Melbourne Observer. March 28, 2018

Melbourne

Observer

$2

NEW WBIZ ★ LIFES TYLE ★ TR AVEL ★ FEA TURES ★ BARGAINS ★ SPORT NEWSS ★ SHO SHOWBIZ LIFESTYLE TRA FEATURES

Melbourne

95

ISSN 1447 4611

Observer

Ph 1800 231 311 Fx 1800 231 312

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 28, 2018

VICTORIA’S INDEPENDENT WEEKLY NEWSPAPER

49TH YEAR OF PUBLICATION $2.95

S TATE EDITION Vol 50 No 1696 SERVING VICTORIA SINCE 1969

including GST

FESTIVAL TIME

146 ARGUS ST, CHELTENHAM VIC 3192 TEL: 9585 2822 KINGSTONFUNERALS .COM.AU FRANCSHISEES WANTED URGENTLY Melbourne Metro and Country Vic Options available; Some territories already trading; Some leads provided Low cost entry PHOTO: MALCOLM THREADGOLD

● Lilydale Heights Performing Arts Centre was the venue for the Arkfest Short Play Festival. Pictured are: Arkfest Judges, Stephen Barber, Cheryl Threadgold, Jennifer Paragreen and Terese Maurici.

CENTRE STATE DRILLING

More than 130 plays were received from around Australia, narrowed down to a shortlist by a selection panel.

Then Victorian local theatre companies chose one of 30 plays to be presented by their director and actors during the Arkfest.

After five heats of six plays. 10finalist plays were chosen by a panel of judges.

Major prize-winners were: Best Director, Dexter Bourke, Next in Line (by Chris Hodson), presented by The 1812 Theatre; and Best Actress, Aimme Short in Corpse Candles (by Deborah Sheldon), presented by How Dramatic.

Turn To Page 9

Victorian Selective Entry High Schools

Applications to sit the Yea 9 entrance exam for 2019 are no open.

● See advert, back page

See ad on Page 34

Grosvenor in Cairns Holiday Apartments Fully Self Contained 1 and 2 bedroom apartments Looking to escape the cold this winter; then head on up to Cairns - always warm!

Visit www.grosvenorcairns.com.au or email info@grosvenorcairns.com.au

or ring 1800 629 179

Camberwell Sewing Centre

LATEST SPECIALS Turn To Page 28

SEE OUR AD ON PAGE 38

Page 2 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Best Places

STOP - before you 'flick' the page over … read on (it's worth it)

ANOTHER AD….?

YEAH ... But a "great" little ad and worth reading!

NOW is the time to be planning and booking a holiday away from Melbourne … to the and sun of Cairns in Far North Queensland.. What a fantastic time to visit; You won't find any 'advertising hype' here … we don't need to talk like that; we just give you the plain, simple truth about what we offer - great accommodation in Cairns at a good price.

Choose from a 1 or 2 bedroom, fully self-contained apartment that is complete with a full kitchen, large living room, bathroom with walk in shower plus FOXTEL and air-conditioning.

FREE WiFi & FREE use of the 24/7 fitness center/gym across the road.

The pool is solar heated so even in winter when the temperature is down a bit the pool is still usable (21 to 25 degrees as opposed to 17 degrees in an unheated pool).

Adjacent to the pool is an undercover meals/BBQ area that has a shower room and bathroom.

SO … COME ON UP…. Contact us now!

Grosvenor In Cairns

GROSVENOR IN CAIRNS SPECIALS for Melbourne Observer readers only (must mention this ad when booking)

10% discount on whatever the price shown on our website is!

Our website prices are the "lowest" available (except for this special)

10% off - plus an arrival taxi transfer and a bottle of wine SO … visit our website …. Choose your holiday dates and Accommodation type … and then ring or email (don't forget to mention this Ad) … and we will take care of the rest for you! www.grosvenorcairns.com.au PHONE 1800 629 179 (Toll free call - within Australia only) 07 4031 8588 (from outside Australia ring 61 7 4031 8588) 07 4031 8521 (from outside Australia ring 61 7 4031 8521) Mobile 0403 15 0805 EMAIL info@grosvenorcairns.com.au (accounts/information) reception@grosvenorcairns.com.au (bookings) SEND MAIL PO Box 2735 Cairns, Queensland. 4870 STREET ADDRESS 186 to 188 McLeod Street Cairns (on the corner of Grove St)

www.MelbourneObser ver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 3

Page 4 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

TRAILERS & FEEDERS STRONGEST FEEDER ON THE MARKET

Bruce Clarke 0427 424 243

www.universalfeeders.com.au | www.universaltrailers.com.au

DEPOTS THROUGHOUT AUSTRALIA

VR2245798

DESIGNED & BUILT TO LAST

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 5

Page 6 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 7

Page 8 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Melbourne

Melbourne

Observer

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

People

Observer Top chef unpacks inc orpor ating the Melbourne A d vvertiser ertiser incorpor orpora Ad ertiser,, Melbourne T ict orian Rur al Ne ws Trrader ader,, V Vict ictorian Rural New and Melbourne Seniors News News..

Victoria’s Independent Newspaper First Published September 14, 1969 Ev ery W ednesda y Wednesda

Contact Us Office: 30 Glen Gully Rd, Eltham, 3095 Postal: PO Box 1278, Research, Vic 3095 Phone: +61 3 9439 9927 Fax: +61 3 9431 6247 Web: w w w.MelbourneObserv e rr..c om.au .MelbourneObserve or@MelbourneObserv e rr..c om.au E: E dit ditor@MelbourneObserv or@MelbourneObserve

Our Team Editor: Ash Long Features Editor: Peter Mac Columnists: Len Baker (harness racing), Matt Bissett-Johnson (cartoonist), David Ellis (wine and travel), Rob Foenander (country music), Kerry Kulkens (astrology), Nick Le Souef (outback Australia), Mike McColl Jones (life), Greg Ne wman (r adio ), Terry Radf or d ((C C ourt ewman adio), Radfor ord roundsman), Aaron Rourke (movies), Ted Ry an (r acing), Jim Sherlock Ryan (racing), (movies, DVDs), Cheryl Threadgold (local thea e), K evin T sho wbiz), theatt rre Ke Trr ask ((sho showbiz), Veritas, G a vin W ood (Holly wood).

Ga Wood (Hollyw Honorary Reviewers: Mark Briggs, Rita Crispin, Martin Curtis, Sherryn Danaher, Barbar a Hughes, L yn Hurs t, K athryn Barbara Lyn Hurst, Ka Keeble, Beth Klein, Deborah Marinaro, Gr aeme McC oubrie therine egor Graeme McCoubrie oubrie,, Ca Catherine therine,, McGr McGregor egor,, David McLean, Maggie Morrison, Jill Pa g e ylie Rackham, Elizabeth Semmel. e,, K Kylie Arts: Peter Kemp. Distribution: Sam Fiorini, phone 9482 1145

Distribution Sta te E dition: A v ailable w eekly a Edition: weekly att approx. 400 newsagents across the Melbourne metropolitan area, Mornington Peninsula, Geelong, Bellarine Peninsula, Surf coast, and Victorian regional centres.

Recommended retail price: $2.95.

If your local newsagent does not curr ently ssttock the Melbourne Observ e rr,, currently Observe why not place a weekly order with them, by using their ‘putaway’ service.

Newsagents should contact All Day Distribution Pty Ltd, 169 Burwood Road, Hawthorn, Vic 3122. Phone: (03) 9482 1145.

Across The World Melbourne Observer Online 2.

2.11 million hits annually annually.. w ww .MelbourneObserv e rr..com.au .MelbourneObserve You can rread ead our paper fr ee on the free internet.

Contact details for our advertisers are also available at our website.

Back Copies Back Copies - Archives w ww .MelbourneObserv e rr..com.au .MelbourneObserve Back copies for 1969-89, 2002-15 may be inspected by appointment at the State Library of Victoria. 328 Swanston St, Melbourne.

Independently Owned and Operated The Melbourne Observer is printed under contract by Streamline PressPty Ltd, 155 Johns t, Fitzr o y, ffor or the publisher Johnstton S St, Fitzro publisher,, Local Media Pty Ltd. ABN 67 096 680 063, of the registered office, 30 Glen Gully Rd, Eltham, Vic 3095. Distributed

by All Day Distribution. Responsibilityfor election and referendum comment is accepted by Ash Long.

Copyright © 2018, Local Media Pty Ltd. ACN 096 680 063.

his plain frustrations

■ Nothing gets a twostar Michelin chef madder than not being able to get the ingredients he wants, especially when it's Ireland-born Richard Corrigan, and he wants to make his homeland's traditional Irish coffee.

So, in the wake of attempts to eliminate or reduce UK consumption of the muchloved drink's key ingredients - sugar and alcohol - London-based Corrigan has issued a tongue-in-cheek protest to save his beloved tipple from the Nanny State.

In a letter to the UK Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt, whose Department backs plain packaging for alcohol, c o n f e c t i o n e r y, savoury snacks, and sugary drinks, Corrigan laid out concerns for the direction of Government food restrictions.

“Every day there is another public health scare, but unfortunately that hasn't stopped them influencing the government's agenda.

“The relentless cries of a fearful few tell chefs like me that we can't serve bacon, we mustn't offer red meat, and if we do it must be well done or risk cursing our customers with a death sentence.

"The government's focus now seems to have alcohol and sugar top of the hit list, with dairy not far behind.

“To add insult to injury - and to my furMelbourne

Observer

Your Stars with Kerry Kulkens ARIES: (March 21-April 20) Lucky Colour: Cream Lucky Day: Monday Racing Numbers: 9.6.2.3.

Lotto Numbers: 9.12.23.36.34.45.

Lots of movement in your domestic sector there could be someone going and others coming and a restless atmosphere could prevail for some time. Luck in games of chance.

TAURUS: (April 21- May 20) Lucky Colour: Peach Lucky Day: Tuesday Racing Numbers: 5.6.2.3.

Lotto Numbers: 5.12.24.40.26.33.

A lot depends on how you react to people during this period. Try not to be too sensitive to abrasive people.

Love life should get a lift in a surprising way very soon.

GEMINI: (May 21- June 21) Lucky Colour: Yellow Lucky Day:Wednesday Racing Numbers: 9.6.5.3.

Lotto Numbers: 9.15.26.35.36.3.

You could do yourself a lot of damage if you get involved with something that does not concern you at all. Give opinions only if asked and help if you think it is really needed.

● Irish Michelin-starred chef Richard Corrigan ther bemusement - it turally and socially caused consternation was announced last rich,' he told the UK in industries including month that the State of Daily Mail. printing, design and California might soon “I don't want my advertising that prostart requiring customers to be de- vide services to comStarbucks to warn its nied taste experiences, panies in those seccustomers that coffee I want to have the free- tors. causes cancer. Seri- dom, as any artist “Alarmingly, reously. These four in- would, to have all in- sults from Australia's gredients combine to gredients available at tobacco plain packagcreate the iconic Irish my fingertips.” ing initiative and ongoCoffee.

Corrigan, who has ing product tax in“Forget the White also cooked for the creases show the Rhino. As an Queen, says UK pro- strategy's shocking Irishman and bar posals that would ex- lack of effectiveness, owner, it seems to me pand tobacco plain with tobacco conthat the Irish Coffee packaging to food and sumption actually inmight now be the most beverage categories creasing over the five endangered species in including alcohol not years since plain packthe world,” Corrigan only infringe his cre- aging was mandated declared. ative scope, but will be in the country.

Although his letter intolerable if they are “I'm sure that your has a humorous twist, introduced into law. officials and advisors the chef/patron of “No one with any will tell you to reply Corrigan's Mayfair, taste wants to eat the with just how much of Bentley's Oyster Bar way these zealots a threat this is," and Grill, Bentley's would have us eat. We Corrigan told his own Sea Grill in Harrods may as well bin the UK Health Secretary. in London, and Vir- lot.”

“But I, like most ginia Park Lodge in Currently, plain right-minded people, Virginia, County packaging in En- think life is better when Cavan says the situa- gland, like in Austra- we have the freedom tion is actually kind of lia, is limited to to- as adults to decide serious because ‘zeal- bacco products, how- how we live our life, ots' are meddling so ever the strong push to and how we choose to much in our diets that widen the concept to consume these prodthey have 'taken all the alcohol, confection- ucts, in moderation if fun out of dining. ery, savoury snacks, we wish.”

“All I want is to live and sugary drinks cat- By a Special in a world that's cul- egories, has also Correspondent

Local Theatre

Hard to Handel ■ Max Riebl combines high baroque drama with landscapes of early pop in his forthcoming season of Hard to Handel from April 22 -28 at The Butterfly Club.

Max has previously appeared as a soloist throughout Australia, Europe and the UK with baroque ensembles such as the Australian Brandenburg Orchestra, La Cetra Baroque Orchestra, the London Handel Orchestra and Orchestra Victoria as well as a number of symphony orchestras and contemporary ensembles.

He has performed in the Sydney Recital Centre, the Melbourne Recital Centre and Hamer Hall, the Forum, the Vienna Musikverein and Royal Albert Hall.

He studied baroque performance at the Schola Cantorum Basiliensis with Gerd Turk.

Max has received top prizes in the Herald Sun Aria, IFAC Australian Singing Competition, The London Handel Competition, the Chicago International Singer Competition and the Royal Philharmonic arias.

His work is now including the festival scene,

CANCER: (June 22- July 22) Lucky Colour: Blue Lucky Day: Thursday Racing Numbers: 4.6.2.5.

Lotto Numbers: 4.12.25.29.8.4 Someone could try to improve your moods and this person should make a big difference in your future. Financial matters will not improve if you are not prepared to do something positive about it.

LEO: (July 23-August 22) Lucky Colour: Violet Lucky Day: Monday Racing Numbers: 4.6.5.2.

Lotto Numbers: 4.7.12.26.35.36.

If involved with someone special this could be a very busy period and happy moments could prevail. Using tact and understanding could help you to become friends with a person you really did not know that well.

VIRGO: (August 23- September 23) Lucky Colour: Orange Lucky Day: Sunday Racing Numbers: 3.6.9.5.

Lotto Numbers: 9.5.12.24.45.40.

It could be easy to get into something you are not so familiar with during this period if you feel it's really not for you, stay out. Financial matters should be on the improve.

LIBRA: (September 24- October 23) Lucky Colour: Green Lucky Day: Tuesday Racing Numbers: 8.6.5.2.

Lotto Numbers: 8.12.26.35.40.22.

Stay out of family fights and arguments among friends.

Most will be in the grip of wanderlust and could be traveling longer distances than usual. It will be very hard to balance the budget however, keep trying. An old flame could re-cross your path.

SCORPIO: (October 24- November 22) Lucky Colour: Mauve Lucky Day:Wednesday Racing Numbers: 5.2.3.1.

Lotto Numbers: 5.12.23.32.20.3.

A very favorable period. However, it is a period of ends and beginnings as one door closer a better one opens. So look ahead not back. Many will be luckier in lotteries or a punt on a wise investment. An interesting offer from someone very attractive.

SAGITTARIUS: (November23- December 20) Lucky Colour: Green Lucky Day: Saturday Racing Numbers: 5.6.2.1.

Lotto Numbers: 5.12.45.40.9.7.

Most will be in a happier financial situation. However, not the time to lend money or possessions. The singles could find the lover they have been seeking for a long time. A bit on the side could prove dangerous.

CAPRICORN: (December 21- January 19) Lucky Colour: Dark Blue Lucky Day:Wednesday Racing Numbers: 1.3.2.5.

Lotto Numbers: 1.12.15.26.36.37.

There could be a tendency to be accident prone, watch your step. Most will be making plans for major changes to take place later this year. For most an increase in salary.

Singles could be receiving some special attention.

AQUARIUS: (January 20- February 19) Lucky Colour: Silver Lucky Day: Thursday Racing Numbers: 4.6.5.2.

Lotto Numbers: 4.12.26.35.5.1.

Most will be in for a very happy and relaxed period.

People you meet during this period are destined to have a big impact on your future plans. Some who cannot travel should be happy with friends and social activities. In your love affair, it is wise to correct old problems.

● Max Riebl creating shows for the Melbourne Fringe, Adelaide Fringe and St Kilda Festival.

Dates: April 23-28 Times: 8.30pm, 1 hour Venue: The Butterfly Club, 5 Carson Place, Melbourne Bookings: thebutterflyclub.com or call 9663 8107.

- Cheryl Threadgold

PISCES: (February 20- March 20) Lucky Colour: Red Lucky Day: Monday Racing Numbers: 4.6.8.9.

Lotto Numbers: 4.12.26.39.8.33.

Contacts from old friends or past flames. Most will have to be very diplomatic to keep personal relationships stable. Career activities are set to bring increased earnings and opportunities.

KERR Y KULKENS PSYCHIC LINE 190 2 240 051 or 1800 727 727 CALL COST: $5.50 INC G.S.T. PER MIN. MOB/PAY EXTRA. VISIT KERRY KULKENS MAGIC SHOP AT 1 693 BURWOOD HW Y BELG RAVE PH/FAX (03) 9754 458 7 WW W.KERRY KULKENS. COM.A U Like us on Facebook

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 9

It’s All About You!

Vale David Greenaway, theatre stalwart

■ A stalwart of amateur theatre, mainly in the Dandenongs at GEMCO, David Greenaway sadly died on St Patrick’s Day. With his UK roots, he would have appreciated the date. David had a number of passions with live theatre permanently prominent.

His love for staging shows became deeper over time.

I first met him in the 1980s and his enthusiasm for theatre was infectious.

Nearly 40 years later that enthusiasm continued to shine.

He worked tirelessly behind the scenes, founded GEMCO, was a driving force for its current theatre, and constantly encouraged

● David Greenaway

Memories of Bob Caddy

Melbourne

Observer

young people to get involved. When accepting a community award, he said, “It’s great to have young people at the theatre, they are the future.

“It gives them a chance to gain self-esteem and it’s inspiring to us older people.”

Many young people discovered live theatre thanks to David Greenaway.

He was a selfless man. He loved performing on stage and out in the world as the Fat Controller at Puffing Billy and as Santa at shopping centres.

He never took himself seriously and always made you laugh.

- Cenarth Fox

In This Edition

Chef’s plain frustrations ................ Page 8 The Local Media story ...................... Page 10 California, the golden state .......... Page 11 In The Picture: At Kinglake ...... Pages 12-13 Whatever Happened ........................ Page 14 Observer Classic Boks ................... Page 15 Len Baker’s Sulky Snippets ............ Page 57 Ted Ryan’s Observer Racing ........... Page 58 Observer Showbiz ............... begins Page 59 Country Crossroads ........................ Page 60 Local Theatre .................................. Page 63 James Sherlock Aaron Rourke and Cheryl Threadgold

Arkfest winners

Observer Showbiz

Latest News AroundVictoria

Tram crashes

● Bob Caddy ■ Generous in spirit, jocund and passionate Death and Secondary Cause of Death. are terms easily synonymous with Bob For ETC, Bob created anew the hapless Caddy.

Col. Kurt von Strohm in 'Allo' Allo.

A staunch champion of amateur theatre STAG saw Bob take on the titular role in over many decades, Bob was a triple threat in Gross Indecency: The Three Trials of Oscar the creative arena mastering musical theatre, Wilde to favourable reviews, and Malvern comedy and drama.

Theatre saw Bob embark on another drama: Early years were spent at Allegro Theatre The Drawer Boy, earning him a Best Lead Company, Yarrawonga, in Victoria's north Actor nomination in-house award (Bob had east, where Bob was honoured with that also moved to Mornington by now and was company's highly lauded in-house recognition, commuting between there and Malvern - a the Zonta Awards, for his work in Arsenic testament to his steadfast loyalty and alleand Old Lace and The Pirates of Penzance. giance) Other work for Allegro included: South PaAn inspiration and devoted dad to his chilcific; The King and I; The Sound of Music; dren, Jackson and Annabelle, Bob also loved The Fair, The Fearless and The Frightful; cars, motorcycles and music - when he was The Sentimental Bloke; My Fair Lady and younger he played bass guitar and was lead Paint Your Wagon. singer in a heavy metal band called Roxsin.

On moving to Melbourne, Bob graced our A savvy businessman, Bob owned and ran theatres with his effervescence and unrelent- businesses in the timber industry both in ing passionate commitment to the stage he Yarrawonga and Geelong. loved.

Bob left us suddenly on March 16. FareFor Eltham Theatre, there was Sylvia well, Bob Caddy. Another star has dimmed. (which earned Bob an in-house nomination) - Kris Weber, as well as Arms and the Man; Murdered to researched by Michelle Tanner

Observations

with Matt Bissett-Johnson

● Organisers Rosey Cullinan and Paula Armstrong. Photos: Malcolm Threadgold From Page One ■ Other winners included: Best Actor, Phillip Stevenson in Close Enough presented by The Misfits; Best Production, Anak (written and directed by Tamara Dahmen), presented by the Hartwell Players.

The People’s Choice Award was Rosaline (by Tamara Dahmen), directed by Andrew Tomazos.

The Arkfest team, led by Paula Armstrong and Rosey Cullinan, are to be congratulated on their wonderfully successful co-ordination of volunteers, from technicians to front of house, backstage, catering and lunch-break entertainers to achieve such a great event.

Significantly, 30 Australian writers have been given the opportunity to have their plays performed onstage, with local actors and directors, in front of an appreciative audience.

- Cheryl Threadgold

■ A 49-year-old tram driver is expected to be charged with careless driving after his tram drailed and crashed at Ascot Vale early yesterday (Tues.).

Men charged

■ Detectives have charged two men after an incident at South Yarrainvolving a firearm on Monday. A 27-year-old Chelsea Heights man has been charged with two counts of recklessly cause injury and two counts of unlawful assault.A 27-year-old Port Melbourne man has been charged with conduct endangering life and firearms related offences.

New fleet on road

■ The first of ten new alcohol and drug testing buses which will roll out across the state over the next 12 months, is now operational and ready to remove impaired drivers and riders from the roads.

Good Fri. Appeal

■ Donations to the Royal Children’s Hospital Good Friday Appeal will be collected this week. Call the Good Friday Appeal on 9292 1166 during business hours. The telethon will be on Channel 7 on Friday.

Forecast ● Peter Kemp with Janine Archer

■ ■ ■ ■ ■

Today (Wed.). Partly cloudy. 14°-29° Thurs. Partly cloudy. 12°-23° Fri. Partly cloudy. 11°-23° Sat. Mostly sunny. 11°-23° Sun. Mostly sunny. 12°-21°

Mike McColl Jones

Top 5

THE T OP 5 THINGS MYER TOP COULD DO T O FIX TO ITS FORTUNES 5. Don't tell any staff where the pay-office is.

4.Take over the city's parking meters.

3. Eliminate sales people.

(No one will notice any difference!).

2. Merge with Coles. (No ... done that!).

1. Give every staff member a red T-shirt, and tell 'em to steal from the customers.

Page 10 - Melbourne Obser ver - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Local Media’s 50 Years. Part 2.

Inquiry into print pioneer’s dealings

50 YEARS

Local Media Pty Ltd, publisher of the Melbourne Observer and The Local Paper, traces its origins to September 1969. Our 50-year anniversary will be held in September 2019. Over the 18 months from March 2018, we present a series of feature articles looking at our history over the past half-century.

■ InAugust 1969, in the month prior to the opening of the Observer newspaper by Gordon Barton, another printer introduced a new weekend publication to Melbourne.

Dern Langlands commenced publication of Postscript Weekender, through his Regal Press company, based in Newton St, Richmond.

Dern Geoffrey Stewart Langlands was born on Valentine's Day, 1923, the son of an itinerant alcoholic printer, who towed his family around Victorian country towns as he worked on weekly local newspapers.

As the family fortunes varied, Dern and his brother, has their own apprenticeships in towns as various as Kyabram and Corryong.

He later re-called working a day at Mount Gambier on the South Australian border, ‘diss-ing’ the hand-set type on printed jobs back into type cases. All for the price of a pie.

When World War II came, liked many others, Dern Langlands lied about his age, gaining entry into the Air Force.

He first worked with ground crew, then was assigned to fly Spitfires with the RAF. He recalled guarding the niece of British Prime Minister Winston Churchill, involved in secret behindthe-lines intelligence operations in Europe.

Back from the war, Dern set up Regal Press in Richmond as a small job printing outfit. He joked it was ‘Lager’ spelt backwards.

Young Dern supplemented his earnings as a Friday-night pug at Jimmy Sharman's boxing tents.

Dern saw his career ‘break’ as winning the job to print the peanut bags sold at the Saturday afternoon VFL football matches around Melbourne.

He used his hand-platin machines, with three people: one to set the bags, one to pedal the press, the other stacking the product.

It was a bonus when he won the competitor's peanut bag contract as well.

A common story is for media people especially to look the part.

Dern Langlands followed the advice: selling his motor-cycle, replaced with a huge Dodge sedan, even later with a Mercedes Benz 600 and a Rolls Royce.

A look at the Victorian RegistrarGeneral's newspaper files shows Dern Langlands to have developed a large portfolio of newspaper titles

● Dern Langlands: published Postscript Weekender as his print business grew: Foodland newspapers, later working as a press Home News, The Richmond Leader, hand run by Tom Gardiner, ProducPostscript Weekender and All Sport tion Manager Don McAlpine, and engineer Ian Metcalfe.

Weekly.

Langlands may have had every One paper, Melbourne Trading Time, was set up as a competitor to chance of making the business Margaret Falkiner's Melbourne work.

At a later State Government inTrading Post.

Dern installed modern Goss Com- quiry ordered by the Legislative Asmunity web offset presses at his sembly, led byAlex ChernovofOwen Richmond factory, built the Belved- Dixon Chambers (later State Govere Motel, started engineering works ernor), into Langlands's business afcalled D.R. Enginnering and Foldin fairs, Dern Langlands was accused of Industries, and created a chain of living a ‘high life’ of ‘wine, women ‘Toyrific’ stores.

And he bet it all on a project to and song’. His reply was “I don't sing supply a free daily newspaper - Post- very well.”

Scroundrel Melbourne journalist script - to Melbourne, also under the John ‘Somersault’ Somerville-Smith title of the Melbourne Daily Mail.

It involved newspaper men such sometimes manned the reception as Chris Fisher and Evan Hannah desk of Dern's Beldevere Lodge, with guests checking in for a clanSenior.

The project was part of his finan- destine motel room booking, often wondering how their secret trysts cial undoing.

Six weeks of free papers distrib- appeared in the Smith's Weekly coluted all over Melbourne by a team umn of Jack Pacholli's Toorak of 40 mini-skirted girls in a fleet of Times.

Regal Press had contracts for imorange sedans led to a loss of more portant and lucrative supermarket than $800,000.

In July 1969, Dern applied to the handbill work, using a quarter-plate ANZ Bank for an increase in his technique, that personalised each company's overdraft ‘to meet over- Foodland grocery store's publicity.

Maxwell Newton's association due creditors, provide (working) capital and to enable completion of with Dern was the Langlands’s undoing. the motel building’.

Max bought Regal Press from Financial advisor Les Smart was a vital link to this much-needed fi- Dern, defaulting on the $1.5 million payments, leaving Langlands pennance.

He was a partner in the accoun- niless and bankrupt.

“Dern must hate me,” Newton tancy firm, Marquand & Co., the administrator of the Co-Operative later confided. Newton had promised Farmers and Graziers Direct Meat to pay the price over 10 years from March 1974, over 10 years.

Supply Ltd. Newton had also been advanced Smart arranged some $1,291,762 in the Co-Op's funds to be trans- $724,000 by Smart.

“None of this money (totalling ferred to Langlands' interests in $2,015,762) was repaid to the Soci1972-75.

It was in this time that as a school- ety,” Mr Chernov found.

Chernov examined the role of boy, Local Media publisher Ash Long would play truant from after- Leslie Smart, who had been apnoon classes, to work at the Rich- pointed in1968 as the administrator mond factory for $1.50-$2 an hour. of the Society “with full powers to His first job was to hand collate manage its affairs as he saw fit”.

In late 1974, Smart became Expre-printed sections of the Postscript Weekender and All Sport Weekly ecutive Chairman. Smart had expe-

rience in assisting other companies “including the ANZ Bank, and government and semi-government organisations. He was also involved in publishing a monthly journal for a church and in advising it on financial and business matters”.

Chernov told Parliament that Smart’s reputation was very high as a financial adviser, “particularly as he re-organised the society to the extent that it commenced to earn profits”.

“His commercial judgements and decisions were rarely, if ever, challenged,” the report concluded.

Smart became a financial advisor to Langlands in 1970.

ANZ Bank agreed to the overdraft on the condition that Smart oversee an examination of the accounts.

Later, to reduce the overdraft, loans were taken with Custodian Nominees and Alliance Acceptance, on the basis of two mortgages over the Belvedere Motel.

However, Chernov reported: “It is doubtful whether (the businesses) would have survived for long with the infusion of funds which Mr Smart procured for them from the Society.”

Chernov said that Smart felt obliged to help fund the businesses of both Dern Langlands and Maxwell Newton to support a marketing strategy he was developing for the co-operative.

The idea was to distribute handbills weekly with loss leader meat specials from supermarkets and butcher shops … and the meat being supplied by the Co-Op. At this time, Dern Langlands was considering the re-launch of his daily Postscript newspaper.

In 1969, he had launched the free daily, with revenue from advertisements budgeted to pay all expenses.

Postscript was not a commercial success.

Dern Langlands said he had expected to make $800,000 on the daily newspaper, but instead lost $800,000 in a number of weeks. Smart was quoted to say the losses were more in the order of $400,000.

Langlands licked his wounds, but not before making news of his own, reported by Alan Armsden, of his marriage to a 20-year-old ‘waif’: “A fairytale will come true in Melbourne today when a beautiful waif marries a multi-millionaire old enough to be her father.

“One week ago, voluptuous 20year-old Sharryn Young was out of work and didn't know where she was came from or where she was going.

“Today after a fantastic whirlwind courtship, she will become the wife of 54-yearold motel owner Dern Langlands.”

The story reported that Sharryn was driving Dern's $108,000 Mercedes Benz, and that he would be giving her a Mercedes-Benz sports car as a wedding present.

Groomsman was close mate Len Thompson of the Collingwood Football Club.

Dern retired bankrupt to Queensland, but returned to Melbourne in the early 1980s to manage Royale Press, in old Foy & Gibson buildings in Cambridge St, Collingwood.

With a modest four-unit press manned by Barry Harper, he began to accumulate weekly jobs including John Gannan's Independent Mounteasterly, the Lambert family's

Mountain Views from Healesville, Pacholli's Toorak Times, and the 26week experiment of Sunday Mirror headed by businessman Dennis Tiernan and crazy editor Richard L'Estrange in 1983.

Lady Mary Montagu was to be prominent with a Melbourne social column called ‘Madam Lash’.

Ash Long was in his end days at Leader, and assisted in the first week distribution of 70,000 32-page papers across Melbourne, with the assistance of Leader moonlighters John Gray, Arthur Preusker and Keith Peplar.

Tiernan believed Long to be an undercover man for Rupert Murdoch!

Tiernan had arranged lucrative massage parlour advertisements, and L'Estrange was relying on a poor emulation of the ‘tits, trots, TV and track’ formula that John Sorell had invented for Maxwell Newton’s Melbourne Observer in the previous decade.

The Sunday Mirror failed.

Long continued to use Royale Press for my job printing, even earning a handy weekly commisison from introducing Terry Tayler's Coastal Telegraph newspaper as a regular print job.

Royale Press went into liquidation, despite clients operating in a ‘cash-with-copy’ basis.

The printing press was under the control of financier Joe Kadane, who put it briefly into the hands of Ron Levin from Conform Press.

After Conform went broke, Kadane offered the $90,000 press to Long - with easy weekly instalments, and 25 per cent interest. Long said “no thanks”.

The press was purchased by Theo Skalkos for his S & G Rotary Printery and Foreign Language Publications in West Melbourne.

It was used for his daily Greek Herald and weekly New Country titles, as well as the Serbo-Croatian Novosti, Spanish Herald and Australian Soccer publications.

Dern set himself up with a giant sheet fed printing machine in Abbotsford, and the short-lived Weblith Press looked after the printing of newspaper and book publishers.

Len Thompson also helped out by publishing large-print books of Miles Franklin's My Brilliant Career.

For some years, around the mid1980s, Dern Langlands operated a small commercial printery from a shop in Smith St, Collingwood, and later in Rosanna.

There was some more shady trading as he opened a hydroponics outlet, providing equipment fort ‘growers’.

Long says that by no means was a mentor, nor could he admire many of Langlands’s personal attributes.

Yet, for his friends, Langlands had a magical attraction.

Long was asked to deliver his eulogy after Dern’s death on January 14, 1996.

The focus of the tribute was not so much on the commercial failures, but Langlands’s days as Commodore of the Port Melbourne Yacht Club, his War service, the opportunities he gave to young media people, and the entrepreneurial spirit that surrounded his businesses.

These were ingredients, good and bad, to the Local Media story.

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 11

Observer Magazine

Stateside with Gavin Wood in West Hollywood

California, the golden state ■ Hi everyone, from my suite at the Ramada Plaza Hotel and Suites comes this week's news.

Out and About ■ Supremes singer Mary Wilson and author Mark Bego at Pip's on La Brea in LA celebrating her birthday and his book, Eat Like A Rock Star.

■ Neil Patrick Harris at Benjamin Steakhouse Prime in NYC. ■ Oprah Winfrey at the Milling Room on the Upper West Side in NYC after A Wrinkle in Time screening.

Powerful TV campaign ■ Everybody has seen the ads - actors, surfers, musicians, models swimming, hiking or lounging by the pool, all while encouraging people to travel to California.

These ‘Visit California’ ads are having an effect in at least one city in the Golden State, Los Angeles, the largest in California which has become a major destination for people travelling to the West Coast and the many Australians that arrive every day to frolic in the sun.

The hotel market has adjusted to meet the sharply increasing demand.

Trendy West Hollywood is leading that change and is one of the best examples of a high energy, stimulating, urban location with great restaurants, nightlife, art, culture and music.

Tourists are really drawn to this area given its access to Santa Monica Beach, Hollywood Hills, The Desert in Palm Springs and the Mountains.

There's just a lot of excitement and a lot of really fun things to do in West Hollywood.

The location of the Ramada Plaza Hotel and Suites is spectacular on Santa Monica Boulevard and walking distance to the famous Sunset Strip.

The Ramada Hotel and Suites on Santa Monica Boulevard is on the legendary Route 66 from Chicago to the Santa Monica Pier.

Lopez not wanting a fourth ● Celebrating this vibrant tourism destination is Ramada Plaza and Suites Managing Director, Alan Johnson, with Gavin Wood who has notched up 10 years living in West Hollywood.

Amber Heard, Dating Game ■ Elon Musk's ex, Amber Heard, clearly has a thing for bad boys: the actress has just shared a romantic dinner with Sean Penn.

Amid showing up at a series of Oscar parties also attended by billionaire Musk in Hollywood, sources confirmed that Johnny Depp's ex-wife Heard also enjoyed a late-night date with Penn.

The famous pair was spotted sharing dinner at A-list haunt the Tower Bar at the Sunset Tower Hotel over Oscar weekend.

A very special human ■ World-renowned physicist Stephen Hawking has passed away at the age of 76, his family confirmed through a spokesman.

The scientist, a defining force in the field of cosmology, claimed a slew of awards throughout his career.

He was diagnosed with the motor neurone disease amyotrophic lateral sclerosis at the age of 21.

His 1988 book, A Brief History of Time, catapulted him to fame with its stunning overview of how the universe came to be, and his work on black holes left an indelible imprint on the field of cosmology.

He died at his home in Cambridge.

US currency around world ■ The Bureau of Engraving and Printing prints billions of dollars - referred to as Federal Reserve notes each year for delivery to the Federal Reserve system.

US currency is used as a medium of exchange and store of value around the world. According to the Federal Reserve, there is approximately $1.39 trillion worth of Federal Reserve notes in circulation.

Fitness guru lost

GavinWood

From my Suite at the Ramada Plaza Complex on Santa Monica Blvd

Starlet, Cameron, done ■ Don't expect to see Cameron Diaz on the silver screen anymore. Selma Blair, who co-starred with Diaz, 45, in 2002's The Sweetest Thing, revealed the blond beauty is done with movies for good.

"I had lunch with Cameron the other day, we were reminiscing about the film," Blair, 45, told Metro News in an interview.

"I would have liked to do a sequel but Cameron's retired from acting, she's like, 'I'm done.' I mean, she doesn't need to make any more films, she has a pretty great life, I don't know what it would take to bring her back. She's happy."

Diaz, who hasn't appeared in a feature film since 2014's backto-back flops Sex Tape and Annie, previously spoke about why she took a step away from Hollywood.

Real story: how they met ■ Zsa Zsa Gabor's ninth husband, Prince Frederic von Anhalt, met her at an A-list bash that he crashed. The "prince," who bought his title, met Gabor in '82 at writer Sidney Sheldon's mansion, reports the Hollywood Reporter. Von Anhalt (formerly sauna owner Hans Georg Robert Lichtenberg) rented a Rolls Royce at Budget and paid two UCLA students $100 to pose as his driver and bodyguard. But when he arrived at the Holmby Hills, California house in faux royal garb, the "prince" noticed Sheldon's wife was at the door. Although they'd never met, she greeted him with, "Your royal highness." Sheldon even bowed.

■ It appears Jennifer Lopez hasn't ruled out a fourth trip to the altar. "I do believe in marriage," the pop diva said in the April issue of Harper's Bazaar, but Lopez, who was previously married to Ojani Noa, Cris Judd and Marc Anthony, isn't pushing boyfriend Alex Rodriguez, to put a ring on it anytime soon.

"I would love to grow old with somebody in a committed relationship. But I'm not forcing anything right now," Lopez said.

"It's good, it's healthy; we communicate well. We understand each other's lives in a way that most other people couldn't.”

■ Richard Simmons was ordered to pay nearly $130,000 to the National Enquirer and Radar Online after the exercise guru sued the two media outlets for running a series of articles alleging he was transitioning to become a woman.

Simmons, 69, was ordered by Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Gregory Keosian to pay the media outlets attorneys' fees, and American Media and their publisher.

Rapper dishes NRA ■ Eminem has given another politically charged performance by calling out the National Rifle Association in a freestyle rap at the iHeart Radio Music awards.

After being introduced by Alex Moscou, one of the survivors of the school shooting in Parkland, Florida, that left 17 dead, the rapper adapted his song Nowhere Fast to heavily criticise the NRA. The freestyle verse went: "This whole country is going nuts, and the NRA is in our way. They're responsible for this whole production. They hold the strings, they control the puppet. And they threaten to take donor bucks. So they know the government won't do nothing and no one's budging. Gun owners clutching their loaded weapons. They love their guns more than our children."

Last October, Eminem made headlines by dropping a vicious anti-Trump freestyle video at the BET Hip Hop Awards, referring to the president as "Donald the bitch."

Time for a holiday in the Los Angeles sun ● Cameron Diaz

Tough times for Tori ■ In the wake of police visits on two separate occasions, Tori Spelling has told her fans that she's doing OK. Over the weekend, the Tori & Dean star shared a cryptic message on Instagram that appeared to address rumours swirling about the state of her mental health. "I'm strong, I'm amazing, I'm beautiful, I'm wonderful, I'm worthy, I'm cherished, I'm brave, I'm sweet, I'm happy, I'm me," she wrote in an Instagram story.

www.gavinwood.us

■ If you are considering a move to Los Angeles or just coming over for a holiday then I have got a special deal for you.

We would love to see you at the Ramada Plaza Hotel and Suites, 8585 Santa Monica Boulevard, West Hollywood.

I have secured a terrific holiday deal for readers of the Melbourne Observer and The Local Paper.

Please mention 'Melbourne Observer' when you book and you will receive the 'Special Rate of the Day'.

Please contact: Joanna at info@ramadaweho.com Happy Holidays Gavin Wood

Page 12 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Local People

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Kinglake Country Fair at Kinglake Memorial Reserve Photos: Ash Long

● Lindy Haggar and Julie Van Der Eynden of Kinglake Ranges Arts

● Leigh Bradstreet and Aaron Cowell of Kinglake SES unit

● John Stewart and Roger Cook of Kinglake Landcare Group

● Cheryl Chalmers and Christine Exton of the Kinglake Historical Society

● Carol Westworth talks Rotary with Kin Payne and Lance Payne

● Linda Craske and Chris Lloyd of the Country Fire Authority

● Jessica Hall and Daryl Lloyd of Kinglake CFA

● Bob Burns and Denise Doerner of the Rotary Club of Kinglake Ranges

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Local People

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 13

Kinglake Country Fair at Kinglake Memorial Reserve Photos: Ash Long

● Sue McCormack and Belinda O’Grady of Kinglake Ranges Children’s Centre

● Event C’tee: Georgia Shuttleworth, Stacey Crowther and Anita Gottwalt

● Leigh Drew and Daniel Ford of Kinglake Junior Football Club

● Erwin Zuber and Genine Cowell of Kinglake SES

● Vicky Dunell, Ian Dunell and Lesley Szetey of Kinglake CERT

● Leena McDougall, Sacha Pidot and Kristy Crisp of Middle Kinglake PS

● Suzanne Sullivan and Martine Fraser of Kinglake West Primary School

● Sheren Walters and Tim Connell of Kinglake Scout Group

Page 14 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Observer Magazine

■ One of my favourite singers from the 1950s was Guy Mitchell. Thanks to Mike McHugh, from the Guy Mitchell Appreciation Society, I had the pleasure of recording a radio interview with this legend of American popular music in 1997.

Albert George Cernick was born in Detroit, Michigan, USA, in 1927.

After he left school he worked as a saddle maker. Albert drifted into singing on radio shows then he served in the Navy during WWII. In 1947 he joined Carmen Cavallaro's Band as a vocalist. He came to the attention of Mitch Millerat Columbia Recordswho said, "You seem like a nice "guy' and my name is Mitchell so we'll call you Guy Mitchell”.

Mitch Miller then set about creating a "new sound”. Mitch introduced the French Horns and a vocal backing group for the string of hit songs they produced in the early 1950s.

Guy sold millions of records and his hit songs included My Heart Cries For You, The Roving Kind, My Truly Truly Truly Fair, She Wears Red Feathers and Pittsburgh Pennsylvania. He told me, "They were great pub songs."

His film credits included Those Redheads From Seattle, Red Gartersand Mirth and Melody.

Guy performed in a Royal Command Performance for Queen Elizabeth in 1954.

In 1956 Guy Mitchell went to the top of the hit parade with his version of Singing The Blues.

In 1957 he was in Melbourne to do some

Whatever Happened To ...

Guy Mitchell

By Kevin Trask of 3AW and 96.5 Inner FM

television shows for Channel 7 at the old Teletheatre in Fitzroy.

Guy continued to record country songs but failed to achieve the same degree of success that he had with his earlier hits.

His last big success was in 1959 with a cover ofRay Price's Heartaches By The Number, written by Harlan Howard.

Guy Mitchell was a guest star in many television series including Perry Mason and Thriller.

In 1961 he had a regular acting role in the TV western series Whispering Smith playing opposite Audie Murphy.

Guy overcame his problems with alcohol and cancer and continued to perform at concerts throughout his life.

● Guy Mitchell

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

He told me he was a fan of my cousin Diana Trask and said that he thought Diana's version of the song Jessie was the best he had ever heard.

In 1997 there was a double CD released that was a great collection of his greatest hits.

It is one of my favourite CDs. In 1991 Guy had a bad accident whilst touring Australia and his life was saved by Australian doctors after his liver had been virtually cut in half after he rolled down a hill and landed on a metal bucket.

Guy was married three times: first to Jackie Loughery, a former Miss USA, in 1952; secondly to Elsa Soronson, formerly Miss Denmark, in 1956; and celebrated 25 years of marriage to his third wife, Betty.

Betty was with him when he passed away in 1999 at the age of 72 following an operation for cancer.

In his final years Guy had been living and working in Las Vegas. His last record was a children's album titled Dusty The Magic Elf. Guy Mitchell made us feel good with his bright happy songs. I treasure our radio interview and it was a privilege to be able to talk with him.

Kevin Trask Kevin can be heard on 3AW The Time Tunnel - on Remember When - Sundays at 9.10pm And on 96.5 FM That's Entertainment - Sundays at 12 Noon

Elvis Presley: ‘no discerning singing ability’ ■ It’s just as well he had a pretty thick skin, for had he not the world quite possibly may never have known Elvis Presley.

Because while teens crammed into sell-out venues at which he gyrated almost bizarrely around the stage to their screaming and yelling, when he first appeared on TV his pelvic gyrations were slammed by older critics as overtly sexual and bordering on obscenity – one network even ordering that he be filmed only from the waist up.

And after performing on the massaudience Milton Berle Show in 1956 in which he sang Hound Dog, New York Herald Tribune columnist John Crosby dismissed Presley as “unspeakably untalented and vulgar,” adding that his hip-and-pelvic antics “may doom rock ’roll.”

New York Times TV reporter and critic, Jack Gould also weighed-in, writing that Presley’s TV performances showed “he had no discernible singing ability,” while a major American high school’s head of mu● Elvis Presley sic told any journalists who would lisToday it produces on average just ten that Elvis’s performances “bor450 cases a year of Pinot Noir from a dered on obscenity (and) were such single strain of vines, that wine being an assault to the senses as to repel the described variously by connoisseurs most tolerant observer.” as “the scarcest, most expensive and Another critic slammed Presley as frequently best wine in the world,” “a a “convulsive shouter of rock ’n roll perfection of aroma and taste” and songs,” and a band-leader who re“the peak of Pinot Noir.” And if you jected Elvis’s suggestion he sing with want one of those cases of the latest that band, told him he should have vintage, it’ll cost you around stuck to truck driving, “because you AU$17,200 – IF there are any left. can’t sing” (Presley’s first job was Horses are still used in the vinedriving for an electrical goods comyard to avoid tractors compacting the pany.) soil, fertiliser for the vines is a homeAnd a California police officer afmade compost of crushed vine roots, ter watching Elvis at a concert told grape skins and residues from fermenTV reporters: “If he did that on the tation, and grape yields are kept low street, we’d arrest him.” through severe early season pruning Ironically Elvis Presley had no forto remove substandard fruit and conmal music training, could not read centrate flavour in the remainder. music, and his school music teacher And on picking, every grape is described him as having no aptitude hand examined for health and condiwith David Ellis for singing – so much for the eventual tion, meaning it can take the total fruit King of Rock ’n Roll, whose sales of French wine that the buyer’s going to selected from up to three vines to 1.5 billion records and albums world- no doubt spend plenty of time looking make just one bottle of wine. wide made him the biggest selling solo at, but in no way pull a cork.

The 152,750 pounds for the case artist of all time.

The vintage 1988 Pinot Noir came of 1988 was paid by a European wine from the Domaine de la Romanée- investor at a just-held Fine and Rare Conti vineyard in Burgundy, which at Wines auction conducted by British a mere 1.8ha (4.5 acres) is one of the auction firm Bonhams in London. If ■ An auction in London has just seen smallest estates in France, and was you’d like to see what other classic 152,750 pounds (around AU$262,680) first worked seriously by monks from wines they have coming up in future paid for a case of near-30 years old a local abbey back in 1232. auctions, go to www.bonhams.com

Struth

Dear drop

OK. With John O’Keefe Jo Hall sidelined by Crocmedia

■ Jo Hall, best known as a TV presenter at , has been dismissed from her radio side job because of a a drink driving charge.

Jo was presenter of the Sunday evening program, Great Australian Lives,’on 3AW. Crocmedia produces the program for replay on 3AW and a string of other platforms.

Crocmedia took Jo Hall to task and terminated her contract. Simon Owens and Phil ip Brady filled in last Sunday whilst Crocmedia search for a permanent replacement host.

Good Sports line-up named

■ Rex Hunt coined the phrase ‘Big Man who travels by train’ when he referred to fellow 3AW footy broadcaster Tony Leonard.

Currently the biggest rumour in radio land is Tony Leonard could be off to sister station Macquarie Media when they drop their Lifestyle format and go head to head with SEN. If it’s true what will become of Tony’s ‘Pub of the Week’ heard of a Friday with Neil Mitchell?

Also said to be moving to all-sport Macquarie is the ex-SEN duo David Schwartz and Mark Allen who both have considerable issues with SEN over allegedly unpaid salaries.

Chris in the Naughty Corner

■ Channel 9 Political Editor Chris Uhlmaun has been suspended from Federal Parliament for three days this week .

The suspension is in regard to his commentary about the recent controversy over Michaela Cash’s outrage during the Senate Estimates appearances. Uhlmaun commented: “I accept I broke the rules and I accept the umpire’s verdict.”

UK import takes on Gold show

■ Much awarded English broadcaster Christian O’Connell has set sail for Australia to take over the brekky show on Gold 104.3. O’Connell commences on June 4. He is full of bluster and the show’s format will centre on news of the day and sports. We’ll wait and see if an import can win the hearts and ears of Melbourne listeners – a big ask.

Tim Watson’s workload

■ Almost certain that popular Seven sports presenter Tim Watson will no longer be a panel member of Talking Football . Official line from the channel is the demanding workload Tim undertakes each week on Seven and SEN, but we believe there’s more to it . We, the poor viewers, will never know.

RIP Delilah

■ Readers will be saddened to hear the death of American born singer Delilah. She burst onto the Australian Tonight show scene in the seventies.

Her commercials for Campbell’s Cash and Carry made her even more famous but in reality made her depressed – singing gave her pleasure and whilst commercials paid the bills they were unfulfilling to the bubbly Delilah.

- John O’Keefe

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 15

Observer Classic Books

Hard Times - by Charles Dickens Meanwhile, the various members of Sleary’s company gradually gathered together from the upper regions, where they were quartered, and, from standing about, talking in low voices to one another and to Mr. Childers, gradually insinuated themselves and him into the room.

There were two or three handsome young women among them, with their two or three husbands, and their two or three mothers, and their eight or nine little children, who did the fairy business when required. The father of one of the families was in the habit of balancing the father of another of the families on the top of a great pole; the father of a third family often made a pyramid of both those fathers, with Master Kidderminster for the apex, and himself for the base; all the fathers could dance upon rolling casks, stand upon bottles, catch knives and balls, twirl hand-basins, ride upon anything, jump over everything, and stick at nothing. All the mothers could (and did) dance, upon the slack wire and the tight-rope, and perform rapid acts on barebacked steeds; none of them were at all particular in respect of showing their legs; and one of them, alone in a Greek chariot, drove six in hand into every town they came to. They all assumed to be mighty rakish and knowing, they were not very tidy in their private dresses, they were not at all orderly in their domestic arrangements, and the combined literature of the whole company would have produced but a poor letter on any subject. Yet there was a remarkable gentleness and childishness about these people, a special inaptitude for any kind of sharp practice, and an untiring readiness to help and pity one another, deserving often of as much respect, and always of as much generous construction, as the every-day virtues of any class of people in the world.

Last of all appeared Mr. Sleary: a stout man as already mentioned, with one fixed eye, and one loose eye, a voice (if it can be called so) like the efforts of a broken old pair of bellows, a flabby surface, and a muddled head which was never sober and never drunk.

‘Thquire!’ said Mr. Sleary, who was troubled with asthma, and whose breath came far too thick and heavy for the letter s, ‘Your thervant!

Thith ith a bad piethe of bithnith, thith ith. You’ve heard of my Clown and hith dog being thuppothed to have morrithed?’

He addressed Mr. Gradgrind, who answered ‘Yes.’ ‘Well, Thquire,’ he returned, taking off his hat, and rubbing the lining with his pocket-handkerchief, which he kept inside for the purpose. ‘Ith it your intenthion to do anything for the poor girl, Thquire?’

‘I shall have something to propose to her when she comes back,’ said Mr. Gradgrind.

‘Glad to hear it, Thquire. Not that I want to get rid of the child, any more than I want to thtand in her way. I’m willing to take her prentith, though at her age ith late. My voithe ith a little huthky, Thquire, and not eathy heard by them ath don’t know me; but if you’d been chilled and heated, heated and chilled, chilled and heated in the ring when you wath young, ath often ath I have been, your voithe wouldn’t have lathted out, Thquire, no more than mine.’

‘I dare say not,’ said Mr. Gradgrind.

‘What thall it be, Thquire, while you wait? Thall it be Therry? Give it a name, Thquire!’ said Mr. Sleary, with hospitable ease.

‘Nothing for me, I thank you,’ said Mr. Gradgrind.

‘Don’t thay nothing, Thquire. What doth your friend thay? If you haven’t took your feed yet, have a glath of bitterth.’

Here his daughter Josephine — a pretty fairhaired girl of eighteen, who had been tied on a horse at two years old, and had made a will at twelve, which she always carried about with her, expressive of her dying desire to be drawn to the grave by the two piebald ponies — cried, ‘Father, hush! she has come back!’ Then came Sissy Jupe, running into the room as she had run out of it. And when she saw them all assembled, and saw their looks, and saw no father there, she broke into a most deplorable cry, and took refuge on the bosom of the most accomplished tight-rope lady (herself in the family-way), who knelt down on the floor to nurse her, and to weep over her.

r

e rv se US N Ob N IO BO CT SE

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

wath much of a Cackler, Thquire, and I have thed my thay.’

The latter part of this speech was addressed to Mr. Gradgrind, who received it with a grave inclination of his head, and then remarked: ‘The only observation I will make to you, Jupe, in the way of influencing your decision, is, that it is highly desirable to have a sound practical ‘education, and that even your father himself (from what I understand) appears, on your behalf, to have known and felt that much.’

The last words had a visible effect upon her.

She stopped in her wild crying, a little detached herself from Emma Gordon, and turned her face full upon her patron. The whole company perceived the force of the change, and drew a long breath together, that plainly said, ‘she will go!’

‘Be sure you know your own mind, Jupe,’ Mr. Gradgrind cautioned her; ‘I say no more. Be sure you know your own mind!’

‘When father comes back,’ cried the girl, bursting into tears again after a minute’s silence, ‘how will he ever find me if I go away!’

‘You may be quite at ease,’ said Mr. Gradgrind, calmly; he worked out the whole matter like a sum: ‘you may be quite at ease, Jupe, on that score. In such a case, your father, I apprehend, must find out Mr. — ’ ‘Thleary. Thath my name, Thquire. Not athamed of it. Known all over England, and alwayth paythe ith way.’

‘Must find out Mr. Sleary, who would then let him know where you went. I should have no power of keeping you against his wish, and he would have no difficulty, at any time, in finding Mr. Thomas Gradgrind of Coketown. I am well known.’

‘Well known,’ assented Mr. Sleary, rolling his loose eye. ‘You’re one of the thort, Thquire, that keepth a prethiouth thight of money out of the houthe. But never mind that at prethent.’

There was another silence; and then she exclaimed, sobbing with her hands before her face, ‘Oh, give me my clothes, give me my clothes, and let me go away before I break my heart!’

The women sadly bestirred themselves to get the clothes together — it was soon done, for they were not many — and to pack them in a basket which had often travelled with them. Sissy sat all the time upon the ground, still sobbing, and covering her eyes. Mr. Gradgrind and his friend Bounderby stood near the door, ready to take her away. Mr. Sleary stood in the middle of Charles Dickens the room, with the male members of the com‘Ith an internal thame, upon my thoul it ith,’ said ‘It is of no moment,’ said he, ‘whether this per- pany about him, exactly as he would have stood Sleary. son is to be expected back at any time, or the in the centre of the ring during his daughter ‘O my dear father, my good kind father, where contrary. He is gone away, and there is no present Josephine’s performance. He wanted nothing are you gone? You are gone to try to do me expectation of his return. That, I believe, is but his whip. some good, I know! You are gone away for my agreed on all hands.’

The basket packed in silence, they brought her sake, I am sure! And how miserable and help- ‘Thath agreed, Thquire. Thick to that!’ From bonnet to her, and smoothed her disordered hair, less you will be without me, poor, poor father, Sleary. and put it on. Then they pressed about her, and until you come back!’ It was so pathetic to hear ‘Well then. I, who came here to inform the fa- bent over her in very natural attitudes, kissing her saying many things of this kind, with her ther of the poor girl, Jupe, that she could not be and embracing her: and brought the children to face turned upward, and her arms stretched out received at the school any more, in consequence take leave of her; and were a tender-hearted, as if she were trying to stop his departing shadow of there being practical objections, into which I simple, foolish set of women altogether. and embrace it, that no one spoke a word until need not enter, to the reception there of the chil- ‘Now, Jupe,’ said Mr. Gradgrind. ‘If you are quite Mr. Bounderby (growing impatient) took the dren of persons so employed, am prepared in determined, come!’ case in hand. these altered circumstances to make a proposal. But she had to take her farewell of the male part ‘Now, good people all,’ said he, ‘this is wanton I am willing to take charge of you, Jupe, and to of the company yet, and every one of them had waste of time. Let the girl understand the fact. educate you, and provide for you. The only con- to unfold his arms (for they all assumed the proLet her take it from me, if you like, who have dition (over and above your good behaviour) I fessional attitude when they found themselves been run away from, myself. Here, what’s your make is, that you decide now, at once, whether near Sleary), and give her a parting kiss — name! Your father has absconded — deserted to accompany me or remain here. Also, that if Master Kidderminster excepted, in whose young you — and you mustn’t expect to see him again you accompany me now, it is understood that nature there was an original flavour of the misas long as you live.’ you communicate no more with any of your anthrope, who was also known to have They cared so little for plain Fact, these people, friends who are here present. These observa- harboured matrimonial views, and who moodand were in that advanced state of degeneracy tions comprise the whole of the case.’ ily withdrew. Mr. Sleary was reserved until the on the subject, that instead of being impressed ‘At the thame time,’ said Sleary, ‘I mutht put in last. Opening his arms wide he took her by both by the speaker’s strong common sense, they my word, Thquire, tho that both thides of the her hands, and would have sprung her up and took it in extraordinary dudgeon. The men mut- banner may be equally theen. If you like, down, after the riding-master manner of contered Shame!’ and the women ‘Brute!’ and Thethilia, to be prentitht, you know the natur of gratulating young ladies on their dismounting Sleary, in some haste, communicated the fol- the work and you know your companionth. from a rapid act; but there was no rebound in lowing hint, apart to Mr. Bounderby.

Emma Gordon, in whothe lap you’re a lying at Sissy, and she only stood before him crying.

‘I tell you what, Thquire. To thpeak plain to prethent, would be a mother to you, and ‘Good-bye, my dear!’ said Sleary. ‘You’ll make you, my opinion ith that you had better cut it Joth’phine would be a thithter to you. I don’t your fortun, I hope, and none of our poor folkth thort, and drop it. They’re a very good natur’d pretend to be of the angel breed myself, and I will ever trouble you, I’ll pound it. I with your people, my people, but they’re accuthtomed to don’t thay but what, when you mith’d your tip, father hadn’t taken hith dog with him; ith a illbe quick in their movementh; and if you don’t you’d find me cut up rough, and thwear an oath conwenienth to have the dog out of the billth. act upon my advithe, I’m damned if I don’t be- or two at you. But what I thay, Thquire, ith, that But on thecond thoughth, he wouldn’t have perlieve they’ll pith you out o’ winder.’ good tempered or bad tempered, I never did a formed without hith mathter, tho ith ath broad Mr. Bounderby being restrained by this mild sug- horthe a injury yet, no more than thwearing at ath ith long!’ gestion, Mr. Gradgrind found an opening for his him went, and that I don’t expect I thall begin With that he regarded her attentively with his eminently practical exposition of the subject. otherwithe at my time of life, with a rider. I never Continued on Page 16

Page 16 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Observer Classic Books From Page 15 fixed eye, surveyed his company with his loose one, kissed her, shook his head, and handed her to Mr. Gradgrind as to a horse.

‘There the ith, Thquire,’ he said, sweeping her with a professional glance as if she were being adjusted in her seat, ‘and the’ll do you juthtithe.

Good-bye, Thethilia!’

‘Good-bye, Cecilia!’ ‘Good-bye, Sissy!’ ‘God bless you, dear!’ In a variety of voices from all the room.

But the riding-master eye had observed the bottle of the nine oils in her bosom, and he now interposed with ‘Leave the bottle, my dear; ith large to carry; it will be of no uthe to you now. Give it to me!’

‘No, no!’ she said, in another burst of tears. ‘Oh, no! Pray let me keep it for father till he comes back! He will want it when he comes back. He had never thought of going away, when he sent me for it. I must keep it for him, if you please!’

‘Tho be it, my dear. (You thee how it ith, Thquire!)

Farewell, Thethilia! My latht wordth to you ith thith, Thtick to the termth of your engagement, be obedient to the Thquire, and forget uth. But if, when you’re grown up and married and well off, you come upon any horthe-riding ever, don’t be hard upon it, don’t be croth with it, give it a Bethpeak if you can, and think you might do wurth. People mutht be amuthed, Thquire, thomehow,’ continued Sleary, rendered more pursy than ever, by so much talking; ‘they can’t be alwayth a working, nor yet they can’t be alwayth a learning. Make the betht of uth; not the wurtht. I’ve got my living out of the hortheriding all my life, I know; but I conthider that I lay down the philothophy of the thubject when I thay to you, Thquire, make the betht of uth: not the wurtht!’

The Sleary philosophy was propounded as they went downstairs and the fixed eye of Philosophy — and its rolling eye, too — soon lost the three figures and the basket in the darkness of the street.

Chapter VII— Mrs. Sparsit Mr. Bounderby being a bachelor, an elderly lady presided over his establishment, in consideration of a certain annual stipend. Mrs. Sparsit was this lady’s name; and she was a prominent figure in attendance on Mr. Bounderby’s car, as it rolled along in triumph with the Bully of humility inside.

For, Mrs. Sparsit had not only seen different days, but was highly connected. She had a great aunt living in these very times called Lady Scadgers. Mr. Sparsit, deceased, of whom she was the relict, had been by the mother’s side what Mrs. Sparsit still called ‘a Powler.’Strangers of limited information and dull apprehension were sometimes observed not to know what a Powler was, and even to appear uncertain whether it might be a business, or a political party, or a profession of faith. The better class of minds, however, did not need to be informed that the Powlers were an ancient stock, who could trace themselves so exceedingly far back that it was not surprising if they sometimes lost themselves — which they had rather frequently done, as respected horse-flesh, blind-hookey, Hebrew monetary transactions, and the Insolvent Debtors’ Court.

The late Mr. Sparsit, being by the mother’s side a Powler, married this lady, being by the father’s side a Scadgers. Lady Scadgers (an immensely fat old woman, with an inordinate appetite for butcher’s meat, and a mysterious leg which had now refused to get out of bed for fourteen years) contrived the marriage, at a period when Sparsit was just of age, and chiefly noticeable for a slender body, weakly supported on two long slim props, and surmounted by no head worth mentioning. He inherited a fair fortune from his uncle, but owed it all before he came into it, and spent it twice over immediately afterwards. Thus, when he died, at twenty-four (the scene of his decease, Calais, and the cause, brandy), he did not leave his widow, from whom he had been separated soon after the honeymoon, in affluent circumstances. That bereaved lady, fifteen years older than he, fell presently at deadly feud with her only relative, Lady Scadgers; and, partly to spite her ladyship, and partly to maintain herself, went out at a salary. And here she was now, in her elderly days, with the Coriolanian style of nose and the dense black eyebrows which had captivated Sparsit, making Mr. Bounderby’s tea as he took his breakfast.

If Bounderby had been a Conqueror, and Mrs. Sparsit a captive Princess whom he took about as a feature in his state-processions, he could

not have made a greater flourish with her than he habitually did. Just as it belonged to his boastfulness to depreciate his own extraction, so it belonged to it to exalt Mrs. Sparsit’s. In the measure that he would not allow his own youth to have been attended by a single favourable circumstance, he brightened Mrs. Sparsit’s juvenile career with every possible advantage, and showered waggon-loads of early roses all over that lady’s path. ‘And yet, sir,’ he would say, ‘how does it turn out after all? Why here she is at a hundred a year (I give her a hundred, which she is pleased to term handsome), keeping the house of Josiah Bounderby of Coketown!’

Nay, he made this foil of his so very widely known, that third parties took it up, and handled it on some occasions with considerable briskness. It was one of the most exasperating attributes of Bounderby, that he not only sang his own praises but stimulated other men to sing them. There was a moral infection of clap-trap in him. Strangers, modest enough elsewhere, started up at dinners in Coketown, and boasted, in quite a rampant way, of Bounderby. They made him out to be the Royal arms, the Union– Jack, Magna Charta, John Bull, Habeas Corpus, the Bill of Rights, An Englishman’s house is his castle, Church and State, and God save the Queen, all put together. And as often (and it was very often) as an orator of this kind brought into his peroration, ‘Princes and lords may flourish or may fade, A breath can make them, as a breath has made,’ — it was, for certain, more or less understood among the company that he had heard of Mrs. Sparsit.

‘Mr. Bounderby,’ said Mrs. Sparsit, ‘you are unusually slow, sir, with your breakfast this morning.’

‘Why, ma’am,’ he returned, ‘I am thinking about Tom Gradgrind’s whim;’ Tom Gradgrind, for a bluff independent manner of speaking — as if somebody were always endeavouring to bribe him with immense sums to say Thomas, and he wouldn’t; ‘Tom Gradgrind’s whim, ma’am, of bringing up the tumbling-girl.’

‘The girl is now waiting to know,’ said Mrs. Sparsit, ‘whether she is to go straight to the school, or up to the Lodge.’

‘She must wait, ma’am,’ answered Bounderby, ‘till I know myself. We shall have Tom Gradgrind down here presently, I suppose. If he should wish her to remain here a day or two longer, of course she can, ma’am.’

‘Of course she can if you wish it, Mr. Bounderby.’

‘I told him I would give her a shake-down here, last night, in order that he might sleep on it before he decided to let her have any association with Louisa.’

‘Indeed, Mr. Bounderby? Very thoughtful of you!’ Mrs. Sparsit’s Coriolanian nose underwent a slight expansion of the nostrils, and her black eyebrows contracted as she took a sip of tea.

‘It’s tolerably clear to me,’ said Bounderby, ‘that the little puss can get small good out of such companionship.’

‘Are you speaking of young Miss Gradgrind, Mr. Bounderby?’

‘Yes, ma’am, I’m speaking of Louisa.’

‘Your observation being limited to “little puss,”’ said Mrs. Sparsit, ‘and there being two little girls in question, I did not know which might be indicated by that expression.’

‘Louisa,’ repeated Mr. Bounderby. ‘Louisa, Louisa.’

‘You are quite another father to Louisa, sir.’ Mrs. Sparsit took a little more tea; and, as she bent her again contracted eyebrows over her steaming cup, rather looked as if her classical countenance were invoking the infernal gods.

‘If you had said I was another father to Tom — young Tom, I mean, not my friend Tom Gradgrind — you might have been nearer the mark. I am going to take young Tom into my office. Going to have him under my wing, ma’am.’

‘Indeed? Rather young for that, is he not, sir?’

Mrs. Spirit’s ‘sir,’ in addressing Mr. Bounderby, was a word of ceremony, rather exacting consideration for herself in the use, than honouring him.

‘I’m not going to take him at once; he is to finish his educational cramming before then,’ said Bounderby. ‘By the Lord Harry, he’ll have enough of it, first and last! He’d open his eyes, that boy would, if he knew how empty of learning my young maw was, at his time of life.’

Which, by the by, he probably did know, for he had heard of it often enough. ‘But it’s extraordinary the difficulty I have on scores of such sub-

jects, in speaking to any one on equal terms.

Here, for example, I have been speaking to you this morning about tumblers. Why, what do you know about tumblers? At the time when, to have been a tumbler in the mud of the streets, would have been a godsend to me, a prize in the lottery to me, you were at the Italian Opera. You were coming out of the Italian Opera, ma’am, in white satin and jewels, a blaze of splendour, when I hadn’t a penny to buy a link to light you.’

‘I certainly, sir,’ returned Mrs. Sparsit, with a dignity serenely mournful, ‘was familiar with the Italian Opera at a very early age.’

‘Egad, ma’am, so was I,’ said Bounderby, ‘ — with the wrong side of it. A hard bed the pavement of its Arcade used to make, I assure you.

People like you, ma’am, accustomed from infancy to lie on Down feathers, have no idea how hard a paving-stone is, without trying it. No, no, it’s of no use my talking to you about tumblers. I should speak of foreign dancers, and the West End of London, and May Fair, and lords and ladies and honourables.’

‘I trust, sir,’ rejoined Mrs. Sparsit, with decent resignation, ‘it is not necessary that you should do anything of that kind. I hope I have learnt how to accommodate myself to the changes of life. If I have acquired an interest in hearing of your instructive experiences, and can scarcely hear enough of them, I claim no merit for that, since I believe it is a general sentiment.’

‘Well, ma’am,’ said her patron, ‘perhaps some people may be pleased to say that they do like to hear, in his own unpolished way, what Josiah Bounderby, of Coketown, has gone through. But you must confess that you were born in the lap of luxury, yourself. Come, ma’am, you know you were born in the lap of luxury.’

‘I do not, sir,’ returned Mrs. Sparsit with a shake of her head, ‘deny it.’

Mr. Bounderby was obliged to get up from table, and stand with his back to the fire, looking at her; she was such an enhancement of his position.

‘And you were in crack society. Devilish high society,’ he said, warming his legs.

‘It is true, sir,’ returned Mrs. Sparsit, with an affectation of humility the very opposite of his, and therefore in no danger of jostling it.

‘You were in the tiptop fashion, and all the rest of it,’ said Mr. Bounderby.

‘Yes, sir,’ returned Mrs. Sparsit, with a kind of social widowhood upon her. ‘It is unquestionably true.’

Mr. Bounderby, bending himself at the knees, literally embraced his legs in his great satisfaction and laughed aloud. Mr. and Miss Gradgrind being then announced, he received the former with a shake of the hand, and the latter with a kiss.

‘Can Jupe be sent here, Bounderby?’ asked Mr. Gradgrind.

Certainly. So Jupe was sent there. On coming in, she curtseyed to Mr. Bounderby, and to his friend Tom Gradgrind, and also to Louisa; but in her confusion unluckily omitted Mrs. Sparsit.

Observing this, the blustrous Bounderby had the following remarks to make: ‘Now, I tell you what, my girl. The name of that lady by the teapot, is Mrs. Sparsit. That lady acts as mistress of this house, and she is a highly connected lady. Consequently, if ever you come again into any room in this house, you will make a short stay in it if you don’t behave towards that lady in your most respectful manner. Now, I don’t care a button what you do to me, because I don’t affect to be anybody. So far from having high connections I have no connections at all, and I come of the scum of the earth. But towards that lady, I do care what you do; and you shall do what is deferential and respectful, or you shall not come here.’

‘I hope, Bounderby,’ said Mr. Gradgrind, in a conciliatory voice, ‘that this was merely an oversight.’

‘My friend Tom Gradgrind suggests, Mrs. Sparsit,’ said Bounderby, ‘that this was merely an oversight. Very likely. However, as you are aware, ma’am, I don’t allow of even oversights towards you.’

‘You are very good indeed, sir,’ returned Mrs. Sparsit, shaking her head with her State humility. ‘It is not worth speaking of.’

Sissy, who all this time had been faintly excusing herself with tears in her eyes, was now waved over by the master of the house to Mr. Gradgrind. She stood looking intently at him, and Louisa stood coldly by, with her eyes upon the ground, while he proceeded thus: ‘Jupe, I have made up my mind to take you into

my house; and, when you are not in attendance at the school, to employ you about Mrs. Gradgrind, who is rather an invalid. I have explained to Miss Louisa — this is Miss Louisa — the miserable but natural end of your late career; and you are to expressly understand that the whole of that subject is past, and is not to be referred to any more. From this time you begin your history. You are, at present, ignorant, I know.’

‘Yes, sir, very,’she answered, curtseying.

‘I shall have the satisfaction of causing you to be strictly educated; and you will be a living proof to all who come into communication with you, of the advantages of the training you will receive. You will be reclaimed and formed. You have been in the habit now of reading to your father, and those people I found you among, I dare say?’ said Mr. Gradgrind, beckoning her nearer to him before he said so, and dropping his voice.

‘Only to father and Merrylegs, sir. At least I mean to father, when Merrylegs was always there.’

‘Never mind Merrylegs, Jupe,’ said Mr. Gradgrind, with a passing frown. ‘I don’t ask about him. I understand you to have been in the habit of reading to your father?’

‘O, yes, sir, thousands of times. They were the happiest — O, of all the happy times we had together, sir!’

It was only now when her sorrow broke out, that Louisa looked at her.

‘And what,’ asked Mr. Gradgrind, in a still lower voice, ‘did you read to your father, Jupe?’

‘About the Fairies, sir, and the Dwarf, and the Hunchback, and the Genies,’ she sobbed out; ‘and about — ’ ‘Hush!’ said Mr. Gradgrind, ‘that is enough.

Never breathe a word of such destructive nonsense any more. Bounderby, this is a case for rigid training, and I shall observe it with interest.’

‘Well,’ returned Mr. Bounderby, ‘I have given you my opinion already, and I shouldn’t do as you do. But, very well, very well. Since you are bent upon it, very well!’

So, Mr. Gradgrind and his daughter took Cecilia Jupe off with them to Stone Lodge, and on the way Louisa never spoke one word, good or bad.

And Mr. Bounderby went about his daily pursuits. And Mrs. Sparsit got behind her eyebrows and meditated in the gloom of that retreat, all the evening.

ChapterVIII— Never Wonder LET us strike the key-note again, before pursuing the tune.

When she was half a dozen years younger, Louisa had been overheard to begin a conversation with her brother one day, by saying ‘Tom, I wonder’ — upon which Mr. Gradgrind, who was the person overhearing, stepped forth into the light and said, ‘Louisa, never wonder!’

Herein lay the spring of the mechanical art and mystery of educating the reason without stooping to the cultivation of the sentiments and affections. Never wonder. By means of addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division, settle everything somehow, and never wonder. Bring to me, says M’Choakumchild, yonder baby just able to walk, and I will engage that it shall never wonder.

Now, besides very many babies just able to walk, there happened to be in Coketown a considerable population of babies who had been walking against time towards the infinite world, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty years and more. These portentous infants being alarming creatures to stalk about in any human society, the eighteen denominations incessantly scratched one another’s faces and pulled one another’s hair by way of agreeing on the steps to be taken for their improvement — which they never did; a surprising circumstance, when the happy adaptation of the means to the end is considered. Still, although they differed in every other particular, conceivable and inconceivable (especially inconceivable), they were pretty well united on the point that these unlucky infants were never to wonder. Body number one, said they must take everything on trust. Body number two, said they must take everything on political economy. Body number three, wrote leaden little books for them, showing how the good grown-up baby invariably got to the Savings-bank, and the bad grownup baby invariably got transported. Body number four, under dreary pretences of being droll (when it was very melancholy indeed), made the shallowest pretences of concealing pitfalls of knowledge, into which it was the duty of these babies to be smuggled and inveigled.

To Be Continued Next Issue

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 17

Observer Crossword Solution No 27 A A C U M B E U N R N E S D A O W H N O T B F L O T O D P E I D P P A I N A G E R S O P S L A N P E U S N C O T U N R E P S I S T G O L

D M E M O E T D E W A R R D S I A L N H O O R R X I B E L L E U S T I V A E D J F A C E E N T N U A R S T E M A A I D D E N N B I S

I S P L A E A E A N N E T D M O N R T O W I O N W E B Y O R R E S I S K Y N E E N D X S I T R V E R T A A A I V I E R N N U B N U M B S N E M I L E R U S E L I C I T L K A S Y M M P R B E O R R O D T O E C K L I E M A D P L O V E P A W D I N D E D E D E T O P A S E M I C T H R S M E W D E L A N A N C T I

C I N S S E O C U A R N E T S T O R O M K E L O A N F

N G N O M L E S D U R R E D S S E G A G O U N S U R R P L

E R E P P T A S H I D N E T R I A L E C T E K O B S E N E N R A T E R R T L Y E C E N T A N P R O L S O N M H O A T Y N B H I R A I O N E D

S I C K A P A A M O N O P O R A U C E W H A V O S I S L D I V A N U N H E A I S M U S I M A N T A F F G E R O S T R I L I N I M A G A T E E T R H I L A T N R A N G E R C R C A L D O O Z O S I V T E N N E S S T P I C A I O I U N C L S H T E L E S S Q S Y U K O G U E H P R I O O P S I E L E A G O L V F M T R A I

B A Y A A K W K L I S E R M O T O E N P T E L E E D N O S R D O F I U C A L M O E T A T E C H E S A C I C O K E R M T E L I S M N O U S L S O R E F N E T P I S S E E G R S S O T W E A R N I C O P E L S O N V S E R E E S R S T E A L U E R E P I O P I N E E

M A N H A A D R I D R E V A S R T R E V V I S E P A O P U L E P R E V L N A N S T U G E T E R E A H E E S N R Y P A A T W R I N G Y I N R I G E M M P A L E E I L L E D E K E E D A G S E E S T C H E Y N O N I T Y C O O L D O R D E D L G I M E N S I G H

A N E B A P I O L O I T A E N N A I M E L I

D L I L D O N O I R R E C E O F L O N N E A R T D E E E A C K E R T M I R I S O N N E E D A N R A T E I E H S C A P N I N G O C E E R A W S G O F E N N E O N S G K E D B A S R L Y E B P E T I D T T S E E

E S C R Y T H T E E E D Z F R A Y A S S A T C O S N I S W H H I N S K U P T P O E D R A U T E G M O T G A Z C T I D I G O M R S

B L A U B A L R E T H O R I N T I D S U P L T I C E A T C O E R N T E R A L L U B U R I N C A T P E O S I N U T E B D L L Y E G A I C Y

D

E R O T I C I S M

C K T E A R G A S S H

G E M S T O N E S

K

Church

Looking for a Professional to run the show? ★ Compere/Host ★ Auctioneer ★ Promotions ★ A-Grade Journalist ★ Voice-Over Commercials ★ Race Caller All Sports, Race Nights ★ TV, Radio, Press ★ Respected Member of the Media

Ted Ryan Phone 9876 1652 Mobile: 0412 682 927 E-Mail: tedryan@australiaonline.net.au ted.ryan@optusnet.com.au

Page 18 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Homemaker

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

www.MelbourneObser ver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 19

Homemaker

Page 20 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Homemaker

Mattresses Galore open mon - fri 9am-5 pm saturday 9am-4pm sunday 10am-4pm Mattresses Galore supply a wide range of homeware products. including; Beds, Mattresses, Bedroom Furniture, Manchester

ALL LEADING BRANDS SUSSEX BUNK SINGLE or KING SINGLE OPTIONAL TRUNDLE STORAGE

BRANDENBURG TRUE CAST IRON Many options

ELEGANCE CAST Special to clear Singles and King Singles HEAD, FOOT, RAILS AND SLATS 42% OFF UNDER $ 500 WHILE STOCKS LAST

SWANN 4 POSTER AUSTRALIAN MADE HARDWOOD VARIOUS STAINS

Sealy Sleepmaker Crown Comfort Sleep Sleepbetter Permarest Chiropedic Bedmaster Slumber Comfort

10% EXTRA DISCOUNT FOR MENTIONING MELBOURNE OBSERVER Cnr High St & Tooronga Rd, Malvern, 3144 Phone: (03) 9822 9057. Fax: (03) 9822 9821 www.mattressesgalore.com.au info@mattressesgalore.com.au

FREE DELIVERY Melbourne Metro and Peninsula

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 21

Homemaker

www.oldvictorianfencing.com.au

Page 22 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Healthy Living

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 23

Healthy Living

Page 24 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Molesworth Easter Bazaar and Auction 2018 Easter Saturday March 31 at 10 am Molesworth Recreation Reserve

Santorini on Mudjimba Beachfront accommodation on the Sunshine Coast 4 STAR ACCOMMODATION IN MUDJIMBA, SUNSHINE COAST, QUEENSLAND This four star resort offers you the opportunity to get away from it all. You can do as much or as little as your heart desires. Come and experience Mudjimba, the way the beach used to be.

Just 5 minutes from Sunshine Coast Airport, Santorini Resort on Mudjimba Beach is a favourite for families, sporting groups and romantic escapes. The Mudjimba surf patrolled beach is on your doorstep and the parkland opposite comes complete with barbecues, shaded picnic areas and children’s playground. The beach captures the very essence of what makes the Sunshine Coast so special; with golden sands stretching as far as the eye can see.

In keeping with its prime beachside location, Santorini on Mudjimba will meet all your expectations for a holi-

day to remember. The apartments are spacious and well appointed.

Santorini’s onsite facilities include a resort style swimming pool, half court tennis and a large BBQ & entertainment area. The resort is a non-smoking facility.

Come and experience this unique and convenient location on the Sunshine Coast’s pristine coastline.

Mention this advert or visit our website for special direct booking discounts. www.santorinitw.com

A selection of Items for sale to date. Further entries invited.

Motor vehicles, bikes and parts, mowers Yamaha XS 250 rare road bike registered, Flymo mower, Farm and Workshop Massey Ferguson 550 tractor with front end loader and 3PTL carry all, 3 gang finishing mower, "Forward" box trailer 7' X 5' lights and registered, Poly water tank, Plastic bags 900 x 600 in lots of 100, Stock crate for ute, Fordson tractor seat, 3ptl ripper, Front end loader forks, Large pulley block, Trailer 20' wooden deck registered under body tool boxes each side, Fire fighting pump hoses and nozzles, Slasher walk behind, Irrigation cabling, B&D circular saw, Circular saw bench, Barrow Saw c/w New Record engine, Pressure pump Orange HT100, Leisure and Garden Bench seats, Pull along garden cart, Rabbit cage, Large parrot cage, Avery "classic" 9' x 3' x 6' high dome roof, Men's Northern Star bike, 2 ladies bikes Huffy, Wrought iron garden furniture, Hand held tree lopper/ saw, Flymo mower, Garden tools, Gas/electric caravan frig, Lawn mowers and whipper snipper, Garden ornaments and art incl concrete bird bath, concrete Ned Kelly horse shoe art domes, Exercise bike, Triangle shade cloth, Caravan level ride tow hitch, 12v light and battery, 2 man tent, Mini hot house, Honda blower, Camp oven, Campmaster camp chair, Hose reel and hose, Honey 2 frame extractor, Racing Future1 drone c/w camera, Science Tech Astronomical telescope, Hand help tree lopper, Household Solid timber coffee table, Cedar toy box, Ornamental elephants, Collection of pewters, Sets of glass ware, Costume jewellery, Glass top table, Steel umbrella stand, Lectern, Pot belly stove, Portable air conditioner, Old wooden chairs, Fowler preserving jars, Coonara inbuilt wood fired heater, Computer desk w/ CD rack, Art Deco house lights (no wiring), Baby walker, Arbour 25 English Plane trees 1 2 m; 6 large gardenia; 8 small gardenias, 8 Illawarra flame trees 1.8m; 500 eucalyptus tubes, 25 flowering gums 1m, 3 large platters, Antiques Milk and cream cans, Cross cut saws, Antique lamps, Oil bottles, Picture frames, Bread crock, Aladdin kero lamp, Light fittings circa 1930, Watches, English oak chairs 100yr old.

Sandstone grinder, Horse drawn garden plough, Large range of collectable items. Rabbit traps, Chair for restoration, Cider chest of drawers, Bed side cupboard, Kitchen dresser, Coat rack with morrow, Blackwood side board circa 1930, Ronaldson Tippett 4 hp motor, Tonka toys, Hurricane lamps, Steel wheels, Visit our website at for an up to date list of sale items www.molesworth.info Publicans Booth, Breakfast, Lunch and Refreshments available on site Local produce and Craft will be sold at the Molesworth Community Hall Further auction information, Contact Les Ridd on 57 976 252 or 0427 310 213 Email lesridd@gmail.com Proceeds to local amenities and district charities

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 25

Page 26 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

www.MelbourneObser ver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 27

Page 28 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

includes Stitch Regulator, worth $795

$4499

Price $999

Save $500

Save $100

$499

Many More Brands and Models to Choose From

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 29

Page 30 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 31

Page 32 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 33

Antiques and Collectables

Page 34 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 35

Here at Mansfield's Health Foods Store, we offer thousands of lines.

We carry a complete range of vitamins, supplements, protein powders, skincare, hair care, health foods, bulk foods for savings and freshness, organic meats and wines.

We also have an amazing range of gifts, jewellery, spiritual Tarot cards and boks.

We have loads of Himalayan salt lamps and products, essential oils and diffusers, candles, incense, scarves, gemstones and crystals.

Call in and check us out when in town ... you will pleasantly surprised. Our trained and friendly staff are ready to offer advice on your healthy journey.

All Things Natural & Organic 25 High St, Mansfield. Ph: 5779 1705

Page 36 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Buying Guide

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 37

Page 38 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

www.MelbourneObser ver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 39

Best Places

Church

Page 40 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Best Places

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Best Places

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 41

Page 42 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Best Places

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 43

Best Places

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Page 44 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Places To Go

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 45

Best Places

Page 46 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Best Places

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 47

Best Places

Page 48 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Best Places

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 49

Best Places

Page 50 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Best Places

www.apocketoflollies.com.au

www.MelbourneObser ver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 51

Best Places

Page 52 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Places To Go

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 53

Places To Go

Vintage Model Holden Display • Old Bottles For Sale • FREE ENTRY

Page 54 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Places To Go

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 55

Maeburn Cottages 33 Mairburn Rd, Metung VIC 3904 Phone: (03) 5156 2736 www.maeburncottages.com.au

Relax and unwind at Maeburn’s luxury lakeside Cottages, set in an acre of established parklike gardens and positioned for privacy with ample adjacent parking and a ramp for easy access.

For that quintessential family holiday in Metung you can’t go past Maeburn Cottages! The ideal getaway for couples, families, friends and large groups of up to 20.

Cottage 1 The Queen Suite (front part of the main house) Main bedroom has a queen bed.

Second bedroom has a queen bed.

LCD TV. Kitchenette.

Private Tepanyaki BBQ and verandah.

Cottage 2 Main bedroom has a queen bed.

Second bedroom - one single bed.

Double sofabed in lounge.

Cottage 3 Main bedroom has a queen bed.

Second bedroom - one single bed and a king single bed.

Cottage 4 Main bedroom has a queen bed.

Second bedroom has a queen bed.

Every cottage has a dining and living area.

Cottages 2, 3 and 4 have a dining and living area with an 81cm LCD TV, DVD player and reverse cycle air-conditioning. Kitchens are equipped with stoves, microwaves, refrigerators, crockery, cutlery and cooking utensils.

Cottages 2, 3 and 4 have a washing machine, clothes line and dryer. Linen and towels for hire or BYO. Blankets and pillows are provided. New wooden deck with pergola and outdoor furniture.

We are Pet Friendly - well behaved, clean and brushed dogs allowed.

Page 56 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Observer Victorian Sport

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne

Boort Cup to Motu Meteor ■ Sunday March 18 was Boort Cup Day in Central Victoria, with the feature event - the $14,500 Councillor Neil Beattie & Family Boort Pacing Cup going to ex-Kiwi Bettors DelightSilkngems 4Y0 gelding Motu Meteor for Great Western's Kerryn Manning.

Starting from gate two on the second line, Motu Meteor possied beautifully three back in the moving line as polemarker Christmas Jot (Grant Campbell) retained the front running.

Going forward after travelling a short distance to park outside the leader, Kerryn controlled the 2250 metre race to a nicety knowing full well the expectations of her runner.

Gaining the upper hand on straightening, Motu Meteor defied all challengers to defeat Jedi Mind which trailed the pacemaker, easing three wide on turning by 4.3 metres, which Christmas Jolt weakening to finish third 1.9 metres away.

Raced by Merv & Meg Butterworth, Motu Meteor returned a mile rate of 2-02.3.

Plenty of pressure

■ An impressive winner at Tabcorp Park Melton was 4Y0 Muscles Yankee-Elusive Charm gelding Melpark Magic who broke his maiden status at start number eleven by taking the 2240 metre DNR Logistics Trotters Mobile for TR0 class.

Trained and driven by Musk Vale's Glenn Conroy who races the horse in partnership with daughter Lyndal, Melpark Magic raced in the open from gate three shadowing the favourite Maori Queen which began with a rush from gate five to lead.

Applying plenty of pressure approaching the final bend, Melpark Magic raced clear in the straight to record an easy 8.7 metre victory over Maori Queen in a mile rate of 2-06.1. Zoomalong Sally (one/one) was 11.6 metres away in third place.

Scored by a neck

■ Former Kiwi trainer Dylan Stratford who did time with Dean Braun at Lara a few years back, was successful with 5Y0 Great Success-Lucky Pat gelding Lucky Pats Son in the Yabby dam Racing Trotters Mobile for TR0 to TR2 class over 2240 metres at Melton.

Driven by Anthony Butt, Lucky Pats Son led throughout from the pole, scoring by a neck from Aldebaran Pirate which raced exposed before shifting down to the sprint lane in the home running. Angustine was third 13.7 metres away after following the winner. The mile rate 2-03.6.

Used sprint lane

■ At Cranbourne on Tuesday, long time Doreen trainer John Yeomans assisted by stable foreman Shane Gallagher, snared the Egmont Park Stud Pace for C0 & C1 class over 2080 metres with Idrather Rahma, a 4Y0 daughter of Real Desire and Starlitestarbright. Bred and raced by John and wife Christine, Idrather Rahma driven

by Chris Alford was given an easy time from the pole trailing the leader Cypress Song (gate five) before running on best along the sprint lane to snatch victory by 2.1 metres from the pacemaker in a mile rate of 2-01.8. Miami Phil (one/one) was third 2.9 metres away.

Cruised to front

■ Talented Blissful Hall-Janbob 3Y0 gelding Little Peanut coasted to victory in the C0 class Seelite Windows & Doors Pace over 2080 metres at Cranbourne for Myrniong husband and wife combination of Greg Sugars and Jess Tubbs.

Cosily positioned mid-field from outside the front line, Sugars sent Little Peanut forward racing for the bell to park outside the pilot Royal Bettor (gate two) for the final circuit.

Cruising to the front on the final bend, Little Peanut scored by 8.6 metres in advance of Bettor Than That which followed him home in the last lap after facing the open until the bell, with My Forgotten Hero (three back the markers) third. The mile rate 2-00.2.

Harness Racing

Melbourne

Observer

len-baker@ bigpond.com

with Len Baker

11-event card

■ A mammoth eleven event card was held at Echuca on Wednesday with favourite punters coming out on top after five outright and two second elects greeting the judge.

Extremely talented Safari-Machabella 4Y0 gelding Emain Macha who almost died last year, has made a wonderful return to racing and landed the Designer Tanks Pace for C2 & C3 class over 2160 metres. A raging hot $1.30 favourite, Trained by Greg Scholfield, Emain Macha which made the long journey from Naracoorte gave top reinsman Greg Sugars an armchair drive, leading throughout from outside the front line to record an untouched 7.8 metre victory over She Keeps Coming (three back the markers) and Franks Very Much which followed the winner. The mile rate 1-58.3.

Stepped cleanly

■ Kyabram's Mick Blackmore combined with John Caldow to snare the 2530 metre Dorrie Schmedje Trotters Handicap for T1 or better class at Echuca with lightly raced 4Y0 Muscle Mass-Whitney Grace gelding Rory McHinson.

Stepping cleanly from barrier four, Rory McHinson avoided somel gallopers shortly after the start to virtually lead all of the way, defeating 30 metre backmarker The Male Model by 2.6 metres in a rate of 2-07.6. Margaret Jean was third 9.5 metres away after racing in the open.

Four winners

■ Youthful reinsman Ryan Duffy is driving in fantastic fashion and chalked up four winners for the week - Mana Master ($1.50) and Thomas Burns ($3.60) at Echuca and Kamwood Caesar ($38.30) and Smiling Stunner $1.40) at Bendigo on Thursday. Ryan can still take a claim and is in strong demand.

Double Day

■ Thursday was the usual double day, with Stawell racing in the afternoon and Bendigo at night.

Persistency paid off when Central Victorian (Moyreisk) duo Barry Ainsworth (trainer) and Ashley Ainsworth (driver) captured the Ross McLoughlin Painter Trotters Handicap for T0 or better class over 2180 metres at Stawell with most consistent 8Y0 Majestic Son-Steffi Joy gelding Jaden Gil. Having start number 108, Jaden Gil starting from 20 metres began smartly to settle three back in the moving line as roughie All About Abbey led from the pole. Easing three wide racing for the bell, Jaden Gil was seen in an unfamiliar role of leading up the three wide train for the final circuit, with the favourite Sunoflidenny immediately latching to his back after following him all of the way. Dashing to the front approaching the final bend, Jaden Gil looked like being run down by Sunoflindenny who had the last crack at him, however showing great fighting qualities, Jaden Gil gained the day by a neck to record his first success since May last year and 9th overall. Allawart Dollar was 9.6 metres away in third place. The mile rate 2-

Only a nose away

■ Lancefield trainer/driver Rod Petroff's honest Art Major-Radical Storm colt Muscle Up Major scored a well deserved victory in the 2180 metre Brian Gunnell Memorial 3Y0 Pace at Stawell.

Quickly away from inside the second line to possie one/one, Muscle Up Major looked the winner a long way from home as Night Ninja led from outside the front row.

Easing three wide in the last lap, Muscle Up Major showed a dynamic burst of speed to dash away prior to the home turn and win by 7.8 metres in a rate of 2-01.4 from a game They Wantano which faced the open. Vapar Jack was a nose away third after using the sprint lane off the back of the weakening leader.

Pounced in straight

■ At Bendigo, local trainer Bruce Morgan shocked punters when 4Y0 Sportswriter-Cunning Kate mare Valbarann at Supertab odds of $23.50 landed the DNR Logistics Pace for C0 class over 1650 metres.

Raced by Bruce, wife Val and a host of loyal owners, Valbarann with John Caldow in the sulky led from gate three, before taking a trail on Blissful Penny who was to hand over to the racing favourite The Defiant. When Blissful Penny came away from the markers to run straight past The Defiant approaching the home turn, Valbarann followed her through and pounced in the straight to score by 2.3 metres over Its Powder Blue, with Blissful Penny a head back in third place.

The mile rate 1-53.6.

Led throughout

■ Kilmore duo Peter Lane and Anita Burke's smart 4Y0 Majestic Son-Rinehart gelding Kheiron returned to the winners list when successful in the Yabby dam racing Trotters Mobile for T2 to T4 class over 2150 metres at Bendigo.

Driven by Chris Alford, Kheiron having his fourth outing this time in, led throughout from the pole to record his first victory since June last year, accounting for Rock Tonight which raced outside him by 1.4 metres in a thrilling finish.

Claudys Prince (one/one - three wide home turn) was third a head away. The mile rate 2-00.2.

Rivals blitzed

■ Bray raceway Ballarat Ballarat was the venue for Friday racing and Kerryn Manning's Angus Hall-Insulated filly Aleppo Jewel blitzed her rivals in the 2200 metre DNR Logistics 3-Y-0 Trotters Mobile after giving her supporters plenty of concern.

Galloping wildly in the score up, Aleppo Midas was fortunate for a false start to be called and at the second attempt, she began safely to circle the field at park outside the leader Flyin Around.

Cruising to the front in the last lap, Aleppo Jewel raced right away to score by 30 metres in a rate of 2-01.3 from the pacemaker and Madena Sky who was a head away third.

Sulky Snippets This Week

■ Wednesday - Wednesday - Kilmore/ Geelong, Thursday - Maryborough/Melton, Saturday - Ararat (Cup), Sunday - Warragul (Cup)/Echuca, Monday - Wedderburn, Tuesday - Mildura.

Horses to follow

■ Blissful Penny, Sulem Joey, Bacardi Carter, Majestic Pride, They Wantano, Fratellino, Whatleys Wombat, Celebrindal, Shadows Delight, Brackenreid.

First victory

■ Terang trainer/driver Mattie Craven's 4Y0 Bacardi Lindy-Belstar mare Star In Sight recorded her first victory since June last year when leading throughout from gate two in the Cervus Hamilton Vicbred Platinum Series I for Trotters 4Y0 and older over 2200 metres at Ballarat much to the delight of Pyramid Hill area owner Teddy Carmody and partners. Turning with a handy margin, Star In Sight had 5.6 metres to spare on the wire from a death seating Armbro Hugh and Myrniong Rainbow which was a head away after trailing the winner. The mile rate 202.4.

Settled three back

■ Six year old Dawn Ofa New Day-Apple Of My Eye gelding Rule Of Thumb was a brilliant victor of the Cervus Ballarat Pace for C6 or better class over 1710 metres at Ballarat.

Trained at Anakie by Tim Bolitho for long time participant Philip Nott who hasn't been enjoying the best of health in recent times, Rule Of Thumb driven by Greg Sugars settled three back in the moving line from gate four as the speedy polemarker Ideal Lifestyle easily retained the front running. Going forward to park outside the racing with a circuit to travel, Sugars put the foot to the floor, giving the leader no peace in the last lap. Turning together, Rule Of Thumb was very strong at the finish, scoring by 3.8 metres in advance of Hoo Nien which followed the leader, gaining a split in the straight, with Village Safari running home nicely to be third a neck away. The mile rate being a sensational 153.4.

■ The Mildura Pacing Cup Carnival commences on Tuesday April 10 culminating in the $50,000 Park Douglas Printing Cup Final on SaturdayApril 14. For a great week of racing and fun, head for (sunny) Mildura if you are looking for a short break - you won't be disappointed.

Going economic with place names ■ Would you believe there are a near-dozen villages in Norway, Denmark and Sweden that have simply one letter in their name – just A for the greater majority of them, and O for one in Sweden.

And somewhat bizarrely, they’re not the only places in the world that have pretty economic names when it comes to spelling: there are some thirty-odd towns, villages, municipalities, rivers and mountains have simply a single letter in their name in everywhere from Scandinavia, England, Scotland, France and Poland, to the USA, Panama, Micronesia, Madagascar, Japan, Tibet, Vietnam and Russia.

WhileA accounts for around a third of them –A means “brook” or “small river” in Danish, Norwegian and Swedish – there are five simply named U, another four that identify them-

A road sign telling motorists they are leaving the village of Y

selves only as O, three communities named Y, a couple E and rivers named the D in Oregon in the USA and Y in the north of Russia.

And in France an historic chateau that’s now a popular tourist attraction near Mortree in the north of the country, is simply known as Chateau O, while in Argentina there’s an ecohippie community in Buenos Aires that identifies itself only as Commune A.

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 57

You can obtain your Melbourne Observer at hundreds of newsagencies across Victoria

Copies of the Melbourne Observer can be purchased through a network of hundreds of friendly newsagencies, and their subagencies, across Victoria. The Melbourne Observer is on sale each Wednesday for $2.95 per copy. For a modest extra fee, most newsagencies will cheerfully arrange home delivery to your letterbox.

To ensure that you don’t miss an issue of the Melbourne Observer Observer,, place a firm order with your newsagent. Ask to use their 'put-away' service. Any of the newsagencies listed can receive copies of the Melbourne Observer through their wholesaler, All Day Distribution, phone 9482 1145. mail@alldaydistribution.com.au PLEASE NOTE: Shelf copies of the Melbourne Observer sell quickly. Make sure you don't miss out, place a firm order. Not all the newsagencies listed have 'casual' copies automatically on sale. Ask your newsagent to 'put-away' your own copy of the Melbourne Observer. It's easy to arrange, simply hand this coupon to your newsagent to arrange your weekly copy.

AIRPORT WEST. The Lucky Charm. Shop 73, Westfield Shoppingtown.

ALBERT PARK. Dundas Place Newsagency. 18A Bridport St. ALBURY. Albury Newsagency. 518 Olive St. ALTONA. Altona Newsagency. 76 Pier St. ALTONA NORTH. Circle News & Lotto.

63 The Circle.

ALTONA WEST. Altona West Newsagency. 12 Harrington Sq. ANGLESEA. Anglesea News and Lotto. 89 Great Ocean Rd. APOLLO BAY. Hansons Newsagency. 135 Great Ocean Rd. ARMADALE. Highdale Newsagency. 969 High St. ASCOT VALE. Ascot Vale Newsagency. 1/ 208 Union Rd. ASHBURTON. Ashburton Newsagency.

209 High St. ASPENDALE. Aspendale Newsagency.

129 Station St. ASHWOOD. Ashwood Newsagency. 503 Warrigal Rd. BAIRNSDALE. Bairnsdale Newsagency.

21 Bailey St. BALACLAVA. Carlisle Newsagency. 143 Carlisle St. BALWYN. Balwyn Newsagency. 413 Whitehorse Rd. BALWYN. Belmore News and Lotto. 338 Belmore Rd. BALWYN. Burkemore Newsagency. 1060 Burke Rd. BALWYN. Yooralla Newsagency. 247A Belmore Rd BATMAN. Batman Newsagency. 93 Gaffney St BAXTER. Baxter Newsagency. 106 BaxterTooradin Rd BELL PARK. Bell Park Newsagency. 21-23 Milton St. BELMONT. Belmont Newsagency. 132 High St. BENTLEIGH. Bentleigh Newsagency. 359 Centre Rd. BENTLEIGH EAST. Centrefield Newsagency. 939 Centre Rd. BENTLEIGH EAST. Chesterville Newsagency. 299 Chesterville Rd BENTLEIGH EAST. East Bentleigh Newsagency. 761 Centre Rd. BERWICK. Berwick Newsagency. 29-31 High St. BLACK ROCK. Black Rock Newsagency.

606 Balcombe Rd. BLACKBURN. Blackburn Newsagency.

116 South Pde. BLACKBURN SOUTH. Blackburn South Newsagency. 118 Canterbury Rd BORONIA. Boronia Village Newsagency.

Shop 22A, 163 Boronia Rd. BOX HILL. Newsline Newsagency. Shop 70, Centro.

BOX HILL. Whitehorse News and Lotto.

Shop SP037 Centro.

BOX HILL NORTH. Kerrimuir Newsagency. 515 Middleborough Rd. BOX HILL SOUTH. Box Hill South Newsagency. 870 Canterbury Rd BRIAR HILL. Briar Hill Newsagency. 111 Mountain View Rd.

Hand this coupon to your local newsagent to reserve a weekly copy of the Melbourne Observer Dear Newsagent ❑ Please put-away a copy of the Melbourne Observer each week. I will collect it from your store. ❑ Please organise delivery each week to my home of the Melbourne Observer.

I understand that charges apply.

Name .....................................................................

Address .................................................................. ................................. Phone ...................................

Newsagencies can arrange supplies of the Melbourne Observer newspaper through All Day Distribution, phone 9482 1145. mail@alldaydistribution.com.au

BRIGHT. Bright Newsagency. 28 Ireland St. BRIGHTON. Middle Brighton Newsagency. 75-77 Church St. BRIGHTON NORTH. North Brighton Authorised Newsagency. 324 Bay St. BULLEEN. Thompsons Road Newsagency.

123A Thompsons Rd. BUNDOORA. Bundoora Centre Newsagency. Shop 3, 39 Plenty Rd. BURNLEY. Burnley Newsagency. 375 Burnley St. BURWOOD EAST. East Burwood Newsagency. 16 Burwood Hwy. CAMBERWELL. Burwood Newsagency.

1394 Toorak Rd. CAMBERWELL. Camberwell Centre Newsagency. 628 Burke Rd. CAMBERWELL. Camberwell Market Newsagency. 513 Riversdale Rd. CAMBERWELL. Through Road Newsagency. 18 Through Rd. CANTERBURY. Canterbury Newsagency.

104 Maling Rd. CARLTON. Lygon Authorised Newsagency. 260 Lygon St CARLTON NORTH. Rathdowne Newsagency. 410 Rathdowne St. CARRUM. Carrum Newsagency. 514 Station St. CASTLEMAINE. Castlemaine Newsagency. Shop 1, 45 Mostyn St. CAULFIELD EAST. Caulfield Newsagency. 14 Derby Rd. CAULFIELD NORTH. Junction Newsagency. 71 Hawthorn Rd. CHADSTONE. Supanews Chadstone. Shop 261, Chadstone Shopping Centre.

CHARLTON. Charlton Newsagency. 69 High St. CHELSEA. Chelsea Newsagency. 403 Nepean Hwy. CHELTENHAM. Cheltenham Newsagency. 332 Charman Rd. CLAYTON. Clayton Newsagency. 345 Clayton Rd. CLIFTON HILL. Clifton Hill Newsagency.

Queens Pde. COBURG. Coburg Newsagency. 481-483 Sydney Rd. COLAC. Blanes Newsagency. 164 Murray St. COWES. Cowes Newsagency. 44-46 Thompson Ave. CRAIGIEBURN. The Lucky Charm.

Craigieburn Central. 340 Craigieburn Rd CRANBOURNE. Cranbourne Newsagency. 105 High St. CROYDON. Burnt Bridge Newsagency. 434 Maroondah Hwy. CROYDON. Croydon Newsagency. 166 Main St. CROYDON NORTH. Croydon North Newsagency. 5 Exeter Rd. CROYDON SOUTH. Eastfield Newsagency. 7 The Mall.

DANDENONG. Lonsdale Newsagency.

216 Sunnyside Ave. DAYLESFORD. Daylesford Newsagency.

45 Vincent St. DELACOMBE. Ballarat Authorised Newsagency. 1 Laidlaw Drive.

DENILIQUIN. Deniliquin Newsagency and Bookstore. 14 Napier St. DIAMOND CREEK. Diamond Creek Newsagency. 62A Hurstbridge Rd. DINGLEY. Dingley Newsagency. Shop 2, Dingley Village.

DOVETON. Doveton News & Lotto. 37 Autumn Place.

DROMANA. Dromana Newsagency. 177 Point Nepean Hwy. DROUIN. MVH News. 93 Princes Way. DRYSDALE. Drysdale Newsagency. 14 High St. EAGLEMONT. Eaglemont Lucky Lotto News and Post. 60 Silverdale Rd. EDITHVALE. Edithvale Newsagency. 253 Nepean Hwy. ELSTERNWICK. Elsternwick News & Lotto. 444 Glenhuntly Rd. ELTHAM. Eltham Newsagency and Toyworld. Shop 2, 963 Main Rd. EMERALD. Emerald Newsagency. Main St. ESSENDON. Essendon Newsagency. 15a Rose St. ESSENDON . Roundabout Newsagency. 85 Fletcher St. ESSENDON NORTH. North Essendon Newsagency. 1085 Mt Alexander Rd. FAIRFIELD. Fairfield Newsagency. 99 Station St. FAWKNER. Fawkner Newsagency. 54 Bonwick St. FAWKNER NORTH. Moomba Park Newsagency. 89 Anderson Rd. FITZROY. Fitzroy Newsaagency. Cnr Brunswick and Johnston Sts. FOREST HILL. Brentford Square Newsagency. 29-31 Brentford Square.

FOREST HILL. Forest Hill Newsagency.

Shop 215, Forest Hill Chase.

GARDENVALE. Gardenvale Newsagency.

168 Martin St. GEELONG.. Geelong Newsagency and Lotto. 140 Moorabool St. GEELONG WEST. Murphy's Newsagency.

198 Pakington St.

GISBORNE. Gisborne Newsagency. Shop 20, Village Shopping Centre.

GLENFERRIE. Glenferrie Newsagency.

660 Glenferrie Rd GLEN WAVERLEY. Kingsway Newsagency. Shop 4, 39 Kingsway.

GLEN WAVERLEY. Syndal Newsagency.

238 Blackburn Rd. GLEN WAVERLEY. The Glen Newsagency. Shop 2, 065 The Glen Shopping Centre.

GLENROY. Glenroy Newsagency. 773 Pascoe Vale Rd. GRANTVILLE. Grantville Newsagency.

1509 Bass Hwy. GREENSBOROUGH. Plaza News. Shop 4/5, Greensborough Plaza.

GREYTHORN. Greythorn Newsagency.

272 Doncaster Rd. HADFIELD. Hadfield Newsagency. 120 West St HAMPTON. Hampton Newsagency. 345347 Hampton St. HAMPTON EAST. Hampton East Newsagency. 412 Bluff Rd. HAMPTON PARK. Hampton Park Newsagency. Shop 3, Shopping Centre HAWTHORN. Glenferrie South Newsagency. 546 Glenferried Rd HAWTHORN. Hawthorn News & Lotto. 89 Burwood Rd. HAWTHORN EAST. Auburn Newsagency.

119 Auburn Rd. HAWTHORN EAST. Auburn South Newsagency. 289 Auburn Rd. HEIDELBERG. Heidelberg Heights Newsagency. 35 Southern Rd. HEIDELBERG. Heidelberg Newsagency.

124 Burgundy St. HEIDELBERG WEST. The Mall Newsagency. Shop 18 The Mall.

HOLMESGLEN. Holmesglen Newsagency. 637 Warrigal Rd. HUNTINGDALE. Huntingdale Newsagency. 290 Huntingdale Rd. INDENTED HEADS. Intended Heads Newsagency. 13 The Esplanade.

KEILOR. Keilor Newsagency. 700 Old Calder Hwy. KEW. Cotham Newsagency. 97 Cotham Rd. KEW. Kew Newsagency. 175 High St. KEW NORTH. North Kew Newsagency. 93 Willsmere St. KINGSVILLE. Kingsville Newsagency.

339 Somerville Rd. KNOX CITY. Knox City Newsagency, Wantirna South.

KNOXFIELD. Knoxfield Newsagency.

1597 Ferntree Gully Rd. KOOYONG. Kooyong Newsagency. 483 Glenferrie Rd. KYABRAM. Kyabram Newsagency. 117 Allan St. KYNETON. Collins Newsagency. 95 Mollison St. LANGWARRIN SOUTH. Langwarrin South Newsagency. 1/143-149 Warrandyte Rd LARA. Lara Newsagency. 44 The Centreway.

LILYDALE. Lilydale Newsagency. 237 Main St. LOWER PLENTY. Lower Plenty Newsagency. 95 Main Rd. MALVERN. Lucky Malvern Lotto. 167 Glenferrie Rd. MALVERN. Malvern Newsagency. 114 Glenferrie Rd. MALVERN. Malvern Village Newsagency.

1352 Malvern Rd. MALVERN EAST. Central Park Newsagency. 393 Wattletree Rd. MALVERN EAST NEWSAGENCY. Waverley Road Newsagency. 336 Waverley Rd. McKINNON. McKinnon Newsagency. 163 McKinnon Rd MELBOURNE. Domain Newsagency.

Shop 6, 401 St Kilda Rd. MELBOURNE. Flinders Street Newsagency. 65 Flinders St. MELTON. Newsxpress Melton.

MENTONE. Mentone Newsagency. 24 Como Pde. MERLYNSTON. Merlynston Newsagency.

17 Merlyn St. MIDDLE PARK. Middle Park Newsagency. 16 Armstrong St. MILDURA. Klemm's Mildura Newsagency.

53 Langtree Mall.

MILDURA. Mildura Newsagency and Lotto. 71 Langtree Ave. MILL PARK. Mill Park Newsagency. 4 Stables Shopping Centre.

MITCHAM. Mitcham Newsagency. 503 Whitehorse Rd. MITCHAM NORTH. Mitcham North Newsagency. 228 Mitcham Rd MOOROOPNA. Mooroopna Newsagency.

84 McLennan St. MORDIALLOC. Warren Village Newsagency. 87 Warren Rd. MORNINGTON. Mornington Newsagency. 97 Main St. MORWELL. Morwell Newsagency. 176 Commercial Rd. MOUNT ELIZA. Mount Eliza Newsagency.

102 Mount Eliza Way.

MOUNT GAMBIER. Posters Newsagency.

79 Commercial St East.

MOUNT MARTHA. Mount Martha Newsagency. 2 Lochiel Ave. MOUNT WAVERLEY. Pinewood Newsagency. Shop 59, Centreway Shopping Centre.

MOUNTAIN GATE. Mountain Gate Newsagency. Shop 9B, Mountain Gate Shopping Centre.

MULGRAVE. Northvale Newsagency. 901 Springvale Rd. MULGRAVE. Waverley Gardens Newsagency. Shop 44, Waverley Gardens.

MURRUMBEENA. Murrumbeena Newsagency. 456 Neerim Rd. NARRE WARREN. Narre Warren Newsagency. Shop 1, Narre Warren.

NEWBOROUGH. Newborough Newsagency. 30 Rutherglen St. NEWMARKET. Newmarket Newsagency.

292 Racecourse Rd NOBLE PARK. Noble Park Newsagency.

422 Douglas St. NORTHCOTE. Newsplaza Newsagency, Northcote Plaza.

NORTHCOTE. Northcote Newsagency.

335 High St. NORTH MELBOURNE. Ledermans Newsagency. 234-244 Macauley Rd. NUNAWADING. Mountainview Newsagency. 293A Springfield Rd. PARKDALE. Parkdale Newsagency. 238 Como Pde. West.

PASCOE VALE SOUTH. Coonans Hill Newsagency. 67 Coonans Rd. PASCOE VALE SOUTH. Paper N Post.

372-380 Bell St. PRESTON. Preston N’agency. 377 High St. PRESTON. Preston Town Hall Newsagency. 247-249 Murray Rd. PRINCES HILL. Princes Hill Newsagency.

607 Lygon St RESERVOIR. Broadway Newsagency.

279 Broadway.

RICHMOND. Swan St Newsagency. 108 Swan St. RICHMOND. Vernons Newsagency. 308A Bridge Rd. RINGWOOD EAST. Ringwood East Newsagency. 52 Railway Ave. RINGWOOD NORTH. North Ringwood Newsagency. 182 Warrandyte Rd. ROBINVALE. Robinvale Newsagency. 67 Perrin St. ROSANNA. Rosanna Newsagency. 135 Lower Plenty Rd. ROSEBUD. Rosebud Newsagency. 1083 Point Nepean Rd. RYE. Rye Newsagency. 2371 Pt Nepean Rd. SALE. Sale Newsagency. 310 Raymond St. SANDRINGHAM. Sandringham Newsagency. Shop 5, 18-34 Station St. SCORESBY. Scoresby Newsagency. 14 Darryl St. SEAFORD. Seaford Newsagency. 124 Nepean Hwy. SEBASTOPOL. Sebastopol Newsagency.

Shop 3, 'Safeway Complex'.

SHEPPARTON. Goulburn Valley Newsagency. 314 Wyndham St. SHEPPARTON. Lovell Newsagency. 246 Wyndham St. SOMERVILLE. Somerville Newsagency.

Shop 24, Plaza, Eramosa Rd. SOUTH MELBOURNE. Clarendon Newsagency. 9 Thistlewaite St. SPRINGVALE. Springvale Newsagency.

321 Springvale Rd. STRATHFIELDSAYE. Strathfieldsaye News and Lotto. Shop 5, 939 Wellington St. TARWIN LOWER. Tarwin Lower Newsagency. 45 River Drive.

TATURA. Tatura N’agency. 138 Hogan St. TEMPLESTOWE. Macedon News and Lotto.

THORNBURY. Normanby News and Lotto. 25 Macedon Rd TOORADIN. Tooradin Newsagency. 92 South Gippsland Hwy. TOORAK. Toorak Village Newsagency.

479 Toorak Rd. TORQUAY. Torquay Newsagency. 20 Gilbert St. TRARALGON. Seymour Street Newsagency. 83 Seymour St. TRARALGON. Traralgon News and Lotto.

51-53 Franklin St. TULLAMARINE. Tullamarine Newsagency. 2/191 Melrose Dr. VERMONT. Vermont Authorised Newsagency. 600 Canterbury Rd. VERMONT SOUTH. Vermont South Newsagency. Shop 14, 495 Burwood Hwy. WANTIRNA SOUTH. Wantirna South Newsagency. 223 Stud Rd. WARRAGUL. Warragul Newsagency. 43 Victoria St. WARRNAMBOOL. Reinheimers Newsagency. 145 Koroit St. WATSONIA. Watsonia Newsagency.

Watsonia Rd. WHEELERS HILL. Wheelers Hill Newsagency.

WODONGA. Mahon's Newsagency. 168 High St. YARRAVILLE. Yarraville Newsagency. 59 Anderson St.

Page 58 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Observer Victorian Sport Melbourne

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Wine Column Gruff but friendly

Ace High ‘top card’ ■ Top staying three year-old Ace High, a winner of the Victoria Derby, appears to have the wood on them after entries were taken for the ATC Australian Derby at Randwick onApril 7.

Since returning he has run big races over unfavourable distances since his Derby win.

Ace High returned on February 3, in the Expressway Stakes over the sprint distance of 1200 metres and after naturally being well back behind the speedsters flashed home to run a good fifth.

He followed that up with a creditable fifth in the Hobartville Stakes behind the classy horse, Kementari, over 1400 metres.

Prepared by leading trainer David Payne at Rosehill, he without a doubt, would be one of the best staying three-year olds in the land.

In my opinion he would make an ideal Caulfield Cup horse.

Ace High is beautifully bred by top sire, High Chaparral, from a Redoute's Mare, and from his 15 starts so far, he has won four and a second, with winnings of getting toward $2 million.

Without a doubt he is the one to beat come the 2500 trip at the spacious Randwick track.

Another smart staying three-year old in the powerful Chris Waller camp is D'Argento, who has had five starts for three wins and a third, the latter a good third to Kementari, in the Hobartville over 1400 metres.

Waller has a big opinion of him and currently is the second favourite in early markets in the ATCAustralian Derby.

An interesting nomination is the Murray Baker-trained New Zealander, Vin De Dance, a winner of the New Zealand Derby over 2400 metres recently.

At his last start when third to Kementari, he was caught out wide after drawing the car park in barrier 14, and it was a big run.

The John Sargent-trained, Luvalova, is a horse with plenty of ability, having won two of her eight starts.

Back in November she ran a good fourth in the Victoria Oaks behind Pinot over this trip of 2500 metres, so there is no worry about her staying the trip, like some of the others who may contest the Derby.

When she ran in the Hobartville, she was competing against some of the best colts around.

The Darren Weir trained Cliff's Edge is an interesting entry.

He would be having his first try over the trip of 2500 metres, having won the Moonee Valley Vase over 2040 metres.

He is generally a front running horse, and to ask him take up the running is a big ask, but if they can get him to settle he would still be a chance to get the further distance.

Of the others, the James Cummings trained Astoria, who is improving with each run, was a good third in the Autumn Stakes at Caulfield over 1400 metres.

He ran a good third to Ace High in the Victoria Derby, so there is not a concern about the trip, and he has got to be among the chances.

I am very keen ion Ace High as I mentioned earlier I feel he is an ideal Caulfield Cup type.

Get On.

● Ace High takes out the Victoria Derby. Racing Photos cream of City gallopers to try for the rich plums on offer.

If you want to go all out, the Club has trackside umbrella packages for $ 150, Silks dining packages for $75 a head, and mini marquees for $250.

On top of all that the Club is offering Terrace Deck packages from $500.

General admission is only $20 a person, whilst children under 16, accompanied by an adult will be admitted free.

Ted Ryan

Yearling Sale

■ The popular Inglis Vobis Gold Yearling Sale will be held at their magnificent complex at Tullamarine, near the airport on Sunday April 22.

Always a great day and a big chance to pick up a prized colt or filly, at a good price.

In all, 247 lots will go under the hammer for the popular Vobis Gold sale, allowing the purchaser to pick up bonuses for his colt or filly during their racing careers.

The big sale will get underway at 10am with plenty of parking available and dining rooms and bars available for your comfort.

Some of the best yearlings in Victoria by the leading sires and out of some outstanding brood mares will be auctioned.

Golden Mile

■ The Bendigo Jockey Club is gearing for its big Golden Mile Day coming up on April 7.

The meeting is the main race meeting in Victoria, referred to as a stand alone meeting.

This means there is no metropolitan meeting on that day.

The Club has scheduled an excellent program of racing, plus plenty of entertainment for everybody.

Activities on the day include a HITFM Food and Wine Village, live music, and roaming entertainment.

The Club has also organised the popular Chris Humphry's Wild Action Zoo, where young and old can get up close and personal with animals and reptiles.

There will be plenty of snack areas, set in a real family atmosphere.

The racing is always keen and attracts the

● Cliff's Edge wins the Alister Clark Stakes. Racing Photos

● Tim Adams with some helpers ■ John Rozentals marvels at a couple of wines dedicated to great Clare Valley grapegrowers.

Despite the decidedly gruff - if very friendly and delivered with a somewhat boyish grin - handshake, Clare Valley winemaker Tim Adams is, at the core of it, a rather softhearted sentimentalist.

You only have to look at his latest releases for evidence - two wines unashamedly dedicated to local vineyards he has long regarded as special, and hence to the people who have created them.

One wine is the Tim Adams 2017 Skilly Ridge Riesling, made from a parcel of fruit harvested from a vineyard previously owned by the Ingham family.

It was planted in 1994 by Clark Ingham, who had followed his dream and moved from the city to create a special vineyard in a special place.

When Tim and his wife Pam Goldsack bought the Ingham’s Skilly Ridge property in 2014 they liked it so much that they decided to eventually call it home.

"It's a vineyard very close to our hearts," said Tim. The other wine is the Tim Adams 2013 Schaefer Shiraz, made from a vineyard planted in 1998 by the late Roy Schaefer in 1998, after finishing years of broadacre farming on the Eyre Pensinula and moving with his family to Clare.

"Roy was passionate about growing things and meticulously managed the vineyard to the point that he almost had a name for each vine," said Tim Tim has been purchasing fruit from the Schaefer vineyard since 2011 and in 2015 he and Pam purchased the property.

The release of this shiraz is especially meaningful to Natalie Schaefer, one of Tim's current office staff. She just happens to be the late Roy Schaefer's daughter.

But that's hardly surprising in the Clare Valley. It's a tight-knit community and that's just the way things work there.

WINE REVIEWS Casillero del Diablo Reserva Chardonnay ($14): The South American country of Chile has been producing exciting wines for quite a few years, and this medium-bodied dry white certainly offers exceptional value.

Its flavours reside firmly in the stonefruit sesector, though there are hints of nuttiness, too, from maturation in French oak. It's good for most seafood, but particularly, the Australian distributor suggests, with salmon fishcakes.

Margan 2016 Shiraz ($25):Andrew Morgan is probably just a few years beyond being described at a Hunter Valley 'young gun any more', but he is still producing some great wines there.

I particular like the tannin structure of this dry red that he's made from a 50-year-old vineyard near Fordwich. It has excellent medium-bodied flavours and would make a great match for red-sauced pasta either at home or in a local bistro.

WINE OF THE WEEK Tim Adams 2017 Skilly Ridge Riesling ($29): This is probably a bit fuller and softer than many of Tim's premium Clare Rieslings but I can still certainly detect that confident, citrusy spine-tingling sliver of acidity in the wine's backbone. Like most of his young rieslings this will certainly accompany fresh oysters or simply grilled whiting or bream, but I'd suggest it also has the weight to equally match a slightly heavier dish such as flathead with a beurre blanc sauce.

- John Rozentals

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Obser ver - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 59 e urn lbo Me

Every Week in the Melbourne Observer

ver N ser O Ob TI C SE 3

Observer Showbiz

Theatre: Anna O’Byrne to tour ................................. Page 61 Arts: Comedy Festival summary .................................... Page 60 Country Music: Gospel songs of Elvis .......................... Page 60 Jim and Aar on: Best DVDs and movies to view .............. P age 62 Aaron: Cheryl Threadgold: Local theatre shows, auditions .......... Page 63 PL US THE LLO OVATT”S MEGA CRO PLUS CROSSSWORD

JEREMY IS IN RAPTURE Landing, Squash ■ I jumped into the pool complete with my ‘island’ headgear ready to help make a world record.

The Festival of Live Arts by Arts House is unique as were the two shows at the City Baths.

Both productions Landing and Squash were continuous pieces where the audience could come and go as they pleased or register to participate.

Landing was designed to make the audience aware of the situation on Manus Island .

Various speakers and artists performed/spoke on the night whilst those in the water were swimming laps in twenty minute intervals, aiming to swim the distance from Manus Island to the Australian mainland by midnight. I participated.

It was not easy swimming with a paper mache island hat attached to a bike helmet none which quite fit so making the ‘journey’ difficult- probably an effect the creators were hoping to achieve. An interesting piece of art particularly for its point of difference.

Squash was fun, energetic, entertaining. As a spectator only I sat in cramped conditions as a four hour game of squash was taking place.

Wilson - played by piece devisor, actor and athlete Meg Wilson - was in a four hour game of squash with competitors of varying skill level and athletic ability.

It was great to wonder what will happen next as Wilson used various techniques to play and ‘put off’her opponents.

This piece was designed to highlight the way women’s sport is portrayed in the media and by commentators where the commentary is often more about the fashion of the athlete than her ability, and that perhaps women do not take their sport as seriously as men or are worthy of watching as much as men.

This piece had a cheer squad and two commentators.

Ashton Malcolm and Josephine Were were focused and funny, ad libbing as the play on court varied.

If not so cramped it would be easy to be entertained by the game itself (complete with glitter) and the commentary on the sidelines for many hours.

- Review by Elizabeth Semmel

Teens Art Party ■■ TIna teen-only celebration of art and culture, Karen From Finance, one of Melbourne's most illustrious frag performers, is heading for the bi-annual NGV Teen's Art Party, performing a range of lip-sync performances.

Art Party is a highlight event on the social calendar for young people, and is open to all teenagers from 13 to 17.

Offering exclusive after-hours access to the NGV Triennial, now in its final weeks, this action packed event will also feature a non-stop dance set from Melbourne's DJ Slymewave (one half of Big Scary), and a s spoken word performance presented by Afro Hub, as well as speeddating style workshop by Hana Assafiri.

Inspired by the NGVTriennial and in particular its exploration of identity and the body, art Party provides a platform for teenagers to experience the world's leading contemporary art design from more than 100 artists ad designers from across 32 countries.

Season: Saturday April 7. 6pm - 9pm National Gallery of Victoria St. Kilda Rd., Melbourne

Nova 100 celebrates ■ Nova 100 and the Melbourne International Comedy Festival will celebrate a 13-year partnership from today (Mar. 28) to April 22.

Nova 100’s Chrissie, Sam and Browny held a live outside broadcast this morning (Wed.) from 6am at the Melbourne Town Hall (Lower Town Hall), thanks to TAC. - Greg Newman

Play On: Act of Sport

● Jeremy Stanford ■ Jeremy Stanford is well known for his performances in television, film, and stage shows such as portraying Buddy in The Buddy Holly Story, and recreating Hugh Weaving’s role of Tick in Priscilla Queen of the Desert: The Musical.

Versatile Jeremy currently works as a writer, director and actor, and in 2013 directed and co-wrote his first feature film, The Sunset Six. The latest exciting news for Jeremy is the release of his first novel, Rapture, by Tale Publishing.

Rapture tells of first time parents Tim and Nicole giving birth to a baby with a halo, and their confusion about what to do next.

They are atheists, but the church, lunatic fringe, and even their own family wants a piece of the new messiah, yet the couple wants to bring God to the world without any fuss.

This dark, comic novel explores the fight for the ownership of God, and how the world would react if there really was a second coming.

Jeremy said his theatrical performing has inspired his writing, particularly his first book, Year of the Queen, describing his journey through the creation of Priscilla Queen of the Desert: The Musical.

He writes characters from an actor’s perspective, just as if playing a role. “I try to get inside the characters’ heads and see out of their eyes.”

The first compelling chapter of Rapture contains a vivid, entertaining description of the home birth process. Jeremy says his main inspiration for this chapter was attending his sons’ births.

“You can’t unsee that stuff.”

Jeremy says he did not want the book to take itself too seriously, because in many ways, religion does just that.

The concept may be farfetched, but having made it comic ‘blunts’ the possibility of readers balking at the subject matter.

“On the whole, I wanted the book to offer up a fairly realistic vision of what might happen if there really was a second coming.”

Rapture also embodies the message of peace on earth— something Jeremy is passionate about Jeremy says one of the reasons he wrote the book was because of becoming tired of religions unable to get on with each other, and believing faith should be about love and compassion.

“To a certain extent, the Church has lost its way in modern society. We saw that with the recent vote on gay marriage, the royal commission into Institutional sexual abuse, we see it every day on the news where lunatics strap bombs to themselves and blow people up because their God supposedly told them to.”

According to Jeremy, the child in the book is definitely God. “He performs miracles, he has a halo, he is God. “Ultimately, he is the evidence that as a species we all need to come together and let go of the hatred.

“I believe, in my own eccentric way, that there is a God. I fully support people who worship God. But nobody has the monopoly on ‘truth’.”

Jeremy hopes to follow through with his story idea for a TV series.

- Cheryl Threadgold

■ Play On: The Art of Sport is a selection of key works from the Basil Sellers Art Prize, a former biennial exhibition of new commissions that reflect upon sport and sporting culture.

One of Australia's richest and most prestigious art awards, the Basil Sellers Art Prize inspired innovative and complex explorations of sport from a rollcall of Australia's most accomplished artists.

Exhibition closes April 29. ★ Lola Greeno: Cultural Jewels is the eighth iteration of Australian Design Centre's Living Treasures; Masters of Australian Craft series - biennial recognition and national tour if an iconic artist whose body of work epitomises the best of Australian craft fields.

Exhibition closes April 15. ★ Jon Campbell Melbourne-based artist Jon Campbell references Australian colloquialisms and uses graphic design and typography to turn everyday language and slang into text-based paintings.

Exhibition closes April 29.

Mornington Peninsula Regional Gallery Civic Reserve, Dunns Rd., Mornington - Peter Kemp

Town Hall Gallery Elevating the Everyday It has long been the artists role to highlight the value of the overlooked and underappreciated aspects of the world around us. Elevating the Everyday celebrates the artists who commemorate the smaller moments and humble objects that make up our existence.

The selected artists focus on making the ordinary extraordinary, often through the use of found objects and repurposed materials.

Colour by numbers: Art therapy meets neuroscience Victoria Schnaedelbach presents a body of work produced whilst participating in a neurological rehabilitation program.

This program is extremely disciplined and repetitive in order the maintain an emotionally neutral environment. Using an old children's colouring activity she learnt to retrain her brain and build up neurological muscle.

Trained in both arts, therapy and medicine, Schnaedelbach is uniquely placed to share her knowledge and first hand experiencer with others.

Exhibition: April 10 - May 6.

Giorgio Morandi's Dust - Exclusive Screening.

Join the Town Hall Gallery for the Australian premiere of Giorgio Morandi's Dust a remarkable documentary about the life and work of renowned Italian artist Giorgio Morandi.

The Town Hall Gallery will be open after hours for this very special event. Drinks and snacks will be available at the Arts Bar. Free, but bookings are essential Wednesday April 11 at 6.30pm - 7.30pm Venue: Town Hall Gallery Town Hall Gallery 360 Burwood Rd, Hawthorn - Peter Kemp

Heide Museum Eurovisions: Contemporary Art from the Goldberg Collection: Sampling some of the best artists and works to have come out of Europe in recent times, Selected from the Sydney-based collection of Lisa and Danny Goldberg , Eurovision includes works by several of the most widely recognised figures in contemporary art - Urs Fischer, Katherine Grosse, Ugo Rondmone, Wolfgang Tillmans, Haimo Zebernig, Sarah Lucas and Rachel Whiteread.

Exhibition: March 20 - August 19.

Page 60 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Observer Showbiz

Country Music, Radio, Theatre, Almanac Country Crossroads

By Rob Foenander info@countrycrossroads.com.au

Elvis’s gospel

■ Narre Warren artist Eddie James will perform the Gospel songs of Elvis on April 28.

Along with the Singing Inspirations, Eddie will take the audience down memory lane one more time with songs from the King’s spiritual repertoire list.

Location: Lighthouse Christian Churc,h Keysborough commencing 6.30pm. Tickets 8796 7333.Good Friday Appeal.

Suzette: Folk Club

■ Melbourne's contemporary troubadour Suzette Herft will be a guest artist at the Peninsula Folk Club on Sunday, April 8.

Suzette has won wide acclaim for her shows of both her own original songs and covers.

Add to this, she has appeared at numerous festivals around Australia and overseas.

More info at www.suzetteherft.com

Power Ranch

■ The Power Ranch in Trafalgarwill play host to the Country Music Channel's artist of the year Christie Lamb on Saturday, April 21 Gates open 4pm, 525 Mountain Glen Drive, Trafalgar East.

A fun start to the night will include racing lawnmowers and a Dash for Cash competition.

The evening will also feature singersongwriter Mel Pollard and Gordo. Ticket enquiries: 0427 347 309 - Rob Foenander

Comedy Festival ■ The Melbourne International Comedy Festival is full of wonderfully diverse shows, and here are just a few: ■ Urzila Carlson (NZ/South Africa) - http:// urzilacarlson.com ■ Becky Lucas - www.beckylucas.com.au ■ Nazeem Hussain http:// nazeemhussain.com ■ Matt Okine - http://www.mattokine.com ■ Nick Cody - http://www.nickcody.com.au ■ Aunty Donna - http://www.auntydonna.com ■ Des Bishop (US/Ireland) - http:// www.desbishop.net ■ Daniel Sloss (Scotland) - https:// danielsloss.com ■ Rhys Nicholson https:// www.rhysnicholson.com ■ Tessa Waters - http://www.tessawaters.com ■ Fringe Wives Club (incl Tessa Waters above) - https://www.facebook.com/fringewivesclub/ ■ DeAnne Smith (Canada/US) - http:// www.deannesmith.com ■ The Travelling Sisters - http:// thetravellingsisters.com ■ Rose Matafeo (NZ) - https:// www.facebook.com/rosematafeo ■ Angella Dravid (NZ) - https:// www.facebook.com/imscaredofparking/ ■ Guy Montgomery (NZ) - http:// guymontcomedy.com ■ Double Denim (Michelle Brasier and Laura Frew) - https://www.facebook.com/ doubledenimcomedy/ ■ Lucy Peach - https://lucypeachmusic.com - Cheryl Threadgold

Glen Eira Gallery Finding Wild - Dianna Wells Finding Wild is an exhibition of hand printed photographs and lumen prints, engaging landscapes, botany and 19th century photography to explore the notion of 'the new wild', where introduced plant species grow wild in bushland environments primarily within and surrounding Melbourne.

These environments include Brighton's Dendy Beach Dune and Kilcunda on the Bass Coast.

The lumen prints reference the cyanotype plant specimens of 19th century British artist Anna Atkins as a means to record the collection of introduced species within the photographic medium.

Exhibition: March 29 - April 22.

The 2018 Cartoon Exhibition Presented by the Australian Cartoonists'Association, this exhibition contains prints of many historical cartoons and work by the best cartoons working in Australia.

Works by Mark Knight, Alan Moir and George Haddon are included.

r Obser vbeiz On This Day Show

Wednesday Thursday March 29 March 28 ■ Michael Parkinson, English TV talk-show host, is 84. He was born in Yorkshire.

Reba McEntire, American country singer, is 65. She was born in Oklahoma.

Ian ‘Dicko’ Dickson (Perrygrove) was born in Birmingham in 1963 (56). ‘Dicko’ has returned to television.

■ Eric Idle, one of the Monty Python team, was born in County Durham, England in 1943 (76).

Model and actress Elle MacPherson (Eleanor Gow) was born in Sydney in 1964 (55).

New Zealand actress Lucy Lawless (Xena) is 49.

Top Arts

Melbourne Arts Australia has a strong and vibrant history if cartooning. The ACA was established in 1924 and is the world's oldest organisation for newspaper artists. Many of Australia's best cartoonists are members and for more than 30 years, the ACA has conducted the Stanley Awards the biggest award for cartooning in Australia.

Exhibition: March 29 - April 22.

Glen Eira City Council Gallery Cnr Glen Eira and Hawthorn Rds, Caulfield - Peter Kemp

Burrinja Gallery 2018 Dandenong Ranges Open Studio Featuring 30 participating artists and collectives, the 15th Dandenong Ranges Open Studios offers visitors a n unique exhibition and open studio weekend.

Explore and connect with artists, ignite your creative imagination and step into the hidden gems, curious constructions and awe inspiring spaces of the artists' creative environments.

Ascend into the hills to meet the creative folk that make this region so creatively vibrant.

Visit the studios that most intrigue you.

You will have the unique opportunity to purchase artwork and hand crafted items directly from the artists, informed by new insight into their creative world.

Open Studios weekend Saturday and Sunday May 5 and 6. 10am - 5pm.

Group Exhibition: March 30 - May 6.

Burrinja Gallery 551 Glenfern Rd, Upwey - Peter Kemp

Heide Museum DianeArbus: American Portraits The photographs of Diane Arbus (1823 - 71) are amongst the most widely recognised in the history of photography.

Her images stand as powerful allegories of post-warAmerica,and once seen are rarely forgotten.

Works such as Identical Twins, Roselle Nj., 1967 AND Child with toy hand grenade, in Central Park, New York City have been described as two of the most celebrated images in the history of the medium. |Exhibition is a National Gallery of Australia exhibition and the Heide exhibition closes June 17. Heide Museum of Modern Art, 7 Templestowe Rd, Bulleen

At the Ian Potter Centre: NGV at Federation Square. Swanston St, Melbourne Identity and environmental issues are just some of the themes in this year's Top Arts exhibition, an annual favourite on the on the NGV exhibition calendar.

Opened on March 23, Top Arts 2018 showcases the work of 54 of Victoria's best and brightest VCE Art and VCE Studio Art students.

Drawing from over 2,200 submissions, this year's finalists present an engaging display of materials and techniques, including sculpture and crochet, papier-mâché and recycled fashion garments.

Personality and integrity are strong narratives in the works of this year's finalists.

With Ellen Lui's work Pride drawing inspiration from the 'Vote Yes' campaign. Featuring the portrait of a classmate and friend of Lui's captured during the process of transiting from female to male, the work uses scratchboard to convey the physical and emotional charges her subject was experiencing.

Exploring themes of social justice and belonging, Madeline King of Kingswood College, Box Hill has captured the timely and inspiring story of Syrian refugees Nujeen Mustafa in her work Nujeen Mustafa.

Influenced by the iconic stencil forms of street artist Banksy, King combined mortar, plaster and bricks to depict her subject as emerging from the broken rubble of Aleppo, Syria.

The work conveys Mustafa's strength through her ordeal and brings attention to the human consequences of the Syrian conflict.

Environmental degradation was a focus for Lily Callahan's intricately detailed textile works What Was and What Is. In an effort to reduce her own environmental footprint and bring attention the impact of humans on the environment. Callahan worked exclusively with found materials.

Fusing both her passion for environmental sustainability ad her family's practice of embroidery, Callahan has created two juxtaposing works that provide a 'before and after' perspective on the deterioration of marine life.

Another highlight of the exhibition is an 8531-person football stadium sculpture created by Melbourne Grammar School student Hugo Gray.

The work entitled Self-portrait is a [ersonal representation of Gray's physical, emotional and atmospheric experiences at sporting arenas and was inspired by his visits to some of the world's most technical and innovative stadiums.

The exhibition will be open until July 15.

Times are 10am - 5pm Free Entry.

Melbourne

Observer

Friday March 30

Saturday March 31

■ American singer Frankie Laine was born in 1913. He died aged 93 in 2007.

Entertainer Rolf Harris was born in 1930 (88).

John Astin, who played Gomez in the Addams Family.

Actor Warren Beatty is 81. He was born in Richmond, Virginia.

■ American actress Shirley Jones was born in 1934 (84). She starred in The Partridge Family.

US musician Herb Alpert was born in Los Angeles in 1935 (83).

American actor Richard Chamerlain.

Scottish actor Ewan McGregor is 47.

Actor Colin Farrell was born in 1976 (42).

Sunday April 1 ■ April Fools Day. US actress and singer Debbie Reynolds was born on this day.

US actress Ali McGraw was born as Elizabeth Alice McGraw in 1938.

US actress and singer Jane Powell was born in 1929.

Singer Susan Boyle is 57 (1961).

Monday April 2

■ Dutch author Hans Christian Andersen was born in 1805. He died aged 70 in 1875.

Actor Buddy Ebsen ( Jed Clampett in The Beverly Hillbillies) was born in 1908. He died aged 95 in 2003.

Racing driver Jack Brabham was born in 1926. UK actress Penelope Keith is 78.

Tuesday April 3 ■ Actress and singer Doris Day (von Kappelhoff) is 94 (1924).

Actor Marlon Brando was born in 1923. He died aged 80 in 2004.

American entertainer Wayne Newton is 77 (1942).

US actor Alec Baldwin is 60. He was born in New York.

Thanks to GREG NEWMAN of Jocks Journal for assistance with birthday and anniversary dates.

Jocks Journal is Australia’s longest running radio industry publication.

Find out more at www.jocksjournal.com

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 61

Observer Showbiz

TV, Radio, Theatre

Fierce ■ As Melbourne embraces another AFL season, Fierce asks the question, what would happen if a woman was good enough to compete against men?

Suzie Flack has made it. She’s finally made it into the big league. The first-ever female footballer to play professionally with the blokes. Which is why you haven’t heard of her – she’s a work of fiction – she doesn’t exist, well not yet.

Alice Darling directs Fierce, being presented at Theatreworks until April 8.

The play tells of women attempting to enter into the male dominated world of Australian football and features actors Ellen Marning, Syd Brisbane, Nick Clark, Khisraw JonesShukoor, John Shearman, Rebekah Robertson and Izabella Yena.

Performance details: Until April 8 Venue: Theatreworks, Acland St., St Kilda Bookings: www.eventfinda.com.au/2018/ fierce/melbourne/st-kilda-east - Cheryl Threadgold

Trash Test Dummies

■ The award-winning circus troupe behind Trash Test Dummies have created a new production that will bring circus-filled hilarity to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival this March: Splash Test Dummies.

The winners of Best Children’s Presentation at Adelaide Fringe Festival 2016 and 2015 are trading in their wheelie bins for an adventure of oceanic proportions.

Since a Melbourne premiere in 2013, this trio has gone on to win a slew of awards and receive critical acclaim around the globe.

Their return to Melbourne follows three years of sell out seasons at Edinburgh Fringe Festival’s Underbelly, as well as touring USA, Hong Kong, South Korea, China, Ireland and the UK. For the uninitiated, the Test Dummies are three extraordinary circus comedians – Jamie Bretman, Simon Wright and Jack Coleman.

These highly skilled circus performers showcase acrobatics, juggling and stunt work.

An off-hand pun around a swimming pool sparked the idea for this new show, which takes all the skills, stunts and comedy from Trash Test Dummies and turns it into something bigger.

“We’re stepping up the whole production.

We’ve enlisted a sound designer, lighting designer, and working with stronger direction. Previously, we did this all ourselves,” says Jamie.

The troupe has enlisted Claire Bartholomew to direct the new show. Claire’s extensive directing and performance work has received no less than seven Green Room Award nominations, and one award in the Best Cabaret category.

In addition to theatre-making, Claire is a renowned clown master-class teacher. She has worked as a Clown Doctor at Children's Hospitals in Melbourne and around Australia for 13 years and is also a Training Advisor for The Humour Foundation (Clown Doctors) nationally.

Jamie says: “We don’t talk down to kids, I’m a firm believer in this – It’s important to us to make the work really good. We are constantly improving the show and giving kids permission to be involved (or not), but to trust us. It’s a really safe space and it’s really interactive.”

The performance runs for 60 minutes and is for audiences of all ages. Be prepared to have your funny bone well and truly tickled and your mind blown by what the human body is capable of.

Performances: 1pm March 31 – April 15 Venue: Melbourne town Hall – Lower Town Hall, Swanston St., Melbourne Bookings: comedyfestival.com.au or 1300 621 255 - Cheryl Threadgold

Ramin Karimloo tours with Anna O’Byrne

● Ramin Karimloo and Anna O’Byrne ■ Ramin Karimloo, Broadway and West End of Jean Valjean in London for which he won music theatre star, will tour Australia for the the 2013 Theatregoers' Choice Award for Best first time in June for a strictly limited season, Takeover in a Role. Ramin recently starred in with special guest Anna O’Byrne, star of Anastasia on Broadway to high acclaim.

Australia’s My Fair Lady.

Anna O'Byrne, one of Australia's leading The Melbourne performance will take place ladies, will be joining Ramin on stage. Anna on June 20 at Hamer Hall. was acclaimed for her portrayal of Eliza Doolittle Ramin Karimloo, a Tony Award nominee, in My Fair Lady, directed by JulieAndrews, for has played starring roles including Jean Valjean, which she won a Helpmann Award.

Enjolras and Marius in Les Misérables and The Australian born and now based in London, Phantom and Raoul in The Phantom of the Op- Anna has established an international career era. spanning opera, theatre, concert, and film.

He was handpicked by Sir Andrew Lloyd Anna was chosen by Andrew Lloyd Webber Webber to portray the title role in his sequel to to create the role of Christine Daaé in the AusThe Phantom of the Opera, Love Never Dies. tralian production of Love Never Dies.

He originated this role that won him the prestiFor this performance Anna was nominated gious Theatregoer’s Choice Award and the for Sydney Theatre and Green RoomAwards Broadwayworld.com award for Best Actor in a and the production was filmed and released in Musical. cinemas internationally by Universal Pictures.

He won the award for the Best Actor catAnna was then invited to make her West End egory for the prestigious Viewers' Choice The- debut as Christine in The Phantom of the Opatre Awards in 2011, as well as nominated for a era.

Laurence Olivier Award for Best Actor in a She created the role of Jenny Lind in Musical.

Cameron Mackintosh’s Barnum, and followed Ramin has also starred as Tom in Murder this in Robert Allan Ackerman’s Strangers on a Ballad at the Arts Theatre, London, Che in Evita Train. at Vancouver Opera, Archibald Craven in The In 2015 Anna played Anne Egerman in A Secret Garden at the Lincoln Centre and Prince Little Night Music as part of the show’s 40th of Broadway at the Umeda Arts Theatre, Ja- anniversary celebrations. pan.

She debuted with English National Opera in Ramin played the role of Enjolras in the 25th their landmark production of Sweeney Todd.

Anniversary Concert of Les Misérables at Anna became the first actress to perform London’s O2 Arena in 2010 where it continues Christine in The Phantom of the Opera in Rusto be one of the most widely viewed shows in sia. Anna then performed the role of Maria in PBS history.

West Side Story in Australia, before returning to In 2011 Ramin played The Phantom for three the UK to star as Sarah Brown in Guys and performances in the 25th Anniversary Produc- Dolls. tion of The Phantom of the Opera at the Royal Following Anna’s acclaimed success as Eliza Albert Hall.

Doolittle in My Fair Lady, Anna starred as Laura Additionally, he performed the title song, in Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Woman in Music of The Night, during Broadways 25thAn- White on London's West End. niversary Concert of The Phantom of the OpMelbourne Performance: Wednesday, June era.

20 at 8pm. Venue: Arts Centre Melbourne, From November 2011 to March 2012 Ramin Hamer Hall. artscentremelbourne.com.au or returned to Les Misérables to play the lead role 1300 182 183

THIN PLACES ■ In Celtic mythology. 'thin places' describes the close proximity between 'visible' and 'invisible' worlds.

Fiona Madigan draws inspiration from this concept un her pigment and cold wax medium paintings to describe aspects of the natural environment and the relationship between physical and ethereal worlds.

Working with a mixture of pigment, beeswax, resin and

● Peter Kemp

solvent on wooden panels; Madigan etches into each layer to reveal past gestures embedded within the painting.

The final painting invokes the nature of life cycle and its infinite weave through space and time.

Exhibition: Thursday March 29 - Saturday May 5.

Kingston Arts Shirley Burke Theatre 64 Parkers Rd, Parkdale G3Artspace

Antony and Cleopatra ● Catherine McClements in Antony and Cleopatra. Photo: Heidrun Lohr.

■ Bell Shakespeare presents Antony and Cleopatra from April 26 – May 13 at theArts Centre, Melbourne.

Directed by Peter Evans, the cast features Catherine McClements and Johnny Carr.

In the ruthless, ever-expanding empire of Rome, Shakespeare creates an astonishing portrait of a love too great for the world. Mark Antony is a hero in a post-heroic world.

He is torn between duty and love; his responsibility to Rome and his new life in Egypt; to the world he helped conquer; and his passion for Cleopatra.

Complex, charismatic, fierce. Cleopatra is a mother, a lover, a Queen. A woman not to be defied.

Peter Evans said: “I continue to be fascinated by Shakespeare’s ability to take the grandest moments in history and make them profoundly personal. Antony and Cleopatra charts the course of two of history’s famous leaders, the world’s first ‘celebrity couple’, but at the core it’s a story of love, of passion, of heartbreak.”

The ensemble cast includes Ray Chong Nee, Joseph Del Re, Ursula Mills, Lucy Goleby, Zindzi Okenyo, Gareth Reeves, Steve Rodgers, Jo Turner and Janine Watson.

Performance Details:April 26 – May 13 Venue: Arts Centre Melbourne Bookings: www.bellshakespeare.com.au 1300 182 183.

- Cheryl Threadgold

Actors wanted

■ Eltham Little Theatre requires two male actors for the forthcoming One Act Play Season. One is 40 – 50 years and the other male character is 20 – 30 years.

The play is the comedy A Fete Worse Than Death, by Chris Hodson and directed by Lisa McNiven.

The Reverend Goode has trouble on his hands. The annual church fete is approaching and there are rumblings within the church community that something needs to be done to ‘jazz it up a bit’. A humorous look at how Saint Swithen’s is forced to move with the times … with some even more humorous consequences.

If interested in one of these roles please emailLisa onlm.mcniven@optusnet.com.au or phone 0410 567 834.

Performance dates of the play are April 27-May 12.

- Cheryl Threadgold

At Least I Have A Cat ■ Nadine Sparks says she is in her late, late 30s. Hmm ... late 30s ... OK she’s had a 40th birthday party, only a few years ago and it was no big deal, she just went to Luna Park.

She is single, holding onto her day job by a thread and still renting. Miles from where she thought she would be. But at least she has a cat.

Nadine presents At Least I Have A Cat from March 28 - April 5 in Chinatown as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

This is a show about having nothing, but actually having it all.

Performance Season: March 28 - April 5 at 6.15pm (5.15 on Sundays) Venue: FAD Gallery, 14 Corrs Lane, Chinatown.

Tickets: $20-$25 Bookings: www.comedyfestival.com.au - Cheryl Threadgold

Page 62 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Observer Showbiz

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Movies, DVDs with Jim Sherlock, Aaron Rourke What’s Hot and What’s Not in Blu-Rays and DVDs FILM: THIS BEAUTIFUL FANTASTIC: Genre: Comedy/Drama/Fantasy.

Cast: Tom Wilkinson, Jessica Brown Findlay, Jeremy Irvine, Andrew Scott.

Year: 2016.

Rating: PG. Length: 100 Minutes.

Stars: ***½ Verdict: Delightfully engaging and eloquent fairy tale story of a young woman who dreams of being a children's author and relationship with her lonely, bitter and cantankerous old widower neighbour, but when she faces eviction because of her unkempt garden, hearts, friendships and creativity blossom.

Beautifully poetic and charming realization of a contemporary fantasy in the most unexpected of scenarios, set in modern day suburbia, succeeds due to the respectful and intelligent screenplay and direction by Simon Aboud, as the creation of the new garden soon becomes the metaphor for life and all its emotive power.

The performances by Jessica Brown Findlay (Downton Abbey) as the beautifully quirky Bella, and veteran Tom Wilkinson as the grumpy next door neighbour Alfie, immediately captivate, keeping the tale nicely balanced and well rooted in reality, never allowing its rich and rewarding tapestry to become too heavy handed.

Never mechanical or emotionally contrived, this is a simple and blissful breath of fresh air, a small movie with a big heart that shines with wit, beauty, humour and all the emotions nature has to offer, definitely one to embrace and enjoy.

FILM: PROFESSOR MARSTON AND THE WONDER WOMEN: Genre: Biography/Drama.

Cast: Luke Evans, Rebecca Hall, Bella Heathcote, Oliver Platt, Connie Briton.

Year: 2017.

Rating: MA15+ Length: 108 Minutes.

Stars: **** Verdict: The story of Dr. William Marston, the Harvard psychologist and inventor who helped invent the modern lie detector test and the relationship with his wife Elizabeth, a psychologist and inventor in her own right, and Olive Byrne, a former student who became an academic, and it was this subversive relationship with his wife and his mistress who would inspire his creation of the then controversial and now legendary comic book icon, Wonder Woman in 1941.

Fascinating period drama that looks into the adult lives of three extraordinary people and a unique relationship that would inspire the 20th century's first super-heroine succeeds due to respectful, sensitive and intelligent screenplay and direction by Angela Robinson.

Standout cast in stellar performances exhibiting superb chemistry includes Luke Evans as William Marston, Rebecca Hall as Elizabeth Marston, Bella Heathcote as mistress Olive Byrne and Oliver Platt as comic books publisher, M.C. Gaines.

Along with superb 1940s period detail, production design, costume design and cinematography the end result is a thought provoking, compelling, sexy, poignant, crazy, smart, sensual and hugely entertaining adult origin story that fought archaic and demeaning convention to create an iconic figure embraced by millions in literature and cinema, and won!

FILM: SUBURBICON: Genre: Crime/Drama/Mystery.

Cast: Matt Damon, Julianne Moore, Oscar Isaac.

Year: 2017.

Rating: MA15+ Stars: **½ Summary: Darkly comic, quirky but flawed and uneven noir thriller of a home invasion that rattles a seemingly perfect American family in a deceptively peaceful community that hides a violent underbelly when a mild-mannered father must face his demons in his neighbourhood in America in 1959.

Seemingly tacked on and misplaced, in a parallel event, right across the street an African-American family have moved into the neighbourhood and spark a chain of racial discontent with the towns people culminating in a race riot to have them evicted, but this is of little concern as Gardner Lodge (Matt Damon) who tries in vain to stop his life spiralling out of control.

Originally written in 1986 by Joel and Ethan Coen, around the time they created the classic "Fargo," this similarly themed film that also deals with a deceptive and bumbling husband who becomes involved in a wildly outrageous plot to change his life for the better, but sadly here, this falls way short on that landmark cinematic effort.

Co-writer, director and Coen Bros. stalwart George Clooney, along with partner Grant Heslov, have subtlety infused little nuggets from "Fargo" as well and their debut noir thriller "Blood Simple," among other Coen Brothers favourites, as well as reflective of David Lynch's chilling "Blue Velvet," an even darker depiction on the underbelly of seemingly innocent American suburbia.

Matt Damon as the deceptively dour husband and Julianne Moore in a duel role as the wheelchair bound wife and her sister are both in good form, but it is Oscar Isaac as the insurance salesman sparks up events, and along with period detail, production design and costume design of the period, they are all are the mark.

More appropriate if titled "The Untalented Mr. Ripley" this is dry, slow burning, predictable and even tiresome to a point, as director George Clooney and the Coen Bros. offer nothing new here, they've done it all before, only better.

Nonetheless, for fans of Clooney and the Coen Bros. there may be enough here to tickle the senses, but overall, this remains a shallow cousin to "Fargo."

Rourke’s Reviews: Ready Player One ■ (M). 140 minutes. Opens in cinemas on March 29, including 3D IMAX. T echnically dazzling but dramatically empty, this big budget blockbuster from veteran director Steven Spielberg, may enter the Guinness Book of Records for cramming the most amount of pop culture references into one feature film.

The year is 2045, and the setting is one of the poorer neighbourhoods of Oklahoma City, where our young hero Wade (Tye Sheridan) resides.

Wanting out, he regularly escapes to the virtual world of Oasis, and in this world he is known as Parzival.

Wade will soon team up with four other gamers to find three keys, which if located, will see the winner handed Oasis and the riches behind it.

Also after the prize is rival company CEO Nolan Sorrento (Ben Mendelsohn), who wants total control over the lucrative digital universe.

Visually Ready Player One is quite dynamic, and the large effects team should be applauded, but the non-stop cavalcade of pop culture references drowns out the story and its characters, making it hard to care about anything that is going on.

The highlight of the film involves a Stanley Kubrick film, and it is an absolute doozy.

RATING - ***

The Other Side of Hope (M). 100 minutes. Opens in selected cinemas on March 29.

There is no mistaking that dry, deadpan style of renowned Finnish director Aki Kaurismaki, and his low-key sensibilities help make this tale of war-torn refugees searching for a place to call home all the more affecting.

The story begins with Khaled (Sherwan Haji), who after fleeing the horrors currently happening in Syria, has inadvertently found himself in Finland.

Separated from his sister during their long, arduous trek, Khaled's official pleas for help fall on deaf ears, and deciding to make a break for it, finds himself at the newly acquired restaurant of ex-travelling salesman Waldemar Wikstrom (Sakari Kuosmanen), who decides to take the young man under his wing.

The two, who are both trying to find their feet again but for very different reasons, start to build up a sense of trust and friendship.

Kaurismaki(of Leningrad Cowboys fame) never sensationalises the material, keeping his characters likeable and believable, but still infuses everything with his unmistakable comic eccentricities and love of music.

This would make a wonderful companion piece with his 2011 film Le Havre, which is also must-see viewing.

RATING - ***½

Early Man (PG). 89 minutes. Opens in cinemas on March 29.

While not up there with the best ofAardman, this knockabout comedy still delivers the goods, filled with nicely moderated humour and slapstick.

Set in a relatively peaceful valley, we are introduced to a tribe who are still part of the Stone Age. Amongst this group is Dug (voiced by Eddie Redmayne), who is always questioning their chief (Timothy Spall) as to why they never aim higher in life.

One night, they are invaded by Lord Nooth (Tom Hiddleston) and his minions, who easily account for their cavemen adversaries, as they have long entered the far superior Bronze Age. Kicked out of their beloved Valley, the cave people challenge Nooth to a battle, with the victor gaining full control of the resourcerich area.

What battle will decide the tribe's fate? A game of soccer!

Director Nick Park maintains an agreeably goofy atmosphere throughout, with some highly amusing dialogue and sight gags.

There is some noticeable silliness on display for the very young, but overall this is still good, oldfashioned fun from the people at Aardman.

Make sure you stay through the end credits.

RATING - ***½

Re: Mind (M). 13 episodes. Now streaming on Netflix.

Based on a story by author Yasushi Akimoto (One Missed Call, The Suicide Song), this uneven series maintains mild interest, but variable acting and a fall into repetition prevents it from becoming truly compelling viewing.

Eleven high school students wake up in a large dining room, hooded and with their feet shackled to the floor.

Disorientated and terrified, the group, who are all in the same class, must start to piece together where they are and why, and who has gone to such great effort to capture, restrain, and scare them.

While the series moves along quickly enough (the episodes are only 24 minutes long), the story does bog down when certain plot points are repeated, and this does undermine any suspense that could have been created.

The cast, made up of members of the popular J-Pop group Keyakizaka46, offer generally onenote performances, which mutes the potentially weird, off-kilter atmosphere.

Of the group, Kyoko Saito and Ayaka Takamoto certainly fare the best.

Be prepared too for a highly interpretive ending that doesn't offer easy answers.

RATING - *** - Aaron Rourke

Top 10 Lists

THE AUSTRALIAN BOX OFFICE TOP TEN: 1. TOMB RAIDER. 2. BLACK PANTHER. 3. RED SPARROW. 4. GAME NIGHT. 5. PETER RABBIT. 6. 12 STRONG. 7. FINDING YOUR FEET. 8. THE GREATEST SHOWMAN. 9. THE SHAPE OF WATER. 10. THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI. NEW RELEASES AND COMING SOON TO CINEMAS AROUND AUSTRALIA: MARCH 22: ACTION POINT, MARY MAGDALENE, PACIFIC RIM: UPRISING, PETER RABBIT, THE DIVINE ORDER, THE ENDLESS. MARCH 29: A WRINKLE IN TIME, BLOCKERS, LOVE SIMON, PAUL, APOSTLE OF CHRIST, READY PLAYER ONE, THE DEATH OF STALIN, THE OTHER SIDE OF HOPE. THE DVD AND BLU-RAY TOP RENTALS & SALES: 1. PADDINGTON 2 [Family/Comedy/Hugh Bonneville, Sally Hawkins, Hugh Grant].

2. MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS [Mystery/Drama/Kenneth Branagh, Penelope Cruz].

3. FERDINAND [Animated/Adventure/Comedy/Raul Esparza].

4. JUSTICE LEAGUE [Action/Fantasy/Gal Gadot, Ben Affleck, Jason Momoa].

5. THOR RAGNAROK [Action/Sci-Fi/Comedy/Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, Cate Blancett].

6. THE KILLING OF A SACRED DEER [Mystery/Drama/Horror/Nicole Kidman, Colin Farrell].

7. ONLY THE BRAVE [Action/Biography/ Drama/Josh Brolin, Jeff Bridges, Jennifer Connelly].

8. DADDY'S HOME 2 [Comedy/Mark Wahlberg, Will Ferrell, Mel Gibson, John Lithgow].

9.

WONDER [Family/Drama/Jacob Tremblay, Julia Roberts, Owen Wilson].

Also: GOODBYE CHRISTOPHER ROBIN, JUNGLE, THE STAR, PROFESSOR MARSTON AND THE WONDER WOMEN, LOVING VINCENT, LUCKY, BLADE RUNNER 2049, BAD MOMS 2, THE LIMEHOUSE GOLEM, DUNKIRK. NEW RELEASE HIGHLIGHTS ON DVD THIS WEEK: THE DISASTER ARTIST [Biography/Comedy/ James Franco, Dave Franco, Seth Rogen].

SWEET VIRGINIA [Drama/Thriller/Jon Bernthal, Imogen Poots].

THE MAN WHO INVENTED CHRISTMAS [Biography/Comedy/Drama/Christopher Plummer].

WONDER WHEEL [Comedy/Drama/Kate Winslet, Jim Belushi, Justin Timberlake].

STAR WARS: The Last Jedi [Action/Fantasy/ Adventure/Daisy Ridley, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill].

LOOKING GLASS [Drama/Nicolas Cage, Robin Tunney].

NEW RELEASE HIGHLIGHTS ON BLU-RAY THIS WEEK: THE DISASTER ARTIST [Biography/Comedy/ James Franco, Dave Franco, Seth Rogen].

THE MAN WHO INVENTED CHRISTMAS [Biography/Comedy/Drama/Christopher Plummer].

STAR WARS: The Last Jedi [Action/Fantasy/ Adventure/Daisy Ridley, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill].

STAR WARS: The Last Jedi - 3D [Action/ Fantasy/Adventure/Daisy Ridley, Carrie Fisher].

STAR WARS: The Last Jedi - 4K [Action/ Fantasy/Adventure/Daisy Ridley, Carrie Fisher].

BLADE OF THE IMMORTAL [Action/Drama/ Sota Fukushi, Hana Sugisaki].

TWIN PEAKS: A Limited Event Series [Kyle MacLachlan, Sheryl Lee].

LOOKING GLASS [Drama/Nicolas Cage, Robin Tunney].

INGRID GOES WEST [ Comedy/Drama/Elizabeth Olsen, Billy Magnussen].

BLADE OF THE IMMORTAL [Action/Drama/ Sota Fukushi, Hana Sugisaki].

NEW RELEASE TELEVISION, DOCUMENTARY AND MUSIC DVD HIGHLIGHTS: TWIN PEAKS: A Limited Event Series [Kyle MacLachlan, Sheryl Lee].

A PLACE TO CALL HOME: Season 5.

HAWKE: The Larrikin and the Leader.

FLEABAG: Series 1.

EMPIRE: Season 3.

CASUAL: Season 1.

MISFIT GARAGE: Season 5.

JFK DECLASSIFIED: Tracking Oswald.

BRITANNIA: Season 1.

SILENT WITNESS: Series 21.

DOCTOR WHO: The Cybermen.

TRUE STORIES OF WWII: Collector's Edi-

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Obser ver - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 63

Observer Showbiz

Local Theatre with Cheryl Threadgold and team FAULTY TOWERS ■ Faulty Towers The Dining Experience returns for its 12th Melbourne International Comedy Festival from April 17 - 22, but this time in a new venue in the heart of the city, Stamford Plaza in Collins St. Featuring Basil, Sybil and Manuel serving a three-course meal, this show is full to the brim with madness and mayhem.

Chaos reigns right from the start in a fully immersive experience that sees the audience become diners in the Faulty Towers restaurant.

With 70 per centimprovised and a unique theatrical script, it’s a great show for comedy and theatre fans, or anyone who just fancies a great night out.

This loving tribute to the BBC sitcom is an internationally acclaimed treat. It opened in Brisbane in 1997 and now has 10 teams of cast touring the world virtually non-stop.

The cast for MICF 2018 features Monique Lewis Reynolds from Sydney (Sybil), Anthony Sottile from Melbourne (Manuel) and Luke McGibney from London (Basil).

Venue: Stamford Plaza Melbourne, 111 Little Collins St, Melbourne Dates: April 17-22 All tickets include a 3-course meal and 2hour interactive show: Lunch performances: Saturday-Sunday: 12:30pm for 1pm start. $89.00.

Dinner performances: Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday: 6:30pm for 7pm start. $89.00. Friday-Saturday: 6:30pm for 7pm start. $99.00. (all prices inc $2.20 booking fee) All bookings and info: www.torquaysuitetheatre.com 1300 308193 www.eventfinda.com.au

BOTOX PARTY ■ Brisbane comediennes #FirstWorld WhiteGirlsare bringing their show Botox Party to Melbourne’s International Comedy Festival from April 10 – 22.

The one-hour comedy show satirising first world privilege revolves around spoilt 'trust fund princesses', Tiffany (Judy Hainsworth) and Madison (Meg Hickey), who are throwing a Botox party where the audience are the guests.

"It's very Real Housewives," says Judy Hainsworth, who wrote the show and plays Tiffany. "Rich white women with big hair, big lips - and tiny little dogs."

Since 2014, #FirstWorldWhiteGirls have toured all over Australia, including multiple sold-out seasons at Adelaide Fringe. This year they are bringing their new show Botox Party to Speakeasy HQ. Tiffany and Madison host the party and provide the entertainment, leading the audience in games and singing original songs which reveal their politically-incorrect, egocentric world view.

Judy says: "The show pokes fun at millennials, climate change deniers and Donald Trump - how could you not?"

The show features popular songs Little Black Babies and Labiaplasty, which they have just filmed as a music video and released online.

Director Lewis Jones says: "Audiences can expect a really fun show where they can laugh and cringe at these outrageous characters, but also at themselves."

Judy adds: "We've invited Gina Liano - I really hope she comes."

Dates: April 10-22.

Time: 6pm Cost: $20-$29 Venue: Speakeasy HQ Tickets: www.comedyfestival.com.au

EASTER BREAK ■ The next issue of the Melbourne Observer will be published on April 11. There will be no issue of the Observer on Wednesday, April 4 (Easter Wednesday), to allow team members to take a mid-year break. Theatre companies may email their submissions.

Rob Mills joins Puffs ■ The producers of the Australian premiere of the off-Broadway smash Puffs have announced that Rob Mills will join the cast of this original comedy hit to play the coveted role of Cedric.

Mills says he is super excited to be a part of the off-Broadway hit.

“It’s great to be performing back in and I think it is going to whet the whistle for all the wizard fans out there,” says Mills.

“Comedy is something I have been wanting to get into for years and I’m excited to be making my comedic debut in Puffs.”

Puffs or: Seven Increasingly Eventful Years at a Certain School of Magic and Magic is the sell-out sensation that has been playing in New York since December 2015.

It will have its Australian premiere at the Alex Theatre, St Kilda on May 31, with previews commencing May 26. Tickets are now on sale at Ticketek.

The story tells about a certain boy wizard going to Wizard School for seven years. This, however, is not his story. This is the story of The Puffs who just happened to be there too.

Puffs is a Potter-inspired comedy for anyone who has ever felt like a secondary character in someone else’s story.

The full Puffs cast features Keith Brockett, Zenya Carmellotti, Olivia Charalambous, Daniel Cosgrove, Kiana Daniele, Ryan Hawke, Gareth Isaac, Rob Mills, Eva Seymour, David Todman, Annabelle Tudor, Tammy Weller and Matthew Whitty.

Puffs is written by Matt Cox and directed by Kristin McCarthy Parker. It features production and costume design by Madeleine Bundy, original lighting design by Herrick Goldman, sound design by Matt Cox and original music

by Brian Hoes.

The original New York production has been updated for this Australian premiere by Matt Cox and Kristin McCarthy Parker, both of whom are travelling ‘down under’ to bring this piece to life for local audiences with this whole new company of actors.

90TH BIRTHDAY ■ The Monash Academy Orchestra celebrates the 90th birthday of George Dreyfus with a concert on Sunday, April 15 at 2,30pm in the Robert Blackwood Hall.

With Benjamin Northey, conductor and Rebecca Chan, violin, the program includes: George Dreyfus, Fanfare for a New Dome George Dreyfus, Music from Let the Balloon Go George Dreyfus, Symphony No. 2 George Dreyfus, Sebastian the Fox George Dreyfus, Theme from Rush Korngold, Violin Concerto in D major Steiner, Suite from Gone with the Wind Event Date and Time: Sunday, April 15 at 2.30pm Venue: Robert Blackwood Hall, Monash University, Clayton Bookings: mapatickets.monash.edu

DARK IMAGININGS

● Rob Mills has joined Puffs.

Puffs is produced by TEG [Live] in association with Tilted Windmills Theatricals, John Arthur Pinckard and David Carpenter.

Previews: Saturday, May 26 - Wednesday, May 30. Opening Night: Thursday, May 31.

Performance Schedule: Tuesdays to Saturdays, 7:30pm; Sundays, 5:30pm Location: Alex Theatre, 135 Fitzroy Street, St Kilda Website: puffstheplay.com Ticket Info and bookings: ticketek.com.au Ticket Prices: All Previews $49.90; General Tickets from $69.90 - Cheryl Threadgold

Latest shows, auditions SHOWS

SHOWS

■ BUST Co (Burwood Student Theatre Co.)This Rose Has Thorns (by Dwayne Yancey) April 5 - 7 at 27 - 63 Morack Rd., Vermont.

Director: John Jennings. Bookings: www.trybooking.com/UHXX ■ Williamstown Little Theatre: Stones in His Pockets (by Marie Jones) April 19 - May 5 at 2 Albert St., Williamstown. Director: Trevor Handcock. Bookings: 0447340 665.

■ Frankston Theatre Group: The Farndale Avenue Housing Estate Townswomen's Guild Dramatic Society Murder Mystery (by David McGillivray and Walter Zetlin Jr.) April 20 - 29 at Mt Eliza Community Centre, Canadian Bay Rd., Mt Eliza. Director:Annie Laureson. Bookings: 1300 665 377.

■ Mordialloc Theatre Company: All Things Considered (by Ben Brown) April 20 - May 5 at Shirley Burke Theatre, 64 Parkers Rd., Parkdale.

Director: Deborah Fabbro. Bookings: 9587 5141.

■ Malvern Theatre Company: Our Town (by Thornton Wilder) April 20 - May 5 at 29a Burke Rd., East Malvern. Director: Peter Newling.

Bookings: 1300 131 552.

■ Geelong Repertory Theatre Company: The Resistable Rise of Arturo ui (by Bertolt Brecht, adapted by George Tabori). April 20 - May 5 at 15 Coronation St., Geelong. Director: Greg Shawcross. Bookings: GPAC 5225 1200.

■ Peridot Theatre: Three One Act Plays April 26 - 29 at Unicorn Theatre, Mt Waverley Secondary College, Lechte Rd., Mt Waverley. Play 1: English Made Simple (by David Ives), Director Emma Barber. Play 2: On the Edge (by

Kylie Rackham), Director Stephanie King; Play 3: A Little Box of Oblivion (by Stephen Bean), Director George Benca. Bookings: 9808 0770.

■ Bright Alpine Players: It's My Party (And I'll Die if I Want to) (by Elizabeth Coleman) April 26 - May 5 at Bright Courthouse, Park St., Bright. Director: Phyl Swindley. Bookings: trybooking.com ■ Foster Arts Music and Drama Association (FAMDA): The Web (by Kate Mulvany) at 79Main St., Foster. Director: Sue Lindsay. Bookings: 5682 2077.

■ Adelphi Players Theatre Company: Hippo Dancing (by Robert Morley) April 28 - May 6 at the Booran Road Hall, 264 Booran Rd., Ormond.

Director: Michael Mace. Tickets: $15 adults, $12 children/concession (includes refreshments and program). Bookings: 9690 1593

AUDITIONS ■ Powderkeg Players: Slut (by Patricia Cornelius) 4 April at 7.30pm, 8 April at 4.00pm at Dempster Park Hall, 82 Phoenix St., North Sunshine. Director: Natasha Boyd. Enquiries: powderkegplayers@gmail.com ■ Hartwell Players Inc: Lobster Man (by Jonathan Cook) April 15 at 2.00pm at BDC Dance Studio, Yertchuk Ave., Ashwood. Director: Kellie Tweeddale. Enquiries: 0418 118241.

■ Williamstown Little Theatre Inc: Under Milk Wood (by Dylan Thomas) 22 and 23 April at 7.30pm at 2 Albert St., Williamstown. Director: Sandy Green. Enquiries: sandramary green22@gmail.com

■ Showcasing the rich holdings from the University of Melbourne's rare books collection, Dark Imaginings: Gothic Tales of Wonder explores the emergence of an 18thcentury Gothic sensibility in literature, art and music.

It tells the stories of graveyard poets, body snatchers and anatomists, and the pseudoscientific craze of trying to bring dead creatures back to life with electric shock treatment through rare books, prints and music from the Gothic period and will also include a mock drawing room setting where visitors can sit and read excerpts of Gothic fiction.

The exhibition will mark a number of important Gothic anniversaries, including the bicentenary of the first publication of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein and the 200th birthday of Emily Bronte, author of Wuthering Heights.

Dark Imaginings: Gothic Tales of Wonder Noel Shaw Gallery, Baillieu Library Until July 31 library.unimelb.edu.au/ darkimaginings

CLOSER EXHIBITION ■ The Ian Potter Museum of Art presents Closer, a newly commissioned exhibition by Melbourne’s acclaimed artist Meredith Turnbull until July 1.

Exploring connections between visual art, craft and design through a response to decorative art objects from the University of Melbourne Art Collection, the artist has selected a rich array of objects ranging from antiquity through to the current day. She presents them alongside her own artworks in an immersive environment that includes wall paintings and custom designed furniture.

Objects chosen by Turnbull include delicately etched glassware, ornately detailed paperweights, roughly shaped ceramic vessels, finely glazed porcelain, and modernist fine art jewellery.

Meredith Turnbull takes a non-hierarchical approach to art making, combining sculpture, photography, decorative objects and jewellery in artworks that invite reflection upon adornment and excess, use-value and decoration. Decorative arts have often been differentiated from the fine arts due to their emphasis on their functionality as well as aesthetic qualities. Turnbull is interested in items that straddle the line between utility and excess.

The title of the exhibition, “Closer”, plays on the artist’s desire to have a closer encounter with precious collection objects which cannot be touched for conservation reasons.

Ironically it asks the question, is it sometimes easier to closely observe them through photographs, while we maintain our distance from the original?

Exhibition Dates: Until July 1. Tues to Fri 10am to 5pm. Sat to Sun 12 noon to 5pm.

Monday closed. Free admission Location: The Ian Potter Museum of Art. The University of Melbourne, Swanston Street, Parkville .

- Cheryl Threadgold

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Page 64 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 Melbourne

Observer

Lovatts Crossword No 27 Across

Across

2. Ousting 7. Unwell pupils' room 11. Mauls 17. Highest point 18. Brief sleep 19. Also known as (1,1,1) 20. Garbed 21. Miserliness 22. Bawdiness 23. Cornered (the market) 26. Sugar root 28. Lens for one eye 29. Underhand avoidance 31. Robust 34. Dangerous beach current 36. Gravy 39. Engine 41. Suspicious prowler 43. Ahead 46. Safe harbour 47. Goodbye, au ...

49. Close 51. Anxiety disorder 52. Show on screen 53. Extremely warm (3-3) 54. Plummeted 55. Fathers 56. Opposed 61. Affluence 64. Brass metal 65. Heavens 66. Unprecedented (7-2) 67. Cancelled 69. Largest mammal 71. Recommend 74. Triumph 76. Attacks 78. Persona ... grata 79. Melodic 81. Total 83. Underground molten rock 84. Cries in pain 86. Pass in traffic 89. Petticoat fabric 90. Repulsiveness 93. Native plants 94. Laze (about) 97. Waver (on edge) 100. Garret 101. Cote d'Azure region 103. Flightless birds 106. 20s/30s furnishing style (3,4) 108. Poison 109. Unroll (flag) 110. Dairy food 111. Telltale 112. Witchcraft 113. Orange skin 115. Car's registration sign 118. Media boss James's famous dad (5,6) 121. Highlander 124. Ticks over 128. In what place?

129. Distance runner 130. Stamp collector 134. From Dublin 135. Glue 136. Hide (booty)

137. Drummer, ... Starr 138. Bury (corpse) 139. Legitimate 140. Perilously 143. Requirements 144. Maritime 147. Malaysia's ... Lumpur 150. Urged on, ... up 151. Balanced (design) 155. Chill 157. And 158. Endangered atmosphere layer 159. Up until now (2,3) 162. Opts 164. Pierce with lance 167. Decants 168. Rust 169. Nashville is there 172. Got away 173. Watery snow 174. Preoccupy 177. Grating 180. Cattle farm 181. Dress's plunging ...

183. Artist, Pablo ...

184. Supplementing (5,3) 186. Relative amounts 187. Sports-jacket cloth 188. Biro 191. Hazy 195. Wooden pin 197. Regular 198. Openly 200. Fluctuates 202. Elk 203. Cat's foot 205. Astronomer's instrument 206. Frequently (poetic) 208. Price 209. Obscene 212. American Indian tribe 215. Wildebeests 217. Alaskan river 220. Rumpled (bed) 222. Preface 224. Peace 226. Summerhouse 228. Relay (4,2) 229. Snoops 230. Prepared meal 232. Contagious outbreak 235. Loops 236. Thieve 238. French holiday, ... Day 241. Team 242. Hoarse-sounding 243. Neat 244. Colours (hair) 246. Besieged 252. India's capital (3,5) 253. Skin disease 254. Mongolian desert 255. Artificial fertilisation (1,1,1) 256. Filled pastry 257. Stones singer, ... Jagger 258. Ratified 259. Learner

Down 1. Business sense 2. Downgrade 3. MP's electorate 4. Property holders 5. Uncertain 6. Garden statuettes 7. Bridge length 8. Bivouac 9. Howl like infant 10. Jabbers 11. More furious 12. Tells (story) 13. Layered ice cream 14. Public swimming pool 15. Reaping blade 16. Trinket 24. Exotic flower 25. Pressed clothes 26. Destroys with fire (5,4) 27. Post-Victorian (era) 28. Cow call 30. And not 32. Joints inflammation 33. Sexual excitement 35. Tease 37. Absent without leave 38. Simplicity 39. Dazzling (rise to fame) 40. Begin shooting, ... fire 42. Golf driving area 44. Colony insects 45. Coercion 47. Murderer, Jack the ...

48. Schnitzel meat 50. Sarah, Duchess of ...

53. Coral bar 57. Reader's complaint (3-6) 58. Indian PM, ... Gandhi 59. Enlivens 60. Kindred spirit (4,4) 62. Tooth coating 63. Row of columns 65. Gender 68. Cook in oil 70. Spirited (3-7) 72. Juliet's partner 73. Encourage (3,2) 74. Crockery item 75. Follow next 77. Copier 80. Violate (law) 82. Appalling 85. Amaze 87. Egotistical 88. Ku Klux ...

91. Fiesta, Mardi ...

92. Body pouches 95. Seize (power) 96. Biblical giant 98. Ushers 99. Minute 102. Automatically approved (6-7) 104. Duration 105. Mediocre journalist 107. Ultra-conservatives 113. Just defeating, ... at the post 114. Hard to pin down 116. Unfortunate 117. Reapply lacquer 119. Hocking 120. Distinguished

Down 122. Pivotal 123. Anti-riot vapour (4,3) 125. Fragrance 126. Less frequent 127. Office circulars 128. Beat (cream) 130. Postgraduate degree (2,1) 131. Tavern 132. ... & outs 133. Attempt 141. Waylays 142. Haughtier 145. Passenger jets 146. Next (to) 148. Very topical (2-2-4) 149. Greases 152. Display frames 153. Pork chop cut 154. Woodwork joint 155. Agents 156. Drive forward 160. By heart, by ...

161. Lost composure (5,4) 163. Writer, ... Uris 165. Welsh emblem 166. Parasites (7-2) 167. Lima is there 170. Supports (cause) 171. Self-indulgent exercises (3,5) 175. Army cap 176. Way in 178. Notions 179. Narrow shelf 182. Hinder 185. Earth's glacial period (3,3) 188. Makes holes in 189. Baby's carer 190. Snow-covered peak 192. Game, Chinese ...

193. Fences in 194. Greenwich Mean Time (1,1,1) 195. Penetratingly 196. Precious rocks 199. Beatle, John ...

201. Of another culture 204. Assistant 207. ... shui 210. Indifference 211. Bottle tops 213. Spinning toy (2-2) 214. Nasal haemorrhages 216. London nightspot 217. Upwardly mobile young person 218. Snuggle 219. Plant, aloe ...

221. Female deer 223. Bucharest native 225. Walking unsteadily 227. Perform 228. Mine shaft 231. Night & ...

233. Handgun 234. Bowling great, ... Lillee 235. Genetic mix 237. Submits (application) 239. Local expressions 240. Inheritance 245. Cob or pen 247. Hit (ball) high 248. Your school, ... mater 249. On top of 250. Ready for picking 251. Nip

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 65

Solution on Page 17

MEGA

CROSSWORD No 27 1

2

3

4

5

6

17

7

8

9

10

18

11

12

15

16

20 22

23 27

24

25

28

34

14

19

21

26

13

29

35

36 43

49

44

50

37

38

45

39

30

40

41

46

47

51

31

32

33

42

48

52

53

54 55

56

57

58

59

65 69

60

62

63

66

70

71

72

74 79

82

95

97

103

77

85 90

96

102

108

76 81

89

94 101

75

84

88

93

68

80

83 87

64

67

73

78

86

61

104

98

91

99

100

105

106

109

92

107

110

111

112 113

114

115

124

116

117

118

125

126

129

130

135

145

120

121

127

131

132

133

141

138

142

143

146

147

150

151

152

153

154

123

134

137 140

122

128

136 139

144

119

155

156

148

149

157

158 159

160

161

162

163

164

168

169

173

174 181

175

170

171

176

188

189

203 208

210

194

217

234

218

223

215

226

230 236

238

239

243 247

248

249

227

231

237

244

250

251

252

253 255

258

207

214

225

229

246

256 259

196

219

242

254

213

224

235

195

202

212

228

245

201 206

211

222

241

185

205

221

233

180

193 200

216

232

192

199

204 209

220

179 184

191 198

167

187

190

197

178

183 186

166

172

177

182

165

257 260

240

Page 66 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Quantity Surveyors Property depreciation services Just Depreciation is always going the extra mile to help all our clients whenever we can. We have decided to answer some of our frequently asked questions to help give you some advice and get a better understanding of our services to save you time and money.

If, for any reason, there are still questions you would like to ask us about our property depreciation services then don’t hesitate to call our friendly team who would be only too happy to help.

My property is old is it worthwhile getting a report prepared?

Yes, all properties regardless of age have some form of depreciation. The fixtures and fittings in the property must be valued at the date that you first make the property available for rental. Just Depreciation recommend reports for all residential properties no matter how old the building may be.

I have owned the property for a number of years and not claimed any depreciation, have I missed out?

No, we will start your report from the first date of rental and your accountant can apply to the Taxation Office to get previous returns adjusted. It’s never too late to claim any property depreciation.

How long does the report last for?

Our reports have 10 years of detailed information and enough detail for your accountant to expand on the individual items after this date so you won't have to arrange for a another report unless you carry out major renovations or improvements.

Do you guarantee your report will be worthwhile?

Yes of course, and we guarantee that if you do not receive a deduction that is twice the amount of our fee in the first year, then the report will be free. We believe this is the fairest and best possible outcome either way for our clients.

What is the process? Do I have to make appointments?

No, we make the appointments on your behalf via your rental manager and liaise with tenants for a suitable time for the property inspection so you need not worry about a thing.

What happens at the inspection?

We measure the property, take photos, take note of all depre ciable items and any capital building write off deductions that may apply and then return to the office to calculate and process the report.

www.MelbourneObser ver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 67

Metropolitan and Regional Victoria

GARNET BAILEY 0417 34 6214 ALL HOURS Offering a caring and professional service.

A LOCAL, WHO KNOW S LOCAL NEEDS

Prices start from $2500

Page 68 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 69

Page 70 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

1800 231 311

Melbourne Observer

PROMOTE your business to local people in the Melbourne Observer newspaper. Your ad will appear in the weekly print issue. Your ad will also be seen - at no extra charge - in our online edition at www.MelbourneObserver.com.au This can improve your Google ranking at no extra charge.

Trades & Services DIRECTORY

In print and online at MelbourneObserver.com.au

From just $5 per week

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

COMPARE OUR ECONOMICAL PRICES (includes GST): $12.50 per insertion for casual clients (4-issue minimum).

SAVE! $10 per insertion for 13-issues. ($130 package) SAVE! $7.50 per insertion for 26-issues. ($195 package).

SAVE! $5 per insertion for 44-issues. ($220 package). ● All Observer advertising packages are pre-paid.

We accept payment by Visa, Mastercard and American Express, with no surcharge. Or Direct Debit 033091 260131.

● All Trades & Services Directory ads are in full-colour, at no extra charge. ● No cancellations or refunds are available for discounted pre-paid advertising packages. ● No proofs or previews on discounted package ads. ● Free copy changes are welcome at any time during the run of your ad, at no extra charge. Phone 1800 231 311 before 5pm Fridays.

AUTO SERVICES

CREDIT MANAGEMENT

PLUMBING

DELTA DRIVING L SCHOOL P

Specialised Credit Collection for Tradies

R & R CENTRAL PLUMBING Small Jobs Specialist

Patient & Experienced Driving Instructor Auto & Manual

☎

0458 711 700

Our goal is to recover YOUR money, owed to you as fast as possible; cost-effective for your business without damaging your relationship with the clients

Fast Action Debt Recovery P/L Speak with Michael Conway OAM, Director. Phone: 0402 142 866 www.fastaction.net.au

BUILDERS, BUILDING SERVICES

HANDYMAN

Classic • Decks Carports Pergolas •• Pergolas

DANIEL’S

• Verandahs Plans and Permits Specialising in Timber and Colorbond® Free Quote call Eddie:

0413 128 242

BUILDING & RENOVATION GENERAL

• • • •

REMOVALS

Taps • Hot Water Changeovers Toilets • Burst/Leaking Pipes Blocked Drains/Sewers Carbon Monoxide Safety Checks No call out fees

Rod 0409 171 286

Lic 44353

Visa & Mastercard accepted

RENDERING

REBLOCKING/UNDERPINNING

HANDYMAN SERVICE

• General Painting - Int/Ext • Home Maintenance • Gutters Cleaned • Windows Cleaned • Free Quotes • Quality Assured

0425 745 459 HEATING AND AIR CONDITIONING

FIVE STAR REBLOCKING & UNDERPINNING

Antonio’s Rendering

Contact Simon: 9309 0700 • 0411 174 000

0425 795 762

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

✔ Solid Render ✔ Texture ✔ Polystyrene ANY JOB - Big or Small 35 years experience Free Quotes - Call

Full Insurance All work Council approved 15 years guarantee All Council permits supplied 100% computer levelling Concrete pump used 15 years experience For a free quote and advice

RENDERING RENDERING PLASTERING & PAINTING

REBLOCKING/UNDERPINNING

JOSWIL BUILDERS ✔ Extensions/Renovations ✔ Expert in Upper Storeys ✔ Design and Construct ★ Free Quotes ★

• Foam Insulation • Plasterboard • Blue Board Free Quotes. Friendly Service.

☛ 25 YEARS EXPERIENCE ☛ REGD MASTER BUILDER

Paul 9759 7585 0411 189 594

CARPENTRY WRIGHT CHOICE CARPENTRY Dylan Wright Mobile: 0426 501 445 E: dyl.wright@live.com.au @wrightchoicecarpentry Decks, Pergolas, Carports, Gates, Extensions, Renovations, Building Maintenance, Any Carpentry Needs Call now for a quote

CLEANING SERVICES

0439 046 716 HEATING AND FIREPLACES LIC. 51016

All Makes & Models Your Local Expert Pensioners Discounts • No Hidden Costs!

■ Ducted Heating ■ Split Systems ■ Wall Furnace/Space Heater ■ Carbon Mononxide Testing Keeping Your Family Safe Installtion, Ser vice & Repairs Licensed Plumber & Gas Fitter

✆ 0431 577 063 PLASTERERS

Michael Dempsey Heritage Conservations Pty Ltd

• Genuine Equipment • Genuine Quality Duct Cleaning & Repairs • Genuine 19 years’ experience

w w w.kmark. c om.au .kmark.c 0411 602 106

CONCRETING

ALL RENDERING AND PLASTERING • Internal and External • Traditional and Modern Mike 0412 353 007 PLUMBING

CRAIG’S GAS & PLUMBING Specialist in Gas Appliance Service & Installation

COMMERCIAL INDUSTRIAL & RESIDENTIAL CONCRETING CONTACT US FOR A FREE QUOTE

0499 773 569

COMCONCRETE@OUTLOOK.COM

• Service to Ducted Heaters, Wall Furnaces, Space Heaters, Stoves & Ovens • Supply & Installation of Gas Appliances • Carbon Monoxide testing on Heaters • Replacement hot water units • Pensioner discounts

Phone: 9379 1733 www.craigsgas.com.au LIC 33201

Promote your business Melbournewide If you are serious about winning customers across Melbourne, place a listing in the Melbourne Observer Trades and Services Directory.

From as little as $5-a-week for a colour business-card-size ad, your listing will be seen across the metropolitan area in print and online.

And if you specialise in just a certain section of Melbourne (north, south, east or west), say so in your ad, then you can attract customers in your local area.

To arrange for your business to be listed, call one of our friendly ad-visors at the Melbourne Observer Advertising Department .

Melbourne

Observer

Phone 1800 231 311

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018 - Page 71

Page 72 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 28, 2018

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au