Melbourne Observer. 130515C. May 15, 2013. Part C. Pages 79-92

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 15, 2013 - Page 79

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www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Observer Showbiz Every Week in the Melbourne Observer

Radio: Latest Victorian industry news ............... Page 80 Julie Houghton: Melbourne arts news .................. Page 81 The Spoiler: For those who have the plot .................. Page 81 Jim and Aaron: Latest on videos and DVDs .................. Page 82 Cheryl Threadgold: Local theatre shows, auditions ............ Page 83 PLUS THE LOVATT”S MEGA CROSSWORD

PHANTOM OF THE OPERA US actor Nilaja Sun at Theatre Works

By CHERYL THREADGOLD ■ CLOC Musical Theatre is the first amateur theatre company in the world to stage Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom Of The Opera.

And what a show this is! There could surely be no other nonprofessional company with the same resources and talent to match CLOC's magnificent production being presented at the National Theatre, St Kilda, until May 25.

The historic venue provides ideal theatrical atmosphere, and the comfortable-sized seating capacity allows the audience to connect well with the show.

The wonderful cast, stunning sets designed by Brenton Staples, lavish, authentic costumes designed by Nerissa Saville, Stelios Karagiannis's lighting design, sound design by Marcello Lo Ricco, and make-up by Louise Jenkins, all significantly contribute to this outstanding production.

Bravo to director Chris Bradtke for his brilliant direction and staging, musical director Andy McCalman's orchestra for beautifully rendered music, and to choreographer Wendy Belli and her dancers for precise, refreshing balletic choreography.

Laura Slavin is exquisite as Christine Daaé. Her glorious singing voice, acting and dancing are a delight. Laura's personal time management deserves credit too - she juggles rehearsals and performances with working long hours as medical registrar in a major public hospital!

Toby Truscott brings his splendid singing voice and acting to the role of The Phantom, skilfully defining the character as an impressively powerful, yet tragic figure.

Di’s very full dance card

● Nilaja Sun is performing a one-woman show, No Child, at Theatre Works ■ A mega-talented actor is currently in town, wowing fullhouses, and receiving standing ovations.

Following her sell-out season last year in the Melbourne Festival, American writer-performer Nilaja Sun has returned to present her one-woman show No Child at Theatre Works, St Kilda until May 19, under the direction of Hal Brooks.

Sun brilliantly interweaves theatrical commentary on the New York City public school system, with ingenious portrayals of 16 different characters, ranging from the elderly school janitor who cleverly sets the scene in the beginning, to her colourful, ‘academically and emotionally challenged’ students and various fellow teachers.

And then there is the delightful Miss Sun, a drama teacher who needs to repay a bank debt, and comes to the school to produce a play with the unruly tenth grade students.

Sun uses her own teaching experience in some of New York’s toughest schools to highlight the teaching profession as “one of the hardest, underpaid jobs in this crazy universe”.

We hear the school has armed guards, armed Police and metal detectors, and Miss Sun questions whether the students are being prepared for jail, rather than to become leaders.

It is easy to see why Sun has already won 21 awards for creating and performing No Child, with its witty humour, social observation and emotionally powerful content.

It is, however, Nilaja Sun’s dynamic, high-powered performing talent, switching instantly between characters on an empty stage with a few chairs, that captivates her audience during the 60-minute performance.

A truly memorable theatre experience.

Performance season: Until May 19 Times: Tues-Sat 8.00pm, Wed and Thurs at 1pm, Sun at 5pm Venue: Theatre Works, 14 Acland St, St Kilda Tickets: $45/$35. $40 groups 10+ plus booking fee.

Bookings: 9534 3388 or theatreworks.org.au - Review by Cheryl Threadgold

● Di Rolle’s column - from Page 8 ■ They sold 40 million records worldwide and were the first group to knock The Beatles from the number one spot on the Billboard charts.

Melbourne International Jazz Festival - some concerts that might appeal: Cassandra Wilson - Crowned “America’s Best Singer” in 2001 by Time magazine, vocalist Cassandra Wilson is bringing her unique brand of jazz, vintage blues, country and folk music to Hamer Hall for her first Australian appearance in almost a decade.

The Mississippi-born singer, songwriter and guitarist was a founding member of the soul-funk outfit M-Base Collective before launching her stellar solo career.

Her landmark 1993 Blue Note release Blue Light Til Dawn paved the way for a new generation of jazz singers, and was recently named one of The Guardian’s 50 key events in the history of jazz.

Renowned Cuban pianist, composer and bandleader Chucho ● MissValdés, is one of the most popular exponents of Latin jazz in the world.

A tireless innovator, and winner of five Grammy Awards and three Latin Grammys, Chucho Valdés will perform his irresistibly exuberant music with the Afro- Cuban Messengers at the newly-refurbished Hamer Hall.

Chucho Valdés will also share his stories from an inspiring five-decade journey In Conversation with Gerry Koster (ABC Classic FM).

In yet another festival exclusive, 774’s Roaring Swing takes you back to the 1920s when the gangsters ran the nightlife and the Charleston ruled the dance floor.

Two of Melbourne’s most explosive bands Michael McQuaid and his Red Hot Rhythmakers, and Leigh Barker and the New Sheiks will have the Melbourne Town Hall quaking.

Friday night’s Opening Gala concert at St Kilda's Palais Theatre, Everybody Wants To Rule The World, features special guest Mahalia Barnes alongside 2012 ARIA Awardwinning vocalist/pianist Sarah McKenzie with formidable jazz vocalist and improviser Michelle Nicolle, reinterpreting era-defining rock classics and pop anthems such as House Of The Rising Sun, Yellow Taxi and Sunshine of Your Love.

Then home to kick my heels off and have a cuppa!

Phew, there is so much happening.

- Di Rolle

● Tony Truscott (The Phantom), Laura Slavin (Christine) and Patrick Hill (Raoul) in CLOC Musical Theatre's The Phantom Of The Opera, at the National Theatre until May 25.

Photo: Richard Crompton Patrick Hill is first-class as the young, romantic lead, Raoul, as is Beryle Frees, the elegant, all-knowing ballet mistress, Madame Giry.

Samantha Du Rennes (Carlotta Guidicelli), Julian Dunham (Ubaldo Piangi), Scott Hili (Richard Firmin), Tim Minturn (Gilles André) and Lucinda Barratt (Meg Giry) are all terrific in their roles, as is the versatile ensemble.

The only 'amateur' element of this show is that the cast and crew don't get paid!

Congratulations to CLOC Musical Theatre on triumphing with a spectacular production of The Phantom Of The Opera.

Season: Until May 25 Venue: National Theatre, St Kilda Bookings: 1300 362 547. www.cloc.org.au - Review by Cheryl Threadgold

Love Is My Sin ■ Described as “a duet that explores the anatomy of love which ... illuminates the vagaries of relationships,” (Separation, Jealousy, Betrayal and the Cruel Changes wrought by Time) Love Is My Sin is the legendary Peter Brooks’s original dramatisation of 29 Shakespearean sonnets.

Shakespearean sonnets are written in iambic pentameter, and coupled with breathtaking imagery, the result is measured lyrical beauty.

This metre was well handled by actors Jenny Lovell and Geoff Wallis, but more confident inflections and mellower voices would have added depth.

Helen Barclay’s pleasant cello, indicated mood or theme change.

Director Kate Herbert’s decision to use a harsh minimalist white set suited the first sequence particularly, when there was a feeling almost of a ‘sonnet off!’ as Lovell and Wallis sparred with each other selecting and reading sonnets from books and notes; later moving to memorised text as relationship emerged and recriminations were left behind.

The occasional writing of headings on boards helped the audience follow the changing pattern of loves’ vagaries.

Perhaps it was the proximity of the actors as they conversed via sonnet, or the speed with which they moved to new sonnets, but sometimes the beauty and complexity of dialogue seemed elusive – or perhaps that was Herbert’s intention, to reflect the transience of love …

“Like as the waves make toward the pebbled shore So do our minutes hasten to their end ...”

But the final “Let not the marriage of true minds admit impediment..” spoken by both was particularly effective in delivery and projection.

This was brave and worthy theatre, but just didn’t quite rise to lyrical elegance in “the struggle to make evanescent things … defy life’s inevitable endings.”

Performance season: Until May 19 Times: Wed, Fri at 6.30pm, Thur, Sat at 8.30pm, Sun 4pm Venue: La Mama Theatre, 205 Faraday St, Carlton.

Tickets: $25/$15 Bookings: 9347 6142 or www.lamama.com.au - Review by Maggie Morrison

Page 80 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Observer Showbiz

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Radio Confidential News from stations from around Victoria

SHOW HISTORY

Country Crossroads

Ten links with Nova, Smooth

info@country crossroads.com.au Big Breakfast Show. Southern FM 88.3.

Tues. 6am-9am.

Rob Foenander

PUSH FOR NATIONAL SLIM DAY

■ Some of the biggest names in Australia are leading a campaign to have Slim Dusty's June 13 birthday officially recognised as Australia's National Slim Dusty Day. A petition is prepared and will be presented to Parliament.

Music historian Glenn A Baker said: "Slim Dusty Day is a day to celebrate our musical heritage. Slim Dusty articulated the very essence of Australia for a great many Australians."

TAYLOR TO TOUR

■ American superstar Taylor Swift will tour down under later in the year and play Etihad Stadium on December 14.

Titled The Red Tour, Swift will become the first solo female artist in 20 years to headline stadiums across Australia and New Zealand.

Promoter Michael Gudinski from The Frontier Touring Company said, "I saw the first stadium show of Taylor's The Red Tour, and Australia and New Zealand are in for an absolute treat.

HARRY WINS ISC AWARD

■ Cowarr resident Harry Hookey is one of four Australian country writers to win at the International Songwriting Awards.

Harry took out the unsigned category with his song Misdiagnosed.

Paul Cowderoy, David Carter and Jane E Robertson won the People's Choice Award with their song Coming Home.

NEW ALBUM FOR ISLA

■ Lovesick and Blue is the latest CD release for Scotland's favourite singer Isla Grant.

The 10 tracks are all written by Isla and again highlights her easy listening style that has gained her worldwide popularity. Grant was initially a folk singer but found country music at an early stage of her career.

- Rob Foenander

■ Amanda Lee has been appointed as Music Director/Operations Manager for FOX FM in Melbourne.

She replaces MD Jack Ball who is off to Brisbane.

r Observbei z Show

Wednesday, May 15 ■ Former TV presenter Bill Peach was born in 1935 (78).

US singer Trini Lopez was born in Texas in 1937 (76).

Actor/director John Orcsik was born in 1945 (68).

Singer-dancer Rhonda Burchmore was born in Sydney in 1960 (53).

Arts Extra A Storm In A D Cup

● Simon Owens ■ 3AW presenter Simon Owens, who bills himself as the station ‘historian’, is trying to track down history of the Buy, Swap And Sell program.

“3AW's Buy Swap and Sell program has been hosted by Darren James since 1994.

“Peter Meehan hosted it for three years prior to that, Craig Willis hosted it from 1990, taking over from Jim Wilshire.

“Can anyone tell me when Jim Wilshire began on Weekend Breakfast? Was he the first host of Buy Swap and Sell on 3AW? “I have spoken to David Mann, Darren, Peter and Craig. I don't know how to contact Jim. It is such a staple of 3AW that to not give due credit to the instigator would be unfair.” sowens@3aw.com.au

Radio briefs ■ Guy Le Couteur, who has been Glenn Ridge's producer at MyMP for the past nine months is leaving the station.

SEN 1116 journalist Anthony Laughton will be taking his place, reports the Radio Today website.

■ The Australian Radio Facebook page administered by the Melbourne Observer has welcomed its 499th visitor.

■ After 36 years of keeping the Irish community in Melbourne informed of all things Irish, The Connolly Association is planning its final 3CR broadcast on Saturday (May 18) at 9.30am.

■ The Ten Network is participating in a number of promotions with Lachlan Murdoch’s Smooth and Nova radio stations.

The Nova Network is linking with MasterChef Australia, to launch Nova’s First Class and 50K Girls vs Boy’s edition this week.

Meshel, Tim and Marty, Nova’s national Drive show, will announce the winners on Monday, June 10 from 4pm.

■ Smooth 91.5 linked with Ten at the weekend. Smooth gave away $20,000 cash in a listener promotion.

Golden days for GDR ■ Melbourne community station, Golden Days Radio, broadcasts on the 95.7 FM frequency ... but another form of taking its signal to the world is buzzing with success.

Station Manager Alex Hehr says there were 2009 new visitors last month to the golden daysradio.com website, where users can listen to the station from anywhere in the world.

There were 3951 visitors and a total 55,031 hits.

● Alex Hehr

● Amelia Ryan ■ If you were searching for a catchy name for your new cabaret show, A Storm In a D Cup would definitely grab your attention.

So decided cabaret performer Amelia Ryan, and her show has been playing to sold out houses in Melbourne, Sydney and Wollongong.

Now it's Melbourne's turn to host a return season so those who missed out last time can catch it in 2013.

In one of the most attention-grabbing pitches I've seen for a while, Amelia says she has been blessed with a gay father and transgender step mother, and she herself has dabbled in 'exotic dancing'!

This girl is a born storyteller with plenty of material and she loves to sing. Amelia describes her show as Sex In The City meets the musical Cabaret!

She has been mentored by cabaret king (or perhaps that should read queen?) Trevor Ashley who has had his own sold out shows in Melbourne.

As dux of her high school, the world was Amelia's oyster but she decided to follow her passion for performing and head to the Victorian College of the Arts to study musical theatre.

However, in amongst a whole class of triple threats (those annoying performers who can sing, dance and act incredibly well), she felt she was a mediocre dancer and needed to capitalise on best asset, the ability to be 'the funny one' - an essential ingredient for a successful cabaret performer.

It was obviously a good decision, as Amelia was the 2012 Australian Cabaret runner-up and A Storm In A D Cup will be making its international debut at The New York Musical Theatre Festival in July.

But theatregoers can see Amelia a lot closer to home in her two short Melbourne seasons from May 21-26 at The Butterfly Club, and at the Kew Courthouse on June 29-30. www.astorminadcup.net - Julie Houghton Melbourne

Observer

On This Day Thursday, May 16

Friday, May 17

Saturday, May 18

Sunday, May 19

Monday, May 20

Tuesday, May 21

■ Actor Henry Fonda was born in Nebraska in 1905.

He died aged 77 in 1982.

Liberace (Wladziu Liberace), flamboyant pianist, was born in 1919. He died aged 67 in 1987.

Irish actor Pierce Brosnan was born in 1953 (60). He played James Bond.

Jazz musician Woody Herman was born in 1913.

■ The late Professor Julius Sumner-Miller was born in the US in 1909.

He died aged 78 in 1987.

Actor Dennis Hopper, besdt known for Easy Rider, was born in 1936.

He died aged 74 in 2010.

Irish singer/songwriter Enya (Eithne Ni Bhraonain) is 52 (1961).

■ American singer Perry Como was born in 1912. He died aged 88 in 1901.

Australian record producer Ron Tudor is 89 today. He was born in Gippsland in 1924.

Dwayne Hickman (Dobie Gills) is 79.

Newsreader Sandra Sully was born in Queensland in 1965 (48). Sandra is on the Ten Network News.

■ Dame Nellie Melba (Helen Mitchell) was born on this day in 1861 at Lilydale. She died aged 69 in 1931.

Pete Townshend, guitarist for The Who, was born in 1945 (68).

Actress Claudia Karvan was born in Sydney in 1972 (41).

Actor Nancy Kwan was born in 1939 (72).

■ Actor Jimmy Stewart was born in 1908. He died aged 89 in 1997.

Musician Joe Cocker was born in Sheffield, England, in 1944 (69).

Cher (Cherilyn Le Pierre) was born in California in 1946. The singer and actresss is 69.

Christopher Columbus, the Italian explorer, died on this day in 1506.

■ Jazz pianist and composer Fats Waller was born in 1904. He died aged 39 in 1943.

Perry Mason’s Raymond Burr was born in Canada in 1017. He died aged 76 in 1993.

Singer and musician Joe Camilleri was born in Malta in 1948 (65). His band was Jo Jo Zep and The Falcons.

Thanks to GREG NEWMAN of the Birthday Bulletin for assistance with birthday and anniversary dates.

Find out more at www.birthdaybulletin.com.au

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 15, 2013 - Page 81

Observer TV, Radio, Theatre Showbiz Latest Melbourne show business news - without fear or favour The Spoiler WINTER IN WOODEND Media Flashes

ShowBiz!

For Those Who Have Lost The Plot

Neighbours ■ 6.30pm. Weeknights. Eleven ■ Monday, May 20. Lauren comes face-to-face with an old flame; Kyle loses his safety glasses and seriously damages his eyes looking at an eclipse; Kate thinks she sees her deceased ex-boyfriend, Mark Brennan.

■ Tuesday, May 21. A new family, the Willis, move to Ramsay Street and reveal themselves to the community in a poor way, much to the discomfort of Kate, Mason and Lauren. Kate is still haunted by the past.

■ Wednesday, May 22. Steph is still on the run with Patrick and Lucas is desperate to find them; Lauren fails in her attempts to keep her former relationship with Brad a secret; Kyle struggles with his life without sight.

■ Thursday, May 23. The Steph and Patrick saga comes to an end; Rani is torn between her feelings for Callum and Bailey; Kyle is fustrated by his lack of independence.

■ Friday, May 24. Kate searches for answers after she thought she saw Mark; Rani tries everything to distance herself from Bailey; Terese and Paul butt heads over the management of Lassiters

Home and Away ■ Monday, May 20. Bianca reveals she never wants to have another baby. Natalie and Zac feel awkward around each other after their fight. Jett's date with Nina is a success, but he doesn't seem pleased about it.

Maddy decides to get Spencer back.

■ Tuesday, May 21. Heath decides to stay with Bianca, Indi continues her search for Romeo with help from Chris, and Maddy mistakenly thinks Spencer has moved on with Rosie.

■ Wednesday, May 22. Rosie decides to keep the baby.

Spencer wants to support Rosie, but as a friend. Chris goes to visit his parents. Indi hires a private investigator to track down Romeo. Dex snaps under pressure and decides not to go to the board review.

■ Thursday, May 23. Double Episode. John understands why Jett broke up with Nina, Dex faces the board with unexpected results and Tamara is suspicious that Kyle is to blame for the Braxton disharmony. Adam tells Ricky it's time to dump Brax and Casey is set up

by Adam.

Star Bursts

★

Network Ten has signed a broadcast rights agreement with the International Olympics Committee to show the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympic Games.

★

Tickets for Cyndi Lauper’s Australian Tour went on sale last week and already a second show in Melbourne has been announced and will go on sale this Friday (May 17). The second show will be at the Palaias Theatre on Friday, August 30.

★

The TV Tonight website has picked up on the suggestion (first published in the Melbourne Observer earlier this year) that the Ten Network’s new breakfast show might be called Good Morning Australia.

★

Veteran US broadcaster Barbara Walters, 83, will retire in 2014. She is to remain as Executive Producer of The View.

★

Rhythm will take centre stage as Melbourne Symphony Orchestra open the doors of the Melbourne Town Hall to more than 10,000 school students, parents and teachers for Education Week to be held between May 28 and June 1.

■ Nine years ago, a apir of musicians who had embarked on a tree change, had a wonderful idea.

Why not share the beauty of their new home, Woodend, and bring musicians and music lovers to a special weekend festival on the Queen's Birthday long weekend?

That was the idea of renowned harpsichordist Jacqueline Ogeil and her eminent organist and choral specialist partner, John O'Donnell.

Since that time, the festival has grown and now encompasses the whole Woodend community, with the town getting on board by allowing all its lovely churches and halls to be used for literary and musical events, and making sure there are plenty of roaring fires and refreshments at the pubs and cafes around town.

The festival has always focused on intimate classical music and literary events, and this year a featured event is a live performance from the musicians behind volume nine of the well-known Hush Collection.

Pianist Tony Gould, clarinetist David Griffiths, percussionist David Jones and cellist Imogen Manins will perform music from their Is It Spring Yet?, Hush CD on Friday June 7 at 7.30 pm in St Ambrose Hall, Templeton St, Woodend.

Other major draw cards in the festival are sopranos Greta Bradman and Jacqueline Porter, Can-berra guitarist Tim Kain, Ensemble Liai-

Insomnia Cat

● Jacqueline Ogeil son, Tin Alley Quartet, it challenges and inspires Ensemble Gombert, and and provides work for the artists and local commuAccademia Arcadia.

Literary names per- nity.

It is based on standards forming in the festival in book discussions and semi- of excellence and quality'.

To be part of this very nars include Ramona Koval, Sally Warhaft, special winter arts event, Carmel Bird and crime check out the details at specialist writers Susanna www.woodendwinter Lobez and Andrew artsfestival.org.au - Julie Houghton Grimes.

This year there is a strong theme of crime writing and fiction, memoir and historical writing, while lit■ Author Robert Hillerary panels will explore man's account of the central theme of Ausmusician Geoffrey tralia in the Asian CenGurrumul Yunupingu will tury. be staged at The Barn, Jacqueline Ogeil has Montsalvat, Hillcrest always been a musical Ave, Eltham on Tuesday, powerhouse whose mantra June 4, 6.30pm until must be 'can do!', and she 8.30pm is justly proud of the festival.

Entry: $75 for "Woodend Winter singles; $85 for couples Arts Festival is now well includes a signed copy established and continues to of the book. grow in status and size, so

At Eltham

Amy seeks to raise $7000 ■ In 2012, Melbourne theatre practitioner Amy Gibson travelled to Paris to continue studies with clown master Philippe Gaulier, and to Tel Aviv to study Gaga dance classes with the Batsheva Dance Company.

Amy’s latest news is that she has completed the first two terms of L’Ecole Philippe Gaulier’s first year program, where only 30 students are accepted each year. Former students include Geoffrey Rush, Emma Thompson and Sacha Baron Cohen.

Subjects include Le Jeu, Neutral Mask, Greek Tragedy, Mask Play, Moliere, Melodrama and Bouffon.

Amy has documented her time there in a short film: https://vimeo.com/ 63607569 Along with the help of The Ian Potter Cultural Fund and some generous supporters, Amy has self-funded most of the fees and living costs for the first two terms.

The final term consists of Shakespeare and Chekhov, Characters and Clown.

Amy has written to say that there is

● Joanne Sutton in Insomnia Cat Came To Stay at the Malthouse - Tower Theatre until May 18.

■ Quiet Little Fox presents Insomnia Cat Came To Stay at the Malthouse - Tower Theatre, until May 18.

This electric fusion of theatre, original animation and music is written by Fleur Kilpatrick, performed

by Joanne Sutton and directed by Danny Delahunty.

This is a story of the sleep deprived and the narrator's desperate need for sleep and descent into mania draws the audience into a captivating tale of sleepless nights.

Crafted from personal journal entries and life observations, this one-act monologue is part true story and part waking dream.

Playwright Kilpatrick's text is accompanied by a carefully composed score from Roderick Cairns.

Illustrating the Insomniac's wanderings is animation hand-drawn by Melbourne motion-graphics animation artist Thomas Russell.

Performance Season: Until May 18 at 8.30pm (50 mins.)

Venue: Malthouse - Tower Theatre, 113 Sturt Street, Southbank All tickets $25 (a per ticket booking fee applies) Enquiries: 0407 096 148 or nastasiaryan90@ gmail.com - Cheryl Threadgold

At Legally Blonde

● Amy Gibson $7000 outstanding to complete the first year, and she receives support through the Australia Cultural Fund, managed by Creative Partnerships Australia.

However, she says that any donations over $2 will be tax deductable if anyone would like to donate to the following link to help her complete her studies: www.creativepartnershipsaustralia.org.au/ donors/artist-projects/amygibson.html Amy Gibson’s vision is to bring back further learning to future artists and creative in Australia.

- Cheryl Threadgold

● Josh Tong and Jason Coleman were at the opening night of Legally Blonde

Page 82 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Observer Showbiz What’s Hot and What’s Not in Blu-Rays and DVDs

● Standout veteran British cast (from Left to Right) Pauline Collins, Tom Courtenay, Billy Connolly and the irreplaceable Maggie Smith in the delightful and heart-warming Quartet, directed by Dustin Hoffman in his directorial debut and also starring the great Michael Gambon.

FILM: QUARTET: Genre: Thriller/Horror/Romance.

Cast: Maggie Smith, Billy Connolly, Tom Courtenay, Michael Gambon, Pauline Collins.

Year: 2012.

Rating: M. Running Time: 98 Minutes.

Format: DVD and BLY-RAY. Stars: **** Verdict: The delightfully quirky story of a home for retired musicians who hold and annual concert to celebrate Verdi's birthday which is disrupted by the arrival of Jean (Maggie Smith), an eternal diva and the former wife of one of the residents. This is a beautiful British character driven comedy-romanticdrama brought wonderfully to life thanks to the extraordinary and legendary British talent under the beautifully guiding hand of, get ready for it, Oscar winner Dustin Hoffman in his first role as director. Brimming with humour and honesty, this is a joy for both young and old.

FILM: LIFE OF PI: Genre: Drama.

Cast: Irrfan Khan, Suraj Sharma, Gerard Depardieu.

Year: 2012.

Rating: PG. Running Time: 127 Minutes.

Format: DVD, BLU-RAY and BLU-RAY 3D. Stars: **** Verdict: Great adventure story of a young man who survives a disaster at sea and is hurled into an epic journey of survival and discovery in a lifeboat with one other survivor, a fearsome Bengal tiger. Director Ang Lee, who's previous work includes Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon and the Oscar winning Brokeback Mountain, delivers a visually stunning and totally captivating journey filled with thrills, excitement, humour and poignancy. A great technical achievement! Nominated for 11 Academy awards and winner of four including Cinematography, Visual Effects, Music and Direction.

FILM: 10 UNFORGETTABLE FILMS Collection Box Set: Genre: Romance/Comedy/Drama.

Cast: Virginia McKenna, Trevor Howard, David Niven, Celia Johnson, Rex Harrison, Margaret Rutherford, Kenneth More, Peter Finch, Gregory Peck, and Many More!

Year: Assorted Years.

Rating: M. Running Time: Assorted Running Times.

Format: DVD. Stars: ***** Verdict: Outstanding DVD box set of timeless romantic-drama-comedy British classics that includes David Lean's masterpiece Brief Encounter, the unforgettable A Matter Of Life And Death, David Lean and Noel Coward's wonderfully whimsical high spirited comedy Blithe Spirit, Love Story (1944), The Red Shoes, A Town Like Alice, The Million Pound Note, This Happy Breed, the captivating true story of Carve Her Name With Pride and the classic comedy Genevieve. All a must for every collection.

FILM: THE GREAT GATSBY: Genre: Drama.

Cast: Robert Redford, Mia Farrow, Bruce Dern, Sam Waterston.

Year: 1974.

Rating: PG. Running Time: 143 Minutes.

Format: DVD and BLY-RAY. Stars: **1/2 Verdict: Based on the classic novel by F. Scott Fitzgerald it tells the story of a young man living on a Long Island estate at the height of the jazz age in the 1920's who finds himself compelled by the mysterious past and extravagant lifestyle of his neighbour, the mysterious and wealthy Jay Gatsby. Previously filmed for the big screen in 1926 with Warner Baxter and in 1949 with Alan Ladd, and yet again this year with Leonardo DiCaprio, this is the first colour film version of the famed story. Sadly, all the richness and extravagance on offer falls flat and the results uninspiring. With a fine screenplay by Francis Ford Coppola, done shortly before the release of his epic The Godfather, and a fine performance by Robert Redford in the title role, it is a clear case of misdirection and misinterpretation by too many others involved. No classic but is still worth a look. Hopefully, one day they'll get it right.

- James Sherlock

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Movies, DVDs With Jim Sherlock and Aaron Rourke

AARON’S REVIEWS

Top 10 Lists THE AUSTRALIAN BOX OFFICE TOP TEN: 1. IRON MAN 3.

2. THE BIG WEDDING. 3. OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN. 4. THE CROODS. 5. OBLIVION. 6. DRIFT. 7. THE COMPANY YOU KEEP. 8. WARM BODIES. 9. THE PLACE BEYOND THE PINES. 10. IDENTITY THIEF. NEW RELEASES AND COMING SOON TO CINEMAS AROUND AUSTRALIA: MAY 9: EVIL DEAD, SPRING BREAKERS, STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS, THE PLACE BEYOND THE PINES, YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHIN' YET. MAY 16: A PLACE FOR ME, BROKEN, SATELLITE BOY, SNITCH, TABU, THE CALL.

● Carloto Cotta and Ana Moreira in the magical romantic film Tabu ■ Tabu (MA). 118 minutes. Opens with Rui Pocas' luminous, black-andwhite photography deserving special in selected cinemas on May 16.

A sleeper hit at the 2012 Melbourne praise.

Hypnotic and spellbinding, Tabu is Film Festival, Tabu is a moving, intoxicating ode to the early days of cinema, the kind of film that showers an audiusing the magic of movies to present a ence with everything that is magic in love story that is both passionate and cinema, an inventive and involving experience that genuine movie-goers tragic.

After a gentle opening sequence in- crave for, and it is a pity that there volving a heartbroken explorer, the film aren't more films like this lighting up moves to modern-day Lisbon, where Australian screens.

RATING - ****½ Pilar (Teresa Madruga), a lonely ★ middle-aged woman, becomes increasKon-Tiki (G) (1951). 58 miningly concerned about her next-door neighbour, the elderly and very eccen- utes. Now available on DVD. With the Oscar-nominated movie tric Aurora (Laura Soveral).

Aurora, who lives with her seem- adaptation currently impressing audiingly stern servant Santa (Isabel ences around Australia, it is great to Cardoso), is a chronic gambler who has see the original 1951 documentary rebeen spurned by her daughter for rea- leased on DVD, and it certainly makes sons unknown, and she feels respon- for fascinating viewing.

The incredible footage shot by Norsible for the cold relationship between wegian biologist Thor Heyerdahl durthe two.

As events unfold, Pilar contacts ing his (and a crew of five) famous someone from Aurora's past, a man journey from Peru to Polynesia (4,300 called Gian Luca Ventura (Henrique nautical miles) is compelling, with a Espirito Santo), who confesses to her number of scenes faithfully recreated in the new big-screen version. the connection he has with Aurora.

Winner of the Oscar for Best DocuThe story, set in colonial Africa, is mentary in 1951, Kon-Tiki still holds revealed in flashback as we see a young Ventura (Carloto Cotta) and Aurora up wonderfully as a vivid account of a (Ana Moreira) slowly fall in love, hair-raising, historically important adamongst the growing turmoil happen- venture.

RATING - ****. ing in Africa at the time. ★ This section is lovingly crafted as a Traffickers (R). 111 minutes. silent film, with joyous musical interludes and narration by the older Coming Soon.

What may end up being the nastiest Ventura, elevating the affair into something completely mesmerising and en- thriller of the year, Traffickers takes a disturbing premise (black market organ chanting.

Co-editor/co-writer/director Miguel trafficking) and plays it to the hilt, and make viewers think twice before Gomes (who also provides the sooth- will booking their next holiday cruise. ing voice of the narrator) beautifully The story, which involves an insurconveys the deep feelings of love, loss, ance who takes his wheelchairand loneliness, and how such warm and boundagent wife on a sea cruise holiday; a emotionally enveloping sensations can corrupt officer is in deep debt to become complicated and bittersweet. some gangsters;who his criminal brother; Gomes (a former film critic) wears a nurse who is trying to finance a his love of cinema on his sleeve, dem- and for her ill father; takes a numonstrating to the audience the true transplant ber of twists turns, and does offer power of the moving image, and how some genuineand surprises. those images can carry us away and Though not entirely credible, this effect us on many different levels. well-crafted, thriller does inPerformances are heartfelt, with volve, and itswell-cast ruthless at times Cotta and Moreira perfect as the young bloody) nature does keep(and proceedings lovers, and there is also a standout turn unpredictable, and makes for tense,

by Madruga as the somewhat melan- dour, and unsettling entertainment. choly Pilar.

RATING - ***1/2.

Technically the film is first-rate, - Aaron Rourke

THE DVD TOP RENTAL & SELLERS: 1. LIFE OF PI [Drama/Adventure/ Irrfan Khan, Suraj Sharma].

2. THE HOBBIT: An Unexpected Journey [Fantasy/Adventure/Martin Freeman, Ian McKellen].

3. SKYFALL [Action/Adventure/ Daniel Craig, Javier Bardem, Judi Dench].

4. LES MISERABLES [Musical/ Drama/Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Anne Hathaway].

5. WRECK-IT RALPH [Animated/ Family/John C. Reilly, Jack McBrayer].

6. QUARTET [Comedy/Drama/ Maggie Smith, Michael Gambon, Billy Connolly].

7. ARGO [Thriller/Ben Affleck, Alan Arkin, John Goodman].

8. TWILIGHT SAGA: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 [Drama/Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson].

9. THE SESSIONS [Drama/Helen Hunt, John Hawkes, William H. Macy].

10. PARENTIAL GUIDANCE [Comedy/ Family/Billy Crystal, Bette Midler, Marisa Tomei].

Also: ALEX CROSS, RISE OF THE GUARDIANS, TROUBLE WITH THE CURVE, RED DAWN, PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER, THE MAN WITH THE IRON FISTS, DREDD, THE INTOUCHABLES, TAKEN 2, PITCH PERFECT. NEW RELEASE HIGHLIGHTS ON DVD THIS WEEK: GANGSTER SQUAD [Crime/Drama/ Action/Sean Penn, Josh Brolin, Ryan Gosling].

HITCHCOCK [Drama/Anthony Hopkins, Helen Mirren, Scarlett Johansson, Danny Huston].

THIS IS 40 [Comedy/Maude Apatow, Leslie Mann, Paul Rudd].

HAMILTON: But Not If It Concerns Your Daughter [Thriller/Stephen Waddington].

NEW & RE-RELEASE CLASSICS ON DVD HIGHLIGHTS: THE HAUNTED PALACE [1963/Horror/Thriller/Vincent Price, Lon Chaney Jr, Debra Paget].

LADY IN WHITE [Thriller/Lukas Haas, Katherine Helmond, Alex Rocco].

ELECTRA GLIDE IN BLUE [1973/ drama/Cult/Robert Blake, Mitch Ryan].

BARFLY [1987/Drama/Mickey Rourke, Faye Dunaway, Alice Krige].

THE LITTLE GIRL WHO LIVES DOWN THE LANE [1976/Drama/Thriller/ Jodie Foster].

FOXY BROWN [R18+ -1974/Action/ Drama/Pam Grier]. Turn To P87

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 15, 2013 - Page 83

Observer Showbiz RED STITCH THEATRE

Local Theatre With Cheryl Threadgold

‘BREAKER MORANT’ AT TORQUAY SHOWS

● Matthew Whitty as Tommy in About Tommy being presented by Red Stitch Actors Theatre until May 25.

Photo: Jodie Hutchinson ■ About Tommy follows a young Danish soldier’s UN peacekeeping tour of duty during the Yugoslavian conflicts in the 1990s.

Based on actual recorded events, Danish playwright Thor Bjorn Krebs’s work has been translated by David Duchin.

The thing about Tommy is that before leaving for duty, he is a happy-go-lucky, compassionate young man, who naively believes “we can sort them out”.

War is horrible. War changes people. We learn of the absurdly restrictive protocol and rules imposed on peace-keeping force soldiers, for the sake of perceived neutrality.

The outstanding cast includes Matthew Whitty as Tommy and Kate Cole and Paul Henri as his fellow soldiers, nurses and well-intentioned parents.

Director Kat Henry ingeniously utilises every artistic opportunity within the intimate Red Stitch Theatre performance space to present a seamlessly staged production .

Clever use of projected images and screens further immerses the audience into the story. Unfortunately though, not all patrons could see the downstage small-screen electronic vision.

This documentary-style play is about a real life situation, so it’s OK when the script seems to drag a little at times. Pauses, time for thinking and allowing events to unfold are part of true life, even in war.

Now in its 13th year, Red Stitch Actors Theatre is unique in its ensemble structure, being managed and staffed largely by the actors and core technical and design crew.

About Tommy aptly fits the company’s focus on “cutting-edge, contemporary text-based plays or adaptations”.

I thoroughly enjoyed this thought-provoking show, particularly the top acting and direction.

Performance Season: Until May 25.

Times: Wed-Sat at 8pm, Sun 6.30pm, Sat matinees at 4pm Venue: Red Stitch Theatrem Rear 2 Chapel St, St Kilda.

Tickets: $27 - $39 ($20 students, $15 rush) Bookings: www.redstitch.net or 9533 8083.

ONE FOR THE UGLY GIRLS ■ Artist Alistair books Jade, a woman from an artists’ model agency catalogue, to pose for him because in the photo she is very like his late wife. He is desperate to retain anything he can about his wife before her memory slips away.

Jade arrives – or does she? She is nothing like her photo! It is obvious she knows nothing about being a live model. Why is Jade really there with Alistair?

Tahli Corin has written an entertaining and thought-provoking piece that has already been shortlisted for the Rodney Seaborn Award. The direction of Adriana Bonaccurso in her directorial debut brings out the highs, lows and various “colours” of the developing relationships.

It takes place over a couple of days and includes many scenes of full frontal nudity. In the small space at La Mama one would think this might be confronting, but in fact, due to the professional way it is handled by actors Lori Bell and Hannah Norris, the audience quickly adjusts and accepts it, as it is totally in context with the story. Syd Brisbane completes the trio. All three give strong performances but Lori Bell in particular gives a well-timed, assured portrayal that engaged the sympathy of this reviewer.

Sound design is by Stephen Moylan, who is also Stage Manager. This is well done. However I am not sure whether it was the design or the operation, but lighting, by Sam Hopkins, was not quite perfect – possibly an opening night gremlin causing delays in the lighting changes that are required. In the tiny space that is this La Mama theatre, Manda Webber does a good job with the set. There are other surprises such as a physical fight well-choreographed by Felicity Steel This is a play that is worth seeing.

Performance Season: Until May 19 at La Mama Theatre, 205 Faraday St, Carlton.

Time: Wed, Fri 8.30pm;Thu,Sat,Sun 6.30pm Price: $25 Full, $15 Concession Bookings: Online www.lamama.com.au or 9347 6142 - Review by Janine Chugg

Melbourne

Observer

■ Torquay Theatre Troupe: Breaker Morant until May 14 at 16 Price Street, Torquay. Director: Michael Baker. Tickets: $20/ $15. Bookings: 5261 9035.

■ Heidelberg Theatre Company: August: Osage County (by Tracey Letts) Until May 18 at 36 Turnham Avenue, Rosanna. Director: Joan Moriarty. Bookings: 9457 4117 or htc@htc.org.au ■ Peridot Theatre: Nunsense (by Dan Goggin) Until May 18 at the Unicorn Theatre, Mt Waverley Secondary College, Lechte Road, Mt Waverley. Director: Frank McCarty. Tickets: $23/$20. Bookings: 1300 138645 (toll free) or 9898 9090 (mobiles). www.peridot.com.au ■ Williamstown Musical Theatre Company: Sweet Charity Until May 18 at the Williamstown Mechanics Institute, Corner Melbourne Road and Electra Street, Williamstown. Directors/Choreographers: Narelle Bonnici and Samantha Heskett; Musical Director: Daniel Heskett. Tickets: $32/$28 www.wmtc/.org.au ■ The Colac Players Inc: The Adventures of Aladdin: The Rock Panto Until May 11 at COPACC, Corner Rae and Gellibrand Streets, Colac. Director: Al Mustapha Al Shahid. Tickets: $22/$15. Bookings: 5232 2077.

■ Eltham Little Theatre: Calendar Girls (by Tim Firth) Until May 24 at the Eltham Performing Arts Centre, Main Road, Research. Director: Gayle Poor. Tickets: $22.50/$17.50. Bookings: 9437 1574.

■ CLOC Musical Theatre: The Phantom of the Opera Until May 25 at the National Theatre, St Kilda. Bookings: 1300 362 547. www.cloc.org.au ■ Nova Music Theatre: Sweeney Todd Until May 25 at the Whitehorse Centre, Nunawading. Director/designers: Chris and Lynette White: Musical Director: Phillip Osborne. Tickets: $38/ $33. Bookings: 1300 305771 or 9727 0192.

■ Strathmore Theatrical Arts Group (STAG): The Merry Widows (by Cenarth Fox) May 16 - 26 at the Strathmore Community Hall, Corner Napier and Loeman Streets, Strathmore. Director: Mel de Bono. Tickets: $20/$15. Bookings: 9382 6284.

■ The Basin Theatre: The Woman in Black May 17 - June 8 at The Basin Theatre, Corner Doongalla and Simpson Roads, The Basin. Director: Justin Stephens. Tickets: $25. Bookings: 1300 784 668 www.basintheatre.org.au ■ Moreland Theatre Company: Arsenic and Old Lace (by Joseph Kesselring) May 23 - June 1 at the Mechanics Institute Performing Arts Centre, Corner Sydney and Glenlyon Roads, Brunswick. Director: Rick Barry. Tickets: $25/$18. Bookings: www.moreland.org.au ■ Brighton Theatre Company: Picasso at the Lapin Agile (by Steve Martin) May 23 - June 8 at the Clocktower Theatre, Corner Wilson and Carpenter Streets, Brighton. Director: Jeff Saliba. Tickets: $20/$18. Bookings: 1300 752 126 or www.brightontheatreco.com ■ The Mount Players: The Threepenny Opera (by Bertolt Brecht), May 24 - June 23 at 56 Smith Street, Macedon. Director: Leo Vandervalk: Musical Director: Peter Weerts. Tickets: $28/$25.

Bookings: www.themountplayers.com.au ■ Gemco Players Community Theatre: Don't Drink the Water (by Woody Allen) May 24 - June 1 at the Gem Community Arts Centre, 19 Kilvington Drive, Emerald. Director: Kym Davies.

Tickets: $24/$22. Bookings: www.gemcoplayers.org ■ Lilydale Athenaeum Theatre: Laughter on the 23rd Floor (by Neil Simon) May 29 - June 15 at the Lilydale Athenaeum Theatre, 39-41 Castella Street, Lilydale. Director: Kevin Trask. Tickets: $25/$22. Bookings: www.lilydaleatc.com ■ Fab Nobs Theatre Inc and Williamstown Music Theatre Company: [title of show] June 7 - 15 at the Fab Factory, 33 Industry Place, Bayswater, Bookings: fabnobstheatre.com.au or 0401 018 846. June 20 - 23 at the Williamstown Mechanics Institute, Corner Melbourne Road and Electra Street, Williamstown. Bookings: wtc.org.au 1300 881 545. Tickets: $32/$28.

■ MLOC Productions: Big The Musical June 14 - 22 at the Phoenix Theatre, 101 Glenhuntly Road, Elwood. Director: Trish Carr; Musical Director: Geoff Earle: Choreographer: Keir Jasper.

Tickets: $32/$30/$28. Bookings: www.mloc.org.au ■ Windmill Theatre Company: The Phantom of the Opera June 21 - July 4 at the Drum Theatre, Dandenong. Director: Chris Hughes: Musical Director: Julia Buchanan; Choreographer: Robert Mulholland. Tickets: $39.60/$35.20. Bookings: www.phantomoftheopera.net.au ■ Sunshine Community Theatre: Boston Marriage (by David Mamet), June 28 - July 6 at the Dempster Park Hall, 82 Phoenix Street, North Sunshine. Director: Lee Cook. Tickets: $15/$12.

Bookings: 0407 802165 www.sunshinecommunitytheatre.com

AUDITIONS ■ Strathmore Theatrical Arts Group (STAG): Laying the Ghost (by Simon Williams) May 19 at 5.30pm; May 20 at 7.30pm at the Strathmore Community Hall, Corner Loeman and Napier Streets, Strathmore. For further details visit www.stagtheatre.org ■ Mordialloc Theatre Company: Night Must Fall (by Emlyn Williams) May 19 at 2.00pm at audition venue tba. Director: Lesley Batten. Audition enquiries: 9598 4636.

Merry Widows

● Maree Hingston (back left) and Allyson Hunt, with Margaret Healy (front left), Shirley Cattunar and Michelle Tanner, rehearse for Strathmore Theatrical Art Group’s The Merry Widows, opening on May 16.

Photo: Levon Baird ■ The Strathmore Theatrical Arts Group (STAG) presents the premiere season of The Merry Widows from May 1626 at the Strathmore Community Theatre, Cnr Loeman and Napier Sts, Strathmore.

Written by Melbourne playwright Cenarth Fox and directed by Mel De Bono, The Merry Widows tells of four mature, widowed women living in units in the same retirement village.

They have become friends and meet once a week for coffee. Kate is ‘normal’, Siobhan is a ‘social butterfly’, Ruby has her late husband’s ashes with her in a carry bag, and Jean knows little of the real world, having been locked away for the last 20 years.

These mis-matched widows share their secrets, sorrows, and sins – helping one another to face the future.

Then a new widow arrives! She is different – mysterious and striking – and has a secret or two. She is also on a mission that could destroy the merry band … will it?

Tickets: $20 full price, $15 concession, $2 discount off full price tickets for groups of 10 or more Bookings: 9382 6284 www.stagtheatre.org/reservations

AUDITIONS

■ The Basin Theatre Company: Lend Me a Tenor (by Ken Ludwig) May 22 at 7.30pm at The Basin Theatre, corner Simpson and Doongalla Roads, The Basin. Director: Joe Tuppeney. Audition bookings: 0408 336310.

■ Williamstown Little Theatre: Morning Departure June 3, 4 at 2 Albert Street, Williamstown. Director: Gaentano Santo. Audition bookings: 0419 529 208.

DENDY CINEMA ORGAN RECITAL ■ Silence comes alive on Tuesday, May 21 at 10.30am at the Dendy Cinema, Church St, Brighton.

Theatre organist David Johnston in concert will demonstrate the mighty Dendy Wurlitzer theatre organ, followed by his inimitable accompaniment to Sherlock Jnr, a silent comedy film directed by, and starring Buster Keaton. $20 includes a sit-down boxed lunch, following David’s concert and the movie. Booking and pre-payment is essential by May 17. Enquiries: 9521 9065 or 9589 4912. ● Cheryl Threadgold presents news of local theatre people, shows and auditions. E-mail details to: editor@melbourneobserver.com.au

Page 84 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 15, 2013

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Solution on Page 77

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 15, 2013 - Page 85

Page 86 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 15, 2013

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Telstra Testimonials Send your contribution to editor@MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne

Observer

● ‘Telstra testimonials’ is a weekly section of the Melbourne Observer, where we hold the national communications company to account.

Australians are sick and tired of breakdowns, and a poor service attitude.

Every week we send a copy of the Melbourne Observer to David Thodey, CEO of Telstra, Locked Bag 5639, Melbourne, Vic 3001. He and his staff are always welcome to comment on, and fix, the complaints

On deadline day

Complaints go

■ Telstra appears to have modified the way complaints can be loaded to its Facebook page.

Customer Jill Wells noticed this too: “Interesting. ..you post a complaint here and it disappears from the wall ... a new form of quality control ... or maybe even your Facebook page has been trained to pass the complaint to another Facebook page ...”

Incorrect read ■ Nathan Webb asked: “Why does my data usage always say 200mb remaining even if there's more or none for that matter.

“What's the point of this app if the info it provides in regards to my account, is incorrect?”

Data bill of $500 ■ Renee Steele says she has been overbilled by $500 for data use on her mobile phone: “Are you for real?

We have serious issues. $500.00 in data? You must be joking, no-one on earth can use that data on phone. Look at history, fix this massive mistake.”

● Ash Long, Observer Editor ■ Newspapers revolve around deadlines. We work around-the-clock, especially near print time, to bring readers the latest news from our wire services and contributors.

This edition of the Melbourne Observer was hit with yet another Telstra Bigpond service failure in the vital hours before publication.

Our Telstra connection failed, without warning, late Monday night.

Telstra’s so-called ‘Technical Support’ department could not see any ‘outage’ listed for our local area ... but that only reflects on the quality of information being sent from Australia to the Philippines operators being hired by Telstra on the cheap.

The Filipino staff sometimes try to blame breakdowns on our perfectly good router or modem. We reckon that 99 times out of 100 that these outages are actually caused by Telstra system or ‘exchange’ problems.

The usual ploy of Telstra’s frontof-house call-takers is to book a technician to make a visit to our premises.

This usually get us off the line, so that it becomes someone else’s problem.

The first-available appointments are usually several days away ... absolutely ©useless for a newspaper working to tight deadlines.

Telstra can rarely promptly identify the problems causing these outages. It must be like an airline flying without radar, and having no ideawhere its planes are.

In 2013, it is unacceptable that billpaying customers are plagued with these continual breakdowns in service. The technical answers are available ... so it indicates that the problem is just Telstra’s reluctance to spend the dollars to provide an optimum service to customers.

The Telstra Bigpond service finally re-connected at 7am yesterday (Tues.) ... without explanation, without apology, without compensation.

So over it!

■ Maria Tuoto Canton said: “Can't believe you guys have the nerve to charge me $15 for delayed payment when you didn't even email or post the bill! So over it!”

No signal in Melb ■ Jeeva Nandakumar Sanjeevan said: “Very poor customer service anf trying ... to get the phone signal. Not happy at all. Claiming the coverage for 99 per cent of the population but couldn't cover just 20km from Melbourne CBD.”

■ Victoria Billaney said: “Pre ordered Galaxy S4. (Telstra) said (it) would arrive within 3-5days of being sent.

“It has now been 8-9 says and still has not arrived.”

‘I was under’ ■ Jarrod Goldoni said: “I get a message saying I used 89 per cent of my data . Never got anything again.

“I got my bill , it was double what I should pay.

“How does that work ?

“Should I pay for this extra cost when I never got notified.

“As far as what I knew I was under.”

● Bon Jovi ■ Telstra is supposed to be Australia’s leading communications company. Instead of concentrating on fixing its many network problems, Telstra decided to go into the discount pop music tickets business on Monday this week.

Surprise, surprise ... the Telstra system was not up to scratch with many customers unable to access the website.

Customer Scott Mahon asked: “Why does my complaint keep getting bumped down?”

Waiting 2 weeks ■ Daniel Sinclair comments: “This is just not good enough.. Seriously 40 mins on hold?”

Worst service ■ Hannah Cunningham says: “Worst customer service. Can't wait for my contract to end!”

Huge bills

Connect me No delivery

Put on hold

■ Jo Adamson said: “Not particularly impressed with Telstra. Two months in a row of excess data usage on mobiles when in fact they barely get used. Single income families simply can't afford this.

“Why have wifi at home and work if you still gonna charge us? And to top it off when you speak to a consultant who says nothing they can do about it?”

■ Agata Kula states: “Still waiting to hear about the excessive data charges.

“Despite closing and deleting most of my apps, got another message regarding this months data use.

“I've been closing all background apps, don't download etc.

“Is anyone planning to call me back two weeks later now? Also my phone barely works in Truganina, is that why the data is being used?”

■ Jeremy Smith has a question: “Day 1 of having internet with you guys and the modem cuts in and out every 30 minutes or so.

“Is there like a Premium Racket that you offer people so they can have a steady connection?”

Can’t wait ■ Judy Hewitson Munday said: “ Since I changed from TPG to Bigpond I have had nothing but trouble with logging in, getting account details and service. I really can’t wait until my contract expires ... or was that the wrong thing to write because I will now suffer slow slow slower downloads and access to my account information which I never did with TPG? so much for ultralite ADSL2.”

Bon Jovi farce

■ Kate Crock asks: “Can someone please explain why some of my emails are dribbling through 12, 24 and one at least 48 hours after being sent?

“What’s the story with that one guys? Have had to explain the tardy response to a few people already. Not good enough for a world class service.”

Can’t afford it

Text problems ■ Jonesy Jones Sherman asked: “Can you tell me what is going on with the Telstra network please?

“For months, mine and my boyfriends and various other people’s phone can be texting then all of a sudden, texts messages don't come through for hours after they have been sent.

“This has happened again tonight.

Its been about six hours now and no messages have come through yet.

“I've tried taking my Sim card out then putting it back in, same with the battery. Even tried sending myself a text thinking maybe the,rest will come through but still nothing. Quite frustrating.”

Not good enough

■ Dani Lagarde is surprised at her Telstra bills: “I’m a new Telstra customer, I'm on a $60 mobile plan.

“My second bill was $282 for going over internet usage.

“Receiving a text saying I’ve used over 102 per cent, I upped my usage to 2 GB. “I just relieved my third bill, which is $214 , and I didn't receive a text at all saying i was about to go over.

“I never had this trouble with the previous company.”

No callback ■ Luke Milne asked: “ Telstra, I was wondering when I might be getting a call back? I was told 15 minutes by your telephony system over 30 minutes ago? I would like to say I am surprised, however a pattern seems to be occurring.”

Slow at Ballarat ■ Nathan Kelly says: “Are Telstra going to do anything about the Internet congestion issues in Ballarat?

“My download rate is currently at 120kb per second and I cant use any Bigpond video services or You Tube.... is there an ETA or are we all expected to just live with this?”

Where’s my bill?

■ Cameron Nall is chasing her Telstra account: “So finally I have an avenue to ask a question. The Telstra 24x7 chat area is down.

Tried to call, and got was on hold. So I'm glad I can now present my problem.

“I'm pretty sure it's not just me, but I think there has been a focus on tickets and events emails, but where are our periodic emails for our bills?

“I know I can speak for my partner and myself, but I'm pretty sure we aren't the only ones that this is happening too.

“I'm glad I remember the amount of my bills, but some people might not do so.

“I don't know whether I have to do anything to get my emails to work, or whether there is something wrong on your end, but it would be nice to know when we will get them back please.”

‘Criminal’ ■ Sean Patterson asks: “ Please tell me why I wad only sent a sms about my data once all my credit was already gone? Bloody criminal.”

Telstra blunder ■ Tracey Blunck writes: “Dear Telstra, While undertaking work over two weeks ago on someone else's service you somehow managed to switch our naked DSL line over to a phone line. Since then we have had no internet access and your timeline for fixing this is by May 22. This is almost a month after you caused this problem. I am a Masters student and as you can imagine it is extremely frustrating trying to do research assignments without the internet.”

Still in the queue ■ Wilma de Haan says: “Not happy, been on hold for 35 minutes, need help to set up Sim card for replacement phone. Over 35 minutes, not happy.

These are all real stories. Customer ‘feedback’ sourced from Telstra’s 24/7 page on Facebook

Got a complaint about Telstra? E-mail to editor@ melbourneobserver.com.au or mail to PO Box 1278, Research, Vic 3095

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 15, 2013 - Page 87

Melbourne

Observer Victorian Sport

RACING IS THE POORER ■ Racing is one of those sports where one day you can be a millionaire, the next day you are penniless.

On the other side of the coin you have the great horses that have raced and are still racing who have made a fortune for all connections over their starstudded careers.

In just the last few months we have had three champions retired.

First we had the mighty mare the darling of the turf, Black Caviar, officially retired after 25 for 25 starts, and amassing nearly $8 million dollars in stake earnings.

Not long after came the sudden retirement of top colt, Pierro, after picking up nearly $4.5 million for his owners.

What a record he had, 14starts for 11 wins, a second and two thirds, winning five Group One races.

He had his colours lowered with a second to All Too Hard in the Caulfield Guineas when he was a little unlucky after missing the start slightly and was caught wide.

Gai Waterhouse, his trainer, stepped him up the 2040 metres of the Cox Plate, which I felt was a bit much in the space of a couple of weeks, but he ran a gallant third behind, Ocean Park and All Too Hard.

Then in his last race he was sent out favorite in the Doncaster Handicap over 1600 metres on a heavy 9, and was gallant in defeat behind top New Zealander, Sacred Falls.

Coolmore Stud paid $30 million for the Lohnro bred stallion, who will let down to a beautiful entire.

Gai openly stated that Pierro was the best horse she had trained.

He will stand at $ 77, 000, a serve, and with an average of 200 mares a year, that ain't hay.

Then came the news that the half brother to Black Caviar, All Too Hard, called it a day.

All Too Hard was

by Casino Prince, a very good galloper, trained by Anthony Cummings.

All Too Hard was trained by the Hawkes team, John, Wayne and Michael and was purchased by the Vinery Stud for $ 25 million.

Ted Ryan

Among the owners is Neil Werrett, who is also a part-owner of Black Caviar, he also owns the good sprinting filly Snitzerland, and the good stayer, Fellini, trained by Chris Waller.

All Too Hard will stand a fee of $ 66,000 at Vinery Stud.

On top of all this, with the battle going on with Gai and Singo, who knows maybe we have seen the last of More Joyous strutting her stuff on the track.

Shocking bad luck ■ One of the nicest blokes in Racing, trainer, Stephen Theodore, is a shattered man, after losing his number one meal

ticket in the racing world.

His very good twoyear old, Crack A Roadie, tragically lost his life when he broke free, after having a spell in the waterwalker, and having a nibble on the grass, he suddenly dashed off into the main road outside the track, which always very busy and was hit by a truck.

Stephen always said that he was the best that hehadthroughhisstables, over his eight-year career intraining.

He had high hopes of him winning the recent Blue Diamond at Caulfield, but went amiss in the run.

I have known Stephen for some years, through his father, Les, a long time friend.

● Banna Strand jumps into the unsuspecting crowd in the Grand Annual on May 5, 2011 Sharon Chapman, Fast Track Photography

● Banna Strand with Sharon Chapman after winning the Grand Annual Photo: Sharon Chapman, Fast Track Photography

Showbiz Extra ■ From Page 82

Top 10 Lists COFFY [R18+-1973/Action/Thriller/pam Grier].

NEW RELEASE TELEVISION, DOCUMENTARY AND MUSIC DVD HIGHLIGHTS: MRS. BIGGS [Drama/TV/Series/Sheridan Smith, Danny Mays].

HAVEN: Series 3.

THE DARL CHARISMA OF ADOLPH HITLER. DOCTOR WHO: Visitation (Special Edition).

VOICES OF THE VALLEY LIVE: The Fron Male Voice Choir.

TOP BLU-RAY RENTAL & SELLERS: 1. LIFE OF PI - 3D + Blu-Ray [Drama/Adventure/Irrfan Khan, Suraj Sharma].

2. THE HOBBIT: An Unexpected Journey 3D + Blu-Ray [Fantasy/Adventure/Martin Freeman].

3. SKYFALL [Action/Adventure/Daniel Craig, Javier Bardem, Judi Dench].

4. WRECK-IT RALPH - Blu-ray 3D + Blu-ray [Animated/Family/John C. Reilly, Jack McBrayer].

5. QUARTET [Comedy/Drama/Maggie Smith, Michael Gambon, Billy Connolly].

6. LES MISERABLES [Musical/Drama/Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Anne Hathaway].

7. ARGO [Thriller/Ben Affleck, Alan Arkin, John Goodman].

8. PARENTIAL GUIDANCE [Comedy/Family/Billy Crystal, Bette Midler, Marisa Tomei].

9. TWILIGHT SAGA: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 [Drama/Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson].

10. TROUBLE WITH THE CURVE [Drama/Clint Eastwood, John Goodman, Amy Adams].

Also: Alex Cross, Schindler's List, Rise of the Guardians, The Man With The Iron Fists, Perks of Being a Wallflower, Red Dawn, The Intouchables, Pitch Perfect, Lawless, Taken 2.

In 3D + Blu-Ray Combo: Top Gun, Dredd, Frankenweenie, Shrek, Kung Fu Panda.

NEW RELEASE HIGHLIGHTS ON BLU-RAY THIS WEEK: GANGSTER SQUAD [Crime/Drama/Action/Sean Penn, Josh Brolin, Ryan Gosling].

HITCHCOCK [Drama/Anthony Hopkins, Helen Mirren, Scarlett Johansson, Danny Huston].

THIS IS 40 [Comedy/Maude Apatow, Leslie Mann, Paul Rudd].

HAMILTON: But Not If It Concerns Your Daughter [Thriller/Stephen Waddington].

Anna Mott in new role

● Banna Strand stretching out in front of the crowd after the Tozer Road double, the scene of his infamous jump in 2011 Photo: Sharon Chapman, Fast Track Photography Les trained the very photo shot by Sharon National Sale received smart galloper, Cam- Chapman at Warr- an unprecedented paign King, before be- nambool a couple of boost with news that ing taken over by Bart years back when the Auction will inCummings and from Sharon was on the spot, clude the quality memory had some- and captured a world packed Farm Unrething to do with another first photo of him jump- served Reduction sale.

Some 470 lots ranggreat galloper, Better ing the fence at the ing from weanlings to back of the track.

Loosen Up. This year he went present day Group One Stephen before Crack A Roadie had one better winning the race fillies and mares another very smart one Grand Annual and our will go under the hamin, Count Ricardo, a little lady was de- mer at the country's winner of the Sandown lighted to get a shot of premier breeding stock Guineas and a third in him with her after the sale.

The 470 lots from race. the Victoria Derby.

It was captured this Patinack Farm will be Les felt even though Count Ricardo had time by former tops on top of the hundreds good form on the jumps jockey, Brett of outstanding entries board, he was of the Scott, who snapped the received from other owners, breeders and opinion that Crack A double.

The other shot fea- vendors for the auction Roadie would be his tured is Banna Strand which will get underbest.

It is shocking bad in the race snapped by way on May 27 Make up of the draft luck, let's hope the Sharon again.

They are magnifi- will be as follows: wheel of fortune will turn his way in the not cent shots and well 24 weanlings. worthy of a talented 134 yearlings. too distant future. lady, our Sharon.

202 Racehorses (including 101, 2yo's, 73, 3 y.o's, and 28 older ■ Banna Strand, the racing prospects). horse we featured, a ■ The Magic Millions 110 broodmares.

Banna Strand Big sale

■ The Riverina Millinery Association Inc. is pleased to announce that Anna Mott of Racing Fashion Australia, has confirmed her role as ambassador for the 2014 International Millinery Forum which will be held in Wagga Wagga NSW, Australia between January 12-17, 2014.

As the current Editor of RFA Racing Fashion Australia, Anna is thrilled to be a part of International Millinery Forum 2014, an established event that will bring milliners from around the world together to share skills, source the latest trends and get a head start on the 2014 fashion trends.

“The International Millinery Forum attracts some of the most inspiring and high caliber international and Australian tutors and I for one am excited to be heading to Wagga Wagga this January” Anna Mott, 2014 Ambassador.

Starting in the fashion industry when she left school at the age of 17, Anna became a booker for one of Melbourne's top modeling agencies, which gave her insight into the fashion world. With a degree in Fashion Editing and Styling from renown Australian College as well as a Diploma of Fashion Styling from London College of Fashion, Anna is proud to be a spokesperson for the upcoming event.

“Coming from a racing fashion background, I can appreciate the professional and social opportunity the forum presents and I would invite milliners, retailers and my colleagues in the fashion industry worldwide to capitalize on one of region Australia’s highest profile millinery events” Anna said.

Racing fashion and millinery enthusiasts can now access news and updates on the IMF 2014 via the RMA’s website www.riverinamillinery.com.au

Page 88 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 15, 2013

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne

Observer Victorian Sport Racing Briefs

Tough run at Bendigo ■ Great Western trainer/driver Michelle Manning has Safely Kept/Sunelle filly Frances Annie racing at the peak of form at present, chalking up her second victory in five race appearances by taking the Staffordshire Park 3-Y-0 Trotters Mobile at Bendigo.

Starting from the extreme draw, Manning wasted no time in sending Frances Annie forward to park outside the pacemaker Chevals Racers and despite over racing at times was always travelling.

Despite the tough passage, Frances Annie raced clear on straightening to score by 7 metres from the leader in a rate of 1-59.8, with Bellmac Cody (one/ one last lap) third.

Led easily throughout ■ Bolinda trainer Vince Vallelonga's Artesian/Witch Hunt 5-Y-0 gelding Salem chalked up his 6th victory in 26 outings when an easy winner of the Kilmore Mitre 10 Pace for C2 & C3 class over 2180 metres at Kilmore on Wednesday.

Taking a concession for Kiwi Kyle Marshall presently attached to Brent Lilley's stable, Salem flew away from gate four to lead easily and after being rated a treat, coasted to the wire 15.8 metres in advance of Tombstone Eden which moved outside him on the home turn, with Fusion (three back the markers) third. The mile rate 1-59.3.

Followed the leader ■ Melton's Ken Tippet was successful with 4-Y-0 Life Sign/Next Comment gelding Winter Lane in the Stawell veterinary Clinic Pace for C0 class over 1780 metres at Stawell on Wednesday.

A former NSW performer, Winter Lane led throughout from gate two in defeating Surface To Air which raced outside him, with Life Is A Pleasure third after following the winner throughout. The mile rate 2-00.2.

Going great guns ■ Melton trainerAlison Chisholm has Washington Vc/ Suratani filly Missanger Management going great guns at present, notching up her second victory since being taken over by the stable by greeting the judge in the Mothers Day Lunch At Kilmore Trackside 3-Y-0 Pace over 1690 metres at Kilmore on Wednesday.

Driven by Brian Gath Missanger Management was immediately restrained from inside the second line to possie five back in the moving line, with the well backed Art De Triumph leading from gate five.

Set alight three wide racing for the bell to park outside the front runner, Missanger Management surged clear on straightening to register a 1.3 metre victory in a rate of 2-00.2 over Koori Art (one/one) and Susila which trailed the leader.

13th win in 39 runs ■ Kilmore trainer/driver Robbie Walters has Jet Laag/Lombo Luvbird filly Hollys Miss Molly airborne at present, bringing up a hat-trick of wins by taking the Kilmore Football Club Pace for C1 class over 2180 metres at her home track on Wednesday May 8.

Given the run of the race from the pole trailing the heavily backed Kensington Palace (gate three), Hollys Miss Molly sailed through along the sprint lane to score untouched over the pacemaker in a rate of 2-01.4, with Chesire Cat third for Steve Cleave after racing in the open. It was Hollys Miss Molly's 13th success in 39 outings.

Backed for bundles ■ Avenel trainer Wayne Potter snared the KRC Facebook "Like" Competition Pace for C1 class over 1690 metres with ex-NSW 5-Y-0 Art Major/Quick As Can Be gelding Artistic Warrior which was backed for bundles late in betting.

Driven a dashing race by the stable's Mark Pitt, Artistic Warrior raced by former Kilmore resident Jack Knight began best to lead from gate three, before kicking away at the straight entrance to win in a breeze from Ok To Fly (one/one) and Sir Philo who raced in the open. The mile rate 2-00.7.

LUCK GOES SHANE’S WAY

■ There is usually a plethora of NSW visitors at most Cobram meetings and such was the case again on Monday May 6 when the Wagga Wagga 4-Y-0 D M Dilinger/Rose Of Sharon gelding Stuart greeted the judge in the $5000 Cobram Lions Club Pace Final for C0 class over 1670 metres which qualified in the heats held at the Kyabram fixture at Echuca on April 28.

Trained and driven by Shane Hallcroft who is no stranger to Victorian meetings, Stuart had luck go his way after settling three back along the markers from gate two, with Rogues Reward leading from gate six for the Douglas team and the hot favourite Shifty Shivas leading the outside division.

When the leader galloped in the last lap veering wide, Maybe Better which was trailing the pacemaker gained a saloon passage to lead, with Stuart hard on his back.

Using the sprint lane, Stuart was able to nose out a game Shifty Shivas in a mile rate of 1-59.2, with Maybe Better 2.6 metres away in third place after having every chance.

A winner at Albury on March 23, Stuart has fronted the starter on 21 occasions for 3 wins.

Sixth win ■ Narrandera trainer Shaun Snudden combined with stable "apprentice" Paul Diebert to capture the Soroptimists International Cobram Barooga Pace for C0 class over 1670 metres with Ponder/Allfake filly Thinking Of You, bringing up her 6th victory for the season by leading throughout from the pole to blitz her rivals in 1-58.3 over Foyer which trailed and Rocket Seal which switched down to the sprint lane from three back the moving line.

Thinking Of You was making her 11th appearance at the races.

Two wins ■ Astute Invergordon trainer Ian Ward brought up two wins in succession and eight overall with 5-Y-0 Pacific Fella/Vivacia gelding What A Fine Fella who landed the Moira Shire Pace for C2 to C4 class over 2170 metres.

Driven by Gavin Lang who has been making regular visits to the provincial area's this season, What A Fine Fella from gate four was restrained at the start to settle four back along the markers, easing off the inside to momentarily race parked approaching the bell, before gaining cover

Baker’s Delight

Harness Racing

This Week’s Meetings Wednesday - Charlton/Ballarat, Thursday - Shepparton/Bendigo, Friday - Ouyen @ Mildura/Melton, Saturday - Cranbourne, Sunday - Sebastian @ Melton, Monday - Horsham, Tuesday - Kilmore.

Melbourne

Observer

len-baker@ bigpond.com

with Len Baker

when Jordie Louise moved forward three wide to race outside the leader Twindet.

Taken three wide on the final bend, What A Fine Fella cruised to the front in the straight, scoring by 6.1 metres in a rate of 1-59 from Jordie Louise which fought on gamely, with Hezfullarunning (four wide home turn) third.

Easy victor ■ Leeton gelding Royal Canvas (Royal Mattjesty/ Art Allover) was an easy victor of the CobramBarooga Apex Club 3-Y-0 Pace over 2170 metres in a rate of 2-01.5 in an all NSW trifecta.

Driven by Shepparton's Nathan Jack for trainer Bill Trembath, Royal Canvas flew away from gate four to lead and with no pressure being applied for the entire race, kicked away on straightening to record a 3.1 metre margin over Wongalea Bingo which shadowed him all of the way after starting next door.

Royal Direction finished third after trailing the winner and using the sprint lane to no avail.

Concerns ■ On the home front, Echuca trainer Wayne Lear combined with Duncan Dornauf to land the Katunga Lucerne Mill 3-Y0 Pace over 2170 metres with Million To One/Sweet Maddy Lombo gelding Maharaja Lombo, but not before giving his supporters some concern after causing a false start at the first attempt.

Doing everything right at take two, Maharaja Lombo ($20.30) led throughout from the pole to defeat Neville Welsh's Zedalite which trailed in a rate of 1-59.4, with the heavily supported Crusader Acey third after racing in the open.

Sizzler ■ Undera's Glenn Freeman snared the Barooga Lions Club Pace Final for

Horses To Follow ■ Coast Patrol, Lotsa Life, Cookeyslass, Arty Chick, Armbro Higgens, Cheshire Cat, Fill Up, Tombstone Eden, Donated.

Doreen pair enjoy win C1 class over 1670 metres with 6-Y-0 Jennas Beach Boy/Sweet Connection gelding War Emblem in a brilliant rate of 1-55.3.

Driven by Brian Gath, War Emblem from gate three on the second line was given a cosy passage mid-field in the moving line, with Fine Time To Cruise (gate three) setting a sizzler being shadowed

by Wayne Lear's Weekend Rustler which had gone forward from gate four.

Asked for an effort on straightening, War Emblem finished full of running to score by 1.1 metres over a game Weekend Rustler, with Jazz King (one/one) third.

Smart one ■ Long Forest duo Andy & Kate Gath scored an easy victory with smart It Is I/Shot Of Sugar colt Quadentate at Lord's Raceway Bendigo on Tuesday, taking out the Petstock Pace for C3 to C4 class over 2150 metres.

Showing plenty of speed from gate six, Quadentate had little difficulty in crossing to the pegs in advance of Conflict Of Interest (gate three) who's driver Josh Duggan was content to take a trail.

Always travelling, Quadentate toyed with his rivals in a returning a mile rate of 1-59.2, winning by 6.8 metres in advance of Conflict Of Interest and Pacific Gale which followed the pair.

Number 10 ■ Romsey owner/trainer/ driver Paul Green's 11-Y-0 Catch A Flight/Incoming gelding chalked up his 10th victory at start number 129 by leading throughout in the Bendigo Bank Pace for C2 class over 1650 metres at Bendigo.

Beginning brilliantly from gate four as he usually does to lead clearly, Catch A Flight ($25.80) bowled along at his leisure before giving his rivals the slip on the home turn.

- Len Baker

■ Doreen pair John Yeomans and stable foreman Shane Gallagher were successful with 4-Y-0 Life Sign/Starlitestarbright gelding Ohyeah Lifegoeson in the Envision Design Vicbred Pace for C0 class over 1690 metres at Kilmore.

Driven by Gavin Lang, Ohyeah Lifegoeson was sent forward from outside the front line to lead and once there, was untroubled to run out an easy winner in advance of Armbro Higgens (one/one - three wide last lap) on debut, with Lineofcredit third after trailing the winner. The mile rate 1-59.8.

Took honours at Stawell ■ Great Western sisters Michelle and Kerryn Manning took the honours at the Stawell fixture held on Wednesday May 8th, Michelle with a training and driving double - Wheatsheaf Avaball and Aheadofhistime and Kerryn with a driving double Shandorlass and Paparazzi Snapshot.

Seven year old Presidential Ball/Dontsayawordbut gelding Wheatsheaf Avaball has raced consistently all season and deserved his victory in the Stawell Florist Pace for C4 & C5 class over 2175 metres.

Restrained from outside the front row to settle at the tail of the field with the leaders Peaces Of You, Run Ripalong, Weallwantano and Giveusagrin all scorching out as the starter despatched the field with Run Ripalong the first to ease, it was clearly seen that those at the back of the field were well suited.

Copping plenty of pressure mid-race from Giveusagrin and Weallwantano (three wide), Peaces Of You was sitting target and gave ground in the final circuit with Giveusagrin racing straight past her to lead approaching the home turn.

After a cosy trip one/one, Kerryn eased Run Ripalong three wide on the final bend with Wheatsheaf Avaball joining in three wide.

Finishing best, Wheatsheaf Avaball scored by 2.8 metres in a rate of 2-00.6 over Run Ripalong, with Peter Manning's Torque Artraction third from midfield.

Tough Village Jasper/All In Good Time gelding Aheadofhistime was a strong victor of the Grampians Estate 3-Y-0 Pace over 1780 metres.

Trapped four wide from outside the front row, then three wide before parking outside the pacemaker Idle Hands, Aheadofhistime surged clear on the home turn to defeat Four Starzzz Fella (one/one) by 1.4 metres in 2-02.3, with Idle Hands holding down third.

Lasted by half-head ■ Murray Bridge (S-A) trainer Alan Cronin employed Kerryn's services to steer 4-Y-0 It Is I/Shandor mare Shandorlass to an all the way victory from the pole in the Gold Reef Clothing Pace for C0 class over 1780 metres.

Given an easy time, Shandorlass just lasted by a half head from Mayorofshinetown which raced outside her in a rate of 2-00.4, with Extra third after following the winner.

Overcame 40m backmark ■ Armstrong (Ararat) trainer Brooke Hansen's 6Y-0 Grinfromeartoear/Hyclass Sioux mare Paparazzi Snapshot overcame a daunting 40 metre backmark to land the Renown Silverware Trotters Handicap for T0 or better class over 2175 metres.

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 15, 2013 - Page 89

Page 90 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 15, 2013

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Melbourne

Observer Victorian Sport

ABSOLUTE CONFUSION OVER MARKING

■ There is absolute confusion amongst media and coaches from Jeff Gieschen’s attempt to explain the “the mark Rule”.

It has put genuine marking contests back to the strongest wrestler and negative spoiler’s delight.

We agree ‘high marking’is the most exciting aspect of our game. The ‘win at all costs’ approach by coaches, and players cheating because they lack the ability to fairly contest the marking duel, have won the day.

Just when Jeff and his umpires’ were getting the rule right.

It took them less than a week to weaken the umpires’ resolve!

The ‘expert’ commentators, most former players, and coaches came out with all guns blazing telling us how the rule and interpretation should be judged.

It was “back in our day we could do this”.

And they were supported by Jeff’s ridiculous attempts to explain “the bumper bar arm” and the “50 per cent arm extension” were permissible in the marking contest. This served to confuse the issue.

Unfortunately confusion won the day. But that’s the coaches’ role. Winning is the prime objective. It is up to the umpires’ to protect the game’s presentation and image.

Any part of the body used to negate the opposition player to take the mark is illegal and should be punished with a ‘free-kick’.

And get this point straight – this includes bumping, pushing, blocking a player attempting to mark in the side or front on, unless the ball is within five metres. It was so written to protect this unique feature of our game.

Yes, the fist spoil is allowed as demonstrated by Hawthorn’s Josh Gibson and others, provided in this action they don’t push the opposition player out of the contest.

In this round, umpires were obviously instructed to forget the true law – we can’t afford the criticisms- so it was back to push and shove. Exactly the same with the ‘one metre apart’ for the ruckmen contesting ‘throw-ups’ (an apt word in my view) and boundary throwins.

So the Laws Committee bring in ‘interpretations’ to help suspect umpiring and retain these unique features but coaches, older and shorter ruckmen decide the umpires won’t continually free-kick me and after a few weeks we are back to the old ‘rugby’ wrestle.

Griffin out for season ■ Fremantle ruckman Jon Griffin will miss the rest of the season after injuring his right knee in the club’s 27point win over Collingwood at Paterson’s Stadium at the weekend.

Scans confirmed that the 27-yearold had torn his anterior cruciate ligament and will undergo a knee reconstruction.

General Manager of Football Operations, Chris Bond, said a decision would be made in the next few days as to the timing of the surgery.

“Jon has been in great form and it’s bitterly disappointing,” Bond said.

“But knowing his character and professionalism, Jon will be doing everything that’s required through his rehabilitation phase to be back playing footy next season ,” Bond said.

mark or to spoil. If they want to spoil they must not push the player (s) in the back in the attempt to spoil and their fist must clearly and cleanly hit the ball away from the marker again without interfering with the apponent’s arms, hands or body.

The ‘KISS’ principle makes it all very simple, provided honesty extends to the players, commentators and the coaches.

Entertainment!

Harry Beitzel www.squidoo.com/harrybeitzel Footifying Australia ■ The AFL is supporting the launch of NAB’s new national campaign focused on 'Footifying Australia'.

The campaign brings together NAB’s long-term support for Australian football from the grassroots to the elite level, via a host of programs including NAB AFL Auskick, the NAB AFL Rising Stars program and the NAB Cup. This year is the 11th year NAB has been in partnership with the AFL, providing ongoing support across all levels of the game.

The campaign will demonstrate, through a range of initiatives, how NAB has been ‘Footifying Australia’ for more than a decade and how football fans can also play a role in in their everyday lives.

Through the Footifying Australia campaign, NAB is seeking to convert as many people as possible from non-supporters to supporters of Australia’s game.

AFL Chief Executive Officer, Andrew Demetriou, said he welcomed a campaign that was focused on converting more people to Australian football.

“NAB has been a key supporter of Australia's game for over a decade now and the Footifying Australia campaign is just another example of how passionate they are about growing the game right around the country,” Mr Demetriou said.

“Footifying Australia recognises all aspects of NAB’s support, whether it’s introducing kids to football through NAB AFL Auskick – which sees more than 180,000 boys and girls playing the game - or providing a platform for the AFL’s elite to shine via the NAB Cup and the NAB Rising Star program.”

Gavin Slater, NAB Group Executive Personal Banking, said NAB was excited to launch a campaign that offered genuine scope for fan participation.

"Since 2002 we have been Footifying Australia through NAB AFL Auskick, the NAB AFL Rising Stars Program and NAB Cup. “We're proud of how we have grown the game and we are excited to grow it further by harnessing the people power of footy fans across the nation," Mr Slater said.

The Footifying Australia campaign launched via a TV commercial

during last Friday’s Round 7 match between Geelong and Essendon – and can be seen at youtu.be/ Mzhk4yIw5j8

Readers’ letters ■ “HB, you are absolutely correct on all fronts in your reading of the high marking law.

“Jeff Gieschen’s comments added to the confusion!

- David, ■ “Harry, Great to see that your insights are as incisive as ever and long may people have the benefit of your intuition.

Best regards, - Pat Daly GAA Dublin

Keep it simple ■ I’m using Kevin Bartett’s response to the “marking” controversy highlighted by the Scott Thompson freekick on David Hale.

No player in my career was more adept at “foxing” a free kick. He knew the rules as a player and has had the ‘guts’ to write the facts on the marking law.

I agree with ‘Hungry’s’ comments. Of course the coaches and the players know if they are legitimately attempting to take the mark.

I don’t retract my criticism of some of the many ;interpretations’. Suffice to say the ‘sliding’ tackle needs more examination.

The ‘feather touch’ push, under the strictest, technical reading of the law could be correct if Hale was attempting to mark the ball.

I remind the host of ex-players turned commentators, the critical coaches and the mischievous media hounds a player cannot mark the ball with a clenched fist. Hale was out to ‘spoil’ not take the mark.

If players were brutally honest with themselves they would know whether their genuinely attempting to take the

■ Thank heavens this column is read or scanned by the hierarchy of the AFL who are doing their utmost to present our great game as unadulterated entertainment. And the best sports entertainment in the world.

If we agree then for this article Entertainment is No.1.

I’ve tried to work by the KISS (Keep It Simple Son!) principle. So I pose this question. What is the most important factor/action in our game to insure No.1 spot?

I say the high mark! (Yes you can advance the high speed running of Rioli and Jetta. The brilliant 70m goals from ‘Buddy’, the uncanny ‘soccer dribble’ boundary line goals from Best, Wells, Thomas and a host of others who have mastered the art but the High Mark inspired an Australian war cry and a hit-song Up There Cazaly!)

Can the current ‘canny coaches’(whose mantra is to “win at all costs”) and star former players turned expert commentators, “marking was different in my day!”, ever considered the clear cut spelling out of the mark Law? Have you as an individual or a group ever queried, “can you mark a ball with a ‘clench fist’?”

Coaches for more than 100 years have been trying to destroy the great forwards biggest asset of ‘high marking’ going back to Collingwood’s Dicky Lee, Gordon Coventry, Ron Todd and Swans’ Bob Pratt through to John Coleman.

Now the media ‘heavy hitters’ have “joined in the chorus ...” to bring back the push, shove, wrestle, block, hit hands and arms and any other illegal tactic to prevent the player legitimately flying for the high mark to take it.

And this same group preach they want our game to be the greatest spectacle and entertainment in the world.

Somehow they have mesmerised umpires’ GM, Jeff Gieschen, based on his comments from his interview with Gerard Healy’s On The Couch last week.

Jeff, you managed to confuse us even more! Your umpires were getting thelaw right after their colleagues of the past 30 years just gave up and allowed any defender’s illegal spoil as acceptable.

Back to the critical incident in the Adelaide v Hawthorn match in the previous week involving Umpire Ray Chamberlain’s free paid to Hawk David Hale for a ‘feather’ push by Crow Scott Thompson who took the mark.

Jeff says ‘Razor Ray’ was ‘technically’ right for the push but then changed his mind and said he was wrong. I take it the ‘feather push’ was not severe enough. That ruling is wrong.

Analyse the video and you will clearly see Hale was caught out of position and tried to back into Thompson with a flailing clench fist to spoil.

The mark and if Thompson had dropped it the free would still be his

ROUND 8 Friday, May 17 West Coast Eagles vs. North Melbourne (PS) (N) Saturday, May 18 Essendon vs. Brisbane Lions (ES) Hawthorn vs. GWS GIANTS (AU) Gold Coast SUNS vs. Western Bulldogs (MS) (T) Collingwood vs. Geelong Cats (MCG) (N) Sydney Swans vs. Fremantle (SCG) (N) Sunday, May 19 Carlton vs. Port Adelaide (ES) (E) Richmond vs. Melbourne (MCG) Adelaide Crows vs.

St Kilda (AS) (T)

for the attempted illegal spoil. Jeff, you should have stopped at this point but you went onto say a player can use his forearm as a ‘bumper bar’, arms and hands have to be fully extended to be illegal and other confusing comments.

Jeff, remember the KISS principle – the simple and correct ruling as explained in the High Marking Law, “a defending player cannot tackle an opponent “in the back or side” if the ball is bot within 5m”.

The greatest umpires’ coach of all time was Bill Blackburn who spelt it out ‘loud and clear’ with a ball coming in from a distance it travels at a ‘split’ second every 5m, so in high marking forget the 5m!

Under the one umpire system we never had a problem. It was either a mark or a free!

If your lads are still confused tell them to use’the Commonsense Rule’.

What’s best for the game!

So Jeff, your current umpires find this law as their biggest problem – please just set them right and you must forget the pressure from paid coaches and media.

Harry’s Top 6

■ Kevin Sheedy asked Harry Beitzel for his five greatest achievements (he’s given 6) in his AFL life.

He hits you from left-field so I won “Here is his current List: (there is still time for more) “1. Our talk in the motel after we presented the Sapphire Southern League’s Awards in 1988. You suggested having Jim Stynes and Sean Wight’s parents hooked up by phone to my 3AW call of the preliminary final Melbourne defeating Carlton. It put Melbourne into the Grand Final. And the post match dramatic interviews with Jim and Sean with their ‘Moom’ and Dad and the sensational effect on Ron Barassi and Tommy Lahiff. It was the highest ever rated 3AW footy broadcast. Your idea Sheeds!

“2. 1967 Galahs defeating Co Meath at pure Gaelic football by 15 points at Croke Park Dublin. A big gamble which paid off. And led to official IRS. “3. 1955 Grand Final and 1956 selected Victoria’s umpire at the ANFC Carnival in Perth “4. 1958 comeback game Wangaratta C/Coach x Saint Jack McDonald v Wang Rovers, Bob Rose C/C after achilles operation by John Jens.

“5. Talk before 1995 Leongatha d Traralgon by 83 pts. Brian ‘Choco’ Royal C/C and 2000 talk Pennant Hills d North Shore by 38 points.

6. All the AFL Awards/No.1 Member Junior Clubs/Swans Ambassadorship. Mighty big compliment for a broken down ‘old umpire’!”

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 15, 2013 - Page 91

Page 92 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 15, 2013

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