Melbourne Observer. 130306A. Part A. March 6, 2013. Pages 1-14

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■ Doggies 'Bruiser' and 'Rufus' are looking for a Melbourne home when they star in Legally Blonde. Bruiser (real name Quinn) and Rufus (Luka) play alongside Lucy Durack and Helen Dallimore. The The Legally Blonde company is seeking inner city accommodation for four dogs. It needs to be a dog friendly home with a secure backyard. The pair each share the role with another dog and do 4 performances each per week. The theatrical company arrives in Melbourne the start of May and requires doggie accommodation to the end of September. info@legallyblonde.com.au

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City Desk

Melbourne

Observer

The hottest news about Melbourne’s A-listers

The Buzz

Legends of the Skies

Tooth fairy time

Under The Clocks The Shape of Things

● Debbie Keyt portrays New Zealand aviator Jean Batten in Legends Of The Skies next month at Moorabbin Airport. Debbie is pictured inspecting the Percival Gull monoplane. More details on Page 9.

Photo: Malcolm Threadgold

● The Tooth Fairy with Dakota Rigby, 11 ■ The Smilke Solutions Tooth Fairy has been visiting kids at the Monash Children’s Hospital. More details on Page 9.

● Jayden Huynh, 25 months, with the Tooth Fairy

Going abroad ■ Popular Golden Days Radio manager Alex Hehr will soon take five week’s leave to head abroad. It will be his first such holiday in 12 years.

SHOW ME THE MONET

■ The National Gallery of Victoria will open this year’s highly anticipated Melbourne Winter Masterpieces exhibition, Monet’s Garden: The Musée Marmottan Monet, Paris, on May 10.

This exhibition will feature more than 60 works devoted to Monet’s iconic garden at Giverny.

Monet’s Garden traces the evolution of these garden motifs over a period of 20 years.

NGV Director Tony Ellwood says the exhibition will feature Monet’s most well-known works.

“Monet’s Garden is a once-in-a● Claude Monet lifetime opportunity to experience the world of Monet and the garden that became his lifelong obsession. We are thrilled to collaborate with the Musée Marmottan, home to one of the largest collections of works by Monet in the world, to bring these masterpieces to Melbourne for the first time,” Mr Ellwood said.

The exhibition takes visitors on a journey beginning with Monet’s arrival in Giverny in 1883 and the first steps taken towards the creation of the garden that would serve as inspiration for the remainder of Monet’s life. invitation-only launch of The Production Company’s 2013 ★The season of shows will be held at Kew, on Thursday, March 21.

Toni Jordan, author of Fall Girl, Addiction and Nine Days, was ★ speaker at last night’s Tuesday Book Club held by Meera Govil at Eltham Bookshop.

Melbourne TV publicist Laura Price says four musicians will ★ join The Voice judges Ricky Martin, Delta Goodrem, Joel Madden and Seal as mentors. They are Jessica Mauboy, Ben Lee, Connie

● Josh Blau and Emily Wheaton in The Shape Of Things Photo: Sarah Walker ■ RoundSquare Productions presents Neil LaBute's powerful play The Shape Of Things, opening tomorrow (Thurs., Mar. 7) at the No Vacancy Gallery, Melbourne.

Directed by Peter Blackburn, The Shape Of Things asks how much you are willing to change for someone you love.

After a chance meeting in a museum, Adam begins an increasingly intense affair with the enigmatic Evelyn, who is gorgeous, intense ... and way out of his league.

Under Evelyn's influence, Adam blossoms into the ideal boyfriend and an all-round better man. So why do things spin so radically out of control?

Performed by Josh Blau, Emily Wheeton, Nick Brien and Stephanie Lillis, The Shape Of Things peels back the layers of modern day relationships and challenges our very notions of love, identity and truth.

Season: March 7-24. Preview: March 7 at 8pm. Mon and Thurs - Sat 8pm, Sat and Sun 4pm. Tickets: $30 Full, $25 Con and $20 preview, Bookings: 0427 832 299 and online www.trybooking.com/ CISU Venue: No Vacancy Gallery - QV Building, 34-40 Jane Bell Lane, Melbourne www.no-vacancy.com - Cheryl Threadgold

High Fashion, Grand Opera

Mitchell and Ryan Tedder.

Melbourne Moments Funny Tonne

Dreyfus concert

■ How many shows is it possible for one person to see during the Melbourne Comedy Festival?

Three Festival fans will join in an ‘Amazing Race’ of comedy, using their own tactics to try and win the title.

Each Funny Tonne competitor reviews show they see and posts them on the Comedy Festival website daily.

There are more than 450 shows in the Comedy Festival over 25 days. The record is held by Kath Dolgehuy, who witnessed a whopping 145 shows during 2011.

■ St Kilda Town Hall will come alive on Sunday (Mar. 10) at 3pm, when George Dreyfus conducts his orchestra.

His new score is based on material from the infamous Dreyfus Affair. First half of the concert will revisit some of Dreyfus’s most famous compositions, including his much-loved theme from the 1974 television series Rush.

The Camberwell Chorale will be conducted by Douglas Heywood and Wendy Harvey will conduct the Canterbury Girls’ Secondary College Choir.

● Kath Dolheguy

● Amelia Farrugia ■ Operette will be performed at one of Melbourne’s homes of opera, the Athenaeum Theatre on Monday, March 18 at 8.15 pm.

Julie Houghton has all the details in Observer Showbiz.

What’s On In Melbourne

Garry Lyon, James Brayshaw, Sam Newman, Shane Crawford ★ and Billy Brownless return to host The Footy Show (Channel 9) at the new time of 8.30pm Thursdays from tomorrow (Mar. 7).

'Life. Be In It' has just embarked on a new midweek Corporate ★ Bocce Challenge program to invigorate Melbourne inner city workers in a fun, light-hearted activity session.

Day is being held on Friday, March 22 to raise money to ★Wish help grant wishes for seriously-ill children. Dress up or down.

Page 4 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 6, 2013

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Mark Richardson ♥ Straight from the heart

E-Mail: mark@localmedia.com.au

CELEBRITIES FLOOR IT TO SANDOWN ‘Red Mist’ Porch Thoughts ■ Mark Skaife OAM: "For my team and me, when it comes to teaching a celebrity how to drive a race car, they need to learn the key competencies such car handling and braking exercises and understand line and length to reach requisite racing driver status."

■ Jessica Gomes, swimsuit model: “"I'm a pretty competitive person, so we'll see how I go on the day. “I'm not setting my expectations too high because I need a bit of practice first and get a feel for what it's like, because this is the first time I'm actually going to be racing a car!"

● Mark Skaife, OAM

■ Wayne Cooper, international fashion designer: "I've had a go in go carts, but never done anything like this before, so for me this is really about pushing myself to see how well I can do in something I'm new to. I obviously want to win it, but really I just don't want to let myself down."

● Jessica Gomes

Off The Porch Thought For The Day Lauren Penny Premier International Consultancy Melbourne excels at hosting major sports and entertainment events. Returning from working on London 2012 Olympics, my excitement continues being a part of this great city.

The culmination of these events, relies on workforce teams spending months and often years working tirelessly behind the scene. They work in sync delivering their area of expertise to set the stage for athletes and performers to give their utmost best.

Well done to all who make these events successful and showcase electrifying Melbourne.

■ Come race day it doesn't matter if you've have won a Logie, been awarded a Gold Medal in the Olympics, selected as an AFL All-Australian player, designed the best designer wardrobe showcased on international catwalks, or even modelled them.

Such accolades see many Australian and international stars invited to compete in the Celebrity Challenge at the Grand Prix each year, but the moment the engines of their Mazda6 sedans fire-up on the Albert Park circuit, such achievements are easily forgotten.

A mix of 20 actors, radio and television presenters, DJs, models, comedians and sporting champions are expected to accelerate from 0-100kmh in 7.8 seconds, reaching speeds in excess of 200kmh over eight entertaining laps; all for their love of motor racing as they do so on a voluntary basis.

With the all-time win record in V8 Supercars with 90 career race victories, winning five V8 Supercars championships and six Bathurst 1000 crowns, Mark Skaife OAM, will educate this year's celebrities during a comprehensive three-day training program at Sandown Raceway.

Mark explained that his job is not only to prepare the celebrities for the rigors of motor racing, but help them control what professional drivers call 'red mist' or uncontrolled aggressive behaviour.

"Those involved will be, by nature, quite competitive. They all want to do well, and it is our job to teach them how to stay safe and enjoy the experience while keeping them under control - which can be quite a challenge at times."

Upon completion of Mark's crash course, each celebrity will be awarded a CAMS (Confederation of Australian Motor Sport) racing licence. I caught up with a few of our brave celebrities ahead of their Sandown training (commencing March 11) where they will prepare to battle for the ultimate 2013 Mazda6 Celebrity Challenge championship title.

● Jared Daperis, actor and star of Channel Nine's new Underbelly series, Squizzy Taylor ■ “I haven't had a crash before, so I'm pretty optimistic about my chances. I'm pretty good at a reverse parallel, so maybe I could reverse parallel my way around Albert Park? I think I'll have to be a bit more moderate with my driving at the start of the week, see what the other competitors are doing and then I might have to channel 'Squizzy' and my inner gangster a little bit to get ahead."

● Chris Tarrant

■ Chris Tarrant (Former Collingwood player): "It's not very often that experiences like this come along.

“At this time of the year I'm usually in a hard pre-season, so being able to come down and catch an early glimpse of pit lane and the Grand Prix circuit through the Celebrity Challenge is a welcome and exciting change."

● Kate Peck, model and MTV presenter ■ "I was at the event in 2012 as the event Ambassador, but plan on leaving in 2013 as the winner of the Mazda6 Celebrity Challenge.

Either way, it's going to be so much fun. I love motorsport, but love F1 more than any other event in Australia." ● 2013 Formula 1 Australian Grand Prix - Albert Park March 14-17. www.grandprix.com.au

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 6, 2013 - Page 5

Showbiz News

It’s All About You!

Melbourne

ANTHONY CALLEA SLAMS ‘AGE’ REPORTER Observer FOR TRIVIALISING ‘COMING OUT’ STORY In This 124-Page Edition

City Desk: Show Me The Monet ............... Page 3 Mark Richardson: Straight from heart ..... Page 4 Di Rolle: Welcome back Ruby Wax ,,,,,,,,,,, Page 8 Showbiz: Show at Moorabbin Airport ....... Page 9 Long Shots: Thanks Peter Harvey ........... Page 10 Yvonne Lawrence: Examining breasts .... Page 13 Kevin Trask: Ed Devereaux profile ......... Page 14 100 Crosswords: Just a little harder ...... Page 29 David Ellis: Travel and wine .................. Page 103 Cheryl Threadgold: Shows, auditions ... Page 115 Ted Rya: Observer Racing ..................... Page 119 Grand Opera First Radio Ratings Latest Movies, DVDs Local Theatre

Encore’s Seventeenth Doll

Observer Showbiz

● Leeann Cairnduff, William Mulholland and Paris Romanis in Summer Of The Seventeenth Doll, being presented by Encore Theatre from March 7-23 in Clayton.

Photo: Kevin Trask ■ Encore Theatre presents the Australian someone else but has reservations about classic play Summer Of The Seventeenth forming a relationship with Pearl.

Doll from March 7-23 at the Clayton ComAge has crept up on all of them. munity Centre Theatrette, Cooke St, This classic Australian play directed by Clayton.

Kevin Trask will remain in your memory Written by Ray Lawler and directed by for years to come.

Kevin Trask, the story tells of cane cutOpening Night: Friday, March 8 ters, Barney and Roo, spending 16 sumGala Night (Includes special supper): mers with Olive and her friend Nancy in Saturday, March 16 Melbourne during the lay-offs.

Other evening performances: March 9, Each summer has been a five-month 15, 22, 23. All evening Performances honeymoon, to Olive infinitely better than commence at 8 pm. Matinee perforany conventional ties could be. mances at 2.15pm March 10, 17, 23.

Every summer, Roo has brought Olive Venue: Clayton Community Centre a kewpie doll, but this year is1952 and Theatrette, Cooke St, Clayton the seventeenth doll is all that remains of Tickets: $20/$18; Opening night all their old happiness. tickets $15; Gala Night $24.

Barney has to come to terms with the Bookings: 1300 739 099 (9am- 9pm) fact that his girlfriend Nancy has married - Cheryl Threadgold

● Anthony Callea ■ Melbourne entertainer Anthony Callea says Age reporter Christine Sams triviliased important issues about him ‘coming out’ as a gay person.

Callea says Sams ‘trivilaised’ gaylesnian-transgender-bisexual-intersex issues in an exclusive interview he gave her about his new album release and signing with ABC Music.

“What I thought was a great 20minute interview today, has now turned into an amateur gossip piece,” Callea told Facebook friends.

“For a very short amount of time she brought up the topic of ‘gay issues’, which I was reluctant to speak about, and now my hesitation has been substantiated.

“As much as I stand by most of what I said, the headline “'Coming Out' as gay a 'bizarre concept' says Callea" is cheap and tabloid-like and the article was never meant to be about these important issues.

“It's a shame, especially over Mardi Gras weekend that Christine and her editor have decided to take this angle, perhaps to grab their own cheap headlines.

“But I refuse to be a pawn in their game and I know readers are smarter than this.

“I would caution any artist in ever giving over to this so called journalist.”

Dozens of fans echoed their support for Callea whose partner is entertainer Tim Campbell.

TOP FILMS FOR FASHION FESTIVAL

■ The L’Oréal Melbourne Fashion Festival has announced the top three films of the inaugural Fashion Film Series, to be screened throughout March as part of its Cultural Program.

Filmmakers of the top three films are invited to attend a masterclass with Quynh Mai, the founder of Moving Image and Content and a business speaker at this year’s Festival.

The top three films for 2013 are, ■ Emma Mulholland 12/13 directed by Alex Goddard ■ Kusbi Kolors directed by Daniel Askill ■ Tomorrow's Lovers directed by Christian Blanchard and Steven Protuder The launch of the 2013 L’Oréal Melbourne Fashion Festival Fashion Film Series saw filmmakers from across the country submit more

ON FED SQUARE BIG SCREENS than 50 short films, celebrating design through the medium of fashion film.

From the submissions, a panel of industry experts selected the top three films to be screened alongside the finalist films on rotation on Fed Square’s big screens, ahead of the feature length fashion films at ACMI, online via Portable.tv and the regional centres of Geelong, Mildura and Bendigo.

Graeme Lewsey, L’Oréal Melbourne Fashion Festival CEO, said the calibre of films is outstanding.

“The fashion film technique brings a designer’s collection to life in a new and exciting form and the Fashion Film Series celebrates the

high quality of works from Australian filmmakers.

Finalist films included, ■ Bros.Dancing Scene directed by Alex Goddard ■ Chameleon directed by Steven Protuder and Christian Blanchard ■ Concrete directed by Nicole Rose ■ King of Plenty Eyewear directed by Tim Tregoning ■ Neronis directed by James Brettell and Cath Anderson ■ Regalia directed by Tim White ■ Shibui Hands directed by Adam Murfet and Jessie Oldfield ■ The Traveller directed by Liam Gilmour, Peter Ryle and Tomas Friml ■ Third Coming directed

by Justin Griffith The films can be viewed until the end of March.

Latest News Flashes Around Victoria

‘Shafted’, says gent ■ Martin Nicholas Russell was nabbed by Police after a foot pursuit in Lavington on Thursday and later allegedly threatened a woman officer, telling her the make of the vehicle she drives and which gymnasium she attends.

But in Albury Local Court, Russell proclaimed his innocence when facing a series of charges, including intimidation of the officer: “It’s like I am a bad person. I am a gentleman, I have been shafted, your honour.”

He is due to be sentenced today (Wed.).

Up: assaults, drugs ■ Large spikes in assaults and drug offences helped drive up total crime in the Geelong region by almost nine per cent last year, reports the Geelong Advertiser.

Historic pub re-opens ■ Horsham’s Commercial Hotel has opened for business for the first time in two years. Local businessman Gary Jelly and partner Wendy O'Connor took on the challenge when they bought the Wilson St hotel in October, says the Mail-Times.

Weather forecast ■ Today (Wednesday). Partly cloudy. Mon. 17. Max 32.

■ Thursday. Partly cloudy, 16-31.

■ Friday. Partly cloudy. 15-29.

■ Saturday. Sunny. 18-30 ■ Sunday. Some showers. 18-30.

Mike McColl Jones

Top 5 THE TOP 5 COMMENTS THAT MIGHT BE HEARD AT A CERTAIN MOTEL IN ROOTY HILL 5. "No Ms Gillard, we don't accept cheques from the government".

4. "Room 12, Mr Garrett? Would you please turn down that music!".

3. "Sorry Mr Swan. The King Suite has already been taken by a Mr Rudd".

2. "Check-out time? That'd be September the 14th, wouldn't it?".

1. "Prime Minister, you might know one of our regulars Craig Thomson?"

Page 6 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 6, 2013

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People Melbourne

Send news to editor@melbourneobserver.com.au

Fax: 1-800 231 312

‘Best of The Best’ workshop ■ Emily Greenaway is organising the next ‘Best of The Best’ workshop with 15 of Australia’s top producers, directors and choreographers from April 8-12 at Left Leg Studios, Albert Park.

Amongst those participating are Ash Evans, Ant Ginandjar and Bobby Galinsky.

Also signed are Jacqui Green, Joanne Adderly, Rob Shook, Emma Kaman, Wtienne Khoo and Dana Jolly.

There are limited places for the five-day workshop.

More details are available at www.joiningforces.com. au Phone 0419 594 851

● Fresh from performances of A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum, Melbourne-based actor Gerry Connolly has been holidaying in Myanmar.

$35,000 raised

● John Olzard ■ Country singer John Olzard is excited about participating in the South By South West Music Festival in Austin, Texas from Tuesday (Mar. 12).

The former Rugby League player hopes to make inroads to the US music scene during his trip stateside.

Gone national ■ Simon Owens is in charge of the Australia Overnight program this week on 3AW and sister stations. He and Dave Ferguson are standing in for Andrew McLaren and Mark Petkovic.

● Simon Owens

At Myer Mural Hall

At Sofitel ■ The Foreign Returned exhibition by emerging artist Meera Sethi references Indian dress iconography, contemporary fashion and popular culture, is at Sofitel On Collins as part of the L’Oreal Melbourne Fashion Cultural Program. The striking life-size works are by Meera Sethi. Her use of vibrant colour and bold pattern offers a contemporary interpretation of iconography from 16th to 19th century Indian miniature paintings. “There are many crossovers in my work between fashion, art, and cultural identity,” she says. Foreign Returned is on show in Sofi’s Lounge until April 14.

To Texas

● Mark Trevorrow and Barry Crocker were at the Bob Downe Roast that raised $35,000 for charity.

Blair Edgar launches e-book ■ Melbourne drama coach and director Blair Edgar is promoting his e-book, Opera Is A Blood Sport.

For 41 years he prepared young and ambitious singers for the operatic stage. In the1960s there were no accepted modes of teaching stage performance for opera singers except for a series of 'poses'. That led to a whole new approach being evolved and experiential learning that embraced all aspects of how a show gets to the stage.

The book is now required text for the production division stage management course at the Victorian College of The Arts.

Opera Is A Blood Sport is available from www. bryzapublishing.com ● Blair Edgar: for 41 years he has prepared artists

On show in the States ■ The works of Melbourne artist Damon Kowarsky went on show at Philadelphia’s ‘Twelve Gates Art’ on Friday night (Mar. 1) in an exhibition that continues until March 30. It is supported by the Australian High Commission.

PHOTO: FACEBOOK

● Damon Kowarsky

● 3AW entertainment reporter Donna Demaio was at the Myer Mural Hall with supermodel Jennifer Hawkins for the Autumn-Winter collections launch.

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 6, 2013 - Page 7

Places To Go

Page 8 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 6, 2013

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To

‘When You Go To Melbourne’

Di For

History in the making ■ I was thinking how lucky I am to live in a time that I can see history in the making.

To see a Pope resign for the first time in 600 years, almost an unheard of event to happen. Before my eyes on television I got to see the Swiss Guards who have guarded Pope Benedict (now known as Pope Emeritus) since 2004, abandon their station at the doors of the 17th-century villa and leave the task to Vatican gendarmes. Incredible really.

And to see the doors of the Papal Palace close. Quite incredible.

I read all I could about this momentous event and one interesting little piece of trivia I loved was that the Roman Pontiff Emeritus loved shoes.

He always wore red Prada shoes. He will now wear brown shoes that he saw and had purchased for him in Mexico.

The other thing I found interesting was the special ring he wore, known as the fisherman’s ring was taken from his finger and burned.

Before being burned it had an X scratched on its face to stop forgeries if people find it.

His Twitter account was suspended and this simple pilgrim headed off to Castel Gondolfo for a break.

I have to tell you Castel Gondolfo is the most wonderful of holiday places to go and long has been the holiday residence of Popes. ★★★ Then I saw history again when The Age newspaper changed its format. My father Peter would have found this story so interesting, .

He loved The Age. After 159 years a broadsheet it turned compact. I certainly never thought I would see it happen and initially was very sad at the thought.

There was something quite special about sitting down with The Age. However change is good. As Buddha said: “Everything changes, nothing remains without change”, so I embraced the new look Age. Actually I was very fortunate to be among a group of people who were invited to a very salubrious drinks called Spotlight On Arts And Entertainment” by the wonderful Sales team at Fairfax.

Held at The Den, at The Atlantic Restaurant at Crown Entertainment Complex, it was a beautiful evening with the coldest white wine I have ever tasted and sumptuous canapés. We were hosted by Monique Farmer, the National Entertainment Editor from Fairfax, and Jacki Wong, Sales Director – Entertainment Fairfax.

Both Monique and Jacki explained the editorial vision and we received an insight into the exciting new plans for the year ahead.

It was a very grown-up event with all the editorial staff attending and gave yours truly a wonderful chance to speak first hand to the journalists who write the stories that we read every day in the papers.

It was so nice to go to a function where everyone was so accessible. So many times in my profession I talk to people on the phone and email and it was great to put names to faces and establish good relationships with the people who are so important to us all.

I wish The Age all the best and love the new look already.

Soweto Choir here ■ I am catching up with the fabulous Soweto Gospel Choir at the Melbourne Recital Centre on Sunday (Mar. 9).

They have two shows: 3pm and 8pm.

They are here to celebrate their 10th Anniversary tour. Always great to see them perform.

I love my job! with leading Melbourne publicist DI ROLLE

■ Another fabulous woman is Maree Coote. Maree is a writer, designer, illustrator and photographer. She has enjoyed an awardwinning career in advertising and understands Melbourne’s unique advantage well. So much so she has created a wonderful picture book perfect for young children and tourists.

When You Go To Melbourne explores the city of Melbourne with a child’s sense of wonder. Reliving cherished childhood memories of trips to town, Maree Coote has created a delightful nonsense romp around our city of style.

The reviews so far are great. “Well, we have fallen in love!

When You Go To Melbourne is the picture book we’ve been waiting for! Bravo! – The Little Bookroom.

Available from www.melbournestyle.com.au/books; Hill of Content, Bourke St, Melbourne; Readings Carlton and of course, The Little Bookroom. Degraves St, Melbourne and Lygon St, North Carlton. All divine book shops. I love book shops.

Maree Coote’s many creative passions converge in her studies of Melbourne’s history, which is the focus of her work in publishing over the past 10 years.

Maree is passionate about a sense of place and history, and she brings this to life in multiple platforms for multiple audiences.

Her affinity for Melbourne is unique and highly informed. A beautiful gift or a treat for yourself. It will be my treat this week for me! Highly recommended.

WELCOME BACK RUBY WAX

■ Ruby Wax is coming to Melbourne. She is a terrific person.

I got to know her quite well when I worked with her some years ago on a visit here.

She draws you into her vortex when you meet her and she drew me in very well.

You can’t help but be close to people when doing publicity for them.

I had seen the brilliant documentary East Meets Wax made in 1989, I highly recommend it.

The documentary was made when Ruby went to Russia for a comedy tour and the Russians didn’t find her funny at all.

It is one of the best documentaries I have ever seen.

When I found out I was going to work with her I recalled the documentary and shuddered and thought ‘oh dear!’

She was quite a handful in the documentary for the interpreter who was with her in Russia.

However once I met her I loved her, don’t know if she felt the same about me.

However we did the tour and it was great fun, although I did sprain my ankle running to get her a sandwich, or was it picking up her eyebrow pencil which she lost on the plane?

Can’t quite remember it was one of those things.

Very funny!

She returns to Melbourne for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival for her Out Of

ness?’ has more than half a million views online to date. I loved that talk.

TED.com Ruby has written for and co-edited every episode of Absolutely Fabulous, and her best-selling memoir How Do You Want Me? has become a classic autobiography.

Out Of Her Mind touches on envy, fame, television, the insatiable drive to win, getting rich, getting the perfect body, marriage, kids, careers, and, above all, staying busy while looking like you’re having a nice day. (I have to go and see her!)

At some point in our lives, one in four of us will be affected by mental illness.

This acerbic and honest show sees Ruby bring her distinctive wit and worldly wisdom to tell how she is one of those people.

Forum Theatre Upstairs, Thurs March 28 to Thurs April 4, 9pm. 8pm Sundays.

Melbourne Town Hall – Lower Town Hall. April 1 only 8pm. Tickets and more information via Ticketmaster and tickets also available at the door.

Ellen the generous ● Ruby Wax My Mind show. Leg- too touching and inendary writer, come- spiring to miss.” dienne, interviewer Annie Lennox and documentary- praised “powerful, maker she will lead beautiful stuff … audiences through the kind that helps the bittersweet ups us recognise our coland downs of men- lective wounding tal illness, its stig- and pain”. mas, and the freeWith 25 years dom discovered hosting her own when you share television shows, life’s darkest mo- Ruby’s interview ments. technique quickly A former mem- gained notoriety. ber of The Royal She has interShakespeare Com- viewed Eddie Izzpany, Ruby recently ard, Pamela Andergraduated from Ox- son, Madonna, Boy ford University with George, OJ Simpson, a Master’s Degree and Joanna Lumley in mindfulness and I will never forbased cognitive get her interview therapy. with Liza Minnelli.

Ruby comes fresh Hilarious! from Losing It, her She was nomimost recent stand- nated for a BAFTA up show, which en- Award for her interjoyed rave reviews view with Sarah, and an extended run Duchess of York that by popular demand. attracted more than Joanna Lumley 14 million viewers. called it “too imporHer TED talk, tant, too funny and ‘What’s so funny thought-provoking, about mental ill-

■ I was so touched watching a story on Ellen DeGeneres making a generous donation to two young Aussie brothers who were so thrilled to be chosen in Sydney to go and visit her in LA. Dailius, 21, and Julian Wilson, 19, were overwhelmed on the show by a $25,000 donation from Ellen to help with costs for their father’s brain cancer.

Ellen soon made the decision to double the amount by joining forces with Dr Charlie Teo’s Cure For Life Foundation.

The boys’ father, Mark 50, was diagnosed with a meningioma. ● Turn To Page 13

● Maree Coote (see story at top)

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 6, 2013 - Page 9

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What’s On In Melbourne

Media Flash TOOTH FAIRY VISITS MONASH Briefs Neighbours ■ 3 Pin Oak Court, Vermont South, better known as 30 Ramsay St on Neighbours, was bought this week by Melbourne expatriate Andrew Whitney for more than $687,000.

Damaged

■ A Hamilton man, 20, has been charged with attempting to steal nine cars after smashing their windows. He allegedly sliced his leg open and cut a tendon, presenting at the Hamilton Hospital that night, where he was arrested by Police.

Birthday

● Glenn Ridge ■ Melbourne radio station MyMP celebrates its first birthday this month.

Fronted by presenters including Glenn Ridge, it went to air following the collapse of MTR 1377.

■ The Monash Children’s Hospital this week hosted a live performance of the Smile Solutions Tooth Fairy.

The Smile Solutions Tooth Fairy is a qualified dental nurse and a member of Smile Solutions’ clinical staff. Prior to working at Smile Solutions, she was a professional entertainer and has worked as Tinkerbell at Disneyland for a number of years.

The Tooth Fairy initiative is an educational initiative funded

by Australia’s largest private dental practice, Smile Solutions.

Inside news from TV, radio, press and online

Biggest editions since 80s Melbourne

Observer

● Daniella Chryssatis, 8, with the Tooth Fairy at Monash

LEGENDS OF THE SKIES

■ The atmospheric Australian National Aviation Museum at Moorabbin Airport will be the site for Legends Of The Skies, a performance project being presented from April 18 -27.

This collaborative 90-minute production, co-written and directed

by Maggie Morrison, Cheryl Threadgold and Jim Williams, pays tribute to air legends and their machines.

Maggie Morrison was initially inspired to pay homage to aviatrix and former Mayor of Mordialloc, Gertrude MacKenzie, after learning her land was once the site of Gertrude’s house.

Legends Of The Skies showcases the wonderful exhibition and work of volunteers at the Aviation Museum and brings legends to life such as Jean Batten, New Zealand aviator of the 1930s who flew oceanic flights from England to Australia, New Zealand and South America and the remarkable Harry Houdini, arguably reputed to have made the first sustained power-controlled flight over Diggers Rest in 1910, and

Melbourne Observations with Matt Bissett-Johnson

■ This week’s edition of the Melbourne Observer is the biggest since the 1980s, and possibly the mid-1970s. Publisher Ash Long says continuing growth in the Observer’s advertising sales is a vote of confidence by Australian businesses in the paper’s successful marketing program.

“Weighing in at 124 pages, and advertising the best of everything, we have not seen editions this big since the days of the Sunday Observer published by Maxwell Newton and Peter Isaacson,” Long said.

Tabloid for 91 years ■ Much fuss has been made by Fairfax Media this week that it has converted The Age from broadsheet to tabloid size.

Meanwhile, the Herald Sun has rolled up its sleeves for some good old-fashioned newspaper stoush, adding 20 pages daily.

It has been a tabloid for 91 years (1922).

Media Briefs ● Maggie Morrison looks set to take off on the Ceres, a ‘pre-loved’ aircraft built using discarded metal and debris and specifically created for agricultural use.

Photo: Malcolm Threadgold of course, Gertrude as a young airman, and ume coordinator.

The audience of 30 MacKenzie, who ran a much more.

Original music has per show will move flying school at Moorabbin Airport and a been written by Keith around the museum benearby park bears her Morgan and Alan tween scenes.

Season: April 18, 19, Crispin is lighting dename.

20, 25, 26, 27 at 8pm Then there is the signer.

Venue: Australian The cast includes story of the Aussie paratroopers who trained in Clare Andrews, Carlyn National Aviation MuDouglas DC3s to help Williams, Stephen seum, Second Ave, rescue prisoners-of-war Leeden, Rita Crispin, Moorabbin Airport.

Duration: 90 minutes at Sandakan in North Maggie Morrison, Borneo during World Debbie Keyt, Chris including interval Tickets: $20 incl.

War II, with disastrous Churchward, David consequences for the Dodd, Juliet Charles, show and light refreshPOWs when the opera- Jim Williams, Chris ments Bookings: www.try tion was cancelled, and Hunter, Ryan Jewell and booking.com/42941 the true life story of James Dodd.

Enquiries: 9580 2387 Stage management is Mordialloc resident, Frank Jones, telling of by Neil Barnett, and or 9589 4912.

- Cheryl Threadgold his fire-fighting work Julie Williams is cos-

$500 fine for sex worker ■ A 45-year-old woman caught acting as a sex worker without a licence said she was only cooking dinner for clients at her Bendigo business, reports The Advertiser.

Di Hu, a Chinese citizen who moved to Australia in 2008, was arrested in January and charged with operating an illegal brothel in Galvin St, in Bendigo’s CBD. “She pleaded guilty to knowingly carrying on business as a sex worker without a licence,” reported Josh Fagan.

Hu said she became involved in the sex industry to help pay for her daughter’s education at Melbourne University.

Hu was fined $500 without conviction.

■ Seven Network boss Kerry Stokes has bought a strategic parcel of shares in the Ten Network.

■ The Nine Network is in talks with Southern Cross Media about a possible $4 billion merger.

■ Fairfax Media has been removed from the Australian Stock Excvhange 100 Index after its market value plunged.

■ Latest radio ratings are on Page 112.

● Kerry Stokes

Loaded with local content ■ US billionaire Warren Buffett, 82, continues to buy newspaper businesses.

“Our goal is to keep our papers loaded with content of interest to our readers and to be paid appropriately by those who find us useful, whether the product they view is in their hands or on the Internet,” Buffett said.

● Warren Buffett

Distribution problems ■ “Late and non-delivery of the newspaper and billing issues have afflicted the first few months of Ballarat Distribution Centre’s contract to deliver The Courier and other papers throughout the region,” reports the Ballarat daily paper.

“BDC is the consolidation of seven newsagencies in Ballarat. They have joined as one co-operative, one collective,” says Kate McDonald.

Data was the biggest issue causing the problems, she said.

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Page 10 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 6, 2013 Melbourne

Observer

Ash On Wednesday

THANK YOU HARVES

A Freemason’s Little Black Book

Our Doors are Open!

In days gone by, men across this state could be seen mumbling words on trams and trains, memorising sentences from a 'little black book'.

Onlookers would have been naturally intrigued as to what they were quietly reciting under their breath, and what words they were so fervently trying to commit to memory.

More often than not, these men were Freemasons.

Times have certainly changed; these days trains are full of people reading the paper (the Melbourne Observer in particular) or listening to music, but if you look around for long enough, you might still see a man reading his little black book.

Yes, Freemasons still have that book, and while it hasn't been released as an 'app' or e-reader, it has progressed from a palm sized book to portable pocket-sized booklet.

But the words contained in it have not changed since Freemasonry's inception; that story will never change.

So what is this book? And what is in it?

Maybe you saw some beautiful examples of Masonic 'little black books' on the first episode of Freemasons: The Inside Story which aired on Channel 31 on Monday (Mar. 4) at 8:30pm?

This book is called a ritual book or ceremonial book. It contains the phrases Freemasons say in Lodge as part of a ceremonial play about morals and values.

It is no different to an actor's script in that it contains the individual parts for the officers of the Lodge who are the 'cast'.

This ceremonial play acted out in Lodge reminds Freemasons of the core teachings of Freemasonry which include being kind to one another, being respectful and honest, helping those in need, living a principled life and polishing your character.

In the Freemasons Victoria Museum and Library, you can see some outstanding handwritten examples of these 'little books' dating back to the early 1800s.

Don't forget to tune into Channel 31 every Monday night at 8.30pm to find out more about Freemasonry in Victoria.

To find out more about Freemasonry, how to become a member, attend upcoming public events, or to take a tour of the Masonic Centre, please visit www.freemasonsvic.net.au or 'Like' our Facebook page, www.facebook.com/ freemasonsvic for the most up to date information.

■ We pause to mourn the passing of Australian newsman Peter Harvey at the age of 68.

‘Harves’ had worked in the Nine Network newsroom, but started his working life on the Sydney Telegraph, and Newsweek and the Guardian.

Peter Harvey was the consummate story teller and a gifted writer. His television work was complemented by the ‘voice of God’.

He is best remembered for his sign-off ‘Peter Harvey, Canberra’ ... even though he was keen to remind us he hadn’t been based in the capital since the 1990s.

Peter Harvey is survived by wife Anne, daughter Claire, and son Adam.

Observer

People New Anna Flowers book ■ Australian netball champion Eloise Southby-Halbish is joining with comedic writer David Lawrence to release a new book, Anna Flowers.

To be published in the cioming month by Slattery Media Group, it is ideal for young netball lovers.

Anna Flowers deals with issues of loss, change and popularity.

● Peter Harvey

The Life I’d Like To Have

Long Shots

On the job ■ A reader ‘KM’ asks if I have done any work apart from editing newspapers.

I have been a supermarket shelf stacker, a beer truck driver, a bus refueller, a car wash operator, a service station manager, a shopping centre promotions manager, forklift driver, a snowball maker at a confectionery factor ... as well as a press hand, driver, warehouse supervisor, journalist, advertising salesman, classifieds ad manager, TV producer, editor and proprietor. Enough?

Ourselves ■ Our columnist John Pasquarelli is in the Mater Hospital, Townsville. His column will be back when he returns.

All the best Kojak.

Long Shots has been on the maintenance bench at the Nuclear Medicine Dept of Warringal Private Hospital.

Thanks to all there, especially ‘Dr Ken’, with whom we went to school, 40 years ago.

Boy, are we pleased that Ken did his chemistry homework in 1974.

It has been 4½-years since a heart attack made us miss an edition. We are back on the operating table this afternoon (Wed.). Hopefully, we are on the news-stands as normal next Wednesday.

editor@melbourneobserver.com.au

with Ash Long, Editor “For the cause that lacks assistance, ‘Gainst the wrongs that need resistance For the future in the distance, And the good that we can do”

Observer Treasury Thought For The Week ■ “The heaviest burdens in life are the things that might happen but don’t.”

Observer Curmudgeon ■ “It isn’t what you have, but what you are, that makes life worthwhile.”

Text For The Week ■ "To me belongeth vengeance and recompence; their foot shall slide in due time: for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things that shall come upon them make haste."

- Deuteronomy 32:35 The Melbourne Observer is printed by Streamline Press, 155 Johnston St, Fitzroy, for the publisher, Ash Long, for Local Media Pty Ltd, ABN 67 096 680 063, of the registered office, 30 Glen Gully Road, Eltham. Distributed by All Day Distribution. Responsibility for election and referendum comment is accepted by the Editor, Ash Long. Copyright © 2013, Local Media Pty Ltd. (ACN 096 680 063).

IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT COURT REPORTS Contents of Court Lists are intended for information purposes only. The lists are extracted from Court Lists, as supplied to the public, by the Magistrates’ Court of Victoria, often one week prior to publication date; for current Court lists, please contact the Court. Further details of cases are available at www.magistratescourt.vic.gov.au The Melbourne Observer shall in no event accept any liability for loss or damage suffered by any person or body due to information provided. The information is provided on the basis that persons accessing it undertake responsibility for assessing the relevance and accuracy of its content. No inference of a party’s guilt or innocence should be made by publication of their name as a defendant. Court schedules may be changed at any time for any reason, including withdrawal of the action by the Plaintiff/Applicant. E&OE.

● Peppa Sindar (left), Christine Husband and Carolyn Masson appear in The Life I’d Like To Have, opening at La Mama Theatre on March 13. Cheryl Threadgold has more details in the Observer Showbiz section.

Photo: Sarah Bourke

Pacific Arts Festival ■ The inaugural Contemporary Pacific Arts Festival will be held April 5-6 by the Footscray Community Arts Centre and the Big Island Collective, bringing together a series of events that showcase artists of Pacific Island heritage.

A Pacific Arts and Culture Forum will be held at the Footscray Community Arts Centre, Performance Space, 45 Moreland St, Footscray, on Friday, April 5. Speakers include Jacob Tolo, Kirsten Lyttle, Lia Pa’apa’a, Namila Benson, Taloi Havini and Sana Balai.

A community day will be held in the ampitheatre in Moreland St on Saturday, April 6.

Jukebox Saturday Night ■ Our old mate Ken Sparkes (remember him on 3UZ in the 60s?) has a new series of Jukenox Saturday Night starting on Aurora Channel 183 on Foxtel at 7.30pm Saturdays from March 16.

This is the third series of the popular series. Repeats are aired at 1.30pm Sundays and 9.30pm Tuesdays.

● Ken Spakes

Gold medal needed: Betty ■ Observer reader Betty Jeffrey of Glenburn writes: “Dear Ash and Fleur. Just noticed in the Feb. 6 issue of the Melbourne Observer that you have celebrated your 35th wedding anniversary. Congratulations to you both. Fleur, did you get a gold medal?”

Free reader ads are available in the Classifieds section of the ‘Melbourne Observer’

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 6, 2013 - Page 11

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Confidential Melbourne

Talk is cheap, gossip is priceless

Book planned on Melbourne Talk Radio ■ A former staff member who kept extensive diaries is planning to publish a tell-

all book about the people and circumstances behind the failure of Mebourne Talk

Radio 1377. The station was headed by Steve Price, and its line-up included Steve

Vizard, Martin King, Sam Newman, Glenn Ridge, Luke Grant and Jason Akermanis.

Whispers

Pull-out

ATTACK ON FOX-FM HOSTS

Bitch Melbourne’s Secrets

Cuckoo honours night

■ FOX FM radio hosts Matt Tilley and Jo Stanley have hit back at an online attack by Melbourne ‘comedienne” Catherine Deveny.

Deveny referred to a publicity photo of the top-rating radip air and posted a comment on Twitter: “This photo sums up everything that’s wrong with commercial radio. It’s about his head. It’s about her body. Yuk.” Tilley went on air to reply: “You’re out of line, lady. And I will say this. If everything aboput commercial radio is so yuck, then how come some years ago Catherone Deveny, you kept faxing me scripts to get on this show?”

Jo Stanley: “I actually find it kind of funny. I’ve been in radio so long that I’m used to certain people assuming that it is a very sexist industry - and for many women it has been that case, but for myself, I have only ever had incredible support on this show

Tilley: “I should say this to Catherine Deveny, yes, I’m on radio, yes, I’m in the public domain, yes, I have plenty to say.

But I don’t have a big head, and I don’t have a big ego.

“I don’t go to openings, you don’t see in the celebrity pages.

I’m just a dad with kids, who coaches their teams.

“You know what? You’ve missed the mark because you probably don’t listen .. this show is so dedicated towards equality and women, we’re largely based around women listening.”

● Matt Tilley and Jo Stanley in the Fox FM advertisement and here at Fox FM, and I’ve just “you know what, I don’t define myself by a photo, I define myself by what I say.”

HOLD THE PHONE, IT’S TELSTRA ● Gary Turner ■ An all-you-cat buffet lunch will be served when Mebourne media man Gary Turner hosts a ‘Royal Australian Honours luncheon’ at the Cuckoo Restaurant, Olinda, later this year.

“His Imperial Royal Highness Prince Regent Magnus Augustus I”, who also goes under the name Dr H.C. Claudio Marcio Lucena di Silva, is oficiating via his Australian representative, “Her Illustrious Highness, Countess Caroline Jean Leiternmaier”.

The Prince Regent’s honours are listed as “Sovereign and Gran (sic) Master of Sovereign Royal House Sefaradi, Prince of Russian Imperal House Rurikovich, Bishop of New Church of Sacred Russia, Prince and Duke of Gran (sic) Imperial Principally Gold Ferrari Rurikovich Windsor”.

Prince Regent-Gran Master-Bishop-Duke Rurikovich is not expected to attend at the Cuckoo.

However, members of the public are invited to pre-pay $65 for the Saturday lunch at the Olinda all-you-can-eatery. The price includes a complimentary glass of champagne, an award ceremony and presentations.

Entertainment will be provided by Judy Bitterman (who is also listed as the Cuckoo’s marketer and graphic designer), Marty Rose, Wilfgang Hildebrandt and the Austrian Edelweiss danbce group.

■ The Buloke Times says: “Some newspapers condemn gambling on their editorial pages, and print racing tips on their sporting pages.”

■ We have to feel sorry for 3AW-Magic 1278 personality Jane Holmes who has lent her voice to the automated answering computers at Telstra.

Every day and night, Telstra’s computer makes a mockery of Jane’s voice.

Take, for example, on Sunday when Telstra Bigpond’s internet cable service to the Melbourne Observer office ● Jane Holmes was broken.

At 10.10pm Sunday, we lodged a call with Telstra’s ‘Technical Support’. Jane’s recorded message said there was a 16-minute delay, and asked if we would like Telstra to call us back. “Press 1” for yes.

At 10.27pm, Telstra’s computer called us back.

Automated Jane sweetly asked: “Are you ready to take the call? Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.”

We pressed 1 and waited ... and waited. Jane’s recorded voice came back: “We’re currently experiencing technical dificulties. I’ll try back in five minutes.” Telstra hangs up.

The procedure is repeated at 10.33pm and 10.40pm. Jane again asks if we are ready to take the call. More technical difficulties. More hangups. We never did get to speak to a Telstra human.

■ “But wait, that’s not all.” On a separate matter, Jake from the ‘Telstra Customer Relations’ team phoned last week, and asked us to call on 1-800 814 242. We did. They couldn’t find a Jake.

Couldn’t tell us what the call was about. We wasted 30 minutes. Telstra’s Facebook page suggested we call 13 2200 and say ‘Complaints’. Pass.

● Catherine Deveny

● Kate Ceberano ■ Entertainer Kate Ceberano’s cancelled an interview with The Age newspaper and haven’t been back in touch with the newspaper.

Veteran scribe Lawrence Money tweeted: “Not winning media friends, Kate!”

■ PS: Whispers reckons Kate has plenty of media friends.

The Count

Rumour Mill

Hear It Here First

Good Morning Australia ■ Could we see a return of a reinvented Good Morning Australia TV program under the helm of the Ten’s newly-appointed Adam Boland?

Fair Work investigation ■ Sixty businesses in enteratainment industry are undergoing an audit by the Fair Work Ombudsman to check if pay rates are correct.

Lib candidate replaced ■ Jeff Shelley has been replaced as the Liberal candidate for the Federal seat of Isaacs.

Former military man, Garry Spencer, has taken the position.

The Age speculates that Shelley’s departure is related to his former employment at Col World solar insulation panels company.

E-Mail: Confidential@MelbourneObserver.com.au

● Lawrence Money ■ Age reporter Lawrence Money provided an analysis on The Age’s first day as a tabloid. It had 606 words on the front-page, compared to the Herald Sun’s 325.

He also compared centimetres in headlines and promotions. The only figures he skipped were the sales: The Age (157,480) and the HS (450,090).

Gastro ■ A two-week outbreak of gastro continues to afect 140 patients at Casey Aged Care at Narre Warren, say authorities.

Advice ● Jeff Shelley

■ “Opportunity is missed by some people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”

- Thomas Edison

Page 12 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 6, 2013

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au Melbourne

Observer

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 6, 2013 - Page 13

Showbiz Review

● From Page 8

HAIRSPRAY: IT’S FIRST CLASS ■ The Cardinia Performing Arts Company goes from strength to strength with each production, and Hairspray is no exception.

With cleverly designed sets, slick staging and creative scene transitions, this high-energy 1960s musical has been created by the outstanding team of director, Lee Geraghty and choreographer, Robert Mulholland, who are joined by musical director, Sally MacKenzie.

The story tells of Tracy Turnblad’s dream to appear on The Corny Collins Show. Tracy is portrayed by all-round musical theatre dynamo, Alex Kangur.

A first-class performance – and Alex’s bright smile will be the perfect antidote for patients when completing her nursing degree.

The vibrant ensemble is wellrehearsed, and the great vocal work includes the strong voices of Sarah Davis, (Velma Von Tussle), Maddison MacNamara (Motormouth Maybelle) and Sarah Pursell (Prison Matron).

The orchestra is terrific, but care needs to be taken that dialogue entwined with musical numbers is audible.

Limited space prevents mentioning everyone, but particular mention should be made of Aiden

Kyval (Link Larkin), Elise Cavallo (Penny Pingleton), charismatic David Carnie (Seaweed Stubbs), Josh Lovell (Corny Collins), Kate Trickey (Amber Von Tussle), Hazel Green (Prudy Pingleton) Annabelle Geordharry (Li’l Inez), Jayme-Lee Hanekom, Whitney Pereira and Emma Sparrow (Dynamites) and Lloyd Iaccarino’s characterisations.

The formidable, entertaining duo Dan Bellis (Edna Turnblad) and Richard Green (Wilbur Turnblad) perform a showstopper with You’re Timeless To Me. Does Tracey’s dream come true?

Turn To Page 17

Generous Ellen helps Australian family ■ Meningioma is a diverse set of tumours arising from the membranous layers surrounding the central nervous system, which was removed in late 2011 by the Neurology team at Royal North Shore Hospital.

He is still fighting a plethora of symptoms today caused by the complex surgery and medication but current scans show no signs of tumour regrowth.

The Cure for Life Foundation is the largest fundraiser for brain tumour research and awareness in Australia.

Established in 2003 by world-renowned neurosurgeon Dr Charlie Teo, the Cure For Life Foundation is making a major contribution to research of brain cancer.

Ellen De Generes, as we know, is due to hit our shores very soon for her first Australian visit and she is sure to catch up with the Wilson brothers again.

- Di Rolle

Melbourne

Observer Life & Style

PLEASE EXAMINE YOUR BREASTS

■ Every morning, my habit of many years kicks in the moment my feet touch the floor.

No matter how tired I am I still check the calendar that hangs in the kitchen to see what my commitments are for the day.

It could be three o’clock in the morning, or later, but it’s a habit of long standing.

The important days on the calendar are marked with a big red dot to make it easy for tired eyes to see.

Yesterday the almanac not only showed a red dot, but a very big letter M that was circled.

It didn’t stand for lunch at McDonalds, but an appointment with BreastScreen Victoria for my slightly overdue mammogram.

The minute I saw the big M I knew that I couldn’t slide back into bed, because I had to hunt out my best bras.

These bras are made from guipure lace and cost a fortune. I’ve had them for yonks because I save them for best.

Deodorant and powder

■ The weather was not on my side because already the temperature was in the high 30s, and I still remember at my first breast screening being told that deodorant and powder was not permitted. I was never told why.

I rang BreastScreen Victoria and asked about deodorant and powder and was told that it wasn’t necessary to deprive myself and it was perfectly safe. Thank heavens for that.

What has happened to my breasts since the days when I had been known to stuff my bras with tissue. I graduated to padded bras and never looked back.

Until, of course, came the day when tissues would have been gilding the lily and I graduated to a slightly larger size.

How can breasts increase in size in such a sneaky manner, and then when you are trying to decrease in size, they seem to grow larger.

Come in three sizes

■ We laughed, rather smugly I seem to remember when a friend related the story of Cecil Beaton, the royal photographer talking about breasts and comparing them to roses, and said that they came in three sizes: rosebuds, cabbages and floppies.

I related this story to the radiographer who was doing the mammogram and she fell about.

She had never heard breasts referred to in such terms. I bet she will think of Cecil Beaton every time she sees a new woman take off her top.

Yvonne’s Column

with Yvonne Lawrence yvonne.lawrence@bigpond.com

And when she compressed my breast to get a clear picture on the X-ray I laughed and said I can go one better than Cecil’s floppies, what about pancakes?

The radiographer was so charming, and she answered all of my questions, and believe me, I had plenty.

In fact, from the moment I walked in the door every staff member was a delight.

Being greeted with friendly smiles gives confidence to those women who don’t know what is in store.

Having all female staff is somehow reassuring.

Keeping appointments ■ I’m usually so meticulous about keeping medical appointments and after having a couple of frights I don’t know why I was late with making this one.

One time I was diligently self- examining under the shower and found a lump.

Still dripping wet I phoned my doctor and said I’d found a lump and I had to see him that morning.

He told me to settle down and he made an appointment for next morning with the instruction to go to work and not think about it.

How could I not? I knew that’s where my mind would be the entire day. With every minute and every breath all I could think of was the big C. Somehow I got through meetings, but it was dreadful day.

Next morning I woke up and felt my breasts only to find that the lump had multiplied in the night.

It turned out I had mastitis. It was painful, but it soon went away much to my relief.

Every two years ■ The next time was when I received a letter after a mammogram that advised me to see my doctor who had the results of the screening.

Again it was nothing, but I vowed never to neglect a screening every two years.

Fifty per cent of women diagnosed with breast cancer are aged 50-69.

This is the reason why a breast screening mammogram once every two years is primarily recommended for women in this age group.

However, if you are over 70, you are outside the Breastscreen program’s target age range for screening, and therefore won’t receive a letter from Breastscreen Victoria.

You are welcome to have a free breast screening mammogram with them every two years.

We are told that it is important for all women to know the normal look and feel of their breasts. If you notice any changes it’s important to see your doctor.

Talk to your doctor ■ I have to confess that I am hopeless at self-examination. If I clear my mind and concentrate very hard I end up finding all sorts of things that aren’t there, so it’s important to have your mammogram and of course talk to your doctor.

There are some women who tell me they would be too embarrassed to ask their doctor to examine their breasts.

I never know why, because he or she would have seen hundreds of breasts in every shape and size. I suggest that they teach their partner how to examine their breasts.

We’ve come a long way with our attitude towards breast cancer. Once it was never spoken of, and now we proudly wear pink to support all women where breast cancer has been detected.

Extension of our bodies ■ My soul mate Peter was very patient and waited in the waiting room for me.

He asked me what we were laughing about because we could be heard loud and clear. I told him many things, but Cecil Beaton's story caused the loudest.

Actually, Peter made a good point. When you enter the screening center there is a large notice asking you to please switch off your mobile phone.

The three women, who came in after me, sat down and immediately started to use their mobiles: one talking, two texting.

Has it reached the point when mobiles have become an extension of our bodies?

Can’t we go a second without texting someone or having a loud nonsensical conversation? I asked Peter why he didn’t say something to the receptionist and let her deal with it.

Ever been somewhere when a girl will phone her boyfriend and hear the conversation? It’s sickening. I’m sure the girl doesn’t think that those around her can hear her drivel.

It was an interesting day and fortunately the rain came down in buckets. I didn’t care that I looked like a drowned rat when we ran to the car. I felt good. Dare I say it was a pleasurable experience?

Know your breasts

■ My advice is to get to know your breasts.

You’ll know if there are any changes.

Women of all ages should become familiar with their breasts, but it becomes more important as you get older as the risk of breast cancer increases with age.

Just remember that one out of 10 changes are not breast cancer, however it always important to have any changes checked out by your doctor without any delays.

BreastScreen Victoria is easy to find.

To make a free appointment phone them on 13 20 50.

You’ll also find them on www.

Breastscreen.org.au

Rain brings happiness

■ The rain has brought much happiness, not only to the garden, but also to the birds that stalk around the garden beds waiting for worms to pop up.

I can’t tell you enough how the hot weather affects me. I wanted to retire to Tuscany, but the weather is hotter than here, and they don’t have four changes of season in one day as we Victorians experience. So that is now out.

Tasmania is my next choice, but then it’s too cold in the winter for my other half.

With the soaring cost of gas and electricity who can afford these days to keep warm? I’ll wait until my next power bill comes in to see if I’ll stay.

We are on the cusp of autumn so hopefully the days will be balmy, but with a little rain, and a few rays of sunshine.

It’s also a time when can grub in the garden whilst planting out bulbs and preparing for the big spring show.

It always seems such a shame that after all that waiting the flowering bulbs last such a short time.

Yvonne Contact: Melbourne Observer PO Box 1278, Research, 3095

Page 14 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 6, 2013

■ The first time I can recall seeing Ed Devereaux was in a mini series on ABC television titled My Brother Jack.

The program was of great interest to me because my brother's name was Jack.

I thought the series was great - it was in black-and-white and it screened in 1965. But I obviously had not been paying proper attention because I had actually seen Ed in many films and television shows without realising who he was.

Edward Devereaux was born in 1925 in North Sydney. He was one of 10 children and came from a working class Catholic family.

He became a boy soprano and in his younger days worked as a storeman, taxi driver and truck driver.

Ed served in the Australian Army in New Guinea during the Second World War. In 1944 he joined The Gladys Moncrieff Company and toured Australia performing in musicals.

He became the band singer with the Monte Richardson Orchestra and sang on the Bob Dyer radio program Can You Take It? Ed appeared in several Australian films Smithy and Eureka Stockade.

In the early 1950s Ed Devereaux moved to England to try his luck as an actor.

He married Irene Champion in 1952; together they had four children.

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Whatever Happened To ...

Ed Devereaux

By Kevin Trask of 3AW and 96.5 Inner FM Ed played Sky Masterson in the stage musical Guys And Dolls and performed in several Command Performances.

His first British film role was in 1955 when he played a small role in a film titled Little Red Monkey.

Ed managed to get bigger parts in films such as Carry On Sergeant, The Wrong Arm Of The Law, The Captain's Table and Carry On Nurse.

Ed Devereaux returned to Australia in 1966 to appear in the film They're A Weird Mob. The following year he got the role of Matt Hammond, head ranger at Waratah National Park where he was part of the regular

● Ed Devereaux cast starring with Garry Pankhurst, Ken James and Tony Bonner in the children's television series Skippy.

Several years ago I spoke to the late John McCallum, who was one of the producers of the series and John told me that Skippy The Bush Kangaroo was so successful it

was sold to more than 80 countries throughout the world.

The series gave Ed Devereaux an international profile.

When Skippy finished production in 1970 Ed returned to singing and acting.

He went back to England with his family and appeared in many of the popular television series such as The Sweeney, The Professionals, The Onedin Line and The Persuaders.

He starred in several Australian plays in the UK, The Removalist and Last Of The Knucklemen.

Ed returned to Australia many times for acting roles and he was wonderful in The Dismissal in 1983 where he played Phillip Lynch.

Irene and Ed were divorced in 1986 and in the same year he married Julie - they were married for 17 years up till his death.

Ed Devereaux passed away in 2003 in Hampstead, England, of cancer at the age of 78.

- Kevin Trask The Time Tunnel - with Bruce & PhilSundays at 8.20pm on 3AW That's Entertainment - 96.5FM Sundays at 12Noon 96.5FM is streaming on the internet.

To listen, go to www.innerfm.org.au and follow the prompts.

FINAL COUNTDOWN FOR BOJANGLES?

■ Any guesses as to where this may have happened?

A gentleman was apprehended by police last week: he was driving in an alcohol-restricted zone when he was pulled over, and there was an unrestrained nine-monthold baby in the car, being held by a passenger.

The gentleman had been disqualified for driving for 10 years in 2004, and a warrant was out for his arrest for his failure to appear at a court hearing for more offences.

And he has been convicted seven times for driving around whilst being disqualified.

And, to add insult to injury, as well as the baby, his car was loaded up with 60 cans of beer and a bottle of rum!

"This is beyond irresponsible it's beyond belief!" the policeman noted.

Yes, Alice Springs!

■ It's interesting to note how messages from infancy, inculcated from parents' fears and attitudes, can influence behaviour and attitudes in adulthood.

I've got three Stimsons' Pythons from Alice Springs in my shop in Flinders Lane.

They're related to the popular Children's Python, and only grow to about three feet.

They are constrictors, squeezing their prey, and have no venom.

And they're completely docile and harmless, and never bite; just as tame and friendly as a pet white mouse.

And yet most overseas visitors, as well as Aussies, even when he told all this, and watching them slowly and peacefully wrapping around my arm, will still only approach them with great fear.

Some will summon the courage to touch, or even hold them, then again, fearfully. Some won't even come into the room!

All this from childhood parental influence!

And more about children and snakes - I've recently noted that my mates Justin Rutherford and Rex Neindorf, the local snake catchers, have been flat out around town.

As well as the usual pools and kitchens, deadly Western Browns

The Outback Legend

with Nick Le Souef Lightning Ridge Opals 175 Flinders Lane, Melbourne Phone 9654 4444 www.opals.net.au have been slithering into the grounds of the Our Lady of the Sacred Heart College, and the local Steiner School.

"The kids are pretty cool about it," reports a teacher. "They don't care any more - it's just part of the curriculum now."

They seem to be overcoming at least some of their negative childhood issues at an early age!

■ Now there's another potential victim to the turndown in tourism - Bo's!

Bojangles Tavern was temporarily closed last year, and reopened again recently, with new management.

My mates Chris and Avril Vaughan ran it for years before that, and it was always packed out all weekend, particularly on Friday and Saturday nights.

Ozzie and I would always begin our Friday night pub crawls there, and often we'd just stay there.

This was an institution for years, with a line at the front door

always waiting to get in, like some trendy city disco.

Its walls are covered with Australian and NT memorabilia, so its ambience is typical ‘bush pub’.

Backpackers, local aborigines, ringers, bikies, local business tycoons, and American Pine Gap personnel always congregated and rubbed shoulders there, and business always boomed.

Tour guides, who were treated to a free drink or two, would always bring their bus loads of tourists in.

Many of these tourists were nubile young Scandinavian and European backpackers, so this obviously attracted some of the local cowboys in to try their luck!

I always took Keith and Angie McGowan there, where Angie and I would gobble down camel and kangaroo steaks. Not Keith though!

Chris had installed a camera on the ceiling, connected to a website, whereby backpackers could wave live to loved ones back home in Stockholm or Zurich.

Now, alas, there's a tourism downturn, so new managers Wayne Bottomley and Liz Winters are pleading for more locals to come in and support them.

They've got six weeks to turn the numbers around, or it's the receivers.

Hope they make it!

■ Often when I drove along the Lasseter Highway out to the Rock, I'd be waved down by a motorist whose car had obviously broken down. Often there were others of his family nearby.

The request was for petrol or oil or jumper leads, none of which I carried, and then sometimes a demand for alcohol and cigarettes from a drunken head shoved into the open window into my face. So I gave up stopping in the end.

O ccasionally a group of people would stand across the road, brandishing rocks, forcing tourists' cars to stop. They would then be robbed.

A German couple last week suffered a similar fate. They were in a campervan at Ellery Creek Big Hole when a group of young men drove up, and demanded that they open the van.

When they refused, the group armed themselves with rocks and smashed the windows.

Then some money was produced and they left.

Great for Alice Springs tourism.

■ Another icon which experienced a bit of a scare recently was the Ross River homestead.

One of the many fires in the Centre came perilously close to ending its tenure.

The camping ground was razed, but luckily it was contained before it engulfed the main buildings.

The homestead, built in the 1890s, is now owned by Bruno Grollo, who loves the area and often visits.

I would often drive out the 80ks for weekend tourism functions, or just to have a drink with my mate Greg, who ran the place.

There are about 30 cabins, ba-

sic but comfortable, and there was the occasional ‘Bush Pig’ disco for backpackers, and the surroundings are just breathtaking Outback, with gorges and the dry riverbed and stunning rock formations.

I was never one for touristy stuff - I'd often see people riding smelly, uncouth camels around the place.

I just liked roaming around the bush in my 4WD, especially to the nearby spectacular Trephina Gorge, or breasting the bar with Greg and my mates.

And then there is the friendly poltergeist in the homestead.

According to Greg, it bumped around, and moved furniture about, and changed breakfast cutlery settings during the night.

Happily Ross River lives to inspire Outback travellers for another day!

- Nick Le Souef ‘The Outback Legend’

Patrick Roberts performs at Crown ■ Australia's acclaimed violinist Patrick Roberts returns to The Palms At Crown on May 4 for a night of music, performing songs

by Frank Sinatra, Michael Jackson, The Beatles and Queen. He is best known for his passionate renditions of classical masterpieces Since Patrick's last concert at The Palms in February last year, he has been kept busy touring internationally, as well as performances in Melbourne on Carols By Candlelight and a special performance filmed on location at the new Royal Children's Hospital for the Good Friday Appeal.

Patrick's history in music is comprehensive, going back to when he first picked up the violin at eight years of age.

From then on, his whole life was built around the violin, studying at the Conservatorium of Music where he later taught.

Book at Ticketek: www.crownmelbourne.com.au/Patrick-Roberts/ Or call Ticketek on 132 849

From The Outer

Melbourne

Observer

kojak@ mmnet.com.au

With John Pasquarelli

■ John Pasquarelli has been admitted to Mater Hospital in Townsville. His column will return when he does. In the meantime, he send best wishes to ‘JP’.

- John Pasquarelli: kojak@mmnet.com.au