McGill Tribune April 3

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ISS JOKE

The McGill

Published by the Tribune Publication Society Volume No. 31 Issue No. 24

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

2 SSMU to raise fees Inter-Tribal Youth Centre 4 Editorial 6 Earth Hour 8 Microsoft UEFI 17 Whores’ Glory 18 MLB preview 22-23

UT (PULLO

pages

9-16)

Masquerade protest marches downtown (see p.4)

Multi-pronged mascarade protest aimed to disrupt downtown Montreal and raise awareness on student concerns. (Sam Reynolds / McGill Tribune)

Motion to censure SSMU VP External fails by vote of 11-11-1 Carolina Millán Ronchetti News Editor A motion to censure SSMU VP External Joël Pedneault failed at SSMU Council’s meeting last Thursday, March 29, with a narrow vote of 11 for, 11 against, and one abstention.

The motion, submitted to the floor by nine movers, cited several reasons to censure Pedneault, including his use of SSMU funds to print materials promoting a student strike, his decision to grant students and members of Coalition Large de l’Association pour la Solidarite syndicale etudiante (CLASSE) afterhours access to the SSMU office, and his participation in picket lines at other Montreal universities. The motion also referenced the fact that last week the administration excluded Pedneault from the university

campus for five days.

The motion was addressed during confidential session and then debated in an open session in front of a full gallery, which included members of campus political groups, including the Mobilization Committee (Mob Squad) and the Moderate Political Action Committee (ModPAC).

In a subsequent vote, Council voted against debating in confidential session.

Kady Paterson, education representative and a mover of the motion, said that the motion was drafted on the day of Council.

“It’s us [movers] trying to keep our executive accountable and make sure that our constituents’ opinions are heard,” Paterson said.

SSMU president Maggie Knight opened the debate by emphasizing the gravity of a motion to censure.

“Censure implies misconduct. It implies that policies [and] rules have been violated—not that somebody’s actions were disagreed with,” Knight said. “Regarding the concerns around VP Pedneault’s political actions, I think it’s very important for the SSMU as it goes forward [to consider] that no executive, councillor, or any other member of the society be a scapegoat for policies people disagree with.”

Knight, who stated she would vote against the motion, continued to refute the clauses identifying the reasons for the censure. Among her reasons, she noted that allowing student activists supporting a SSMU mandate to use SSMU printers “could be entirely appropriate.”

“I’m not clear that [granting after-hours access to CLASSE members has] been proven to be true,” Knight said. “To my knowledge, there’s no written rule that says this

is not allowed to happen, therefore it is not a specific violation.”

Senator and VP University Affairs-elect Haley Dinel explained her rationale for being a co-mover of the motion.

“It’s because of the actions, not because of the person,” she said.

“It’s mainly because a lot of students this year have felt that the way the VP External portfolio [sic] has acted and has not [represented] undergraduates as a whole.”

Some councillors raised concerns of the lack of clarity of some current SSMU mandates.

“I think a lot of actions are being defended by the current mandate of [promoting] accessible education,” arts representative Joshua Fagen said. “Like councillor Hernandez was saying, ‘accessible’ is an extremely vague word. It’s very much open to interpretation.”

Several councillors were vocal

about their concerns with the motion.

“I feel that this resolution to censure VP Pedneault would effectively mandate him to not do his job, which to me [is] a contradiction of what we should be promoting the executives to do,” Carol Fraser, VP Clubs and Services, said. “The pull of Council is to promote executives to do their job. If this resolution passes, I don’t know exactly what VP Pedneault is expected to do.”

Arts representative Justin Fletcher described the atmosphere during debate as tense and emphasized the small margin of the final vote.

“It was crazy to hear that it was a tied vote with one abstention,” he said. “I think it reveals some of the divided sentiments on campus.”

Following the meeting, Pedneault said he was surprised that the See “CENSURE” on page 3

NEWS

CAMPUS

VP Pedneault among students excluded from campus

Letter from Associate Dean cites fears that some students’ presence on campus would be ‘detrimental to good order’ Kyla Mandel Managing Editor On March 26, the McGill administration excluded SSMU VP External Joël Pedneault and two other anonymous McGill students from the McGill campus until Friday, March 30, a total of five days.

Pedneault’s exclusion from the campus followed an incident after an UQAM professor held his class in room 348 of the Frank Dawson Adams Building on McGill campus Monday. According to Pedneault, the action was intended as a means to work around the strike currently occurring on the UQAM campus.

Pedneault was invited by the UQAM Science Students’ Association to observe and potentially mediate the class discussion, and was the only McGill student in attendance, along with five or six people from the UQAM student association, and approximately 10 students attending the class.

“There was no picket line, just people explaining that they’re on strike and that they should respect the strike,” he said. “It was really peaceful, just a discussion. People

were discussing the merits of the student strike.”

After 45 minutes, the UQAM professor cancelled class, and it was around this time, according to Pedneault, that a McGill security agent arrived. Pedneault said the security agent stayed for a couple of minutes after having been called by the UQAM professor.

Pedneault received an email a few hours later from Associate Dean (Student Affairs) Andre Costopoulos stating that “I have reasonable grounds to believe that your continued presence on campus is detrimental to good order.” Pedneault’s exclusion from campus falls under Article 21(a) of the Code of Student Conduct and Disciplinary Procedures, and the email concluded stating that “At the end of this period, I will decide whether I want to recommend an extension of your exclusion under Article 21.”

“It’s kind of a troubling situation, in the sense that they basically have the ability to exclude people from campus with very vague reasons and there’s no clear way to contest it,” Pedneault said.

“This is also not the first time

that McGill filed disciplinary proceedings against me,” he added.

“In a way it’s not surprising. I’m a strong advocate of certain political positions.”

According to Pedneault, the two other students who received similar emails informing them of their exclusion from campus had been distributing flyers with information about the student strike outside of a class whose student association had voted to go on strike.

McGill’s blog regarding demonstrations outlines that “Most offences under the code and most circumstances that lead to exclusion from campus under Article 21(a) involve allegations and reliable preliminary evidence of repeated and systematic infringement of the rights of others in one form or another.”

“Peaceful assembly, free expression, demonstration—those are never a problem,” Costopoulos explained.

Costopoulos was unable to comment on specific cases, however he noted that instances such as students who physically block access to classrooms or students who continue to pursue discussion on political top-

ics with disregard to a professor’s attempts to begin lecture, could fall under breaches of the code if allegations were submitted.

“There are some grey areas there, I agree,” Costopoulos said of the code of student conduct. “The basic question that you need to ask yourself always is, is there an infringement on someone else’s rights in what I’m doing ... If you’re infringing [on] somebody’s rights then probably it’s an offence under the code.”

“It’s clear in my mind that it’s an explicitly political move on the part of the university,” Pedneault said. “All of the three people who were banned from campus support the student strike and part of the student movement and it’s definitely in relation to that.”

“No one is facing disciplinary action for free expression or demonstration or for assembly,” Costopoulos said. “The only cases that I’m aware of are cases in which there’s a specific breach of the code of student conduct.”

McGill’s blog, however, notes that “Article 21(a) is not itself a disciplinary sanction, and that it does

not constitute evidence of a breach of the code of student conduct.”

The email Pedneault received from McGill explained that special arrangements could be made if he needed to be on campus during his five day exclusion “for any valid academic reason.” Pedneault has since been granted permission from Costopoulos to be in the Shatner Building last Thursday from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. and from 2 p.m. to 5 p.m. on Friday, March 30.

These arrangements enabled Pedneault to continue his work as VP External this week, however he said the exclusion had an effect on his ability do his work.

“It’s slowing down the kind of work that I can do, not in a very significant kind of way but in a way that’s definitely annoying,” he said.

Pedneault is currently attempting to follow through with Student Advocacy as well as with VP University Affairs Emily Yee Clare on the potential abuses Article 21(a) can invoke due to an unclear appeals process.

STUDENT GOVERNMENT

SSMU may raise student fees to pay for Shatner utilities Administration and SSMU continue negotiations on lease, which expired May 31, 2011 Christy Frost Contributor Last Thursday, March 29, SSMU Council discussed the status of the lease on the Shatner Building.

“We’ve been in negotiations about the lease since our mandate was not renewed some time in the first semester,” Emily Yee Clare, VP University Affairs, said.

Last November, Council voted against accepting the administration’s current lease proposal, meaning that SSMU currently does not have a signed lease for the Shatner Building.

In a closed council meeting, the council produced two mandates.

The first stated that their general manager Pauline Gervais should attend all their lease negotiations and the second that they should release a public statement about the state of negotiations.

“We didn’t get a lot of helpful response from the university for a while, but over the last few weeks we have started negotiating more successfully over key concerns,” SSMU President Maggie Knight

said. “Our key concerns … largely address issues of financial security and for SSMU to be able to plan for its financial future. We are responsible for utilizing students’ money effectively.”

“There will be a huge increase on SSMU’s side in terms of investment,” Clare said. “In Fall 2012 we will be likely going to referenda for the fee increase.”

Knight explained that the increase will most likely take the form of two fee levees.

“One will be an increase to the SSMU base fee to cover utilities costs, as the university is adamant that SSMU must pay for an increasing amount of its utilities,” Knight said. “[There may also be] a more short term fee levee to cover a capital investment in the HVAC (heating, ventilation and air conditioning) system.”

Knight estimated an increase of five to 12 dollars per student, but emphasized that that is only a rough estimate as they are still in negotiation with the university.

“If we’re a student union trying for accessible education, of course

we want to keep fees down,” Clare noted.

The council also discussed the student strike actions that have taken place at McGill.

A few people in the gallery expressed concern over the role that SSMU Council members and SSMU resources had played in the recent student actions.

“Exactly how much of those funds were allocated to Mob Squad?” Hailey Herbert, U1 English, asked on hearing that some SSMU funds were put towards promoting accessible education.

VP External Joël Pedneault explained that it would be impossible for SSMU to directly support Mob Squad, as they are not an official group.

“Mob Squad doesn’t exist the way people think it does,” Pedneault said. “Mob Squad is a Facebook page, a listserv. You can’t cut a check to Mob Squad, for example.”

Shyam Patel, SSMU VP Finance and Operations, was unable to access the finance files during the meeting but encouraged any students with questions about the way

Councillors discussed the lease. (Michael Paolucci / McGill Tribune) SSMU money is spent to come to his office hours.

The council also discussed the departmental strikes and picket lines and their effects on students.

Senator Haley Dinel expressed concern over the complaints she received from students who were prevented from reaching their classes by hard picket lines.

“I’m having a really hard time knowing what to tell them when they call me in a panic telling me they can’t reach their classrooms,” Dinel said. “They essentially don’t know if they have a space which is a safe space on their campus … When

I have students coming to me saying they don’t feel safe in their buildings, that’s when I get concerned.”

“In regards to hard picketing, that is no way to garner support for your cause,” arts representative Justin Fletcher said. “Don’t interfere with their lives. Don’t drum, that is not a way to get anyone on your side.”

Later in the discussion, a motion was put forward to release a statement condemning hard picketing. The motion did not pass, however, as council members raised concerns about respecting the authority of student associations.

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STUDENT GOVERNMENT

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Special SSMU GA cancelled due to lack of strike motion Logistical issues including time constraints and space availability also cited as contributing factors in the decision Laura Douglas Contributor A Special SSMU General Assembly (GA) scheduled for this past Wednesday, March 28, was cancelled after the undersigned councillors withdrew their petition. The assembly was called with the knowledge that there might be a motion for a strike vote, but at the time of its cancellation no such motion had been submitted, a contributing factor to the decision to withdraw the petition.

A petition to hold a Special GA of SSMU can be submitted to the speakers of council signed by eight SSMU Councillors, or 200 mem-

Censure continued from COVER motion was submitted.

“A lot of concerns they raised, I never had even gotten an email about,” Pedneault said, referencing the clauses regarding after-hours use of SSMU facilities. “The most shocking part of it was the allusion to disciplinary proceedings against me on campus,” he added.

“The discussion at SSMU is, ‘do we censure Joël Pedneault, in part because he was censured by the university in some way?’” he said.

“I don’t see how it makes any sense in terms of challenging power dynamics and abuses of power, and I think it’s a real shame that that’s the discussion we have tonight instead of ‘do we condemn the university’s arbitrary exclusion of three students from campus for no clear reason and no clear procedure?’”

Both Fletcher and Paterson noted that the debate might have been different had it occurred in a confidential session, without the pressure of a majority pro-strike gallery.

“I think it’s fine that [the motion] didn’t pass,” Paterson said.

“I think the point was to voice our concerns and air our problems, and actually give them some weight … I think that’s what we’ve done. Passing doesn’t matter.”

Pedneault noted that he will continue to support the strike and the Quebec student movement against tuition increases.

“If the censure motion had passed, I think I still would have been able to walk with my head high,” he said. “I don’t see myself as having committed anything wrong, overstepping any boundaries or going against SSMU mandates.”

bers of SSMU, who must be from at least four faculties or schools (with no more than 50 per cent of signatures coming from any one faculty or school). According to speakers of council Nida Nizam and Michael Tong, eight councillors signed the petition for the GA. Adam Winer, one of the undersigned councillors on the petition, said that the movers of the petition had decided to withdraw it.

“The GA would likely have revolved around a student strike, although no motion, to my knowledge, was submitted to that effect before the cancellation of the GA,” Winer said.

SSMU President Maggie Knight noted that the speakers did not receive further interest in submitting a strike motion.

“There was no concerted effort to create a strike motion,” Knight said. “And the speakers had not received any other indication of interest in submitting motions.”

SSMU VP External Joël Pedneault suggested a reason for the lack of interest in a SSMU strike motion for the GA. “At SSMU, even if there’s massive turnout it’s always going to be a small proportion of the [student body],” he said. “I feel like people preferred [holding GAs] at the department or faculty level.”

A ‘yes’ vote on a strike motion would have enabled all undergraduates at the downtown campus to go on strike, joining the more than 200,000 Quebec students currently on strike in protest against the Quebec government’s planned tuition increases.

Aside from the fact that no motions were submitted, there were other concerns that led to the cancellation, including the difficulty of finding a practical location and time for an assembly of this size. “[The 500 person quorum] is larger than any space available in the SSMU Building,” Knight said.

“I believe the petitioners ... wanted to establish a date and time where

it was possible to book other spaces on campus, as it is difficult to book multiple large lecture halls at short notice.”

Student responses to the planned General Assembly were also taken into account when deciding to withdraw the petition.

“Some students had raised concerns about the timing of the GA falling at a very academically heavy point in the semester,” Knight said.

“The special General Assembly would have been an excellent way to encourage student dialogue on the strike and any other topic,” Shyam Patel, VP Finance and Operations, added. “However, the time constraint was not ideal.”

CAMPUS

Mac campus issues heard at third Open Forum Dean Manfredi led discussion on free speech, protest, and security at Mac campus Erica Friesen and Carolina Millán Ronchetti News Editors On March 27, Dean of Arts Christopher Manfredi held the third of four open fora at Macdonald Campus. In addition to a group of about 30 attendees, most of whom were faculty members and staff, Provost Anthony Masi and Deputy-Provost (Student Life and Learning) Morton Mendelson were also present.

The Open Forum project was mandated by Principal Heather Munroe-Blum following Dean of Law Daniel Jutras’ report on the events of Nov. 10. In his report, Jutras recommended the creation of activities that would allow the McGill community to debate “the meaning and scope of the rights of free expression and peaceful assembly on campus,” as well as issues like the securitization of the university.

“I know in a bucolic atmosphere like Mac campus these may seem like downtown issues—protests, picketing and various activities like that,” Manfredi said as he opened the discussion. “But it seems to me that it’s important to get the views of the entire university community, which includes Mac campus. And Mac campus may in fact have its own issues around these lines that we’re not aware of.”

Manfredi asked whether there

were any areas in Macdonald campus that are particularly vulnerable and should perhaps be out of bounds for protesting. A professor who could not be identified noted that the greenhouses should be out of bounds, as sensitive research going on there, on issues like genetic engineering, might be compromised by disruptions or alterations of the space.

Some professors noted that the tone of McGill MRO’s have not been conducive to dialogue.

“As a professor you felt caught in the middle between the colleagues that we felt very close to and the university’s position,” Tim Johnson, professor of dietetics and nutrition, said. “And the messages we got via email set a tone that certainly made me feel like I better not speak out on an issue like this. This dampens our enthusiasm to express ourselves on a number of issues.”

Manfredi brought up the securitization of campus and alluded to the security issues of Macdonald campus, including recent attacks on homosexual students. Professor Carolyn Begg expressed concerns that the community was notified of the attacks seven hours after they occurred, noting that community members often worked late at night. “[The issue is] security on the campus—it’s almost the opposite problem [as in the downtown cam-

pus],” she said. “There’s a lot of access, and it’s about my personal security, not from students, but from outside people.”

George McCourt, a professor with the McGill school of environment, suggested that the intimate environment provided by Macdonald campus means that students view their relationship to the university community differently than students at the downtown campus.

“I think there’s more of a [sense of] community out here, [whereas] the students downtown see themselves as anonymous,” he said. “When you’re anonymous [or] you’re having a conversation with someone who’s anonymous, I think your reaction is quite different than out here when you’re having a conversation with a student.”

According to McCourt, this sense of anonymity could lead some students, such as the Nov. 10 occupiers of the James Administration Building, to use more radical tactics to have their voices heard. Manfredi then asked the audience what could be done to lessen the sense of anonymity at the downtown campus.

Begg said that one of the reasons Macdonald campus has such a strong sense of community is because professors engage with students on levels outside of the lecture hall—for example, by becoming involved with student groups.

Gary Pekeles, director of the McGill University Health Centre’s Northern and Native Child Health Program, suggested that part of the reason Macdonald campus has a strong sense of community is because their small size and population makes the campus much more manageable than the downtown campus. “[At the downtown campus] there is variability within day-to-day encounters and the intimacy of those encounters, but somehow, within the dynamics of the large strike in particular, there is a dampening of that effect that doesn’t exist here [at Macdonald campus] because of our isolation,” he said.

Much of the forum focused on the terminology associated with the university community. According to Associate Vice-Principal Jim Nicell, one of the main problems facing McGill is how the university sees its own role in the community.

“We’ve evolved to be more and more of a rule-based organization, and there’s a sense that we need to get the rules right so we can get everybody organized, and then all we have to do is behave by the rules,” he said. “But once we get a set of rules, life becomes black and white, and I don’t think the issues we’re talking about are really black and white.”

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CITY

Student mobilize in four-pronged protest Demonstration highlights government statement against use of masks in participative democracy Erica Friesen News Editor Last Thursday, March 29, a four-pronged student demonstration wound its way through downtown Montreal in a festively themed demonstration that aimed to disrupt the economic activity of the downtown area and highlight several political grievances of the students.

The protest, called Manifestation la Grande Mascarade, was organized by la Fédération Universitaire et Collégiale des Étudiant-es Révolté-es (FUC*ER), and promoted by the Coalition Large de l’Association pour la Solidarite syndicale etudiante (CLASSE).

Organized around the concept of a masked ball, the protest was divided into four groups with each assigned a specific colour and a specific issue to criticize tuition fee increases, police brutality, strike— breaking tactics, and the non-representative stance of several Quebec student unions during the student strike.

In accordance with the masquerade theme of the protest, many participants wore colourful masks and costumes, drawing on the French tradition of the “charivari.”

“In popular contexts, the charivari was a moment when villagers donned costumes and masks and heckled a person in their home in order to criticize their conduct,” CLASSE’s announcement of the event said. “[This protest] will re-

Multi-coloured approach raises awareness of student concerns. (Michael Paolucci / McGill Tribune) appropriate this practice by invading the heart of Montreal in order to paralyze the economic and governmental elite, who are deemed illegitimate and harmful for the community.”

Starting around noon in Phillips Square, the protest split into the four groups, which headed in different directions around the city’s downtown. Protesters were largely peaceful, singing, chanting, and playing instruments to attract the attention of bystanders.

“We’re trying to protest in a festive way, without violence,” Steve Melanson, a protester and teacher at the CEGEP Regional De Lanaudière à L’assomption, said. “The violence

is symbolic in the way we dress. In the old times, when a family did something wrong, [people] did not go to that family and attack them, but they’d go in front of their house and make noise and sing something … So it’s a symbolic protest.”

Some protesters also overturned construction signs or moved objects on the sidewalk into the middle of the street. Many storeowners and observers smiled or applauded as the demonstration passed along main streets like St. Catherine and Sherbrooke.

Around 2:30 p.m., the four groups converged at Place des Arts, before moving to Université du Québec à Montréal (UQAM), where

protestors played music, danced, and burned an effigy of Quebec Premier Jean Charest.

In addition to the tradition of the charivari, some protesters pointed the masquerade theme as a response to Montreal Mayor Gérald Tremblay’s recent comments about the use of masks in protests. Tremblay said he was “disgusted” by the violence of the March 15 anti-police brutality march, which included an overturned police car, damage to several stores along St. Catherine, and over 200 arrests.

“If people want to demonstrate and have legitimate demands, no administration has done more to promote participative democracy,” he

said in a press conference after the anti-police brutality protest. “That said, I take for granted that people who want to demonstrate can do so with their faces uncovered.”

In 2009, the Service de police de la Ville de Montreal (SPVM) asked that Montreal create an antimask law, but the law was never adopted because of concerns that it infringed on personal freedoms. Other cities like New York, however, have and enforce anti-mask laws.

Tremblay has announced that Montreal’s public security commission will be investigating every aspect of public demonstrations, including the use of masks, in an effort to prevent the recurrence of violent incidences like those of the anti-police brutality march.

Protestor and UQAM student Guy Benoit-Fournel said that the idea of prosecuting student protestors for wearing masks would be problematic.

“Wearing a mask can be a form of expression, which is covered under freedom of expression,” he said. “If you tried to put this in the regulation of the city, you would give an arbitrary power to the police to decide whether someone wearing a mask is legal or not … And in the criminal code, if you cover your identity to commit a criminal infraction it’s already a crime, so there is no need for [this regulation].”

CITY

Montreal’s Inter-Tribal Youth Centre closes indefinitely Centre addressing needs of aboriginal youth shut down due to lack of government funding Julia Chu Contributor The Inter-Tribal Youth Centre (ITYC) was closed indefinitely on Friday, March 30 due to funding shortages. The ITYC was located in the basement of its parent organisation, the Native Friendship Centre of Montreal (NFCM), and together they constituted the frontline in sheltering Montreal’s urban aboriginal community. The ITYC was the only aboriginal centre available in Montreal to address the needs of aboriginal youth, and offered services ranging from healthcare to cultural development.

ITYC assistant co-ordinator Erin Montour explained that the centre provides programs including life skills development, goal-setting,

leadership development, and cultural development.

“These activities have been pivotal in allowing our youth to reach their goals and succeed in their lives,” Montour said. “Our centre is an essential space where youth can make ties with their community in urban Montreal. Our closure is a devastating loss for the well-being of our youth.”

The closure of the ITYC is a consequence of a large structural change that has been occurring in stages since September 2011, when the NFCM was subject to investigation by federal funding authorities. This investigation was carried out in addition to management and administration-related issues of the Aboriginal Friendship Centre Program (AFCP), a nation-level opera-

tion which oversees the operations of affiliated provincial/territorial associations and Aboriginal Friendship Centres such as the NFCM. Authorities cited inconsistencies with established national AFCP criteria and guidelines, and the operations of AFCP were subsequently transferred to the Aboriginal Affairs and Northern Development Canada, effective April 1, 2012.

These national shifts in management and administration eventually led to a decision by the Provincial-Territorial Association and the Regroupement des centres d’amitié autochtones du Québec (RCAAQ) to suspend NFCM’s provincial membership, limiting the centre’s access to AFCP’s core funding of $171,237 for the fiscal year of 20112012 and beyond. The decision es-

sentially terminates NFCM’s operations—including the ITYC. “The implications and impact in terms of cultural loss and access to programming and basic services … are particularly serious for Montreal’s urban native community,” NFCM’s executive director Brett Pineau said.

In an effort to reverse the effects of RCAAQ’s decisions, the NFCM are organising a letter-writing campaign, as well as circulating petitions to reinstate funding for the centre. Allan Vicaire, the project coordinator on the Aboriginal Sustainability Project supported by the Social Equity and Diversity Education (SEDE) of McGill University, wrote a letter to RCAAQ to support NFCM’s cause.

“The Native Friendship Centre

of Montreal and Inter-Tribal Youth Centre are valued partners in our efforts to foster awareness of aboriginal issues on McGill campus and throughout the Montreal Community,” Vicaire wrote in the letter to the president, executive director and members of the RCAAQ. “As part of our obligation to sustain local aboriginal presence and maintain a vital community, I ask you to reconsider your decision to cease funding for [NFCM and ITYC].”

NFCM is also organizing community mobilization and action, with a Grassroots Day of Action and Mobilization planned at their centre on Thursday, April 4 from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m.

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SPEAKER

Seminar discusses sexual slavery in Asia during WWII Movie and discussion emphasized the need for modern-day recognition of comfort women’s plight Nadia Abramson Contributor Last Friday, March 30, the McGill Golden Key Society and the East Asian Students’ Association hosted “Sexual Slavery and the Asian Holocaust: A Seminar on the Comfort Women Issue in East Asia.”

McGill East Asian studies professors Brian Bergstrom and Adrienne Hurley provided historical background and demonstrated the importance of the ongoing issues facing “comfort women.”

These comfort women were the thousands of women from Korea, China, and other Asian nations were forced into sexual slavery by the Japanese military during World War II. The women were forced to travel across Asia, offering sexual gratification to Japanese soldiers. Male visitors lined up outside of comfort camps to repeatedly rape women as young as 12, assaults that resulted in venereal disease, injury, and death.

The system was conducted under the official supervision of the Japanese government, a reality that

modern-day Japanese officials continue to ignore. Ever since Jan. 8, 1992, a group of the 61 registered survivors in South Korea meet every Wednesday on the steps of the Japanese Embassy in Seoul to protest these atrocities that occurred over half a century ago. “[The] Japanese have been firm on this issue,” Hyun-Soo Lim, Golden Key member and the leading co-ordinator of the McGill Comfort Women Lecture said. “The idea of shame for them is very different from Western or Korean culture.

You would think apologizing would be a way to deal with that guilt, but that would implicate their ancestors, which is disrespectful.”

Surviving comfort women, or “grandmas,” as their supporters prefer to call them, do not think that cultural sensitivity is a valid excuse for crimes against humanity.

During the early 1990s, the women took their case to the international community, asking the International Criminal Court (ICC) and the UN Human Rights Commission to pressure the Japanese government with an official ruling on the com-

fort women issue. In 1995, the UN Commission and numerous other international bodies agreed that the Japanese should offer compensation and issue an official apology for their involvement in the recruitment and rape of these women.

As of today, over 20 years after the grandmas started protesting for an apology, there has still been no compensation or apology made.

Japanese officials avoid the issue, stating that suffering is a natural part of war, and that rape is an inevitable occurrence in these circumstances.

“If the goal of having certain rules is to prevent harm, whose perception of harm is recognized as valid?” Hurley asked.

During the seminar, students could participate in a silent auction for a lunch date with McGill professors to raise money for the ShimTuh shelter in Korea, a home that provides assistance for the surviving Korean comfort women. Twentytwo professors volunteered from all faculties, including law, medicine, political science, and philosophy.

Although this seminar emphasized the specific issue of Japanese

Brian Bergstrom discusses comfort women. (Alexandra Allaire / McGill Tribune) comfort women, it also aimed to place the decades-old issue into a modern perspective.

“This seminar is not just about the past, it’s about connecting these issues to today,” Lim explained.

“This is the same system of injustice and silence that perpetuates all these crimes. We want a full, round picture that connects all similar international issues.”

In the introduction of the seminar, attendees viewed a short movie that included interviews with some of the survivors. One woman warned that Japan’s avoidance of the

issue sets a dangerous precedent for similar situations in other countries.

Students who attended the seminar appreciated the opportunity to broaden their understanding of the Second World War. “I had read about the rape of Nanjing, but I didn’t know much about comfort women,” Golden Key member Juliette Chausson said.

“Usually when people talk about World War II, they focus on the Western Holocaust and don’t talk about Asia. [The seminar] was really eye-opening.”

CAMPUS

Qatar donates $1.25 million to Islamic Studies Institute Gift commemorating the 60th anniversary of the Institute will be used for events and graduate funding Jimmy Lou Contributor On Monday, March 26, Qatar’s Ambassador to Canada Salem Al-Shafi announced a sizable donation of $1.25 million to McGill University and its Institute of Islamic Studies, in commemoration of the institute’s 60th anniversary this year.

Announced during Al-Shafi’s visit to McGill on behalf of the State of Qatar last week, the gift will be used to assist the institute in furthering the understanding of Islamic history and culture.

McGill’s Institute of Islamic Studies was established in 1952. In a statement released by McGill University, Al-Shafi praised the institute for its historic role in advancing research concerning the people, history, and civilization of the Islamic world.

“The institute shares our vision that knowledge and education are key to [meeting] the challenges of our changing world and [providing] the tools to better understand the ever-evolving relationship between religion and mankind and how it has contributed to our well-being and the coexistence of peoples,” he said.

Up until this point, the insti-

tute did not have a formal relationship with the State of Qatar, but the Institute of Islamic Studies has received many large donations in its 60 years of existence. Foundations such as the Rockefeller Foundation and Ford Foundation contributed large donations during the institute’s early years to support learning and teaching in the program. More recently, the State of Kuwait donated $350,000 to fund scholarships and prizes at the undergraduate and graduate level for students in Islamic studies programs in 2007.

“The success of the Institute of Islamic Studies is important to the State of Qatar because they share an interest in expanding the knowledge of … Islamic religion and culture,” Administrative Assistant Andrew Staples said on behalf of Professor Jamil Ragep, Director of the Institute of Islamic Studies. “The international reputation of the Institute of Islamic Studies is well known in the field and the institute is recognized for its unique character in focusing on more than just one region or facet of Islam.”

At present, the institute’s program offers training in Arabic, Persian, Turkish, and Urdu languages to both undergraduate and graduate

McGill’s prestigious Institute of Islamic Studies was established in 1952. (Simon Poitrimolt / McGill Tribune) students. Its strengths range from pre-colonial Islamic history, philosophy, theology, and law to Islam in South Asia, Ottoman and Turkish Studies, and Arabic and Persian literature.

The diversity of students’ ethnicity provides an international atmosphere that facilitates learning and active cultural interactions.

Some of its most successful PhD

graduates have landed top-ranking academic jobs at North American institutions such as Harvard, Yale, and Princeton as well as many leading Canadian universities.

According to representatives of the institute, this funding will be used to fund conferences, events, and cultural expositions, such as Islamic art and music, in 2012-2013.

In addition, a portion of the money

will be set aside for graduate student funding so that the program can better sustain itself and support its students in the future.

“The institute is excited about this gift and how it will be used to celebrate both the 60 years of the institute’s existence and beyond, as it will continue to fund graduate students’ education into the future,” Staples said.

opinion

Tribune The McGill

www.mcgilltribune.com

Editor-in-Chief Shannon Kimball editor@mcgilltribune.com Managing Editors Kyla Mandel kmandel@mcgilltribune.com Ryan Taylor rtaylor@mcgilltribune.com

editorial

Production Manager Iain Macdonald imacdonald@mcgilltribune.com

Why motion to censure Pedneault was a bad call Last Thursday, March 29, a motion was submitted to SSMU council proposing to censure SSMU’s VP External, Joël Pedneault. The motion, moved by nine council members, only narrowly failed to pass, with a vote of 11 for, 11 against, and one abstention.

The Tribune believes the nine movers of the motion were unwise to use the tactic of censure as a means to discipline Pedneault. A motion to censure does not exactly help to create a stable atmosphere at SSMU, and such a close result will be very unhelpful in assuaging the increasingly prevalent political polarization on campus. Had the motion passed, it would surely have had a negative effect on student politics. A censure of Pedneault would have caused resentment from many students who believe he is doing his best to represent their interests, and would have placed a great strain on the rest of the SSMU executives.

Had such negative politics not happened before, a motion for censure might have been more forgiveable. However, a similar motion was brought forth just last year, and to disastrous effect. The motion to impeach former SSMU President

Zach Newburgh­—regardless of the motion’s legitimacy—induced an atmosphere lacking in co-operation among the executives for the remainder of the year. [Editor’s note: Zach Newburgh sits on the TPS Board of Directors.] The movers of the censure motion therefore failed to learn from past mistakes.

In addition, the motion itself was grounded on some dubious foundations. Some reasons may have been based on understandable concerns, but the use of a censure is a disproportionate and overtly public reaction to something that could have stayed more low key and constructive. Certainly, the Tribune agrees with the motion’s movers that Pedneault’s decision to allow members of the Coalition Large de l’Association pour la Solidarité Syndicale étudiante (CLASSE), the organisation behind the Quebec-wide student strike, after-hours access to the SSMU office was an inappropriate use of the VP External’s authority. We hold this view because of the fact that SSMU is neither a member of CLASSE nor on strike, and such perks should be reserved for McGill students and organizations.

Yet some reasons were not fair

and not accurate. A motion to censure is a means to sort out a constitutional technicality, a punitive measure to deal with members of the SSMU executive inexcusably overstepping their mandate. Indeed, criticising Pedneault’s participation in the strike and his active involvement on the picket lines of other universities in Montreal is misguided. Considering the other Montreal universities are currently on strike, where else is a VP External, McGill’s liason officer with other Quebec universities, supposed to liase with our fellow Quebec students—something that constitutes an essential part of his mandate—other than on the picket lines? Moreover, the movers are not respecting Pednault’s right as an individual to participate in the Quebec-wide student strike. As a student representative for McGill, it does make it more difficult for him to do this, but it is not incompatible for him to represent McGill interests during his day job, and his own when he is not on the clock.

Furthermore, the movers were unfair to cite the administration’s exclusion of Pedneault from the university campus for five days as a reason for censure. Surely the exclu-

sion is a punishment in itself. The motion is merely seeking to punish Pedneault for getting punished.

One co-author claimed that the she was satisfied with the result because the aim was partly to voice concerns. Using the possibility of punishment of a VP to facilitate a discussion is inappropriate. We would not be surprised if future executives failed to fulfill their mandates for fear that any misstep— which should be addressed privately first—may result in a censure.

Therefore the Tribune believes that the motion to censure Pedneault was not well thought out, and was an excessively inflammatory means to sort out a problem that could have been far better solved through persuasive discretion. Had a more discrete means already been repeatedly tried to no avail, it would have been a different story, but it was also up to the motion’s movers to make this clear. As they did not, they come across as going against Pedneault for reasons of complaints with ideology rather than the more just reason for motions, that of a technical complaint.

commentary Mourning the loss of Katimavik Canadian identity has always been elusive; like a tentative adolescent, Canada seems unable to definitively grasp a self-image that resonates. But Canada, I sympathize.

At only 21, I am more than familiar with that wrenching internal tension, swinging between the desire to conform while desperately seeking my own niche.

Luckily for me, however, I had the opportunity to step away from all of those stresses that make finding an identity so difficult. Pressure to succeed in school and choose a career path, family expectations, and the suffocating high school reputation all washed away when I stepped onto the airplane to embark on my journey with Katimavik.

Let me digress for a moment to clarify. ‘Katimavik’ has been a bit of a buzzword in Canadian media these

past few days. Axed on March 29 by the federal budget, there has been a small whirlwind of online petitions, commentary, and tweets opposing the federal government’s move.

Katimavik is a federally-funded program aimed at promoting civic engagement in youth, ages 17-21.

Each Katimavik group is composed of 11 youths from across the country, representing the geographic, socio-economic and ethnic diversity of Canadians. For six months, these young Canadians live and volunteer together at a variety of community development projects across the country. The federal government cut the program, citing its new austerity measures and “excessive per-person costs.”

It has been almost two years since I completed Katimavik, and I still am still reaping the benefits of the program. In the few months I spent in Katimavik, I worked at an animal shelter, volunteered at a seniors home, helped co-ordinate other volunteers at a youth community center, and participated in

News Editors Erica Friesen and Carolina Millán Ronchetti news@mcgilltribune.com Opinion Editor Richard Martyn-Hemphill opinion@mcgilltribune.com Science & Technology Editor Anand Bery scitech@mcgilltribune.com Arts & Entertainment Editor Nick Petrillo arts@mcgilltribune.com Sports Editors Steven Lampert and Christopher Nardi sports@mcgilltribune.com Photo Editor Sam Reynolds photo@mcgilltribune.com Senior Design Editor Kathleen Jolly kjolly@mcgilltribune.com Design Editor Susanne Wang design@mcgilltribune.com Online Editor Victor Temprano online@mcgilltribune.com Copy Editor Marri Lynn Knadle copy@mcgilltribune.com Advertising Manager Corina Sferdenschi cpm@ssmu.mcgill.ca Publisher Chad Ronalds

TPS Board of Directors

James Gilman (Chair): chair@mcgilltribune.com Johanu Botha, Kathleen Jolly, Shannon Kimball, Iain Macdonald, Alex Middleton, Zach Newburgh

Contributors

Nadia Abramson, Alexandra Allaire, Hrant Bardajikan, Ilia Blinderman, Noah Caldwell-Rafferty, Julia Chu, Laura Douglas, Trevor Drummond, Josh Freedman, Christy Frost, James Gilman, Alex Knoll, Jimmy Lou, Michael Paolucci, Simon Poitrimolt, Josh Prizant, Vanessa Salvo, Tara Richter Smith,

Tribune Offices

a literacy program at a francophone elementary school. Beyond the actual volunteer placements, I got an education unlike any academic institution could offer. From the mundane—learning to balance a household budget—to the exceptional— managing ethnically charged interpersonal conflicts—I grew more as an individual in the few months I spent in Katimavik than in my entire high school career. Perhaps most significantly, through Katimavik, I met other Canadians whose tireless work to better their community, contagious optimism, and unconditional generosity have left an indelible impression on me, and have fundamentally shaped who I am and who I aspire to be.

Despite the success of my particular experience, and the bitterness I feel knowing that other young Canadians will not have such an incredible opportunity, this isn’t just about Katimavik. This isn’t even just about the annual budget or adversarial, partisan politics. Canada is at a pivotal moment in deciding how

it wants to be perceived both internationally and by its own citizens.

Beyond political rhetoric or token symbols, true Canadian values are reflected in the policies we choose.

Over Katimavik’s 30-plus years of operation we have seen the tens of thousands of youth travel the country, contribute to local community development, and take the time to reflect on their values to make an informed choice about who they want to be and how they want to contribute. Canada is on the cusp of the same decision, and we need to collectively choose what kind of country we want to build. If Canadians agree that Katimavik no longer has a place in our society, I can abide by that choice. But we need to be aware that the recent decisions made by our federal government reflect more than just mundane number crunching; these are the decisions that inform who we are as Canadians. The time for tentative adolescence is past.

–Alex Neville

Editorial Shatner University Centre Suite 110, 3480 McTavish Montreal, QC H3A 1X9 T: 514.398.6789

Advertising Brown Student Building Suite 1200, 3600 McTavish Montreal, QC H3A 1Y2 T: 514.398.6835 F: 514.398.7490 The McGill Tribune is an editorially autonomous newspaper published by the Société de Publication de la Tribune, a student society of McGill University. The content of this publication is the sole responsibility of The McGill Tribune and the Société de Publication de la Tribune. and does not necessarily represent the views of McGill University. Letters to the editor may be sent to editor@mcgilltribune.com and must include the contributor’s name, program and year and contact information. Letters should be kept under 300 words and submitted only to the Tribune. Submissions judged by the Tribune Publication Society to be libellous, sexist, racist, homophobic or solely promotional in nature will not be published. The Tribune reserves the right to edit all contributions. Editorials are decided upon and written by the editorial board. All other opinions are strictly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the McGill Tribune, its editors or its staff. Please recycle this newspaper.

columnists On the record James Gilman

jgilman@mcgilltribune.com

McGillLeaks are not worth a legal crusade Last month the anonymous group “McGillLeaks” published confidential documents from McGill’s office of Development and Alumni Relations. The administration has been seriously investigating the leak, even bringing in the police to help. Their response has been aggressive and effective, and the “McGillLeaks” website was quickly taken down. The university’s lawyers also sent letters to a

Chronicles of a Curioso Tara Richter Smith

trichtersmith@mcgilltribune.com

Fighting for Internet freedom on two fronts Never mind that public opposition shut down internet regulation laws SOPA and PIPA in the United States. Never mind that protestors in the European Union managed to delay the progress of their version, ACTA, through the courts so that (knowing European bureaucracy) the law may never in fact be enacted. Now it’s Canada’s turn to try to weasel punitive Internet laws through parliament that censor users and infringe on personal privacy. Oh Harper, you sneaky one, you.

The two parliamentary bills are C-11 and C-30. While C-11 is benignly called the Copyright Mod-

Compass Rose

Noah Caldwell-Rafferty

noahcr@mcgilltribune.com

U.S. university applications process is far from ideal Four years ago I sat down in my living room with a middle-aged woman who upon first impressions seemed kind and respectful. It was my Yale entrance interview. Palms sweaty and nerves high, I plodded through the first 25 minutes before she stopped me and said, “You’re not being very articulate, you know.” Needless to say, I didn’t get in. I’m not telling this anecdote just to humiliate myself. Rather, the

number of individuals and media organizations, including the Daily Publication Society (which publishes the Daily and le Délit), asking them to delete any references to the leaked documents as well as to remove links to the now-defunct site.

The administration’s treatment of the DPS sparked a debate over the proper balance between an organization’s right to protect its privacy and the media’s freedom to publish stories dealing with leaked information. The DPS argues that since the Daily was not involved in stealing the confidential information, they aren’t legally prohibited from publishing stories on the documents once they’re made public.

The question of whether media outlets are allowed to use this information, even though it was made public illegally, could have been settled in the courts. Unfortunately,

the DPS simply wouldn’t be able to sustain a lengthy legal battle with McGill. The DPS might have a case, but the courts have generally looked at these sorts of “media freedom” issues on a case-by-case basis.

The common sense, and hopefully the legal, standard for these cases is whether stories based on leaked documents contribute valuable information to the public. For example, if a government or organization is engaged in illegal behaviour, then reporting using illegally leaked information can be justified, and both media organizations and whistleblowers should be legally protected. However, publishing stories based on stolen information simply for the sake of transparency, without any greater purpose, is not justified and, preferably, editors would keep such stories out.

The “McGillLeaks” case seems

to be the latter. The leaked documents contained mainly personal information about donors. Some may argue that we all have the right to know this information. We don’t.

They may also argue that the “McGillLeaks” documents reveal unethical behaviour by the university, and therefore reporting on them is justified. I don’t agree with this, and McGill certainly doesn’t. But, ideally, a court would decide who is right.

However, the Daily decided to comply with some of McGill’s demands by removing links to the “McGillLeaks” site and refraining from publishing material on the content of the documents. This was the right call. The “McGillLeaks” information just isn’t worth it. There wasn’t anything shocking or overly contentious in there. This may be a matter of principle for the DPS, and it would be interesting to see how

much freedom media outlets have to publish stories based on illegally obtained information, but they would be foolish to risk so much in this case.

Of course, the worst that should happen to the DPS is that they are forced to remove any stories on “McGillLeaks.” The Daily did not steal the documents, and we’re only talking about whether they have the right to publish stories based on them only once they’ve been made public. Whoever leaked or stole these documents is the real culprit here, and hopefully McGill’s investigation will identify them. The content of the documents did not justify making them public, and whoever is responsible is not a heroic whistleblower, just a thief.

ernization Act, C-30 has a catchier title: the Protecting Children from Internet Predators Act. According to Public Safety Minister’s Vic Toews, you “either stand with us or with the child pornographers.” There’s no question here about who the good guys are. Society, myself included, generally disapproves of child pornographers. According to Mr. Toews’ ultimatum, however, I will have to stand with the child pornographers on this one.

The majority of Canadians, according to an Angus Reid poll, also stand with the child pornographers, and for good reason: naming this bill the “Protecting Children from Internet Predators Act” is misleading, if not a flat-out lie. C-30, from what I understand, has less to do with cracking down on Internet predators than creating an Orwellian surveillance system. The bill includes a provision that allows the government to force Internet providers to disclose subscriber data without a warrant. These data are not simply names, addresses, and phone num-

bers, which the government already has. We’re talking about our email addresses, email and text message content, what websites we’ve visited, and what digital transactions like uploading and downloading we’ve made. And since global positioning systems have built-in tracking devices, police would be able to— again, without a warrant—activate these devices and find you, wherever you are, to figure out what you’re doing, whenever you’re doing it. If this isn’t Big Brother watching you, I don’t know what is.

Ironically, as this bill has been proposed by the Conservative government, the province that is offended most by warrantless citizen-stalking is Alberta, which, with its love of beef, oil, and conservatism, has always reminded me of the Canadian version of Texas. I find Alberta’s opposition to the bill comforting: if the most Conservative province in Canada does not support these acts, why is Harper’s government proposing it?

Scarily enough, if the govern-

ment doesn’t pass these acts, Big Brother will still be watching us, just from a more capitalist platform. We are already user-profiled and monitored by social media giants like Google and Facebook. Google being the largest of my concerns, I recently deleted my entire account, losing Youtube and my blog in the process, only to discover that the smartphone I use for web-browsing purposes is an Android, which also belongs to Google. I comfort myself with the knowledge that Androids are composed of non-official open-source software, but the reality is that I really can’t escape Google’s clutches.

They know where I am, whenever they want to.

Apparently this is for my convenience. Google has now secured a patent on a novel technology that allows them to monitor and broadcast environmental data from my phone.

The idea, according to the patent document, is that if Google’s server discovers I am in the middle of Texas in summertime, I will receive a text message advertising air condi-

tioners. If I am caught in downpour, I will be directed towards the nearest umbrella stand. If I am facing frostbite in Montreal winter, Google will kindly remind me to buy a winter coat.

Convenience, according to this example, is terrifyingly intrusive. I know mobiles can already be traced, making C-30’s provisions for citizen stalking possible, but the idea of a constant communication loop between Google’s server and my mobile as part of an advertising scheme is creepy. We have a right to privacy. We should be able to send emails without governments peeking over our shoulders and we should be able to step outside with our phones without our steps being monitored by multi-million-dollar organizations. Public opposition to similar laws shut them down in the US and the EU, and as the Conservatives put forward these bills, it’s Canada’s turn to speak up.

comment serves to display the contrast between the student-university relationship in America and Canada—and the differences in what each side of the relationship expects from the other.

Differences can be seen almost immediately as the relationship is formed. The American entrance process has 17-year-olds shaking in their boots for the better part of a year. It is cause for momentous celebration when in late December the last of the “Submit” buttons are clicked. The litany of requirements for just one application can amount to three to five essays, an interview, recommendations from teachers, and letters from guidance counselors (on top of the SATs, SAT IIs, ACTs, and APs).

Not so for McGill. Yes, the

test scores are needed, but that was about it. If your GPA is good, welcome! And yet, the calibre of students at McGill is as high or higher than any American school, and McGill continues to produce some of the finest minds in North America.

This, then, begs the question, how arbitrary is the rigorous dog and pony show that has become American college admissions? And what is McGill doing right in their expectations of young aspiring academics?

The answer to these questions explains my nightmare of an Ivy League interview and highlights the benefits of the unique universitystudent relationship which McGill has created. The McGill model assumes the student is an untapped reserve. Their admissions process is an instigation of this model, a beck-

oning which is underpinned by the presumption that academic aspiration is brimming from every pore.

A sense of responsibility is instilled in the creation of this relationship, which is not incumbent upon the doctored presentation of a jaw-dropping second coming of Christ, nor is it decided through a nervous hour of chit-chat. Rather, the gumption behind such a student is assumed, placing full control and responsibility into the hands of the student once admitted.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with being thorough. American universities are the best in the world because of nit-picking. However, instilling responsibility and being given a token of trust, as McGill does, goes a lot further than telling an aspiring academic that life is

about a never-ending demonstration of perfection, a beauty pageant from which we cannot run. It is this kind of attitude which breads pressure and anxiety—and which prompted 20 Long Island students to pay others to take their SATs for them, effectively ending their academic credibility before it got off the ground.

Despite what it looks like, this isn’t retribution for the smug interviewer’s comments. Rather, this column should serve to remind us all of the unique power bestowed upon us

by McGill, where we’re treated as masters of our own destiny. There is an unprecedented amount of animosity toward the administration right now; as well-placed as such criticism may be, let’s not allow it to subsume the bigger picture. Of all places, we’re lucky to be here.

Student Living

odds and ends

Millions participate in sixth annual Earth Hour Logging out, switching off, and speaking up to raise awareness for environmental sustainability Kyla Mandel Managing Editor I bet that if you gave me three guesses, I would be able to tell you what you did this past Saturday night. Eat? Drink? Turned your lights off for an hour for Earth Hour? I’m sure all of you were dedicated environmentalists, and made sure that no matter where you were, you turned the lights out, lit some candles, and contemplated issues such as melting glaciers and carbon emissions.

But if that wasn’t the way you spent your Saturday night, you probably checked Facebook or Twitter at least once. So, let me tell you a little bit about what happened that evening, and what social media has to do with it.

Saturday, March 31 at 8:30 p.m. was the sixth annual Earth Hour, which saw 150 countries and a staggering 6,494 towns and cities come together around the globe to embrace the darkness and raise awareness about climate change.

Starting in 2007, Earth Hour was organized by the World Wildlife Fund (WWF) in Sydney, Australia when 2.2 million individuals and 2,100 businesses participated in the hour of action. The following year, Toronto was the next city to join in the action, and shortly after an additional 35 countries and roughly 400 cities decided to tag along.

Each year more and more cities and people have joined the global Earth

Cross on Mount Royal, CN Tower among Canadian landmarks turned off for Earth Hour 2012. (ikedaspa.com, wikia.com) Hour event.

Scheduling it for the last Saturday of every March allows the event to occur around the equinox, meaning that as the hour ticks closer, it will be dark in most cities, making the blackout an effective statement.

In addition, world-renowned landmarks such as the Sydney Opera House and the Eiffel Tower turn off their lights for a dramatic change of pace. Some notable additions this year included the International Space Station and the UN Secretary

General’s office, according to Earth Hour website.

511 cities participated across Canada this year and landmarks such as the CN Tower, Niagara Falls, and Montreal’s Cross on Mount Royal all shut off their lights for the hour.

“Many of these iconic buildings, monuments, and places are lit up at night. People look to them as sources of identity, as touchstones of belonging and meaning. Turning lights off on Angkor, the Acropolis, or the Sydney Opera House among

others is a strong symbol. A symbol to help us see the world differently,” UNESCO Director-General Irina Bokova said.

Across Asia, records have been broken and social media has helped play a crucial role in increased participation. Not only did ‘Happy Earth Hour’ become the world’s number one trend on Twitter by the time Southeast Asia turned off the lights, but in India an MTV Unplugged concert held in New Delhi was powered with alternative energy

and owed its massive turnout to social media networks. In China, hundreds of university students gathered at the Great Wall of China to show their support for the environment, and according to the Twitter account of the U.S. Embassy in Seoul, 74,502 buildings in South Korea turned off their lights for Earth Hour.

“Social media is not just connecting the world but is becoming the primary organizing tool for citizens to take action. People from over 150 countries across the globe are harnessing the power of online platforms to physically care for the future of the planet,” Earth Hour Co-Founder and Executive Director Andy Ridley said in a press release on April 1, 2012.

So, while some argue that turning off the lights doesn’t do anything substantial to fight climate change, the point isn’t just to reduce carbon emissions during that one hour.

The global effort to band together and visually display commitment is a symbolic action, demonstrating that the world must act if it wants to preserve the environment for future generations.

“Turning off our lights is a symbol of our commitment to sustainable energy for all,” said UN Secretary General, Ban Ki-moon in a recorded public message. “We need to fuel our future with clean, efficient, and affordable energy. By acting together today, we can power a brighter tomorrow.”

top ten

Reasons why you should study outside this spring All the excuses you need to skip the library and get some fresh air while you work Jacqui Galbraith Features Editor 1. Sunlight is a proven mood enhancer. When you’re getting large doses of sunshine, your body creates vitamin D, which helps prevent osteoporosis, some forms of cancer, and depression, among other things.

After months of winter cold and gloom, the sheer contrast of a warm, sunny day might be all that’s needed to cheer you up.

2. Fresh air helps improve focus and concentration. Campus libraries can get incredibly stuffy when the temperature soars outside, leaving you overheated and drowsy.

Even if it’s a humid day outside, an occasional breeze will come along and perk you back up should you find yourself sliding into a heat induced stupor.

3. Studying outdoors is more social. It’s way easier to get together a group of friends to head down to lower field with some books than it is to round up a library contingent.

Once you get to the library, it can be difficult to study as a group, given the atmosphere.

4. You can work on your base tan while you study. What better way to multi task than to soak up some rays while analyzing the philosophical and moral implications of the meat industry? Throw on your favourite pair of shorts, grab your flip flops, sunscreen, and sunglasses, and give a classic beach day a productive twist.

5. It’s more interesting to people watch outside than in the library.

In a library, everyone is so absorbed in their own work that they really aren’t doing anything interesting.

Outside, the scenery is ever-changing, as people constantly walk past, absorbed in a myriad of interesting conversations. So when you need a break from studying you can watch people throwing around a Frisbee, or sitting down to eat. No matter what little distraction you prefer, it’s a much more dynamic environment than the library.

6. You can eat outside; you can’t eat in the library. All that studying is bound to work up an appetite, which in the library means you’re out of luck. Unless you have superior food sneaking skills, or you’re willing to take a break from studying, working outside is your best bet.

You can munch on fruit or a granola bar while still working through your readings, therefore maximizing efficiency. Who doesn’t love a picnic?

7. You don’t feel as over-

whelmed by your work because you keep your perspective when you study outside. It’s easier to take small breaks to keep your focus from completely giving out rather than suffering a burn out from working five straight hours in the library.

There’s nothing better than taking a quick snooze in the sun!

8. Studying outside provides you with natural light. Studies have shown that natural light is better to read by than artificial light, and results in fewer headaches. We all know that gross feeling when you’ve been staring at the same computer screen for hours, and think that you couldn’t possibly read any more. Studying outside gives you all the light you need, and keeps your attention from fizzling too quickly.

9. You can sit or lie in more positions outside than you can in the

library or at a desk (unless you’re a bed studier). All you need is a simple blanket and a tree to lean against, and you have a whole new world of possibilities. You want to lie on your stomach? No problem. Or on your back and balance your books on your knees? Go ahead. After all, creative sitting positions equal creative essay ideas. You can’t argue with that logic.

10. You don’t have to fight for space outside as much as you do in a library. There is more of the outdoors to go around than there are desks in a library. Sure, everyone else might want to study outside too, but there are plenty of great spots all around campus and downtown to set up shop. You could try Forbes field, the Redpath museum steps, or the patio space at the Second Cup on Parc, just to name a few.

Chronicle L'Autoroute 720

Published by the Mov Squad Volume No. 1 Issue No. 1

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

How not to put out a fire (Page 13)

BREAKING NEWS: Leeks surface with McGill Spring

Disclaimer: Leeks and vegetables do not support any political ideologies. The editors of this (fake) newspaper liked the colour contrast. (Count Reynolds / L’Autoroute 720 Chronicle)

PROPAGANDA news

U1 student epiphany

Philosophy student understands the world Baron von Knadle Kopie Edetur Garth Ray, a U1 philosophy student, has recently acquired Internet attention for his controversial claim that he understands the world, and knows how to fix its problems.

Ray says a Tumblr post that describes “only the tip of the piñata” of his revolutionary theory has been reblogged over 25 times. “That’s more than any other original content on my Tumblr,” said Ray of his website, which features Instagram pictures and grocery lists in addition to posts discussing philosophy.

The student described his theory as a “new type of -ology, somewhere between eschatology and epistemology and probably ontology too.”

Ray said he is considering dropping out of McGill’s philosophy program because it is moving too slowly to keep up with his newly-developed theories.

“The lectures weren’t updated to include the personal model of reality I developed,” Ray said. “That’s a real indicator of McGill’s so-called

quality.”

The student expressed no concern over the future course of his education in the event of his leaving McGill.

However, Ray did express some concern that his theories may be too advanced for the world to understand.

“I realized that after I got a C on my last philosophy paper,” Ray said. “It’s obvious that the professor, who’s supposedly highly educated, and who I won’t name out of peer respect, just didn’t get where I was coming from. I’m too intersectional.”

Ray is dismissive of the negative feedback he’s received in the form of comments on his blog in addition to his poor grades. He said the negative attitude is a defensive tactic generated out of fear, and it’s a downside that all the great minds of history have had to contend with.

He suggested that people read up thoroughly on Wikipedia and Timecube.com in order to prepare to live in an intellectual world dominated by his “groundbreaking metaphysics.”

s

r e p o o l GA B

DJ Joël not in da hausse! (Count Reynolds / l’Autoroute 720 Chronicle)

Somebody needs an iPad. (Count Reynolds / l’Autoroute 720 Chronicle)

interview

Principal XYZ occupies l’Autoroute 720 Chronicle office Knits scarf in exchange for stolen pantsuits Your Editor-in-Chief Supreme Leader

Upon inspection of her on-campus walk-in closet, following the sixth-floor occupation of the Community Square Building, Principal XYZ noticed that eight of her designer pantsuits were missing. XYZ retaliated by occupying the offices of this (fake) newspaper, located at the underpass of l’Autoroute 720 near Chemin Glen.

The principal arrived unannounced, physically assaulting the garbage can/security guard of the offices. The garbage can was unavail-

able for comment. According to the single L720C staff member present at the underpass, the principal demanded the return of her pantsuits.

She offered a hand-knit scarf in return.

“I don’t understand why she came here,” said the staff member, who wished to remain anonymous.

“Our newspaper didn’t even exist during the occupation. We’re being unfairly targeted.”

He added that while he wouldn’t mind being banned from campus, such a ban would negatively affect samosa sales.

He did, however, sympathize

with XYZ’s predicament, and then offered her some fresh samosas.

XYZ declined, and sat on the pavement. After repeatedly expressing that he had no ability to return the pantsuits he didn’t have, XYZ said she would mobilize other senior administrators to sit on the pavement, too.

Tension arose when the principal realized that the underpass was a mobile phone deadzone. When the internet on the her Blackberry failed to load, she protested that her right to Internet had been violated.

“The Internet is a human right!” she exclaimed.

When asked to prioritize her demands, XYZ didn’t have to think for long.

“Free education is a human right, but I need my Armani for the board meetings. I need to show that I mean business. And that I have a great tailor.”

“She’s a lot more reasonable than people realize, but she’s also kind of unreasonable in other ways,” the L720C staffer said. “And this scarf is awesome. I always wondered what she does all day. She’s totally an expert knitter.”

Needing to get back to work, XYZ ceased occupying the under-

pass, although she was worried about the long-term implications of the theft.

“If this keeps up, Hillary Rodham Clinton (HRC) will have a huge edge on me in our rivalry for the Vogue cover,” she said as she flagged down a Green Campus shuttle, which does, indeed have wifi.

The L720C reporter then proceeded to fry some samosas.

RENT-A-BODYGUARD Now available, rent a 7 foot tall 300 pound man guaranteed to remove anyone obstructing your path to class.

Our way or the highway. |

More PROPAGANDA

NEWS

Cup noodle hausses cause a stir

Price increases leave students feeling soggy Duke von Iain L’Autoroute Master Over three million students across Quebec are on strike against the recent increase in the price of cup noodles. The deliciously affordable treats will increase in price from 82 cents a bowl to 84 cents a bowl next year. However, given Ottawa’s recent decision to scrap the penny, prices will probably rise as high as 85 cents per bowl.

The price increase was announced last October, shortly following a report released by researchers at La Universitaire de la Nourriture sur la Club 737 (LUNC(h)). The report suggested that consuming cup noodles in bulk leads to many students gaining weight.

“Cup noodles are not very nutritious, but because of their low price, many students eat them every day,” the report read. “Often this results in students becoming ridiculously, absurdly fat.”

In an effort to combat the incredible unhealthiness of cup noodles, many companies that produce cup noodles have opted for a healthier formula which extends the nutritional value of the treat to include vitamins A, and C, iron, and generally fewer carcinogens. Making these modifications would place the industry under tighter budgetary restrictions. Many cup noodle

manufacturers are already billions of dollars in debt.

“It’s really necessary for us to stop running billion dollar deficits each year,” John Campbell’s, a spokesperson for Les Nouilles Sur La Coupe, a Quebecois large cup noodle producing company said.

“This new formula isn’t cheaper to manufacture either, so we have to account for those costs.”

Many students across the province are outraged at the increase in price though.

“This is insane,” said Sam Dan, a McGill U8 theoretical yoga student said. “Food is a human right, and it should be free like all other human rights. The government should really regulate the cost of food in this province so that my parents can budget accordingly.”

Rallies in Montreal have turned violent recently, with over 60 students arrested and charged for nutrition-related crimes.

“We were just trying to have a peas-ful protest when the police showed up,” said Jean Sandwiches, a CEGEP student at College Brebouef. “Then the police showed up and asked us if we wanted any fresh ground pepper spray.”

Students insist they aren’t backing down on the issue, and their primary goal is to keep all food accessible.

“We would really like cup noo-

dles to be free, and right at the front of the grocery store near the gum,” U3 Linguine-istics students Robert Frasier-LaPerrier said. “The U.S. gives free food away as foreign aid, so why can’t Canada give us free food?”

The only students in the province not striking are enrolled in McSlurpies’ College of Nutrition.

“I think maybe we’re the only ones who realize how disgusting cup noodles really are,” Mike Berger, spokesperson for the Federation of Observants of Nutrition (FOOD) said. “They have less nutritional value than the chair you’re sitting on.”

Students in other studies don’t always agree with Berger, and are happy to protest in opposition.

“I eat whatever I can find really,” said Michael Appleseed, a PhD candidate in Financial Planning, said. “If it’s cup noodles, or three-week old Provigo lettuce, fine, I don’t care. It’s not really important what I eat, as long as it’s free.”

There is no clear end in sight for the strikes, with neither students nor cup noodle manufacturers backing down.

Like Adam Smith said, “We’re ready to do whatever it takes for the free lunch we’re entitled to,” Appleseed said. “At least until hockey season starts up again.”

| Tuesday, April 3, 2012

11

NEWS

Prof upset over no chili pepper on RateMyProfs Duke von Iain L’Autoroute Master McGill professor Jean Smith is questioning the legitimacy of the popular website RateMyProfessors.com after discovering that he doesn’t have a chili pepper rating on the website, which indicates percieved “hotness.”

“I do my best to come to class everyday in my finest sweater vest,” he said. “Even in the middle of winter I was routinely underdressing to try and look hot for my students.”

Smith teaches Introduction to Theoretical Fundamentals of Philosophical Stuff, PHIL 455, and has been a full professor at McGill for five years. He says that he spends at least as much effort on looking good each day as he does on preparing for the lectures themselves.

“You have these stoners walking in to class everyday in baggy jeans, a T-shirt full of holes, and hair that hasn’t been washed since MUNACA went on strike, and they’re telling me that I’m the one who looks bad?” he said.

Smith, an admirer of Rick Santorum’s style, owns 54 sweater vests, and has not once worn jeans to class.

One of Smith’s students, who wished to remain anonymous, commented on Smith’s appearance.

“Look, the chili pepper is really reserved for hot—no, smoking hot profs,” she said. “You have to be careful when you’re giving out the chili pepper, because it can really go to a prof’s head.”

The student pointed to the case of Professor Leud Kauntakt, a Russian-born history professor who obtained chili pepper status after her first semester at McGill.

“She showed up at McGill looking ... hot, I’ll say it,” the student said. “But once she got that chilli pepper, she started wearing sweatpants to class. She looked worse than a hungover New Rez kid.”

The student said Smith simply didn’t earn the chili pepper rating, in her mind.

“I see the chili pepper and I ask myself, would I pick him up at Korova?” she said. “I admire Smith’s intellect, but those sweater vests have to go.”

Smith said he hopes to revamp his look and try again next year.

“Maybe I’ll get some of those hipster glasses without the lenses and a new haircut,” he said. “I think some skinny jeans could really pull everything together. Or a scarf.

Yeah, that’d be hot.”

NEWS

NUMAKA worker swept away in Fleuve McTavish Returns to find strike, but the wrong one Le Duc de Beri Truth Editor A NUMAKA worker swept away by the McTavish Flood in early September has resurfaced months later to find campus in a radically (no pun intended) different state of political turmoil.

Robert Gelinas, a support worker in Information Technology Services, was picketing at the McTavish entrance to campus on the bright morning of Sept. 9 when 500 gallons of water from a watermain leak (see “Concrete rain a growing problem in Montreal”) sent him flying, or, um, flowing, all the way across town. At the time, some strikers suggested that the popular picketing spot was targeted.

Little is known about Gelinas’ wherabouts in the time since he was swept away. There were reported

sightings of him, soaking wet, staining the leather couch in Mikael De Rippa’s office in late December.

McGill’s SWAT team was allegedly called.

Upon his arrival back on campus just last week, Gelinas noted being utterly perplexed by the change in picketing.

“The buttons have been replaced by these odd red pieces of felt,” he said. “And where are my fellow strikers?”

I explained that the picketers were students striking for lower tuition.

“Is this some sort of joke?” he asked. “We were on strike for our livelihoods and our futures.”

The cycle of heated rhetoric in public emails, people banned from campus, (see, “What the *bleep* is an injunction and other useless words I learned from the NUMAKA

Stepping stones to higher ground. (Count Reynolds / l’Autoroute 720 Chronicle) president”) bear an uncanny similarity to events on campus in early fall 2011. At least NUMAKA didn’t try

to publicly censure their VP. Then again, it’s not like they consulted with many of their members.

For most McGillians, it’s hard to imagine a time when some part of campus wasn’t on strike.

12

Tuesday, April 3, 2012 |

so much propaganda

| Our way or the highway.

interview

Exclusive interview with Mov Squad founder # discusses Mov Squad’s mission, goals, and samosanization of campus Duke von Iain L’Autoroute Master The l’Autoroute 720 Chronicle sat down with the founder of the Mov Squad—formerly known as [REDACTED], now operating under the pseudonym #, to talk about the squad’s formation, mission, and views on different campus issues.

[Editor’s note: # is also the Chief Founding Executive Content Officer of Information, Technology, Finance and Operations, and Samosa Sales of the l’Autoroute 720 Chronicle.]

MT: So, #, can you tell us a bit about the Mov Squad? #: We formed the Mov Squad to try and combat some of the other squads roaming around campus.

You have the Mob Squad, now the Mod Squad (Editor’s note: the ModPAC), and there’s also the SSMU itself, which is just a glorified squad occupying the Shatner Building.

Anyways, I formed the Mov Squad to combat these other squads. Our mission is really to mobilize in solidarity with different causes. That mission is really tough to achieve though, because when you’re standing you can’t possibly be mobile.

It’s really a bacon or sausage kind of deal, so we have to strike a balance between mobilizing and standing in solidarity, which is sort of a very slow crouching-tiger-hidden-dragon walk. We’re also very engaged in a new movement known as ‘solitairity,’ which is where fellow squadders

play solitaire in support of a cause.

MT: Can you explain your political stances a bit? #: We’re generally against a lot of things. Some people describe a political spectrum from left to centre to right. Others even say there are two dimensions, like social liberals with fiscal conservative beliefs. We find this simplification pretty disgusting. We like to think of a political hyperspace in four dimensions.

Our political stance is then very far away from liberalism, conservatism, Marxism, or any other isms. To use an analogy, consider politics to be like answering a multiple choice exam. Liberals answer these questions one way, and conservatives answer them the other. We wipe our a** with the paper and hand it in like that.

MT: Can you comment on some specific stances you take? #: We’re very much in favour of corporations. We very very very very strongly dislike any person who is not a member of the squad. I don’t like to use the word hate because that has certain connotations, but it’s a good word for what we feel. But it’s not what we feel, just to be clear.

We’re really against these tuition increases, but we’re also very much against tuition decreasing. I know I’ve been budgeting to get a Wii for years, and if they change the tuition next year I’m going to be in a spot where I don’t know if I can

Protestor fires up his arsenal

# spells out his name while sporting the Mov Squad’s symbollic blue triangle. (Count Reynolds / l’Autoroute 720 Chronicle) afford it, or if I can, I might have to choose between getting an extra WiiMote, or Wii Fitness, and that’s very distressing to me.

Another one of the big, but largely ignored issues is the samosanization of campus. Clubs or organizations have samosa sales, but they don’t consult anyone beforehand.

We recommend a minimum of 80 consultative forums and general assemblies in advance of any samosa sale to figure out logistics like where it will be held, what day it will be, and how many samosas there will be. Many clubs don’t do this though, so we run an underground e-mail

list to share when samosa sales are going down, so other Mov Squadders can gorge themselves on the deliciously dangerous treats. Ideally we’ll catch these sales and clean them out before anyone else even knows they’re happening.

MT: You mentioned the other squads roaming around campus.

How do you guys distinguish yourselves from these ‘political imposters’? #: That’s definitely a point of contention. Everyone has their own cause these days. You have the green buttons for NUMAKA,

Unicorns are real!

“It’s a party, not a protest.”

the red squares—those are against showering, right? Then there are the people with the white squares which I think means they live in New Rez, but it might be Carrefour. Our thing is we like to decorate ourselves with Christmas ornaments. Usually 20 or 30 will suffice, but it should be enough that you’re easily recognizable by fellow squadders. This subtle signal helps us identify each other when we’re doing undercover work at a strategic summit or investigating samosa sale potential in Shatner.

Photos by Count Reynolds

Health

Students report sudden color-blindness after mobilization Colours and shapes confuse and disorient students The Princess of Mandel Minion #1 This past week the McGill health clinic saw unprecedented line ups as confused students reported cases of sudden colour-blindness.

“I was just so confused when I attended the AUS GA suddenly all the red felt squares turned white,” Julie Stevens, U4 art history student, said.

At first Stevens tried to ignore it, but as the days continued, the problem didn’t go away. “My condition got worse, especially on March 22 when I stopped seeing the squares altogether,” Stevens explained.

Coincidentally, March 22 saw an influx of students reporting the same sudden colour-blindness as

Stevens. McGill security was called to the scene due to rumours of a potential health clinic occupation.

Reported symptoms included only seeing white squares, and not seeing the squares at all. More severe cases reported constant ringing in their ears.

“All I could hear was a constant high-pitch hausse ringing sound,” Kyle Johnson, an anglophone U0 student, said. “I freaked out because I couldn’t hear my prof over this constant ‘hausse’ nonsense.”

An email sent out to the McGill community warned students not to look directly at the red squares.

“While we support students in their endeavors to look at whichever shaped objects they so desire, it has recently come to our attention that

some shapes may be detrimental to good order and we ask you to look with caution when you see felt in the shape of squares,” the email read.

“I’ve never seen a case like this in my whole career, let alone multiple cases,” Nancy McHeely, McGill health clinic worker and leading pseudo-kinetic-anomaly expert, said. “The combination of auditory and visual symptoms could occur when a person’s sensory system has been constantly and repeatedly inundated with the same experience, which in this case appears to be red felt squares.”

The body’s system physically rejects the image of the red square due to the sudden overwhelming frequencies with which they appeared on campus, McHeely explained.

McHeely hypothesized that seeing white was the initial symptom, and as the red squares continued to persist, the next stage of the yet-tobe-named condition was full visual rejection of the red square.

“I’m not sure what the ringing in the ears means, but I fear it can’t be good. Those students who suffer from the ringing have also been seen dedicatedly attending class and fully sequestered in the library regardless of the affliction. I worry they’ll suffer vitamin D deficiency along with retina-strain as they never step into daylight anymore.”

Alternately, students wearing the red squares never enter the classroom and receive plenty of vitamin D. “I’m not worried about their health, they’ve been seen enjoying

What color is this square? the outdoors, going for walks hours on end, as well as exercising their vocal chords in group sing-a-longs.

They’re the vibrant youth of tomorrow,” McHeely said.

Mining for gold to finance tuition hikes

“Ffffwwwwaaarrrrrgggghhhhhhhllllllllll”

Existential things The McGill’s student consultation guide to process

START Do you want to consult the McGill community on an issue?

YES

NO

YES

NO NO

END NO

Have you not heard of Community Square? Do you even attend McGill?

YES

YES Occupy a building.

Do you want to leave the library and actually learn about campus issues?

Do you want to consult McGill on how to do this?

YES Start blog

END

YES

Have you consulted people on the choice of location?

your

own

YES

Do you have an appropriate pseudonym?

YES

Do you think more radical action needs to be taken?

END

Go on strike.

Return to daily life knowing you will never be famous within the McGill bubble.

campus

Montreal’s hippest new nightclub

ENGL 001 the most exclusive event in town, bouncers cite mandate to keep students out at all times, and are instructed by DESA to not let anyone in. The bouncers are also encouraged to wear scarves if it’s chilly outside, as leather jackets and Canada Goose products are prohibited.

“We have a [one-strike and you’re out] mandate from DESA,” said one of the bouncers. “We’re not allowing anyone in.”

When asked if they had ever been in the club, both bouncers said they hadn’t.

“I usually don’t get up this early,” said one. “But when they offered me the chance to keep others from going too, I jumped at the opportunity.”

As no one has yet to enter the club, rumors abound as to what exactly is inside. From an entire ice palace, to a full-scale beach, complete with sand, to a simple room

NO

with chairs and desks, suggestions run wild.

“I’m sure it’s amazing,” said one hopeful attendee. “I mean, it’s gotta be if these skinny hipsters are trying to keep me out. I’m gonna get in one day.”

For now, the inside is left to speculation, as visitors are repeatedly turned away.

“I guess I’ll just go sit outside or something,” said one discouraged young woman.

“I’m probably gonna hit up Subway,” said another.

The organizer of the party crowd instructed everyone to meet outside to “discuss their feelings about being turned away, and other things too.” She added that they would try again next week.

Hold your discussion. Were you satisfied with the result?

YES NO I don’t believe you.

END Are you afraid of leaving the safe space of campus?

Keep attending class, graduate on time, but remain uniformed and disgruntled about the issues on campus.

END NO

YES

Be outraged about the lack of student space. Do you want to hold an open forum on this?

YES

Do you want to start an anonymous website exposing the issues?

NO

YES

NO

END

When Montreal’s newest nightclub opened last Tuesday, few could have guessed just how short the guestlist would be for the grand opening. The bouncers reportedly let in zero people over the course of the day, citing a mandate to keep out all who tried to enter.

The club, ENGL 001, was opened by club promoter DESA, and runs out of a room in the Arts Building. ENGL 001 is open for a mere hour and a half on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The club caters to a younger crowd, but there were a few older faces trying to get in last week.

The tightly-run door of the club is controlled by two rather unintimidating bouncers. Both are required to wear skinny jeans and red squares

Can you reserve this location?

NO

Consult on location choice.

END

NO YES Do you want to hold a consultative discussion to decide your pseudonym?

Duke von Iain L’Autoroute Master

YES

NO

Is this because all the locations are currently occupied?

You are banned from campus for lack of political participation.

YES

By Princess of Mandel

NO

How could you have nothing to discuss in such pressing, controversial times?

NO

Congratulations, you are the 99 per cent. Do you have a location decided?

YES

Do you think more radical action needs to be taken?

NO

NO NO

Do you want to go on strike?

YES

YES Hold a strike GA. Did the strike vote pass?

NO Go on strike.

END

Punny Texts of the week Hey baby, would you let me Leningrad that behind?

She’s Stalin his heart

You Kant be out already?

And she’s Trotskying away with it

Sorry, but I’m feeling kind of Il

I just hope those two will be happy. Love is in the Voltaire

Also I hope you get well soon. Try some hot food, like Nietzsches and cheese

truth.

L'Autoroute 720

Chronicle www.mcgilltribune.com

Supreme Leader Your Editor-in-Chief Minions Princess of Mandel, Minion 1 Troubadour Taylor Minion 2 L’Autoroute Master Duke von Iain Truth Editor Sir Richard Crumpet Le Duc de Beri Muscle Editor Kernel Colonel Colonello Nardello Surveillance Editor Count Reynolds Kopie Edetur Baron von Knadle

Disclaimer

The text of this fictional newspaper represents no one, and was designed for purely satirical purposes. Any connection between real persons and events and articles in these pages are satirical and does not seek to negate serious causes. For a real newspaper, see pages 1-8 and 17-24 of the Tribune.

We ran out of content...

The only opinion that matters Destroying the penny: it just made cents On March 29, the Conservative federal government released its budget for the 2012-2013 year, which included many austerity measures in order to reduce Canada’s enormous fiscal deficit. Though many of those measures elicited strong reactions from Canadians, none created even a quarter of a shockwave as grand as the one from the announcement that the penny is bound to disappear.

The government cited several reasons for the elimination of the 136-year-old coin. First of all, every penny created costs the government 1.6 cents, so removing the penny from circulation will save the government up to $150 million annually. Considering that the penny was creating a deficit for the Canadian Mint, the government decided to unfreeze the value of the penny and adjust its worth.

“The measure is intended to adjust the value of the penny to what it was worth in 1968,” explained an anonymous source within government. “In this case, the penny was worth utterly nothing in 1968 because it’s a stupid coin.”

Secondly, the government admitted that eliminating the penny was a key first step in eventually removing an even greater ill in circulation in Canada: Nickelback. The Albertan rock band is often described as “a band so bad that only a Loony

could like them,” and ever since its inception in 1995, the government has been reducing the numbers of nickels in circulation, praying that the band would get the message.

Finally, the government announced that after retrieving all Canadian pennies, the Mint will melt them and create the first ever “penny suit” which they will give to Don Cherry as a retirement gift.

Whether the suit will be given once Cherry announces his retirement, or given to him in order to force him to retire after being crushed by the 1.5 tonne suit was not clear, though many would argue that Cherry’s

thoughts aren’t even worth a penny at this point.

Following the announcement, nearly all Canadians felt the need to express their two cents thoughts on the matter. Though the move has music fans across the world cheering for more, others feel betrayed by their government. “I feel like to those who voted for change, the government is officially replying: ‘screw you, we’re taking it away,’” a radical student from McGill University claimed. “A proper Marxist government would never do that to its people.”

The austerity measure was met

with much opposition in many CEGEPs in Quebec, such as UQAM and Vieux-Montreal. Upon hearing about the fate of the penny, the schools’ student bodies decided to fill a room with the closest red-clad students they could find, and immediately voted to go on unlimited student strike. “[Lots of French words, probably speaking about how unfair life is and how the government destroys lives,]” explained an UQAM representative. “We want our graduates to continue receiving tips at the coffee shops they work at, and pennies are an integral part of those tips.”

Considering these arguments, and the fact that we want McGill to stay as far away as possible from UQAM, the Chronicle believes that to keep the penny in circulation would be utterly cents-less. Apart from the fact that minting the penny leaves the government $11 million poorer every year, nobody actually likes having pennies in their pockets. Nobody likes having pennies in a jar either, and a penny for your thoughts is too cheap when you consider what we McGill students go through to obtain a McGill diploma.

So, Mr. Harper, the Tribune lauds you for your efforts to destroy the penny in order to save the Canadian economy. You are a dime a dozen.

VEry important person Sir Richard Crumpet

Truth Editor

The Crumpeteer’s Manifesto People expecting this article to be a whimsical and flippant one could not be more wrong; a crumpeteer does not conform to the petty confines of a “joke issue.” Rather, this article has a serious issue to bring to light. A grave and fearful symptom of societal malaise has come to my attention; one which I, as a radical crumpeteer, must do my best to treat by any means necessary. The problem is simple and grave: many Canadians do not know their crumpets from their scones!

For far too long I lived in denial

about this. I always knew something was deeply wrong; I knew there was ignorance, intolerance, and injustice—and yet I did nothing. I kidded myself into believing there was little that one man could do to bring about the Crumpet Revolution. I doubted that I could achieve anything against supermarkets dominated by cohorts of bagels and pita breads, against a society intent on forgetting the visions of a crumpet utopia.

Everything changed last Halloween. I was dressed impeccably, but no one had the foggiest idea of what my costume was. Soon I lost my temper. I had spent a lot of time and effort creating my costume and people still could not figure out that I was, quite clearly, dressed as a “slutty crumpet.” Even when informed of what my costume was, they proceeded to make horrendously scandalous remarks, with one girl suggesting that I should have brought whipped cream. I bellowed back at her that she was thinking of

scones, and that scones were better with clotted cream anyway, not whipped cream. I went into a frenzy—hurling the DJ off his decks, killing the music with a sharp rip, declaring ferociously to all before me that whipped cream on a crumpet is about as downright barbaric as maple syrup on a hotdog. It had begun: I had found my calling as a radical crumpeteer.

Any person lucky enough to have given their taste buds the honour and the privilege of a few tender moments of contact with a morcel of crumpet—that heavenly manna in earthly form—will say, with more jurisprudence than a supreme court judge, that a crumpeteer’s profession is a noble vocation. It is quite obvious that there is a conspiracy of English-muffinists, neo-croissantites, and sliced-breadians intent on keeping crumpets down. Crumpets are always stuffed on the bottom of the back shelves, oppressed by the baguettes, persecuted by the dan-

ishes. That is the real cause of our ignorance to the capricious wonders of the crumpet.

We must unite to crush this conspiracy, we must boycott baguettes and even waffles, we must seek out crumpets from their dark corners and buy them. There is no excuse for any of us not to. They are tax-free, delicious, and cheap; they take only a few minutes to make; they are vegan friendly (without the butter, of course), and they can come in gluten-free variety. They really are perfect. If Brad Pitt asked a girl who had tasted a crumpet if she would like to go back to his place “for a crumpet or two,” she would be more excited about the crumpets than anything else.

[Full disclosure: the author is the manipulative CEO of the conspiratorial international corporation, CP (Crum Petroleum)]

muscles

Amusement

The Grand Coverup of Canadian Cricket Investigative journalist unveils plot for world domination in time for tea Sir Richard Crumpet Truth Editor

The mention of Namibia does not seem to be generating the intense excitement I expected. When I ask Canadians whether they are looking forward to Canada Cricket’s international tour to Namibia this week, I am not getting a euphoric fist-pump of a yes in reply; instead, they tend to look puzzled and shake their heads, often confiding that they did not know Canada had a cricket team, and occasionally pointing out that they did not actually know where Namibia is. I concluded that most Canadians did not care about the valiant exploits of their cricket team, let alone what cricket even is.

What a damn shame.

Yet one friend I asked did not conform to this rule. He responded that he was very excited for Namibia. But then a strange thing happened: he caught himself like an actor delivering the wrong line of a script, and he attempted, with eyes shifting from side to side and with his face reddening, to say that he did

not know anything about Namibia.

Two men in suits and dark glasses came out of nowhere, and hurried over to where we were sitting. They claimed to be the uncles of my friend and quickly escorted him away.

I smelled a rat. The investigative journalist in me knew exactly what was going on here—a national cover up of Canadian cricket, And the investigative journalist in me would not stop until I had discovered why.

Trawling through the Canadian National Archives, I found some evidence which only added to the mystery of cricket’s low profile in Canada: first, Canada actually played the world’s first international cricket match in 1844, began over 30 years before the Ashes, the now-famous Test Cricket matchup between England and Australia; second, in 1867 cricket was named as the national sport of Canada by prime minister John A. Macdonald; third, Canada actually beat Australia, one of the world’s best teams at the time, as recently as 1974. At this point, a sinister-looking archivist interrupted my research, warning that if I did

not leave right away, “there would be trouble.”

Further research was hard to come by. I was trailed by men in suits, my apartment was searched, and my phone was tapped. Eventually I stumbled on the crucial information that put the jigsaw into place: Canada has won two cricket matches in World Cup history, one against Bangladesh in 2003, one against Kenya in 2011. However, the strange thing was, it almost seemed as if the other matches they played were close, but they underperformed. Suddenly it seemed obvious—Canadian cricket is part of a conspiracy for world cup domination. They are deliberately covering up their cricketing credentials by underplaying, allowing Canada to take the world by storm over the next few years, catching each team in their complacency, and sending Canada on in a glorious and unstoppable waltz to a World Cup triumph in 2015.

So be warned, world. Cricket Canada is planning global dominance, and it will all begin in Namibia.

Canadians have a secret love affair with cricket. (bp.blogspot.com) [Full disclosure: the author is a failed investigative journalist, des-

perate for any sort of publicity]

Intramural BASKETBALL — WETNation 48, CArtel 34

WetNation pulls off the intramural upset of the year Both sides’ NBA hopes shattered Jonathan Rosenbluth Intramural Enthusiast Eight screaming fans were on hand for the biggest upset of the B-league intramural playoffs thus far as 11th-seeded WetNation upset the sixth-seeded Cartel. The taps never ran dry on WetNation, as they were able to sustain their hot start throughout the game. Point guard Adam Taras had his best game of the season, and was the spark plug to start the game scoring 14 of his game-high 19 points in the first half.

After the game, team captain Reuben Rothstein applauded Taras’ efforts.

“He’s been dreaming about this for a long time. All the long hours he works on his jump shot and at the gym truly paid off.”

For the Cartel, the loss was quite difficult to handle. Having beaten WetNation twice during the regular season, it seemed as though the Cartel were expecting to waltz their way to an easy win.

Point guard, and captain, John Rotchtin acted with class even after the defeat.

“Looking up in the stands and seeing the three Cartel fans who came out to support us, I just had a nervous feeling in my gut. At the end of the day, we missed a major opportunity to make a run in the tournament, and even worse, we let down our fans.”

WetNation shooting guard, Steven Lampert, wasn’t surprised with the result.

“I knew we had it in us. We played our game and we came away with the victory. As my father once said to me, ‘never say never.’ I think we justified that saying tonight.”

It was clear that the Cartel was the more athletic team, as Marshall Slipp and Ross Burst are the catalysts for their fast break offence.

However, they were unable to translate that into steady points, and their normally high turnover defence did not create the transition opportunities they are used to seeing.

With nearly six minutes left in the game, it seemed that the Cartel were finally making a push and narrowed the lead to five points. Yet, repeated missed shots from in close doomed the Cartel to an early exit.

Cartel fans were dejected as they left

Love Competition Hall, but were proud of their team nonetheless.

Cartel superfan Jeremy Schipper summed up the emotions of the fans.

“While we are definitely disappointed right now, we are so proud of what our boys accomplished on and off the court. They are an integral part of the community and we know they will come back strong next year.”

While WetNation’s Elite Eight matchup was scheduled for the next day, they did not hold back in their postgame celebrations. Several team members were seen quite intoxicated at local clubs and bars. It was a joyous night for the squad, as, in classic WetNation style, the drinks were flowing. Players were signing autographs, taking pictures, and interacting with fans throughout the night.

Power forward Ari Newman commented on the atmosphere.

“It felt like we had won it all. It was a great night for our team, the program, and our fans. It was great to celebrate with our followers and feed off their energy.”

Alas, it seems like they may

WetNation could have used these kids against the Beer Hawks. (ning.com) have celebrated a little too hard.

WetNation came out flat the next day in their Elite Eight matchup against the Beer Hawks and lost by 20 points.

Even though their season ended, the statement victory against

the Cartel will be one that the players, and this program, will always remember.

Science & technology Gadgets

Study gadgets

Tips, and tools to get you through exams Iain Macdonald Production Manager With summer just around the corner, students are gearing up for one of the more stressful times of year—exams. While there’s nothing that can make your final exams completely pain-free, these gadgets might help you cope with them.

StayFocusd Studying was difficult before the age of distractions. Now, in the time of Internet and smartphones, it’s easier than ever to get sidetracked. StayFocusd is a plugin for Google’s Chrome browser which lets you control how much time you spend on procrastination sites, from Facebook to Reddit and Tumblr.

Simply install it and set your preferences.There are similar plugins available for Firefox, such as Leechblock. Of course, all of these tools require you to have the self-restraint to refrain from simply opening up another browser, but sometimes a gentle reminder that you’ve already spent four hours on Facebook today is enough to get you through the first lecture for your final tomorrow.

Alarm Clock XTreme Nothing is less fun than sleeping through an exam. Fortunately, there are applications you can download for your smartphone that are sure to wake you up on time.

Alarm Clock XTreme can be configured to force you to solve a math problem, or ten, when you wake up.

If division isn’t your forte, you can also configure the app to only turn off after being shaken vigorously.

Alarm Clock XTreme also lets you configure how many “snoozes” you can use, and how long each one lasts. Alarm Clock XTreme is only available for Android, and it seems that the math feature isn’t as widely available on iOS devices. The free version is supported by ads, or you can pay $2 for the ad-free version.

The Tribune is looking for an editor for the Science & Technology section for 2012-2013.

For more information contact editor@mcgilltribune.com

Google Calendar Time management is key to successful studying. Whatever your calendar or to-do application of choice is, use it religiously to schedule your study time, and keep track of when and where your exams are.

Google Calendar supports multiple different calendars, many different colours, and features the ability to invite others to events you’re hosting (study party, anyone?). Google Calendar synchronizes to your Google account, so that it’s updated with you wherever you have an Internet connection. Additionally, it sports a to-do list to keep track of all the lectures you need to catch up on.

The application is free to use.

While it might be easy to get distracted while studying, try to refrain, for the sake of your GPA. Hopefully, with the help of these tools, you can spend more time studying, and less time getting ready to study.

Meo Quidem Microsoft’s UEFI is anti-competitive Iain Macdonald Production Manager The difference between software and hardware has long been somewhat blurry. Software is a vital part in any computer system, from supercomputers to smart phones, yet the software on a device can be largely independent from the hardware. For now, consumers have the freedom to choose the software they would like to power their devices.

That might be about to change, though.

Almost all computers start up using a process which relies on the basic input/output system, or BIOS for short. The process involves a few steps. First, the processor must load

a special program from non-erasable memory. This program describes how to load another program from a special place on the computer’s hard disk. The processor then loads the program from the hard disk, which describes how to continue loading the operating system.

The BIOS system generally works well. Users can install any operating system on their computer by simply altering the program stored on the hard drive. But because the BIOS system is so simple, the boot process can be the target of malicious programs. By modifying the contents of the boot program stored on the hard drive, viruses can load themselves before the operating starts, thereby gaining control of the operating system, while remaining invisible. This is a major security concern.

To try and resolve this issue,

many vendors have agreed to phase out the BIOS system in favour of the Unified Extensible Firmware Interface firmware-to-software boot process, or UEFI for short. UEFI was developed years ago, and contains some impressive, though potentially restrictive improvements over its predecessor. One of the biggest changes is UEFI’s secure boot feature. With secure boot, the processor checks the program it loads from the hard drive before executing the second-stage loader. If the program is different from expected, the computer won’t start. This means that UEFI can be made to restrict which operating systems it will boot.

UEFI secure boot is a great improvement in the security of the boot process, but at great cost to user freedom. Secure boot makes it more difficult for users to install other operating systems and gives hardware

vendors unreasonable control over what software runs on the device.

Microsoft is one company that plans to take advantage of this by restricting the boot process on tablet computers they sell. Fortunately, they haven’t mentioned intentions to do this in the PC market.

Microsoft’s use of UEFI secure boot is an anti-competitive means of bundling their software with hardware. The company is familiar with piggybacking on near-monopolies.

In 1998, Microsoft was sued and found in violation of antitrust laws for abusing their monopoly in the operating systems market to promote Internet Explorer.

Apple has had a similar experience in being over-restrictive with its software. In 2010, U.S. courts declared Jailbreaking iPhones legal, in spite of Apple’s objections. Jailbreaking refers to the process where

a user’s privilege level is increased.

This allows users to install applications through sources other than the App Store. The ruling effectively said that it was unreasonable for Apple to control which applications could and could not be installed on an iPhone.

When I buy a new computer or tablet, I want the freedom to run whatever software I like on my device. I’m not renting the device from anyone—it belongs to me, and as long as I’m not using it for anything illegal, what I do with it is entirely my decision. UEFI isn’t a bad idea; it’s a brilliant improvement in a long outdated system. However, there need to be checks in place to prevent unnecessary restrictions on the user.

And, for now at least, regulation should keep hardware and software somewhat separate.

—Iain Macdonald

arts & entertainment film

Michael Glawogger’s Whores’ Glory delves into the abyss Austrian director’s detailed study of sex workers in Thailand, Bangladesh, and Mexico Ilia Blinderman Contributor Michael Glawogger’s documentaries have long demonstrated his fascination with the dark and gritty. The Austrian filmmaker has focused on the struggles of the impoverished who are forced to eke out a living, first examining how the indigent survive in the world’s largest cities (Megacities, 1998), before moving on to the study of the poorest, most desperate of manual labourers (Workingman’s Death, 2005). Completing this trilogy with Whores’ Glory, Glawogger opts for even greater circumstantial misery, and documents the practice of prostitution in Thailand, Bangladesh, and Mexico.

Almost immediately, one is struck by the dissonance between the subject matter and the score.

Glawogger shows us brothels and scantily dressed women in filthy, overcrowded landscapes. Songs

by Cocorosie and PJ Harvey accompany these bleak urban scenes, brusquely snapping the viewer out of a reverie of instinctive sympathy and revulsive disbelief, and into an amalgam of film noir grittiness mixed with the painfully strained sentimentality of a poor script. The audience is repeatedly reminded of this inconsistency throughout the Bangladeshi and Thai portions of the film, as if a sales tag were slapped onto the gravity of the situation. The portrayal of torment and anguish is

Whores’ Glory was filmed on location and depicts life within actual brothels. (www.docgeeks.com) not made any more poignant with the addition of a clever soundtrack, and the movie ends up hobbled by the score’s cheap Hollywood sentimentality.

Much of Whores’ Glory also suffers from a lack of continuity.

Throughout the filming in Bangladesh and Thailand, one has a palpable sense of being presented with a catalogue of life’s difficulties, disguised as art for art’s sake. Although there is some merit to depicting the events as they appeared—without

any auxiliary judgment on the filmmaker’s part—I expect that Glawogger, who gave four years to this movie, would have received some insights worthy of sharing in return.

Had he employed them to guide the audience’s understanding, much of

the film would have felt far more cohesive.

The final part of the documentary, shot in Mexico, somehow avoids these pitfalls. The score almost wholly disappears, with the music provided by a mariachi band that plays outside the large, low building housing the sex workers’ rooms. In addition, Glawogger limits the number of women he speaks to, examining their lives in more depth. This alone makes Glawogger’s project worthwhile.

The great strength of Whores’ Glory, however, lies in the filming.

At a recent Q&A, Glawogger explained that he spent many months in brothels in order to gain the trust of both the prostitutes and their regular “Johns.” Indeed, the film captures his subjects at a remarkable proximity. We not only see the array of human flesh through a panoramic pane of glass in an upmarket Bangkok brothel, where the customers make their selections, but we are also taken behind the glass, to hear the girls absentmindedly gossip as they wait for customers. In Bangladesh, the camera descends into the dizzying maze of prostitutes’ rooms, each one competing with the others for their daily keep; forcibly pulling their customers into their rooms, berated by their madam, and collapsing from exhaustion, all while under the weight of human poverty.

Glawogger gives us a wretched, pitiful sight to see. Be prepared.

Pop Rhetoric Stop it, Madonna Miami’s Ultra Music Festival is one of the biggest weekends on any electronic music fan’s calendar. The event brings together hundreds of the world’s most popular DJs and producers for three days of the best live sets electronic music has to offer, from A-Trak to Zedd. This year, the festival was livestreamed over YouTube, and more than 20,000 people tuned in. It was a huge success, and its popularity demonstrates electronic music’s growing appeal to a wider audience. It’s unfortunate, then, that a guest appearance by Madonna soured the experience for many.

Swedish DJ Avicii announced before his Saturday night set that he had a surprise guest lined up. Short-

ly after 11 p.m., an introduction video started playing on the main stage. The short clip detailed the inspiring rise of electronic music, with familiar faces like Avicii, David Guetta, and Carl Cox discussing its exploding popularity in America.

Then, Madonna took the stage and proceeded to undermine almost everything that had just been said.

Madonna greeted the crowd, stating “I can honestly say a DJ saved my life.” She then asked “How many people in this crowd have seen Molly?”—an obvious reference to ecstasy. She was wearing a shirt with the letters MDNA—the name of her new album—spelled out across the chest, which can be interpreted as a thinly veiled reference to ecstasy’s clinical name, MDMA. Madonna hung out on stage while

Avicii played his remix of her new track, “Girl Gone Wild.” Then, as if she hadn’t disrespected everyone enough already, she left.

It’s no secret that electronic music concerts are often incubators for drug use. However, it’s an image that many involved in the genre are trying to shed. As a fan, I don’t feel I need drugs to appreciate the music, and it’s upsetting to see people showing up to concerts with a bag full of pills but no idea what a 4/4 beat is. Drug usage at raves is a serious problem, and it should be treated as such by those who lead the genre.

What’s especially disappointing about Madonna’s overt drug references is that she is one of the artists who began building bridges between the underground house music communities and the mainstream, in-

corporating electronic elements into many of her songs in the 1990s and 2000s. After having such a positive influence on the genre, she’s now using it as a marketing tool. What’s more, Madonna is a mother of three.

I wonder if she would have acted the same way, urging people to buy her new album while making ambiguous comments about drug use, if her kids were in the crowd.

Canadian producer Deadmau5 picked up the ecstasy reference and blasted Madonna for it, calling her a “fucking idiot” via Twitter. The two settled their feud last week when Madonna tweeted a picture of herself wearing Mickey Mouse ears, with the text, “I was referring to the song called ‘Have You Seen Molly’ written by my friend Cedric Gervais.” Right, and I’d like you to

meet my friend Mary Jane who I just smoked on the race track.

It’s painfully awkward watching Madonna attempt to rebrand herself to appeal to a younger audience.

Her appearance at Ultra was clearly a marketing strategy, and a botched one at that. She needs to understand that while it’s possible to stay on top by continuously changing her image—something she has done in the past—she’s beginning to seem desperate. If a DJ really did save Madonna’s life, she owes them all a lot more respect.

—Iain Macdonald

Curiosity delivers. |

Arts & Entertainment

| Tuesday, April 3, 2012

19

visual art

Prémices/Open-Ended clever but vacant Manuel Mathieu’s new exhibit opens at the MAI Ilia Blinderman Contributor Manueal Mathieu’s Prémices/ Open-Ended, the solo exhibit by the young Haitian-born Montreal resident, comprises some dozen paintings dealing with the organic and mental reconstruction that follows a cataclysmic event.

Mathieu’s paintings depict scenes of a world violently squeezed into primordial swirls of aggression, inchoate shapes and forces, sometimes in an extension of the old, sometimes in conflict with their antecedents. This transmutation is not a step towards anything evil—from a frenzied clapperclawing creature, to what seems a somewhat lost hodgepodge of unformed will, passion, and nascent power. In one of the more memorable paintings, an anthropomorphic swirl of greens, reds, and blacks, with bared viceteeth, melts into a whirlpool of dark swathes. No surprise, from a man who has been compared to Francis Bacon.

Mathieu’s paintings are challenging to decipher. (Manuel Mathieu) In another, Mathieu cleverly plays with perspectives, depositing

a humanoid figure on a large plot of stark white, tilted below the perfunc-

tory desert backdrop of the painting.

The shape seems to ooze unctuously down the canvas in a curious, and, perhaps unintentional manner.

The majority of the paintings, however, neither galvanize one’s thoughts, nor spur emotions, nor help find any hint of truth. Despite my repeated attempts to engage with the pieces, I felt like I was approaching glib prints, as evocative only as the confusion within first few moments of seeing them, before I fully grasped what I was staring at. The swirls and eddies of paint lie silently on the canvas, as paint is wont to do before it is given a voice through some artistic enterprise. This is all the more unfortunate since Mathieu seems to possess something worth saying. While I may be wrong, I suspect the devastation left by the recent Haitian earthquake is the source of his thick, resolutely applied brushstrokes.

Without the exhibition’s obligatory description, distributed to the public in a pamphlet upon entry, it is difficult to orient oneself enough to

get much from the paintings. Thankfully, the show focuses on the description to a lesser degree than what has become the norm. The practice of describing the artist’s litany of intentions and thoughts subsumed by the creative process is now ubiquitous, and robs the gallery attendee of a singular pleasure. It is through this pleasure, which we acquire through visually tasting and digesting the work offered, that we achieve some manner of understanding and camaraderie with the artist. In reading a formulaic description, we are rewarded with a vacuum-sealed, ersatz satiety in regards to the piece, forgoing the necessary mental labour.

I am curious to see Mathieu progress over the next few years.

In the meantime though, give me Bacon.

Prémices/Open-Ended runs from May 5 (Tuesday—Saturday, 12-6 p.m.) at the MAI (3680 Rue Jeanne-Mance, Local 103)

film

Will Ferrell makes his return en español Actor takes on Gael García Bernal’s drug lord in telenovela spoof, Casa de Mi Padre Vanessa Salvo Contributor If the idea of Will Ferrell in a Spanish movie isn’t enough to pique one’s curiosity, how about an 84-minute spoof of Mexican drug cartels, soap operas, and foreign drama, all while breaking down the fourth wall between actor and audience?

Casa de Mi Padre is a film about dim-witted rancher Armando (Ferrell) and his brother Raul (Diego Luna), who is clearly their father’s favourite son. When Raul comes home to present his fiancé, Sonia (Génesis Rodríguez), Armando soon finds out that Raul is a drug dealer who is involved in a major territorial dispute with a Mexican drug gang, headed by the powerful drug lord Onza (Gael García Bernal).

The film opens up with a vivacious musical sequence featuring songstress Christina Aguilera, singing the film’s title song over the opening credits. The camera’s constant zooming in on her lips draws a clear connection with cult classic The Rocky Horror Picture Show, in which its opening credits famously

scroll over a pair of alluring lips singing the opening song. The film immediately begins by teasing the portrayal of Mexicans in popular culture with a scene in which Armando and his buddies ride their horses through wasteland, having what seems to be a very normal, dry conversation. And although English speakers would dismiss this conversation as small talk, the subtitles illuminate a discussion on how Armando isn’t as obsessed with women as he is with cattle. Were it not for the subtitles, one’s inability to understand the language might cause the viewer to take these conversations as flat and trivial, but they’re actually the same hilarious and absurd discussions that are classic elements of Will Ferrell films. The story feeds the audience with an exaggerated screenwriting style and the occasionally incomprehensible sentences that one comes to expect in Ferrell’s work, much like Ron Burgundy’s description of San Diego in Anchorman.

A unique aspect of this film is its awareness of the audience, most notably during a fight scene depicted entirely with a stuffed white tiger fighting a real coyote. Before the fighting ensues, the film cuts to

Casa de Mi Padre features classic Will Ferrell dialogue and absurdity. (www.brightestyoungthing.com) a note written to the audience by the second camera assistant, who apologizes for cutting the scene for a variety of hilarious reasons.

In terms of performances, Luna and Bernal set aside their dramatic acting experience, playing comedic roles with just the right amount of tongue-in-cheek sarcasm that is necessary for their outlandish roles. As one of the few gringos in the film,

Will Ferrell’s Spanish pronunciation is fantastic.

The writers understand the central purpose of the film: using Spanish-speaking actors to communicate various stereotypes to its Englishspeaking audience. The result is a unique and inventive comedy, but one might wonder what reaction Mexican audiences will have when the film opens there.

In the end, having an Englishspeaking audience pay to see a comedy that’s completely filmed in Spanish might seem slightly abnormal, but Will Ferrell demonstrates yet again that, if anybody is capable of making oddball concepts work, he possesses the comedic knack to make magic like this happen.

20

Tuesday, April 3, 2012 |

Arts & Entertainment

| Curiosity delivers.

You have one last chance to write for A&E before the end of the year!

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Great Lake Swimmers: New Wild Everywhere Fans of Great Lake Swimmers can stop holding their breath—the band has released New Wild Everywhere, their first release since 2009’s Lost Channels. The new tracks sound strangely familiar, as is the nature of Tony Dekker’s wonderfully peaceful voice, and with the exception of a few songs with feetstomping appeal (“Easy Come Easy Go,” “Changes with the Wind”), most of the album is a soothing and easy listen.

The album opens with “Think That You Might Be Wrong,” a quiet number rich with strings and lovely vocal harmonies. The title track “New Wild Everywhere” observes the dark side of nature and is probably the catchiest of the album.

Great Lake Swimmers have a history of recording in unique locations, including an abandoned grain silo and a lakeside church in Southern Ontario, but they ventured into a conventional recording studio for the majority of New Wild Everywhere. The one exception is “The Great Exhale,” which was recorded in the Lower Bay Station, an abandoned subway platform in Toronto (although it sounds as if it were recorded in a meadow of fresh flowers).

Ending the album is “Les Champs De Progeniture,” a French translation of a previous song on the record, “Fields of Progeny.” Though finishing with French lyrics is a bit peculiar, the song puts a nice ribbon on the overall folksy feel of the album.

New Wild Everywhere isn’t a big departure from the sound of their previous albums, but the stable familiarity of their music is comforting. Each new album offers a sense of security, and this one is no different.

ART DIRECTOR

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Nicki Minaj: Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded Though her 2010 debut Pink Friday was a ham-handed combination of rap lyrics mixed with pop hooks, Nicki Minaj’s latest release, Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded, is a more expansive look into her scatterbrained imagination, whose presence somehow feels even more abrasive this time around.

Starting with her hectic delivery on “Roman Reloaded,” which zigzags between short-of-breath word association and aggressive, maniacal faux-Brit vocals, the track introduces Roman Zolanski, her alter ego of sorts. Fearing that her persona lacked a certain element of mystique, the Zolanski character pops in and out briefly, yet the true mystery here is why Minaj would dedicate the album to such a minor and silly premise.

Minaj’s total embrace of her own wackiness means that songs similar in sound to her previous pop hits are given comparatively less attention here. The odds of radio-friendly filler tracks like “Starships” and “Automatic” achieving the same level of success as “Super Bass” and “Check it Out” are slim to none; her dance songs only go through the motions of synth-infused bubblegum pop and then dismiss themselves accordingly.

Her artistic focus rests solely on creating a hyperactive and wacky caricature of herself, and in doing so, she has essentially boxed herself within these confines. It’s a gimmick that gets old pretty fast, though perhaps in moderation it could be more tolerable.

Nicki Minaj has never cared much for profundity; nor should we expect any. If Roman Reloaded accomplishes anything, it will let the world know that, try as she may, her music is more fun when the wackiness isn’t forced.

—Nick Petrillo

NEWSPAPERS:

I GOT MY MONEY’S WORTH

—Alex Knoll

SPORTS tOP TEN CANADIAN OLYMPIC HOPEFULS

FOR LONDON 2012

BY Steven lampert

1. Adam van Koeverden – Kayaking

Likely Canada's strongest Olympic hopeful, van Koeverden is the reigning world champion in the K-1 1000m, and is a candidate to win a medal in the K-1500m as well.

2. Carol Huynh – Wrestling

Huynh is the defending Olympic gold medalist in the 48 kg freestyle wrestling division, and heads to London as the 2011 Pan Am Games champion.

3. Dylan Armstrong – Shot put

Canadian shot putter Dylan Armstrong will aim for his first Olympic medal, after earning a silver medal at the 2011 IAAF World Championships.

4. Mary Spencer – Boxing

Women's boxing will

Around the

make its inaugural appearance as an Olympic event in London, and Spencer is considered the favourite, having already won three past World Championship titles.

5. Tara Whitten – Cycling

Whitten is a former cross-country skier, and specializes in the Omnium cycling event, winning the gold medal at the 2010 UCI Track Cycling World Championships.

6. Karine Sergerie – Taekwondo

Since winning the silver medal at the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games, Sergerie took home bronze in the lightweight division at the 2011 Wold Taekwondo Championships.

7. Annamay Pierse – Swimming

The 2008-2009 CIS female athlete of the year, Pierse is the current world

W

ater cooler

In case you were too busy trying to reclaim the Iron Throne, here’s what you missed this past week in the world of sports ...

NCAA BASKETBALL — March Madness wrapped up this past weekend, as New Orleans played host to the Final Four. The fa-

voured Kentucky Wildcats took care of business on Saturday by defeating Louisville 69-61. The game was closer than many expected, but Ken-

record holder in the 200m long course breaststroke.

8. Emilie Heymans – Diving

Heymans is Canada's strongest women's diver, and looks to repeat her 2008 Beijing silver medal performance in the 10m platform.

9. Alexandre Despatie – Diving

One of Canada's most successful male divers, Despatie has won silver medals in the 3m springboard at the past two Olympic Games.

10. Priscilla Lopes-Schliep – Hurdler

While she is often cast under Perdita Felicien's shadow, Lopes-Schliep gives Canada its best chance to earn a medal in the 100m hurdles, after winning a bronze medal at the event in Beijing.

Congratulations to the McGill Redmen rugby team for defeating Harvard 41-30, capturing the 33rd Covo Cup!

Harvard, the

McGill of America.

Last chance for glory. write for the final issue of sports

sports@mcgilltribune.com

Image sources: lessignets.com, vervegirl.com, usaswimming.com, twenty12olympics.com, gunghaggis.com, harryjerome.com, wikimedia. org, canada.com, windsorstar.com, macleans. com, zimbio.

tucky received huge contributions from national player of the year, Anthony Davis, who finished the game with 18 points, 14 rebounds, and five blocks. By being awarded the nation’s top player honour, the Wooden Award, on Saturday, Davis became only the second freshman to earn the award after Kevin Durant won it with Texas in 2007. In the other Final Four matchup, Kansas came back from a 13-point deficit to defeat Ohio State, who crumbled down the stretch of the second half.

Thomas Robinson led Kansas with 19 points and eight rebounds, while Ohio State standout Jared Sullinger was neutralized, hitting only five of his 19 attempted shots. The two storied programs met on Monday night in the championship game. (Results were not released before publication).

FIGURE SKATING — Figure skating rarely makes its way into the Water Cooler, but we felt it necessary to highlight Canadian Patrick Chan’s incredible performance this past weekend in Nice, France. Chan ended an unbeaten skating season by successfully defending his secondstraight world figure skating championship title. With the gold medal, Chan continues to ride his wave of

momentum after having won almost every male-athlete-of-the-year honour Canada offered in 2011. Moreover, it’s becoming clear that he is the best male figure skater on the planet. Canadians will hopefully take notice of Chan and watch the 21-year-old leading up to the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympic Games. Who knew figure skating could get us this hyped up?

NBA BASKETBALL — The NBA playoffs became that much less exciting after news broke Saturday that Knicks guard Jeremy Lin tore the meniscus in his left knee guaranteeing that his breakthrough season is over. The “Linjury” is devastating news to many basketball fans, as Lin became one of the most popular athletes in the world in a matter of weeks after coming out of nowhere and igniting the Knicks’ season. In basketball news across the sea, former NBA All-Star Stephon Marbury led the Beijing Ducks to their firstever Chinese Basketball Association title by defeating last year’s champions, the Guangdong Tigers 124-121.

The 35-year old Marbury scored 41 points in the clinching game, and seems to have reinvented his career in China. He averaged 26.2 points per game during the season, but as

for any NBA comebacks, Marbury seems very happy in Beijing. With his reemergence, we think it’s time to lace up the old “Starbury” sneakers … remember those?

FOOTBALL — New Orleans Head Coach Sean Payton and General Manager Mickey Loomis are set to meet at the NFL’s New York offices today with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. The meeting is on the topic of their hearings about their appeals of suspensions resulting from the Saints’ bounty program. Goodell agreed to give them a chance to state their case. We hope Goodell welcomes Payton and Loomis into the meeting with a nice cheap shot from behind. In other news, Nike won a temporary restraining order last Wednesday that will prevent Reebok from selling or manufacturing any Tim Tebowrelated products. Nike, which begins its five-year run as the NFL’s licensed apparel manufacturer this season, claimed that Reebok used Tebow’s name on New York Jets’ merchandise without permission after Tebow had been traded to the Jets. The Tribune advises the two companies to take this rift to the big man upstairs … or Tebow, because he has a direct line.

compiled by Hrant Bardajikan, Trevor Drummond, Josh Freedman, Josh Prizant

american league east 1. New York Yankees The Yankees bolstered their pitching rotation this year with the additions of Michael Pineda and Hiroki Kuroda. Although Pineda is slated to open the season on the disabled list, the Bombers hold a slight advantage over the Red Sox rotation because of their ace, CC Sabathia.

Despite the declining play of Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez, the Yanks have a few big bats with Curtis Granderson and Mark Teixeira, who hammered 41 and 39 HRs, respectively, in 2011.

2. Boston Red Sox

Forget about the collapse, this team is loaded with talent and is poised to make Fenway’s centennial memorable.

The lineup features several power hitters in Adrian Gonzalez, David Ortiz, and Jaccoby Ellsbury. A healthy Carl Crawford should regain his All-Star form and put this team over the top. While not extraordinary, the starting rotation is respectable and enters the season with a chip on its shoulder. The same can’t be said about their mediocre bullpen, which will ultimately cost the Sox the division title.

3. Toronto Blue Jays The Blue Jays won’t reach the postseason, but they will be in the thick of

central 1. Detroit Tigers The Tigers are coming off a solid season in 2011 and are the defending AL Central division champions. After scoring the fourth most runs in the AL in 2011, the team brought in big slugger Prince Fielder to further strengthen their batting. Look for Max Scherzer to compliment reigning AL MVP Justin Verlander in a young and talented pitching rotation.

2. Kansas City Royals

After more than twenty years of heartache, the Royals have assembled what may become one of the most dangerous offensive teams in the league. Billy Butler, Eric Hosmer, and Mike Moustakas form the young core of their offense. Don’t be surprised if the Royals are playing meaningful games come September.

3. Minnesota Twins The Twins are coming off a horrible year that saw them finish 13th

the wildcard race leading up to the final games of the season. Jose Bautista is a wonderful player but this team needs to surround him with some big name talent to stay competitive within this division.

Brett Lawrie is set to become a household name by the end of the 2012 season and his success will be a testament to the depth of the Jays’ farm team.

4. Tampa Bay Rays Contrary to popular opinion, the Rays will take a major step back this season. Their demise will be their season opening schedule, which features three series against powerhouses: the Yankees, Tigers, and Red Sox. Also, their matchup

(out of 15) in the AL in both earned runs and runs scored, but a bounceback year isn’t out of the question. A healthy Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau will provide a much-needed offensive boost to an anemic offense.

against the emerging Blue Jays shouldn’t be overlooked. If they falter early, the Rays will have a difficult time surmounting losses at the hands of divisional opponents.

5. Baltimore Orioles The laughing stock of the AL East, the Orioles have done little to give their fans even a sliver of hope.

This team will undoubtedly miss out on the playoffs yet again as they concentrate on rebuilding for the future. They have some nice pieces in Matt Wieters and Adam Jones, but those two aren’t enough to survive in this uber competitive division.

runs against. Their offense boasts pretty good power, and catcher Carlos Santana is a bona fide star.

5. Chicago White Sox

The key to any success for the Indians in 2012 rests squarely on their pitching rotation. Justin Masterson is a legitimate number one, and the additions of Ubaldo Jimenez and Derek Lowe should help lower the earned

An aging offense and a mediocre pitching staff should place the South Siders at the bottom of the AL Central for the first time since 1989. The biggest question marks are in their rotation, most notably Jake Peavy’s health and Chris Sale’s move from the bullpen, while their batting order is decrepit.

3. Seattle Mariners

4. Oakland Athletics

The Mariners traded rookie of the year finalist Michael Pineda to the Yankees in exchange for catcher Jesus Montero. Though Seattle now has a middle of the lineup bat to pair with their ace pitcher Felix Hernandez, the rest of the roster looks very weak. Ichiro Suzuki is on the decline and sophomore Dustin Ackley may not be ready to make an impact.

The A’s may have had the busiest off-season in the division, but with much less fanfare. Oakland signed exciting Cuban prospect Yoenis Cespedes, while they also traded starting pitchers Trevor Cahill and Gio Gonzalez for a haul of prospects. The A’s are desperate for a new stadium, potentially in San Jose. Until then, they will be one of the worst teams in baseball.

4. Cleveland Indians

west 1. Los Angeles Angels 2. Texas Rangers of Anaheim The off-season additions of Albert Pujols and C.J. Wilson make the Angels a World Series favourite heading into the 2012 season. Wilson joins a pitching rotation that already includes AllStars Jered Weaver, Dan Haren, and Ervin Santana. Albert Pujols will solidify the offense, but the healthy return of Kendrys Morales may be equally as important.

After losing C.J. Wilson to the Angels, Texas signed Japanese phenomenon Yu Darvish to be the ace of the pitching staff. Their offense is incredibly powerful, but Josh Hamilton, Ian Kinsler, Nelson Cruz, and Adrian Beltré all carry injury concerns. The Rangers will likely make the playoffs as one of the wild card teams, but a third consecutive trip to the World Series may be wishful thinking.

Image sources: nationalsportsbeat.com, seeklogo.com, phombo.com, graphicshunt.com, sportsgeekery.com, sportslogos.net, wikia.org

23

Major League

Baseball

national league

season preview

east

1. Atlanta Braves

2. Philadelphia Phillies

3. Washington Nationals

With a lot of up and coming youngsters, the Braves were content to stay put this off-season.

However, with a balanced rotation, bullpen, and lineup, the team should be able to ascend to their familiar place at the top of the NL East. A rejuvenated Jason Heyward and the continued dominance of the Braves’ flame-throwing pitchers should see the Tomahawk Chop performed late into October.

When healthy, the Phillies are the best team in the division, but star sluggers Ryan Howard and Chase Utley are battling injuries.

Combined with other aging veterans, the Phillies are looking vulnerable on offence, with Hunter Pence expected to carry the load. The Phillies’ playoff chances will rest on the dominance of top three pitchers—Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, and Cole Hamels. Winning is possible whenever any of these three pitch, so expect the Phillies to comfortably make the playoffs.

The Nationals are poised to make a playoff push this season.

With a three-headed pitching attack led by Gio Gonzalez, Jordan Zimmerman, and Stephen Strasburg, the Nationals seem ready to shut down their opposing offences. A full season of Ryan Zimmerman and a bounceback year from Jayson Werth should also help place the Nationals in position to finally play meaningful baseball in September.

With the departure of Prince Fielder and the distractions surrounding Ryan Braun, most fans have dismissed the Brewers heading into this season. Their pitching remains very strong, led by Zack Greinke and Yovani Gallardo, and the addition of Aramis Ramirez at third base should help alleviate the departure of Fielder. At the end of the day, this is still one of the most balanced teams in the NL.

lost their future Hall of Fame Manager Tony La Russa and future Hall of Fame first baseman Albert Pujols.

However, not all is lost in Missouri.

The addition of Carlos Beltran, the healthy return of starter Adam Wainwright, and the emergence of playoff hero David Freese provide hope for the Cards. They are still a good team, but they won’t match their magical 2011 campaign.

4. Miami Marlins

5. New York Mets

Yes, the Miami Marlins made a big splash this offseason, getting a new stadium, jersey, and some needed talent in the form of Jose Reyes, Mark Buehrle, and Heath Bell. With the big bat of Giancarlo Stanton and a returning Josh Johnson, there is a lot to be hopeful about. However, let’s not forget that this team was horrendous last year, winning just 72-games, and that a few splashy free agent signings won’t make up all the difference.

Expect the Marlins to squeak over the .500 mark.

If there is any certainty in the NL East, it is that the Mets are going to struggle mightily this year. Their rotation is a mess led by a beat-up Johan Santana, who is expected to be the ace of the staff, and beside Ike Davis and David Wright, their offence is much below average. The only bright spot may be Lucas Duda, who should put up better than expected numbers in RF. The Mets will be lucky to crack 75 wins.

central 1. Cincinnati Reds The Reds offense looks to be loaded with Joey Votto, Jay Bruce, and Brandon Phillips providing the power. Youngsters Drew Stubbs and Zack Cozart should make an impact as well, but it’s the addition of starting pitcher Mat Latos that makes the Reds the division favourite. As long as Latos can stay healthy, the Reds should be division champs.

2. Milwaukee Brewers

3. St. Louis Cardinals The World Series champions

west 1. San Francisco Giants

The Giants of 2012 resemble both their championship squad from two years ago, and the team that failed to make the playoffs last season—great pitching combined with mediocre hitting. While this problem still remains, the team should get a boost from a returning Buster Posey and an emerging Brandon Belt. They have the ability to win 90 games, which should be enough in the weak NL West.

2. Arizona Diamondbacks Last season’s division winners should regress somewhat this season, although they will remain in the division hunt. Ian Kennedy and Ryan Roberts had uncharacteristically strong seasons last year, so don’t expect them to light it up once again. With a major star in Justin Upton and a slugging catcher in Miguel Montero, however, the DBacks can’t be counted out.

4. Chicago Cubs The Theo Esptein era is underway in Chicago, as the former Red Sox GM tries to end baseball’s

3. L.A. Dodgers Fresh off a new $2 billion ownership deal, the Dodgers are hoping to catch some ‘Magic.’

An offence bolstered by Matt Kemp and a healthy Andre Ethier should see them scoring runs in droves, however their playoff chances could be hampered by the lack of quality starters behind the amazing Clayton Kershaw. The X-Factor is their high-octane bullpen. If this strikeout-throwing crew can help the team pull out some close games, the Dodgers will vie for the division crown.

longest World Series drought (103 years). The rebuilding process will be long, but Epstein knows what he is doing. Starlin Castro, Matt Garza, and Geovany Soto provide a decent core, but years of bad management have ruined this ball club for the short term.

sons and appear to be heading towards a 20th. Pittsburgh has a very weak starting rotation and has no offensive threat after McCutchen.

6. Houston Astros

Signing outfielder Andrew McCutchen to a long-term deal was the first step towards becoming a legitimate franchise, but the Pirates have had 19 consecutive losing sea-

The Houston Astros will be one of the worst teams in baseball in 2012. Trading Hunter Pence last season signaled the team’s commitment to a long-term rebuilding process, but there isn’t a lot of Major League talent on this roster.

Second baseman Jose Altuve has some promise and pitchers Wandy

4. Colorado Rockies

5. San Diego Padres

There isn’t much to like about the Rockies this year. They were a poor team last season, and did not do much to improve in the offseason. Although the addition of Michael Cuddyer, along with proven stars Troy Tulowitzki and Carlos Gonzalez may help the club score some runs, the club’s awful pitching depth may ensure a lot of losses at hitter-friendly Coors Field. Expect the Rockies to struggle in this rebuilding year.

The Padres find themselves in the same boat as the Rockies—a weak team looking to rebuild for the future. The Padres have a laughably bad offence, with no real potential to generate any runs. Chase Headley, Cameron Maybin, and Nick Hundley don’t exactly scream Murderer’s Row. While the massive confines of Petco Park can help the Padres decent pitching crew keep the game close, the Padres will be lucky to crack 70 wins this season.

5. Pittsburgh Pirates

ONE WEEK LEFT OF THE TRIBUNE 2011-2012!

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