The McGill Tribune Vol. 21 Issue 16 by The Tribune

Deconstructing Rambo III A & E

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M cG ILL T R IB U N E

P u b lis h e d by the S t u d e n t s ’ S o c ie ty o f M c G ill U n i v e r s it y sin ce 1 9 8 0

T u e s d a y , J a n u a r y 15 2 0 0 2 I s s u e 16

The th rilla in M cG illa Neil Schnurbach

March 7, 2001 is a day which the McGill Redmen basketball team won’t soon forget. On that fateful evening, the Laval Rouge-etOr ended McGill’s best season in over a decade with an 82-72 playoff victory in Quebec City. Almost a full year later, the Redmen finally got a chance to exact some revenge on Saturday in front of a packed house at Donald Love Competition Hall. The team did not disappoint, scoring a 10088 victory over their archrivals from Laval, Canada’s fourth ranked team. All-conference guards Domen ico Marcario and Denburk Reid who had 20 and 19 points respec tively paced McGill, ranked sev enth in Canada. Captain Kirk Reid led the team with 21 points. “This was an important game for us,” said Captain Kirk who was 7 of 13 from the floor. “Last year they beat us all four times so we wanted to set the tone. It’s inter esting because last season we were always leading them at the half and then lost the games in the second half. This game we outplayed them down the stretch.” The Redmen didn’t merely outplay the Rouge-et-Or down the stretch. They dominated. With 5:48 to play in the sec ond half, Laval had their biggest lead of the game holding an 85-76 advantage. McGill’s exciting point guard Denburk Reid (no relation to Kirk) was not panicked and brought the ball up court very calmly. Using almost all of the shot clock and a beautifully executed screen by forward Frederic Bernard, Reid pulled up for a three and got nothing but net. That bas ket cut Laval’s lead to six. Reid ended the game with three three Please see REDMEN, page 17

ire they Engineering students or just drunk? Constructing a castle of Molson beers at Sno AP last Friday._________________________________________

Federal budget unfriendly to university students National security takes higher priority than oost-secondarv education Jean Mathews

The Canadian Alliance of Students’ Associations (CASA) increased the pressure on Finance Minister Paul Martin and Minister of Human Resources Development Canada (HRDC) Jane Stewart to follow through on the Canadian government’s com mitment to alleviate the financial situation of recently graduated col lege students coming from lowincome families. Recently graduated university students pressed for loan payments can apply for interest relief so that debt does not grow. This program applies for 30 months, after which time the student can re-apply for an additional 24 months. After a student has exhausted the 54 total months of interest relief, s/he can

apply to the Debt Reduction in Repayment Program (DRRP) to either have the total debt reduced by up to 50 percent, or to receive a $10,000 credit, which ever is less er. However, qualifications for get ting into DRRP are much more stringent than those for the inter est relief program. CASA has lobbied the govern ment (specifically HRDC and the finance ministry) to change their relief program into an Income Contingent Loan Remission pro gram, which would allow for all the students receiving interest relief to be eligible for DRRP. “If you are unable to pay back your loan due to your low income, the government would forgive part of your loan, in fact making it a remission program. It would encourage former students to pay

back what they can, but not be burdened for years with student debt. The current program isn’t working as well as it should. The remission program will help many more former students,” said Liam Arbuckle, national director of CASA. The standing committee on finance released a report on November 26, 2001, in which they made budget recommenda tions to the federal government. CASA was the only student lobby group quoted in the report and had its student debt relief recom mendations endorsed by the finance committee. “The Canada Student Loans Program estimates that 75 percent of borrowers who exhaust the 54 months of interest relief the feder al government provides are ineligi

ble for DRRP. The primary reason for this ineligibility is that DRRP and interest relief use two different eligibility tables. CASA believes that the federal government needs a DRRP that is at least as accessi ble as the interest relief program. We recommend that the govern ment reevaluate the criteria for some of its student debt relief ini tiatives to determine if they are too stringent,” stated the finance com mittee’s report to Martin. Despite the finance commit tee’s recommendations, the federal budget that the Finance Minister announced on December 10, did not allocate the necessary resources to implement the Income Contin gent Loan Remission program. Martin explained the absence of the necessary budget allocation Please see FEDERAL, page 2

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2 News

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, January 15, 2002

Jewish newspaper slams Simon Fraser U. newspaper By Stephen Hui The Peak (Simon Fraser U.) (U-WIRE) BURNABY, British Columbia - A Dec. 14, 2001, story on the front page of the Jewish Western Bulletin strongly criticizes Simon Fraser University's newspaper, the Peak, for running articles perceived as a promoting a pro-Palestinian agenda. The piece, written by one of the Bulletin's owners, calls the Peak "a hotbed of anti-Israel bias" and reports that Jewish students have been intimidated by some of the newspaper's material. Elliot Campbell, president of SFU Hillel, and one of the article's sources, says he is concerned about

the tone of the commentary that has appeared in the Peak on IsraeliPalestinian issues. The perceived prejudice of the newspaper might dissuade people from contributing to their student newspaper, he said. "I have considered writing pieces for the Peak on this issue before. However, I have always been afraid that it wouldn't get published because my stance on the issue doesn't fit with the way that it has been typically covered before in the Peak." "For example, there was recently a feature on the history of Jerusalem [Inequity and conflict: The history of urban development in Jerusalem, Features, Sept. 17, 2001], and it seemed that that par-

ticular article came from one side of the equation. ... That was a bit dis couraging, because there are other sides to the issue.” Campbell asserts that there needs to be more equitable coverage of the conflict, with multiple voices being heard. "I've talked to people who go to Carleton [University], where they won't allow articles on the issue at all, which I don't agree with either. That's censorship because of a little sensitivity and they don't want to upset anybody." "To have it go either way too much, I don't think that's the right thing to do either. I think there is a balance we can strike and hopefully here we can all work together to strike that proper balance." He plans to become more involved with the Peak, starting with a letter to the editor. Furthermore, Campbell has written an e-mail to the Peak’s edi torial staff relating his dismay regarding the picture the Bulletin paints of the Peak and clarifying his stance. "I thought the article was a lit tle harsh," he said, adding, "I did have some quotes taken out of con

text. Don Elder, the Peak's business manager, observes that the Bulletin's story contains several errors. For example, his statements about editors' elections and the annual general meeting are woven together in a confusing manner. In addition, features editor Ian Rocksborough-Smith notes that the article was quite biased and didn't seem to try to get at a lot of the facts behind the primary issue at hand. He wants everyone to know that the Peak has an anti-discrimination, anti-racist mandate. "Some people might try to associate [the perceived bias] with anti-Semitism, but I think that is a totally incorrect assessment. [While] any of the stuff that’s been published in the paper that can be perceived as pro-Palestinian from the standpoint that it's criticizing the actions of the Israeli govern ment, any government can commit certain actions that can be criti cized." Regarding the criticism leveled at the impersonation of media mag nate Izzy Asper, in the last spoof issue of the Peak [Setting the record straight on Mideast vampires,

Opinions, Nov. 26, 2001] Rocksborough-Smith said: "We've done that before in the Peak. We've criticized Conrad Black for his posi tion of power and his position of control over Canadian media, so the same criticism should be allowed for Izzy Asper. A lot of his papers have been known to have very pro-Israeli biases in their reporting of the Middle East." Reporters at the Peak have been trying to put forth an alterna tive view, he contends. "If you look at the history of student newspa pers, they have tended to be medi ums of alternative journalism that are expressing a view that is not the status quo and challenging the con ventions of journalism. ... Coverage in the mainstream media is not a balanced report," RocksboroughSmith said. Irma Arkus, the Peak's volun teer and promotions coordinator, maintains that everyone's participa tion and viewpoints are welcome at the paper. She would love to see more students get involved. "This is a student paper. It is for the students, by the students."

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by citing the insecurity of the country following the incidents of September 11. He said that national security had become a huge priority and considerable amounts of funding had to be allo cated to the defense department “After September 11, I was suddenly asked to come up with

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billion dollars for national security that I didn’t have the day before. But student debt relief is very important to us, and I will put pressure on Jane Stewart, to see it through.” Jean-Michel Catta, spokesper son for the Finance Minister, added that the latest budget had to be judged in terms of former budgets. “This budget is very much a security budget. You have to look at it in the context of previous budgets and the long-term objec tives of the government. The pre vious budgets, such as the 1998 budget, had significant contribu tions, specifically to interest relief and debt remission. In future budgets, the government will invest in key priorities such as health care and education,” he said. From the office of HRDC, Beth Clarkson, the press secretary for the minister, showed full sup port for CASA’s recommendations and promised to work hard towards implementing them. “We have been working with CASA on this issue and we will continue to put forward policy recommendations to the govern ment. It is certainly not a dead issue. The government is con cerned about the low pick-up on the debt-relief issue and we plan to rectify that.” In his December 2001 budget speech, M artin had been very enthusiastic about the national security package in the budget. “We will fully finance the national security package. A key part of reducing uncertainty is restoring a sense of personal secu rity. This budget commits new resources to the Canadian Security Intelligence Service (CSIS).

Indeed, we will provide the agency with the largest increase in its his tory. Furthermore, we will sub stantially increase the resources available to the RCMP for anti terrorist activities.” Danielle Lanteigne, VP Com munity and Government Affairs for SSMU and executive member of CASA Quebec, said that the money that the govern ment put into education was not enough. “The government had to choose to finance some programs over others. If you consider the amount that was given to defense, that money had to come from somewhere. Although they put some money into education, it will not effectively solve the problem of student debt. But the govern ment was in a position where it was expected of them. The coun try was feeling very insecure.” Arbuckle was disappointed with the budget and was not too impressed with Martin’s claim that the money went toward national security. “The budget let students down. They have large student loans to pay back and little relief from their debt. We need a com mitment from the government. CASA will push the government to make the next budget more post-secondary oriented. The rea soning that all the money had to go to national defense falls short because they did have money to fund many other programs like high speed internet. The govern ment still had the leverage to choose some programs over others, and debt relief was not chosen,” said Arbuckle on the day of the budget announcement.

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, January 15, 2002

News 5

A new role for a familiar face in SSMU John S cia scia ________________________

During the heated discussions on racism held in student council last semester, Solidarity for Palestinian Human Rights (SPHR) President Ahmed Abu-Safia was an outspoken opponent of the policy direction and actions of the Students’ Society of McGill University (SSMU). As an outside critic, Safia chal lenged the councils perception of racism on campus and defended the controversial SPHR-sponsored lec ture Israel: The Racist State through the right to freedom of speech. In a significant turn of events, Safia became the new Glubs and Services representative to SSMU in a by-election last November, a posi tion vacated when Suzy Loney resigned from council earlier in the semester. The McGill Tribune caught up with him to ask him about his chal lenges as an outsider coming in to SSMU, and as a club-leader strug gling to balance the interests of his own club with his new role as a stu dent representative. Tribune: What was your motivation for runningfor the position o f SSMU clubs representative? Do you have any particular goals for your position? Ahmed Abu-Safia: I felt that SSMU was not fulfilling its duties to clubs and services. I felt that there was a need to improve what seemed to be a lack of communication between

tension at previous SSM U meetings during discussions concerning Israel Shamir's lecture. How do you feel SSMU dealt with the issue? Were the discussions fair?

the two sides. Tribune: How do feel you've been received by your new SSMU peers? Abu-Safia: I regret to say that it wasn’t a warm welcome. I think it had to do with my past encounters with SSMU council.

Abu-Safia: I was completely appalled at the way SSMU handled the discussions. I think that there were noticeable biases held by cer tain councilors that motivated their opinions.

Tribune: Do you feel comfortable with your new responsibilities?

Tribune: What is your greatest criti cism o f SSMU council, and how might this be remedied in your opin ion?

Abu-Safia: Absolutely, though I am reducing my workload with the SPHR. This will give other mem bers the opportunity to gain execu tive experience in the group. Tribune: Before you were elected as a clubs representative, how would you have described your relationship to SSMU council and your views on its procedures? Abu-Safia: Unfortunately, as I have said, communication was not great between SSMU and its clubs. This is the major issue I have with the society. A lot of clubs don’t even know that there is such a thing as SSMU councilors. They just think that there’s a front desk and six executives running the show.

opinion on that message would be? Abu-Safia: He came here with a clear message. Namely, the idea of one-person, one-vote in Palestine. It’s a message of equality and justice and I believe that most Canadians would support this. Tribune: There has been considerable

Abu-Safia: I believe there are many SSMU councilors who are ignorant on the issue of human rights. I believe that for this to be solved, [the councilors] have to be willing to educate themselves so that they don’t mix up human rights issues with political issues. For example, when I’m talking about people who are tortured and killed [in Palestine], it’s a human rights issue, not a political one.

Tribune: How do you foreseeyour role in the council during the coming months? Do you have any aspirations o f runningfor an executiveposition at some point in the future? Abu-Safia: I’ll try to bring some diversity of opinion SSMU in addi tion to helping to improve commu nication with clubs and services. But I don’t foresee myself running for an executive position. Tribune: How did you fin d your first SSM U council meeting? How do you expect your actions will be judged in future meetings? Abu-Safia: It went all right, though there was tension once again between SPHR and SSMU. I remained silent during the discus sions and abstained from voting during that period. I think it’s too soon to tell how my performance will be judged in the future.

Tribune: Last semester, SPHR spon sored a lecture given by Israel Shamir entitled Israel: The Racist State. Consequently, there were heated talks over the content o f the lecture. Gan you offer your own interpretation o f

Four floors, reprise “Entry into the building was well-managed, we never had a problem with money-running or Revelry was rampant at bar-stocking. On a purely enter Friday’s Four Floors Party in the tainment level, I think it’s the best Shatner Building, as 1200 stu four floors I’ve been to. We’ve dents partied the night away with never had as spectacular a light an elaborate light show and profes show; the music was great, and sional dancers from the Molson everyone there seemed to be hav Beer company. ing an amazing time.” Though the final number of Ker did concede, that other attendants did not meet the pro events taking place at the same jected 1500, the event was enough time may have diminished atten of a financial success to recover a dance. fair chunk of the money lost dur "In hindsight, we probably ing Frosh and Culture Week. should have planned it for late Raoul Gebert, Students’ Soci January since the Science Carnival ety of McGill University (SSMU) and the Management Undergrad VP of Operations, said he is fore uate Society Carnival, are both casting significant revenues from going on [early] this month. But the event. then, by late January, people “We are budgeting for rev might have gotten tired of all the enues of several thousand dollars; activities." that money will go back into the “I heard that there were a zil events portfolio. We had a very lion house parties in the ghetto large deficit from the Frosh pro and we also ran against science car gram, and Culture Week was just nival. Nonetheless, 1200 peoplebreak-even, or we may have lost had an amazing time, and to me, about a thouand dollars... this is that makes the event a success.” one way of recovering the funds.” He did not think poor adver Brian Ker, SSMU VP of tising campaigns were at fault. Communications and Events , "Advertising was not an issue who co-ordinated the event, felt in my opinion; we could not have the event was a success despite the advertised any better than we did," the University Centre’s not being he said. filled to capacity. O f the total amount spent "Attendance wise, it was not toward the event, ($12- $13,000 as successful, but in terms of coor is Ker’s estimate), $3- $4,000 was dination the event was brilliantly run." he said. Please see FAIR-TRADE, pg 4

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4 News

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, January 15, 2002

New Trottier building at heart of projected McGill TechSquare "TechSquare," a constellation of high-technology centres in the Northeast corner of campus. The Trottier and Genomics buildings, together with the M .H. Wong Materials Engineering building, the Ruther-ford Physics building, McConnell Engineering and the McGill Bioinformatics Centre (to be housed in the Strathcona Anatomy and Dentistry building), will form a teaching and research hub integrating information sci ence, engineering, physical and chemical science and the life sci ences. "This is a mega-project," said Carole Kleingrib, Director of Development for the Faculty of Science. "It involves introducing new courses and new programs as

Philip Trippenbach

New developments on the downtown campus will soon have a powerful impact on McGill’s teaching and research in high-tech fields. The northeast corner of cam pus will house two new research and teaching facilities: the Lome M. Trottier Information Techno logy (IT) building and the Montreal Genomics and Proteonics Centre. The development promises to have considerably more implica tions for McGill than simply elim inating a popular shortcut across what was once an empty lot. The new buildings will be at the heart of McGill’s

well as creating new buildings." The TechSquare project also involves extensive landscaping of the drive between the Wong, Rutherford, Genome, Trottier and Strathcona buildings and the building of a new food court in the complex. At the heart of the new development will be the Trottier IT building. "IT is the backbone of a lot of these disciplines," said Terry Tobin, Development Officer for the Faculty of Engineering. "You just can’t do a lot of biotech or materials science without it." The Trottier building itself will be the focus of two new undergraduate programs jointly run by the faculties of Science and of Engineering: bachelor’s degree

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programs in Software Engineering and Microelectronics Engineering. The new programs will be run in the Trottier IT building, whose six floors are to house top-of-the-line facilities, according to Kleingrib. "We’ll be equipping [the Trottier IT building] with the lat est computers and testing new equipment. The work and study space will be flexible and modu lar," said Kleingrib, who also stat ed that the Faculty of Science is in discussions with various compa nies to install a wireless network throughout the building. The Trottier IT building will allow McGill to double enrollment and graduates in IT fields in the next three to five years, a move welcomed by both Science and Engineering faculties. "There’s a real space crunch in the Department [of Engineering] right now," said Tobin. "We’re having to turn a lot of qualified students away." The TechSquare facilities will increase Montreal’s attractiveness for high-tech firms, and will allow McGill "to attract top-notch stu dents and some of the best profes sors in the world," said Kleingrib, though the effects of this popular ity on the departm ent’s space problems remain to be seen. The Quebec provincial gov ernment, which contributed $7 million to the building’s construc tion costs, also welcomes the increase in enrollment. According to provincial sources, there is cur

continued from PAGE 3

spent on alcohol and $3,150 on a surprise light show featuring female dancers in Molson body suits. One concern, though, was the apparent absence of fair-trade beer being supplied at the event. While those administering the alcohol said sales of certain brands had been high, none was aware of whether any beer was in

NEW T H IS Y EA R ! CBC Radio’s (D aybreak) Dave Bronstetter will act as moderator for each of the lectures.

General A dm ission

fact a fair-trade product. Caitlin Cohen, a UO Arts stu dent who was serving alcohol on the second floor said, "It’s been very good, very busy. We’re out of [Molson] Canadian already,"she said. None of the bartenders pres ent knew whether they were serv ing fair-trade beer. According to Asahi Breweires Ltd, a noted supplier of the prod uct, fair trade beer is made from "the bounties of nature, such as water, barley and hops" and is pro duced in "environmentally con scious breweries, which utilize electrical power from a commis sioned wind-power plant." It costs roughly the same as a regular brand-name beer. Students were equally igno rant of the origin of their drinks, but seemed unperturbed. "Fair what?" said one reveler, who declined to give her name.

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A is lin

W illia m W eintraub

January 24, 2002

March 13, 2002

(aka Terry M osher)

April 18, 2002

As th e G lobe a n d M a il’s N ational Affairs colum nist, Jeffrey is a sought after presenter in Canada, the UK and US. He has w on all three o f Canada’s leading literary prizes and has published five books, the most recent of w hich is the #1 best seller, The Friendly D ictatorship.

A quick-witted and accomplished writer, broadcaster and teacher, Rex shares with a nation, his acerbic political commentary on CBC’s The N ational, Cross C ountry Check-up, and Definitely N ot the Opera.

But is it fair-trade beer?

The popular LGG Speakers’ Series returns for 2002. Join us for a captivating evening with...

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rently a shortage of 50,000 quali fied IT professionals in Quebec, and the dearth is projected to increase in spite of the current eco nomic situation. Quebec’s Education minister François Legault has indicated that the provincial government’s priori ty is focused on increasing num bers of IT graduates to satisfy industry demand. Lome M. Trottier, a graduate of McGill, personally donated the balance of the Trottier building’s $17 million construction cost. Trottier is co-founder of Matrox Electronic Systems Ltd. and presi dent of Matrox Graphics Inc., a computer chip and card manufac turer employing over 1200 people worldwide. Trottier has been active in promoting IT education in Quebec for several years as the president of the Special Projects Committee in Information Technology, a joint committee of the Provincial Government and Technovision Montreal, an organi zation that promotes IT education (and is also administered by Trottier). Fundraising continues for the building’s equipment and outfit ting, but construction has already begun, and the building is planned to be ready for students by May 2003. Full architectural plans and artist’s renderings are available at http://trottier.cs. mcgill. calpublic, htm

April 18, 2002 Considered Canada’s "nastiest cartoonist," Terry has freelanced and travelled extensively for The G azette. He has produced over 30 books, his latest, In Your Face, is a com pilation of his 200 wittiest cartoons over the past tw o years.

' '

A freelance writer, William Weintraub worked for The Gazette and Weekend M agazine before collaborating with the National Rim BoanJ of Canada for more than 20 years. His latest book, Getting Started-A M em oir o f O x 1950s, has received critical acclaim.

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The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, January 15, 2002

News 5

Bagbusters student group takes action on plastics entangle birds, fish and mammals, making it difficult, if not impossi ble to move or eat." Plastic products not only con gest landfills, but they clutter the environment. Bagbusters offers consumers ideas for alternatives to plastic bags. First, they suggest that people should consider whether a bag is always necessary: could the items be carried? If not, they sug gest reusing plastic bags from home, or using more environmentally friendly bag options such as back packs, cloth bags, cardboard boxes, baskets, or even pillow cases. They also encourage the public to choose supermarkets that have recycling programs for used bags. Finally, if the supermarket does not have such a program, individuals should suggest to the manager that they initiate one. Such efforts to curb plastic consumption may seem like a step in the right direction to reduce plas tic pollution. However, the Smithsonian Institute denounces the severity of the problem. The Institute launched The Garbage Project in 1973, and since then individuals have sorted, weighed, coded, and catalogued garbage from North American landfills, in an effort to study nation-wide con sumption patterns. Contrary to public expecta tion, the Project reported that "the most frequently encountered item in landfills is paper," which takes up

equates to roughly 567 million bags per year. The life span of conven tional bags is approximately 400 years, thus Canadian landfills will house 227 billion bags of plastic before a single bag biodegrades," she explains. Bagbusters also emphasized that plastic waste that makes it to the oceans endangers wildlife as well as the environment. "There are about 46,000 pieces of plastic floating in each square mile of our oceans. Each year, this plastic kills up to 1 million sea birds, 100,000 sea mammals and countless fish," stated Bourgault. Kimberly Amaral of the Woodshole Oceanographic Insti tute in Massachusetts also outlined how various types of plastics threat en ocean life. "To a sea turtle, a floating plastic bag looks like a jellyfish. And plastic pellets — the small hard pieces of plastic from which plastic products are made — look like fish eggs to seabirds. Drifting nets

Andrea Grant The future’s in plastics, son. Plastics. But not if McGill’s newly established Bagbusters group has anything to say about it. Overuse of plastic products is a pressing environmental issue that Bagbusters addresses. This week marks their first campaign to reduce the use and consumption of plastic bags. Bagbusters started last October, with funding help from the Students’ Society of McGill University’s Campus Life Fund. Maryse Bourgault, a main organizer of the group, said that plastic bags are difficult to recycle, as they are easily contaminated by the food they contain. In addition, the national level of plastic bag con sumption is enormous. "In Canada, approximately 28 million kg of plastic bags go into our landfill sites every year. This

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40 percent of landfill space. "In landfill after landfill excavated by the Garbage Project, the volume of all plastics - foam, film and rigid; toys, utensils and packages amounted to between 20 and 24 percent of all garbage." The American Plastics Council (APC) also countered the plastics panic by emphasizing plastic’s role in resource conservation. "Plastics help make packaging more efficient, thereby conserving resources... It takes fewer trucks, and therefore less fuel, to get prod ucts to the consumer. For example, it takes seven trucks to carry the same number of paper bags that fit in one truckload of plastic bags." The APC also stated that plas tic’s durability and lightweight means that they minimize packag

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ing material used as compared to alternatives such as corrugated card board or wood. Also, they empha sized that plastic can be better reused and recycled than the alter native materials. Bagbusters will be available across campus this week to answer questions on plastic bag use, and to provide alternatives. Visit their information tables everyday from 10 am to 2 pm. Tables will be located on Monday at the Adams Building, Tuesday at McConnell Engineering, Wednes day at Bronfman, Thursday at Leacock, Friday at Shatner, and at Macdonald Campus on Wednesday and Thursday.

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6 Op/Ed

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, January 15, 2002

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“T V is ch ew in g gum for the eyes.” — Fran!{ L loyd Wright

The CNN effect and the selling of Paula Zahn Rhea Wong___________________

Television is all about appearances, five second sound bites, entertainment and good-looking people. Escapism is the bread and butter o f television regardless o f whether talking about sitcoms, dramas and even T V news. Though many claim that watching TV news is nothing but an onslaught o f disturbing images and sensationalistic headlines, the fact remains that an impending nuclear war seems easier to stomach when deliv ered by a lip-glossed, perfectly coiffed, attractive anchorperson. Reading off the teleprompter is only half the story. The other half o f the job for a TV anchorperson is to project a trustworthy, intelligent and attractive personality. Whether we like it or not, people on T V are just a little bit more attractive than the majority o f the population. In the business o f ratings, good-looking anchorpeople are simply the nature o f the beast. C N N may not agree. Last week, C N N faced criticism for an ad which featured anchorwoman Paula Zahn as “provocative, super-smart and just a little bit sexy” to the sound o f a zipper coming undone. C N N then promptly yanked the controversial ads because o f the insult to Zahn’s journalistic integrity. This is simply a question o f C N N being honest about their hir ing practices. There is no doubt that part o f Zahns appeal lies in her looks. Zahn’s blonde, clean-cut, wholesome, all-American appear ance played heavily into the image that C N N wants to maintain. Though I am not suggesting that Zahn’s looks are her sole appeal, it would be equally ludicrous to suggest that her looks do not figure into her job. If her physical attractiveness was a factor in hiring her, why shouldn’t it be a factor in marketing her? Moreover, the job o f an anchorperson has very little to do with actual reporting. At the level o f anchoring the news, people are lit tle more than talking heads. If the viewing audience insists that the talking head be pretty, why is C N N pretending that it’s really all about hard journalism? Furthermore, the world o f TV journalism and its monosyllabic phrases have very little credibility in the larger scheme o f journalism. Turning now to the issue o f the actual ad, it is a fact that effec tive advertising is a little bit irreverent, sometimes funny and always memorable. This ad is no different. Will this ad be remembered? Certainly. Will it gain Zahn a few more viewers? Probably. Does it help C N N to change their staid image? Definitely. If C N N chooses to continue pretending that their anchorpeople are true hard-hitting journalists who are only coincidentally good-looking and Zahn resents the commodification o f her physi cal appearance, then get out o f the T V biz. Am I watching TV to look at the same humdrum thing that I could see outside my front door? Like the person who claims that they read Playboy for the arti cles, I watch TV for the deep content. Sure, you might read an arti cle or two, but you’re mostly looking at the pictures.

th e

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WÊÊÊÊÊËÊËmm Checking my messages This is funnily enough a response to a response to a letter I had sent you that I didn't know you had printed. My letter was about the book "The Holocaust Industry" by Dr. Norman Finkelstein. You had printed a response to my letter by a Mr. John Good in which he says that my letter was actually 'thinly veiled anti-semitism'. In my letter I remember pointing out the actual message of his book and the fact that Dr. Finkelstein’s parents where also Holocaust survivors. I hate to admit it, but I do take offense to being called anti-semetic. So far as I can remember I only stated what the book was about. If Mr. John Good feels that there is racism or anti-semitism in any thing, I think he would be wise to point his finger at the author, not at myself. I have neither the will nor the desire to hate anyone or any group, as he presumes.

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Op/Ed 7

Erica Goldblatt

Back at school: good times or just shoot me? In the past week, I have heard noth ing but complaints from my friends and acquaintances about how hard it is to come back to school after winter vaca tion. It’s true, the party is over, it wasn’t long enough and some of our marks still haven’t been posted. However, today I would like to focus on all of the positive aspects of being back at McGill. It seems I spend a lot of time bitch ing about the McGill establishment. Last semester, it seemed I had a good reason to. My classes were oversized and corrupted by the cruel methods of mul tiple choice. I was thrilled to walk into my new classes (selected over the break when I switched majors) and find that there were less students, more essay exams, and an environment that breeds discussion. Whoops! Guess I was just in the wrong program. I hope anyone who’s made a similar decision, to bite the bullet and try something completely new, will be rewarded as I have. You really don’t know it yet, but this could be the best semester of your life. Why not? For those of you graduating, this is it, you’re finished after a couple of months, and you’re probably already kicking back and enjoying it. If you’re in first year, you’re now more familiar with McGill and you’re no longer really a rookie. You’ve survived the first months of boozing and brawling (and BMH)

and now the walk up the hill doesn’t seem as tough. Congratulations! For all of us stuck in the middle, now is our chance to really get involved with everything McGill has to offer. We can apply for exchanges to study away next year, we can start taking our university careers more seri ously. So being back doesn’t have to be as bad as you think it is. Also, let’s keep in mind that Montreal is the greatest city to live in, especially when were hav ing such a mild winter, as we are now. If you’re feeling homesick, just walk on over to St. Laurent and grab a drink at Go-Go’s (if you can stand the line), or head on over to Biftek for some popcorn and pool. Remember that at home you probably don’t live as close to down town as you do here, and the language barriers make for spicy late night conversations! Now that you’re back in school, you can also start putting those New Year’s resolutions into effect. Join the gym and eat healthier, or if your New Year’s resolution was just the opposite, enjoy the many fast-food establishments Montreal has to offer. But most of all, enjoy being back here with your friends and roommates. This is the only time you can go out and work and have fun all at the same time without the responsibility of holding down a serious, “adult” job. The people here become our extended family and your profs are like lamer or cooler versions of your parents. I hope everyone had a great break and if you’re still feeling down, give it a bit of time. You’ll be back to your old ways before you know it.

I cannot believe that Erica actually feels that it is good to be back at school. I’m not happy to be back. I know my roommate is pretty pissed off (he has a proposal due on Thursday and has been working his guts out since stepping off the train). Now, I understand the beau ty of returning to the land of no parental guidance, abundant friends and endless parties, but the key element in this whole process that Erica is forget ting is the school part! Unfortunately, that ugly academic reality of GPAs and marking schemes will now once again hang over every body’s heads for another four months. Not to mention I find it particularly amusing that Erica, who had that rant about multiple choice earlier on in the last semester is all of a sudden so eager to embrace her old nemesis. I remember reading an essay in grade 12 whose title, I believe, was “Labour Day is the Dreaded Bell in the Schoolyard of the Mind”. This essay was an older man’s reflections upon what it meant to him to sit on the cusp of the end of the summer. Essentially, if one recollects back to elementary school, the end of every recess and lunch break was marked by that distinct bell ringing in the schoolyard, letting everybody in the neighbourhood know that play time was over. Labour Day, for this essayist, became the symbol of this “Dreaded” bell for it announced

the end of fun time, and subse quently, the beginning of work. Taking this notion one step fur ther, the end of Christmas break is like Labour Day or all other endings. The final days hang over our heads with the words ‘school is starting soon’ ringing in our minds and this is never a ; pleasant experience. Although being at school is enjoyable, being in school isn’t. Education, mind expansion, obstacle conquering, high mark receiving are always great for the ego, but I’m not going to get misty eyed and so disillusioned as to fool myself into thinking that I really, really, really am glad to be back. With the return of school comes the return of that little voice deep inside all our heads that always croons: ‘there is always something academic you could be doing.. .for every beer you drink tonight you are that far behind your peers.. .don’t watch the NFL playoffs, there’s much work to be done’. You’re right Erica, school isn’t that bad - looking forward to your first mid-term? Try guessing ‘B’ for welcome Back!

flf

Getting stuffed over the holidays

The holidays are officially over, and I’m officially 50 pounds heavier. So much for my brilliant plan to secretly workout at home and return to school looking like a supermodel. Damned turkeys! So succulent and full of delicious treasure that I like to call stuffing. My only excuse for non-physi cal activity is pure sloth. As for the 300+ hours of television time I put in, I can’t really say I even watched anything good. That is unless biog raphies on Charlie Sheen, MTV ‘Cribs’ and numerous N ’Sync Christmas specials are considered quality. By the way, did anyone

else see Redman’s house/nastiest crib ever? I did manage to get off my lazy ass for one special night called Christmas; however, in retrospect I wish I hadn’t. The reason is truly selfish and bitter (in the true spirit of the season): everyone in my fam ily has a significant other except for me, and they were all present. Even my 15 year-old cousin brought her boyfriend of three years. Three years! I saw them mak ing-out during dinner and I gagged. I started having visions of myself spending future Christmases at freaky Club Med singles parties. I would be forced to drink insane amounts of tequila so that ‘Howie’ the 45-year old man who has orange skin, a balding head (possi ble comb-over), and medallions galore, starts looking like Brad Pitt. The only person that was speaking to me during Christmas

was this stewardess who was the daughter of a family friend. Why was she at our Christmas dinner? Because her boyfriend missed his flight home. So she spent the entire night complaining about it, while was wishing I were at home drinking martinis with my friends Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha. Then I became even sadder because I realized that I con sider fictional television characters as close, personal friends. However, Santa was very kind to me and made sure that I would not spend my break toiling in my own misery. He delivered me a (boy) toy by the name of “Ethan”. Ethan was 23 and really hot. We had a very intense two-week ‘relationship’ that was as close to perfection as possi ble. That is probably why it worked so well, because we both knew it would end on January 7th

(the day of evil). Having a precise date for departure was great because it eliminated any doubts of where the relationship was going. Wouldn’t it be great if you knew from the start how long a relation ship would last, so that everyone could just relax and enjoy the ride? (However, I SUPPOSE that might not be totally desirable, in fact it would be depressing and pointless). My time with him also made me realize how psycho and para noid I’ve become thanks to my past relationships with players and liars. Ethan was late meeting me on the night of our first date. I automati cally thought that he had stood me up. Normal enough, right? Well, I then began to fantasize that he was part of this weird Internet TV show where guys stand up girls and film it live on the net. He was only ten minutes late! I know I have prob lems.

T rib u n e

Ethan and I parted amicably and I returned to Montreal, single again. On a slightly different note I would like to point out that I have friends who have break until January 21st AND get two reading weeks. I tell them that they aren’t getting their “money’s worth” at school, laugh at them and then I turn away and cry like a baby.

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A Roman holiday or journey to the dark side? Museum of Fine Arts features the works of Piranesi and Goya Audrey Ejdelman

Ancient ruins, subterranean prisons, violent scenes of battle and gruesome monsters. No, Gandalf groupies, this is not The Lord o f the Rings. These are just some glimpses of the Modern Museum of Fine Arts exhibit enti Piranesi-Goya : ‘Roma tled Fantasticd and the ‘Sleep o f Reason’, which includes three hundred prints by Giovanni Battista Piranesi and Francisco Goya. But to fully appreciate the art of printmaking, MMFA does the artists justice by offering detailed and inspiring perspectives on the actual mediums used. MMFA showcases the actual engraved cop per plates used to produce the prints that await you. Though he was first trained as an architect, Giovanni Battista Piranesi abandoned the field and moved from his hometown of Venice to Rome at age 20. By this time, Rome had become the intel lectual capital of Europe, and the centre of the Enlightenment. The etchings on exhibit are examples of those he sold as souvenirs to tourists. These views literally restore Rome from her ruins. You can eas ily imagine the city’s grandeur by looking at these engravings. You see the ancient city through Piranesi’s eyes in what he called "all possible exquisiteness."

Once you see these spectacular images, you will definitely want to be Audrey Hepburn on your very own Roman Holiday. Although Piranesi’s Roman Antiquities and Views o f Rome series celebrate picture-perfect landmarks lfke the Arch of Titus and the Coliseum, he manages to set himself apart from his contemporaries with unconventional perspectives and views of these places. Piranesi had not only found beauty in the obvious monuments, he saw it in "the sewers, the walls, the aqueducts, the paved roads" of the city as well. Traveling the streets of Rome, we enter into its sewers, and somehow end up in a sub terranean dungeon, also known as Carceri, (Invisible Prisons). These are engravings of Piranesi’s imagined prison inte riors but they are also views into the artist’s own tormented inner world. There is a powerful sense of personal expression in his Invisible Prisons. What is revolu tionary is that these 18th century works verge on the abstract art of our modern era. Reality stranger than fiction After the majestic and dark tour of Rome, terrifying reality awaits in Goya’s art. Goya is con

sidered one of the first Realist artists and his work exposes the truth no matter how brutal, ugly or revolting it is.

Born in Fuendetodos, Spain in 1746, Francisco Goya began his artistic career with a series of church commissions, and portraits of Spanish nobility. In 1789, he was appointed painter to the King’s Chamber, also the first year of the French Revolution and a turbulent time in Spain. Goya had become friends with influential writers and

intellectuals of the Enlightenment, and he was eager to expose the injustices and hypocrisy he had witnessed through his dealings with the Church and the monarchy. After a serious illness, Goya lost his hearing, and became depressed and isolated. This experience profoundly changed him and his art. Los Capricios, a series of prints, published soon after, is evi dence of this change. The series of etchings is inspired by the philosophical spirit of Enlightenment, and by Goya’s own views on human behaviour. He ridicules what he called "the extravagances and follies" of society, in the name of reason. Each plate is paired with a caption written by the artist. Goya’s dark humour is worthy of any Coen brother. His issues are highly rele vant to our present day and age. In fact, it seems that in many ways, society has not come that far in the 200 years since its publication. The human vices of hypocrisy, vanity, greed, and ignorance are timeless. Los Capricios takes aim at the institution of marriage. In one plate entitled What a Sacrifice!, he depicts a young girl being eyed by her much older, richer fiancé. Goya also rejects any romantic notions associated with the realm of the supernatural. He believes

that the Spanish people needed education, not the irrational super stition of witches and goblins. His other series, The Disasters o f War, is an account of the inva sion and occupation of Spain by Napoleon’s army in the early 1800s. The war between the French forces and the Spanish rebels is captured in these scenes of murder, rape, and cruelty. These images do not glorify war or attempt to celebrate patriot ism. Goya is once again exposing things for what they really are. There is an overriding sense of dis illusionment and despair in his later works, particularly in Los Disparates, which are inhabited by frightening beasts and creatures. The final destination in this exhibit is the bizarre and twisted world of Jake and Dinos Chapmans. The British brothers interpret Goya’s prints, elaborating on the themes of war and cruelty in The Disasters o f War, using modern references to Nazism. Their prints are disturbing and thought provok ing, following in Goya’s footsteps. Piranesi-Goya showcases two artists of the same era, influenced by similar philosophy, using the same medium. Yet both of their works remain unique and distinct. Their art will transport you through cities, civilizations and the human psyche. It is a fantastic ride and certainly cheaper than the plane ticket to Rome.

Episode one: False Faces, True Hearts David Isaak

The world you are about to enter seems both familiar and strange. It is the world you know, and yet the world you don’t know— but always wanted to explore. It is the world presented to you through appearances, and yet the world that is hidden behind the mask—but now revealed. Join us in our exploration each week. Episode One THE CHARACTERS: MICHAEL is a first year student; a tall, good-looking boy with dark hair, a wry grin, and devastating brilliant blue eyes, he has been scouting out MICHELLE, a mysterious and thoughtful-looking blonde with cateyeglasses, who is in his first-year Psychology class. He has been maneu vering to get near her through his friend BENJAMIN, a shorter but very manipulative boy who has known Michelle for a long time, and has a secret longing to have her for

himself, but who is conflicted between his long friendship with Michael and his secret desire. To com plicate matters, Michelle has a crush on her young, handsome and bril liant psychology professor, DR. TIM O TH Y ROBERTS, a melancholy man with a dark secretpast. Michelle has told only one person o f her secret crush, her bestfriend and confidante SARA, a depressed and neurotic heavy-set girl with a sarcastic sense o f humour, who secretly hates Michelle and her ability to have any boy she wants. THE SETTING: Gordon University, noon: A long, hallway outside o f Dr. Roberts Peacock 132 classroom. The sun shines through the tall windows, and the hallway is ringing with the gossiping o f a large group o f students, thankful to have another lecture over and done with. Part o f the group is Michael, who is in the midst o f having a heavy discus sion with Benjamin, all the while looking at Michelle, who is talking with Sara and a couple o f other friends.

MICHAEL (runs his hand through his hair): So, what did she say? Did you tell her about the party? Is she going to it this week end or what? BENJAMIN: Hey, man: take it easy, all right? Everything’s set. I

don’t know why you won’t just go up to her and talk to her... MICHAEL: You can’t just do that with this girl.. .she’s different: I can tell. (Looks far off in the dis tance with a strange look in his eye) I have to be careful... (Snaps out of it) Well, what did she say?

BENJAMIN: She said she might make it, if her friend wants to g o . MICHAEL (in exasperation): What? What is this? Always, there’s something that gets in the way! (He looks at Michelle again, who laughs her unique laugh at something Sara says while she, with one fluid and graceful motion, pushes up her glasses) God...she is so beautiful. I’ll do anything to get her. BENJAMIN (under his breath) As would I. MICHAEL: What’s that? BENJAMIN: Nothing. MICHAEL (turns attention back to Michelle): Which friend is she talking about? That heavy girl there? What’s her name? BENJAMIN: I think it’s Sara something. She’s got quite the tongue. Why? What are you think ing about? MICHAEL (slowly smiling): I want to make sure Sara is going to come to this party. (Turns to Benjamin and smiles even wider) BENJAMIN (with slow dawn

ing horror): Oh, m an.. .no. No, no, no, no, no! Man! (Michael is still insistently smiling at him. Benjamin weakens) Oh, c’mon! (Michael continues to stare; his eyes become strangely mesmerising. Benjamin relents) Fine! I’ll talk to her...but you’re going to owe me, big time. MICHAEL (slaps him on the shoulder) My man! We go to Michelle and Sara as they wave goodbye to their departing friends. MICHELLE (turning conspiratorially to Sara): I think I got his attention today. SARA (narrows her eyes as her eyebrows rise questioningly): What do you mean? Did you spread your legs or something? MICHELLE (after the small est pause): Shut-up! No; I think he was checking me out. I saw him look at me a couple of times, and not just look, but you know, look look. SARA: I think you’re delusionPlease see TRUE, page 9

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, January 15, 2002

Features 9

Too red, white n' blue Justin Renard

Red, white and blue/ Oh the funny things you do/ America, America this is you Over the trip south for the win ter break, the star spangled-banner was an inescapable visual fixture. Like your Aunt Irma asking you why you are not a doctor, the flag just would not go away. The nor mally American-beloved Old Glory garnered buildings, sport utility vehicles, storefronts, suburban Christmas decorations, clothes and even jewellery. A new sense of pride and appreciation had soaked through the air. What does it mean to own a ‘New York’ t-shirt by Banana Republic for $19.50 US or an Abercrombie & Fitch ‘Pride Jersey’ for the same price? Or an American flag golf ball marker for $9.95 US? A gold-sapphire-diamond-ruby American flag pin on ebay.com for $2,200 US? This seems to change the flag’s significance for corporate or perhaps even government gain. In the spring of 1776, Betsy Ross, a young seamstress in Philadelphia, was approached by three patriots needing a banner to rally their troops. George Washington, George Ross and Robert Morris needed a flag that would represent a fledgling nation. Her sewing had to be a covert oper ation. Now one woman's handiwork is a nation s signature, but it is high ly unlikely, however, that Ross intended her creation to bedizen designer clothes across the US creat ing trend versus symbolism. Yet the history of the American flag is a unique one. June 14, 1777, the Continental Congress resolved that the flag be 13 stripes, alternate red and white; that the union be 13 stars, white in a blue field, repre senting a new and strong constella tion. Since then it has taken on many forms, the final of which the whole world very intimately knows. Since its creation, America has used Old Glory as a symbol of its stability and uniqueness. August 14, 1945, the flag that flew over Pearl

Harbour when it was attacked, was flown over the White House when the Japanese accepted terms of sur render. In 1963, Barry Bishop placed the flag on the top of Mount Everest. And July 20, 1969, American Astronaut Neil Armstrong placed the American flag on the moon. Since the September 11 terror ist attacks, the flags have been ripped off the poles at their half mast position and flung onto every thing from wristwatches to tattoos. One specific example of the flag’s hasty public use is in the new ‘United We Stand’ US flag stamp released this past October. Usually a stamp takes between one and four years to produce. The concept was proposed on September 14 was approved by September 20. Ironically this time it took six days, and the proud US post office print ed 300 million stamps a week so 1 billion'would be available in post offices by November 1. Suddenly today, the flag’s fame has peaked thanks to such labels as Old Navy, or such corporations as McDonald’s. But more surprising is the lack of serious contempt or scrutiny for this result. Some may remember when Vancouver-based Adbusters Media Foundation sparked a flag campaign last July as a "blast of symbolic dis obedience" against corporate gov ernment takeover. The campaign provided a ‘Corporate Flag,’ a remake of the US flag in which the stars were replaced with corporate logos designed for an Adbusters contest coined the ‘brands and bands,’ to replace the ‘stars and stripes’ during the US Independence Day celebration. And according to its website, "The flag campaign is far from over...the flag is fast becoming a public rallying point for the move ment against corporate power." This was not exactly the sentiment this past winter holiday in New York. Instead, America shared its pride and perhaps consumerist ego with Ralph Lauren and the Gap — in many cases heeding the words of President Bush to fight the war with your credit card. If not, the latest loon from Tommy Hilfiger works too.

True hearts continued from PAGE 8

al, girlfriend. The professor is sup posed to look at everybody in the classroom; that’s, like, their job? MICHELLE (determined): No, no— I definitely am getting vibes from Professor Roberts. I talked to him afterward, and there was something in the way he was standing and looking at m e.. .1 was almost shaking! (Suddenly blurt ing) I made a meeting with him for next.week. I’m going to see...what happens. SARA (gasping): What are you talking about, ‘see what happens?’ I’ll tell ya what’s going to hap pen... (she snaps her gum she has been chewing) That’s what’s going

to happen! It’s going to blow up in your face! Oh, girl, why you being so goddamn stupid? MICHELLE (looking off in the distance): I don’t think it will be that bad...but why try to think of bad thoughts? We’ll see what hap pens... What will happen next? Will Michael finally talk to Michelle? Will Dr. Roberts make a move on Michelle?W ill Michelle make a move on Dr. Roberts? W ill Benjamin throw a wrench into Michael’s schemes? Vote for your favourite plot twist at www.mcgilltribune.com and tune in next week...

Clairvoyant reveals details of 'remote viewing' By Wendy Kale Colorado Daily (U. Colorado)

BOULDER, Colo. - You can bet that the U.S. government is using remote viewing to track down Osama bin Laden. Remote Viewing is the gov ernment-based program that was better known as "Stargate" during the Cold War days, when the United States was playing count er-intelligence spy games with Russia. The U.S. program was "officially" disbanded in the '90s, but graduates from the program have gone on to run their own companies — and some allegedly

still work covertly for the govern ment. The federal government was hesitant about using the word psy chic when they were tuning into enemy spy activities, so they coined the phrase "remote view ing." That translates into training people to use their intuitive abili ties to psychically see events, places and people at long-range. During the Cold War remote viewers were trained to look for enemy spy movements, and some say the government is still using this psychic ability to view volatile activities in the Mid East. However, many graduates of the Army remote viewing program are now using the science to find

missing people, diagnosis medical problems, and to cultivate plane tary consciousness. One of the best-known grad uates of the "Stargate" program is F. Holmes "Skip" Atwater. He was a lieutenant in the Army working in the counter-intelligence pro grams and helped initiate the "Stargate" remote viewing pro gram in the '80s. He used his clairvoyant abilities in counter-spy work and developed a new branch of army intelligence. These days, Atwater is the Research Director at the Monroe Institute. The non-profit organi zation is known for its work in Please see MILITARY, page 10

Features 10

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, January 15, 2002

M ilitary intelligence leads to inner eye continued from PAGE 9

providing educational programs and research in the field of human consciousness. Atwater tours the country and teaches others to real ize their own spiritual potential. Atwater has also been a guest on Art Bell's late-night radio show, appeared in A&E's TV show "Psychic Spies," and "Beyond Death," The Learning Channel's "Ancient Astronauts" show, and been interviewed in "Nexus" mag azine. Sunday he will host a special seminar in Boulder, Colo. Atwater's upbringing led him down the path that eventually led to Stargate. "I grew up in the New Thought movement as a child, and went to Unity churches," said Atwater. "But I got into remote viewing in an unusual way. It was the time of the military draft in the '60s. I couldn't get hired for a reg ular job, so I just decided to join the Army. I know that sounds pret ty screwy —it was just the start of

seeming coincidences in my life," explained Atwater. Atwater ended up spending 20 years in the Army, eventually gravitating toward military intelli gence. "They had a program called 'M ind Reach,"' said Atwater. "They didn't want it to have an occult name, and it eventually became the 'Stargate' program. I had always had psychic experiences as a kid, so this wasn't that different, and remote viewing made perfect sense to me." Atwater actually served in the unit with another Art Bell guest — Ed Dames. The original format of the program would use three Army intelligence officers. One would serve as the remote viewer, one as the interviewer, and one would hide somewhere in the city. The two remaining soldiers were locked in a room, and theywould have to psychically tune into the random location where the other officer

was located. "Nobody knew at that time where the location was at that appointed time," said Atwater. "What will surprise people is the fact that you don't get crisp, clear pictures when you do remote view ing. It's more based on your intu ition, and your surprising notions. You may get the colors red and yel low, smell food, hear traffic sounds, and get the impression of a clown -- and it ends up being McDonald's." For that reason, Atwater says, remote viewing was always used in conjunction with other forms of intelligence gathering. ^ "When we used all our sources, we were able to find ter rorists, solve kidnap cases, and find weapons locations," says Atwater. "As the years went by, the program was not only used for the Cold War, but we discovered a new Soviet sub and helped the Drug Enforcement Agency. Remote viewing is not the be all and end

all, but when you add telephone tapes, photos and inside agent information, you have a complete intelligence picture." Interestingly enough, when asked if the government was using remote viewers in the current Mid East situation, Atwater doggedly answered, "Even if I knew, I wouldn't be able to tell you." However, the average Boulderite isn't going to be psychi cally tuning terrorists, and Atwater's local program will instead teach participants how to use remote viewing to tap into their own consciousness. Atwater is a graduate of the Monroe Institute, a non-profit organization that studies the evolu tion of consciousness. It is there that he saw a new direction and purpose for his life, and where he got the idea for his book, "Captain of My Ship, Master of My Soul." "It's the story of my remote viewing work, and my belief that there is something beyond us that

S c ie n c e C arnival Superfluous nipples and projectile vomiting

creates the direction in our lives," says Atwater. "There is a realm that goes beyond our physicalness, and we need to explore the spiritual side of ourselves. We need to take personal responsibility for our lives, and learn how to take a cre ative approach to life." Atwater will tell his story story and teach his remote viewing tech niques when he appears in Boulder Sunday in an afternoon seminar at Unity Church. Atwater will explain the remote viewing tech niques that he learned in the Army, give a historic background on the subject, and will let participants experiment with remote viewing exercises. "I hope to dispel all the myths and misunderstandings about remote viewing," says Atwater. "I think that if people try this out, we'll find some people are really good at it. The value of remote viewing is if you can describe any far off situation, then you can cre ate a definition of who and what you are. People need to realize that they're greater than their own physical beings, and that's what studying remote viewing will do for you. It just broadens the pic ture of who you are." *

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a r t s & en t e r t a n m e n t T u e s d a y , J a n u a r y 15, 2 0 0 2

3ouble-punch...Vanilla Sky and The Royal Tenenbaums Eric Warwaruk

Lately I have been struck with a slight case of narcolepsy. No, I Lave not been sleeping with dead i ople—too dry for my taste. No, s gh; simple sudden fits of sleepi ness have overtaken me, and my friends have grown accustomed to my Jekyll and Snore routine. Either the fake organic coffee is to blame, or I have become horribly bored with the movies that have 1 en coming out lately. Although my brain tells me the good money is on fake organic coffee, some where waaaaaay down in my galoshy gut I have realised life is just too strange to contemplate any more. I mean, what’s the point, eh? (Collective shrug) Exactly my point. And what better way to expe rience the utter futility and mean inglessness of life than through the eyes of Cameron Crowe and Wes Anderson, who do their aesthetic best to inject some meaning into this whole wide world? You know them: writers/directors of Almost Famous and Rushmore, respectively. Tales of Nabokovian Seventies pet-rock-love and an operatic three-act wank-fest with idiosyncrasy, respectively. Good films, respectively. But not specifically concerned with that question—the meaning of life-— which, similarly, is what both their newest respective releases are about: the lint that Hollywood seems to like picking out of its belly-button and looking at curiously for the last five years. Both, in other words, are exploring the implications of living

in our post-modernist world: what do we do when we have no concept of God, or no meaning in general? Vanilla Sky Minute Plot: Tom Cruise plays rich playboy-heir-boy of dead dad/publishing giant. Sleeps with Cameron Diaz, but she’s nutto; then meets and falls in love with Penelope Cruz, spends one perfect evening with her; after that evening, gets in car with crazy-love sick Diaz, where upon she drives off a bridge, and kills herself and perma nently disfigures Tom. Tom tries to get back with Penelope, but shal low creature she is, she won’t get with him; but then she becomes un-shal low, especially when new plastic surgery is invented, and Tom’s beautiful face is restored. They live happily ever after, until Penelope begins suddenly changing into Cameron. Oh, what is going on? Doesn’t the world make any sense at all? Yay! Key to the Film: "What does Happiness mean to you?" The Royal Tenenbaums Minute Plot: Three genius kids, Ben Stiller/financial wizard, Gwyneth Paltrow/Nobel-prize winning play wright, Luke Wilson/tennis prodi gy. One unloving, smoking, litiga tor dad, Royal. Royal goes away, not to come back for another waydown-the-road day. Kids grow up,

get fucked up. Chas/Stiller’s wife dies in plane accident, he becomes obsessed with safety of his two kids; Margot/Gwyneth marries weird psychiatrist/writer Bill Murray, and suffers from writer’s block; Richie/Luke Wilson throws away tennis career because of his love for his adopted sister

These films’ answer to mean inglessness is the utter individual creation of the world. Hence, in Vanilla Sky, this creation is actually presented in the narrative of the movie, with the cyrogenic plotlicorice-dream-your-reality twist (don’t ask). Anderson with his film is a megalomaniac God, manipulat

Margot/Gwyneth. But it’s all so whimsical and sweet-sad-funny! Gene Hackman/Royal Tenenbaum decides he wants the family back, tries to win back separated wife/Anjelica Huston, who is engaged to landlord/accountant Danny Glover, by faking a terminal illness. These are the dots; now con nect ‘em. Key to the Film: Anderson’s most overt and oft-used directorial stylistic tactic: the intent focus on the character’s face, reducing it, yet imbuing it, with cartoon-like densi ty

ing tenderly his one-dimensional creations like a puppet-master his puppets, while airbrushing his obvi ous fondness for filmic touches that refer to old-style theatre along with breaks in the narrative (such as compressing structural history with the use of title cards, imaginative camera shots, and sudden narrative digressions). Yet, both films col lapse under their own groaning and sweaty weight. Yep: I didn’t love ‘em too much. Don’t get me wrong: in my hierarchical scale of movies, these two movies are still up there, and

all time," a declaration I completely agree with. This may be partially due to a certain unbelievability in the char acters, Pfeiffer’s in particular. She portrays her lawyer character in the most clichéd way imaginable—as the cutthroat "I don’t care about anything but making tons of money” type that you’ve seen so many times before. Influenced by the unquestioning love of Penn for his daughter, she gradually learns the shallowness of her values and is able to re-evaluate her own faltering relationship with her young son, also 7 years of age. Anyone who thinks this plot sounds familiar, hands up. Much will no doubt be made of Penn’s portrayal of the mentallyhandicapped Dawson, and for good reason—this was an extremely chal lenging role, and Penn was more than up to the task, able to display an astonishingly wide range of emo tions while still only expressing himself in the language of a 7-yearold. This character seems far more in line with his recent goal of taking on more challenging roles than that reprehensible one he plaÿs in Friends (which he ironically took on

almost immediately after he accused former buddy Nick Cage of "selling out"). Still, one can’t help but long for the more spirited and fun roles of his younger days (Jeff Spicolli, anyone?). Certain effective thematic ele ments emerge as well. Nelson does a good job of paralleling Dawson’s forced isolation from society due to his disability with Harrison’s chosen isolation achieved through her choice of lifestyle. The unifying bond between them, which seems rather outrageous at first (partially because they meet under rather ridiculous circumstances), eventual ly emerges as very credible and sur prisingly moving—by the end of

clearly beyond Mariah Carey’s stab at filmdom {Glitter). But both movies struck me as being jumbled: the feeling that everything has not been tied up to anyone’s satisfac tion. And the reason for this illwearing-suit feeling is the emphasis of style over plot in the exploration of the meaning of life, which some how, for some reason, means fuck ing with the linear and logical movement of normal film (or word, ahem) structure: as war movies akin in motive such as Catch-22 and Armageddon now have already shown us. Can it be done better, though? Good question— one these films don’t quite answer. Two aspects rescue the films for me: in Vanilla Sky, there is almost a subversive message Tom Cruise conveys about the relation ship between the attraction of stardom/beauty and the repulsion of ugliness (for example, one can imagine Tom Cruise suddenly turn ing to the audience with his disfig ured face and going, "Well, do you love me now? Think I’m worth 20 million a movie now, huh, ya fickle bastards!). In one scene of The Royal Tenenbaums, tennis pro Richie/Luke Wilson throws his game after finding out Margot/Gwyneth just married writer/psychiatrist Raleigh St. Clair. He takes off his shoes and socks, gives an underhand-middle-finger serve, then throws his racket at the return ball. Me and one other guy laughed Uproariously in the halffull theatre. A beautiful mome— Snorrreee...

I am Sam's eternal clichés Peter Koven

where other cinematic elements go virtually ignored by director Jessie Nelson. This would be fine in itself if the sentiment seemed powerful and genuine, and often it does, but all too often it devolves into the

Legitimate sentiment. Phony sentimentality. Both essential to the Hollywood experience for sure, and both big parts of I Am Sam. I Am Sam (out January 25th) is, of course, the long-awaited scan fENN michelle PFEIFFER Sean Penn-Michelle Pfeiffer star vehicle featuring the mentallychallenged Sam Dawson (Penn) taking on the job of single father of his newborn child Lucy after being abandoned by her mother, and then fighting a custody battle when authorities attempt to take her away from him at age 7 (at which point her intellect already exceeds his own). He then unerr ingly enlists the aid of lawyer Rita Harrison (Pfeiffer) who attempts to reunite father and daughter, I and many sentiment-based hijinks of course ensue. If that description makes the film’s plot seem rather bare, that is because it is. Like most films deal ing with mental deficiencies and Insipid sentimentality nauseates the power that bond people {Rain ■ Man, for example), I Am Sam relies almost exclusively on jerking tears type of phony sentimentality that from its audience, to the point made the New York Times refer to Pay it Forward as "the worst film of

ia m s a m

the film, the viewer is really not cer tain who to feel more sorry for. And somewhere amid all the cliches there are some truly power ful moments. The most important theme of the film is simply the fact that "love conquers all," and the script does an excellent job of show ing how Sam’s unconditional love for his child is far more important than anything a foster parent could offer her. The predictably tear-jerk ing final scenes really help hammer this point home, and can almost make up for all the phoniness that came before it. Almost.

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The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, January 15, 2002

disc Reviews

Various Artists The Funky 16 Corners Stones Throw Records STH2038 All of a sudden there are a lot of easily found funk compilations. Take a trip to Rotation or Mojo and you’ll find shelves full of comps offering solid selections of dusty funk gems. With the exception of Keb Darge’s releases, not one of the albums begins to compare with the

funky brilliance that is Egon’s The Funky 16 Comers. Why is this compila tion better than so many others? Every track is licensed. Beyond the obvi ous costs, it can be extraor dinarily difficult to hunt down the artists and record labels necessary to license rare and forgotten tracks for inclusion on a compilation. As such, most compilers forgo these legalities and simply press quasi bootlegs for an eager and unscrupu lous listenership while the artists whose music makes such albums possible gain nothing. Not so with The Funky 16 Corners. Egon tire lessly sought out each artist and made certain that they stood to benefit from his album’s profits. This makes Funky 16 guiltless and all the sweeter sounding for it. O f course, the compilation is about funk and the funk comes no better. The Co Real Artists’ ‘What About You (In The World Today)’ is one insane two minute and fiftyone second drum break with a phe nomenally tight rap that predates the genres inception by a good ten years. The track simply burns and

is already on its way to a permanent home in many a selector’s crate of all-time favourites. The Highlighter’s Band’s ‘The Funky 16 Corners’ is simply one of the funki est tracks ever and has a break so sweaty, so drenched in pure funk bliss, that it defies you not to move. This is funk music at its very best. Another of the compilations strengths is the exhaustive liner notes penned with obvious care by Egon. So often the stories behind bands included on rare funk compi lations are ignored by lazy (or igno rant) compilers and so it is a great pleasure to have such informationrich annotations. Friends, this is definitely one record to buy. If nothing else, it’ll prep you for Egon’s upcoming Montreal appear ance. As soon as the Trib gets the details we’ll share them because there is no collection in the world that rivals Egon’s crates of 45s. Don’t miss it -Dan Zacks

knows who the enemy is / ’Cause he never goes in hiding/He’s slitting our throats right in front of our eyes/While we pull the casket he’s riding?" Well, consider yourself advised. That said, this 2001 reis sue of the Left Rev. McDaniels (‘Feel Like Making Love,’ ‘Compared to What’) rather insane ly paranoid album Headless Hunters o f the Apocalypse on Label M should find a place on your list of CDs to buy with your Winter Holiday gift certificates and store credits. This is wildly funky psychedelic soul at its political best. Rumour has it that Nixon’s second-in-command Spiro Agnew was so outraged by this album that he personally made a call to Atlantic records to get it pulled. And though the sediment has been settling in this album over thirty years on the rare-groove col lectors’ racks, the lyrics about con

A&E 13

spiracy, Native American extermi nation, and resurrection come across as radical as ever. The heavy groove drives relentlessly through this album, with liberal helpings of Jimi Hendrix thrown in for extra psychedelic legitimacy. Buy it, and awaken to the white male military/industrial conspiracy control ling our every thought. -Matt Frassica

SPRING BREAK!!! Daytona Beach

Eugene McDaniels Headless Heroes o f the Apocalypse Label M Did you know that ' nobody

Flo rida

This week we suggest you start going to class. We know most of them are stupid large and frequent ly quite without any value, but so it goes. Go to at least one or two. While there’s nothing particu larly brilliant scheduled for the next eight days, this is a good time to enjoy the regular nights that make Montreal winters tolerable. We’re talking Therapy Thursdays at Jello Bar, Brass Knuckles Friday at Blizzarts, Brazillian Sundays at Bobards, and so on. Appreciate

them now, because before you know it there will be a slew of spe cial nights guaranteed to pique interests and steal cover dollars. January and early February alone have Vikter Duplaix, Metro Area, Trevo Walker, Freeworm, the Soul Fire djs and Egon lined up. Sweet!

o eO O h

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sweaty dancefloors aren’t your scene then the Tribune would like to announce the first moves towards the formation of the McGill Tiki Club. Yes, a McGill club dedicated to all things gloriously Tiki, from music to mugs, and of course, to the Queen of the Mixed Drink, the Mai Tai. All interested hipsters and savvy retro connoisseurs should send their details to Don Tiki at mcgilltiki@yahoo.ca. Montreal is a veritable hot-bed ofTiki action and the McGill Tiki Club will enjoy it to the fullest. Long live the Tiki! Editor-in-Chief Rhea Wong lends her personal seal of approval to Dr. Tom’s Leather, January 17 at Club Zone. Rhea is a regular scenestress and so she’s hip to what all the cool kiddies are doing. Be cool and go to the concert. Ass-Ed-in-Chief Mike Bargav

FOR JANUARY 8.2002 Tim Hecker - Haunt Me Haunt Me Do It Again - Substractif CC Langley Schools Music Project - Innocence & Despair - Bar-None CC Sam Shalabi - O n Hashish - Alien8 CC HRSTA - L'eclat du ciel était insoutenable Fancy CC De La Soul - AOI: Bionix - Tommy Boy Rocky Votolato - Burning My Travels Clean Second Nature Jim O'Rourke - Insignificance - Drag City Fred Anderson - O n The Run - Delmark Silver Jews - Bright Flight - Drag City Roots Manuva - Run Come Save Me - Big Dada/ Ninjatune Various - Anti-NY - Gomma/ fusion iii A Silver Mt. Zion - Born Into Trouble... Constellation CC Gillian Welch - Time (The Revelator) Acony/ Stony Plain Bonobo - animal magic - ninja tune Various - Flying Side Kick: Home Alive II Brokken Rekkids Sun Ra - Nuclear War (reissue) - atavistic

unheard music series Bullfrog - Bullfrog - Ropeadope CC Various - Superrappin' vol.2 - Groove Attack/ Fusion iii negativland - these guys are from england & who gives a shit - seelard donnacha costello - together is the new alone - force tracks/fusion iii the african brothers - want some freedom easy star scott tuma - hard again - truckstop Papa M - Whatever, Mortal - Drag City Vandermark 5 - Acoustic Machine - Atavistic m. gira/d. matz - what we did - young god Per Mission - A Ritual Loop - Monitor Anti-Pop Consortium - the ends against the middle ep - Warp Windsor For The Derby - the awkwardness ep - aesthetics X-Ecutioners - Built From Scratch (sampler) Loud Liars - They Threw Us All In A Trench.. Gern Blandsten

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would like to remind us that to due to this winter’s wildly varying tem peratures we should exercise extra caution when playing near streams, creaks, rivers, and ponds. Ice isn’t always as thick as it looks, friends, so please, be careful. Mike’s co-Ass-Ed-in-Chief, Neil S. offers sage words of advice as well: “With the cold weather lubrication is extremely important. Use vaseline to avoid chafing.” Wise words from a wise man. Finally, from the Tribune’s photography department, Patrick Fok reminds us that while winter offers tremendously good light, the cold weather can quickly drain camera batteries. When taking your candid photographs in the outdoors, do keep your cameras toasty while arranging the models. Also, naked flesh sticks to metal!

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14 A&E

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, January 15, 2002

Christmas: I gave a lot of records and got a lot of records. Here’s how it worked out. G ave

Enrico Morricone 2001 (CD) If you don’t care too much for music I recommend any record by

Enrico Morricone. Particularly one of the many ‘best o f...’ style re issues which come complete with great packaging, re-master ing, etc... This is the exact rea son I picked up this record for my dad. He had practiAo cally worn A C out the ' laser playing C Brubek’s Take Five over and over again so he desperate ly needed something new. He, being the type who likes to listen to the stereo more than the music, needed some thing completely likable and hence the afore mentioned record as a gift. Morricone was the hand behind loads of successful film music of the

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60’s, including many recognizable tunes from westerns and slightly trashy films. Descriptions such as "ultra-lounge kitsch" and "sexy lounge" could easily be rephrased along the lines o f‘soft and non-pro truding sound.’ Perfect for dads into opera/jazz/classical/rock.

Beach Boys Pet Sounds (CD) (Capitol) Call and Response s/t (Kindercore) Gave these to my brother, one classic and one instant classic. Can’t go wrong. Holiday Flyer I Hope (CD) (Darla) Still playing classic Twee sounds of the early 90’s, Holiday Flyer is the kind of band that you see turn up on tip sheets over and over again. Completely focused on a great tune this record teeters per fectly on boredom, nostalgia and acoustic guitar. The band sticks to classic instrumentation with a bit organ way back in the mix as well the occasional flute and cello played by Verna Brock of Beanpole.fame.

Chorus back up vocals complement perfect female lead singing. All remains somewhat calm and relaxed, drifting along with that well-known head-bobbing indie rock goodness. I might recommend this as a gift to any crush.

Panty Boy Orgy o f the Senses (CD/CASS) (Aloha) Another set of bedroom hits. Orgy of the Senses boasts a list of tracks both infectious and intricate with fistfuls of instruments and tape hiss. Somehow, despite a most ly "funrock" attitude, Panty Boy delivers the occasional sincerity that makes this record desirable. Filled with one-finger keyboard lines, good machine rock beats and fuzzed-out yet quiet bedroom vocals all patched together on home equipment, the tracks manage some transparency allowing multiple lis tens. Meanwhile, fairly technical (yet not abused) guitar playing leads to some very good song writ ing. This record is poorly distrib uted so more info can be found at alohamedia.net.

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Kleenex/LiLiPUT s/t (2CD) (Kill Rock Stars) This record made almost everyone’s end of year top ten lists which is rather impressive for a re issue especially in a year that saw 180g re-issues of Neu and Sun Ra. Why would hipsters (people who make top ten lists) rather hear slop py two chord German punk rock from ‘78-’83 than the tried, tested and true cool stuff? This collection makes it all quite clear, a near com plete discography of jarring femi nine early spazz punk rock. Songs are built out of repetitive variations on a theme, both in timbre and form, which results in simplistic songs that don’t wear themselves out. Lyrics are mostly in broken English, not as an attempt for the American/British market but rather as a method for the band to write with a sense of freedom, essentially not knowing exactly what they were saying. This 2 CD set is essential for any punk rock fan and anyone who likes to dance to rock music. Note for hipsters: features a foreword by Kim Gordon. Jon Cougar Concentration Camp Victoria’s Secret Sauce (7") (Mutant Pop) My favourite band name of all time. They kind of suck along the lines of boring so-cal 1996 skate punk, which is exactly what it is. I think this was re-gifted to me. The Ewoks/The Lottie Collins s/t (7") (Magic Teeth) Some things never change. For xample: west coast hilarity/west oast punk rock. The Ewoks are an 11 girl organ/drum number like the doblins without the talent. Not to ,ay that their side of the 7" is worth auying, but 4 of the 5 songs they do are no more than a glossed over re hashed Hit it! (see We are the Goblins!). Luckily, the opening track, Super Mario Bros. 3, is an amazing piece of pop (not poop). The Ewoks manage to obtain just the right mix of organ chords, ride cymbal twister beats and great lyrics-the song is about the good qualities of each member of the band. The Lottie Collins manage to be wholly bad, even ruining the classic Coasters tune ‘That is Rock and Roll’ (see Smugglers’ Time Machine comp, track).

We of th e A rts and E n terta in m e n t section are seeking an A rt colum nist. If interested, send an em ail to tribune@ ssm u.m cgill.ca or drop by S h a tn er 110 an d ask for Peter, D an or El Guapo. T hank you for reading th is public service announcem ent.

The M cG ill Tribune, Tuesday, January 15 20 0 2

Deconstruction—Episode II Rambo III Peter Koven: Following the enormous success o f our deconstruc tion o/Screwballs last week, we o f the A&E section have now attempted a far more ambitious project— the most politically relevant film o f our time, Rambo III. Picture this scene: the great, nandroloned John Rambo, preparing to save his captured friend from a Soviet P.O.W camp in Afghanistan, sitting in a semi-circle with the leaders o f the Mujahadeen— those same individuals who would later form the American-andWoman-loving Taliban. As the dra matic music sinks in, Masoud, the spokesperson for the Mujahadeen, describes the plight o f his people at the hands o f their Commie oppressors emotionally, forcefully: MASOUD: My name is Masoud. You must not judge us before you understand why we are not ready to help. Most Afghan people are very strong and we are determined not to be driven from our land. Our children die from disease, mines, and poison gas, and the women are raped and killed. Last year in the next valley over, 6000 Afghans were killed. Pregnant women were captured as bandits, and their children were thrown into the fires. This is done so that they will not have to fight the next gen eration of Afghans, but nobody says anything or reads anything about it in the papers. But what you see here are the Mujahadeen soldiers, the Holy Warriors. This is a Holy War, but there is no true death for the Mujahadeen, because we have taken our last rights and consider our selves dead already. This death for our land and God is enormous. So, my friend, what you must do is stop this killing of our women and chil dren. If getting this man free so he can return to the free world and say what happens here, of course we will help. Leave us now so we may speak among us and find the best way to free this man.

struggle over the nature of his own being. At the beginning of the film, Rambo engages in a violent stick fight in front of a crowd of specta tors while his old superior officer looks on. Later the man finds him at the Buddhist monastery where Rambo has chosen to spend his days. His life is torn between brief bouts of violence, and long periods of peaceful contemplation among the Communist monks. Rambo believes his fighting days are over, but his old com mander tells him that Rambo has always been an invincible killing machine; the U.S. Military simply facilitated this development. Within days, after the Soviets cap ture his com m and er, Rambo goes into Afghanistan to rescue him, joining forces with the Mujahadeen in their Holy War against the Soviets, gaining their trust by winning a game of tackle goatsketball. In short while he will engage the entire Soviet Military in warfare with nothing more than a sweaty mullet and a Kalashnikov, and in victory comes to peace with his true nature, before going off to another place, to kill more Communists.

Christian Lander: "God would have mercy. John Rambo won't!" The tagline to Rambo III was per haps the most moving statement to emerge from 1988. These words strongly imply that Rambo is as powerful as God, maybe even more powerful, but has less compassion and is slightly more evil than the father in Heaven. How can we believe that evil could sprout from a man sporting God’s chosen haircut (all popular representations of God and Jesus, show the two men with modified mullets)? The truth is that it’s impossible for Rambo to do any work on the side of evil, and a close analysis of RAMBO (holding back tears): the film reveals that Rambo is, in fact, more benevolent and filled Thank you. with more pure goodness than God himself. MASOUD: Thank you. Rambo was not the one who Whew, we cant make this stuff allowed the USSR to become pow up, people. Omar would be proud o f erful enough to oppress the good this film I ’m sure, i f he wasn’t too busy people of Afghanistan, it was God. ass-dodging American artillery to go Rambo did not allow politics and see it. Anyway, in case this isn’t international relations get in the enough to make you want to rush o ff way of America’s duty to bring free and see this modern masterpiece right dom to the third world, God did away, I will now turn thefloor over to that. It is plain to see that God has been responsible for making the our collective commentary. mess that John Rambo has to clean David Schanzle: The Rambo up. Once the action of the film series has always been about John Rambo’s fight with Communism, starts one cannot help noticing that from his horrifying Vietnam flash a lot of the evil Russians have been backs, to his eventual victory of the permitted to live past childhood. In Vietnam War. The sheer existence spite of all of their intolerable acts of Rambo is even a rebuke to col of oppression, these people are still lectivism and cooperation. Could a permitted to live under the laws of society that treats all individuals as God. In other words, committing if they had the same talents create a an evil act does not necessarily one-man army like Rambo? In mean instant death. On the other Rambo III, however, co-writer/star end of this spectrum, being a kind Stallone takes this battle to another and gentle person does not guaran level with John Rambo’s identity tee a long and prosperous life.

Seemingly, this is a ridiculous hands-off policy by God, one that no one should be forced to live under. In the world of Rambo, how ever, the unjust are always punished to the fullest extent, be it through guns, knives, beatings, or even explosive-tipped arrows. A close examination of the film reveals that no man within a one-mile radius of Rambo is permitted to commit an injustice without either being killed or knocked unconscious. Conversely, if someone who is a good person, like a child or a single mother, does die or is hurt within this one mile radius of Rambo, he will personally avenge their death/tragedy. A service not often (if ever) performed by God. John Rambo makes sure that people get what they deserve in an extreme form (i.e. death or bloody vengeance). Because of this, most evildoers would rather have their final judgment doled out by God and not Rambo, because Rambo can see through the lies. With this point proven over one hundred times in each Rambo movie, it is hard to make a case for God’s supe riority to our true saviour John Rambo. What then the

orientation. Yet Rambo must strug gle daily with the reality that as a professional soldier, he is sworn to defend the values of a country that would repress his primal need to have sweaty sex with men. To find peace, Rambo forsakes his sexuality by joining a Buddhist monastery where the monks are old, celibate and quite obviously impotent. But this is in vain and the love-god is drawn to the city where he stick fights, ostensibly to raise money for the monks. O f course, these fights are not about the monks and the imagery is potent. With overtly phallic weapons, clutched suggestively in each hand, two musclebound men fight. They beat each other down with the very source of their forbidden pleasure in a sort of ritualised sadomasochis tic sex act that ultimately amounts to no more than futile self-flagella tion. The straight Man wins. Regardless, McDonald and Stallone end their movie with a message of hope. After several scenes rife with various penetrations and probings (Rambo charging through narrow sewers, Rambo exploring a dark cave) the film cul minates in the ultimate manifesta tion of Rambo’s pure love-godli ness— Rambo pilots a tank with a particularly long and thick and pointed gun barrel into the head of his nemesis and the representation of all things repressive, the Soviet commander who find his end in a potent, fiery erup tion. Best of all, in an acknowledgement of NAMBLA’s

har d

ul t i mat e solution? Rambo IV: The Celestial Showdown. Rambo vs. God in one final battle to settle all scores. Remember that Rambo has been forced to watch friends and family members die, he can’t be happy about this. He needs vengeance, and though he has done an excellent job of extracting it on Earth, he needs it against the entity with the most accountability. The winner of this battle would be one who is purest in his heart: John Rambo. Rambo may also have lingering bitterness to god, because in the third installment of the Saga, we find our hero working in a Buddhist Monastery. Dan Zacks: Rambo III only vaguely concerns Americans help ing the Taliban fight Soviets. The film is almost embarrassingly frank about director Peter McDonald and scriptwriter Sly Stallone’s desperate need to use the aptly Spartan plot of their magnum opus as a means to consider Rambo’s place as a homo sexual love-god within the interna tional phallocracy. First the obvious: there are exactly three women in Rambo III. More precisely, in Rambo III there is one woman for every 34 minutes of film. And what a role these women play! We see only the subju gated eyes of one and the heads of the others who, serving as sex-slaves in a Soviet prison, submit to lovegod Rambo’s will by providing two monosyllabic grunts to indicate the location of his lover Colonel Trautman. Rambo moves in a man’s world and a movie about women this is not. While the near absence of women indicates the overwhelming degree to which Rambo’s world honours the phallus, it is still one that favours heterosexuals. This cre ates for Rambo an identity crisis of epic proportions. As a love-god, he is very much defined by his sexual

wo r k , Rambo culti vates a deep friendship with a young, prepubescent Taliban child.

A&E 15

avant-gardists such as Burroughs concentrate an attack on language that is syntaxical—finding their true expression in the grammatical breakdown of language. Either way, the crux of this trend is that to truly express oneself, one must abandon the web of words, images, and meanings that serve only to create a fool’s dream. John Rambo is perhaps the best example of this linguistic death and rebirth. Where the European spy uses the silenced automatic, Rambo uses a hand-head deathalizer of numbing magnitude. Where the European spy works in slick silence, Rambo does so in shirtless cacophony. Rambo is not a man of words...but rather one predisposed to the relendess generation of noise that drowns out words. In the opening stick fight it is the roar of the crowd, in the Monastery he is seen using a hammer on metal, and in all the other scenes, whether it is the roar of the helicopter or the explosiveness of the assault rifle, speech in the standard sense is con sistently rendered impossible. Thus Rambo redefines the scope of human expression, acting as harbin ger to the prophecy that the only true language is the abandonment and destruction of it. DS: Rambo III may be one of the last true 80’s action pictures. Unlike the Die Hard epic with it’s realistic violence, competent acting and decent writing, Rambo III harks to war movie made in a dif ferent time. A time when Russians could always be counted on as ene mies, and you could always spot the leader because he had the thickest Russian accent of the group and looked just like Lenin. In these movies, the hero always became invincible when he lost his shirt, revealing his anabolic steroid enhanced physique, and men firing machine guns gained accuracy by yelling wildly, where grenades could explode any object you needed them to. In these movies, the hero always knows how to operate mod ern enemy equipment, despite his lack of knowledge on their language or symbology. Many consider the Rambo series to be slightly superior to big Arnold’s Commando but that’s only because Rambo can fight entire armies with knifes, while Schwarzenneger needs rocket launchers, maching guns, swords, explosives, assault rifles, etc.

Mike Bargav: With postmod ernism one witnesses the break down between the relationship that ties together content, and the image the content translates into. Take a blue book for example, keeping in sync with established trends. In terms of content it is a book. ..but what really is a book...a word...thus is ‘book’ the word important, or is the content itself important...furthermore, what is blue...another word. Thus all we have is a sea of words that describe This article is dedicated to content. The words themselves in the postmodernist sense are prob Deconstruction Crew member, WWF lematic. I mean, how does one con lover, and Features editor Raquel struct a complex set of descriptive Kirsch, unfortunately out o f action and ascriptive associations that goes this week due to illness. Get well soon! beyond things that are at best arbi trary valuations. Truly, the 20th century has been one of the break down of language as a de facto legitimate tool of expression. Americana of the past centu ry as I see it has been an exercise in systematic linguistic deconstruc tionism. But it goes much further than this...far enough that | through the destruction of ‘lan guage’ in the contemporary sense, a new, purer language is created. Huckleberry Finn, sailing through the social flotsam and jetsam of the Mississippi turns to nature and natural phenomena as his alterna tive to a language wrought with nuance and deception. The ! Harlem Renaissance finds its lin guistic expression in the smooth flow of jazz. Hunter S. Thompson finds his linguistic expression not in words but in the dizzying irridisence of mescaline and amyls. Taking it even another step, f m coming for you Lambchop..

Les Boys win a penalty-filled contest Sarah Wright

What do two delay of game penalties, one ejection, 92 penalty minutes, 13 goals and a hat trick add up to? A McGill win and three rather unusual hours of hockey. The Redmen concluded the past weekend with their eighth win in nine games by defeating the Concordia Stingers by a score of 85. The game was a high scoring, hard hitting, exciting affair fought between two teams that have sus tained a competitive rivalry since Concordia was established in the sixties. The competition was evenly matched from the outset, but quickly turned in McGill’s favour with the help of a very productive first power play line. “Our first power play unit of Bruno Lemire, Paul Theriault and captain David Burgess have been incredibly successful this year,” said head coach Martin Raymond. “And I know they’ll continue to be our top line.” Paul Theriault had a five point night with three goals and two assists while both Burgess and Lemire had a goal and three assists. As a team, the Redmen scored on

six of their eleven power play chances and though it was not pret ty, were able to defend the Stingers on most of their chances. While neither team denied their power play opportunities, the players saw a problem with the overactive whistle. “We were able to capitalize on a lot of our power plays, which helped us a lot,” said rookie Bruno Lemire. “Where on the other side of things, it takes away from our momentum as a team.” The Concordia-McGill match up has typically been very physical and fast paced. Although this par ticular meeting had a choppier, rock’em sock’em feel to it, speed and aggressive play was still present. “We’re very fast and very in your face,” said defenseman Adam Shell. “We’re not big, but we’re fast and relentless and when you take on one of us, you are going to get a bunch of us.” Some may say that it is the longstanding rivalry shared by McGill and Concordia that pro duced such a highly penalized game, but according to Lemire, that’s not it at all. “It’s a Quebec thing. The Quebec league has always been like that with a lot of penalties.” he said

with a grin. “I think the Quebec referees might be a bit stricter.” In the previous night's actions, the Redmen won rather routinely by a score of 3-1 against the Ottawa Gee-Gees, a game in which Burgess, Scott Giroux and Grégoire LeBlanc each added a goal to their

totals. The team’s fatigue took its toll in the third period against Concordia. “It’s human nature to get slop py when you’re tired,” said Lemire

position of netminding for the Redmen, a rare happening for play ers at the university level. “We go weekend to weekend with our goalies,” said Raymond. “They’re both great players who are equally reliable and as long as they both play well, we’ll continue the rotation we’ve had all season.” The rotation method is not something Raymond holds strictly to goalkeeping. “If everybody is playing well, than I think we’re just that much more of a stronger team, so I want to use everybody. The team is doing great because the players have really accepted using everybody and rotating guys into the line-up and giving everybody a chance to play.” The depth of talent the Redmen display reaches far into the team’s line-up. This is a new devel opment for a team that in past years struggled to find a number of con sistent goal scorers. With a 12-7-2 record overall, the McGill Redmen are on a role winning all of their four road-trip decisions since the New Year began. three minutes at the very end of the Even though the team’s latest victo third period that cut in p his team’s ry might have been accomplished in a somewhat messy fashion, a win is lead Valliancourt and teammate a win is a win. Murray Cobb share the first string

about his team’s slapdash play at the end of the game. “It was a long game and we were really tired from the night before in Ottawa.” As a result of some unfortunate give-aways that resulted in lone man breaks, goalie Luc Vallaincourt allowed three goals in the span of

Pride of Montreal lies in a two-team battle Latest chapter in McGill-Concordia grudge match to go this Saturday Mark Kerr

Travel to any major city where two teams compete against each other in the same sport, and there’s a good chance you will experience the sports phenomenon known as the cross-town rivalry. For the uninitiated, these rival ries are by no means brotherly love affairs. For example, New York Rangers fans to this day still chant “Potvin Sucks” in reference to the Islander great Denis Potvin. Over twenty years ago Potvin broke the ankle of star Ulf Nilsson. Fans of the Blueshirts have not been able to forgive, nor forget. While the Concordia-McGill men’s hockey match up is not equal in hostilities, the rivalry still exists. The natural competition from being located in the same town was perhaps what Ronald Corey recog nized when he donated a cup in his name fifteen years ago. Corey, general manager of the Montreal Canadiens at the time and current president of the club, wanted to see an annual game take

place that would decide university hockey supremacy in Montreal. The fifteenth installment takes place this Friday at McConnell Arena. Current McGill head coach Martin Raymond was a Redmen player when the Corey Cup was in its inaugural years. Those games for Raymond are perhaps some of his most fond memories of the McGillConcordia rivalry, not only for game but also for the chance to play in one of hockey’s shrines. “The Corey Cup games were always great,” said Raymond. “It was always fun to play at the Forum, especially after growing up and watching the Canadiens play there.” According to Raymond, the Cup games were discontinued at the Forum due to scheduling prob lems and difficulties attracting decent crowds. Empty seats do not look to be a problem for this year’s Corey Cup. Event organizers are expecting a strong turnout with close to a sell out on hand. Sure, fans will be in the seats for a variety of reasons, but

the main one will be the promise of an exciting and intense brand of hockey produced by this cross-town rivalry. It must be asked: what is the true nature of the Concordia/McGill hockey rivalry? For veteran McGill forward Dave Burgess the main answer lies in the simple fact that they are both fighting for scarce playoff positions. “Unfortunately one of us (in the division) is going to miss the playoffs,” said Burgess. “Usually any one of us is good enough to win.” Burgess went on to point out that the rivalry is not explained completely by the close proximity. Because it plays in a small division, McGill meets the three other teams in the Far East division of the Ontario University Association sev eral times, adding to the rivalrous feelings. Teammate Adam Shell added that with only a few matches out of the division remaining, the impor tance of interdivisional games increases. “A couple of seasons ago, we lost an early game and it cost us first

The element of pride always place,” said the veteran Shell in explaining the importance of every adds that extra bit of intensity game. “We are fighting for posi something that Raymond felt goes way back. tion.” “The games are always emo The game on Saturday night is shaping up to have definite playoff tional,” said the Redmen coach. implications. Concordia needs a “Just look at it today; it is not over victory to stay in the hunt while until it’s over (when playing McGill will be looking to move Concordia). Concordia was always even closer to second place and that way when I played.” What Raymond referred to home ice advantage in the first was the late game flurry by round of the playoffs. While standings are highly Concordia that brought the final important, certain intangibles need score of 8-5 closer to respectability. to be taken into account when The late markers, to some extent explaining the intensity of the were due to sloppy play by the meetings between Concordia and Redmen. I am sure, though, that the coach of the Stingers told his McGill. “We’re the two English speak players to fight to the end and not ing universities in Montreal so I roll over like a lame dog to the boys would say it is definitely a pride from across town. When it comes down to it, thing,” noted Burgess in the dress ing room after last Sunday’s match pride and glory are what makes at the Ed Meagher Arena on Loyola sports appealing for so many fans. A cross-town rivalry, for better or Campus. “We are cross-town, of course, worse, brings out those characteris but it goes much deeper than that,” tics in the players and coaches. Come this Saturday night, fans said Shell. “We see them around town. When we have a McGill of university hockey in Montreal crest on our chest, we don’t want to should expect nothing less. get shown up.”

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, January 15 2002

Redmen rise to top of conference continued from PAGE 1

pointers. The Redmen fed off of Denburk’s poise and reeled off eleven straight points gaining a 90-85 advantage with 2:07 left on the clock. Coming out of a time-out it looked as though Laval was starting to get its groove back. Last year’s Quebec Student Sport Federation Most Valuable Player Charles Fortier hit a three bringing Laval to within two at 90-88. Fortier ended the game with 17 points But veteran McGill forward Pat Kieran sealed the deal with a clutch jump shot from the top of the key giving the Redmen a 92-88 advantage, leading to a standing ovation from the crowd. The Redmen' then reeled off eight more points resulting in the 100-88 final. All told McGill ended the game with a 24-3 run. “There is always doubt when a team beats you four times in a row,” remarked McGill head coach Nevio Marzinotto. “It was nice to get the monkey off of our backs. At the same time, we cannot lose sight of the fact that this is one game out of five that we will play against Laval in the regular season and that there is a lot of ball left. But this sets the tone for the series.”

Laval starts out strong While the end result was favourable, McGill basketball fans could not have been too happy at the start of the game. Most people remember that last year it was unheralded guard David Brownrigg of Laval who hit several key threepointers late in the game to elimi nate the Redmen. Before the game was 30 seconds old, Brownrigg reminded the Redmen why they shouldn’t leave him open, draining a three-ball. He capped a 9-0 Laval

run early in the first half with another three giving the Schnurb's Blurbs Rouge-et-Or a 27-18 advan tage. Brownrigg ended the game with four three-pointers Captain Kirk's free throw adven-1 and 15 points overall with tures twelve of those coming in the first half. Most of the time, when a playerl The difference, however, makes seven of ten free throws, it is notl between this year and last newsworthy. When Kirk Reid missesl year is the presence of three free-throws, it is a big deal. Kirkl McGill’s own three-point shooting dynamo, Joel (or the anti-Shaq) was one of the leadersl “Money” Sherbino. in the CIS last year in free-throw per Sherbino, a fifth year transfer centage making over 90 percent of his I student out of Bishop’s was shots from the charity stripe. Whenl indeed money on this night. asked if he ever missed three from thel He nailed four out of five free throw line in a game before, Reid! three pointers and scored 15 joked: points off the bench in only “Three? I don’t know if I’ve everl 19 minutes of play. More missed that many before. But I’m goingl importantly, he matched to work on that in practice.” Brownrigg shot for shot and It must be noted that Reid did find! didn’t allow the Red ‘n White the net from other places leading thel to fall too far behind. team with 21 points. “Joel is a huge presence on this team,” noted Marzinotto. “He is multital The presence of a legend ented. He hits those huge threes but can also play the I guess former McGill Redmen I low post. He is also great on football coach Charlie Baillie is also a| defense. He can cover the basketball fan. Baillie, the all-time winother team’s top player which gives players like Kirk [Reid] ningest coach in McGill’s storied foot-1 ball program was seen cheering on thel a rest.” Another key contributor hoopsters on Saturday afternoon. for the Redmen on this night was 6’4” forward Frederic Bye Bye Bye Bernard. Bernard was a sec ond team conference all-star McGill got a little lucky late in thisl last season for the Redmen one when Redmen killer David! and has continued his stellar Brownrigg fouled out of the contest. I play this season. Despite Brownrigg toasted the Redmen with I playing against players three four three-pointers but was unable tol and four inches taller than him, Bernard pulled down 12 complete the game. After he left thel rebounds. No other player floor, the Rouge-et-Or had problemsl on either team had more than finding the basket. four rebounds. “Rebounding is all about Mmmmmm....Bier hustle and desire,” said Bernard, who Veteran forward Andrew Bier had al added eleven decent game for the Redmen despite! points to his twelve boards. “I managing only two points and twol try to use my rebounds in ten minutes. He was al quickness to com defensive presence and a physical forcel pensate for my inside. Bier's play was especially impres-l lack of size. sive because he is coming back from al Rebounding is series of injuries which would leave most! about who wants players tentative. His hard work earned! it more, and I the praise of his coach: want it more. “Bier played some good minutes,” There are many said coach Nevio Marzinotto. “Hel scorers on this showed a lot of heart tonight. He gotl team, so some times you have to banged around but he can still play. He! do the dirty work. is only going to improve." don’t mind cleaning up the garbage.” A last key contrib utor for the Redmen overall including 4-0 in the confer was the proverbial sixth ence, which is good enough for first man, the crowd. The place. The team plays its next overflowing stands at home game on Thursday, January Love Competition Hall 17 at 8 PM versus Bishop’s. were clearly a motivat ing factor for the Red ‘n White. “It was fun to see people in the stands,” noted Marzinotto. “It is a goal of ours to play good ball and to keep filling this place.” The win brings McGill’s record to 12-2

Sports 17

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Whelan and Burgess are ath letes of the week Volleyball middle blocker Wendy Whelan and hockey for ward David Burgess were named McGill athletes of the week ending January 13th. In two matches over the week end, Whelan, the 25-year-old French language major racked up 20 kills, three aces, seven blocks and a 2.40 passing ratio out of 3. In Fridays 3-2 win at the Université de Montreal, Whelan paced the Martlets with 11 kills, three aces and three blocks. In Sunday’s 3-0 loss at Laval (25-22, 28-26, 25-23), she added nine kills, four stuffs and had a 2.44 passing ratio. Burgess scored seven points in two weekend victories. The 24year-old commerce senior had one goal and two assists in a 3-1 win at Ottawa on Saturday and added another goal with three assists in McGill’s 8-5 victory at Concordia on Sunday. With a career scoring total o f74-123-197, the diminutive team captain needs just three points to become the eighth player in McGill history to reach the 200point plateau.

McGill has four top ten teams for first time ever Thank you, men’s volleyball team. Sliding into 10th place in the national university volleyball rank ings, the Redmen volleyball team became the fourth McGill team to be nationally ranked, meaning that McGill now has four nationally ranked teams for the first time in athletics history. On the women’s side, the volleyball Martlets have moved up one spot to eighth. In basketball, the Redmen (12-2)

remained at a best-ever seventh spot in the nation and will surely move up after beating No.4-Lavai last Saturday afternoon. In women's hockey, the Martlets are tied for fifth in the top 10.

Martlet volleyball stuns arch-rivais After a three year absence from the team, one-time all-Canadian and former member of Team Canada, Wendy Whelan returned to help the Martlets pull off a 3-2 victory against the Université de Montreal. Whelen lead the team with 11 kills, three aces and three stuffed blocks, while veteran Julie Heroux for her part completed 12 kills, two aces and two stuffed blocks. The Martlets, however, were not able to parlay their energy from the Montreal success to conquer laval on Sunday. The game was decided in three close sets 25-22, 28-26, and 25-23 where McGill came up short in a hard fought bat tle. Now 3-5 in league play, the Martlets will play Sherbrooke and Montreal this weekend in hopes ro better their record.

Top 10 ranking going to their heads? Laval Rouge et O r and Montreal Carrabins woke up on the right side of the bed when it was their turn to play the Redmen vol leyball team this past weekend. With 25-16, 25-22 and 25-21 set scores against Laval, the Redmen were unable to better their league record of 0-6. Now at 0-8 the team will play host to Montreal this Sunday hoping to pick-up that cru cial first conference win of the sea son.

18 Sports

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, January 15 2002

That old college try Martlets rise to challenge then fall short against number-4 ranked Rouge et Or David Schipper

On Saturday, the McGill Martlets fell short 76-67 in their comeback bid to defeat the Laval Rouge et Or, a team ranked fourth in the country. Laval guard Elodie Gerard had an outstanding game with 20 points and seven rebounds, includ ing 70 percent shooting from the field. For McGill, second-year guard Maude Vallières led the effort by scoring 19 points for the Martlets including a perfect 5-for-5 from the free throw line. “We had a good game,” enthused Vallières. “We proved that we can beat them. We’re too fast for them. We have to work harder in their zone though.” Alisen Salusbury, a first-year McGill forward, had an excellent game in another starting assign ment. She finished with ten points, and was 5-for-6 from the field. In particular, she excelled on defense, getting rebounds and creating turnovers. “We played hard today,” Salusbury declared. “We’re playing

them four more times. We’ll take it to them. They can’t play us man-to man. If we can play better against their zone, we can beat them.” McGill jumped out to an early 11-3 lead thanks in large part to Sarah Gagnés heroic shooting and Vallières’ three-point play.

Cheeka Mitchell looking for Shaquille

However, shortly thereafter Laval that we can beat Laval. We are a went on a 25-8 run that was more a legitimate basketball team in this case of Laval finding their rhythm country. Our immediate future is than anything else. The Martlets bright. There is no magic formula. went on a 12-5 run to close the gap We’ve got the horses to beat their to 36-33 at halftime. horses.” The second half began with a Laval coach Linda Marquis 22-9 Laval run to put the Rouge et was somewhat perplexed with her Or up 58-42 with ten team’s performance. minutes to play, yet “We are not consistent. We McGill refused to give also could be a lot more intense up. Cheeka Mitchell mentally and physically,” Marquis and Vallières both hit said. “We were playing on McGill’s three-pointers, and momentum, not ours. At times, our Laval’s lead was quick half-court offense has no discipline. ly trimmed to eight. We make one pass and take one Kelly-Rae Kenyon shot.” scored six of her 12 Marquis explained that Gerard points in this stretch continues to excel for the Rouge et and McGill was down Or. by only five, 62-57, “Elodie had one of her best with six minutes to games of the season today. She hit play. That was as close the ball outside and generally had a as the Martlets would more complete game,” explained come as the two teams Marquis. “She missed her first two traded baskets the rest lay-ups and forgot about it. Usually, of the way. she would have been hard on herself “The whole game but she is learning to stay positive.” was positive,” coach Defense is the only lingering Lisen Moore declared. issue for the Martlets. The Rouge et “We have confidence. Or had too many second-chance down low We believe strongly opportunities under the basket, and

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there were some miscues that result ed in turnovers. “We had some mental lapses on defense today,” Moore said. “For periods of time, we beat them, but we can’t come back, stand, and mentally rest a bit.” The players were upbeat about their effort, but realistic about the hard work that will be needed to beat Laval on a consistent basis. Salusbury explained: “In the first half, we got a lead. We had to keep going hard. We had a few turnovers and errors. We have to work more on our box-out.” Moore was effusive in her praise of first-year forward Salusbury. “She is outstanding. She has a great work ethic,” opined Moore. “She is very active as a defender. She is the epitome of a player who works hard and well.” The Martlets play host to Bishop’s this Thursday at 6 p.m. before going to Loyola on Sunday afternoon to meet their cross-town rivals, the Concordia Stingers.

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The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, January 15 2002

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Hockey Martlets begin to sputter just a bit George Hadjis

The McGill Martlets hockey team experienced first hand the past weekend that a full season is a con tinuous series of ups and downs. Last Friday night the team suf fered a 4-2 loss to the Concordia Stingers at Ed Meagher Arena but then bounced back Sunday after noon by beating the lowly Carleton Ravens 5-2 at McConnell Arena. Against Concordia, McGill failed to capitalize on their oppor tunities in the first two periods, dig ging themselves a hole they would never emerge from. The game started off on the wrong skate for the Martlets due to an early penalty called against Becky Shaw. While McGill thwart ed the Stingers’ power play, it was enough to damage the rhythm of the offense for a few minutes. Case in point' was Audrey Hadd. Hadd found herself on a partial breakaway, but could not slip the puck behind goaltender Jessica Anderson. Hadd kept going though, creating several chances for herself. Soon thereafter, the visitors found themselves short-handed 5 on 3 for almost two entire minutes,

but emerged unscathed due in large part to Allison Ticmanis, who was on the ice for the full two minutes of the kill. Concordia continued to press though, with most of the first ten minutes being spent in the McGill zone. Amey Doyle came up big time and time again, (as she did last week making save wrongly identi fied as a goal on last week's Tribune cover) however, she didn’t have much of a chance when Stingers' for ward Anouk Grignon sneaked by the defense and opened up the scoring. C o n c o r d i a ’s momentum from winning the Theresa Humes tournament the weekend before seemed to carry over into this game. The second frame was a rather forgettable one for the women in red and white. Ticmanis was ejected for a violent hit from behind at the end of a frus trating shift which saw her unchar acteristically give the puck away in her own zone. She will miss the next game due to the misconduct.

Stinger Leanne Martell con verted another giveaway, this time by Melissa Berthiaume, into a sec ond goal for the home squad. The visiting side had execution prob lems on the power play and could not find the back of the net on

even-strength either. McGill gave up a short-handed goal before the period ended to only compound their recent power play woes. Down 3-0 entering the final frame of play, the Martlets finally woke up and came out flying. Audrey Hadd’s hard work paid off midway through the final frame when she helped Véronique Lapierre pot McGill’s first of the game.

The goal seemed to give her team new life as they continued to press in the offensive zone. With a minute to go and on the power play, Katherine Safka scored to bring the Martlets within one. It was all for naught though as the Stingers put the puck into the empty cage to clinch the game a mere 15 seconds after the rally. “We played well, we just couldn’t capitalize on our opportu nities and unfortunately they did,” coach Peter Smith said. “We really took it to them in the third.” The win brought the Stingers within one point of the conference leading Martlets. The Stingers have been on quite a roll over the past ten days. The Martlets' seventh position at the Theresa Humes tournament was a rather disap pointing one. “For some reason, we’ve never played well at the Concordia tour nament so we were looking at it more as a tune-up for the rest of the season,” coach Smith added. “We got away from our style of play in the first couple of games, but we ended it with a satisfactory result in the third and final game.”

Winless Carleton hosted On Sunday afternoon, the Martlets were looking to redeem themselves against a Carleton side that is still searching for their first point in conference play. McGill opened fire on the visitors from the opening whistle, winning by a score of 5-2. The game was not nearly as close as the score would indicate. The home side outshot the Ravens by an astonishing 68-9 count, set ting a new team-record. Visiting goaltender Denise Collins, who saw more rubber than a dead skunk on the Decarie, made 63 saves in a los ing cause. Sophie Acheson continued her dominance over the Carleton squad scoring twice and adding an assist She has 8 points (6 goals, 2 assists) in the three meetings this season. Her linemates, Sarah Lomas and team-leading point-getter Paula Mailloux also had three points each. “We had a tough time putting the puck in the net,” professed Smith afterward. “Their goalie was sensational for the most part.” McGill’s next game will be on UQTR on Friday at 7:00PM at the McConnell Arena.

Bush chokes, Favre doesn't in Pack win Tragedy almost struck last Sunday. As most of the free world has Mark Kerr . , , heard by now, the President of the United States choked on a salted pretzel. White House (spin) doctors have let it been known that when he choked, the pretzel hit a nerve in his throat, causing him to pass out and hit his head. That's not the best part, though. Bush was watching the football game. He was not worry ing about the War on Terror, or the continuing violence in the Middle

East. He was watching, presum ably, the Green Bay Packers defeat the San Francisco Forty-Niners 2515. First off, how does this guy get a chance to pound some wobblies, munch on pretzels, and take in the. Wild Card action? The criticism that Bush does not spend enough time in the White House has been leveled against him before. Before September 11th, the newly minted president attended numerous ball games. His extracurricular activities were curved in recent times, but it seems that it is back again. I can't even find time to watch sports as a university student. Maybe I will start. I have come up

with a small plan. The night before the exam, I will start munching popcorn at the local Cage aux Sport. I will drop, pretending to choke and then hit my head. I am sure that McGill administration cannot deny me a deferred exam. The only thing that I hope comes out of the pretzel affair is that the pictures from the official White House photographer make it out. In the recent Vanity Fair there is a spread of the Bush administra tion that is nothing less than pure propaganda. I am sure that the photos will never make it out. It would be funny to see though. Bush, with his wife Laura leaning over him, as

blood trickles from his head after smashing it off the expensive coffee table. I even think that the media relations team could spin it so that it reflects well on the Prez. The headline: "On any given Sunday, the President is ready to go to war for you." But the Bush administration must be careful not to let the situa tion get too out of hand. Osama bin Laden or any of the other ene mies of the United States might take the happenings as a new way to take out the leader of the free world. Just send him a big bag of pretzels on a Sunday, extra salt and that should do him. Or at least incapacitate him so that Dick

Cheney has to take over. The bottom line in this latest saga of Dubya's presidency? It might be far fetched but serious thought should be given to having Brett Favre in the White House. Why should he be there? First Favre won't duck and cover like Cheney did on that fateful day, unless there is a Michael Strahan record that needs to broken. Second, Favre showed composure under pressure, leading his Packers back against a tough Forty-Niners team. Let's face it: he didn't choke like Bush did on Sunday.

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