HE TRI NG E
“We Do Satire”
The 38th Annual April Fool’s Day Satirical Edition
Visit Our Website theilluminati. gov
ONE BILLION DOLLARS
HEY GUYS I SAW A CAT TODAY DIO
Immortal Vampire
HEY GUYS I TOTALLY SAW A CAT ON THE WAY TO SOCIOLOGY TODAY. UGH, I TOTALLY FORGOT TO SAVE THE PICTURE I SENT TO MY STREAKS, BUT IT WAS SUCH A CUTE CAT. HE WAS SO FRIENDLY AND COOL. I HOPE I SEE HIM AGAIN.
Campus Senate Proposes Maximum Wage Dolla Dolla Bills
What’s Your Venmo?????
I Did My Best at Drawing It For You Here Brother Rob Upset Over No Longer Being the Poster Child of Mission Month
LEFT: A loving supporter of Brother Rob RIGHT: A severe lack on Brother Rob on this board!!!!!! BROTHER ROB’S NUMBER ONE FAN / COURTESY
Miss. Ion Month
The Holiest Time of the Year In a shocking turn of events, the college has posted brand new Mission Month boards out on the quadrangle in preparation for the annual month spent for volunteering in the community. Students familiar with these boards will notice they are lacking a familiar face: one Brother Robert Berger. Brother Rob has been featured on the “excellence in teaching” board in years past. But he is no longer pictured in this year’s new design. The Triangle was there
when he found out the upsetting news. “This is ridiculous!” Brother Rob screamed, as he roundhouse kicked the ‘respect for human dignity’ sign. “Now I know how the original Gerber Baby felt when he got replaced.” The Triangle reached out for comment from the Campus Ministry and Social Action department for comment, but they were all too scared to come out of their offices to face the wrath of the angry Brother. “I deserve to be on these boards because I am a legend at this college,” said Brother
IN THE VOID: A place where the AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHgood memes die young and the bad HHHHHHHHHmemes thrive p. no HHH on p. 666
INTERNET :
A modest proposal by campus senate is gaining traction with students at Manhattan College. The proposal would require wages of students to match that of professors in their respective disciplines. In the days following the proposal students have already begun to show their support, scheduling a march and multiple demonstrations around campus. One student on campus was heard saying, “This is the most important cause students have rallied behind since the protests for increased parking that we’ve had for the past year.” Campus Senate has been praised for this unexpected progressive action. Students are no longer being held back by the confines of an outdated system that favors people based on factors around their birth that they had no control
over, such as the year. Students seem encouraged to finally put an end to this age gap. Some students however, have expressed their discontent with the stipulations of the new proposal, mainly that students in different disciplines will earn different wages for the same job. The fear is that Liberal Arts students will change their majors and minors in order to qualify for an increase in wages by taking STEM courses. Some believe that this proposal could lead to a class ceiling which would further the divide between majors. *Any students not in favor of the proposal are welcome to formally lodge their complaints on the newly opened 13th floor of Horan Hall. As it is only accessible by elevator, at this time no student has attempted to complain.
Rob. One of his students that didn’t do the homework assignment last night agreed. “He is definitely one of the most amazing professors I’ve ever laid eyes on and I enjoy his class so much that I wish I could take it for the rest of my life. Such a life-changing, humbling experience. I can’t give enough praise,” said junior Tay Chars Pette. There is currently a petition being sent around to fix this extremely pressing issue. For more coverage, keep following The Triangle.
IN THE SEA:
Blub Blub Fish Noises Blub Shark... Shark? SHARK! HELP...
THE REST OF PAGE ONE IS CLOSED DUE TO MOLD. WE APOLOGIZE FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE. KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED FOR MORE MOLD THROUGHOUT THE PAPER.
Please Laugh.
2
the Triangle The 38th Annual Satire Edition We’re All Florida Men Deep Down Inside The Editorial Board Megan Dreher Naked Florida man causes fire while baking cookies on George Foreman grill
Gabriella DePinho Florida man continues gardening naked despite neighbors pleas to stop
Joseph Liggio Florida man shoots cousin to test bulletproof vest
Maria Thomas Shirtless Florida man is Alexa Schmidt back to take on Hurricane Florida man throws Florence because the samurai sword at sheriff’s Internet made it so deputies Rose Brennan Florida man shot over argument whether Florida or Ohio strip clubs are better C. Garrett Keidel Florida man arrested for throwing alligator through drive-thru window Lauren Schuster Florida man accused of exposing himself to Sammy’s exotic dancer
Katherine Heneghan Man won’t be charged in deadly shooting over parking spot due to Florida’s ‘stand your ground’ law Madalyn Johnson Florida man tried to steal vending machine from apartment complex, police say Pete Janny “Cardio is for fools” says well educated Florida man
Alyssa Velazquez Florida man saves turtle Brian Asare from “the streets” Florida man tries to steal second base at Devil Rays game Sophia Sakellariou Florida man not really sure why he stole a pack of Nicole Rodriguez Bud Light Florida man fighting to keep emotional support Samantha Walla squirrel Florida man stole IDs of a Abby Crowell Miami Dolphin, a tennis Florida man, 72, tries to pro and a Backstreet Boy Michevi Dufflart Florida man claiming people were “eating his brains” leads police on insane golf course chase
mow down neighbor with tractor during dispute
August Kissel Florida man pretending to be a cop tried pulling over two detectives
Nicholas Gilewicz Florida man crashes car into business while trying to time travel
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Quadrangle for this IMPORTANT SAT IRE EDIT ION. (For the normal issue 10, visit page 13). About The Triangle An annual tradition, The Triangle is a fake newspaper published by the students of Manhattan College. We strive to make fun of the most ridiculous things on campus and the greater community, publishing only once a year in the spring semester. Our goal is always humor, subpar Photoshop skills and smart satire. The Triangle meets once a year. The opinions expressed in The Triangle most certainly do not reflect the views of Manhattan College in general.
THE TRIANGLE
The Brethauer Death Hour
“Dearly beloved, we gather here to say our goodbyes. Here she lies, no one knew her worth: the late great daughter of Mother Earth. On these nights when we celebrate the birth in that little town of Bethlehem. We raise our glass-- you bet your ass to-- La vie Bohème…” (Bonus points if you get this reference). ANYWAYS. Welcome back to another Triangle Obituary, lovingly named the Brethauer Death Hour. Let’s look back on the loved ones we’ve lost this year. *cue Bye Bye Little Sebastian* All of the People That Left MC This Year If I tried listing all of them, it would turn into an Academy Awards In Memoriam slideshow… but RIP anyways (they didn’t die, they just found jobs elsewhere). Payless Shoe Store Goodbye to the cheapest shoe store that sold my favorite pair of shoes. But I am very upset you hiked up your prices during your liquidation sale so I don’t know if I’ll miss you all that much. Ever yone That Didn’t Sur vive the Thanos Snap So, who’s defeating Thanos? My money is on Carol Danvers, but I don’t totally rule out the Ant Man theory if you know what I’m talking about... People Who Definitely Know You But Avoid Saying Hi to You On The Quad Because you are dead to me. My Last Straw Remember that episode of Kim Possible where Ron Stoppable is at the counter of Bueno Nacho and he starts yelling at the cashier saying “this is the last straw” but the guy is like “no we have more in the back”? Yeah, that’s where I’m at right now in this semester.
Triangle Personal Ads Steve Masiello, Feel free to keep buying me JDel whenever you’d like. Thanks for being my Draddy xoxoxo ;) Masiello, thanks for the bobble head ;) John Bennett, I’ve always wanted to tell you that the nose piercing looks great on you but I always felt like that was an inappropriate statement to make so I put in a personal ad to the Triangle instead, sincerely, me To the cute Chem-E I pass on the 3rd floor of Leo, I know this love is forbidden but please, take a chance on me? With all my heart, the Civil you pass each Monday and Thursday at 12:15 To the guys that are always singing One Direction at the top of their lungs in the elevator suite in Horan, That’s what makes you beautiful bby
Black Mold Spores, I actually really miss you. You were quite literally the air I breathe and I cannot breathe without you, like actually my lungs are messed up now but it doesn’t matter because I’ve loved you so so so much The cutie on the SGA EBoard can govern this student body anytime - sincerely, the regular attendee of SGA meetings who isn’t a voting member of the assembly To the cute tour guide who gives the tours on Mondays and Thursdays at 2, let me take you on a walking tour of all the best places on campus to hook up, won’t you? Let’s start in the chapel at 4:30 on Thursday. - the future tour guide of your heart O’Malley, I’ll do anything for you to open your wallet for me again - B.O.D Missed connection You were drinking a JDel Iced Coffee when it was 40 degrees out. I like that in a girl. Call me.
Baked Potatoes, Thanks for being the only thing in Locke’s that brings me joy and makes me feel like I have a purpose in life again sincerely the chili ladle Jasper Elevator, thanks for making the ride slow, rough and loud xox your favorite resident Bought my girl tickets to see Aladdin so we could go out and then I could show her a whole new world when we got back to campus but she made plans for brunch anyone else want to come with me? - student engagement sad boi Jar vis, I aspire to be as campus famous as you are one day. Love, your #1 fan Send in your own Triangle Personal Ad with a small loan of $1 Million. Make checks payable to “Spinning the Wheel at Fens.”
APRIL 2, 2019
Please Laugh.
What is Up With the Bench Outside of Kelly Commons? THE RUMOR MILL We all know that the bench out front of Kelly has been wrapped in caution tape or offlimits signs for what seems to be like an eternity. What happened? Why hasn’t it been fixed? What needs to happen for it to be fixed? So we turned to the first-ever Triangle Rumor Mill to see what’s being whispered about. A squirrel was murdered on the bench and the squirrel cops stole the caution tape. -Rose Brennan I dunno man, I heard they submitted a few work orders but I guess Physical Plant hasn’t gotten around to it yet. -Joe Liggio I heard the bench broke when President O’Donnell
was practicing skateboarding and he broke the bench while trying to grind. They haven’t fixed it yet because he hasn’t perfected his moves and what’s the point of fixing it if he’s just going to break it again trying. -Cathy Goodyear The donor who commissioned the bench was a few grand short. His punishment for being “frugal” is obnoxious amounts of caution tape surrounding his legacy. -Jack Melanson I heard if you sit down on the bench, the ghosts of its donors possess you. And in order for you to receive an exorcism, the college makes you pay a $5000 exorcising fee. I don’t think anyone should sit there. -Taylor Brethauer
Someone spread peanut butter all over the bench and it was overrun with squirrels, they weighed it down so much it tipped over! -August Kissel As a form of protest for the donor not donating more money, the school decided to make the bench completely inaccessible to the public by placing two sheets of paper on it. Has this been effective? Yes... It actually has been. Great work everyone. -Alyssa Velazquez I heard that it was $50,000 to fix, like someone told me “yeah, it’s $50,000.” But I don’t think that’s really true.” -Sam Walla
Fresh Memes! Get Your Fresh Memes Here. Springfest Spring Concert
3
(Fake) News
4
THE TRIANGLE
_________(Club Name) to Host MC Legalizes ________(Adjective) Event Marijuana in Effort to “Go Green” Maddy Liberty __________(Adverb) with Dogs
Maui Wowie Weed Whacker
In honor of the upcoming holiday of April 20, Manhattan College has legalized recreational use of marijuana on campus. The decision was made in order to pay homage to the sizable stoner population, as well as celebrate the Irish heritage of the college. “This decision to ‘Go Green’ is actually essential to our Lasallian mission,” said CMSA member Cana Bis, pausing intermittently during the interview to take bong rips. “Campus Ministry and Social Action will now be selling fair trade edibles and rolling papers. And be sure to try our new Fair Trade chops: you won’t find anything danker on this side of campus!” Many outsiders of the college may see this as a horrendous decision, but it is actually doing wonders for student initiatives and start-ups, particularly in the School of Business. “Yes, drug-related arrests in the Riverdale area have skyrocketed recently, but so has student entrepreneurship,” boasted economics professor Mary J. Wanna, Ph.D. “One in three of our students are now involved in street pharmaceutical sales!” The legalization has changed several aspects of the college. The school colors have changed from green and
The brand new logo the college will adopt on April 20. MANHATTAN COLLEGE / COURTESY white to green and dark green. Locke’s Loft is now providing cookies laced with marijuana (which are indicated by green sprinkles). A thick green smog has now permanently instituted itself above the campus. And, most notably, the star on the college’s crest has been replaced with a pot leaf. This legalization has been met with great enthusiasm by students, but is less popular among certain members of the administration. “The C-Store is permanently closed after three inebriated individuals stole hundreds of bags of potato chips and packages of Pop Tarts,” said Gourmet Dining representative Jazz Cabbage. “And all of the Locke’s employees are going on strike because they’re being overworked. Everyone is just so hungry all the time!”
On ___________(your birthday), ____________(club name) will be hosting its first-ever ________(adjective)_________ (noun) Day celebration. The event, which is co-sponsored by __________(name of MC administrator) has been in the planning stages since last year. The celebration will feature the musical stylings of ____________(MC Performing Arts group), decorations by _____________(MC club or organization) and a speech by ____________(famous MC alum). “I’m really looking forward to the ________(adjective) event, it will be a lot of __________(unnecessary opinion),” said __________(your pet’s name)__________(the name of the street you grew up on), a senior _________(fake major). The idea of the day started when President O’Donnell saw __________(noun) on Twitter. While he knew it was unlawful, he still decided to propose the idea to ________(club name) because he’s a _________(adjective) president. “I just thought, I have to tell someone about this. ________(club name) was the first group to come to my mind. I think that the day will be very _________(adjective),” said O’Donnell, as he ________(verb ending in -ed) a Masiello bobblehead on his desk. Students interested in ___________(verb ending in -ing) with the event are welcome to contact ___________(Disney character) 01@manhattan.edu. “We’re really _________(adjective) for ___________(adjective)_______(noun) Day celebration. We’re hoping that nothing gets in our way, not even __________(typical MC problem),” said ________(your favorite Avenger), a sophomore _________(fake major). For more _________(adjective) updates, continue _________(verb ending in -ing) The Triangle.
That One Girl You Haven’t Seen On Campus In A While Is Indeed Studying Abroad Papa John
That’s A Spicy Pizza Pie Breaking news: that girl you haven’t seen on campus in a while is indeed studying abroad. The news comes from a recent Instagram story post in which she posted a Boomerang of her tossing a coin into the Trevi Fountain. She also included GIFs of the cartoon version of Lizzie McGuire, which is believed to be a reference to The Lizzie McGuire Movie. Students are shocked and angered that they had no idea she was studying abroad. “Because of the new Instagram algorithm, I never see anyone’s posts anymore. No wonder everyone thought she just transferred,” said Mark Zuckerberg, a junior robotics
major. Other theories included that she just had a different schedule than everyone and she wasn’t on campus often or that she was only taking night classes. “I’m so glad she’s been found safely, I was so worried. Now I can’t wait for her to come back and never stop reminding us that she studied abroad so I can feel like a money-less piece of garbage,” said Lele Pons, a sophomore comedy major. For more hard-hitting, investigative journalism pieces, continue to follow The Triangle. Of all the hard-hitting newspapers, we’re the hardhitting-est.
Get The Triangle in your inbox! The Instagram Story post in question. THAT GIRL I TOLD YOU ABOUT / SCREENSHOT WITHOUT HER PERMISSION
Scan the QR code. You know you want to.
APRIL 2, 2019
(Fake) News
5
Student Engagement to Host Hunger Games-Style Death Match to Choose Two New Clubs Claudius Templesmith May the Odds Be Ever In Your Favor
The freeze on new clubs will be lifted in the fall semester, and as a result two clubs will be granted official club status and given a budget. Some editorial boards of unofficial clubs have expressed anxiety over the selection process. Different clubs are calling for different criteria in the decision, with some demanding that Student Engagement consider factors like number of members, costs of operations, and the amount of time the club has been active. Student Engagement has come up with an exciting way to choose the two new clubs: a
Hunger Games style event. John Bennett believes that this event will be a fun way to get the club presidents engaged with other students. “We’re calling it ‘the Budget Games,’ because the prize is obviously the chunk of change we’ll be giving to the clubs. This process will allow the leaders of the competing clubs to interact with other students in a fun way! Plus, this system will prevent any personal responsibility on our part in making the choice,” said Bennett. The presidents of the competing clubs have expressed greater fear over the new process. Naomi Uy, leader of the acapella group known as the Performing Hearts, has asked
for Student Engagement to reconsider. “This is an unfair advantage to clubs focused on physical activity. If we had an American Idol style competition, my group would smoke everyone,” said Uy. WRCM issued their formal statement over the air last week. “I know I said this budget thing was going to be a ‘bloodbath,’ but this is absolutely not what I expected,” said the DJ. Kat Nish-Evergreen, a spokesperson for the newly proposed archery club, expressed different feelings. “We couldn’t have gotten luckier with this one. We can’t wait to get our new budget.”
Students in official clubs are both relieved and excited by the news. An anonymous member of the men’s rowing team expressed this in a private conversation that was overheard by two nearby tables in the fifth floor of the library. “It’s crazy, we wanted to be a club and they just drained everyone else’s budget to give us one. These poor kids have to fight to the death.” One of his teammates, who also spoke remarkably loud considering he was in a designated quiet area, responded with a different perspective. “At least this way we know that the winners are the strongest and smartest of the candidates.
President O’Donnell declined to personally comment, but his office issued one brief statement. “May the odds be ever in their favor,” said the ominous e-mail, sent to every member of the Manhattan College community. Student Engagement plans to hold the event in the subfloors of the library due to the fact that murder seems almost natural in that terrifying space. The competing clubs will announce their tributes soon.
Updates on Chrysostom to be Replaced Cutting the Doors With Apartments to Close into Draddy for Budget Deficit Commencement KING CRIMSON Enemy Stand User
Liz Anya
Do you carry a lunch box? This past week the office of the Provost and Student Engagement announced the newest work study positions available to all students who are interested and apply. The positions include joining the commencement preparation team, for spring commencement 2019. “The goal of the preparation team is prepare Draddy prior to commencement, and to be aids during the ceremony to make sure it flows smoothly,” said Indigo Green, the director of the Commencement Prep Team. Green was hired shortly after the announcement that Spring Commencement would take place in Draddy Gym. She hopes that the student involvement in the commencement preparation will raise moral amongst the students on campus. She has created positions that include, Draddy Door Creator, Beautification of Draddy, Handheld Fan Design and Distribution, and many others. Sophomore Rufus Greystone is one of the applicants for the position of the Draddy Door Creator. “I’m hoping this position will help me with me gain perspective for my future in modern art, for the application process we were each given a cardboard model of Draddy and told to cut out different sections for aesthetic and fire safety purposes, I personally added triangular
doors to give Draddy a more modern and unique design,” said Greystone. Applicants for the position of the Beautification of Draddy, suggested a stained glass wall to replace the glass one, a glass bottom ceiling so people may watch Commencent from above, and turning Draddy into a gazebo. “We hope to make Draddy a venue for others to rent out for their commencement ceremonies,” said manager of the Beautification Team, Dehlia Draycott. The Handheld Fan Design and Distribution team are required to work both prior to the event as well as at spring commencement. Their goal is to design handheld fans to pass out to everyone attending the graduation ceremony. These fans modeled after the design used during 17th century are meant to look delicate but be able to provide an intense flow of oxygen with each hand wave. They will be created with recycled materials and will be vegan friendly. During Commencement the Fan team will also be on the lookout for anyone in the crowd who is overheating, and they will swarm said person and all fan them at once, to cool off the audience member. The Commencement Preparation Team is still accepting applications for student work study, if you are interested in applying email Indigo Green at igreen01@manhattan.edu or see the Manhattan College Student Employment Page.
In a final attempt to fix the increasing budget deficit Manhattan college has been running at for the past few years MC president Brennan O’Donnell has announced that Chrysostom hall will be torn down and replaced with high rent luxury apartments leased by the college. “It was really a no brainer,” said O’Donnell, “The new apartments will be rented out directly by the school so we will be getting as much of the profits as possible. There will be a large range of spaces available from barley livable studios to a disgustingly lavish penthouse for the rich and the less
rich to live in.” More info can be found at manhattan.edu/ Chrysloftom. Whoever is responsible for building shit went into why Chrysostom was chosen to be demolished. “I mean who gave a shit about that place? it’s practically falling apart, and I held maybe 100 rambunctious freshmen. That place sucks, the kids here straight up call it C-Block, as in as prison.” However, not all students are happy with C-Block being torn down saying it has too much sentimental value “I have fond memories of heat stroke and insane benders in that building. This one time my ceiling just ******* caved in on me at 3:00 am dumping wet drywall and water all over me
and my roommate.” Of course, it was never actually up to the students anyway, so it doesn’t really matter what we say. If successful it is rumored that the green space on the quad will be converted in brownstones. Construction of the apartments is expected to be finished in spring of 2020 and C-Block is set to be demolished in summer of 2019 if it doesn’t just like collapse before then.
We love Bertram (and satire). The Triangle
(Fake) News
6
THE TRIANGLE
Residence Life To Revamp Training for RAs with Flyer Design Seminars, Repair Lessons, and More Reece Idents Arekneedy Wahhh My Elevators
Among the other changes the new residence life director Chuck Clency is bringing to the program, Clency has announced changes to the Resident Assistant training program. In an e-mail sent to only a few administrators who then shared the information with a few other administrators which eventually trickled down to the student body, Clency said he would be “revamping the RA training program to include more diverse training sessions to help the RAs develop into the best versions of themselves.” These new training sessions will include some practical labor lessons in elevator repairs, air conditioning repairs, ceiling tile repairs, window replacement and furniture repair. “We noticed there was a real need for RAs to be better equipped to handle facility repairs. We have a great team down at Physical Plant but we think it would be more personal for our RAs to make these repairs,” said Clency. “If they feel they have qualified enough residents to help them out, the residents can get in on it. These
incidents of broken elevators, collapsing ceiling tiles, can be transformed from boring repairs to fun, spontaneous programs.” Junior and current RA, Kikael Miley, feels these new changes will strengthen the program and has also been enlisted by Clency to help lead these training sessions. “You know, it’ll be nice to have other RAs in on this because these things happen and I definitely have not been the person to deal with them or make any repairs without going through Physical Plant, definitely,” said Miley. Despite Miley asking to keep this off the record, it is important to note that Miley has completed 400 of these repairs in just one and a half semesters of being an RA. Clency is aware of the fact that students do not understand how residence life is there to support them. “We know students don’t really feel supported on this campus, in a lot of different ways, but we figure, if they know that their RAs have new skill sets that RAs haven’t had before, maybe students will start to feel differently,” said Clency. The RAs will also have a two hour long intensive session
about how to make flyers that Clency said he is “not able to disclose what will be happening during that.” He continued, “This session is one of the most important sessions we’ve added. This skill is one of the most important, so important that we’re taking away two hours of our mental health training session.” “There is absolutely no need for the mental health training and it’s totally absurd that we had it in the first place. I mean, college kids having mental health crises? on this campus? absolutely absurd,” said Miley. “But the need to learn how to make flyers is so real and immediate, I’m really glad to hear they’re making this change.” Senior RA, Caitie Van Walkin is glad to hear they’re changing these sessions. “I actually raised my concern to Clency myself so I’m glad to see he listened to our needs. I also talked to him about how the mental health training needed to be revamped so I’m so glad he listened to me so fully,” said Van Walkin. There will also be training in how to mediate a breakup of a couple, how to host programs for or about boys without coming across as offensive, how to properly have a prank war with
another floor, and how to train your body to only need two hours of sleep. Miley said, “These sessions are so important because I’ve had to figure these things out on my own and it was hard at first and it made me feel like I was doing way more than was asked of me at the training I went through in August 2018. Now that this will be part of the training, I no longer feel like Residence Life is taking advantage of me.” Van Walkin thinks these training sessions are great to have. “It feels amazing to know that Residence Life thinks running our bodies into the ground is the only way for us to be good RAs because they’re not wrong and it’s glad they’re finally recognizing it,” said Van Walkin. Clency says he is open to feedback and wants the RAs to continue to bring ideas to him. “All of these new training sessions came from looking at what we were doing during training compared to what we saw our RAs doing. We want to give our RAs the most practical training and we found that maybe cutting out or cutting down mental health training and diversity training is what we need to be doing in order to give our
RAs the skills they are really going to need,” said Clency. He continued. “We want to see what works and what doesn’t and we know that a lot of what we’ve been doing hasn’t been working so it’s time for change,” said Clency. “We want students to know that we will listen to them but still, ultimately, do what we want without even considering what they’ve said to us.” This is the first year of revamps but Clency promised there are more changes to come that will help improve how students feel about Residence Life. “We have other training session ideas in mind but we’re still figuring out how to run them, such as how to make small talk with the white nationalist down the hall without making it seem like you condone white nationalism, how to diffuse the scent of weed, how to be the RA Brother Rob would want you to be, and how to host a satanic ritual as a program,” said Crunchy. “In time, we’ll be able to implement these training sessions and get rid of all other useless training. I think in time, we’ll be able to be a good office of Residence Life that students mildly like.”
Local Auto Repair Shop Puts Up Border Wall iKarly
In 5, 4, 3, 2... The owner of the Auto Repair Shop on the corner of 238th and Irwin Avenue announced a plan to build a border wall around the business and demanded that Manhattan College pay for it. Students of the college who have ever had a class in Leo or RLC have most likely walked past the shop amidst the sea of other students going to and from classes. This flow of students often causes congestion between class period times around the shop, making it difficult for even the simplest of repairs to be completed in a timely manner and the owner of the shop is taking a stand. “I can’t run a business with students walking in between and around the cars I’m trying to work on,” said Stew Steinberg, founder and owner of the shop. “The students Manhattan College is sending through my business are not good students. They’re bringing juuls. They’re bringing squirrels. They’re imbeciles. And some I assume are good people, but I can’t take it anymore.” Steinberg plans to build a border wall in order to stop the sea of students from cutting through his business.
“I want a strong border. I do want a wall. Walls do work, you just have to speak to the folks at Fordham. Walls work if they’re properly constructed. I know how to build, believe me, I know how to build,” said Steinberg. Steinberg is not alone in his frustrations. Long-time customer President Trump is in full support of the building of the border wall in order to receive the best quality service from the shop as exhibited by his tweet in all-caps, “Secure the border! Build a wall! On paying for the wall, Steinberg pointed to Manhattan College as the primary funder, arguing, that if the college had the funds to build students a new building on the South campus- another disruption to his business- they could find the funds for his “meager” wall. “I have a lot of moneymuch more money than all of them put together, and all of their phony contributions put together- but you have to understand, I want to be me,” said Steinberg. He intends to have the wall stand 20 feet high and made up of solar panels in order to lower the electric bill for his business, explaining that the money they save will help level out the mon-
ey they’ve lost as a result of the student disruptions. In response to Steinberg’s demands, Dr. Brennan O’Donnell, President of Manhattan College, has declared his refusal to pay for the wall, stating at a press conference held last Thursday evening that he “does not believe in walls.” “[Steinberg] is not a sane man. His demands are impulsive and irrational. It is my duty to address the problems and to face the challenges of [Manhattan College] and I speak for all of the Jasper community when I say that these demands are irrational, and we will not give in to this insult on our name,” said O’Donnell. It is unclear what Steinberg plans to do next. The growing tension between the shop and the college have only worsened since Steinberg first proposed the idea for a border wall. Students have begun to test Steinberg’s limits even further by going out of their way to disrupt the business. One such student, junior civil engineering major Hillary Swinton had a lot to say on the matter. “As a civil engineering student, I think it’s best to build bridges not walls. We want to build a lasting-relationship with members of the community, not be shut out from them.
The border wall is here at Karl’s. Check it out yo. KARL’S AUTO BODY REPAIR SHOP / COURTESY, PLEASE IGNORE THE WATERMARK OOPS They’re good people. We as students are also good people and the building of a wall will be of no benefit to either side,” said Swinton. The squirrels have yet to weigh-in on their thoughts, but the Jasper and Riverdale communities stand divided. Many
are for and many are against the wall’s construction. Only time will tell what happens next as the invisible wall of disagreement has already taken hold on this small corner of the world.
APRIL 2, 2019
(Feat. Pitbull)
7
Manhattan College Weighs In On A Very Important Topic: The Return of the Jonas Brothers VOICES ON THE QUAD
“I’m very excited for the Jonas Brothers to be back. I’m sad that all of them are married or engaged because I was convinced when I was younger that I would be Mrs. “Do you remember in their song ‘Burnin’ Up’ they had their bodyJonas. Maybe Frankie is still available?” guard Big Rob do a rap near the end? Well I’m in contact with -Mandy, sophomore communication major their record producer and you’ve heard it here first, ladies and gentleman: they’re going to do an updated version of ‘Burnin’ Up’ and I’m going to be the rapper. Here’s a little sample for you: Burnin’ up in the place tonight and the brothers singing loud (and were feelin’ right). Get up and dance (don’t try to fight it). BROTHER Robs for real (and that’s no lie). See what I did there?” -Brother Rob “The Jonas Brothers are the coolest band on the face of the planet and they’re way better than One Direction, Big Time Rush or the Naked Brothers Band combined. We-- I “‘Sucker’ is my new ringtone because that song mean, they, have had is a total bop. Or would it qualify as a jam? Or the best comeback of should I say The Final Jam? And when I get to all time and you can their concert once they go back on tour, I’ll be quote me on that.” like sorry, this is real, this is me, I’m exactly -Schmick Nonas, where I’m meant to be in the front row. Listen, senior Jonas I have to go make my bro Jason a birdhouse. Brother-ology major Rock on.” -Shane Gray, junior music major
First-Ever Class Inducted for Locke’s Finessing Honor Society Funelle Kaykes Manager’s Special
You’ve heard of Phi Beta Kappa, Pen and Sword, maybe even Tau Beta Pi, but are you ready for the newest honor society to join the Manhattan College ranks? Introducing Lambda Sigma Epsilon, or Locke’s Stealing Experts honor society. This elite society will welcome in its first class this semester with fifteen inductees that have truly per-
fected their craft when it comes to finessing the dining hall we love so much. One member, who has to be kept anonymous for legal reasons, is the infamous emblem stealer from spring 2016. The Manhattan College shield that once hung in the Tex Mex section was stolen under the noses of Locke’s workers three years ago. “Yeah, it was me. I think that might be the greatest accomplishment in my entire college career. That or the time
I spun the wheel at Fen’s and won water each time,” said Anonymous. The credentials to get into the honor society are easy: know the best ways to steal things out of the dining hall, a letter of recommendation from your favorite Locke’s worker, and a 4.0 GPA. “All very simple things,” said the founder of the honor society, Jarvis himself. The induction process took place at 10 p.m. last Tuesday, with the members complet-
ing multiple sneaky activities including stealing an entire carton of eggs from the home kitchen fridge, fitting as many spoons in your pockets, and a fried Oreo eating contest. Members will be recognized at the upcoming honors convocation on May 16 in Draddy Gymnasium and receive their official honor cords, which are made up of the longest curly fries and chains of corn nuggets. Congratulations to the first class of LSE!
I definitely didn’t make this logo last minute I’m sorry mom MY PHOTOSHOP SUBSCRIPTION EXPIRED / I AM A BROKE STUDENT
(Feat. Jason Derulo)
ATE
THE TRIRANGLE
Top Five Most and Least PoopingConducive Environments on Campus Tayka Dump Turd de France
Most Smith Auditorium, Basement This might be a controversial opinion, but the bathrooms are always sparkling clean because they are quite underutilized. I’ve never had a bad experience pooping in Smith, and it’s truly great for a pit stop before going to see a show or going to Mass. The only downside is that there’s no service or internet access, but that truly allows us to have solidarity with the generations before who didn’t have smartphones while pooping. Yikes, how did they manage to do that?
Kelly Commons, Fourth and Fifth Floor Pooping on the upper floors
of Kelly is probably the closest any of us will get to pooping like the Kardashians. Though the rest of the building is quite poorly built, the bathroom is devoid of all of those random columns and is truly in pristine condition. If you want to see how the one percent goes number two, take your next one to the Kelly upper floors.
Miguel Hall, Fourth Floor The single ladies room? Right next to Dr. Setzer’s office? Listen, it is GOD tier. Clean, private, and obscure, so it’s always available for you and whatever disgusting things you have in store for it. She will, like FRIENDS, be there for you. Overlook Manor, Lounge Another controversial and underrated option. It is certain-
ly obscure to many, especially those of us that thought, “Wait, there’s a public bathroom in OV?” Yes, and it is incredible.
Thomas Hall, Second Floor Far enough from Locke’s that only the commuters and people who live in OV will know your business. But it’s usually fairly available and it’s well-lit for those fire post-number two mirror selfies. Least Lee Hall, First Floor There’s that random shower in the corner that serves no true purpose, giving the space an odd, chaotic aura. Sure, it’s a single and there’s a fair amount of privacy, but if it’s a bad one, the guard at the security desk is going to know all of your business. Best to skip this one.
Any six-man apartment in Overlook Six man is the new ten man! Though there are four less people and two bathrooms, they are still equally disgusting. Why would you do that to yourself? I would strongly suggest taking it somewhere else, unless you’re a fan of pooping in a hazmat suit, which, to me, is highly counterintuitive.
Kelly Commons, Fitness Center Busy, sweaty, distracting. Need I say more? Why would you go here when you can poop in style just a flight of stairs away? (See Kelly Commons, Fourth and Fifth Floor) Thomas Hall, Fifth Floor Are you using the bathroom, or are you Harry Houdini fitting into a box? Well, in the bathrooms for the fifth
floor of Thomas Hall, you can have the best of both worlds! Unfortunately for all of us that are taller than five feet, there is little to no leg space, so forget about stretching out before you drop a big one. If you’re a fan of simultaneously using the bathroom and getting claustrophobic, there’s no place better.
Leo Hall, Third Floor There’s truly no winning with this one. Or with any Leo bathroom, for that matter. But the third floor truly takes the cake, in a bad way. Even in the dead of winter, the room is always boiling hot, there’s no leg room, and you can’t help but wonder if some of that sneaky, sneaky asbestos is lurking under the floor of the toilet.
FIRST EVER LOCKE’S-A-THON:
Anything Can Happen in The Span of a Day Sum Tin Fun E.
Runn N’ Ow Tof Eye deas Welcome to the first EVER Locke’s-A-Thon. I have spent one full day, from open to close, in the Locke’s Loft Dining Hall. Locke’s has everything: food (obviously), electricity, bathrooms and good times. I felt safe and comfortable the entire day and highly recommend to any student to skip all of their responsibilities and just sit in Locke’s for a day. These are my observations during my time spent in the dining hall for 14.5 hours. 7:30 a.m. I am the first one to swipe in for the day. I pick the circle table near the back room so that I have the perfect viewpoint of the entire dining hall, along with access to an outlet. I grab a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich from Russell at the grill, along with the freshest chocolate milk any student has ever received and watched as students not fully awake make their way into Locke’s. 8:30 a.m. I’m starting to think this is a bad idea. I am eating everything in sight because I have nothing else to do. So far I’ve grabbed three bowls of cereal, five muffins, another sandwich and some pancakes from the Tex Mex station. Spirits are down and we’re only an hour in. 9:30 a.m. Now the party has started!
More students are coming in with much more of a lively approach to the day. I’ve had a few friends stop by and ask what I’m doing. They’re a bit confused as to why I’m doing what I’m doing. And honestly, I am too.
4:30 p.m. I woke up just in time for the pre-dinner rush and I have more of a fan base growing. I have signed autographs for a few people. Locke’s workers are also coming up and talking to me. How nice.
10:30 a.m. News is spreading like wildfire about my Locke’s-A-Thon and I am a trending topic on campus. People are stopping by to introduce themselves and take selfies with me. Is this what zoo animals feel like?
5:30 p.m. Things are really picking up before night classes. The manager’s special tonight is cuban sandwiches, which are my favorite thing Locke’s has ever served. I may have mentioned that to a worker before during
11:30 a.m. It’s sushi day and I tried getting in line at 11:28 a.m., but I got yelled at. One of the chefs threw wasabi in my eye. Too bad there isn’t health services in Locke’s as well. Maybe I will write to management requesting this change.
Professor Spends Sabbatical at “The Rock” in Van Cortlandt
12:30 p.m. They’re guarding the sushi like a hawk. It is regulated to two pieces per person. Unfortunately I did not pack my bag of fake mustaches to continue coming up as different identities. I will save that for another day. 2:00 p.m. Nap time! Everyone loves a good mid-afternoon nap after a nice meal. At this point, I’ve probably had the equivalent of ten meals. I did not realize that this is what continuous availability to food does to a person.
the breakfast hour so maybe they pulled a few strings. I’m humbled. 6:30 p.m. The end is practically in sight, but still so far away. My butt hurts from these metal chairs. 8 p.m. I’ve taken to walking laps around the dining hall to work off all of the chicken tenders and waffle fries I’ve eaten today. But I also might need to attend a Zumba class.
9 p.m. I skipped so many classes today and one of my professors said they just saw my Locke’sA-Thon campaign trending on Twitter. I asked if I could still get an A in the class and she has yet to respond. 10 p.m. I’ve done it! 14.5 hours in the beautiful Locke’s Loft dining hall. I don’t think I’ll eat for the rest of the week. Please don’t ever do this, I don’t recommend it.
WHERE’S ROCCO? Imnot Wal. Do Lost Never Found
Most professors plan to take a sabbatical that takes them all over the world. They usually come back refreshed, and full of stories and research to share with their colleagues and students. However, Dr. Rocco M, assistant professor of something, decided to take a different kind of sabbatical. He spent the year off at the popular spot on Van Cortlandt called “the rock”. A
popular spot among students to indulge in a variety of illegal activities, it’s almost a rite of passage at Manhattan College to make the trek up to that special spot. Dr. Rocco M’s research found that most students did not understand why he was there. Occasionally, some would check up on him and ask if he was ok, but they left him alone for the most part. “I really enjoyed staying at this location, and I don’t think I would have gotten this ex-
perience anywhere else. You know, taking a break from the husband, and just having the time to myself really helped me grow as an individual, in mind and soul,” he said. “I’m ready to share my findings with those back at school. My thesis explained why students just don’t care about anything. All they want to do is smoke weed, and honestly, who can blame them?” Stay tuned to see his presentation on his published research.
MARCH 27, 2018
AA AAA AAAArts
and
E.T. Tanement
NEIN
Student Wins Award For Finding 500th Bug in Locke’s Meal Chicken Corbin Bleu
Does This Salad Taste Crunchy To You? Locke’s Loft has had its fair share of items in food, just like any other eating establishment. But it has recently passed a milestone. Student Ray Mantis has been awarded for finding the 500th bug in his Locke’s Loft salad on Friday. The entire dining hall leapt to their feet in applause and the Locke’s workers had tears in their eyes. The resident district man-
ager of Gourmet Dining, Nicholas Valinotti, handed Mantis his trophy and gave him a firm handshake. Then, Mantis gave a speech to his fellow classmates. “I would like to thank my mom and dad for always supporting me. I’d also like to thank God and the Lasallian mission,” said Mantis. In an exclusive interview with The Triangle, Mantis said, “They had us in the first half, I’m not gonna lie. I never would have thought that I would win. I’m shocked and so honored. Now I need to go to a hospital
because I think I have half of a cockroach stuck in my throat.” This reporter noticed that in the back of the dining hall was one Joe Liggio, refusing to stand or applaud for the winner. With his brow furrowed and his arms crossed tightly across his chest, it was clear he was angry he didn’t win. “I deserved that trophy. I’m the bug guy and always will be! My goal is to find the 1000th bug,” said Liggio. Liggio received the award the following day.
The Associated Press Stylebook THE NOOKIEST BOOK Alexandra Pierson
I refuse to accept the % sign All fans of the Oxford comma, avert your eyes! The Associated Press Stylebook is here to tell you what to capitalize and which state names get weird abbreviations. Though severely lacking in the plot department, there’s nothing quite like a book that tells you what to do. For the Marie Kondo fans out there who crave organization, the beautifully divided table of contents is sure to please. From the correct way to write aircraft names to a map of U.S. time zones, the A.P. Stylebook always has you covered. Ever wondered what filing for chapter 7 bankruptcy meant? Unfamiliar with the
definition of a tamale? Instead of using Google like a normal person, you can just use the A.P. Stylebook to find the answers to all of your burning questions. Though not a passionate romance novel or a suspenseful murder mystery, the A.P. Stylebook has a little something for everyone. From fashion terms to sports abbreviations, the A.P. Stylebook is sure to have what you’re looking for. As all good journalists know, news writing is nearly impossible to do without knowing what a Bundt pan is, but luckily, the A.P. Stylebook will gladly give you the definition whenever you would like. At over 500 pages long, the A.P. Stylebook may not be a quick read, but it’s certainly
worth it in the end. After you finish it, you can email recipes with measurements in perfect A.P. style to all of your friends and family, and who wouldn’t be impressed by that? Not to mention that if you want to stay updated on what’s hot and what’s not in the world of journalistic writing, the A.P. Stylebook comes out with a new edition every year. Never again will you be in the awkward situation of being unsure whether or not to hyphenate the term “well-known.” Whether you’re looking to become a writer at the New York Times someday or you just want to know what the word foreclosure means, pick up a copy of the A.P. Stylebook today and you’ll be well on your way.
The Trophy was provided to Locke’s from the Burger King Down the Street. THE KING IS ALWAYS WATCHING / NO SERIOUSLY HE IS, LOOK FOR HIM IN THIS PAPER! I THINK HE’S TRYING TO KILL ME!
Throwback to a simpler time. NOW I NEED TO FIND ALL OF MY “PERCENT”S / WHAT A SEXY BOOK SURROUNDING THE JOURNALIST WORLD
Da Tridankle THE NEW STUDENTPAPER OF DIS LIT COLLEGE | SINCE FOREVER BRUH
LIT T YMEET INGS
Errday 4:20 p.m. Kelly 420
Weed do journalism (and satire).
fArts
10
& Entertainment
THE TRIRANGLE
Sanctus Artem Hosts Cross-Campus Phallic Art Exhibition
redacted
(Always) TOP: The President of the college was greeted with a surprising new art installation erected in his parking spot. __________________________
I’m here to kill... __________________________
(Sometimes) BOTTOM: Chrysostom Hall has been beautified yet again by a great erection of an art installation!
act ed
The Sanctus Artem art club will begin a week-schlong exhibition of various campus artists this Monday, all contributing to one of the most honored artistic traditions of our time: phallic art. Ranging from Horan Hall to RLC and every campus building in between, these unhung artistic heroes are finally being acknowledged for their major contributions to art depicting love muscles and meat sticks for generations prior and for future ones as well. “I am beyond thrilled that my secretive art is finally out in the open,” said Sanctus Artem member Baloney Pony. “Gone are the days when I had to illustrate beaver bashers and flesh flutes in the shadows. Now, I’ll show them! I’ll show them all!” Now that the wing wang doodle-illustrating community is gradually becoming more accepted on campus, not only can beef whistle artists live their lives in relative peace, but more
__________________________
red
Tricky Dick
Penis Euphemisms Galore
yogurt shotgun art enthusiasts are joining the club as well. In fact, the movement is engorging to such an extent that the club aims to erect a statue of a trouser snake on the quad in order to celebrate the brave struggle and timely contributions of the ones who just love to draw lamb sauce shooters and purple-headed pistons. But according to Sanctus Artem, the club has a boner to pick with members of the administration who are not as progressive when it comes to showcasing art that features heat-seeking moisture missiles. “If they want to be on the wrong side of history, so be it,” said Sanctus Artem co-president Tan Banana. “For the time being, we have no intention of ending our exhibition until every inch of this campus is covered in spawn hammers.” Sanctus Artem co-president Babymaker Bishop agreed with Banana, and ended her interview with a rallying cry. “The steamin’ semen trucks have just pulled in, and they have no intention to pull out anytime soon!” Bishop said.
__________________________
Amid Gazebo Installation, Jasper Hall Gentrification Continues Y. Uppie
Rip the dankness Beginning with the gazebo installation at the beginning of the academic year, Manhattan College has promised to provide a “face lift” for the former pot smoker’s paradise that is, or was, Jasper backyard. The backyard is truly turning into an “arts district,” which is the euphemism that developers give an area in which they are going to gentrify to infinity and beyond. But to some Jasper Hall residents, the developments may have gone too far. Freshman Lyle Bedammed is a resident of Jasper Hall’s second floor, and is facing eviction due to the remodeling. “I had to leave my room early for my eight a.m., and when I came back later that day, the entire second floor had been converted into an Anthropologie,” Bedammed said. “Now where am I supposed to live? Between the cashmere sweaters?” Bedammed’s floormates ridiculed him when he moved out, as his new room in Lee Hall was nowhere near a cafe where a black coffee costs five dollars for no apparent reason. Sophomore Genny Trafire is also a resident of Jasper Hall, and she is quite annoyed with the recent push to develop the building. “Locke’s was good enough for me; why on Earth do we
need a Whole Foods in Jasper backyard?” she asked. The gentrification seems to be causing more problems than it is providing solutions. Most notably, the building can only be accessed by Jasper Hall residents, who must scan in with the college-provided Pura Vida bracelets. Also, Jasper Hall is now the only building on campus with an enforced dress code, in which students must be wearing at least one article of clothing from Lululemon, Patagonia or Vineyard Vines at all times. Luckily for them, all three of those retailers can be found on the newly converted sixth floor of Jasper, right between the Shake Shack and Urban Outfitters. Furthermore, the water supply of the building has been repurposed. Hot and cold running water has been replaced with banana-flavored craft beer and kombucha, respectively. “What, now I have to shower in Horan Hall?” asked sophomore Daisy Dookes, shuddering. “I need to be within 500 feet of a Starbucks or an Apple store at all times! And where the hell am I supposed to charge my Tesla?” However, some students are taking the changes in stride. Jasper Hall residents can now more easily identify each other around campus by asking themselves, “Does this person look like a giant douchebag?” Furthermore, after countless
Jasper Hall now features a variety of high-end stores that the average college student definitely can’t afford on their own. RICHIE RICH WILIIAMS / BOUGIE BOI hours of lobbying, whining and overall complaining, the School of Liberal Arts will now offer Hot Yoga as a major. Most notably, however, Jasper Hall will be holding its own separate Springfest, choosing
to name their event the (Gentri)Fyre Festival. Headliners will include Hozier, Greta van Fleet and Halsey. Refreshments at the event will consist entirely of gluten-free carob cookie edibles and craft beer
in the following flavors: green cherry, purple raspberry and blue apple, because Jasper Hall residents argued that black cherry, blue raspberry and green apple were far too mainstream for their tastes.
SportsBall
APRIL 2, 2019
11
Argument Between Two Golfers Leaves A Hole In One- Sports Lets TALK about SPORTS
The Bogey Monster I’ll Never Fore-get This
A fight started between two members of the men’s golf team this weekend, resulting in the disqualification from the MAACs for the next one billion years. The news comes after said fight was posted on World Star and both students were wearing Jasper apparel while on a local golf course. “We absolutely cannot have this kind of representation from our students posted online,” said Marianne Reilly, director of intercollegiate athletics. Reilly was the one who found the video in the first place. “Oh I just love World Star. It’s extremely entertaining. But I was so upset when I saw the Jasper logo pop up on my screen. I scrolled past at first, but then I thought again that as the director, I should probably do something,” said Reilly. The Triangle was able to contact and identify the two golfers: Lion Forest and Lemonade Iced-Tea. Forest was unable for comment however, because Iced-Tea had stabbed
Chaos on the course! What will happen next? I’m so confused! AHHHHHHHHH / IM NOT A GOLFER I ONLY DO MINI GOLF him with a putting club and placed him in a hospital. Iced-Tea sat down with The Triangle for a chat. “Yeah, it was a serious fight. I didn’t think I could stab
him with my putter though, because I’ll admit my putting game is week,” said Iced-Tea. When asked about the reason for the fight, he would not answer right away. But eventually, he cracked.
“Alright fine. He told me that I sucked at the Fortnite default dance. An insult like that makes you want to kill a man, okay?” said Iced-Tea. As for the billion year ban of the golf team, Reilly only
had one thing to say: “I’ll admit I didn’t mean to fill out the incident form with one billion. It was only supposed to be a one, but I got caught up on another World Star video. Do you remember Sharkeisha?”
Upcoming Jasper Home Game
Giveaways!!!!!
Softball MLAX MROWING WLAX April 10 April 19 April 3 Giveaway: Giveaway: April 6 Giveaway: Every Pair Leftover Giveaway: RARE Bertram from of Copies of Fried Jessie Art Print, Only Louboutin the Hit Oreos from Shoes Given Out to First 420 Film Locke’s Masiello Fans at the Gate Titanic Owns Loft
12
Nike Shoes Breaks
in
Sports
THE TRIANGLE
Zion Williamson Forgoes NBA Draft and Transfers to Manhattan College
Weird flex but okay Zion. HOW TO:/ KEEP ZION AWAY FROM LOCKE’S FOOD SO HE CAN ACTUALLY STAY AND MAYBE WE WILL WIN SOMETHING
Steve from Blues Clues Now we will Win
Zion Williamson announced that he will no longer enter the NBA Draft. The 6’7” college basketball phenom decided he wants to continue his college career with a twist: Starting at forward for the Manhattan College Jaspers. “This was an easy decision for me,” the Duke star (colloquially known as Zion) said. “There’s no way I’m going to the New York Knicks.” The Knicks currently hold the worst record in the NBA. Under the new NBA lottery system, they will have a 14 percent chance of receiving the first overall pick in the NBA Draft. While the Cleveland Cavaliers and Phoenix Suns also have the same chance at drafting Zion as of now, he does not want to take any chances. “Even a 14 percent chance of going to the Knicks scares me beyond belief,” said Zion. “After all it’s the Knicks...need
I say more?” Avoiding the Knicks is not his only reason, however. There is a certain school in the MAAC Conference that Zion has some bad blood with. “It’s really killing two birds with one stone,” said Zion. “Beyond avoiding the Knicks, I want to get back at Iona after an incident that happened when I visited the school while I was a senior in high school.” The incident he referred to occurred when Zion was enjoying some free food in Iona’s cafeteria during a visit. “There were bugs in the broccoli! How could any school let a potential student experience that?” said Zion. Odlee Familia, resident district manager for Iona Gourmet Dining, issued a written statement after Zion revealed the news. “We would like to deeply apologize for getting caught and we promise it will certainly never never happen again. We decided to secretly continue end our relationship with our
current food service provider. While all their produce is fresh and delivered daily, we don’t want Zion to come to Manhattan College and eliminate us in the MAAC Tournament for the next three years. Please don’t transfer to Manhattan Zion, please! We want what’s best for our students!” Iona has dominated the MAAC Conference for the last four years. Iona has gone 5125 in conference play over that period of time. Furthermore, the Gaels have represented the MAAC in NCAA March Madness Tournament the last four years after winning all their MAAC Tournament games ever since a 79-69 defeat in the MAAC Championship by Manhattan College on Monday, Mar. 9, 2015. “Manhattan College was the last team to take down Iona and now with me, they will also be the next team,” said Zion. When asked what he will do on his first day in Riverdale, Zion’s mind was set. “The absolute first thing
I’m going to do is eat at the famous Locke’s Loft,” said Zion. “All the college’s officials have spoken very highly of it. They referred to it as the best and cleanest food in New York. I can’t wait to dig into that broccoli!”
T-T-THAT’S NOT ALL FOLKS! THE QUADRANGLE IS THIS WAY!
“We Do Journalism”
the Quadrangle
Visit Our Website mcquad.org
THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF MANHATTAN COLLEGE | SINCE 1924
Volume XCVIX, Issue 10
FREE
NEW YORK, APRIL 2, 2019
Horan Hall Wins In Return of Popular Event Dorm Wars Taylor Brethauer & Megan Dreher Senior Writer & Editor-in-Chief
The Force Is Strong With This Team The return of the RSA event Dorm Wars featured a Star Wars theme logo and dodgeball game. ALEXA SCHMIDT / THE QUADRANGLE
Student Government Assembly Discusses Student Concerns, Engineering and Surveys Gabriella DePinho News Editor
On Wednesday, March 27, Student Government held an assembly meeting to discuss club updates and upcoming events. BAC After establishing the assembly had quorum at 12:07, Ryan Kwiecinski, Vice President of Finance, called the AIAA (American Institute of Aeronautics and Astronautics) representative forward to discuss their budget allocation request. Senior Bryan Smyth came up and explained the competition they would be attending was not the national competition but an alternate competition in Raleigh, N.C. The AIAA requested $1510 to take a team of nine people to the competition. The plane that the team is building this year, that meets the AIAA requirements, is a military application, which raised a concern for a member of the assembly. The vote passed with only two members of the assembly voting against
the allocation. Other Committee Updates The Club Oversight Committee still has to meet to discuss the club proposals and President Jaycie Cooper promised there would be future updates to come. Casey Monroe, VP of Social Life, announced she would be hosting a Social Life Committee meeting on Thursday, March 28 to start planning for Springfest. Monroe also reminded the assembly that if anyone had any questions in regards to anything involving student government that they should email the student government email, studentgov@manhattan.edu, instead of contacting assembly members on their personal accounts. Anna Rosario, VP of Commuter Affairs, reminded the assembly that the CSA would be hosting a commuter field trip to New Roc City. To RSVP, commuters can go to the link tinyurl.com/NewRockRSVP. If not enough commuter students sign up, resident students will be invited to sign up.
IN FEATURES: Meet Stephen ZuAcademic Integrity Policy Updates brycky on p. 20 on p. 17
IN NEWS:
President Cooper announced the Neighborhood Relations Committee community cleanup and gardening in Brust Park on April 14. There will be lunch provided for those who come and help out from noon to 1 p.m. Isabel Quinones, VP of Residential Affairs, reminded the assembly that Dorm Wars would be on Friday, March 29. Read “Horan Hall Wins In Return of Popular Event Dorm Wars” for more coverage of that event. Quinones also announced that ten white boards were replaced in Horan and Lee and that those have now been put to use. VP of Academic Affairs Kerry Cavanagh started a discussion about how to best handle parking at commencement. One proposed idea is that each graduate will get one parking ticket for the day of commencement with an
__________________________ CONTINUED ON PAGE 17
Student Government brought back an old event from years past on Friday, March 29: Dorm Wars. The event was hosted by the Resident Student Association (RSA). Sign-ups for the event began back in January, where students could sign up to represent their dorm building: Jasper, Chrysostom, Lee, Horan, and Overlook Manor (OV). Students were welcomed to Draddy Gymnasium by RSA with music, pizza, and free t-shirts boasting a Star Warsesque design. The Resident Student Association is headed by vice president of residential affairs, Isabel Quinones. “I brought back the Dorm Wars because I wanted an event for residential students to have some friendly competition. We always hear of students saying Jasper is the best hall or Horan is the best, but we’ve never been able to prove it. So I thought a night to promote residential life and building communities would be a great opportunity for my position in Student Government to work on,” said Quinones. Teams lined the Sixth Borough bleachers with posters for their teams as they painted each other’s faces with their team colors. For OV, their color was black. Lee was white, Horan was blue and Chrysostom and Jasper, on a combined team, were purple. Steven Owens and Gianna Pavone, resident assistants from Horan Hall, served as commentators along with Quinones and explained the games. The first of the night was titled Star Wars, which was a giant game of dodgeball but with pool noodles and Jedi savers. “Star Wars was probably my favorite event. There were pool noodles and balls flying all over the place. It was so much cra-
IN A&E:
Tech Crew of MC Players Approaches “Tech Week” on p. 22-23
ziness in two minutes,” said junior Brooke Hynes, a member of Horan’s team. For the entirety of the night, one dorm would be up against another. The loser of the first round would be out and receive 50 points and the winner would play the winner of the next round. The final round was between the two winners. The winner of the final round would take first place (500 points) and the loser would take second place (250 points). A wide range of students attended, from athletes to groups of friends to RAs. For sophomore Shanice Lyle, she threw caution to the wind and cheered loud and proud for her team, Horan Hall. “A friend suggested I sign up, plus I was assisting Student Government with tabling for the event so I thought why not! So glad I went! It was a night to remember [...] My favorite part of the night was just interacting with such great people from different dorms on campus. I loved cheering my team on and lost my voice doing so, but it was absolutely worth it because we won,” said Lyle. After Star Wars came volleyball. Team members stood on the sidelines of the court cheering on their own team and the others as well. The referees for the evening were student workers from the Intramurals office. As the winner was decided from the volleyball tournament, a game of knockout basketball was started to determine who would go to the final round. Then came the Tug of War contest. Each team had to win best two out of three and selected their strongest players. Anja Pollozi, the co-captain for the Horan team and an RA for the building, particularly enjoyed the Tug of War game. “There were several special fun moments, but my favorite
__________________________ CONTINUED ON PAGE 15
IN SPORTS:
Chris Woodhouse named MAAC Field Performer of the Week on p. 24
Opinions & Editorials
14
the Quadrangle Volume XCVIX, Issue 10 APRIL 2, 2019
The Editorial Board Megan Dreher Editor-in-Chief
Gabriella DePinho News Editor
Joseph Liggio Maria Thomas Asst. News Editors
Alexa Schmidt Features Editor Managing Editor
Katherine Heneghan Asst. Features Editor
Rose Brennan Arts & Entertainment Editor Managing Editor
Madalyn Johnson Asst. Arts & Entertainment Editor
C. Garrett Keidel Sports Editor
Pete Janny Asst. Sports Editor
Lauren Schuster Social Media Editor
Brian Asare Photography Editor
Alyssa Velazquez Production Manager Sophia Sakellariou Samantha Walla Production Editors
Nicole Rodriguez Asst. Production Editor
Michevi Dufflart August Kissel Web Editors
Abby Crowell Distribution Manager
Nicholas Gilewicz Faculty Advisor About The Quadrangle A tradition since 1924, The Quadrangle is a news organization run by the students of Manhattan College. We strive to cover news around campus and the greater community, publishing weekly in print and daily online. Our goal is always accuracy, relevancy and professionalism. The opinions expressed in The Quadrangle are those of the individual writer and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Editorial Board, the College or the student body.
Join The Quadrangle The Quadrangle’s staff holds weekly open meetings on Tuesdays at 4 p.m. in Kelly Commons Room 412. All are welcome to come and join the club. Connect with The Quadrangle
THE QUADRANGLE
LET T ER from Production Dear Reader, This weekend at the Production Office of The Quadrangle was definitely a busy one. Once a year, the staff works hard and creatively to produce one of the most favored issues, The Triangle. The Triangle issue features 12 pages filled with satirical articles, skillfully photoshopped images, and handcrafted memes, all done by the dedicated staff members of the entire team. This within itself is a task that requires both time, effort, and a good sense of humor. In addition to the 12 pages of the satirical issue, the Quadrangle staff is also tasked with creating a 12 page issue that features all the latest news of the college community. With doubling the standard issue, it’s clear that the staff must work hard in order to produce this loved issue. For the past three years I have been part of the production team of the Quadrangle, tasked with producing the paper every Sunday with the help of my fellow colleagues. There was always a love-hate relationship when it came to the production of a 24 page newspaper. I was never a fan of the sometimes long hours spent on the paper, but I’ve always loved the results and the spirit of the production team. Each year the team creates memorable moments when creating the Triangle. From laughing at President O’Donnell sporting an afro to somehow implementing Bertram, from the Disney Channel’s show Jessie, into the paper not once but two times! These memories shared throughout the creation of this special issue makes the long hours of staring at a computer screen worth it. The work ethic and dedication of the production team should never go unnoticed, so with that I would like to personally thank everyone involved with producing this wellcrafted paper. Without each of you, this issue would not be the meme and news filled masterpiece that is in the reader’s hands right now. Thank you for dedicating your Sunday to ensure that the quality of this issue lives up to the standards we have been taught since our very first Quad-class. Your hard work never goes unnoticed and I’m blessed to have you each a part of the production team.
Sincerely,
Alyssa Velazquez
Production Manager
mcquad.org @mcquad @mcquad mcquad
Sign up for our monthly newsletter by scanning the QR code above.
News
APRIL 2, 2019
15
Dorm Wars Returns to Campus, Horan Hall Wins
__________________________
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 13 part was the constant support-- the high-fives, the cheering, the clapping-- and the laughs we shared with each other throughout the night. I would say tug-of-war created a tough and close competition between the teams and was pretty fun. Dorm Wars was one of the most entertaining events I have done all year,” said Pollozi. The team captains were RAs from all of the buildings and served as the point people for the teams. Piotr Zarzecki, the other cocaptain for Horan and an RA for the building, was proud of his team throughout the night. “My role as team captain was to try to get as many people involved as possible and to make sure everyone was having fun. Horan did a great job showing dorm pride and really got into the games so they definitely made my job a lot easier,” said Zarzecki. Then came a major team effort for each dorm building in the relay races. Pairs had to velcro a strap around their ankles for a three-legged race, then take the band off and do the wheelbarrow on the way back. Though members of Lee Hall’s team were unsuccessful in taking home the victory, they celebrated the overall experience of the night. “We really tried to get everyone excited and it was a lot of fun to see our building get excited when we did fairly well in the relay race event. I got a chance to meet some kids from my building that I haven’t really had a chance to talk to,” said senior Dan Sammon, an RA in Lee.
The deciding game for the night was dizzy bat, where players had to spin around a bat five times and then sprint to one side and back to secure the victory for their team. It came down to OV and Horan: OV was at 1375 points while Horan was at 1125. OV won the dizzy bat race, earning their team 500 points and Horan earned 250 points. After calculating the scores, Quinones announced there was a tie between OV and Horan, with both teams at 1625 points. Quinones, Owens and Pavone decided amongst themselves what the tiebreaker event would be. It was decided it would be a 200mm relay race, with five representatives from both teams passing off a pool noodle. “My team was a bit nervous going into the tie-breaker relay with OV, but we had hope, chose who we thought would be best for the event, and were able pull through,” said Lyle. Lyle’s sentiments were echoed by Hynes. “The tie-breaking round was really exciting and nerve wracking because we wanted to win!” At nearly a photo finish, senior Chris Garritano crossed the finish line for a Horan Hall victory. “Anyone who wasn’t racing was lined up along the sides and cheering their teammates on and we just had such a great team energy,” said Zarzecki. All students in attendance were invited to eat cake as the Horan team was awarded their trophy, which was 3D printed courtesy of the engineering department. As students began to leave,
The event had many different games, including rounds of knockout basketball, pictured above, ALEXA SCHMIDT / THE QUADRANGLE
----------------------- “The most exciting thing about Dorm Wars was this excitement about something that hasn’t happened during my time at this school,” said senior Dan Sammon. ------------------------
they all shared congratulations and remarked about the fun of the event. “A lot of students loved it! Everyone was constantly smiling, cheering on their peers, and being supportive of one another. The team spirit was really great to see because everyone was coming together for one cause: to win. Students seemed to enjoy all the games and activities that were planned,” said Quinones. Sammon agreed with Quinones, stating that he was happy to see an event like this brought back to MC during his final year. “I think the most exciting thing about Dorm Wars was this excitement about something that hasn’t happened during my time at this school.
The atmosphere was awesome and the coordinator team really did a great job of setting everything up.” The next big event for Student Government is Spring Fest on Saturday, April 13. But until then, they will be able to boast about a successful return of Dorm Wars. “I hope that this is a recurring event every year. This is a great event for my position to work on because of all the connections you make in Residence Life. I hope that in future years, the event becomes larger: having enough students to fill up all the bleachers in Draddy. Hopefully, it continues to grow as the event becomes more popular,” said Quinones.
Teams representing Overlook Manor and Lee Hall battle it out in a game of tug of war. ALEXA SCHMIDT / THE QUADRANGLE
News
16
THE QUADRANGLE
Jasper State of Mind Announces 2019 Campaign for Student Government Alexa Schmidt & Samantha Walla
Features Editor & Production Editor The Student Government elections for the executive board are approaching next Thursday, April 4, through Friday, April 5, where students can cast their vote online. Currently, there is only one cohesive party campaigning, called Jasper State of Mind. The nine members began campaigning Thursday, March 28 after gaining 50 signatures each, followed by Student Engagement approval. Running for president is Kaylyn Atkins, a junior currently serving on the judicial branch of student government. Atkins decided to run after a positive experience serving the Manhattan College community for the past two years. “So i kind of just slowly started looking at who our leaders are on campus and who we feel as if would be a good fit and who would mesh well together and also ensuring we get students from all different backgrounds so that we make sure everyone’s interests are met and everyone feels as if they can have a voice through the student gov executive committee.” The junior political science and international studies double major was approached by junior Ryan Kwiecinski, who has previously served on the executive board for a year, to join the diverse group campaigning, which includes residents, commuters, athletes and engineers. “I’ve been involved with
Jasper State of Mind will run unopposed for student government, which will be voted online Thursday, April 4 and Friday, April 5. KAYLYN ATKINS / COURTESY student government for the past two years, on campus and it’s really helped me grow as a person, and I knew after being on the executive board this year that I really wanted to run again,” Kwiecinski said. He is currently on the executive board as vice president of finance. The other seven members include juniors Gallager Gregory, Anna Rosario, Luke Malpica, Parveen Rampersaud, Ginamarie Napoli, Megan Dreher and sophomore Nadia Itani.
Jasper State of Mind has four core values that they want to emphasize in their campaign. This includes inclusivity and diversity on campus, Jasper Nation 2.0, campus health, and rejuvenating campus space. “We want diversity between serving commuters more on campus, and bridging the gap between veterans and students. We want students to have a more Jasper state of mind in school events and getting more people involved with events on campus,” Atkins said.
Japer State of Mind is comprised of students from various years and majors to best represent the variety of Manhattan College students. SAMANTHA WALLA / THE QUADRANGLE
“We are looking at campus health through a broad perspective, so not just overall health, but mental health,” Kweicinski added. “That’s a really important thing, especially on college campuses across the country and across the world. Really focusing on mental health in ways that students can have access to the information they need and the resources that can help them, and just ensuring that all of our students feel as if they’re in a good place.” He continued. “Going along with bridging the gap, we really want to find ways we can use the different campus spaces. So we’re working on furthering that idea of having a community lounge on campus. We want to ensure students that are commuters, if they’re on campus for a long period of time, that they have spaces to hang out and relax in a quiet space,” he said. Through the use of social media, Jasper State of Mind hopes to reach a wide audience and get as many students engaged as possible. “We really just want to encourage students to vote in general. Voter turnout is so important and to get out there and have your voice heard. We really look forward to taking what great on campus and furthering that, but also making sure that we’re looking at areas on campus that can be fixed and making sure we’re giving
our attention to that,” Kweicinski said. The campaign requires months of preparation, especially in identifying student issues and using them to formulate campaign initiatives. Jaycie Cooper, current president of Manhattan College’s student body, recalls her own campaign process fondly. “Within that week, I became super close with the e-board and got to meet a lot of new students, learning about the different issues that affected my fellow classmates,” she said. “While it’s a shame that there won’t be the same competitive environment this year, I look forward to seeing how students will run their campaigns.” Voting will begin on Thursday, April 5 for all freshman, sophomores and juniors. It will close the following day on April 5 with winners announced soon after. For more coverage, continue following The Quadrangle. Editor’s Note: Editor-in-Chief of The Quadrangle, Megan Dreher is running with Jasper State of Mind for student government.
News
APRIL 2, 2019
17
Academic Integrity Policy to See Updates Rose Brennan A&E Editor
In what has been a long time coming for Manhattan College’s academic integrity policy, the Educational Affairs Committee (EAC) will be instituting updates and revisions regarding levels of dishonesty in work. The updated version of the policy aims to define actions considered academically dishonest, and it also hopes to distinguish between the varying severity of those actions. Senior Kaitlyn von Runnen held the position of vice president for academic affairs during the 2017-2018 school year. She was first introduced to the need to update policy as a member of the EAC. “Because [the policy] hasn’t been implemented to the fullest extent possible … [the] administration, the EAC [and] Provost Clyde decided they wanted to revisit it and come up with a better system that will be better implemented and addresses all the issues that students are fac-
ing on campus in regards to the academic integrity policy,” von Runnen said. “There’s been some students who really follow the rules, and then they’re not taken into account for that, when other students who are constant violators aren’t being documented and reported.” Sr. MaryAnn Jacobs is a faculty member of the School of Education, as well as a voting faculty member of the EAC. She feels the new policy will make violations more explicit. “The changes include making the violations more specific. The listing of the violations is meant to bring attention to what not to do,” she said. According to Kerry Cavanagh, the current vice president for academic affairs, the EAC has been working on the policy updates for about a year and a half, since the time von Runnen held her position. “The policy wasn’t clear enough … [on] what the violations were, what were the consequences, what were proper reporting mechanisms,” Cavanagh said. “So there really came a need to fix that policy
and to make it a bit more streamlined and have clear cut … guidelines as to what counts as a violation of academic integrity on campus.” Cavanagh is one of three students currently on the EAC, and believes that providing the student voice is absolutely essential to the success of the committee. “[Students] are outnumbered in the committee, so it is very important that the three students voice their concerns whenever they come up, because after all, these policies and things are being made with students in mind. So it’s important to have that student perspective.” The new policy will implement a point system to evaluate instances of academic dishonesty. Higher point values indicate more severe violations. The least severe infraction is recorded as a “warning.” Warnings are classified by assumed inexperience and are noted as having “a lack of evidence of planning or collaboration.” Other infractions will be
evaluated on a four-point scale, with point values rising according to the severity of the dishonest action. Students can receive one, two and four-point violations. One-point violations are infractions that involve “lowlevel” planning, but no collaboration. Such violations include “looking at another student’s answers during an exam or plagiarism not exceeding ten [percent] of the work.” Two-point violations involve moderate levels of planning and/or collaboration, including “materials created for the purposes of cheating or plagiarism exceeding ten [percent] of the work.” Four-point violations are the most severe, and are characterized by “substantial” levels of planning and/or collaboration. According to the most recent draft of the updated policy, “These consist of instances involving cheating, plagiarism, fabrication, or academic misconduct when there is documented that the student’s actions represent a blatant disregard or disrespect for the expectations of academic
integrity.” As the policy is still going through final drafting stages, the above information is subject to change at the discretion of the EAC. According to Cavanagh, implementing a point-system helps students and faculty recognize various types of academic dishonesty, as well as the severity of those types of dishonesty. “There really are very different forms of … academic dishonesty … and so, how do you characterize … not citing properly in a paper versus going into an exam and very clearly looking at someone’s paper? They’re on different levels, so I think they felt the need to have those in a point-based system to have it [be] more fair,” Cavanagh said. The EAC currently aims to implement the revised policies into practice during the Fall 2019 semester.
Student Government Assembly Discusses Student Concerns, Engineering and Surveys __________________________ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 13 assigned parking location. “The hope is that at least one spot will be guaranteed to you,” said Cavanagh. Concerns about the need for accessible parking were raised by assembly members and Cavanagh acknowledged the concern. Those with suggestions or concerns are advised to reach out to Cavanagh and the Educational Affairs Committee about these issues. Henzley Pierre-Louis and Stephen Zubrycky, the School of Engineering VPs, then came forward to share the concerns engineering students had raised to them at their School of Engineering town hall. Some concerns included snow day notifications, which continued an conversation the assembly had at an earlier assembly meeting. Other concerns raised were more specific to the School of Engineering, including the building the engineering classes are in. “They said Leo [Engineering Building] is way too hot, even during the summer time,” said Pierre-Louis. “Some people are actually getting sick from how hot the rooms can be. Some people, during tests,
they cannot think properly during the exam because of how bad it is.” The rooms that got the biggest complaints were room 236, the Scala Academy Room, the room next to the Scala Academy Room, the Fischbach Dining room and the girl’s bathroom on the third floor. Another big complaint is that the engineering classes are heavy on Mondays and Thursdays, with few classes being offered on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Executive Vice President, Jara Giner, a chemical engineering major chimed in. “Ours are pretty much only hour and fifteens and only Mondays and Thursdays starting at 12 o’clock,” said Giner. Louis-Pierre presented some other concerns students had before wrapping up with the assembly moving forward with the agenda. Presentation From Office of Institutional Effectiveness Bridget Miller, Steve Celin and Dora Moreira, who work in the Office of Institutional Effectiveness, came to talk to the assembly to talk about the surveys they sent out to the school and to hear feedback from the assembly about the surveys they send. “On our agenda this year, we are doing the Institutional
Priorities Survey which is faculty and staff and the Student Satisfaction Inventory that asks a whole lot of questions about how important certain things are to you about campus life and how satisfied you are with them. It’s obvious to me why you want to participate in them and hopefully it’s obvious to you why you should want to,” said Miller. She continued. “We’re doing this with faculty and staff as well. We can begin to get a better understanding of where there are disconnects. So where do we think some things are just great and that students are really happy with say parking or maybe not so much,” said Miller. “We can look to see where things are really really important but low satisfaction, those are easy places to look so we can make significant improvements in the student experience.” Miller explained that the institutional surveys the school sends out are through a third party vendor who aggregates the data anonymously and the school then looks at it in a variety of ways. The school tries to space out their surveys, such as the Title IX survey, from each other to not wear down student participation but the timing of them ultimately falls under the
outside vendor’s control. Students in the assembly raised their concerns about the number of surveys they are receiving and transparency issues such as where the surveys come from, what their purposes are and how to make the language more inclusive. The representatives from the Office of Institutional appreciated the feedback and welcomed students to come to them and raise concerns. Women’s Week and Islam Awareness Week President Cooper announced that Women’s Week kick off would be on March 28 and the week will go until Saturday, April 6. Assembly members were encouraged to attend events. President Cooper allowed assembly member Rabea Ali to speak on the upcoming Islam Awareness week. Islam Awareness Week starts on Monday, April 10. “They [Women’s Week and Islam Awareness Week] both share the theme of student activism and advocacy,” said Ali. At the end of Islam Awareness Week, the Muslim Student Association usually hosts interfaith jummah prayer but this year, they want to do a tribute to the New Zealand Christchurch and the Pennsylvania Tree of Life victims. They are
looking to find a way to do a flags on the quad tribute and somehow tie that to their jummah prayer service. Other Announcements Cooper announced that Anthony Scaramucci is coming on April 10 but the event will be small as it will be in Hayden 100. The day before Scaramucci comes to campus there will be a campaign panel which two contrasting campaign managers will come to campus to host a panel from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. Again, the assembly was reminded that student government is working in conjunction with the International Student Association to help put on their annual International Night event. This year’s event will be a gala on April 26th from 8 p.m. to 11 p.m. The ISA is still looking for student performers. The next Senate meeting is April 16 at 3:30 p.m. in the Alumni Room. The next Student Government Assembly meeting is Wednesday, April 10 at noon.
Features
18
THE QUADRANGLE
Students Weigh in on Springfest VOICES ON THE QUAD
Stephen Serulle
Jayden-Kai Galvez
Marketing Major
Mechanincal Engineering Major
Senior
Freshman
“I am excited for Jeremih but not so much for the rest. I think we could have saved our money and gotten one dope artist instead of three mediocre ones.”
“I am hype for Jeremih and I know of his stuff but unfortunately I can’t go to Springfest because I have work. “
Mithzeri Carranza
Hunter Brea
Mechanical Engineering Major
Mechanical Engineering Major
Sophomore
“I personally do not listen to that type of music and do not know the artists but I am willing to go this year to try out something new and to get a new vibe.”
Senior
“I am actually kinda looking forward to only one of them, definitely not Jeremih but I am going to say 3OH3! I used to listen to them back in the day so 3OH3! definitely.”
Features
APRIL 2, 2019
19
Model UN Prepares for New York Conference in the Spring Shannon Gleba Staff Writer
As their conference in NYC on April 14-18 nears, the Model United Nations course taught by Professor Pamela Chasek, Ph.D, is in its final stages of research and preparation. The Model United Nations course, offered by Manhattan College’s government and politics department, gives students the hands-on opportunity to learn more about the UN system and to gain knowledge about the specific country they are representing. According to senior international studies major Natalia Alvarez, Model UN is a great way to become better educated about current events and to meet new people. “The class is a rundown of what the UN system does while we are representing a specific country and their position. So, we have to put ourselves in the shoes of the country that we represent even if we agree with the ideologies or not. We talk about different topics and different committees, such as environmental topics, human rights topics, gender rights topics and social topics. We get to really know about the country’s background and the country’s position and just about the UN system as a whole and you get to meet new people who have the same interest as you,” said Alvarez. Model UN is offered as a credit-granting course during each spring semester, but is also a club in the fall semester, when the group attends a conference in D.C. During the fall of 2018, the club was tasked with representing the United States, while they are instead delegates for Cuba for the upcoming conference.
Senior psychology major Jacob Sarasin has been part of Model UN since transferring to MC as a sophomore. He has participated for the past three years in both the club and course setting and sees the benefits of both. “Model UN is divided up into two sections every [academic] year. The first section is a completely different country than the second section. So, fall semester we had the United States. So, we had to do research on the United States, and I was the on the United Nations development program. So, I worked on infrastructure, and creating green cities, sustainable urban developmentthings like that.” He continued. “And that is a club, that is not a class, there is no credit involved, it is all just because you want to be there. It essentially has the same return on investment as taking the class, except you don’t get the credits, you are just doing it for the love of the UN.” Junior political science major Parveen Rampersaud is new to Model UN and appreciates the style of the class because it gives a comprehensive understanding of the UN system. “We spend a day on the rules and procedures of what is going to go down in the Model United Nations, we spent about two or three weeks on the stimulation so we are prepared when we get there how to negotiate with people, how to better research, have impromptu speeches, develop speeches formally and impromptu,” said Rampersaud. Chasek, who has been teaching at MC since 1997 and has been a full-time faculty member since 2000, thinks the course’s hands-on approach is beneficial to learning.
“I think the most important part of the course is the fact that students have to think of themselves as representatives of another country that may have views on policy different from their own. It gives students a different perspective of the world and international and domestic policy making,” said Chasek. The 24 members of the Model UN are split into pairs and are assigned a committee to participate in, including committees like UNEA, UNESCO, the Human Rights Council and the Special Committee for Peace-Keeping Operations, among many others. In these pairs, the students work together to develop a position on three assigned topics and they write a paper about their country’s stance. Sarasin said, “Position paper take three weeks, and they are the most stressful part of the class. They are when you are doing all of the work essentially. I remember there were nights when I would be with my partner until 7:30, or 8:30 at night, knocking out three or four-hour sessions working on the stuff. It is a collaborative project, you work with your partner, you both write part of the paper and then two or three weeks later you submit it. It goes through a couple different iterations of drafts, and then you submit it like two months before the conference starts, something like that. And then the judges look at it and grade you on it. Then, depending on how good it is, you might win an award on it.” The experience of writing these papers is very similar to the job that many United Nations delegates have. The students of the class are also very thankful that the course is true to the process of the United Na-
tions system because Chasek has extensive experience working within the system. In addition to authoring many books, Professor Chasek said, “My area of research is United Nations negotiations on environment and sustainable development. In addition, I do work at the United Nations as part of my work as executive editor of the Earth Negotiations Bulletin, a reporting service on UN environment and development negotiations.” Kaylyn Atkins, a junior in the course said, “I don’t think other schools might have that opportunity to have a professor like that, she’s awesome.” In the long-run, the Model UN course provides students with many skills that will empower them within their professions, whether they are centered in diplomacy or not. Sarasin said, “I am in Model UN because I enjoy the experience and I think that it gives me experience in a bunch of skills that are incredibly important to me. You learn how to public speak because you have to give speeches. In between the times when you’re working, you are giving speeches on the things that you care about, so you are speaking in front of one hundred to two hundred people and I mean there are not a whole lot of opportunities to do that.” He continued. “You work on team work, you work on working under pressure, combining a bunch of ideas, collaboration, it’s a lot of the skills that you need in the workforce, or you will need later in life that you are just getting an opportunity to practice, which is really cool.” Chasek also agrees with the importance of Model UN in the development of students skills for the workforce and
said in an email, “Through Model UN students learn how to work with a partner and in small groups. Students learn how to speak in front of large groups of people (300 people or so), negotiate and interact with people from difficult countries and different cultures. Over 60 percent of the participants come from outside the United States. Students learn how to stand and deliver. All of these skills are useful in the workplace (no matter what their career) and in graduate school and law school. These are all “real world skills” and you can’t learn them only in the classroom.” On top of the invaluable occupational skills students gain as a part of Model UN, the group also becomes forms a strong bond and are able to meet many people from around the world. Alvarez said, “I enjoy becoming really close with the Manhattan College group because be all become close because we are struggling with the same issues in conference, or frustration because we are all really tired. And also, meeting people from different parts of the world or the United States and just being more informed about what is happening with current issues today.” Atkins said, “I think my favorite part is being in the actual conference. I have never met so many people from around the world that I am still friends with after the conference. I guess just the people and the experience in and of itself, because it is different every time.”
Join the Quadrangle WE’RE LOOKING FOR WRIT ERS / GRAPHIC DESIGNERS / PHOTOGRAPHERS / VIDEOGRAPHERS
Weekly Open Meetings TUESDAYS @ 4 P.M. IN Kelly 412
Features
20
THE QUADRANGLE
Sum of All Forces Equals Journalism: Meet Stephen Zubrycky Rose Brennan A&E Editor
Few faces on campus are as synonymous with The Quadrangle than Stephen Zubrycky, a civil engineering major and urban studies minor from Long Island, N.Y. Zubrycky is currently in his final semester at Manhattan College, and will be graduating in May. In his time at MC, he has dedicated his time to several on and off-campus organizations, with The Quadrangle being only one of them. Zubrycky was first introduced to MC and The Quadrangle by what can only be described as a stroke of luck. “My sister was a nursing student at Fairfield University, where she met her best friend Caitie Sonnemann. Caitie’s younger brother, Sean, was an MC civil engineer, former Quad editor-in-chief, and on the [Quadrangle] scholarship,” he said. “When I heard about it, I figured I would give news a shot for my senior year of high school, and I joined the school newspaper.” After his application process, Zubrycky was one of five incoming students from the class of 2019 who received the scholarship. He ultimately enrolled at MC, and in his own words, “The rest is history.” Like many who join The Quadrangle, Zubrycky’s first few weeks with the paper were somewhat trying and intimidating. “My high school paper did not take this business as seriously so I was really intimidated for my first few meetings,” he said. “I remember for my first article, that there was a big difference between what I submitted to Michelle [DePinho],
our news editor at the time, and what was in the paper. But it’s an iterative learning process and I eventually got the hang of it.” Eventually, Zubrycky grew to love his work with the paper, and went on to draft successful columns, such as “Manhattan Caucus” for the news section and “It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood” for features. “Manhattan Caucus” won the Quaddie Award for Best Column for the 2016-2017 academic year. “‘Manhattan Caucus’ was one of the most interesting and strangest journeys I have ever been on, and I call it a journey because it was just that, a five week marathon of interviews with random people with twists and turns that would not quit,” Zubrycky said. “Our former faculty advisor Tom Callahan used to say that journalism is the first draft of history, and I hope that students down the line will be able to look back at those articles and understand how bizarre and frankly stomach-turning our politics have been this decade.” “It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood,” however, was not nearly as stressful for Zubrycky to write. In fact, he recalled some great times with friends while writing the column. “As a boy, I had always really romanticized living in New York City and I used the column as a way to take in my new environs and find the beauty in them. I would always bring a couple of my friends along for the ride, and really loved writing those.” During Zubrycky’s time with The Quadrangle, he has held the positions of Staff Writer, Web Editor, Managing Editor and now Senior Writer.
Most notably, however, he served as The Quadrangle’s Editor-in-Chief for the year 2017. However, Zubrycky maintains that the success of the paper during that year was not a solo effort. “It’s always interesting and rewarding to have opportunities to lead the people around you,” Zubrycky said. “There is so much love and so much work poured into each and every issue of this paper, and seeing this process from its center was an eye-opening and uplifting experience. I also cherished the role because it allowed me to grow close with so many people on The Quad’s staff who I may not have grown close to otherwise.” He continued. “Being the Editor means that you’re ultimately responsible for the preservation, defense and operation of this paper. But the ingredients needed for success were all there well before I started, and they’re still here today; it’s really thanks to everyone on our amazing staff and strong tradition that my year as Editor-in-Chief, and every year that I’ve been with The Quad for that matter, was successful.” As a four-year member of The Quadrangle, Zubrycky has written countless articles on limitless subjects. However, there was one article he wrote as Editor-in-Chief during Fall 2017 that particularly struck a chord with him. “My favorite article that I’ve ever written was “Gujarati Girls,” which was a profile on two Hindu roommates, Roma Parikh and Shivani Patel,” he said. “It was an idea that I came up with, and I reached out to them on a whim and had a whole two-hour conversation with them about faith and
The Quadrangle loves Steve. Steve loves the Quadrangle back, this much. STEPHEN ZUBRYCKY / THE QUADRANGLE
Steve has held a total of five positions on the Quadrangle team. STEPHEN ZUBRYCKY / THE QUADRANGLE
friendship. It was a fun, heartwarming piece that was very fun to write and even more fun to read. More important, I learned a lot from that story. And those are the best pieces really, the ones where you leave them a fuller writer and person.” But The Quadrangle is just one of many activities Zubrycky enjoys. He is an avid explorer of New York City and a lover of good food, and the two often go hand in hand. “In case you haven’t seen my reviews, I’m a Level Six local guide on Google Maps, so I love to photograph and think critically about the food I eat,” he said. “If you need any recommendations, let me know. Full disclosure: I am a proud member of the vocal and enlightened minority that prefers Goodfella’s to Broadway Joe’s, but that’s a whole story in and of itself.” Zubrycky is also a selfprofessed politics junkie, and it was from this interest which Manhattan Caucus was born. Zubrycky takes it upon himself to be The Quadrangle’s go-toguy for all things politics. “I am very very into politics, and I enjoy reading, thinking, discussing and complaining about what is happening in the world and our country,” he said. “During the lead-up to election season, I always carry around voter registration forms with me in my backpack in case I end up meeting or talking to someone who is not registered to vote.” Upon his graduation, Zubrycky will begin working in civil engineering at STV Inc. in New York City. Before
then, however, he will return to Camp Reynal with Jaspers Take Texas for the fourth consecutive year. “I’m very excited because this year a few of us plan to drive down and make stops along the way,” he said. Looking further ahead, Zubrycky hopes to combine his academic interests and outside interests. “I want to continue to pursue my interest in infrastructure and development. I’m considering pursuing a masters of urban planning or masters of public policy, with the goal of entering a public service or policy role in the future,” he said. But even though Zubrycky’s next chapter is one which is outside the field of journalism, The Quadrangle has certainly been an unforgettable learning experience for him. “One thing that I’ve learned with The Quad is that truth is important and powerful,” Zubrycky said. “I’ve written several stories with the paper where I’ve had to dig deep and crack into that hard shell that sometimes shrouds the truth. People will try and twist and turn you any way they can to control the truth and drive the story where they want. It makes for difficult editorial judgments on our end. These are decisions I had never been involved with or aware of until I joined The Quad, and being a part of the process has made me not only a better editor, but a more critical reader and stronger citizen.”
APRIL 2, 2019
Arts & Entertainment
21
From Spain to Brooklyn:
Exploring Spanish Music with Daniel Garcia Maria Thomas Asst. News Editor
On Tuesday, March 26, students and faculty flooded Hayden 100 to watch musician and adjunct music professor Daniel Garcia play guitar in an event entitled “Music from Spain and South America.” During the event, which was sponsored by the modern languages department, students became entranced by the soft and fluid rhythm of Garcia’s music, with some members of the audience even swaying back and force in their seats. The event was held to showcase music from Spanish and South American cultures and teach students about the tradition this music holds. Garcia is originally from Madrid, Spain and holds a master’s degree in classical guitar performance from the Cincinnati Conserva-
tory of Music. “This event made me appreciate Spanish music more. I hadn’t really heard much Spanish music prior to this event so it was pretty new to me, but I enjoyed it as I was listening. I like the variety of music that Daniel played from different Spanish speaking countries. My favorite part of the event was the group of songs that he played by Francisco Tárrega.” said freshman Calista Baker, who attended the event. In addition to the songs by Francisco Tárrega, Garcia featured a broad scope of music, with other selections from Jose Luis Merlin, Heitor Villa-Lobos, Agustin Barrios, Leo Brower and Roland Dyens. In contrast to Baker, freshman Sean Tierney said, “I wouldn’t say I had a favorite part because the music was entertaining the entire time. I enjoyed the entire event and can not pick out one specific piece
that was my favorite”. Tierney originally attended the event as a requirement for his Spanish class, but was grateful to have witnessed Garcia play. “To me, his music exemplifies the diversity of Hispanic culture,” Tierney said. “Many of the songs were from different countries and all had their own similarities and differences. This event did influence my opinion of Hispanic music because it wasn’t what I was expecting. Going in, I was expecting some fast-paced music, but I was surprised when the guitarist played slow-paced music. I didn’t realize there was such a big selection of music like this so it was good to gain a better understanding of Hispanic music.” As a performer, Garcia plays guitar for the Argentinean singer “Coral” and Mexican/Middle-eastern singer “Nuriya.”
He is an active member of the band “BRUXOS,” a Brazilian/ world music band. and he is the co-founder of CaneliBeat, a project that explores flamenco elements with a New York influence. Daniel also performs solo guitar all over New York City and beyond. One audience member, freshman Lisa Tyrrell, said, “I attended this event originally because I had to do one of my cultural events that I needed for Spanish class. However, once I saw it was a concert with Spanish music, I was immediately excited and knew I wanted to go. I love anything music! Prior to this event I hadn’t heard of Daniel Garcia, but I’m glad I do now! Daniel’s music sparked a new love for the guitar in me, as cliche as it sounds. He made me want to learn even more about the other types of music that are played in Spanish, Latin and South American areas.”
The guitarist has lived New York since 1998, and has made it a goal to educate others about Spanish and South American music since coming to the United States. In addition to his position at Manhattan College, Garcia teaches at the Brooklyn Music Factory and holds a private teaching studio out of his home in Brooklyn. Tyrrell said, “This event is important to Manhattan College. I personally believe that music is very important in today’s society in connecting people, and it is a good way for people to learn about different cultures. Because of this event, I feel as if I know more about the Spanish and South American culture.”
Mystery and Family in Anaya’s “Bless Me, Ultima” THE BOOK NOOK Rose Brennan A&E Editor
As part of my New Year’s resolution, I decided to read more books considered “classics.” I originally rolled my eyes at the “classics” when I was in middle and high school, but now that I am a bit older, I have a newfound appreciation for them, especially when they are as immersive and enthralling as Rudolfo Anaya’s “Bless Me, Ultima.” “Bless Me, Ultima” is narrated by a boy named Antonio Marez Luna, and primarily follows his relationships with his family and with a curandera, or witch doctor by the name of Ultima. Ultima, or La Grande as Antonio’s mother calls her, has special ties to the family because she delivered all six of Antonio’s mother’s children, with Antonio as the final child she delivered. “Bless Me, Ultima” often uses flashbacks and dream sequences in order to provide the reader with a more all-encompassing experience and to overcome the shortcomings that are inherent with a firstperson narrator. For example, the reader learns of a deep familial rift between Antonio’s father and mother during a flashback to the day of Anto-
nio’s birth. Antonio’s father wants his son to be an adventurer, while his mother wants nothing more than for Antonio to be a priest. But Ultima intervenes, and states that only she will know his fate. Years later, Ultima arrives at Antonio’s house in New Mexico in order to live out her final days with the Marez family. Antonio, now approaching seven years old, is originally intimidated by Ultima, but they soon grow to have a special relationship, contrasting greatly with the constant disagreements of his parents. Originally, Antonio is very close to his mother in his younger years, and wants nothing more than to please her. He begins to internalize the idea of becoming a priest, but that worldview is disrupted by Ultima and by some of his friends at school, he then becomes unsure and disillusioned with the Church. However, he does find peace within Ultima’s spirituality, cementing their bond as friends. However, Ultima the curandera is not without enemies, the most dangerous of them being Tenorio, a saloon-owner with three daughters. He and his three daughters perform a Black Mass and curse Antonio’s uncle Lucas. Tenorio becomes a sworn enemy when
he discovers that Ultima lifted the curse on Lucas, and vows revenge against her when one of his daughters dies after the curse is lifted. He is a formidable enemy, and Antonio is terrified of him, but Ultima refuses to be afraid and continues to do her craft. Antonio’s coming-of-age story is something that will resonate with a reader of any age. The same struggles of fulfilling one’s parents’ hopes and dreams, disillusionment with religion and forging one’s own unique path remain issues that readers must confront every day. And seeing Antonio confront those very same things proves to the reader that he or she is not alone in those formidable struggles. “Bless Me, Ultima” is truly a masterpiece in terms of Chicano literature, and remains one of the most widely read pieces within the genre. And it is for good reason. It has been awhile since I personally have read a book in which I can be truly immersed and not get distracted. Antonio’s journey, along with the book’s poetic and descriptive language, in both English and Spanish, created a reading experience that I will not soon forget. I read much of this book going back and forth to the city on the subway, and I can honestly
say I do not remember a single second of any of those rides. I only remember “Bless Me, Ultima” and Antonio’s journey into manhood.
“Bless Me, Ultima” is truly a masterpiece in Chicano literature. ROSE BRENNAN / THE QUADRANGLE
Arts & Entertainment
22
THE QUADRANGLE
Urinetown’s Tech Crew Approache Shannon Gleba Staff Writer
The Manhattan College Players are entering the final stages in preparation for Urinetown, their spring mainstage musical, and the technical crew is hard at work in ensuring that the show will run smoothly during performances on April 11, 12 and 14. Since the start of November, the club has been working on the musical, from conceptual discussions to auditions, casting and rehearsals. Overall, the show is almost completely student-run, with the exception of four postgraduate members of the team. Junior Alexander Kelly is a Production Manager, Stage Designer and Stage Manager for Urinetown and has been able to strengthen his skills in performing arts since joining the group at the start of his freshman year. As Production Manager, Kelly’s responsibilities are integral to helping the show become the best it can be. “In Players specifically, I am the production manager, which requires me to manage shows and make sure that things from the technical perspective are getting done. So, managing schedules, managing our outside designers that come in, helping with the rehearsal schedule and when we bring in wood orders or paint orders, helping with that stuff,” said Kelly. In addition, Kelly is in his third year as a Stage Manager for Players and he has been able to hone the necessary skills for the job. Kelly said, “I am also stage managing the show, there is a lot of overlap with Production Manager. Stage Manager is more along the lines of being
The tech crew has been hard at work to ensure that the show will run smoothly during performances. MANHATTAN COLLEGE PLAYERS / COURTESY in rehearsal, taking blocking notes and making sure the actors know their lines, stuff like that. When it comes to the show, it is actually running the show. What a Stage Manager does is called ‘calling a show’ and they are telling people, ‘Okay, this cue needs to go now’ for lights, sound or if they need to help people backstage getting things on and off.” Likewise, as Stage Designer, Kelly is able to use the knowledge he has learned in his civil engineering courses and apply it to both stage managing and creating the set.
------------------------
“It is definitely weird thinking about how my major is completely science and I am doing theater, but I really like the balance that is gives me because my academics are really difficult, then I can come to rehearsal and just focus on that for a few hours. It’s a nice break,” said Ronan. ------------------------
“These jobs are very much about organization, and especially Stage Manager is about organization and being on top of your stuff and those skills you apply to civil engineering because if you are not organized and not on top our your stuff, you are going to get behind and you don’t want to do that.” He continued. “In terms of set design, I tend to approach that with basically the mentality of ‘Can we build it?’ And in my civil engineering background, we take a lot of structural analysis classes and various fun things that kind of help me to say, ‘Okay we can do this because it is going to be able to carry the weight of this person or it can stand up on its own.’” In order to effectively manage the shows, Kelly works with many other members of the crew including Urinetown’s producer. This year, junior Kathryn Ronan is Players’ producer and has been hard at work producing Urinetown, as well as the club’s other shows. As the producer, which is equivalent to the club’s president, Ronan wears many different hats when organizing the show consisting of 19 cast members and around 20 technical crew members. “I help make rehearsal schedules for blocking, choreography and music. So, it involves a lot of coordination between the actors and the different members of the production team, I run rehears-
als, keep blocking notes. Then, during the shows I am going to be backstage facilitating the set changes,” said Ronan. As a physics major, Ronan appreciates the fact that at MC she is able to be both part of a scientific major as well as the performing arts. “It is definitely weird thinking about how my major is completely science and I am doing theater, but I really like the balance that is gives me because my academics are really difficult, then I can come to rehearsal and just focus on that for a few hours. It’s a nice break,” said Ronan. In the upcoming days, Players will be entering what is called “tech week,” a time for the crew to iron out any issues with lighting, set and any other technical components of the show. During tech week, Ronan will be working backstage. “I am going to be backstage and my jobs for that are making sure all of the set pieces go out on time and making sure the actors are where they are supposed to be at each time, and just organizing things back there,” said Ronan. Kelly gave an extensive rundown of what tech week will look like for Players. “Tech week always tends to be a stressful thing. But, it generally starts the Friday before or the Thursday before. So, we start using all of our rehearsal spaces at that point, we have the Black Box and Smith Auditorium. We will be kind of in and out of Smith Audito-
rium throughout that day kind of based on whether or not we are putting up the lights for that show or finishing that up, and kind of getting that and the sound stuff ready. So, we have mics and all that jazz. Then, [the cast] will be rehearsing upstairs, so I do not actually know where I will be that day because a lot’s going on.” He continued. “Then, on Saturday we will be doing what’s called ‘dry tech’ and dry tech is basically a way for all of the tech people to get their stuff done in terms of light cues and sound cues, and kind of having people stand their in place for what they need to do. Meanwhile, the actors will be having one of their sitzprobe. And sitzprobe is when the pit and actors sing and perform together for one of the first times and knock out those kinks. Sunday, we will run a cue to cue which is just going from cue to cue and making sure everything is working and that night we will have a run of the show.” Junior English and philosophy double major Gabrielle Kasper, Players’ assistant director also shares similar sentiments about the stress of tech week, but also enjoys the excitement of the musical coming together. “Tech week is crazy for everyone. It is like a fun type of crazy though, because the air is buzzing with excitement, anticipation and a lot of nerves. I try to prepare myself for any-
APRIL 2, 2019
Arts & Entertainment
23
es “Tech Week” with Enthusiasm thing that might happen and just keep a positive attitude overall. I usually end up taking a copious amount of notes for our director to give to actors as we put the finishing touches on the show. I also just try to lend a helping hand wherever I can, I might end up running to RiteAid to get an ace bandage if someone sprains their ankle or needs cough drops. My goal in tech week is to just make sure the actors are in the best shape possible for the show, and sometimes that also just means reminding someone that they are doing an awesome job and that their hard work is appreciated,” said Kasper. As Assistant Director, Kasper’s job spans many different aspects of the show and this is the fourth MainStage show she will be assistant directing. Kasper said, “As the Assistant Director, I have various responsibilities such as taking notes for the director, standing in for actors who couldn’t attend the rehearsal that day, helping give creative advice to the director, etc.” As of now, the club in a great position and is in the final push to finish putting the show together. Kelly said, “Now in the process, the set is pretty much done, build-wise we are doing a lot of scenic elements, like signs and painting, detail work is the best way to describe it. In rehearsal, we are running the show, knocking out the kinks and making sure everyone knows their lines and things like that.” Ronan also agrees that Players is on the right track towards their performances come the start of April. “We are in really good
Junior Manhattan College students Alexander Kelly (LEFT) and Kathryn Ronan (RIGHT) serve as Production Manager and Stage Manager, respectively. MANHATTAN COLLEGE PLAYERS / COURTESY shape right now, we are already doing full runs of each act before spring break which is really good for us. It has been really nice seeing how it is all coming together and I am really excited to see it all pay off in April,” said Ronan. All in all, despite all of the time and work the students in Players put into their shows, the payoff is far greater than they could imagine. Kelly, Ronan and Kasper all appreciate the close relationships the cast and crew are able to form throughout the months of hard work. “It is a fantastic community that continues to grow each year, especially this year we have a great freshman class, they are awesome and do a lot of cool stuff,” said Kelly.
Ronan shared Kelly’s sentiments “I have met some of my best friends through Players and I just love being there,” said Ronan. Kasper in particular has found the stressful environment of tech week to be conducive to formulating bonds among the cast and crew. “I have always found that there is a special kind of bond that develops between people when they come together to put on a show. The hours are long, we often start rehearsals late and sometimes we don’t end until midnight, and it is hard work, but in the end, it is always worth it. Everyone involved in Players productions devotes every drop of energy and passion that they have into
create the best show possible and it is truly just an amazing thing to be a part of,” said Kasper. Players invites the MC community to come out and see their production of Urinetown, and hopes the audience enjoys the show. “I am really excited for people to see the cast, I think they have been working super hard and all of them are doing a lot of great stuff with their characters and whatnot. And I think it is a really fun show, a really fun story, it takes these archetypes of characters and puts them in non-archetypal situations and really puts the story on its head, essentially,” said Kelly Kasper agreed. “I am really excited to see the audience’s reactions to
this show. Urinetown isn’t the most well-known show and I think that people will be really surprised by what they see in this show. Urinetown is absolutely hilarious, and I can’t wait for the actors to hear the audience’s inevitable laughter.” Editor’s Note: The News Editor of The Quadrangle, Gabriella DePinho, more commonly known as “Gabs,” is a member of stage crew and dance captain for Manhattan College’s production of Urinetown.
------------------------
“Everyone involved in Players productions devotes every drop of energy and passion that they have into create the best show possible and it is truly just an amazing thing to be a part of,” said Kasper. ------------------------
Two tech crew members working on the set for Urinetown. MANHATTAN COLLEGE PLAYERS / COURTESY
Sports
24
THE QUADRANGLE
Chris Woodhouse: MAAC Field Performer of the Week JASPER TALK Katie Hennegen Asst. Features Editor
Senior Pole Vaulter and Computer Science major Chris Woodhouse had a major win at last week’s VCU meet. He was named MAAC Field Performer of the week and was selected for the MAAC All-Academic team. In his senior season, Woodhouse spoke to The Quadrangle about his current success and aspirations for the remainder of the season. The Quadrangle: How long have you been doing Track and Field? Chris Woodhouse: I have been doing Track and Field since the fifth grade. TQ: When did you start pole vaulting, and how did you develop this specialization? CW: I started pole vaulting when I was a freshman in high school. So this is my eighth year of vaulting. It started in high school where my coach was telling all the freshmen that we had to try all the field events, so it just started when he looked at me and said, “Chris you look like a pole vaulter.” I picked it up and started getting good at it and it took off from there. TQ: Why did you choose Manhattan College? CW: I chose Manhattan College because it was allowing me to pursue pole vault, and a lot of the other schools I looked at didn’t have that possibility, and that was a major influence. Also, when I came here for a visit and I stepped on campus I knew this was the
Woodhouse spoke to The Quadrangle about his current success and aspirations for the remainder of the season. GOJASPERS/ COURTESY
place for me. TQ: What is your favorite part about being a Division 1 athlete? CW: Definitely the team the camaraderie is a big aspect of why I like track. It’s a very individual sport where it comes down to it and it’s just me on the runway, but at the end of the day you have your whole team. When you go to championship season it’s not just about you it’s a bigger purpose. It’s definitely a unique thing we have for track and field. TQ:Do you face any challenges as a student-athlete?
CW: Absolutely time management. You have to be able to schedule everything you do with classes and work and practice and everything alike. Once you get that down it’s easy from there. TQ: What is your favorite part about being a Jasper? CW: Definitely rocking the kelly green. I’m all about our colors - it’s very different from my high school’s black and gold. TQ: Do you have any favorite memories from your track and field career? CW: Definitely this week!
Getting MAAC field performer of the week was a big surprise and a very pleasant one. Placing third at MAACs this year and getting big points for the team and my first medal. That was a nice accomplishment I was very proud of. TQ: What do you hope to accomplish in the remainder of your senior season? CW: For the remainder of the season, it’s to jump as high as I can. I’d like to get gold at MAACs, that’s the goal. TQ: Do you have any premeet rituals that you do before every meet?
CW: I’m a pretty simple guy. A lot of people like listening to music and stuff, I just talk to anyone that will listen to me! TQ: What are your plans after graduating? CW: After graduating I will start full time work with FBI as a computer scientist. I work for them part time during the and once I graduate I will start full time in New York.
Interested in Sports Photography? The Quadrangle Needs You! WE’RE LOOKING FOR EXPERIENCED PHOTOGRAPHERS TO AT T END GAMES AND AT HLET IC EVENTS. BUILD YOUR PORT FOLIO WIT H US! Email us at thequad@manhattan.edu to be added to the photography email list.