THE DAVIS ENTERPRISE
Social media is forever Dear Annie: I have experience as a financial coach, and some of the people I help are researching college scholarship opportunities for their children who are in middle school and high school. Many colleges and universities take a hard look at the social media history of prospective applicants, especially those who are applying for scholarships. The colleges look at grades, accomplishments, volunteer work, awards, honors and social media to determine the character of the applicant. If this teen is planning to go to college, the parents do need to monitor the teen’s interactions and help the teen understand the ramifications of careless and reckless posts. It would be heartbreaking to do the right things to qualify for college and then fall short because of old and forgotten social media posts. Anything we post is out there forever somewhere. — Just Another Point of View Dear Another Point of View: Thank you for your insight. You bring up a very important point for kids — and parents — to know. This is a new challenge that this generation is facing, and it is important to teach children about the consequences of their words and actions, especially on social media, for all the world to see and remember. ——— Dear Annie: I have been a lifelong reader of “Ask Ann Landers” and “Dear Abby,” and our local paper started carrying your column recently. One of the first letters I saw was about a family member with atrocious table manners, licking his plate, etc. There were a couple of responses printed recently as well, including one from a mental health professional. I’m a retired dementiacare nurse, and the alarming thing to me, which the
Legals@DavisEnterprise.net professional did not address, was the fact that the original writer indicated this is recent, i.e., a drastic change in behavior. That family needs to get that man in for a complete physical, mental and, especially, psychosocial checkup NOW! Such a major behavioral change is a huge red flag for possible earlyonset dementia or other potentially serious medical issues. Any family with a member who is experiencing such a radical change in behavior, no matter what the behavior is, needs to take it very seriously. — New Reader in Maryland Dear New Reader: Thank you for your expertise and for your service in being a dementia-care nurse. What a remarkable career. You are correct, and I hope that your letter helps people take the necessary steps to help their loved ones.
Sons found their own path to success Dear Annie: For background, I played and lettered in a variety of sports during school and continued to play on adult soccer teams and flag football as an adult. My wife was also very athletic, and we fully expected our sons to follow in our footsteps. I do want to qualify that I did well in school academically, obtaining both a bachelor’s degree and master’s degree in STEM majors (science, technology, engineering and math). Later, I earned an MBA at night school. However, I identified as an athlete, and excelling in a variety of sports was how I felt my worth was defined. I was only able to get my sons interested in sports because I agreed to coach their recreational soccer teams. At best, both were mediocre players, which to me was very embarrassing, and I did feel some level of resentment toward my sons for not trying to be better athletes and “living up to my expectations” for them. When both my sons entered high school, they chose to join the marching
band and stopped playing any sports. Both excelled in their studies and were easily accepted by top-level colleges. My oldest son won an academic scholarship, and my youngest son attended a military college where his schooling was largely paid for. Both majored in STEM degrees. Fast-forward several years. My oldest son is now a software engineer with one of the leading cloud computing companies and, at 6-foot-1-inch and 230 pounds, is a powerlifter who can easily bench press 400 pounds and squat with over 600 pounds. These are feats of strength that I never even dreamed of accomplishing. My youngest son, at 6 feet tall and 180 pounds, is now a pilot in the U.S. Air Force and easily scores 99 on the Air Force’s physical training test. Again, accomplishments I never dreamed of. I have grown from being a disappointed and resentful dad to being a very proud father of two excellent young men. I now see that letting your children find their own path and encouraging them to develop their own interests will lead to some very pleasant surprises as I have watched them grow up into young men. — Proud Pop Dear Proud Pop: Thank you for your insightful let-
ter. Your honest look at your mistakes and how your children ended up becoming men you are so proud of is refreshing and inspiring. I’m reminded of the fable of the tortoise and the hare. The hare seemed like he was fast enough to always win the game of life, but it was the slow and steady approach that prevailed. Each of us is born with unique talents and abilities, and if we are allowed to pursue them, good things will follow.
Sick of living with a slob Dear Annie: My boyfriend, “Denny,” and I have been together for two years, living together for the last year. He is a slob and oblivious to the mess he makes. When he fixes things in the house, he leaves his tools everywhere. He leaves spices and packaging all over the kitchen when he cooks. His clothes are scat-
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tered all over the house. He loses everything and never puts anything back where it belongs. I walk behind him all day, cleaning up his mess. I feel like I’m taking care of a child. I attempt to be organized; there is a place (a hook, a bin, a cupboard) for everything, but nothing is ever in its place! The worst part is that he is clueless that he does this. I’ve made every attempt to prompt him, show him, demonstrate to him how to clean up after himself, but he just doesn’t get it. I’m ready to start throwing his stuff out the window. What else can I do to get him to clean up behind himself? — Cleaning the Chaos Dear Cleaning the Chaos: You said it yourself; Denny’s “oblivious” and “clueless” to his own mess. Have you ever brought it
up? Odds are that he’s not aware of the difference in your cleanliness standards, or he just doesn’t realize it bothers you. Don’t beat around the bush. No more “prompting” or “demonstrating” what a clean home looks like. Denny isn’t a mindreader. If you tell him how you feel and he still doesn’t pick up after himself, you might suggest doing a joint purging of your belongings. After all, fewer possessions means fewer items to be strewn all over your home. Marie Kondo’s “The LifeChanging Magic of Tidying Up” is a great place to start.
For LEGAL NOTICES, email legals@ davisenterprise.net or call Shawn at 530-747-8061