Melbourne Observer. 130501A. May 1, 2013. Part A. Pages 1-14

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Page 2 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 1, 2013

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Mark Richardson ♥ Straight from the heart

E-Mail: mark@localmedia.com.au

NIGHT OF NIGHTS IN MALVERN Community Porch Thoughts

● Geoff Hickey. Photos: Kon Iatrou and Joanne Nguyen Geoff Hickey (Director - The Diary of Anne Frank) As a Director working with the many talented actors that Melbourne is fortunate to have, and actively participating as they hone the skills of their craft, is the reward that has given rise to a long and fulfilling lifetime in theatre.

Freya Timmer-Arends (plays Anne Frank) One of the best things about community theatre is the wonderful environment and atmosphere created when working with people who are passionate about theatre. Not forgetting to mention the numerous friendships you make along the way.

Nick Jacquinot (plays Peter Van Daan) Community theatre provides a tremendous outlet for young actors like myself to sharpen their skills and engage with new material.

Malvern Theatre is not just this, but also family.

Alison Campbell Rate (plays Mrs Frank)

Theatre groups like Malvern provides me with opportunities to learn and grow as an actor, to be part of a great variety of excellent productions, to refine my skills as a playwright and make some lovely friendships.

Trevor Hanna (plays Mr Frank) Amateur theatre provides local residents with the opportunity to enjoy live theatre at an affordable cost.

Productions are often of professional quality and Malvern Theatre Company has an exceptional record in this regard.

David Earl (Lighting Designer) Creating the lighting plot for any show combines the obvious necessity of illuminating the cast members sufficiently whilst creating a suitable mood.

Malvern is fortunate in having a large computerised control desk and 80 odd spotlights so many changes to the feel of the play are possible.

● Inset: Nick Jaquinot. Main photo: Trevor Hanna

● Freya Timmer-Arends ■ It's funny to think the best part of my day only came to light just hours before its close.

I am not a show- or a performancereviewer, or in any way qualified to offer professional comment about the production that made this day memorable; although I can present my experience on the Malvern Theatre Porch.

As member of my local community who paid $20s to be entertained, my evening at the opening night of their 324th major production - The Diary of Anne Frank (by Frances Goodrich and Albert Hackett) turned out to be the 'night of nights' I wasn't expecting.

My $20 included sweet sherry upon arrival, cake and coffee during interval, whilst supporting the passion and theatrical dreams of 10 actors, 15 backstage crew members and several front of house operators.

Everyone involved works for two

months on a completely voluntary basis to present audiences with, what I discovered to be a highly professional, engaging and memorable production.

The varying shades of lighting, timely and creative sound effects, the detail of the set, props, costumes, music and storytelling by the actors drew me in, almost teleporting my red seat into the hidden loft in Amsterdam in 1942.

Anne remained in hiding for two years with her diary, family, friends, a stranger and for a time a cat named Mouschi, during the Nazi occupation of the Netherlands until being apprehended in 1944.

My emotions were rife with jolts of fear, sadness, disappointment, despair, loss, anger and for a moment, hope.

I felt part of their journey and drawn to each of the characters for different reasons.

Off The Porch Thought For The Day Brian Amos Program Convenor Radio Eastern 98.1, Croydon Victoria "Amateur theatre as it was once known is now anything but amateur. Non-professional theatre is a great evening of entertainment with many pluses for patrons. The selection of plays and musicals are performed with high quality Directors, talented casts with stunning sets and lighting. With parking close to theatres, most companies offering pre-show sherry, refreshments at interval and light supper after the show. Plays are priced between $15 and $20 and musicals from $30 to $50. Why pay more?"

● David Earl Their compelling artistry ignited my desire to meet and congratulate the entire cast and crew following the show to simply say; “Wow! That was incredible, thank you.”

The President of the Malvern Theatre Company Inc. (established in 1966), Dina MacNamara, explained that many local theatre companies are struggling to survive and heavily rely on ticket sales to pay their overheads.

Apart from the sherry and refreshments (thank you), companies also have to purchase the rights to scripts, music licences and have the latest technology and equipment to keep attracting talented cast and crew members to their productions; and to ensure audiences keep returning.

Just like in my own backyard, I am positive the same experiences are being presented by companies in Mt Waverley, Clayton, Williamstown, Essendon, Shepparton, Frankston, Bendigo, Warrnambool, Geelong and in theatres in between and far beyond.

The Diary of Anne Frank presented by Malvern Theatre Company runs until Saturday (May 4) followed by What The Butler Saw (by Joe Orton) Directed by Michael Coe from June 21- July 6. www.malverntheatre.com.au For a comprehensive listing of Australian and Victorian community theatre companies visit www.dmoz.org or read Cheryl Threadgold’s local theatre report weekly in the Melbourne Observer.

- Mark Richardson

● Alison Campbell

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 1, 2013 - Page 3

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City Desk

Melbourne

Observer

The hottest news about Melbourne’s A-listers

The Buzz Palace Of The End Tea party time

● Hannah Norris

● Alana Lowes ■ TV presenter and food writer Alana Lowes has joined the country’s biggest tea party as national ambassador – helping Australia’s Biggest Morning Tea celebrate 20 years this May. The celebrity has joined the likes of Poh Ling Yeow, Dominique Rizzo and Matt Moran as a 2013 ambassador, committed to making every cup count in the fight against cancer.

One of Australia’s most popular fundraising events, attracting over a million people every year and raising $110 million in the last two decades, Australia’s Biggest Morning Tea turns 20 this May 23.

Vale Jared

● Jared Sheldon ■ Former Triple M Melbourne and Joy 94.9 worker Jared Sheldon, 28, has died in Thailand.

He suffered several cardiac arrests at Paolo Memorial Hospital in Bangkok, Thailand. His funeral will be held in Melbourne.

■ Hannah Norris (photographed

by Sarh Walker) portrays an American soldier in Palace Of The End, at Theatre Works from June 6-16.

March this year marked 10 years since the invasion of Iraq by the coalition forces and next month sees Theatre Works present the Australian premiere of Judith Thompson’s critically acclaimed show – a trio of monologues that tell the stories of three people forever impacted by the war in Iraq. ● More on Page 75

Under The Clocks Ozcar presentation for Gerry Ryan

HEY HEY! ● Molly Meldrum with Herald Sun Managing Director Peter Blunden at the OzCar presentation held on Wednesday

● Daryl Somers and Anne Horiz ■ The Salvation Army is calling for volunteers to help with this year’s annual Red Shield Appeal doorknock weekend on Saturday-Sunday, May 25-26.

The Salvation Army help more than one million Australians in crisis every year – and now the Salvos needs support.

The Red Shield Appeal helps The Salvation Army provide more than 100,000 meals and 5000 food vouchers to hungry people and 2000 beds for homeless people every week. The Salvos hope to mobilise 100,000 volunteers.

Dr Bruce Redman of The Salvation Army says there is a big need for collectors this year. He says it is deeply disturbing to find that some people on low incomes or government benefits may have just $50 a week to live on once they have paid their rent.

Dr Redman added: “Across Australia, our services are under significant pressure. We are seeing working mums and dads coming to our door who desperately need our help. All too often they are having to choose whether to pay bills or buy food for their families.”

“It’s for this reason that we urge people to give up a small amount of time to lend a hand and to help make a world of difference. It is volunteers that are the heartbeat of The Salvation Army.”

The Salvos want to hear from individuals, businesses, local associations, schools and local community groups who could give a few hours of their time across the weekend.

To become a volunteer and get involved just call 13 SALVOS (13 72 58) or visit www.salvationarmy.org.au

● Gerry Ryan and movie director Simon Wincer

Melbourne Moments Volunteer call ■ The Starlight Children’s Foundation is making an urgent call for more than 5000 volunteers to support its biggest annual fundraising day, Starlight Day on Friday (May 3) Funds raised go will help Starlight continue to run programs like Captain Starlight and the Starlight Express Rooms, medical free havens giving sick kids an escape from the daily stress of hospital life.

Starlight CEO Louise Baxter hopes $1.5 million will be raised.

Those able to give some time to help should go to www.starlightday.org. au or phone 1300 727 827.

Simply cruising

● John Kerr with Katherine Jenkins

■ A Sydney radio broadcaster, John Kerr, is seeking to recruit Victorian travellers to join him on the Celebrity Cruise Lines, Constellation on August 22 this year.

The 19-day $7895 twin share cruise includes 13 days/12 nights on the cruise liner and sightseeing tours of Amsterdam, Holland; Berlin, Germany; Tallinn, Estonia; St Petersburg, Russia; Helsinki, Finland; Stockholm, Sweden; Copenhagen, Denmark and Paris, France, including a Moulin Rouge dinner and show in Paris.

More photos on Page 77 ● Alan Johnson with Herald Sun reporter Luke Dennehy.

What’s On In Melbourne

The March Against Monsanto will be held on Saturday, May 25. ★ Melbourne’s rally will be held in front of the State Library at 2pm, advises Tova Britbart of Caulfield, phone 0451 173 101. your mind, body and soul with free Qigong classes, 8am★Exercise 9am, every Friday morning at Federation Square.

Page 4 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 1, 2013

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Melbourne People

VIP performance of Legends Of The Skies at the Australian National Aviation Museum, Moorabbin Airport.

Photos: Malcolm Threadgold

Photographer Malcolm Threadgold was at the VIP performance of Legends Of The Skies held at the Australian National Aviation Museum at Moorabbin Airport

● Cameron McKenzie, grandson of aviatrix Gertrude McKenzie, with Aviation Historical Society Secretary Neil Follett.

● Australian National Aviation Museum's Chair of Council, Graham Malcolm, with Mayor of Kingston, Cr Ron Brownlees.

● 88.3 Southern FM's Terri Adams (left) and Joan Krutli from Golden Days Radio.

● CEO of Moorabbin Airport, Paul Ferguson, with President of Beaumaris Theatre, Janine Chugg.

● Frank McCulloch and Julie Herbert at the VIP performance night

● Cr Tamsin Bearsley and Cathy Wilson representing Mark Dreyfus QC MP

● David Johnston with Judy Sullivan

● Noel Pullen (left) representing Simon Crean MP, Cr Rosemary West, and Secretary of the Australian National Aviation Museum, Mark Pilkington.

● Kingston historian Graham Whitehead with Jeremy Keyt

● Co-writer/directors of Legends Of The Skies: Cheryl Threadgold and Jim Williams

● Derek Adams with historian John McCulloch

● The Williams family: Julie (wardrobe co-ordinator) and Carlyn (performer).

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 1, 2013 - Page 5

Springtime For Hitler

35% INTEREST Observer It’s All About You!

Melbourne

In This 88-Page Edition

■ The Australian Securities and Investments Commission has issued an infringement notice to Foresters Community Finance Ltd (trading as Fair Finance Australia) for what it alleged to be false or misleading advertising.

Fair Finance is alleged to have advertised on its website in October last year that the effective annual interest rate on certain loans was 19.95 per cent, when the interest rate under the relevant credit contracts was in fact 35 per cent.

ASIC subsequently contacted Fair Finance who removed the ad.

Fair Finance contended the ad was a result of compliance failure.

“Accurate advertising, especially in providing credit, is essential so consumers are not misled and put in a potential situation where they take on too much debt and are unable to repay,’ said ASIC Commissioner Peter Kell.

Fair Finance paid a $6600 penalty on March 22.

Fair Finance’s payment of the infringement notice is not an admission of a contravention of the ASIC Act. ASIC can issue an infringement notice where it has reasonable grounds to believe a person has contravened certain consumer protection laws.

Previous ASIC actions over potentially false and misleading ads included GE Money changing personal loan online advertising, RAMS changing advertising in response to ASIC concerns; and HSBC changing home loan advertising

!

N I W

● Laura Green, Ellie Johnston, Steven Walker, Teisha Cohen and Julia Walker rehearse for The Producers, being presented by JYM Theatre Company May 11-25 at the Phoenix Theatre, Elwood.

Photo: Des McMillan ■ JYM Theatre Company has chosen Mel romancing scores of little old ladies to ‘invest’ Brooks’s hilarious musical The Producers for in the worst show ever made. They plan to bank their next show, to be presented May 11-25 at the investments and abscond to Brazil as soon the Phoenix Theatre, 101 Glenhuntly Rd, as the play folds, but their plans unravel as the Elwood. worst show of all time goes horribly right!

The story tells of a has-been Broadway proJYM Theatre Co. is Australia’s only ducer and a young naïve accountant who Jewish musical theatre company and is comstumbles across the notion that more money can mitted to providing an outlet for aspiring acbe made from backing a sure-fire flop than try- tors, singers, dancers and crew members, ofing to produce a success. fering a broad range of on-stage and behindWith this, the two embark on a whirlwind the-scenes opportunities. tour of the crazy world of showbiz, finding the Tickets: www.jymtheatre.com or 0402 worst script, schmoozing the worst director, and 088 797.

- Cheryl Threadgold

Mike McColl Jones

Top 5 THE TOP 5 THINGS THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN 5. Indian rugs for sale at the recommended retail price.

4. Digging up time capsules that were buried years ago.

3. A shop closing down after a ‘Closing Down Sale’.

2. A "Celebrity" TV show that actually features a Celebrity.

1. John Singleton to sit down for dinner with Tom Waterhouse dot com

Melbourne

Observer

To:

Mark Richardson: On the boards .................. Page 2 City Desk: Latest A-Lister gossip .................. Page 3 Melbourne People: In the picture ................. Page 6 News: Telstra mix-up .................................. Page 7 Di Rolle: ‘I love my job’ ................................ Page 8 Melb. Confidential: The Bitch, Rumour Mill ... Page 9 Long Shots: New ‘Never Argue’ column .... Page 10 Yvonne Lawrence: Life and Style ............... Page 11 Melb. Extra: The Outback Legend ............. Page 12 Telstra Testimonials: Customer complaints .. Page 14 Readers Club: Birthdays, recipes, fun ........ Page 74 Country Crossroads The Hunt, Mr Roberts Local Theatre Latest Mega Crossword

Observer Showbiz

Latest News Flashes Around Victoria

Disqualified driving ■ Surf Coast Councillor David Bell is back in his big red truck after a magistrate spared his licence over his second driving while suspended charge, reports the Geelong Advertiser.

Jailed after stabbing ■ Pamela Turner, 71, of Rushworth, has been jailed after stabbing her estranged husband, because she wasn't invited to his birthday party.

Weather Forecast ■ Today (Wed.). Shower or two. 10°-18°.

■ Thursday. Morning shower or two. 12°-17°.

■ Friday. Partly cloudy. 9°-17°.

DOUBLE PASSES TO ‘LEGALLY BLONDE’ The Melbourne Observer has five double passes to give away for the 1pm show of Legally Blonde at the Princess Theatre, 163 Spring St, Melbourne, on Wednesday, May 15, 2013.

Legally Blonde stars Lucy Durack, Rob Mills, Helen Dallimore, Erika Heynatz and Cameron Daddo.

To enter, clip out the entry form, place in an envelope, and mail to Legally Blonde Competition, PO Box 1278, Research, 3095, to reach us by first mail, Monday, May 6, 2013. Winners’ names will be published in the Melbourne Observer on May 8, 2013.

Tickets will be mailed to winners.

Our usual competition rules apply.

READER COMPETITION

Legally Blonde Competition Melbourne Observer PO Box 1278, Research 3093

Entries need to reach us by first mail Mon., May 6, 2013

Name: ..................................................................................

Address: ................................................................................ ......................................... Postcode: ...............................................

Page 6 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 1, 2013

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People Melbourne

● Zoe-Leone Gappy met with Melbourne theatrical identity Frank Howson who is overseeing the production of Good Morning Hong Kong

Send news to editor@melbourneobserver.com.au

Fax: 1-800 231 312

Positive vibes with Oprah

Legends Of The Skies ● Toorak woman Megan Castran caught up with her friend Oprah Winfrey, who is conducting a series of evenings in the US and Canada.

Tonnes of laughs

● Nick Taras ■ The Melbourne International Comedy Festival Funny Tonne competition results were announced during the 16th Annual Comedy Festival Awards.

Nick Taras, 22, has broken the 2011 record of 145 shows by clocking up a total of 147 shows.

When Taras accepted his award he said, “It's been an amazing month of non-stop laughter and enjoyment, but to be honest, I'm so happy to go back to my normal, sad life."

Being a funny tonner has its pitfalls; Taras has been living off take-out and limited sleep throughout the festival.

However, he feels privileged having discovered original and naturally funny local comedians that he ordinarily would not discover.

Funny Tonne is an annual competition created to see just how many shows it is possible for one ‘comedy nut’ to see throughout the festival.

This year the three Funny Tonne ‘nuts’ all surpassed the 100 show mark.

Cathy Culliver came second place on 131 shows and Jonathan Graham came in third place on 125 shows.

● Pictured at the Legend Of the Skies VIP performance at the Aviation Museum at Moorabbin Airport were Rita Crispin who portrays late aviatrix Gertrude McKenzie; Gertrude's grandson Cameron; and Maggie Morrison, who lives on the site of Gertrude's former home in Mordialloc. More pictures on Page 4.

Melbourne’s Rosa In SoCal

POW talks on 3AW

● Marney McQueen’s character Rosa Waxoffski has been making friends at Venice Beach, Southern California.

● 3AW’s Denis Walter interviewed World War II veteran Jack Bell, 95, last week. The former prisoner-ofwar told of his experiences in the 1939-45 conflicts.

● Observer arts columnist Julie Houghton met with Welsh bass-baritone Bryn Terfel ahead of his Melbourne appearances. Julie recorded an interview for her program on 3MBS-FM. See more on Page 75.

‘Nelson and me’

Opening night

● Movie star Nelson Eddy was pictured with Observer reader Faye LaGalle in 1962. Kevin Trask traces the Nelson Eddy story on Page 12.

■ Tonight (Wed.) sees the opening of of musical comedy Mother, Wife and the Complicated Life at Chapel Off Chapel.

It is written by Amity Dry who won Channel 9’s The Block All Stars.

She begins her New York season in late July.

It will be part of the NY Musical Theatre Festival presents 30 productions chosen from thousands of shows submitted globally.

The script and music for Amity’s four-woman musical was submitted to the New York Festival anonymously and went through a rigorous month-long selection process before being chosen.

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 1, 2013 - Page 7

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Observer

Breaking News

Sweet Charity

MIX-UP FIX-UP

Inside news from TV, radio, press and online

Briefs

Ain’t what it used to be

Discipline

■ A Dandenong Hospital registered nurse with 16 years experience has been disciplined for responding to a violent risk.

The nurse was working night shift in a secure section when he was approached by a man who had breached security to gain entry to the area.

The nurse and a nearby doctor brought the man to the ground.

Both the nurse and the man sustained injuries during the incident.

The Australian Nursing Federation has called on management to withdraw its punitive actions against the nurse.

Makeup

■ Monash Gallery of Art will feature Make up: painted faces in contemporary photography from May 3.

Some 38 works will be exhibited by leading contemporary Australian photographers Eric Bridgeman, Bindi Cole, Ray Cook, Sandy Edwards, Siri Hayes, Owen Leong, Darren Sylvester, Nat Thomas and Concettina Inserra, Christian Thompson and Justene Williams.

Media Flash

■ Telstra customer Susan Campbell-Wright says calls to her family were wrongly directed to another family.

“Last month I moved to a housing estate where the owners corporation has decided that Telstra is the only permissible landline provider,” Susan told the Melbourne Observer.

“I’m not sure of the reasons or the legality, but we’re behind a gate and we’re told we need a Telstra phone to activate the gate (otherwise I wouldn’t need a land line at all).

“I’ve been with Optus from day one so reluctantly transferred to Telstra with a phone call on March 25.

“The Telstra operator sold me a home phone plan and said that the phone would be connected at my new address on the day I moved in: March 28, by 10am.

“Since then I’ve rung them (12 times, counting today) to find out why I still have no phone and although they’re polite and helpful, they can’t say.

“They promise to connect it within a certain time frame (usually 48 hours although today it was ‘about May 6’) but nothing happens.

Complaint “I lodged a complaint with Telstra, explaining all the contact I’d had with them, and that I believed that my phone was still connected at my old address from what I’d been told in various calls.

“They responded after three days to say that my account is active and that I should check my handset. They clearly hadn’t read my complaint, so at that point I lodged a complaint with the Teleomunications Industry Ombudsman.

“So it seems that Telstra has transferred our number from our old address but not to our new address – somehow along the way it has been patched into someone else’s line and they’re receiving our calls.

“We rang faults and explained that Telstra is now seriously inconveniencing two families (we can’t open the gate and they’re getting baffling veteran car calls) but they said they can only book a technician to come out ‘about May 6’ and that it’s not a priority case.

Problem solved Susan contacted the Melbourne Observer office on Friday, and we gave the challenge to James Howe, Telstra Media Relations/Corporate Afairs man.

The problem was fixed by late Monday afternoon.

Mr Howe said: “We had technicians on site today and it appears as though Ms Campbell-Wright’s fault has been repaired.

“There was initially a delay with her order and when we went to work on it was discovered it was on a faulty line. A technician was needed to visit to replace some hardware but the upside is the service is now working.”

The Best of Melbourne Observations with Matt Bissett-Johnson (Dec.2010)

■ Jonathan Holmes is soon to leave the post of compering ABC-TV’s Media Watch.

He is due on May 16 to deliver the Henry Mayer lecture in which he is expected to argue that the program is no longer, as it used to be, the only effective check on the misdeeds of the Australian media.

More than 30 names appear in the ABC1 program’s credits. The show runs for 15 mins at approx. 9.15pm Mondays.

● Jonathan Holmes

My Calombaris Rules ● Alana Kiely as Charity in Williamstown Musical Theatre Company’s production of Sweet Charity running from May 3-18.

Photo: Gavin D Andrew ■ Do you ‘wanna have fun’? Williamstown Musical Theatre Company is proudly presenting Sweet Charity from May 3-18 at the Williamstown Mechanics Institute, corner Melbourne Rd and Electra St, Williamstown.

Have you ever known a girl who wanted something so badly, that she tried too hard to get it? Meet Charity, the girl who wants to be loved so much, she has lost sight of who she is.

Charity sings, dances, laughs and cries her way through romances with the ‘animal magnetism’ hero, the ‘ultra-chic continental’ hero, and the ‘impossibleto believe-but-he's-better-than-nothing’ type hero.

The wonderful musical numbers include Big Spender, If My Friends Could See Me Now, There’s Gotta Be Something Better Than This, I’m A Brass Band and The Rhythm Of Life, plus dance routines such as Rich Man’s Frug, made famous by the 1969 movie version starring Shirley MacLaine.

Co-director/choreographers are Narelle Bonnici and Samantha Heskett, with musical direction by Daniel Heskett.

Samantha Heskett says the reason people still want to hear Charity’s story is “Because we all want a little bit of what Charity has got.

“Charity has the innocence of a child. She can see the good in all people, even those who can’t see it in themselves.”

Tickets: $32/$28. Bookings: www.wmtc/.org.au or 1300 881 545.

- Cheryl Threadgold

Radiothon time ■ Melbourne's gay-lesbian community radio station, Joy 94.9, will launch its annual week-long membership drive in June, kicking off its 2013 radiothon theme, ‘Joy To The World’ on air from Friday, May 31.

Prizes include a 2012 Suzuki Swift GLX Manual in Boost Blue, valued at $21,465.

Joy is 100 per cent reliant upon public contributions to stay on air, and with a 5 per cent increase on memberships in 2012, the station hopes to exceed its numbers this year.

The station is powered by approximately 250 volunteers each year. This includes 130 presenters, 40 news readers, 30 producers and podcasters and a 50 behind-the-scenes program support and administration team.

The money raised during Joy's annual Radiothon determines its operations for the ensuing 12 months.

■ A gaggle of Age journalists is keeping a tally on who gets the most mentions in one scribe’s column in the circulationcompacted daily.

They say restaurateur George Calombaris and Catholic irritator Fr Bob Maguire are at the top of the 2013 leaders’ board.

George, who has Greek-Cypriot heritage, is doing well because it usually helps to be Italian to ensure a mention.

● George Calombaris

Facebook quiz for cadets ■ “What would the last person you ‘de-friended’ on Facebook say about you in three words?"

That is one of the 32 questions asked of candidates for News Limited journalist cadetships.

Candidates are asked to complete an 11-page document, and also file a 30-second video complete with voiceover.

Ballarat plant expands ■ The Age and The Australian Financial Review will soon be printed at the Ballarat Courier plant. Ballarat Council has fast-tracked a planning development permit for a $15 million expansion of its Ballarat printing centre.

The premises will nearly double in size. The works will include a new reel store building, an existing reel store expansion to provide for more publishing operation space, a new workshop, compressor and service rooms, and awning works.

Stars in love

● Whatever happened to Jeanette MacDonald and Nelson Eddy? Kevin Trask has the story on Page 14.

Page 8 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 1, 2013

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To

Hot August Nights in Melbourne

Di Stop, smell the roses

● Ringo Starr stops and smells the roses ■ The world seems to be getting crazier and crazier each day. I find it mandatory to stop and smell the roses.

I remember once getting quite ‘antsy’ when a well-meaning friend said to me to “stop and smell the roses” and I wondered what they were talking about.

I was working like a whirling dervish and thought “Good heavens, what are they thinking telling me to do that!”

As I work harder each day and realise very much so what it exactly means, I do make sure I do indeed ‘stop and smell the roses’.

It is almost paramount these days to schedule it into my diary.

I call it ‘Me Time’– even if it’s for half an hour to go for a walk, or take a break and have a coffee by myself and look around me.

Stopping and smelling the roses is the best prescription and a gentle reminder to take a few minutes for myself each day.

It is a wonderful expression. I did a bit of homework on it, wondering what the origin and meaning of ‘stop and smell the roses’ was and where it came from.

It’s a cliché, I found out, from a wonderful article I read by a writer Angela Russell on Yahoo.

A cliché that is widely used in the United States. Some believe it dates back 100 years; however there is no documentation supporting the belief.

One particular reference suggested that it originated with an album released in the early 1980s by Ringo Starr.

The album was called Stop And Smell The Roses, however I feel the expression has been around much before Ringo recorded his album.

One reference that Angela Russell found suggested that ‘stop and smell the roses’ was used in a conversation between friends, one of whom had a beautiful rose garden.

The friend worked so diligently in the rose garden that she did not take the time to enjoy her work.

Her friend gently reminded her to stop working and experience the beauty she had created.

I for one will be making sure I make a regular practice of stopping to smell the roses on a daily basis!

I love my job!

■ Neil Diamond is a nice man.

It was so good to see him get up and donate royalties from his song Sweet Caroline to Boston Charity OneFund.

Sweet Caroline, a top five hit has been played at every Boston Red Sox home game for more than a decade.

The great man himself, Neil Diamond, got up and sang the song at the Boston Red Sox game last week in front of a very surprised audience.

Sales skyrocketed after the baseball anthem was performed live and 19,000 copies walked out of the stores and royalties went into the Boston charity.

Diamond tweeted, “Donating these royalties to #OneFund!”

The song has now become intrinsic to the healing process following the recent bombings.

Turn To Page 11

For DALAI LAMA VISITS BRAYBROOK

■ His Holiness the Dalai Lama will be giving a one-day teaching at Quang Ming Temple in Braybrook on Wednesday, June 19.

Sharing his unique message to loving kindness and to practise the good heart, His Holiness will be teaching from two well-known Tibetan Buddhist texts, the Eight Verses Of Mind Training and the Heart Sutra.

These texts represent what are called the method and wisdom of Buddhism.

The Eight Verses of Mind Training shows us how, through generating compassion, loving-kindness and altruism, we can transform our ordinary mind into attaining enlightenment. This sounds good to me.

The Heart Sutra is a concise text that brings out the essence or ‘heart’ of the Buddpha’s teachings.

It shows that through the gradual process of cultivating wisdom, we can develop our ability to cut through delusions, and understand the ultimate nature of the way in which ‘I” and all phenomena exists.

This is what is known as wisdom and together with ‘method’ it becomes the triumphant seed of our lasting happiness.

To get the basic Buddhist blueprint for happiness in just one day from one of the world’s most eminent thinkers is amazing.

In India, teachings

by His Holiness often attracts hundreds of thousands of attendees, so this is a rare opportunity to hear him teach in what will be the most intimate setting of his Australian tour in June this year in one of Melbourne’s most

with leading Melbourne publicist DI ROLLE

● His Holiness, the Dalai Lama beautiful Buddhist in association with temples. You really can Adelaide Cabaret be up close and per- Festival, Kristin sonal, as the total seat- Chenoweth will take ing capacity in the main to the stage at Arts teaching hall is just Centre Melbourne’s 1100 people, while Hamer Hall at 8pm there is space for 640 Wednesday, June 12, people to watch pro- as part of a national ceedings on a screen in tour.

Kristin Chenothe Shrine Room weth will enchant auwithin the Temple.

Don’t miss this in- diences at this once-incredible opportunity to a-lifetime concert traexperience in person versing opera, (she is a the love, wisdom and wonderful opera compassion of His Ho- singer) and the Broadway classics that have liness.

Tickets for the day made her a star.

Once seen never start at $50, but be quick – the premium forgotten, Kristin reserve seating sec- Chenoweth will be tions are either sold out stunning.

“I have never been or selling fast.

For more informa- to Australia and I am tion about the event, or so looking forward to to purchase tickets on line, visit www. heartsutra2013.org,au

it,” said Kristin, “I have heard about so many great places to visit while I am there and I am especially looking forward to meeting my fans!

“I am bringing my parents on this tour with me for their 50th wedding anniversary.

“They are so excited to see Australia and looking forward to the experience!”

Best known onstage for creating the role of Glinda in the original Broadway production of Wicked (2003), which tells the untold story of the Witches of Oz, Kristin Chenoweth is one of Broadway’s most celebrated stars.

Most recently, she starred opposite Sean Hayes from TV’s Will And Grace in the Broadway revival of Promises, Promises. to rave reviews.

Kristen Chenoweth will perform with a live band led by musical director MaryMitchell Campbell and directed by Richard Jay-Alexander.

Arts Centre Melbourne, Hamer Hall, 8pm, Wednesday June. 12.

It’s a must see.

Tickets direct from Arts Centre, Melbourne www, .artscentremelbourne. com.au

Good witch ■ There is more exciting theatre news for Melbourne.

Set to cast a spell over Australia, Glinda the Good Witch of the North, Kristin Chenoweth, is coming south for her Australian debut in June.

Presented by Arts Centre Melbourne,

● Kristin Chenoweth

● Peter Byrne appears as Neil Diamond

Aussie religion ■ A lot of people find happiness and peace at a game of football. I know my mother did. She told me in her later life that she always saw football as her religion.

Every Saturday her mother would take her to the football.

It wasn’t until later in life that she reflected that a lot of people felt the same way: that people that worked hard, saw football as their religion and it gave them a peace and a sense of rejoicing and companionship.

I can understand that, so it is with that in mind I was very pleased to hear that David Williamson’s The Club is coming back to The Athenaeum for a season this month.

David Williamson wrote a wonderful satirical play about football and follows the fortunes of an Australian Rules football club over the course of a season and explores the clashes between “human loyalties versus the materialistic gain”.

The play follows the seismic shift from Australian spirit to Australian business.

Can the proudest club in the history of Aussie Rules football survive the back room dramas and the boardroom brawls that are more ferocious than any on-field dust-up?

Football has never been played like this.

Following Hit Productions’ phenomenally successful tour of this seminal work in 20072008, one of the nation’s favourite actors, Gold Logie Award winner John Wood, returns to the role of Jock for a brand new national tour.

The Club is a tale of greed and corruption in the world of sport.

Denis Moore, who performed in the 20072008 tour, returns to the play as director.

Speaking about his forthcoming performance, John Wood says: “The Club is one of the funniest Australian plays ever written.

“In my opinion it’s got the best first-act ending line of any play, Australian or otherwise.

It makes absolutely certain the audience will be back to see act two!” he added.

“Denis Moore and I performed together in the last tour, more importantly for me, Denis directed A Stretch Of The Imagination (a 2009 Hit tour).

“I love working with Denis as a director and I’m really looking forward to working with him on this. It’ll be great fun.”

The Club will be great, Thurs., May 16 at 8pm. Fri May 17 at 11am and 8pm. Sat., May 18, at 2pm and 8pm at the wonderful Athenaeum Theatre, 188 Collins St, Melbourne.

Bookings: 9650 1500 or Ticketek 132 849 or www.ticketek.com.au - Groups and students 1300 364 001.

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 1, 2013 - Page 9

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Confidential Melbourne

Talk is cheap, gossip is priceless

RATEPAYERS SLUGGED WITH $100,000 LAWYERS’ BILLS

Bitch Melbourne’s Secrets

No stopping this Star

■ Former Hobsons Bay Mayor Tony Briffa is believed to clocked up more than $100,000 in legal expenses in a case where he has apologised.

Cr Briffa apologised after the case made its way late last month to the Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal.

Cr Briffa was taken to a Councillor Conduct Panel relating to emails he sent regarding then Mobil employee Maureen Short.

The Panel found Cr Briffa had breached the councillors code of conduct and ordered him to attend 12 months counselling and apologise to Ms Short.

“I am pleased the matter at VCAT has finally been resolved,” Cr Briffa’s website says.

“As that resolution is based on confidential terms I ask the media and community to understand that I can’t disclose or comment on them.

“I am happy with the outcome and that it is now behind us.

“I again apologise for this matter.”

Cr Briffa states: “In 2011 I was the subject of a proceeding before a Councillor Conduct Panel as a

● Cr Tony Briffa result of certain statements made by me about Ms Maureen Short.

“For personal reasons I did not attend the final hearing before the Panel. However I was represented by a representative who made submissions to the Panel on my behalf.

LETTER TO THE EDITOR:

FILE IMAGE

● Paul Thomas ■ Experts full of gloomy predictions for print media have obviously forgotten to tell Melbourne publisher Paul Thomas.

The newspaper owner based at Pakenham continues the expansion of his Star News Group.

In recent months, his company has expanded beyond the Victorian border, with takeovers of The Armidale Independent and Port Macquarie Independent titles in NSW, the Tweed Coast Weekly on the Queensland border, and the Southern Free Times in Warwick Queensland.

The Thomas family interest in newspapers started more than a century ago with the Pakenham Gazette, which they continue publishing, along with with neighbouring titles at Berwick, Pakenham and Dandenong.

For close to a decade, the Star News Group has produced titles at Footscray, Keilor, Werribee, and more recently at Melton.

Former Victoria Police Communications Director Stephen Linnell signed on as Editor in the West.

The group tried titles in the northern suburbs but retreated from publishing at Whittlesea, Wallan, Hume, Thomastown and Bundoora.

Likewise, it had a crack at the classifieds market with Star Trader, after the demise of the Melbourne Trading Post but it too closed.

The Thomas family’s publishing company bought the Geelong Independent title, which also publishes with Bellarine and Surf Coast editions.

It has a half-interest in the Yarra Valley Newspapers group, which publishes five editions from offices at Mount Evelyn and Healesville.

The Star News Group also publishes the Albury Wodonga News Weekly.

The Vexnews website published by Andrew Landeryou commented that Star News Group had a bank loan of more than $7 million, and pondered on its future. That was four years ago - and the Star Group seems to be expanding just fine.

PHONE COMPANY CHOPPED SERVICES ■ Who remembers 'Black Saturday' 2009? In Yea, the internet was down for days, mobile coverage severely limited.

When the many complaints were published, internet speeds increased.

I was able to get a decent signal from my Telstra mobile phone in places where there had been no signal before.

After the catastrophic event, these services from Telstra returned to their original abominable state.

I read later that Telstra can supply these services, but don't because there is no competition and therefore no reason to provide mobile coverage to isolated areas.

They can, they did, but they won't.

Stuart Dean, Yea

Vic. groups lose status ■ A Number of Victorian associations are set to lose their incorporated status, advises Deputy Registrar David Betts: Marilen Centre for Unity Foundation Inc.; North East Expo & Leisure Show Inc.; Forefront Ministries Inc.; Short & Sweet (Victoria) Inc.; Korean Community Soccer League Inc.; Melbourne University Horse Riding Club Inc.; Agelidis Foundation Inc.; Ararat Chinese Heritage Society Inc.; Returned War Service Veterans Community Welfare Association Inc.; Kyneton & District Heritage Association Inc.; Pink Poetry Inc.; Australia-Wuhan Business Association Inc.; Albatross German-Australian Club Inc.; Owners Corporation Network of Victoria Inc.; Wyndham Lodge Community Aged Care Inc.; Mission Impossible: (The Resource Centre) Inc.; Utes From The Bush Inc.; Lakes Entrance Art Workshop Inc.; Macedonian Performing Arts School “Bozilak” Inc.; Indigenous Community Golf (ICG) Inc.; and Mighty Khalsa Australia Inc. ● Turn To Page 12

“The Panel found that I had engaged in misconduct and directed me to apologise to Ms Maureen Short. I accepted the outcome of the Panel process and did not appeal. I also made a written apology to Ms Short. I regret that some of my statements following the Panel decision caused some people to doubt whether I had genuinely accepted the outcome of the Panel process and also caused them to doubt whether my apology to Ms Short was made in good faith.

“Those statements did not reflect the principles I should have upheld. “ I accept that, having regard to the Panel's findings and to the Councillor Conduct Principles, I should not have repeated after 25 August 25, 2011 statements that had been found by the Panel to be unsubstantiated.

“I accept the Panel decision of August 2011. Since the Panel decision I have apologised twice to Ms Short publicly on November 8, 20ll, and March 28, 2012. I again apologise unreservedly to Ms Short for any further offence or embarrassment I may have caused to her. I regret my inappropriate behaviour and I believe I have learned from it. I promise to uphold all of the Councillor Conduct Principles in future.”

Rumour Mill

Hear It Here First

To marry in New Zealand ■ Cr Tony Briffa (pictured above) claims ‘intersex’ status, and has asked fellow Hobsons Bay Councillors not to label as “him” or “her”.

“Public life and relationships are difficult when nature makes you both male and female, but I 'm not ashamed of who I am,” Briffa says on Facebook.

Briffa has lauded the Kiwi move to approve gay marriage: “I think my fiancee and I will be going to New Zealand to marry later this year.”

Too talented for short time ■ The Rumour Mill hears that executives in Gina Rinehart’s $20 billion empire are keeping a sharp eye on “the enemies within” ... the journalists employed by Fairfax Media who are using Fairfax print and digital space to criticise Mrs Rinehart, Fairfax’s largest shareholder.

Do the critics think their critical stance is sustainable? News flash!

Whispers

Rafters

● Rebecca Gibney ■ Melbourne showbiz reporter Peter Ford says the final episodes of Packed To The Rafters have been filmed. He credits this news to actor Fiona Spence.

To Court ■ Mater Christi College has an 11am appointment at Ringwood Magistrates’ Court on Friday, and is due to allege that a civil debt is owed by Cindy Davies.

New book

■ Emotions are certain to be triggered when Kath Gannaway launches historian Peter Stanley’s Black Saturday At Steels Creek book at 11am on Saturday, May 11 at the local community centre.

By George ■ Miner Clive Palmer wants to be Prime Minister.

His father, George Palmer, was founder of Melbourne radio station 3AK in 1931 at Yerrin St, Balwyn.

On board ● Gina Rinehart

E-Mail: Confidential@MelbourneObserver.com.au

■ Ross Maxted has been appointed to the Magistrates' Court of Victoria.

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Page 10 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 1, 2013

‘Never pick a fight with a man who buys ink by the barrel and paper by the ton.’

Wise words from Ben ■ Our new column, Never Pick A Fight With A Man Who Buys Ink By The BarrelAnd Paper By The Ton, has many fathers.

The quote has been variously credited to Bobby Valentine (2012), William J Greener Jnr (1978), Mark Twain (1835-) ● Benjamin Franklin and H L Mencken.

We point the credit to newspaper editor Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790). Then again, as US President Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) is credited as saying: “You can never trust anything you read on the internet.”

‘Watch AGL’, says Janette ■ Observer reader Janette Paterson likes our Telstra Testimonials page, which holds the national communications corporation to account.

We are told that the page is driving Telstra nuts.

Janette says: “Well done to the Observer for giving people the opportunity to voice their concerns, frustrations and issues with Telstra. Can you start one for AGL too?”

Yes Janette. Line them all up.

Melbourne

Observer

Ash On Wednesday

OFF THE BUSES

■ A couple of weeks ago, new Premier Dr Denis Napthine reminded Victorians about the importance of buying ‘local’.

On Friday, Dr Napthine dumped Melbourne company Ventura Bus Lines in favour of the French company, Transdev.

Ventura was started in 1924 as a one-man business at Box Hill by Harry Cornwall.

It grew to be a business with 2500 employees and 1300 vehicles, carrying more than 60 million passengers across Melbourne each year.

Public Transport Victoria awarded the contract to operate 30 per cent of the city's bus routes to French firm Transdev for the next seven years, with an option to extend for a further three years.

Transdev is a formerly part of the Veolia Group, which has links to the former Connex railway empire which was dumped by the State Government.

■ Melbourne Bus Link has also been dumped in the changeover, expected to take place from August.

Multi-million $ problems ■ ‘Barrel’ sometimes ponders how people accumulate what seems to be wonderful wealth.

The benchmark for ‘Barrel’ was when Prime Minister Paul Keating made millions for selling his share in a piggery.

Another success story that prods our curiosity is PR woman Simone Semmens, who had bought the 30-room Ed- ● Simone Semmens zell House mansion at St Georges Rd, Toorak. The property was repossessed in a Federal Police raid, over an alleged unpaid $10.6 million tax bill.

Simone had been hoping to sell another property, ‘Rosecraddock’ at Caulfield North, for $15 mil.

A $13.1 mil. buyer backed out, forcing the price to $10.6 mil. The cash was seized by Westpac.

● Harry Cornwall, Ventura Bus Lines founder

Long Shots

The Perfect Ashlar or Stone. Laid by Past Grand Master Neville Smith to commemorate Victorian Freemasons who served their country.

IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT COURT REPORTS

Freemasons are men from all walks of life; many of its members are or have been involved in the Australian Defence Force.

It is reassuring to know that the legacy of Freemasons who have paid the ultimate sacrifice never goes unnoticed or forgotten.

In almost all of the masonic buildings across Victoria there are honour rolls, showing the names of Freemasons who belonged to a particular lodge and the valiant service in which they conducted themselves for their country.

After most campaigns there have been lodges like, Vietnam Veterans Memorial Lodge, United Service, Victorian Naval and Military Lodge, Lodge Liberation, Army Lodge and Memorial Lodge formed specifically for members who have returned home, to honour the memory of the Freemasons, men and women who have died in fighting for the freedom we enjoy today.

At the headquarters of Freemasons Victoria in East Melbourne, they honour the memory of our service men and women with a Perfect Ashlar or Stone.

Laid by Past Grand Master Neville Smith in 1995 it is to remind all who enter the Grand Lodge building, that we as Australians are thankful for the service and dedication from our service men and women and their memory will always be respected and remembered by the Freemasons community.

"It's the spirit of this day that reminds me how lucky we are as a country, and how lucky I was to return safely from active service," says Justin White, Membership Manager at Freemasons Victoria.

"ANZAC Day brings the community together; it elevates mankind, while making them more human.

It is one day where we can give thanks to those courageous men and women, to honour their unselfish acts of bravery and mateship," says Justin.

The ANZAC story continues this year with many thousands of Australians and New Zealanders making a pilgrimage to the shores of Gallipoli where 2000 ANZACs would die that first day on the beaches of Gallipoli, where more than 6500 would be killed or wounded by the end of the week in the trenches, gullies and ridges up to one kilometre inland, and where eight long months of bitter fighting would follow.

More than 10,000 ANZACs would never return home to their loved ones.

Although their Gallipoli campaign would not result in victory, the remarkable bravery and courage shown by the ANZACs during that time would long be remembered.

Stories such as their fierce attack at Lone Pine where they fought their way through the logs and mud in trenches and battled with their bare hands, and reports like that of the terrible attack at the Nek where wave upon wave of ANZACs charged the Turkish lines to their certain death, would be told for generations to come.

Against all odds, the ANZACs had shown they were a force to be reckoned with.

Their Aussie sense of humour while facing death daily and their bonds of mateship would later inspire not only Australians, but people from all over the world.

We will remember them.

Contents of Court Lists are intended for information purposes only. The lists are extracted from Court Lists, as supplied to the public, by the Magistrates’ Court of Victoria, often one week prior to publication date; for current Court lists, please contact the Court. Further details of cases are available at www.magistratescourt.vic.gov.au The Melbourne Observer shall in no event accept any liability for loss or damage suffered by any person or body due to information provided. The information is provided on the basis that persons accessing it undertake responsibility for assessing the relevance and accuracy of its content. No inference of a party’s guilt or innocence should be made by publication of their name as a defendant. Court schedules may be changed at any time for any reason, including withdrawal of the action by the Plaintiff/Applicant. E&OE.

To find out more about Freemasonry, how to become a member, attend upcoming public events, or to take a tour of the Masonic Centre, please visit www.freemasonsvic.net.au or 'Like' our Facebook page, www.facebook.com/ freemasonsvic for the most up to date information.

True blue

editor@melbourneobserver.com.au

with Ash Long, Editor

Fairfax figures slide ■ The Age newspaper is thumping that its conversion to a tabloid size resulted in a 3 per cent increase in sales, for March compared with February.

The figure that you will not hear is that March sales in 2013 are 4 per cent down, compared with last year.

Fairfax Editorial director Garry Linnell said: “We couldn’t be happier with how the new papers ● Garry Linnell have been received.

“They continue to do well in surveys among both our most loyal and occasional readers.”

Mumbrella said: “According to data released by Fairfax on the afternoon before ANZAC Day, The Sydney Morning Herald’s combined Monday to Friday print and digital paid circulation was down by 17 per cent in March compared to the same time a year before.”

At the going down of the sun

Our Doors are Open!

“For the cause that lacks assistance, ‘Gainst the wrongs that need resistance For the future in the distance, And the good that we can do”

Observer Treasury ● Loretta Smith (nee Johns) ■ Former 3AW reporter Loretta Smith (nee Johns) has handed in her resignation at Sky News ... and is to become Media Manager at the Carlton Football Club.

Congratulations to the Blues.

Privacy ■ We received an unsolicited e-mail on Friday Australian Privacy Commissioner Timothy Pilgrim about Privacy Awareness Week.

We adore the irony. ● Harry Beitzel has some wonderful ANZAC Day memories in his Footy Week column on P84

Thought For The Week ■ “I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.”

- Fran Lebowitz

Observer Curmudgeon ■ “Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.”

- John Barrymore

Text For The Week ■ “"Woe to him who builds his house without righteousness and his upper rooms without justice, who uses his neighbour’s services without pay and does not give him his wages."

- Jeremiah 22:13 The Melbourne Observer is printed by Streamline Press, 155 Johnston St, Fitzroy, for the publisher, Ash Long, for Local Media Pty Ltd, ABN 67 096 680 063, of the registered office, 30 Glen Gully Road, Eltham, Distributed by All Day Distribution.

Responsibility for election and referendum comment is accepted by the Editor, Ash Long.

Copyright © 2013, Local Media Pty Ltd (ACN 096 680 063).

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au Melbourne

Observer

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 1, 2013 - Page 11

● From Page 8

News Briefs Howzat? Out!

Swim star sues ■ Grant Hackett is suing a second law firm, Nevile & Co, over what he says was a botched prenuptial agreement with wife Candice Alley. He is also taking action against Mullins Lawyers.

● Grant Hackett

■ The Observer hears of bloodletting at the Nine Network’s Wide World Of Sports department. Executive Producer of Cricket, Graham Koos, left on Friday after almost 35 years.

Lesley Tapsall, EP of Sport, also resigned after 19 years. Will a big onair name also follow?

It is rumoured that the Nine Network staff cutbacks will see the WWOS team reduced from 35 to 10.

Ken Sutcliffe seems safe. He works for the Nine News department.

Hot August Night

■ Diamond’s impromptu visit to Boston’s Fenway Park was the Boston Red Sox first game since the incident that sent shockwaves through the beautiful city.

So it didn’t surprise me when I heard that the man himself had acknowledged Peter Byrn, who is going to present in Melbourne, a re-creation of the one of the greatest live albums of all time.

Hot August Night was when he celebrates the legendary recording together with a world class 30-piece symphony orchestra.

It is over 40 years since Neil Diamond stepped on the stage at the Greek Theatre in Los Angeles with a symphony orchestra and recorded what is still known today as one of the greatest epic live albums of all time.

Now that album will be re-created in its original format in a national tour by Peter Byrne and The Australian Philharmonic Orchestra and The Sydney International Orchestra.

The show will tour through New South Wales, Victoria and Tasmania. Featuring classic songs Crunchy Granola Suite, Cherry Cherry, Sweet Caroline and I Am I Said.

The audience will see the same spontaneous display of energy and sensuality of Neil Diamond with the superb talents of Peter Byrne.

Peter’s capacity to recreate Neil Diamond to a standard that Neil himself has endorsed on many occasions hearing Peter’s tribute.

“Thanks for the great tribute.” - Neil Diamond.

It doesn’t get much better than that. Peter is a consummate performer. Each year Peter has thrilled audiences around Australia playing tributes to Hot August Night at many fabulous venues.

In 2010 he played to 4500 people at the Twilight At Taronga series with electrifying performances.

Peter recreates every song from the album just as Neil Diamond recorded it.

Peter Byrne will perform Hot August Night: The Concert in Victoria at the Frankston Performing Arts Centre, on Thursday, August 22. Tickets through www.artscentre.frankston.vic.gov.au/WhatsOn/ or phone 9784 1060,.

He will perform at Geelong Performing Arts Centre, on Friday, August 23. Tickets through www.gpac.org.au or phone 5224 1200.

Melbourne fans can see Peter at The Palms At Crown on Saturday August 24. Tickets through www.crownmelbourne.com.au/events or phone 1300 795 012.

- Di Rolle

Melbourne

Observer Life & Style

A TIME FOR FAREWELLS

■ I seem to have been been ensconced in front of the television for days, and for once I don’t have a single regret at the cost of having Foxtel installed.

We’ve had it for a few years, and every now and then we think we’ll cancel it.

But we don’t regret one cent after watching the saga of the terror of the Boston bombing unfold right before our eyes as it happened on the other side of the world.

It took me back to the night of 9/11 when Peter heard the tail end of Keith McGowan on overnight radio saying that the news breaking was unbelievable and concerning something catastrophic happening to a world famous building.

Peter immediately thought of London’s St Paul's Cathedral, Rome’s St.Peter’s Basilica or perhaps the Louvre in Paris.

He woke me and turned on the television in the bedroom. We could hardly believe our eyes.

It was one of the New York’s iconic twin towers imploding before us as we watched.

Suddenly, we saw another plane heading for the other tower on its suicide mission to destroy.

Hate knows no bounds

■ We watched in amazement and didn’t say a word to each other as the massive horror of this act of terrorism was screened.

This was America for goodness sake. Things like this just don’t happen. But hate knows no bounds.

Once again, we almost became part of the drama as the exploding bombs in Boston struck down innocent spectators and marathon runners as they approached the finishing line.

How on earth would the perpetrators of this vile and cowardly act ever be located?

But they were. And so ended a futile act of aggression.

I can’t imagine what hate in their hearts made them think they were entitled to kill in the name of religion, innocent fellow human beings.

Watched every minute

■ My head was still reeling after watching the hunt for the killers and it seemed that I was feeling more emotion as I tuned in to watch the ANZAC Day march and heard comments from those wonderful old diggers who were determined to march despite their infirmities.

It was always a very sad day in our house because my father died as a direct result of injuries he received in the Second World War. Peter and I used to brave the elements and attend the dawn service. But this year, I just couldn’t make it.

We were there in spirit no less and watched every minute of the coverage.

Yvonne’s Column

believe how incongruous it was to see fields of red opium poppies flowering next to a killing field.

There were enough poppies in this one plantation to supply most of the opium to the world and keep the underworld thriving.

That’s the futility of war.

I went to Changi prison in Singapore and was indeed fortunate to be permitted to see the chapel built by the Australian prisoners.

My microphone was not permitted, but the Commander of the prison escorted me and as we sat in this hallowed building he would answer my questions.

Men suffered unspeakable torture at the hands of the Japanese but they still came to worship in this tiny chapel.

Around the walls were dozens of framed messages such as 'in remembrance of my mate Bluey’, or ‘Ken’ or ‘Stretch ‘ and so on.

I felt that I was not alone in the chapel, and the memory will live with me forever.

with Yvonne Lawrence yvonne.lawrence@bigpond.com

Who could not be moved and shed a few tears as the cameras panned over the faces of diggers too old to march, but with their mates in their heart every step of the way?

Call to arms ■ Peter’s grandfather used to be ready for ANZAC Day a week early.

There were his boots to be brought to a mirror shine. His medals got a real going over with Brasso or whatever he used.

Somehow his uniform, although skin tight managed with a little help from Nana’s needle and thread to cover his now ample girth.

He did have photographs to show us how tall and slim he was when he went to war, singing no doubt. He was so young.

After the march, Grandpa met up with his mates, and talked about the war as they consumed more pints than was necessary.

Normally, nothing could get men to talk about the horror that they endured and indeed saw, but something happens on ANZAC day.

It’s like a call to arms all over again, but instead of a call to war, it’s a call to recall the horrors of war in their own way.

Grandpa would arrive home full of the kindred spirit to be greeted by Nana with a disapproving voice and look as she delivered the annual lecture.

What has the war in Afghanistan really achieved?

Fields of red poppies ■ I heard a commentator say that he couldn’t

Heart burst with pride ■ One of the things that I really enjoy when watching the march are the wonderful bands that keep the men in step.

But, there is nothing like the skerl of the bagpipes to make my heart burst with pride.

And as the Last Post was played, and I dried a few tears, I was grateful that I could honour our servicemen and women who did not return.

Vale Billie Karen ■ I felt another touch of sadness when I read that Billie Karen, a former 3AW personality, had died in Brisbane at aged 93.

Billie will hate that her age was revealed in the paper because she guarded it jealously. She said it was a state of mind, and she hadn’t reached the halfway years yet.

It was she and Mary Hardy who taught me that we should only ever have un-birthdays. I’ve been having them ever since. So much so I can decide what age I am depending on my mood.

It does confuse those who keep records. But it does give them a laugh when I tell them I’m not sure, and why.

I loved and respected Billie. She was one of a kind.

A great colleague and she always gave it to you straight!

On the mark ■ Billie had a wonderful sense of humour, and when the edicts came down from high, she always had a caustic remark that would have us rolling on the floor. Mind you, it was usually right on the mark.

● Billie Karen To go out to lunch with Billie and Mary Hardy was a joyful event.

Billie always told it how it was. I wonder it she was born under the sign of Sagittarius. She took no prisoners.

Bridge was her first love; much to the chagrin of her then husband Ormsby Wilkins.

But her talented children came first.

There was no drama about her divorce. She was very matter of fact, and there were no discussions around the water cooler.

Billie came on air one day and said that she had decided to wash her right arm first under the shower, and leave the left till last.

The experiment didn’t work she said because she was conditioned to washing herself the other way.

I think every woman in Melbourne tried it. I know I did. She was right. It didn’t work and you are all out of kilter for the rest of the day.

What a silly thing to remember her by when there was so much more. But that was Billie.

Heaven will be alive ■ Billie would play bridge non-stop for ever, and she was an excellent opponent. In fact, it was the game of bridge that took her away from Ormsby into the arms of her second husband.

When Ormsby died, Billie arranged everything and invited a few friends to a small reception after the funeral.

I am pleased to say that I was one and the afternoon will stay in my mind.

I loved Ormsby too, and I’m sure some of his talent with the written and spoken words rubbed off on me.

I still recall that I didn’t know that he had died, and as I read the news of his death on air that morning, it was hard not to cry. I kept back the tears until after the bulletin.

Goodbye dear Billie.

You and Ormsby will keep heaven alive with your lively conversations.

- Yvonne Contact: Editor. Melbourne Observer, P.O. Box 1278, Research, 3095

Page 12 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 1, 2013

■ I have no hesitation in saying that I am a huge fan of the films of Jeanette MacDonald and Nelson Eddy.

They starred together in film operettas and over the years their love for each other was the subject of many articles in the press.

Jeanette MacDonald was born in Philadelphia in 1903. She was the youngest of three daughters.

Her eldest sister Edith became an actress also and was known as Blossom Rock - she is well known for her role as ‘Grandmama’ in The Addams Family.

Jeanette learnt to sing and dance at an early age. In 1919 she began working in Broadway shows and over the next 10 years gradually worked her way up to lead roles in musicals and plays.

Jeanette was cast in her first leading role in the film The Love Parade in 1929 and her co-star was Maurice Chevalier.

The two songs she sang in the film, Dream Lover and March Of The Grenadiers, were recorded by His Masters Voice and became very popular throughout the world.

Jeanette was a very busy film star in the early 1930s and made another three films opposite Maurice Chevalier.

Nelson Eddy was born in Providence, Rhode Island, in 1901 and was two years older than Jeanette.

Nelson Eddy was an established opera singer before the young baritone was cast opposite

By Kevin Trask

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Whatever Happened To Jeanette MacDonald and Nelson Eddy

Jeanette MacDonald in their first film Naughty Marietta in 1935. I have heard a radio interview with Nelson where he described the first time they met and her beauty "took his breath away".

Together they introduced songs such as Ah! Sweet Mystery of Life, I'm Falling In Love With Someone, Neath The Southern Moon and Tramp, Tramp, Tramp.

Naughty Marietta won an Oscar for sound recording and received an Oscar nomination for Best Picture.

The next film for Jeanette was San Francisco with Clark Gable and Spencer Tracy but the public wanted more of the new singing team and in 1936 Jeanette and Nelson reunited

for Rose Marie. The film was based on the stage musical but their interpretation of the characters and the song Indian Love Call, which hit one million sales in 1959, was just amazing.

They made another six films together Maytime, Sweethearts, Girl Of The Golden West, New Moon, Bittersweet and I Married An Angel.

Jeanette married the famous actor and composer, Gene Raymond in 1937. In 1939, Nelson married Ann Denitz Franklin and they established a home in Brentwood, California.

Jeanette left films in 1949 and concentrated on concert tours, radio appearances and recordings.

Nelson and Jeanette both went their separate ways but did reunite for television shows including the This Is Your Life surprise show for Jeanette.

Nelson Eddy toured with the singer Gale Sherwood and came to Australia for four tours.

In their first Australian show in 1962 the season at Chequers Nightclub in Sydney was a sell out and extended by two weeks. Nelson Eddy also appeared at the Tivoli Theatre in Melbourne.

Jeanette had a weak heart and finally died in 1965. On her deathbed Jeanette was half con-

scious and asked her husband Gene Raymond to rub her feet.

Gene knew that Nelson was the only one she would ask to rub her feet and as she whispered her final words "I love you", he knew that she thought it was Nelson in the room with her.

Gene whispered back, "I love you too" she smiled and passed on at that moment. When Gene told Nelson what had happened he was inconsolable. Such was the love they shared but for some reason they never married.

Nelson Eddy died of a cerebral hemorrhage in 1967 during his night club act at the Sans Souci Hotel in Palm Beach, Florida.

There is a Jeanette MacDonald and Nelson Eddy Appreciation Society in Melbourne and I had the great pleasure of being invited to a past meeting.

Most of the members have fond memories of meeting Nelson when he toured Australia and spoke of his kindness and attention to his fans.

Thank goodness we can still enjoy their films and recordings from the golden days of Hollywood.

- Kevin Trask The Time Tunnel - with Bruce & PhilSundays at 8.20pm on 3AW That's Entertainment - 96.5FM Sundays at 12 Noon 96.5FM is streaming on the internet.

To listen, go to www.innerfm.org.au and follow the prompts.

HAVEN’T SEEN A DOCTOR IN 20 YEARS

■ Usually it is Alice Springs' alcoholic antics which I can report on, but this time it's good old Tennant.

Whenever I've driven through, I'll admit that I do see lots of drinkers in parks and on lawns, but that's not too much different to the Alice Springs situation.

However, every so often residents of local outlying communities throughout the Territory are paid a lump sum of royalties from mining companies for the ‘use’ of their land.

So, these individuals were awash with cash last week, and descended upon the Tennant Creek hotel.

Hundreds of drinkers were scattered about the town - "It was bedlam," one witness reported.

"Cars could hardly drive round for fear of running someone over - there's been a large amount of drunks and violence with a huge amount of police, working double shifts."

And, to add to the excitement, apparently a ‘girl gang’ has been running around causing mayhem.

During all this other activity they grabbed another girl and bashed and stripped her.

Just another minor incident for the police to deal with.

An eventful night in Tennant Creek.

■ Those of us who are not of a svelte and willowy persuasion, who eye the size of the trousers of our youth with wistfulness, know how Nicky Gallus feels!

She weighed 212 kg, was suffering from depression and had all but given up on life.

She experienced a minor heart attack in her hairdresser's, and was too embarrassed to seek assistance.

So, to bed that night, "waiting to die".

However, when she awoke, she found some renewed strength ("from her deceased father"), and decided a new course of action lay before her.

So, it was a final feast of everything she loved to eat - how many times have we heard that before. And have done ourselves. A quick scurry down to the chip shop for one last gorge.

However, she kept it up, lost 115 kg, no longer experiencing the verbal slings and arrows and snide remarks from the un-obese.

So what's she doing now to celebrate and hopefully help others suffering the same afflictions? She's walking from Alice to Adelaide.

The Outback Legend

with Nick Le Souef Lightning Ridge Opals 175 Flinders Lane, Melbourne Phone 9654 4444 www.opals.net.au She's hoping to do this in seven weeks to inspire others to overcome depression and obesity along the way.

Good on 'er!

■ With the year-long drama with teachers in Victoria, rolling strikes and other assorted industrial action, it's strange to hear of a group of teachers who are willing and ready to take an actual cut in pay!

This is currently happening in the NT. When I was at Sorrento State, our teachers commanded our respect.

If we misbehaved there was a visit to Mr Holman's office; a quick tickle on the hand with the trusty strap for us boys.

Upon graduation to Rosebud High, ‘Old Tom’ Hudson kept us all in fear with his ‘six of the best’.

Not in our wildest dreams would we contemplate any remonstration.

Not so these days!

In remote Central Australia teachers are so afraid of violence from the students that they are willing to accept less pay to gain some protection for themselves!

Australian Education Union

NT President Matthew Greenwich says that teachers are left to fend for themselves.

"A safety team could fly in and offer counselling and teacher support after serious assaults".

Teachers in Alice Springs and on remote communities are regularly kicked, head butted, pinched and punched by students. Some of the perpetrators are pre-teens.

I was shocked to hear of this - I can't begin to imagine the home environment that these kids grow up in.

■ I wish I had found Cassandra about six months ago.

About then my right leg began to severely pain me, almost to tears.

I've had more than a few mates who have recently had hip replacements, and I vowed that this wasn't going to happen to me.

I haven't been to a doctor for 20 years, and wasn't about to start now, Anything that's ever been wrong with me in the past I've healed with ‘alternatives’ and hocus pocus, and this wasn't going to be any different.

So, with a fierce determination, I embarked on a regime of everything I could think of - Krill oil, exercise, rubbing in various potions, and a heap of mumbo-jumbo - eating yellow foods, mysterious massages, even a colonic irrigation!

Then, voila! - six months later, back to normal.

I hadn't at this stage heard of Cassandra Stewart's Purple House in Alice, otherwise I probably would have dived right into her magic jars and, who knows, I may have found an instant cure!

She runs this traditional Aboriginal bush medicine centre, using products picked from the Outback for her mixtures.

She treats many dialysis patients who often bring herbs with them when they come into town for treatment on the machines A bit of soothing Outback balm may have done just the trick, and saved me a pang of pain or two!

■ If a 15-year-old boy was fishing in the Yarra at Templestowe, and was nearly grabbed by a crocodile, a certain degree of panic would result.

However just such a situation arose in Darwin last week in Millner Creek, just south of the city.

Dylan Mortimer was untangling

● Tennant Creek his line when his best mate Joshua his dinghy at about 8pm one evening Cawthorne wandered up next to him, recently in Gove Harbour.

A croc instantly grabbed his head and with his pit bull.

A croc must have been stalking tried to drag him under. He managed Dylan, and when the dog jumped into to fight it off and get to the dinghy, but the water just behind him, it instantly ended up with bites and scratches on his head and neck and shoulders, but ended up in the croc's jaws.

I don't like pit bulls much, but there happily he survived.

A late evening swim around Darare better ways to go than being win - not a good idea! drowned in a crocodile's jaws.

- Nick Le Souef Then there was Yoann Galeran, ‘The Outback Legend’ who decided to swim out and retrieve

Emma Ayres tells Afghan music story ■ ABC Classic FM presenter and musician Emma Ayres travelled to Kabul earlier this year to teach viola at the Afghanistan National Institute of Music in the lead up to their historic tour of the USA. Emma shared her experience in this Music Makers feature aired last Sunday (April 28).

Between September 1996 and October 2001 you could hear no music in Afghanistan. Many musicians fled and those who stayed behind buried their instruments.

Dr. Ahmad Sarmast returned to his country in 2008 and set about rebuilding Afghanistan’s music education with the Afghanistan National Institute of Music. Emma says: "In the time I was editing this documentary, 10 Afghan children were killed in a US air strike and the 25-year-old US diplomat, Anne Smedinghoff, was killed in a Taliban attack.” ● From Page 9

Victorian associations lose status ■ More Victorians associations soon to lose incorporated status are: The Bennelong Society Inc.; Probus Club of Numurkah Inc.; Camperdown Old Time Dance Club Inc.; Australian Aid Abroad Inc.; Viva Fm Inc.; The Kahlia Wilson Inc.; Warrnambool Quilters Association Inc.; Allegratay Inc.; Barwon Heads Art/Educative Association Inc.; Music to Go! Inc.; Melbourne Mardi Gras Group Inc.; Timbarra Kindergarten Committee of Management Inc.; Hawthorn Recreation Centre Squash Club Inc.; Greenhill Fly Fishers Club Ararat Inc.; Swami Jagannath Hindu Centre of Australia Inc.; Stewarts Lane Kindergarten Inc.; Bendigo Anglican Diocesan Historical Society Inc.; Croydon Baptist Church Inc.; Unison Associated Inc.; The Ladies Probus Club of Box Hill Inc.; Boort T.O.W.N Club; Bellerive Adult Riding Club Inc.; Bariak Peace Foundation Inc.; Courage Inc.; Bailey Park Eastmoor Cricket Club Inc.; Egyptian Television Group Inc.; Meniere’s Support Group of Victoria Inc.; Castlemaine Maryborough and District Poultry Club Inc.; and Yarra Resident’s Coalition Inc.

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 1, 2013 - Page 13

Victoria Pictorial

Historic Photo Collection

● Russell Street, Melbourne. Circa 1956.

● Collins St, west end. Circa 1956.

● Government House entrance gates

● Swanston Street, Melbourne

● Bourke St, from Parliament House steps

● Panorama from Flinders Street Station

● Elizabeth St, City. Circa 1955

● Flinders Street, City

Page 14 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 1, 2013

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Telstra Testimonials Send your contribution to editor@MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne

Observer

● ‘Telstra testimonials’ is a weekly section of the Melbourne Observer, where we hold the national communications company to account.

Australians are sick and tired of breakdowns, and a poor service attitude.

Every week we send a copy of the Melbourne Observer to David Thodey, CEO of Telstra, Locked Bag 5639, Melbourne, Vic 3001. He and his staff are always welcome to comment on, and fix, the complaints

‘Defies belief’ ■ Lee Vallance wrote: “Just want to put on here what an absolutely disgracefully service you have provided to us this past four weeks.

“We have recently moved house and all we wanted was to transfer our existing service to our new place.

“I have lost count the amount of calls we have made to your many under trained and incompetent staff in the Philippines.

“One even told me, from Manila, the reason for our problems was because we live in a flood area and its currently flooded.

“I stood here in glorious sunshine and the safe knowledge that we have had no flood since January.

“I then moved onto the Australian complaints branch whose tactic is to just promise you the service will work tomorrow, day after day after day until you stop bothering them.

“Don't fob us off with promises you have no intention of keeping!

“Then today to top it off you had arranged a technician to visit for the second time to check the line with yet another promise of it being fixed today, only for him not to show up at all with no courtesy call to warn us of the no show!

“Are Bigpond going to pay for the time off work I had today waiting in vain for him?

“When we called to ask what was going on, we were told he was too busy and can't make it today and then to rub salt in the wound told we have to wait another two weeks to have him visit again!

“WTF ... how about ‘sorry you had to take the day of work for a no show but he was really busy today but we will get him to you tomorrow’!

“Why do I now have to wait for another two weeks to get him here?

“Is there just one guy servicing the Gladstone region? Is he on annual leave? It's the cherry on the cake of an appalling service experience from top to bottom.

“It’s 2013 and we have in Bigpond the largest internet provider in Australia and are a socalled technology power house who are so bureaucratic and riddled with in-house politics and procedures that you can not transfer a internet service from one phone line to another! Take a bow ... you defy belief!”

Call answered

Communication ■ Romany Smith asks Telstra: “Do you think it might be a good idea to notify residents when you plan to be laying cable in their neighbourhood from 10pm to 4am?”

Promises

How long?

Put on hold

● James Howe ■ Telstra Media Relations staffer James Howe made contact with the Observer: “I saw the articles in last week’s Melbourne Observer and firstly wanted to reach out and offer assistance where possible.

“It certainly sounds like you had a bad run and I apologise for that, however I am happy to help with any problems you may have.

“It is sad to see the complaints from customers of times where we have let them down.

“The directive from David Thodey down has been one of putting the customer at the centre of everything we do.

“We know we have a history of bureaucracy and to turn this ship will take some time.

“We are starting to see improvements but, as evidenced by the feedback from your readers, there is still much work to do.

“I am happy to follow up on customer issues if, through yourself, they are happy to provide details.”

Weak service at Bittern ■ Rachel Rowe wrote: “Are there problems with towers around Bittern (Mornintgton Peninsula area)? “(I) have noticed there has been a big drop in reception quality and black spots with drop outs lately.

“The signal used to be excellent. I have an iphone5, hubby has iPhone 3GS, and we both have noticed it.

“What used to be near full signal is now weak and sometimes no signal! Bit disappointed.

“Have been feeling like the Mornington Peninsula is neglected by Telstra lately!

“We are with a Telstra wholesale supplier internode and our landline has also just died. There is no dial tone (apparently remote testing has shown no fault found) so we have had to organise a tech which is scheduled but had to wait over a week!

“Pretty long time to wait especially seeing as I'm a web designer and need the internet for work.

“This is about the third or fourth time we have had a fault (other times have had static or weak dial tone, this is first for no dial tone).

“Getting frustrated as I feel corners are being cut and things are just getting patched up instead of properly fixed.”

■ Anand Jayaraman said: “Can someone please advise of how to get in touch with a manager or genuine supervisor?

“I have just been placed on muted hold by Rik D608322 from "Billing" who was most patronising and rude.

“I have over six hours of recorded disgraceful customer service calls.

“I came so close to getting my issues resolved ... to only be passed on to Rik - who said " you can take your recordings to the TIO (Telecommunications Industry Ombudsman), they won't be able to help you".

“FYI - I am still on muted hold for 23 minutes now ... to add to the other six hours of recordings.

“This is the kind of service and experience that causes Telstra to not only lose customers, but give them a disgraceful name.”

Supervisor not available ■ Anand Jayaraman continues: “Having once represented Telstra many years ago, such service was unheard of.

“The consultant Rik, just picked up and said he can't find the supervisor and asking me to call back.

“Such staff should not be in customer contact, let alone working for Telstra.

“I have lodged a complaint back on the March 23 and was given a reference number, to only be told on April 17 that it was still sitting there unassigned.

“After 5 years of being a Telstra customer and ex staff. I really don't have the energy for this.

“Please help and advise whom can actually help me and may want to listen to my recordings 'for coaching purpose'!

“Please note - I have told all consultants and/or supervisors up front that I am recording the call due the extremely poor handling of recent experience. I am guessing none of them believed me.

“Rik is now saying that his supervisor is in an executive meeting and he has been advised to schedule a call back. Please help!

I am pulling my hair out!”

Stop billing me ■ Jude Mulhuijsen wrote: “I cancelled my internet account on February 7 but am still getting invoices each month and would like it to be stopped and reimbursed.”

‘Unhelpful’ ■ Kalynda Madge said: “Every single day since we signed up, our internet service has been a joke.

Internet cuts in and out every day.

Please advise of a phone number that we can call to speak to someone higher up about this matter. Your call centre is extremely unhelpful.”

● Declan Baker, as pictured on Facebook ■ Declan Baker wrote: “Hi Telstra. Is it your standard form to promise customers service within three days, make them wait at home for four hours for a technician that doesn’t arrive, call them to say the technician hasn’t been and advise that the appointment needs to be rescheduled for some four weeks later?

“That’s exactly what you did to me today!”

Slow service ■ Lachlan Kidd said: “Your 4G is slower than dial up and I won’t be paying for Telstra’s screw-up regarding You Tube downloading data then having to buffer and re-download all over again.”

‘Over it’ ■ Sharon Eagles told Telstra: “Do the right thing and cancel the contract. Over it.”

Breakdown ■ Olivera La Torre said: “Isn't amazing you can provide a world class 4G network but cannot retrieve a call for the purposes of verifying what your consultants say!”

■ Felipe Alexandre N. Santos wrote on Wednesay: “No phone line and consequently no ADSL+ (no internet) since Friday morning ... how much longer to have everything fixed?”

No ‘log-in’ ■ Vanessa Kelly wrote: “How much longer till I can log on. Have been trying for 24 hours now and keep getting that you are experiencing technical difficulties ... ??”

‘Very angry’ ■ Louise Starr wrote: “I called your number in concerns of a lost phone and requested for the phone device and sim to be blocked.

“However, since the call to some Indian woman who confirmed that she had blocked both the phone and Sim “I can still call my phone and it continues to ring and shows no sign of the Sim or phone being blocked.

“I am going to be very angry if the phone was never blocked and the thieves take full advantage of my phone.

“Please tell me who I can actually talk to for the phone to get blocked/locked.”

Put on hold

Wait for an hour ■ Michael Hoogland said: “Hey Telstra, I'm back ... just call a callback from your Mumbai office, only to stay on the phone for another freaking hour to be told the same thing that I was told last Thursday night!

“Except now it’s apparently a Telstra computer glitch but you can't fix it for another two weeks!

“Piss weak service guys, if you weren't the only phone carrier where I live I'd be looking elsewhere now.”

No call backs ■ Michael Rihma said: “I wrote sometime ago a(about) my three day call back that took over three weeks.

“Someone did call me and said they will call me back as they needed to look into things further - guess what?

“Three weeks again later and no call back, it was someone from your customer complaints team. Please assist.”

No connection ■ David Bishop asked Telstra: “Just wondering do you guys do any work? If so why has it taken 13 weeks and counting for us to still have no internet?”

These are all real stories. Customer ‘feedback’ sourced from Telstra’s 24/7 page on Facebook

● Aaron Luxmoore waited for more than 1 hour, 14 mins ■ Aaron Luxmoore said: “On the phone for one hour and 14 minutes.

(See pic) “Passed on to five different apartments to try to find out why my SIM card on my iPad wasn't working.

“You were sending my bill to an address from five years ago.

“And still the problem is not fixed!

Not impressed at all.”

Got a complaint about Telstra? E-mail to editor@ melbourneobserver.com.au or mail to PO Box 1278, Research, Vic 3095