Melbourne Observer. 120307D. March 7, 2012. Part D. Pages 25-28, 45-46

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 - Page 25

Melbourne

Observer Magazine

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THE GRAHAM KENNEDY LETTERS WARNING The contents of this feature contain language which may offend.

GRAHAM KENNEDY REVEALS HIMSELF in his letters Copyright © 2012, Henry Gay

● ‘Dear Henry, Just a note!

Graham.’ Posted from PO Box 561, Milsons Point NSW 2061 ■ So began one of the many letters Graham Kennedy sent me in the last 30 years of our 50 years' friendship which began at 3UZ, the Melbourne radio station's record library in 1950.

I was under the impression publishers would vie with each other to publish his letters but how wrong I was.

They were not interested, so I adapted excerpts of the letters into a play, Graham Kennedy On Graham Kennedy, to be performed with another friend of Graham, Jim Murphy and myself, but was told by entrepreneurs it would only be successful if famous actors played the roles.

Not knowing Geoffrey Rush nor Russell Crowe the play has been shelved.

Also, I wondered, would Messrs

● Graham Kennedy, the ‘King’ of Australian television, wrote reams of private letters to his ‘oldest living friend’, Henry Gay. A selection of these letters is published today for the first time.

Rush and Crowe toss a coin to see veal the action here but maybe, God willing, when I reach 100. All that is who wouldn't play me.

In fact, as a result of a phone call revealed on the following pages is from our youngest son, Christopher, what Graham reveals plus a few anon the night of Graham's death, I sat ecdotes from something Graham had down and wrote a play involving a not written which spring mind (parts of very nice action in which Graham which I'm constantly losing everywas a prime mover but I will not re- day).. .

I can understand why publishers rejected publishing the letters Graham Kennedy sent to Hervey Bay, Queensland, where my family and I moved to in 1978.

The publishers all demanded the same thing with the letters, though they didn't express it as such except one, they were only interested in the letters if they were controversial, mainly his sex life..

They were hoping the letters contained steaming homosexual liaisons with famous people, and gossip about the people with whom he worked.

These letters almost make it an autobiography by Graham Kennedy. He is not the person seen every night on television, nor what his fans would think he was like.

As a matter of interest I don't think Graham wasted his time on anyone he didn't like though, like all top name performers, he used people whom he ● Graham Kennedy with a Clydesdale foal at his NSW property didn't consider his friends who often ‘Clydesdale’ in the NSW Southern Highlands, in a photograph sent they declared themselves to be his to his ‘oldest living friend’ Henry Gay friends..

EXCLUSIVE: PUBLISHED FOR THE FIRST TIME Graham Kennedy and Henry Gay first met as workmates at Melbourne radio station 3UZ in the early 1950s. Graham’s career saw him become the ‘King’ of Australian television with shows including IMT, Coast To Coast and Blankety Blanks. Until his death in 2005, Graham wrote often to Henry and his wife Maureen, revealing his most private thoughts. An initial batch of these letters are published this week for the first time.

● Henry Gay

● Graham Kennedy writes to Henry Gay, describing him as his ‘oldest living friend’. The pair wrote letters to each other for decades.

Even a television station, which will be nameless, has (or had) an executive who told me that no one would be interested in Graham Kennedy these days and they were now concentrating on a younger audience under 39..

A week later they revived a one time popular Saturday night show, presented by a compere (now in his 50s) having a successful return but the executive must have been disappointed for it didn't attract the audience he was after.

Perhaps the executive was right.

Audiences have changed.

I have no intention of analyising the success or the character of Graham Kennedy. The letters will do it much better. Hopefully the letters, and even the little bits I write, will give you another insight of this unique person.

If I may offer one personal thought and, though he was more admired for his talents than the person himself, I,

for one, liked him better as a person than his TV performances, the reason being I knew him as a person before he became ‘The King’ sharing his interests in music and show business.

When people ask me why we were friends for so long I reply , "Because I was never a threat."

Most of my friends call me a "cynical bastard" and they are right on two accounts. You will discover that Graham was nearly one, too.

The people working with Graham were all aware of his sexuality but, being professionals, the private life of their colleague wasn't their concern; there may have been the odd moments but really, they couldn't have cared less because Graham's performances on TV provided them with a living and the television stations a steady income and profit,. .

Many hated him but admired his talent. ● Turn To Page 26

Page 26 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012

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THE GRAHAM KENNEDY LETTERS ‘It was distressing to watch Harry M Miller destroy himself’ ● Harry M Miller

‘Of course I’ll let you have $5 million’

● From Page 25 One of the highlights of In Melbourne Tonight was the segment in which Bert Newton and Graham would spend 10 minutes in a routine that the viewers always thought were ‘off the cuff’ but it was a well rehearsed spot.

It was also an opportunity for Graham to remind viewers of Bert's religion (Catholic) and suggesting he drank a lot; Graham occasionally played ‘camp’ roles but, according to Bert who told Maureen, my wife, that if the ‘camp bit’ went too long, Graham would often say, "That's it, my mother may be watching."

As you will discover, this was a strange remark when you read one of his letters about his mother.

Divorce was a taboo subject with him. In a play we were both in I asked an actor why he was getting divorced and Graham said to me in a voice of disapproval, "You don't ask people that."

The tone of his voice made me never mention or discuss divorce again. In several of his letters you'll find why. .

He was deeply hurt when I didn't invite him to my 21st birthday and I don't think he ever forgave me.

The reason I didn't invite him was because most of those who attended were members of the football team I played with and I wasn't sure if he would mix in with them but, when he became involved in a church concert with them, there were no problems.

He mixed in well with them. This was probably his second public performance. The year, by the way, was 1951.

As you read Graham's letters you will begin to see another person emerge, surprising you not only by his humour, but by his interests and attitudes towards his parents.

I think he missed a normal family life. A friend and his young daughter and her friend once visited Graham's Frankston home and as they watched the two young girls swimming Graham remarked how nice it was sit and watch the kids having fun.

You may be surprised, or even shocked by the remarks he makes about his parents, but one interesting theme running through his correspondence was the referral to his age and health. If you didn't know him you would think he had suicidal tendencies ... One of the strongest links of our friendship was music.

The last names are family members, my wife and two of our three sons. Several of his letters have referred to suicides. One very depressing letter referred to George Sanders' successful attempt at dispatching himself..

The $28,000 he mentions in the letter (at left) caused him much pain though, at the time, I was unaware of it until I had lunch with him one Saturday afternoon in Sydney as I went down to meet Maureen and a friend, Laurel Hosking, returning from a Mary Kay seminar in Melbourne.

Graham cooked spaghetti with a very tasty homemade sauce, based on a recipe given to him by an aunt who had married an Italian.

It was during this lunch in his Hunters Hill flat, sharing a bottle of red, that I paid him a compliment on his loyalty to Harry M Miller during his imprisonment. Almost spilling his drink Graham immediately changed the friendly mood to one of anger telling me that he was taking Harry to court over secret commissions.

Graham told me that Harry, on behalf of Channel 9, had asked him to come back to do a news show at night. It was good money.

Contents of this feature contain language which may offend

● Graham Kennedy crowned as TV ‘king’ in 1969 Graham said he didn't want to do it Dusty Springfield, Gene Pitney and but Harry said that if Graham did the to my shame I can't remember the show he (Harry) would give his com- name of the group. mission to any charity he nominated.

Harry also promised to have our Graham agreed if the money went young announcer, (can't say blind to the Sydney City Mission, but he these days), Grantley Dee. born not found out that Harry was receiving a being able to see anything, to sing on commission. Graham felt betrayed. the show, Then the mood changed, we just chatI came up with the idea that we ted about other things and I never look for someone to produce the show. mentioned the subject again. How- What order should they artists be in, ever, it still rankled with Graham, etc. We got thousands of entries and hence these letters. the winner was an attractive girl.

I never broached the subject again However, there was a snag ... it but after reading and enjoying Harry wasn't until her name became public M Miller's second book published in after it was announced on the air that 2010 there was a tone of forgiveness she worked at the opposition radio staon Harry's part in it, tion, 3UZ, we felt we had no other My personal opinion is that Harry option but to employ her and she fiwas only doing his job and, at the time, I didn't have the nerve to say to Gra- nally married one of our turntable ham, "Hey, would you be living here operators.

Back to Harry M Miller's first pop if it wasn't for Harry's entrepreneurshow.

We met the artists on the tarmac ial flair?"

When I was at 3AK Harry asked at the Essendon Airport to welcome us to come up with a promotion for them on an outside broadcast. . ● Turn To Page 27 his first big pop show featuring

‘I didn’t care all that much for my parents’

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 - Page 27

THE GRAHAM KENNEDY LETTERS

● From Page 26 During Graham Boyd's interview with Dusty Springfield she asked him what day it was.

"Sunday," said Graham to which Dusty replied, "Oh, hell is it?"

We sort of trembled if anyone was to complain to the Broadcasting Control Board. Things were a little different in those days. Hell and Damn weren't words the listeners were entitled or allowed to hear.

Reminds me of the time when I went into the studio while Nicky and Graham were on the ‘air’, to look for some papers and Nicky went crook muttering something about leaving things alone.

Two days later Nicky told me he hadn't slept for two nights because of me. He said he had told me "to leave those bloody papers alone."

He was waiting for someone to ring up to complain to the Broadcasting Control Board. In those days bloody would get you taken off the air for good.. These days to get on the air it's almost customary to use it..

At the Essendon Airport while Miss Springfield was being interviewed I noticed a young man sitting on a bag with his head in his hands looking completely lost.

I went up to him asking if, by any chance, he was Gene Pitney. He nodded his head Harry had given us a bonus as we were only expecting Dusty Springfield who, by the way, was wearing more make-up than Maureen used to keep in the cupboard when she was a director with Mary Kay cosmetics.

I suggested to Gene Pitney that he had a good voice for musical comedy songs. I'm ashamed to say that later Pitney did record an album of musical comedy songs and it wasn't one of his best sellers.

One more Harry M Miller story.

In another show he had this young New Zealand girl whose name we had never heard before. A panel operator, Graham Lever, said there was a record of hers somewhere. He found it, we liked it. and it became the Edison Award record of the week

● Graham Kennedy lost $75,000 in his lawsuit against Harry M Miller, even though he won the case which meant that it was played every Square Laddie, a parody on My Fair hour.

Lady, featuring Reginald Gardiner and The reason we had to play it was Zasu Pitts with some orchestrations that Harry was very clever in pro- by Billy May. (now available on CD) moting the show as he said the names I also remember another artist of the performers all in breath and Harry brought out, comedian , in the there was no way could edit or re- foyer of the Southern Cross Hotel, move a single name so we had no sitting on a footstool, crying his heart choice but to play her. out.

Her name was Dinah Lee and the Harry went into the classical marrecord was Don't You Know Yokomo. ket. How well I remember the recepAnd it became a big hit. tion for that wonderful pianist, Arthur The other radio stations accused Rubenstien and his youthful family EMI of giving us preferential treat- for two reasons. The first involving ment but EMI had pleasure in telling him telling me a joke when all of all them the record had been released of a sudden his fingers were grabbed for two months. Dinah was a New by a radio man, Jim Archer, who said, Zealander and so was Harry.

"Gee, Maestro, you have very thick I just remembered many of us im- fingers for a pianist." porting a record from New Zealand Mr Rubenstein ignored Archer, which Harry was the distributor, My took a deep breath, placed his hands on my shoulders saying, :You wish to hear the end of this story?" The other reason. Ah, yes. It was the day I became engaged to Maureen, but don't ask me what the date was..

Digressing again from Graham and Harry. I remember another reception in honour of the then popular Italian singer, Nella Pizzi, who was aged about 40 years and accompanied by a very good looking gigolo of some 20 summers attracting the attention of the late 3KZ radio announcer, Jim Archer, who had a plaster covered arm in a sling. Try as Jim might, he never got near the young lad as the singer well aware what Archer had in mind, and each time Archer got within an arm's length, (not the one in the sling), Miss Pizzi was standing between them.

During a lull in the proceedings I asked Jim what had happened to the arm in the sling. His reply was, "A sailor broke it." I didn't pursue the matter any further but was surprised to hear that, in 2010, Miss Pizzi was in her 90th year. I suppose by then she still has a younger man with her, probably aged about 70..

But Graham wouldn't let go of the Harry M Miller affair but it was the last time he refers to it.. In fact he had more personal matters in mind..

In the play, based on the letters, I used the last paragraph of the above letter as the final part with the friend,.

Jim Murphy, asking me what did I do about answering re the "affair". I ● Channel 9 owner Sir Frank Packer was reported not to have replied, "I just wrote back to Graham liked Graham Kennedy because of his homosexuality telling him to pull himself together."

Contents of this feature contain language which may offend

‘All this is confidential, of course’

Graham mentions two people from the early days at 3UZ, former Sales Manager, Bill Holmes and Dick Magree, who played an important part in Graham's film career, as he was the first to write a screen script for Graham.

During the 1950s and '60s Dick Magree was the Continuity Manager at 3UZ and as a part-time earner he wrote comedy scripts for an early Crawford TV production based in a cchoolroom. Cricket mad Dick was also an amateur potter, making tiles, at which later he became professional, leaving radio to have a successful career in tiling and pottery.

Like so many other radio people, Dick began his career in country radio, where he gathered a fund of stories. His story about a junior radio announcer, is one of the funniest I have heard and later, at a funeral, Dick told mourners too, who at first were shocked but he brilliantly added a rider: It was about a talented radio announcer, pianist, singer and occasional song writer, Ron Cadee, who was later known, for obvious reasons, as ‘Cadee the Ladee’. Ron worked at a Melbourne radio station where many of the male staff had their names converted to female counterparts. For instance, football commentator, Phil Gibbs, was known as ‘Phyllis’, etc, but I didn't know what name Jim Archer was called. Jemina ?

When our family migrated to Hervey Bay I was surprised to learn that Ron lived on Fraser Island and even more surprised when I saw him conducting a show on local TV with Rugby League players. Locally Ron wore a kaftan .

Dick told me the following story:

A young 17-year-old Ron Cadee had been at the country radio station for a fortnight when one day he asked the Manager, Keith Barnes, if he could have a private talk with him.

Barnes agreed and as Cadee began Barnes interrupted him saying, "Look. Ron, I understand your problem. There are men who chase sheilas and there are men who chase men and I'm aware that you belong to the latter."

"Oh, Mr. Barnes, it's worse than that."

Barnes replied, "What is it then, Ron?" Ron Cadee took a deep breath, looked at his manager, saying, "You see, Mr. Barnes, I'm in love with you."

Sixty years later at Keith Barnes funeral, Dick told the mourners the above story. For a moment there was the sound of silent shock waves wafting through the funeral parlour, but it was broken when Dick added, "You see, no matter who it was, everyone loved Keith."

But back to the first film Graham made.

It was in 1954 Graham appeared in his first film, an advertising short to be featured in theatres, advertising Sennitt's Ice Cream, scripted by the then 3UZ's Continuity Manager, Dick Magree.

Along with his mentor, Nicky, Graham were French Foreign Legionnaires who had lost their way in the desert, .both suffering from the cruel rays of the sun when, all of a sudden. they are saved by finding two tubs of Sennitt's Ice Cream.

I am indebted to Dick Magree who wrote the following in 2005.: ● Turn To Page 28

Page 28 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012

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THE GRAHAM KENNEDY LETTERS

● Graham Kennedy with Barry Creyton and Noeline Brown on the set of Blankety Blanks

‘I cannot be shocked by anything now’

‘I’ve been blackmailed into a GK book’

● From Page 27 "Lew Bennett, 3UZ General Manager, was friendly with one Roy Driver, manager of Herschel Films.

“Roy asked Lew to recommend a writer and I got the job. Consequently I could always take time off if Herschel Films needed me..

"Sometimes they would present me with some film they had shot and I would have to write words to fit.

Other times, as in the case of the Sennits' Ice Cream bit I was asked to plan the thing.

"I remember starting off asking Nicky what he and Graham would want to do in the film. Nicky asked for £10 and £5 for Graham. I think I got about £7."

The second film in which the aforementioned Dick Magree, was employed as an extra along with Graham in 1956 was Stanley Kramer's On The Beach, starring Gregory Peck, Fred Astaire, Ava Gardner and Tony Perkins.

However, the night club scene in which Graham was one of its patrons, filmed at night with other Australian actors, was left on the cutting room floor.

The highlight at that time for me was the Frank Sinatra concert.

Frank, at the time married to the lovely Ava. Years later, on meeting the poet and writer, Robert Graves, author of I, Claudius and the best book about WWI, Goodbye To All That, I wanted to ask him if he went to bed with Ava as he wrote an essay about the time she visited him on his Greek island as he was certainly infatuated with her for his essay read more like a literary Fanny Hill.

Mr. Graves was certainly smitten with Ava. Who could blame him?

Graham's third film, based on the John O'Grady's best seller They're A Weird Mob, became a successful film.

Graham appeared as himself . More of his film career later.

As mentioned earlier everyone at Channel 9 was aware of Graham's sexual orientation and it was only on rare occasions that it was used as the basis for a practical joke.

There is a story about a visiting comedian who referred to Graham's sexual preference on IMT and was on the next plane back to the USA. Maybe the story was apocryphal but I remember seeing the comedian at the Tivoli Theatre singing Christmas Island.. This was before television .

Gerald Stone, in his book, Who Killed Channel 9 mentions the fact that Sir Frank Packer didn't like Graham because he thought he was a homosexual.

I don't know who suggested it to Graham Kennedy, but there was a bright young attractive production assistant, Wendy, who was really a young 19-year-old boy. who liked wearing girls clothes, having the voice like an angelic 13-year-old choir boy Wendy used her wonderful voice in a choir.

Wendy, at the time, not aware of this story, wondered why Graham called in to her office to say hullo, was even more puzzled why Graham dropped his pencil twice on the floor near her legs as he crawled around retrieving the pencil.

Contents of this feature contain language which may offend

● ‘Nicky’ (Clifford Nicholls Whitta) with Graham Kennedy The radio station for which I Wendy said Graham lost interest in her when he discovered she didn't worked, 3AK, decided to take the Stones on a boat trip out to Port Phillip have testicles.

In writing the above I emailed a Bay. copy of this to Wendy who replied Accompanying the Stones was (below). one of the rudest men I have ever met, Believe it or not I was surprised Andrew Loog Oldham. He was the discovering Graham was interested Manager of the Rolling Stones, obviin politics. On reading of the forma- ously responsible for their successful tion of the Pauline Hanson party, One image.

Nation, he was keen in finding out The radio station ran a competimore about one of the persons involved tion for three kids to be guests aboard with her. the boat. The three winners, aged 21, I think the first public meeting of 17 and 16, had the time of their lives the Pauline Hanson party was held in talking with the various members of Hervey Bay at the local RSL Hall. the Stones.

Hervey Bay was also the location I had never heard such language for the launch of Joh For PM cam- and thought the school kids would repaign. That was one of the joys living port us. Mick Jagger was very good in Hervey Bay. You learned that noth- with the kids except their English and ing could surprise you.

We formed a cricket competition Sunday School teachers, if they heard and the first match we were to play the language, would suffer from diaronly one member of the other team, rhoea for at least a fortnight.

Even I spent an hour with Mick the local Rugby League team, apJagger talking religion, politics and peared telling us that it was such a nice day that the rest of the team de- cricket, shuddering each time he said cided to go over to Fraser Island and a word I wasn't used to or had forgotten since my National Service days. fish.

Poor Peter Smith, known for his But I was surprised when Graham many voice-overs on Channel 9, had sent me this (see top left).

I ‘borrowed’ the book from the a memory lapse, asking Charlie Blott who he was and what he did.

Hervey Bay Library.

Mr Blott felt offended, told Peter The only controversial parts of Graham's letters, as you will notice, what to do with his microphone and will be the use of the Anglo-Saxon then climbed on to a shelf where the words that was normally part of his life jackets were kept, staying there conversation among friends. When for several hours. Mr Oldham called F's and C's are used it can be very out to one of the girls, "Hey, bitch, get difficult and embarrassing for some- me another drink. one not used to it. I suppose it stems At the end of the trip the three young from one's upbringing, too. winners came up thanking me for the I came a from a strict Methodist trip and I apologised for the language family, attending Church twice on Sun- but, to my surprise, the kids replied, days as well as Christian Endeavour "What language?" and Sunday School and, even today, I It was a lesson I learned. feel guilty when I buy a raffle ticket.

And I hope the language may not National Service introduced me to offend you but no matter how you were a world where the conscripts occa- brought up, I know it may take a while sionally used English between the for you to get used to it but remember, variations of the word ‘fuck’. they are only words.

Having a Sergeant, who came When Graham Kennedy and I first from the north of England, saying the met in the 3UZ Record Library in word didn't sound so bad. In fact it 1950, I took an instant dislike to him. sounded very oriental as he proIf the truth be known it was more nounced it as "fook".

In fact, in another play I wrote about of a case of jealousy on my part. Here National Service the word became was this pale skinny bloke, who the basis of a running gag. I merely looked as if he didn't have long to live, wrote plays as a mental exercise as I walked like a pregnant penguin and knew more than me. I've just realised am mental, Nowadays course language is part penguins don't get pregnant, they lay of the language and in the early 1970s eggs. Still, Graham walked like one.

At the time we had a female boss I learned a lesson which took me into the 20th Century when Harry M in the library who was very theatrical Miller brought the Rolling Stones and and she, along with Graham sprouted Roy Orbison on their first tour of Aus- Noel Coward's dialogue every day. tralia. ● Turn To Page 45

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 - Page 45

THE GRAHAM KENNEDY LETTERS

● From Page 28 At that time I didn't even know who Noel Coward was but after three months I knew the dialogue from the recordings of Red Peppers and the famous balcony scene from Private Lives.

Years later, I became a fan of Coward's writing and his songs and even meeting him, so whenever I discovered something new about the playwright I would let Graham know. It would infuriate him.

It was a mild admonition. .Be warned!

Graham was asked to write his autobiography: Another warning (see letter, on Page 28).

So the publishers asked actor/writer Graeme Blundell to write the book.

When it became known that Graeme Blundell was to write the biography many of Graham's friends, aware of the hatchet job Blundell did on the artist Brett Whiteley, word went round not to co-operate. I wasn't chosen nor called. Whew!

It was a pity this attitude prevailed for it turned out Blundell was not only a fan but the book was a paean to The King of television, in which Blundell spent many years researching Graham Kennedy's career. He had also acted with him in the film The Odd Angry Shot.

Joff Ellen was the resident comedian for Graham's In Melbourne Tonight show on Channel 9, He was an enthusiastic member of our exclusive radio circle, Club 78, in which we met once a month. Sir Eric Pearce was the former Channel 7 and 9 newsreader.

Graham never ceased criticizing my spelling and writing and if he ever made a mistake he was quite humble in accepting it. Once he rang a friend asking how to spell ‘etiquette’.

When I was desperate for a little cash which is about 23 hours a day, I occasionally sold a few of Graham's letters on Ebay giving me a little money to pay for CDs or DVDs. A potential buyer sent me a message informing me that he had looked in the Index of Graeme Blundell's The King, couldn't find my name wondered how did I get hold of the letters.

I just emailed the first letter in this book. Never heard from him again. .

One of the reasons letters were written is because Graham accused me of passing on his fax number to a

Contents of this feature contain language which may offend

‘(Bob Hawke) is still as clever and amusing as he was in the Frankston days when he used to call in’

‘He wants something for nothing’

● ‘Graham Kennedy: ‘walked like a pregnant penguin’ friend and later on he accused me ing Clydesdale horses. (More of them again of passing it on to another friend, later).

Colin Bednall was the CEO of Seeker, Keith Potger.

By this time Graham had retired Channel 9. Graham never used a or escaped to his property in surname on its own.

He was very particular with that Canyonleigh with the hopes of raisand the only time in one of his letters he calls Toni Lamond "Lamond" looking for a record he gave me that had belonged to her sister, Helen Reddy.

But Toni was always "Lamond”.

No better compliment could be given her.

Toni is an angel. When she heard I was in a retirement village she sent along a collection of her Sing-A-long CDs and her Talking Book.

Check the book out at your local library. Wonderful stuff. .It's called Still A Gypsy.

Of course you've gathered that this letter is in because of the Keith Potger mention.

I remember telling his parents and Keith what I had written in my column that I knew Keith before he was in the Seekers group when he was just a Sikh.

They laughed but a reader complained. Keith's parents, Vere and Joan came up to live in Hervey Bay and Joan and I shared the same birthday date. Lovely people. Keith's mother as a fabulous cook.

Graham's paragraph about the garden made me smile as he explained how cunning he was he was in getting the people from Burke's Back yard to make one for him. Cost a fortune.

Anyway, I really preferred letters

‘Blundell obviously needs the money’

because, even if it sounds corny, but I believe you are sharing a letter, in the time you have written it and the time you are reading it. It's the same with secondhand books. I know I am sharing it with another person Re the last sentence reminds me of the time a friend told a girl who liked what I said about books and she phoned me in order that I could be a go-between her and my friend who had lost interest in her.

I didn't think it was my job to play Cupid suggesting she speaks to Maureen.Now the woman who phoned was an opera singer, made records with distinguished singers and conductors and lived a very cultural life..

After a 20-minute conversation I heard Maureen laugh and after she hung up I couldn't wait to hear what made her laugh.

Maureen asked this cultural lady why she was interested in my friend and this classical singer replied, "Because he's a good fuck."

Graham was always critical of the many errors I made n my letters but often he fell into the trap of spelling a word by the way it sounded.

He once rang p a friend to find how do you spell ‘Etiquette’ because he couldn't find it in the dictionary under ‘Edi’ and in another letter he incorrectly spelt a performer's name.

For his knowledge of entertainers and singers I was surprised to see him misspell the singer's name, Harry Richman, as Harry Richmond, who was very big in the USA. He introduced Birth of the Blues and Puttin' On The Ritz. He sounded a bit like Jolson of whom Graham was a fan.

The following letter (next page) is a gem. Bryan Brown gave me permission to use it for which I am grateful but I have to be honest as I think his wife, Rachel Ward, is much prettier and always enjoy watching her in one of my favourite films, with Steve Martin, in Carl Reiner's Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid.

The opening paragraph about lavatories reminds me of the time a girl on whom I had a crush, Dorothy Mathieson, when we went on a guided tour of the Victorian Parliament House. ● Turn To Page 46

Page 46 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012

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THE GRAHAM KENNEDY LETTERS

Contents of this feature contain language which may offend

‘Strangers are breaking wind and rooting’

● The press clipping reads: “A map accompanying a report on gay Sydney, published on August 1, inadvertently included Cecchini's Bar, Newtown.”

‘Without warning, the Duke of York walked in’

Read the Melbourne Observer every week - available at your newsagents for just $2.95.

Ask about their ‘putaway’ service.

● Graham Kennedy with Prince Charles” “I’m still King, you know” ● From Page 45 nately he died though the way Gra- in the chest..

As we went through a corridor from ham treated a commercial was, in A month later the King, George V, the Lower House to the Upper House fact, carrying on in the style that Nicky is visiting the hospital; stopping at the soldier's bed asking him what was about the time the Queen was due to created., Just remembered another Royal wrong with him. visit Australia we were told the VictoThe soldier said, "I got a bullet in rian Government was informed that, story. During the First World War the on these lengthy occasions, the Queen then Queen, Mary, was visiting a hos- the stomach." To which the King repital to cheer up the wounded soldiers. plied, "So it's moved, has it?" may like to use the throne.

When former 3KZ Production She came to one bed asking the Workmen installed a toilet in the wall halfway through the passage. I soldier what happened to him. He Manager, Lewis Bennett, become the manager of 3UZ, he brought Fred can't guarantee this bit of information, said, “I got a bullet in the balls”.

The Queen nodded, smiled and Tolley to be the Chief Record Librarbut the seat was covered with fur.

However, on completion of the royal moved on. When she left the hospital ian which pleased me because Fred the senior matron told the soldier, un- played with our Church footy team, toilet it was tested. Just as well.

It would be OK for the Queen to der the threat of death that, if anyone Nicholson Street Methodists, which enter the toilet, use it for the purpose it ever asks him again what's wrong with was nicknamed Nicky. was built, but if she wanted to get out him, he was tell them he got a bullet - Copyright 2012 © Henry Gay she would have to stand on the seat to open the door.

Of course I can't swear that this story is true but it leads us to another member of the Royal family.

The Melbourne radio station 3DB sent Graham over to England, along with Bill Gates, and another radio man who will forgive me for I have forgotten his name to broadcast in London for several weeks.

All this was organised by Graham's then manager, Harry. M. Miller. Graham gave me all the cassettes of the broadcasts, including the one with Prince Charles, and I gave them to 3DB's former manager, Brendan Sheedy who, I hope, has passed them on to Screensound, or whatever it's called this week.

In all the years of correspondence this is only the second time he called himself the King or drew a crown.

The person in the middle is Bill Gates after whom the Bee Gees named their group.

Ironically Bill Gates once worked at 3UZ, with one of my former bosses, Fred Tolley, who was my mentor in becoming a master of facetious, cynical sarcasm and humour.

Fred, an excellent cricketer, once worked with Graham's television producer, Norman Spencer, as a panel operator in the record library at Radio 3KZ but, unfortunately WWII interfered with their sporting careers, though Fred played in our Church team. .

After the war, though they both returned to 3KZ, Norman, (also a good cricketer) went to 3DB, then to GTV9 giving Graham Kennedy his first chance on television asking him to compere a show which eventually became Graham Kennedy's In Melbourne Tonight.

Actually Nicky was signed for tele● Graham Kennedy as host of Nine’s Coast To Coast vision before Graham but unfortu-