Volume 111, Issue 7 | Monday, October 25, 2021 | mcgilldaily.com arbiter of cringe since 1911
Queer History Month Issue
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Published by The Daily Publications Society, a student society of McGill University.
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table of Contents
October 25, 2021 mcgilldaily.com | The McGill Daily
Table of Contents 8
3 • Make Gender-Affirming editorial
features •
Being Orbited by My Ex
Healthcare Accessible
10 culture
4 • McGill Queer Alumni Association Launched News
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Queer History Month Wrap-Up EDI Updates for Fall 2021 The Future of Montreal’s Gay Village
AGM &
Call for Candidates All members of the Daily Publications Society (DPS), publisher of The McGill Daily and Le Délit, are cordially invited to its Annual General Assembly:
Wednesday, October 27th @ 6:30 pm Online event (via Zoom)
The presence of candidates to the Board of Directors is strongly advised.
The Daily Publications Society is looking for a Community Representative for its Board of Directors. DPS Directors meet at least once a month to discuss the management of both Le Délit and The McGill Daily, and get to vote on important decisions related to the DPS’s activities. They can also get involved in various committees whose purpose ranges from fundraising to organizing our annual journalism conference series. To RSVP to the AGM and/or to submit en application, visit:
dailypublications.org/agm-2021
Questions? chair@dailypublications.org Application deadline: Friday, Oct. 22, 2021 @ 11:59 p.m.
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Noname’s Radical Hood Library Queer Media List
12 •compendium Horoscopes
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EDITORIAL
Volume 111 Issue 7
October 25, 2021 mcgilldaily.com | The McGill Daily
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Gender-Affirming Healthcare Must be Made Accessible content warning: transphobia, mention of suicide
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n March of this year, the Yukon government passed a gender-affirming healthcare policy considered the “gold standard” for healthcare legislation among trans advocates. The policy extends healthcare coverage to include hormone replacement therapy (HRT), facial feminization surgery (FFS), and voice training, among other gender-affirming procedures. This breadth of coverage is unprecedented in Canada, and although advocates have called for similar policies to be established nationwide, other provinces fall far behind. Despite transition-related healthcare – including feminization and masculinization surgeries – being deemed medically necessary under international guidelines, many provinces restrict healthcare coverage to only include bottom surgery and HRT. In Quebec, procedures such as FFS and breast augmentations are considered “esthetic care” and thus are not covered by the Régie de l’assurance maladie du Québec (RAMQ). Furthermore, the procedures that are covered are only available to Quebec residents: this excludes refugees, recent immigrants, and out-of-province residents from receiving necessary care. Even Quebec residents have difficulty accessing the bare minimum of gender-affirming care: bureaucratic opacity and long wait lists often lead to trans people paying out-of-pocket to receive necessary care at private clinics. For one, the copious paperwork required for gender-affirming procedures is notoriously hard to navigate; healthcare providers themselves struggle with the paperwork so much that they are often unable to assist patients with referrals and completing the forms required to begin HRT. This means that patients often rely on other trans people who have successfully completed the paperwork to walk them through the process, rather than being helped by healthcare officials. Applying for HRT also requires evaluation from a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist, but Quebec’s 20,000 person waitlist for mental health services poses a significant barrier to accomplishing this first step towards HRT approval. Additionally, there are significant financial hurdles to accessing mental health services: at the Human Sexuality Unit of Montreal General Hospital, therapy costs upwards of $200 a month, none of which is covered by RAMQ. Given these bureaucratic and financial factors, individuals seeking HRT often have to wait one to three years to be approved for treatment, according to Action santé travesti(e)s & transsexuel(le)s du Québec (ASTT(e)Q). While McGill boasts of their LGBTQ-inclusive medical services, students also face barriers to getting care at the Wellness Hub. Counselling services at the Hub are known to have long wait lists, and this wait time is exacerbated by requesting an LGBTQ professional. Students have encountered problems with psychiatric care too: one student
claimed that his psychiatrist at the Hub “gave him false information on where he could receive an HRT prescription and failed to complete a referral request.” Prolonging the wait for HRT and mental health services is dangerous for trans people: a study published in BMC Psychiatry found that barriers to gender-affirming care are associated with higher rates of sucide. As such, it is crucial for trans people to have easily-accessible gender-affirming services, both within and outside of the university. Besides the wait times and financial burden associated with gender-affirming care, many trans and non-binary people have experienced discrimination and hostility under the care of mental health professionals. Quebec follows the transmedicalist model of gender-affirming care, requiring a diagnosis of gender dysphoria to undergo gender-affirming procedures. This is an outdated philosophy that subjects trans people to distressing psychological evaluations and excludes those who do not experience symptoms of gender dysphoria. At the Human Sexuality Unit, this means that trans people must “[answer] a host of personal questions [...] in front of a panel of up to nine people affiliated with the clinic.” Rather than developing an informed consent model for gender-affirming care – under which doctors would educate patients about their desired procedures and give them bodily autonomy – the Quebec government is imposing a system where psychological distress secures necessary care for trans people. Gender-affirming care is critical to the wellbeing of trans people – healthcare coverage should reflect that. Quebec needs to adopt a model of care that promotes the wellbeing of trans people by providing them with easily-accessible mental health services and gender-affirming procedures. Healthcare professionals should receive training on trans-sensitive care and be aware of which gender-affirming procedures they are licensed to perform in order to reduce transphobia in medicine. McGill University needs to acknowledge and eliminate the barriers that students face while accessing healthcare. To advocate for trans rights, support groups like ASTT(e)Q and Egale Canada by donating or volunteering. Queer people can also volunteer for the Queer Autonomous Patients Front, which accompanies people to their healthcare appointments. If you are seeking gender-affirming care, reach out to the Union for Gender Empowerment at McGill or the Centre for Gender Advocacy at Concordia – these organizations can direct you to the appropriate services. Additionally, the Centre for Gender Advocacy has crowdsourced a map that catalogues which Montreal clinics have a history of discriminating against trans people. You can also consult ASTT(e)Q’s Trans Health Survival Tool, which includes information on where to receive HRT, gender-affirming surgery, and how to legally change your name and sex designation.
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October 25, 2021 mcgilldaily.com | The McGill Daily
News
McGill Launches McGill Queer Alumni Association
Saylor Catlin News Editor
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his past month, the McGill Young Alumni Association announced the launch of the McGill Queer Alumni Association (MQAA), an alumni network created for queer graduates. “The general aims [of the organization] are providing community to graduates,” Grey Cooper, SSMU Gender and Sexuality Commissioner and co-lead of the MQAA told the Daily, “partly just to create more community and be able to talk about career related concerns, and also for people who aren’t as comfortable in the general associations because of homophobia concerns.” The association will serve to support all students who identify as queer. According to Mike Fan, co-lead of the MQAA, it will ensure that queer identity is approached with an intersectional attitude. “I come from an immigrant ChineseCanadian background and identify as gender nonbinary as well as queer,” Fan told the Daily. “It’s really important to have this community where a lot of the queer and especially BIPOC community The association is supported in the alumni association don’t really have an outlet to congregate by the Subcommittee on Queer and meet each other, and to learn People, part of the Joint BoardSenate Committee on Equity. from each other,” they added. The subcommittee was crucial in facilitating conversation and providing institutional support for the MQAA, according to Cooper. Alongside supporting the MQAA, the subcommittee is engaged with many other advocacy initiatives on campus. Recently, according to Fan, they have worked with IT departments to change McGill’s automated systems so that they recognize chosen names and pronouns. The subcommittee is also spearheading this year’s Queer History Month events, which span from September 29 to October 28. “This is the first Queer History Month which is now recognized by Senate,” says Fan, “so it will be something that will be part of the McGill fabric moving forward.” Apart from advocacy, the subcommittee also creates community on campus: “[It’s] a space where faculty, students, et cetera [can] meet each other, get to know each other, and work together.” The MQAA is further bolstered According to Fan, the creation of the MQAA has been in by the University’s Equity, conversation for a while. “I know Diversity and Inclusion Strategic for myself, for future students Plan (the EDI). Cooper stated that coming to McGill, or alum of the EDI provided a precedent for all different generations, we the association’s creation: “The really have this big impetus to MQAA is [created] to support unite,” says Fan, “and to share students, and the precedent for our experiences, both positive and existing comes from the need for negative, and continue to create there to be support of equity and diversity for students at McGill, positive change moving forward.”
“The MQAA is [created] to support students, and the precedent for existing comes from the need for there to be support of equity and diversity for students at McGill.” - Cooper
Eve Cable | Illustrations Editor especially with institutionalized queerphobia,” according to him. Cooper continued that the EDI provided institutional support and structure for the association, as it “gives a guiding frame for how the MQAA will run so that it orientates itself around equity and diversity instead of prioritizing, for example, white queer people.”
“There’s a lot of concerns when people graduate due to gender presentation or sexuality of how to present themselves in the workforce, or how to network, or even just if people have been very engaged in the queer community as McGill and then move away, losing connections can be hard.” The association also aims to give queer students access to the
“It’s really important to have this community where a lof of the queer and especially BIPOC community in the alumni association don’t really have an outlet to congregate and meet each other, and to learn from each other.” - Fan The association is still determining what it’s going to look like. According to Cooper, organizers are working towards implementing fundraising and mentorship programs within the association, “so that people could talk to a queer person in the field they wish to go into and have mentorship where they aren’t afraid of there being homophobia,” he says. Mentorship would also be aimed at supporting queer alumni post graduation. Cooper says,
wide network of queer alumni. “We have Alum at McGill across the world,” says Fan, “[the goal is] to provide opportunities to engage online, particularly given this pandemic environment, hopefully in-person in the future, and for us to know each other and to provide solidarity for each other in our communities.” As the association continues to grow and evolve, the MQAA will be hosting events. On October 19, they hosted a Meet and Greet event, where leaders introduced
themselves, the state of mandate was presented, and attendees answered poll questions and participated in discussion. According to Cooper, discussion points included the importance of campus or community entities’ involvement, concerns over whether the MQAA should focus on funding initiatives for current students, and if the association should include allies or be a closed space. More events are currently being planned, per Cooper. At the moment, everything will be held online, but the association eventually plans to hold in-person events in Montreal once pandemic conditions are safer. MQAA leaders are currently looking for student and alumni involvement and input on what the MQAA should look like; if you have ideas or request for the association you can contact the Subcommittee on Queer People by emailing queer@mcgill.ca. Queer History Month events will be wrapping up this week; the closing event, a Queer Open Mic with the Opera Queens (an Opera company led by Fan) is happening October 28. “It’s really meaningful during Queer History Month this year that [the MQAA] is actually coming together and being announced and that there are new individuals getting involved,” says Fan. “It really is acknowledging both the queer history that’s coming before us and hopefully the positive queer history coming after us as well.”
October 25, 2021 mcgilldaily.com | The McGill Daily
News
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McGill Celebrates Queer History Month
Programming featured panels, workshops, and community events
Saylor Catlin News Editor
This past month celebrated McGill’s Queer History Month – while students have observed Queer History Month for the past four years, this year was the first to have the month officially recognized by McGill’s Senate. The month is designated to highlight the history and achievements of 2SLGBTQIA+ communities at McGill, and throughout Montreal and Canada. This year’s theme was “Coming Together” – hoping to encourage connection and reflection amid easing pandemic restrictions. From September 29 to October 28, a series of events were hosted aimed at raising awareness, advancing education, and increasing the visibility of 2SLGBTQIA+ communities. The film screenings, panels, workshops, and community events recognized 2SLGBTIA+ history and contributions, and brought together students, faculty, alumni, and other community members. 2SLGBTQIA+ Indigenous Artists Talk This event was held September 23 to celebrate the beginning of Queer History Month in tandem with Indigenous Awareness week. Dillan Chiblow, Anachnid, Pasha Partridge, and Dez Grégoire discussed the future of 2SLGBTQIA+ Indigenous artists’ creative forms of expression, and how they can be used to build community and connection. Community Connections: Sharing and Exploring Queer Identities on Campus On September 27, the Office for Sexual Violence Response, Support and Education (OSVRSE) hosted this workshop for 2SLGBTQIA+ students looking to discuss, share, and unpack the intersections between queerness, identity development, and inperson connections with the McGill community. The workshop was held at the OSVRE office, and was hosted by Wellness Advisor Margot Nossal. Opening Event: Return of the Rainbow Official Queer History Month events started September 29, with the “Return of the Rainbow.” The month was opened by Kawennotas Sedalia Fazio, Mohawk Elder and Founder and Director of the first Sweat Lodge in Montreal. The event is McGill’s homecoming for current and past 2SLGBTQIA+ students, staff, and
Loren Armstrong | The McGill Daily faculty. This celebration was started in 2001, and is an opportunity for queer alumni to return and reconnect with the university and its campus. Keynote: “Diversifying Entomology” This year’s keynote was delivered October 1 by Dr. Jessica L. Ware, an entomologist and curator at the American Museum of Natural History in NYC. She focuses on working with and researching dragonflies, damselflies, cockroaches and termites, along with other insects. In her talk, Ware touched on the complicated history of entomology; while it is a vibrant and exciting science, she said that the discipline is deeply rooted in colonialism. Ware spoke to, however, the many initiatives to diversify and advocate for equity within the field, mentioning groups like 500QueerScientists and Entomologists of Color. The
talk ended with spoken word performances by Powetik, a Montreal based spoken word performer, writer, playwright, and community organizer. “Chat with an Elder” On October 19, participants were invited to partake in an evening of intergenerational exchange and knowledge led by Two Spirit Elder Blu Waters, member of the Métis Nation of Ontario. Those in attendance were invited to ask questions or seek advice from Elder Blu Waters, whose gifts include giving traditional spirit names, hand drumming, house cleansing, song and creative writing, and providing traditional teachings. Zine Making Workshop Held on October 21, this workshop introduced participants to classic zine formats. The workshop was led by Jenny Lin, a Montreal-based visual artist, whose work is often interested
in queer identity and history. Those who attended the workshop were also shown a selection of Lin’s zines, their format and content widely varying. Trans and Non-binary in Academia To be held October 27, this panel will feature one professor and two PhD students discussing their experiences in academia and sharing successes and strategies, followed by a Q&A. This event is a closed space for trans, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming people. Closing Event: Queer Open Mic with Opera Queens Queer and allied folks are encouraged to sign up for and attend this open mic event taking place October 28, featuring a performance from Opera Queens, a Montreal and Toronto-based opera company that puts on queer, gender-bending performers and performances. At the end of the evening, invited Elder
Sedalia will be closing out Queer History Month. Lesbian and Queer Archives Panel On November 5, this panel will discuss the sustainability of digitizing archives, the risk of the “digital dark ages,” and the challenge of sunsetting digital humanities projects. Hosted as part of Disrupting Disruptions: the Feminist and Accessible Publishing, Communications, and Technologies Speaker and Workshop Series, it will highlight the particular challenges that lesbian and queer archives face, as many exist apart from institutions. Several other community-building events were held over the course of the month, such as a watch party and discussion of the rom-com Saving Face on October 6 and a spooky scavenger hunt on October 16. A Halloween crafts and movie night will also be held on October 30, hosted in the Queer McGill office.
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October 25, 2021 mcgilldaily.com | The McGill Daily
News
Revisiting McGill’s Equity Plans One year since release of the AP-ABR
Abigail Popple Coordinating News Editor
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t has been over a year since Principal Suzanne Fortier announced the implementation of McGill’s Action Plan to Address Anti-Black Racism (AP-ABR), based on the Equity, Diversity and Inclusion Plan released in June of 2020. As the AP-ABR is only one year into its five-year trajectory, many objectives have yet to be completed – regardless, the university has maintained several of its commitments thus far. Associate Provost of Equity and Academic Policies Angela Campbell clarified, however, that the plan is only meant to be a starting point for the university: “this is going to be an ongoing effort [...] as long as the [university] goes, there has to be a commitment,” she said during a student press conference. Among the university’s completed objectives is the appointment of Professor Terri Givens as the Provost’s Academic Lead and Advisor (PALA) on the Action Plan. In her capacity as PALA, Givens will lead McGill’s efforts to hire more Black professors for tenure and tenure-track positions and “advise academic leaders (Deans, Chairs, Directors, and Associate Deans) about the distinct needs and experiences of Black faculty.” In this vein, McGill has designated 15 Black faculty members to be added to McGill’s tenure-track positions, according to documents sent to the Daily by McGill’s Media Relations Office. Givens commented that she would like to surpass McGill’s goal of having Black faculty make up 5 per cent of M-Level employees: “My goal is for McGill to become a beacon for people who are interested in the study of the African diaspora [and] Black studies.” The BSN has advocated for the creation of an Africana studies department in the past, but the University has not announced any intention to create a department specific to African diaspora. The AP-ABR also included commitments specific to student experience. The university has succeeded in meeting their first goal in this category with the creation of a student census, which is available for all students to complete via Minerva. Additionally, the university
Tiana Koundakjian | Illustrations Contributor has been conducting monthly meetings with students from the McGill African Studies Society and the BSN to get student feedback on the progress of the AP-ABR, and revise accordingly. To meet the mental health needs of Black students, the university has created two positions in the Wellness Hub. One of these positions has already been filled: a Local Wellness Advisor (LWA) with expertise in the psychological impacts of racism was hired in January of this year. Although the Wellness Hub has previously been criticized for difficulty in accessing mental health services, Campbell says that the Black Student Liaison has not raised concerns in regards to the accessibility of this LWA; McGill
McGill has designated 15 Black faculty members to be added to McGill’s tenure-track positions [...] Givens commented that she would like to surpass McGill’s goal of having Black faculty make up 5 percent of M-Level employees.
reports that the LWA has served 120 students thus far. When asked about how students and staff would be held accountable to the antioppressive mandates of the EDI Plan, Campbell said that the first step in fostering an antioppressive culture is getting people to understand why microaggressions are harmful. “When [microaggressions] occur, the difficulty is often that [...] the community dominant groups don’t often understand why they’re so harmful or painful,” she explained. The university is in the midst of educating professors and administration on the impacts of microaggressions, and the launch of the Office for Mediation and Reporting has created a channel for students to report discriminatory behaviour on campus. Last year, Provost Christopher Manfredi told the Daily that the Code of Student Conduct and Disciplinary Procedures would be a means of reducing anti-Black racism, claiming that most students experience microaggressions from other students. During this year’s press conference, Campbell instead emphasized a top-down approach to combating anti-Black racism which prioritizes educating
faculty and administration. These educational initiatives include the implementation of modules about anti-Black racism. While Campbell said that she does not expect modules to eliminate racism on campus by themselves, she said “it sends a message that it’s important and that we take the matter seriously. [The module] does not by itself achieve [an end to racism].” In discussing the modules, Campbell remarked that It Takes All of Us, McGill’s mandatory online module about sexual assault, has served as an example for other universities seeking to reduce sexual violence on campus. Likewise, Givens said that educational workshops and modules have seen good reception: “I’ve really been kind of overwhelmed with the positive approach that a lot of people are bringing to the workshops.” Campbell hopes that these workshops will encourage professors to adopt more inclusive curricula and pedagogies, another goal presented in the AP-ABR. She also hopes that the University will begin to consider how bias may impact an instructors’ student evaluations – Deans and Department Chairs refer to student evaluations
when considering whether an instructor should be given a tenure-track position, so Campbell wants “to make sure that [instructors] aren’t penalized in a way that’s unjust on account of bias on the part of the students who do the work evaluating them.” The AP-ABR stated that the university would reach a final decision about what to do with the statue of James McGill by the end of the bicentennial year. The Daily asked for clarification as to when the deadline for a decision would be, but the university employees present at the conference were not aware of the specific timeline for this decision. The statue has been removed from campus for the time being due to vandalism, but there is no final decision as of yet. The university has also not created a website to “showcase the presence and success of Black McGillians over time,” as was included in the AP-ABR; instead, the Bicentennial website is pointed to as a space for highlighting the history of Black students and staff at McGill. Additional reporting provided by Saylor Catlin.
October 25, 2021 mcgilldaily.com | The McGill Daily
news
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Analyzing the Past and Future of Montreal’s Most Iconic LGBTQ+ Space
Jaime Kerr The Link
This article originally appeared in The Link, an independent, student-run, not-for-profit multi-media publication at Concordia University in Montréal.
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generational shift away from Montreal’s Gay Village and towards alternative Queer spaces within the city’s LGBTQ+ community has been detected. Julie Podmore, an affiliate assistant professor of geography, planning and environment at Concordia University, has uncovered this shift in “Far Beyond the Gay Village: LGBTQ Urbanism and Generation in Montréal’s Mile End”. Conducted in 2013, Podmore’s research recently appeared in a chapter she wrote for the book The Life and Afterlife of Gay Neighborhoods: Renaissance and Resurgence (edited by Alex Bitterman and Daniel Baldwin Hess). The process involved interviewing younger LGBTQ+ Montrealers who migrated from the Village to places like the Mile End. Participants noted several common reasons for their abandonment of the Village. Principle among these was the perception that the Village had become a commercialized and homonormative space designed for white cis gay men. Overall, many participants preferred frequenting areas like the Mile End, where more fluid definitions of gender identity and sexuality were widely accepted. Podmore explained that such perceptions are likely reactions to the process of mainstreaming that has altered the Village over time. Gentrification and developing the Village as a tourist destination has pushed out many queer elements and spaces, save for those dedicated to cis gay white men. For instance, rising rents resulted in the closure of famed lesbian bar Le Drugstore in 2013. The Bourbon Complex, an entertainment centre
long seen as central to the Village’s nightlife, closed less than a year later in 2014 for the same reason. Podmore added that homonormativity and commercialization in the Village were not always the norm. “I would say that the Village was made by cis men for sure. It was a gay space.” Podmore said. “But in the ‘90s, all over the western world we start to see gay villages start to diversify.” According to Podmore, this period saw the introduction of lesbians and other queer groups into the Village. A development that coincided with the emergence of a more unified LGBTQ+ identity among said groups. “My generation of queers was kind of a combination of trans, gays, and lesbians that saw themselves as one community in a way, and the Village was their meeting place,” she added. The forces of commercialization that have grown over the past few decades eroded this strong sense of community that initially made the Village a haven for such a wide variety of groups. “All of those forces really transformed the Village,” Podmore added. “All of the lesbian bars that were there, not that there were ever a lot, got displaced eventually. The mainstreaming process kind of erases that specificity.” The founder of FEMTL – a community space for trans women and transfeminine people in Montreal – has also observed this generational shift away from the Village. “I spend a lot of time talking to trans people, mostly aged between 20 and 35, and none of them feel represented by the Gay Village” she said. The founder said she noticed a stark difference between how she was treated in the Village before and after her own transition. She noted that while some exist in the Village, the vast majority of venues and events are not inclusive of cis/trans women or non-binary people. “Now that I’ve transitioned and live openly as a woman, there doesn’t seem to be any
Jaime Kerr | The Link space for me in the village,” she added. “Worse, at night, I am more likely to be identified as a gay man in drag than as a trans woman, so that also makes me feel very uncomfortable.” Elise, a trans woman who has frequented the Village, explained that it remains less inclusive of the Trans Community than alternative spaces such as the Plateau or Maisonneuve. “The entire purpose of the Village seems outdated to me. Not because we’re over LGBTQ+-phobia in Quebec as some white gay men will tell you, but because I and other trans women can lead normal lives in most of the city.” they said. “The Village feels pretty unsafe for me to be in, so it’s a bit paradoxical to even consider it an inclusive space.” An anonymous source told The Link that they felt excluded from the Village despite belonging to the Asexual community. “The Village is heavily geared towards the G in LGBTQ+” they said. “All of the shops with barely clothed men in suggestive poses on display look weird to me, borderline tacky even. I don’t feel the Gay Village is a place where I am welcomed, or where I
feel I belong.” Village Montréal is a commercial development corporation that represents the majority of the Village’s businesses and artistic programming. It released a manifesto last October detailing its plans to make the Village a more inclusive environment for all members of the LGBTQ+ community. Efforts outlined in the
“At night, I am more likely to be identified as a gay man in drag than as a trans woman, so that also makes me feel very uncomfortable.” manifesto include dropping the word “gay” from the Village’s official name, and initiating training programs designed to educate the employees businesses in the Village on
inclusivity and anti-racist/ anti-homophobic, biphobic and transphobic attitudes. Olivier Lapierre, media relations consultant for Village Montréal said that plans to implement training policies have been hindered by the pandemic and financial hardships. “We did offer a lot of training sessions to our members, but the priority was towards economic recovery efforts and actions,” Lapierre said. “When labor stabilizes and businesses are doing better, we will be able to launch this specific training effort.” According to Podmore, investing in social and community services could revitalize the neighbourhood’s relationship with LGBTQ+ Montrealers. “I think [such investments] might make [the Village] much more attractive to a wider diversity of LGBTQ+ people and make it a more meaningful place,” she said. “If there’s nothing gay specific, if there’s no reason for LGBTQ+ people to gather there, then the chances of it having an identity as a queer space are not very likely.”
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FEATURES
October 25, 2021 mcgilldaily.com | The McGill Daily
Being Orbited by My Ex When the Stars No Longer Align
Hà Dong Features Contributor
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y breakup in 2017 was the main reason why I decided to vanish from social media. I did not wish to be reminded of the digital spaces of this “thing” which I am still not sure was a “relationship.” In truth, my ex and I never acknowledged this whole thing as a formal bond; it was in a perplexing grey zone, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself that I was in a “real relationship.” The empirical spaces and memories of love were transposed onto screens of nostalgia, loving memories, and painful WhatsApp chat logs. In moments of despair and loneliness, I would find myself orbiting around all these sites of love and its aftermath. It took me a while to remove all the pictures of my ex and I and our text conversations. I spent three years overcoming the heartbreak and tracing the root causes of why I had acted the way I did. My attachment style and the ways in which I express my feelings have more to do with how I was raised – lovingly and neglectfully. Hence, resolving my childhood traumas was a monumental task in my own therapeutic journey, leading to my vanquishing of self-hatred, my return to my roots and family, and eventually my coming to terms with my gender identity. I needed silence, both on social media and interactionally in real life, to eloquently evoke my healing journey.
Iovine defines “orbiting” as “close enough to see each other; far enough to never talk.” Earlier this year, I came back onto Instagram with a new account to share my experience with transitioning and taming dysphoria, one weight plate at a time. In creating my own safe space I have found a profound sense of self-validation and self-confidence. Certainly, I still have many things that need improvement and certain
Viola Ruzzier | Staff Illustrator things to get off my chest, but I have been feeling better in my own skin. Nevertheless, I have been noticing a familiar username watching my stories from time to time over the past few months. We do not follow each other, and her account is private. She must have found me through the algorithm or through a friend of mine. The username would drop by my profile every three weeks to see what I was up to. Initially, I did not mind, because who has not “stalked” their ex on social media, whether covertly or overtly? At the first sight of the familiar username, I thought to myself “hmmm okay, maybe it’s just a single occurrence,” so I moved on with my day and put my focus elsewhere. Yet, every now and then, the same username resurfaced and I started asking myself questions. There were feelings of surprise and confusion, and, as an academic, an urge to hypothesize and theorize human behaviours (scholarship can come from personal experiences, after all). Should I make my account private?
Should I block the user? Why does she care after all these years? Why does she show up when the memories of her are just now sitting quietly in the drawers of my own personal historical archive? Why didn’t she show up when I was at my worst, drenched in substance abuse and on the verge of suicide three years ago? Why now and not then? How and where do ex-lovers draw their boundaries? What is the name for this behaviour? Even though I have a public social media account, have I ever consented to being “stalked?” Professor Google offered me some interesting insights. I stumbled upon Anna Iovine’s 2018 Repeller article “Dating Trend: Orbiting Someone is the New Ghosting Someone,” which discusses the phenomenon of “orbiting.” The author recounted their experience with a romantic prospect who had stopped communication altogether after the second date, yet proceeded to watch every single Instagram and Snapchat story that they had posted. Iovine later found out that they were not the only
one encountering this situation, but their friends, too, had gone through similar circumstances with social media. Iovine defines “orbiting” as “close enough to see each other; far enough to never talk.” Indeed, social media creates a fertile ground for new modes of anthropological analyses and observations, as well as for a more nuanced study of human behaviours. Social media and social media interactions weave a series of interesting dialectics: distance and proximity, nostalgia and amnesia, accessibility and restriction. There exist different hypotheses on why we orbit. Human behaviours cannot always be explained by “rationality,” for we are also emotional creatures; we experience emotions culturally in contact with other humans. There are feelings, feelings about feelings, about things, about people. Sometimes, we look back on our failed experiences and think about the “what ifs.” There is regret, there is gratitude, and maybe bitterness, too. It is natural to wonder about
past romantic partners and fancy who they have become and how they have grown (or not). This is a valid mode of questioning and I am not against natural human curiosity and imagination. What bothers me is the passage from thoughts to actions; my ex has the audacity to type my Instagram username in the search bar and look me up. Iovine came up with three hypotheses for the phenomenon of orbiting. The first is about making a power move, which is a subtle way for the orbiter to signal to the orbited that they are still around and consider the orbited a prospect to come back to, despite the lack of physical engagement in real life. The second hypothesis questions whether the orbiter is aware of the repercussions of their orbiting, which I say is the least applicable in my case, considering how technologically knowledgeable my ex and I both are. My ex probably knows that I know that she watched my stories. The last hypothesis relies on the “fear of missing out,” or FOMO, which has been entrenched by social
FEATURES media and interactions taking place in the digital realm. Social media embodies a labyrinth of spectacles that mediate human interactions through appearance and consumption, often leading us to unhealthy comparisons and ignoring class divisions and the visceral intrusion of capitalism into our private lives. As a tech-savvy, young person with social media accounts, I am undeniably guilty of letting FOMO take control of the steering wheel, by posting pictures of my workouts, food creations, rants, and by following other users and taking a glimpse into their curated digital portfolio. I would like to add another hypothesis which focuses on coping mechanisms and finding closure. Perhaps orbiting is a way for my ex to deal with loss and engage with the dialectic of amnesia and nostalgia and her own politics of remembrance. We originally liked each other, after all, and went through different moments of mutual support, mutual respect, friendship, and companionship. To lose these important elements of human connection can engender a profound sense of loss of one’s identity and meaning of one’s existence. However, if this is the case, I hope my ex is receiving support to find ultimate closure and embark on new and meaningful relationships. I genuinely hope that she is doing well. I have chosen to prioritize my mental health, and hopefully she has chosen to value hers, too. Admittedly, I used to wonder about my ex, especially in the immediate aftermath of the breakup. I have had my fair share of regret and bitterness; I did this first love wrong in so many ways. I was naive and too idealistic, I was communicating too much, yet never to the point. I turned my ex into an idea, instead of treating her like a person, and that was dehumanizing. Eventually, I spent less time with the memories of her, and concentrated more on myself and my recovery. I stopped looking for her on social media and in text messages, and started looking within myself, looking for myself, looking at myself. Deleting social media accounts was a revolution that I did not know I needed, a courageous act of creating healthy boundaries. Shifting my perspective also entailed shifting my gaze from seeing only this person and the crumbled world which we had built together, to rebuilding myself and my foundations. But reading and writing about orbiting have made me reflect on the “relationship”
October 25, 2021 mcgilldaily.com | The McGill Daily dynamics between my ex and I. Scarily enough, it was the same dynamics in the aftermath of the breakup; because we were in the same classes, same department, same program, and wandering the same corridors and spaces, there was always a (false) sense of proximity. Yet, simultaneously, we were also drifting apart in our own mourning; she made new friends, whereas I was alone and crying on the bathroom floor.
issues, but I wonder why she is committed to seeing me on my social media. Although we have parted ways and are no longer accessible to each other in real life, social media forges a new avenue for us to “interact” rather unilaterally. Reminiscent of how she had the boldness to suggest the possibility of a purely physical relationship a month after our breakup, her orbiting behaviour seems to be an extension of the “thing”
free” connection with me. A “relationship” free of all emotional attachment and full of one-sided feelings. Interestingly, the physicsbased definition of an orbit refers to a regular, repeating path that a spatial object – the satellite – takes around another one – usually a planet or a star. The satellite goes forward and will keep doing so, yet the gravity of the star/planet also pulls it in, thus creating a tug-ofwar between the forward-going satellite and the star/planet that does the pulling. A perfect orbit happens when the forces of inertia and gravity between the two objects are balanced. For the orbit to fail and for the two spatial objects to drift apart, the pulling star/planet must cease its pulling and the satellite must not be pulled into the gravity of the star/planet. Otherwise, gravity will cause a collision I remember my ex saying which we shared, in which she between the two and lead to a that she had commitment maintained a “commitment- massive catastrophe.
I have had my fair share of regret and bitterness; I did this first love wrong in so many ways. [...] I turned my ex into an idea, instead of treating her like a person, and that was dehumanizing.
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I have stopped gravitating towards my ex and pulling her back into my universe a long time ago, just as I have moved forward in my own lane. There is no use in falling into old gravities when the stars no longer align. The emotional hardship through which I have gone is now a powerful emotional resource for me to write a better story (still a work-in-progress!) than my previous stories, and my ex no longer has the privilege to be part of this better story. Her privilege ended when our story ended. And for as long as I walk this Earth, there will be many other better stories not yet told and written. I am the satellite that has advanced on my own path, and a planet that has stopped pulling the strings. Maybe I have become a wandering star. Maybe choosing to “block” her is a testament to my moving on.
Viola Ruzzier | Staff Illustrator
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October 25, 2021 mcgilldaily.com | The McGill Daily
culture
Queer Media List
Our editors share their favourite LGBTQIA+ books, movies, TV, and music! TV - Work in Progress season 2 The new season of Work in Progress is another beautiful series from Abby McEnany, executive produced by McEnany, Tim Mason and Lilly Wachowski. Following the life of Abby, a self-identified ‘fat, queer dyke’, the show navigates the aftermath of a queer relationship ending, and the protagonist’s struggles with mental health. Bonus points for its handling of pandemic themes in a non-cringey way. — Eve Cable, illustrations editor FICTION - Notes of a Crocodile by Qiu Miaojin The cult classic by Qiu Miaojin follows anonymous lesbian narrator Lazi as she navigates love, friendship, and loss throughout university life in late 1980s Taipei. With a fascinating ensemble cast through a series of diary entries and vignettes, Lazi navigates the intricacies of queer coming-of-age. Notes of a Crocodile is profound and poignant, a deeply unforgettable read. — Nicole Huang, managing editor PODCAST - Dyking Out
Dyking Out is a podcast about lesbian and queer life hosted by Carolyn Bergier and Melody Kamali. The podcast invites new guests each week as the hosts unpack a new gay topic - I’d recommend “Sorority Life w/ Sophie Santos” , which has a good look at the question ‘are queer women especially drawn to sororities?’ I’d also recommend “Shiva Baby w/ Emma Seligman” for a really interesting unpacking of the film! — Eve Cable, illustrations editor NONFICTION - The Deviant’s War: The Homosexual vs. the United States of America by Eric Cervini In 1957, Frank Kameny was fired from his US Defense Department job after his employers discovered he was gay. Kameny took his bitterness and resentment and turned towards advocacy. During the next decade, he would put most of his energy to found the groundwork for the gay liberation movement of the 1960s. In this meticulously researched book, Cervini relays Kameny’s story with searing precision; through letters, firsthand interviews and testimonies, FBI documents, we get a poignant glimpse into the hostile odds that he was working against. The Deviant’s War brings justice to Kameny and his life’s work, shining light on an untold yet essential part of queer history. — Olivia Shan, culture editor FILM - Big Eden
Big Eden is the perfect watch if you want to enjoy a heartwarming, conflict-free film about queer love. The romance between Henry and Pike is sweet and moving, with all the delightful conventions of your favourite rom-com. The small town scenery, loveable characters, and big romantic gestures will leave you smiling long after the credits roll. —Pandora Wotton, coordinating editor
October 25, 2021 mcgilldaily.com | The McGill Daily
Culture
11
Noname’s Transition from Rapper to Librarian
Meena Thakur Culture Contributor
O
n October 2, Chicago born rapper Noname opened the Radical Hood Library. This new establishment serves as the headquarters of The Noname Book Club—a virtual and in-person community dedicated to uplifting BIPOC voices. Each month, the book club features two books written by authors of colour. This month’s picks are Blood Child by Octavia E. Butler and My Sister, The Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite. To discuss the books, book club members gather online or in free in-person meetups at 12 local chapters. In addition, the Noname Book Club launched its Prison Program in 2020 which allows incarcerated individuals across the United States to be able to read the club’s monthly picks. On their website they explain, “we believe reading is a critical part of liberation and developing solidarity. The Prison Industrial Complex is working incredibly hard to erase members of our community and we feel we have to work even harder to counter their effort.” Currently they have about 750 incarcerated book club members to whom they are sending free books monthly. The library was created specifically to service Black and brown people, and is stocked with books dedicated to the Black experience. The free library includes sections on prison writings, global Black resistance, class organizing, among others. Noname tweeted that her favourite sections of the library are “Fuck The Police (abolitionist text)” and “Black Capitalism Won’t Save Us.” The book club’s patreon explains that their “goal is to one day open physical library locations in every black hood across the country.”
Eve Cable | Illustrations Editor Noname, AK A Fatima Warner, began writing poetry after taking a creative writing class in highschool. She spent time as a teen in the YOUMedia lab, a Chicago Public Library initiative that emphasizes project-based learning led by mentors to empower teens to create various forms of art, along with other famous Chicago musicians such as Chance the Rapper, Saba, and Mick Jenkins. In 2016 she released her first album, Telefone , for free on Bandcamp. The album is centered around important telephone conversations she has had growing up. Her soothing voice explores Black pain, particularly that of Black women. Using money she
The library was created specifically to service Black and brown people, and is stocked with books dedicated to the Black experience. The free library includes sections on prison writings, global Black resistance, class organizing, among others.
So, how did Noname earned from touring and g uest transition from performing at appearances on projects by Coachella in 2018 to creating a Chance the Rapper, she paid for free library in 2021? her next album Room 25 (2018).
This smartly constructed, wordplay-filled album explores her triumphs and failings as she rises in fame. Noname does not shy away from her faults, but instead humbly accepts and learns from them. Warner’s former stage name had racial connotations. She later became aware of these implications, explaining in an interview her ignorance as a teenager and her need to do more research. She further explains her moniker; “for me, not having a name expands my creativity. I’m able to do anything. Noname could potentially be a nurse, Noname could be a screenwriter. I’m not limited to any one category of art or other existence, on a more existential level.” Noname could also be a library owner. By not defining her profession from the beginning, Noname has allowed herself to transition to anything she is passionate about. Part of that freedom comes from keeping a lower profile. Noname rarely does photoshoots or brand deals, telling the Rolling Stone, “I don’t like doing things that I know are going to build on my celebrity because that’s not ethical to me when I’m trying to be anticapitalist and also trying to present myself in a specific way.” Her disinterest in fame is clear when she announced in November of 2019 that she would no longer be making music. In
now deleted tweets, Noname explained her disillusionment in performing to predominantly white crowds, saying “I refuse to keep making music and putting it online for free for people who won’t support me.” Another tweet included a photo of a woman wearing clown makeup with the caption: “Me consistently creating content that is primarily consumed by a white audience who would rather shit on me than challenge their liberalism because somehow liking Lizzo’s music absolved
So far Warner has only released the single “Rainforest” from her album. She explains that her new album will be more radical, informative, and solution-oriented than her previous ones. Beyond her music, she encourages her musical fans to support her book club through donations and buying merchandise. While she does contend with the fact that she could produce more music to raise money for the book club, she wants to focus on what she is working on now.
“I don’t like doing things that I know are going to build on my celebrity because that’s not ethical to me when I’m trying to be anticapitalist and also trying to present myself in a specific way.” them of racist tendencies.” She further expressed distress over the unhealthy relationship between the artist and the fan. At the time she stated that “I’m just tryna read and organize” and that her upcoming album Factory Baby will be her last. Despite the tweets now being deleted, she has made no further announcement about the future of her music career.
From the beginning of her artistic journey, Noname has never confined herself to one medium of expression. She explores the Black experience through her poetic lyricism and actively supports her community through her book club and new library. Noname exemplifies the journey from creating art as self expression to using her fame to give back.
October 25, 2021 mcgilldaily.com | The McGill Daily
compendium!
12
HOROSCOPES Aries
Taurus
Gemini
(Mar 21 Apr 19)
(Apr 20 May 20)
(May 21 Jun 20)
No goblin ever ate his wife. You would do well to remember this.
You will have good luck related to the number 3 this week. Or for the next 3 weeks. I’m not sure. let me know which ends up happening.
Be considerate towards octopuses this week. Your efforts will be well rewarded.
Cancer
Leo
Virgo
(Jun 21 Jul 22)
(Jul 23 Aug 22)
(Aug 23 Sept 22)
Consider getting a cactus. One of those small fuzzy ones maybe. It’ll keep you company.
On the bench, the goat lives; under the bench, the goat dies. Think carefully about your seating choices this week.
Draw something. If you’re happy with it, good things will happen to you this week. Like, for example, drawing something you’re happy with.
Libra
Scorpio
Sagittarius
(Sept 23 Oct 22)
(Oct 23 Nov 21)
(Nov 22 Dec 21)
Snails will point you in the right direction this week.
Learn how to say a random sentence in a language you don’t know. It’ll come in handy sooner than you think.
Take a few minutes to look at the moon tonight (assuming there is one. I don’t know. What am I, an astrologer?). The moon is pretty.
Capricorn
Aquarius
Pisces
(Dec 22 Jan 19)
(Jan 20 Feb 18)
(Feb 19 Mar 20)
Take a moment to do something strange. Bake a pie. Mix cornstarch and water. Press your nose against your window until someone outside notices.
This week, try to count all of the blue pens you see someone using. That number is your lucky number for next week.
Eat something good. Good food is important. What’s even better is if you can get someone else to pay for it.