The McGill Tribune Vol. 22 Issue 24 by The Tribune

Special Speatures pullout page 11 T

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V o l. 2 2 I s s u e 2 4

P u b lis h e d b y t h e S t u d e n t s ' S o c ie t y o f M c G ill U n iv e r s it y s in c e 1981

T u e s d a y , M a r c h 1 8, 2 0 0 3

SSMU, AUS, SUS K a te R hodes

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TRIBUNE PHOTOGRAPHER

Election buzz pervades the Lev Bukhman room Monday night as SSMU hopefuls wait patiently outside.

D ato o w in s big fo r p resid en cy James Grohsgal

In a landslide victory Monday night, front runner Naeem Datoo has won the Students’ Society presidency, defeating underdog candidates Alex Kemeny, Saeed Fotuhi and John Doyle. According to the unofficial results, Datoo, SSMU vice-president communications and events, brought

home 2,296 votes, or 46.72 per cent of the total 4,914 who voted in the presidential race, while McGill Hillel President Kemeny received 884 votes, or 17.99 per cent. Fotuhi, an unknown before he began advertising in January for a February 7 ‘Saeed Presents’ party, garnered 873 votes, or 17.77 per cent. Former Access McGill President John Doyle, who put up no campaign posters, obtained 8.4 per cent with 413 votes.

The presidential candidates failed to describe a unifying theme for the race, so they ran on uninspiring platforms. Datoo touted his experi ence and Doyle ran on his integrity. Kemeny ran against the February 20 anti-war General Assembly and Fotuhi ran on his newfound name recognition. Datoo said his biggest priority See DO YOU KNOW, page 8

The Students’ Society won the accreditation referendum last night with a vote o f4,667 in favour of making SSMU the legally rec ognized representative organization of the undergraduate student body. The Science Undergraduate Society and the Arts. Undergraduate Society were also accredited. During the electoral period, a record-breaking 6,000 students, or approximately 34 per cent of the undergraduate student body, voted in the election. “I think it’s a very important next step in the evolution of the students’ associations at McGill. I think two years’ worth of hard work has paid off and I would note that it is an historic election, the highest number of student votes ever cast in an election. SUS received over 43 per cent, and the largest voter turn out in its 103 years,” said SSMU President Martin Doe and ‘Yes’ committee co chair. “I am very excited for next year, they have the tools to make it an amazing year for the SSMU.” SSMU accreditation received a total of 5,735 Votes, with 831 against accreditation and 237 spoiled ballots. SSMU needed a quo rum of 4,167 ‘yes’ votes. The SUS is now the legally recognized representative body of Science undergraduates, having received 1,255 ‘yes’ votes to 204 ‘no’ votes, with 40 spoiled ballots. SUS accreditation needed 923 yes’ votes to pass. “That fact that so many people voted for accreditation can be attributed to the support of all of the departmental associations within the SUS. When we were forced to sign our letter of agree ment in April 2001 we sacrificed certain rights that, had we been accredited, we would have been able to retain, and henceforth all of our departmental associations would have been much better off financially,” said SUS President Josh Vorstenbosch. He was acclaimed to a second term as SUS president last week. The AUS accreditation referendum received 1,859 ‘yes’ votes, 472 no’ votes and 119 spoiled ballots. It needed 1,562 yes’ SSMU ELECTION! 03 votes to reach quorum. “I speak on behalf of all of the AUS executive and AUS u ll council when I say I am absolutely thrilled, especially l e c t io n with the high voter turnout. This speaks highly of the o v era g e on impact AUS has had on its stu dents and will secure our posi a g es tion in the University as a

F E C P

See ACCREDITATION, page 8

VOn IN THE AUS ELECTIONS TODAY, TOMORROW AND THURSDAY

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2 News

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, March 18, 2003

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Just what makes the Panamanian NGO tick ? In the ‘Tield lo a n a L u c a The fifth instalment in the Tribune s Panama series. It did not take us long to real ize that we were at the bottom of The Panamanian Centre for Research and Social Action’s list of priorities. We were dropped off in the village of Achiote after a tour of the area and told to manage a development information centre as best we could. O f course, there were expectations that we would get things done, organize activities, augment participation and gel community spirit. We were walking in the foot steps of other McGill students and Peace Corps workers who were praised to no end, but we had been previously warned about this ele ment of nostalgia and eventually got used to being called by other girls’ names and having our per sonalities compared to theirs. We expected the first month to be difficult. We gradually

became accustomed to the weekly transit from the capital on the Pacific coast to the Atlantic coast where our’ village is situated, and communicating technical and the oretical ideas in a different lan guage. We held workshops on organic agriculture, recycling and conservation, but often only to audiences of children and some times teenagers, lured into attend ing by the promise of candy prizes, popcorn and movies. We came to accept that there is a time for inte gration, and a time for action. Now we have been told that CEASPA, the centre, has stopped all activities in these communities and we are not allowed to go to Achiote until further notice. Nothing was explained to us, nothing transpired. We decided to investigate our internship and our role in the CEASPA ‘team’, espe cially since we had never had a meeting with them. After reading the glossy reports of previous McGill students, not only did we realize that those students received much more support from CEAS PA, like having key people mediate and organize their activities in the village, but also that the students’ suggestions for a greater CEASPA presence in the community had not been heeded, and their com

SSMU JUDICIAL BOARD ANNOUNCEMENT REGARDING APPLICATION FOR INTERVENORS IN THE MATTER OF DeCASTRO The Judicial Board invites interested parties to pa matter of DeCastro v. SSMU. The matter is expected to early April. At issue is whether a student is em monthly payment statements of SSMU executive Interested parties should complete FORM 1-1 and p any and all witnesses and relevant documents in their entirety (except the Constitution and SSMU By-Laws). FORM 1-1 will be available in the SSMU Office beginning Friday March 14. It must be completed 5 days after the publication of this announcement The McGill Tribune is published weekly on Tuesdays, which means that interested par ties will have until 5pm on Monday March 24 to make their submis sion. Submissions must be placed in the Judicial Board mailbox in the main stairwell of the Shatner Building, in addition, interested parties must alert the Chief Justice by e-mail that an "Application for Intervention" has been submitted. You are encouraged to make per sonal copies of all documents before making your submission. For further information related to procedures please contact the Chief Justice, Hugo Maureira, at bogQ^ntfureira@lMilni^ilc.a

McGill Public Lecture

M ichel D elon

Professor o f French literature. Université d e Paris-Sorbonne

«Un débat moral au Siècle des Lumières : peut-on inventer un plaisir nouveau ?» Friday March 28, 2003 at 5:30 p.m. Leacock 26 855, Sherbrooke Street West entrance directly on campus

Free admission M a d e p o s s ib le th a n k s to t h e s u p p o r t o f t h e B eatty M em orial L ectures C o m m itte e

munity activities had fallen into desuetude, (the vegetable garden was forgotten, the young people’s group disbanded, and the tourism group hadn’t met since its incep tion last year). What does one do in such a situation? It is understandable that because the N G O is involved in so many projects at so many levels, it may not have the time or the resources to devote to our activi ties. It is also realistic to affirm that we could not count on effectively changing the languishing commu nity spirit of Achiote, because of the historical, sociological and eco nomical aspects that keep the peo ple in the mistrusting, individual istic state they still need for sur vival. Moreover, we are outsiders and the Achiote people know their problems and the reasons for their way of life better than we could ever profess to. So I came to grips with the fact that, after this amazing experi ence in Panama, I will have learned much more from the Achiote com munity than its people will ever learn from me. I have also had the opportunity to understand the level of flexibility needed to work with an NGO. just the fact that we ended our meeting with group sing-alongs in the car and the best

What it is on the inside: CEASPA employees receive reports from their key members in the communities, including us for the first time.

10ANA

What.it looks like from the outside: Fort Sherman, an ex-military base and home to the CEASPA office.

“Guantanamera” rendition from here to Montreal is enough to put a smile on my face and prepare me

for the next revision of plans and re-drawing of schedules that is lurking just around the corner.

TAs s e e k w a g e in c re a s e AGSEM to hold General Assembly to choose tactics J e re m y D ie tz __________________

The Association of Graduate Students Employed at McGill is asking the administration for an increase in teaching assistants’ salaries, but Human Resources has rejected their offer because they say that the TAs’ demands are too high. The staff association will hold a General Assembly on March 26 to decide on pressure tactics, but according to AGSEM mobilization officer Roman Pabayo, a strike is unlikely because many TAs are friendly with the professors with whom they work. AGSEM wants to increase salaries across faculties to $22 per hour, to approach $24.42, the national average for unionized employees, and to push vacation pay up to eight per cent. The administration has offered an overall pay increase of about 10 per cent. TA salaries currently range between $14.50 and $18.49 per hour, with a vacation pay of four per cent. McGill TAs are not union ized. While a wage increase is “not unrealistic,” Human Resources Associate Director Jacques Sztuke said TAs are asking for too much. “There is no way we can increase their wages by 45 per cent,” he said. Pabayo said that “schools such as the [University of Toronto] and McMaster [University] all get well above the national average. How can you compare the quality of the schools but ignore the salaries?”

Sztuke said that the salary dis used. Sztuke would not comment parity can be explained by differ on the numbers. “This is an agreement between ences in funding. “Other universities may have the government and McGill... It better rates than McGill but schools deals with a lot of things, not just like U of T aren’t funded in the teaching support,” said Sztuke. same way McGill is. ... We are “The government is satisfied with funded substantially less. We don’t what the University has done with have the funding that U o fT has.” the money.” AGSEM President Jordan He added that the cost of living is also substantially lower in Montreal Geller said that undergraduates would benefit from higher TA than in cities like Toronto. However, AGSEM contends salaries. “Many undergraduates would that McGill is violating an agree ment it has with the Quebec educa like to see better teaching assistants tion ministry to invest an addition who have more time for them and al $9.3-million for TAs over three are more positive and motivated to years. According to a human be effective teachers. ... Being better resources official, the University paid makes them feel appreciated. Sztuke is waiting for the TAs to allocated an additional $1-million respond to his offer. to TAs last year, but not all of this “We have made an offer—we money was spent. AGSEM’s web site reports that only $478,000 was are willing to move,” he said.

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, March 18, 2003

CASA may let SSMU becom e associate

Munroe-Blum gets vice-regal treatm ent

Amendment passed at annual conference, awaits ratification ment],” Vikander said. “It’s not exactly what we’d asked for, but they have taken some pretty major steps to accommodate Members of the Canadian Alliance us for next year. I think it’s a good com of Student Associations passed an promise and I hope Council decides to amendment that allows member schools accept associate membership under these to assume associate membership, but the terms.” change must first be ratified before the' Brett Bergie, Ontario regional direc Students Society of McGill University tor for CASA, expects the amendment to can downgrade its status in the national be ratified. student lobbying organization. “I am encouraged that McGill’s final At their annual conference held in recommendation was to stay somewhat Winnipeg last week, representatives to involved with CASA,” he said. “It’s CASA voted to support the constitution encouraging to see that it’s not an al change that would allow SSMU to absolute departure from the organiza carry out Council’s March 6 decision to tion, which gives me the sense that become an associate member—an action [SSMU] still finds benefit in being that currendy violates CASA’s constitu involved.” tion. SSMU is a founding member of CASA. Fee hike, new director Students from the University of Conference participants elected a Waterloo proposed the amendment to new national director and approved next the constitution, which states that a uni year’s budget. James Kusie, vice-presi versity cannot be an associate member if dent administration of the University of it has been a full member the previous Manitoba Students’ Union, was elected year. The amendment that was passed national director. He will replace Tyler stipulates that associate members would MacLeod, who has served as acting pay 75 per cent of the full membership director since former national director fee, rather than the 50 per cent that Liam Arbuckle’s February 14 resigna SSMU had hoped to pay as an associate tion. member. Associate members retain all On top of a 2.2 per cent increase in the rights of membership except voting. membership fees to reflect inflation, The change will be ratified if stu members passed a proposal to further dent associations representing a com increase fees by 10.8 per cent. Both of bined 50 per cent of CASA’s full-time these, increases must be ratified by half of student membership approve the CASA’s membership. amendment. Vikander found the 10.8 per cent SSMU Vice-President Community increase “worrying,” saying that and Government Nick Vikander, whose although CASA needs the money, it Community and Government must restore the confidence of its mem Committee recommended associate bers before raising fees. membership status, represented SSMU “I think it’s very clear from our at the conference. council’s perspective that we have not “Were pleased with this [amend J e n n ife r J e tt

News 3

been very satisfied this year,” he said. “I’m not entirely convinced at this point for the organization that it makes sense to go back and ask for such a substantial increase.” External review, expanding scope The conference also included a twoday external review of CASA, one of 10 recommendations made by SSMU and the University of Alberta Students’ Union late last summer. Many of these recommendations were addressed at the conference with mixed results, said Vikander. “There was a motion that was passed saying that CASA will work to incorporate broad-based student and popular participation and mobilization in its various future campaigns,” he said. An amendment to CASA’s constitu tion that would broaden the organiza tion’s educational focus to include stu dent issues, such as housing and trans portation, was defeated. Nonetheless, Vikander said, mem ber schools are beginning to recognize that these issues “directly affect accessi bility for post-secondary studies. Part of the point was just to bring it up once again ... and to get people talking about • » it. SSMU Council members have expressed disappointment with CASA’s initial response to these recommenda tions. “I think there’s been a lot of positive changes in the long term over the year,” Vikander said. “It didn’t come quickly, it didn’t come easily. The real test is going to be seeing what’s going to happen next year.”

Heather Munroe-Blum was formally installed as principal and vice-chancellor of McGill University at a ceremony in Redpath Hall last Monday. Chairman of the Board of Governors Robert Rabinovitch and Chancellor Dick Pound invested her with her new titles, and Governor-General Adrienne Clarkson entrusted her with the University’s charter and seal. Liberal MP Lucienne Robillard greeted the principal on behalf of the Government of Canada. National Assembly speaker Louise Harel represented the provincial government, and Mayor Gerald Tremblay welcomed Munroe-Blum to the City of Montreal. Harel, who is the first female speaker of the provincial legislature, pointed out that the installation of Munroe-Blum as McGill’s first female principal occurred coincidentally, only two days after International Women’s Day. After other academic dig nitaries had welcomed Munroe-Blum, the new princi pal conferred eight honorary degrees on scholars from around the world, many from Universitas 21 member schools. U21 is a global alliance of research universities of which McGill is a founding member. Representatives from dozens of major North American universities also attended the ceremony. —Mark Sward

NATHAN LEBI0DA

Relax folks, it’s on the cheek...

Ice vs. McGill students: 10-zip “I want to find a rese W ty ean’t I?” P anel D iscussion on u n d e rg ra d u a te research o p p o rtu n itie s a t M c G ill T h e p a n e l w ill d is c u s s th e c h a lle n g e s o f in c re a s in g GRAPHIC BY JENNY GEORGE

McGill University and the city of Montreal fought a losing battle against the ice and snow that covered the campus this winter (that damn spot in front of Shatner...). McGill, however, uses a safer, more environmentally friendly compound to melt the snow than the city’s salt mixture. Giovanni Nuzzi, McGill’s manager o f buildings and grounds, said that, “for two years now we haven’t used salt; we now use potassium chloride, which is a safe-step product, which is much mote environ mentally friendly.” The City of Montreal, on the other hand, uses “a mixture of 10 per cent salt and 90 per cent pebbles on the sidewalks, and for the streets the mixture varies from a 50/50 mix to a 10/90 mix, depending on how cold it gets,” according to the City’s website. While McGill employs nearly 20 people to keep the campus snowand ice-free, the city shares the heavy workload with private-sector companies that are responsible for 50 per cent of the island’s roads and

u n d e rg ra d u a te re s e a rc h

o p p o r t u n i t ie s a t M c G ill, w h a t

e x is ts a t o th e r in s titu tio n s a n d th e ro le o f s tu d e n tfa c u lty re s e a rc h c o lla b o ra tio n in im p ro v in g th e u n d e r g ra d u a te e x p e rie n c e .

I h o p e y o u w ill jo in u s .

Dean of Science Alan Shaver Dean of Students Bruce Shore Dean of Graduate Studies Martha Crago L e v B u k h m a n C o u n c il R o o m 4 p m M o n d a y M a r c h 2 4 Refresments w ill be served For more information, please contact Fred Sagel, VP University Affairs ua@ssmu.mcaill.ca 398-6797

4 News

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, March 18, 2003

B u sh g iv e s S a d d a m 4 8 h o u r s to le a v e Ira q Professor Brynen: Speech aimed at American and Iraqi, but not global, audience J a m e s G ro hsgal

During a prime time address last night, US President George W. Bush said the US has the “sovereign authority to use force” to ensure its security, and demanded that Iraqi President Saddam Hussein and his sons leave Iraq within 48 hours, or face a US-led military attack. Declaring that “we will not be intimidat ed by thugs and killers,” Bush said that Saddam’s possession of chemical, nuclear and biological weapons is a continuing threat to the safety of America and its allies, and reiterated’ his claim that a connection exists between the Iraqi regime and the al-Qaeda terrorist net work. He said that the United Nations had failed to confront Saddam’s tyranny, and that if it fell to him as commander-in-chief to protect the US and its allies. Bush said, “This is not a question of authority. It is a question of will.” He contin ued, “The United Nations Security Council has not lived up to its responsibility, so we will rise to ours.” After French foreign minister Dominique de Villepin declared this weekend that France Over 200,000 people marched in an anti-war protest in downtown Montreal on Saturday afternoon, As a US-led war on Iraq approaches, public would veto a second UN Security Council res demonstrations are becoming a regular occurence.________________________________________ olution authorizing an attack, US Secretary of State Colin Powell announced yesterday morn within 48 hours. In the northern no-fly zone question if the two nations proceeded without refuse to fight or will surrender.” However, he argues that the aftermath of ing that the US and Britain are willing to use established after the 1991 Gulf War, Iraqi Security Council approval. Russian foreign UN Resolution 1441 as the justification for Kurds, fearful of a Turkish invasion, have minister Igor Ivanov and German foreign min the war is harder to predict. “Do the Americans find it easy to hand ister Joschka Fischer had already indicated their attack on Iraq. begun to flee their homes. over to a newly established democratic Iraqi Bush met with UK Prime Minister Tony After Powell’s press conference on their countries’ opposition to military action, Blair and Spanish President Jose-Maria Anzar Monday, Canadian Prime Minister Jean while China continued to call for a peaceful government eventually or do they find them selves stuck in a quagmire in Iraq with a popu in the Azores on Sunday to entrench his ‘coali Chretien announced in Parliament that, “If resolution. On Monday Australian Prime Minister lation that initially welcomed them slowly tion of the willing’ and to countenance last- military action proceeds without a new resolu minute diplomacy, but as US General Tommy tion of the security council, Canada will not John Howard agreed to commit troops to the turning against them?” Brynen said that as long as the Kurds in Franks and the 250,000 US and UK troops participate,” and in the UK, Robin Cook, who US-UK offensive, and Turkish President Recep northern Iraq maintain their support for feder stationed in the Persian Gulf awaited orders to resigned as government leader of the House of Tayyip Erdogan said that he would bring a new strike, civilians and soldiers waited for bombs Commons, said his government could not motion to his parliament to authorize the sta alism, rather than outright independence, the situation there will not be complicated. to drop on Baghdad. “now pretend those efforts [for a second reso- . tioning of US troops in his country. “The Turks have already moved a few Troops will likely attack from Jordan in Iraqi soldiers piled sandbags in front of lution] were of no importance.” UN Secretarygovernment buildings on Monday, and diplo General Kofi Annan said that the legitimacy of the west, through eastern Turkey into the north kilometres into Iraq. The last thing the mats and UN weapons inspectors began their a joint US-UK action would be called into of Iraq, and from Saudi Arabia and Kuwait in Americans want is the Turks fighting with the evacuation, which is expected to be complete the south, while US and UK planes will launch Kurds in northern Iraq at the same time they’re air strikes from bases and aircraft carriers in the trying to take care of Saddam.” He expects that Canada will continue to Persian Gulf and on the Pacific island of Diego stay out of the war. Garcia. “I don’t see how the prime minister could In his speech, Bush said, “it is not too late for the Iraqi military to act with honour,” by have gotten any more unequivocal and indeed allowing the peaceful entry of US and UK we agreed to take over the command of the troops into Iraq to overthrow Saddam and dis security force in Afghanistan precisely so we arm his military. He told soldiers not to burn wouldn’t be able to send any forces to Iraq.” Brynen argues that the Bush administra oil fields, and reiterated that the American action would lead to the liberation of the Iraqi tion’s linkage of Saddam Hussein’s regime to people. He added that the US would partici international terrorism was critical to the pres pate in rebuilding the country after the war is ident’s domestic support. “The president has really cast this in terms over. of having to go to war against Saddam because Response to the speech Rex Brynen, a McGill Political Science of the threat of weapons of mass destruction professor and specialist in the Middle East, being used by terrorists, [but] that’s not a view spoke to the Tribune immediately after the shared by most of the international communi ty, which isn’t convinced of the magnitude of speech. He anticipates substantial Iraqi support that threat,” he said. “But in American public opinion, I think tying the war against Iraq into for a US invasion. “I suspect the Americans will find signifi the war on terror will probably work very cant public support or acquiescence in Iraq,” well.” said Brynen. “Most Iraqi military units will

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M cG IL L T R IB U N E

CALL FO R A P P L IC A T IO N S The

Tribune is

seeking applicants for the 2 0 0 3 -0 4 Editorial Board

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF applications

OTHER POSITIONS AVAILABLE:

should include a letter of intent and CV, to be dropped off at the SSMU Front Desk by March 14, 4:30 pm

News Editors (3) Features Editors (2) Entertainment Editors (2) Sports Editors (2) Photo Editors (2)

Online Editors (2 ) Production Manager Layout Editor Copy Editor Resident Apple Expert

Editorial Board applications should include a letter of intent, a CV and a portfolio containing three (3) relevant samples of work. Applications should be addressed to James Empringham, Editor-in-Chief, and received by 4:30 pm, Friday, March 21, 2003 at the Tribune Office (Shatner 110).

tribune@ssmu.mcgill.ca

www.mcgilltribune.com

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, March 18, 2003

News 5

U n iv e rs itie s d is s a tis f ie d w ith P Q b u d g e t Mark Sward

A day before Quebec provincial Premier Bernard Landry announced elections for April 14, Finance Minister Pauline Marois unveiled a budget that will not significantly increase funding to post-secondary education. Marois increased the education budget by $657-million, but most of the six per cent rise will pay for existing programs, particularly in elementary and secondary educa tion. While more money was allo cated for universities, the majority of new funding is for medical, phar maceutical and nursing programs and research in high technology, rather than improving undergradu ate education. “The Quebec budget... was not great news for the university sector,” said Vice-Principal Administration and Finance Morty Yalovsky. He cited a joint study by the Ministère de l’Éducation and the Conférence des recteurs et des prin cipaux des universités du Québec that found a $375-million shortage in the system; “There was some hope that a reinvestment of... $200- to $300-million would occur

[based on that study],” he said. “We welcome the capital rein vestment in the medical area—this was certainly required since the gov ernment began increasing the num ber of medical students about two years ago,” said Yalovsky. He is not entirely satisfied with the funding, however: “They never provided the capital funding required to handle the increased class size; as well, they should have provided increased operating money, but this budget does not make such a provision,” he said. The budget will include $ 131million for library and computer facilities at Quebec schools, and funding for new science and engi neering facilities at several universi ties, including l’Université de Montréal, l’Université du Québec à Montréal and Concordia University. Student leaders are equally unhappy with the Parti Québécois government’s performance on edu cation this year. “The Education Minister [Sylvain Simard] sympathizes with us, but he wasn’t able to make edu cation a priority, and that’s a disap pointment,” said Students’ Society Vice-President Community and Government Nick Vikander. He argued that, while the

budget gives a few benefits to stu dents, such as tax credits for bus pass purchases and for students who return to rural areas, these initiatives will not have a substantial effect on McGill students. Vikander is also disappointed that the government did not rein vest in the financial aid system, which he says needs more than $20million to serve Quebec students. La Fédération étudiante uni versitaire du Québec echoed Vikander in its response to the budget. “La FEUQ denounces the Marois budget that commits to no reinvestment in post-secondary education and research,” said FEUQ spokesperson Chantal Thibodeau in a press release. FEUQ President Nicolas Brisson lambasted Simard, who “just proved that he is a big talker but not a big doer when it comes to honouring his promises to young people and post-secondary educa tion,” he said in a press release. The federation also criticized Marois for cutting $2.9-million in funding from Quebec’s main schol arship-granting organizations.

Fund will spend approximately $42,000 to extend Redpath Library's 24-hour service from the period after Thanksgiving in the fall term and starting at the begin ning of March during the winter term, according to Students’ Society Vice-President University Affairs Fred Sagel. Other projects include investments in the new Music library and making student research job opportunities. “The cost of keeping the library open is mainly to cover the cost of security,” said Sagel. “Student input from surveys was largely responsible for this initia tive [and] the libraries are very interested in working with us to increase library hours,” The fund will also invest up to $45,000 to the Music library which will open in the fall with the new Music Building. Last year, special funding was given to the Geography library. Twenty job opportunities for undergraduate students will be cre ated with $40,000 from the LIF's equalization fund. Students will be trained over the summer as library research assistants, each specializ ing in a specific academic topics. This program is a joint initia tive between SSMU, the McGill Libraries and the Faculty of Arts. The jobs will not be restricted to work study participants. “They will be trained over the summer to help other students find reference materials. ... A lot of first-year students come in and they have no idea how the library works,” said Sagel. Sagel also said that the LIFC might spend $100,000 of its annu al special projects money for more

computers. “We’re considering now tak ing the money we’ve saved, and the money from this year’s fund and put it towards a mini-information commons, which would be the beginning of this larger informa tion commons.” Library planners proposed a $ 10-million, 24-hour information commons for the first floor of the McLennan-Redpath Library, but significant donors are needed to fund the network of over 100 com puters. SSMU has found two donors who offered $50,000 each, but “we’re still waiting for final word on a private donor” for the computer network, said Sagel. The LIF is also lobbying the University to invest in improving lighting in the McLennan and Schulich libraries, as well as the main computer lab in the Law Library. The LIF is a $1-million fund allocated into $700,000 for collec tions, $200,000 for eqaualization and $100,000 for special projects. While the Equalization Fund focuses on providing standard equipment and supplies for lesssubsidized libraries, said Sagel, the Collections Fund is divided among faculties by the student popula tion. — Dany Horovitz and Kate Rhodes

Elections in April On Wednesday, Premier Bernard Landry set an election date

of April 14 for all the seats in the National Assembly. The incumbent PQ will vie to hold onto its majori ty in the legislature, but will face stiff competition from the Liberals, headed by veteran Jean Charest, and l’Action démocratique, led by rela tive newcomer Mario Dumont. Vikander wants the Liberals and the PQ to keep their promises to regulate ancillary fees and main tain the in-province tuition freeze for at least one term. The A D Q wants to tie Quebeckers’ tuition to the Consumer Price Index, causing it to rise with inflation. Vikander worries that, since students who work often make low wages, they will have trouble affording such fee increases. Vikander also hopes to address differential tuition for out-ofprovince students during the cam paign but, although it is an impor tant issue at McGill, no other Quebec university has as large a proportion of students from the rest of Canada. He said that the SSMU and FEUQ election platforms will both come out against differential tuition, but he “[doesn’t] expect any party to take a huge stand.” SSMU will release its official electoral platform at this week’s Council meeting. La FEUQ’s platform includes

demands for increased student aid, strict protection of students in housing and transportation laws, and reinvestment in universities. The federation will ask that the Quebec government attempt to keep education out of free trade agreements, and wants the Quebec government to hold a referendum on the Free Trade Area of the Americas. Finally, they ask that provincial elections be held at fixed intervals. Vikander said that the focus of SSMU’s platform will be on issues that directly affect students. — with files from Laura Saba

that Matthews’ letter to the M cGill Tribune, which appeared as a “Stop the Press” on March 11, violates Matthews’ neutrality as AUS Speaker. The letter, which berates the Tribune for “selective [and] biased” reporting, accuses Offenbach of “using his influence with the Tribune to have his minority views plastered on its front pages”. Matthews claims that “the rea son I decided to write [the ‘Stop the Press’] is because I thought that Mr. D ’Souza had left out a number of pieces of factual information that would give the readers a better glimpse at what is actually going on in the AUS. “I don’t feel that I have lost my impartiality,” continued Matthews. “There is a motion that has been presented to AUS Council, and if they fee] that I am no longer impartial then they will vote so and I will be removed.” According to Point 58 of Robert’s Rules of Order, Newly Revised, the manual used for AUS procedures, “if the chairman has even the appearance of being a par tisan, he loses much of his ability to control those who are on the

opposite side of the question”. “He has clearly shown himself to be biased and that he believes the minority viewpoint of Council is irrelevant,” says Offenbach. “One of the most important roles of the speaker is to protect the rights of the minority.” Matthews defended his letter. “When I wrote the ‘Stop the Press’, in my judgement, all of the things I said were based in fact and on things that had already tran spired in [AUS] Council. I inten tionally did not bring up things that are currently before council. As speaker it is not my place to comment on things before coun cil,” he said. “I wasn’t giving my personal opinion on whether these motions are good or bad... I have no com ment on Mr. Offenbach’s motion.” Offenbach says he is willing to negotiate, should council not wish to remove Matthews. “I will, reluctantly, accept a compromise in which AUS Council, in next week’s ‘Stop the Press’, publicly censures Mr. Matthews.” — Scott R. Medvin

Ex am s c h e d u le ch a n g e Quebec law dictates that schools must close for the provin cial elections on Monday April 14, a day originally scheduled for examinations. Secretary-General Robin Geller says that Arts, Science, Engineering, and Education faculties will resched ule Monday exams on Sunday, April 13, and Geller expects a similar response from other facul ties. The Secretariat will make an official scheduling announcement this week.

N e W sB rle F s J-Board to review sordid details of Pitchergate: DeCastro vs. SSMU The Students’ Society Judicial Board will hear DeCastro vs. SSMU in early April, according to Chief Justice Hugo Maureira. At issue is whether a student is entitled to access monthly pay ment statements of SSMU execu tive credit cards. Rodrigo DeCastro, U2 Political Science and Economics, alleges that SSMU Vice-President Operations Kathleen Morrison misused her SSMU credit card to purchase four pitchers of beer for Mini Course registration volun teers on Activities Night in January. Morrison combats that the charge was an appropriate, pre approved expense. DeCastro was denied docu ment requests for credit cards receipts and thus petitioned the Judicial Board in February on the broader issue he calls “SSMU transparency” and access to infor mation. SSMU formally rebutted the petition after Reading Week. Maureira is inviting interested students to file interventions in the case. All submissions are due by March 24. See this article on wurw.mcg.iltribune.com for background on the case. — Kate Rhodes All-nighters: Funds for 24hour library access Students’ Society Council will vote on April 3 to approve the Library Improvement Fund Committee’s spending proposals. The Library Improvement

AUS Speaker questioned Arts Rep-resentative to Students’ Society Seth Offenbach has submitted a motion to the Arts Undergraduate Society attempting to remove Ian Matthews from his position as AUS Speaker. Offenbach, who is also a can didate for AUS President, claims

See w w w . m c g i l l t r i b u n e . c o m for Heather Haq Lawerence's full coverage of the Independent Political Students' Associations crossfire on Iraq.

6 News szm m m

ELECTIONS RESULTS 2 0 0 3

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, March 18, 2003

u m

SCIENCESENATOR

u u u iii k h u v iih

MUS Council rep recounted Justin Renard

The Management Undergrad uate Society recounted the votes for its Students’ Society Council repre sentative twice last Wednesday, after allegations surfaced that an election official skewed the results. Faisal Darras won by two votes, beating Claire Alexander and Harsh Rajamani. After the first count on March 6, Darras won with 177 votes, exceeding Rajamani’s 174 votes by three. Alexander received 140 votes. Adrian Brown, the counter for MUS presidential candidate Sanjeev Nath, told Nath to recommend a recount. “I advised that [Rajamani] should get [a recount] done for peace of mind. It’s not a bad idea to have a recount; no one is going to think negatively of you,” said Nath. “A lot of my supporters came to me and said, ‘Harsha, you should really get a recount,’ so I caved,” said Rajamani. “By no means do I doubt Faisal’s ability to do an excellent job.”

That’s an allegation that can Management students involved with the election alleged that, during not be solidified. Everything is fine the first recount, the counter, with the recount. The person who acclaimed Vice-President won [originally], won,” he said. Nath was elected as MUS presi Accounting Michael Handelsman, purposefully miscounted and gave dent with 301 votes, against Melissa votes intended for Darras to Robotham’s 205 votes. François Rajamani. Results were thus changed Tardif was elected vice-president so dramatically that MUS performed external with 182 votes over Taryn a second recount. The final recount Barker with 127 and Allison Stewart concluded Darras as the winner with with 162. For vice-president com 177 votes, over Rajamani with 175 munications, Aisha Al-Khabyyr, with 236 votes, beat Adriana Braczek and Alexander with 142. By press time, Darras did not with 190 and Pierre Megarbane with respond to emails requesting a com 67. U2 class president-elect is Warren Salzman with 87 votes, ment. Rajamani said that Handels defeating Lindsay Biggar, whose man told him the miscount was total was unavailable, and Philippe Charette with 42. unintentional. “I think I represent the candi “[Handelsman] was operating on very little sleep with interviews date who loves the MUS but is coming up. I take his word that he involved elsewhere. This is truly didn’t do it intentionally,” said going to help us create ties with organizations outside management,” Rajamani. Handelsman was unavailable said Nath. Robotham was not discouraged for comment. MUS President Trip Allport by her loss in the presidential race. “I’ve been on MUS for the past confirmed that a second recount took place and defended two years now. I think it’s a good time to try new things,” she said. Handelsman.

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Laila Nurmohamed and Michael Kuan captured the two available Science Senate posi tions Monday in a heated threeway race. Nurmohamed and Kuan garnered 809 and 497 votes respectively, edging out Robert Kozak’s 481 votes after the initial count. “At the beginning of the night I was a little nervous. ... I think we all were,” said Nurmohamed, who was the first candidate to be proclaimed vic torious. “Now that the results are known, I’m both relieved and excited to be working with [Kuan]. ... Hopefully they’ll be committed to bringing about some positive changes this year.” Kuan expressed his desire to rectify the “many issues and problems” that had come to his attention during his four years at McGill. Furthermore, Kuan stated that increased integration of the Arts and Science faculties is an option he would like to see examined in Senate. Nurmohamed, the current SUS VP communications, said she would use her influence on Senate to petition for increased undergraduate research oppor tunities, as well as fiscal accountability regarding the dis tribution of academic advising funds. “The first thing we need to do is get funding for under graduate research and advising

T E A C H

M o n tr e a l)

SCIENCEEXECUTIVE as soon as possible. ... I think that once myself and the other senators get together we’ll be able to effectively lobby the administration on these issues.” Kozak was unavailable for comment. In other Science faculty election news, the SUS races lacked the drama of their Senate counterparts, as three of the top executive positions were secured by acclamation last Friday. Joshua Vorstenbosch, Richard Friedlander and Asha Patel were acclaimed as president, VP finance and VP external affairs, respectively. Vorstenbosch, the current SUS president, expressed “excitement” to be serving a sec ond term. “This gives me the opportu nity to carry out long-term proj ects that I am working,” said Vorstenbosch. Positions with multiple nominees had yet to be decided upon as this issue went to press. These include VP academic (Alexander Malone, Ben Banihashimi and Christopher Lee), VP internal affairs (Kathryn Sparrow and Mike Macaraeg), SSMU representa tive (Lazar Konforti, Farrah Rupani and Junaid Subhani) and VP communications (Hahn Soe-Lin, Lucky Sekhon).

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UQÀM

ELECTIONS RESULTS 2 0 0 3

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, March 18, 2003

News

m IEFEIENDUM: SHATNERRENOVATIONFEE

S h a tn e r to g e t s p rin k le rs

D eC astro w in s O ps Laura Saba

Seven-year capital fee passes by wide margin M ark Sward

Students overwhelmingly approved a fee referendum to reno vate the Shatner University Centre last night. The $11.84 fee, which

spoiled. “It’s really important that stu dents showed a strong commitment to the Shatner building,” said SSMU Vice-President Operations Kathleen Morrison. She said the

JENNY GEORGE

Student counters post election results for anxious onlookers.

will be charged to students each semester for the next seven years, will pay for the last part of a threephase renovation project; it will also settle the Students’ Society’s $580,000 debt to the University for the second phase of renovations, completed in 2001. The unofficial count showed that 52 per cent of votes were in favour of the referendum, 36 per cent said no’, and 11 per cent were

renovations would “[ensure] the utility of Shatner for generations to come.” The renovations, scheduled to be completed by September, will include sprinklers on the second and third floors and a women’s wash room in the basement to bring the building up to fire and sanitation codes. It will also provide new club offices, an improved ballroom, a stu dent kitchen, a darkroom for the

Tribuneand renovations for the sub basement. Gert’s will also be reno vated and will get new ventilation. Sadie’s Tabagie will be moved to B09, a larger space than it currently occupies. The $ 1.8-million project will be financed by the McGill adminis tration, as SSMU will not have col lected the full value of the fee until it expires in 2010. Had the referendum failed, the building would have faced sanctions from the City of Montreal, who three years ago gave SSMU two years to bring the building up to code. When asked for comment on the referendum’s success, SSMU President Martin Doe said, simply, that he felt “good.” A beaming president-elect Naeem Datoo said, “What gives me the big smile right now is... the fact that [our exec] took a referendum that failed, adjusted it, and made it pass.” He added that he felt partic ularly proud that, as part of his cur rent communications and events portfolio, he could help the referen dum pass. Next year’s vice-president oper ations, Rod DeCastro, called the passage of the referendum "gravy" on top of his win for VP ops, and credited this year's SSMU executive with its success. He looks forward to “linking up with [Morrison] and [SSMU General Manager] Guy Brisebois” to prepare for the renovatios project this summer.

VP ops Rod D eC astnn Jesse Rosenfeld Spoiled: 606

President Naeem Datoo Alex Kemeny: Saeed Fotuhi: Spoiled: 448

VP University Affairs Ludmilla Tremblay: ■ ■ 824 Spoiled: 944

VP CaE Kimberly Zell Alex Cassis: Spoiled: 987 vp

Rodrigo DeCastro has been elected vice-president operations of SSMU, defeating Jesse Rosenfeld by a significant margin. DeCastro received 51.9 per cent of the vote, while Rosenfeld received 33.7 per cent, with spoiled ballots accounting for the remaining percentage. DeCastro’s campaign was based on three broad issues: improving services, reaching out to students and involving students, “It’s overwhelming,” he said. “I was satisfied as opposed to sur prised.” “The real work begins now, especially that the [Shatner renova tion] fee has passed,” he continued. He attributes his election to a strong campaign, a solid message and expe rience, as well as the people who worked on his campaign.

“Obviously I’m disappointed,” said Rosenfeld, who ran on the pro gressive platform. “It was a tough campaign, we ran a good [one].” He said that DeCastro had the cam paign experience going for him, and that he accentuated his points very well. “I congratulate him for win ning,” he added. “He put a lot of work into his campaign.” Current VP Operations Kathleen Morrison, who assisted Rosenfeld on his campaign, said that she was surprised by the results, but pleased with the electoral process. “The campaign raised a lot of inter esting issues,” she said. “However, the majority of these will be taken care of by the end of my mandate. It will be interesting to see how the projects that have come so far this year will be dealt with by Rod.” She jokingly added, “I am so... damn disappointed... I am going to drink.”

GRACIA JALEA

VP Ops-elect Rodridgo DeCastro with his PC McGill buddies.

A ccreditation PASS 81% YES 15% NO 4 % Spoiled Shatner Fee PASS 52% YES 36% NO 12 % Spoiled

cas

Mia Gewertz: Rami Hourani Spoiled: 799

Online vote to ta l: 865

8 News

ELECTIONS RESULTS 2 0 0 3

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, March 18, 2003

A â> UTS EXECUTIVE fa à* UTS IEFE1ENDUM:CONSTTTUTlOUlCUNGES Peters w ins Senate, rest w ill recount u t s u u t o i

C h an g e v e rsu s c o n tin u ity in AUS p r e s id e n tia l ra c e Acclamations abound Kim D'Souza

Although Amanda Ens and Seth Offenbach agree that accredita tion is essential and that two-way communication is a priority for the Arts Undergraduate Society, the two candidates for AUS president dis agree on the function of AUS coun cil and the legacy of the current executive. Offenbach, who is an Arts Representative to Students' Society Council, said at the candidates’ debate Thursday night that “AUS has done some amazing things this year but... has also taken a step back when it comes to our involvement with Arts students.” He declared that executive-council relations need to be “more democratic” so that Council is used more “as a resource than a ‘yes’ committee,” whereas Ens is more hesitant, and said that there is “always room for improvement” in executive-council relations. Offenbach is opposed to the proposed amendments to the AUS constitution that would allow AUS to charge fees to Arts students for an additional year if quorum is not met for a referendum renewal question. Ens supports the amendments that were passed by AUS council. Offenbach is also opposed to proposed constitutional amend ments that will be presented to stu dents in a referendum, whereas Ens supports them. The change that Offenbach particularly opposes is proposed section 16.5.1 that allows a fee to be renewed for one year if it fails to meet quorum, but attains two-thirds of the votes cast. It must however, be put to referendum the next year. Offenbach says this “makes it too easy for AUS to tax students without a democratic vote,” whereas Ens feels that this is not the case because of the “opt-outable nature of fee-based questions.” Section 16.5.1 essentially enshrines the process used last year to tacitly renew the $6.50 per semester Arts Student Employment Fund, after it failed to meet quorum require ments. Students will be able to vote on ASEF renewal again this year. Ens and Offenbach each said they would draw from their experi ence as executives to foster a good relationship with the new Dean of Arts and within the AUS executive. Ens is current vice-president admin istration and Offenbach served as last year’s vice-president finance. Ens proposes environmental and anti-discrimination policies and wants a single Arts convocation cer emony; Offenbach proposes more funding for Arts journals, advocat ing a Queer Studies program and conducting a comprehensive review

other positions

of executive portfolios to cut excess spending. VP internal Jeb Assaf and Geoff Simpson, candidates for vice-president inter nal, the only other contested execu tive position, both focused on improving Frosh Week. Assaf sug gested grouping students in frosh groups according to their ability to consume beer and Simpson suggest ed encouraging people to attend dry daytime activities by offering prizes of free beer at night. When asked, both danced like Britney Spears, but only Assaf revealed his midriff. Acclaimed positions John Bowden, who was acclaimed VP external, plans to work with other faculties on career fairs with a focus on summer jobs. Daniel Friedlaender, who was acclaimed VP academic, will focus on academic advising and relations with the new dean. Ana Mihalj was acclaimed to VP administration and Eric van Eyken was acclaimed to VP finance. Both are first-year students. Mihalj plans to communicate through the AUS listserv and to post AUS coun cil documents online. Van Eyken wants to codify fund distribution rules because he feels that the cur rent system is too arbitrary, and he will investigate an exclusive contract with a pizza company for AUS beerand-pizza events. Arts rep to SSMU Five students are vying for the two slots as Arts representative to the Students’ Society Council. The Arts rep is a voting member on both AUS and SSMU councils. Candidates Rachel Marcuse, Elise Legault, Matthew Howatt and Nick Ferreyros debated last Thursday, but candidate Jesse Gutman was absent and did not attend the candidates' meeting with Chief Returning Officer Nick Yeo last Monday. Marcuse and Legault identified themselves with the progressive plat form. Discussion over whether AUS could mandate the vote of an Arts rep at SSMU Council dominated the debate. All the candidates said that they thought of themselves as “representing the prevailing views of AUS.” Ferreyros added “and not myself” and Howatt said categori cally that he would vote as mandat ed by AUS, even if he disagreed, whereas Legault said that she would not “sign a contract [to vote as man dated by AUS]” and Marcuse said that she would consult with stu dents and avoid doing anything “ethically unsound” or that makes her “incredibly uncomfortable.”

Kim D’Souza

Nick Peters was re-elected to University Senate with 1,042 votes, compared to 823 for Ruth Chen and 800 for Ewa Krajewska. The winner of the second seat will likely be decided by a recount. A thrilled Peters said, “I’m glad to see that Arts students real ize that the only way we’re going to have a world class faculty is if we keep up the pressure on the University to keep resource levels in step with increasing numbers of Arts students.” In addition to advocating more funding to the Faculty of Arts and a new Arts

building, Peters plans to continue his work on a comprehensive exam policy. Chen, whose top priority is advocating increased comprehen sive and departmental advising, said, “If people have voted me in, in such a fierce race, 1 guess I had better perform well. I hope what I do will please Arts students. ” Krajewska, who will have to familiarize herself with the work ings of Senate and the Faulty of Arts, hopes to look into under graduate research and advising. She could not be reached for com ment because she was in Ottawa with a group from the Political

Do you kn o w w h o I am? C ontinued fro m p a g e 1

was working with next year’s execu tive. “The incoming people have a little bit less experience, so my biggest priority is to develop the incoming executive into as capable leaders, if not better leaders, than this year’s executive.” Kemeny said he thought he mobilized voters. “I think I sent a message that a students’ society should be focusing on education and student life con cerns first and foremost,” he said. Doyle, who did not campaign heavily, spoke from his home early Tuesday morning. “I hope that SSMU got the message that students should be put first, and that they get the message about what SSMU is doing,” he said. Fotuhi, who was censured by Elections McGill last Monday for placing posters reading “Slanderous and Biased” on stands, said he had no regrets about his campaign. “I feel like Hemingway’s old man after seeing his marlin lost,” he said Monday night.

McGill Daily

Datoo is elated about the pas sage of the two SSMU referenda. “As vice-president communi cations and events, I am so happy that Shatner and accreditation passed, that’s what I’m smiling about more than my victory.” Outgoing SSMU President

JENNY GEORGE

P re s id e n t-e le c t N a e e m D ato o

Martin Doe, who was drinking Spanish sparkling white wine early Tuesday morning, said, “Cheers to Naeem! He’s a worthy successor if there ever was any.”

—withfilesfromMirynneO’Connor

Science Student Association. Krajewska hopes to sit on the Academic Planning and Priorities Committee whereas Chen would prefer to sit on the University Admissions Committee, to work on maintaining admissions stan dards while allowing for more con sideration of people with disad vantaged minority backgrounds. Peters said that whether Chen or Krajewska is elected, the combina-, tion of a new senator and a return ing senator would allow represen tation of a “wider variety of stu dents than has been done in recent memory.”

A n b e r w ill try to J-B o a rd C R O H u g g in s David Anber, who cam paigned for Alex Kemeny, will take this years Chief Returning Officer Sarah Huggins to the Students’ Society Judicial Board for failing to disqualify SSMU presidential candidate Saeed Fotuhi. “I am going to be challeng ing the decision by the CRO [pertaining to] Saeed Fotuhi. There is a lot of evidence that he was violating the rules with his pre-campaigning posters.” Anber went on to liken Fotuhi’s pre-emptive campaigning to that of a marathon runner get ting a three hour head-start before the rest of the runners. Although Fotuhi did not win the election, Anber says “this will be a moot reference challenge, for the sole purpose for making sure that that the wrong precedent is overturned and the right one sec.”

—KatieFugler

Accreditation for SSMU, AUS, SUS C on tin u e d fro m p a g e 1

whole. We can all rest assured that endevours like AUS Snax will be safe and the transferral of student funds will be guaranteed now that they are solidified,” said AUS President Rachel Telch. Seth Offenbach, AUS rep to SSMU Council and SSMU accredi tation ‘Yes’ committee co-chair said, “I am extremely happy and proud of everyone who has helped us achieve one of the most important referen dum campaigns students have ever undertaken at McGill University. With both AUS and SSMU’s termi nating soon, this was a very impor tant vote for both societies.” Offenbach is also running for AUS president. Along with an extended fiveday polling period at 21 polling sta tions, the much-anticipated SSMU online voting system was used to poll the three accreditation referen

da. Students could vote for accredi tation at polls and online Thursday and Friday of last week, as well as online on Saturday. Online votes totalled 865, with 561 voting on SSMU, 163 voting on AUS and 141 voting on SUS. Elections McGill also used fly ing ballots in remote faculties. “We targeted smaller, farther away classes like Nursing and PT/OT, that we could legitimately prove where far away from polling stations or that the accreditation ‘Yes’ committees did not go and talk to,” said SSMU Vice-President Operations Kathleen Morrison. Accreditation will prove a valu able bargaining chip for SSMU, said Doe, as SSMU will renegotiate its letter of agreement and lease for the Shatner Building next year. “SSMU’s existence will be legally protected by an accredited status,” said Doe. “We can now bring more pressing student issues

to the bargaining table.” Rights provided by the Quebec accreditation by-laws include uni versity recognition of a students’ society’s mandate, a room with fur niture, bulletin boards and display stands, access to university build ings during business hours, and a complete membership mailing list, all free of charge. Also, an accredited society is entitled to seats on university coun cils, committees and other bodies and can collect membership fees directly from its constituents. Currently, McGill retains one per cent, or $10,000, of the student fees it collects for SSMU. SSMU and SUS will now sub mit applications to the provincial government for accredited status, which are due to an accreditation agent before April 1. Of the 20 post-secondary insti tutions in Quebec, 95 per cent are accredited.

E L E C T IO N S R E S U L T S 2 0 0 3

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, March 18 , 2 0 0 3

VICE-PRESIDENTCLUBS&SERVICES G e w e r tz

b e a ts

Jenn ifer Jett

In a close race, Mia Gewertz was elected SSMU vice-president clubs and services. She defeated opponent Rami Hourani by a vote of 2,184 to 1,933. “What I had to say was really genuine and honest,” said Gewertz, U2 Environmental Health and Political Science. “I think people listened, I think people liked the way I campaigned and what I had to say.” Opponent Rami Hourani, U3 Chemistry, wished Gewertz good luck. “I think she can do the job,” said Hourani, who is a clubs and services representative to SSMU Council. “I hope she takes into consideration all the groups and be fair with her treatment to all cam pus groups.” Hourani said he will remain involved in student government.

nCE-nESIIEHTBNIKBSITYUFJUBS

'D r . R a m i ' in

As vice-president clubs and services, Gewertz will be confront ed with two issues: providing office space for clubs and influencing the

GRACIA JALEA

VP C&S-elect Mia Gewertz

University room-booking policy and security fees. . Gewertz said the room-book ing policy would be more pressing next year, especially because of the impending war in Iraq._________

VICE-PRESIDENTC0MIMIHICAT10NSa EVENTS

c lo s e

ca ll

“If [the war] is prolonged into next year, I’m assuming there’s going to be a lot of debates... about that and that might raise some con cern from security,” Gewertz said. The passage of the Shatner Renovation Fee last night will help her resolve the office space shortage. “It’s going to be fantastic,” she said. ‘It’s going to be a complete win-win situation for students.” Hourani offered her some advice. “She should put all her efforts into helping the clubs with their financial needs, and try to eliminate any obstacles that they would face,” he said. “When it comes to prob lems between clubs, she should make fair treatment and satisfy all sides of the problem.” Gewertz is looking forward to next year. “I think we’re going to be a really good, cohesive group,” she said. “It’ll be a really successful year,” ____________________

Scott R. Medvin

Kimberley Zell has won the race for Students’ Society vice-pres ident communications & events, defeating Alexander Cassis by a margin of 383 votes. “I feel good about the results,” said Zell. “It hasn’t really sunk in yet.” Zell is vice-president events of the Spanish and Latin American Students’ Association and is on the GRACIA JALEA executive organizing committee of VP C&E Kimberly Zell Students Making Young Lives and see what the best ways are to Easier. As VP C&E, Zell will organize implement my ideas,” Zell said. Both candidates’ platforms Frosh; she will also coordinate other SSMU events. In addition, she will focused on events. Zell called for create a communications strategy more diverse events, including a using email, posters, flyers and the foam party and a street fair. For communications, Zell said SSMU website. “I need to talk to Naeem a lot, she wanted to make new McGill

students aware of SSMU during Frosh, and to have a more grass roots approach to event promotion. Current VP C&E Naeem Datoo, who won the presidency last night, said communications were key. “If this exec prioritizes commu nications over events, it will be a good thing.” Cassis was stoic. “It was a tight race and a great experience. I definitely plan on being involved in SSMU and run ning again next year,” he said. “Both candidates, once they sat down and talked to me., impressed me with their willingness to listen to what went well and what went wrong this year,” said Datoo. “I think that Kimberley can do a good job in the portfolio if she utilize her coordinators well.”

B r I e F s E l E c T i On B r I e F s E l E c T i On

- 1 Hazan acclaimed Law senator Michael Hazan was acclaimed as Law senator, although current Law Senator Lynne Chlala had planned on submitting her candida cy only to ensure that the faculty retained its seat in Senate. “I didn’t know [Hazan] was running. I just wanted to run to make sure we didn’t lose our seat like the music department. I had no intention of running,” Chlala explained. If a faculty student association fails to find a candidate for a Senate seat, its seat is given to another fac ulty. Music students will lose their senator next year because no nomi nations were submitted, and. Management students will gain Music’s former seat. Both of next year’s Management senators, Nathan Chan and Abbas Fazel, were

acclaimed. Chlala said that, had she been acclaimed, she would have resigned. Then the Law Students Association would have had to hold internal elections to select a new senator. Chlala cited her workload and her intent to graduate in three years instead of four as reasons for her decision not to run for re-election. She said that at the last moment she noticed Hazan collecting the nomi nation signatures. Because, no other candidate ended up running, Hazan was acclaimed. At press time, Hazan had not returned an email requesting com ment. —Jeremy Dietz For teachers, acclamations across the board There is a continuing trend in the Faculty of Education when it comes to student politics: there are

Voters choose Choy Sam Goffman

Vivian Choy swept the votes for the position of VP uiversity affairs yesterday, winning 3,060 to 824. There were 944 spoiled ladlots. Choy was somewhat surprised by the high number of spoiled bal lots, as well as the number of votes her opponent Ludmilla Tremblay received, given Tremblay’s absence during most of the campaigning period. Tremblay, who was reached for the first time yesterday evening, indicated that she has neglected her campaign due to a sudden family emergency. Choy was jubilant while the votes were coming in. “Were definitely celebrating,” said a happy Choy. Choy promised that she would uphold her platform during her term as VP university affairs next year.

GRACIA JALEA

VP UA-elect Vivian Choy

“It’s all about following through with my campaign promis es,” she said. “I plan to do it with the best of my abilities.” Choy’s main goals are to improve undergraduate research opportunities, improve the quality of academic advising for students, and create more seminars, especial ly in the second and third years of university.

>f> ENGINEERINGUIB DENIISTIYSENATOIS

Zell wins in tight race over Cassis

E l E c T i On

News 9

Close races in eng and den, voting like pulling teeth M ark Sward

Engineering Senate An unofficial count for the Engineering senator election placed Engineering Undergraduate Society President Philip Carpenter with 281 votes, Nafay Chowdhury with 265, and Amer Kattan with 203. Ian Fichtenbaum came in last at 82. Since the results were unofficial, and vote counts were close, the can didates declined to comment at press time. Dentistry Senate Marie-Alice Mandich took the Dentistry senator position, edging out opponent Ziyad El Tagi with an unofficial count of 21 votes over his 14 at press time.

A small number of votes and a close call aggravated elections officials.

B r I e F s E l E c T i On B r I e F s E l E c T i On S

no elections. That trend continued this year, when the Education Undergraduate Society “didn’t even plan for elections,” said Annie Sabourin, the newly acclaimed pres ident of the EDUS. Though the nomination period ended the Friday before Reading Week, EDUS assumed that no more than one person would be interested in any of the positions, so they did not plan an election. While teachers in other provinces are politically active, Sabourin said that teachers in Quebec are not involved in politics, and the acclamations of student leaders did not surprise her. She said many students are not active in EDUS “because the faculty is so small, and at any given time, up to one third of education students are away on exchange programs, so students are not as politically active [as they are in numerous other facul ties].” However, Sabourin said, “it

would have been nice to have a cam paign.” As apathy towards student poli tics in the Faculty of Education con tinues, finding candidates for stu dent office is a problem. “We are [already] looking this year for stu dents who are interested in running next year,” said Sabourin. As president-elect, Sabourin has already begun “to continue [current EDUS President] Susan Jacob’s work,” which includes attempting to amend the faculty’s current constitu tion. “Right now, the constitution is just a big mess,” said Sabourin. Also, she wants to change the: policies for students transferring into Education from a different fac ulty, because current regulations require that they re-start their entire degree. “We are also working on a web site” she said. —Dany Horovitz

Br I e F s

I PT/0TEXECUTIVE In the Physical and Occupat ional Therapy Undergraduate Society student elections, all of the positions, save one, were acclaimed. Even the position of president of POTUS, which went to Naveen Garg, went unchallenged. The lone elected position, vicepresident of external affairs, was won by Carolina Kwok. After the elec tion, Carolina maintained that she hopes “to continue to bring to atten tion the issues of importance in the McGill Students’ Society and administration to the members in the schools.” Another one of her goals is to increase communication and pro motion of the school to the rest of campus. “[PT/OT is] such a small school,” Kwok said. “And also geo graphically, we are quite isolated from the rest of the school.” —Dany Horovitz

MIS Elections_____________ Elections MIS wants you to have a say! Main» your marft in the Elections and the Referendum Questions.

Amanda Ens A leader is a person going somewhere but not going alone, not only with inspira tion but inspiring others, not only contributing but eliciting others’ contribu tions. I have been estab lishing a new bilingual AUS website and next year I aim to make AUS more accessible and applicable to arts students, including YOU! We are McGill's largest and finest faculty; let's all get involved to make it even better. As the current VP Administration and former AUS councilor, I have witnessed firsthand the dedication and teamwork that make things happen. Make a difference! Use your voice and make Amanda your choice.

Geoff Simpson

Jeb Assaf Any president needs experi ence and vision. My experi ence includes: two years on AUS Council, sitting on four teen AUS committees, and having served as AUS VP Finance. My vision is to improve AUS/Student Communication. To accom plish this, I’ll use Listservs, surveys, and classroom announcements. I also promise to fight for the creation of a Queer Studies program and more student spaces in the new Arts Building. Since departmental journals are vital to AUS, I’ll again increase Journal Funding. Finally, I’ll ensure that our executives undertake a comprehensive review of each portfolio. Pour une A.E.F.A. bilingue votez Seth! Photo by: Claire Coulier

Hi, I’m a third year History/Poli-Sci student and have served as both an Arts and SSMU Frosh leader. I am running for your VP Internal because I believe that Frosh week is one of the most important as well as memorable events in the life of a McGill student and I hope to be able to give incoming froshies a week to remember for years to come. As we all know entering University can be an intimidating experi ence and I hope to be able to create an atmos phere where nçw students can relax and make new friends at McGill.

Hi, I’m Geoff Simpson and am running for Arts VP Internal. For the past two years I have been very involved in FROSH week as O-Staff and a leader. I have also worked at Arts Taverns and am currently Arts Tavern Coordinator. I know what this job entails and want to bring you the best events possible. I will put all my energy into planning wild and crazy parties for YOU next year.

Johni Bowdon It’s time for McGill’s largest faculty to stand up and make some noise! As VP In te r s .fo r Solin Hall I _ Tribune co Ju siSsp K rts Frosh lea(^|ypP~volun teer, AP manag f f#®ljJ)5’ear’ i know what it takes to run thiffcgiJioothly. I’ve got the experience anëtfrkjJtB represent Arts in every realm, fr<M#§Sjpt) to other faculties to the city of M#fl|gÿr. Look around you - McGill lies at the ory.heart of our city. I am dedicated to maksttplprfaculty of Arts an even stronger p resencfpn campus et dans notre ville. Vote John! ’ -

Nick Ferreyros | Hey - My name is Nick Ferreyros and I want to be your Arts representa tive to the SSMU. Now, I’m sure that everyone else will tell you anything I and everything to participate in student govern ment, so no BS - I am here because I don’t like the way things are done, and instead of quietly bitching I’m going to do something about it. I’m not in this to pad my resume or gain “experience" - I’m here to work hard and represent you and the faculty properly. So when it’s time to vote, please remember: Pick Nick for Arts Representative to SSMU!

Rachel Marcuse Running on the progressive platform, Rachel is a UO arts student active on - and beyond - the McGill campus. A participant in revamping the current platform, she has worked on the anti-sweat shop campaign and.sits on SSMU’s Student-Equity Committee. She's a facilitator for Youth Net Montreal - her facilitation skills likely useful in liaison between the AUS and SSMU. Experienced with policy-making (as a member of a citywide student council, working with Vancouver's School Board), she has sat also on many arts, NGO and youth committees. Most importantly, she’ll be straightforward and active - Rachel will fight for student voice.

D a n iel F rie d la e n d e r The VP-Academic is vital in ensuring the ongoing value of our faculty. Wittryour support, I will w|jj<tj|inte grate my d j^ ^ O j^ e rience anclfccijprftion as a Mc(jp|fejpWt leader with understanding Important issues. I aries (24 access). I believe in impi system, for a new joint will fight agai and maintaining the quality of BSc./BA. I, now and in the future. I will fight an to givIB^iSents a stronger voice. I will achieve this thrltlgh representation, advocacy, dedica tion, transparency and hard work. Let’s talk about students for a change.

Ana T heresa Mihalj

Eric von Eyken

My name is Ana Mihalj, and I am representing the students of the Arts Faculty a s VP Ad m in jstratM ?nyjryea r (2003 first year §tea|^ « n terin g a

What does it take to be VP Finance? You have to be able to count to 10 (use of fingers jpt^ytal), you have toJa«f!fcjdto hold ;

througfeoMteeBfh the

Legault

Matthew Howatt

Jesse Gutman Hello fellow Arts student, I would like to represent the ARTS to SSMU. If elected my tenure will have 2 themes: information and communication. Explanatory posters, infor mation sessions and other means will be used to edu cate on the purpose and relevancy of the SSMU. Secondly, I would like to make available to stu dents by making my contact information available : and also would like to have consultative forums for ARTS students. I am a responsible enthusiasi? tic and capable student hoping to do a joint hon ours in Political Science and Philosophy. Contact me at gutman@thetruth.com Thank you.

(or

rtable wearing diapers), and you havëHHfe damn good at saying no (screpsfilgSrts are a bonus). Not only do I mge^ l l j hfëe of these requirements, but I’ve aijjfTsjW h both sides of the student goveraj|||fci<ffiance process, applicant and review8|j?ftat means I know all the tricks in the book. So vote Eric van Eyken for VP Finance.

jrtf^tfics I believe that urce to all students the AUS is a valu; to be part of the AUS of the Arts. I aj on an already strong and hope ke next year the best year foundafici ti ever.

What’s worse than a student politician? One who thinks she can actually change things. But things ARE con stantly changing; the direc tion they take depends on where you're pushing. Progress requires many peo ple pushing together, and communication between the AUS and SSMU councils is essential for that to happen. Parler fort et agir lorsque les circomstances le demandent ne m'effrait pas, l'important est de ne jamais oublier ce qui nous motive. Student power motivates me. Being an active part of a community motivates me. If you want someone who will not for get honesty and diplomacy, vote ELISE for ARTS REP!

On Canada’s East Coast, just like at McGill, we work hard and party harder! My Atlantic Canadian mentali ty provides balance with a relaxed but hard working approach. I bring a wealth of student government experience and involve ment in student life to the position. Being an involved U1 Political Science student makes me both accessible and allows me to sense the pulse of arts. As the voice of McGill Hockey and the World Junior Hockey Championship, there is little doubt that my voice is strong, clear, bilingual and exactly what Arts requires. Matthew Howatt: The Strong Voice for Arts.

Polling Period: March 18,19 and 20. Stations in Leacock, Arts, Shatner, Redpath and RVC

Speatures a tr ib u n e sp ecial : ■■

n r

T rib u n e Features and Sports Special S ection , Tuesday, March 18 , 2 0 0 3

we p T a - y

For the first time in T r i b u n e history, Sports and Features are teaming up to bring you a com prehensive look at why hum ans love to play.

P la y e r s ' h o lid a y : T re a tin g s e x a s a g a m e On average, Canadians have sex 1 5 0 times a year, placing us fourth in the world. From that initial come-hither glance to the frustrating rules and the gratifying end, Pa n t h e a L ee explores our obsession with one of the nation's favourite pastimes. ou gots to be a playa, man” pro claims Master P. The real one, that is, of the album The Ghetto is Trying to Kill Me fame, not this one— as much as I would like to refer to myself as ‘mas ter’— though rent in the McGill Ghetto may very well kill me. This P-Diddy, however, has seen all too well the effects of self-professed ‘players’ at work on their favourite pastime. Inevitably, this gives rise to the question of whether sex is indeed a game. Magazines such as Sports Illustrated and their legendary swimsuit issues suggest that women can be considered a sport to be played. References are made in everyday conversation to ‘winning over’ one’s lover. Sex is seen as the objective end to a game

THEPINUPFILES.COM

for the ‘playboy’ who conquers’ his prey. A night out on the town with the boys finds many of them preoccupied with getting lucky and ‘scoring’. “[Such language] reflects a traditional attitude that sex involves a conquest: a preda tory, sexually aroused male getting his way with a reluctant, chaste female,” observes Dr. Charles Boberg, an assistant professor in McGills Linguistics department. He believes that the language a society uses about sex reflects its attitude towards it. “To some extent, this is a cultural construction of traditional western European society; it also reflects a biological fact, being that male sexual excitement and aggression is a precondi tion for intercourse, whereas female excite ment is not,” asserts Boberg. Cultural historians, scientists, game the orists, philosophers and economists have long pondered and debated the qualifying conditions of a game. Noted German game designer Wolfgang Kramer defined it, howev er, as being made up of several components: a goal, rules, competition, and moderated by the underlying truism that the course of the game is never certain, as chance gets its say. The goal of the game of sex appears to be fairly obvious. “Sex, as perceived by most people, is very goal-oriented,” notes Tara McKee, a workshop facilitator at Good for Her, a Toronto-based sex shop that holds sem inars on topics relating to sex and sex uality. “You have to get to orgasm, you need to give the best blowjob.” While she disagrees with this school of thought and prefers

LTIMEINC.NET

From classic pin-up girls to modern-day swim suit models, the view that women can be a hobby, and sex a game, is being constantly reinforced in a multitude of ways.

to think of sex as a journey, she says it is hard to change prevailing attitudes and work the angle that sex should not be mission-orient ed. It appears as though societal pressures have reduced the act of sex to purely quanti tative measures. Over breakfast with the girls after a wild night of the horizontal tango, the questions of how big, how long—time, that is, you perverts—and how good are unavoid able. “In society, women are considered the holders of sexuality. They’re withholding it from men and men have to get it. It’s about achieving her,” says McKee. “There are a lot of games happening between couples.

Women will play into [this view] and try to hold sex from men, and then men will try to get it.” Beyond the physical, however, the psy chological goal of the game is often ambigu ous and personal. Validation of self-worth and confirmation of ability and prowess are but two of them. Rules of the game, another qualifying condition according to Kramer, seem to have permeated Western consciousness with regards to sex. Self-help pundits for women advocate mind games, encouraging women to abide by standard rules in order to get their man. One only needs to look at the suc cess of the Ellen Fein and Sherri Schneider duo, authors of the New York Times No. 1 bestseller The Rules: Time Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart o f Mr. Right, to realize people seek rigidity and structure in this often-confusing game. Rules seminars and workshops conducted by the authors have become increasingly popular. Rule No. 5, according to Fein and Schneider, is “Don’t call him and rarely return his calls.” These rules haye been criti cized as a hindrance to gender equality, as they reinforce negative sexual stereotypes. Leaving such contention aside, however, the success of this desperate-single-woman gospel confirms that people actively seek and want to be guided by such rulesr in the hopes that it will increase their chances of success in the game. Anyone who has seen Swingers knows that the wait-three-days-before-calling rule has become something of a tenet in the realm of dating. Loathe those that adhere to such rules? Don’t hate the player, hate the game. See THE GAME, page 19

12 Speatures The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, March 18, 2003

A n c ie n t t r a d i t i o n is t r a n s f o r m e d b y t e c h n o l o g y Traditional approaches to w ar strategy and training get a face-lift, as A ndrew S egal investigates. fields, and US soldiers in tanks fired cannons, mortars and Ml6s at theoretical enemies, while also trying to clear the mines. The evolution of war-games In addition, the US and South Korea participate in joint The types of simulations have changed with the style of war-games every year near the North Korean border, in case war should erupt in that theatre. However, as a new age of fighting emerges, domi nated by biological weapons and threats of bombs, live simulation may not be enough to keep troops ready for the threat of war. That is why the US military has been working on a high-tech simulator called Mission Rehearsal Exercise to provide additional training. In MRE, a soldier sits in a room where a scenario is projected onto a 150-degree movie screen, accompanied by audio effects and even distinctive smells. Participants can touch objects and elicit responses in the simulator, and the machine can even recognize voices and different languages, allowing soldiers to converse with the charac ters they encounter. Even more significant—the artificial intelligence of MRE can respond unpredictably, making the simulation slighdy different every time to help prepare troops for the ARMY.MIL different combat situations they may encounter. Allen says the wave of the future for conducting The Japanese get into the game Eighth United States Army soldiers participate in a military training exerwar-games will be through a combination of live troops The umpire played an integral role when the Japanese cise near the demilitarized zone (DMZ) between North and South Korea. and computers, something that was attempted this past used a version of the Kriegsspiel to plan their attack on Pearl Harbor. In the simulation, four of the six Japanese aircraft warfare. War-games, as we know them today, no longer involve summer at the Joint Forces Command in Norfolk, Virginia. “While you’re using real cars, real aircraft carriers, real carriers used were destroyed. As a result, the military was going generals sitting around a table, moving pieces and plotting to call off the bombing, but the umpire of the game, who hap strategy. Rather, they are military exercises designed to replicate ships, those realistic aspects of the exercise, you’re looking at computer arrays that will tell you about the terrain, and will tell pened to be the architect of the Pearl Harbor plan, insisted that real battle conditions. This change in strategy came about as a result of the you about the logistics,” Allen notes. they go ahead with it. Although war-games have come a long way since the days The attack succeeded despite the results of the simulation, Vietnam War. “What you were looking at during Vietnam was but the Japanese may have become over-confident as a result. people learning war while war was going on, which is probably of Kriegsspiel and can definitely help with the actual planning Their mock-up for the Battle of Midway in 1942 showed their the best way to learn war,” says Tom Allen, author of War and fighting, no simulation can predict with any great degree of certainty what will happen once the first shots are fired. navy losing two carriers, and they judged the losses as accept Games. Although war exercises have their strengths, Allen believes Examples of this type of combat preparation are plenty. In able. In the actual batde, however, the country lost four carri the Kuwaiti desert, the United States recently began that they leave out some important factors. “In terms of dealing with civilians and other issues, that’s manoeuvers using thousands of soldiers and hun Q u e e r M c G ill dreds of armoured vehicles in live-fire practices. where the weakness really lies.” presents Positions were prepared to represent Iraqi mine-

hen Sun Tzu wrote The Art o f War circa 500 BC, did he really know what he was getting himself into? Combat simulations, particularly within the past 200 years, have been replicated in board-games and live-fire practice activities. In recent years, the influx of new equipment at the military’s dispos al has left war-games more computerized and complex, a trend that looks to continue, as the memories of trench warfare fade and the era of high-tech conflict begins. The modern history of war-games can be traced to 1811, when the Prussian military adopted a game called Kriegsspiel—literally translated as “the war-game”—for use in practicing battlefield command decisions. Kriegsspiel used wooden playing pieces to indicate the dif ferent types of units, while the rules covered movements and the effects of terrain, and combat was resolved using an odds table. Later versions of the game spread around the world and featured various modifications, such as the inclusion of an umpire, whose purpose was to clarify rules, make deci sions and settle disputes.

PRIDE WEEKS - March 1

ers and was unable to recover from the defeat.

0 - 2 2

17th: A M ystery... 12:30pm - Shatner Cafeteria, 3480 McTavish. FREE!

B u s in e s s 1 'é tra n g e r

17th: " C a n Yo u R elate To Me" W o rksh o p 4-6pm - Shatner Room 310, 3480 McTavish. FREE! 17th: M en's G ro u p : M A C party 7pm - MAC store, St. Laurent below Prince-Arthur. $20. 18th: T ra n s 101 W o rksh o p 5:30pm, Women's Union, Shatner 418, FREE! 19th: S e x T o y s Party (w om en o n ly event, fo r all w om en) 8:30pm - Women's Union, Shatner Rm 418. FREE! 20th: Q u e e r in the W orking W orld 4-5:30pm - Brown Building, room 2007. FREE! 21st: C o m in g Out G ro u p : P rid e 5:30pm - Women's Union, Shatner 418. FREE! 21st: W o m en 's G ro u p : B re a stc a stin g (w om en on ly event) 7:30pm - Women's Union, Shatner 418, 3480 McTavish 10$, pis contact us for reservation. For all women.

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Everyone is welcome! For info: http://ssmu.mcgill.ca/queer queer@ssmu.mcgill.ca - (514) 398-2106

The art of interviews

Jobless? D o not pass go, do not collect $20 0 J . R o b e rts

mong the most widely-played game this time of year is the job interview game. It is also among the most detest ed. Once as .s straight-forward as t fc ltl a game of Go Fish, the job interview has evolved into what feels like an Alice in Wonderland-sxy\z chess game. In the good of days, the rules were fairly simple. You and the employer both understood that you were trading X amount of your time for X amount of their money. You either agreed or you didn’t agree. It was easy. In today’s job game, you must gird yourself for psychological warfare. When they ask, “Why do you want to work here?” do not tell them, “Because I need a job, you idiot!” This will get you nowhere. To succeed, you must outwit the Human Resources imbecile who is inter viewing you. Fortunately, this is not hard. Smile insipidly. Say ‘team’ a lot. Invoke a pas sion for folding t-shirts or carrying plates of eggs. Act vacant and subservient. If you are a woman seeking bar or restau rant work in Montreal, bring your tits.

Display them prominently and tell the sexist cretin interviewing you that you think it would be ‘a lotta fun’ to work in his establishment. If you are seeking employ ment in any restaurant on StLaurent or Old Montreal, begin every sentence with, “You know me, In any interview, do not men tion the word union. If they ask about your feelings about unions, tell them: “That sort of thing is so 1960s. Besides, I don’t like troublemakers”. The rules of the job interview game state that, for most students, it must be played at least once every summer. Failure to play results in a forfeit, in which case the player must return to the house of their par ents, or worse. G0FASTTRACKS.COM

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, March 18, 2003

C hance

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Speatures 13

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Y o u j u s t g o t t a k n o w w h e n t o h o l d 'e m Does gambling translate into easy m oney for those who know what they're doing? Z ack G allinger looks into the odds of winning and w hy som e just can't resist the allure of the parlay. am sure you’ve seen it: the star forward of an NHL team is absolutely flattened by an opposing player. Cut to the stands, where a crazed fan jumps out of his seat and starts screaming madly while waving a yel low piece of paper. The screen goes white and the voice-over says, “Because anything can happen, any one can win.” This is the most recent com mercial for Pro-Line, the Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corporation’s sports gambling venture. It is implied that even you, the ordinary Joe, could end up hitting it big by simply putting down a few dollars on professional sport games. As Jeffery Derevensky, a profes sor of the School of Applied Child Psychology says, online gambling companies focus on “Joe teenagers” for their ads. “Youth are the prime target because they are involved in pro and collegiate sports,” said Derevensky. “It’s the time when, particularly, males have more knowledge about the games. “The more they feel they know, the better chance they think they have of winning.” But is sports gambling really easy money? Can hours and hours of watching games translate into suc cessfully picking the correct out come? Nothing could be further from the truth. If you examine the system objectively, it is quite easy to see that Pro-Line, as well as other provincially regulated sports lotteries, includ ing Quebec’s Mise-O-Jeu, is a fool’s idea of making a quick buck.

BRIAN MINICHIEL10

Some gamblers have religious techniques and systems of betting.

For starters, the parlay, the type of bet a person is forced to make, severely restricts winnings. In ProLine, the odds of the games bet on are multiplied together. That total is then multiplied by the amount wagered in order to determine the possible payout. For instance, if the Maple Leafs are given odds of 1.8, the Canadiens of 2.2 and the Oilers of 2.5 (in three

different games), one must multiply these numbers together (9.9) and then multiply it by the amount bet„ for example $2, giving the gambler $19.80 if the three teams all win their games. It seems like a pretty simple proposition. So why is it such a bad idea? Derevensky believes it is the bookmakers offering credit who can really hurt the average gambler.

“Bookmakers are problematic because people are gambling on credit and it becomes a vicious cycle for young people, who are more prone to addiction.” Any experienced gambler knows that the parlay is a sucker’s bet. It is hard enough to pick the right outcome in one game; imagine how hafd it is to pick the correct out come in three, the minimum num ber of games that must be parlayed in order to place a Pro-Line bet. Most sports fans know that correctly predicting a favourite and two underdogs to win in the same night is very difficult—much closer to 20 to one odds than 10 to one. Pro-Line never comes close to reflecting the reality of how difficult it is to make the correct picks. Many gamblers will say that they have a strategy to beat ProLine—picking only heavy favourites or trying to pick six winners on a sin gle ticket in order to increase the total payout. But the reality of the situation is that there is no possible way to get odds on Pro-Line that are even comparable to those given by real bookies. Pro-Line’s statistics offer more evidence that it is.a black hole for gamblers’ money. The Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corporation reports that it pays back 60 per cent of all money wagered. Even if you make a generous assumption that an excellent gambler is 20 per cent bet ter than the average gambler, that still only gives him a 72 per cent suc cess rate. That means he loses around 30 per cent of his money in the long run. By comparison, slot machines,

which are the biggest moneymakers for casinos, pay out at a rate of about 70 per cent, a return of 10 per cent more than Pro-Line. Why do people continue to gamble if they can’t win much of the time? Alan Auerbach, an associate professor emeritus at Wilfrid Laurier University, has an interesting theory on the matter. “Commercial or governmentsponsored gambling is a voluntary tax on those whose faith exceeds their knowledge of probability theo ry,” says Auerbach. In other words, people gamble because they do not understand that the odds are stacked against them and have confidence that the govern ment would not set up a system that is so brutally unfair to the gambler. While Auerbach’s theory explains the initial motivation of sports gamblers, why do people con tinue going to their local dépanneur as their losses mount? “Most gamblers do win a little from time to time, and that encour ages them to continue [even if their total losses are greater than their total winnings]. Those who never win feel that they’re ‘building up credit’ in the random pattern, so they are also encouraged,” argues Auerbach. For all you sports gamblers out there, save your money. Put it towards something more useful— perhaps blackjack? Travel The World & Get Paid to:

T e a c h E n g lish O ve rse as!

sodat toJüUs» You d o n 't k n o w f o o s It s a game that has brought drinkers and competitors together for decades, insists J a m e s E m p r in g h a m , and that's all that really matters. ver the course of modern history, mankind’s innate tendency towards classification has emerged as a dominant characteristic of the human species. In an effort to aid our comprehension of an everchanging and sometimes turbulent world, we have come up with cate gory upon category, to label, tag and catalog everything under the sun, from countries to crossword puzzles. And why do we do it? To make our lives easier, obviously. We’ve got First Worlds and Third Worlds, code oranges and code reds, and who could forget our greatest accom plishment, that handy little piece of science, known as the taxonomic nomenclature? Surely, some classifications are more helpful than others. The mor tal consequence of lager or stout, for

example, is of somewhat less impor tance than, say, the federal govern ment’s penchant for private or pub lic. Speaking here now as one of the converted, I’d like to propose" an entirely and extraor dinarily helpful new classification to abide by in understanding one another. There are those of us who understand foosball, its brilliant design, its storied history, its capacity for cultural abridgement and role as social ice-breaker. Gitz, bebé-foot, table soccer, foos (a variation on the German fussball)-by any other name smells just as sweet. Then there are those of us who don’t understand foos. There are those who judge the game with

reservation, who view it as an aim less activity for drunken engineering types. There are those who look past the delicate blend of finesse and pow er

the game favours, the glory and esteem it bestows upon those who most demonstrate such skill. There are those who regard the game as some sort of inferior bastard cousin to

table hockey. Table hockey? Patriotic obliga tion aside, don’t even try and com pare the plodding pace that necessi tates table hockey to the fire wagon, barn-burnin’ spectacle that is foos." O f course, that’s just the thing. You either know foos or you don’t; there is no in between. The process of conversion, however, learning to really love foos, is a special one. My own personal story of foos. Hated foos. Thought it lame. Preferred pool, euchre and Uno„ Roommates get foos table. Kitchen table out, foos table in. Repeatedly whipped at foos. Endure incessant trash talk and insults as result. Learn foos. Get See FOOSBALL on page 17

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— Dad, c. 1969 —

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, March 18, 2003

Childhood

Speatures 15

A nostalgic look at our favourite board-games Connect Four “Undoubtedly one of the great est games of all time. There are any number of ways to be beat at this game (four in a row across, up and down, diagonally), and I discovered all of them. Nothing teaches the fine art of humility quite like Connect Four.” — RS

Sorry!

Monopoly

“I didn’t have a lot of friends as a kid, so I used to get my brother to play with me and he hated it. I still thought I was so cool when I would say ‘sooooorry’ every time I won a piece. And sometimes 1 would be the other colours so I could play by myself.” -J R

“As a child, Monopoly was definite ly the favourite in my household. My older brother seemed to win at every physical game we played, like basketball or tag, so there was something especially satisfying about sending him to jail.” — RH

Trouble Flags

“It wasn’t that you simply needed to get ahead, but it was also necessary to set other players behind. While it was a mindless game, it was the kind of game where you had to have the ‘kill or be killed’ mentality. And, boy did it feel good to send your best friends tokens back to start.”

“I was a big nerd. Basically, we had to know the flags, languages, cap ital and currency of every country. We all were so competitive about it, it was super fun. That was me being nerdy when I was a kid. We stopped playing once the USSR broke up.”

— M H

— KN

Twister Spin the Bottle “It seems like my friends and I were always the dirty young perverts playing Spin the Bottle, Suck and Blow and Seven Minutes in Heaven. They’d laugh when a guy would spin a guy on the bottle game but, deep down inside, I was like, “C’mere loverboy and plant those juicy lips on my face.” Somehow, I made it seem like I was into it when all I really wanted to do was kick the girls out and get freaky with the other boys.” — BB

Extreme

“Big yellow dots, yeahhhl! This both colour ful and physical game is an interesting icebreaker of the ‘hey, your bum is in my face variety’. Traditionally, it is the most innocent excuse a preteen or twentysomething can use to become entangled with multiple individuals, but I enjoy Twister because I don’t have to wear shoes, it’s socially acceptable to have my bum up in the air, and the dots are pretty. What other game makes you do endless push-ups and all the blood rush to you head? Suggested office version: Nude Twister and Water Twister. ” . — KR

Arm ed a n d read y to play

T h e latest e x tre m e sport includes packing heat, as J ustin R en a r d reports. hen most people think of extreme sports, skydiving, bungee-jumping and ice-climbing are a few that come to mind. But with the US-born Homeland Security Advisory System at elevated yellow and a potential US attack on Iraq, war is the latest would-be extreme sport to enter the genre for US President George W. Bush. Likewise, Incredible Adventures, a small adventure travel organization in Sarasota, Florida, is in the business of making K2 seem like MontTremblant and gunfire a package basic. If you have ever wanted to be fired at in a smoke-ridden complex, forget wandering around the West Bank for your chance, because, for $3,495 US, Incredible Adventures lets you do the

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same, and survive to tell your friends. “Most people feel like they’ve done everything else. They are looking for something a little more extreme,” said the company’s president, Jane Reifert. Extreme is an understatement. On the Urban Ops mission, adventuregoers spend three days in North Little Rock, Arkansas, training on a firing range with Berrettas and M4s, learning military rescue procedures and pro pelling from a 40-foot high mounted helicopter. On the last day, they put their skills to the test in a war scenario using fake ammunition called Simunitions, paintball-like bullets made for regular-issue guns and used by military and law enforcement for training. They boast an impressive facility as well. “Twenty-one structures that compose an urban training village. Incredible shoot houses, including a 6,100 square-foot house and a two-storey 2,500 square-foot house. Fast rope, urban climbing and rappel tower. Training Props: DC-9, school bus, city bus, two helicopters,” lists the website. Reifert admits that Simunitions hurt. She said, “You are very motivated to move and not be shot; it feels very real.” Incredible Adventures, which was founded in 1993, began by offering MiG-29 trips over Moscow. Since then, ownership has changed hands and the company now boasts over 2,000 MiG flights offered as well as a series of space training and covert training experiences: So if you are feeling less than patriotic, and Hochelaga or South Boston just don’t have enough stray bullets per square mile, hang up your Rossignol for a Smith and Wesson.

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The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, March 18, 2003

Underground W h a t y o u r

"■ * m o m m a

n e v e r

to ld

Speatures 17

"* V * * y o u : G a m e s

o f t h e

u n d e r g r o u n d

While some play cards and others opt for Monopoly, there are some who go to great lengths for the ulti mate thrill, sometimes risking their lives in the process. Panthea L ee reports on the newest phenomenons. ( t

fier fighting, everything else in your life M got the volume turned down,” Æ muses Edward M m Norton’s everyman character in Fight Club. “You could deal with anything. Most of the week we were Ozzie and Harriet. Every Saturday night, we were finding something out. We were finding out more and more we were not alone.” It’s hard to pinpoint what it is exactly about combat that fuels the desire to participate. It could be the adrenaline rush, the need to win, or perhaps just the thrill of the game. Most people stick with games that are within the confines of the law, but underground games prevail among those who seek a greater thrill. The growing popularity of backyard wrestling is one option for indulging one’s inner caveman. Participants gather in formal and informal settings—oftentimes in a backyard, hence the name—and emulate professional wrestling as seen on television. A creation of ply wood and rope or a trampoline serve as the ring. Participants adopt show names, wear masks and develop sig nature moves in attempts to mimic pro wrestling. Underground wrestling federa tions made up of teenagers that gath er weekly to fight have sprung up to the dismay of parents and law enforcement officials, who claim the phenomenon is gaining momentum across the US and in the UK. Many a

involved two cars racing down a straight strip measuring a quarter of a mile long. Today, youth in Montreal still uphold the tradition despite increasing pressure from police. Those caught are generally penalized six points on their driving record and charged with a fine of $430. Montrealracing.com, an online gathering place for those with a need for speed, alone lists over 50 racing crews in the city. Alex, a U3 Biology student who drives a Volkswagen Jetta, claims his love for racing began with his love for cars. “There’s nothing like the sound of hearing my VR6 engine revving up and speeding down a deserted street, just you and the other guy,” he says. He claims he has reached speeds of up to 210 kilometres per hour while racing. “Yeah, it may be stupid, but we’re actually pretty safe about it.” When asked about police crack- ' ANGELFIRE.COM/WRESTLING3/BCWMN, CINEMAN1ACS.VIRTUALAVE.NET, MONTREALRACING.COM downs on street racing, Alex notes, People everywhere are seeking out new and novel ways of playing, sometimes gambling their lives while they’re at it. “It’s becoming harder and harder to organize races, but they still happen. gasoline in their competitions. drag them back into their own terri pie are repressed and discriminated Besides, it gives you that extra buzz Participants jump off of roofs and set tory. Unless rescued by a member of against,” he has said. “That’s why when you know you might get themselves on fire in order to come their own gang, the defeated face a these fights occur. Fighting is a part caught.” From amateur wrestling in the grim future, sometimes resulting in a of our everyday lives.” out as the champion. Closer to home, thrill-seekers armpits of America to the danceclubs Farther south, in Brazil, funk violent death. Brazilian police are balls have gained notoriety. The unsure of just how many lives have find their niche in other forms. Drag of death in Rio and back to street dancefloors of these clubs are like been lost as a result of such turf wars, racing is popular among late-night racing in our own backyard, people adrenaline junkies in remote parts of everywhere are taking increasingly those of any other club, except that as bodies are rarely found. Justice officials allege that pro the city. What originated as a pas dangerous risks in the name of the they see bloodshed. The Brazilian funk music played in these venues is moters dump the bodies into city time for small-town American youth game. The game of life itself is one of fast-paced with a raw, grinding pop sewers and bribe police to turn a in the late 1920s has evolved into an jeopardy, but some of the games techno beat and lyrics that describe blind eye. When major funk ball obsession with car modification and being played bring their participants tales of murder. Over 60 such clubs promoters are apprehended by police speed. Traditionally, a drag race closer to its end.

of these organizations sell videotapes and scout for sponsors in order to raise funds. Household items are used as weapons and range from cheese graters to crutches. A new breed of backyard wrestling extremists even employ firecrackers, barbed wire and

exist in and around Rio de Janeiro alone. Gangs of youth from the slums flock to these funk balls to fight for glory. Rival gangs will occupy differ ent parts of a club and try to beat opponents in the fighting area, known as the ‘corridor of death’, and

Foosball: The gam e th a f s bigger th an drunken engineers larger, the men bigger and the game slighdy slower but more good at foos. Whip amenable to skilled roommates who’d once play. triumphed. Win affec I learned that there tion of lots of pretty are different types of women. playing strategies, that And just like that, there are finesse players, over the course of a few power players and those months of heated foos who can perform with contests, I came ’ to both finesse and power respect and revere the in the same fell swoop. game of foos. Nights at There are players who Bifteck acquired a new only play back, there are dimension, and room those who only play for mate relations improved ward, and then there are as the foos table became those for whom the our new outlet for only way to improve is potentially negative to play solo against bet energy. ter players. I learned that there While I’ve learned are different kinds of a lot about foosball over foos tables. There’s the the course of the last classic barroom tables year, I can say, without where the ball is light, hesitation, that I’ve the table is covered by a learned more about pane of glass, and the myself from foosball game is all over the Foosball table: a barhopper’s most prized possession. over that same time. place. There is the varia So, thank you foos, tion on the barroom glass is missing. Then is are, in my table, where the ball is a bit heavier opinion, the best type of tables, I’m now just as bad as one of those and larger, and the beer-rest pane of those where the playing surface is drunken engineers.

for questioning, teenagers often rise up in arms and plead with police to spare them their balls. Notorious Rio funk promoter Romula Costa has observed that the balls are a form of release and setf-expression for pover ty-entrenched youth. “Violence is normal when peo-

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18 Speatures

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, March 18, 2003

Sport or

D id y o u s a y B r i d g e is a s p o r t ?

Sport

( s p o r t, s p o r t)

A n a c t iv it y i n v o l v in g

p h y s ic a l

e x e r t io n a n d s k ill th a t is g o v e r n e d b y a s e t o f r u le s o r c u s t o m s a n d o f t e n u n d e r ta k e n c o m p e t it iv e ly .

A blurry line exists in the world of gam es between what is considered a sport and what is not. W hich gam es deserve sport distinction? How is a sport defined? A re all gam es sports? To better understand these questions, C aitlin B u ck ley and S arah W right scrutinize the g o m e -sp o rts

status of bowling, darts, race-car driving and cheerleading to see if this

proverbial line exists and, if so, where it can be drawn.

Bowling

Now here’s the lazy man’s sport. You relax, converse happily with No friends and, once in a while, you throw a few balls down a relatively small lane. Bowling comes with all the action: arm Did you know .that national bowling competi motion combined with the ability to lift a 16-pound ball, leg lunges when the ball is released, and a simultaneous tions in the US draw larger TV audiences than some competitive edge. The negative requirements? Very little. NHL games? Many enthusiasts would see the wide Bowling demands no sprinting, no warm-ups and no run popularity of bowling as a good enough reason for ning. It’s the ultimate sport where you don’t break a sweat. granting it the status of sport. I am going to have to Sure, most people can pick up the concept fairly quickly. disagree with a country that can pull a 20 million-plus Regardless, bowling requires sporadic physical action and audience for Married by America. Bowling is all about the accessories. What matters most to bowlers is not the athletic excursion, which makes it a sport. score, or their skill, but the style. There’s the shoes, which have developed into a — CB style now sported by every footwear company in the Western world. The other integral piece to a bowler’s wardrobe is the shirt. Don’t tell me your lime green thin-collared shirt with the name “Hairy Larry” printed on the pocket doesn’t make you the coolest. Y es Also—and I welcome anyone to prove me wrong on this— there are no famous bowlers with a household name in the sporting community. That says it It takes talent to make it in cheering: my mom was a all, really. cheerleader for the Nets, and I don’t think I could even do -SW half a split. This sport requires strenuous physical training and constant .movement, something that can’t be acquired from your mother’s DNA. Instead, cheerleaders work around the clock to build strength, endurance, synchronization and atti tude. Not only is this a physical sport, but it requires a certain mindset, and the two need to go together for a squad to be suc No-----------------------------------------------------------cessful. Come on girls, imagine them with a little more clothing on... now will you be less harsh? A cheerleader’s job is simple. Smile, keep rhythm, smile, clap, smile, cheer in unison, smile — CB as if your life depended on it. The type of cheerleading I am referring to is the kind we see here at McGill, where the cheerleaders stand on the sidelines while the fans watch the sport. There is no doubt that cheerleaders have athletic talent. A routine does require a great Y es deal of coordination and strength. But then again, so does stacking boxes in a crowded garage. Cheerleaders are motivators, not competitors. Their task is to make the fans cheer for the ath I have one phrase for you: hand-eye coordina letes. To inspire and encourage is a thankless job, and they do it well, but leave the sporting to tion. A darts competitor requires more accuracy than the people on the field. a baseball pitcher. Throwing an 18 to 24-gram object — SW at a target less than a square inch in size from eight feet away is the greatest test of precision. What’s more, successfully performing such a task under the influence is bound to capture the admiration and respect of any sports fan. The game of darts is a pastime, easily distinguishable from a sport. Forget the argument that little to no physical exertion is Even better, kids can learn to required; what about the fact that bars worldwide offer this game to drunken patrons? throw darts at a young age with userCan you really respect a game that is played just as well after pounding back a few pints? I think friendly Velcro versions. Hey, it’s not. Besides, the origin of the game actually comes from 15th-century French battlefields, where sol cheaper than putting your kid in soc diers would practice their aim with broken arrowheads. This fact is just as true today, where target cer or hockey. practice is not a sport, but a battle guide. Honestly, if darts were considered a sport, imagine how the —SW Crusades would’ve gone... — CB

Cheerleading

Darts

Race-car driving

Although race-car drivers are in fact sitting for the duration of a race, there is something to be said for mental exercise. Whether it’s NASCAR or Formula One, a race-car driver must maintain complete focus and concentration for a long period of time. Strong fitness of the mind gives drivers the reflexes needed to deal with the unex pected. The intensity and speed of such moments no doubt accelerates a driver’s heart rate. As in any other sport, race-car driving requires a strategy, a plan of attack. A driv er must pick his/her moments and assess the strengths and weaknesses of the other drivers and act accordingly. — SW

No Andretti. Petty. Earnhardt. It seems a simple matter of nepo tism to become a member of the NASCAR world. That’s fine... but do Daddy’s genes actually pass on talent? Besides the ability to squeeze into that tiny vehicle, no, not that I can see. Don’t get me wrong, the knowledge and concentration it takes to be a driver is tremendous. But, really, slap a McDonald’s advertisement on your ear and you have enough money to learn all there is to know. Is race-car driving competitive? Sure. Do you need to actually keep in shape in order to succeed? I don’t think so. -CB

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, March 18, 2003

V id e o 4 ^ ^ ^ )

" * •

* ♦

Speatures 19

C h a lle n g in g v i d e o - g a m e h a t r e d : T h e y 're a 'i g h t Video games are often attacked for inducing violence in youth. Is there truth to these allega tions, or is the industry simply a scapegoat? E lish a S ie g e l questions these claims. he video-game industry moral fibres of society and cause brought in $ 10-billion last child delinquency. Their logic is year through the sale of that video games promote aggres games, software and con sive behaviour, which will lead to soles. That’s more than the more shootings like those of film industry can boast. Columbine several years ago. Current trends in the industry Funny, I thought video games toward increasingly violent games, only led to obesity. however, coupled with certain Columbine happened because events in society, have raised con two kids went nuts, not because cern in the ‘we attack things that they played too many hours of scare us because we are old and out James Bond on the Nintendo 64. of touch’ community. Violence against women is a sad American Senator Joseph reality in our world, but it has a Lieberman recently attacked the long history of its own. Nobody industry for releasing hits such as learned how to beat up prostitutes Grand Theft Auto: Vice City and from Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. If BMX: XXX, accusing them of pro this were true, then scores of pro moting violent behaviour in society. football players would emerge in “This relatively small but high the NFL thanking Madden NFL ly popular minority is not just 2003 on Playstation 2 for helping pushing the envelope,” he them hone their skills at cornerback remarked. “They are shooting, tor and teaching them to make ‘the big turing and napaiming it beyond all play’. recognition and beyond all decenWas it not just five years ago » cy. when we rose up in arms about rap Concerned politicians and per Eminem pushing the limits of industry watch-dogs insist that decency? And what did that litde strict limitations be enforced white boy end up doing? He because video games destroy the cracked a few gay jokes and then

The g am e of h an k y p an k y

went multi-platinum. And glory be, we are all still present on planet Earth to buy his records and laugh until our gums hurt. We can all sympathize with Lieberman. The world today is about as pleasant as a razor blade colonic. But this latest crusade on the video-game market is a tired and fruitless endeavour. Stephen Hawking versus Mike Tyson would be a better fight. Ring the bell, this one is a no contest and the video games are your new champion. Top 3 video games to keep you in on a Saturday night 1. Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (for Playstation 2) Sell your soul to the devil and you still won’t find a better game. 2. Goldeneye (for Ninentendo 64) This game has a gun that can shoot 80 bullets in eight minutes. Really what more do you want? 3. Madden NFL 2003 (for Playstation 2) This football offering has set the bar for sports games beyond reason.

• Don’t forget your breakfast card! •Hamburger care

Continued from page 11

Competition rears its head in the form of all the pretty people out at the bar. Primping and priming for a big date is not alien to most. With the final goal in mind, the path may be uncertain, but an over riding principle stands out: you gotta look good to get there. “I dress up when I go out clubbing,” shares Jen, a U1 Arts student. “Everybody else is and you don’t want to just be another face in the crowd. You want to stand out.” Finally, toss in a dash of fate For good measure and all the condi tions for a game have been satisfied. As every player or playette worth his or her little black book knows, the locus of control isn’t always within one’s reach and, like it or not, luck will take its course. And what do the games themselves reveal about their participants? “All games require at least some degree of abstract intelli gence, while many also require sophistication, judgement, creativi ty, or a combination of these,” says game inventor and President of Polymath Systems Kevin Langdon. A certain level of sophistica tion certainly distinguishes the average Joe from a smooth-talking Don Juan. Creativity shines through in such charming pick-up lines as “Are you a parking ticket?

Because you got fine-fine-fine writ ten all over you” or “I wish you were a carousel at Wal-Mart so I could ride you all day long for just a quarter.” Judgement calls require some brainwork—was she winking at me or does she have something in her contact? It seems sex has literally become a game in some senses with role-playing, fetishism and dressing up all becoming the norm. The playing of games is a defining character of man, notes Langdon. “Thus, [games] have come to occupy a prominent place among the metaphors which have been employed for human life.” Some men may define their masculinity in terms of how they play the game and their results from engaging in it. Each woman is perceived as another notch on his belt of machismo. The quest to find the trophy husband or wife consumes some once they feel they’ve hit their mar rying prime. The lament “I’m too old for this game [of dating]” is heard and the goal then shifts to one of marriage and the quest for Mr. or Mrs. Right begins. Indeed, the success of Bridget Jones’ Diary suggests a collective desire to be a ‘smug married’ rather than a ‘shameful singleton’. Attainment of this revised goal then becomes vali dation of ourselves and the mate

with whom we end up, which is a reflection of our own efforts. “Sex games are as dangerous as playing cards,” asserts Fareed Ramezani, a second-year Political Science student at Concordia University. “You might sporadically play and that’s fine, but then you might get carried away and, before you know it, you’ve become addict ed to gambling.” Is sex a game of seduction? Or does it run deeper and become a precarious game of conquest? It boils down to a person’s expecta tions of the game and motivations for playing it. “Sex is a game of Risk,” said Christian McGuire, U1 Management. “Through the chaot ic battlefield of desire, one collects trophies and conquers the world.” On the front lines, people get hurt and hearts get trampled on. As individuals struggle to make sense of the seemingly arbitrary and senseless rules of the game of dating and sex, frustrations can run high. Between rules, mind games and playing hard-to-get, we’re all equally confused and thus concede to playing the game in order to try and make sense of our own desires, organize our actions and maximize our chances of ‘winning’. Bottom line? Don’t player hate, participate.

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The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, March 18, 2003

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Speatures 21

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E u c h re : B rin g in g p e o p le t o g e t h e r f o r 2 0 0 y e a r s Embraced by small-town community halls and Legions across the country, M ark K err examines the evolution of a game once limited to a senior gen eration, which can now be found in University tournaments. om m unity halls progressive system, where your ple trick game were established and Legions were grand total at the end of the night two years ago at the University of once the centre is a summation of all the points Michigan. of rural life in you have won in eight games. “I started the euchre tourna Canada. Why go Because euchre is played with a ments as a means of getting players to the big lights partner, success depends to a large for an annual intercollegiate recre over an hour away when all of your extent on the people you are paired ation tournam ent,” says Betsy friends were just up the road? with over the course of the night. Sundholm, Michigan Union Most nights these tiny wood Tournament play is fast- Billiards manager. en structures bustled with activity. paced, with players rushing to get Euchre attracts a younger Folks gathered for chicken din as many tricks as possible. Talk is audience, according to Brian ners, dances and Christmas pag limited, except for some chit-chat Gorney, an Engineering student at eants. And, oh yeah... card games. during the deal. Socializing comes the University of Michigan, who We mustn’t forget the card games. later, when the light lunch is learned to play during high school Euchre dominated as the served. lunch hours. game of choice in the area that I If a person is slightly unsure of “My grandparents know how grew up. Sure, poker was popular, the techniques of the game, he/she to play the game, but the impres but that was a game for the boys at risks getting swept away in the sion I get is that it’s more of a home drinking on a Friday flurry of cards that cross the table. younger person’s game,” says night— quite an inappropriate Roantree notes that those Gorney. “In addition, since euchre activity for public gatherings. people that play to win are not as seems to have centred around Euchre offered more gender- accepting when mistakes happen. Michigan, it’s pretty easy to find inclusive entertainment. The top For all the talk of competitive someone to play, no matter what male and female scorers received a ness, however, tournaments are age group.” portion of the money collected at appealing for more than the small Over a short time period, the door. A ‘prize’ was awarded to change awarded at the end of the euchre has soared in popularity on the player with the lowest score, night. People play to have fun and the Michigan campus. There are and a 50-50 draw was held at the catch up on the community gos nearly 100 players signed up, with end of the evening. sip. attendance ranging from 24-32 JENNYGEORGE While the halls and Legions Furthermore, euchre gives the people at each tournament. If spades are trump, there is no way to win against this bauer-laden hand. are no longer a central part of older population a chance to “The euchre tournaments small-town, community life, the escape the house for a few hours. It have been one of the most success continuing to grow [exponential Sundholm. While the tournaments are euchre tournaments have contin is not that far to travel, and the ful programs that [the Michigan ly] for at least two to three more meant for a good time, occasional ued. game serves as a distraction from Union Billiards Room] have start years. “If they win a weekly tourna ly someone will try to win at all “I think that [euchre games] everyday concerns. ed in a decade,” says Sundholm. are still popular,” says Danny Some students have realized “In the first year, we averaged ment, they get a $20 gift card for costs. “I did have to eject someone Roantree, a resident of Seeleys the diversionary appeal of euchre. about 15 players a week. This year, local stores. There is no cost to Bay, Ontario, a small town half an Tournaments devoted to the sim it almost doubled. I can see it enter, and it’s fun,” continues from the tournament this year for cheating, watching the hour east of Kingston. cards as he dealt them. “Each small community But for the most part, in the area seems to have they are friendly.” a euchre competition. Roantree now sees We have one at the more and more of the Legion. It is full almost local kids accepting every week, with eight The Basics dealer, who has the same options. If the dealer euchre into their lives. tables (32 players).” Euchre is a plain trick game for four players in decides to pass, he/she turns down the card, “It seems to be fixed partners sitting opposite one another. The If the dealer turns down the card, the person to Euchre is just as seri popular already,” game is played with a 24-card deck consisting o f the the left can call any suit they want to be trump ous a game as it was in 9, 10, jack, queen, king and ace in the four suits. The (except the suit that was turned down). They have responds Roantree the past. I remember my dealer distributes five cards to each o f the players the option to call a suit, call a suit and go alone or when asked whether grandmother coming and leaves one card face-up after all the players have pass to the next person. the younger generation home from tournaments their cards. If it is passed around to the dealer again, the will pick up the game. peeved. The highest card in any trump (suit called) is the dealer can call, go alone or discard the hand. If the “I know that at the high “Didn’t have any jack (right bower) in that suit. The next highest card dealer discards the hand, the player to the left school they have a tour luck,” she would say is the other jack (left bower) o f the same colour, becomes the dealer and a new hand is dealt. nament. And a couple most nights upon arriv Next follows ace, king, queen, 10 and 9. The other teenagers have come ing home. Even today we off-suit cards rank from the ace to 9. Playing the past two weeks [to discuss her performance Note: The left bower is considered trump and is After a suit has been called, the person to the left the community in the local card circuit. not put in this order. A trump card is higher than any o f the dealer plays a card, euchre].” “I see [euchre] just non-trump card. People escaping for fun, but there are Example: With clubs as trump, the highest to Scoring their small towns for some people there to lowest ranking is jack clubs, jack spades, ace clubs, In order to gain points when you or your partner the big smoke will con win,” says Roantree, who king clubs, queen clubs, 10 clubs, 9 clubs. has called trump, you must take three o f the five tinue to leave behind learned the game from tricks. If you get the three tricks, you score one deteriorating commu his mother when he was Calling Trump point. If you get five tricks, you get two points. If nity halls and Legions. a teenager. He estimates The table is played clockwise with the person to you have a successful lone hand and get all five But everyone needs to he has played the game the left o f the dealer going first. The person beside tricks, you get four points. be part of a community, for close to 45 years. the dealer has the choice to either order up the card If you and your partner don't get three o f the five and euchre will contin There is no doubt to the dealer, order up the card to the dealer and go tricks when you’ve called trump, you get “euchred.” ue to bring people ing the intense environ alone without a partner or pass to the next person. Your opponents get two points for the euchre. together, regardless of ment of most euchre This goes around the table until it gets to the whether they are senior gatherings. The tourna citizens or university ments are based on students.

The Rules

TRACK AND HELD

CIS CHAMPIONSHIP

A li-K h a n e n d s u n i v e r s i t y c a r e e r in s t y le , w i t h t h r e e g o ld m e d a l s a t CIS c h a m p i o n s h i p s Sarah Wright______________________

The trophy case in Tomlinson Hall is going to have to make room for some new hardware. Sarah Ali-Khan, arguably McGill’s top female athlete, won three gold medals and was named co-athlete of the meet, along with Calgary’s Jessica Zelinka, leading the women to a fourth-place finish at the Canadian Interuniversity Sport Championships this weekend in Windsor. The men’s team finished 14th overall, with Daniel Lennox winning a bronze medal in the 1,000-metre event. Ali-Khan, in her final year of CIS eligibility, put in her strongest performance on the track. She took first place in the 600 (1:29.97), 1,000 (2:46.58) and 1,500 (4:38.8) metre runs. At the same time, AliKhan broke the McGill records she set last season in the former two events. The 29-year-old doctorate stu dent in Pharmacology capped a very strong collegiate career as the alltime gold medal winner in McGill history with 50 in 26 career track meets, including a school- record total of seven gold medals in five trips to the CIS Championships. “Sarah carried us,” said a very proud track and field head coach Dennis Barrett after the meet. “She put in an outstanding performance, and she accomplished a very tough feat, showing all of us what an amazing athlete she is.” Ali-Khan is the first McGill athlete to be crowned a national triple-gold medallist since CIS began in 1980. “She surprised even me,” said Barrett. “Her attitude really showed me that she is a real competitor and she really impressed me.” The long distance track races have a history of fielding some of the country’s tightest competition. Last season, Kate Vermulan of the University of Western Ontario

Zyromski takes title, women win overall competition The McGill alpine ski team finished off the Quebec Student Sports Federation season last week end, where Nicolas Zyromski won the men’s individual title. Zyromski (profiled in the March 11 Tribune) accumulated

almost won the 600, 1,000 and 1500 m events herself, but she was robbed of the title by Ali-Khan, who took the 1500-m in the final sprint. This year, however, Ali-Khan proved to everyone early on that she had something the other athletes did not. “We get a little superstitious as coaches, so I didn’t want to jinx her by getting excited after she got her first gold [in the 1,000 m],” said Barrett. “But then the coach from Queen’s took me aside and said that he couldn’t see anyone beating Sarah at all in the 1,500 m and it is really nice to hear that from another coach. “I realized at that point that there really was no one to challenge her—none of her competitors in the 1,500 m had her speed.” Ali-Khan crossed the finish line over five seconds before the silvermedal winner. Her success was sup ported by several other strong McGill female performances. Nicole Portley finished fourth in the 3,000 m in a time of 10:06.47. Portley was also a mem ber of the fourth place 4x800-m relay team anchored by Ali-Khan, along with teammates Lindsay Lessard and Leslie Marcotte, which finished in a time of 9:19.89. Dawn Creighton finished fourth in the triple jump with a distance of 11.95 metres. “Nicole got a lot of points for us in the 3,000 m,” said Barrett. “Although Dawn was probably a lit tle disappointed with her fourth place because she got a silver medal in the same event last year, she ran very well for us.” Other top-10 finishes by McGill came from freshman Véronique Foley, who was 10th in high jump, and Hannah Moffatt, who placed ninth in pole vault. On the men’s side, Lennox took home the lone McGill medal, finishing third in the 1,000 m in 1,200 points. L’Université de Québec à Montréal’s Daniel Gaignard came second with 950 points. Zyromski was named McGill’s male athlete of the week. The next closest McGill com petitor was Christopher Owen, who finished 20th overall. In the men’s overall competi tion, McGill finished second with 3,813, as Montreal rook the title with 5,717 points. On the womens side, LiseMarie Acton, who transferred to Ottawa from McGill last year, won

2:29.08. He also anchored a fifthplace finish by the 4x800-m relay team with Jeff McCabe, Marty Fox and Ryan Beaton. Beaton, one of the team cap tains and a medal hopeful, had a disappointing 12th-place finish in the 1,500 m. “Ryan got a virus [the week before CIS finals] that just killed his season,” explained Barrett. “He could have picked up a medal in the 1,500 m, but he got bogged down by a virus.” McGill track athletes and coaches were aiming to place fifth as they headed to Windsor, having captured second at the Quebec

Student Sports Federation Championship at the end of February. “We have a team policy that a top-five finish is a successful sea son,” explained Barrett. “O f course, we would like the gold, but based on the other teams in CIS, our recruiting capabilities, our resources and our emphasis on academics, we have to be more realistic. “Our goal was to win Provincials and be in the top five at the Nationals.” Despite coming up short on a few goals this season, Barrett main tains that his 2002-03 track and field team is one of the best he has

ever worked with. “Some ended up short of what they were striving for,” he said. “But they all went after it, and they have absolutely nothing to hang their heads about.” Barrett says he will not change the team’s objectives for next season, as it will only be a matter of build ing on the momentum stirred up this year. “I don’t think I’ll have a Sarah [Ali-Khan] next year. Hopefully I can land some good athletes who can compliment our veterans here, because we have a good nucleus to build on. I know they will be hun gry. I’m pretty excited for next year.”

with 1200 points. McGill’s Kveta Safarik held down third position with 900 points overall. Teammate Jessie Behan was fifth with 860 points. McGill won the team compe tition with 4,652 points, ahead of Montreal, who finished with 4,268.

combine, taking place in Ottawa on March 22 and 23. The tests measure players’ rela tive times, strengths and overall agility. The evaluations will be used as a benchmark for the CFL draft that takes place April 30. The McGill players are part of an elite group of 40 athletes invited to the combine.

McGill sends three players to • CFL combine Offensive guard Jim Merrick, running back Nick Hoffmann and safety Andrew Cook were invited to the Canadian Football League

Tribune solicits for fans’ favourite moments Over the course of this year, the McGill communtiy has enjoyed many special moments. From rec

ognizing the Olympic accomplis ments of Kim St-Pierre, to freezing in the cold of Molson Stadium du r ing the Redrnen football playi ft run, dtere has rarely been a dull moment around McGill Athletic The Tribune has reported on the athletes and events all semester. Now we want to hear from you. What was your favourite mome it from the year past? Send your memory to mcgiUtribunesports@hotmail.com, and we will publish in the April 1 issue. Please keep submissions to 300 words.

e S tu d en ts’ Ity (S S M U ) gives a number of awards to

e n ts’ S o c ie ty that have dem

sadership and outstanding service to the stude

tions to the followi

organizations that have been named finalists:

Senator of the Year

SSMU Committee of the Year

SSMU Coordinator of the Year

• Lynne Chlala • Vivian Choy • Nick Knowland

• Executive Committee • First Year Committee of Council • Students’ Society Programming Network

• Justin Phills • Michelle Marsman • Kris Filion

Event of the Year

CamDus Group of the Year

SSMU New Club of the Year

• Open Air Pub • SMYLE Singles Auction • Secondary Schools' United Nations Symposium

• Computer Science Undergraduate Society • International Management Society • McGill Science Computer Taskforce

• McGill Association of Canadian Hockey Observers (MACHO) • Midnight Kitchen • SAVVY; Money Made Easy

SSMU Club of the Year

• Engineering Undergraduate Society • Management Undergraduate Society • Science Undergraduate Society

Facultv of the Year

• Best Buddies • IRSAM • Red Herring

SSMU Volunteer of the Year

Publication of the Year

• Patricia Snyder • Pat Padgen • Miriam Zia

• McGill Tribune • Plumber’s Faucet . SSMU Handbook

SSMU Service of the Year

• Campus Equity Week • Racial Democracy Conference • Vagina Monologues

Black Students Network McGill First Aid Service Queer McGill TV McGill

w o u ld lik e to c o n g r a d u -

• • • •

late all th e a w a r d s a p p li

Chip Arnaldo F. Philip Carpenter Markella Georgiadis Junaid Subhain

ca n ts.

W in n e r s w ill be

a n n o u n c e d at th e SSM U A w a rd s B anq uet o n M a rc h 2 6, 2 0 0 3 .

Web Site of the Year

Campus Life Project of the Year • • • •

T h e s e le c t io n c o m m itte e

President of the Year

• Caribbean Students’ Society / www. ece. mcgill. ca/~carib) • McGill Science Computer Taskforce (taskforce.sus.mcgiH.ca) • Secondary Schools' United Nations Symposium (www.ssuns.org)

Thursday Night Tradition

M U S

Phassion Show This year AIDS Phassion show will be held on March 20, 2003 at Aria Night Club, 1280 St. Denis.

PRIDE WEEKS! March 9-22

Every Thu rsd ay =

r e t Q ff

c o s t®

▼

tu e s d a y lE ] W e d n e s d a y I Queer McGill Pride Week Info: www.ssmu.ca/queer

Doors open at 9pm. Show starts at 10pm.

Info: www.ssmu.ca/queer

HOMO HOP Shatner Ballroom March 22, 2003 - Doors Open @ 10pm

th u rs d a v

fr id a y r ll

s a t.

FREE Mock LSAT

T N T @ Gert’s Bar

Ruddigore

Arts W-125, 6pm Info: 1-888-2REVIEW

Thursday Night Tradition

Moyse Hall - 8pm www.ssmu.ca/savoy

Moyse Hall

SSMU Council Meeting

Queer McGill Pride Week

6pm - Bukman Council Room

MUS Phassion Show

Queer McGill Pride Week

Info: www.ssmu.ca/queer

Aria Nght Club - 9pm

Info: www.ssmu.ca/queer

Homo Hop Shatner Ballroom

sun,

Ruddigore Moyse Hall - 8pm

For more info, please see: www.ph assign.ca

Arts Tavern Shatner Ballroom - 10pm

tu e sd a y I

W ed n esd a y I

A Night of Enchantment

T N T @ Gert’s Bar

Gert's Bar Doors open @ 7:30pm For more info email: info@redherring.hm

Thursday Night Tradition

Winter Jam Gert's Bar

One World, One Faith

Info: www.ssmu.ca/queer

t u e sd a y I

Application Deadline for SSMU Postions Info: www.ssmu.ca

Queer McGill Pride Week

m ondayl

hriday

th u rs d a v I

Info: http://www.ssmu.ca/bahai

W e d n e sd a y I

th u rs d a y J T N T @ Gert’s Bar Thursday Night Tradition

SSMU Council Meeting 6pm - Bukman Council Room 2nd Floor, Shatner building

fr id a y l If you would like your event posted in next w eek’s listing, please email: cc@ssmu.mcgifl.ca

24 0p/Ed

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, March 18, 2003

Letters

EDITORIAL “M en are apt to prefer a prosperous error to an afflicted truth ” — Jerem y Taylor

Are finders' fees OK? The definition of basic human needs encompasses a supply of food, water, shelter and clothing that will allow one to adequately survive the given climate in which one lives. Although this is an oversimplified definition of what could be a PhD the sis, I am quite sure that the most liberal definition would not go so far as to define shelter as a bright 5 1/2 within a 10-block radius east of McGill. As the apartment-hunting season gets into full swing, the issue of finders’ fees becomes unavoidable. Many people find this to be immoral, illegal—which it is!— or cite it as yet another example of how “those cap italistic bastards are ruining the world!” As far as the argument against cap italism goes, due to space constraints, I will simply reply by making refer ence to the laws of supply and demand. Welcome to the real world. 1here are people out there with more money than you, and if they want a nicer house in a nicer area, they will buy it. Is it soon going to be wrong of peo ple to own a BMW, or should we all settle for a Lada? This policy stands as good of a chance against capitalism as the Berlin Wall did against a wrecking ball. 1 have met few students who follow the French Civil Code line by line. Whether it’s jaywalking, trying to buy beer at 2 am from a 25-hour dep, or calling a random pager number to have a strange person stand in your doorway 15 minutes later with a large Tupperware container of herbs and fungi, many students have broken the law in one way or another. Don’t complain to me about how you have to sit in the apartment you didn’t want, smoking your illegally acquired drugs, listening to your ille gally downloaded Bob Marley. I can’t do anything about YOUR problem; the police or the Régie du Logement are the only ones who can help you. To think that the fine men and women at station 19 are going to take a proactive approach to this issue by going door-to-door, posing as under cover students looking for people charging finders’ fees is ludicrous. Personally, I am thankful that the police choose to occupy their time hunting down murderers, rapists and thieves, not fourth years—who paid a finder’s fee for their apartment three years ago—who are now trying to get their summer rent paid.

Nathan Lebioda

equally be considered childish. As a After the function ended, the newspaper, the Daily has a certain SSMU people in charge simply let Concerning a letter written by degree of responsibility inextricably people go in and “claim” their own Rachel Davidson last week (“Exams associated with its power. With the coats. My son’s new jacket with all ignore holy days”) I just want to say next issue coming out only after his residence keys in its pocket now one thing: there are no exams on elections are over, declaring unilat rests on the back of whoever saw it, Easter, as Easter is and always has erally in favour of a single candidate liked it and took it. been celebrated on Sunday, and After much wrangling, SSMU when candidates do not have a McGill doesn’t schedule exams over (Naeem Datoo) offered to pay half timely right of response is clearly weekends. I feel she put forth a legit irresponsible. In addition, while the cost of the jacket (we had pro argument concerning exams, which campus media outlets such as TV vided receipts, showing the cost and fall on the Holy Days of Passover, McGill were asked not to broadcast that it was recently purchased). but she failed to have the correct I found the proposed resolu campaign films during the elections facts to support it! tion unacceptable. SSMU should so as not to unduly influence lastJessica White minute voters, the Daily was widely assume the responsibility for the U3 Italian Studies available right next to most voting costs of its negligence. In addition, the cost of replac desks. As far as I am concerned, I Slandered Saeed do not need the Daily to make up ing all the residence keys, a cost my Tuesday’s top topic of conver my mind for me. And as far as the son will be responsible for if SSML sation will undoubtedbly be the flu candidate is concerned, the person does not take responsibility for its orescent yellow posters with the at least has some guts to take imme negligence, is a costly $159.88. terms “Slanderous and biased” I read the report on diate action for something he prominently displayed next to the believes is unjust rather than wait “Pitchergate” with great interest, in McGill Daily newspaper dispensers. for the administration to make him light of the above (“J-Board to Although the claim that this poster run around. That attitude is some investigate Pitchergate allegations’ ing (apparently by SSMU presiden Tribune, February 18). Perhaps in thing we need more of at SSMU. tial candidate Saeed Fotuhi but I Colin Fersten the future, SSMU will provide did not actually see his name... it U 1 Computer Science more effective and honest leader had been torn off) was childish ship and insure itself some muchsurely has some merit since pretty needed credibility. SSMU has my coat much every newspaper has a bias, Maureen Devine I am a parent of a first year the onus does not lie squarely on Hingham, MA, US McGill student. He attended a the candidate’s shoulders. SSMU event last semester where he In fact, the McGill Daily can was told he had to check his coat.

Easter a bit different

Finders’ fees, or the illegal and often excessive bribes Jenny George demanded by students leaving their apartments, are completely unethical. They promote elitism, allowing only those who can afford to pay these exorbitant fees the ‘privilege’ of residing close to school. Students who cannot afford these fees are forced to live farther away, and must spend their money and time commuting. For a campus that bitches and moans about each successive tuition hike, the privatisation of the University and selling out to corporate inter ests, the widespread incidence of finders’ fees initiated by McGill students is utterly hypocritical. If these fees were demanded by landlords, there would indeed be a huge uproar by students who believe their rights are being violated. Why is it that when students have a chance to control a sit uation, rather than the administration or the government, unethical actions become acceptable? The greed of students willing to rip off their peers is reprehensible, and should be viewed as such by the student body. It’s a problem not only because students demand payment, but also because students (or their parents) accept the terms of bribery. They allow the practice to continue either out of panic because of the low vacancy rate, or out of laziness because they are unwilling to search for a different apart ment. O f course, the prisoner’s dilemma exists here; the one sucker who sticks to her moral grounds and refuses to pay extra for an apartment loses it. But if every sucker banded together, and refused to give any payment other than the legal rent, then the practice would disappear. Some capital ists (who call themselves realists) say the practice nevertheless exists, and if you can’t beat 'em, join ‘em. It’s ridiculous to assume that the current state of affairs in any situation is good simply because it exists. So to all you apartment-hunters: don’t give in; and to all you sellers who are pimping your apartments: give yourselves a hearty pat on the back for ripping off your fellow students. the

M cG IL L T R IB U N E

E d it o r -In - C h ief

James Em pringham A ssista n t E d it o r - in - C h ief

Raquel Kirsch P r o d u c t io n M a n a g e r

Stop the Press W ho you callin’ “stupid hippie”? I am writing in response to two letters published in the March 11th issue of the Tribune, “Stupid Hippies” and “Protest movement unrepresented”. I’d first off like to say that in reading both letters, the thought of vomiting came to mind immediately. To both political science stu dents I say, maybe you should stop attending your American Foreign Policy classes and being brain

Sports M a rk Kerr Sarah W rig h t

Features Editors N a ta lie Fletcher Panthea Lee

Photo Editors Jenny G eorge N a th a n Lebioda

Entertainment Editors Ric Lambo Scott M e d v in

O n lin e Editors John Cosset Lynne Hsu

See next page

Aha! Just as I suspected. Those scary totems dont scare the fish! Let’s go teii that stupid chief!

Copy Editor Karen Kelly Layout Editor Tom oko Shida

M ich ae l Liew

makes it enough for me to give up hope that the world will ever be a good and opportune place to live. 1 will call myself a protestor and 1 will contest their opinion thaï we only got truck drivers’ honks. ! did not waste my time striking, on the contrary, I believe that I used mv position as a student, having the ability and freedom to strike with out losing my job, to the best of rm ability. I can guarantee you that not one person at any of the protests oi student strikes around the globe thought that their coming out to .

By Matt Dellinger

is an ed itorially autonom ous new spaper published by the Students' Society o f M c G ill University

N ew s Editors James Grohsgal Kate Rhodes M a rk Sward

washed into thinking that the gap between the military and civilians is a problem, or whatever it is that you learn in those classes, and open your eyes!!! The mere fact that you think that the student protest is “repre hensible” and a waste of time, makes you an “ignorant jackass”. I find it extremely offensive that these men told me to “get a fucking clue”. May I suggest to them that they get a fucking clue and a fucking heart while they’re at it. The thought that young, educated, capable human beings like the two fellows that wrote these letters think like this

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Letters must include author's name, signature, identification (e.g. U2 Biology, SSMU President!, telephone number and be typed double-spaced, letters more than 200 words, pieces for Stop the Press more than 5 w words, or submissions judged by the Editor-in-Chief to be libellous, sexist, racist, homophobic, or solely promotional in nature, wilt not be published. The Tribune wit! make all reasonable efforts to print submissions provided that space is available, and reserves die right to edit letters for length. Letters may be submitted to the Tribune office, faxed lo 398-1750, e-mailed to tribune@ssmu.rncgill.ca or submitted via the Tribune web site. Columns appearing under 'Editorial' heading are decided upon by the editorial board and written by a member of the editorial board. All other opinions are strict ly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of The McGill Tribune, its editors or its staff. Please recycle ibis newspaper. Subscriptions are available for $30.00 per year. A overtisinc O ffice: fbul Slachta, 3600 rue McTavish, Suite 1200, Montréal, Québec H3A 1Y2 Tel: (514) $ 8 -6 8 0 6 Fax: (514) 398-7490

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The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, March 18, 2003

Opinion

Stop th e Presses already! Continued from previous page

protest was going to singlehandedly stop the 80 or so men in America that want to go to war with Iraq, which I’m sure, much to my dismay will occur within the next month. But going to a protest or par ticipating in a student strike is by no means poindess. Perhaps you’re the one that should open a newspa per and look at the millions upon millions of people that participated in protests across the world just a few weeks ago. Expressing your opinion does make a difference in the large scheme of things, and if you think otherwise. I’m very sorry for you because I fear that you are a very sad individual. So you picked the one guy in the crowd that didn’t know what the hell was going on and skipped class because some girl that he thought was hot told him to go to the protest. That doesn’t make all of us ignorant, lemmings or unin formed, as you say. You think me and my fellow war protestors are avid supporters of

Keep stirring As part of my continuing blitzkrieg of the campus press, let me open a new front, and bring my hard-hitting, self-righteous com mentary to the Tribune. I only have a few words in ref erence to letters by Zach Finkelstein and Ken Stretch. First of all I commend Finkelstein’s call to his fellow students to “stand up and be counted,” which is a piece of advice his ideological compatriot Ken Stretch should take to heart. However, Finkelstein seems to make an obviously self-serving error in misreading the slogan “Canada, Irak, Solidarité!” Somehow I doubt that the sentiment (as shared by the majority of the prostestors) behind that statement is directed to Saddam Hussein personally. Rather, I would suggest that the “solidarity” Finkelstein finds so reprehensible is intended to be between Canada and the PEOPLE of Iraq (i.e. those who WILL be killed in the hundreds of thousands in the event of war). The inexplica ble and erroneous linking of the T h e i m p e r ia lis t r e t o r t Thank the Lord that He granted us the greatest rally cry of our rime — “Not in OUR Name.” I’ve got to admit, considering I think the overwhelming majority of people who froze their asses off last week to skip class in the vain hopes of making any difference in this world are total, utter morons, they’ve got a pretty catchy slogan. Thank goodness for those brave protestors. Ixt us thank too the anti-democratic way this “strike” began—with a “vote” from our wonderful student activist friends who decided, by a wonderful quo rum of fewer than two per cent of the student body, to be loud and annoying in the face of tyranny. So, instead of going to war in their name, they went to strike in my name.

Saddam Hussein? Give me a break. Saddam is an evil, evil man, no one can contest that fact. But don’t for get about our good friend George W. Bush, who is side by side with Hussein in the evil category'. Maybe you should take the time to think about the individuals in Iraq that are really going to get demolished. It’s the students, like you and I, that are going to be dead in a few weeks, not the evil dictators. Perhaps you’re forgetting who gave Saddam the go ahead on invading Kuwait in the early 1990s and where he’s gotten all of his money and resources from in the first place. Bush and his posse don’t give a fuck about destroying Saddam, they want to continue their regime of controlling the world via oil. The war is going to happen because the rich white men want to keep driving their SUVs in urban America. But I’m sure 1 don’t have to tell you that, because appar ently you are so much more informed that me, who’s just a “stu pid hippie”. Astrid Mrkich U1 English Literature anti-war protests with the crimes of the Iraqi regime is a fallacy that Stretch indulges in wholesale. Needless to say his comparison of the General Assembly’s decision on Feb. 20 to the autocratic, murder ous decisions of Saddam is beyond ridiculous. However, only slightly less ridiculous is Stretch’s assertion that the General Assembly was not rep resentative. The last time I checked, that assembly was open to all who wished to attend, thus the decisions reached at the meeting accurately reflected the majority opinion of those students not yet so sluggish and reposed in their apathy to actu ally show up and VOICE AN OPINION. If Stretch was actually present at the assembly, then kudos on that score alone (the remainder of his argument is still fallacious and irrelevant), but if not then per haps he should consider his current displeasure with the “WPM” his just desserts. Jesse Sutherland U2 History

Thanks for expressing my undying love for a racist dictator, who has killed, tortured, and liter ally torn from the ground the Iraqi Kurds—not to mention instigated a massive refugee flow and two wars in 12 years. Thanks so much for, in my name, protesting a war which I fully support. I’ll bet Saddams brother-in-law, and 40 of his closest family and friends, who Saddam publicly assassinated for questioning his authority also say thank you—but they’re dead so I’ll say it for them. Oh, and by the way, my grandparents who fled the Nazis in Germany, France, Poland and Czechoslovakia also say thank you, because in the 30s and 40s it was isolationists like you who protested American involvement with another overseas dictator— and ____________________ See next page

Op/Ed 25

Editorial;

T h e d a n g e r s o f th in k in g to o m u c h a n d n o t th in k in g a t all

Why is the anti-war move ment legitimate? Maybe you’ve never asked yourself that question before. Maybe you just accept that peace is always better than war: it’s a black/white, right/wrong, good versus evil moral. Fait accompli. It’s very easy for me to just say, “War is wrong” without really thinking about it. After all, who will disagree with me? No one is likely to retort, “You’re wrong, Wilner. War is right.” That seems absurd. So I can go around preach ing to my heart’s content without an iota of contemplation. Why? Because I’d be catering to popular opinion. The ‘fact! that war is wrong has become almost axiomat ic. The appeal of this widespread belief is its moral simplicity as well as its correspondence with our humanitarian sensibilities. Not only that, but it just feels right, and we like to trust our gut instinct. It’s much easier than (gasp!) actually thinking something through. And after all, everyone else is anti-war! What’s to think about? Millions of people protesting in the streets of world capitals is not a survey of public opinion. It’s opinion. Why cogitate when we can regurgitate? A disclaimer: I do not criticize you thoughtful peaceniks out there. To those of you who don’t merely

swallow the rhetoric and have actu ally pondered the issue, I respect your courage in voicing your beliefs and your commitment to the cause of peace. You have every right to make yourselves heard because you are intellectually responsible. I even believe, for what pittance it’s worth, that you were right to skip class, if that’s what you felt needed to be done. But then there are the rest of you, those of you who wear your peace signs like you’d wear a stylish haircut. It disgusts me that some people are anti-war because “it’s the ‘in’ thing to do,” because you were watching the Grammys and you heard Fred Durst bark that war is bad, or because you saw Sheryl Crow wearing a “War is not the answer” t-shirt. Don’t mindlessly accept Hollywood’s empty liberal ism. Don’t mindlessly accept any thing. If you don’t understand the issue and you’re being a dove is merely a product of your inclina tion to do what’s trendy, you have no right to make yourself heard. As Mr. Finkelstein wrote last week in a letter to the Tribune (“Stupid Hippies” March 11), “Don’t be lemmings.” You revel in the anonymity, and hence irresponsibility, of a crowd. The strength of your herd ing reflex is rivaled only by your empty dogmatism. You are nothing more than “useful idiots.” That’s the sad part of the whole situation: your mere presence, say, in that crowd of 150,000 on that frigid February afternoon, was powerful. And I have another bone to pick, since my ranting is already

good and warmed up. Some of you are (equally mindlessly) antiAmerican. You say, “I hate those loud talking, American capitalist Republican bastards. Bush is a war mongering, bloodthirsty, oilthirsty idiot. He wants to make the world safer by blowing it up. Hypocrite!” Well, to those of you who may feel this way, I say you’re the hypocrite. It’s easy to hurl armchair slurs at the US while sitting comfortably under their military and economic umbrella. It’s even easier to be high and mighty when the world super power does all your dirty work for you. And while a war in Iraq seems inevitable, surely it cannot plausi bly be argued that Bush has rushed into anything. It has been 18 months since the 9/11 terrorist attacks, 14 months since Bush gave his speech naming Saddam Hussein’s Iraq part of an “axis of evil” six months since he took his case to the United Nations and four months since he secured a UN resolution giving Iraq a final chance to give up its weapons of mass destruction, as Marcus Gee of the Globe and M ail noted last week. Don’t get me wrong. This might call for a second disclaimer: I am not a hawk; however, I am also not a dove. To tell you the truth, I don’t know what I am. I don’t trust Saddam Hussein in power, but I am equally mistrustftd of Bush’s right to oust him unilaterally. I pre fer to take refuge in the role of the fence-sitter. I know it’s a cop-out. Just goes to show you. I think too much.

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Opinion

Editorial

P r o t e s t s , p r o l e t a r i a t a n d g a y m a r r ia g e : W h a t h a p p e n e d t o a p a t h y a t M cG ill? •

A n o p e n l e t t e r t o D r. M u n r o e - B lu m Dear Dr. Munroe-Blum, I very much hope you might be interested in hearing employees’ opinions on McGill and their hopes after your appointment. It is my feeling that many of the problems that plague our school at present can be addressed with a will ingness to reduce a level of equivocal arrogance that has masked the incompetence at some levels of our administration. This arrogance has been spreading out from our top administrators into lower level man agerial spheres in this university for the last couple of years and can be correlated with a promoted cult of power or networked influence. It causes deep erosion in a traditional system of values and weakens the main role of universities, which should be the promoting of the highest ethical and educational stan dards. Given the circumstances, you can understand why many of us are worried by the fact that most people working at McGill are not consulted and can only learn from the media about far-reaching plans for their fate. One such possible plan is priva tization, an issue just under the sur face, as you avoid addressing it pub licly—even if asked by the student journalists, some of whom have already complained of not knowing “The Principals Principles”. The Tribune recently informed us about the dean’s resignation from the facul ty of law. He was a known privatiza tion opponent and this is assumed to be the main reason behind his sad decision. Unfortunately, the McGill Reporter, which is paid from our budget to serve staff members, seems to be afraid to inform us of this highprofile resignation. The same fear scares the paper from asking you about your approach toward privati zation, an imperative question. Likewise, the real truth about the quality of education is smardy hidden in the jungle of statistics with tricky calculations cultivated by our

Congratulations to Chris Cotty, a U 2 Computer Science major, who was the first to admit to completing the Tribune crossword Crank, Canaan a n d the C BC (March 4 ).

G a y m a r r ia g e a opportunistic notables from the uni s e n s itiv e issu e versity or governmental spheres. The On a delicate topic such as gay problem is that with the help of the marriage, every word counts. media, they can damage our public Perhaps Mark Sward (“McGill Prof educational sector or, if not watched closely; steal the best pieces of Argues against Gay Marriage,” McGill under the name of privatiza March 5) has misunderstood some tion. This is the temptation of those of ours. First, we don’t argue that there representing the “more equal” mem is “an anthropological necessity to bers of our society who want less competitive access to the most prof preserve marriage as a strictly het itable professions for their progeny erosexual institution.” We argue by establishing enormous tuition that marriage has some universal fees. features, including the fact that all In this environment, even aca societies have fostered the interde demically weak but strongly manip pendence of men and women even ulative professors can survive. It is though they could use culture to do also almost impossible to get a rid of the opposite. In the past, for them when they are tenured. So, instance, any society could have partial privatization is a good solu encouraged gay marriage and still tion: If several such cases are found reproduced itself. (Women could in one faculty or department, the have found ways of procuring privatization should be implemented sperm; men could have abducted there, but never in the case of the children or hired women as surro best-performing educational units in gate mothers.) But no society has most demand. established gay marriage as the Similarly, the lack of clear crite norm. ria for evaluating non-academic staff Meg Roberts, representing the productivity means that less skilled Unitarian Church, argued in managers get promoted in exchange Ottawa that we should embrace for blind loyalty. This partly explains j change. Why? Because things are why the administration pretends not to see a growing number of nervous always changing anyway. But not breakdowns at the University, and a everything does. The universal fea decreasing level of service offered by tures of marriage have never the university staff. Nobody cares changed (although some societies about stealing money from the low have allowed a few gay marriages as est paid workers, because it is a way exceptions). Besides, is change for medium-level managers to show always for the better? Is everything new, as commercials tell us, also loyalty towards the higher admintra“improved”? Ask people who lived tion. At this moment, Dr. MunroeBlum, please accept also the warm through the rise of fascism, to take only the most extreme example. welcome from the non-managerial Moreover, Sward reports our workers to feel free in expressing your views in our presence. A con argument that every child needs “a stant and respectable dialogue parent of either sex.” Actually, we argue that every child needs at least between top ranking administrators one parent of each sex—that is, a and staff is sorely needed. Sincerely, mother and a father, not one or the Slawomir Poplawski (M.M.M. other. We say “at least one”, because Department - staff member) the extended family is probably a better model than the isolated (*) - read about this group in nuclear family (what has come to be one article at www.spop.addr.com and i known, falsely, as the “traditional” in a still unanswered letter to the family). By doing so, moreover, we McGill BoG from the last year } argue against advocates not only of

gay marriage but also of single par ents whether gay or straight. Why? Because we have bodies— male bodies or female ones. We’re not convinced that one (or more) men can give adequate help to girls try ing to become women. Or that one (or more) women can do the same for boys trying to become men. And boys are particularly at risk, because they must switch the focus of their identity from women to men. We’re surprised, to say the least, when people retort that mom’s boyfriends, older children on the “street”, or even popstars can replace parents of the opposite sex as adequate “role models”. The lam entable fact is children are consid ered bystanders in this debate over the conflicting rights of adults. Elsewhere, Sward attributes to us the idea that heterosexual bond ing should be actively promoted by sustaining “traditional cultural norms”. That term conjures up antiquated or oppressive features of marriage. But these are among the variable features of marriage, we suggest, not the universal ones. And these are indeed appropriately changed to suit new circumstances. Hierarchical arrangements, for instance, have been replaced by egalitarian ones. Finally, Sward reports our con viction that “the door may be opened for other types of uncon ventional marriage, such as polyamory, relationships involving more than two people.” For one thing, he meant “polygamy” (many marriages) not “polyamory” (many loves, presumably, or lovers). The latter is a relationship, as he himself says, not a marriage. And we do not oppose “unconventional” relation ships. Moreover, that door would necessarily be opened no matter how few people actually demand the legalization of polygamy. If marriage were a “human right”, after all, then the government would be both morally and legally obliged to include all “unconven-

tional” partners. (But polygamy, unlike gay marriage, is by no means unconventional in many societies.) Our basic claim is that intro ducing gay marriage would be a massive experiment. We should consider the risks very carefully. Yours truly, Katherine K. Young and Paul Nathanson Continued from previous page

“imperialists” like me who begged them to come to the aid of the helpless plagued by the disasters of a failed state. I’d like to give a huge shout out to the fearless leaders of the strike—our wonderful SSMLJ execs (who you might remember from other very useftil and mean ingful protests such as the FTAA strike)—and thanks to their insight and political idealism whose accredited voice will soon speak in all our names. I’d also like to thank very much the SSMU on behalf of the families of soldiers everywhere—because thanks to the students’ strike they won’t be doing the job th q signed up for, and in which out government invests massive capi tal. I’d also like to thank the strike for opening my eyes to article twe of the UN charter (the right tr sovereignty/the right to commit legal genocide) which has, than! goodness, prevented interventior in Iraq to this day. Lastly, I’d like to give my lov ing support to two strikers in par ticular— the one who deafeno me with a megaphone from two feet away, and the one who hit m in the face with a sign that read “Books not Bombs.” I’m not sun what that sign meant— I’m no even sure its English—but thank goodness those protests took such a stance in my name. Elliott Cappell U1 Political Science SSMU Communication Commissioner and SNOW AP Manager 2003

Mr. Matthews’ resignation at reporters and editors after having representative willing to stand up for O f f e n b a c h n o t n e f a r io u s worked for the Tribune for all of six what he believes in. Someone in In the last issue (March 11) Ian tonight’s Council meeting as he no weeks last year suggests something such a position should not be longer holds my confidence. Matthews wrote a Stop the Press Secondly, Matthews’ article was of the leaps of logic Mr. Matthews attacked for speaking his mind as article that was completely inappro will go to discredit Mr. Offenbach. long as he continues to uphold the priate and must be responded to. a completely ad hominem attack responsibilities and integrity of his Mr. Matthews sounds simply bitter. against a member of Council. Mr. Matthews wrote ostensibly to criti Finally, Matthews attacks position, which Mr. Offenbach has Matthews questions the legitimacy cize the journalism practices of the Offenbach for continuing to speak done unfailingly. Unfortunately, I Tribune-, in reality his article was an of Mr. Offenbach’s appointment. He out against a referendum issue after cannot say the same for Mr. unacceptable personal attack on Arts neglects to mention that Mr. it has passed Council. Does Mr. Matthews. Offenbach was appointed in excep Rep. to SSMU Seth Offenbach. I know I continue to respect Matthews believe that since Mr. tional circumstances and that he Matthews’ action was intolera Mr. Offenbach for the difficult posi Offenbach holds a minority opinion ble for several reasons. First, Mr. gained his appointment through the tion he has been put in this year and that he does not have the right to Matthews is the current Speaker of consent of Council after facing a rig express it or that the press does not I have lost any respect I may have orous selection process against sever AUS Council. His position requires have the right to comment on it? had for Mr. Matthews. that he maintain the confidence of al other candidates. The same can Such outrageous personal That sounds undemocratic to me. the Council and as such he should not be said for Mr. Matthews, whose attacks should be looked on with But what should Arts students remain neutral on all issues. The appointment I won’t further discuss. expect from the speaker of an insti derision in normal circumstances. Mr. Matthews accuses Mr. speaker should not comment in any tution that appears to become more That this one came from the way on any issue lest he be seen as Offenbach of using some kind of Speaker of Council makes it that undemocratic every day? compromising his neutrality. In nefarious influence over the Tribune much more intolerable. I would hope that despite writing as he did, Mr. Matthews has to slant the coverage of certain Matthew Fletcher Matthews’ attack, Arts students con issues. Such accusations are outra violated the appearance of neutrality HSA Representative to tinue to trust Mr. Offenbach. I he is meant to uphold. geous. The suggestion that AUS Council would expect students would want a Consequently, I will be calling for Offenbach could influence several

arts&en tertaTn merit The McGill

T r i b u n e , Tuesday,

Mar ch

18, 2 0 0 3

M ard i G ras, N ew O rle a n s , LA, 2 0 0 3 "Could I get some more butter with that lap dance, please?" Andrew Sm art

Those of an older generation always ask me if I heard any good jazz in New Orleans during Mardi Gras. I laugh and reply ‘yes’, lying. After having visited the Big Easy for the second year in a row, I can hon estly say I have never heard a soli tary note of jazz music. Instead, I have heard the same Top-40 hits that I hear in the strip clubs of Montreal, but, alas, I am getting ahead of myself. Carnaval, or Mardi Gras as dubbed by the denizens of New Orleans, is all about excess. The best part of the excessiveness of the experience is that you get to do all those things you can’t get away with anywhere else, and lots of it. Mardi Gras allows me to enjoy a few of my favourite pleasures that are often frowned upon by elders and peers. Those being, in no par ticular order: extremely rich French food, binge drinking, strippers and watching other people find them

selves in potentially humiliating sit uations, specifically watching drunk college girls baring their breasts to mobs of sweaty rednecks with digi tal cameras and watching people get arrested. The cuisine in New Orleans is exquisite. All of the dishes have exotic names: Eggs Hussard, Oysters Thermidor, Bananas Foster. The idea of putting a candlestick full of olive oil on a table in New Orleans is both sacrilegious and dis turbing. At Antoine’s, the oldest French restaurant in New Orleans, established in 1840, hot bread is brought to the table and each diner is presented with his own private psuedo-stick of butter. If the bread gets cold, a new baguette is retrieved and the offensive cold bread quickly shuffled off. It is no surprise when a tuxedo-adorned bus-boy places more butter on top of your already ample supply. Add Oysters Rockefeller, invented at Antoine’s, some alligator soup, a filet mignon smothered in béarnaise

ANDREWSMART Drunken revelers, masks, beads and breasts abound at New Orleans’ annual Mardi Gras celebration.

sauce, washed down with a couple of Manhattans and a bottle of red wine, and you have a pretty typical New Orleans gastronomical experi ence. It seems binge drinking has gotten a raw deal in our society, and Mardi Gras provides hard drinkers

with a support group and a nice venue for their craft. After digesting my meal over a few Dixie Beers and some television in the hotel room, I like to head to the Old Absinthe House—where Snoop Dogg made an appearance with the Girls Gone Wild crew last year—and order up a

F u n a n d E d u c a tio n a l? '''U c h a n o ^ ' Did you see it? Were you there? Or were you suffocating in the library under a mountain of term papers? You should have taken a breather and checked out Tuesday Night Café Theatre’s EduFest. Now in its second year, EduFest just keeps getting better and better. EduFest is a week-long extrava ganza honouring performance at its finest. Celebrating all things theatri cal, this year’s schedule included a workshop, improv, two 10-minute plays, two singer/songwriters and, the pinnacle of the fest, the 24-hour playwriting competition. The week began with an excit ing neutral mask workshop led by James Wilson (co-director of The Immortal) and Professor Myrna Wyatt Selkirk. The workshop explored the basics of the neutral, expressionless white mask. Participants took part in a number of exercises, from rediscovering an everyday object to saying farewell to a loved one on a faraway boat, as a roomful of spectators looked on in awe. The mask is used in actor training and teaches the actor how to be on stage rather than act by removing their dependence on facial expressions. As you watch, fixated on the body of the actor and how they express themselves, you begin

. . . i t can only be one thing: EduFest 2003! to imagine the mask taking on emo tion, but then realize it cannot, it is immutable. This fascinating look into the neutral state was a wonder ful start to the week. Never have I

five to 20 minutes.) The first of these, Adam Pettle’s Therac 25, directed by Elise Newman, opened Tuesday. This often-funny drama tells the story of two cancer patients,

HELENAHASSELMANN Leora Morris and André Martin in Durang’s

been so enthralled watching some one rediscover a sweater for the first time. The week continued with two 10-minute plays. These seem to be all the rage amongst the theatre-kids after last semester’s successful 10minute play festival. (Don’t be fooled, though—a 10-minute play can actually range anywhere from

T h e F u n e r a l P a r lo u r

Alan and Moira, played brilliantly by Max Woertendyke and Shelley Liebembuk, who find love in a can cer ward waiting-room. We follow their budding friendship through its funny moments and through its hardest-from chitchatting about masturbation to going through chemotherapy. The play was a great success for

first-time director Newman, who created a touching and cohesive piece. Both Woertendyke and Liebembuk shone onstage. They possessed just enough hope and bit terness, respectively, to draw the audience in. In playing these roles, which are difficult for any actor who has never experienced the pain and frustration of dealing with cancer, they never once mocked or trivial ized their characters. Their sense of the drama and comedy did not go unnoticed. The following night featured another opening, this time of Christopher Durang’s 10-minute play The Funeral Parlor, directed by Sasha Kardish. The play tells the story of Susan, a grieving widower at her husband’s funeral, and Marcus, a mourner. The only catch is that Marcus is one of those weird people who try to talk to you on the bus or metro and won’t leave you alone. So why is he at the funeral? Because Susan’s husband was the only person who ever answered him. Though not one of Durang’s funnier plays,- Kardish’s hard work is obvious. Leora Morris (Susan) and André Martin (Marcus) have won derful timing on-stage. Martin’s kooky Marcus is a blast, but perhaps not as. creepy as he could be, while Morris’ Susan is perfectly proper... until she lets loose. I would like to have seen an even more unre-

Hurricane, which I believe is a kind of mélange of bourbon, vodka, rum and grenadine that tastes roughly like fruit punch. Served in a plastic cup, as drinking in the streets of New Orleans is encouraged, I like to refill often, preferably sipping See FUN, page 31

strained Susan: one who really lets Marcus take her for a ride, as he demands that she keen in order to properly mourn her husband. As well, the use of the peripheries of the stage left me craning to see all the action and the ever-important facial expressions. Overall, a decent turn of events, but not as funny as Durang can be. Not to be forgotten on the comedy spectrum are The Improvers from McGill Improv. I spent an entire hour entertained by their improv games; from “Shoulda said...” to “A day in the life of [insert your name here]”. The guys were great and funny. A little bit of polishing on their improv skills and their act would be superb. If only the audience had loosened up a bit—they seemed not to realize that part of the joy of theatre is that, you, as an audience member, can shape the show just by your reaction. The final days were a culmina tion of hard work, blood, sweat and tears as Danielle Hoffman and Evan Placey squared off in the 24-hour playwriting competition. In the challenge, they were given 24 hours to write a 20-45 minute play and another 24 to rehearse and put it on. Just to make things interesting, they were given the first and last lines of their play. Professor Miranda Hickman graciously pro vided the opening and closing lines for this year’s showdown. And, as the contestants showed, just about anything can happen in a play that ends with: “If you just do that, and try to forget about the birds, you’ll See EDUFEST, page 31

2 8 A&E

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, March 18, 2003

They're pumping on your memories D .C . DJ d u o 's Supergrass almost get upstaged by opening act, The Coral... but only almost Chris Whibbs

In the world of British music, Supergrass are up there with Oasis, Suede and Blur as one of the insti tutions of ‘Britpop’, which, despite what some people write, actually ended in 1996. Yes, Supergrass burst onto the music scene in 1995 with the boundless energy and poppy songs that populated their debut, I Should Coco, and quickly built a loyal fan base with such songs as “Caught by the Fuzz” and “Mansize Rooster”. Judging by the decidedly older crowd at their sold-out show at Café Campus last Saturday night, it seems those people are still pining for the Supergrass of yore. I don’t want to say it, but it seems Supergrass is almost edging into nostalgia, shown by the explosive audience reaction to such staples as “Strange Ones”, and the aforemen tioned “Caught by the Fuzz”. Don’t get me wrong, I was one of those people who also bopped prodi giously to “Richard III”, but I was actually more excited to see the opening band of the night, The Coral. Anyone worth their salt who follows British music knows of The Coral, since they are currently being hailed as the leaders of a Merseyside psychedelic revival. Their self-titled debut album, which entered the British charts at No. 5, seems beyond description as it throws in influences as disparate as The Zombies, The Animals and Smashing Pumpkins. O f course, they’re better known for their psy chedelic songs like “Simon Diamond” and “Goodbye”, and the band is also quite young, with the oldest member around 21 and the

O f course, this is where nostal gia came into play. Newer songs, from recent album Life on Other Planets, like the opener “Za”, while competently played, didn’t really connect, while the older tunes, like the ones mentioned above, sparkled with the energy of 1995. Some new album highlights were “La Song” and “Never Done Nothing Like That Before”, but really it was the older songs that connected both with me and—as exemplified by cheers and applause—the audience. The sedist itself showed signs that Supergrass are almost edging towards “greatest hits” status as a band, since it was heavily inclined towards older material, with at least four songs from the first album, three from the second, and three from the third. Rarely does a band pilfer their back catalogue so liber ally when promoting a new album. Supergrass edges themselves over the vibrant, fame-hungry Coral, with their strong renditions of their old songs. This reviewer couldn’t help but be transported back to high school as “Mansize Rooster” was being thrown at us with awe some power, and back to rez when “Moving” was lovingly sung. It was the emotional power and memory of the older songs that gave Supergrass its power to me and the audience, not the new songs DK0NLINE.C0.UK And even though The Coral are currently the more artistic and orig I said The Coral, not the coral reef. inal of the two bands, you can’t help seemed to be throwing some origi but wonder if the songs they’re cur nality and energy into the ring that rently peddling will connect with so raised many a goosebump. When many people on the level that they exited to thunderous applause, Supergrass have achieved. They I could only wonder to see if may not be young or green, or even Supergrass could come close to keep their teeth nice and clean, but duplicating the experience. They Supergrass still has the goods to put on a great show. did... barely.

youngest about 18. With three guitars, a bassist, a keyboardist and drummer, they have the goods to create a large sound and, boy, do they deliver. From the head-banging chaos in such songs as “Skeleton Key” and “Follow the Sun”, to sweet, sweet harmonies and sounds in “Goodbye” and “God Knows”, The Coral, it seems, impressed everyone in the room. Even with an extended jam on “Goodbye”, The Coral

l iv e m i x CD s te a ls th e s h o w Scott Sameroff

A little after midnight on Friday night, Rob Garza and Eric Hilton, two well-dressed and clean shaven men in their 30s, took the stage at S.A.T. The duo known as Thievery Corporation were begin ning their rare and exclusive DJ set at the packed club. “We’re just bringing a lot of records that have been very influen tial to us that we’ve been listening to over the years,” Garza said, giv ing a preview of the evening’s per formance. “It’s just a way of sharing with our audience things that have been really inspirational to us.” The crowd was comprised of people from all different walks of life, and this diversity was no sur prise considering the multiplicity of Thievery Corps repertoire. Obscure funk, bossanova, dub, lounge, hip hop, Latin and Brazilian music were just a few of the genres seamlessly interwoven together on the duo’s latest record, The Richest Man in Babylon and in their unbelievable live sets. Hailing from Washington,

which is a relatively small town compared to most cities like New York and everybody there is only interested in politics, so we’re pret ty grounded,” says Garza. “We don’t have our own club night each week where we DJ to 4,000 people or something, we’re not an industry in D.C.,” added Hilton. “We like to walk around with some anonymity.” The interview seemed more like a friendly chat than a formal event, and was filled with small talk about the current state of affairs in the United States, Canada’s liberal polices towards marijuana use and the ever-increasing importance of the club as a social mechanism. The conversation also focused heavily on the The Richest Man in Babylon, which is the musical equivalent of Jules Verne’s Around the World in 80 Days. This disc manages to touch on almost every genre of music, incorporating many diverse styles and instruments together into luscious soundscapes that are full of originality, yet laden with traditional elements of each type of music sampled. Highlights

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D.C., Garza and Hilton began working together in the mid-90s when the duo was introduced through mutual friends. Their efforts culminated in 1998 with the now classic electronic LP Sounds from the Thievery Hi-Fi. Since then, they have released numerous albums and remixes and performed shows around the world, while con stantly updating their style. With such worldwide notoriety, I was very surprised at how down-toearth these two musicians were when I got the privilege to inter view them before Friday’s show. “We live in Washington, D.C.,

on the LP include the salsaflavoured “Exilo” and the dubentrenched “Outernationalist”. Artists from around the world pro vide vocals, and the tracks come together in a chilled-out mix of music that is constantly changing directions, keeping the listener involved. Another major part of this LP is the 48 pages of beautiful black and white photography included within the liner notes. The photographs, which were taken by Daniel Cima, depict the harsh reality that many of the world’s people face on a daily basis, including riot squads, backbreaking See THIEVES, page 29

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, March 18, 2003

O nce Upon a TV w ith a tw ist — reality Julie Peters

Everybody is watching reality TV these days. It seems that every week a new one comes out of the woodwork. Like The Bachelorette or the frightening new Married By America, these shows are mindless and about as unreal and fantastic as you can get. But if these shows are so popular, why don’t shows that are actually about reality get the same ratings? Despite this, non-trashy shows about gritty real life do exist, such as the documentary presented by CBC Televisions Rough Cuts, made almost entirely by McGill gradutates. David Finch, the co-director of this hour-long documentary, graduated from McGill in 1995, while Marike Emery, co-writer and co-producer, graduated in 1991. Entitled Once Upon A Journey, the documentary is about a grade 10 class in the Montreal suburb of St. Leonard, at Lauren McDonald High School. The student population is almost entirely Italian. In the fdm, Marike Emery’s father, Winston Emery, who is a McGill professor in the Education faculty, helps two of the school’s teachers to guide their students through a very special project. By choosing pictures from their families’ pasts and writing sto ries about them, the teens complete a professional book called Once Upon a Journey and eventually come to terms with their Italian roots. Once Upon A Journey gets right inside the homes of some of the students and watches them discover that maybe they have a little more in common with their parents and grandparents than they thought. Starting out with comments like, “They didn’t have blowdryers back then. If I lived back then, I would die. My hair!” the teens eventually come to understand their parents’ backgrounds and what certain tra ditions in their families mean. The

Thieves rush in Continued from page 28

work and disillusioned children. “There were a lot of discus sions going on in the studio about what was going on in the world, how people were getting exploited and how [the world] works against people and how people have to struggle,” explained Hilton. “That sense of empathy came over the stu dio; more so than usual, it was real ly something that was on our minds.” As soon as the needle touched down on the vinyl, the crowd exploded in groove, arms flailing every which way in the air. Everyone in the crowd was dancing, swinging their dates - around with drunken finesse to the skillfully selected tracks. Dirty, wild funk melted seamlessly into harmonicadriven salsa before dropping down to dub, leaving the audience asking

film documents not only a few families in a particular part of the world, but also the troubles of a new generation of youths who are losing their past, and the spirit of Canada as a place of ethnic diversi

ty-

This documentary has Canada written all over it. It is a country of diversity, and immigrants are more than encouraged to keep their tra ditions alive. From the documen tary, we see that these Italian fami lies have no intention of losing their roots. Some of the grandpar ents never learned English or French, and, in one boy’s basement, a family is shown making wine. “I love this, I love watching these old Italian men,” the boy laughs enthu siastically. However; the importance of tradition is clearly lost on some of the children. Another teenage boy says to his mother, “I am English, and then French, and then Italian, in order of importance.” When you look at this kind of attitude, it is clear why projects like the one the Lauren McDonald kids are doing are so important. Frank Tiseo, an Italian who immigrated to Canada when he was seven, is one of the two teach ers behind the genesis of this proj ect. Leon Lewellyn is the other, and, while he is not Italian, like most of his kids, he knows what it is to be an immigrant, having moved .from Grenada at age 10. These teachers wanted to show their kids how important it is to know where they come from and what their roots mean. The kids found out stuff about their families that they never knew, and found that maybe they even had something in common with them. One girl is explaining a story her grandmother told her about how she used to like to peel figs, throw the peels on the street and watch people slip on them. Laughing at her grandmother’s sur prisingly carefree attitude in her themselves, “Where the hell did they find these beats?” The best part of the night was the fun and carefree vibe that circu lated throughout the club. Joints were ablaze as people talked, danced and jived together into the wee hours of the morning. This great mood was reflective of the duo’s attitude towards bars and clubs, which Hilton described as “the only place where people get together... They are really like the last bastion, we don’t have a town square where people stroll and talk to one another, it’s just bars and clubs, so they’re very important.” This performance was one of the finest and most diverse collec tions of music that I’ve everjbeard. It would definitely make it onto one of your favourite mix tapes, providing thought-provoking music that can at the same time propel the party way into the morn ing.

A&E 29

R Jou ealityG illia n W e a r i n g 's f a c ia l f e a t u r e s

youth, her friend asks, “You figure you and your grandmother have something in common,” and she replies, “Yeah, maybe. Maybe.” However, for some families, it becomes important to break from certain traditions. One mother says that, because of her lack of oppor tunities in her childhood, she thinks it is important to let her children live their dreams. She is happy to pay for a dialect coach and acting lessons for her aspiring actress daughter. She wants her to take advantage of all the things she didn’t have when she was younger. Another concerned mother explains how strict and terrible her own parents were. She said the only reason she left the house was for school. She never dated, never partied, never learned to make her own mistakes and feels she lacks direc tion and wisdom about the world. She wants her kids to be more able to do what they want, and even “spoil them a little bit.” You can see by the attitude of her son that, unfortunately, she may have spoiled him a little too much. She says breaking from her parents’ pattern has left her unsure of how to parent her children, especially in an era of such turmoil for young people. “We’re lost at this generation... I’m lost,” she laments. Once Upon a Journey opens the door to the intimate world of a few Italian-Canadian families who are learning how to deal with their kids. In real-life families, with reallife teenagers, issues such as anorex ia, dating and family pride all have to be grappled with. In a country where one’s nationality is minority, it is also a struggle to keep a tradi tion alive, especially in a family dominated by the so-called ‘me’ generation. Once Upon A Journey is tough, gritty real life with teenagers in Canada, not fantasy lives in Thailand or wherever Survivor is going next. It’s reality TV with a twist—it’s actually about real life.

The Red Herring presents...

“A N ight o f Enchantm ent” fundraiser for The Red Herring. Featuring original sketch comedy written by The Red Herring and some McGill Improv friends, with musical performances by The All Day Breakfast Crooners and Parka 3. March 25 at Gert’s, $5, doors open at 7:00 pm. Tickets will be pre-sold in the lobby/cafeteria of the Shatner Building on March 19. And don’t forget to pick up the next issue of The Red Herring, on the stands April 1. Visit The Red Herring online at: http://www. redherring, hm

Lauren Consky

Gillian Wearing is a social spectator who digs into the idio syncrasies of humans with her art work. Her current exhibit, Mass Observation, at the Musée d’art contemporain was inspired by a group of British sociologists in the 1960s who observed the British masses in a time when one studied exotic people. Her art is accessible yet poignant. She is an artist who goes into the social field and works with everyday people to create documentary-style conceptual art. “A great deal of my work is about questioning handed-down truths,” Wearing has said. “I'm always try ing to find ways of discovering new things about people, and in the process discover more about myself.” Wearing questions how much

observe, on three giant screens, the street drunks of East London. Wearing invited the vagrants into her studio,'and asked them to act as they normally would. Juxtaposed in front of a white background, the viewer is required to focus solely on the peculiar behaviours of the men and women, without the distractions of the usual street bustle. Her art is well-recognized in Britain, where she won the Turner Prize in 1997 for “60 Minute Silence”, a life-size video of three rows of police officers posing for a picture and forced to stand still for an hour. The piece is an endurance test, where the men and women fidget like little children. The chefd ’ouvre comes near the end, when the most rigid policeman lets out a scream of frustration Wearing allows everyday peo ple to participate in the political

we can determine about someone’s and cultural commentary with her personality by looking at a person’s work, “Signs that say what you face and facial expressions. She want them to say and not signs makes a point to show that the that someone else wants you to face does indeed determine one’s say, 1992-93”. She randomly pho personality. In “Self-Portrait tographed people on the streets of 2000”, Wearing takes a photo of London who had written the first herself wearing a mask. It is things that came to mind, such as intended to be deliberately mis a business-attired man holding a leading because one cannot estab sign that reads, “I’m desperate”. lish ■what she wishes to express. Another quite humourous one was The use of the masks is not a new “Thought about being a gigolo phenomenon; the photo is an allu but I’m worried about the health sion to Oscar Wilde’s The Truth o f risks”. Her idea was later adopted Masks, whereby he explains that for a Volkswagen advertising cam the mask conceals, yet allows for paign. In “10-16 (1997)”, a mother more. In fact, one may be more truthful through the use of a dis and her two impertinent boys’ voices are switched. Wearing guise. the psychological Wearing exploits this idea in explores “Trauma”, where she allows people exchange between the mother and to choose a mask and confess on the boys. The effect is one that is and psychologically video. Through the concealment creepy of people’s identities (with only the charged. Wearing’s subjects have their eyes showing), her subjects talk roots in the everyday and the real about things that they normally world, and have experiences which wouldn’t-. It is unnerving to see tragic and depressing stories told are often left out of art. She claims through dispassionate masks. At that her work is: “Not in any way the same time, however, the mask an argument against the idea of is liberating in a sense, because it high art, Minimalism or anything allows the people to say what they like that, it's not set up against want, and not what others want that, or rebelling against it. When I began taking photographs L them to say. The artist forces the viewer to thought they might work better in look at everyday people and events magazines, in a journalistic sense, through a new lens. For example, rather than as art.” This frankness in her 1997-99 work, “Drunk”, and accessibility allows her art to she compels her viewers to appeal to a mass observation.

30 A&E

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, March 18, 2003

M.A.I. Theatre a diverse attraction Look for meaning and find only D a n n y C hodos_________________

The work of Jordi Ventura Fabra is a mish-mash, to say the least. This choreographtr/filmmak er/visual artist came to Montreal with credentials from the Institut de Théâtre in Barcelona and P.AR.T.S. in Brussels. Last week end, he hooked up with Projet Recherche What What I What to produce Strange Places, a “perform ance that questions performance itself”. Venturas play, if nothing else, turns the cranks in the creative side of the brain. Presented from several emotional and visual perspectives, this synthesis of hip hop and break dance, numerous musical styles, simple lighting techniques and spo radic interludes of video projection is at times hard to follow. Time and again, the audience member takes

S tr a n g e

in one element at the expense of another. Ventura incorporates a variety of unorthodox and often interactive props, including rubber bands, poles with lights attached to them and, at the end of the per formance, mechanical, musical fish. Strange Places’ multiple angles are apparent as soon as the audience settles in. As two of the performers invite patrons to inscribe messages on their arms and legs, soft electronica beats accompany a video feed of slow-motion dancing by another cast member in the dress ing room. Subsequently, incoherent babbling is mixed with ambiguous directions from within the video screen for the dancers, who are now performing ballet. This theme continues throughout most of the show. Strange Places is a journey through a sea of emotions, presented through

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Ventura’s unique style of genre combination. At one point early on, one woman’s depression is cap tured in song: “I can’t get started, I can’t get up, got lots of coffee, but I can’t make a cup...” Mass confu sion follows: as snow appears on screen, the actors are unable to understand what the others are say ing and the dance becomes awry and disjointed Later on, a Mission Impossible house remix blares as the embla zoned poles twist and turn, casting circular patterns of light all around the black stage. All of a sudden, abstract designs of multiple paint combinations illuminate the video screen; it freezes into a tableau of superimposed, multicoloured vig nettes over a white backdrop. As we approach the denouement, the interactivity is rehashed: the crowd is asked to close their eyes, and then to cover their ears, then is asked if they are wearing clean underwear... “Great, let’s move into the next sec tion.” The question on everyone’s mind is addressed at the finale of the play: “If you’re looking for meaning, you won’t find it here,” they plainly tell us. This is the end of the first night of the first dance performance in a series at the Montreal Arts Interculturelles, aptly named “définition non appli cable”. This particular experiment in urban arts is exactly that: nearly impossible to define. Plot is not a central concern of Strange Places. Rather, as Ventura describes the central theme, it “is a work of improvisation, not only in the creation process, but also in per formance. This is because I believe that the body through improvisa tion has more spontaneity and free dom to express itself... [we move] forward without knowing what will happen, when it will happen and thus constandy surprise ourselves.” As a break from the mainstream of live theatre, a little unexpected intrigue is a refreshing change. Ventura attempts to provide a response, through his interpretive ensembles, to important metaphys ical phenomenon, that can only be addressed through improvised stage techniques. The M.A.I. Theatre is pleased to continue its “mois définition non applicable” with three more shows. Future dance performances, which promise further unique challenges of modern dance techniques, include Metabolism, a break dance routine by the Rubberbandance at à Tangente, (840 rue Cherrier), between March 20 and 23, and the works of Solid State in a show dubbed Etchasketch. Also, look out for plays produced by the Black Theatre Workshop at the M.A.I.’s intimate theatre on 3680 Jeanne Mance, right near the McGill Ghetto.

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Don't cry for me Argentina... I mean, Nigeria D a n y H o ro v itz__________________

Tears o f the Sun is a perfect example of a not-so-good movie that is very well made. It tells the story of Lieutenant A.K. Waters (Bruce Willis) and his team of Navy SEALs, who are sent into Nigeria after the democratic gov ernment collapses to rescue Dr. Lena Kendricks, an American by marriage who is tending to victims of the ongoing civil war in a remote village.

Tears o f the Sun (R) Directed by Antoine Fuqua. Starring Bruce Willis, Monica B ellu cci, C ole Hauser, Fionnula Flanagan and Johnny Messner.

★ ★ 1/2 out of ★ ★ ★ ★ Kendricks refuses to leave the village unless Waters and his crew promise to rescue the villagers as well. The SEALs agree, with the intention of leaving the villagers behind once the rescue helicopters arrive, but after seeing the carnage that the Nigerian military has caused, Waters decides instead to defy his orders and help bring the villagers to political asylum at a nearby border. This is the kind of movie that

guys with surprisingly big hearts, and he does what he can with a weak script. The extras castingdirector cast six dozen US immi grants from Africa, many of whom actually survived violence in their home countries, and they give very strong performances. While this movie succeeds aestically, it suffers structurally. To begin with, the Navy SEALs are regarded as the best-trained sol diers in the American military and so it’s highly unlikely that any SEAL would just go against an order given from a commanding officer. For the sake of plot, though, I suppose one could over look that aspect. But there are other problems with this movie as well. For one thing, it’s very predictable. Once Waters commits himself and his crew to helping the villagers, they all become prey to the Nigerian military. Why they are being fob lowed, I will not say because I do not wish to ruin it. I will, however admit that the ending is pretty much exactly as you tbink it will be. The military jargon proves that the writers have done their homework, but the rest of the dia logue is pretty shoddy, giving in quite frequendy to bad one-liners and overused catch-phrases and

FRANKMASI The US Army raining down destruction. Does art imitate life?

most people would write off as a mindless action picture with no redeeming qualities. Really, it’s not a bad movie; in fact, from a techni cal point of view, there are many qualities about this movie that are to be admired. Director Antoine Fuqua, whose last picture was the fantastic Training Day, does much to bring out the atmosphere of the jungle setting. There are many great shots of animals and scenery. As the party arrives at a village that is currently being sacked by the military, it begins to rain, and there is a very clever shot of the rain trickling down a leaf, giving the impression it is crying for the village. During the night scenes, much of the screen is dark, with just enough of the characters sil houetted by moonlight to make them visible. This visually puts the audience members in the shoes of the villagers, who aren’t trained like the SEALs, and don’t know where they are going. The acting isn’t bad either. Willis is good at playing tough

clichés. Perhaps the movie’s biggest drawback is the budding romance between Waters and the doctor. There aren’t any make-out scenes, but there is a bit of romantic ten sion between the two. As any movie buff will tell you, nothing kills a war movie like romance. It’s only acceptable when the movie is about the romance, in which case it’s no longer really a war movie at all, but a drama with a war setting. Think The English Patient. The bottom line is that there was probably nothing anyone could do to this film— short of changing the story—which would have made it better. This movie is surprisingly good considering the material with which the filmmak ers had to work with. In the hands of another director, this movie could have been a total piece of garbage, but with Fuqua behind the camera, it was a very well-craft ed piece of garbage. However, it is wise to remember that a well-made movie doesn’t necessarily make a good one.

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday, March 18, 2003

Simian We Are Your Friends Source/Virgin -

Hootie & the Blowfish Hootie & the Blowfish Atlantic Records Anyone who remembers what the music scene was like way back in 1994 will remember that one of the biggest acts around was Hootie & the Blowfish. With singles like “Let Her Cry” and “Every Time I Look at You (I Go Blind)”, the band ended up having the second best-selling debut album of all time. Since then, it seems as though Hootie & the Blowfish have van ished off the face of the Earth. Their latest, self-titled, album is a good indication as to why that is. There really aren’t any remark able tracks on this album at all. In fact, the only song worth listening to is the “hidden” song, which occurs around the six-minute mark on track 12. The rest of them have basically

E d u fe s t Continued from page 27

be right as rain in no time. Now how about a nice bowl of soup before you go? How about some clam chowder?” Overall, this year’s EduFest was a success, a cornucopia of theatrical events sure to have tickled your funny bone and your aural sense, and we can only hope that this pop ular event will become a permanent feature at McGill.

the same sound, both instrumentally and vocally; and unfortunately, that sound is nothing like that of their signature song, “Hold My Hand” or any of their other inaugural num bers. The magic that the band had on their first album seems to have vanished. Or maybe it only looks that way because so much has changed in the music industry throughout the last decade. It’s almost as if this album is a reminder to the public that the band is still around making music. But if they aren’t going to grow as musicians, there is really no point in re-recording the same style of music with different lyrics. It’s probable that hardcore fans of Hootie & the Blowfish will dis agree on that point, but even they, I think, will be disappointed by the quality of music, especially consider ing that this band once looked like they had endless success ahead of them. — Dany Horovitz

S IM IA N « V

Continued from page 27

TNC is currently seeking applicants for next year’s Executive—espe cially those of you who are financially and/or technically minded students. You don’t need experience, just a love of theatre, a willingness to learn, and the commitment theatre always requires. Have passion, we’ll train. Applications are due March 21. TNC is also currently accepting play pro posals for next year’s season, applications are due March 28. Players’ Theatre is also accepting Executive applications and play pro posals for the upcoming academic year, both due March 24. Executive position descriptions and application requirements can be picked up on the Drama Board in the hallway of the lobby of the Arts Building. F or a n y a d d itio n a l in fo r m a tio n c o n ta c t T N C T h e a tr e at 3 9 8 - 6 6 0 0 a n d P layers’ T h e a tr e at 3 9 8 - 6 8 1 3 o r

players@ssmu.mcgill.ca.

that night, I came across a crowd of upstanding revelers enjoying watch tucked into the waist band of the ing a couple of dominatrix-type thong of the almost-naked young ladies whip each other in the middle lady dancing at the given time. In of the street. Believe it or not, sever the men’s room they have one of al men were lined up for their turn, those attendants out of another era passing dollar bills forward, when and from the sink you can grab a one of the girls stepped completely stick of gum and spray on some out of her black leather one-piece cheap cologne before you return to into the arms of a cowboy hat-wear your seat for a lap dance. I had my ing, marijuana leaf beaded undercov first singing lap dance at Rick’s to er police officer who promptly put Marvin Gaye’s “Lets Get it On”, an her into a shiny pair of governmentexperience that may dilute all further issue handcuffs. Finally, I had the encounters of the sort. This little further pleasure of watching a police songbird sang the sweet soul officer approach a reveler who had melodies between flashing her gold just finished pissing on the sidewalk tooth and reminding me not to let and forced him to wipe up his mess her fall, as she had just polished off a with the jacket on his back, truly an Long Island Iced Tea in one lady-like example of American law enforce ment at its best. gulp. There is always a tinge of sad Visiting New Orleans during Mardi Gras is akin to sitting down ness when leaving New Orleans, and watching any given daytime especially when encountering a exploitation show or Cops. Literally group of girls sipping Bud Light’s in minutes after my arrival I had the the hotel lobby at 10:30 in the pleasure of watching a guy physical-' morning on the way out. The bitter ly assault a moving vehicle. He went sweet cab ride to the airport is so far as to remove his shoe—now in marked by unbearable nausea and plain sight of several approaching the promising realization that a police officers—and attempt to return visit will be required to hear inflict pain on the automobile with a some of that famous New Orleans flying docksider. He was promptly jazz. escorted away in handcuffs. Later

Fun times in the Crescent City down enough to spit red for 24 hours. Once the drinks get flowing, it’s time to visit, as my friend calls it, “the shit”. This is Bourbon Street, and its side streets, fully-packed ,elbow to elbow, with drunk Americans covered in beads, scream ing, and sipping out of containers with names like yard and handgrenade or the traditional 64-ounce plastic bottle of Miller Lite. I can feel my inner-redneck surging from within as I push through crowds, slurring “y’alls” and “ain’ts” to passers-by and stopping to admire an occasional mullet. Sometimes you can get your fair share of skin on the street, up on the balcony of Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club, or what have you. However, for the first time visi tor to New Orleans, I recommend a visit to Rick’s Cabaret. Rick’s on Bourbon Street is an emporium of stripping with multiple stages, a sectioned-off V.I.P. room and a staggeringly excellent ratio of dancers to observers. You’re lucky if you can get a table near the stage so dollar bills can be neady folded and

Although I hate to be the one to drag out the old “Never judge a book by its cover” cliché, I think this CD warrants it. The CD art is god-awful, probably making this one of the ugliest CDs in my col lection. But I digress... Simian is a four-piece band out of England that specializes in a Beta Band-ish folk/pop with distinct out-of-left-field’ electronics. Yes, you’ll get lovely vocals, the light strumming of an acoustic guitar and Atari ‘bleeps’ and ‘bloops’ with this visibly eccentric band. On their first album, Chemistry Is What We Are, the sounds were more low-key, going for more of an atmospheric mood, but, as gleaned from the Free to be You and Me title, things are rather happy this time around. The first two song tides alone, “La Breeze” and “Sunshine”, set the tone. Harmonies and California pop stylings jump out and grab you. Things get a little weird (lyrics wise) on “Skin”, yet the happy, joy ous tone never seems to leave. Unfortunately, things become a little bland around the time of “Big Black Gun”. While the afore mentioned, along with “In Between” and “The Swarm”, are essentially good songs, they are not

memorable. Luckily, the last two songs are the best on the album, with “She’s In Mind” starting off like the rest of the tracks, yet ending in gorgeous electronic swathes, har monies and a lilting, dreamy feel ing. Finally, “End of the Day” fin ishes it all off with all the accou trements that one is now—by this point— used to. It’s a tighter song than the rest on the album, harken ing back to 80s synth as if sung by the Beach Boys’ Brian Wilson. We Are Your Friends is not the most eas ily accessible album, but if one is willing to go on their little “happy” journey then the rewards could be admirable. Besides, as the title indi cates, they mean you no harm. — Chris Whibbs

The Donnas Let's Spend the Night Atlantic Records With an in-your-face attitude, loud guitar rifts and classic chick rock’ lyrics, the Donnas released their first major label recording, Let’s Spend the Night, with Atlantic Records in late October. Fans of the Donnas will enjoy this new album, as the band’s playing has improved

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greatly from their previous efforts. The sound quality is far superior, making the music much cleaner and giving the guitar sounds a stronger edge. But, like most new up-and-coming punk rock bands, the songs basically all sound the same. Formed in 1992 when the mem bers were in eighth grade in Palo Alto, California, this band evolved from its punk roots and has now taken on a garage rock style with the familiar chick rock sound. No, the girls aren’t all named Donna, but to all of those who aren’t hardcore fans, we know them as Donna A. on vocals, Donna C. on drums, Donna F. on bass and Donna R. on guitar. The lyrics talk mostly about boys and parties, with various allu sions to drugs. The first single to be released from the album is the hit “Take It Off”. This song, opening with a catchy guitar riff and strong pulsing drums, is the best example of the band’s new style. In an online poll by MTV.com, the video for this song was voted among the top ten new videos of 2002, which included other new acts like the Strokes and Justin Timberlake. Keeping their one-hitwonder ball rolling, on January 18 the Donnas appeared on Saturday Night Live and dazzled the crowd with' a couple of songs from this album. If you’re looking for a new chick rock band to dig, this is the one. The music is good, the attitude is there and the beat keeps you banging your head for 40 minutes. — Greg McKenna

B u rn th e h o u s e Former funny-man Steve Martin's latest flick crashes S p e n c e r Ross

In the latest instalment of “black and white” movies stressing ethnic stereotypes, Steve Martin’s Bringing Down the House is another lame attempt at using humour to bridge racial gaps. Steve Martin plays Peter Sanderson, a high-pro file lawyer in Los Angeles who falls in love with a recently released con vict, Charlene Morton (Queen Latifah). Though the movie was humor ous at times, the projector broke down four times during the press screening, one time burning straight through the acetate before people were advised to go to the French screening the following night. Perhaps a sign that the movie isn’t meant to be seen, House's pre dictability leaves little to the imagi nation and one can easily guess at the ending. The movie starts off with Peter and Charlene’s voice-overs of a chat they are carrying out online, Peter as “LegalEagle” and Charlene as “LawyerGirl.” Their first encounter in person, however, proves disas trous, when Sanderson finds out that “LawyerGirl” is not the skinny blond she claimed she was, but rather a black convict. When he tries to throw her out of his house, she finds a way to come back by tak ing advantage of the white middleclass conservative neighbourhood he lives in. An example of this is when

Peter leaves for work and comes home with his children (he is a divorcé) to find that Charlene has thrown a massive house party with all her “dawgs”. It doesn’t take much to guess what happens next. It turns out that the reason Charlene is sticking around is to solicit Peter’s legal advice to clear her name for a crime she didn’t commit. Along the way, we are met with “black meets white” comedy in a Steve Martin fashion, which plays on racial stereotypes the entire time. Oddly enough, Queen Latifah seems to have a difficult time play ing a stereotypical black woman well enough to interact seamlessly with Steve Martin. Along with the humour and “conflict” between the çwo charac ters, throw in the best friend Howie Rosenthal (Eugene Levy, of American Pie fame), the ex-wife and the ultra-conservative client, Mrs. Arness (Joan Plowright) and the movie heads for predictable disaster. Around the time the film literally melted onto the projector, Peter and Charlene were seemingly about to get together for a night of drunken romance. As an effort to bridge racial gaps, this movie may be one of the smarter comedies in recent months to do so, with a jazzy score by Lalo Schifrin (who wrote the Mission Impossible theme), but in the end, the movie’s predictability left noth ing to be desired. Perhaps the pro jector incident was only a sign of things to come.

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FO R

T H E

A C A D E M I C

Y E A R

A r e y o u i n t e r e s t e d in g e t t i n g i n v o l v e d w ith a c tiv itie s o n c a m p u s n e x t y e a r ? T h e S t u d e n t s ' S o c i e t y o f M c G ill U n iv e r s it y i s c u r r e n t l y lo o k in g f o r e n t h u s ia s t ic a n d d e d i c a t e d p e o p l e t o fill t h e f o l l o w i n g p o s i t i o n s f o r t h e 2 0 0 3 - 2 0 0 4 a c a d e m i c y e a r : Treasu rer * S p ea ke rs of Council ( 2 ) Judicial Board Justices ( 5 ) (n eed to be 3rd or 4th year Law S tu d en ts) S tu d en t Equity C om issioner * C h ie f R etu rn ing O ffic e r * D eputy R etu rn ing O ffic e r * E lections C oord inators * A c tivitie s N ight C oordinators Blood Drive C oordinaors M ini-C ourse C oordinators * POST C oo rd inator * Club E xecutive C o n feren ce C oordinator Recording S ecretary * Executive A ssistan t * S ad ies M an ag ers * ( 2 ) A ssistan t G erts M a n ag er * G erts Bar S ta ff * Front Desk S ta ff * C u ltu reF est C oordinators

A cadem ic R esearch C om m isioner * C om m u nicatio ns C om m issioner * Faculty R elatio n s C om m issioner Francophone C om m issioner G h etto R esiden ts A ssociation D irector S a fe ty C om m issioner W eb m as ter * H andbook C oord inators * McGill Tribune E d itor-in-C h ief * (M arch 1 4 ) S tu d e n ts ’ S ociety P rogram m ing N etw ork (SSPN) M em bers Open Air Pub C oordinators Snow-AP C oordinators W elcom e W eek C oordinator Frosh C oord inators (4 )* S tu d en t In volvem ent C oordinators * (2) V o lu n teerism C oordinators Terry Fox Run C oordinator Environm ent C om m issioner * Some financial compensation is

M e m b e r s a t la r g e n e e d e d

awarded

f o r th e F o llo w in g C o m m itte e s :

S e n a t e C o m m it te e s P r e s id e n t A f f a ir s C o m m itte e B y -L a w s R e v ie w C o m m itte e C o m m itte e on E n v iro n m e n t M edia A dviso ry B o ard F in a n c ia l A ffa irs C o m m itte e F in a n a c ia l E t h ic s R e s e a r c h C o m m itte e

U n iv e rsity A ffa ir s C o m m itte e S tu d e n t Equity W orkgroup C o m m u n ity and G o v e rn m e n t A ffa irs C lu b s and S e r v i c e s C o m m itte e M cGill G h e tto R e s id e n t s A s s o c ia t io n C o m m u n ic a t io n s and E v e n ts C o m m itte e G e r t ’s Prom otion C o m m itte e

The deadline to apply for the any of the above positions is 5:00pm on Friday, March 2 8 ,2 0 0 3 . Applications including a resume and cover letter

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must be submitted to the SSMU Front Desk, Suite 1200 of the William and Mary Brown Student Services Buidling, or by email to Naeem Datoo at: getinvolVed@ssmu.mcgill.ca. For more info on any of the above positions, please go to www.ssmu.ca.