Features
It’s a Balls up
Why Movember is more than a ‘tache.
Trevor Noah
SA’s global golden boy of comedy.
Fitness SOS
Get your summer body game on track.
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STAY CLASSY SUIT UP Style
GQ’s BEST DRESSED SHOW YOU HOW
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NOVEMBER CONTENTS Features
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STYLE / A Guide to the Perfect Suited Look SEX / Get Her Wet with Emojis GOOD LIFE / Get to know Trevor Noah HEALTH / Summer Body SOS, 3 steps to getting ripped quick. HEALTH SPECIAL FEATURE / The importance of Movember Sex
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ON THE HUNT / Not to be missed events in Jozi QUICKIES / News bites, snippets and facts.
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For monthly news, reviews, updates and happenings, MC is the place to come. Find us at mcworld.co.za or visit our Facebook site. Tell us what you think and what you’re up to @ MC-World. We want to know about your hidden hunting grounds. Subscribe and make sure you’re up to date. Every month we’ll be prowling the streets and adding to your skills for how to thrive and survive in South Africa’s most exciting cities. Got something to share? Need some extra info? Drop us a line at info@mcworld.co.za
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STYLE
SA’s Best Dressed Men GQ recently announced their list of the 100 most stylish men in South Africa. These gentlemen are dapper and known their Windsors from their Trinities. These are our top style icons from their selection of stylish gents. Local gents mixing international suaveness with a real South African take on what it means to dress well.
Mix formal & casual
Know your knots
Antonio Ambrosio Brand Manager
Teko Modise Footballer
Play with collars Monochrome wins
1 Trevor Stuurman Photographer 8
MCWORLD.CO.ZA | NOVEMBER 2015
Wanda Lepoto Stylist
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STYLE
Easy RULES FOR THE PERFECT SUITED LOOK
Want to rock a suit like the GQ guys? Start with choosing the right fit for your body. Ask the sales assistant to help you choose classic, modern or slim fit.
Personalise your look with a bit of detail. A pocket square never goes out of style
Only one button done up. And it is always the top one.
Trousers should end midway between heel and top of the shoe.
Start by picking the right size knot for your face. Proportion is key!
Your cuff should break about 6mm below your suit arm.
Not too long short, your tie should end just above your belt.
Keep those shoes polished! NOVEMBER 2015 | MCWORLD.CO.ZA
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SEX New emojis mean you can say more with less. So rejoice, awkward texters who don’t have very good communication skills! But let’s be real. It can also add new spark to your sex life. Just make sure both parties have updated iOS 9.1 — otherwise your conversations will be filled with empty boxes.
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The taco emoji is here at last. Sure, you really “liked tacos,” but everyone just wanted it to sext. Plus we have the hot dog now. Fast food makes for saucy sex. Sorry, Taco Bell.
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Drop the banana emoji and get suggestive game consoles. Disco stick? More like joy stick!
No excuse anymore to forget protection. Always wrap your handheld device. Always.
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TEN CREATIVE WAYS
TO SEXT WITH EMOJIS
Thanks to the addition of new hand gestures, you should have no problem describing what you’d like to do.
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SEX
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Netflix and chill? for the more tame at heart. Line up a playlist and get cuddling, or other things.
Forget the squirt emoji to tell her you’re there... Popping champagne is new orgasm.
Be direct, yo. Sometimes it works. Plus it is much more fun to decipher the emoji, cue giggle.
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We know it means “wind,” so put your lips together.
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Feel like some 50 Shades of bondage? A whole new toolset abounds. Watch me whip...
Ah, the burrito. You decide what it is. So many options.
SEX T ER BE WARE
16% of men have mistakenly sent a text to a family memeber.
95%
Of all texts sent are of sexual images or ideas. NOVEMBER 2015 | MCWORLD.CO.ZA
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GOOD LIFE
Trevor Noah
Seven things you probably didn’t know about South Africa’s golden boy of comedy.
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In 2015, Noah moved to New York City to replace John Stewart as the host of the Daily Show on Comedy Central. His career is flying, with Noah charging R3 million for a private gig and the financial magazine, Forbes, placing his net worth at $3million. Ka-ching! 14
Noah is no stranger to scandal, earlier in 2015 his Twitter behaviour caused a storm and was deemed offensive and sexist.
Noah speaks more than five languages and comes from a Swiss/South African heritage.
MCWORLD.CO.ZA | NOVEMBER 2015
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GOOD LIFE
Noah sites comedy greats Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, Eddie Murphy and John Stewart as his comedy influence. He also attributes growing up in a mixed race family during apartheid as a major building block for his humour and world view.
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Noah has appeared on many international talk and panel shows including; The Daily Show (which he now hosts), The Tonight Show, The Ellen Show, Would I Lie To You?, and QI. Noah has also performed at the prestigious Apollo theatre in London.
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Along side international acts, Noah performed for the Royal Family at the Royal Variety Performance in London. King of Comedy, meet the Queen of England.
Last, but not least, this is Jordyn Taylor, Noah’s new super model girlfriend. They met in New York and the couple has been seen getting cosy all over the city.
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HEALTH
Pro tip: Download a free training app for extra motivation.
Summer Body SOS
So you’ve spent winter working on your body, in all the wrong, delicious ways, time to tone up, fast!
What’s your workout? Let us know on Twitter @MC-World
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Chew to Tone
No need for crazy fad diets, add these three steps to your meals and you will eat the kgs away!
Protein is your friend Protein does two great things, it feeds your muscle growth and it also assists in keeping you fuller for longer. Aim to add 30gs of protein after a workout. Best in lean white meats and fish. 16
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Say cheese! European scientists have found that diets rich in dairy assist in minimizing fat absorption. The calcium binds to fat and escorts it from the body to prevent it becoming stored. Full fat is king here!
Two words: whole grain Carbs aren’t the devil. But refined cards are pretty evil. To keep your blood sugar normal and prevent unwanted weight gains, aim for whole grains as much as possible.
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Mix the Basics
Warm up
1st Cardio
1st Strength
Cool down
2nd Strength
2nd Cardio
HEALTH
Cardio and strength go hand in hand. But instead of separating them into two distinct parts, combine them in intervals and maximize the burn.
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High Intensity
Every second counts
Body weight for weights
Timed sets for the win
Limit sets to 60 seconds per set and ignore traditional reps. Work until time is up. Use a weight that is challenging and not too heavy. Rest for max 15-20 seconds after.
Aim for exercises that incorporate maximum movement and body weight for a total burn. Mixing agility and strength are a good start. Incorporate weights into standard agility work.
Including rest, aim for set groups to be 6-8 min, repeating groups up to three times. Rest for up to 60 seconds between the set groups. Keep your heart rate up and feel the burn.
Long sets of high reps is great for long term goals, but if you wanna see big changes fast, keep the intensity high and the duration low.
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HEALTH
MOVEMBER
Growing your ‘tache is all good, a little facial hair never hurt anyonre. Just don’t forget why we’re doing it. Donate! Get a checkup! Find a Mo Bro. Your health is important!
The Movember Foundation is a global charity helping men to live happier, healthier lives. Since 2003, millions have joined the men’s health movement, raising $685 million and funding over 1,000 programs focusing on prostate cancer, testicular cancer, poor mental health and physical inactivity.
The Neighborino
Makeout Bandit
Pick your The Plumber
The Magnum
‘stache The Gunslinger
15-39 95% 5 4,300 1 in 23 18
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El Bandito
The ages between which testicular cancer is most common in South African men. The five year relative survival rate for men diagnosed with testicular cancer in South Africa The average number of men that will die from prostate cancer every day in South Africa. South African men diagnosed with prostate cancer every year.
Men in South Africa who will develope prostate cancer in their lifetime.
HEALTH
Swinging low(er) sweet chariot?
There is no need to stress! It is perfectly normal for one of your boys to hang a little lower than the other. But be sure to have a good feel around and check for lumps.
What’s in a Name? We’ve all a name for our boys, some are just stranger than others: Family Jewels Grapes Wedding Tackle Stones Beanbag Huevos Sandbags Jingle Bells Walnuts Itchy & Scratchy Sweetbreads Bollocks Kiwis Crown Jewels Knackers Baubles Plums
Junk Hanging Garden Naughty Bits Spunk Bunkers Cajones Scallops Marbles Rocks Avos Nads Giblets Nuggets Coin Purse Chestnuts The Twins The Lads Spuds Cream Donuts Brains Fun Sack
Bend over & spread ‘em... We know it is super awks. We know you are stubborn. But there is no point in you dying of stubbornness. All you need to do is have regular checkups. It is just a finger. And it is over before you know it. The chances of survival with early detection are hugely increased! Just be a man, and take it in the ass.
For more information and health resources visit www.za.movember.com NOVEMBER 2015 | MCWORLD.CO.ZA
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November Highlights
Keep up to date @MC-World and mcworld.co.za
Sophiatown heritage ensemble: 01 November 14:00 What? Sophiatown Heritage Ensemble gathers iconic jazz names to bless Sophiatown’s future. A spectacular mix of traditional and modern. Where? Sophiatown Heritage and Cultural Centre How much? R200
Skhumba hlophe: 06-07 November 20:00 / 19:30 What? The most anticipated one man comedy show of the year, Hlophe take you on a hilarious journey of where he comes from to where he is now. Where? The Lyric Theatre How much? R130 - R150
Jo’burg On the Hunt...
All the hottest events in and around your city
Lindiwe Maxolo: 04 November 20:00 What? Lindiwe Maxolo is an emerging powerful vocalist in the South African Jazz music industry. She is recipient winner of the 2002 Afro Vocal Category in the Old Mutual Jazz Encounters Competition. Where? Orbit Jazz Club How much? R120
Johannesburg International Comedy Festival: 06-08 November What? The first ever Johannesburg International Comedy Festival. With big names this is sure to be a must see if you are in the need of a good laugh. The gigs will be taking place at various venues, so be sure to go online and see who is saying what and where. Local and international comedy acts and entertainment. Where? Braamfontein & Newtown How much? R250
Did we miss something? Did you have a big night out? Let us know on Twitter @MC-World 20
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First Thursdays: 05 November 17:00-21:00 What? First Thursdays Johannesburg is a free cultural experience where art galleries and other cultural attractions in Braamfontein stay open late on the first Thursday of every month. Where? Braamfontein (Maps available online) How much? Free Luyanda madupe & h3: 05 November 20:00 What? Music legend Luyanda Madupe combines forces with H3 in a music event not to be missed. A fantastic collaboration with a jazz vibe to celebrate love through sound and energy. Where? Orbitz Jazz Club How much? R120
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Celeb Life
We can’t keep our eyes off Miss Moneypenny. Reprising the iconic role as the MI5 office hottie, Naomie Harris has our tongues wagging. You’ll know her form Skyfall where she gave Bond a sexy close shave. She is spectacular in Spectre. You may not realise that she was also Deodoma in Pirates of the Caribbean.
@GugsM | FNB Stadium is the Kelly Rowland to Moses Mabida Beyonce. @MapsMaponyane|Just saw that my bank branch has free WIFI for their customers. Interesting considering the ‘no phone’ @Kanyewest | Fuck any game company that puts in-app purchase on kids games!!! @Trevornoah | In LA you’re not sure if people are homeless or preparing for a role.
Source: esquire.com Moth sex. Wait, what?
DID YOU KNOW?
Soweto Derby Facts Six of the last 11 league matches between Chiefs and Pirates have ended in draws. Stuart Baxter has suffered just one defeat in eight matches against Pirates as coach of Amakhosi. Bucs have had four different coaches in charge during the period that Stuart Baxter has coached Chiefs, which started in June 2012 – Augusto Palacios, Roger de Sa, Eric Tinkler (twice as interim coach, including the current spell) and Vladimir Vermezovic. Chiefs midfielder Willard Katsande’s header that won the second league derby 1-0 last season is the only goal he has scored in over 100 appearances for Chiefs.
Convict firefighters: career goals.
Moths remember the species of plant they first had sex on - and consider that plant their favourite. Even though he was pretty destructive, Godzilla was given Japanese citizenship earlier this year. As a rehabilitative measure, prisoners in California can fight forest fires as a way of reducing their sentences. There is a small town in Portugal called: Fail.
Epic, erm, Fail!
In China, it is illegal to reincarnate without first submitting a Reincarnation Application to the government.
In 1950, all English footballer’s salaries were capped at twelve pounds per week
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