BeyondSobriety: UnveilingtheLayersofHealing

By Shelby Phoenix

It all began with stolen sips from my parent's liquor cabinet during my early teenage years

Seeking solace and escape, I found comfort in the secrecy of drinking alone and carrying small amounts into the bathroom during my showers But the ill-fated celebration of my 15th birthday, drowning in tequila-induced darkness, left me terrified and temporarily sober Little did I know, this would be the first step in a long and tumultuous journey

As the years passed, my relationship with alcohol took a treacherous turn By the time I reached 18, drinking became a daily occurrence, a way to numb the pain and bury my insecurities I reveled in the chaos, embracing the lifestyle of wild parties and relentless intoxication Blackouts became a haunting norm, and the lines between reality and oblivion blurred relentlessly

In the midst of my relentless pursuit of intoxication, two significant events - belief that alcohol was my stress reliever led to a relapse when I embarked on a new career as a high school teacher

Brief periods of sobriety peppered my journey, often spurred by external circumstances On one occasion, prescribed medication that could not be mixed with alcohol forced a temporary respite During that time, I experienced the clarity and relief that accompanies abstinence However, the allure of old habits and the persistent belief that alcohol was my stress reliever led to a relapse when I embarked on a new career as a high school teacher

In 2021, a glimmer of hope appeared during Dry January The clarity I experienced during that month motivated me to experiment further, to stay away from alcohol until the urge to drink arose Five months of sobriety followed, but then, a fateful encounter with a bottle of wine left in my fridge shattered my progress

The subsequent morning was filled with regret, missed commitments, and physical torment a wake-up call I couldn't ignore.

The realization hit hard: alcohol was merely a symptom, a band-aid I used to conceal deeper wounds. My commitment to sobriety paved the way for a profound self-discovery. Seeking professional help, I embarked on a journey of therapy and psychiatry. A revelation unfolded the true underlying issues were bipolar disorder, CPTSD, ADHD, and a non-verbal learning disability The withdrawal of alcohol unmasked these struggles, causing my mind to spiral in panic

Armed with this newfound understanding, I began the genuine healing process Treating my mental health conditions became a priority Therapy sessions and consultations with a psychiatrist guided me toward effective strategies and medications In the absence of alcohol, I confronted my traumas, honed healthy coping mechanisms, and learned to identify and express my emotions in safe and constructive ways

August marks two years of alcohol-free living, and the journey has been transformative By making the courageous choice to step away from alcohol, I reclaimed my life and embraced newfound passions Building on the solid foundation of sobriety, I started my own business, became selfemployed, and pursued my love for yoga, coaching, and social media marketing

Becoming alcohol-free was just the first step on a path to holistic healing My story teaches us that healing is not a linear process but an intricate tapestry of self-discovery, resilience, and selfcompassion By shedding the false crutch of alcohol, I unraveled layers of pain, emerging stronger, and more authentic than ever before