Michael D. Baumgartner “Surgeries, Mario, and Civics”
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Letter from the editor Dear Reader, Thank you for taking the time to reading my portfolio I hope you enjoy it and it serves as the thought provoking piece I intend it be. My goal with this portfolio is to show a little bit about my life, my medical history and family and then share some of my opinions on the important issue of civics. As someone who has had over 70 surgeries, I know they have had a strong impact on me and the way in which I face life. I feel as though it has made me a more mature person who has a unique and expansive insight on something not many people experience. This impact is in part why I picked that experience to describe in my sensory details essay. I also picked it because the assignment had to do with sensory detail, and I have always noticed that going through a surgery is an extreme sensory test that adds to the atmosphere. Family has always been important to me, and I have a great relationship with my sister, Noel, so when it came time to do an essay on the voice of a family member, she was a great choice. I was able to tell a great story through this and include some humor, adding a different type of writing then I would normally embark on. Finally, civics is something that I have been working on for nearly a year now and I have developed a strong passion for it. That is why when it came time to do a unique essay with a special perspective, I chose a civics op-ed. This op-ed is something I do hope to use in a publication/research piece I am working on to address the broader civics topic, so it was a great fit to begin this process through the assignment. I hope that the pieces in this portfolio make you think about experiences and issues that maybe don’t cross your mind every day or remind you to look at things through a different lens when the opportunity comes. Best, Michael D. Baumgartner
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Table Of Contents Table of Contents Letter from the editor..............................................................................................................2 Table Of Contents....................................................................................................................3 Sensory Detail Essay Pre-Write................................................................................................4 Sensory Detail Essay Rough Draf............................................................................................5 Sensory Detail Revision...........................................................................................................8 Surgical Sensory Reflection....................................................................................................11 An Average Summer’s Day Pre-Write.....................................................................................12 An Average Summer’s Day Rough Draf.................................................................................12 An Average Summer Day Revision.........................................................................................14 An Average Summer’s Day Reflection....................................................................................16 Op-Ed Pre - Write...................................................................................................................16 Op-Ed Rough Draf:...............................................................................................................18 Civics Op-Ed Revision:............................................................................................................20 Civics Op-Ed Reflection..........................................................................................................22 Semester Reflection...............................................................................................................24 Author Bio.............................................................................................................................27
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Sensory Detail Essay Pre-Write I have been there over seventy times in my life, and that alone make it weird. It’s always a blur of people every time and the memories after so long fade into one, with specific times I remember providing the strongest images. I have been in them all over the country, but with no windows, they all feel the same. What makes each different however, in the sea of masks gowns, is the doctor your planned with…
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Sensory Detail Essay Rough Draft One of the most interesting experiences one can have is going into an operation and I have endured that experience over 70 times. Many of these times occurred when I was very little and do not remember, however probably 30+ of them I was old enough to remember. The entire process of surgery is exhausting, often starting very early in the day and not fully ending until late afternoon/early evening, then you begin the healing process. This experience is full of sensory details, with strange scenes, scents, feeling, and yes, even tastes, that have a profound effect on the individual. This essay will be a montage of the strongest images from past surgeries which will attempt to describe the experience chronologically. If one is lucky, their surgery happens early in the morning, with an arrival time of between 5-7 and a start time between 7-9, which will lead to a very early rise. The options for awakening can go from the ever-increasing screeching of an alarm or a soft knock and the voice of a parent saying that it’s almost time to go (there’s no need to wake up any earlier because you can’t eat breakfast and there’s no need to shower). After quickly brushing my teeth, it’s time to go to the hospital, historically, there are two ways to go, walking or driving. In the early 2000s, my family lived in Phoenix and would fly to the east for procedures at Boston Children’s Hospital. We often stayed in a hotel across the street from the hospital with a huge food court below, needless to say, at 5:00 or earlier, none were open. I distinctly remember the consistent near-dead silence, as the only noise was the clack of our shoes clicking the floor and the occasional janitor walk by as we made our way across the street for check-in. It’s a unique experience to make this walk, there is a natural yearning for more sleep, yet the anxiety of being so close to the answers and/or result produced by a procedure does not allow us to fully acknowledge how tired we truly are. As our Phoenix-based family steps out into the 5:00 am
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Boston breeze, all sense of exhaustion is wiped away and replaced by growing anxiety, as a bustling city just getting on its way to work, and a brightly lit hospital is glaring down upon us. By the way, except for being at your home and having a few more people to text when your friends are in the same time zone, the drive when you live close doesn’t provoke any different feelings, same internal silence, same bustling city. The calm before the relative storm has ended. I have been there 70 times and that alone makes pre-op the weirdest place I have ever been. Everything after check-in for me is always a blur, but the same steps are always the same, I’ll say goodbye to whoever has come with me, outside of my parents, and the three of us will leave the glass waiting room where many other patients are still waiting and depart behind the doorways into pre-op. After my family and I head back, we begin in a regular doctor’s room, no different from one someone would get a checkup in with a bright fluorescent light shining down and maybe a few more monitors, I can hear the rustling of the stupid paper on the bed as I make my way up there, my leg tears it some, but it’s fine. We review my allergies, weight, and height, as well as make sure that my vitals are good to go. Next, I meet the anesthesiologist who will be working with me that day. His eyes widen as I explain to him my complex history and how I know what works and what doesn’t medicine-wise. After a quick review of all this is time for the next stop, which is pre-op. I am told to get ready for the operation and lay on the bed, after the hordes of nurses, anesthesiologists, and doctors start coming in. It’s not intimidating, but certainly, a tad overwhelming as questions are asked and everyone is checking to ensure that all parties are aware of what is scheduled to happen during the operation. As I lay back and answer the questions, I can’t help but get a little tired, I’ll soon be asleep I think to myself, as I look to my parents, who will get no such nap. My doctor walks in right before it’s time to go and says hello
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to everybody, we have a light conversation (the same one I’ve had with everyone else). I ask a question, he answers, smiles, and says “see you in there”. As I hear him say it, I know he says it literally because I surely will not see him, as doctors are usually washing up when the patient is first brought into the OR. Just as the door closes, it opens again, this time it’s the anesthesiologist from the checkup room with the IV. After 70 surgeries, some under more stressful situations than others, I have developed some anxiety about the mask and surgeries in general, so a small sedative is used to ensure I am calm. I hear the beeping and voices around me, as they prep to move me into the next room and feel my brain get fuzzy as the anesthesiologist puts the IV into my arm. I feel the cold metal bars go up as they brush by my arm and tell my parents goodbye as the nurses start to move me down the hall. The trip is quick and fun, as everyone jokes around, Dilaudid will have that effect on a person. The big double doors open and there are bright lights everywhere, as is the anesthesiologist from before. He preps to put the mask on, but I ask to hold it instead, he disagrees, and we compromise, by putting it on my chest. The root beer scent is false and tainted by a strong sense= of plastic, I’m told to count back from ten but we just keep having a good time with conversations instead. Then I'm asleep just as my doctor comes in and says hello. Surgeries are weird.
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Sensory Detail Revision Surgical Sensory Experiences One of the most interesting experiences one can have is going into an operation and I have endured that experience over 70 times. Many of these times occurred when I was very little and do not remember, however probably 30 plus of them I was old enough to remember. The entire process of surgery is exhausting, often starting very early in the day and not fully ending until late afternoon/early evening, then you begin the healing process. This experience is full of sensory details, with strange scenes, scents, feelings, and yes, even tastes, that have a profound effect on the individual. If one is lucky, their surgery happens early in the morning, with an arrival time of between 5-7 and a start time between 7-9, which will lead to a very early rise. The options for awakening can go from the ever-increasing screeching of an alarm or a soft knock and the voice of a parent saying that it’s almost time to go (there’s no need to wake up any earlier because you can’t eat breakfast and there’s no need to shower). After quickly brushing my teeth, it’s time to go to the hospital. Historically, there are two ways to go, walking or driving. In the early 2000s, my family lived in Phoenix and would fly to the east for procedures at Boston Children’s Hospital. We often stayed in a hotel across the street from the hospital with a huge food court below, needless to say, at 5:00 or earlier, none were open. I distinctly remember the consistent near-dead silence, as the only noise was the clack of our shoes clicking the floor and the occasional janitor walking by as we made our way across the street for check-in. It’s a unique experience to make this walk, there is a natural yearning for more sleep, yet the anxiety of being so close to the answers and/or result produced by a procedure does not allow us to fully acknowledge how tired we truly are.
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As our Phoenix-based family steps out into the Boston breeze, all sense of exhaustion is wiped away and replaced by growing anxiety, as a bustling city just getting on its way to work, and a brightly lit hospital is glaring down upon us. We take the brisk walk across the street to the hospital and see it’s fluorescent lights glaring down on us. As we walk through the revolving doors, a flurry of new sensory elements flow through. I hear the entertainment machines placed int lobby ringing and can smell the coffee coming from the Au Bon Pain Cafeteria. It’s hard because while you can almost imagine the taste of the cinnamon rolls and coffee being cooked inside, you can’t eat or drink anything. It’s just a struggle to get through the lobby and into the elevator. The calm before the relative storm has ended. I have been there 70 times and that alone makes pre-op the weirdest place I have ever been. Everything after check-in for me is always a blur, but the same steps are always the same, I’ll say goodbye to whoever has come with me, outside of my parents, and the three of us will leave the glass waiting room where many other patients are still waiting and depart behind the doorways into pre-op. After my family and I head back, we begin in a regular doctor’s room, no different from one someone would get a checkup in with a bright fluorescent light shining down and maybe a few more monitors, I can hear the rustling of the stupid paper on the bed as I make my way up there, my leg tears it some, but it’s fine. We review my allergies, weight, and height, as well as make sure that my vitals are good to go. Next, I meet the anesthesiologist who will be working with me that day. His eyes widen as I explain to him my complex history and how I know what works and what doesn’t medicine wise. After a quick review of all this is time for the next stop, which is pre-op. I am told to get ready for the operation and lay on the bed, after the hordes of nurses, anesthesiologists, and doctors start coming in. It’s not intimidating, but certainly, a tad
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overwhelming as questions are asked and everyone is checking to ensure that all parties are aware of what is scheduled to happen during the operation. As I lay back and answer the questions, I can’t help but get a little tired, I’ll soon be asleep I think to myself, as I look to my parents, who will get no such nap. My doctor walks in right before it’s time to go and says hello to everybody, we have a light conversation (the same one I’ve had with everyone else). I ask a question, he answers, smiles, and says “see you in there”. As I hear him say it, I know he says it literally because I surely will not see him, as doctors are usually washing up when the patient is first brought into the OR. Just as the door closes, it opens again, this time it’s the anesthesiologist from the checkup room with the IV. After 70 surgeries, some under more stressful situations than others, I have developed some anxiety about the mask and surgeries in general, so a small sedative is used to ensure I am calm. I hear the beeping and voices around me, as they prepare to move me into the next room and feel my brain gets fuzzy as the medicine flows from IV into my arm. I lean back as the smell of the sterile wipes, alcohol, and what I believe but cannot confirm to be the medicine itself floods my nostrils. There’s a taste as well that is almost indescribable that occurs as well once the medicine is in. I honestly cannot recall it exactly. I feel the cold metal bars go up as they brush by my arm and tell my parents goodbye as the nurses start to move me down the hall. The trip is quick and fun, as everyone jokes around, Dilaudid will have that effect on a person. The big double doors open and there are bright lights everywhere, as is the anesthesiologist from before. I can once again smell just a general sense of sterilization, ORs are one of the cleanest rooms in a hospital. The air is cool because the keep the temperature down for the doctors, I am given a fuzzy blanket as they bring me from one bed to the other. The anesthesiologist prepares to put the mask on, but I ask to hold it instead, he disagrees, and we
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compromise, by putting it on my chest. Once the mask is on, the first scent is one of root beer scent tainted by a strong sense of plastic. Then, they turn on the gas and the roboteer turns to the uniquely disgusting taste of anesthetic, with a continued dry plastic. I’m told to count back from ten but we just keep having a good time with conversations instead. Then I'm asleep just as my doctor comes in and says hello. Surgeries are weird.
Surgical Sensory Reflection Overall, my peers and the Professor thought I wrote a strong essay, so I was lucky in that I did not have to do too many revisions to my original piece. When I first started writing this, I wanted to choose an event that was unique in its sensory details, and I know that exactly what surgeries are. In my rough draft, I was able to describe the experience in a way that my peers and professor were able to clearly understand, and even put themselves into. That being said, I did take the advice of my peers and the Professor to make some productive edits. For starters, I was able to fix several grammatical areas and break up a paragraph, as I believe both Ben and Bryce recommended. The most helpful piece of feedback I received from Ben and Bryce was that there was not enough said about taste and smell. To add this, I took out a section that it was determined to be out of place anyway and added some more about café smells as I was walking into the lobby of the hospital. I also talk about how one cannot eat anything before going into surgery, so taste isn’t something there is much. However, when walking through the lobby, there is certainly one can almost taste the coffee and cinnamon rolls being made in the Au Bon Pain (horrible name for a hospital café). I also took some advice from the Professor and added some more details from inside the operating room that I feel add to the experience. I wrote some about the sterilizing smell as was suggested by Ben and about the cold temperature that exists within the operating room, as well
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as the fuzzy blanket given. I did this because I wanted to put some more about touch in this section and give the reader a good perspective on what it’s like to be wheeled in while in the condition, I am in. I also put some more about taste when it comes to the way that the mask, roboteer scent, and gas from the anesthetic and the indescribable taste one gets when having an IV put into them.
An Average Summer’s Day Pre-Write My brother is one of my best friends, I just wish he would stay out of my room. He comes in all the time asking about what I want to make for dinner… I don’t know… If you want something specific, go make it… I love my brother, he’s smart, but talks way too much politics though. I really love beating him in Mario party on the Wii.
An Average Summer’s Day Rough Draft I woke up, got ready, and got my work done, now it’s noon and time to go downstairs and see everyone. As I leave my room, I look to see my brother’s door open, his computers on with dual monitors lit clear the hall. Great, he’s still working. I go downstairs say hi to mom, who’s working, and go into the kitchen where dad and Michael are having lunch. “Hey, what up,” I say as I walk in, “not much” they both reply and ask how my work is going “it’s done, Mikey, you want to play Mario when you’re done?”. “Sure, not sure when that will be today, got a few meetings”. I sigh and make a Digorno while he goes back upstairs, his meetings and tasks last hours. My brother is one of my best friends, I just wish he would stay out of my room. He comes in all the time asking what I want to make for dinner and suggesting ideas... I don't know man... if you have an idea, go make it. I love my brother very much, he is super smart, I just wish 12
he would STOP TALKING SO MUCH ABOUT POLITICS. Don’t get me wrong I am happy he’s passionate and doing something he loves, but man, he never stops, and it’s all on the same topics. I really love beating my brother in Mario Party on the Wii, sometimes we play on a team so he can win. I really want to play today because well… I’m bored, I finish lunch, go upstairs, wait in my room, and after a while, I finally hear him get off the phone. “You done yet” I pop my head in and ask as inquisitively as possible. “Not quite still got one more thing I have to get to Megan by the end of the day”. “Whatcha working on,” I say as I go over and sit on his bed behind his chair and desk. He explains that he has to do another paragraph of a report on civics education as I sit on there and listen, then I realize, the longer I question, the longer it will take to get it done. “Well get it done soon, I wanna play,” I say as I leave and go sit in the game room outside. Finally, he walks out and sits down in his chair, I finish the minigame I was doing and go to the main room to let him in. We decide to play together, and I pick Boo, the ghost, he chooses Mario, because he’s boring or as he would put it “likes the classics”. When starting, everyone hits a dice block to decide who goes first, it’s completely random, but I always get the highest number and go first. “ten”, “blue” red” “BOWSER SPACE”, and yelling about minigames are just some of what our parents hear downstairs as we work together in what is way too close a game against Toad and Toadette computers. After about 45 minutes, the match is over, we play a minigame or two and decide we’ve had enough. “Bye,” I say as I am getting up to go back to my room “good game” he replies. “Hey” I hear over my shoulder as I am walking through my door, “What are we going to have for dinner?” …
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An Average Summer Day Revision Noel: Are you finished with your work today? Mike: Yeah, just wrapped up, why what’s up? Noel: Do you wanna play Mario Party? Mike: Yeah, sure set it up I’ll be right out. Noel: I gotta go to my room really quick, you set it up, let’s do Mario Party 7. 5 minutes later Mike: I have the game set up, do you wanna be first or second player. Noel: I’ll be first, do you wanna do minigames or a game? Mike: Let’s just do a game, how many turns should we do? Noel: Let’s do 15, hey Mikey, do you want to go get some snacks before we start? Mike: Yeah, lets head down really quick. Today at work, I had a few meetings and might have to meet with a senator here in the district. Unfortunately, they won’t get back to me, I think they are trying to avoid me. Noel: That’s rough man, why don’t they want to talk to you? Mike: Because I’m trying to get them to do something they don’t want to do but they don’t want to say no. Noel: That’s rude of them. Mike: That’s the way politics goes sometimes. Noel: Politics sucks, good luck on that though. Mike: Yeah, it can sometimes, hey what do you want to do for dinner Noel: Ugh, I don’t know, well deal with it later, do you have some chips? Mike: Yeah. Noel: Lets go back upstairs then. 14
Upstairs Noel: I’m going to be Boo Michael: I’ll be Mario Noel: Your boring Michael: He’s a classic Noel: That was a bad first roll, now were behind the computer Mike: Yeah, I know… at least we got a blue space A minigame later Noel: Hahaha I won the race. Michael: That’s because I hit a shell, I’ll win next time. Noel: At least the computer didn’t win Two rounds later: Mike: Don’t get a 5 that’s a Bowser space Noel: DAMNIT Mike: Not a Bowser space, damn Noel: I’ll do the minigame for us, oh no! It’s the lava one, I’m gonna lose Mike: GO GO GO GO GO GO Noel: I fell 3 Rounds later Noel: Yay! We got our star, now we got five! We’re going to win big time because we’ve also won the minigames and shopped a lot. Mike: Great game, Noel, you going to your room? Noel: Yeah, I think I am going to lie down or call a friend
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Mike: Sounds good, hey Noel? Noel: Yeah? Michael: What’s for dinner?
An Average Summer’s Day Reflection When I first started this piece, the intent was to have it be just a story about myself and my sister playing Mario Party from her perspective, but after speaking with the Professor, this plan changed. We discussed the idea of doing a full dialogue which I think is interesting, but I also feel as though by doing so I still am missing several factors. One of the main concerns my peers expressed was that this maybe did not have enough character development. I feel as though while this does provide some, it could still go the further if I had the time. This is an experiment, and I think it does still accomplish the objectives of the assignment, but a lot more could come from it with some more work. I also had to figure out how much of it to do, which is why there were time jumps. Obviously, a play by play of the game would not have been exciting, nor really shown any true inflection. Therefore, I took a few moments from the experience and laid them out line by line. I hope this was a good enough attempt at this and I would love some feedback on how I could continue to go about it.
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Op-Ed Pre - Write
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Op-Ed Rough Draft: Merriam-Webster defines the citizen as “a person who legally belongs to a country and has the rights and protection of that country”, it is also the most important role of our political system. Some might say that the positions of Senator, Governor, President, or Justice are more important, they would be wrong. In a democracy, the citizen is a voter and has the opportunity, even the obligation, to participate in a way that determines the governance of the state. Being a democratic republic makes America a member of what is still a very small club of nations, that give so much power to the people, but as the saying goes, “with great power, comes great responsibility”. It is not enough to just be an individual who goes and votes, with no knowledge of the people, positions, or system, we must ensure that the goal is to have informed citizens. We the people, in Texas, and around the country, must demand our government make civics education a priority to ensure that young people are being taught how to research problems adequately and make a change in their democracy. Throughout the 87th legislative session, there were almost two dozen civicsrelated bills on the docket here in Texas, and I had the privilege to work with several organizations to push for comprehensive civics education. The goal was to make it so that students here in Texas become more knowledgeable of our democratic system and ideally were introduced to a curriculum that would allow them to get involved in their communities, taking on projects where they interact with leaders to make a change. This was not the final bill that passed, instead, we got HB 3979, which led to the now-infamous memo in Southlake where an administrator suggested that if a teacher is going to teach about the Holocaust, they should also provide an “alternative view”. Needless to say, this is a major step backward, and while the memo was retracted, it shows that the legislature’s attempt to have an impact on civics was a 18
complete failure that only led to more confusion/anger amongst educators. The question Texans and people all across the country need to be asking themselves is why would this law be the one that gets passed and what was the objective of the people who wrote it. The answer is critical race theory and January sixth. If you watched anything about the Virginia Governor’s election, you’ve probably heard the phrase critical race theory (CRT), and maybe even believe that it is being taught in schools, especially considering that the Governor-Elect promises to ban it on his first day in office. Newsflash: A curriculum of critical race theory is not being taught anywhere in the country because it does not exist. Britannica defines critical race theory as an “ intellectual and social movement and loosely organized framework of legal analysis based on the premise that race is not a natural, biologically grounded feature of physically distinct subgroups of human beings but a socially constructed (culturally invented) category that is used to oppress and exploit people of colour”.Conservative pundits and politicians have taken an opposition stance to a higher education theory, or framework that says what many already see as fact, that the racial divide in this country, or anywhere else is due to institutional problems made by people who did not see all people as equal. It also says that some of those institutional barriers still exist today. While this is an important conversation to have as a society and we all should do what we can to break down these barriers, it is not in our schools. What is in our schools is history, and we need to ensure we are teaching an accurate history of our county. That is how we live up to the American dream. In the 88th session and in local school boards across the state, we must demand that our community leaders continue to advocate for engaging civics to be taught and, regardless of its
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uncomfortably and work hard to ensure that students are being taught their obligations as a citizen.
Civics Op-Ed Revision: Comprehensive civics education is the idea that students should be taught how to make change in the democratic system, and it must be taught in schools. This isn’t a new concept, nor one that used to be controversial, in fact, it is the very basis for the idea of social, studies. How do we show students that there are tactics to make change, and it doesn’t have to be for the good of any party, but for the community? However, the lack of ability to differentiate civics from politics in our hyper partisan environment has made it so this type of lesson is not one that people want to see taught anymore. Being a democratic republic makes America a member of what is still a very small club of nations, that give so much power to the people, but as the saying goes, “with great power, comes great responsibility”. It is not enough to just be an individual who goes and votes, with no knowledge of the people, positions, or system, we must ensure that the goal is to have informed citizens. Throughout the 87th legislative session (2021), there were almost two dozen civicsrelated bills on the docket here in Texas, and I had the privilege to work with several organizations to push for comprehensive civics education. Some of these bills restricted teacher’s ability to do their jobs and talk accurately about history, others promoted action civics. Action civics is the idea mentioned above about getting students involved in the process. Our goal was to make it so that students here in Texas become more knowledgeable of our democratic system and ideally are introduced to a curriculum that would allow them to get involved in their communities, taking on projects where they interact with leaders to make a change. This was the
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goal of HB 57 by Representative James Talarico, and there were several other bills that still would have satisfied the goal. Instead, we got HB 3979, which restricted teacher’s autonomy in the classroom and attempted to have the Legislature set up a “guidance list” of books/history that could be taught in civics. This bill makes it, so the Teachers Association and State Education Board no longer have complete control over the curriculum and has caused many to wonder whether books not involved in the Legislature’s list are against banned. This, as well as uncertainty from a section that stated that both sides of a political issue have to be taught in schools led to the Southlake memo incident. This occurred when an administrator suggested that if a teacher is going to teach about the Holocaust, they should also provide an “alternative view”, there is no alternative view to the Holocaust. This is a major step backward, and while the memo was retracted, it shows that the legislature’s attempt to have an impact on civics was a complete failure that only led to more confusion/anger amongst educators. The fact that the legislature used this bill to take such direct control over curriculum places the blame and failure squarely on them. The question Texans and people all across the country need to be asking themselves is why this law would be the one that gets passed and what was the objective of the people who wrote it. The answer is critical race theory and January sixth. The Virginia Governor’s election was decided in part due to the phrase critical race theory (CRT), and the Governor-Elect promising to ban it on his first day in office. Newsflash: A curriculum of critical race theory is not being taught anywhere in the country because it does not exist. Britannica defines critical race theory as an “ intellectual and social movement and loosely organized framework of legal analysis based on the premise that race is not a natural, biologically grounded feature of physically distinct subgroups of human beings but a socially
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constructed (culturally invented) category that is used to oppress and exploit people of colour”.Conservative pundits and politicians have taken an opposition stance to a higher education theory, or framework that says what many already see as fact, that the racial divide in this country, or anywhere else is due to institutional problems made by people who did not see all people as equal. It also says that some of those institutional barriers still exist today. While this is an important conversation to have as a society and we all should do what we can to break down these barriers, it is not in our schools. What is in our schools is history, and we need to ensure we are teaching an accurate history of our county. That is how we live up to the American dream. In the 88th session and in local school boards across the state, we must demand that our community leaders continue to advocate for engaging civics to be taught and, regardless of its uncomfortably and work hard to ensure that students are being taught their obligations as a citizen.
Civics Op-Ed Reflection For this revision piece I mostly focused on the edits recommended by the Professor, and I believe through those I have successfully addressed the concerns of my peers. To start with I got rid of my introduction that included a definition and instead got right to the point on how civics education should be taught in schools. The Professor gave me two different paths that I could take when it came to an introduction, getting to the point through talking about the 87th legislative session or talking about civics education. I choose to discuss the context of and foundations of civics education. The definition was something that I thought was sort of interesting, but after looking at all the comments, it was clear that the Professor, and my peers thought this was not the best way to go. After reviewing their thoughts, I agreed and re-structured 22
the beginning. This also helped me in addressing the issue of having a better flow throughout the essay, as my peers also said it came off as a tad choppy and bounced around. While it did not shorten the intro, it did make it more succinct, which made it better. The other major revision within the piece is that I went and explained a few things more in detail regarding the 87th legislative session. Through my professor, and peer’s comments, I learned that some of what I was saying could get confusing, or maybe people just didn’t know what had happened. Therefore, I explained what action civics was and what bills I was and wasn’t supporting. I talked about how the bill that passed HB3979, threatens teacher’s autonomy in the classroom and explained how the Legislature has failed miserably at their goals. This not only addressed Professor Eakman’s concerns but also clarified my topic and organized the legislation section more. With more time, one edit suggestion I did not do that I might have would be trying to end on a more optimistic point. I do a call to action, but I would have really enjoyed using some examples where the people where able to make a change through civic engagement. I also have done some thinking and believe that maybe I have two different op-eds within this rough draft. I have one on civics like what I have done with a history and a call to action. The other op-ed which mostly deleted could be one on the role of the citizen.
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Semester Reflection My writing throughout the course of this semester has changed for the better in my opinion, I have learned to be more succinct(somewhat) and accomplished a goal of mine, which was to begin a portfolio I could present on any graduate school applications. When I began with the sensory essay, it was a story I had told many times before, just focusing on more on sensory detail, but over time, I began to see how a portfolio might come together through this that I could really use, with stories about things that were important to me. Not only were the topics personally important to me, but also, they were the type of pieces/topics that I wanted to show to graduate school admissions, so they knew my priorates and parts of my story. I have a personal story about my medicine, a story about my family, and I story about my passions in life, all of which told in ways that show my diverse writing skills. This is exactly what I wanted to get out of this class, and I am very satisfied with how it worked out. One of the biggest things that impacted how I changed my writing were my group members and the professor. The recommendations that they provided me were amazing and challenged me to try new things. For example, in essay two, I would have never decided to just go with a dialogue story, but by talking about it with Professor Eakman, I decided that would be an exciting experiment that would really provide a challenge to me. The other great thing about the people and structure of the class was the freedom. The ability to mess something up, fix it, or even try something again that still might not work was a freedom I often do not feel as a political science student. There is a need to talk about important, controversial topics in political science, with the knowledge that people are going to be looking for reasons to discredit you and your argument. The same did not exist within this class and it allowed me to be more comfortable with the type of experimentation as mentioned above. My group members were trying to give suggestions that improved the piece and were more focused on whether voice, sensory detail, or 24
narrative technique were showing then whether than what was being discussed. That’s not to say that they weren’t interested though. My groups had great discussions about the topics and I feel as though I have met people through this class that I would like to keep in contact with. The stories we read in this class also helped me develop my writing and make choices that were not always the easiest for me. Two of them that had distinct impacts were the “Pain Scale” by ula Biss and “The Friend” by Matthew Teague, which challenged me to think and improve my writing at times. “The Pain Scale” told a story that almost compared (and almost mocked) the idea of something I am well aware of, the 1-10 pain scale. Admittedly, I did not read it all the way through, but I was absolutely fascinated by the concept of 0 that the author discussed and was constantly asking myself about the cyclicality of the whole thing. The idea was that when something is at its worst (10) it will eventually return to zero. I.E., a storm will leave, and things will be fine again, or a sickness will go away and the pain will go back down. However, the author took it in another direction. They said maybe zero is the idea of nothingness, as in when the storm comes as a ten, it might wipe out the very land and structures that existed there before, leaving nothing, or zero there. This made me think a lot because by that logic, zero on the pain scale could equate to disappearance of what was causing illness or even death. I thought about this long and hard, almost decided to make my third piece about it. However, I ended up going with civics because of what I want to do with my life. I would say this had an impact on my writing more in the way it had me think and reminded me of a lesson I had already truly known at a time before I wrote a piece, I wanted to have major impact. That good writing will be thought provoking. That became my goal. The other piece that had a profound impact on my writing and thought process was “The Friend” by Matthew Teague, which describes the slow death of the authors wife, and the true
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feelings people experience when forced to go through the unimaginable. The piece is extremely blunt, often times talking about wound packing, horrible medical scans, and feces. When I wrote my sensory essay for the first time, I was just trying to add some details to a story I felt as though I had told a million times. Just doll it up in a way that fit the assignment. After reading that piece, I knew I could do much more if I wanted to and when I went back, I did add a few more details about my experiences in O.R. I got better at describing the bad stuff like the tastes and upset feelings of not being able to eat. It still is not anything like what “The Friend” goes into because I am not trying to share such details, but it is more than I might have put before. The experimentation factor of this class was a major advantage to me, which is why I was so excited for the third unit. By the final unit, I had also been working almost two semesters on lobbying/advocacy classes and knew that op-eds were a massive part of the battles I wanted to be involved in. I also knew that for my final story, I wanted to have a much more professional piece that spoke about my passions. That comfortability and desire is what led to me doing what I believe is the best piece of the class, the civics op-ed, which I intend to submit for publishing and have as the introduction to a civics report I hope to put together next semester. The freedom to write what we wanted so long as we gave it a unique narrative made this a possibility and I am very happy to have been a part of this class.
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Author Bio
Michael D. Baumgartner is a senior political science student at Saint Edward’s University in Austin Texas. He has a mom, dad, sister, and a new dog who live in the DFW area and while mostly staying in Austin, he enjoys going up north to spend time with them. He is very passionate about civics and is an active participant in the Civics Lab at Saint Edward’s University, where he advocates for Austin mass transit and comprehensive Civics Education. When it he is not working on school you can find him listening to a variety of music, watching The Simpsons, or West Wing.
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