The McGill Tribune Vol. 8 Issue 24

What’s On WHAT’S ON IS COURTESY OF THE INTER-GROUP LIAISON NOTICES:

TUESDAY, APRIL 4TH Northern Studies Film Series: presents A Learn/Alaska production on the Inupiaq in the North Slope Borough.

D epartm ent of Epidemiology and Biostatistics: presents Duncan Thomas, Ph.D., University of Southern California, Los Angeles, speaking on “Selection of Variables in Regression: A Bayesian Ap­ proach”. Purvis Hall, 1020 Pine Ave., W., Room 25, 1:00 p.m.

Symposium: Development and Peace Activities at McGill: 1) Guest Speaker: Dr. Eugene Donefer, McGill International.

Union 107/108, 2:00 p.m. 2) Discussion: McGill Students and C.I.D.A.’s “Youth Initiative Program". Union 107/108, 3:30 p.m.

Project Ploughshares: (McGill’s Peace Group) General Meeting, Newman Centre, 3484 Peel. New meeting time: 6:00 p.m.

Students’ Society Council Meeting: Last Meeting of the Year! Union 107/108,7:00 p.m.

Amnesty International: Letter writing meeting, Union 425/426, 7 :00 p.m.

McGill Folk Society: Every Tuesday at 8:00 p.m. ‘til late. Yellow Door, 3625 Aylmer. New members welcome. All types of Folk Music.

People o f Ulkiaquik,

Term Paper Special: The Physical Sci­ ences and Engineering Library is offering special rates on computerized literature searches to undergraduates. The offer is re­ stricted to a select number of databases, such as the Applied Science and Technol­ ogy Index or the General Science Index which cover about 300 North American, easily available journals. For more infor­ mation, come to the Reference desk at PSEL and ask for Albert or call 398-4767.

QPIRG/GQRIP. Recycling bins are in the Union, Education, and Burnside build­ ings. Come help recycling at McGill grow!

Walk-Safe Network: This program be­ gun during Sexual Assault Awareness Week is ran by and for students and is de­ signed to provide an alternative to walking home alone at night. Info.: 398-6823.

Volunteer to visit isolated elderly living near McGill. The Yellow Door Elderly Project. Info: Mike or Chris 398-6243.

McGill Nightline: If you have a problem and you don’t know who to turn to, give McGill Nightline a call. 398-6246,6 p.m.3 a.m. every night.

S tu d en ts’ Society H andbook Submissions: Brief (200 word) descrip­ tions of your club/interest group activities, purpose, and goals for the coming year.

Include location, contact people, and phone numbers) if applicable. Deadline April 30th. Submissions to: Jeanne Iribame/ Karen Valihora, Co-editors, Students’ So­ ciety Handbook, The McGill Daily, 3480 McTavish, Rm. B-03, Montreal, Quebec, H3A 1X9. (514)398-6784/5.

White Water Rafting with the McGill Outing Club: April 28th. Sign up until April 7th. $45 members; $47 non-mem­ bers. Info.: 398-6817; Union 411.

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 5TH Nicaraguan Coffee and other “Bridgehead-Oxfam” products. Yellow Door, 3625 Aylmer,1:00-5:00 p.m. Inexpensive and socially just. Sponsored by SCM. McGill Film Society: M. Germany 1931 (99 min.). Dir.: F. Lang.

FDA Auditorium, 8:00 p.m. FREE. THURSDAY, APRIL ffTH Etude de la Bible Francophone: lecture

page 2

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday April 4,1989

et discussions sur un passage choisi. Union 425, de 12h30 à lh30. Apportez votre “lunch”. Etudiant(e)s et personnel de McGill seulement. Organisé par le McGill Christian Fellowship.

D epartm ent of Epidemiology and Biostatistics: presents Monsieur Yvon Brunei, Direction de l’évaluation, Min­ istère de la Santé et des Services sociaux du Québec, speaking in French on “Des HMO aux Osis”. Purvis Hall, 1020 Pine Ave., W., Room 25, 1:00 p.m.

Liberal McGill: Executive Elections.

Members are urged to come out to select the new President and V.P.’s Internal, External, and Finance. Union B09/10.4:30 p.m.

McGill W riters’ Guild: Meeting every Thursday. Student readings, followed by discussion and writing exercise. Arts 350, 6:00 p.m. Information: 284-4421.

McGill Film Society: The Living D ay­ lights. USA 1987 (130 min.).

Dir.: J. Glen. FDA Auditorium, 8:00 p.m.

FRIDAY, APRIL 7TH Victoria Park News or The Miraculous Box of Colours? : a presentation of a selec­ tion of watercolours, oils, and drawings by visiting artist Fraser Maclver. Senior Common Room, Faculty of Religious Studies, 3520 University St.. AllWelcome.

Centre for Developing Area StudiesFellows Seminar Series: presents Amy Kaler, M.A., Comparative Education, speaking on “The World Bank’s Educa­ tional Philosophy into the 1990’s”. 3715 Peel, Rm. 100, 12:00 noon.

Centre for Developing Area StudiesPcrspectives on the Middle East Series: presents John Calvert, Institute of Islamic Studies, McGill University, speaking on “The Islamic Movement in Egypt: An As­ sessment”. 3715 Peel, Rm. 100,2:00 p.m.

D.O. Hcbb Lecture Series: presents

Michael Lamb, Laboratory of Compara­ tive Ethology, National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, speak­ ing on “Changing Roles of the Father”.

Stewart Biological Sciences Building, Room Sl/4, 2:00-3:00 p.m. Info.: 3986105.

Conference: Prospects for Peace and Development in Angola and Namibia in light of the peace protocol between Angola and South Africa and the inde­ pendence of Namibia. Speakers: Anne Mitchell, Executive Director, International Defense and Aid Fund for Southern Africa (IDAFSA) Canada; Archbishop Ted Scott, Commonwealth Eminent Persons’ Group, President IDAFSA Canada; Lucia Hamutenya, SWAPO; Daniel Dos Santos, member of the MPLA, Angola and Uni­ versity of Ottawa (to be confirmed).

MacDonald-Harrington Building, Room G-10, McGill University, 7:30 p.m. Open to the Public; Free. Info.: IDAFSA Québec - 271-1133, CIDMAA - 499-0314, CDAS - 398-3507. Organized by The Interna­ tional Defense and Aid Fund for Southern Africa (IDAFSA) Québec Branch, the Centre d’information et Documentation sur le Mozambique et l’Afrique Australe (CIDMA A), McGill Southern Africa Com­ mittee, and the McGill Centre for Devel­ oping Area Studies.

India-Canada Student’s Association: presents the last in a series of 6 colour video tapes of discussions with J. Krishnamurti. Leacock 111, 8:00 p.m. Info.: 932-6362:481-0547.

McGill Film Society: Bad. USA 1976 (100 min.). Dir.: Andy Warhol.

Leacock 132, 8:00 p.m.

McGill Programming Network: presents Kali & Dub, Inc. and Jah Cutta & Determination in the Union Ballroom; Me, Mom, and Morgentaler in Gertrude’s Pub; and Comedy Nest Stand-Up & First City Improv Players in The Alley. 8:00

p.m. Tickets: $2.00 McGill Students with I.D.; $4.00General Public. Info.: 398-6778.

SATURDAY, APRIL 8TH Conference: The current situation in Southern Africa and proposals for ac­ tion in Canada. Speakers: Chengiah Ragaven, IDAFSA, Québec Branch; Irgun, COSATU, 12:30 p.m. Workshops: “Repression inside South Africa”. Dan O’Meara, CIDMAA; “Sanctions and Fi­ nancial Pressures". Pierre Beaudet, CIDMAA; “The current situation inside Namibia and Angola”. Lucia Hamutenya, SWAPO, and Daniel Dos Santos, Univer­ sity of Ottawa. 1:30 p.m. Plenary: Shell Boycott Campaign. 4:00 p.m. College Brébeuf, 3200 Cote Ste. Catherine. Open to the Public; Free. Info.: IDAFSA Québec -271-1133, CIDMAA - 499-0314, CDAS - 398-3507. Organized by The Interna­ tional Defense and Aid Fund for Southern Africa (IDAFSA) Québec Branch, the Centre d’information et Documentation sur le Mozambique et l’Afrique Australe (CIDMAA), McGill Southern Africa Com­ mittee, and the McGill Centre for Devel­ oping Area Studies.

McGill Film Society: Casablanca. USA 1943 (102 min.). Dir.: M. Curtis.

Leacock 132, 8:00 p.m.

ADVANCE NOTICES: Alzheimer Society of Montreal-Seminar for Professionals: “Abuse in Alzheimers Disease”. April 14th. Informa­ tion: 931-4211. $50 Professionals; $25 Students.

Centre for Developing Area StudiesFellows Seminar Series: presents lhab Hashim, Geography, “Public Health Im­ pacts of Development : A Reappraisal of Irrigation Systems in the Sudan”. 3715 Peel, Rm. 100, 12:00 noon. April 14th.

News Kissinger: the man, the legend, the apologist The McGill Tribune, Tuesday April4,1989

B Y C H R IS A L E X A N D E R A N D PAU L M IC H E LL

Henry Kissinger, How I'm missin’ y a - Monty Python’s Flying Circus Montréal is nota city well known for opening its arms to Republi­ cans. The American folk heroes of this city are slick interventionist Democrats and patrician Confed­ eracy leaders. But Republicans?

Can you imagine Rue PrésidentNixon?

But somehow, there has always been a sort of mystique surround­ ing Henry Kissinger, National Security Advisor under Nixon and Secretary of S tate under Nixon and Ford. Montréal stopped missing Henry Kissinger at precisely 20h27 last Tuesday at Place des Arts. At a speech, reception and press con­ ference organized by the Jeune Chambre de Commerce de Mon­ tréal, the balding high priest of U.S. Republican foreign policy drawled out his pronouncements in a thundering baritone on the very now topic of “Globalisation des marchés mondiaux avec adap­ tation du libre échange Canada et Etats-Unis.”

The crowd was a well-heeled troop of junior executives, techno­ crats and bilingual Alex P. Keaton types, piecisely what one might expect at an event that cost $95 a ticket. They didn’t seem to notice that Kissinger all but ignored the ostensible theme of his speech why he thinks that free trade is the best damn thing ever to happen to our two countries and is indicative of the trend towards globalization of trade- butinstead, spent the entire speech spouting off his proposals for new directions for U.S. na­ tional security policy, restating simple facts and ideas as if he had just invented them, and trying to justify a structure of conflict in geopolitics.

After gliding out onto the stage to a round of rousing applause, Dr. Kissinger proceeded to tell the assembled multitudes that “No­ body... believes that communism is an effective mechanism for guid­ ing societies.” How shocking. You can imagine how the Armani suit crew took to this kind of talk.

Kissinger, a man with a well-carved reputation for megalomania, con­

tinued this insightful analysis of the obvious for another thirty-eight minutes to an adoring crowd.

Kissinger emphasized that the global power structure is drifting away from the intense East-West polarization that has existed since the end of the Second World War into a more flexible multi-polar system with several power bases.

In the future, “America must find a new definition of its role” in a power structure encompassing India, China, Japan, theUSSR, and perhaps a united Europe. He was concerned that the U S SR ’srefusal to play an adversarial rôle in super­ power politics might lead to the lack of an antagonistic focus for U.S. foreign policy in the not-toodistant future: “ If communism is no longer a force as an ideology, is there an American foreign policy left?” What does this have to say about American foreign policy?

He wasn’t saying.

Although President Gorbachev has little to do with the CanadaU .S. Free Trade Agreement (or so it seems to this reporter), he was definitely a focus of Dr. Kissin­ ger’s speech. Kissinger’s belief is that the Soviet political structure, by ensuring that “no Soviet leader has survived his own death - ex­ cept Lenin-” leads Soviet politi­ cians to drive for personal power to the exclusion of their national interests. Seemingly, no Soviet leaders can leave any positive leg­ acy, and because they “can’t start a consulting firm or join a law of­ fice,” careerism ensues. Accord­ ing to Kissinger, Gorbachev is a “deus ex machina”, and his chances for survival are not promising.

Kissinger neglected to point out that his own inept consulting firm nets him hundreds of thousands of dollars every year - the ultimate careerist indeed.

The Soviet Union, for Kissin­ ger, is a nation where “productiv­ ity is appalling”, “nobody knows the price of anything” , and it can survive only by external expan­ sion. In fact, “The Soviet Union is not a normal nation. The Soviet Union is a conglomerate of nation­ alities” which is likely to collapse into its component parts. Eager young Montréal executives and junior fascists are not generally thought of as great friends of Marxism-Leninism, and they

didn’t seem too distraught at the prediction that the Soviets would go to the dogs in geostrategic terms.

Dr. Kissinger did mention the Free Trade Agreement, but only

linkage’ between Canada and the U.S., but he admitted that the F T A could at some future date come to embrace a political dimension.

When queried about this, Kissin­

is a way for North America to show an economic common front.

Any jointpolitical initiatives would be solely on an ad hoc basis.” The chance of Canada being subsumed by tue States within that “common front” was not mentioned by Hank, who never worries a paying audi­ ence with the real world.

The Tribune would have liked to talk with Dr. Kissinger about the bombing of Cambodia, his “shuttle diplomacy” during the Yom Kippur War, the Vietnam Peace nego­ tiations, S A L T I, the Nixon resig­ nation, Dr. Kissinger’s leadership of the Bipartisan Committee on Central America, and his over­ priced consulting/apologist firm for private industries, which exploits his government connections in a lovely display of unethical conflict of interest, but Dr. Kissinger cut the press conference short in order to run off and spend a little of the $20,000 U.S. which he made for the evening.

©©nu*» fleetingly. When asked at the press conference about the deal, he was non-committal. He had distanced himself in his speech from those who see a ‘natural destiny towards

ger claimed that if he had said this (which he had), he now retracted it: “Any political union between Canada and the United States would be a big mistake. The F T A

Big Trib Party Friday, at Paul's (not Paul's) c o m e by the office for details.

SEXUAL HARASSMENT ASSESSORS D ue to the recent appointm ent of Ms. Lin d a C h riste n se n to the position of D irector of H um an R e s o u rse s , a replacem ent h as been nam ed to s u c c e e d her a s o n e of the four Assessors to hear complaints of sexual harassment, nam ely:

Ms. Joan Beneteau Faculty of Education 398-6746 You are o n ce ag ain rem inded of the n am e s and telep ho ne num bers of the other three a sse sso rs:

Professor Patricia Wells Physical & Occupational Therapy 398-4508 Professor Morton Weinfeld Department of Sociology 398-6846

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Professor Katrine Stewart Department of Plant Science MacDonald College | 398-7865

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White Water Rafting on the Rouge River!

•90 m inutes from Montréal •one-to-one personal service •4-6 hrs on the river •lig h t lunch & BBO steak supper

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Op/Ed/Letters The Disneyland Tapes

W IT H P A U L H O R W IT Z Dear Erin, Hey! It’s been a long time since I’ve heard from you, old buddy.

That oddly scheduled 'Study Break’ halted the free flow of epis­ tolary magic from your word proc­ essor, and I got to thinking about how close we’ve grown since we became penpals. It’s hard to be­ lieve that our relationship has pro­ gressed so quickly from the early days of February, when you took the Third Reich-ish nickname of “Stormtrooper” and called me a “ frustrated game show host wan­ nabe”, to our more intimate pres­ ent - your saying that I’m as narcis­ sistic as you are, or that time you regaled us with stories of your ex­ treme Oedipal fixation. I’m sure that when you read Andrew Preston’s comment in the ASUS P illa r calling me right-wing (a horribly mistaken criticism), you were thinking whatl was thinking: “ Hey, that’s my job!” Anyways, what I’m trying to say is, Erin, I missed your subtle wit and your delightfully atavistic misogyny.

But enough sadness, let’s think about the present. Did you, too, force yourself to sit through an­ other evening o f Oscar madness?

From the momenll saw Rob Lowe and Snow White singing about klieg lights to the tune, played by a full orchestra, of "Proud Mary”, I knew I was in for a magic evening.

That feeling was confirmed by the truly nausea-inspired reference of Don Johnson and Melanie G rif­ fith to each other as “ best friends”, and the obligatory nomination of M eryl Streep for an acting award, even though her movie was atro­ cious. It was all too much, Erin the glamour, the sequins, the wooden reading of T e leprompTeredjokes...itwasenough to give me chills, I tell ya.

But surely you'd agree with me, old buddy, that the biggest news in the past couple of weeks from the land of pop icons has been the release of a new album by M a ­ donna, called Like A Prayer. It's kind of funny to note that critics everywhere are starting to fall all over themselves pointing out how serious she’s become, just as her navel finally gets its own record cover and her videos show her sucking face with /cua-Christian martyr/saints. I know it’ll be years before the literary critics get a crack at her, but when they do they’ll find a treasure trove of poetry. Who can forget the wit and wisdom of "Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone”? Sheer theological genius. O r the way she dedicates the album to her mother, “who taught me to pray”? Okay, so it’s not that hard to kneel and put your hands together, but remember, she was used to involving her hands in ; but remember, she was used to involving her hands in much dif­ ferent activities.

If you’re not busy writing exams or .gee, I don’ t know, maybe let­ ters, on April 18,1 suggest you go see Edie Brickell and New bohe­ mians at the Spectrum. Regard­ less of what I may have implied about her poetry in the past, Erin, she kicks ass, and her band are supposedly really terrific in con­ cert. The fine dudes at Donald K Donald are producing this show, which promises to be an incredible evening.

Well, Erin, that’s all for now, to my great chagrin (and yours, no doubt). Be sure and stop by to get my summer address before you leave; ifthere’sonethinglcouldn’t bear, it would be the idea of not receiving your totally incoherent slanderduring the summer. Be sure and write, sweetie.

Love,

P.S: Feeling bitter? Why not make a futile attempt to overturn a wellrun election?

Next year: More of the same, so tough! Plus: Life after Fam ily Ties - will it mean another Justine Bateman movie?

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday April 4,1989

They’re here...

They say endings are sufficient justification for sentimentality. Consequently, they would say this writer should be saddened this day as, after 2-1/2 years, 57 issues and 78 articles, he is finished with the M cGill Tribune. But wait- who are they to dictate my emotions? And who are they, anyway?

They have an awfully strong tendency to tell us what to do with our lives. However, we have an equally strong tendency to utilise their presumed wisdom when living our daily lives. “They say it’s going to snow today,” so we wear our boots. Granted, they seem to know more than we do, but they have been wrong in the past.

Consider the major dilemma with which our society is faced regarding them. Though we often take their word as gospel, (witness ‘They say Western has a good Journalism programme” and “They say that Cancun is warm at this time of year”), we are constantly complaining about their mistakes and inadequacies (“They’re going to raise my rent next year” and “They lost my luggage and sent it to New Brunswick”).

Another disturbing inconsistency: these people are never the same people. From one day to the next, they are the government, the media, nobody in particular, or some faceless bureaucracy. But there must be some of us who have infiltrated into their ranks. Is anyone here them?

Perhaps this phenomenon is symptomatic of our conformist tendencies. If they say so, they must be right. Then again, it could be another example of a pervasive insecurity. We are so unsure of ourselves, we prefer to rely on somebody else for advice.

Whatever the cause, this unsentimental writer maintains his independence. They say independence is healthy, you know.

M ike Crawley

Trib “embarrassing”: Daily editor To the Tribune: Since when did kneejerk at­ tacks and dead end speculation constitute front page news? Your March 7 article “D aily and flats square off again” is a perfect ex­ ample of how to turn a non-issue into an embarrassing foray into media bashing.

Fraternities getting pissed off at criticism is not news.

What is disturbing is that Trib­ une staff made no effort to famil­ iarize themselves with the facts before tackling this non-issue.

It is true that SSM U election regulations stipulate that SSM U funded publications remain neu­ tral during the polling period. But the Tribune failed to mention that the D aily is an autonomous stu­ dent organization, and, as such, is clearly not bound by regulations governing SS M U publications.

The Daily Publications Soci­ ety Constitution, a document passed by student referendum in 1981, guarantees the editorial au­ tonomy of the newspaper. It is, in fact, the D aily’s constitutional mandate to critically evaluate the role played by student organiza­ tions and student leaders on cam­ pus— a mandate which would be severely compromised were stu­ dent politicians to be given author­ ity over staff’s editorial direction.

Allegations have been made that the terms of the lease agree­ ment between the DPS and the Students’ Society make the D aily indirectly responsible to SSM U. Let it be clear that the D aily is responsible to the student body alone, not to student politicians.

Any suggestion that the lease agreement between the DPS and the Students’ Society grants SSM U control over staff s editorial policy shows a blatant ignorance of the facts. It is a conn-actual agreement which both recognizes and rein­ forces the D aily's autonomy.

To clear up a few more mis­ conceptions— die extent of any agreement entered into between fraternities and the D aily was to consider printing a statement which fraternity members would write up and bring down. As a democrati­ cally run student newpaper, the D aily welcomes submissions from all members of the DPS, including members of the greck system. In addition, I never met with John Davidson following the IFC ’s sudden ‘emergency’ meeting, as stated in the Tribune article.

Davidson’s pompous asser­ tion in the Tribune that fraternities are “no longer going to stand for any kind of just general frat-bashing” is symptomatic of the siege mentality which prompted the IFC ’s ‘emergency’ meeting. It is

also characteristic of the endemic elitism of the greek system which makes its members believe they merit greater influence on campus than other students.

Perhaps most embarrassing for the Tribune is their last ditch at­ tempt to get sources to say they were misquoted in my article “Understanding frat psychology”.

As Steve Wright points out “the quotes are accurate”.

The “ allegations levelled against” me seem to boil down to embarking on some criticism of fraternities that members really didn’t want to deal with. Their defensive rallying only proves this criticism was long overdue.

Fraternity members getting “annoyed” and having their “ire raised” by opinions expressed in the D aily is not news. That the Tribune chose to cover their de­ fensive seizures in a front page article which, by the way, is also the longest article in the issue, says a great deal about the j udgement of theTribune’s editorial staff.

Jennifer August Co-ordinating Editor M cG ill Daily

ed. note: The article refers to "the D aily’s independentfunding" in its discussion o f the election media guidelines.

Western USC says don’t blame them for Rushton T o The Editor The University Students’ Coun­ cil (USC) is the governing student body of the University of Western Ontario as such, it is our responsi­ bility to represent the opinions and concerns of U W O students. One such concern at present is Philippe Rushton.

Students at the U W O are un­ happy with the image Western now holds as a result of the Rushton affair. The University Administra­

page 4

tion seems to have lost sight of the idea of academic responsibility in their concern for academic free­ dom. Academic freedom is of cru­ cial importance to any scholarly atmosphere, yet there are also at­ tendant responsibilities. While the U S C supports the rights of profes­ sors and students to pursue their academic interest, it also encour­ ages them to accept responsibility for the ramifications of their re­ search. Rushton has not yet been

called to account for his actions.

The U S C sees this as a failing on the part of the administration. It is unfortunate that the actions of one individual has been allowed to tarnish the reputation of over 2 2 ,0 0 0 .

The purpose of this letter is to make clear the position of the USC. the U SC does not, in any way, support or endorse the theories of Philippe Rushton. The U S C has called for an investigation into

Philippe Rushton’s scholarly ac­ tivities; it would like to see the administration encourage and support such an investigation.

Finally, the U S C would like to make clear that we are deeply dis­ turbed with the current perception of the UW O. Students at Western are extremely concerned with the implications of academic racism.

Yet the allegations of racism do not describe the body as a whole.

We at Western hold our heads high

and are proud of our academic tradition. While we are dissatis­ fied with the Administration’s handling of the Rushton affair, we are not dissatisfied with the insti­ tution of Western.

A . MacDonald Academic Affairs Commis­ sioner Kimble Sutherland V.P. External

Op/Ed/Letters

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday April4,1989

Reader’s Digest “work of art” lost amid “snotty shlock” To the Tribune: As a man who’s been writing professionally for nine years, Itake issue with some of the puerile, ju­ venile, snotty shlock being spewed out by some of the publications at M cGill.

Having had humourous anec­ dotes o f mine published by Reader's Digest, I believe I have the right tojudge what’s funny and what’s puerile, juvenile, snotty shlock.

A s outlets for humour and satire pieces are very scarce, I agreed to

contribute a satire piece to the Red Herring. I read the first issue last semester and found it very enter­ taining. However, the current is­ sue, with my piece, “ If Dostoevsky Were a Hockey Player” is an en­ tirely different, foul-smelling kettle of fish. I was not informed that I was participating in a puerile, ju­ venile, snotty political attack on various M cGill bureaucrats or that I would receive no by-line for my work. Furthermore, the humour was, with few exceptions, taste­ less, boring, and sophomoric. M y

piece, correctly titled “If Dos­ toevsky Had Been A Hockey Player” is a work of art. The rest of the publication is, for the most part, schoolboy badinage. Nothing is easier and takes less talent than cracking a one-liner at the expense of an absent individual or group.

And nothing in the world of writ­ ing is less praiseworthy.

That your reporter took it upon himself to praise the puerile badi­ nage while panning my piece - the product of an extensive knowledge of Dostoevsky’s novels, many

years of humour writing, and many hours of hard work - is irrespon­ sible and reprehensible. Your re­ porter belongs back in high school making obnoxious noises to gain attention. M y work is high quality satire that belongs in the New

Yorker.

Sincerely yours,

Jim Chanin B.A. ’70

friday night at Bert's H ouse A ll invited

ALCOHOL ALCOHOL A LC O ­ HOL ALCOHOL ALCOHOL ALCOHOLALCOHOL ALCO-

O f T A s, S S M U & P G S S To the Tribune: We would like to address one of the assumptions behind the Post Graduate Students’ Society (PGSS) mail ballot on the ending of graduate membership in SSM U. In order to have effective stu­ dent organizations which represent the interests of their members, there must be a minimum of common interests amongst their members.

SSM U pretends to represent both undergraduates’ and graduates’ interests at M cGill. This does not

work!

For example, many graduates are also ‘Teaching Assistants” who are actively involved in the teach­ ing of undergrads. SSM U has hardly raised the issue (let alone acted upon it!) of the type and quality of education provided by a system using teaching assistantships. For some undergraduates, there might be a strong argument in favour of pressing M cG ill to increase the number of professors in order to reduce the undergrad/

professor ratio, which would in­ crease the quality of undergrad education. On the other hand, “Graduates as Teaching Assis­ tants” appreciate TAships as an opportunity to gain teaching expe­ rience and to obtain funding for graduate study. SSM U has never taken up the defence and the con­ cerns of “Graduates as Teaching Assistants.”

One can easily see that SSMU has to consider the presence of graduates and undergrads in its

PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY

organization. Therefore, SSM U cannot structurally and seriously address, and act!, on this specific issue. Organizations, like SSM U, in which members have basic di­ vergent interests are doomed to permanent ineffectiveness.

Therefore, it is in the interest of both graduates and undergrads to have separate and truly effective societies.

Ruth Abbey Internal Liaison Officer, MGAPS

Don't miss your chance to see us for the last time Mr. Berry: your letter was misogynistic and blatantly offensive. We did not print it for these reasons.

Military research safeguard “falls short” To the Tribune We read with interest Colin Scott’s article on the United States A ir Force grant recently awarded to M cGill. While it is hard to say whether this grant will pull M cGill further into the vortex of the arms race, Scott’s article harked back to M cG ill’s infamous research into fuel air explosives, which was con­ siderably less ambiguous.

Unfortunately, Scott may have given readers the impression that all is rosy now that the M cG ill Senate requires all incoming mili­ tary contracts to be accompanied by a form signed by the researcher stating any socially harmful poten­ tial consequences. This require­ ment did mark one significant advance for the cause of respon­ sible research at M cGill - it estab­ lished that the question of social responsibility is one which the University should properly con­ sider and is not just a matter be­ tween the researcher and his/her conscience - but it falls short of being the safeguard necessary to prevent weapons research. This “consequences” form is not to be

KfStaurant

seen by the public; consequently neither an appeal process nor input into the decision of whether or not to allow a contract is possible. We must depend on the good faith of the researcher and the Dean of Research - the former to report honestly and accurately the poten­ tial results of his/her research, and the latter to evaluate this objec­ tively and disinterestedly.

M cGill, however, has a tradition of not relying on faith alone. To back up our general belief that, for example, the equal and fair treat­ ment of men and women is a Good Thing, the University has recently agreed to submit to a study of pay equity. Similar democratic poli­ cies, procedures and institutions are needed to ensure that M cG ill does not participate in any work the purpose of which is the crea­ tion or enhancement of any means of mass destruction.

This policy apparatus will not be an easy thing to create. Anyone who has watched the going-on at the University of Michigan knows what semantic contortions academ­ ics can work themselves into while

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defining slippery concepts such as “purpose” , “enhancement” , and “ mass destruction” . Nevertheless, we must begin work on the process of ensuring that the practice of M cG ill researchers reflects the desire of most members of the M cG ill community not to build Saturday night specials for the Western world.

Another contract for research into fuel air explosives is set to expire in September 1989. Before we decide whether this contract or any of its ilk should be renewed, we must seriously reconsider the ethical and political implications of our research, and in order to do so, we must make the decision­ making process more democratic.

Amy Kaler MA 2 Shaun Maxwell Arts U2 Guy Thompson MA 2 Sarah Thomas Arts U2 Deborah Warner Arts U2

ARE YOU RECOGNIZED BY THE SSMU? DO YOU WANT FUNDING? Budget requests for the upcoming fiscal year will be received from March 27th until 4:30p.m., April 7th, 1989 B udget requests are lim ited to g rou ps directly re co g n ize d by the M cG ill Students' So ciety (i.e., org an ization s cla ssifie d a s "Fun ction al G roups", c a m ­ pus-w ide "Interest G rou ps" or "S o cie ty Activities").

A s per S S M U C o u n cil Policy, certain interest g ro u p s are not eligible to receive Students' So ciety funds. T h e se include groups with political or religious affiliations or beliefs.

A pp lication for Budget p a ck a g e s m ay be obtained at the S tu de nts' So ciety G e n e ra l Office. R eq u e sts, with justifications, should be typed and a d d re sse d to the Jo in t M an agem ent Com m ittee (JM C ). T hey should be d elivered o r m ailed to: L e slie C o p e lan d , O p eratio n s Secretary, Students' S o cie ty G e n e ra l Office, R oom 105, 3480 M cT a v ish Street, M ontreal, Q u e b e c H 3 A 1 X 9 NO LATER

THAN 4.30 P.M., FRIDAY, APRIL 7TH, 1989. }$1

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Kasey Fukada Vice President (Finance) Students' Society of McGill University page 5

News Complaints mar Students’ Society elections

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday April 4,1989

BY PAUL HORWITZ_______

Board. On March 28, the Judicial Board upheld the C R O ’s ruling.

The board reportedly asked Kodar why, if she had known about pos­ sible election illegalities during the polling period, she had not imme­ diately reported them to Wedge.

Speaking to the Tribune, Ms. Wedge said, “I was available to all candidates during the campaign to answer any inquiries. Ifshe [Kodar] had any idea that other candidates weren’t doing as they should, I would assume she would have come to me...and it would have been clarified then. Instead, she went straight to Legal Aid and asked them about the illegalities of the election, instead of asking for clarification about the spirit of the election.”

V.P.-Finance-Elect Viens also responded to the complaint: “I was not surprised that [Kodar] made complaints. But I was sure that I didn’t cheat, and that I was within my limits, so I wasn’t that wor­ ried.”

The second group of complaints were filed by Kodar, failed Board of Governors representative can­ didate Chris Tromp, Post Gradu­ ate Students’ Society (PGSS) Presi­

In the wake of the elections and referenda run by the Students’ Society of M cG ill University (SSMU), five people have regis­ tered two separate sets of com­ plaints alleging problems with election procedure and spending.

Freya Kodar, who lost her bid for the office of SSM U V-P Fi­ nance in the elections, brought the first complaint to Chief Returning Officer (CRO) Joanna Wedge in mid-March. Her complaint asked Wedge to investigate the campaign spending of V-P Finance-elect Jean-Charles Viens, alleging that Viens had not allocated typeset­ ting costs in his campaign budget.

This would have given Viens the advantage of having extra space in his budget for further campaign costs.

Wedge ruled against the com­ plaint on March 17, stating that Viens’ typesetting source was an accessible, major typesetter, and that he remained within his spend­ ing limits according to payment of standard typesetting costs.

Kodar appealed this decision to the Students’ Society Judicial

dent Lee Iverson, Daily Publica­ tions Society Board of Directors candidate Karen Ferguson, and defeated SS M U presidential can­ didate Ian Palm. The group filed eleven separate complaints, citing alleged instances of procedural error in the polling for both execu­ tive positions and referenda. Any complaint passed by Wedge or the Judicial Board could result in the overturning of an election or refer­ endum.

One complaint alleged that Santo Manna, Kate Morisset, elected respectively as President and V.P. University Affairs, and Viens had campaigned in the company of present SS M U President Nancy Côté and V.P. University Affairs Maria Battaglia. The plaintiffs claimed this implied an endorse­ ment of certain candidates by members of the present executive.

The other filed complaint would endanger the status of the future Athletics Complex, since it claimed that the “Yes Committee”, which supported the construction of the complex, had no fixed spending limit.

C R O Wedge ruled against each of the complaints, in a letter which

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responded to each of their claims.

The rulings will be taken to the Judicial Board after the exam pe­ riod.

She added later that in an elec­ tion of this size, “unmalicious and misleading” procedural errors can occur. “ Some of [the complaints], such as complaints about posters and handbills, were very petty”, she continued.

“Others were well-founded, except I don’t believe this is the right way of going about getting a change. I don’t believe a change should be achieved by overturning the elections, but through hashing them out at Council, at which I showed myself perfectly commit­ ted and capable, having approached Council twice already.”

Said Tromp, “She (Wedge) pro­ vided some answers...but in my opinion, there are still some prob­ lems.”

Iverson complained, “It seems that with the number of problems there were, and the variety of them, it’s hard to see how all of those complaints were ruled against” Iverson also said that any prob­ lems with SSM U elections weak­ ened their position with regard to PGSS, by questioning the legiti­ macy of their claim that Students’ Society properly represents both undergraduate and graduate stu­

dents. “Look, if you [SSMU] are going to be making the claim that you represent students and we don’t, you bloody well better have a clean act”, he said.

SSM U V-P Internal Amanda Kalhok defended Wedge’s work as CRO: “I don’t think there’s a set of elections that are run without a hitch. There’s always bound to be something, but it didn’t affect the elections, and I think that Joanna, and most of Council and the Judi­ cial Board, think so too.”

Ray Satterthwaite, who will be the V-P Internal in 1989-90, spoke more strongly on the subject, sug­ gesting that the complaints were a misguided way to effect election reform. He feels that a solution to many of the problems that were raised is simply to limit the num­ ber of ballots per poll, to avoid difficulties caused by overcrowd­ ing. “With that many ballots, it’s a job and a half, and the job Joanna did is commendable. You should fix the system, not crush it, and don’t crush what’s been done” , he said.

Satterthwaite also discussed a conversation with Ian Palm. “He [Palm] told me he didn’t agree with some of the complaints, but signed it [the letter to Wedge] anyway because it was a last min­ ute thing.”

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Looking for enthusiastic, dependable, artistic & creative students for part-time work this sum m er & next year.

J o b s a v a ila b le are: •selling advertising space for Student Handbook •office & client follow-up work •typesetting & layout of ads For more information and interview please call H e le n e M a y e r : 3 9 8 -6 7 7 7 Interview s w ill ta k e p la ce after April 5 th .

News Philanthropy helps where Claude Ryan fails The McGill Tribune, Tuesday April4,1989

BY ROBERT STEINER Administrators at three Montreal universities are telling a strange story about Irving Levitt these days.

But only a few words need be changed to make the hero sound like Robin Hood.

It is about an unknown local busi­ nessman who one day last year donated $60 000 towards entrance scholarships at M cG ill University, Concordia University and the Université de Montréal.

No one asked Levitt for the money. No one knows if Levitt is on any fundraising mailing lists.

No one even knows why these uni­ versities were chosen to receive the gift.

In the end, according to adminis­ trators, none of that is important.

What is important is that the gift, which promises to fund a total of 60 new undergraduate students at the three universities each year, picks up some of the slack left by the most serious underfunding crisis in the history of education in Québec.

It is also the kind of sum gener­ ally donated by businesses, not in­ dividual businessmen. “Generally, it is a company that will set up a

scholarship for simultaneous dis­ tribution at three universities,” Director of Financial Aid at McGill, Judy Stymest, said. “To get that kind of gift from an individual is very encouraging.”

Lise Duffy, Director of SocioEconomic Services at the Univer­ sité de Montréal, added that it was the first such gift she had received from an individual donor this year.

“With government funds on the wane and corporate donations of­ ten going to specific areas, there is an increasing need for individual gifts that we can give to any stu­ dent who deserves them,” Duffy explained.

Concordia and with hundreds of mature students and the like, our student population is rapidly be­ coming ‘untraditional’ ,” he ex­ plained. “The fact that Mr. Levitt let us tell him what our needs were meant that the type of program he has funded is right in line with what we want to do in the future.”

M cG ill’s Stymest said that, like the scholarship administrators at Concordia and the U de M , she only met Levitt after hearing about him from another administrator.

“Mr. Levitt didn’t know too much

made use of the scholarship money over the past full year.

For each university, the Levitt scholarship is part of a new scramble for private donations as provincial expenditures on Québec students decrease.

“The need for gifts like Mr. Levitt’s is growing every day,” Stymest said.

“We are giving out more and more private scholarships each year. They have become an impor­ tant and crucial element of our helping students.”

about hew one sets up scholar­ ships, so we had some meetings and decided exactly what he wanted the gift to be,” she said. “I found out that he just wants to help good students get into university. It’s something we have been trying to do for more than 100 years.”

M cG ill has not yet chosen the 20 students who will receive the Levitt scholarships on its campus next year, and U de M plans to distrib­ ute the first payments on the schol­ arship to 20 of its students this month. Concordia has already

SAMUEL VARTAN

The Rona and Irving Levitt Foun­ dation Scholarship is open to any outstanding student who cannot finance his or her own education at any one of the three universities.

At U de M , students from Can­ ada and the Third World can apply for Levitt’s scholarship. At M cG ill and Concordia, the funds are avail­ able only to Canadian students.

The differences, says Concor­ dia’s Student Aid director Roger Côté, reflect different needs at each university. “It costs between $650.00 and $700.00 to go to

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The Ivy League Torah Study Program Summer 5749 June 19th thru July 30th, 1989 Catskills, New York Admitted students will receive fu ll room and board and $1,200fellow ship Interviews Friday, M arch 31

The director o f the Ivy League Study Program w ill be on campus Friday, March 31 to interview students, both undergraduate and graduate, for admission into the Program. Students who have a sincere interest in exploring authentic Torah study and Jewish observance and their contemporary relevance are candidates for the Program. The Program is open to students who have minimal or absolutely no background in authentic Torah Learning and Observant Judaism.

Students admitted to the Program w ill be provided full room and board and a $1,200 stipend.

Candidates are invited to sign up for individual interviews and obtain Program information and applications by contacting Rabbi Ronnie Fine at the Chabad House, 3429 Peel St. - 514/842-6616 or 514/342-8195.

Additional information can be obtained by calling the Program office at 718-735-0248 or 1-800-33-NCFJE or by writing:

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News New “J” policy passed

BY D EBO R AH ROSENBERG The University Academic Pol­ icy and Planning Committee (APPC) has recommended a new policy concerning the “J” mark , which, if it is passed at a Senate meeting on April 12, is scheduled to come into effect during and after the December 1989 exam period.

A sub-committee of the APPC was formed and met four times to discuss problems with the “J” grade, reading letters from con­ cerned students and comparing the way in which other Canadian and American universities handle stu­ dents with unexcused absences.

For anyone who is still blissfully unaware as to the meaning of a “J' grade, it is a special mark calcu­ lated as a failure into a student’s grade-point average. It is given automatically when a student does not write the scheduled final exam in a course or does not complete another required part of a course and has not arranged with the in­ structor to receive an Incomplete (marked as a “K ”). A deferred exam (code “L ”) will only be granted if the Associate Dean of the student’s faculty agrees that

the abscence it excusable. How­ ever, the student can write a sup­ plemental exam later, unless he is in the Faculty of Management or Engineering.

The Committee strongly recom­ mended that these two faculties reevaluate their policies so that stu­ dents in those faculties would also have a chance to redeem them­ selves in a particular course.

The Sub-Committee also felt that every faculty should establish a committee where ambigous cases of absence could be appealed if the Associate Dean refuses to grant permission for a deferred exam.

Students would still have the right to lodge a complaint under the Code of Student Grievance Procedures, but these committees would pro­ vide a more informal intermediate step for students.

In addition, the committee rec­ ommended that students appeal­ ing to the aforementioned faculty committees be judged in the light of several factors, such as...

• whether the student has ever missed an examination before (excluding illness or affliction) •how the student has performed otherwise in the class

•the student’s overall academic record •whether the instructor in the course supports his excuse •the plausability of the excuse An honest mistake such as mis­ reading the exam time or over­ sleeping will normally not be con­ sidered an acceptable reason for getting a deferred examination.

If a student appeals his deferred exam rejection, the committee recommends that the “J” grade remain until the appeal is heard and a deferred exam granted. In the case that the deferred examina­ tion is still not granted, the grade of “J” will remain on the student’s record unless the student passes the class even with the zero aver­ aged into his grade. If this hap­ pens, the student can elect to ac­ cept the “J” and take the supple­ mental exam or accept the pass mark. If the pass mark is a “D ”, the student can accept the “D ” and still write the supplemental exam.

A student will be able to write a supplemental examination before the hearing if there is an opportu­ nity to do so, with the result that an unsuccessful appeal would make the grade a supplemental mark and

McGILL STUDENTS' SO CIETY STUDENT LEADER REGISTRATION Attention all McGill student leaders

The 1989/90 President, Editor, Chairperson, Co-Ordinator or Chief Officer of any McGill stu­ dent Club, Society, Publication, Service, Coun­ cil, Committee or Association must register with the McGill Students' Society NO LATER THAN APRIL 14,1989.

Registration allows McGill organizations to: 1. be ab le to b ook sp a ce in the U niversity Centre; 2. be ab le to book sp a ce in other ca m p u s buildings at M c G ill rates; 3. receive the sum m er edition of the M cG ill Student L e a d e r Bulletin; 4. be kept inform ed about the lead ersh ip se m in a r in Septem ber; 5. receive a co p y of the operating m anual for club officers.

Cam pus g ro u p s not registered b y April 14th will b e co n sid e re d inactive and will lo se all ca m p u s privileg es until s u c h time a s they are reinsated.

Student lead ers m ust com plete the form below or obtain a "S u m m er Registration" form from the Students' So ciety G e n e ra l O ffice, University C entre, R oom 105, 3480 M cT a v ish Street, com plete it and hand it in B Y APRIL 14TH to Le slie C o p e lan d , O peratio n s Secretary.

8

* : 8 *' I

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday April 4,1989

a successful appeal replace the final mark for the course.

Committee member JeffSymons said about the “J” recommenda­ tions, “It is a fair policy that makes a student better able to deal with the situation if it arises for him.”

Symons was pleased with the out­ come because he feels it does not threaten M cG ill’s reputation while giving the students a chance.

Maria Battaglia, outgoing Vice President of University Affairs for the Students’ Society, approves of the limited changes that were made, but doesn’t feel the changes went quite far enough. Said Battaglia,

“ It is definitely an improvement from the present system, but it is a compromise.” Those who wanted to remove the “J” policy entirely were not satisfied, and neither were those who did not want to change the policy in the first place. How­ ever, now that the faculty is in­ volved, Battaglia is confident that the students will get a fair hearing before being condemned to a “J” grade. Battaglia is also pleased because if the recommendations are passed by Senate, there will finally be a concrete and universal policy concerning supplemental exams.

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S U M M ER REGISTRATION FORM 1. Organization, Campus Address______ (Building)

(Room No.)

Campus Telephone No(s). (1)__________

____ (3)___

_(2 ).

2. Your organization is recognized by the.

(N .B . O n ly th e S tu d e n ts ' S o c ie ty , th e 14 F a c u lty a n d S c h o o l S o c ie tie s a n d the S tu d e n ts ' A th letics C o u n c il h a v e th e a u th o rity to re c o g n ize o th e r c a m p u s g ro u p s.)

3. Name of Chief Officer (First Name) Summer Address (No.)

Title (Last Name)

(Street)

(Apt.) Postal Code

Summer Telephone (1) (2) (3) 4. If you will not be in the Montreal area during the summer, please fill in the name and summer address of one member of your organization who will be in Montreal.

Name

Title (First Name)

Summer Address (No.)

(Last Name) (Street)

(Apt.) Postal Code

Summer Telephone (1) (3) (2) 5.

A U TH O R IZ A TIO N T O R E LE A S E INFO R M ATIO N The Students' Society is often asked for the address and phone number of students holding various positions at McGill. Kindly initial one or more of the following lines authorizing the Students' Society to give the above addresses and phone numbers to those requesting them: a) Student leaders on campus only ________ b) Any member of the public asking to get in touch with the person holding your position Signature,

________

_Today's Date,

Hand this form in at the Students' Society General Office or mail to: Leslie Copeland, Operations ^JSecretary, Room 105, 3480 M cTavish Street, Montreal, Q uebec H3A 1X9.

J

TO ALL OF YOU • • • • • •

Club members Committee members Student Councillors Student Governors the countless volunteers and you the McGill Community Who were active and participated in making this year an outstanding success...

P .S .: G o o d lu c k o n y o u r e x a m s a n d see y o u n e x t y e a r !

Features Fa d i n g

BY N ICH O LA S VASIL_______ The staircase in our house was old. The varnish had turned sev­ eral shades darker since the nine years ago when my father last coated it. He had been enthusiastic then - I had just been born; his marriage to Mother was fresh - but now the bare gray wood on the steps marked the heavy, invariant path which his tired feet trodded.

Mother was dear, but her tasks did not include his. Hence, the timeweathered staircase and the rot­ ted, blistered ceiling above it which spiddled brown water when it rained and for days after. Hence, the chafed, cracked plaster walls and ceilings which my attic bed­ room bore decrepitly. Just dear, Mother was. I think she did not even notice them - the walls and the ceilings and the stairs.

In the evening, when the sun drove down and the night crowded the windows, thecracks in the walls grew a little wider, a little deeper; black shadows, clinging tena­ ciously from the walls loomed over the staircase, concealing all its flaws rendering ascent and, especially, descent treacherous.

Now, upward through the shad­ ows, Mother led Doctor in tense silence to my room, their careful steps creaking and popping softly on the dank wood.

From my bed, I listened to their

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday April 4, 1989

A

steps approaching. Stiff and fright­ ened, I dreaded the moment when Doctor would push through my door and gaze upon me with his owl eyes. 1had not seen those eyes in months, but now my sickness drew them near.

Mother had not told me he was coming tonight. It was her way.

Though Justin, myyounger brother by three years, had. He had raced up the staircase, burst through my door, to tell me. I was grateful.

Now, he lay next to me on my small mattress, unusually tense and silent; I sensed it through the cold quilt which covered us. And in this decrepit stillness, we listened to the steps of Mother and Doctor creak on the staircase, crackle along the landing, shuffle behind my bedroom door.

"Justin!" Mother shrieked, "you know what I told you about sleepingin Jamie'sbed." Justin shuffled silently to his feet. "Go to your room!" Justin walked sullenly to Mother's bedroom.

She sat herself carefully on the bed and stroked my hair. "How do you feel, Jamie?" I replied that I felt fine, a lie. But before the words had had time to exist independ­ ently from my lips, her hurt, sym­ pathetic look became distress, and she turned quickly away to the somber, bearded man behind her.

"Did you hear, Doctor? What does it mean?"

w

a

"Yes...its moving faster than I thought," he said, half as a reply, half in introspect. He placed his black medical bag on the night table next to the bed, and continued, ponderously, in soliloquy. "His body tempera­ ture is lower," he said, holding my wrist. He shone a thin beam of light into my eye, and lowered his bearded lips to my face. He looked there for a long time.

"Yes. M uch faster," he said to Mother, fondling my throat. "How do you feel, son?"

1again explained - fine - but Doctor turned abruptly from my words.

"When speech become incoher­ ent, we usually try the next phase of treatment. If that fails..."

"But my speech isn't incoherent!" I yelled. Mother and Doctor turned suddenly to stare down at me - Doctor, frozen

DO YOU NEED OFFICE SPACE IN THE UNION? (Submissions will be received from March 27th until 4:30p.m., April 7th, 1989) A n y student group on ca m p u s m ay request office sp a c e in the U niversity C e n tre p rovided the group has been in operation sin ce Ja n u a ry 1st, 1988. A cco rd in g to C o u n c il p olicy adopted S e p te m b e r 13th, 1978, the sa m e g ro u p s ineligib le to receive Stu dents' S o cie ty fu n ds are also not eligible to be given office s p a c e in the U n iversity Centre.

P le a s e note the following: -G ro u p s with office sp a ce in 1988/89 will be given preference.

-The Jo in t M a n agem e nt Com m ittee will review all sp a ce req ue sts and, at its discretion, will d e cid e w hich g rou ps a ssig n e d sp a ce will h ave to sh are offices.

Due to the extremely high demand for office space in the University Centre, it would be highly appreciated if groups, which do not absolutely need office space, refrain from requesting an office.

In the letter of ap plicatio n for office sp ace, p le a se include any co m m e n ts or recom m en d atio n s relating to the p hysical condition of the clu b offices, the a d e q u a cy of the furniture and a c c e s s o rie s and any im pro vem en ts that sh ou ld be m ade.

NOTE There is no specific request form for office space. Requests, with justifications, should be typed and addressed to the Joint Management Committee. They should be deliv­ ered or mailed to: Leslie Copeland, Operations Secretary, Students' Society General Office, Room 105, 3480 McTavish Street, Montreal, Quebec H3A 1X9,

NO LATER THAN 4:30 P.M ., FRIDAY, APRIL 7TH, 1989.

Kasey Fukada Chairperson Joint Management Committee page 10

y in callous dispassion, Mother, tor­ tured. Into their stares, I contin­ ued. "I'm fine; I don't need the

veins, tingling, then burning, and my violent throes subsided beneath my cold quilt.

treatment. Mother said if I got better Iwouldn't need it...Can'tyou hear me? What's wrong with you?"

Mother began to cry.

"What's wrong with him, Doc­ tor?" she said. "What does he want?

Oh-h, Jamie speak to me baby speak to me."

Doctor reached into his black bag and drew out a small vial of trans­ parent liquid. He jabbed the needle of a syringe into it, pulled back the tiny handle, sucking the liquid into the glass compartment, and then removed the filled syringe from the vial. "This will help the pain, son."

Doctor leaned his thick hand on the bed, his stainless steel syringe gleaming like the cold shine in his eyes. I recoiled, yelling incompre­ hensibly, pushing away the pressinghand. "Baby please, this is going to make you feel batter." Mother spoke desperately. "I know you feel bad, but you'll feel better after.

Please, for Mommy, let him give you the needle."

I did not stop, and Doctor had to mount a knee over my chest to keep me steady.The Serpent struck and his needle sank into my wasted forearm. The liquid invaded my

Doctor departed into the hall­ way, bidding Mother to follow. She looked on me with saddened eyes, and then followed.

I heard their words buzzing behind the wall. Mother spoke first. 'The next treatment, Doctor what it it?"

"Yes... when I said that there was - Is there somewhere more pri­ vate...?" He whispered the end of his sentence and the words did not reach me. I strained to catch their sound, but my ears plugged sharply, blocking out the last syl­ lables.

Ibecame vaguely aware that the noise inside my brain was slowing.

The air in my room was becoming thick, the white plaster walls barely discernible behind the blur of my lids. I began to spin, and I should have been sick had the entire scene not sunk below the calm lake of sleep.

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"Jamie! Jamie!" Justin rattled me from dream. "Wake up Jamie!

Wake up!"

Starting toward his frantic calls, I saw the nervous storm brewing

Continued on page 12

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Features

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday April4, 1989

Make no money and meet exciting new people

The Year in R eview "It was still raunchy but only w hen it served som e purpose" - Peter Bissegger on the Plumber's Pot .

BY FARKIM LEY

"McGill is already w ell over half accessible" - Mebbie Aikens, Disabled Student's Services Coordina­ tor.

"Oh, did that really happen ?" - Eric Ormsby, Direc­ tor of Libraries on the Peeping Tom in the McLen­ nan Library bathroom.

"It was brought to the department's attention that it w as felt by the undergraduate body that Art H is­ tory w as a bird course." - Thomas Glen, Art History Department Chairman.

Welcome Week needs you.

Remember when you yourself were a sad little frosh, abruptly severed from all that was familiar and high school-y, plunked down in the Land of University with no damn Toto? A n d all this beer...everywhere...so c on f u s i n g . . . f a c e s . . . w e i r d games...weird bars...weird people.

You may have whimpered at night behind your closed residence door, and called home collect 46 times.

But it was exciting.

Ah yes, a happy time, those few precious weeks before you found out what a real midterm was, float­ ing down the Brador river before it

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merged with reality and dumped you heartlessly in the rapids. You had no paddles.

But wait! Next year's frosh don't have to suffer the same frustration of watching the twenty million people they met during Welcome Week pass by them in the halls-and

not being able to remember anyone's name. Embarassment. Potential friendships dissolving into a year of inane "HI there!'"s.

But you can save them. Welcome Week co-ordinators John Watson and Nghia Nguyen appeal to your compassion. They are planning to arrange the entire freshman class in groups and orient the two weeks around group activities. To get the desired three leaders per group,

they need 780 group leaders.

You don't need to know any­ thing about McGill except how to get to the Union Building for orien­ tation, where they'll tell you every­ thing else. You won't ever have to admit it if you know absolutely nothing about your school.

Being a leader will get you into Welcome Week events for free or reduced rate, into events normally just for freshpeople -like the Boat Cruise- and besides that... it will be fun and is your chance to show fifteen people YOUR favourite bars.

Application forms are available at Network Office,Trib and Daily,(all in Union Basement)and the Stu­ dent Society Counter behind Un­ ion lobby.

VOLUNTEERS ARE NEEDED YOUR IMPETUS IS NEEDED TO THE MAXIMUSH 'for next year's Blood Drive, Programming Network and Students' Society Publications

Now is the time to volunteer to help out with next year's activities!

VOLUNTEER FORM Nam e___________________________________________________________________ (Family) (Mr/Ms/etc.)

(Given)

"I w asn't going to tell anyone because I didn't see any reason to. " - Mark Cameron.

(Apt.)

(Street)

(No.)

Postal Code (2)

Telephone No(s). (1)

(3)

Summer Address (Apt.)

(Street)

(No.)

Postal Code Summer Telephone No(s). (1)_

_(2 )_

_(3)_

Volunteer Interest(s): (C h e c k as m a n y as y o u w ish)

"Renovations w ill definitely begin by the end of November" - Sam Kingdon on M oyse Hall.

A N D HNALLY..."Another year is up, exams are just a dogs breath away; holidays are just around the corner." - Aaron Margolis.__________________

□ BLOOD DRIVE □ PROGRAM M ING NETWORK □ Activities Night □ Alternative Programming □ Concerts □ Performing Arts □ Speakers □ W elcom e Week □ Winter Carnival

□ M cGILL FIESTA □ GROUP LEADER PROGRAM □ STUDENTS' SOCIETY PUBLICATIONS (photography, layout, writing, editing or design)

□ □ □ □

McGill Tribune Old McGill (yearbook) Student Directory Student Handbook

□ C h e c k here if y o u a re interested in getting involved during the sum m er.

Please indicate any particular area(s) within the activities or interests you ch ecked in which you would like to work (e.g. publicity, logistics, finances, etc.).

Hand In com pleted form a t the Students' Society General Office or mail to: Leslie Copeland, ^Operations Secretary, University Centre, Room 105,3480 McTavish Street, Montreal, Q u e b e c H3A1X9^ page 11

:V ’ •S ' .

Features

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday April 4,1989

. . .F a d in g aw ay, Continued from page 10 on his face, in its terrified expres­ sion. What is it? Isaid. Still numb, my lips slurred the words. Justin stared at me, dumbfounded, fright­ ened. Irepeated, more clearly, more loudly. What is it?

"Jamie! Stop it! You're scaring me!" he shrieked, shrinking from the edge of the bed. The startled expressions on each of our faces collided, the aftershocks of which canyonned miles of mistrust and fear between us. We stood at either end of the gorge, barely brothers, nearly strangers, lonely, frightened.

My voice longed to tell him to come back to me, to lay in my bed as he once had, but thedistance between us appeared unbridgeable. And the longer I waited, the further away we drifted, the winds of our dread howling louder every second, every foot. Oh-h, I longed to be close again.

Justin was the first to act: he stepped toward the bed - a tiny, huge step. I immediately seized on that movement to motion him closer. He did, but would not touch, or climb into, the bed. I did not press the matter.

Remembering his initial out­ burst, his frantic calls, Iasked again,

c o n t in u e d

"What's wrong, Jus? " His eyes grew wide, with fear. I decided then that 1would not speak again.

1dragged the doctor's bag from the old, faded night table and searched through its contents for something to write with. Beneath small glass vials, with with liquid, beneath sewing geera, beneath tiny knives and more syringes, I found a pen.

What's wrong, I printed, barely.

Justing grasped immediately.

"It's Doctor. I heard him talking to Mommy in the bedroom. He said there was nothing he could do. So they're going to-" Justin! Jamie! What are you doing? Mother grabbed the black bag from the bed, driving her body between Justin and mine.

I explained that it was my fault, but Mother only frowned painfully at me, and then turned her atten­ tion to Justin. He was frightened to death by her. He mumbled. He could not explain.

"Go to your room!...Stay there! " Mother watched him out, and then turned back to me. Her face bore that expression of self-torturing sympathy; the same with which she had regarded since the morn­ ing. Except now, the lines of grief sunk deeper into her face. I felt a

vague urge to console her, to hug her, and assure her, but I could not for she stood far away from the bed ; my legs would not bear me up long enough to reach her. And the needle still grogged my blood.

Nevertheless, I did my best to keep my eyes wide, and alert-looking, for her sake.

She watched me, her eyes shiny and swollen. She smiled through tears. She waited by the door for the doctor to come.

The old staircase creaked be­ neath the weight of a man. His measured step thumped along the attic floor and, arriving before a half-opened door, he paused be­ fore passing through. A somber gentleman, bearded and heavyset, he moved ponderously, shuffling behind the sad woman who stood there, in the small, decrepit room.

His formal black attire by similar­ ity highlighted the deep gashes in the white plaster of the walls. He called attention to himself with a tight cough.

The woman turned to him, and placed in his empty hands hisblack medical bag. He nodded gravely, in agreement, in thanks, looking for a moment at the sensitive woman, into her tortured eyes.

Quickly, though, he turned his eyes away, into his bag, fumbling impa­ tiently, with much-purpose in his nervous searching. His movements became less hurried when the woman took her stare off him and put it instead on the small bed, in which lay a fair-faced boy, thinned by illness.

She longed to touch him, the boy, her son, hold him one last time.

But she was frightened by him - by his implacable bearing in the face of his immutable sickness; by his inability to speak intelligibly to her and his subsequent revocation to silence. Only nine years old and so near to falling away from her arms, forever. She could not accept it wholly and still remain sane.

He was so distant from her, even now in life, she thought as tears welled up again.

The doctor tapped her on the shoulder. Unwittingly, she had found her way to the bed and was holding her son in her arms, his slight body snug in her Motherly embrace. She realized it when the doctor touched her.

He is ready for you, Jamie, she said silently with her tears, with her love. She ceded her place to the doctor and moved to the back of the small, dim room, while he

performed coldly his task on the bedside. A needle sprinkled tiny droplets of liquid into the air, fall­ ing onto the boy's slowly rising bosom. The latter remained calm, sedate.

He writhed a little, as the steady hand drove the lethal syringe into the vein, but barely enough to dis­ place the quilt which covered his wasted body. Nevertheless, the doctor had firmly pinned the in­ jected arm -a precaution for safety's sake.

The doctor rose, and the woman again took her place on the bed.

She lowered her body to the boy's, her cheek to his colder cheek, and held her child.She covered his body with hers, shielded it with her Mother's hope, guarding the life within.

For a moment, the body beneath her felt warm, warmer than it had been in days, but the spark lived at her expense. For the body drew from hers, more than she could bear, and she was cold.

Some time later, after her body had, against her will, drawn back the heat, his last exhalation faded through her arms, into the night, a memory.

-E N D

Ford’s Graduate Rebate Program It’s Our Way OfSaying Congratulations ToThe Class of’89...

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Tribune Yearbook

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday April4, 1989

E v e r y y e a r w e d e d ic a t e p r e c io u s c o lu m n in c h e s to t h a n k th e e d it o r ia l b o a r d f o r t h e ir d ilig e n t w o r k a n d c o m m itm e n t to t h e p a p e r. T h i s y e a r is n o e x c e p tio n .

A lt h o u g h th e w r it e r s , a r t is ts , p r o d u c t io n a s s is ta n ts a n d p h o to g r a p h e r s a re th e o n e s to w h o m th e c r e d it m u s t go fo r h a v in g m a d e th e T r ib u n e w h a t it w a s t h is y e a r, th e e d it o r s d e d ic a t e d th e m s e lv e s (at th e e x p e n s e o f t h e ir G P A s ) to m a k in g s u re th a t a n e w s p a p e r a p ­ p e a re d (a lm o st m ir a c u lo u s ly ) e v e r y T u e s d a y .

A s t h is is th e f in a l is s u e o f th e y e a r, I w is h to t h a n k th e s ta ff a n d b o a r d f o r h a v in g s u c c e e d e d so w e ll t h is y e a r a n d f o r m a k in g m y jo b so ea sy . L a d ie s a n d G e n tle m e n , th e ones w h o d e s e rv e a ll th e c re d it ... . K ate Morisset

to print the photos which would

though, he voiced a desperately needed social conscience which we had lost sight of along the way. Paul had the dedication and the drive to make things work, inspiring us all. Death to false metal, Paul. And remember, you are, after all you, and you’re a most bodacious babe.

K e lly G allagher-M ackay Concisely and affectionately known as K G M , the recyclo­ maniac from T.O. joined the ed board in February after a distin­ guished tenure as a multi-tal­ ented staff writer. She caught everyone’s attention with little gems like her Pink Flamingo article and her scathing articles on mediocre movies. She did an aces job as “co” editor of entertainmentwhen somebody else had other things to do and I’m sure she’ll be even better on her own as next year’s features editor, if the Harlequin job doesn’t melt her brain.

P a u l M ich ell, no t ’ We coerced him. He didn’t know what he was getting himselfinto.

He thought the Trib was a dance club but by the time the truth

was news editor. Paul brought controversy, Toronto elitism and an innate knowledge of scotch to the Tribune. Notthings we needed but that we learned to appreciate nonetheless. What began with The Last Tempation has become a permanent fixation, and Paul has found himself cornered by agates, picas and column inches from which he cannot escape...

“What, am I wrong?”

P a u l H o rw itz Horwitz. The man, the myth, the legend. Creator of the famed “Tapes”, Paul came to the Trib­ une in January and joined Paul (the other one) in news (to the great relief of yours truly). This Ernie and Bert team revolution­ ized news reporting andblew their competition (who? what’s that?) away. Paul has brought many things to the Tribune: manu­ scripts from the Erin Beatty con­ tingent, smoke, Hunter S. Th-

K im F a rle y The sun babe from Vancouver brought optimism to the paper and a bit of sunshine into every­ one’s life. Smiles galore and al­ ways the time to give a kind word of advice, have made Kim indispensible to this stressful environ­ ment. This organizational dy­ namo put together a sensational

features section this year, covering everything from the elderly to alcohol. Not only this but she furthered discussion about the language issue, was slandered by the Daily, and managed to get caught in a blanket... All in one year! As next year’s entertain­ ment editor, we can only expect bigger and better things from this energetic super-fantabulous W OMAN. R u a r i N icho lson Ruari and his cousins have been very active with the Tribune this year, sleeping, eating, and smokingin the office. In fact, they were alm ost permanent fixtures of the green couch. With controversial personal politics (Cuba, the for­ midable Beatty, etc.) this sportsGod -surfer-dude, attracted a lot of attention to himself and brought very unique perspectives to the sports section. He often threw his weight (and other big objects such as garbage cans) around, blackened his eyes, and

the editorial staff with endless imitations of Roy Orbison. He has also been full of surprise and endless fascination. Behind the silence which was originally pres­ ent he showed us a character which we all wish we had seen sooner, and a wild sense of hu­ mour. The Tribune is lucky to have this man calling the shots again next year...

C h a rlie “pleeeeeease let me give y o u a n ickn a m e ” Q u in n As next year’s big cheese Charlie will have ample opportunity to give nicknames and receive them, to deal with the bureaucratic hassles and to understand why it is com pletely im possible to get stories in on time. To the aes­

thetic values of life, he has dedi­ cated his weekends for the past two years and now he has to deal with content as well. You know, to this day I wonder what really happened in the sewers of C al­ gary that summer day....

N ic k L eon ard os A springtime addition to the staff, Nick brought sanity to the sports section ( a commodity in which it was severely lacking). This Bos­ ton native who omits the “u” in his Canadian words still has a sense of humour and dedication which will be a great asset as he heads next year’s sports section.

Watch out for the food at Skala, Nick, the Trib needs you un-poisoned next year.

■ hurt his back... but hey, this year would not have been as “formidable”had Ruari’s stories not been able to serve as comic relief.

Duber,man. Woman. Thanks guy.

You’ll go down in history.

N eal H e rb e rt ....and gradually we began to recognize the man behind the lens... he was alive... he liked the dark.... Neal has been great this year, going to assignments with two minutes’ notice, taking hours

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the folks at the Tribune were completely insane. But not Davi d.

Nope. He stood by us all those Saturday nights and com pletely cra zy Monday afternoons. He was an absolute Godsend. Thanks

H e a th e r M itch e ll, w ith a “t” The second half of the dynamo features team joined the staff in January, and brought with her so many new ideas that the paper was taken by storm. She re-energized the paper and brought the cohesiveness and compromise which we so desperately needed.

With the mini skirts and the “hiho’s”, this unforgettable blond gave her endless optimism and constant constructive critisism to the Tribune which accepted it gratefully. Her influence will surely be felt in this office for years to come. Good luck next year Heath!

M ik e C raw ley Heart and soul of the Tribune, journalist extraordinare Mike allowed us to strive for perfec­ tion. All around (production, ed­ iting, writing, spelling) guru, Mike tried his hand at all aspect of the paper, even at news (ha, ha) Thank God he got accepted to Western journalism school! It is with Mike that the last of the old guard leave the Tribune, and I can’t help butfeel atad sentimen­ tal. He has dedicated himself wholly to the paper over the last three years, and I want to make

Jm y PiCTUR

, Jr v i llsiv 'e y ™ D Ê K 'tæ jH D a v id G ru b e r Boy, have we given this guy a hard time. Talk about baptism by fire... Not only does he have to learn Pagemaker™, he was sup­ posed to manage the whole damn section. On top of all this, he is expected to become a political analyst. Well, if it were me, the resignation would have come quickly and I would have thought

known that he has taught a ll of us so much that I don’t know how to begin to thank... Maudlin as hell.

Cow t-shirts, the Daily Snews Issue, and Zaphod B. are just some of the things which will linger on in this (unbelievably hot) office for many years to come...

We have been lucky enough this year to have had reliable, dedicated people in all areas of the paper on whom we could rely to deliver. The follow­ ing is a list of all those who have contributed over the course of the year:

Kathy Foster, M ariam Bouchoutrouch, Aaron Margolis, Mike M artin, Dean Gemmell, Ian Sirota, Matt Price, Ian Dorion, A n d re w M o rg an , Ian Valaskakis Shannon Aldinger, Chris A le x a n d e r, M arce llo Ausenda, Danielle Balte, Alicia Batten,Zaphod Beeblebrox, Annabel Busby, Christine Byron, Pauline C hakravartty, Sujit Choudry, Suzy Costom, Steve Fraser, Heather Gold, An­ drew Green, Max Harrold, Elisa Hollenberg,Susannah Hough, Tim Houston, Sa­ rah Johnson, Noah Levine, M elissa K lein , M oira M a c D o n a ld , M ich ele Mercier, Linda Miller, Mich­ elle Ninow, Tim Quinn, Deborah Rosenberg, Lina Saigol, Trine Schioldan, Colin Scott, Rob Steiner, Fiona Stewart, Stéphane St-Onge, Richard Tattersail, Val Tremblay, Larry Ullm a n , Laurie W esley, Rhonda Yarin, Susie Osier, Chris Forbes, Andrezj Szymanski, Helga Tawil, John W atson, Lionel C h o w , Simon Nellis, Julie-Anne Perry, N ich olas V a sil, Robert Steiner, Stephanie Zelwoman, Mark Freeman, Chris Mann, Brent Lokash, Billy M avreas, Stephen G reg ory, Julie Barlow, P a u lin e C h a k ra v a rty , Melanie Little.Colin Scott, Tanya Van Valkenberg, Annabel Busby, Robert Watkins, Sarah Galteria, Michelle Ninow, Lisa Femancez. Christen Aldana, Andrea Hitchfield, Mas­ simo S a v in o , C la ire McManus, Josie Duan, Karen Christenson, Fiona Stewart, and all those whom w e have forgotten.

HELENE MAYER page 13

TA LO( THI

Well, what do the year the 1 have done the please eyes ar interesting, Unfortunately, fer the most ab ute rush to conform to av cut-up, squeez unfair proporti ing photograp was worth spe thedarkroom, photo at all.

Now justio sented here foi on a complete spread, withou tisement, is a gi the personal fil photographers their dedicatio and a partial vi lengthy copy a tant's razor.

*♌•

. Throughout ■■ i capture and ort copy with photographs.

3hs often sufl the last min­ able material tee. They are hrunk to such re hard-workv'ondcring if it trday night in if it’s the same served. Pre;’s enjoyment, : rated centcr•ace of adver>to essay from :Tribune staff ed reward for the past year, te war against duction assis-

Entertainment

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday April 4, 1989

Innocuous Innuendo: The profligate conclusion B Y M IK H A IL C R A W L IN SK I When we last left you...

But J.P . Sm ith...had. a Sm ith & Wesson in his hand and was squinting with one eye through the sight, right a t Am anda’s left breast.

-I.I., Part 5 This soap opera reflects real­ ity. He pulled the trigger immedi­ ately, without hesitation, slow motion, or commercial interrup­ tion. And the six-foot frame ca­ reened to the floor, spouting even more blood than Clint Malarchuk, as dead as Sylvia’s sandwiched cerebrum.

Jean-Pierre blew the smoke away from the revolver, took a swig from a pitcher and began to lock up the empty tavern. The smell of watered-down draft was reminding him of his days as a waiter at a nameless Montreal pub and giving him a tenacious migraine. He had to escape Sud­ bury, to a place of which no good Ontarion would ever think. “The Maritimes,” he thought, “that’s it!” New Brunswick flashed into his head, but since Sylvia Biletnikoff had likely bought it

and he had murdered her per­ sonal executive secretary’s lover, it might not be a good idea. Be­ sides, it was against his religion to eat fish. PEI, however, looked nice in commercials.

Meanwhile... Zoe, the scandalhungry journalist and wife to the ex-Jehovah Witness minister, and Vladimir, son to Sylvia though born of Amanda, were eating M cCain’s french fries, blissfully ignorant of the icky red blood all over Sudbury’s pollution-clad streets.

They were enjoying their affair, though Zoe was ticked that Vlad’s stam­ ina was not up to snuff.

This disturbed his bogus macho manhood, and they dealt with the di­ lemma in a demure, day­ time fashion. After all, schoolchildren tune in to this show.

T h e ir tastefully-appointed room in the Irving-owned Char­ lottetown Hilton gave them a view oflobster traps and included, free of charge or tariffs, a colo(u)r t.v. which received all major U.S. net­ works. Vladimir leaned over to kiss her, but she stuck her palm

in his lips. He’d been drinking cheap Canadian beer and hadn’t shaved since Thursday, so he rem i nded her of her journalist co­ workers. She was growing tired of Vlad’s pathetic come-ons (she’d heard better lines at frat parties) but she endured to learn the dirt behind Sylvia’s sordid past. She

could thus break the scoop of the century and escape from that rag for which she worked and its fleshy-thighed page three sexploi­ tation. Hunter S. was right: journalism was a filthy hole.

The door knocked.

“Rrrhum e sehr-veeceF said the

voice. Though neither had ordered anything, neither was suspicious because nobody ever expects the man on the other side of the door to be sporting a Smith & Wesson.

Unfortunately, he was. “This is a hijacking,” muttered J.P. be­ tween clenched dentures. “I’m holding you for a ransom of a million dollars, a plane to Cuba and a year’s supply of Yogen Fruz.™ Oh, and I want the Human Chin to give me a Prime M inisterial pardon for k illin g Amanda O’Manley.”

The young quasi-lov­ ers realized this man meant business. Zoe slunk sensually under the satiny sheets, slowly showing several sec­ tions of slinky skin to the sicko sadist Smith.

Momentarily, he was distracted, and Vlad took the opportunity to begin a titanic struggle for control of the weapon with Jean-Pierre.

Meanwhile... an alien named Zaphod Beeblebrox was masquer­ ading as a mediocre entertain­ ment writer for a mediocre news­ paper at a “world-class” univer­

sity. Having been usurped in the spotlight by a Torontonian with a penchant for sarcasm and pop culture, he packed his bags and tookhisPan-Galactic Gargle Blas­ ter on a vacation. Wandering in his hotel, he was suddenly struck by a sense of cosmos. Vibes were exuding from his home planet. It was going to happen. “And man,” thought the big Z, “the shit’s really going to hit the proverbial fan, now kiddies.” He hightailed it out of the planet as quick as possible, hitching a ride with a Galabrian shuttle bus on the milk run through the Way. Then, it happened. The planet was enveloped by a greenish gas, endowing its inhabitants with a Zen-like form of peace fulness.

People stopped being racially in­ tolerant, M NCs stopped oppress­ ing people, women were paid equal wages for equal work, sense­ less wars stopped, and Vladim ir and J.P. stopped fighting and hugged one another.

Did they all live happily ever after? Sorry folks, good soap op­ eras never die, they become se­ quels, spin-offs and chances for bad actors to get jobs to pay for Manhattan’s exorbitant rent.

Tune in next...

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Entertainment

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday April4, 1989

Spider Robinson: Strange limbo

BY GALLAGHER MACKAY Two years ago, I spent the worst part of a lonely fortnight feeling friendless and very sorry for myself. The better part of these two weeks were spent with my new friend, Spider. Spider would regale me with tales of this bar he knew, out in the middle of no­ where, where everyone seems to know just exactly how you felt, when they are allowed to butt in, and when that would be an intru­ sion. Everyone in the bar seems to have a truly excellent bent for making puns, on a near constant basis. They have a ritual at this bar, which allows people to forfeit a deposit on their mugs for the evening, and toss their stein into the fireplace, accompanied by a toast. The ritual appears to have a cathartic effect, and while the shards ofglass melt in the flames, many a story has been told.

The name of the bar is C al­ lah an ’s Crosstimes Saloon. Spi­ der Robinson stormed into my life that summer, as one of the few authors alive who could re­ store my faith in humanity. In this world, where the only groovy thing to be is a cynic, a man from New Brunswick suddenly went out and wrote not one but three

books against the tide. All of the characters in these books like each other, while retaining a healthy dose of vitality which made them an antithesis of the walking sen­ timental drivel with which most even remotely uncynical books are populated.

Simultaneously, Spider Robin­ son made me a fan of science fiction. His success at characteri­ zation was in a large part due to stories that were truly twisted and finely warped. Robinson is an expert at taking today’s sci­ ence and technology, and adding a small dose of mythology and a soupçon of scale to create a stun­ ning final concoction. Sometimes the result is frightening, some­ times funny, but surprisingly often, the techno-twist is thoughtprovoking.

Last week I got my hands on a new Spider Robinson novel, M indkiller. In M indkiller, some­ one has created a machine with the potential to erase the con­ tents of one’s memory from a distance.

The book takes an unusual ap­ proach to narration as it tells two increasingly linked stories, as they occur, five years apart, lead­ ing to a unified and suitably tense conclusion. There are many ele­

ments of a thriller and even a detective story about the plot, which take s a fair number of turns as it draws to its conclusion. The villains and heroes have charac­ ter deeper than the page on which they are written.

Most importantly, however, the novel maintains its author’s humanity. As alead-in to the idea of erasing the memory, we are introduced to “wireheading,” a process in which a wire, implanted in the brain, stimulates pleasure centres excessively. A person is unable to function in any way and death usually ensues.

The idea of wireheading brings Robinson to a discussion of the principles of reward, and the inseparable connection of pleas­ ure with punishment in the human psyche. (The original re­ search on that topic was done in the 1950’s right here at McGill, by the way.) The only conclusion or judgement Robinson makes at the end of an extended rumina­ tion on the subject of pain is that, as one who commits a felony is a

felon, God is an iron.

Some years ago I had a dis­ agreement with a friend, whose reading list contained an unsuita­ bly high, I thought, proportion of books that I had relegated to that strange limbo of Canadian Con­ tent. “But why,” she argued, “is there any reason w hy, if you are going to randomly buy a book, you shouldn’t randomly buy a Canadian book?” I still have no answer for her, so allow me to assure you that this master is a Canadian, should you feel obli­ gated to do your random buying with a nationalist spirit, as I have

since that battle. This book also beats the hell out of Sidney Shel­ don and the collected works of that whole genre of American novels. The iVeiu York Times says Robinson is “the next Heinlein, if that wasn’t an insult to Spider.”

There is a slightly heavy em­ phasis on the idea that friendship and love are a good idea, that beauty and prettiness aren’t fully interchangeable and the impor­ tance of “truly great laughter.”

But these really are very mild flaws in a book that makes you feel like you have made yet an­ other friend.

Nothing but Flowers

BY PAUL HORWITZ________ Maybe it was Reagan, maybe it was Bon Jovi, maybe it’sjust that it’s the late eighties - whatever the reason, it is undeniably true that one of the latest crazes in recent times has been the mariage of rock music, teenage hysteria,

and Ireland. We thrill to the cult of Bono, we yell and curse for the Pogues, and now we have Hot­ house Flowers. Judging by the little hurricane these five lads whipped up at their second con­ cert here in six months, the Church of the Irish Guitar Hero

Continued on page 18

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Entertainment

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday April 4,1989

Toronto vs. Montreal: beyond bagels B Y SARAH JO H N SO N If you go very far from Toronto in any direction, you tend to hear about how dreadful it is: “Toronto is huge and impersonal and the houses are too close together. It’s too busy and it’s too boring. It’s filthy and it’s inhumanly clean.”

And of course, “the bars close at one.” If you hear it often enough, you start to believe it. These days, when people ask me where I’m from, I mumble, and hope they hear Uganda.

When I applied to McGill, it was because I wanted to live in Montreal. McGill being a decent school helped, but mostly the decision rested on cafés, spiral staircases and Leonard Cohen.

Montreal is a great city. It’s got panache in spades, the people know how to dress, they know how to enjoy themselves and if it weren’t so cold, you couldn’t ask for a better entertainment scene.

But people in Montreal are only too aware of this. A Montrealer sports the attitude that Toron­ tonians don’t know how to have fun, and as a result, Toronto itself is not fun, or certainly not as fun as Montreal is. It is well estab­ lished that Montreal is fun. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t. On the other hand, over the Easter break I took some people to visit Toronto, they didn’t act bored.

Get out your guns, folks. In my humble opinion, people in Toronto have just as good a time as those in Montreal, only they go about it slightly differently, or, they have different ideas about what hav­ ing a good time means.

Toronto is, first ofall, flagrantly and irrepressibly middle class (dare I say “bourgeois”?) in its

very spirit. If you can’t take that, forget it, you’re not going to like the city. Torontois flashy andfull of people on the make (although you don’t see half as many people wearing dead animals as in Montreal). In both cities, going out to eat is abig deal, but whereas in Montreal, you get your cheap red wine at the dépanneur and head for Duluth, in Toronto, you order Beaujolais Nouveau to go with your goat’s cheese and sundried tomato pizza (oops, sorry, that was las< year). The dep wine is more up my alley, but, having tried it, I can understand the appeal of the Beaujolais route.

A friend once said “Yuppies have a lot of fun.” I think it’s great. As long as you’re reasona­ bly aware that you’re being to­ tally pretentious, it ’s okay.

Toronto is always criticised for trying to be New York, but no one attacks Montreal for wanting to be Paris ( it does - those café au lait bowls are not some quaint Québécois custom.)

O f course, this example of goat’s cheese vs. smoked meat is an absolute cliché. There are many Mr. Greeks in Toronto and lots of pink neon and chrome pizza par­ lours here. Nevertheless there is a real difference between these two cities, and it’s best exempli­ fied in their bar closing hours.

The words “great night-life” are inextricably linked with Mon­ tréal. If you look it up in an encyclopedia, you’ll find a picture of a disco. Jazz clubs, dance clubs, bars and Ben’s, at night Montreal is the place to be. I’m not going to waste time defending Toronto’s nightlife. Why should I? Toronto is a cosmopolitan city of almost three million people. It has alot of great clubs and bars, many of

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which very much resemble the ones in Montreal. The music is the same and the people are as “cool.” Anyone who argues other­ wise is a moron.

That’s when all those lawyers are pushing paper in their sky­ scrapers, and, asaresult, Toronto is a day city. During the day, people go to things. They go to the zoo, to Harbourfront, to muse­ ums, to art galleries, to the Plane­ tarium (a very big deal), to the Eaton Centre, to Scarborough Towne Centre, to parks, to plays, to the opera, to the ballgame, the horseraces, pinball arcades, bowl­ ing alleys, St. Lawrence market, Kensington market, Chinatown,

little Italy, little Armenia, Yonge street, Bloor street, Queen street west, Queen street east and any other available place. No matter what the day of the week, these places are all packed. None of these places are unique to Toronto, but in terms of atten­ dance, Montreal can’t compare with T.O. Finally, Toronto has more movie theatres than anywhereelsein Canada. (Ifyou look down your nose at all this, well, I don’t want to talk to you) Torontonians love hanging out and will do so whenever the op­ portunity presents itself, regard­ less of race, creed or social status.

..More Hothouse Flowers

Continued from pa g e 17

is, if anything, getting stronger.

The band’s opening act, Martin Stephenson, left his band The Dainties in Newcastle and ap­ peared onstage armed only with a guitar and a microphone - on which he periodically beat his hands, head, and the rest of his body, in a fit of percussiveness which was surprisingly entertain­ ing. He seemed to be a person­ able, simple musician with some very intelligent songs, but we’ll never know for sure. Too many lyrics, the usual opening-act acoustics, and a loud audience eliminated Stephenson’s chances of being understood. Though the crowd warmed to him and to his amusing stage patter, this was simply not the right moment to try and appreciate his music.

Besides, it was Hothouse time.

Ifyou thought the band sounded enthusiastic on vinyl, they ex­ plode in concert. Starting with the acoustic guitar introduction

to the best song on People, their debut album, The Older We Get and ending with a spirited foursong encore including a future classic called Mountains, the band played most of their old songs and a host of new songs - with enthusiasm and skill. Led by future teen idol Liam O Maonlaf on vocals and piano, and with impressive showings by guitarist Fiachna O Braonâin and drum­ mer Jerry Fehily, the Flowers inspired a Beatles-like amount of hysteria in the tie-dyed, mostly blonde and upper middle-class audience thronging in front of the stage.

Musically speaking, the band was impeccable. H ighlights included Yes I Was; a new song called See That Woman, which found a way to revitalize the obligatory audience participation; I ’m Sorry, monologue and all ; and their biggest single to date, Don’t Go - a song which inspired a

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M e m o ria l U n iv e rsity

Qf N e w f o u n d la n d

If an attraction fails in Toronto, there must be something seri­ ously wrong with it. Only in Toronto would you have an Easter parade where the Vagabond Motorcycle Club is followed by the Brownies (tell me Torontoni­ ans are conservative and uptight).

All of this goes a long way to explaining why the bars close so early. It’s not because people in Toronto are puritanical. It’s be­ cause they want to get up early so they can have fun while the sun shines. You know, that warm yellow thing you don’t see much of here.

P.S. I absolutely agree. Mon­ treal bagels are better.

Scotiabank M

communal, almost religious feel­ ing marred only by the geek sing­ ing harmony, V E R Y L O U D L Y , in my right ear.

On the minus side, the band’s heartening spirit and concern about the state of the world is marred by a tendency to sacrifice information to idealism. Don’t Give It A llAway, a new song about the environment, provided some of the strongest moments of the concert, but its introduction was painful, with O Maonlaf saying, “This is kind of about the state of our planet E a rth at the moment...like, dolphins and sky and everything.” Right. Another song was dedicated to Mother Teresa, and said at one point, “There is no right, no wrong, no blame.” Mother Teresa, who speaks out publicly against abor­ tion and contraception, somehow doesn’t seem to personify this idea.

But the band’s idealism is strengthened by the incredible hope and monster grooves of their playing - so much so that Feet on the Ground, a song with occasion­ ally embarrassing lyrics, becomes an anthem in concert. Their spirit was especially concentrated in O Maonlaf s fine voice, and his con­ tact with the crowd. Whether seated at his piano or up on his feet touching hands with his fans, all eyes were focussed on him.

With such a hot frontman and a skilled group of musicians, it hardly needs to be said that Hot­ house Flowers provided a concert which got every audience mem­ ber up on their feet. Hopefully, if the band’s songs become more informed, they will also get audi­ ence members to think long after the concert is over.

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Entertainment Like, a cham eleon, y ’know?

The M cGill Tribune, Tuesday April4, 1989

BY MAX HARROLD________ On the streets of L.A., the word is th at Madonna’s L ik e a P r a y e r album is “way cool.” The trendoids in Lalaland, as told to me mere days ago by a friend on the Coast, are lavishing praise on the pop queen’s latest. “People love her out here,”he said. “She’s, like, a major big-time star, man.”

This little tidbit of gossip is sig­ nificant only in th at the American-cum-global recording indus­ try is proud of stars who success­ fully reinvent themselves, thereby making more money. At the same time, critical recognition is seen as an important - although not a necessary - extra. So this wiser, better Madonna has killed two birds with one stone, proving she has the bucks ($60M in three years according to Forbes Maga­ zine) and the brains to deliver more bucks. Her new album is well-liked by the critics, outra­ geously well-produced and musi­ cally and lyrically ambitious.

She looks fabulous in her new video, flirting with a black Christ and singing in front of burning crosses. The controversial video for the album’s title track is amazing in th at it is both a stir­ ring anthem and a catchy tune.

With themes of interracial love, religious ecstasy and stigm ata interlaced with Madonna’s newly aggressive voice, it is no wonder the video clip was banned in some places.

In an inteview in the N e w Y o rk T im e s recently, Ma­ donna explained the video’s finale. “As the choir sings, she reaches an orgasmic cres­ cendo of sexual fulfillment intertwined with her love of God.” About Pepsi’s decision to withdraw its sponsorship of the L ik e a P r a y e r ad - for which it paid her six million she said, “Art should be con­ troversial and that’s all there is to it.”

With this album, Madonna has cemented her position as th e eighties pop star. Hard to pin down as an individual, she speaks to a generation seemingly without roots or conviction, demonstrating her - and our - confusion about a decade of people and events th at has come and gone with­ out leaving anything real, but only amélange ofother things from other places and times.

That’s okay, I guess. We can do reality next decade. We

have a fine past and we can more than make do with it for now.

Take the sixti es for i nstance.

Madonna’s new album is full of wonderful refrains from this groovy era. References to the Beatles and to Simon & Garfunkel abound. Listening to Madonna’s ode to her mother, P r o m is e to T r y , one is re­ minded of B r id g e o v e r T r o u b ­ le d W a te r, while La Mad’s fantastic D e a r J e s s ie is a throwback to the Beatles’S g t.

P e p p e r days. And Detroit-born Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone, the bratty Italian-Catho­ lic, seems like a giant goddess on some of the album’s tunes.

Her voice towers from above and beyond. We know her, she seems to say. And We Love Her. Madonna borrows from her ownlifein the bitchy T illD e a th D o U s P a r t, obviously based on her stormy marriage to cooldude-cam era-basher-actor Sean Penn. E x p r e s s Y o u r s e lf and K e e p i t T o g e th e r a r e catchy, danceable tunes sure to be this summer’s hottest.

Even the Rolling Stones are here, in the album cover’s con­ cept, which depicts a crotch

M adonnag o in g w h e r e n o w o m a n h a s g o n e b e fo re .

A bove,

Like A Prayer.

B e lo w ,

Sticky Fingers.

reminiscent of the 1971 S ti c k y album, designed by the late Andy Warhol. Only Madonna does not have a raging hard-on: she has jewelry.

And Madonna has the smarts to borrow from a living musical genius as well. She’s been spend­ ing time with Prince. When you think about it, the two seem like a perfect match. The wizard of brilliant funk and groove has proven Madonna’s biggest and best influence on the album. Their duet L o v e S o n g is an intelligent bump-and-grindpas-efe-efeizxwith superbly unpredictable twists and turns.

Buy this album. (Smell it too.

All copies are scented to smell like a church bench.)

But watch out for the diva of dance, though. She’s one step ahead of the game, already pre­ paring her next chameleon-like switch. Hanging out with ru ­ moured man-friend and film di­ rector Warren Beatty, she is play­ ing nightclub singer Breathless Mahoney in his flick D ic k T ra c y , being filmed in L.A. Her hair is shoulder-length and bleached blonde. It’smajorbig-time, dudes.

M a d o n n a ’s la t e s t a lb u m , Like a Prayer, is a v a il a b le o n W E A

F in g e r s

R e a c o rd s.

C lo sin g h o u rs of F ood & B everage O perations F o r th is Sem ester • R e g u la r S c h e d u le u n til F rid a y , M a y 2 8 ,1 9 8 9

T h e A lle y ►Closes F r i d a y , A p r i l 7 , 1 9 8 9

U n iv e r sity C e n tre C a fe te ria • H o t m e a l & s a la d b a r s id e C l o s e s A p r i l 7 ,1 9 8 9 • G r i l l S id e : P a r t i a l s c h e d u l e f r o m A p r i l 1 0 to A p r i l 2 1

M a n a g e m e n t. A r ts . M u s ic . L aw .

C lo s e s A p r i l 7 , 1 9 8 9 R e d n a th L ib ra ry C lo s e s A p r i l 2 , 1 9 8 9 D e n tis try : P a r tia l O p e r a tio n s A p r i l 1 0 to M a y 1 9 , 1 9 8 9 f r o m 1 0 a .m . t o 2 p .m .

E .U .S .: P a r t i a l O p e r a t i o n s A p r i l 1 0 to A p r i l 2 1 , 1 9 8 9 f r o m 9 a .m . t o 3 p .m .

Sum m er H ours & O p era tio n s

f r o m 8 a .m . t o 4 p .m .

L A S T D A Y O F O P E R A T IO N :

T e r r a c e : O u t s i d e R e d p a t h L i b r a r y f r o m 1 1 :3 0 a .m . t o 3 p .m .

F rid a y , A p r i l 2 1 ,1 9 8 9 C a f e te r ia s o u th s id e re -o p e n s M a y 1 ,1 9 8 9 B r e a k f a s t, lu n c h s , d e li-b a r, s a la d b a r &

E d u c a tio n :

a lc o h o lic b e v e r a g e s O p e n i n g H o u r s : 8 a .m . t o 3 p .m .

C a f e t e r i a s o u t h s i d e o p e n i n g h o u r s f r o m 8 a .m . t o 3 p .m .

B r e a k f a s t , l u n c h e s , d e l i - b a r , s a l a d b a r & a lc o h o lic b e v e r a g e s O p e n M a y 1 to J u n e 2 9 ,1 9 8 9 M o n . t o T h u r s . f r o m 1 2 :3 0 p .m . to 6 :3 0 p .m .

C lo s e d F r i d a y s C lo s e d J u n e 3 0 to J u l y 9 , 1 9 8 9 O p e n J u l y 1 0 t o 2 8 , 1 9 8 9 f r o m 7 a .m . t o 2 p .m .

C lo s e d J u l y 2 9 t o S e p t . 5 , 1 9 8 9

page 19

Entertainment Wrecks saves New York Stories

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday April 4,1989

BY TRINE SCHOILDAN

N e w Y o rk S to r ie s is a collection of three unique films depicting various lives and lifestyles in the Big Apple under the direction of (in order) M artin Scorsese, Franci s Ford Coppola, and Woody Allen.

Scorsese’s L ife L e s s o n s stars Nick Nolte as an artist with a foot fetish who has achieved cult status but is tormented by his frustrated Muse. His character Lionel “The Lion” Dobie has spurts of violent expression when he he paints with inspiration from blaring rock music. The most interesting element of this film is the visual decadence of Dobie’s obscene employment of paint. He covers his canvases several times over, applying paint in thick, oily handfuls.

Dobie has a love-hate relation­ ship with his young and insecure assistant (Rosanna Arquette), but the script handles their relation­ ship in a strange way. It attempts neither to ask nor answer ques­ tions about their relationship, so there does not seem to be any resolution in or sense of purpose to their suffering. He incessantly repeats at her, “I love you,” and “I’ll do anything for you,” which

L A S T

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confirms his neuroses, but grows irritating. By the end of the first half of the film, it might have been nice to fast forward to the end, but the visual interest was undeniable.

Coppola’s L ife W ith o u t Z o e is a story about an unrealistically well-adjusted little rich girl who lives in a posh New York hotel while her parents travel the world. Zoe’s adventures fail to be as amusing as they somehow might be, and a net rating of the film holds it to be silly and unin­ teresting.

L ife L e s s o n s was decadent in its orgiastic depiction of wet col­ our, while L ife W ith o u t Z o e fo­ cuses on the decadence ofthe rich, w ith no a p p a re n t decision reached. On the bright side, this film offers an excellent opportu­ nity to replenish your popcorn without fear of missing anything.

By far the best of the S to r ie s is O e d ip u s W reck s, written, directed and starring Woody Allen, with Mia Farrow. Sheldon Millstein, (Allen), a middle-aged lawyer in a successful firm, is filled with angst at any mention of his mother... until he and his fiancée (Farrow) take her to a magic show. Wonder of wonders, she disappears in one of the acts.

E E K

O F

At first Sheldon is filled with remorse and panic, but gradu­ ally, hilariously, he begins to shed many of his inhibitions. Every­ one approves of the transforma­ tion, but then, nightmare becomes reality and his mother reappears as an enormous face hoveringover New York City. How will Sheldon deal with this problem?

Woody Allen is hysterical, the best reason to go see this movie, and O e d ip u s alone is enough reason to go s e e N e w Y o rk S to r ie s .

L ife L e s s o n s does w arrant some attention. With some reluctance, I recommend this movie. Two out of three isn’t bad.

New York Stories is a t F a m o u s P la y e r s ’ L o e w s T h e a tre .

Chances Are slim...

BY KIM FARLEY

creative than most. Instead of a straight die/retum pattern, (H e llo

W hat is this fascination Holly­ wood has with “Hi-honey-I’mback-from-the-dead”movies? One can picture Shirley Maclaine, giggling fiendishly while she blackmails film executives right and left.

C h a n c e s A r e is the very latest in the reincarnation/ghost genre, thoughit’s premiseis alittlemore

A g a in , K is s M e G o o d b ye), C h a n c e s A r e begins in the sixties show­

C L A S S E S ,

casing the mushy marriage of Corinne (Cybil Shepard) and Louie (Christopher Macdonald).

It then kills Louie and has him re­ appear 22 years later (much shorter) as Alex, (Robert Downey Jr.). In but one of C h a n c e s A r e ’s perverse twists, Corinne’s daugh­

A P R I L

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ter Miranda (Mary S tuart Masterson) brings her reincarnated father home as her boyfriend.

Things get sticky and perverted when Alex begins panting around the house after Corinne while Miranda pants around after Alex.

Director Emile Ardolino’s con­ ception ofHeaven is cheap, poorly executed cinematic plagiarism of

Continued on page 21

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G o o d L u c k o n E x a m s f r o m G e r ts ! page 20

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L I I 1

Entertainment

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday A p ril4 ,1989

Watermark

Setting her

BY LAURIE WESLEY England seems content to ex­ port great quantities of mindless, dance floor drivel such as Rick Astley, Erasure, or Sam antha Fox, while Ireland seems to have taken the opposite route. Though only afewmusicianscome to mind when one thinks of the Emerald Isle (U2 ofcourse, Hothouse Flow­ ers, and perhaps Sinead O’Con­ nor, Clannad, or The Men They Couldn’t Hang, if you really strain), yet the emphasis through­ out is on quality. Singer and com­ poser Enya, on her first North American r e le a s e ,W a te r m a r k , is certainly no exception to this current rule.

W a te r m a r k is the sum of al­ most two years of painstaking de­ votion. Teamed with her pro­ ducer and his wife, Enya has brought forth an album which blends not only the neo-classical

the tracks. In w ith tr a d i ­ some songs, tional Gaelic such as O n themes, but Y o u r S h o re, her exquisite you might feel concert voice bathed by a with the la t­ cold Irish mist, est in modem while in others music tech­ such as S to r m s nology. The in A fr ic a , you endresultisa can almost feel b e a u tif u lly th e tro p ical rich tapestry ra in .

Some of sound-an songs, like the e n jo y a b le single, O rin o co au ra l fe ast F lo w , and the that you can pounding T h e play a t all L o n g s h ip s , of­ times. fer a paradoxThe album they pick you draws you in upbythelapels with the title and shake you, track W a te r ­ E n y a s ta n d s a lo n e a n d a b o v e th e r e s t o n d e b u t r e le a s e Watermark. while a t the m a r k , a slow same time repiano etude, Gregorian, chant. The theme of laxing you. A strange feeling, inbut quickly launches into C u rwater flows through the rest of deed. s u m P e rfic io , a haunting, almost

Oftentimes, the lyrics on W a ­ do not m atter. The music is pastoral, and the theme or emo­ tion in a song comes across either through rich aural imagery, through a suggestion in the title, or solely through Enya’s voice, whether she is singing in Gaelic, English, Latin, or no language at all.

It is tempting to say th at Enya is reminiscent of Cocteau Twins or even of her older brothers and sister in Clannad, but on further reflection, she stands alone, and above th e m .W a te r m a r k is an excellent addition to any music collection. The only reservation I hold about the album is th at it is not long enough, but you can be sure to hear more from Enya in time to come. te r m a r k

E n y a ’s d e b u t a lb u m , Water­ is a v a il a b le o n W E A R e c ­ o rd s .

mark,

A ssem bly Required

BY TIM HOUSTON In this day and age, when eve­ ryone and their sister areinvolved in some form of music ‘band’, it is increasingly important to have a name. A name which, upon first encounter, one would be inclined to remember for a while. Also it is an alarming state of affairs that said name, combined with an image, tends to dominate the pro­ ceedings, to overshadow the music, the message, and any inherent talent (or lack thereof) of a given collective pursuing a particular musical direction and making it a way of life.

Along comes a local band, from the West Island, actually. They call themselves Assembly Re­ quired. Now, apart from the ap­ parent and immediate impact such a moniker might harbour on an unassuming population, they are young and talented. We are then presented with the poser of why does yet one more damn group deserve attention? Oh, because they are ju st a bit differ­ ent.

The baptism offire was an origi­ nal composition conceived for the Bloom County Billy & the Boingers contest. Reportedly, theirs was chosen 13th of an estimated 1768 cassettes sent in, in qualify­ ing terms of an absence of overall quality in songwriting, musicianship, and delicacy.

Their short history includes a selective series of appearances.

Their first peformance before a discerning crowd was when they performed at the annual Lindsay Place Battle of the Bands, which they won. Next, they volunteered to entertain the children at Camp Carowanis, a camp for the benefit ofdiabeticchildrenlocatedin Ste. Agathe. Despite the daunting heat, humidity, and overall sticki­ ness (later developing into the occasional thunderstorm) of th at Aug. 5, they had the place a-hop-

pin’ and a-jumpin’ with great appreciation. Continuing their mini-tour of southwestern Que­ bec, they popped up at Fairview, the Fashion Centre™ itself, to help celebrate the 60th anniver­ sary of T h e C h r o n ic le , the West Island municipal newspaper.

George Balcan was there, too. As well, two shows with The War Brides at Station 10 garnered a great deal of applause, commen­ dation, and a few free drinks.

These admittedly unusual and sporadic choice of locales mirrors a penchant for enigma. A series of posters to advertise the shows were created by Chris, displaying a modern graphic sensibility borne out of a Fine Arts degree.

They purport to display a differ­ ent member of the band, but they are barely recognizable under all the blow ups and pasting.

Formed just under two years ago, with only the required mini­ mum of personnel changes, they have remained the same unit.

Tracey Houston (no close rela­ tion) and Andrew Belson were involved with the Lindsay Race High School Symphony Orches­ tra (or something like that).

Andrew’s incessant fiddling around on a stray keyboard much impressed Tracey to switch from stand-up bass to a more conven­ tional and much more practical one. Why not?

The rambunctious Gord Bagshaw was the drummer, as his talents were well-founded during his tenure in the very same school band. After an unsuccessful time with a singer whose repertoire consisted of every Phil Collins composition in existence, Kylie Francis was recruited for vocal duties. She wore interesting ankle-length dresses and enjoyed an eclectic taste for contempo­ rary music. Credentials enough.

The crucial elem ent was needed. Who could play the gui­ tar? They listened to a great

number of aspiring Alvin Lees, but ultimately deci ded on Tracey’s brother, Chris. He pleaded to have his talents heard and was indeed fortunately successful in winning them over, distortion pedal not­ withstanding. To broaden the sound, Andrew’s brother Richard was hired for his serviceable saxophone blowing.

Their music as yet cannot be classified. Starting off with cov­ ers (mediating between Fleetwood Mac, INXS, Tears for Fears, and Lone Justice), they are pro­ gressively discarding them in favour of originals. Chris pens the majority of the lyrics, Andrew the music, but each one is highly opinionated and readily contrib­ utes to the creative process as a whole. Influences can now be characteristic of the music from R.E.M. (geez, those guys again?), 10,000 Maniacs, Edie Brickell (Chris sincerely believes New Bohemians obtained the notebook containing his lyrical musings), Richard Thompson, Fairport Convention, and an assortment of late sixties Big Chill-ish clas­ sics.

W hat is on the horizon? More songs incorporating mandolin, bagpipes and harmonica and a possibility of a run at The Tycoon in the future with or without the Brides. Most importantly, they have ju st recorded a two-song demo tape to be distributed to every conceivable record label, radio station, club, magazine, and any publication with entertain­ ment listings in this great wet metropolis of ours.

Before I shut up, always be remembered every time you pur­ chase a model T ran s Am, swingset, or shelving from Ikea th at a great new band is about to blossom. Instead of wasting your time supporting two aged gentle­ men hawking wine coolers, per­ haps give it where it is due when the occasion comes.

M o n tr e a l b a n d a s s e m b ly R e q u ir e d c a u g h t in th e g la r e o f p u b lic ity .

... more

Chances

few sparks into their relation­ ship. Her rendition of sexual awakening after 22 years of celi­ H e a v e n C a n W a it. Yet Warren andhissaxare, sadly, nowhere to bacy is passable, though decidely Maddie-ish. Masterson, too, re­ be found. This movie perpetuates prises her teen movie m anner­ the stereotypes but forgets to mix in the charm. The scenery con­ isms, although her character sists of white puffballs, the ‘ad­ really isn’t given enough space to develop into much else. m inistrators’ wear white robes, There are a few salvageable and - you got it - everybody in bits. Ryan O’Neal comes off affa­ Heaven is white. Whoops.

The film’s unlikeable charac­ bly as Louie’s best friend, who ters are another major flaw. A loves Corinne silently and hum­ movie with as improbable a prem­ bly. His is the only character to recognize the absurdity of the ise as this relies on the actors and actresses ability tolaugh at them­ situation, which is fortunate be­ cause O’Neal is the only actor selves. YTcnow, make it fun. with any comic timing whatso­ Beatty could do it, Downey Jr. ever. He seems to realize th at all cannot.

This is an actor who takes him­ this incestuous, cradle-robbing self seriously. You get the im­ lunging and grabbing has to be carried out with a twinkle in the pression that he feels th at HE eye. Otherwise it all looks pretty and only HE should be getting damn silly...and funny for all the laughs, so laugh or else. wrong reasons.

Downey J r.’s Alex walks into One other gem is Susan Ruttan the house with an air of owning (L.A. Law’s Roxanne), whose the place, perusing Corinne’s cameo role as a fruitcake Alex diary, helping himself to orange meets in a psychic bookstore is juice straight from the contained, fun. She turns to Alex suddenly helping himself to Corinne. Now, and clutches his hand : “I’m get­ tell me that if Louie had acted like this, he would have been li­ ting a strong German Shepherd vibe.” onized as such a neat guy. Michael These freaky touches are J. Fox might have been able to make Alex’s predicament endear­ scarce, unfortunately. C h a n c e s ing, Downey Jr. makes it insuf­ A r e consists mainly of bad lines poorly delivered. No one seems to ferable.

Watching his arrogance dis­ be having a good time. This is one ‘feel-good movie’ th at makes you solve into a pool of lust around Corinne is amusing. Cybill Shep­ feel sort of...well, nothing. ard, followed by the same filtered Chances Are... is a t F a m o u s light of Moonlighting, (must be in P la y e r s ’ L o e w s T h e a tre . her contract), manages to put a

Continued from page 20

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TKa I J A n i l T rik.m A A«%n*l il lOOA iiik/ui ic , l u e d u u y n p m h , it o t

M cG ill Sports, the year in review

BY TRIBUNE SPORTS STAFF It has been a long and arduous year in McGill sports. As is the case in sports, while there aremany victories, so too are there many defeats. (I’m sorry, sportswriters find it hard to be flowery) We have done our best to look over the various sports this year and summarize their seasons.

Hockey It wasn’t our champion­ ship season, but this year’s Redmen hockey team was one of the greatest inMcGill history. Led by first year coaches A1 Grazys and Jean Pronovost, the Tribe broke and set more school records than anyone would have thought possible.

In the entire 17-team On­ tario Universities Athletic Association, no team scored more goals ( 173 ) or allowed fewer (76) than the McGill Redmen. On their way to an overall recordof26-9-3. and a league record of 19-4-3, they established school rec­ ords for overall wins, league wins, overall goals (239), league goals (173), assists (409), overall points (648), and league winning percentage (.788). The Redmen finished the sea­ son ranked fifth in the nation.

Benedictis (who was voted Most Valu­ able Player at the Athletic Banquet on Friday) and number 15 Tim Iannone, the Redmen offence has never been so packed with scoring punch. De-

Benedictis (26 goals, 41 assists, 67 points in 24 games) led all point-getters in the OU AA. Iannone (31-28-59 in 26 games) was the leading OUAA goal scorer for the second year running. Ian­ none is now McGill’s alltime leader in goals (117) and total points (222), pass­ ing Russ McConnell (116), and Mark Reade (218), re­ spectively.

McGill placed two play­ ers on the OUAA East AllStar team, Tim Iannone and Alain Cusson. They joined Concordia forwards Mark M ahon and Richard LaPlante, UQTR defenceman Normand Nellis, and Concordia goalie Robert Desjardins. Concordia fin­ ished a distant third in the East division, smarting from a 0-5-1 record against the Redmen. It marks the fifth consecutive year that McGill has taken the sea­ son series from those Stinggers.

The 1989 season was the third consecutive year in which UQTR handed the Redmen their golf bags for an early 18 holes.Butwithout doubt, 1989marked the first in many which McGill was considered a legitimate contender for the national championship. Look at

who they defeated: No. 1 ranked Cal­ gary at Calgary 8-7 in overtime; 4-0 shutout at Wilfrid Laurier; 6-4 win against national champion York; and a 6-5 overtime win against top-ranked UQTR. At the hockey banquet on Saturday, Bryan Larkin was awarded

go, it had been 79-77.

This finished off an outstanding season which saw two Redmen make the OUAA East division all-star team.

Patrick Arsenault, in his fifth year at McGill and David Steiner were both named. Steiner, averaging 19.9 points

■racy m in in g sets down h e r pace

T r ib u n e f i l e p h o to

Rookie of the Year and Martin Hétu was voted most improved. Congratu­ lations, guys.

Basketball On Sunday, February 27, the Redmen basketball finished their 19889 season with a first class effort against the Concordia. The 90-78 score was not, however, indicative of this final game as, with just under a minute to

per game became McGill’s all-time single season scoring leader with 355 points. He was also a second year Forbes trophy nominee and was named a Molson Player of the Year.

Ken Shildroth, fifth year coach for the Redmen, brought the team to a 135 OUAA division East record and a 22-10 mark overall. The Redmen captured the Quebec Basketball Fed-

McGill University Harlo Recognition

R IN G D A Y CUSTOM DESIGNED STONE-SET RINGS Deposit required: Gold $50,

Silver $35

E v e ry W e d n e s d a y UNIVERSITY CENTRE LOBBY ALL DAY

SôHie'» a service of

McGill students ' society

T h e M c G ill B o o k s to r e is s p o n s o r i n g a u s e d te x t b o o k b u y - b a c k : A p r i l 13 a n d 14, a n d 17 to 21 in t h e B r o n f m a n B u ild ­ i n g lo b b y f r o m 9 a .m . - 5 p .m .

T o p p ric e s p a id fo r b o o k s w e n e e d f o r n e x t t e r m , o t h e r title s w ill b e b o u g h t a t d e a l e r c a ta l o g u e p r ic e s . O u r d e a l e r w ill b u y th e w id e s t ra n g e o f b o o k s, h a rd o r s o f tc o v e r , w h e t h e r u s e d o n th is c a m ­ p u s o r n o t.

M cGill page 22 4

B O O K S T O R E 1001 S h e rb ro o k e W est • 'WH-Ths-t

Sports

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday A p ril4 ,1989

eration and Laurentian Invitational titles to go along with a second place finish at the annual Redmen invita­ tional, third place at the Concordia classic and a sixth place showing at the Wesmen classic in Winnipeg. The team members are a close unit and exempli­ fied the McGill spirit as was seen in the manner they handled the loss to Con­ cordia.

The McGill Martlets had a moder­ ate season, marked early by the fact

I guess if good ‘ol Bill and Ted, former writers for the Sports section, were to describe the football this year they would describe it as a most hei­ nous season. Bogus! From the national champions to the Red-who?, the foot­ ball team incurred a fourth place finish with a 3-4 conference record. After starting the season ranked the best team in the land, McGill faltered stead­ ily until the were out of the top ten.

Despite Bryan Fuller’s ardent on-field

Tim Iannone prepares to deck a Stinger that there were only five returning players. Certain individuals, however, shone for the Martlets. Led by AllCanadian second team guard Tina Fasone, and QUBL all-stars Leah Hayman and Julie Rousseau, the M artlets proved to be a basketball force, closing their season with a tough loss to the Bishop’s squad and a 17-19 overall record.

Football

B io -R e s e a rc h , |

T r ib u n e f i l e p h o to

leadership and play-making ability (go deep - 1’Ù throw), the Redmen fell to Bishop’s on that cold and frosty fall day.

The one highlight was some of the outstanding individuals who passed through the Redmen ranks including five conference stars: Vince Gagne, Mike Soles, Bruno Pietrobon, Paul Kerr, Chuck Petitpas, with Gagne and Soles earning CIAU First and second

C a n a d a 's

All-Canadian berths, respectively.

Soccer When McGill sports fans think of a dynasty of the decade, the Redmen soccer team comes immediately to mind. Despite losing the majority of the starting team to graduation, this rookie team continued its winning ways. The footbooters qualified for the CIAU Championship for the eighth time in the eighties. Their season came to an end at the hands of the University of Toronto, losing 1-0 in the champi­ onship game on a second-half penalty shot. Unlucky, boys. The Redmen finished their regular season with a mark of 8-4-3, and 4-2-2 in the QUSL, defeating Sherbrooke 1-0 to take the QUSL Championship. This season also saw their eleven-year home unde­ feated streak stopped at 45 games, by Sherbrooke, also by a 1-0 score on October 23 in Vancouver. All-Star honours went to defender Felice Mastrostefano and Midfielder Julian Barrow, who were selected to the first and second All-Canadian teams, respec­ tively. Midfielder Jean-Paul Vialard and forward Jeremy Prupas were named to the QUSL All-Star team.

Goalkeeper Betrand Lee, who earned four shutouts this season, was chosen as McGill’s game MVP in the champi­ onship final.

Martlet and Redmen Swimming Outstanding! That is the only way one can rate the Martlet swimmers.

Coached by Francois Laurin, the Martlets held down the top spot in the nation for four weeks. The Martlets placed third overall in the nationals with our renowned Olympic medalist

AndreaNugent winning two golds and one silver medal. Also amazing was Tracy Darling who swam consistently well for the Martlet team.

The men, while their season paled in comparison to the women’s, were relatively successful. The Redmen

finished second at three meets: the McGill Invitational, the Sherbrooke Invitational, and at the University of Montreal dual meet. The team finished eighth overall at “the Nationals” with freshman Rick Cosgrove winning a silver medal.

M cG ILL N IG H TLIN E

le a d in g

5 9 8 -6 2 4 6

r e s e a r c h c o m p a n y o n t h e lif e s c ie n c e s is

Students Talking to Students

p r e s e n tly re c r u itin g p a r tic ip a n ts fo r c lin i­

FUNDED BY'MCGILL ALM A MATER FUND'

c a l s tu d ie s in v o lv in g b o th n e w a n d k n o w n p h a r m a c e u tic a l p ro d u c ts . T h ro u g h o u t th e y e a r, th e c o m p a n y r u n s s tu d ie s b o th o n

Too m uch work? Not enough tim e?

w e e k -e n d s a n d d u rin g th e w e e k . D e p e n d ­ in g o n t h e l e n g t h o f th e s ta y , th e c o m p e n I

s a t i o n r a n g e s f r o m $100°° t o $1250°°.

O r m a y b e y o u h a v e a q u e s t io n , n e e d in fo r m a tio n , o r j u s t fe e l lik e t a lk in g to a n o t h e r s t u d e n t a b o u t ...a n y t h in g !

F o r f u r t h e r in f o r m a t io n , p le a s e c a ll:

630-8230 M o n d a y t o F r id a y , 8 :3 0 a .m . to 9 :0 0 p .m .

B io - R e s e a r c h L a b o r a to r ie s L td ., Q u a lit y R e s e a r c h S in c e 1 9 6 5

T h e n c a ll M cG ill N ig h tlin e ! O u r v o lu n t e e r s w ill b e th e r e to t a lk to y o u e v e r y n ig h t, 6p .m . - 3a .m ., u n t il M a y 2n d .

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page 23

Sports

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday April 4,1989

T h e S p o r t s P it W ITH AARON MARGOLIS Before McGill officially begins its summer hibernation, (although some would argue the administra­ tion is permanently AWOL), there are still a few matters I feel neces­ sary to expunge before I hightail it out of Montreal and head home to my beloved (if not beleagured ) Winnipeg.

The topic today is BEEFS and BOUQUETS. One last chance to praise what’s good around OT McGill and one final oppurtunity to cast scorn on the not so nice. So here we go.

First off, a big beef to the T r ib ­ u n e ’s own Mike Crawley for his remark concerning SSMU presi­ dential candidate Doug Fowler.

True, Fowler may have had a few

too many when he decided to per­ form a striptease and begin leading the cheers at the McGill-UQTR hockey fi­ nal, but I say more power to him. To turn him into the

A humungous bouquet to Dylan Morantz and his madcap crew who cheer on Redmen sports in a big way. Alth o u g h th e i r

brand of humour b e tte r id e n ti­ fies with the Fo­ rum sec­ tion of

J o h n

Tower of McGill is wrong. If only the other can­ didates had shown a little more ch u tzp ah and a lot less drabness, (fuckin ’ ehed. note)

P e n t ­ house

m aga­ zine, these g u y s

show up to all McGill sporting events and in some instances dis­ [XXXXXXX1

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play greater effort than the players (of the opposition, of course).

I have a six pound beef against anyone who thinks University athletes shouldn’t be open to criti­ cism of their performances in the press. Just because they are ama­ teurs who aren’t paid for what they do, does not make them untouch­ ables. Anyone keeping up to date with the trash that goes on at American universities knows that no student-athlete is above re­ proach. (i.e. of Aaron covering his ass - ed. note) A big fat beef to any athlete who knowingly takes anabolic steroids to enhance perfomance. Its cheat­ ing, pure and simple, anyone caught with the crap in their system should be out of sports, forever.

One man who deserves a large [XXXXXXX1

SA T U R D A Y S AND SUNDAY S 5 0 % OFF S P E C IA L ! fro m 2-5 p.m .

ia S t y le

any meal purchase over $3.15 — you receive 50% off the least expensive of the two meals

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Happy Hour 2 fo r 1

Present this coupon

4-7 p.m. 7 days a week

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(Chicken, beef, or végétâtîle)

bouquet is Eyal Baruch. He has the thankless task of organizing the security staff for McGill sports events. No group of people must put up with more abuse, yet he and his staff do a great job.

On the other hand give a big, bloody side of beef to the security staff at Concordia University whose members tried to behead and bejewel a McGill Engineer over an impromptu, but harmless, broomball match. I say lock up the morons, however, going to Con­ cordia must be punishment enough.

Here’s a big bouquet to all the Total Workout instuctors and staff who run a great program. Because of you I’ve got the endurance of a Wade Boggs.

Give a beef to anyone who puts down the grand city of Winnipeg and especially the hard working Winnipeg Jets. At least in ‘the Peg’ there aren’t eighty blackouts a year.

And oh ya, next year, the Jets will take the Stanley Cup. You heard it right here Whomever painted the ramp at the Union Centre that putrid shade of fire engine red deserves a major league side of beef and to be shot at sunrise.

A big bouquet to Earl Zukerman, the McGill sports infomation director who does more for McGill sports than most of the administra­ tion put together. Lose him and we’ll all find out how the other half lives.

Chalk up a man sized beef to the incompetents who create the exam schedule. May your next paycheque bounce.

Send a big bouquet and a debt of gratitude to the players on all the McGill teams that were forced to

continued on page 26

GROUPE QUEBECOIS DE RECHERCHE D’INTERET PUBLIQUE

QUEBEC PUBLIC INTEREST RESEARCH GROUP

C

all fo r

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The Québec Public In te re st R esearch G roup invites applications from studen ts who would like to develop projects for th e benefit of th e public.

QPIRG places p riority on th e following general issue areas:

Environment • Mass Transit • Women's Issues Health • Education • Student Housing

A P P L Y NOW

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Le G roupe Québécois de R echerche d 'in té rê t P ublique invite les étu d ian t(e)s à so u m ettre des idées de projets qu'ils v o u d ra ie n t m e ttre su r pied, p o u r le bénéfice de l'in té rê t publique.

P rése n te m e n t, les p rio rités généales d u GQRIP-M cGill sont:

Q P IR G / G Q R IP

F ull tim e, p a r t tim e a n d g ra d u a te stu d e n ts a re encour­ aged to su b m it id eas and/or projects on th ese a n re la te d topics by J u n e 1,1989 for our research agenda.

A pplications are available in QPIRG's offices a t 502 E aton, 3620 U niversity S t., 9a.m . to 4p.m.

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A

r o je c t s

Environement • Transport en Commun • Santé Education • Logement Etudiant • Condition Féminine

A P P L IQ U E Z M A IN T E N A N T

Les étu d ian t(e)s à tem p s plein, à tem p s p a rtie l e t aux étu d es su p érie u res so n t to u s encouragés à so u m ettre leu rs idées et/ou p ro jets d an s ces dom aines, ou s u r des su jets connexes, a v a n t le 1er ju in , 1989.

Les form ulaires d'applications sont disponibles a u b u re a u d u G Q RIP, Edifice E aton, Local 502, 3620 R ue U n iv ersité, de 9:00 à 16:00.

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The McGill Tribune, Tuesday April4, 1989

L .J

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M cG ill student athletes honoured

BY TRIBUNE SPORTS STAFF Held on Friday nightat the Shera­ ton Centre , the Athletics banquet was once again a chance for McGill athletes to come together and cele­ brate our fine sporting tradition, awarding selected individuals for excellence in their field. From Redmen football to Martlet hockey, all teams were strongly repre­ sented, including a few sporting celebrities such as CBC announcer Scott Russel, who was master of ceremonies for the event. Also in attendence was chairman of athlet­ ics, Richard Pound, “Welcome winners, losers and the Rugby team.” (Thanks for cornin’ out, Dick -ed. note) Among the many awards were the Molson Cup Players of the Year, whose recipients included basket­ ball’s David Steiner and Tina Fasone, Football’s Richard Babin and Michael Soles, Hockey’s Mario De Benedictis and Soccer’s Felice Mastrestefano.

The 1989 Mariel V. Roscoes Award, presented to graduating female student athletes for profi­ ciency and leadership, was awarded to a clearly delighted Leah Hayman, the three year captain of Martlet basketball. As cheers filled

the ballroom, packed with 400 athletes and their dates, Leah of­ fered her thanks for this well-de­ served honour. Leah leaves McGill as the sixth leading scorer in Mar­ tlet history and was second leading scorer this year, averaging 15 points a game. The other female athletes competing for this award were Sarah Brandon of the Martlet Rugby team and Sonya Matthews of Martlet Track and Field.

After a speech from student so­ ciety president, Nancy Côté, which touched on many aspects of the McGill athletic community, the Forbes Trophy was awarded to graduating superstar Mike Soles for the second year in a row. Soles, who recently tried out for the Pitts­ burgh Steelers and was drafetd in the first round by the Edmonton Eskimos, is a dynamic player whose accolades are well known in the McGill community. He has endeared himself to McGill athlet­ ics by his unassuming manner and sincerity. Said Coach Baillie of Soles, “He’s a force on and off the field.” Other male athletes who competed for the Forbes trophy were Hockey’s Tim Iannone and Mario DeBenedictis and basket­ ball’s David Steiner.

Despite some eating problems' involving the Men’s Rugby team, the awards continued unimpeded.

Soccer player Jean-Paul Vialard won the Ulders Auders Memorial Award, given each year to a sec­ ond year student for academic and athletic excellence. Most Valuable Player Awards also went to Mich­ elle B onner and Pavel Pochobradsky, alpine skiing; Kim Barnes and Benjamin Wincure, badminton; Manon Leblanc and

I

Francois Binette; cross-country running. Liana Te and Ralph Guntzel shared fencing honors.

Jane Godbold refused to share MVP for field hockey. Peggy Pritchard took top honors for the Martlet hockey team. Rowing MVPs went to Signe Golffedsen and John Younger. MVP awards also went to Karine Morin and Frank Magdich for their rugby excellence; Josie Dutil and Mastrostefano for mens’ soccer; Ste-

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fanie Dobro and Shoa Ehsanj, squash; Lorraine Veilleux, syn­ chronized swimming; Tracy Dar­ ling and Jason Meeuwig, swim­ ming; and Rosanne Roy and Steve Brougham, volleyball. Track and field honors were accepted by François Binette, Derek Coving­ ton, and Sonya Matthews. Most importantly, cheerleading awards went to Nancy Catauro and Joce­ lyn Lessard. Bry Shmi shut down?

Sorry, girls.

W E L C O M E W E E K '8 9

[^ow i m m ® re©< A p p lic a tio n

F orm

(PLEASE PRINT)

Name: Mr./Ms./Mrs./Miss_

and getting hotter...

By popular dem and, last year's Group Leader Programme has been expanded to include all new students.

The emphasis is on participation, par­ ties and fun! The new students will be di­ vided into groups of 15; each group will be led by th re e returning students (that's you!).

It doesn’t take a math major to figure out that we need lots of volunteers (from e v e r y faculty)!

That's where you come in. If you are into meeting new people, soaking up some sun, and enjoying parties, read on...

As a group leader, you'll be spending time at various Welcome Week events and introducing the newstudentstoMcGill. Y o u r McGill! You don’t have to be an expert.

We'll provide you with all the information you need. How involved you get is up to you and your group. You can go all out (cover­ alls and two weeks of partying), or you can enjoy the long hot days in a more relaxed manner.

The important thing is to get involved.

If you want, find a friend or two to do it with you. But don't miss out - there'll be special events for Group Leaders only, and maybe some surprises as w ell...

'T fir ty o z ie '

(first)

(last) Year, Faculty (e.g. U1, ARTS):.

Present Address: Postal Code Telephone: (Day)_____________ Summer Address (if different).

. (Evening), Postal Code

Telephone: (D ay),

.(Evening),

P l e a s e c h e c k a s m a n y o f t h e f o l l o w i n g a s y o u w is h :

P j I WANT TO BE A GROUP LEADER I want to work on Welcome Week over the summer □ SSMU/Network and/or Q Faculty I want to help out during Welcome Week □

SSMU/Network and/or

Faculty

Please list any comments/ideas/interests you have, for either Welcome Week or the Group Leader Programme (eg. What you'd like to see done, what you'd like to do):

Applications received by April 7 will be given equal consideration. After April 7 applica­ tions will be reviewed on a first-come, first-served basis, so don't delay. Welcome week runs from Aug. 28 to Sept. 9.

Please return form to the SSMU information counter. Programming Network office (Union B07), your faculty society office, or mail to:

Group Leader Programme - Welcome Week '89 Students' Society of McGill University 3480 McTavish Street _ Montréal^PQ H3A_ 1X9___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ page 25

Sports

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday April 4,1 98 9

Tribute to T r i b u n e Sports

... m o r e

BY TRIBUNE SPORTS STAFF tion. Aaron, in his travels with the the head are gonna hurt Investiga­ just for cornin’ out. (Make that a As the year in Sports winds its hockey team and abuse of the foot­ tive reporting proved that a picture C a m e l and it’s a deal: ed) merry way into our memory and ball offensive line, always man­ of Aaron with the caption “he’s Basketball writing belonged to the Student Society rushes to heap aged to compliment few and ofdead” graced the football changthe former Redman, Mike Martin. accolades on its people, the T r ib ­ Mike is a keen and enthusiastic u n e Sports section happily falls individual who helped the sports into this trend. ' ® editor greatly both with basketball The Sports section is an anom­ and sports shorts. As a person who aly among other sections at the had the misadventure of going to a T rib u n e , those redneck few who b-ball game with Mike, I soon sit over the beer fridge, adjusting learned that his enthusiasm their ball caps and discussing their stretched toobscene levels. In fact, favorite chew and how the Maple I had to pay off surrounding fans Leafs are on their way to the Stanley just so they wouldn’t “club” Mike Cup. W e’ve managed to stay away to death. Cheers to Mike. from D a ily fistfights, co-editors Rory Ruck, the shadowy figure with the same names and the T r ib ­ who reported on every aspect of une office as much as possible (for McGill Rugby, was, in fact, acreawhich we beg Charlie’s forgive­ tion of the Sports editor. As a trib­ ness.) From Redmen football to ute to Ruari’s psychology, Rory Martlet hockey, we’ve been there, Ruck was what can be called our including sending Neal’s photog­ Leathernecks Ruari and Nick survey the issue as Aaron looks on editor’s “little friend.” Ruari is raphers to a few imaginary events. fend many (especially, big men). ing room; a subtle reminder to our presently seeking counseling with Led by the dynamically insane A particular example which nearly writer to tone down his inferences.

Frosty, his new “friend.”

Sgt. Ruari Nicholson, the staff this cost Aaron his life was the afore­ Other than this, Aaron has done a Dean Gemmel is a guy with a year consists of Cpl. Nick Leonar­ mentioned incident when he wrote: great job, both on the T rib u n e staff neat name. It’s a sportswriter’s dos, Aaron Margolis, Mike Mar­ “...I direct your attention to the big and with the CKUT sports casting name. We like Dean. Dean is neat. tin, Rory Ruck and Dean Jamal top, where at this very moment, the unit.

Other people we’d like to thank (sorry, Gemmell) funniest show on earth is now Nick Leonardos is a guy who are Earl Zuckerman, Ken Muss, A well-received addition to the playing. No, it’s not a videotape of popped into the T rib u n e one day Kirsten (tattoo you), Heather section was the “Sports Pit” with Dan Quayle’s last press confer­ looking for a smoke and is now Mitchell, Ian Dorion and Neal Aaron Margolis, a column which ence. It’s...get ready for it....the next year’s section editor. Our heir Herbert. Good luck to the staff of gave its writer instant popularity McGill Redmen offensive eleven, apparent quickly proved his skills, next year’s section and hearty and a wicked coke habit, no matter and boy are they offensive.” Aaron, writing on Redmen hockey. To congratulations to Charlie Quinn, what he says in this week’s sec­ lad, coke or no coke, those kicks to Nick; an honorary W in sto n L ig h t, the new editor of the T ribu n e.

The Graduates' Society of McGill University* w o u ld

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D e a n is n e a t.

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M anagem ent M a ry -B e th A r s e n a u lt P a u la F a m e s i J u lie G h a y ad B o g d a n O d u lin s k i M a r i a P o ic o B rig itte R o c h e le a u C la u d io S p in a M BA M itc h e ll A b r a m s J a n i c e P ilk in g to n M e d ic in e P ie rre G u y R a m in K h o ra s a n i H o s s e in S a d e g h i-N e ja d

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* T h e G r a d u a t e s ' S o c i e t y o f M c G ill U n i v e r s i t y o f f e r s t o a l l g r a d u a t e s a v a r i e t y o f b r a n c h p r o g r a m m e s , th e o p p o r tu n itie s to k e e p in t o u c h w ith c la s s m a te s t h r o u g h n e w s le tte r s a n d R e u n io n a c tiv ity **

put up with my oft malodorous air.

The same cannot be said of the coaches.

Finally, two well meaning beefs.

For the person (R.N) who asked if Paul Horwitz is really Aaron Mar­ golis. Get real buddy, I’ve got at least twelve inches on that dude, in BOTH directions! Secondly, as far as the cocaine habit goes, I’ve to­ tally kicked it and am now resting comfortably in the able care of my Irish Catholic Mama (ya right! she’s Polish and the last church she’s ever visited was named ‘Maury’s Quickie Hitches’ in Vegas where she betrothed my Iranian Protestant dad).

A bouquet respectfully thrown to Ruari and Nick, just for being great guys. If there’s someone you can count on, it’s these two. They exempify what is good at McGill.

To all my fellow Pitonians, don’t fret I’ve alredy began sharpening my hatchet in preparation for next fall. Football season! Ah, the memories.

McGill Alma Mater Fund**

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T h e M c G ill N e w s

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T h e M c G ill A l m a M a t e r F u n d , t h e U n i v e r s i t y 's a n n u a l g i v i n g p r o g r a m m e , e n c o u r a g e s m u c h n e e d e d g r a d u a t e s u p p o r t to f u n d s t u d e n t lo a n s , lib r a r y a c q u is itio n s , s c h o la r s h ip s , a th le tic s , a n d s t u d e n t a n d fa c u lty p ro je c ts . page 26

Sports

The McGill Tribune, Tuesday April4, 1989

I've always believed there was no such thing as total good or total evil and that good and evil must live side by side and even within a single human cell but today I think I truely saw the Ulstermen for the first time.

God knows that the Catholic church has done all the wrong things to feul their fears of Rome but the British aristocracy has done the real job.

They've created a mongol race.

They'll never rise here above the level of self imosed ignorance. Their minds have become vacuums that shut out light and air and ideas and beauty. Trinity

S p o rts

BY TRIBUNE SPORTS STAFF Registration for summercourses begins April 24,1989. Courses are offered at a variety of times in order to accommodate as many in­ dividuals as possible. Further in­ formation and ascheduleofclasses was made available yesterday at the gym. Courses are offered to the general public as well as members

S ho rts

of the McGill community.

The following are courses that will be available: Jazz Dance Social Dance Tennis Squash Badminton Get gh

Action Aerobics Lite weight/ Low Impact Weight Training Runner’sClinic Total Workout Tae Kwon Do Kayaking Rockclimbing Boardsailing

Golf Yoga Equestrian CPR basic CPR heart-saver CPR recerti­ fication Bronze Cross Bronze Medallion Life Saving Stroke effective­ ness Red Cross (all colour levels) Although still on probation, the men of the McGill University Rugby Football club were once again victorious as they beat Prin­

ceton on Saturday afternoon. On a pitch layered in 3 inches of snow the hearty Canadians pushed their free trade perogative and gave the Yanks an offer they couldn’t ref­ use, a 6-0 loss. In normal Rugby fashion both teams nipped off to the Peel Pub for some good cheer.

Congratulations to the new presi­ dent, Joe Libratore, as he replaces Jay Godsall for the 1990 season.

1989 SUMMER INSTRUCTIONAL ATHLETIC PROGRAM SESSION I • May 8 - June 30

M c G ill U n iv e rs ity C a m p u s R e c re a tio n 1 9 8 9 S u m m e r In s tru c tio n a l P ro g ra m

R E G IS T R A T IO N C O M M E N C E S A P R IL 24 0 8 :3 0 ■ 1 8 :3 0 H R S .

C U R R IE

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M O N T R E A L , Q U E .

O F F IC E

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Information: 398-7011 C la s s e s S ta r t W e e k

o f M a y

8

M a k e th is S u m m e r th e tim e to im p r o v e Ia t y o u r f a v o u r i t e s p o r t o r t o b e c o m e a c q u a in te d w ith a c o m p le te ly n e w a c tiv ity . A ll o f o u r c o u r s e s a r e ta u g h t b y e x p e rie n c e d , w e ll-q u a lif ie d in s tru c to rs w h o a re in te re s te d in m a k in g y o u r s u m m e r re c re a tio n m o re f u n a n d Ie n j o y a b l e .

B o th g y m n a s iu m m e m b e rs a n d n o n Im e m b e r s m a y p a r t i c i p a t e i n t h e in s tru c tio n a l p ro g ra m . N o n -m e m b e rs p a y a s e p e ra te fe e a n d th e ir u s e o f th e a t h l e t i c f a c i l i t i e s is l i m i t e d t o t h e d a y s la n d tim e s o f th e ir c o u rs e .

MEMBERSHIP INFORMATION

398-7000

T h e M c G ill I n s tr u c tio n a l P r o g r a m

T e n n i s

E

q u i p m

u ses

COURSE DANCE Jazz I Jazz I Jazz III Social Social OUTDOC Equestrian

DAY

TIME

0830-1000 Mon. &Wed. 18:00-1930 Mon. &Wed. 1930-2100 Mon. &Wed. 1830-2000 Wednesday 2000-2130 Wednesday RSUITS 2000-2100 Wednesday 1600-1700 Friday 1400-1500 Saturday 1300-1400 Sunday 1400-1500 Sunday T.B.A Bordsailing T.B.A Sailing T.B.A Rockclimbing 18:45- 20:15 Friday Kayaking I 0900-1030 Saturday Kayaking II (includesRiverSession) MARTIAL ARTS 1900-2030 Tues. &Thurs.

Tae KwonDo Women's 1730-1900 Tuesday Self Defense VARIA 1200-1330 Monday Golf 17:30- 19:00 Tuesday 1900-2030 Tuesday 1800-1930 Wednesday 18:30- 20:00 Thursday 12:30-1400 Friday 1000-1130 Saturday 1730-1900 Tues. &Thurs.

Yoga 18:30- 20.00 Tuesday Fencing FITNESS 12:15- 13:15 Mon/Wed/Fri. Staff Aerobics' 1800-1900 Mon. &Wed. ActionAerobics 1200-1300 Tues. &Thurs.

Super Fit 1730- 18:45 Tues. &Thuts.

ActionAerobics 1200-1300 Mon. &Wed. LowImpact 1700- 18:00 Mon. &Wed. 12:30- 13:30 Tues. SThurs.

1730-1830 Tues. &Thurs.

1730-1830 Monday Total Workout 17:30-1830 Tuesday 1730-1830 Wednesday 1730-1830 Thursday 1730-1830 Friday 1800-2000 Tues. &Thurs.

Weight Training Individual ByAppointment Weight Training Personal B.yA.,ppointment Fitness Appraisal

COST (M/NM*)

$42463 $*2463 $*2463 $26438 $26438 $75480 $75480 $75480 $75480 $75480 $36448 $170/175 $50472 $30446 $36448 $36448 $36448 $36448 $36448 $36448 $36448 $35460 $35460 $50480 $30453 $30453

$35460 $30/53 $30/53 $30/53 $30/53 $244 $244 $244 $244 $244 $25442 $20428 $40455 ‘StartingJune 19th, StaffAerobicswSbeheldMondayS Wednesdayonly.

RACQUETS $40452 17:15- 18:45 Monday Tennis Intro $40452 17:15- 18:45 Wednesday $40452 18:45 20:15 Wednesday $40452 17 : 15 18:45 Thursday $40452 17:15- 18:45 Friday $40452 18:45- 20:15 Friday $40452 0900- 10:30 Saturday $40452 1200- 13:30 Saturday $40452 1030-1200 Sunday $804100 18:45- 20:15 Tues. &Thuts. $40452 18:45- 20:15 Monday Tennis Inter. $40452 17:15- 18:45 Tuesday $40452 17:15- 18:45 Friday $40452 1030- 12:00 Saturday $40452 1200 13:30 Saturday $40452 0900-1030 Sunday $804100 18:45- 20:15 Tues. &Thurs. $40452 17:15- 18:45 Wednesday Tennis Adv. $40452 1800-1930 Sunday $804100 18.45- 20:15 Wed. &Fri. $36444 1800-2000 Mon. &Wed. Tennis Clinic June 19-June 28 $36444 1800-2000 Tues. &Thurs.

June 20-June 29 $25437 18:15- 19:45 Monday Squash 1730-1900 $25437 Tuesday $25437 18:15- 19:45 Thursday $25437 1000-1130 Saturday

WKS

COURSE AQUATICS REDCROSS Yellow, Orange, Red, Maroon

{Beginners&Jr.) Blue, Green, Grey, White

DAY

TIME

COST (M/NM*)

Tues. &Thurs.

Saturday

1800-1900 1030-1130 1900-2030 1130-1300 1300-1400 1900-2000

$24432 $24432 $36448 $36448 $32440 $30438

Tues. &Thurs.

Saturday (Inters Adv.) Tues. &Thurs.

Resp. endurance) Mon. &Wed. Synchro Swim (begins April24) SwimFit (Canto-

WKS

4<W) 8(C) 4(W) 8(C) 4<W) 6(W)

CERTIFICATIONC URSES - NATIONALLIFEGUARDSERVICES Bronze Medallion $48458 8(C) Class 1800-1900 &Art Resp. Cert. Wed. (plus exam 3 Pool 1900-2100 fee $14) orRedCross While) Intensive Red Cross $854120 5Days (C) 0900-1600 Instructors Course Mon. to Fri. (June5-9) (C) ■Currie Pool, 475Pine Avenue West (W) - Weston Pool, 555BSherbrooke West

SESSION II » July 3 - August 18

DANCE 1800-1930 Mon. &Wed. Jazz 1830-2000 Social Wednesday OUTDOOR PURSUITS 2000-2100 Wednesday Equestrian 1600-1700 Friday 1400-1500 Saturday 0900- 10:30 Saturday Kayaking I VARIA 1200-1330 Monday Golf 1730- 19:00 Tuesday 1800-1930 Wednesday FITNESS 1200-1300 Tues. &Thurs.

Action Aerobics Tues. &Thurs.

1730- 18:30 1200-1300 Mon. &Wed. LowImpact 1730-1830 Mon. &Wed. 1730- 18:30 Monday Total Woikout 1730- 18:30 Tuesday 1730- 18:30 Wednesday 1730-1830 Thursday 1730-1830 Friday Weight Training Individual ByAppointment Weight Training Personal ByAppointment Fitness Appraisal RACQUETS 17:15- 18:45 Monday Tennis Intro 17:15- 18:45 Wednesday Wednesday 18:45- 20:15 17:15- 18:45 Thursday 17:15- 18:45 Friday 18:45- 20:15 Friday 0900- 10:30 Saturday 1200-1330 Saturday 1030-1200 Sunday 18:45- 20:15 Tues. &Thurs.

18:15- 20:15 Monday Tennis Inter.

17:15- 18:45 Tuesday 17:15- 18:45 Wednesday 17:15- 18:45 Friday 1030- 12:00 Saturday 1200- 13:30 Saturday 0900-1030 Sunday 18:45- 20:15 Tues. &Thurs.

17:15- 18:45 Wednesday Tennis Adv. 0900-1030 Sunday 18:45- 20:15 Wed. &Fri. 1800-2000 Mon. to Fri. Tennis Clinic Aug. 14-Aug. 18 18:15- 19:45 Monday Squash 18:15- 19:45 Thursday AQUATICS 1300-1400 SwimFit (Candie- Tues. &Thurs.

Resp. endurance)

$42463 $26438 $75480 $75480 $75480 $36448 $36448 $36448 $36448

7 7 6 6 6 6 6 6 6

$30453 $30453 $30/53 $30/53 $244 $244 $244 $244 $244

7 7 7 7

$20428 $40455 $40452 6 $40452 6 $40452 6 $40452 6 $40452 6 $40452 6 $40452 6 $40452 6 $40452 6 $804100 6 $40452 6 $40452 6 $40452 6 $40452 6 $40452 6 $40452 6 $40452 6 $804100 6 $40452 6 $40452 6 $804100 6 $45455 1 $25437 5 $25437 5 $36448 6(W)

*M=member fee, NM=non-member lee

e n t page 27

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