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■ Arts Centre Melbourne productions such as School Dance and Warhorse are part ofthe nation’s largest education program released on Monday night. Arts Centre Melbourne Education Program is designed to facilitate quality learning and lasting engagement with the performing arts. Arts Centre Melbourne Education Program takes place onsite, in schools and online and are designed to develop key competencies, critical thinking and creativity. In 2013, Arts Centre Melbourne will introduce its Partner Schools’ Initiative, a three-year collaboration with 20 regional and local schools for eligible students to attend 2-3 events in each calendar year.

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Page 2 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, February 20, 2013

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, February 20, 2013 - Page 3

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City Desk

Melbourne

Observer

The hottest news about Melbourne’s A-listers

The Buzz

Paul Kelly sells out

Gatecrashers

● Angela and Melina ■ Victoria’s ‘Real Housewives’ Angela and Melina have re-entered My Kitchen Rules TV program (Seven Network) this week.

Also back on the show are BFF (Best Friends Forever) Ashlee and Sophia (NSW); and the Western Australia: ‘Food Nerds’ Kieran and Nastassia.

● Paul Kelly

■ Paul Kelly and Neil Finn have sold out their Palais Theatre shows which debuted at the weekend.

Their March 4 and 5 shows are also sold out, but publicist Julie Cavanagh says a few tickets have become available for the March 6 event.

The shows include family members Elroy Finn on drums, and Dan Kelly on guitars.

Glenn Frey and the Melbourne Pops Orchestra will perform at the Palais, St Kilda, on Friady night (Feb. 22).

Under The Clocks Masons on TV

Roger!

● Bob Jones ■ Freemasons Victoria Grand Master Bob Jones has announced that his fraternity will air a weekly TV program on Channel 31 from 8.30pm on Monday, March 4.

The show will be hosted by former 3AW staffer Wes Turnbull, with Lena Way and Jennifer Piper also appearing. See Page 10.

● Roger Hodgson ■ The voice of Supertramp, Roger Hodgson, will perform in Melbourne next month.

Hodgson is booked to play the Palais, St Kilda, on Thursday, March 28. He has been recognised as one of the most gifted composers, songwriters and lyricists of our time.

IT’S HAIRSPRAY

To Canberra

● Cheryl Threadgold ■ Observer columnist Cheryl Threadgold has just returned to Melbourne after attending the Order of Australia conference in Canberra.

Cheryl received the Medal of the Order Of Australia in the June 2010 honours “for service to the performing arts, particularly through the Mordialloc Light Opera Company, and to the community”.

Wicked returns ■ Stephen Sondheim’s musical, Wicked, is returning to the Australian stage. Theatre dates have yet to be advised. Will Bert Newton, fresh from heart surgery, be resigned?

● Rehearsals are well underway for the Cardinia Performing Arts Company's production of Hairspray, opening Saturday (Feb. 23) in Pakenham. Taking a break are Council girls from the Corny Collins Show, (from left) Sonyta Trahar, Ali Ryan, Emma Marson and Teagan Hart, with Josh Lovell as Corny Collins.

■ The Cardinia Performing Arts Company (CPAC) presents the lively musical Hairspray on February 23, March 1, 2, at 8.00pm, February 24, March 3 at 2pm and March 7 at 7pm at the Cardinia Performing Arts Centre, Lakeside Blvd., Pakenham. Tickets: Full price $32, Concession $29, Family (two adults, two children) $105. Bookings: www.trybooking.com or phone 0407 090354 or email rrene70@hotmail.com David Atkins and Dein Perry’s Hot Shoe Shuffle will return to Her ★ Majesty’s Theatre, Melbourne, on August 10. Morgan JunorLarwood (Slap), Rob Mallett (Buck), Mitchell Hicks (Wing), Alexander ‘Zan’ Kermond (Tip), Max Patterson (Tap), and Mason Schaube (Slide) will join Bobby Fox (Spring), David Atkins (Dexter) and Jaz Flowers (April) in this revival production Comedian Carl Barron is performing his One Ended Stick show at the Palais Theatre, St Kilda, on Saturday and Sunday (Feb. 23-24).

Angela Lansbury and James Earl Gray will appear in Driving Miss Daisy at the Comedy Theatre in a five-week season starting April 7.

Sir David Attenborough will be touring in June, reprising his sold out 2012 performance, A Life on Earth. He will appear at The Plenary, Melbourne Convention and Exhibition Centre on Sat., June 22.

★ ★ ★

Melbourne Moments 60th birthday

White Night

■ Greens activist Linda Laos is holding her 60th birthday celebrations at the Eltham North Hall from 7pm on Friday, March 7.

Linda is hoping for “an evening of music, singing, dancing and laughter”.

■ Animating Laneways will be launched this Saturday (Feb. 23) by the RMIT Gallery.

The White Night Melbourne Outer Limits Event will be staged at 7pm in the Laneway off Lt La Trobe St, behind the RMIT Bookshop.

It will feature music by The Cheeky Falcon Band from 7.30pm-8.30 pm.

Artwork for the five-month moving storyboard is being provided by Ghostpatrol, Miso, Twoone and design studio Oh Yeah Wow, says Public Programs Co-ordinator Evelyn Tsitas.

Julie Andrews ■ An Evening With Julie Andrews will be staged at Hamer Hall, at 8pm on Friday, May 31. Tickets go on sale on March 5. There are packages wjich include a ‘meet and greet’ with the Sound of Music star.

● Linda Laos

● Wes Turnbull (front, centre) and Freemasons: The Inside Story presenters (from left) Jennifer Piper, Ben Quick, Donna De La Rue, Mark Vincent, Lena Way and Peter Henshall

What’s On In Melbourne

Mighty Duke and the Lord present their own interpretation ★ of calypso at the Speigletent at the

Arts Centre on Friday-Saturday, March 1-2. Swing sensations The Shuffle Club take over from 12.30am Artist Lisa Tomasetti’s forth coming exhibition Behind the Scenes: The Australian Ballet on the International Stage will be staged at the James Makin Gallery, Collingwood. It will be officially opened by David McAllister, Artistic Director, Australian Ballet, at 8pm ● Mighty Duke on Thurs., March 7.

Trevor Ashley’s “decadent drag” show I’m Every Woman continues at The Speigeltent until Saturday (Feb. 23) with 27 dresses, 14 wigs and one performer. The audience is likely to see Judy, Dusty, Whitney and new life into Liza, Tina and Cher, with the help of a four-piece band.

★

★

PHOTO: IKON IMAGES

Page 4 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, February 20, 2013

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Mark Richardson ♥ Straight from the heart

E-Mail: mark@localmedia.com.au

Famous Speigeltent’s spectacular heart ■ The Famous Speigeltent situated in the forecourt at the Arts Centre Melbourne is hard to miss - particularly at night.

As Melbourne's street lights shine through the stained glass windows, you can imagine Nicole Kidman and Ewen McGregor being moments away from bursting on stage in song complete with stars, clouds and burlesque dancers. Spectacular! Spectacular!

This Grande Belgian Dame has spent her lifetime stirring imaginations for thousands of people all at the bequest of festivals around Europe (and beyond); and will again play host to live music, comedy, cabaret, supper club and circus to Melburnians until April 21.

Built in 1920 by master craftsmen Oscar Mols Dom and Loius Goor,Arts Centre Melbourne, Spiegeltent Manager, Linda Catalano, feels privileged programming the operational running of the tent with her team each day.

Its rich history and impressive list of past performers adds to its mystique, romanticism and fame.

On her aging, yet glamorous Porch, Linda explained why believes the reflections of the many wonderful performances remain within the 93 yearold surrounding mirrors inside the Famous Spiegeltent; adding another dimension of discovery for everyone who 'rolls up' for glamour and entertainment in an intimate environment.

What is the history of Spiegeltents?

Nick Cave. I think seeing him perform in a space this size would be magical.

What is the funniest comment or feedback you've received?

"So…you're telling me you've got a kitchen sink in here but you don't have a toilet". My reply was "That's exactly right. She's the poshest tent in show business, but she's a tent none the less".

What is your Porch Thought of The Day? Sequins and sparkle improve almost any situation.

- Mark Richardson

Showtime Porch Thoughts Speigeltents are hand-hewn pavilions used as travelling dance halls, bars and entertainment salons since they were created in the early 20th century.

There are only a hand-full of these unique and legendary 'tents of mirrors' left in the world.

Built of wood, mirrors, canvas and leaded glass and detailed in velvet and brocade, each has its own personality and style.

Does the expression, if only the walls could talk apply in a Speigeltent?

The Famous Spiegeltent is the very essence of a festival club, 'kabaret salon' and intimate concert hall.

Like every old theatre, her ghosts travel with her, woven into ballooning velvet canopies, circular teak dance floor and stained, cut-glass windows.

Her intimate booths, ornate bar and beveled mirror columns hold a million secrets while her glorious Art Nouveau chandelier (or trapeze rig) swings overhead.

Where does she mostly star?

The Famous Spiegeltent is a mainstay of the Edinburgh Festivals, hosting parties, concerts, clubs and a myriad of stunning performances.

Off The Porch Thought For The Day Mark Garbelotto Australia's #1 Corporate Sales Trainer Sales is usually the lifeblood of a small business, but most small business owners will tell you how they HATE selling. They see it as a necessary evil (at best), not as an individual discipline with a history, a psychology and a distinct set of best practices. Never having learned how to sell, they dismiss it as something that can't be taught. It can.

Learning how to sell will raise your business to the next level.

● Linda Catalano She has launched the careers of countless artists and travels to the four corners of the world from Edinburgh to Melbourne, Brighton to Montreal.

Is there a living spirit inside?

Yes it embodies the living spirit of her operational team of the

cheekiest hat checkers in the business.

She is a living legend and will forever remain the stuff dreams are made of.

It's rumored that Marlene Deitrich sang Falling In Love Again in this very tent in the 1930s. Her magic mirrors have reflected thousands of images of artists, audiences and exotic gatherings.

How many shows will be performed during her stay in Melbourne?

Close to 300 performances in over 100 shows. Some starting as early at 10am and running right through to Club Spiegel that kicks on until 3am.

Why is it important to Melbourne's Arts precinct?

She brings in a new variety of shows that we don't get to see in mainstream theatre in Melbourne and brings along with her new audiences.

You can program artists that are cheekier than usual and encourage some interesting collaborations. The space has a sense of occasion and artists all rise to it.

Who is one performer that you would love to see perform on this famous stage?

● Trevor Ashley, I’m Every Woman ■ Performer Trevor Ashley Thoughts on the Famous Spiegeltent (Trevor Ashley's I'm Every Woman - until February 23 ) “The Famous Spiegel is a little bit of magic every summer in Melbourne.

“The buzz that it creates for audiences and artists alike is truly unique.

“I had some of my favourite shows ever last year with Fat Swan and I'm looking forward to performing I'm Every Woman.

“It's a hoot of a show as I attempt to impersonate a dozen famous divas ... and not collapse.

“I truly can't wait to be part of the excitement in Melbourne again!

■ The Famous Spiegeltent is presented by Arts Centre Melbourne. For a full online program guide www.spiegel.arts centremelbourne.com.au

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, February 20, 2013 - Page 5

Page 6 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Night for Aussie film critics ■ 3AW entertainment reporter Donna Demaio is helping to promote the Australian Film Critics Association awards night to be held on Saturday (Feb. 23) at the Australian Centre for the Moving Image, Federation Square, Melbourne.

Donna is hoping that the ACMI downstairs studio will be full for the evening.

Ticket enquiries: gregking4@bigpond.com

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

People Melbourne

Send news to editor@melbourneobserver.com.au

● Donna Demaio

Fax: 1-800 231 312

People Pars ■ Melbourne People hears that Jeanne Pratt will host The Production Company 2013 launch at her ‘Raheen’ mansion in Kew on Tuesday, March 19.

■ Observer reader Wayne Motton and his supporters have raised more than $2000 for the Epworth Foundation, with Wayne just completing a bicycle ride around the Gulf of Thailand.

■ Publicist Rain Fuller says the red carpet list for the Etta James opening night at the Athenaeum tomorrow (Thurs.) night includes Neil Mitchell, Denise Scott, Tim Campbell, Anthony Callea, Francis Greenslade and Libbi Gorr.

Welcome Francis

● Francis is the name chosen by broadcaster Angela Pippos and partner Simon for their new son. who arrived last week.

Whatever happened to ...

■ Whatever happened to ... Kim Duthie, the ‘St Kilda Schoolgirl’, who made headlines with St Kilda footballers and player manager Ricky Nixon two years ago?

According to the Twitter account, @NotA Schoolgirl, Kim is now engaged to ‘Harry’, and has been studying for an Advanced Diploma of Criminal Justice.

Kim is apparently in regular athletics training, has been camping in the Grampians, and is considering spending a year backpacking.

● Kim Duthie pictures on Twitter

PHOTOS: FACEBOOK

Transperson performs

PHOTOS: TWITTER

■ Justin Vivian Bond uses the word ‘transperson’ to describe self. Instead of Mr or Ms, Justin uses the honorific of ‘Mx’.

Rather than ‘he’ or ‘she’, Justin Vivian Bond is ‘V’.

The life is portrayed in Mx America, ‘"ways of seeing and being seen", at the Speigeltent, outside the Arts Centre, on February 24-25.

Justin Vivian Bond uses the adjectives of “patriot, a gender non-conformist and a cabaret artist”.

The 9pm shows promise an “elegantly formidable evening of beauty and delight”.

Cool Australia

● Andy Dinan and Suzanne Carbone are pictured at the Cool Australia ‘Love Your Planet’ launch at Zinc, Federation Square.

● Justin Vivian Bond

Personal Pars ■ Actor Gerry Connolly is currently holidaying in Myanmar, formerly known as Burma.

■ Film industry icon Alan Finney is recovering from his throat cancer, enjoying a steak and a scotch last Friday ... and loving it.

■ Melbourne theatre identity Chris Ryan has been in Bali.

■ Colin Kaye of Silver K Gallery hosted a night for Ringo Starr at the Armadale gallery on Friday. The Ringo Starr and Beatles exhibition continues until April 28.

■ John Blackman has developed a ‘Dickie Whacker’ app, available on iTunes.

Girls love their Grandpas

● Observer photographer Sue Deenim was on-the-spot in Fitzroy St, St Kilda, when she spotted performer Sir Cliff Richard hitting the pavement.

● Melbourne music identity Garry Spry with his grand-daughter Scarlett who this month celebrated her birthday

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, February 20, 2013 - Page 7

Lawyer acted for both parties ■ Victorian lawyer Stephen Blaker has had to front a tribunal after acting for both parties to a sales contract and a loan agreement.

Legal Services Commissioner Michael McGarvie accused Blaker of continuing to act in conflict of interest.

McGarvie told Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal Member Elizabeth Wentworth that Blaker failed to lodge a caveat on behalf of one client, and failed Melbourne

Observer

to inform one client that the other had created security interests.

Ms Wentworth found that Blaker was guilty of unsatisfactory unjprofessional conduct. Blaker was reprimanded, and has been fined four penalties totalling $13,000.

Blaker must also pay $5057.80 costs to the Legal Services Commissioner.

VCAT heard that Blaker acted for both Mr Smith and Mr Lewis in the sale of the property at Cape Bridgewater.

Blaker had previously been an employee solicitor at Howman and Harris, and Mr Smith at first used the services of Portland Conveyancing owned by Shirley Elliott, later taken over the legal firm.

The holiday camp property sold for $650,000, and Smith lent $280,000 to assist with the purchase.

VCAT haerd that Blaker failed to complete a title search on the property, and had not lodged a caveat as requested.

Showbiz News

CAMERON DADDO RETURNS Burlesque grand final

● Brianna Bluebell ■ State finals for one of the world's leading burlesque pageants, Miss Burlesque Australia, will be held next month at Thornbury.

Dozens of ladies will battle it out to represent their home state in the Grand Final, to be held at Melbourne's Athaneum Theatre on Saturday, May 25.

Most talented all-rounder will walk away with the Miss Burlesque title, currently held by last year's reigning queen, Briana Bluebell.

For the second consecutive year, the guys will get a shot at the Mr Boylesque title, challenging the inaugural winner, ‘The Black Prince of Burlesque Underground’, Raven.

Presented by Cassandra Jane, who recently won the title of Miss Nude World 2013, the Miss Burlesque finals events are open to the public, with ticket holders getting the chance to see Australia's best of burlesque performing their cutting edge routines in the Classic, Neo and Unique forms.

A highlight of the Miss Burlesque competition is the glamourous Gown Parade.

Each of the competitors are judged by a panel of peers and industry experts, based upon a set criterion that includes elements of presentation, confidence, personality, the flow of the routine, storyline, costume, music and relevance to the era. Winner will receive more than $10,000 in cash, prizes and sponsorship.

Fri., Mar. 22 at Thornbury Theatre. Dinner and show also available $95. www.eventbrite.com

BACK IN VICTORIA TO STAR IN ‘LEGALLY BLONDE’ ■ Cameron Daddo is returning to homestate Victoria after 20 years to star in Legally Blonde The Musical which opens on May 9 at the Princess Theatre.

Daddo has had 20-year absence from performing in Melbourne, and will join Lucy Durack and Rob Mills in the awrd-winning show.

Daddo was born and bred in Melbourne.

He first came to the attention of Australian TV viewers as the host of the children's television show Off The Dish which soon led to him hosting his own program: The Cameron Daddo Cartoon Show.

He made his mark on the Australian musical stage in Gordon/Frost's Big River, winning several major awards for his critically acclaimed portrayal of Huckleberry Finn.

Cameron Daddo followed that success with the role of Scarecrow in the Victorian State Opera's The Wizard Of Oz. Daddo has also contributed songs and music to the many soundtracks of his television and movie credits.

He has ust released his new album of self-penned tunes, Ten Sons…and Change, to rave reviews in the US country/Americana market.

Daddo moved to Los Angeles in 1992 to purse his acting career in Hollywood.

He and wife Alison Brahe and three children have called LA their home ever since.

The Logie award-winning actor had lead roles as well as reoccurring and guest roles in a long list of high profile American television programs.

He says he is delighted that his family will be joining him in Melbourne for the entire run of Legally Blonde The Musical.

"I am really looking forward to coming back to my home town to take to the stage again in Melbourne for the first time in 20 years." Daddo said.

"It's a wonderful opportunity for me to show my family my old stomping ground."

"In the show I will be playing the role of

Media pair bite back at dogs ■ Victorian showbiz couple Bob and Judy Phillips are leading the fight against to build a large dog kennel, cattery and animal hospital facility in the green wedge area of Moorooduc.

Bob was producer of In Melbourne Tonight, Hey Hey It’s Saturday and Tonight Live With Steve Vizard. His wife ran the Judy Banks Talent School.

The couple are representing their neighbours in the fight against the dog kennel business on Bungower Rd, which is now a major feed artery for the new Peninsula Link.

Phillips says the development is the brainchild of a local veterinarianm who has called the project ‘Bark Avenue’.

■ Bob and Judy Phillips present the Sugar and Spice radio program on 3RPP-FM, and online, 9am-11am Thursdays.

It’s All About You!

Melbourne

Observer In This 80-Page Edition

City Desk: What’s happening in Melb. ..... Page 3 Mark Richardson: Straight from the heart .. Page 4 Melbourne People: In the picture ........... Page 6 Loving Life: Di Rolle’s column ............... Page 8 News: Media Flash column ................. Page 9 Melb. Confidential: Lord Mayor stir ....... Page 11 People Pix: Been and seen ................. Page 12 Yvonne Lawrence: Life and style ........... Page 13 Melb. Extra: Kevin Trask’s profiles ......... Page 14 Philosopher’s Scrapbook: Liftout Observer Classic Books: Liftout Green Room noms Movies, DVDs TV, Radio, Theatre Local Theatre

Observer Showbiz

Latest News Flashes Around Victoria

Church must change ■ Geelong parish priest Fr Kevin Dillon has told a Parliamentary inquiry into institutional abuse the Catholic Church needs to lose its arrogance dealing with victims.

Drug dealer jailed ■ Ballarat drug dealer Shawn Michael Burton, 40, will spend a minimum of nine months behind bars after pleading guilty to a string of offences committed during a four-month Police operation.

Violence in Mildura ■ Reports of domestic violence in the Mildura Police district have risen by more than 60 per cent over the past five years, says the Sunraysia Daily newspaper.

Pensioner chased ● Cameron Daddo Professor Callahan and get to work alongside some talented fellow Australian actors including Lucy Durack, Rob Mills, David Harris, Helen Dallimore and Erika Heynatz. “"During the Sydney season, I was delighted seeing all the happy faces coming out of the theatre after the show.

“My kids, nieces, nephews and assorted relatives loved the show!

“And even some of my harshest critics my Melbourne school mates - were bowled over by it. I honestly believe that audiences are in for a real treat."

■ Drage Jovanovic, 50, and former partner Kelli Burnell, 41, after an invalid pensioner was chased down, assaulted and robbed of his medication after collecting it from his East Geelong pharmacy.

Weather forecast ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■

Wednesday. Sunny. Min 17. Max 24.

Thursday. Some rain. Min 15. Max 28 Friday. Partly cloudy. Min 18. Max 31 Saturday. Some rain. Min 19. Max 28.

Sunday. Some rain. Min 16. Max 33.

Monday. Partly cloudy. Min 19. Max 30 Tuesday. Fine. Min 18. Max 29.

Mike McColl Jones

Top 5 THE TOP 5 REASONS WHY POPE BENEDICT RESIGNED 5. Cricket Australia decided to rest him.

4. Before he gets too old, he'd like to play a season with The Saints.

3. He ate one of the oysters George Pell sent him.

2. He plans to open a breakfast cafe in Rome, and serve "Eggs Benedict for $XVI".

1. He was being pressured by Philip Brady who wanted the gig.

Page 8 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, February 20, 2013

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To

Curvy Crumpet at Trades Hall

Di Julie’s sound of music

● Julie Andrews ■ Someone who strikes me as being a very different woman is Julie Andrews.

She was everything you imagine her to be when she appeared on Jon Stewart's The Daily Show on cable television, talking about her children's books that she writes with her daughter Emma Walton Hamilton.

Julie writes under name Julie Andrews Edwards and they are the most wonderful children's book.

New York Times best-selling authors Julie and Emma have written more than 30 books together.

To find out more about the titles and where to get her books visit www.julieanddrews collection.com Julie Andrews will be visiting us very soon for the first time.

Producers John Frost and Phil Bathols are bringing Julie to Australia and it's great news!

This most beloved stage and screen performers of all time, will visit Melbourne in May. An Evening With Julie Andrews will take audiences on an incredible journey through the life and career of one of the world's most popular icons. She will not sing.

It will be outstanding to have her here.

From her London stage debut at the age of 12 to her defining roles in Mary Poppins, The Sound Of Music, Victor/Victoria and The Princess Diaries, Julie Andrews's extraordinary life story will unfold in a frank and funny evening of personal memories and insights spanning six decades.

This very special event will be hosted by Nicholas Hammond, theAmerican-born Australian actor who played Friedrich von Trapp in the film The Sound Of Music opposite Julie Andrews.

Visit www.julieandrewslive.com for more information and how glorious that one her ‘children’ from the film The Sound of Music will accompany her on stage as Special Guest Host - I speak of course of Nicholas Hammond - takenote,.

An Evening of Julie Andrews, in Melbourne, Hamer Hall, Arts Centre. 8pm, Friday, May 31. From $95 (transaction fees apply) Bookings: artscentremelbourne.com.au or 1300 182 183 or ticketmaster.com.au or 1300 136 166 - Very exciting!

I love my job!

■ What I like about Catherine Deveny is she is polarizsing and I feel being rather polarising at times myself . I like people to challenge me and to challenge others, in their writing and comedy and opinions.

And this fabulous ‘Curvy Crumpet’ Catherine Deveny does just that. Catherine has had another big year. The mother of three got Australia talking when she appeared on SBS’s Go Back To Where You Came From, caused a storm on ABC1 TV’s Q&A, had George Pell threaten to sue her for quoting him in a tweet, and released her highly acclaimed novel The Happiness Show (a very good book).

Now she brings it all together for her 2013 comedy festival show Curvy Crumpet. As a humanitarian, truth-telling crusader, whether you love her or hate her, this woman is a force of nature not to be missed.

Catherine has grown a wide fan base with her sharp, straight shooting and often challenging material. See Deveny as she does 1970s parenting, swearing, happiness, offence, haters, personality assassinations of her children, the hot IT boyfriend and what’s with porn?

Barry Jones, former government minister and quiz champ said: “Catherine Deveny confronts, maddens. She tells the truth to power – and to habit, conformity, timidity and comfort. Dangerous and seductive, she makes me laugh, and laugh.”

I will be in the front row on opening night. She is fabulous. She is performing at the Meeting Room at Trades Hall, Cnr Victoria and Lygon Sts, Carlton, from March 28 to April 21 (not Mondays). Previews on March 28-29. Show times are 8:15pm and Sundays 7:25pm.

Bookings via Ticketmaster or at the door or call Trades Hall on 9650 5699.

For SAPPHIRA PAINTED BY BILLICH

■ As I was walking around the tan (yes that’s right around the tan, it’s my new thing!)

I was thinking how wonderful Melbourne is.

It truly is a fabulous city. And it never stops.

So many things happening in Melbourne and so many fabulous people.

As I have said many times I have the best job, I get to meet the most brilliant people.

One of those fabulous people that I have met recently is Burlesque artist, singer, songwriter and amazing woman Sapphira.

I had heard of Sapphira a lot and it was great to finally meet her, a showgirl at heart with a voice that has been compared to Marilyn Monroe and Billie Holliday.

Sapphira is also a teacher, and she teaches burlesque, she has a wide repertoire of saucy and fun burlesque routines as a soloist or with her professional troupe of back dancers, Sapphira’s Showgirls.

From the traditional fan dance, to her own interpretation of the ‘balloon pop; and the ever popular tassel twirling.

In the tradition of burlesque, Sapphira’s routines are done tastefully with a comical and entertaining twist.

She has also posed for the highly esteemed artist Charles Billich.

From the White House to the Vatican, the collection of Presidents and Kings Sydney-based artists Charles Billich is one of the most prominent living Australian artists and he has painted Sapphira.

In a career spanning some 40 years, he has exhibited at some

with leading Melbourne publicist DI ROLLE

● Sapphira Sapphire loved George V Tupou Palace in Tonga, the Red posing for Charles Cross Museum in Billich.

“A true honour” Geneva to numerous university, govern- she told me. ment, corporate and private collections, Charles Billich has an eclectic and ubiqui- ■ What I liked about tous following.

Sapphira and her group Sapphira's Showgirls, - Ms Hunny Pottz, Kitty D’Vine, Laydee Bombay and Viola Heartbreak - is her drive and determination.

She is currently fundraising to get her party of five showgirls to London for performances.

She made a declaration of love to leading business man and entrepreneur Sir Richard Branson, founder and Chairman of The Virgin Group.

To cement her declaration she sent the dashing English business magnate who believes in turning ideas into reality a special song for Valentine’s Day. The YouTube clip reworking the classic Marilyn Monroe hit, My Heart Belongs to Daddy to My Heart ● Catherine Deveny Belongs to Branson

of the world’s best venues and has been an honoured guest and resident artist on many occasions.

From the Vatican Museum to the White House, the Olympic Museum in Lausanne to His Majesty King

Driven

was sent to him in an effort to gain the attention of the executive with a request he donate their flights to London where they plan to tour their show.

The storyline of the show is, in fact, about Sapphira's search to find Branson and cleverly combines elements of comedy, song and burlesque with an elegantly risqué style.

Sapphira found Branson and song\ was sent and picked up by British media!

No stranger to

show business Sapphira has trained her dances from her classes and mentored them choreographing and coaching each dancer to professional performance level.

Together they have appeared on Australia's Got Talent, opened the Audax Alpine Classic and sold out shows repeatedly at Melbourne's leading cabaret venue, Red Bennies.

In addition to the YouTube video, the girls have been also collecting kisses on their poster as a 'Kiss Petition' to show Branson they have the support of hundreds of fans and that many Australians support their request for flights.

View the My Heart Belongs To Branson video on You Tube.

For more information about Sapphira and her transformational burlesque classes visit www. burlesqueorbust.com I am thrilled for her and I think Sir Richard Charles Nicholas Branson might just come to the party.

Oh and yes, the painting is up for auction too! See more details on the website.

Bicycle emancipate the modern woman ■ From planes to bicycles! “The bicycle has done more to emancipate women than anything else in the world. It gives a woman a feeling of freedom and self-reliance.

“The moment she takes her seat she knows she can’t get into harm unless she gets off her bicycle. And away she goes, the picture of free, untrammelled womanhood.”

I just love this quote and it could very well have been written by another one of my favourite women, Catherine Deveny.

It was actually written by feminist pioneer Susan B. Anthony in 1896.

And it was on the bottom of an email I received from Catherine Deveny (see story above).

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au Melbourne

Observer

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, February 20, 2013 - Page 9

Showbiz News

Media Flash HORROR FILM TO BE SHOT IN VIC. Merry Wives

Briefs

Choose your foes wisely

Pre-sale

● David Helfgott ■ Pre-sale tickets for David Helfgott’s concert at the Melbourne Recital Centre on October 27 have gone on the market this week for $69.

Code: bumblebee

Clowning

■ The multi awardwinning international sensation Slava’s Snow Show will play a limited season playing at Comedy Theatre, Melbourne from July 17-28. Tickets go on sale Monday (Feb. 25).

On show ■ Artworks by Jamie Daddo are on show at the Without Pier Gallery, 320 Bay Rd, Cheltenham, until March 3.

● Jamie Daddo

Inside news from TV, radio, press and online

■ Melbourne-based production company, Achtung Films, is undertaking an ambitious campaign to raise $85,000 through crowd funding.

The money is planned for the first instalment in what is intended to be a screen trilogy, promising to take the horror/science fiction/thriller genre into bold new territories.

Written by David Richardson (Sensitive New Age Killer, The 25th Reich) and to be directed by local TV commercial director Thomas Elliott, who will be making his feature film directorial debut, the film titled Occupied.

It is to be shot entirely in Victoria, utilising Victorian cast and crew. Casting is already underway, and key crew have been engaged with a view to commencing production in April.

The filmmakers are encouraging film buffs and philanthropists to check out their page at Pozible and donate funds in order to help them reach their target before the deadline of April 12, which will enable to the project to go ahead.

Occupied is an original take on familiar themes established by classic films such as Invasion Of The Body Snatchers andThe Crazies.

● Jackie Fraser (Mrs Ford), Andrew Gemmell (Ford) and Robbie Nichols (Robert) in Shakespeare's The Merry Wives of Windsor, opening in Strathmore tomorrow (Thurs.).

Photo: Drew Mason ■ Strathmore Theatrical Arts Group (STAG) presents The Merry Wives Of Windsor, from February 21 to March 2 at the Strathmore Community Centre, Cnr Loeman and Napier Sts, Strathmore.

Director Drew Mason has set Shakespeare's comedy in Windsor Lakes, an outer suburb of Melbourne, as it follows the bumbling amorous capers of Sir John Falstaff, one of Shakespeare's enduring rogues.

This Elizabethan situation comedy is set in the present and satirises middle class Australian life.

Tickets: $20 Full price; $15 Concession. Group discounts are available.

Bookings: 9382 6284.

FIRE DANGER IN NORTH

■ Excellent work by volunteer firefighters allowed outer northern suburbs residents to return to their homes yesterday after a blaze hit the Donnybrook, Kalkallo, Campbellfield, Epping, Lalor and Thomastown areas.

Temperatures reached more than 36° on Monday, with cooler conditions yesterday (Tues.) morning allowing CFA volunteers to bring the fire under control.

Melbourne Observations with Matt Bissett-Johnson

PHOTO: COUNTRY FIRE AUTHORITY

■ Isabelle Oderberg, currently the National Online Editor for the Herald Sun, might be well advised to pick her online adversaries carefully.

Oderberg, writing as @yodaberg on Twitter, became involved in a stoush with Sally (a.k.a.

‘Dr Feelgood’) over the description of a man as “homeless”.

Oderberg attempted to accuse Cockburn of ● Dr Sally Cockburn “trolling” (someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic message). “Hilarious,” said Oderberg, in an attempt to silence Cockburn, who has friends in high places at HWT.

Nail-biting at The Age ■ It is only a week-anda-half away from The Age newspaper’s conversion to tabloid size ... although Fairfax bosses refuse to use the T-word, it’s a “compact”.

Dummies of the newlook paper seen by Media Flash show The Age using typefaces already being trialled by The Sunday Age, and the sister Sun-Herald Sundau paper ● Andrew Holden in Sydney.

This is no recommedation. The Sun-Herald has had massive drops in readership. The official yearon-year circulation figures released last week show the Sun-Herald fell by 22.9 per cent to 313,477. It used to be double that!

In Victoria, The Age Monday-Friday sales dropped 14.5 per cent to 157,480. The Saturday flagship edition fell 13.4 per cent to 227,836. The Sunday Age fell 14.0 per cent to 191,139.

Age Editor Andrew Holden had done his best to salvage morale at the paper, but expect more staf departures soon after the conversion to tabloid ... sorry, compact.

Media stoush at Geelong

Kiss and tell ■ Best known for his serpentine tongue and devilish makeup, Gene Simmons will reveal the serious businessman behind the rock star at a once in a lifetime event at Etihad Stadium on March 5.

The co-founder of KISS is stepping up to the microphone, not to sing, but to share his experiences of the concert industry, growing his rand and empire.

● Gene Simmons

■ Metro Media Publishing chief Antony Catalano’s firm has issued a County Court writ against the Geelong Advertiser (News Limited).

Metro Media publishes the Weekly Review colour gloss magazine, and says it has potentially lost $1.4 million in revenue because Geelong real estate company Hayeswinkle had previously organised to run ads ● Antony Catalano in the Weekly Review.

Metro Media, which is linked with Fairfax Media, alleges that the Geelong Advertiser paid rebates and secret commissions to the real estate company in contravention of the Estate Agents Act and the Crimes Act. News Limited denies any wrongdoing.

Media Flashes ■ Volunteers at Geelong community radio station, Pulse FM, are still reportedly awaiting the appointment of a Board that was promised back in November.

■ Herald Sun circulation, year on year, has fallen by 4.7 per cent to 450,090. The Saturday edition is down 5.4 per cent to 444,250. The Sunday Herald Sun is down 5.7 per cent to 514,671.

■ Top-rating Sydney broadcaster Ray Hadley has apologised to staff at radio station 2GB for belittling them, reports The Australian.

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Page 10 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, February 20, 2013 Melbourne

Observer

Ash On Wednesday

SAM SPEAKS

Opening the Doors on Freemasonry

Our Doors are Open!

New TV show begins in March

Host Wes Turnbull (front, centre) and presenters (left to right) Jennifer Piper, Ben Quick, Donna De La Rue, Mark Vincent, Lena Way and Peter Henshall bring you Masonic truths in Freemasons: The Inside Story This year, Freemasons Victoria and Channel 31 will embark on a ground-breaking partnership: to bring the story of Freemasonry to the public.

Freemasons: The Inside Story is already generating significant interest among Freemasons and the general public and is expected to enjoy large viewing audiences.

Freemasons Victoria Grand Master Bob Jones says this is the first time that Freemasons in Australia have opened their doors so completely. 'I'm so proud to be leading a group of Freemasons who are willing to share such an integral part of their lives with others,' he says. 'Freemasonry is an important part of our lives and it's time for us to stand up and tell the rest of the world about who we are and what we do.'

'From Freemasonry's benevolent works, to the personal stories of Masons from around the country. From conversations with the recipients of our work, to insights into the history and symbolism of our fraternity. This program will change the face of Freemasonry in Australia,' says Mr Jones.

Ben Quick (29) is a Freemason and one of the show's presenters.

He says that being visible, communicating freely and welcoming new people into the fraternity is essential for his generation.

'We're not talking about breaking an ancient confidence; we're talking about letting people know that we're here and we're just ordinary people, doing good work,' he says.

'We're such a diverse group of people and I can't wait to share our stories with the rest of the community,' says Mr Quick.

Mr Jones agrees. 'This program is the greatest innovation in Freemasonry to date,' he says. 'It aims to share the story of Freemasonry with the general public, in a way that exposes the truth inside the myths of the world's oldest continuing fraternal organisation.

Freemasons: The Inside Story will screen at 8.30pm Monday nights, for 26 weeks from Monday March 4.

To find out more about Freemasonry, how to become a member, attend upcoming public events, or to take a tour of the Masonic Centre, please visit www.freemasonsvic.net.au or 'Like' our Facebook page, www.facebook.com/ freemasonsvic for the most up to date information.

■ Sam Stynes remains passionate about raising awareness of the fourthost common cancer in Australia.

On Sunday, March 3, Stynes will lend her support to the March Against Melanoma initiative.

It is one year since her husband Jim, and father of her two children, passed away from a brain metastasis arising from an aggressive melanoma.

The 4km walk will be followed by a remembrance service and then a melaNOmore concert.

The event will take place at the Catani Gardens, Beaconsfield Pde, St Kilda.

The inside goss about Spring St and Canberra

Canberra countdown

● Sam Stynes

Long Shots

It’s free ■ A free lunch time performance by Cirque du Soleil will be staged at Melbourne Central today (Wed., Feb. 20) at 12.30pm.

editor@melbourneobserver.com.au

with Ash Long, Editor

PHOTO COURTESY: HERALD SUN

■ Three-year-old Isla Hallam has spent much of her young life isolated from the outside world to protect her vulnerable immune system.

Now in remission, Isla’s smile and golden locks are to grace the 2013 Good Friday Appeal poster to encourage all Victorians to dig deep and donate to the March 29 Appeal.

The appeal goes towards Royal Children’s Hospital research.

Visit homes ■ Seven homes in St Vincent Place, Albert Park, open their doors to the public for the first time in 20 years on March 24.

A number of home owners have generously donated their homes for this event, with all proceeds going directly to Variety - the Children’s Charity.

■ It’s just over 29 weeks to the Federal election on September 14 called by Prime Minister Julia Gillard ... and bright young ABC political correspondent Latika Bourke is wondering out loud whether it will be a contest between Kevin Rudd and Joe Hockey ...

Hockey tweeted at the weekend: “I bet Wayne Swan is finding Moscow ● Julia Gillard warmer and more welcoming than a Cabinet or Caucus barbie in Canberra” ... meanwhile, Latika used social media to say "'The smartest people were kept out of the room' when PM Gillard and Wayne Swan watered down the mining tax”.

‘Do-nothing Ted’

Hey Isla!

● Isla Hallam

The Whip

“For the cause that lacks assistance, ‘Gainst the wrongs that need resistance For the future in the distance, And the good that we can do”

Observer Treasury Thought For The Week ■ A businessman complained about his partner. “He’s a real phony - I wouldn’t believe him if we said he was lying.”

Observer Curmudgeon ■ “It's a funny thing about life, if you accept less that you know you deserve, you very often get it.”

Text For The Week ■ “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

- 2 Timothy 1:7 The Melbourne Observer is printed by Streamline Press, 155 Johnston St, Fitzroy, for the publisher, Ash Long, for Local Media Pty Ltd, ABN 67 096 680 063, of the registered office, 30 Glen Gully Road, Eltham, Distributed by All Day Distribution.

Responsibility for election and referendum comment is accepted by the Editor, Ash Long.

Copyright © 2013, Local Media Pty Ltd (ACN 096 680 063).

IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT COURT REPORTS Contents of Court Lists are intended for information purposes only. The lists are extracted from Court Lists, as supplied to the public, by the Magistrates’ Court of Victoria, often one week prior to publication date; for current Court lists, please contact the Court. Further details of cases are available at www.magistratescourt.vic.gov.au The Melbourne Observer shall in no event accept any liability for loss or damage suffered by any person or body due to information provided. The information is provided on the basis that persons accessing it undertake responsibility for assessing the relevance and accuracy of its content. No inference of a party’s guilt or innocence should be made by publication of their name as a defendant. Court schedules may be changed at any time for any reason, including withdrawal of the action by the Plaintiff/Applicant. E&OE.

■ Victorian Premier Ted Baillieu is rightly coping a whack for the perception that he is doing nothing at helm at Spring St ... leading the charge are powerful 3AW morning commentator Neil Mitchell, and his guest commentator Jeff Kennett ... commentator Stephen Mayne (who double dips by being on the payroll as a City of ● Ted Baillieu Melbourne Councillor) is critical of Kennett ... when hasn’t Mayne been critical of Jeff? Mayne says it has been a “ridiculous sledging of Ted by Kennett who's doing bidding of his paymasters at 3AW/Herald Sun who want to run (the) state.” Baillieu has done little to engage the Victorian media or the Victorian public.

Look at me, says Bracks ■ The saying “history shall be kind to me, for I shall write it” could well apply to former Victorian Premier Steve Bracks ...

Bracks let one swing on his successor this past week ...Bracks said everything was fine in Victoria under his watch, and then along came John Brumby. Thanks maaate!

Jumping ship from the Victorian Labor ranks is ● Steve Bracks Tim Holding, 40, who leaves after 13 years in State Parliament ... he was touted as a potential Premier ...

Holding says one of his proudest achievements is the expensive Wonthaggi desalination project.

Strewth!

The Whip’s polly waffle ■ Victorian Liberal powerbroker Jeff Kennett “is up to something” says radio talkback king Neil Mitchell ... Premier Ted Baillieu is being accused by his critics of secrecy and witch-hunts ... journalists are being warned that the mobile phone in their pockets allow authorities to locate reporters and their sources ... radio rumours tip that Julia Gillard and Tim Mathieson may tie the knot, in time for an Australian Women’s Weekly story ahead of the September 14 poll ... the spotlight that will shine on Julian Assange’s nomination for a Senate seat representing Victoria is likely to have a negative effect on the Greens campaign for the same seat.

Free reader ads are available in the Classifieds section of the ‘Melbourne Observer’

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, February 20, 2013 - Page 11

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Confidential Melbourne

Talk is cheap, gossip is priceless

WHAT’S HAPPENING AT THE TOWN HALL?

Bitch Melbourne’s Secrets

Matthew pulls ratings ■ The 60 Minutes interview between Matthew Newton and Liz Hayes provided a ratings spike for the Nine Network at the weekend.

Some 1.214 million viewers tuned in for the exclusive chat.

Downton Abbey on the Seven Network attracted 1.216 million viewers. Seven News nationally had 1.231 million watching. ● Matthew Newton

Directors to face Court?

■ Three former directors of Mowbray College have been summonsed to appear in the Supreme Court next month over their role in the management of the failed school, which closed last year with debts of $18 million.

The Age reported yesterday (Tues.) that it understood John Ralph Wallace, Anthony Keirsten-Wakefield and Kevin Raymond Scott Yates will be summonsed to answer questions about their involvement with the company.

Psychic Detective

■ Is Lady Mayoress Emma Page Campbell stepping aside from most duties alongside her husband, Lord Mayor Cr Robert Doyle?

Insiders at the Melbourne Town Hall say that the Lady Mayoress’ Committee has considerably reduced its agenda, and there has been talk of popular Melbourne identity Ann Peacock being asked to officiate instead at a number of the municipality’s events.

The speculation comes as Cr Doyle enters a new term of his Mayoralty, with The Age newspaper questioning his election campaign fund-raising.

The paper asked who was Yif Yufu, who gave $15,000.

The burly Lord Mayor used social media to lament that he was under the spotlight in the media.

“Labeled (sic) the enemy of the developers one day, and their best friend the next! Being diplomatic is engaging with both sides of every debate.”

Journalist Melissa Fyfe of The Age was quick to respond: “We'd engage with you too, if you ever called us back.”

Mr Rental must pay refunds

● Lord Mayor Robert Doyle

PYRAMID SCHEME Rumour Mill OPERATOR BANNED ■ Leslie Forsyth Stott, a former director of Crimeguard International Security Systems Pty Ltd, has been found to have been knowingly concerned and a party to Crimeguard’s participation in a pyramid selling scheme.

The Federal Court has found that Stott also engaged in false, misleading and/or deceptive conduct concerning representations about the profitability of the Crimeguard business.

Pyramid selling schemes are an arrangement in which persons make a payment to join the scheme, having been substantially induced to join, on the basis that they can subsequently earn payments for inducing others to join the scheme.

Permanent injunction

● Tony Stockwell ■ UK ‘spirit medium’ Tony Stockwell will demonstrating an afternoon of Mediumship in Melbourne on Saturday, March 23.

Stockwell is known for his television work including The Psychic Detectives, Street Psychic, Best of British Mediumship, Sixth Sense, Mystery of Body 115, Psychic Private Eyes and Legend Detectives.

He has demonstrated across the UK, Europe, US, NZ and Australia.

The event will be held at the Whitehorse Centre, 397 Whitehorse Rd, Nunawading.

Time:Seating from 1:30pm for a 2pm sharp start.

Cost:$550. Bookings: www.whitehorsecentre. com.au/Buy-Tickets.html or email tickets@ whitehorse.vic.gov.au or phone 9262 6555 Details: www.standupforspirit.com

■ Mr Rental Australia Pty Ltd, a household goods rental business, has entered into an enforceable undertaking under which it will provide refunds to approximately 1560 consumers, anticipated to be in excess of $300,000.

Mr Rental will amend the standard form rental contract used by the 52 franchisees operating under the Mr Rental banner.

An Australian Securities and Investments Commission investigation into Mr Rental’s standard form rental agreement gave rise to concerns that the inclusion of a term allowing Mr Rental to charge a ‘calculation period adjustment’ was an unfair contract term under the Australian Securities and Investments Commission Act 2001 and the Australian Consumer Law.

As a result of Stott’s involvement in a pyramid selling scheme, Justice Middleton made an order by consent banning Stott from managing a company for five years.

“Pyramid selling schemes are designed to benefit the originators while taking advantage of later recruits.

“This action against Mr Stott is significant as it is only the second time the ACCC has obtained orders from the Federal Court disqualifying an individual from managing companies," ACCC Chairman Rod Sims said.

As well as disqualifying Stott for five years, Justice Middleton imposed a permanent injunction against Stott restraining him from engaging in pyramid selling schemes.

Justice Middleton further restrained Stott from engaging in the promotion of business activities or opportunities where representations are made as to the potential earnings of that business activity, where there are no reasonable grounds for such representations.

Whispers

Blah, blah

● Andrea Macnamara ■ Who heard the traffic report by Andrea Macnamara in the 3AW Breakfast program?

“Two left-hand lanes closed Jacksons Rd outbound there....blah,blah, blah, blah ... that's all folks."

She then composed herself and finished the report.

Where?

■ An ABC news report on the Victorian fires on Monday night referred to Bacchus Marsh as being "east of Melbourne"...

The report was networked from Sydney.

Ding dong

Hear It Here First

Confidentially speaking ■ Will there soon be an increased gossip coverage in the Herald Sun newspaper? Its Sydney sister newspaper, The Telegraph, has just launched a seven-day-a-week Sydney Confidential column led

by Ros Reines, Jonathon Moran and Elle Halliwell.

The Melbourne Confidential secfion commenced in the Melbourne Observer, 11 years ago in 2002.

Convictions wiped out ■ Prahran MP Clem Newton-Brown says it is impossible to quash decades-old convictions for buggery, but records could be expunged. His comments come as the Labor Party in Victoria has pledged for convictions to be wiped. Those with convictions for buggery are currently banned from teaching, some volunteer positions, and ‘working with children’ permits.

Charge after fire ■ A Ferntree Gully teenager has been arrested for accidently starting a grassland fire in Stud Rd, near Dandenong, after a discarded cigarette started the blaze. It took firefighters about 30 minutes to extinguish the blaze.

E-Mail: Confidential@MelbourneObserver.com.au

● Denise Drysdale ■ Forest Hills Retirement Village has engaged Denise Drydale to perform on Tuesday, March 5, as part of a tour invitation. Phone 9878 9100.

Fined ■ Blackburn South tree lopper Phil Brabin has been fined $282 by Whitehorse Council after giving ahead firewood to local residents.

News tips ■ Fax yours to: 1-800 231 312

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Page 12 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Melbourne People

Band4Hope founders Lucie Galt, Lachlan, Hamish and Miriam McWilliam launched their not-for-profit social enterprise, "Hope is Contagious... [pass it on]" Exhibition, at the No Vacancy Gallery, QV Melbourne

● Hamish McWilliam, Miriam McWilliam, Lucie Galt and Lachlan McWilliam

● Sally Scott and Bev O'Connor

● Sarah Purches and Jessica Rowe

● Katrina Grant and Felicity Beker

● Andrew Chew and Sean Tribe

● Andrew McWilliam and Adam Parry

● Angela, Newton and Elsie Daddow

● Graham and Jeanette McWilliam

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, February 20, 2013 - Page 13

Melbourne

Observer Life & Style

I THINK THE HEAT IS GETTING TO ME

■ It had to happen to me at sometime. Who am I to escape?

My computer decided at the most inopportune time to completely ignore any of my commands and sit on my desk with a blank leer.

Normally I’d phone Greg, my trusty computer expert and he’d either walk me through the remedy, or be on my doorstep in a trice.

He’s been ill, and hasn’t answered any of my mail, so I’m hoping he’s still in the land of the living. I miss him.

Being completely computer illiterate I didn’t know what to do.

Yvonne’s Column

One more chance

■ I’d bagged Telstra so often I thought it was no use getting on to the technical staff – or so I thought.

Last time I gave Telstra a rubbishing, someone must have been reading my column because I was very surprised to receive an e-mail from one of the brass, asking me to contact him direct with my problem.

So someone at the top does care I thought.

But alas it didn’t come to pass because some of my e-mails had disappeared into the ether before I could act on them.

I was desperate, and thought I’d give Telstra one more chance.

If that didn’t work, the computer goes out of the window and I start with my new laptop, which is still in its box.

But now, after all the bagging, I’m giving Telstra a huge bouquet because my computer is up and running as fast as Black Caviar.

How’s that for service?

■ I phoned Bigpond, got on to technical and my stomach lurched when I realised I was on to the Call Centre somewhere in the wilds of the Philippines.

One of my complaints with Telstra was the difficulty in understanding the staff. In fairness, if they used computer jargon I was lost, and when I ‘d ask them to repeat often they would hang up, or try and sell me a different program.

But a very friendly voice asked how she could help me in a language I could understand.

Her name was Catherine, number D402455.

When I think about it now I could laugh because this very knowledgeable technician spent no end of time to rectify my problem.

And one problem was big. The popup that was causing me grief was a scam just waiting to do a smash and grab into my bank account.

Melbourne

Observer

with Yvonne Lawrence yvonne.lawrence@bigpond.com

There were so many other problems and dear Catherine number D402455 patiently removed them all.

It was if she had wiped the slate clean and I could start again.

She wouldn’t go to another problem until she was sure I understood what she had done. And best of all, every time she corrected something a little pointer would show me what she was doing. It was like a tutorial.

So, how is that for service?

Enough is enough ■ During the course of this tutorial we talk and I promised that when and if I visit the Philippines she would be my first port of call.So I phoned the bank that tells us they are part of our family and to even get onto the right department I was thwarted because of the privacy act.

Now come on. Enough is enough.

I’ve been singing the praises of Telstra’s courteous service from the rooftops because they deserve it.

And more so after the brickbats I’ve given them over the last few years.

I believe in giving credit where credit is due, and I’m pleased that I can give you a glowing report about Telstra's helpful service.

I just hope that if you have a problem and phone the Technical staff, Catherine D402455 answers your call and you experience the warm glow of receiving exceptionally good service.

Hopefully the top brass who read my last brickbats and e-mailed me will read this and contact me again.

Pen mightier than sword ■ I do believe that the pen is mightier than the sword and rather than get into a hassle with a phone call I write with any complaint.

But, the better the day, the better the deed, I couldn’t let my new complaint go with a letter on St Valentines Day. I let my fingers do the walking.

For the past few months we have been receiving correspondence from ‘one of the four friendly banks’ to our address but to someone unknown to us.

The first time I wrote in big black letters on the envelopes to return to sender.

After the seventh or with time I added a big please to the envelope, but again no response.

The mail to this poor woman kept coming and coming.

Today was the last straw. I opened the envelope and had I been a rogue or someone desperate for money I could have had a field day because this letter contained instructions and the ‘secure’ number to unleash her funds.

Dangerous levels ■ Three departments later, and my blood pressure was at a dangerous level, the fellow on the end said ‘I will try and cancel any mail to your address’.

I blackened out her password, number and personal details before I returned this latest incorrectly addressed letter, just in case it gets into the wrong hands.

I hope someone from the bank that says it is ‘ part of my family’, apologises for the hassle their incompetence has caused.

That’s off my chest, and my attention turns to pancakes and what to give up for Lent.

The name Shrove comes from the old word ‘shrive’ which means to confess.

On Shrove Tuesday, in the Middle Ages, people used to confess their sins so that they were forgiven before Lent began.

Pancakes are eaten on this day because they contain fat, butter and eggs, which are forbidden during Lent.

I think I may give up television.

Heavens I don’t indulge myself much now, so what else is left?

He gave up his wine ■ My other half has decided to give up a glass of wine with his dinner each night. I’m wondering if non-alcoholic wine serves the purpose of giving up.

It’s a philosophical question that I will pose to Father Bob. He’ll give me an answer.

Besides I think he would make the most marvellous Pope. Can’t you see those cardinals that oppose his every move being very green as they watch the white smoke curl towards the heavens?

Received an absolutely wonderful gift from husband on St Valentines Day. It is a Victorian cast iron umbrella stand with a moulded dish at the base to catch the drips from a rain soaked brolly.

Over the years I’ve received some wonderful antique gifts for the garden from friends. How could I ever think of leaving this house?

All my pets are buried in the garden with their own little headstones. Kerry Kulkens, who was a good friend and used to read the tarot cards on my program, gave me a headstone with gold leaf lettering that her stonemason brother made especially for me when “Hamish, the cat from hell” died.

It makes for great conversation being placed under the branches of a lemon-laden tree.

Hamish was known everywhere, even more than Moosh.

So handsome

■ He had the most wonderful set of long whiskers that used to twitch when he gave the first warning of a pending attack. His eyebrows were bushier than Mr Menzies ever were.

And he had a right paw that hit the mark at first punch.

He was so handsome that people would pat him regardless of my warning, and once having lulled them into a false sense of safety he pounced.

Not only pounced, but he would have tradesmen quivering and too scared to knock on the door. He had a growl and even his purr matched his size.

So the headstone was appropriate for a feline of note.

There must be something that makes one reminisce as they age. I have a lovely time at night when I can’t sleep remembering all sorts of things. Even had rambling thoughts of old boyfriends on St Valentine’s sleepless nights.

I do wonder how some of them are travelling. I even fantasized that I might bump into one old ex when I was out shopping.

I think the heat has finally got to me.

Keep cool - Yvonne.

Contact: Melbourne Observer P.O, Box 1278, Research, 3095

Around Melbourne

Crown Riverwalk

Exhibition to open

Ready, set,connect

■ The Crown Riverwalk will be transformed into a gourmet picnic ground, as part of the Melbourne Food and Wine Festival.

Diners will be giben an opportunity to sample some of Crown’s most sought after dishes in an outdoor setting.

Nobu, The Atlantic, Bistro Guillaume, Mr Hive Kitchen and Bar, The Merrywell and Number 8 restaurant and wine bar will each create a selection of their finest dishes from Saturday- March 9-11. Admission is free. Dishes range from $5 - $15.

In keeping with the Melbourne Food and Wine Festival’s earth theme, each chef has worked with their local suppliers, growers and farmers to source the season’s freshest produce.

Jazz bands, roving entertainment and street artists complete the festival vibe along the Riverwalk beside the Yarra.

■ An exhibition of Shimmering Light

by Craig Penny will open at South Yarra House Art House, 6 Amedia Cres., on March 14.

The exhibition is open from 10.30am on opening day for preview, and official opening is at 6pm for champers.

■ Registrations are now open for Screen It 2013, Australia’s largest competition for school-aged filmmakers, animators and game makers, run annually by the Australian Centre for the Moving Image.

This year's theme, Connect, provides a starting point for students and teachers to investigate topical issues while learning game, animation and filmmaking techniques along the way.

The competition is free to enter and open to all primary or secondary aged people. Students can enter through their school or independently. Entries can be live-action films, computer games or animations, but must respond to the theme.

Winners will be presented at an awards ceremony in December, each receiving a certificate, a trophy and a DVD prize pack courtesy of Madman Entertainment. A frequently asked questions page has been set up to assist students and teachers.

At Speigeltent

● At Crown Riverwalk

■ Imogen Kelly brings Herstory, tonight (Wed.) and tomorrow (Thurs.) at the Speigeltent, St Kilda Rd..

It is a time-travelling romp through the escapades of history’s most notorious women.

From Marie Antoinette and Lady Diana; from Marlene Dietrich to The Virgin Queen, Imogen Kelly covers them all.

Tickets include a delicious supper whilst patrons enjoy an extraordinary show. Vegetarian and gluten free options are available.

● At South Yarra Art House

Page 14 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, February 20, 2013

■ The first time I saw Tony Martin on-screen was in the Marx Brothers film The Big Store and I thought he was a wonderful singer.

Alvin Morris was born on Christmas Day in San Francisco in 1913. His family were Jewish and his grandparents had emigrated from Eastern Europe.

He began playing the saxophone at the age of 10 and gained experience in an orchestra as a musician and singer.

Alvin had a beautiful singing voice and was a very tall, handsome young man.

In the 1930s he went to Hollywood to try his luck in films and changed his name to Tony Martin.

A regular radio spot led to a contract with 20th Century Fox Studios. Tony appeared in a small role in the 1936 film Follow The Fleet.

His other films during the late 1930s included Pigskin Parade with Judy Garland, Poor Little Rich Girl and Ali Baba Goes to Town with Eddie Cantor.

He married Alice Faye in 1937 but the marriage only lasted for four years.

Tony had his first hit song in 1938 when he recorded I Hadn't Anyone Till You with Ray Noble and his orchestra.

In 1941 he moved to MGM and was cast opposite The Marx Brothers in the classic comedy film The Big Store.

During the war years Tony served in the Navy and the Army. He sang for the troops with The

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Whatever Happened To ...

Tony Martin

By Kevin Trask of 3AW and 96.5 Inner FM Glenn Miller Band in several concerts and was popular with Glenn Miller and his band members.

Whilst in India he formed a concert party from the Army personnel and put on shows.

In 1948 he married Cyd Charisse who became a famous dancer through her musical films at the MGM studios.

Cyd Charisse later appeared at Her Majesty's Theatre in Melbourne in 1972 for a season of the stage musical No No Nanette.

His films included Deep In My Heart, Two Tickets To Broadway, Till The Clouds Roll By, Easy To Love and Hit the Deck.

In the post-war years Tony appeared at the London Palladium.

● Tony Martin

He had 14 top ten hit songs in his career.

Tony Martin performed concerts in Australia and my mate Ian Maurice, from 4BC in Brisbane, became a friend of Tony in 1965 when he played Chequers Nightclub in Sydney.

Ian kept in touch with Tony over the years and caught up with him during a later visit to the US. After his film career finished Tony concentrated on his cabaret act and sometimes performed with Cyd. His last on-screen appearance was in 1982 in a German-made film titled Mr Wonderful.

Melbourne singer Max Blake is a huge fan of Tony Martin.

Tony continued working up until the day he died and his voice remained in great shape.

Tony Martin passed away from natural causes at the age of 98 in 2012, four years after his beloved wife Cyd Charisse.

They were married for 60 years. Tony is survived by Nico Charisse, his adopted son from Cyd's first marriage. His son with Cyd Charisse, Tony Martin Jnr died in 2011.

- Kevin Trask The Time Tunnel - with Bruce and Phil Sundays at 8.20pm on 3AW That's Entertainment - 96.5FM Sundays at 12 Noon 96.5FM is streaming on the internet.

To listen, go to www.innerfm.org.au and follow the prompts.

ALICE SPRINGS IS IN REAL STRIFE

■ The Alice Springs Innovation Team is about to launch a promotional DVD, extolling the virtues of the town.

I hope it works, because I spent 18 years living there, and have a great love of the place and its unique, and often breathtaking, environs.

However, when I first moved there, the ‘key money’ for a position in the Todd Mall was about $60,000; that is. if you wanted to open a shop you could approach someone who already had one and offer to take it over from him, to start your own business.

The $60,000 was a ‘consideration’, an incentive, for him to sign a lease over to you. Any touristy shop in the Mall was a goldmine.

Today, the Mall is a sorry state. No more key money - half the shops are empty, and any one is for the leasing.

There's been a gradual decline in tourism; granted there are external factors at play - the GFC, the downturn in Europe and the US, and the high Australian dollar.

But for Alice Springs in particular, the reputation of the town has deteriorated. The drinkers became more violent toward each other, and increasingly toward tourists.

Travel agents the world over have advised against visiting Alice, and even people who came were told not to go into town because of this violence.

■ One major problem occurred a couple of years ago when two youths stole a car, then raped two European backpackers at gunpoint. That story went far and wide from Alice Springs A cursory glance at a few happenings over the summer holiday period make depressing reading.

A 41-year-old man faced court for stabbing a woman in a town camp; a 17-year-old boy was charged with smashing the windscreens of eight cars; seven teenage girls broke into a clothing store and stole a load of Collingwood jumpers; an Alice Springs woman was convicted of stabbing her sister to death because she "spoke too much"; a man was arrested for running through the Alice Springs Hospital with a knife and attacking people; a gang of kids was arrested for a crime spree, breaking into houses; another Alice Springs man fatally stabbed his brother with a pair of scissors; a teenage girl stole a computer from a home, then contacted the owners, trying to sell it back to them for $50; cars were smashed and stolen and burnt on New Year's Eve.

The Outback Legend

with Nick Le Souef Lightning Ridge Opals 175 Flinders Lane, Melbourne Phone 9654 4444 www.opals.net.au ■ All this is totally exasperating!

Most offenders have no jobs, no education, no homes, or at least normal homes as we know them, to go to, and, basically, no hope.

Then, to exacerbate all this is booze and drugs and petrol sniffing.

The world over bored and aimless youth addle their brains to compensate for their pain.

But at least some people are trying to do something The first attempt to steer local recalcitrant youth on to the straight and narrow is the implementation of boot camps.

I have often watched these in action on TV, where horrible, vicious little teenagers, boys and girls, have been transformed over a few weeks after some time in the Arizona Desert with some hard- nosed teachers and guides.

Maybe the same can happen here.

There are a couple of pilot programs planned, aimed at 12 to 17 year olds.

Attorney General in the new Government, John Elferink, claims that they will be designed not only to develop actual physical capabilities and

skills, but to increase their self-esteem and character so that they can become better citizens when they return.

"We want them to answer a few questions: why do they break into houses, steal cars, become thugs? A lot of these kids are from families and communities where such questions are never asked."

In fact, this behaviour is often considered to be the norm.

I hope that this can make some difference, but I have seen how the families and communities operate, and it'll be an uphill battle.

■ I love aboriginal art - at least the Namatjira-style watercolours.

I never met Albert, but have many paintings from his successors adorning my walls.

These paintings, and those of all the other of his Hermansburg School, as it's known, were similar in some respects.

Without exception they showed different parts of the Centre around Alice Springs, but always there were orange rocky outcrops, distant blue and mauve hills, and always beautiful white Ghost Gums. .

However, just recently an event of horror has occurred. The most famous icons of Albert's paintings, a pair of beautiful white gums which he often included in these works, has been burnt down.

Many fires around Alice are deliberately lit, and there are often controversial cultural issues involved.

One such was blazing around the road to Hermansburg the other day, and just swept the trees up in its path.

So sad.

■ There are always problems with dogs in Alice, and this summer has been no exception.

Firstly it's camp dogs, usually bedraggled and underfed, sometimes called "leatherbacks" because of the prolific mange.

They just generally "belong" in specific camps around town, and not to anyone in particular.

They are usually so downtrodden and ill-treated by their owners that they are more often cowering than savage, but they are a problem in a pack, and, as I have noted in the past, have devoured some camp inhabitants who have fallen down drunk.

Then there are the vicious Pitbulls and their look-alikes.

● Alice Springs Their owners are generally fairly breeds coming close to town and atvicious themselves, so the dogs don't tacking small pet dogs being taken for have much chance at being friendly. a walk by their innocent and unsusA couple of Rottweillers have es- pecting owners.

Obviously the Jack Russells and caped at Ilparpa, where I lived, and have been chasing foals, and tried to Maltese come off second best in these kill a calf and recently. Obviously confrontations.

It's a bit safer walking along the neighbours are quite concerned.

Blairgowrie Dog Beach!

Then there have been several re- Nick Le Souef ports of savage wild dingo cross‘The Outback Legend’

From The Outer

Melbourne

Observer

kojak@ mmnet.com.au

With John Pasquarelli

■ Hard-working rank and file Liberals and Nationals were given a resounding kick in the guts by NSW Liberal Premier Barry O'Farrell when he gave Anna Bligh's husband a cushy taxpayer funded job in NSW. Australian politics has become increasingly confrontational and people like Rudd, Gillard and their mates have only one aim and that is to destroy Tony Abbott and the Coalition - just look at the venomous allegations of misogyny against Abbott.

It makes it hard for Coalition election workers to do the hard grind during campaigns when they are let down by the likes of O'Farrell.

Now Julie Bishop has added fuel to the fire by her recent and quite ill-considered comments on Sky News wherein she said that if she becomes foreign minister, Rudd would be considered for any role with DFAT. It's nonsense like this that confirms to the mainstream that our Federal Parliament is just a big club that puts on an act for the public, when in reality its members look after each other with taxpayer funded goodies - remember the very nasty exchange between Hawke and Peacock which seemed to have been forgotten over drinks at the racetrack.

Tony Abbott's office will do it hard from here until September 14.

- John Pasquarelli: kojak@mmnet.com.au