vol102iss35

Volume 102, Issue 35

February 21, 2013 mcgilldaily.com

McGill THE

DAILY

Clammy since 1911

Published by The Daily Publications Society, a student society of McGill University.

page 8

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The tradition continues, panels and discussions with professionals from the world of media, here at McGill. Watch out for further announcements!

le délit

NEWS 03 NEWS

Protocol described “too vague” by students Val Napoleon addresses students on Indigenous law

06 COMMENTARY A field guide to activism Tibet and the politics of resistance The Daily complains too much

08 FEATURES Broughton Hill: a short story

10 HEALTH&ED The underground orgy Empowering future female engineers

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CULTURE

Geneviève Castrée’s new graphic novel The MainLine hosts student theatre

mcgilldaily.com

Hannah Besseau The McGill Daily

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KUT kicked off its 11th annual Homelessness Marathon on Wednesday.

Members of the campus community radio station set up a live broadcast in the snow outside the Native Friendship Centre as homeless members of the community geared up to speak on air.

The marathon was broadcast live on 35 stations across Canada.

The marathon, which ended at 7 a.m. Thursday, aired 14 hours of non-stop content in order to provide an opportunity for homeless people to share their thoughts, stories, and experiences with other members of the Montreal community. Hosting was shared with 12 other stations across the country. This year, about 75 per cent of the content was produced in Montreal.

A vegetarian community dinner was served inside the Native Friendship Center during the broadcast.

The marathon strives to open a dialogue on the realities of homelessness and poverty.

“So often we completely ignore the existence of homeless people. In this mindset of ignoring people, it makes them feel like they don’t belong to our communities. I think that’s quite clear in peoples’ lives and mainstream society,” Candice Cascanette, CKUT’s homelessness marathon coordinator, told The Daily.

“Media is an awareness-raising tool and it’s important that we make space for these voices we don’t interact with on a day-to-day

EDITORIAL

What Bill 14 would mean to you

16 COMPENDIUM! Overheard in the publishing industry University grants ATI requests

Homelessness Marathon hosts take on-air calls outside. basis,” she added.

One participant, who chose to remain anonymous said: “I’m here because I think it’s a good idea, it’s a good event. I have an opportunity to share my experiences. I don’t often get the chance to do that, to interact with society.”

The marathon began in 2001 after squatters were evicted from the Préfontaine squats, close to the Lucien-L’Allier metro station in St. Henri. Gretchen King, who was CKUT’s community news coordinator at the time, befriended a member of the street community, which led to her spearheading the homelessness marathon, modeling

it after a similar project in the U.S. About 3.5 million Canadians currently live in poverty, with this number growing every year.

In Montreal, the homeless advocacy group le Réseau d’aide aux personnes seules et itinérantes de Montréal (RAPSIM) estimates that there are around 30,000 people living on the streets, yet there are only an average of 720 shelter beds available on any given night.

Around 13,000 people have no fixed address in the city.

The government’s role in the state of homelessness in Canada was a prevalent topic in the marathon.

“I feel like the government

Photo Hera Chan | The McGill Daily

doesn’t think about us, here on the streets. Or at least, I don’t see any changes. More and more of my friends live on the streets here,” a person who lives on the street told The Daily.

However, Cascanette said that the marathon does not have any direct goals to affect government policies.

“As far as demanding political action, we aren’t an advocacy group, we don’t have demands we’re promoting. But we are raising awareness and talking about how homelessness is a multifaceted issue that needs a political response as well as a societal transformation,” she said.

Philosophy students create autonomous association Accreditation would give PSA more control over activities Juan Camilo Velásquez The McGill Daily

The Savoy Society’s Iolanthe

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CKUT launches 11th annual Homelessness Marathon

An interview with Ben Caplan Fundamentalism in context

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Montreal’s homeless broadcast across the country

Controversy over PGSS executive elections Senate discusses McGill’s financial future

The McGill Daily

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he Philosophy Students’ Association (PSA) incorporated last Tuesday, becoming the first departmental association with its own bank account at McGill to be recognized as a nonprofit organization.

Incorporation is the first step toward accreditation which, if achieved, would turn the PSA into an independent organization in the eyes of the University and the provincial government.

The PSA is currently a departmental association under the accredited Arts Undergraduate Society (AUS).

According to PSA President Jonathan Wald, the organization is seeking accreditation to obtain more control over its finances.

“It would give us more freedom to run the activities we would like to on a more speedy basis, without much of the red tape. It would also reduce the workload on the AUS, and as we have seen over the past year the AUS has had trouble with its audits,” Wald told The Daily.

The process began last October after the AUS announced its intention to internalize all of the departmental associations’ bank accounts, on the advice of its financial auditors in order to comply with their Memorandum of Agreement (MoA) with McGill.

“The two alternatives were:

either the AUS further internalizes us, which we saw as complicating things with more red tape, or complete externalization, if you will, which would be accreditation,” Wald said.

The Accreditation Act requires the PSA to obtain 25 per cent of undergraduate Philosophy students to approve the accreditation.

If the PSA receives accreditation, it will also have to negotiate its own MoA with McGill.

Deputy Provost Morton Mendelson told The Daily that at this stage, “there are other steps that remain in the process and it would be premature for [the administration] to comment right now.”

Philosophy students would continue to pay AUS fees and would

remain members and receive the services of the AUS regardless of whether or not accreditation is obtained.

AUS VP Internal Justin Fletcher told The Daily that the society is waiting for the accreditation vote, and the University’s response before commenting.

“When I sat down and talked to Justin Fletcher last [semester] about PSA accreditation, his worry was that if student associations started to [accredit themselves]…if they start to be more autonomous from the AUS, that the AUS could lose some of its relevancy,” Wald said.

“I think it’s in the AUS interests’ for the PSA to remain represented in AUS Council meetings.”

The vote on the accreditation is set to begin on March 11.

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NEWS

The McGill Daily | Thursday, February 21, 2013 | mcgilldaily.com

Controversy surrounds graduate student executive elections Conflicting bylaws, timetable source of disputes Lola Duffort The McGill Daily

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he basement of Thomson House erupted in a shouting match last night between several graduate students and their society’s Chief Returning Officer (CRO), Brock Rutter, during what was originally scheduled to be a debate between candidates in PGSS’ upcoming executive elections.

“You people are ridiculous. You aren’t fit for this university, you aren’t fit for society,” Rutter said as he walked out of the meeting amid chants of “Hey, hey, ho, ho. The CRO has got to go!”

Rutter was hired by the Post Graduate Students’ Society (PGSS) to oversee their elections of next year’s executive and a vote to accredit the PGSS as the representative of graduate students to the provincial government in a March referendum.

At the time of the debate, the society’s Appeals Board was convened in an emergency meeting to consider whether or not to postpone the executive elections, and the possibility of Rutter’s termination as CRO. The Appeals Board released a report late that same night stating that the CRO had “acted correctly and without error,” but that “in the light of conflicting and confusing language” in the bylaws, the election nomination period would be

extended to February 28 and the elections postponed accordingly.

The Board meeting was called following a series of emails between Rutter and PGSS Equity Commissioner Gretchen King, in which King requested that Rutter extend the election nomination period.

According to the Society’s Activities Manual, the PGSS electorate will be notified of “an extension of the nomination period for one week for any position attracting one candidate or less.” Because all five candidates – including three incumbents – were running unopposed, King argued that an extended nomination period was required.

However, the report released by the Appeals Board notes that this section “does not purposively refer to actual extension of the nomination period, rather it refers to the communication of such an extension should it take place.”

The manual reads elsewhere that the nomination period will be extended “in the event of no nominees for the candidacy of any elected position.”

Rutter told King that there were “conflicting” bylaws, and while he welcomed any nominations she knew about which were underway, he “could not spend any more time on this right now,” and the election schedule would remain unchanged.

When King insisted that the process be re-opened and advised Rutter that she would be recom-

PGSS executive candidates field questions. mending his termination to the Appeals Board, Rutter sent an email to King which read, “Please check your email security settings. I am afraid you might have been hacked as it seems some asshole is sending emails from your accounts.”

The PGSS Board of Directors will meet next week – if not earlier, according to PGSS SecretaryGeneral Jonathan Mooney – to decide whether or not Rutter’s email would merit termination.

Rutter told The Daily he had decided not to reschedule the elections both because of the cost and inconvenience, but also because

Photo Laurent Bastien Corbeil | The McGill Daily

he was under the impression that it was imperative for the society to hold its referendum by March 15 – the final date set by the provincial government for accreditation votes.

The timetable for the elections has been changed once already, and moved forward a week – after a different date was publicized to the electorate – when the Society’s executive realized that the schedule would put them behind the government’s deadline. A new election schedule was then publicized.

According to Mooney, the executive had originally decided not to split the accreditation vote and

the executive elections into different referenda to encourage voter turnout, though the Appeals Board decision will mean that they have no choice in the matter.

“You want to minimize the number of times you ask people to vote,” Mooney told The Daily. “With the exec elections, there’s sort of a baseline [turnout] that you already have to build on.”

In order to be recognized by the government, accreditation requires that 25 per cent of the electorate votes “yes” to accreditation. PGSS traditionally gets about half that much – if not less – in terms of turnout.

McGill $200 million in the red by 2015 Cutting admin salaries would be “symbolic,” Masi says Laurent Bastien Corbeil The McGill Daily

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rovost Anthony Masi warned at Tuesday’s Senate meeting that the University’s accumulated deficit could nearly double to around $200.8 million by the 2015 fiscal year as a result of the government’s cuts to university operating grants. McGill would be hit the hardest in 2014: its deficit is set to grow by 33 per cent in a single year, according to a report presented by Masi.

The government told the University that it will withhold $32 million in grant money if the

University fails to cut $19 million from its budget by the end of fiscal year 2014.

“This is clearly a devastating picture from the point of view of managing our University,” Masi said.

“For anyone to argue that McGill or universities in Quebec aren’t underfunded is just ridiculous.”

The report outlined several strategies that would allow the University to meet their new budgetary constraints. These include targeted cuts, reduced headcounts and salaries, and a reduction in raises coupled with attempts to increase revenue through higher enrolment.

“There’s bound to be some effect on courses, number of cours-

es taught, and the support given,” Masi said. “We can’t make a commitment now that some things are totally a sacred cow. Some of everything will have to be cut, and some will be hurt more than others to protect the core mission.”

“We want to protect the quality of that mission, but the quality of life surrounding it will have to be affected. I don’t mean to be cute on that,” he added.

Principal and Vice-Chancellor Heather Munroe-Blum noted that salaries and benefits constituted 75 per cent of McGill’s core operating expenses. Pension plan liabilities, post-retirement liabilities, and pay equity were also highlighted as “on-going pressures” to

the McGill budget in the report.

The idea that students could hold a referendum to decide whether to increase tuition or the amount they pay for services was floated at the meeting. Masi thought this would be a good idea.

“Go for it,” he said.

Senator Graham Bell of the Faculty of Science expressed concern over a decrease in the quality of services and said that his faculty could lose nearly “75 per cent of its TAs.” “Our mission in research and teaching should be protected, the damage might not be obvious, but it may be real,” he said.

Asked if administrators’ salaries might be affected, Masi said

that targeting those expenses would be “symbolic.”

“The last time there was a cut was in 2009, and everyone took a cut,” he said. “If all administrators took a 5 per cent cut, it would barely amount to a quarter of a million dollars.”

A more detailed plan should be available sometime after the government’s summit on higher education, planned for February 25.

“When will we know? We’re working day and night on a bunch of scenarios, we’re looking at all the options but I don’t think it would be fair to come up with a plan without hearing what the town halls, focus groups, have to say,” Masi said.

news

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The McGill Daily | Thursday, February 21, 2013 | mcgilldaily.com

Students slam protest documents at consultation session Protocol criticized as too vague Michael Lee-Murphy The McGill Daily

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uring the consultation session held on Wednesday in the Faculty Club, a handful of students described the administration’s protest protocol documents as being too ambiguous.

Student associations, professors, and unions on campus have been echoing this sentiment for some time with regard to the language in the “Statement of Values on Freedom of Expression and Freedom of Assembly” and the “Operational Procedures” documents.

“Clarity” was the watchword at the second of two consultation sessions hosted by McGill’s senior administrators about the documents – a revised version of the University’s protocol on campus protests.

Senior administrators, along with members of McGill’s legal team involved in drafting the protocol, heard from the six students who attended the consultation that terms like “inconvenience,” “intentionality,” and “intensity” needed to be more clearly defined in any future versions of the protocol.

Lydia White, McGill’s associate provost in charge of policies and procedures admitted as much, saying that “as a linguistics professor, there are some problems of ambiguity here and we may need to revisit those terms.”

The six students, along with several student journalists, were split into two discussion groups, one moderated by Dean of Students Andre Costopoulos, the other moderated by White, along with Deputy Provost Morton Mendelson and McGill’s chief lawyer, Line Thibault.

The session’s two discussion

Photo Hera Chan | The McGill Daily

groups further concluded that a clearer link should be drawn between the administration’s new Statement of Values and its proposed operating procedures.

The two documents stemmed from the re-examination of the original protest protocol, following widespread condemnation from campus unions, as well as the Canadian Civil Liberties Union.

There were no representatives of campus unions present, despite having organized a protest against the protocol in January.

Lilian Radovac, president of

AGSEM – the union representing Teaching Assistants and Course Lecturers – said that the union had made a decision not to attend.

“Given that the university intends to bypass Senate and include some aspect of the protocol in the operating procedure, we see no reason to participate in consultation sessions. [Consultation sessions] won’t change that outcome,” Radovac said.

Central to discussions at both tables was whether or not campus protest should be allowed to “obstruct” or “disrupt” the way the university functions. Summarizing

the discussion he moderated, Costopoulos said that the central problem was one of thresholds and how low they should be.

According to the students in his group, he said, the current threshold outlined in the operating procedures – of allowing members of the university to attend to their normal activities on university premises, free from disruption – is too low.

The University’s protocol on campus protest was written in response to the several-day-long occupation of the James Administration building just over a year ago.

Asked if building occupation was a legitimate method for voicing student grievance, both Costopoulos and Vice-Principal (Administration & Finance) Michael Di Grappa said that it was, under certain circumstances. Di Grappa specifically referenced the importance of considering the rights of those who work in administration buildings.

White, one of the protocol’s authors, declined to definitively state whether or not the tactic was legitimate, saying that it may not be in places “where you’re preventing business from being done.”

Val Napoleon speaks on Indigenous law Addressing law as a way to challenge power relations Queen Arsem-O’Malley The McGill Daily

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Before we begin, I would like to take a moment to acknowledge that we are on Mohawk territory and to thank them for allowing us to have this event on their lands,” began Allan Vicaire, Aboriginal Sustainability Project Coordinator at the Social Equity and Diversity Education (SEDE) office, as he introduced Val Napoleon to a crowd of almost forty people in the Arts building on Tuesday.

Napoleon, Law Foundation Professor of Aboriginal Justice and Governance at the University of Victoria, was at McGill as part of SEDE’s Indigenous Education

Series.

Napoleon’s talk on Indigenous Citizenship and Law touched on issues of using Indigenous systems of law as a way to challenge, rather than perpetuate, damaging power relations and oppressions in communities.

Napoleon connected the idea of citizenship – for which she used political philosopher James Tully’s definition of “complex practices of freedom” – to Indigenous peoples’ status as citizens of both the Canadian state and their respective nations, and the need for citizens to productively challenge their relationship to governing bodies.

A traditional story told by Napoleon entitled “The Origin of the Wolf Crest” was used to explain the role of storytelling in practices of Indigenous law. “Stories are

about being tools for thinking, about being spaces for conversations,” she said. The story demonstrated the ways in which gender relations, power relations, and ideas of inclusivity and membership play themselves out in groups.

Napoleon also explored the idea of “law as a process, not law as a thing.” Through this she presented a broad conception of law in which there are processes for solving human problems, discussing outcomes, and setting precedents. She called for the need to have an intellectual community to interpret Indigenous law to create “spaces to have conversations about power.”

During the question period at the end of her talk, Napoleon addressed the importance of the

Idle No More movement. “I guess what I’m interested in with [Idle No More] is that there has to be a way for people to move past the criticism of what’s wrong, to constructively be able to engage,” Napoleon said. She applauded the movement for its ability to touch the lives of Indigenous peoples regardless of their previous political engagement.

Vicaire was pleased with the turnout at Napoleon’s event, as there were students from a wide range of faculties. “One of my mandates is to do a pan-university initative,” he said in an interview with The Daily. “With Indigenous issues, most students [normally] come from Anthropology, History, and Law; I want to reach students from Computer Science

and Engineering,” a goal that he felt had been met on Tuesday.

Prior to her talk, Napoleon conducted two workshops in the Faculty of Law and participated in a luncheon with students at the First Peoples’ House.

Napoleon was the first of three speakers in SEDE’s Indigenous Education Series. Upcoming guest speakers will address issues of colonialism and state dependence and inequalities faced by First Nations children. Vicaire said that students and partners, such as the First Peoples’ House and Indigenous Access McGill, help him find speakers. These partners, as well as individual faculties, often help SEDE pay for bringing these guest speakers to the University.

commentary

The McGill Daily Thursday, February 21, 2013 mcgilldaily.com

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Illustration Amina Batyreva | The McGill Daily

A field guide to activism The whats and wherefores of trying to change the world Mona Ciel Through the Looking Glass

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ast weekend’s demonstrations against the Salon des ressources naturelles – referred to by its critics as Salon Plan Nord 2.0 – set the stage for another spring of demonstrations and heightened activism this year.

As the province grapples with budget cuts, resource extraction, pipelines, and the highly contentious upcoming education summit, McGill is debating cuts to Arts classes, investment in fossil fuels, military research, ongoing labour negotiations, and a protocol on demonstrations that has been denounced far and wide. With these issues and more already on the table, activists of all stripes will be taking the opportunity to make their point of view heard and try to affect the decisions that are made. Whether you are interested in participating, standing on the sidelines, or actively organizing something yourself, as we move into this season of debate and protest it can be useful to understand what different tactics can be used by activists and what their various purposes are.

The following is a short field guide to identifying various strategies for activism, including definitions, and examples of tactics used to achieve them:

Education Education can be useful when the change you want to see can be achieved through individual behaviour (for example, getting people to no longer make hurtful comments and assumptions about a marginalized group), or as a way of getting more people to participate in some other form of activism. This sentiment is often expressed as: “If only people knew about this, they’d be outraged!”

Unfortunately education, though useful, is rarely an adequate mechanism for change in and of itself.

Examples: Social Justice Days; the SSMU Equity conference; teachins such as Climate Justice Montreal’s one-day conference on the Line 9 pipeline last month; informal conversations among friends.

Research Activist research can serve to uncover information that would be useful for educational purposes, so it is often paired with the kinds of tactics described above. Sometimes research can serve to develop alternative solutions to the ones being proposed; at other times, it can be useful for developing more effective strategies for activism. Finally, people like Aaron Swartz make the mere ability to do research and have access to information the central point of their activism.

Examples: The investigative journalism done at The Daily;

the Independent Student Inquiry into November 10, 2011; Access to Information requests filed by students, faculty, or staff; the work of the Community University Research Exchange (CURE).

Advocacy Advocacy involves working within a decision-making system to convince someone to make a decision you would like to see. This can include educating them, suggesting alternative solutions, or, in the case of elected officials, using the threat of losing votes in the future. It can often include a show of numbers, suggesting that ‘the people have spoken’ on an issue. In a labour relations setting, the process of bargaining for a collective agreement includes similar elements.

Examples: The petition submitted by Divest McGill to McGill’s Committee Advising on Matters of Social Responsibility (CAMSR) to divest from fossil fuels; large permitted rallies intended to show support or opposition to a cause; participation in the upcoming summit on education.

Pressure tactics These are some of the most misunderstood tactics in the activist toolkit. I use the term ‘pressure tactics’ instead of the not-quite-synonymous term ‘direct action’, because it lays the strategic aim of these tactics right out in the title. The goal of

employing pressure tactics is to put pressure on a body that has the ability to make the change you want: in other words, making it so costly not to make that change that they are forced to cut their losses and concede. That may sound harsh, but keep in mind that many of the most serious problems in the world are not caused by ignorance but by greed and self-centeredness. Many activists turn to pressure tactics only after having exhausted other means, but when those other means have been tried and failed, pressure tactics become necessary.

Because of the system we live in, the kind of pressure applied is almost always economic. A labour strike causes economic pressure by depriving an industry of its labour, while a boycott of a toxic corporation hurts them by cutting their revenue and profits. Blockades and intentionally disruptive protests shut down key economic interests or simply reduce a workforce’s ability to get to work, lowering productivity and thus the government’s likely tax revenue. Even an action like Divest McGill’s Valentine’s Day break-up with the oil industry puts economic pressure on McGill by threatening to tarnish their reputation.

Although more visible forms of attack on productivity are often singled out by the media – things like property destruction that costs money to repair, or people chaining themselves to equipment in order to

halt work – in fact, all pressure tactics are sabotage. The purpose of pressure tactics is specifically to make business as usual impossible. So impossible, in fact, that one is forced to deviate from it permanently. Only then can whatever change activists are working toward be assured.

In conclusion, then, I just want to draw attention to the sorts of activism that are permitted under McGill’s proposed Statement of Values and Principles and the operating procedures that accompany it. Education and advocacy seem to be okay, so long as the proper tone of civility is maintained and it all occurs within acceptable channels. Research, though not prohibited by the Statement, is coming under attack through McGill’s motion to deny students’ Access to Information requests. Pressure tactics of any sort, however, are explicitly prohibited, not just by the operating procedures but by the guiding principles themselves, which set out to protect people’s ability to carry out the activities of the university. This is, in fact, a ban on all effective protest and by extension a ban on making any change the administration does not already agree with. Are we willing to put up with that?

In Through the Looking Glass, Mona Luxion reflects on activism, current events, and looking beyond identity politics. Email Mona at lookingglass@mcgilldaily.com.

commentary

The McGill Daily | Thursday, February 21, 2013 | mcgilldaily.com

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A burning issue Tibet and the politics of resistance Swathi Sadagopan Commentary Writer

“Where ever there is oppression, there is resistance” —China’s statement at the Shanghai Communiqué, February 28, 1972

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n the four decades that have passed since the Shanghai Communiqué, when China and the U.S. agreed to “renounce and reject hegemony in the Asia-Pacific region,” many of the dynamics in Asia have changed. A one-time warrior community that inhabited the highlands of the Himalayas has now become a diaspora community in exile scattered all across the globe.

To the millions of Tibetans that live outside of Tibet, returning to their homeland remains a difficult yet attainable dream.

Despite the retelling of the history of Tibet in mainstream Hollywood movies (such as Seven Years in Tibet), this story remains one that is not well understood.

February 13, 2013 marked the centennial of the 13th Dalai Lama declaring the independence of Tibet. Since 2009, 102 Tibetans have self-immolated themselves as a sign of protest against the oppression they face inside of Tibet. After all, the Chinese did get it right – here is indeed resistance when there is oppression! Over 6,000 monasteries that the Tibetans consider places of higher learning have been destroyed. Lhasa, the holy capital city of Tibet and the seat of the Dalai Lama, has become an army base for stationing military troops.

(Of course, these ‘facts’ cannot be completely verified, as the media

in the People’s Repbulic of China (PRC) is under the tight leash of the Communist Party of China.)

When Mohamed Bouazizi, a fruit seller from Tunisia, set himself on fire, the act resonated across the Arab world. This one act of despair started a chain of events that we now know as the Arab Spring. Many months later, the world still recollects the incident. But the world does not extend the same logic to Tibet; I refuse to accept this state of apathy.

History has proved time and again that the seemingly impossible can become a reality. The fall of the Berlin Wall, and subsequent disintegration of the Soviet Union, is a good example. The value of the tactic of self-immolation is questionable; it is our duty to ensure that these lives are not lost in vain. The monks, nuns, and other people who have burned to death resorted to it as a tool to draw attention to the worsening state of affairs in Tibet. That the selfimmolations have peaked over the last year is an indicator of how dire things are, but also Tibetans’ perseverance. The example of India’s freedom struggle is a lesson in tenacity and non-violence that gave Gandhi to the world. Very recently, the successful incorporation of Palestine as a non-member observer at the United Nations sends encouraging signs. We need to extend this empathy to the Buddhist nation.

In his book, China’s Water Warriors, Andrew C. Mertha highlights the increasingly important role played inside China by nongovernmental organizations that have started policing and influencing the decision making process.

This is a trend that is on the rise and definitely heartening. The role of civil society in bringing about social

change by influencing general public opinion and support for intervention cannot be stressed more. The Tibetans are peace-loving by nature and have drafted a ‘middle way policy’ for resolving their dispute with China. The middle way policy recognizes Tibet as an autonomous state under Chinese suzerainty. Although this is a tricky stance to negotiate, it is symbolic of the Tibetan willingness to resolve this long-standing conflict. A free and neutral Tibet is important politically, economically, strategically, and environmentally – not just for Southeast Asia but for the world at large.

There are several grassroots campaigns such as International Campaign for Tibet (a Washington, D.C.-based lobby group), Students for a Free Tibet (a network with over 640 chapters of students rallying for the cause of a free Tibet) and non-governmental organizations such as Machik (which works with the Tibetan community inside Tibet to improve their quality of life).

Instead of silently watching, we can choose to act – here and now. Your action could even be just learning as much as possible about the Tibetan cause and disseminating it. Indeed, wasn’t it an excited conversation among a group of people (mostly students), who cared about changing the world, that started Occupy Wall Street – or closer to home Idle No More?!

Swathi is a Master’s student in electrical engineering who spent a summer in Dharamshala, India living with the Tibetan community-in-exile while working for the Central Tibetan administration. For those interested in some action or conversation, write to mcgill.sft@gmail.com.

Illustration Erica Gregor

Stop only focusing on the problems The Daily should also look at solutions Austin Lloyd Readers’ Advocate

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fter briefly flirting with positivity in my last column, I suppose it is time I get back to your regularly scheduled programming and return to complaining, as usual. And so, the subject of this week’s complaints will be…complaining.

Well, sort of. I suppose “complaining” makes it sound more petty than I want to sound, but it suits my rhetoric. See, when social justice is involved, I’ve noticed a tendency at The Daily to trot out statistics showing inequity in society, and then blame it on distant power structures.

Articles such as “This institution is still too white,” (Editorial, February 7, page 15) and “Too few women and minorities in leadership roles, report says” (News, February 16, page 3) do just this, leaving the reader with the sense that something should be done; but there is little discussion of what specifically we, the readers, can do about it.

Obviously, all of these articles have just causes for complaint. There are too few women in math and physics departments, as well as in the faculty and administration – largely due to institutionalized sexism. But, at the end of the day, many articles published in The Daily will lead the readers to that same conclusion. For me, the issue is just that – we spend

a lot of time drawing attention to the negative (which is not bad in and of itself), but often neglect the discussion of potential solutions.

In the recent news piece “Too few women and minorities in leadership roles, report says,” the author provides good information about discrimination in the workplace – but, let’s face it, the presence of institutionalized racism and sexism in the world of business isn’t exactly groundbreaking news in and of itself.

So, instead, let’s talk about solutions.

How can we work to change this state of affairs? Or, if we can’t directly change the way that things are, let’s talk about the people who are trying to: the organizations working to bring more women into the physics

department, minorities into university administration, et cetera.

Pieces that only focus on the problem, without mentioning the solution, tend to push the responsibility onto some sort of distant actor. When The Daily editorial board calls for the administration to take a “top-down anti-racist agenda that confronts hiring policies, career advancement, and curriculum reform,” it puts the sole blame for this situation on the administration, ignoring other actors who may be involved, and larger structural problems in society that might be the cause of an overly white faculty.

A more solution-oriented approach to the issue might have taken a look at some of the societal issues at play

and discussed ways in which we, the students and primary readers of The Daily, can affect the matter.

Spreading awareness is an admirable goal. But discussing the same issues week after week without touching on the potential solutions or, better yet, the solutions that are already being put in place, makes the messages less powerful. It looks as if we are merely complaining, rather than seeking to affect meaningful change in society.

Readers’ Advocate is a twicemonthly column written by Austin Lloyd addressing the performance, relevance, and quality of The Daily.

You can reach him at readersadvocate@mcgilldaily.com.

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BROUGHTON HILL prose by Eliot D’Silva illustration by Amina Batyreva

“Ain’t nobody different. You know just what you’re missing.”

—How To Dress Well, “Talking to You” [Total Loss, 2012] To You, Your sister called me when you were away. One rainy evening in a rainy month and when I saw her name, as it was ringing, I didn’t recognize it straight away because it was her full name, and besides I’m not sure if she’d ever called before or even if we’d spoken on the phone except for snatches when I’d called your house, and it was her who’d answered (“Oh yeah, hi, I think he is. Hold on. Hi, by the way.”) So when I realized who it was, I wondered if there was something wrong, and when I answered her voice was kind of shaky and remote, but normal and at ease in what she said. She said that she’d been passing near my street to get back from a friend’s who lived nearby when suddenly the rain started again and she’d got caught in it, without a coat. She’d taken shelter in the nearest bus stop but no bus went to yours and she was freezing so could I maybe give her a lift home, if I was there and free, and had the car? To me it seemed a strange favour to ask, and her, though she apologized a lot, a strange person to ask it. I remember when you and me and her and her best friend had all gone to the beach, and she’d refused to take even a sweater, and had walked for miles and miles in what was almost sleet and still denied being cold, through purpling triumphant lips.

But still, of course I said I’d come and get her, and went out and did. I saw her in the doorway of the bus stop leaning against the mossy, flaking wood not even properly out of the rain. We hadn’t met in nearly half a year and she looked well, pretty and self-possessed, but when I pulled up, got out of the car, ran out across the road to say hello (shoes splashing awkwardly, clutching my hood) I saw why she had wanted a lift home because she was already soaking wet. You know when people say wet through? As if a human body can get waterlogged, as if we’re permeable, like thick cloth under extreme conditions (rainy spells)? Well that’s what she was like, but cheerful with it. A watery grin under a streaming fringe. I drove her home and on the way we talked: about your absence, her school, and the way the days were getting shorter. She got out, thanked me, but didn’t ask me to come in and ran off without looking round, leaving a dark wet shadow on the other seat. So that was that.

By the time I came home my parents had got in, and when I said where I had been, and that I’d seen your sister, they asked fondly and vaguely after her and you. But then a few days after that she called again, as I was leaving work. At least I recognized the name this time. I thought perhaps she wanted to say thank you but actually she barely said hello, only my name polite and monotone and “could I come and pick her up again?” just like that. No weak jokes or explanation. I asked her where. She said again she was only a street or two from where I lived. And, why’d she even want a lift this time? It wasn’t raining. She said she was tired and thought as well she’d maybe sprained an ankle and would I mind? She asked me that so bluntly it took a moment’s thought for me to answer. Just, would I mind – and then an awkward silence. And then I said of course, I’d come right now. By then I was already in the car. Now, I know what you’re more than likely thinking, so no, this categorically is not a drawn-out selfaggrandizing confession about me liking your sister. No, I never

did. It’s much stranger than that. Hold on and listen.

When I found her there leaning against the fence of someone’s garden where she’d asked me to meet her, first I thought that she was standing in a shadow – then I realized that it wasn’t that: the reason that she seemed darker than what was around her was that her clothes and hair were dripping wet just like before, but now it wasn’t raining. She had a puddle round her, and I said she looked like a drowned rat, but she just shrugged and looked away and got into the car. I asked her where she’d been – she said, the woods on Broughton Hill, and when I asked what happened she acted like she thought I meant her ankle and started going off on a long spiel about how she had just slipped off the pavement and how stupid it was, the awful way that clumsiness creates pointless connections. I had to interrupt to ask again and as I asked I knew she wouldn’t answer. She looked at me, halfsurly, half-amused and arch. I suddenly felt really old.

We drove along in silence for a while. The body experiential is a car. The radio is memory. Wheels are sense. Lust is, of course, the engine (think Bruce Springsteen). These heavy, awkward silences, like airbags – pneumatic prophylactic, sitting there inert and unpredictable – attend on health and safety but my mum once said when they expand too fast they blow your ear drums. So anyway, we sat there for a while until I gradually started to think she really wanted me to ask again. But I felt stupid pressing her like that, the same question three times, so I at last stared at the mirror and asked again, the other question that had been echoing around my head. “So what goes on at Broughton Hill?” She stopped, just for a second, playing with her seatbelt, then started up again “Oh well, you know, some people from my school go there to drink and so on.” Pause.

“It’s really nice up there. I’ve got this friend who’s like obsessed with it.” Of course I know the place. Do you remember how certain people just seemed drawn to it?

Though I myself was never one of them I’ve always lived nearby and been on walks – picking my sanctimonious way among the cigarette packets and bottles – now and then. It struck me then as funny that your sister was old enough to make herself a part of all that leafy rough arcadian grunge. How quickly they grow up etc.

By that time, we were nearly at your house. I’d only got the time for one more question. So just as we were slowing down, I asked, “How come your phone’s not broken?” “Sorry, what?” “You called me on it half an hour ago. So how can all your clothes get that wet and your phone still be working?” We had stopped and turning now to face her, I could see that she was actually struggling not to laugh. Well maybe after all it was quite funny how quick I was to step into the role of being scared and clumsy and concerned, making pointless connections. She got out without replying, but before she went she turned and leaned back through the open window like a bad actor in an eighties film and said, “You take it out when it’s your turn.”

I didn’t see her for the next few weeks. Meanwhile, the mornings started getting icy, the evening even shorter – it was dark already at half four one Saturday near Christmas, when I looked out of my window and saw her standing there across the road. She flinched away the minute that she saw me and started walking fast and guiltily. I’ve no idea how long she’d

been there for. I went downstairs, putting on my coat and shoes and went out in the cold, following her. She turned the corner as I left the door, and I ran after her, but waited there, peering around my neighbour’s metal fence, keeping her in my sight, but at a distance, then crept behind her down the frosty street with that type of exaggerated stealth you get in old cartoons and children’s games. I tailed her like that as she went on down empty icy residential pavements toward the main road, left along the verge, and headed up the footpath to the bridge that spans the road and leads to Broughton Hill.

Here, a few cars roared past to break the silence but I could hear her footsteps on the grille that lets you see the road beneath your feet. I saw her hurry down the other side and vanish in the trees. Now was it weird for me to be there, on the edge of town, stalking a younger girl effectively, not knowing why? Well, maybe. You tell me. But there I was, and so I followed her over the bridge (which I’ve always been scared of – we had a game the traffic was piranhas swarming in an impossibly fast stream) and headed down the path. I couldn’t see her. She’d got too far ahead and it was dark and though the woods are small, they’re big enough to be seen to be a different place at night. I started walking up the hill, but then I saw a light from further down the slope and headed down toward it. I smelled smoke – a bonfire – and I heard distant voices that rose and laughed, then suddenly fell quiet. I thought I heard them saying, “three two one,” then silence. I walked on a few steps more and now could see the fire through the trees and people by it stood completely still, two people.

I crept closer and still closer til I was near enough, between two trees, to see their faces in the flickering light. I caught my breath.

Your sister wasn’t there, and first I thought I’d come to the wrong place. This couple stood there, holding hands, not moving, teenagers. They were standing by the pond that gathers at the bottom of the hill, staring intently down, and then I saw that of the two, although the girl seemed fine, the boy was shivering badly. In the dark it took me half a minute to work out why he seemed smaller, darker than he should – his face and hair and clothes were soaking wet. His gappy teeth were chattering so badly it took a while to hear that they were counting. “Hundred and four, hundred and five, hundred…” And then I saw what they were looking at, a pale shape that floated in the pond. I’ve heard it takes about ten minutes to drown. I’ve no idea how long I stood there for. Holding my breath and staring through the branches, “Priapus in the shrubbery,” on and on, while her clothes spread out round her like a bloom, until I couldn’t take it any more. One step toward them was enough to end it.

I thought she would be grateful. After all, it’s what she must have wanted all along. The game was getting out of hand, and I had no choice but to act the voice of reason bursting out of the bushes, crying out a garbled warning. She came spluttering up and dragged herself around, gasping, to the bank. The others took one look at me and ran, and I can see them terrified and scornful but more; I can still hear your sister’s voice. “You fucking cunt what are you doing here? You fucking fucking boring cunt!” She’s got a real mouth on her, your sister. Apparently, in ancient Greece, the youth would cut their hair short when they came of age and dedicate the infantile tresses to the spirit of the local river, a naiad.

features

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Health&ed

The McGill Daily Thursday, February 21, 2013 mcgilldaily.com

Sex and an orgy

i0

Warning: This article contains potentially triggering material regarding explicit sexual activity and violent sexuality.

Emery Saur All that Naked Business

N

o kissing. No finger fucking of the vagina or anus.

No anal. Cumming only between the collarbones and the pelvis. Must change condom between vaginal and oral insertion. Bukkake* only at the end of the activity.

“Have fun and amusez-vous bien.”

I first became aware of the selftitled “gang-bang activity” scene when Ben, who readers might recognize as the man featured in my “Sex and exhibitionism” (January 24, page 11) column, asked me if I’d like to go to an event with him. I said yes, and he cordially forwarded me an e-invite, complete with pictures of a naked woman, prices (single male $100, male/female couple $20, single female free) and RSVP information. In the end I went with a friend, Kate, the Multimedia editor at The Daily, instead.

The “bang” took place in a deserted building near metro Beaudry, the glass door monikered by a depiction of a generously bosomed woman in silver spraypaint. Confirmation codes at the ready, we buzzed.

Three floors later, Kate and I found ourselves standing in a renaissance-themed BDSM dungeon.

There were heavy red velvet curtains over the windows, swords on the walls, masks, chaises, chairs, end tables, candles, chains, a cage, and some Star Wars helmets. There was a mural of a woman in a corset with a knowing smile, and a wing extending from the far wall partitioned by another strung-up velvet curtain, behind which we could see a massage table. There was a mattress in the middle of the room, complete with fitted sheet. We opted to sit in front of the fireplace, on a plastic-covered piano bench directly facing the mattress. Behind us the mantle held a golden helmet, too small for a human head, with eye screws. Five clothed men were already there; they either avoided eye contact or smiled politely at us. Some of them had drinks.

The “star”, Eva, and her boyfriend, Jesus, sat nearer to the foyer, holding hands and talking. She seemed very relaxed, and smiled at us too.

Despite the fact that we were late, the activity had yet to start. Men kept coming in, and soon about 12 men of different ages lounging on the couches and chairs. A male/female couple entered, the man in an orange beanie and the woman in a dress and heels; they sat in the corner to our right, partially obscured by the cage. Finally, the man running the venue stood up, and introduced Eva and her rules. She wanted a woman to undress her, and the other woman obliged, slowly removing her white lace top to reveal a black bra and her white skirt to unveil black underwear.

Those, too, came off, and she was left in her heels. The other woman kissed her a little, tweaked her nipples, and went back to her corner.

Eva looked around, and sat on the edge of the mattress, facing her boyfriend. There was a moment of tension until, suddenly, a naked man emerged from the massage wing, walking quickly, and dove forward, face-planting into her vagina. It had begun.

Some spectators slowly removed clothes. Most were a little hesitant, but eventually penises were out and masturbation was happening. Men began to approach Eva, and soon it seemed she’d reached a maximum of six participants. It was a little crowded.

The fact that the organizers purposefully chose to call the orgy a “gang-bang” is unsettling. The term is often associated with a use of force or the overpowering of a subject for purely sexual purposes, and is frequently broadcast in conjunction with the word “rape.” This, naturally, evokes negative connotations, and Kate and I were both privy to this etymological phenomenon. The moniker deeply coloured our anticipations, and we expected to see dark sexual impulses emerge; we were prepared to feel at least superficially violated.

But neither of these things occurred.

Further down the line, the room was a flurry with dicks batting back and forth, and a clothed man made his way through them to us. He wanted to make sure we were comfortable. He said that Eva and Jesus were swingers, and that this was her first “gang-bang.” He answered some questions and then left to check on Eva. We both became increasingly comfortable and increasingly bored.

Kate left and got pizza.

As I sat alone on my plasticencased bench, a man approached me, fully naked except for his black dress shirt, which was unbuttoned.

He was a frequenter of orgies, but he said he preferred events with more women. “I like to kiss a woman, touch her skin – have it take a while. This feels rushed [...] [a situation with] more women [is] more fun, but when it’s like this and there are more men, it’s hard to get in there.” He gestures to the men kneeling around the mattress waiting, and then to himself. “As men we look stupid; look at me in my shirt.”

I told him that he didn’t look stupid, and that everyone was just comfortable with different things. “Maybe,” he said, “but we look stupid.”

“Call Me Maybe” began to play, and Eva had a dick in her mouth, two in her hand and one in her vagina. My shirted friend (hereafter referred to as Paul*) sat down.

“The best things are house parties, in [the suburbs], in the afternoons [...] Monday, Wednesday, and then Friday and Saturday night.” The clientele there, he said, are a mix of prostitutes and swinging couples. He likes it better when the women aren’t there for money, but for pleasure. “It’s this joy; you can tell she’s thoroughly

Illustration Catherine Polcz | The McGill Daily

enjoying all these lives and all the joy she’s giving them.”

“Gang-bang” is commonly used in the sex circles where the activity itself takes place, and though the bang does sometimes include BDSM and perhaps even fantasy rape scenarios, it doesn’t always.

Yet for newcomers with an interest in group sex, or for those who just hear the word in passing, it can denote an expectation of violence that is not necessarily accurate, or, if it is, that is still stigma tized because it’s not interpreted as consenting.

Kate walks back in (done with her pizza run), and Paul jumps up and moves away.

“Whistle” by Flo Rida is playing, and Jesus joins the frenzy. The room gets quiet as they work Eva up to a screaming orgasm. Everyone seems incredibly relieved that she’s climaxed, and Kate and I felt better too. She takes no down time, though, and immediately grabbed two waiting penises.

Paul, now shirtless, had made it into the inner mattress circle, and was the first to visibly cum. As he

spouted semen over her right breast, I felt a surge of pride for him. He broke the bukkake barrier and two other ejaculations followed, both within the designated area.

At this point, after Eva’s orgasm and the bukkake, Kate and I felt like we’d gone pretty full circle, and decided to leave. We gathered our backpacks, shook hands with the coordinator of the event, and left to debrief in a Presse Cafe down the street.

Later on, a friend of mine postulated that perhaps the reason it’s called a “gang-bang” is because this elevates the level of taboo, and renders the event more sexually exciting. Or perhaps it’s a reclamation by the liberated of a previously repressive concept.

Regardless, Eva was consenting and in charge at all times, and no one controlled her body. We’d both been nervous to witness this possibly violent activity, but instead our voyeurism had provided us with a very romantic interpretation of sex.

And though the “bang” was initially overwhelming, it was an un-immediate, surprisingly desexualized interpretation as well. It truly was a

low-impact experience, and now it simply seemed odd that Kate and I had even gone this long without seeing other people have sex.

As people who are still young in our sexualities, Montreal sets a phenomenal stage for fostering continued growth and discovery in a supportive environment. Heretofore, I’ve yet to take part in the city’s more advantageous offerings, but they abound, sometimes even closer than we think.

There was a McGill orgy thread trending on Reddit recently, and, joke or not, there’s potential there.

The next day I went out and got a brazilian wax, inspired by Eva and her sexually liberated self.

Afterward, I walked the long way home, humming “whistle baby whistle baby there we go-o-oh.” *the act of two or more men ejaculating onto the body of another person, rather than within an orifice All that Naked Business is a column on sex. Reach Emery at allthatnakedbusiness@mcgilldaily.com

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The McGill Daily | Thursday, February 21, 2013 | mcgilldaily.com

Photo Hera Chan | The McGill Daily

Launching catapults against male dominance Engaging young women in engineering Sula Sidnell-Greene Health&Education Writer

“

I think only a few of us already know what we really want to do when we’re in high school,” says Rana Nasrallah, an executive member of Promoting Opportunities for Women in Engineering (POWE). Now a U3 Chemical Engineering student, Nasrallah is helping to ensure young women know exactly what their options are in the field of engineering. Nasrallah helped organize one of POWE’s largest events of the year at McGill: “Conference for Future Women Engineers,” a daylong conference held last Friday

for 93 young women in high school and CEGEP, with an aim of encouraging young women to pursue a career in the field.

The conference kicked off at 8:30 a.m. with icebreakers followed by a professional panel.

The keynote speaker this year, Teena Fazio, is a McGill alumna who has worked for the past ten years as an engineer in the mining and metals industry. The day included lab tours around campus, a catapult-building competition, and a panel featuring a female student from each specialized field of engineering offered at McGill.

Each student spoke about their experiences and the choices that

led them to choosing their specific discipline, followed by a question and answer period. Panelist and Mining and Materials Engineering student Padina Suky was asked, “Are your parents happy you’re in mining?” She answered by saying it took two years to convince them, but added, “Now that they see that I am happy, they’re happy.”

With the associated social stigma of females entering the field, and a current underrepresentation of women in engineering, the presence of groups like POWE are more important than ever. According to the 2012 McGill Enrolment Report, women comprised only 24.5 per cent of incoming engineering stu-

dents at the university. Across Canada, women make up an even smaller percentage. According to Engineers Canada, only 17.7 per cent of students enrolled in undergraduate engineering programs were women – down 2.9 per cent from 2001.

For Nasrallah, POWE is great not only because it encourages more women to enter the field, but because it also offers more opportunities for women already in engineering. For instance, POWE hosted a speed-networking event where professional female engineers were invited to network with female engineering students in order to foster relationships in the greater community. POWE has

a large presence in the engineering faculty at McGill and works throughout the year to facilitate various events.

The existence of female role models and mentors in engineering are vital in encouraging more young women to enter a field that is traditionally male dominated.

Events like the Conference for Future Women Engineers encourage the deconstruction of traditional gender roles related to the workforce. I was not the only person inspired by POWE that day – the smiling faces of the 93 young women participating spoke for themselves, as they actively changed how we see the field of engineering today.

culture

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A life in pictures Geneviève Castrée’s autobiographical graphic novel Daniel Woodhouse Culture Writer

“

I wonder if it is possible for a sadness to be passed from one generation to the next...” writes Geneviève Castrée, in her latest graphic novel, Susceptible, as a naked depiction of herself walks across the pages. In the book, she begins as a baby, and grows into adulthood alongside an innocuous-looking plant that soon envelops her and forces her to the ground, overwhelmed. The story that follows is an autobiographical retelling of her early life (with names changed) that makes you wonder about the answer to exactly that question.

We join Goglu, a two-year-old child of separated parents. She lives in Quebec with her mother, Amère, who, having borne Goglu at a young age, now struggles to make ends meet and enjoy a life as a young woman alongside dealing with parental responsibilities. An antagonist looms in the form of Amer, Amère’s boyfriend, who becomes a divisive figure in the relationship between Goglu and her mother, and becomes an increasingly unsympathetic figure as the story unfolds.

Fittingly, amer and amère both mean “bitter” in French.

The narrative is formed out of collections of incidents, recollections, and reminiscences. The

small details of suffering come alive on the page: Goglu’s rucksack full of toys is stolen on a train journey; she’s sent on lonely trip to the pharmacy in freezing weather for her hungover mother; she eats her cereal with water instead of milk.

The sense of location is faultless. Whether it is the underlying language politics of having a francophone mother and anglophone father, or simply the Montreal metro maps that appear in the background of a frame, wider events creep into the context of her life, from the École Polytechnique shooting to an arson attack on Saint-Jean-Baptiste Day. Some of these events don’t seem to have significance in the wider context of the story, yet most fall in thematically, and all serve to root the reader in the place and time.

In an email interview, The Daily asked Castrée about the importance of location in her work, as well as how things have changed since left Canada (she now lives in the Pacific Northwest of the United States). “I wanted to make a book that gave a fairly good idea of what Quebec felt like in the eighties and nineties, from the French side of things. In the past my stories have taken place in weird dreamscapes, and that was mostly due to me being sort of lazy and unruly. I found it more fun to draw whatever I wanted. But since I wanted Susceptible to be as real as it could, I made myself study pic-

tures of the locations linked to my childhood memories.”

“I have lived away from Montréal for a long time now. I think the move [that changed] the nature of my stories happened a long time ago, and then it happened again, and again.”

Autobiographical tales have become a staple within the alternative comics world, and serve as a medium in which writers and artists have a fresh way to share incredibly personal stories.

Susceptible demonstrates exactly the unique quality that these comics can have.

“I guess comics as a medium helps readers to get a clearer picture because it [is visual],” Castrée said when asked why she thinks comics service this type of story so well. “And then autobiographical comics are so personal if you compare them to movies, because everything comes from the author.

Had I made a movie of Susceptible I would have had to hire actors, run around vintage clothing stores and garage sales to find something ‘close to’ what life was like 25 years ago. Comics win. They are a great one-person job.”

After the often brutal honesty of the mother-daughter relationship that plays out through the book, the reader is rewarded with hope in answer to Castrée’s original question, hope that does not fall into the trap of sentimentality or simplification, but is real and human.

Courtesy of Geneviève Castrée

Student theatre at the MainLine Productions range from dark to satirical Sofia Bachouchi Culture Writer

L

ast week, the annual Gala for Student Drama took place at the MainLine, an independent theatre on St. Laurent. As presented in the event’s pamphlet, the gala is “a project that offers student productions an opportunity to physically act on their visions in a professional setting.” For its third edition, the Gala chose to riff on Valentine’s Day, embracing a theme of “love stinks.” The show featured four plays, two in English and two in French, from students in various post-secondary institutions.

At the gala I met Mary Maynard from the local Factory Line Collective.

Maynard has been running the show for two years with Ian Truman, her

husband, and Jeremy Hechtman, former director of the MainLine.

Maynard’s knowledge of the entertainment industry, acquired by working on a film set, enables her to be present in nearly all of the steps of the event’s creation. Though relatively new, the event has proved popular.

“It’s really emotional, because it’s our second night and it’s already sold out.

We see [the project] growing up, and I find that really wonderful, in the sense that we see that there is an actual need for this kind of event.”

Sophie Daunais-Ouimet, author of Carrelage, as well as the play’s two performers, Noémi Lira and Pascale Labonté, are all students at Université du Québec à Montréal. Carrelage blurs the line between reality and fiction, and the distinction between the main character’s mind and the outside

world. It tells the story of two acrimonious roommates, Mathilde and Fanny, when the latter accidentally dies in the bathroom. In a reference to Fanny’s death, Carrelage means “tiling” in French.

For the performers, getting in the skin of their characters was an intense experience. Lira said that “to be in Mathilde’s skin was to create a psychological block, a defence reaction against all emotions.” The anguished looks on the faces of audience members was a good indication of Carrelage’s effect. For her minimal-but-sufficient setting, Daunais-Ouimet placed a bath and shower curtains in the middle of the stage.

Also present at the Gala was The Carrier Pigeon Play, written by Julie Foster and directed by Michelle Soicher, both of Concordia

University’s Fourteen to Never Company. Carrier Pigeon is an original and sadly hilarious exploration of the differences between men and women. It explores this ancient subject along the axes of expectations in love, finance, and time, through “the profound and intricate language of nonsense.”

Solstices, written and directed

by Laurie Murphy from Cégep de Saint-Laurent, is a play about a couple living with the psychological consequences of losing a dear friend. The performance was heavy with anxiety, but the beauty of the relationship between two lovers amidst a personal tragedy overcame the more overproduced aspects of the work.

Finally, If Phones Could Talk, written and directed by Alyssa Harms-Wiebe from Concordia, is

an amusing critique of the smartphone culture among the city’s creative class. Set in a restaurant, the play lampoons the damage these devices have wrought on the traditional conversation: two people are on a date, but one of them keeps texting. To make her point, HarmsWiebe mounted a screen at the back of the stage, on which the texts sent by the character appeared in real time. The effect distracts the audience, a playful meta-technique that reveals fresh ingenuity on the part of the playwright.

In all, the Gala was a successful bilingual event that granted space to some of Montreal’s most talented young directors. Fitting, too, that this combination of English and French theatre should take place on the Main – the traditional boundary between anglo and franco Montreal.

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A religious experience The shamanic Ben Caplan Julien Dinerstein Culture Writer

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like my drugs in the form of music, sometimes with a beer on the side. Earlier this month, Ben Caplan gave me my fix, delivering spiritual elevation on a cold and snowy night. The show, held at Quai des Brumes on St. Denis and Mont Royal, was sold out. The crowd, a flannel-clad Quebecois and Anglo mix of younger and older, was ready for the Halifax singer-songwriter to sell his soul in exchange for theirs.

The brew, a light brown buckwheat beer by the name of Coup de Grisou, quenched my thirst as I sweat out my soul in the packed bar.

Like a preacher, wearing a pinstripe blazer over a salmoncoloured button-down, Caplan mounted the small stage at the front of the bar and proceeded to spread the gospel. He shook, he boogied, and did everything he could to get his message across, which was to keep on living.

With several songs referencing stories from the Old Testament – Abraham climbing the mountain, Noah out at sea – this could have been a new age Friday night celebration of the Sabbath with Rabbi Ben Caplan at the helm.

But this service also spoke of vodka, and misery, and heartbreak.

The artist was free and true. He moved in and out of humorous anecdotes, sing-alongs, nigunim (wordless melodies often sung during Jewish prayer), tender ballads, and passionate roaring. At one point, the audience members were invited to join Caplan as he screamed at the top of his lungs, an exercise of emotional release in the closed-off city world.

And then there was “The Stranger,” a harrowing waltz written in the voice of a misanthropic Eastern European Jewish man.

This song was the reason I wanted to see Caplan live; I had heard it online just days before in a video taken at the SXSW music festival. I was not disappointed. By the time Caplan finished performing “The Stranger,” I was utterly drained and covered in sweat. My voice was hoarse. I had been taken on an emotional ride. Though I trusted Ben Caplan as my guide on this trip, I was exhausted nonetheless. All I wanted to do was get out of that place, to move my knees, stiff from standing still so long, and to go to sleep. Caplan’s talent is that impressive. He has a striking persona as well as a massive brown beard. A member of the audience behind me said that Caplan looks like Tom Hanks in Cast Away. I think he looks more

Illustration Amina Batyreva | The McGill Daily

like my mystical orthodox rabbi friend Leibish, and the comparison is apt considering Caplan’s presence on stage. He does not hesitate to speak directly to the audience while doing crazy things with his eyes. His voice – reminiscent of Eddie Vedder and Tom Waits – is thick and deep, while retaining a clarity that is nothing short of beautiful.

Watching Caplan, I wondered if this is what it must have been like to see Bruce Springsteen or Neil Young before they got big, or to experience catharsis at an ancient Greek theatre festival. Caplan is of the times. We in the audience knew that something special was happening that night. We could all relate to each other under the same truth. An admirable older couple, still going to rock concerts, was all smiles as they passed me by, lost in the crowd. I saw familiar faces and strangers, and heard French and English, and none of it mattered, because we were all there and we were all alive.

Whether Ben Caplan’s legacy

will persist, only time will tell. But in my books, for all they’re worth, I’m putting him down as a truly great stage performer that I hope will continue appearing for many years to come.

The following day, I conducted a twenty-minute phone interview with Caplan as he was en route to his next show in Joliette. On this current tour, the 26-year-old artist is going from his native Maritimes to Ontario and back again, to Australia for the first time, and then on to Europe. We spoke about life, music, artistry, and the age of his beard.

I asked Caplan about the sermon-like nature of his performance, and found out that my – dare I say – religious experience was all part of his plan. He revealed to me that there is indeed a “method to [his] madness.” Each show generally follows a plan to first grab the audience, then mellow things out, and then to end in frenzy. “I want to make everyone leave like they’ve gone through something together,” he stated.

For Caplan, ritual should not be

feared. These experiences, he told me, belong to a community.

He made sure to explain to me, however, that he uses nigunim because he likes how they sound, not just because they are part of his Jewish background. One can also hear reggae, country, and rock in Caplan’s music. Where a musical style originates, and whether or not Caplan’s use is authentic, doesn’t matter to him. “I don’t care,” he says, “I’m just trying to write a song.”

Perhaps it is that “I don’t care” attitude that has allowed Caplan to achieve success as a full-time artist. In university he decided to leave his musical theatre studies in order to focus on performing (he graduated with a degree in History and Philosophy). Thus began a four-year process of learning the game of the music industry while trying to stay afloat. He worked at call centres for a time, and was even a singing, dancing, and acting tour guide at an Alexander Keith’s brewery. As his beard grew – it is now four years old – Caplan stuck stubbornly to his childhood dream

of being an artist.

“What’s going on right now is pretty great,” he remarked, speaking of his current lifestyle, which consists of eight to nine months of touring, followed by a period of rest at home in Halifax. Though his life feels like a dream rather than work, Caplan reminds himself that he does still have a job; and that job is making art. For Caplan, the artist’s life means making sure to cook good meals for himself, listen to the radio, practice piano, and take in as many books and movies as he can before he embarks on another tour.

“Life for me, he added, “is about thoughtfully engaging with the universe.” This is his winning model in the game of the music industry. Whether he is wailing about love, or loss, or not being able to fall asleep at night, and whichever city he may be playing in, Ben Caplan can be expected to share his curiosity and honesty.

After all, as he sings in “Down to the River”: “I’m just trying to find my way home.”

14

culture

The McGill Daily | Thursday, February 21, 2013 | mcgilldaily.com

The people behind fundamentalism Why we can’t separate individuals from context Elena Dugan Archiving the Arcane

W

hen I was younger, I got my nits picked by some lovely ultraOrthodox women in Brooklyn. I lived in a small apartment with my entire family, and whenever lice so much as thought about Brooklyn, my whole house was immediately afflicted and my father would institute a crackdown which mandated infinite trips to the laundromat and absolutely zero complaints, “you infested children.” In further outsourcing, we were sent to sit in old wooden chairs on Ocean Parkway to stare at shellacked pictures of old Jewish sages while the women picked our nits, reminded us to obey our parents, and gossiped intermittently while tut-tutting the state of public schools. I spent about four years wishing I could swap my own frizzy curls for their shiny perfect bobs until someone pointed out they were sheitels, wigs worn by some observant Jewish women to cover their hair after marriage.

Nowadays, my mother is a pediatric visiting nurse, and often cares for Hasidic children (for there are many in Brooklyn), who she says are preternaturally responsible and well-behaved. For Christmas, a grateful young wife gave my mother an enormous mottled glass serving platter, knowing it was the

holiday season, and my mother would be celebrating. *** In my first year of Arabic, I befriended a particularly bubbly young woman in hijab who answered every question I could throw at her while sitting near a window in the SSMU cafeteria.

She was far more religious than her family, none of whom asked or mandated that she wear a hijab, and she was invigorated by her piety. She wore the niqab (face covering) on occasion, to see if she was truly modest enough, to test her own vanity and limitations. I asked her if I was going to hell, as a non-Muslim. She smiled and asked what I believed.

I hedged, and so did she. She hoped for an arranged marriage, and was nice enough to tote me along to a Qur’anic recitation class (in which I was, of course, a consummate failure). I saw a picture of her on Facebook a year ago, alongside her boyfriend who appeared to be wearing an army uniform. Her hair was uncovered. *** When I was working in Alaska, I was put on the packaging line alongside the boss’ girlfriend, a tough blonde with an easy smile.

I told her I studied Religious Studies and Arabic and she asked me why I would bother learning about people who wanted to

start a war against me. I asked her what she meant, and she told me that they want violence, they want war, it’s in “their Bible.”

She said they were vicious and bloody, but she knew a couple who were okay. Halfway through the day, running on my second week of 18-hour night shifts, I felt exhausted and couldn’t keep up with my share of the work. She took over without a single complaint, and when I protested, she just smiled. *** I recently read a book by a formerly Hasidic woman who paints a portrait of a community that was repressive and static, characterized by female subjugation and torturous adherence to ritual. You’ve read (from the political right) countless scarereports of the political and social dangers inherent in the rise of Islamic fundamentalist movements, not to mention (from the humanitarian left) indictments of their backward and anti-feminist social mores. There are dramatic pseudo-take downs of Christian fundamentalist idiocy all over the internet, starring a Clarence Darrow-style campaigner for truth who shatters the childish magic the foolish believer still clings to. I merely find it problematic that we speak about religion, something so personal and integral to people’s lives, as if it takes place in a vacuum. At best,

Illustration Amina Batyreva | The McGill Daily

discussions of fundamentalism are accompanied by zealous testimonies, obvious and stark articulations of what makes this particular person a religious aberration. A person’s context is so much larger than any statement they might make, or any creed they profess. Ignoring the human who speaks, or the life behind the statistic, is a betrayal of the project of the humanities, one that would fall apart in a blink of an eye in gender or race studies.

Fundamentalism is growing in political, social, and cultural

significance, and because many fundamentalists are grounded in separatist and isolationist beliefs, their voices may be absent from the popular consciousness. This should not mean that we construct effigies. Maligning the Other is outdated – why should this courtesy not be extended to the secularists’ ‘other,’ the fundamental believers?

Elena Dugan writes about religion and myth in the modern world.

You can contact her at arcane@ mcgilldaily.com.

Fairies in the House The Savoy Society takes on Gilbert and Sullivan’s Iolanthe Daniel Woodhouse Culture Writer

I

t is often asserted that all great English comedies are about class. Iolanthe, the comic opera

by Gilbert and Sullivan, being performed by the McGill Savoy Society, is no exception. Having been banished for 25 years for her marriage to a mortal man, the fairy Iolanthe, played by Maggie Frainier, is finally released by her queen. Upon emerging from her exile, she reveals that her love had produced a child, Strephon, played by Scott Cope. Strephon is a half-man, half-fairy who violates the class divide within the mortal world of England by daring to love Phyllis (Allegra Johnson), who is under the care of the House of Lords. The Peers would much rather she marry one of them, and are willing to exert their

inherited power to thwart Strephon’s best efforts. But now Strephon has his fairy mother acting on his behalf, and all kinds of mischief are about to be loosed upon the British democratic system. The story is perhaps more anarchic than fans of musical theatre may expect, and the humour more pointed. As Emma McQueen asserts in her Director’s Notes, Iolanthe is “Less Les Miserables, and more Family Guy.” The Lords, with their pomposity, ridiculous attire, and disdain for the lower classes, prove to be as ridiculous as the fairies. The comedic highlight arrives in the second act, as two lords, played by Nathaniel Hanula-James and Didier Blach-Lafleche, engage in slavish, backhanded bargaining for the hand of Phyllis, a ward of the house.

They nail both the haughtiness and the aristocratic sideburns I’d walked into the theatre hoping to see. Stefano

Saykaly, as the Lord Chancellor, does a fine job moving between lordly gravitas and camp clowning.

There are times, however, when the concern of the Peers for Phyllis’ hand veers from the comic self interest – which was originally intended – into the pawing of inbred dogs, who should certainly never have been allowed to be the guardians of a minor. It stands in sharp contrast to the fresh-faced propriety that Scott Cope brings to Strephon. All of this pales when compared to the maelstrom of suppressed passion that Claire Rollans, as the spear-brandishing Queen of the Fairies, reveals in her performance.

The ever-present star of the show, however, is the orchestra, which provides faultless accompaniment (full disclosure: I have a friend in the orchestra). One of the great pleasures of theatre is to see a per-

formance with live accompaniment.

It is like turning up at the farm to see where the meat you eat comes from.

Only less weird. The Savoy Society is using microphones for the first time, and it’s a welcome development, as even with amplification, the volume of the orchestra crowds the efforts of some of the singers.

In its time, Iolanthe was a searing take-down of the self interest and inefficiency of the Peers, couched in some of Gilbert and Sullivan’s finest musical arrangements and sharpest wit. In Britain, the House of Lords has since been substantially reformed. If this is a story from a different time and country, what can a Canadian audience expect to receive from a fresh rendition of this cultural artefact? Well, as assistant stage director Cameron McLeod pointed out, the Canadian parliamentary system is modelled on that of Britain.

Moreover, regarding Savoy in general, he continued, “For the anglophone community here in Montreal, the Savoy Society, along with the two others in the city, connects us to our British heritage.”

As a Brit myself, my lack of previous exposure to the oeuvre of the English librettos did not keep me from finding myself reunited with a version of my home country (albeit one that existed over a century ago, and with a few anomalous Canadian accents). With exemplary orchestral accompaniment and a fantastic cast, I recommend those hoping to discover some of the British heritage residing in this city to rush to catch this unique production.

Iolanthe will play February 21, 22, and 23 in Moyse Hall at 7:30 p.m.

February 23 will also feature a matinee at 2:30 p.m.

15

EDITORIAL

volume 102 number 35

editorial board

Loi 14, or what Bill 14 would mean to you

3480 McTavish St., Rm. B-24 Montreal, QC H3A 1X9 phone 514.398.6784 fax 514.398.8318 mcgilldaily.com coordinating editor

Queen Arsem-O’Malley

coordinating@mcgilldaily.com

coordinating news editor

Juan Camilo Velásquez news editors

Laurent Bastien Corbeil Lola Duffort Farid Rener commentary editors

Jacqueline Brandon Steve Eldon Kerr culture editors

Kaj Huddart Hillary Pasternak features editor

Christina Colizza science+technology editor

Anqi Zhang

health&education editor

Ralph Haddad sports editor

Evan Dent

multimedia editor

Kate McGillivray photo editor

Hera Chan illustrations editor

Amina Batyreva design&production editors

Edna Chan Rebecca Katzman

copy editor

Nicole Leonard web editor

Tom Acker le délit

Nicolas Quiazua

rec@delitfrancais.com

cover design Edna Chan contributors Sophia Bachouchi, Hannah Besseau, Eliot D’Silva, Julien Dinerstein, Elena Dugan, Michael Lee-Murphy, Austin Lloyd, Mona Luxion, Catherine Polcz, Swathi Sadagopan, Emery Saur, Sula Sidnell-Greene, Daniel Woodhouse

Illustration Jacqueline Brandon and Amina Batyreva | The McGill Daily

Next month, a parliamentary committee in Quebec’s legislative assembly will hold hearings on Bill 14 – a new piece of legislation designed to reinforce French as the language of work, education, and government. Bill 14 would enable the government to revoke the bilingual status of municipalities with less than a 50 per cent anglophone population, prevent businesses with more than 25 employees from using English in the workplace, and introduce a mandatory French proficiency test for Quebec high school and CEGEP graduates. It would also make it harder for the 24 per cent of non-French speaking immigrants who come to Quebec annually to find work in small businesses.

Bill 14 employs an underhanded method to revoke citizens’ right to access government documents in English. Under the new piece of legislation, the city of Côte-Saint-Luc, for example, could potentially lose its bilingual status because a large percentage of its population identifies their mother tongue as neither French nor English.

Citizens who don’t identify as having English as their mother tongue – for example, those who consider Yiddish or Italian their mother tongue, but who use English regularly – would therefore lose their ability to access municipal documents in English, as they would only be published in French. It is unclear exactly how such a measure would protect French, but it’s clear how it would make life more difficult for anglophones.

The main body of Quebec’s language laws, which protect the right to live in French for the province’s francophone population, are contained within Bill 101, which was passed in 1976. For francophones, the bill was necessary to counter the pattern of anglophone domination in the province. The bilingualism rate among anglophone youth in Quebec is now over 90 per cent, according to a 2001 study conducted by Jack Jedwab of the Association

for Canadian Studies. Despite these trends, the predominance of French is still endangered in many areas of Quebec, especially in Montreal.

The latest census from Statistics Canada reveals that the number of people speaking French in Quebec households has fallen from 46 percent in 2001 to 36 per cent in 2011.

For many English-speaking Quebec residents, however, the extension of the language laws in Bill 14 disrupts the status quo between the government and the anglophone population. The anglophone community largely accepts that French proficiency is necessary to obtain employment in Quebec, and the tacit compromise vis-à-vis Bill 101 has lasted without challenge for longer than a decade: anglophones have their current rights in return for assenting to the bill’s provisions. In face of this new development, a sense of anxiety among English speakers is palpable, as 42 per cent of respondents in a recent poll of anglophone Quebec residents said they are considering leaving the province.

If the government wishes to protect Quebec’s official language, then it should do so through more sensible legislation. Instead of limiting access to public documents, the government would do well to continue to defend Bill 101’s most commendable provisions. To change the linguistic classification of a community is to disallow its citizens from choosing their own preferred official language of correspondence, and furthermore, punishes those who wish to consult public documents in English. By tying the protection of French language in Quebec to a denial of the agency of municipalities to remain bilingual, Bill 14 asserts itself as an unfair piece of legislation that oversteps the responsibilities and roles of government.

— The McGill Daily Editorial Board

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All contents © 2012 Daily Publications Society. All rights reserved. The content of this newspaper is the responsibility of The McGill Daily and does not necessarily represent the views of McGill University. Products or companies advertised in this newspaper are not necessarily endorsed by Daily staff.

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compendium!

The McGill Daily Thursday, February 21, 2013 mcgilldaily.com

lies, half-truths, and persuasive robots

i6

Mind-reading in the papermill What publishers, editors, authors, and readers are really thinking Euan EK The Twice-a-Weekly

Detective novels Publisher: I am enjoying cocaine, because it is the 1980s.

Editor: I too, am enjoying much cocaine.

Author: I always said seven books a year was the lucky number. Cocaine is the best.

Reader: I feel an attachment to this character and must continue to follow his always-surprising endeavours in the next installment.

Also, emotions are hard.

Science fiction books P: Should I just tell the author to write the screenplay first?

E: Well, fuck you too, spellcheck.

A: I hope the pro-environment message isn’t too subtle. Maybe I should set it in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, just to be sure.

R: Mom, can I have this one please?

Modernist poetry P: Can we at least make it look like Lord of the Rings?

A: The substantive breaks with stylistic convention will secure my fortune and happiness.

R: And to think, he finished it only days before his death in poverty and obscurity.

Shakespeare P: And you’re saying the publishing rights are free?

E: So many folios, so little time.

A: Actually, I am more than one person.

R: Should I put this on the coffee table, or next to it?

Contemporary literature P: I’m so alone.

E: Success in this internship will help kick-start my career in publishing.

R: Oh, I thought it was Fifty Shades. Nevermind. And it didn’t win a Booker?

Alt-lit P: I am also the editor.

E: I am also the author.

A: I am also the reader R: I am also the publisher.

Diet books P: I feel no compassion for human life, and never will.

E: Is this immoral?

A: Maybe I did a bad thing.

R: Now society will accept me!

Canadian literature P: Have we run out of stock nature photos yet?

E: Is it too much to ask for a lead character?

A: My novel will finally define for all time the “garrison mentality.”

R: Since the election of the Harper government, I have a newfound desire to discover this country’s nationalist traditions.

Erotic fiction P: $$$ E: Would a comma add to, or detract from, this erection?

A: I enjoy writing while my kids are at school.

R: By reading this in a public place, I am showing the world how comfortable I am with sexuality.

Dickens novels P: Shall I leave the end off?

E: I’m just going to pretend I got to the end.

A: And they pay me by the word!

R: I chose to focus on the first chapter in my book report, Mrs. Sanders.

Self-help books P: <3 capitalism 4 lyf.

E: So many sentences in the imperative…

R: Oh. He has a PhD. That means that this is the one I can trust and so will buy.

Recipe books E: Did he mean tablespoon or teaspoon?

A: You put the onions in the pan, and the money comes out.

R: The claims about prepara-

tion time mean these recipes will fit into my daily schedule with ease.

Textbooks P: Do you think they’re ever going to do anything about this?

A: Shall I change the units or the examples this time?

R: “Charlie, I found it. It was under the keg.”

Kama Sutra P: Should we put this in the ‘world’ section?

E: Is the illustration upside down?

A: I am extremely fulfilled, like, in every single way you would expect.

R: Where is the nearest yoga gym? I hurt.

Financial guides P: I don’t need this. I will never need this. People will always pay for books.

E: I don’t need this. I have a BA. A: Soon, I shall be king.

R: Where did I leave my piggybank?

The For Dummies books P: Can we do a Dummies for Dummies?

A: We need air. Send help.

R: Adderall is easier.

Academic journals P: We should do this again.

E: He didn’t cite me. Rejected.

A: Only five more till tenure.

R: Thanks for your submission to the Journal of Studies. We have passed your article on to be peerreviewed.

Liberal political theory books P: That was boring.

E: The white male author of this book has clearly never felt love in his life.

A: Why won’t everyone listen to me?

R: I wish everyone listened to me like they listen to this man.

Scientific data collections P: Did you run it by EXXON first?

E: It looks like it’s true. But it also looks like a lie.

A: Punk gave us all unrealistic expectations when it comes to authenticity.

R: Oh. That’s handy. My car actually reduces the effects of climate change.

The Harry Potter books P: And she’s 100 per cent sure she’s done, is she?

E: Boom. Fucking. City. Life is so good.

A: Should I tell them about Harry’s real father?

R: I can’t wait to get my letter from Hogwarts!

Leaked documents obtained through ATI requests University inadvertently grants newspaper’s requests; documents outline internal procedures Euan EK The Twice-a-Weekly

T

hanks to a recently-filed Access to Information request, The Twice-aWeekly has obtained documents that outline McGall University internal procedures. Over the coming weeks, The Twice-aWeekly will present the documents in their unedited form.

This week’s document is an email from VP (Student Purchases and Receipts) Mortono Joaquin Fendelson to Dean of Farts Christopa P. Manfreddo, outlining internal procedures for dealing with questions, and some specific situations. The Twice-aWeekly presents the document in full below.

Dearest Manfreddoooooo: How’s it hanging? Did you cut any research funding yet? No? You should do that. As per your last email I’ve included some deets below about dealing with questions/issues/ commies, et cetera. Hang tight, bbe.

Dealing with questions If a student’s question mentions one of these sets of keywords, they should trigger a response using another set of keywords.

Set one Keywords to look out for in a students’ question: Money, where, what, doing, you, with.

Keywords to use in answer: Victim, budgetcuts, underfunding, global economy, World Class University, student wishes, the Francophone Problem [the Parti

Québécois].

Set two Keywords in question: Nothing, education, learning, happening, advising, help.

Keywords to use in answer: Victim, budget-cuts, underfunding, global economy, World Class University, student wishes, the Francophone problem.

Set three Keywords in question: Lies, access, information, request, to, truth, show, now, illegal, courts.

Keywords to use in answer: Conspiracy, campus, beautification, future, consider, your.

Context-specific questioning What to do if a faculty member asks about the money: Is this a tenured, full professor?

Yes: Take money from our account and put in their account.

Offer to make Chair of Department.

No: Say you will take money from their account and put it in our account.

Is the question related to specific expenditures?

Yes: Refer to The Francophone Problem, discuss benefits of science.

No: Laugh at, make humorous reference to Marxism and/or trade unions.

What to do if a student asks about the money: Mention career trajectories.

Discuss importance of assortment of contemporary ‘needs’.

Pepper response with frequent references to Facebook, Apple, and competition from young people in India.

What to do if non-student questions students’ learning environment: Mention research priorities. Point menacingly at assortment of graphs.

What to do if student questions student’s learning environment: Mention tenured-faculty. Put six-pack of imported beer at student’s feet. Talk about Thought Catalogue. Mention Fruit Salad™.

What to do if a student journalist asks about the money: You are too far out of James.

Retreat.

Hope that clears up any questions, home boy.

Peace out.

MJ Fendie, VP (Parties and Hanging Out) (I like this better, what do you think Chris?)