Understanding
Boys A RESOURCE GUIDE FOR PARENTS OF BOYS
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It takes something special to raise a boy. Boys lag behind girls in reading and literacy. Boys are disciplined more frequently in schools. They are, on average, less involved in school activities and have more struggles academically. In college and into the workplace, younger women are beginning to outpace men in degrees, salaries and leadership. The news isn’t as bad as it may seem at first glance, however. Research also suggests parents and communities can make significant inroads when it comes to raising a strong, mature, responsible and successful young man. This booklet is intended as a resource to help you and your son during his journey. Please visit mccallie.org/understandingboys to find links to books, articles, and blog posts mentioned in this publication.
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BOYS + SOCIETY
BOYS + COLLEGE
BOYS + READING
GIVING BOYS A LOVE OF READING
People often misconstrue the difference in reading preferences between boys and girls by claiming “Boys don’t like to read.” According to a November article in Huffington Post, however, boys read less due primarily to “a lack of engagement.” The results are dramatic. By their senior year in high school, boys have fallen nearly 20 points behind their female peers in reading. This does not have to be the case. What makes boys tick? What inspires them? Compiled below are a few books for parents interested in research and approaches in the art of raising boys. Also provided is a sampling of the most engaging books for boys themselves, as recommended by boys school librarians.
Books for Parents
Books for Middle School Boys
The Blessing of a B Minus: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Resilient Teenagers Wendy Mogel. Scribner, 2011
Al Capone Does My Shirts Gennifer Choldenko. Perfection Learning, Year. 2006 Newbery Honor Book.
Boys and Girls Learn Differently: A Guide for Teachers and Parents Michael Gurian. Jossey-Bass, 2001.
Brave Story Miyuki Miyabe. VIZ Media LLC, 2009. 2008 Batchelder Award Winner.
Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from NatureDeficit Disorder Richard Louv. Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill, 2006.
Elijah of Buxton Christopher Paul Curtis. Scholastic Paperbacks, 2009. 2008 Coretta Scott King Author Award Winner and Newbery Honor Book.
Your Child’s Strengths: A Guide for Parents and Teachers Jenifer Fox, M.Ed. Penguin, 2009.
Ender’s Game Orson Scott Card. Tor Science Fiction, 1994. National Book Award, Newbery Honor, and Printz Honor Book.
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success Carol S. Dweck, PhD. Ballantine Books, 2006. How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiousity, and the Hidden Power of Character Paul Tough, Mariner Books, 2013.
The Legend of Buddy Bush Sheila P. Moses. Simon Pulse, 2005. 2005 Newbery Honor Book, 2005 Coretta Scott King Honor Book. For a larger selection of great books for Middle School boys, visit mccallie.org/mssummerreading
44% 67%
(National Center for Education Statistics, 2000).
Elementary and high school
44% of boys read for pleasure, compared with 67% of girls.
BOYS
GIRLS
BOYS SCORE SIGNIFICANTLY
LOWER THAN GIRLS
on standardized measures of
reading achievement.
(Pottorff, Phelps-Zientarsky, & Skovera, 1996).
Nearly half of the girls said they read for at least 30 minutes each day, compared with less than one-third of boys.
“Literacy Skills for the World of Tomorrow”, was developed by UNESCO and the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) and based on tests involving 4,500 to 10,000 students in each country.
BOYS + COLLEGE
Boys are three to five times more likely than girls to have learning and/or reading disabilities placement in schools.
BOYS + SOCIETY
vs
GIRLS
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BOYS
BOYS + READING
STATISTICS
THE “GENDER ACHIEVEMENT GAP” IN COLLEGE EXISTS. . . AND IT BENEFITS THE ENGAGED BOY.
In U.S. high schools, twice as many males are suspended, and three times as many males expelled, as females (National Center for Education Statistics, 2009). Boys are less likely than girls to take Advanced Placement exams and go to college, and they are far less likely to earn a post-graduate degree. Research indicates engagement in extracurricular activities—sports, community service, music and arts—increases academic achievement and extends the educational lifespan for boys, where each year of success and advancement equals a significant increase in professional opportunities.
SUGGESTED READING Income and Gender Gap in College Attainment Widens Caralee Adams on December 6, 2011; Education Week “College Bound” blog “Women outplace men in education in every demographic group and, especially, in the top quartile of income distribution. . . At the highest income levels, women have a 13 percent advantage over their male counterparts.” Top Students — Especially Boys — Suffer in High School Transition Jason Koebler on September 21, 2011; US News and World Report According to a recent study by the Fordham Institute, a large number of America’s highest-performing middle school students regress during high school, and boys are especially vulnerable to this “9th Grade Bulge” effect. Creativity, Persistence and Working Memory Art Markman, Ph.D. on May 16, 2012; Huffington Post’s science blog “Chances are, when you start thinking about something, whether it is a musical solo or an idea to revolutionize our education
system, the first few things you come up with will be variations on ideas you have encountered in the past. . . .When you have high working memory capacity, you are better able to pull out both the initial ideas that are not deeply original as well as other more novel ideas.” College Experience by Gender Richard Whitmire on October 4, 2011; Education Week “Why Boys Fail” blog “We should be worrying about the postsecondary track record of males. And we should be doing far more to encourage more women to become risk-taking entrepreneurs, engage the hard sciences, run for public office—or all three.” Guggenheim Study Reveals Importance of Arts Education in Development of ProblemSolving Skills and Creativity Findings from The Art of Problem Solving Presented at June 3–4, 2010 Conference Results from the Learning Through Art program, a U.S. Department of Educationfunded study, reveals that arts programs improve students’ literacy and critical thinking skills.
BOYS + READING BOYS + COLLEGE BOYS + SOCIETY BOB UNGER, EDITOR, THE STANDARD-TIMES, NEW BEDFORD, MA FROM “BOYS NEED OUR HELP TO BECOME TOMORROW’S MEN”
MCCALLIE VOICES
BOYS NEED TO KNOW they belong to something bigger than themselves, that important things are expected of them, and that other people are counting on them.”
TODAY’S BOYS ARE CAUGHT IN A WHIRLWIND OF CULTURAL TRANSITION.
“What’s the matter with men?” For years, the media has delivered the direst of prognoses. Men are “in decline.” Guys are “getting stiffed.” The “war on boys” has begun. And so on. In the summer of 2010, The Atlantic’s Hanna Rosin went so far as to declare that “The End of Men” is upon us. Today’s boys are surrounded by an unprecedented variety of distractions, such as video games, cell phones, and the Internet. With this flood of new influences, it is important to provide boys with a roadmap to navigate their increasingly complex society with a sense of balance and stong values. The importance of surrounding boys with the right mentors and peers cannot be underestimated. The challenge of our changing times is to find and hone the strengths of boys, empower them and teach them to manage—and take pride in—their responsibilities to self, family, community and world.
BOYS NEED TO BE SURROUNDED by positive influences to break through popular culture’s narrow definition of manhood.
DVD: Raising Cain: Exploring the Inner Lives of America’s Boys Hosted by Michael Thompson, Ph.D. PBS Home Video, 2006. “America’s boys are in trouble. Boys are doing worse in the classroom than 10 years ago. They are unable to express their emotions. They are the most violent in the industrialized world. What is responsible for this behavior? From the public school system to the absence of strong male role models, boys face a number of obstacles. But what can we do to keep them from growing into men who are stoic, silent and explosive-more prone to anger than empathy?” Book: The Minds of Boys: Saving Our Sons From Falling Behind in School and Life Michael Gurian. Jossey-Bass, 2007. Michael Gurian’s blockbuster bestseller The Wonder of Boys is the bible for mothers, fathers, and educators on how to understand and raise boys. It has sold
Book: Flight Plan Lee Burns ’87 and Braxton Brady, PDS Publishing, 2010. “It’s important to know the person God wants us to be,” Burns says. “I believe God calls us into authentic manhood, as we pursue His purpose and passion for our lives.” Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Kids Roots and Wings M.D. Kenneth R. Ginsburg MD FAAP, American Academy of Pediatrics, 2014. “This award-winning guide from bestselling author and pediatrician Dr. Ken Ginsburg guides parents and other caring adults how to help kids from the age of 18 months to 18 years build the seven crucial “C’s”--competence, confidence, connection, character, contribution, coping, and control. These are the critical ingredients young people need to bounce back from life’s challenges and thrive far into the future.” Article: “The End of Men” Atlantic Monthly, July/August 2010 “In 2010, women became the majority of the workforce for the first time in U.S. history. Most managers are now women too. And for every two men who get a college degree this year, three women will do the same. For years, women’s progress has been cast as a struggle for equality. But what if equality isn’t the end point? What if modern, postindustrial society is simply better suited to women? A report on the unprecedented role reversal now under way— and its vast cultural consequences”
BOYS + READING BOYS + COLLEGE
Book: Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men Leonard Sax, PhD. Basic Books, 2009. “Something scary is happening to boys today. From kindergarten to college, American boys are, on average, less resilient and less ambitious than they were a mere twenty years ago. The gender gap in college attendance and graduation rates has widened dramatically.”
over 400,000 copies, been translated into 17 languages, and sells over 25,000 every year, which is more than any other book on boys in history. To follow up on this first book, which launched the boy’s movement, he has now written this revolutionary new book which confronts what he and a lot of other parents and teachers in this country truly believe to be a ‘boy’s crisis.’
BOYS + SOCIETY
The Road to Character David Brooks, Random House, 2015. “We don’t become better because we acquire new information. We become better because we acquire better loves. We don’t become what we know. Education is a process of love formation. When you go to a school, it should offer you new things to love.”
MCCALLIE VOICES
SUGGESTED READING
WE ADD VOICES OF EXPERIENCE AND UNDERSTANDING TO THE CONVERSATION.
As a preeminent and nationally-recognized boys school—something increasingly rare in the 21st Century—we have perspectives as faculty, staff, students, and alumni that can broaden the discussion on the lives of teenage boys. We are constantly a part of the conversation about boys, their role in a changing society, their need for guidance and their need for engagement and leadership opportunities.
Selected Posts from blog.mccallie.org Views from the Ridge: Perspectives on Boys and Education A Spot on Main Street Mark Wiedmer ’76 “Praise without criticism is a lack of real interest, and the McCallie faculty has never been accused of that, either during our time as students or, in many cases, for the rest of our lives.”
If You Think Boys Don’t Like To Read, Think Again Bob Bires, Dean of Student Life; English Teacher “People sometimes like to suggest that today’s students don’t like to read. I beg to differ, at least here at McCallie. Our summer reading numbers are strong, especially since we offer a wide variety of choices with the twin goals of challenging and interesting teenaged boys. It’s even easier to meet those goals when the boys are choosing the books.” Keep Going David Restaino ’11 “Be bad at things, be embarrassed, be afraid, be vulnerable. Go out on a limb, or two, or twelve and you’ll fall, and it’ll hurt. But the harder you fall, the further you’ll rise. The louder you fail, the clearer you future becomes. Failure is a gift, so welcome it.”
BOYS + COLLEGE
BOYS + READING The Power of Integrity Jim Carlone ’88, Faculty Advisor to the Senate “Acting with honor and integrity is a choice we have to make every single day. And it is not always an easy choice to make, because there are definitely consequences when we make mistakes. There are a thousand scenarios you could find yourself in every single day where you have to make a decision about whether or not to act honorably.”
BOYS + SOCIETY
How Have We Practiced Excellence? Matt Harris ’10, Grayson Award “How have we practiced excellence for those who will come after us?” This essential question, and having the courage and strength of character to ask it of ourselves, is the basis of Matt Harris’ powerful Commencement Day address, a talk that received the first standing ovation veteran faculty members could remember.
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An Incident Ken Henry, Upper School English Teacher “‘What’s up?’ I asked, addressing the young man with my expected clever nickname, confused why they’d left the comfort of the classroom heat. ‘The test was on the table,’ he said. ‘Didn’t need to be in there.’ A great many people volunteer for great and public moments, but it is the honor, truth, and duty of small and quiet moments that make this school what it is.”
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