Melbourne Observer. 120606A. June 6, 2012. Part A. Pages 1-25, Pages 56-62

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LONG LIVE THE QUEEN

ANNIE: ALL THE GLAMOUR Pages 64-65

PHILIP HEART TESTS

LOCAL THEATRE LATEST

■ Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens) signs autographs outside the world premiere performance of Moonshadow at the Princess Theatre. Looking on are Observer Editor Ash Long and publicist Angela Ceberano.

Photo: Jim Lee

■ Melburnians are preparing for the Queen’s Birthday Holiday weekend, part of the celebrations surrounding the monarch’s 60 years on the throne.

A Best of British - Diamond Jubilee Celebration Concert is being held on Saturday June 16 at 7.30pm in the Melbourne Town Hall. This is a fundraising concert for the School of Hard Knocks Foundation.

■ Mike McColl Jones takes a comic look at the top five highlights of the Diamond Jubillee. Page 3.

Page 11

FRAUDSTER WINS APPEAL Page 3

PHOTO: MALCOLM THREADGOLD

RADIO ACTIVE

■ Cast members of Moonshadow are pictured with Yusuf Islam at the aftershow party held at the Sofitel Melbourne on Collins.

Photo: Ash Long Melbourne

Observer ISSN 1447 4611

WIN! WIN! WIN! NEW GOLDEN DAYS RADIO CD

■ Popular 88.3 Southern FM producer and presenter Terri Adams, is recovering from a 2½-hour operation late last week.

The mishap occurred as Terri held the lead for dog Beau who suddenly headed for the beach, causing Terri to fall. Terri and her doctors are confident that time spent in rehabilitation will soon get her arm back in working order again.

TED RYAN’S RACING REPORT - PAGE 75

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 6, 2012 - Page 3

Breaking News

It’s All About You!

Melbourne

FRAUDSTER CONVINCES JUDGES Observer TO DISCOUNT HIS JAIL SENTENCE In This 80-Page Edition

Queen’s Birthday Holiday Weekend Publishing Arrangements The Melbourne Observer will be published as normal next week on Wednesday, June 13. Our office will be closed on the Monday public holiday (June 11). Our booking and copy deadline is 5pm Friday (June 8).

Reasons To Be Pretty

● Eleanor Howlett, Johnny McNamara, Rebecca Denny and Paul Denny can be seen at Theatre Works until June 17.

Photo: Sarah Walker ■ Square Peg Productions presents Neil Johnny McNamara is perfectly cast as imLaBute’s romantic drama Reasons To Be age-conscious, two-timing Kent and Eleanor Pretty until June 17 at Theatre Works, 14 Howlett is endearingly sincere as Carly.

Acland St, St Kilda.

LaBute is said to be questioning “how The work is part of LaBute’s Beauty much is pretty worth?” in this play. At times Plays, written over a 10-year period as a so- more deep-seated problems overtake the cial commentary on our culture’s fixation with theme of obsession with beauty, but it always physical attractiveness. re-surfaces as an artificial, thinly veneered The other plays include Fat Pig and The catalyst.

Shape of Things. The over-riding theme of The quality performers and creative team obsession with good-looks is apparent from assembled by Square Peg Productions indithe play’s beginning, eventually becoming the cate that this is an exciting new company to catalyst for hairdresser Steph leaving her boy- watch out for in the future. friend of four years, warehouse packer, Greg.

Reasons To Be Pretty is the company’s first Newly single Greg spends time with mar- show - may there be many more. ried friends, co-worker Kent and security ofDate: Until June 17. ficer Carly, who have their own set of issues Time: Wed to Sat 8pm, Sun June 10 at linked to “looking pretty”.

Under Eddy Segal’s direction, LaBute’s 6.30pm Venue: Theatre Works, 14 Acland Street, perceptive and witty dialogue is skilfuly presented in a naturalistic style so casually deliv- St Kilda.

Price: $32 full / $27 conc / $25 groups 10+ ered that at times an audience presence seems intrusive as personal situations unfold. Paul plus booking Bookings: 9534 3388 or www.theatreworks.

Denny gives a superb performance as easygoing, tolerant Greg and Rebecca Denny de- org.au - Review by Cheryl Threadgold ights as feisty yet fragile, Steph.

Mike McColl Jones

Top 5 THE TOP 5 HIGHLIGHTS OF THE QUEEN'S DIAMOND ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION 5. London is all spruced up. Even Big Ben has been on a diet he's now known as Splendidly Proportioned Benjamin.

4. A seven-second delay has been attached to Prince Philip's voice-box.

3. The London Council has given the Thames a huge enema.

2. Camilla has been specially groomed - and she has a new float.

1. A very special "E.R Squad" has been formed to look after the Corgis. (E.R - Excrement Remover).

■ Fraudster Nik Eagles, convicted of 59 dishonesty counts, has had his jail sentence reduced from 7 years 10 months to 5 years 10 months by Court of Apeal Judges Neave, Harper and Hollingworth.

The self-employed sole director of Eagles Multicorp Pty Ltd, specialising in IT consulting, property and transport, apealed that it was six years between offending and sentencing.

The Court of Appeal heard Eagles supplied a falsified ANZ bank statement to the CBA to gain a $60,500 loan to purchase property in Thornbury. He made 10 repayments,seven bounced.

He made up a story that he had been given $280,000 as a gift, to obtain a $1.3 million loan from CBA to buy four vacant blocks in Northcote.

Eagles used a magnetic stripe card reader to use numbers from credit cards belonging to other people. He placed other people’s data onto his own 12 cards, so purchases totalling $149,205 would be charged to other people’s accounts.

Eagles used fake driver’s licence and birth certificate in the name of Peter Anderson to open an account with St George Bank, Chadstone. ● Turn to Page 9

Mark Richardson: Straight From Heart .... Page 4 Melbourne People: In The Picture .......... Page 6 News: Toe the line, podiatrist told ........ Page 9 Di Rolle: Clint Eastwood’s day is made .. Page 10 Melb. Confidential: Philip’s heart tests ... Page 11 Long Shots: Who named Molly? .......... Page 12 People Pix: Moonshadow opens ...... Pages 13-14 Yvonne: Sunday morning in bed .......... Page 15 Extra: Rita Hayworth profile ............... Page 16 Readers Club: Birthday cake recipe ..... Page 18 Travel and Wine: David Ellis reports ...... Page 55 Jim Sherlock Aaron Rourke Cheryl Threadgold Julie Houghton

Observer Showbiz

Latest News Flashes Around Victoria

$750 fine for road rage ■ Bad tampered driver Anthony Kukuljan, 40, of Moonee Ponds, pleaded guilty in Geelong Magistrates' Court to charges of criminal damage and unlawful assault. He was fined $750.

Bail denied at Ballarat ■ Homeless man DarrenWalsh, 46, who allegedly stabbed a Ballarat fisherman in the chest with a hunting knife and told Police to shoot him, was this week denied bail at Ballarat Magistrates Court.

■ Today’s weather: Min 8. Max 14. Possible afternoon shower. Partly cloudy.

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Mark Richardson ♥ Straight from the heart

E-Mail: mark@localmedia.com.au

ON THE PRODUCTION OF MONSTERS ■ When I first met Robert Reid in 2010 we worked on a magazine together.

Our writing styles were somewhat different, yet what stood out most to me about Robert's penmanship, I simply couldn't stop reading any of his articles.

Robert was the editor and he had a flair for directing simplicity through the channels of complexity and returning his audience with clever wit and simple charm. Robert is one wordsmith I admire.

When the magazine was in the hands of the printers, Robert talked about the plays he was writing. He didn't disclose much about their stories or content, but I believed by listening to his passion mixed with his quirky sense of humour and the 'snippets' he did share, I would see Robert's name up in lights as a playwright.

Following the success of his first play commissioned last year by The Melbourne Theatre Company, The Joy of Text, Robert's latest play On the Production of Monsters only took him two weeks to write - and four years to redraft.

Robert's story explores what happens when you end up on the wrong side of the media.

Actors Virginia Gay and James Saunders play nine characters between them in the play. The story centres around an everyday couple in Melbourne, Ben and Shari; who find themselves in the centre of a nation-

wide child pornography scandal following an innocent interview with a local newspaper on an unrelated issue that is spearheaded by an inquisitive reporter.

Avoiding the media spotlight and reading reviews about his work is becoming harder for Robert to avoid these days, and to add to the media hype, I caught up with him following opening night at the Lawler Theatre in Melbourne.

Editing and writing magazines aside, when did you first start writing plays?

I've been a playwright since I was about 16, writing sketches for my friends at high school and involved in my local community theatre company.

I worked with the student theatre at La Trobe University during my undergraduate studies and went on to the Victorian College of the Arts to study directing. I also launched an independent theatre company; Theatre In Decay, in 2000. I've been working in the theatre ever since.

The play was inspired by the email invitation and handling of the Bill Henson scandal in 2008. The email caused a media frenzy and community outrage when his work featured young nude girls that were initially condemned as being child pornography.

The photographs were investigated and declared to have a 'PG' rating by the Australian Classifica-

WRITER’S PORCH THOUGHTS

● Robert Reid tion Board. Why did this strike a chord with you?

The debate that surrounded those images is an important one and a potentially very destructive one, the handling of that debate was nothing short of irresponsible.

Do you think Bill Henson's photo scandal deserved the media attention it received?

No. The suggestion that the images in the Henson collection were anything other than art would be laughable if it weren't so sad. Furthermore, to suggest that child pornography is held in the national galleries and sells for hundreds of thousands of dollars I think demonstrates a profound misunderstanding of what child pornography is.

Describe the feeling of receiving the call when that the MTC commissioned your play?

It's always a bit of a surprise. I never really expect anyone to commission my work. So it's always a bit stunning when they do.

Your first play, The Joy of Text was also commissioned by the MTC and performed last year, did this help you to write or change any part of this play?

I wrote On The Production Of Monsters' before I wrote The Joy of Text. In fact, reading this play is what convinced the MTC to offer me the first commission that would become The Joy of Text.

What is the process of writing a play from handing over the script to seeing it performed live on a stage?

You stage readings to get audience feedback. You take the draft around to theatre companies and festivals until someone says, "Okay, let's put it on."

● James Saunders and Virginia Gay Photos Jodie Hutchinson Clare Watson is making her de- gest 'real-life' media scandal in Ausbut as a Director for 'On the Pro- tralia of recent times?

Ricky Nixon was probably the duction of Monsters', how do you think she connected with the story most recent really big nonsense media circus. Other things have been and brought it to life?

Clare is an old friend from the in- contentious, but as for media scandependent theatre days. She's a dals, where the media were more bright, energetic, a sharp thinker and player than reporter - the handling of brought a great sense of atmosphere the violence against women in footand emotional intensity on stage. She ball in all its aspects - has been was across the script from the be- appallingly handled.

You are gaining quite of bit of ginning and had a very clear vision media attention yourself, is there for how it would end up.

Actors Virginia Gay and James anything you have read about yourSaunders play nine characters in self that you disagree with?

No, no one is interested in me so the play. Did this challenge you as a much as my work - which is the writer?

Not at all. I wanted each scene way it should be. I'm not anyone speto be played by the same two actors cial or even very interesting. I just from the start so all I had to do make have things I've thought about and sure that at some point in the scene, things I want to say.

In reviews I have read, your writthe audience could figure out where they were and who they were listen- ing has been described as humorous, witty and intelligent. What is ing to.

How do you think nine roles your favourite line in the play and why? challenged Virginia and James?

"The things we do to our children, Virginia kept saying, "It's a lot of words." They're super talented per- hey." It's about the silly names we formers and they handle the charac- give our children some times, but it also neatly sums up the whole issue. ter changes effortlessly.

What's the best comment you After seeing your play performed live on stage, is there any have heard about your play?

That it makes you laugh and the part of the story that you wish could have written more about or change makes you think about why you laughed. in anyway?

How do you deal with negative Personally I feel like I got it pretty right in the end. There are some who comments?

I consider them and if they reveal have said they wanted the story to keep going, that it ends too abruptly, something I haven't seen before, then but I tend to think its better to leave I take them on board.

What is your Porch Thought of the audience wanting more.

You don't hold back and take The Day? quite a few swipes at society's men- There's three kinds of people in the tality and challenge our morality world, those who count and those and way of thinking, what message who don't.

On The Production Of Monsters do you hope the audience leaves is playing until June 9 at the with?

Melbourne Theatre Company.

Think before you speak.

- Mark Richardson What do you think is the big-

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Page 6 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 6, 2012

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People Melbourne

■ Observer columnist Mark Richardson is pictured being interviewed by Yvonne Lawrence on her 3WBCFM radio program. Mark addressed a Northcote Town Hall gathering on Saturday, with a talk titled ‘This Is Me’.

Send news to editor@melbourneobserver.com.au

Fax: 1-800 231 312

Smashing night for Andrew

Technicolour party staged ■ Collingwood advertising agency chief Stasia Raft held a Technicolour Block Party on Friday, and is pictured with Matthew Anderson, head of Chadwick Models in Melbourne.

Stasia and husband Edward Commons operate the RAFT boutique agency, and assembled a quality guest list for the special event, where guests were invited to let their imaginations run wild with colourful clothing. More on Page 17.

Touring

Jane talks ■ Melbour ne radio man Simon Owens has recorded a special interview with Jane Kennedy.

The chat with Jane, whose own radio career dates back to 3UZ and EON-FM (MMM), may be heard at melradcast. com Other interviewees include Judith Durham, Toni Lamond, John Waters, Issi Dye and Missy Higgins.

■ An air of euphoria surrounded Melbourne entertainment promoter Andrew McManus as he offered a spirited greeting to Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens/Steven Demetre Georgiou) with an affectionate kiss to the forehead, at the opening of Moonshadow at the Princess Theatre. Mrs Islam (Fauzia Mubarak Ali) looks on.

McManus told the Melbourne Observer that he had fostered fund-raising for the world premiere of the show that includes 40 Cat Stevens hits.

McManus continued to toast the show at the merry after-party where he soaked in the atmosphere of the Sofitel ballroom, and enthusiastically enjoyed the company of celebrities including Rhonda Burchmore, and Kate Neilson (below)

● Jane Kennedy

■ Melbourne comedian Marty Fields travelled to Darwin at the weekend for a performance. Up on the Friday, back on the Saturday.

■ It was almost a carbon copy of the travels by MyMP host Eddie Olek, who assisted with the SEN 1116 footy broadcasts.

■ TV couple Wendy and Dennis Rawady have retired to Puerto Vallarta (Love Boat territory) in Mexico.

Birthday trip to Canada ■ Popular Melbourne showbiz couple Jackie and Pete Smith were at the Regent Theatre in Collins St for the opening night of Annie The Musical.

It was Pete’s 73rd birthday, and he celebrated with a choc-top ice cream ... and next morning boarded a plane for a holiday in Canada.

Pete started his show business career at the ABC, moving across to GTV-9 where he worked along personalities including Graham Kennedy, Don Lane and Ernie Sigley.

● Melbourne Observer Editor Ash Long with actress Kate Neilson

Kate is Hollywood-bound ■ Melbourne’s Kate Neilson is to further her acting career with 4½-weeks of training in Hollywood next month. Kate has been working on the new film, Pinball, which features Mark ‘Chopper’ Read and John Jarratt. Brothers Matt and Trevor Holcomb tell the story of an ex-AFL footballer Clint Thorp played by Kevin Kiernan-Molloy. Alan Finney is Consulting Producer.

■ Melbourne couple Helen and Lawrence Money are set to enjoy an extended holiday in Tasmania ... Channel 10 news anchor Mal Walden will be enjoying a three-week holiday in the UK during the Olymp;ic Games. His wife Pauline will spend an extra three weeks in Italy.

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p +61 7 5492 666 free ph 1800 068 798 e info@norfolks.com.au www.norfolks.com.au 32 Queen of Colonies Parade, Moffat Beach, Caloundra, Qld

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Travel Extra Places To Go

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Showbiz News

SCRUBBERS AT STRATHMORE Briefs Cannabis

■ Dimboola fatherof-seven, Mark Chant, 46, who grew his own cannabis told Police he did it to save money. He was placed on a 12-month good behaviour bond, with conviction, and ordered him to pay $250 to the Horsham Court fund.

Goes free ■ A 15-year-old boy who admits intentionally starting a $4.6 million fire at a school in Melbourne’s west has been released without conviction.

979 claim ■ Melton radio 979 FM is investigating claims of bullying and intimidation by one of its members.

Ice found

■ Two men - Ho Pham, 47, of Sunshine, and Ngoc-Dinh Nguyen, 51, of Footscray - charged over a large amount of the drug''ice' found in a car at Holbrook are opposing applications

by Police for forensic procedures on them.

● The Scrubbers, from left Helen Wentworth, Theresa Brancatisano, Margaret Rawlinson, Michelle Tanner and Francesca Ferra-Macri rehearse in their tea-room.

Photo: Anita Fox ■ Strathmore Theatrical Arts Group’s (STAG) latest show, Scrubbers, is playing at the Strathmore Community Centre, Cnr Loeman and Napier Sts, balance the women’s stories, but are inspirational and Strathmore until June 9.

This heart-warming musical play is written and di- worthy of being enjoyed on a much broader scale.

Helen, Margaret, Michelle, Theresa and Francesca rected by Melbourne’s Cenarth Fox. The story tells of five female cleaners whose lives are all good singers whose heartfelt performances capchange when they come up with an ingenious idea in- ture the poignancy of their individual problems and transformations into spirited, confident entertainers. volving entertaining, cleaning and cakes.

Margaret Rawlinson has done great work choreoThe delightfully diverse characters, to be known as The Scrubbers, are well-portrayed by Helen Wentworth graphing the routines and delivers comedy with excel(Dee), Margaret Rawlinson (Mo), Michelle Tanner lent timing.

Set designer Tony Leatch’s drab tea-room set, the (Liz), Theresa Brancatisano (Chrissie) and Francesca Scrubbers’ “home away from home”, contrasts well Ferra-Macri (Helly).

A strong point for me in this show is multi-talented with the colourful, sparkling performances in Act Two. This happy, enjoyable show deserves full houses. It Cenarth Fox’s terrific lyrics and music.

The songs should be acknowledged in the program can be seen until June 9 at the Strathmore Community and deserve to be enjoyed by audiences beyond this Centre.

Tickets are $20 full price, $15 concession and can show.

The positive, thought-provoking lyrics to toe-tapping be booked by calling 9382 6284.

- Review by Cheryl Threadgold tunes convey goodwill messages that not only counter-

Observer Review

‘TOE THE LINE’, PODIATRIST TOLD

■ Victorian podiatrist Buddhika Egodagamage has been reprimanded after admitting over-billing on 24 occasions.

Egodagamage said he doubleswiped Medibank cards, effectively claiming twice for one consultation.

He told the Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal that he took this action to recover the billing ‘gap’ for his patients.

VCAT members A Dea, E

Hughes and J Walsh found this behaviour amounted to professional misconduct.

He said three of the instances were clerical errors. Egodagamage received a benefit of about $600-$700.

Egodagamage will be permitted to practise, but must undertake education on ethics, record keeping and management.

Six-monthly audits will be conducted on his accounts.

Fraudster receives jail term discount ● From Page 3 ■ The Court of Appeal heard that Nik Eagles hired a car from ‘Europcars’ using the fake Victorian driver’s licence in the name of Peter Anderson, and with a credit card that did not belong to him. The financial advantage ontained was $1312.

Jewellery worth $2099 and $4432 was purchased from two stores at Northland, in the name of A.Loleng. Alcohol worth $853 was purchased at a shop in Thornbury.

Computer and camera goods worth $3802 were obtained from a store at Coburg. Computer gods worth $8163 were obtained from a Preston store, in the name of W. Cody.

Other purchases involved van refrigeration worth $36,960, home theatre equipment worth $7199, clothing priced at $3998 The Judges were told that Police interviewed Eagles when Customs found numerous items including laptops, computer equipment, a magnetic stripe card reader/writer, a card skimmer, and drivers’ licences.

Drug paraphernalia was found, and Eagles was charged with possessing and trafficking amphetamines. He received a wholly suspended 2½-years jail term for these offences. He had spent 56 days in custody.

At his original sentencing, the prosecution argued that Eagles’s ofences occured over a substantial period of time, and required planning skill and sophistication.

At the plea hearing last year, it was said that Eagles had no assets or ability to pay restitution, was boarding with his sister, and casually drove trucks for his brothers.

County Court Judge Parsons said that paying back money to people who you had defrauded “is a pretty useful indicator of remorse”.

“In settling a new non-parole period, we would give greater weight to the question of rehabilitation than the sentencing judge did,” the Court of Appeal judges said.

They acknowledged that Eagles had a long criminal history with 93 convictions from 17 appearances between 1989 and 2003, for theft, firearm, criminal damage and drug offences.

This Week’s Competition

CD COMPETITION: WIN GOLDEN DAYS RADIO No 3 The Melbourne Observer has FIVE copies of the newly released Golden Memories No 3 CD. To enter this competition, complete the details on the form below, and post it - so it will reach us by first mail, Monday, June 18, 2012.

Winners’ details will be published in the Melbourne Observer on Wednesday, June 20, 2012. Prizes will be mailed to winners.

Melbourne Observations with Matt Bissett-Johnson

To enter, post to Golden Days Radio Comp.

Melbourne Observer PO Box 1278, Research Vic 3095 to reach us by first mail, Mon., June 18, 2012

TELL US YOUR BIRTHDAY DAY MONTH (notYEAR compulsory)

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To

It’s all Hunky Dory

Di ‘Going Dutch’ ■ I went to lunch with a friend and when paying the bill we said to the waiter “we are Going Dutch!’.

The waiter looked at me as if I was speaking another language, and asked “What is that? You mean splitting the bill?”

Yes, I repliedd. It got me to thinking what a strange expression it is and what does it mean exactly !

‘Going Dutch’ is a term that indicates that each person participating in a group activity pays for herself or himself, rather than any one person paying for anyone else, particularly in a restaurant bill.

It is also called a Dutch date, Dutch treat or Going Dutch.

The phrase ‘Going Dutch” originates from the concept of a Dutch door. I would never have thought this.

Previously on farmhouses this consisted of two equal parts. Another school of thought is that it may be related to Dutch etiquette.

In the Netherlands, it was not unusual to pay separately when going out as a group.

Restaurants generally hate this I have found.

When dating in a one-on-one situation, however, the man will most commonly pay for meals and drinks.

This doesn’t happen in Australia to the best of my knowledge. So many men in my experience want to go Dutch!

Not very romantic! Hence my being single!

English rivalry with the Netherlands, especially during the period of the Anglo-Dutch Wars, gave rise to several phrases including Dutch that promote certain negative stereotypes.

Hence the term: ‘Dutch courage’.

I love my job!

■ Congratulations to my local fish and chip shop, Hunky Dory. I think they have wonderful fish and Nova 100 listeners obviously thought so too The listeners voted Hunky Dory as the best fish and chip shop in Melbourne! Located in Port Melbourne, and also at 670 Chapel St, South Yarra, they are well worth a visit.

I even investigated their website to see what they have on line: www.hunkydory.com.au I have often seen lots of footballers eating up big serves of fish and rice and salad. It’s allery healthy and all fresh. And the food is great too!

For DINA MAKES CLINT’S DAY

■ One man I would have thought would have paid for dinner on a date in a big way is actor/director Clint Eastwood.

I was surprised to hear that he has entered reality television.

I would not have envisaged him going into reality television but alas he has.

Well, his wife has and apparently he appears in a couple of episodes.

Mrs Eastwood, formerly Dina Ruiz, is a beautiful woman, she is an American reporter and former TV news anchor.

In 1990 Dina was hired as a reporter and eventually a news anchor for KNAZ-TV in Arizona.

She moved on to anchor the news service and to other TV stations.

She met her future husband Clint Eastwood when sent on an assignment to interview and I have seen that interview many

with leading Melbourne publicist DI ROLLE

● Dina and Clint Eastwood times on documenta- cember 12, 1996. ries and the attraction This year she bewas instant and mu- gan starring in a realtual and quite lovely. \ ity television series I believe that they about her life, Mrs have been inseparable Eastwood & Company, since that day. on the E! Network.

They married on I am not sure when March 31, 1996, in it starts in Australia, Las Vegas when Clint however she is pretty Eastwood surprised full on, glamorous and her with a private cer- has a smile to die for. emony at a home on I think it will be fun. the Shadow Creek When she and Clint Golf Course, as you bought the house they do. live in, they inherited The couple has one the housekeeper who daughter, Morgan worked in the house Eastwood, born De- previously.

Shaun’s ‘Kick-Ass’ Party on June 15 ■ I was so touched by Shaun Miller’s passing, having seen him on The Footy Show and watching his YouTube message.

It was sad that just two days after announcing ‘Shaun’s Kick Ass Party’, an event that would fulfil one of his final wishes, the 17-year-old Melbourne boy sadly passed away on Saturday, May 26.

His strength and wonderful character was an inspiration. And in the determined spirit of which the brave young teenager with a passion for comedy lived his short life, the event organisers, along with Shaun’s father, Cameron, have announced that the party will go ahead on Friday, June 15.

At ‘Shaun’s Kick Ass Party’, the cream of an Australian comedy community known as ‘The Hood’ will come together under the one roof for the very special event that will celebrate the young and brave life of Shaun, fulfilling one of his remaining wishes to throw a “kickass” party to raise awareness for HeartKids Victoria.

‘Shaun’s Kick Ass Party’ is an all ages event to be, hosted at Luna Park in St Kilda with delicious canapés, barbecue, fancy beverages, free rides, stand-up comedy and special guest appearances from some of Shaun's favourite celebrities and sporting heroes.

With RocKwiz host Brian Nankervis as MC on the night, five hours of non-stop entertainment will be laid on by comedians Chris Franklin, Doug Chappel, Mick Neven,

Greg Fleet, Bev Killick, The Nelson Twins, Lehmo and Vic Plume, with DJ sets by Fiona Scott-Norman and Dave Callan.

TV and radio personalities will join the party, along with a slew of celebrities from the entertainment and sporting worlds.

There will also be an appearance by local rapper BMike, who was so touched by Shaun’s farewell message to his friends on YouTube that he wrote a song titled Stay Strong which he will perform at the party.

In between the entertainment, Luna Park will open some of its famous rides for party guests, with food and drink provided, all for just $85 (adults) and $40 (kids – under 18 years; free entry for children under the age of two).

Shaun Miller always considered every day as a gift.

He was born with complex congenital heart disease and has suffered chronic heart rejection.

After his body rejected a second heart transplant, doctors refused a third and upon learning the sad news, Shaun made a "final goodbye" YouTube clip and posted it to his friends on Facebook, little knowing that the clip would go viral worldwide.

He appeared on The Footy Show and as a guest on Neighbours and wished to tick off the remainder of his bucket list by finishing his book (with the help of writer Graeme Brosnan, titled An Awesome Ride).

She didn’t want to leave the house, so the Eastwoods kept her on.

She is very much a part of the series. Dina manages a band, called Overtone, a South African a cappella band who sang the soundtrack for Clint’s film Invictus.

Dina made brief appearances as a reporter in two of her husband’s films, True Crime (1999) and Blood Work (2002).

She is currently chair of The Californian Museum for History, Women and the Arts of Trustees.

She is quite compelling to watch and is as loud as he is quiet.

I like her. Don’t know about the housekeeper though!

Ambitious ■ Richard Tognetti is an agent provocateur who plays the violin like an angel.

Finding musical inspiration in the most unlikely places from surfing to the idea of nothing, Tognetti is Australia’s most original, ambitious and thought-provoking musician.

While he’s breaking boundaries, Tognetti’s performances of Baroque, classical and romantic repertoire with his acclaimed Australian Chamber Orchestra have an international reputation.

A solo recital by Richard Tognetti is a rare event. With imaginative leaps from Beethoven to Sculthorpe, Tognetti has devised a program that explores a vast emotional terrain, playing to his strengths as a powerful interpreter of romantic and modern music.

● Richard Tognetti A beautiful evening usly out of the interof classical music will play between violin be held at Melbourne and piano. Similarly Recital Centre on rooted in nature is Wednesday, June 27 at Sculthorpe’s Irkanda 7.30pm, with Ben- I. jamin Martin on piFrom an Aborigiano. There is a free nal word meaning a pre-concert talk at remote and lonely 6.45pm. place, this work hauntThe program itself ingly evokes a truly is a must for classical Australian landscape. music lovers of which Brahms’ Third I am one.

Violin Sonata allows Janacek’s ardent us to eavesdrop on an and mysterious Violin intimate conversation Sonata was written on between two superb the brink of World musicians, in this case War I, the composer two of Australia’s finsaying that he could est. hear ‘the sound of the Presented by steel clashing’ over Melbourne Recital his’ troubled head’. Centre program partB e e t h o v e n ’ s ner The Langham Spring Sonata is the Melbourne, this is bright opposite, a part of MRC’s Great blithe celebration of Performers 2012 senature, generated ries. somehow spontaneMore on Page 15

● Bill Bailey

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 6, 2012 - Page 11

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Confidential Melbourne

Talk is cheap, gossip is priceless

Annie opening night

● Anthony Warlow and daughter Phoebe

HEART TESTS FOR RADIO PERSONALITY PHILIP BRADY

■ 3AW personality Philip Brady spent Monday at the Epworth Hospital, Richmond, undergoing heart tests.

The 50-a-day smoker has been suffering mild heart murmurs, as he did last year.

Brady, who turns 73 this month, underwent ECG and stress tests, as well as other scans for heart disease.

He said that he was given the ‘all clear’ by medical staff after the extensive tests.

Brady underwent a 9-minute stress test, where his respiration and heart activity was measured as he walked briskly on a treadmill.

Brady maintains an active lifestyle, going for nightly walks with his dog, and travelling overseas several times each year.

Next week: My friend Philip,

by Mike McColl Jones

More hate mail for Bert, Patti

● Philip Brady

ANDREW LINDBERG MAKES ADMISSIONS

● Nancye Hayes with John Frost

● Denise English with Ted Hamilton More photos on Pages 64-65

■ The Australian Securities and Investments Commission says it has reached a significant milestone in its long-running case against Andrew Alexander Lindberg, the former Managing Director of AWB Limited.

The matter was before the Victorian Supreme Court last week for hearing in relation to the admission of contraventions

by Lindberg.

Lindberg made admissions of four contra● Andrew Lindberg ventions oof the Corporations Act arising from AWB’s supply of wheat to Iraq under the United Nations Oil-for-Food Program (OFFP) and subsequent inquiries conducted by AWB in relation to that supply.

The Court also heard a joint submission made by ASIC and Lindberg that the appropriate penalty for the admitted contraventions ought to be a fine of $100,000 and disqualification from managing corporations until September 2014.

‘This agreement with Mr Lindberg sees him acknowledging a number of serious contraventions relating to his duties as a director and should avoid the continuation of a drawn-out, costly Court process with an uncertain end’, ASIC Chairman, Greg Medcraft said.

Defendants to ASIC’s proceedings have been: Trevor Flugge, the former AWB Chairman; Lindberg, former Managing Director; Paul Ingleby, former Chief Financial Officer; Peter Geary, the former Group General Manager; Charles Stott, former General Manager of International Sales and Marketing (2000-September 2001); Michael Long, the former General Manager of International Sales and Marketing (2001-2006)

■ TV-radio personality Patti Newton said this week that she and husband Bert are still being subjected to hate mail, especially about their son Matthew, who is facing criminal charges in America.

Patti told 3AW on Monday that she received a hate letter in her mailbox on Sunday, but tore it up because it did not include a name or address.

Patti said he stopped in the street by a woman who criticised her parenting of Matthew.

Rumour Mill Hear It Here First

What do they have in common?

■ Rumour has it that the following people will have something in common:Joan Kirner, Terry Bracks, Peter Beattie, Gareth Evans, Rolf Harris, Harry Butler, Sue Lloyd-Williams, Craig Lowndes, Ken Lyons and Haddon Storey

Whispers

Personal

■ It’s not easy being a 3AW personality. Fans of the 3AW Nightline: Bruce and Phil page on Facebook are openly discussing the marriage of one of the radio station’s personalities.

Gone

● Kathy Bedford ■ Kathy Bedford, ABC Victoria Statewide drive host presented her final program last week. She is heading overseas to Berlin and intends studying and travelling, reports Greg Newman of Jocks Journal.

Axed

Cyber hunt for vandal

■ Every computer on the internet has an IP number. You leave a ‘fingerprint’ wherever you go, even if you think you have left an anonymous comment. A hunt is on for a Victorian computer user whose IP is 118.209.228.66. The portable machine uses a dialup Adelaide-based Internode service for their web connection. Over two years, that user has been maliciously posting false information about the Melbourne Observer on Wikipedia, including a claim two years that the newspaper had closed. Rumour is that the MO Editor has said “enough”.

K D Lang to visit here ■ Artists to open the redeveloped Hamer Hall on July 26-27 will include K D Lang, Caroline O’Connor, Eddie Perfect and Archie Roach.

■ Melbourne showbiz couple Pete and Jackie Smith were in the same Toronto food court at the weekend when a gunman sprayed the area with bullets, killing one person and wounding six others (earlier story, Page 6) ... The Wiggles and Melbourne Symphony Orchestra will join forces in a world first limited run of shows at the iconic and newly refurbished Arts Centre Melbourne, Hamer Hall on August 24-25 ... Broadway star Ben Vereen will pay tribute to Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jnr at the Athenaeum Theatre on Saturday, June 23.

E-Mail: Editor@MelbourneObserver.com.au

● Mick Molloy ■ The Game Plan on Ten Network’s One channel has been axed, but the Before The Game AFL show will be slotted at 8.30pm Thursdays, ahead of The Footy Show.

Hiring ■ In the midst of 10 sackings at the Geelong Advertiser late last week, and other redundancies elsewhere, The Herald & Weekly Times Ltd have hired six trainee reporters: Therese Allaoui, Patrick Hatch, Huda Hayek, Samantha Lundy, Tom Minear and Julia Rabar.

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Page 12 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 6, 2012 Melbourne

Observer

The Best Columnists

WHO NAMED MOLLY? Long Shots

Melbourne

People Tea fit for a Queen

Racing toward the future

Our Doors are Open!

Freemasons Victoria launch CBD Luncheon series

● Larry Sengstock For an organisation which is rich with tradition and symbols, with plenty of pomp and ceremony to boot, stepping up efforts to remain as current and relevant today as it was 'back then', is a massive undertaking.

And for membership-based organisations like Freemasons, moving with the times is just as important.

"It is no secret that Freemasons Victoria is a traditional institution which played a major role in the early establishment of Victoria," says Freemasons Victoria Membership Services Manager, Jim Puohotaua.

"This underpins our ongoing commitment to our community, but certainly doesn't mean we just keep spouting tales of yesteryear; what we do today is just as relevant and beneficial to non-Freemasons as it is to Freemasons."

The CBD Luncheon series - bringing together Freemasons and their nonFreemason guests in a relaxed setting - is one such initiative.

The quarterly lunch is held at Morgans at 401 on Collins Street and features a guest speaker, with Freemasons Victoria Grand Master, Bob Jones and Deputy Grand Master, Hillel Benedykt, in attendance.

This year, in a salute to the London Olympics, legendary basketball champion, Larry Sengstock will be kicking off Freemasons Victoria's CBD Luncheon series on Tuesday June 19.

Larry wowed the industry at his debut basketball game in 1979, and ever since, has been quite a force in Australian basketball.

At the 1979 Grand Final, Larry took home the title of 'Most Valuable Player' and the first of his five NBL championship rings - not bad for a player in his first year. Larry went on to represent Australia at four Olympic Games (the last time was in Seoul in 1988) and was the Director of Sport at the 2006 Commonwealth Games in Melbourne.

Twenty years later, the 'MVP Award' has been renamed the 'Larry Sengstock Medal' in his honour.

He is a member of both the Basketball Australia and NBL Halls of Fame. There are very few players who can match Larry's love of basketball and experience.

The CBD Luncheon will be held on Tuesday June 19 at a cost of $50 per person. If you are interested in attending the please RSVP by Wednesday June 13 to: media@freemasonsvic.net.au To find out more about Freemasonry, how to become a member, or attend upcoming public events, please visit www.freemasonsvic.net.au or 'Like' our Facebook page, www.facebook.com/ freemasonsvic for the most up to date information.

● ‘Molly’ Meldrum ■ Melbourne writer Frank Howson (pictured at right) and I have been mates for many years.

Frank is a prolific writer, film maker, after being a child actor and pretty handy musician.

He and partner Vanessa Allan have both faced unbelievable challenges in their lives - and they both richly deserve every happiness.

This week I found out a Melbourne secret about Frank Howson ... it was he who named icon Ian Meldrum as ‘Molly’.

Go Set days

editor@melbourneobserver.com.au

with Ash Long, Editor “For the cause that lacks assistance, ‘Gainst the wrongs that need resistance For the future in the distance, And the good that we can do”

bourne’s pop music newspaper, Go Set. Ian had teased radio man Stan Rofe in a column, and Stan wanted to retaliate by calling him by a girl’s name.

The question was asked of 3UZ office boy Frank Howson: “What do you reckon would be a suitable girl’s name for Ian Meldrum?”

And that’s how ‘Molly’ was born.

Mal was a son of the western suburbs, and rose to be Manager of the Age Suburban Publications in the 1960s and 70s.

Mal passed away almost 10 years ago, in 2002.

It was a delight last week to catch up with his widow, Joan, who these days lives with son Wayne at St Helena.

Funny man

● Stan Rofe ■ In the early 1970s, Ian was a columnist at Mel-

■ Who remembers Melbourne funny man Mal Meikle?

Mal was a talented comedian, and was a regular part of the Victorian showbiz scene.

He gave his time generously to charities, and was a prominent member of Rotary at Greensborough.

The Wall opens

■ Melbourne Lord Mayor Cr Robert Doyle and Crown CEO Greg Hawkins will today (Wed.) officiall open ‘The Wall’ at Crown Riverside.

The Wall is a newly developed artwork located under Kingsway Bridge and has been created by a series of local artists with the direction of Adrian Doyle of Blender Studios.

The mural is a reflection of Melbourne’s culture and icons, linking contemporary images with the past and the Australian dream and is set to become a CBD attraction

● Mal Meikle

Nice words ■ Long Shots caught up with GNW TV producer Ted Robinson, famous for the Aunty Jack series, this week.

He says his interest in showbiz was sparked by watching Graham Kennedy.

Of the Observer’s own Mike McColl Jones, Ted said: “He won’t remember me. I revere him.”

FILE PHOTO

● Emma Page Campbell ■ Melbourne’s Lord Mayor Robert Doyle and Lady Mayoress Emma Page Campbell welcomed guests to the Hotel Windsor on Monday to mark the 60th anniversary of Queen Elizabeth II. “After the success of our High Tea last year, we thought it was appropriate to pay tribute to the Lord Mayor’s Charitable Foundation Patron-in-Chief, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II on her Diamond Jubilee by hosting a fundraising event at the Hotel Windsor,” said Lady Mayoress Emma Page Campbell.

“Proceeds from this event will support programs that work to prevent homelessness in Melbourne and will be donated to the Lord Mayor’s Charitable Foundation.”

Catherine Brown, CEO of the Foundation said: “The Lady Mayoress' Committee is one of the great stories of local philanthropy in Melbourne.

“The Committee has supported the Foundation since 1960 and it is great to see new members joining such an established philanthropic group.”

Rising star singers Madeleine Featherby, Dan Humphris and Sophie Thomas entertained guests by performing a selection of Andrew Lloyd Webber songs.

One of the songs performed was composed by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Gary Barlow for the Diamond Jubilee.

It wasperformed for the Queen at the Diamond Jubilee concert this week.

ABC News presenter Vanessa O’Hanlon was MC for the event.

Observer Treasury Thought For The Week

■ “The true measure of a man is the height of his ideals, the breadth of his sympathy, the depth of his convictions, and the length of his patience.” ● Ted Robinson

IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT COURT REPORTS Contents of Court Lists are intended for information purposes only. The lists are extracted from Court Lists, as supplied to the public, by the Magistrates’ Court of Victoria, often one week prior to publication date; for current Court lists, please contact the Court. Further details of cases are available at www.magistratescourt.vic.gov.au The Melbourne Observer shall in no event accept any liability for loss or damage suffered by any person or body due to information provided. The information is provided on the basis that persons accessing it undertake responsibility for assessing the relevance and accuracy of its content. No inference of a party’s guilt or innocence should be made by publication of their name as a defendant. Court schedules may be changed at any time for any reason, including withdrawal of the action by the Plaintiff/Applicant. E&OE.

Observer Curmudgeon

■ An egotist once said: “Most people won’t admit their faults. I’d admit mine if I had any.”

Text For The Week

■ “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.”

- 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Free reader ads are available in the Melbourne Trader section of the ‘Melbourne Observer’

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 6, 2012 - Page 13

Melbourne People

Moonshadow Opening Night Princess Theatre Party: Sofitel Melbourne On Collins

● Kate Neilson with Helen Reizer

● Marney McQueen, Robert Grubb, Sally Bourne

● Yusuf Islam with family members

● Rhonda Burchmore with Bobby Fox

● Annie Dawson with Clive Scott

● Eileen Miles with Terence Murphy

● Amanda Pelman with Bruce Pollack

● Dom Barbuto with Ted Robinson

● Vanessa Allan and Frank Howson

● Don McQueen watched daughter Marney

● Malcolm Cooke and Michael O’Dwyer

● Dennis Smith with Rhonda Burchmore

Page 14 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 6, 2012

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne People

Moonshadow Opening Night Princess Theatre Party: Sofitel Melbourne On Collins

● Ralph and Emma Carr

● Caroline Gillmer and Tony Bartucchio

● Rhonda Burchmore with Tania Zaetta

● Tim Holding with Felicity Selkirk

● Brynne and Geoffrey Edelsten

● Dena Kaplan with Ryan Corr

● Pia Miranda on the red carpet

● Stefan Dennis with wife Gail

● Constantino shares some magic

● Alan Fletcher with wife Jennifer Hansen

● Mary Marlas with Ken Francis

● Karen Walsh-Smith with Anne McQueen

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 6, 2012 - Page 15

Melbourne

Observer Life & Style

News Briefs

SIMPLE THINGS GIVE PLEASURE

Sad news

■ There are many simple things in our life that give enormous pleasure.

They don’t necessarily cost us money, just our time.

I think of walking the dog on a crispy winter morning.

What about finally reading that book that has been waiting for some time, or cooking or helping a friend.

Just walking around your garden can give enormous pleasure, and to carry it further, a walk in the Botanic Gardens and then a picnic lunch watching the ducks do their water aerobics.

We can all do something that gives us enjoyment without eating into our budget.

Yvonne’s Column

Cutting the paper bill

■ My special time and it really does make my week is breakfast in bed with all the Sunday papers.

It has become a tradition and even when Peter and I have been overseas Sunday morning is sacrosanct.

More so when it is pelting rain and there are no guilty feelings because you are prevented from doing all those things outside that are waiting your attention

by Mother Nature.

I took stock of the papers, which we have delivered.

There were far too many, and often the news was repeated. So we made the decision to cut our paper account in half The Herald Sun was the first to go. I cancelled our subscription because I couldn’t stand all the ads, and more importantly, I felt it was turning into a gossipy rag.

The final straw was the full front-page with a huge banner … ‘We Don’t Believe You’, and a doctored photo of Craig Thomson in the background with a long Pinocchio nose, equal in size to that of the PM.

Warm croissants

■ I’m going to miss the marvelous and insightful Mark Knight with his clever political cartoons. He always gave me my first belly laugh for the day.

And there are a couple of columnists I’ll miss because they are friends and good journalists.

But the tabloid had to go.

Now I snuggle into the doona with The Age, and in a minute the bed is under siege from all the newsprint.

Of course, breakfast is part of my Sunday morning pleasure. My husband will have gone to the French Bakehouse in the village and we have croissants still warm from the oven with lashings of butter and sensational homemade guava jelly from the kitchen of my colleague and friend Ken Lyons.

If I’m really fortunate Peter will make bagels and lox with cream cheese, capers and onions. I love them toasted and then my morning is really complete.

■ Many of my friends tell me that they can’t stand eating breakfast in bed, and ask me why I find it so ‘orgasmic’.

Just try it and you’ll enjoy it I’m sure.

Peter and I share the newspaper and we are often waiting for the slow reader to hurry up and read all the weekend inserts that fall out of The Age so than we can Melbourne

Observer

with Yvonne Lawrence yvonne.lawrence@bigpond.com

swap the next section of the paper.

Of course we discuss the news of the day and sometimes become quite vocal with our opinions.

Fury over Govt. cutbacks ■ Last weekend I was very angry when I read that the Gillard Government has made the decision to refuse free travel home to single soldiers without families, thus leaving our young soldiers who stand shoulder to shoulder in the war zone with their married mates to become cannon fodder to pay for their own airfares.

What respect does the Government have for our troops when they already have to buy some of their own equipment?

It must be very demoralizing; when in the whole scheme of things it is saving a piddling amount of money.

I’m disgusted with the Government that even dared make such a decision that affects our brave young Aussie soldiers.

I am still seething at this decision by the Defence Department when my eyes came across a news item concerning a subject very dear to my heart.

The State Government is slashing with no thought or apparent care the Auslan Diploma course at Kangan Batman TAFE.

Learning was fun

Feeling good on a Sunday

friends with many of the teachers.

As a counsellor it was important that I have this skill when dealing with those who are profoundly deaf.

I remember being in a shop and a young fellow was trying to tell the shopkeeper what he wanted.

The shopkeeper was becoming impatient and I signed to the guy and asked if I could help. The look of pure relief when we signed to one another and then me telling the man behind the counter what he wanted made me realise how difficult it must be when a person is deaf.

Particularly if they come up against the impatient shopkeeper that he encountered.

To keep my skill I should have used it daily, and I regret I’m rather rusty now, but I’ve never lost the ability to lip read. It’s very handy when you can tune into a conversation with out anyone being aware that you are being nosey.

I’ve added my voice to those Auslan students and have contacted my local member.

How are interpreters supposed to learn how to communicate without this course being available?

Perhaps the Government thought that we wouldn’t notice the axing, but to all those students, I tell them to maintain the rage.

■ One of the happiest times I experienced in my learning days was when I completed the Australian sign language (Auslan) course.

It was a fun course, and I joined in communicating the slang the students were using when the teachers weren’t looking.

On graduation night we had a slap up supper and hands were going in all directions, so much so I am still

Sign language axed ■ It’s important that you make sure that you have all the arguments without resorting to rough stuff and rudeness.

I could do without the entire extras added to the running of the Grand Prix – the saving would mean that the Auslan training could be continued.

But if you suggest that, you are quickly informed that the extras come out of a different budget. So there!

Reading what is happening in Parliament cannot help but disgust the nation. Is it any wonder that we can’t control some of the young people with their disgraceful behaviour in the Melbourne streets at night that we read about in the daily press and witness on television.

It would seem that boozed- up kids have taken over our streets, and the police don’t have enough resources to deal with it.

My city destroyed ■ It makes me so sad, not to mention angry that I am too frightened to go into the city at night because the city that I love – my city- is being destroyed.

It sounds as if there is a bit of heartburn when I’m having my heavenly Sunday morning in bed with the newpapers and enjoying a terrific leisurely breakfast.

Well, Peter and I do debate some of the news items.

He’s very logical and calm. I’m the fiery one and want to correct a wrong as I see it.

Did I tell you that I finish off reading and noshing with a snooze?

What a happy and relaxing morning. I’m thinking of including Saturday morning in my precious time of the week now that it’s winter.

- Yvonne Contact: Melbourne Observer P.O, Box 1278, Research 3095

■ Bob Meillon, former Channel 0 cameraman and friend to many, passed away on Sunday morning in Sydney.

To USA

● Jodi Crocker ■ Crown’s Media Manager for Events and Entertainment, Jodi Crocker, jets off to Los Angeles this week for a summer vacation.

Appeal

■ Melbourne’s original community radio station 3CR is staging its annual fund-raising radiothon until June 17.

The appeal raises about one-third of the station’s budget.

TAFE cuts ■ Aboriginal advocate groups fear the State Government’s TAFE cuts will lead to higher indigenous unemployment and jail rates, reports the Melbourne Times Weekly.Lack of employment would lead to criminality, it reported.

Di Rolle’s Column

● From Page 10

Book for Richard’s show

■ For bookings for Richard Tognetti visit melbournerecital.com.au or phone 9699 3333

UK’s best comedian

■ I am particularly excited about the news that funny man Bill Bailey is coming to Melbourne.

I always enjoy watching him on Stephen Fry’s QI. I like to mention Stephen Fry in my column each week, it’s an in joke with my editor!

Actually Stephen said of Bill :“wonderfully enjoyable …like driving a Rolls Royce off the road “ Bill Bailey is a regular guest on QI and has his own quirky sense of humour.

Described as “blissfully funny” by The Times in London, Bill will bring his show to Melbourne

His show at Hamer Hall on Monday, September 1, is certainly on my list of ‘must sees’ this year! to Hamer Hall on Monday, September 10. Tickets go on sale Friday (June 8)at 9am!

Star of ABC TV’s Black Books, British comic, actor and musician Bill Bailey will return down under in August for his eighth Australian tour with his brand new live show, Qualmpeddler.

This show has all the trademark Bailey elements, musical mash-ups, twisted logic, some political ranting, brilliant visuals and animation, a clear-eyed yet surreal view of the modern world, plus some new explorations of language inspired by a trip to China, where Bill’s experi-

ences were stranger than surreal.

“Always hirsute and always hilarious, Bailey is approaching the status of a national treasure.”says The Guardian Guide, London.

Bill is, as I said earlier ,best known to Australian audiences for his stand up shows and his work on television in shows such as QI and Black Books, in which he played the increasingly deranged ex accountant Manny Bianco opposite fellow comic, Dylan Moran. I have to say I have worked with a lot of comedians and all of them, particularly the English comedians, love Bill Bailey.

His show at Hamer Hall on Monday, September 1, is certainly on my list of ‘must sees’ this year! www.billbailey.co.uk Thank you promoter Adrian Baum for bringing him back to Australia.

Off now for coffee with a friend! I wonder if it will be a Dutch treat!

- Di Rolle

● Bill Bailey

Page 16 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 6, 2012

■ It can be very interesting when you dig deeper into the lives of the famous Hollywood film stars.

Margarita Cansino became a film star and her name was changed to Rita Hayworth, they changed her hair color to red, altered her hairline and dubbed her singing voice.

Yet she set the screen on fire with her beauty and talent in a career that lasted 37 years and during that time she made 61 films.

Margarita Carmen Cansino was born in Brooklyn, New York in 1918. Her parents were both dancers and Margarita later recalled that although she did not like dancing, she didn't have the courage to tell her father and as a result spent most of her childhood dancing and rehearsing.

She was actually a very shy quiet person in real life. Margarita had two younger brothers and when the family moved to California she danced with her father in a nightclub act.

She taught Spanish dancing at her father's school and one of her students was a very young Evie Hayes.

Margarita managed to get bit parts in films which led to a six-month contract at Twentieth Century Fox Studios where she worked under the name of Rita Casino.

Harry Cohn at Columbia Studios signed her to a long term contract and at this stage her hair was dyed red and her named changed to Rita Hayworth.

Rita worked in many films before landing a

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Whatever Happened To ...

Rita Hayworth

By Kevin Trask of 3AW and 96.5 Inner FM role in Only Angels Have Wings starring opposite Cary Grant and Jean Arthur.

The public loved her and she became a big star very quickly. In the early 1940s Rita appeared in films such as The Woman In Question, The Strawberry Blonde and Blood And Sand.

She danced with Fred Astaire in You'll Never Get Rich. Rita was a popular pin-up girl during the war years.

In 1944 she starred with Gene Kelly and Phil Silvers in Cover Girl and this was the first film I saw starring Rita Hayworth.

Cover Girl was shown at a late night screening in 1954 at the Grand Picture Theatre in Coburg.

● Rita Hayworth My goodness, the film didn't start till 11.30 pm so it must have been a weary young Kevin Trask who flopped into bed in the early hours of the following morning, absolutely captivated with Rita Hayworth, my new pin up girl.

Rita's next big film in 1956 was the classic black-and-white film noir Gilda where she starred opposite Glenn Ford and the film was directed by Charles Vidor.

It was not a happy time for Rita at Columbia Studios and she felt dominated by studio boss, Harry Cohen.

Her films in the early 1950s included Affair In Trinidad, Salome and Miss Sadie Thompson - but they were not successful at the box office.

Her last film for Columbia was Pal Joey and she starred opposite Frank Sinatra and Kim Novak.

Rita won acclaim for her performance with Burt Lancaster in Separate Tables in 1958. Her final film was The Wrath of God in 1972.

Rita Hayworth was married five times during her lifetime. Her husbands included actor Orson Welles, singer Dick Haymes and Prince Aly Khan. She had two children Rebecca Welles and Princess Yasmin Khan.

Sadly Rita had a troubled life and battled alcoholism.

Apparently she never took herself seriously and would have preferred to have been a comedienne/dancer.

Rita Hayworth died from Alzheimer's disease in New York in 1987 at the age of 68.

The beautiful Rita Hayworth is included as one of the American Film Institute's Greatest Stars of All Time - Kevin Trask The Time Tunnel - with Bruce & PhilSundays at 8.20pm on 3AW That's Entertainment - 96.5FM Sundays at 12 Noon 96.5FM is streaming on the internet.

To listen, go to www.innerfm.org.au and follow the prompts.

‘NEVER ENCOUNTERED RACISM’

■ A further reflection on the Bess Price story last week. She noted in her interview in the Weekend Australian that she had "never encountered racism - maybe once, in a clothing shop."

This is an interesting observation from such an obvious Aboriginal individual, but it's basically what I've noticed in all my time in Alice Springs.

There are often observations of ‘racism’ levelled at Territorians .

Like Bess, I've never encountered this. ‘behaviourism’, both negative and positive, yes.

Alice Springs has high populations of both ‘black’ and ‘white’, and many brindles, and they all see each other daily.

As happens the world over, everyone forms opinions about one's fellow man every day, usually kept to oneself, but occasionally expressed, privately or publically.

Again, the world over, it is generally the behaviour of one's neighbour that determines one's opinion of him.

If an individual chooses to indulge in behaviour which offends or endangers or insults or abuses his neighbour, his neighbour will generally think the less of him.

If, on the other hand, he acts with kindness, friendliness and goodwill, he will earn his respect and support.

I have witnessed and encountered extremes of both in Alice Springs.

And in both cases it bears no relation to the tone of his skin.

■ More Peter Falconio stuff! It's now ten years since Joanne Lees first staggered into the Barrow Creek pub, literally into the arms of my mate Les Pilton, whose life took a dramatic turn from there with the world-wide (more correctly Australia and UK) media attention to his little Outback hamlet.

Now an Austrian gentleman, Dr. Keith Noble, has recently penned a volume: Find Falconio - Dead or Alive: Concealing Crime in the NT. And he's organised some posters to display around Alice, offering a £25,000 reward to anyone who can confirm that he's still alive.

Bradley John Murdoch has been charged and convicted for murder and abduction, and is currently serving 28 years in the Alice Prison.

Dr Noble believes that both Murdoch and the Falconio family deserve "truth and justice", and he reckons that this is the way to achieve it.

I've driven through Barrow many

The Outback Legend

with Nick Le Souef Lightning Ridge Opals 175 Flinders Lane, Melbourne Phone 9654 4444 www.opals.net.au times, and if he is indeed, as suspected, languishing out there in the desert, he'll be difficult to locate.

But then again, it has been suggested that he's still with us, so I keep my eyes peeled in Woolies.

If not Elvis, then maybe Peter!

■ I'm on the Advisory Board of the AWA, the American Women's Auxilliary.

There are many US citizens living in Australia, working for large corporations such as Boeing and GM. Often they stay for a couple of years before returning to Detroit or Seattle.

Whilst the men are hard at work during the day, the wives are at somewhat of a loose end. They're hardly going to rush out and get a job as a checkout chick, so they team up to raise money for charity.

And a wonderful job they do! They raise hundreds of thousands of dollars for chosen charities - currently it's the Royal Children’s Hospital.

During the past few years, apart from Golf Days and Thanksgiving and Halloween, they've had an annual ball.

We have always supported this by donating an opal or two to be auctioned off. I have also recently donated another prize for the auction - me!

The winning bidders must get themselves to Coober Pedy, and I will then be their tour guide for a couple of days.

Jim Peterson from Grace Bros won me this year, so I'm off to Coober Pedy once more to squire he and Leanne around the mullock heaps!

■ I've often done this before, although it's only the second time with AWA. The first time was with Tim and Deb Kotlarek, who were out here for a couple of years.

They drove up and I showed them the eccentricities of underground dwellings and their inhabitants. They always claimed that it was the highlight of their visit to Australia.

When I lived in Alice I often took my friends from Pine Gap on similar jaunts.

On one occasion John and Di McManus,and Barb Ely came down with me - John was my mate, an Aussie who worked there, and Barb was the US boss of the base.

Miners have a great love for the opals they dig out, and proudly display them at the drop of a hat.

Many of them also love fossils, and often find them in their mines - usually shells and dinosaur bones.

Barb wanted to purchase a fossil from my mate Jim: "Sorry Barb, this is special for me so it's not for sale!"

Four times it happened!

She couldn't believe it: "I'm an American - everything's for sale!"

■ Then, when I lived in Coober Pedy, I occasionally needed a trip away for myself!

I didn't take anyone with me - I had plenty of friends at the other end.

Every Thursday night in Coober Pedy was barbecue night at the Greek Club, which I dutifully attended. It was run by my friends Jimmy and Michelle.

Then, come Friday, roast at the Italian Club, then Bingo, again with Jimmy and Michelle.

Bingo …?! I'd never played before, but here I was, the first time, armed with pencil and pad!

And thus, every Friday night. And when Keith and Angie McGowan were in town, they were always eagerly there. Angie loved it, and often "Bingoed" her success.

It was not my complete cup of tea,

● Peter Falconio and Joanne Lees so sometimes I needed some comic I never found out why Saturday relief, and yearned for a Friday night nights in Alice Springs were always at Bo's (Bojangles bar at Alice family nights for family men, restauSprings).

So I'd hop into my car at about 12, rants and movies, but Fridays always point it northwards, and about six hours in the pub with peers!

Then back to Coober Pedy in the later I'd be marching through those wee smalls to greet my Saturday swinging doors!

And a few joyous hours of lively morning customers!

- Nick Le Souef imbibement with Ozzie and Dingo and a few other Alice stalwarts.

‘The Outback Legend’

From The Outer

Melbourne

Observer

kojak@ mmnet.com.au

With John Pasquarelli

■ Tim Flannery is a mammalogist and when he was in PNG he was called 'Possum Man' by the locals when he was chasing possums up trees.

Flannery, who allegedly gets $180,000 p.a. for working three days a week, has now become some sort of weird ghoul calling for corpses to have their amalgam filled teeth removed before cremation.

Just imagine the terrible job of removing teeth from cadavers that this goose says is a simple task using pliers!

Who was it that removed gold fillings from corpses during those terrible WWII years?

The natural mercury in canned tuna as well as the mercury foisted on us in those whiz bang light bulbs seems not to concern this fool.

I wince when I remember that Flannery was made Australian Of The Year under John Howard but no amount of ridicule stops Flannery from opening his yap but remember that he has his supporters out there in caffe latte land.

Australians who have to work hard for their living have had enough of Flannery trying to frighten the tripe out of them with his doomsday predictions and don't forget he is Gillard's Climate Commissioner.

Flannery must be the first of Gillard's dills to be shown the door.

- John Pasquarelli: kojak@mmnet.com.au

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 6, 2012 - Page 17

Melbourne People

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● John Parker with Sally Freud

● Natasha Stipanov with Matthew Anderson

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● Valentina Jovanoska and John Parker

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● Natasha Stipanov with Nicki Wendt

● with Marija Ivkovic

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Page 18 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Observer Readers’ Club THe Way We Were

100 Years Ago Coburg Leader. Friday, June 7, 1912.

LANGUAGEANDVIOLENCE George Clough of Myrtle St. Coburg proceeded against George Stanley Mor ris at the Coburg Court on Tuesday charging him with having made use of insulting language to him or 29th May. There was a cross-summons by Morris charging Clough with assault.

Mr. J. M. Shannon appeared for Clough and Mr Larkin of Reynolds & Larkin for Morris.

George Clough gave evidence that on 29th May he asked Morris over the fence about the rent of the house, of which witness' father was landlord. Morris said he wouldn't pay the rent and added that witness wanted a punch in the --------no0se. Witness did not have any more to say then went into the house.

Witness saw Morris go out of his yard with his bi-cycle and presumed he was going to work.

Witness purposely waited about three minutes before going out in order to avoid a quarrel.

Morris was on the middle of the road with his leg over his bicycle and invited witness to punch him. Witness declined but subsequently when Morris made a most insulting reference to witness' wife witness struck him: He did it because Morris called his wife "a --- thing."

To Mr Shanion - Morris was out first and told witness that Clough was coming out to knock him out. Morris had plenty of time to go away on his bike before Clough came out. A fine of 10/- in each case with £1 3/6 costs was imposed.

Just A (Winter) Thought

■ Why don’t spectacles come with windscreen wipers?

Word Of The Week

■ Kakorrhaphiphobia - abnormal fear of failure

Melbourne Photo Flashback

Join in our chat

● Eric ‘Tiny’ Snell and John McMahon host an on-air baby show from the 3UZ Chadstone studio in the 1960s.

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Reader Recipes

■ Spotted in Belgrave: The secret to a happy marriage remains exactly that.

Your Stars with Christina La Cross Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20) This is a particularly lucky time for finding out you have support from close ones for a major personal change you want to make. Don't bad mouth new faces. You know nothing about them.

Taurus (Apr 21 - May 21) Time spent with old faces helps you find out what's been going on in everyone's lives.

It can also help you realise that it's not about the speed with which things are done, but the quality.

Gemini (May 22 - June 21) You have some difficult things to tackle and you should make sure you do it properly from the start, as short cuts and temporary measures will only cause more work and expense in the long run.

Cancer (June 22 - July 23) You do not appear to have as much work to do as usual and can spend more time on those activities you enjoy. Make an effort to visit family. They have news you need to hear.

Leo (July 24 - Aug 23) Intellectual pursuits are more prominent for you at this time and you could gain a lot of knowledge in something which you can use to your financial advantage in the future, so pay attention.

Virgo (Aug 24 - Sept 23) Close relationships should be particularly harmonious and a happy and relaxed atmosphere is more apparent. A good time for broaching that rather delicate problem that has been worrying you. Solutions can, and will be found.

Libra (Sept 24 - Oct 23) You may find that you have misjudged someone and may feel that you should get to know them better. Eating a little humble pie would not go amiss my friend. Wear red for luck in love tonight.

Scorpio (Oct 24 - Nov 22) You could find that you are becoming more deeply involved with something than you had intended and will have to review the situation. It seems you have been drifting along without giving serious thought.

Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 21) Some people you come into contact with may cause you to change some of your ideas and opinions. Your energy appears to be channelled into helping others, but for a cause that is well worthwhile.

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 20) You can't choose your family, but you can choose how you let them treat you. Put some distance between yourself and the person you're not getting along with. It's sure to prove a valid exercise.

Aquarius (Jan 21 - Feb 19) This should be a busy and rewarding weekend where you get to find out lots of news about the people you care about. One piece of information hands you more freedom than you've been used to.

Pisces (Feb 20 - March 20) Time spent on your own today gives you reason to contemplate all that you have and have not done with your life. Those things you haven't done are still possible if you want them. Do you Pisces?

FAX: 1-800 231 312 E-MAIL: editor@ melbourneobserver.com.au

Birthdays/Celebrations

Readers’ Mail ■ Pamela Rogers of Keilor wrote to say thanks for Naked Boys Singing tickets won in a Melbourne Observer competition: “We went to the Malthouse for thye first time. We arrived early to have nibbles and drinks. The show was a blast. We had never seen anything like it. It was different.”

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Muri

el

● Handbag cake for our friend Sparky Equipment You will need a 30cm x 40cm cake board, and two 30cm pieces long thin wire (22 gauge).

Ingredients 2 x 340g packets buttercake mix or 2 quantities Homemade buttercake 28 large white sugar flowers 2 candy necklaces 1/4 cup oval-shaped silver cachous 2 teaspoons pink cachous 1 heaped teaspoon small edible butterflies 2 x 10g packets small edible sugar roses Buttercream icing 375g butter, softened 4 1/2 cups icing sugar mixture 2 1/2 tablespoons milk Violet food colouring paste Method Preheat oven to 180°C/160°C fan-forced.

Grease two 7cm-deep, 22cm (base) round cake pans. Line bases and sides with baking paper.

Make packet cakes following packet directions or homemade cakes. Divide batter between prepared pans. Bake for 40 to 45 minutes or until cooked through. Stand in pans for 5 minutes.

Turn out onto a wire rack to cool completely.

Make icing: Using an electric mixer, beat butter in a bowl until pale. Gradually add icing sugar mixture and milk, beating constantly until combined.

Tint icing violet with food colouring. Spread 1 cake with 1/2 cup icing. Top with remaining cake. Cut one-third from cake. Place cake, cutside down, on board.

Spread top and sides of cake with remaining icing. Using picture as a guide, place large white flowers around base of cake. Thread 1 piece of wire into each side of 1 necklace, without cutting string. Bend to create handle. Wrap each end of wire with sticky tape to enclose. Insert into cake top. Cut string from remaining necklace. Using picture as a guide, decorate cake with necklace lollies, oval cachous, pink cachous, butterflies and small roses. Serve.

Tip: Remove and discard wire before serving.

Cut one-third from cake. Place cake, cutside down, on board.

Violet food colouring paste is available from cake decorating stores.

■ (Belated) Tuesday, June 5. Observer subscriber Don Davy of Ferntree Gully sends 90th birthday greetings to Ted Grice of Ringwood.

■ Wednesday, June 6. Happy birthday to Observer reader Keith Bowker of Lara.

■ Thursday, June 7. Former ABC news presenter Mary Delahunty is 61.

■ Friday, June 8. We remember Jim Long who was born on this day in 1921, and who left us too early, 25 years ago, in 1987. Actress Jill Forster was born in London in 1936 (76).

Singer-songwriter Archie Roach was born in Mooroopna in 1956 (56).

■ Saturday, June 9. Happy birthday Jane Kennedy (48). Australian actor Terry Norris was born in Victoria in 1930 (82). Actress Diane Craig was born in Northern Ireland in 1949 (63); she is married to Garry McDonald.

■ Sunday, June 10. Special birthday greetings to VIP reader Natasha Stipanov. Observer reader Jacki eMarcon-Green also blows out the candles.

The Australian mining magnate Lang Hancock was born in Perth in 1909; he died aged 82 in 1992. It is Prince Philip’s birthday today; he was born on the Island of Corfu, Greece in 1921 (91). New Melbourne resident, Elizabeth Hurley is 47 (1965).

■ Monday, June 11. Observer reader Douglas of Dingley Village celebrates today.

■ Tuesday, June 12. It is the 11th birthday of Joash Long of Rowville. And happy birthday to Maris O’Sullivan of Northcote. We remember the late Bobby Davis who was born in 1928. He died last year, aged 82.

● Natasha Stipanov celebrates her birthday this Sunday (June 10).

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 6, 2012 - Page 19

Observer Classic Books

r

e rv S se U N Ob N IO BO CT SE

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Pride and Prejudice CHAPTER 57 - continued

I did not know before, that I had two daughters on the brink of matrimony. Let me congratulate you on a very important conquest.”

The colour now rushed into Elizabeth’s cheeks in the instantaneous conviction of its being a letter from the nephew, instead of the aunt; and she was undetermined whether most to be pleased that he explained himself at all, or offended that his letter was not rather addressed to herself; when her father continued: “You look conscious. Young ladies have great penetration in such matters as these; but I think I may defy even YOUR sagacity, to discover the name of your admirer.

This letter is from Mr. Collins.”

“From Mr. Collins! and what can HE have to say?”

“Something very much to the purpose of course. He begins with congratulations on the approaching nuptials of my eldest daughter, of which, it seems, he has been told by some of the good-natured, gossiping Lucases. I shall not sport with your impatience, by reading what he says on that point. What relates to yourself, is as follows: ‘Having thus offered you the sincere congratulations of Mrs. Collins and myself on this happy event, let me now add a short hint on the subject of another; of which we have been advertised by the same authority. Your daughter Elizabeth, it is presumed, will not long bear the name of Bennet, after her elder sister has resigned it, and the chosen partner of her fate may be reasonably looked up to as one of the most illustrious personages in this land.’

“Can you possibly guess, Lizzy, who is meant by this?” ‘This young gentleman is blessed, in a peculiar way, with every thing the heart of mortal can most desire — splendid property, noble kindred, and extensive patronage. Yet in spite of all these temptations, let me warn my cousin Elizabeth, and yourself, of what evils you may incur by a precipitate closure with this gentleman’s proposals, which, of course, you will be inclined to take immediate advantage of.’

“Have you any idea, Lizzy, who this gentleman is? But now it comes out: “’My motive for cautioning you is as follows. We have reason to imagine that his aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, does not look on the match with a friendly eye.’

“MR. DARCY, you see, is the man! Now, Lizzy, I think I HAVE surprised you. Could he, or the Lucases, have pitched on any man within the circle of our acquaintance, whose name would have given the lie more effectually to what they related? Mr. Darcy, who never looks at any woman but to see a blemish, and who probably never looked at you in his life! It is admirable!”

Elizabeth tried to join in her father’s pleasantry, but could only force one most reluctant smile. Never had his wit been directed in a manner so little agreeable to her.

“Are you not diverted?”

“Oh! yes. Pray read on.” “’After mentioning the likelihood of this marriage to her ladyship last night, she immediately, with her usual condescension, expressed what she felt on the occasion; when it become apparent, that on the score of some family objections on the part of my cousin, she would never give her consent to what she termed so disgraceful a match. I thought it my duty to give the speediest intelligence of this to my cousin, that she and her noble admirer may be aware of what they are about, and not run hastily into a marriage which has not been properly sanctioned.’ Mr. Collins moreover adds, ‘I am truly rejoiced that my cousin Lydia’s sad business has been so well hushed up, and am only concerned that their living together before the marriage took place should be so generally known. I must not, however, neglect the duties of my sta-

● Jane Austen tion, or refrain from declaring my amazement at hearing that you received the young couple into your house as soon as they were married. It was an encouragement of vice; and had I been the rector of Longbourn, I should very strenuously have opposed it.

You ought certainly to forgive them, as a Christian, but never to admit them in your sight, or allow their names to be mentioned in your hearing.’ That is his notion of Christian forgiveness! The rest of his letter is only about his dear Charlotte’s situation, and his expectation of a young olive-branch.

But, Lizzy, you look as if you did not enjoy it. You are not going to be MISSISH, I hope, and pretend to be affronted at an idle report. For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbours, and laugh at them in our turn?”

“Oh!” cried Elizabeth, “I am excessively diverted. But it is so strange!”

“Yes — THAT is what makes it amusing.

Had they fixed on any other man it would have been nothing; but HIS perfect indifference, and YOUR pointed dislike, make it so delightfully absurd! Much as I abominate writing, I would not give up Mr. Collins’s correspondence for any consideration. Nay, when I read a letter of his, I cannot help giving him the preference even over Wickham, much as I value the impudence and hypocrisy of my son-in-law. And pray, Lizzy, what said Lady Catherine about this report? Did she call to refuse her consent?”

To this question his daughter replied only with a laugh; and as it had been asked without the least suspicion, she was not distressed by his repeating it. Elizabeth had never been more at a loss to make her feelings appear what they were not. It was necessary to laugh, when she would rather have cried. Her father had most cruelly mortified her, by what he said of Mr. Darcy’s indifference, and she could do nothing but

wonder at such a want of penetration, or fear that perhaps, instead of his seeing too little, she might have fancied too much.

CHAPTER 58 Instead of receiving any such letter of excuse from his friend, as Elizabeth half expected Mr. Bingley to do, he was able to bring Darcy with him to Longbourn before many days had passed after Lady Catherine’s visit. The gentlemen arrived early; and, before Mrs. Bennet had time to tell him of their having seen his aunt, of which her daughter sat in momentary dread, Bingley, who wanted to be alone with Jane, proposed their all walking out. It was agreed to. Mrs. Bennet was not in the habit of walking; Mary could never spare time; but the remaining five set off together. Bingley and Jane, however, soon allowed the others to outstrip them. They lagged behind, while Elizabeth, Kitty, and Darcy were to entertain each other. Very little was said by either; Kitty was too much afraid of him to talk; Elizabeth was secretly forming a desperate resolution; and perhaps he might be doing the same.

They walked towards the Lucases, because Kitty wished to call upon Maria; and as Elizabeth saw no occasion for making it a general concern, when Kitty left them she went boldly on with him alone. Now was the moment for her resolution to be executed, and, while her courage was high, she immediately said: “Mr. Darcy, I am a very selfish creature; and, for the sake of giving relief to my own feelings, care not how much I may be wounding your’s. I can no longer help thanking you for your unexampled kindness to my poor sister. Ever since I have known it, I have been most anxious to acknowledge to you how gratefully I feel it. Were it known to the rest of my family, I should not have merely my own gratitude to express.”

“I am sorry, exceedingly sorry,” replied Darcy, in a tone of surprise and emotion, “that you have ever been informed of what may, in a mistaken light, have given you uneasiness. I did not think

Mrs. Gardiner was so little to be trusted.”

“You must not blame my aunt. Lydia’s thoughtlessness first betrayed to me that you had been concerned in the matter; and, of course, I could not rest till I knew the particulars. Let me thank you again and again, in the name of all my family, for that generous compassion which induced you to take so much trouble, and bear so many mortifications, for the sake of discovering them.”

“If you WILL thank me,” he replied, “let it be for yourself alone. That the wish of giving happiness to you might add force to the other inducements which led me on, I shall not attempt to deny. But your FAMILY owe me nothing.

Much as I respect them, I believe I thought only of YOU.” Elizabeth was too much embarrassed to say a word. After a short pause, her companion added, “You are too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. MY affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this subject for ever.”

Elizabeth, feeling all the more than common awkwardness and anxiety of his situation, now forced herself to speak; and immediately, though not very fluently, gave him to understand that her sentiments had undergone so material a change, since the period to which he alluded, as to make her receive with gratitude and pleasure his present assurances. The happiness which this reply produced, was such as he had probably never felt before; and he expressed himself on the occasion as sensibly and as warmly as a man violently in love can be supposed to do. Had Elizabeth been able to encounter his eye, she might have seen how well the expression of heartfelt delight, diffused over his face, became him; but, though she could not look, she could listen, and he told her of feelings, which, in proving of what importance she was to him, made his affection every moment more valuable.

They walked on, without knowing in what direction. There was too much to be thought, and felt, and said, for attention to any other objects.

She soon learnt that they were indebted for their present good understanding to the efforts of his aunt, who did call on him in her return through London, and there relate her journey to Longbourn, its motive, and the substance of her conversation with Elizabeth; dwelling emphatically on every expression of the latter which, in her ladyship’s apprehension, peculiarly denoted her perverseness and assurance; in the belief that such a relation must assist her endeavours to obtain that promise from her nephew which she had refused to give. But, unluckily for her ladyship, its effect had been exactly contrariwise.

“It taught me to hope,” said he, “as I had scarcely ever allowed myself to hope before. I knew enough of your disposition to be certain that, had you been absolutely, irrevocably decided against me, you would have acknowledged it to Lady Catherine, frankly and openly.”

Elizabeth coloured and laughed as she replied, “Yes, you know enough of my frankness to believe me capable of THAT. After abusing you so abominably to your face, I could have no scruple in abusing you to all your relations.”

“What did you say of me, that I did not deserve?

For, though your accusations were ill-founded, formed on mistaken premises, my behaviour to you at the time had merited the severest reproof.

It was unpardonable. I cannot think of it without abhorrence.”

“We will not quarrel for the greater share of blame annexed to that evening,” said Elizabeth.

“The conduct of neither, if strictly examined, will be irreproachable; but since then, we have both, I hope, improved in civility.”

“I cannot be so easily reconciled to myself. The recollection of what I then said, of my conduct, my manners, my expressions during the whole of it, is now, and has been many months, inexpressibly painful to me. Your reproof, so well applied, I shall never forget: ‘had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner.’ Those were your words. You know not, you can scarcely conceive, how they have tortured me — though

Continued on Page 20

Page 20 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, June 6, 2012

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Observer Classic Books From Page 19 it was some time, I confess, before I was reasonable enough to allow their justice.”

“I was certainly very far from expecting them to make so strong an impression. I had not the smallest idea of their being ever felt in such a way.”

“I can easily believe it. You thought me then devoid of every proper feeling, I am sure you did. The turn of your countenance I shall never forget, as you said that I could not have addressed you in any possible way that would induce you to accept me.”

“Oh! do not repeat what I then said. These recollections will not do at all. I assure you that I have long been most heartily ashamed of it.”

Darcy mentioned his letter. “Did it,” said he, “did it soon make you think better of me? Did you, on reading it, give any credit to its contents?”

She explained what its effect on her had been, and how gradually all her former prejudices had been removed.

“I knew,” said he, “that what I wrote must give you pain, but it was necessary. I hope you have destroyed the letter. There was one part especially, the opening of it, which I should dread your having the power of reading again. I can remember some expressions which might justly make you hate me.”

“The letter shall certainly be burnt, if you believe it essential to the preservation of my regard; but, though we have both reason to think my opinions not entirely unalterable, they are not, I hope, quite so easily changed as that implies.”

“When I wrote that letter,” replied Darcy, “I believed myself perfectly calm and cool, but I am since convinced that it was written in a dreadful bitterness of spirit.”

“The letter, perhaps, began in bitterness, but it did not end so. The adieu is charity itself. But think no more of the letter. The feelings of the person who wrote, and the person who received it, are now so widely different from what they were then, that every unpleasant circumstance attending it ought to be forgotten. You must learn some of my philosophy. Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure.”

“I cannot give you credit for any philosophy of the kind. Your retrospections must be so totally void of reproach, that the contentment arising from them is not of philosophy, but, what is much better, of innocence. But with me, it is not so.

Painful recollections will intrude which cannot, which ought not, to be repelled. I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle. As a child I was taught what was right, but I was not taught to correct my temper.

I was given good principles, but left to follow them in pride and conceit. Unfortunately an only son (for many years an only child), I was spoilt by my parents, who, though good themselves (my father, particularly, all that was benevolent and amiable), allowed, encouraged, almost taught me to be selfish and overbearing; to care for none beyond my own family circle; to think meanly of all the rest of the world; to wish at least to think meanly of their sense and worth compared with my own. Such I was, from eight to eight and twenty; and such I might still have been but for you, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth!

What do I not owe you! You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled. I came to you without a doubt of my reception. You showed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased.”

“Had you then persuaded yourself that I should?”

“Indeed I had. What will you think of my vanity? I believed you to be wishing, expecting my addresses.”

“My manners must have been in fault, but not intentionally, I assure you. I never meant to deceive you, but my spirits might often lead me wrong. How you must have hated me after THAT evening?”

“Hate you! I was angry perhaps at first, but my anger soon began to take a proper direction.”

“I am almost afraid of asking what you thought of me, when we met at Pemberley. You blamed me for coming?”

“No indeed; I felt nothing but surprise.”

“Your surprise could not be greater than MINE in being noticed by you. My conscience told me that I deserved no extraordinary politeness, and I confess that I did not expect to receive MORE than my due.”

“My object then,” replied Darcy, “was to show you, by every civility in my power, that I was

not so mean as to resent the past; and I hoped to obtain your forgiveness, to lessen your ill opinion, by letting you see that your reproofs had been attended to. How soon any other wishes introduced themselves I can hardly tell, but I believe in about half an hour after I had seen you.”

He then told her of Georgiana’s delight in her acquaintance, and of her disappointment at its sudden interruption; which naturally leading to the cause of that interruption, she soon learnt that his resolution of following her from Derbyshire in quest of her sister had been formed before he quitted the inn, and that his gravity and thoughtfulness there had arisen from no other struggles than what such a purpose must comprehend.

She expressed her gratitude again, but it was too painful a subject to each, to be dwelt on farther.

After walking several miles in a leisurely manner, and too busy to know anything about it, they found at last, on examining their watches, that it was time to be at home.

“What could become of Mr. Bingley and Jane!” was a wonder which introduced the discussion of their affairs. Darcy was delighted with their engagement; his friend had given him the earliest information of it.

“I must ask whether you were surprised?” said Elizabeth.

“Not at all. When I went away, I felt that it would soon happen.”

“That is to say, you had given your permission.

I guessed as much.” And though he exclaimed at the term, she found that it had been pretty much the case.

“On the evening before my going to London,” said he, “I made a confession to him, which I believe I ought to have made long ago. I told him of all that had occurred to make my former interference in his affairs absurd and impertinent. His surprise was great. He had never had the slightest suspicion. I told him, moreover, that I believed myself mistaken in supposing, as I had done, that your sister was indifferent to him; and as I could easily perceive that his attachment to her was unabated, I felt no doubt of their happiness together.”

Elizabeth could not help smiling at his easy manner of directing his friend.

“Did you speak from your own observation,” said she, “when you told him that my sister loved him, or merely from my information last spring?”

“From the former. I had narrowly observed her during the two visits which I had lately made here; and I was convinced of her affection.”

“And your assurance of it, I suppose, carried immediate conviction to him.”

“It did. Bingley is most unaffectedly modest.

His diffidence had prevented his depending on his own judgment in so anxious a case, but his reliance on mine made every thing easy. I was obliged to confess one thing, which for a time, and not unjustly, offended him. I could not allow myself to conceal that your sister had been in town three months last winter, that I had known it, and purposely kept it from him. He was angry. But his anger, I am persuaded, lasted no longer than he remained in any doubt of your sister’s sentiments. He has heartily forgiven me now.”

Elizabeth longed to observe that Mr. Bingley had been a most delightful friend; so easily guided that his worth was invaluable; but she checked herself. She remembered that he had yet to learn to be laughed at, and it was rather too early to begin. In anticipating the happiness of Bingley, which of course was to be inferior only to his own, he continued the conversation till they reached the house. In the hall they parted.

CHAPTER 59 “My dear Lizzy, where can you have been walking to?” was a question which Elizabeth received from Jane as soon as she entered their room, and from all the others when they sat down to table. She had only to say in reply, that they had wandered about, till she was beyond her own knowledge. She coloured as she spoke; but neither that, nor anything else, awakened a suspicion of the truth.

The evening passed quietly, unmarked by anything extraordinary. The acknowledged lovers talked and laughed, the unacknowledged were silent. Darcy was not of a disposition in which happiness overflows in mirth; and Elizabeth, agitated and confused, rather KNEW that she was happy than FELT herself to be so; for, be-

sides the immediate embarrassment, there were other evils before her. She anticipated what would be felt in the family when her situation became known; she was aware that no one liked him but Jane; and even feared that with the others it was a dislike which not all his fortune and consequence might do away.

At night she opened her heart to Jane. Though suspicion was very far from Miss Bennet’s general habits, she was absolutely incredulous here.

“You are joking, Lizzy. This cannot be! — engaged to Mr. Darcy! No, no, you shall not deceive me. I know it to be impossible.”

“This is a wretched beginning indeed! My sole dependence was on you; and I am sure nobody else will believe me, if you do not. Yet, indeed, I am in earnest. I speak nothing but the truth. He still loves me, and we are engaged.”

Jane looked at her doubtingly. “Oh, Lizzy! it cannot be. I know how much you dislike him.”

“You know nothing of the matter. THAT is all to be forgot. Perhaps I did not always love him so well as I do now. But in such cases as these, a good memory is unpardonable. This is the last time I shall ever remember it myself.”

Miss Bennet still looked all amazement. Elizabeth again, and more seriously assured her of its truth.

“Good Heaven! can it be really so! Yet now I must believe you,” cried Jane. “My dear, dear Lizzy, I would — I do congratulate you — but are you certain? forgive the question — are you quite certain that you can be happy with him?”

“There can be no doubt of that. It is settled between us already, that we are to be the happiest couple in the world. But are you pleased, Jane?

Shall you like to have such a brother?”

“Very, very much. Nothing could give either Bingley or myself more delight. But we considered it, we talked of it as impossible. And do you really love him quite well enough? Oh, Lizzy! do anything rather than marry without affection.

Are you quite sure that you feel what you ought to do?”

“Oh, yes! You will only think I feel MORE than I ought to do, when I tell you all.”

“What do you mean?”

“Why, I must confess that I love him better than I do Bingley. I am afraid you will be angry.”

“My dearest sister, now BE serious. I want to talk very seriously. Let me know every thing that I am to know, without delay. Will you tell me how long you have loved him?”

“It has been coming on so gradually, that I hardly know when it began. But I believe I must date it from my first seeing his beautiful grounds at Pemberley.”

Another entreaty that she would be serious, however, produced the desired effect; and she soon satisfied Jane by her solemn assurances of attachment. When convinced on that article, Miss Bennet had nothing further to wish.

“Now I am quite happy,” said she, “for you will be as happy as myself. I always had a value for him. Were it for nothing but his love of you, I must always have esteemed him; but now, as Bingley’s friend and your husband, there can be only Bingley and yourself more dear to me. But Lizzy, you have been very sly, very reserved with me. How little did you tell me of what passed at Pemberley and Lambton! I owe all that I know of it to another, not to you.”

Elizabeth told her the motives of her secrecy.

She had been unwilling to mention Bingley; and the unsettled state of her own feelings had made her equally avoid the name of his friend. But now she would no longer conceal from her his share in Lydia’s marriage. All was acknowledged, and half the night spent in conversation.

“Good gracious!” cried Mrs. Bennet, as she stood at a window the next morning, “if that disagreeable Mr. Darcy is not coming here again with our dear Bingley! What can he mean by being so tiresome as to be always coming here?

I had no notion but he would go a-shooting, or something or other, and not disturb us with his company. What shall we do with him? Lizzy, you must walk out with him again, that he may not be in Bingley’s way.”

Elizabeth could hardly help laughing at so convenient a proposal; yet was really vexed that her mother should be always giving him such an epithet.

As soon as they entered, Bingley looked at her so expressively, and shook hands with such warmth, as left no doubt of his good information; and he soon afterwards said aloud, “Mrs. Bennet, have you no more lanes hereabouts in which Lizzy may lose her way again to-day?”

“I advise Mr. Darcy, and Lizzy, and Kitty,” said

Mrs. Bennet, “to walk to Oakham Mount this morning. It is a nice long walk, and Mr. Darcy has never seen the view.”

“It may do very well for the others,” replied Mr. Bingley; “but I am sure it will be too much for Kitty. Won’t it, Kitty?” Kitty owned that she had rather stay at home. Darcy professed a great curiosity to see the view from the Mount, and Elizabeth silently consented. As she went up stairs to get ready, Mrs. Bennet followed her, saying: “I am quite sorry, Lizzy, that you should be forced to have that disagreeable man all to yourself.

But I hope you will not mind it: it is all for Jane’s sake, you know; and there is no occasion for talking to him, except just now and then. So, do not put yourself to inconvenience.”

During their walk, it was resolved that Mr. Bennet’s consent should be asked in the course of the evening. Elizabeth reserved to herself the application for her mother’s. She could not determine how her mother would take it; sometimes doubting whether all his wealth and grandeur would be enough to overcome her abhorrence of the man. But whether she were violently set against the match, or violently delighted with it, it was certain that her manner would be equally ill adapted to do credit to her sense; and she could no more bear that Mr. Darcy should hear the first raptures of her joy, than the first vehemence of her disapprobation.

In the evening, soon after Mr. Bennet withdrew to the library, she saw Mr. Darcy rise also and follow him, and her agitation on seeing it was extreme. She did not fear her father’s opposition, but he was going to be made unhappy; and that it should be through her means — that SHE, his favourite child, should be distressing him by her choice, should be filling him with fears and regrets in disposing of her — was a wretched reflection, and she sat in misery till Mr. Darcy appeared again, when, looking at him, she was a little relieved by his smile. In a few minutes he approached the table where she was sitting with Kitty; and, while pretending to admire her work said in a whisper, “Go to your father, he wants you in the library.” She was gone directly.

Her father was walking about the room, looking grave and anxious. “Lizzy,” said he, “what are you doing? Are you out of your senses, to be accepting this man? Have not you always hated him?”

How earnestly did she then wish that her former opinions had been more reasonable, her expressions more moderate! It would have spared her from explanations and professions which it was exceedingly awkward to give; but they were now necessary, and she assured him, with some confusion, of her attachment to Mr. Darcy.

“Or, in other words, you are determined to have him. He is rich, to be sure, and you may have more fine clothes and fine carriages than Jane.

But will they make you happy?”

“Have you any other objection,” said Elizabeth, “than your belief of my indifference?”

“None at all. We all know him to be a proud, unpleasant sort of man; but this would be nothing if you really liked him.”

“I do, I do like him,” she replied, with tears in her eyes, “I love him. Indeed he has no improper pride. He is perfectly amiable. You do not know what he really is; then pray do not pain me by speaking of him in such terms.”

“Lizzy,” said her father, “I have given him my consent. He is the kind of man, indeed, to whom I should never dare refuse anything, which he condescended to ask. I now give it to YOU, if you are resolved on having him. But let me advise you to think better of it. I know your disposition, Lizzy. I know that you could be neither happy nor respectable, unless you truly esteemed your husband; unless you looked up to him as a superior. Your lively talents would place you in the greatest danger in an unequal marriage. You could scarcely escape discredit and misery. My child, let me not have the grief of seeing YOU unable to respect your partner in life. You know not what you are about.”

Elizabeth, still more affected, was earnest and solemn in her reply; and at length, by repeated assurances that Mr. Darcy was really the object of her choice, by explaining the gradual change which her estimation of him had undergone, relating her absolute certainty that his affection was not the work of a day, but had stood the test of many months suspense, and enumerating with energy all his good qualities, she did conquer her father’s incredulity, and reconcile him to the match.

- Continued on Page 61

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Victoria Pictorial

Historic Photo Collection

● Elizabeth St, Melbourne. Near GPO. 1892-93.

● Cable tram car and dummy. 1892-93.

● Cable motorhouse, Melbourne tramways. 1892-93.

● Elizabeth Street corner, Melbourne. 1892-93.

● Princess Theatre, Spring St, Melbourne. 1892-93.

● Law Courts, Melbourne. 1892.

● South Melbourne Town Hall, 1892.

● Bourke Street, Melbourne. 1892.

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From Page 20 “Well, my dear,” said he, when she ceased speaking, “I have no more to say. If this be the case, he deserves you. I could not have parted with you, my Lizzy, to anyone less worthy.”

To complete the favourable impression, she then told him what Mr. Darcy had voluntarily done for Lydia. He heard her with astonishment.

“This is an evening of wonders, indeed! And so, Darcy did every thing; made up the match, gave the money, paid the fellow’s debts, and got him his commission! So much the better. It will save me a world of trouble and economy. Had it been your uncle’s doing, I must and WOULD have paid him; but these violent young lovers carry every thing their own way. I shall offer to pay him to-morrow; he will rant and storm about his love for you, and there will be an end of the matter.”

He then recollected her embarrassment a few days before, on his reading Mr. Collins’s letter; and after laughing at her some time, allowed her at last to go — saying, as she quitted the room, “If any young men come for Mary or Kitty, send them in, for I am quite at leisure.”

Elizabeth’s mind was now relieved from a very heavy weight; and, after half an hour’s quiet reflection in her own room, she was able to join the others with tolerable composure. Every thing was too recent for gaiety, but the evening passed tranquilly away; there was no longer anything material to be dreaded, and the comfort of ease and familiarity would come in time.

When her mother went up to her dressing-room at night, she followed her, and made the important communication. Its effect was most extraordinary; for on first hearing it, Mrs. Bennet sat quite still, and unable to utter a syllable. Nor was it under many, many minutes that she could comprehend what she heard; though not in general backward to credit what was for the advantage of her family, or that came in the shape of a lover to any of them. She began at length to recover, to fidget about in her chair, get up, sit down again, wonder, and bless herself.

“Good gracious! Lord bless me! only think! dear me! Mr. Darcy! Who would have thought it!

And is it really true? Oh! my sweetest Lizzy! how rich and how great you will be! What pinmoney, what jewels, what carriages you will have! Jane’s is nothing to it — nothing at all. I am so pleased — so happy. Such a charming man! — so handsome! so tall! — Oh, my dear Lizzy! pray apologise for my having disliked him so much before. I hope he will overlook it.

Dear, dear Lizzy. A house in town! Every thing that is charming! Three daughters married! Ten thousand a year! Oh, Lord! What will become of me. I shall go distracted.”

This was enough to prove that her approbation need not be doubted: and Elizabeth, rejoicing that such an effusion was heard only by herself, soon went away. But before she had been three minutes in her own room, her mother followed her.

“My dearest child,” she cried, “I can think of nothing else! Ten thousand a year, and very likely more! ‘Tis as good as a Lord! And a special licence. You must and shall be married by a special licence. But my dearest love, tell me what dish Mr. Darcy is particularly fond of, that I may have it to-morrow.”

This was a sad omen of what her mother’s behaviour to the gentleman himself might be; and Elizabeth found that, though in the certain possession of his warmest affection, and secure of her relations’ consent, there was still something to be wished for. But the morrow passed off much better than she expected; for Mrs. Bennet luckily stood in such awe of her intended son-in-law that she ventured not to speak to him, unless it was in her power to offer him any attention, or mark her deference for his opinion.

Elizabeth had the satisfaction of seeing her father taking pains to get acquainted with him; and Mr. Bennet soon assured her that he was rising every hour in his esteem.

“I admire all my three sons-in-law highly,” said he. “Wickham, perhaps, is my favourite; but I think I shall like YOUR husband quite as well as Jane’s.”

CHAPTER 60

Elizabeth’s spirits soon rising to playfulness again, she wanted Mr. Darcy to account for his having ever fallen in love with her. “How could you begin?” said she. “I can comprehend your going on charmingly, when you had once made a beginning; but what could set you off in the first place?”

“I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I HAD begun.”

“My beauty you had early withstood, and as for my manners — my behaviour to YOU was at least always bordering on the uncivil, and I never spoke to you without rather wishing to give you pain than not. Now be sincere; did you admire me for my impertinence?”

“For the liveliness of your mind, I did.”

“You may as well call it impertinence at once.

It was very little less. The fact is, that you were sick of civility, of deference, of officious attention. You were disgusted with the women who were always speaking, and looking, and thinking for YOUR approbation alone. I roused, and interested you, because I was so unlike THEM. Had you not been really amiable, you would have hated me for it; but in spite of the pains you took to disguise yourself, your feelings were always noble and just; and in your heart, you thoroughly despised the persons who so assiduously courted you. There — I have saved you the trouble of accounting for it; and really, all things considered, I begin to think it perfectly reasonable. To be sure, you knew no actual good of me — but nobody thinks of THAT when they fall in love.”

“Was there no good in your affectionate behaviour to Jane while she was ill at Netherfield?”

“Dearest Jane! who could have done less for her? But make a virtue of it by all means. My good qualities are under your protection, and you are to exaggerate them as much as possible; and, in return, it belongs to me to find occasions for teasing and quarrelling with you as often as may be; and I shall begin directly by asking you what made you so unwilling to come to the point at last. What made you so shy of me, when you first called, and afterwards dined here?

Why, especially, when you called, did you look as if you did not care about me?”

“Because you were grave and silent, and gave me no encouragement.”

“But I was embarrassed.”

“And so was I.” “You might have talked to me more when you came to dinner.”

“A man who had felt less, might.”

“How unlucky that you should have a reasonable answer to give, and that I should be so reasonable as to admit it! But I wonder how long you WOULD have gone on, if you had been left to yourself. I wonder when you WOULD have spoken, if I had not asked you! My resolution of thanking you for your kindness to Lydia had certainly great effect. TOO MUCH, I am afraid; for what becomes of the moral, if our comfort springs from a breach of promise? for I ought not to have mentioned the subject. This will never do.”

“You need not distress yourself. The moral will be perfectly fair. Lady Catherine’s unjustifiable endeavours to separate us were the means of removing all my doubts. I am not indebted for my present happiness to your eager desire of expressing your gratitude. I was not in a humour to wait for any opening of your’s. My aunt’s intelligence had given me hope, and I was determined at once to know every thing.”

“Lady Catherine has been of infinite use, which ought to make her happy, for she loves to be of use. But tell me, what did you come down to Netherfield for? Was it merely to ride to Longbourn and be embarrassed? or had you intended any more serious consequence?”

“My real purpose was to see YOU, and to judge, if I could, whether I might ever hope to make you love me. My avowed one, or what I avowed to myself, was to see whether your sister were still partial to Bingley, and if she were, to make the confession to him which I have since made.”

“Shall you ever have courage to announce to Lady Catherine what is to befall her?”

“I am more likely to want more time than courage, Elizabeth. But it ought to done, and if you will give me a sheet of paper, it shall be done directly.”

“And if I had not a letter to write myself, I might sit by you and admire the evenness of your writing, as another young lady once did. But I have an aunt, too, who must not be longer neglected.”

From an unwillingness to confess how much her intimacy with Mr. Darcy had been overrated, Elizabeth had never yet answered Mrs. Gardiner’s long letter; but now, having THAT to communicate which she knew would be most welcome, she was almost ashamed to find that

her uncle and aunt had already lost three days of happiness, and immediately wrote as follows: “I would have thanked you before, my dear aunt, as I ought to have done, for your long, kind, satisfactory, detail of particulars; but to say the truth, I was too cross to write. You supposed more than really existed. But NOW suppose as much as you choose; give a loose rein to your fancy, indulge your imagination in every possible flight which the subject will afford, and unless you believe me actually married, you cannot greatly err. You must write again very soon, and praise him a great deal more than you did in your last. I thank you, again and again, for not going to the Lakes. How could I be so silly as to wish it! Your idea of the ponies is delightful. We will go round the Park every day. I am the happiest creature in the world. Perhaps other people have said so before, but not one with such justice. I am happier even than Jane; she only smiles, I laugh. Mr. Darcy sends you all the love in the world that he can spare from me.

You are all to come to Pemberley at Christmas.

Yours, etc.”

Mr. Darcy’s letter to Lady Catherine was in a different style; and still different from either was what Mr. Bennet sent to Mr. Collins, in reply to his last.

“DEAR SIR, “I must trouble you once more for congratulations. Elizabeth will soon be the wife of Mr. Darcy. Console Lady Catherine as well as you can. But, if I were you, I would stand by the nephew. He has more to give.

“Yours sincerely, etc.”

Miss Bingley’s congratulations to her brother, on his approaching marriage, were all that was affectionate and insincere. She wrote even to Jane on the occasion, to express her delight, and repeat all her former professions of regard.

Jane was not deceived, but she was affected; and though feeling no reliance on her, could not help writing her a much kinder answer than she knew was deserved.

The joy which Miss Darcy expressed on receiving similar information, was as sincere as her brother’s in sending it. Four sides of paper were insufficient to contain all her delight, and all her earnest desire of being loved by her sister.

Before any answer could arrive from Mr. Collins, or any congratulations to Elizabeth from his wife, the Longbourn family heard that the Collinses were come themselves to Lucas Lodge. The reason of this sudden removal was soon evident. Lady Catherine had been rendered so exceedingly angry by the contents of her nephew’s letter, that Charlotte, really rejoicing in the match, was anxious to get away till the storm was blown over. At such a moment, the arrival of her friend was a sincere pleasure to Elizabeth, though in the course of their meetings she must sometimes think the pleasure dearly bought, when she saw Mr. Darcy exposed to all the parading and obsequious civility of her husband.

He bore it, however, with admirable calmness.

He could even listen to Sir William Lucas, when he complimented him on carrying away the brightest jewel of the country, and expressed his hopes of their all meeting frequently at St. James’s, with very decent composure. If he did shrug his shoulders, it was not till Sir William was out of sight.

Mrs. Phillips’s vulgarity was another, and perhaps a greater, tax on his forbearance; and though Mrs. Phillips, as well as her sister, stood in too much awe of him to speak with the familiarity which Bingley’s good humour encouraged, yet, whenever she DID speak, she must be vulgar. Nor was her respect for him, though it made her more quiet, at all likely to make her more elegant. Elizabeth did all she could to shield him from the frequent notice of either, and was ever anxious to keep him to herself, and to those of her family with whom he might converse without mortification; and though the uncomfortable feelings arising from all this took from the season of courtship much of its pleasure, it added to the hope of the future; and she looked forward with delight to the time when they should be removed from society so little pleasing to either, to all the comfort and elegance of their family party at Pemberley.

CHAPTER 61 Happy for all her maternal feelings was the day on which Mrs. Bennet got rid of her two most deserving daughters. With what delighted pride she afterwards visited Mrs. Bingley, and talked

of Mrs. Darcy, may be guessed. I wish I could say, for the sake of her family, that the accomplishment of her earnest desire in the establishment of so many of her children produced so happy an effect as to make her a sensible, amiable, well-informed woman for the rest of her life; though perhaps it was lucky for her husband, who might not have relished domestic felicity in so unusual a form, that she still was occasionally nervous and invariably silly.

Mr. Bennet missed his second daughter exceedingly; his affection for her drew him oftener from home than anything else could do. He delighted in going to Pemberley, especially when he was least expected.

Mr. Bingley and Jane remained at Netherfield only a twelvemonth. So near a vicinity to her mother and Meryton relations was not desirable even to HIS easy temper, or HER affectionate heart. The darling wish of his sisters was then gratified; he bought an estate in a neighbouring county to Derbyshire, and Jane and Elizabeth, in addition to every other source of happiness, were within thirty miles of each other.

Kitty, to her very material advantage, spent the chief of her time with her two elder sisters. In society so superior to what she had generally known, her improvement was great. She was not of so ungovernable a temper as Lydia; and, removed from the influence of Lydia’s example, she became, by proper attention and management, less irritable, less ignorant, and less insipid. From the further disadvantage of Lydia’s society she was of course carefully kept, and though Mrs. Wickham frequently invited her to come and stay with her, with the promise of balls and young men, her father would never consent to her going.

Mary was the only daughter who remained at home; and she was necessarily drawn from the pursuit of accomplishments by Mrs. Bennet’s being quite unable to sit alone. Mary was obliged to mix more with the world, but she could still moralize over every morning visit; and as she was no longer mortified by comparisons between her sisters’ beauty and her own, it was suspected by her father that she submitted to the change without much reluctance.

As for Wickham and Lydia, their characters suffered no revolution from the marriage of her sisters. He bore with philosophy the conviction that Elizabeth must now become acquainted with whatever of his ingratitude and falsehood had before been unknown to her; and in spite of every thing, was not wholly without hope that Darcy might yet be prevailed on to make his fortune. The congratulatory letter which Elizabeth received from Lydia on her marriage, explained to her that, by his wife at least, if not by himself, such a hope was cherished. The letter was to this effect: “MY DEAR LIZZY, “I wish you joy. If you love Mr. Darcy half as well as I do my dear Wickham, you must be very happy. It is a great comfort to have you so rich, and when you have nothing else to do, I hope you will think of us. I am sure Wickham would like a place at court very much, and I do not think we shall have quite money enough to live upon without some help. Any place would do, of about three or four hundred a year; but however, do not speak to Mr. Darcy about it, if you had rather not.

“Yours, etc.”

As it happened that Elizabeth had MUCH rather not, she endeavoured in her answer to put an end to every entreaty and expectation of the kind.

Such relief, however, as it was in her power to afford, by the practice of what might be called economy in her own private expences, she frequently sent them. It had always been evident to her that such an income as theirs, under the direction of two persons so extravagant in their wants, and heedless of the future, must be very insufficient to their support; and whenever they changed their quarters, either Jane or herself were sure of being applied to for some little assistance towards discharging their bills. Their manner of living, even when the restoration of peace dismissed them to a home, was unsettled in the extreme. They were always moving from place to place in quest of a cheap situation, and always spending more than they ought. His affection for her soon sunk into indifference; her’s lasted a little longer; and in spite of her youth and her manners, she retained all the claims to reputation which her marriage had given her.

Though Darcy could never receive HIM at Pemberley, yet, for Elizabeth’s sake, he assisted - Continued on Page 62

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Observer Classic Books him further in his profession. Lydia was occasionally a visitor there, when her husband was gone to enjoy himself in London or Bath; and with the Bingleys they both of them frequently staid so long, that even Bingley’s good humour was overcome, and he proceeded so far as to talk of giving them a hint to be gone.

Miss Bingley was very deeply mortified by Darcy’s marriage; but as she thought it advisable to retain the right of visiting at Pemberley, she dropt all her resentment; was fonder than ever of Georgiana, almost as attentive to Darcy as heretofore, and paid off every arrear of civility to Elizabeth.

Pemberley was now Georgiana’s home; and the attachment of the sisters was exactly what Darcy had hoped to see. They were able to love each other even as well as they intended. Georgiana had the highest opinion in the world of Elizabeth; though at first she often listened with an astonishment bordering on alarm at her lively, sportive, manner of talking to her brother. He, who had always inspired in herself a respect which almost overcame her affection, she now saw the object of open pleasantry. Her mind received knowledge which had never before fallen in her way. By Elizabeth’s instructions,

she began to comprehend that a woman may take liberties with her husband which a brother will not always allow in a sister more than ten years younger than himself.

Lady Catherine was extremely indignant on the marriage of her nephew; and as she gave way to all the genuine frankness of her character in her reply to the letter which announced its arrangement, she sent him language so very abusive, especially of Elizabeth, that for some time all intercourse was at an end. But at length, by Elizabeth’s persuasion, he was prevailed on to overlook the offence, and seek a reconciliation; and, after a little further resistance on the part of his aunt, her resentment gave way, either to her affection for him, or her curiosity to see how his wife conducted herself; and she condescended to wait on them at Pemberley, in spite of that pollution which its woods had received, not merely from the presence of such a mistress, but the visits of her uncle and aunt from the city.

With the Gardiners, they were always on the most intimate terms. Darcy, as well as Elizabeth, really loved them; and they were both ever sensible of the warmest gratitude towards the persons who, by bringing her into Derbyshire, had been the means of uniting them.

Observer Crossword Solution No 26 C O I F F E O R A P A K I S T E T E S A D I S T T N R A T I S H O A P O S C R I M P H R E D E T E R R R E E M E A S U R E W N A L L Y I N N E O S H R I N E E N V S M U D G E I I N U N E A S E N R O D M U R A L O O C E T H R A S H U N O S M O K E R I L E A D V E R S D E E M I N D F U I D E R O O F R A E R E D I S P E N M R U E M B A L M E N B C R O C H E S E R M E S S E S I A X M A N D A R T L I C R A F T I

U T A H

R D R A A E U N R A S O S E T F N E E E F I T R O N W E N E D G E S I L Y C L E N T F A N S H E D E S A D D R T R C R E G I T C H S S W A S E R S A E E Y E S I C K N O S H U D L Y A L I N S T E T C C P I N A T S N E O G L N D U P E E P A C G O G O T L S Q U E I R C K T O I T T E R N S E R A G E N S A G I A D D I E T L S C E L E T U E H A B M A K E I I N E X C T E N L E R O V E

G S Q P U A D L O I R C I N E R C L E S E P R T E S E S T O I Q U R E T T E E S T E R A A N G L E I L N F T E R A R I T I I S T R S

T E M T I S E S I D O I N G R A E S H S P E R I M E E V G A A L Z E R T T I E M P I A R T D E D D R E E S C S U P P E N U E L I O P E E

R T A A Z E S N A B T A R E R S N G O T U O C E N S A I N I N T V E A R P E S I E N N Y S S O S K O T T O U H O D K A I M S O R A U O S G L A U N I E S D W R I S E O A E C U R Y I R I N O I N G S S A L I S R G I E N C E I S T A R R E O U N S E P A R G O N U N O L L S N P E

J M A E R T P I A B L E M O O A U N S H E P R E T O I C U S N C O W U T H O U F T M O E D E A D M N I E S I T Y R E L A D F E R R S

A H O D E D N O W O N L D E E R A D O V A A N T R A G R E H O R D E R S I R A N W E I L L I B U V I L F T U N G G I E F Y F E N C T I S

A L E N E U T S G A N L I L E F E L U O S T C E R S S E G Y R E D G A Q T E D E L E P L E N C E O D Y N E S O S P U L O E D

S S E E X P E A D N G O R I L O Y E

I C O W O Y O D S W O D R K B E R A S A P

H E T I H I C K A L A V W E R A T T S S

H O W G I A I D L E P H A O E H P R O O L Y N O R A T I R A H E M P E R I G U D M O U N U N M B R A C A U I S H R I V K O I E M A I L D Y M R A B I G I U A G E N E D E O N O O A P E K U S E S N Z A Z U R I E L L N E W Y O A E A B L A C K L T T I T H E R N E E G E R S E L U M A P S O E T P L I N E A T O C N A T U S N N E I G N I E E T M A L L E

Look out for the new book starting in the ‘Observer Classic Books’ section in next week’s edition of the Melbourne Observer.

Order your copy from your local newsagent.

R L U N T E F S I N G D O R U T H A E S S E L E E D V E S R T S W S E E U P L C H E R K A E R A T O K Y E O U T N G E E R E I N G H S T