer at my university‘s recreation center, training female clients. During this time, I saw firsthand how tainted body image was in the average female mind. Many times when I would ask clients what their motivation behind exercise was, many would respond with very superficial reasons. One of my childhood friends who I spent a lot of time with had a mother who would not let her eat anything past 6PM, when we were in 3rd or 4th grade. Her mother explained to her that the reason for this was because if she ate after that time, she would not be able to burn those calories.
Eating disorders have increased by 400% since 1970.In one study, 69% of girls said that magazine models influence their idea of a perfect body shape. The average weight of a model is 23% lower than that of an average woman. Not only are many models essentially starved, but even then it is not good enough. Many magazine covers and advertisements use Photoshop treatments to make skin clearer, eyes bigger, waists smaller and so on and so forth.
This isn‘t just an issue affecting women by the way. This affects men just as much. Islam‘s goal is to relieve oneself of these stresses. Some view dressing conservatively and covering areas that Allah SWT has defined for us as a means of oppression. Both men and women in Islam have certain guidelines. Some may argue that women have to cover more than men and that that is an injustice. Are men and women the same physically? Psychologically? Physiologically? No, they are not.
The majority of individuals who see Muslim women as being oppressed view liberation as doing what you want, whenever you want, however you want. Is this ideology really about whatever an individual wants for themselves? If it is, shouldn‘t there be some sort of empirical data conducted to identify what Muslim women want? While some may preach that liberation is about whatever you want, there is always a pre-defined ideology that is pushed on society. This type of framework is very problematic and has been responsible for many of the injustices the world has seen against women. Oppression stems from putting pressure on an individual through use of manipulative justifications. Islam does not need me to tell you that it is not oppressive towards women. The biggest cause of oppression is kibr (arrogance or pride). The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam) said that no one who has even a mustard grain seed weight of kibr in his heart, no one who has this in his heart will enter Jannah. Many Muslim women strive to be on the same path of these four women and yearn to attain qualities that they held. These four women are a perfect example of gender equity. Gender equality would tell you that women should be able to be Prophet‘s. Gender equity would tell you that women have a better catered role where she would be more effective personally and towards others. These women were real women. They didn‘t spend millions on plastic survey, they didn‘t abuse their bodies, and they didn‘t spend 30 minutes trying to fit into jeans that were 3 sizes too small. They were real women who did real things. Asiya provided refuge for Musa as an infant. Maryam was the mother of Isa. Khadijah was the Prophet‘s right hand woman when he received revelation. Fatima stood by her father and protected him. They enjoyed their lives through genuine and decent human interaction, all within the boundaries that their Creator has given them. They created happiness for themselves in all situations. They understood that the Only One worth defining yourself by is the One who Created you. The One who will never let you down. The One with no flaws. The One who loves your flaws. JazakAllah khair, Enjoy the issue, P.S. As always, your comments, criticism, and suggestions as an MBM reader are highly appreciated, encouraged, and valued. By the will of Allah SWT, let us all engage in a deep, collective search for truth, guided by the primary sources of Islam: the Qur‘an and Sunnah. As always, JazakAllah khair for being an MBM reader—the magazine would be nothing without you.
One of my favorite childhood memories is getting this cardboard box at the door. It was full of slim paperback stories with glossy, brightly colored covers. Upon opening up the box, my mother read out titles for us and discovered these were mostly stories from the Qur'an and Seerah. I still remember that very, early spring morning, in the quiet of the light streaming from the window as we pulled the box inside the house. I still remember the countless winter evenings as we would all be tucked in for the dark blue night, with the rosy light from the lamps casting faint shadows in the bedroom. Three sleepy heads listened to the voice of my mother read stories about Sayyidna Musa (RA), Moses, parting the Red Sea or Sayyidna Yunus (RA) Jonah and the Whale, the stories from Surat al-Kahf, and many many others. These stories of the companions of the Prophet (SAW) always inspired us with their great deeds, noble sacrifices, and good natures. Even now, as a young adult overwhelmed with the brilliant opportunities of growing up, elhamdulillah, and struggling with the many challenges of growing up and making long-term, important decisions, I find myself turning to the stories of the Qur'an and the sunna for ways that I can draw valuable lessons for my own self. While I may not always consistently apply those valuable lessons, I always find their biographies a source of sustained inspiration. The Companions of the Prophet are known as sahaba (the men) and the sahabiyyat (the women). They were those lucky enough to be with the greatest of men, the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) during his lifetime, both in Mecca and Medina. According to Sahih, "A person asked Allah's Apostle (SAW) as to who amongst the people were the best. He said: 'Of the generation to which I belong, then of the second generation (generation adjacent to my generation), then of the third generation (generation adjacent to the second generation.'" The Prophet (SAW)is also quoted as saying that "My Companions are like stars. Whomsoever from amongst them you follow, you will have acquired guidance," and also, "As regards my Companions, fear Allah, fear Allah. Don't make them the target of reproach after me. So, whoever loves them, he would love them on account of his love for me, and whoever shows enmity towards them would do so on account of his being an enemy to me" (Sahih 30:1659). The Companions, like the Household of the Prophet (SAW) should always be seen as guiding lights for us who have come far after the Prophet's (SAW) time, centuries ahead. While we always hear of the stories and descriptions of the fine, honorable men and sahaba who were following in the footsteps of the Prophet (SAW), and we must always exert more effort to learn about them in books such as Rijal Hawl ar-Rasul by Khalid Muhammad Khalid, a prominent Islamic scholar and historian, Abbas Mohammad al-Aqqad, and other 20th century writers, as well as older medieval texts closer to the time of the Prophet (SAW). Their stories should remain as worthy examples of virtues and sound character of the Muslim, the mu'min. Muslims can draw inspiration from any person who is worthy of Muslim character and virtue that is closest to Islam, men and women alike, but exploring the stories of the fine Muslimat of history can also be a great source of inspiration for modern Muslim women who also aspire to be great women, great believers, and great human beings, and to learn how the Muslim women of history have continued to show their own strength, determination, unwavering faith, compassion, and leadership. Many women Companions or sahabiyyat have wonderful stories and inspirations for us, from A'isha bint Abi Bakr, Hafsa bint Umar, Rumaysah bint Milhan, Zaynab bint Jahsh, Umm Salamah, or Hind bint Abi Umayya, al-Khansaa' (Tumadir bint 'Amir ibn al-Harth), and many other women. Some of these were fine exemplary women in their roles as wives, as mothers, but also as warriors, leaders of their societies, who helped in teaching and transmitting the teachings of the Prophet, the Qur'an, and so on. Not only this, but their stories illuminate the characters of these women. These women were women of great Muslim character and faith, and stood bravely as defenders of the faith against resisting husbands, fathers, brothers, and sons, standing resilient against the resistance of the Meccan society to accept early Islam. They were also some of the best transmitters of the Prophetic Traditions, or the ahadith, and from them we know the manners, actions, and sayings of our Prophet (SAW). Not only this – the status of the sahabiyyat tells us about the nature of women in Islam, serving as inspiration for us living in our age and time. Women were highly educated as scholars and experts in religion and secular knowledge, and were often found leading their societies with competence, participating actively in wars and battles and political events, from advisors to warriors to nurses for the wounded. These women were outspoken, confident, and cheerfully participated in their societies. They were not afraid to speak up and share what was on their mind. They had dialogues with men in their societies, asserting their presence, intelligence, compassion, and their own Allah-given talents. If there is any template for Muslim women today, in a world where so much confusion is spun around our role in this religion, the sahabiyyat are the ones to look to. May Allah SWT bless our lives and guide us with His hude and nur to become good Muslimat and mu‘minat. Ameen. JazakAllah khair, Enjoy the issue,
Sister Nur Soliman,
1. If you are having a difficult time trying to find appropriate clothing in stores for school, work, or special occasions, don‘t worry. I did a bit of searching around to make your life a little bit easier. You can order online!
Here are a few sites that I refer to a lot:
They offer nice ensembles that are affordable, and the shipping time is not bad either. Give them a try! 2. If you are trying to get dressed in a hurry, and you do not have time to wait for your new wardrobe to get delivered, try layering! You can make just about any shirt modest if you wear a longer-sleeved shirt underneath the short-sleeved shirt, or wear a light cardigan or blazer on top of the shorter shirt to keep covered and look smart. 3. Instead of throwing away old clothes that no longer fit, or are not as modest as you may like, why not donate them instead? There are plenty of disadvantaged people who are in need of clothing and could use a helping hand. Your charity and generosity is not only good for others, but you will also feel good about yourself knowing that you had the resources to help out another person who is in need.
JazakAllah khair,
Sister Jennifer Fawzy,
By Brother Kyle Smith,
―The traditions of the Sahabiyat have influenced many Muslim women, thus leading those women to become the best mothers and spouses.‖ The companions were very important to the development of the Muslim ummah. They were the ones who narrated all of the Prophet SAW‘s hadith, and they are the ones who witnessed all of his traditions. It is obvious that the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) is the ultimate source where we derive our knowledge about the deen of Allah. However, Muhammad (SAW) was not a woman, nor was he a mother. So while he (SAW) gives us instructions through hadiths such as ―paradise lies under the feet of your mother,‖ he does not give us a hands-on example as to how to be a perfect mother. This hadith shows the importance of a mother. Being that Muhammad (SAW) is not a mother, then who do we turn to in order to get a hands-on example of how to be a perfect mother? That is none other than the sahabiyat.
The sahabiyat include the women in the family of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW). Furthermore, they were the women who witnessed the family life of the Prophet (SAW). Therefore, the sahabiyat knew what it truly meant to be a mother and a wife, because they were the primary source. Their motherhood traditions have been passed down through the generations. The traditions of the Sahabiyat traditions have influenced many Muslim women, thus leading those women to become the best mothers and spouses. If it were not for the sahabiyat, we would not have that primary source as to how to be the perfect mother. Lastly, the Muslim ummah would be nothing without good Muslim mothers. Image Credit: Ramon Grosso | Dreamstime.com
―Assimilation should not mean that you lose your identity just because you move to another city or country.‖
By: Sister Jennifer F. Fawzy, The act of women covering their hair is nothing new for Muslims, but for others it seems very unusual. Head covering is not just limited to Muslims; in fact, Catholic Nuns wear a garment called the habit which includes a veil-like headpiece. Nuns are respected for keeping their modesty and chastity as it coincides with the Catholic faith. Images of the Virgin Mary adorn church walls with her wearing a long veil on her head and she is often depicted wearing a long flowing dress. These images are accepted in society as part of being pious, feminine, and respectable. Why then, is a Muslim woman called oppressed when she wears the hijab? Why does head-covering seem to create a stir when worn by Muslim women, but appreciated when worn by Catholic women? Cultural unfamiliarity plays a part when it comes to the negative images that have been used against Islam and Muslims. As Muslims, our faith is a huge part of our lifestyle. Generally, we do not partake in actions that are considered sinful. Many Westerners accuse Muslims of not assimilating in the countries that they live in. First, what do we consider assimilation? How does assimilation affect our faith? I watched a video online recently, and there was a gentleman who starred in the film. He began to talk about why he thought Muslims and Islam were a ‗threat‘ to the American people. ―If Muslims are good and everything, why don‘t I see them out in regular places?‖ He said, ―I never see them at discos, baseball games, or night clubs. Something bad must be going on with them.‖ This statement stuck with me. You see, part of the reason that we are not at discos, or nightclubs is because it goes against our religion. These places usually have or sell alcohol - which is against Islam - so why would you find Muslims there? Why would you find us
blatantly disobeying our Lord? We adhere to our religion; it does not adhere to us. Assimilation should not mean that you lose your identity just because you move to another city or country. Sure, you should learn the language of that place as well as the laws and customs there, but you should not have to surrender your religion and your cultural identity for the sake of relocating. Most Muslims continue to hold steadfast to Islam, especially when living in a society that is comprised of mostly non-Muslims. Islam gives us strength and hope; it fosters a deep connection to God within us. Does fitting in with society mean more to us than obeying God? Non-Muslims do not see any ―fun‖ in abstaining from alcohol, pork, premarital sex and immodesty. Many of them simply don‘t want to be restricted. Performing 5 daily prayers is just too much for their busy lifestyle, after all, they have to be successful at work and make all the money that they can. They cannot understand that our boundaries serve a great purpose. Muslims are supposed to stand out. We are supposed to be different. There is nothing oppressive or archaic about our faith. Islam has withstood the test of time because we live by the Truth, and in the society that we live in, the truth has been distorted and made to seem like it is oppression. Personally, anything that separates me from God is oppression. Islam made me free. As always, it is my prayer that you gain something from this article. I pray that you have encouragement to be steadfast in your worship to God, despite what anyone else thinks. May Peace be with you. Image Credit: Kasia Biel | Dreamstime.com
, For the believer, there is a lesson in everything. As a relationship coach my claims to a perfect marriage is not an exaggeration or an impossibility. What makes a marriage perfect is your perception and approach towards it. If you are to consider the necklace incident of Aisha radhi Allahu anha, then keep in mind her faith in Allah subhana wa ta'ala, and her resolve to move on in her marriage and her life afterwards. Aisha radhi Allahu anha chose to make her marriage a perfect one by looking towards what she wanted to make of it, rather than what others did."
By Sister Tayyaba Syed,
We all can use a little appreciation. It is always nice to know that our efforts are being noticed and recognized by our loved ones, especially our spouses. But how often do we declare our appreciation for our spouses? Forgetting to notice the little things is so easy to do in a marriage. However, even saying ―please‖ and ―thank you‖ goes a long way and can bring peace in our hearts for one another. Here are a few pointers on what your spouse may want to hear from you:
This is something we all tend to take for granted. Being a good spouse is simply expected but not appreciated at times. Let your wife or husband know how wonderful he/she is and how fortunate you are to be married to such a spouse. Nobody said parenting would be easy. Parenthood is serious hard work and a team effort between both parents. If you recognize each others‘ sincere effort trying to raise the children correctly, you will create a great support system for one another to get through all the ups and downs of parenthood insha Allah. Whether he/she works in or out of the home, work is work. Take some time to let your spouse know that you realize how much of an effort he/she puts in to take care of the family and household regardless of what the profession is. The job can be as a truck driver, homemaker, doctor, or whatever. Everyone works hard to support their family. Getting stuck in the daily grind can make a person feel like he/she is running out of things to talk about. It is important to make it a point to carry intellectual conversations with one another to maintain mental stimulation. Let your spouse know he/she is a very smart individual. This is harder to do than you think. It is not always easy to admit that your spouse is right. It is time to make a change. Source: Polartern | Dreamstime.com
By Sister Fida Islaih,
Image Credit: Stanislav Butygin | Dreamstime.com
Peach Lemonade Slush By Sister Yvonne Maffei,
My latest creation involves frozen peaches, but you can add any frozen fruits you think might go well. Skip the ice addition in the recipe if you want a thinner, more liquid drink. Ingredients * Juice of 6 small lemons, or about ½ cup fresh lemon juice * 1 cup ice cubes * 1Pound frozen sliced peaches * 2 tablespoons organic raw cane sugar Directions 1. Squeeze fresh lemons and remove all seeds. Add liquid to a blender. 2. Add the ice cubes, frozen peaches and sugar to the blender. Turn blender on high and on the mode that will crush the ice completely, allowing it to run for about 45 seconds. 3. Serve in glasses cold. 4. If storing, place in the refrigerator, covered, where it will stay fresh, insha‘allah, for about 1-2 days.
[These letters are one of the miracles of the Qur'an, and none but Allah (Alone) knows their meanings].
(This is) a mention of the mercy of your Lord to His slave Zakariya (Zachariah).
When he called out his Lord (Allah) a call in secret,
Saying: "My Lord! Indeed my bones have grown feeble, and grey hair has spread on my head, And I have never been unblest in my invocation to You, O my Lord!
"And Verily! I fear my relatives after me, since my wife is barren. So give me from Yourself an heir,
Who shall inherit me, and inherit (also) the posterity of Ya'qub (Jacob) (inheritance of the religious knowledge and Prophethood, not the wealth, etc.). And make him, my Lord, one with whom You are Well-pleased!".
Allah said) "O Zakariya (Zachariah)! Verily, We give you the glad tidings of a son, His name will be Yahya (John). We have given that name to none before (him)."
He said: "My Lord! How can I have a son, when my wife is barren, and I have reached the extreme old age."
He said: "So (it will be). Your Lord says; It is easy for Me. Certainly I have created you before, when you had been nothing!"
[Zakariya (Zachariah)] said: "My Lord! Appoint for me a sign." He said: "Your sign is that you shall not speak unto mankind for three nights, though having no bodily defect." Translation: http://noblequran.com/translation/index.html Transliteration: http://www.islambasics.com/view.php?bkID=30&chapter=18
WORDS EXPLAINED FOR THE NON-MUSLIM InshaAllah Simply translated from Arabic to English, InshaAllah means „God willing‟. This is a very commonly used phrase, as Muslims believe God has power over everything. MashaAllah Simply translated from Arabic to English , MashaAllah means 'Whatever Allah (God) wills'. Often, it is used as an expression of delight or achievement. JazakAllah khairan Simply translated from Arabic to English, jazakAllah khairun means „May Allah reward you for the good”. This is commonly used to thank someone or to acknowledge someone‟s effort. SubhanAllah In Arabic, SubhanAllah means „Glorious is Allah”. This is used when praising God. It is also commonly used as a exclamation like “Wow!”. Masjid The Masjid is simply the Arabic word for Mosque. Many Muslims refer to the Mosque as a Masjid. Masjids are primarily used for Salah (Prayer) Jummah prayer The Friday prayer services that Muslims attend weekly. SWT: Subhana wa’ta3la Arabic Praise used after the name of Allah meaning „glorious and exalted is He” Hijab Headscarf prescribed to Muslim women for modesty purposes Shahadah Declaration of Islamic faith. Assalamu Alaykum May peace be unto you.