Spam by Mechanical Yammering

MECHANICAL YAMMERING

 a practical guide for digital life

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editor’s note, THE FOLLOWING MESSAGES WERE SENT TO AN EMAIL ADDRESS LISTED ON THE INTERNET. THEY ARE PUBLISHED HERE, UNABRIDGED, BUT SIZED AND STYLED FOR EMPHASIS. FOR ALL TEXTS, NO AUTHOR WAS LISTED. IT IS ASSUMED THEY WERE WRITTEN BY AN INCREDIBLY DESPERATE PERSON OR A MACHINE. YOURS TRULY, NICK MARTIN PROFESSIONAL GRAPHIC DESIGNER JUNE, 2014 @ihatenickmartin

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TO: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX CC XXXX, XXXX, XXXX, XXXX, XXXX, FROM: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX First of all, you should respect your reader & recognize his/her intelligence. He/she is able to conclude if your business idea is •“great”, •“outstanding”, •“the most promising” “revolutionary”, •“market changing” •“etc.” Presenting things in a neutral style doesn’t mean being boring: the market opportunity you managed to discover should be indeed b

And then,no additional adjectives are needed

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Do you want to be rich? Is being rich important to you? Are you wondering how to be wealthy? Well, here are five steps to help you on your way to being rich. • First, start saving. Rich people save all the time. They do not tend to spend money on lots of unnecessary items. They make sure that they put aside money and save it. Being rich means a slow accumulation of wealth. Unless you hit it big you will not get all this money really fast. Therefore, if you want to be rich you need to start saving money. • Second, don’t buy luxury items. Studies show that rich people actually buy luxury items a lot less than poor people. Look in your garage. Do you have a Mercedes? Or, do you own a Toyota? Studies show that millionaires tend to own Toyotas much more than Mercedes. What does this mean?

• Third, think of ways to earn extra income. Rich people work very hard. Money is not just given to them. Some of them work multiple jobs to save up. After you have additional cash to invest, you may not have to work multiple jobs. But in the beginning you will have to figure out how to make the most money as fast as possible. Get a second job. Do additional consulting on the side. You will never be rich if you do not work extra hard. • Four-Stop passing over opportunities reapeatedly The full meaning of POOR is actually "passing over opportunities repeatedly" What most people are good at is passing over opportunities reapeatedly, so tell, me why wont they be poor? I've posted several lifechanging info/opportunities on this page within the last 3months. But because of the meager N5,000/10,000 naira that you need to acquire… Thanks for taking your time to read this message. I will guild you with every information that will be needed from the security. Please contact me as soon as possible. Thanks, May Allah bless you so much. Regards, Mr. Abdul.

Hello Dear friend, With due respect and with humble submission, I write this email considering the fact that I know you are a highly placed person. I am a Head of a department at turnnershipping company (position withheld for security reasons) I discovered a cargo in our facility during our cargo clearance and declaration process, the Cargo Consignment box contains US$ 25 Million in cash, the cargo is still unclaimed at our facility within the cargo section since the past three years. I am contacting you in good fate and in confidence in view of my intention and arrangement to facilitate the release of the unclaimed cargo to you. It does not require much of your time; I want to know your readiness and willingness to receiving the consignment. I believe I am doing what I think is right. Best Regard Desond Hill Margret smith.

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/Δ=? You understand the importance of uptime, but you might not quite understand all of the terminology when it comes to explaining it.

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Pizza Huts latest annou-ncement is adding a whole new dimension to tabletop technology and making traditional menus look archaic. The chain is testing a new and original digital interactive tabletop that allows customers to order pizza at their seats via touchscreen.

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u a l l y e v e r y s u b j e c t w h o w e a r s g l a s s e s , t h e y m a y l o s e t h e s u p p o r t o c o m p l e x a n d s i m p l e a n complex classes r e h a b i l i t a t e o w n v i s i o n a n d s t a r t t o s e n o p o i n t It is quite possible , quite accessible , repeatedly tested and about this will be discussed.

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And as may occur with human to human “puppy love”, some times the love wears little thin when real challenges occur (like your favorite shoes become a favorite new chewing toy) but un like human to human R “puppy love”, your dog’s love for you will only grow with time. f d

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The mother of a baby is the most busy person on earth, when she is not very gathered about her daily routine vis-Ă -vis the baby. Everyday she has to bother about the babyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s feeding, sleeping, clothing, changing and bathing. Someone people came for the formula and diapers However, here is the exact same link from company where I keep getting free baby formula and pampers from in the mail

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It took me a while, but I finally did it...My new site is online. It's for posting clothes for kids who need them most: overweight and obese teens. I'm working with Google and AOL to make sure there's a lot of nice clothes for these teens. Please, tell teens for me.

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THIS IS WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY BONES AT THIS VERY MOMENT: THE CANCER DISTROYS THE BONES UNTIL THE BODY CAN NO LONGER SUPPORT LIFE AND DEATH IS THE END RESULT, UNTIL THAT TIME I WILL SERVE HOLY GOD WITH MY EVERYTHING. HOLY GOD IS 1ST [1] GOD LOVES PEOPLE SPREAD THE AGAPE LOVE References 1. http://youtu.be/q7b55yQP4g4 2. http://www.GODSMANDAVID.COM/ 3. http://www.reverbnation.com/godsmandavid

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Mechanical Yammering is a zine made with Pages. it’s contents are neither the intellectual property of the author nor the intellectual property of anyone at all. Feel free to print it out with your own HP and sell it to for however much you can trick any sucker you into paying for it! Cuz jokes on them, you can already get it for free on the internet! Hahaha! Asshole. Also, most of this stuff is stolen in a first amendment protected act of Parody/Satire as well as its an “Artistic Collage” and also in addition to a Fair Use/Creative Commons/Plagerism. So just shut the fuck up already if you’re trying to sue us or something--our dad is a lawyer you idiot.

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