Melbourne Observer. 120425A. April 25, 2012. Part A. Pages 1-24, Pages 33-34

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LEST WE FORGET

ANNIE CAST NAMED Page 12

WAR HORSE LAUNCH Page 3

SUNSET BLVD OPENS Page 5

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Observer ISSN 1447 4611

■ Aishling Smith and Amy Pereira represented Loretta Mandeville Hall, Toorak, and presented this floral tribute at the ANZAC Commemoration at the Nurses’ Memorial Centre in St Kilda Rd. More photos on Page 14.

Page 2 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 25, 2012

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Melbourne Observer

W hen you lose someone you love you don’ don’tt need someone telling you how it is is..

You need ggenuine enuine empathy and sup port. support. ement details Y ou need clear arrang arrangement details..

You need things done the way you want.

Most of all you need to ffeel eel included - lik amily. likee a ffamily.

How do we know?

Because that’ hat we do that’ss w what do..

T ender Moments - Tender Care

9369 4919 24 Hour Service Altona - Laverton - Werribee www.candlepines.com.au

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Breaking News

45 YEARS ON, VIETNAM VET FINALLY WINS HEALTH CLAIM War Horse in Melbourne

SOLDIER APPEALS ■ Major Ting Li, of the Australian Army, has won the right to appeal a Restricted Court Martial, in which he is accused of creating a disturbance on service land. But the appeal was dismissed.

Li is accused of entering the office of public servant Andrew Snashall, while wearing uniform,forcefully placing his own body in the doorway while Snashall was trying to close the door.

Li - working as a legal officer - is accused of speaking in a raised voice, and in an agitated and aggressive manner.

He was severely reprimanded and fined $3000.

Li started in the Australian Defence Force as a sailor in 1995, then joined the Regular Army. Li claimed Snashall made a racially offensive remark.

It’s All About You!

● Albert with ‘Joey’, in War Horse, to open in Melbourne on New Years Eve ■ The eagerly awaited play War Horse will Horse. The interview can be heard on 96.5FM have its Melbourne premiere at The State on Sunday (April 29) at 12 noon during That's Theatre on New Year's Eve. Entertainment.

For some time I have told by friends reWar Horse received many theatre award turning from overseas trips that this was the nominations on The West End and Broadbest play they had seen. way and then Academy Award nominations I attended the launch of War Horse and we for the Steven Spielberg film version. were introduced to the magnificent puppetry The play has been seen by more than two of the horse Joey. million people worldwide. It is based on the Controlled by two puppeteers and Albert, novel by Michael Morpurgo and presented the young boy who befriends the horse, it was by The National Theatre of Great Britain amazing to see Joey "come to life." and Global Creatures in association with The Finn Caldwell, from Handspring Puppet Arts Centre Melbourne.

Company, who is the Associate Puppetry DiThe story begins in England in 1914 when rector for the production, explained how the Albert's beloved horse Joey is sold to the cavplay developed. alry and shipped to France to take part in the We were then taken out on the lawn under- war. Albert cannot forget Joey and when he is neath the giant Arts Centre Spire to see ‘Joey’ old enough to enlist he sets out on a mission to interact with a real horse named ‘Charlie’. bring Joey home.

The television and newspaper photographers Tickets are available from The Arts Cenhad a great time filming the event. tre on 1300 182 183 or Ticketmaster 136 100.

I had the opportunity to talk to Finn Caldwell - Kevin Trask for a radio interview about his role in War (Julie Houghton also reports, P 37)

HARRY BEITZEL ON FOOTY - PAGE 54

● HMAS Perth (II) came under fire in Vietnam in 1967 ■ Geelong-born Navy veteran Robert Scott has finally won his claim against the Repatriation Commission that his hypertension and excessive alcohol intake is related to his Vietnam War service.

Scott last week won his claim in the Administrative Appeals Tribunal, with a decision handed down by member Anne Shanahan.

The Tribunal heard that Scott joined the Navy at age 17 in 1967, and served on the HMAS Cerberus and HMAS Parramatta, before joining the crew of the HMAS Perth, which sailed for Vietnamese waters.

Able Seaman Scott was working when a three-inch shell fired from shore passed through the edge of a turret, through the deck, and exploded.

The turret contained five five-inch sheels, each weighing 70 pounds.

“Had these exploded it would have caused immense damage to the Perth and its crew,” Miss Shanahan said.

Scott, previously a non-drinker, starting drinking beer and gin. He also commenced smoking.

On his return to Australia, he began drinking heavily, and was arrested after being in a fight.

He became a heavy drinker of red wine when managing an RAAF base ‘hotel in Penang, Malaysia.

“He now drinks predominantly white wine and will consume up to half to three quarters of a bottle per day. He drinks five days per week.”

The Tribunal was told thatScott already receives a pension at 100 per cent of the general rate for his war-caused disabilities.

The only further entitlement he sought was payment of the costs of the medical treatment of his hypertension.

This had been denied by the Department of Veterans’Affairs, and the Veterans’ Review Board.

Melbourne

Observer In This 56-Page Edition

News: Sex offender loses Court appeal .... Page 5 Melbourne People: Been and Seen ........ Page 6 Di Rolle: Fire, ice, darkness, joy ........... Page 8 Melb. Confidential: Latest gossip ........... Page 9 People: Annie children’s cast photos .... Page 11 Long Shots: The Editor’s column ......... Page 12 Pictorial: ANZAC - Nurses Memorial ..... Page 14 Nick Le Souef: Outback legend ............ Page 20 Travel and Wine: David Ellis reports ...... Page 21 Observer Readers Club: Lots of stuff ...... Page 22 Melbourne Trader: Free readers ad ........ Page 25 Movies and DVDs Local Theatre Radio Confidential Showbiz News

Observer Showbiz

Latest News Flashes Around Victoria

Matt Newton arrested ■ Melbourne-born actor Matthew Newton has been arrested in Miami, accused of battery of a hotel worker.

Prison after smashing ■ Peter James Pettit, 37, of Portland, will be imprisoned after violating a court order by smashing his former partner’s laptop and phone.

Jailed for 12 months ■ Scott Kenneth Lewis, 21, has been jailed for 12 months after a series of break-ins in Ballarat and Clunes.

Mike McColl Jones

Top 5 THE TOP 5 FIRST WORDS FROM MOLLY MELDRUM THAT WEREN'T REVEALED IN THE CHANNEL 7 INTERVIEW. 5. "Who put the bins out?"

4. "Jennifer…..um….Hawkins?"

3. "Welcome to 'Countdown".

2. "Let's sit down by the tree and open the presents".

1. "Who put this ridiculous hat on my head?"

Page 4 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 25, 2012

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Mark Richardson ♥

Straight from the heart

E-Mail: mark@localmedia.com.au

ROCKIN’ PORCH THOUGHTS Joe Matera ■ Joe Matera's parents desperately wanted him to become a Bank Manager, but instead they watched their 15-year-old teach himself to the play a six-string guitar before leaving his hometown Kyabram to pursue a career in music.

Joe joined Australian rock outfit Geisha in 2007 and left in 2010 to pursue a solo career. Two of Joe's major achievements include having his track Starry Night commissioned for Ricky - The Movie and serving as lead guitarist in the orchestra for the Shepparton Theatre Arts Group award-winning stage productions including Les Misérables and Chess.

Joe is also a respected music journalist, having published music reviews and interviewing the biggest names in the music industry, and in a café in Brighton, we discussed the release of his latest CD - Slave To The Fingers that has hit the airwaves in Europe. And being one of my guitar heroes, I cheekily presented him with my latest 'Porch Thought Poetry' for his professional lyrical review.

As a teenager, why were you drawn to the Rock genre?

Rock was big part of my childhood; particularly in my teenage years as I listened to a lot of rock albums. Rock is very flamboyant and it connected with me. Rock is about energy and drive. I grew up watching Countdown and seeing bands perform such as Hush really inspired me. Seeing their fans scream to the guitar was a powerful image. I was very shy and my guitar empowered me and became my voice.

When did you leave country Victoria to pursue your career?

I moved to Melbourne permanently in the year 2000. In the early 90s I was playing in a lot of cover bands performing in country areas, such as the Murray River clubs and venues along the border.

I was also writing articles and there came a stage when I wanted to take music more seriously that also fitted in with my journalism.

There is only so much a musician can do within the restricted confines of the country, if one wants to be serious about a music career and try and etch a living out of it, you need to move to Melbourne.

You have written for major pa-

● Joe Matera performs at a bcakyard BBQ last weekend pers and magazines including; Sir George Martin being 'Rock Roy- this EP so successful?

It's instrumental, melodic rock and Australian Guitar, Rolling Stone in alty' and considered the fifth Beatle, Australia, Classic Rock, Guitar & but Marilyn Mansion stands out the very catchy. It's best described as listening to songs without lyrics as the Bass and Metal Hammer (to name most.

He is very smart and switched on. lyrics have been replaced by guitar a few) how did you break into muHe may present the image of being and people enjoy humming along to sic journalism?

I just started checking out music dark or someone to steer away from, the melodies.

I am signed by an Austrian Label sites on the internet in the 90s and but underneath that persona, he is - W.A.R Productions. wrote a couple of reviews for a very deep and intelligent.

Slave To The Fingers is doing exWhat is one of the biggest mismusic site - they really liked my work and asked me if I wanted to do more. conceptions that people have about ceptionally well in Europe in regards to radio airplay, garnering a growing My biggest break was scoring an musicians?

There is a perception that people fan base and selling CDs. I am tourinterview with Killing Heidi who at that time were the biggest band in in music are rolling in money, and ing Europe in September.

Legendary English singer/ the country and that interview got that's not the case. Any creative artist being in music, painting or writ- songwriter Steve Harley is on his first my name out there.

I started writing for more maga- ing, find it hard to make a living.

Guys that I know who have a zines overseas such as Total Guitar in the UK and the Street Press in number one record are still working Melbourne. At one point I was do- day jobs to survive. If you are working up to five interviews per week. ing in cover bands, you can make a As a performer, you are cur- decent living, but when you are crerently making news headlines in ating something original, you don't Europe, what interview questions often get rewarded for it.

What is the biggest challenge get under your skin?

What irks me is when journalists that Australian musicians face?

There is little industry support for ask me really basic questions that are outlined and detailed in media musicians in Australia and many artreleases such as; "What's the title ists have to go overseas to achieve success. of your new CD?" I am a proud ambassador of AusThis immediately tells me they are armatures have not researched tralia through my music overseas, but there simply needs to be more anything about my music.

Who is the one of the most in- support for musicians in Australia.

You have a massive following in teresting musicians you have interEurope following with your latest viewed?

There has been a few including CD - Salve To The Fingers, why is

ever Australian promotional tour, I understand you are performing with him?

I accompanied Steve on guitar for several live acoustic sessions that we performed for radio and TV. It was a thrill and honour to perform with one of the UK greatest musicians.

I understand you support your Australian fans by playing at backyard BBQ's and 40th Birthday parties, how important is it to equally be loyal to your fans?

Fans and supporters of my music are everything. Two Melbourne fans in particular, Sharryn Bloor and Nicole Jensen organised a 'Sunday Sippers' backyard BBQ concert last week for an intimate acoustic session of my CD in the lead-up to my tour.

They have gone above and beyond and I was happy to oblige to play at their BBQ. Who would you like to perform on your 'Porch at your backyard BBQ? Neil Diamond because his songs are simple with great lyrics, melodies and great arrangements.

I wrote the lyrics for a new song called - Just Fine, that I am hoping you can access based on your musical experience, they are rough, but what do you think?

Based on the lyrics, it will only take few minutes to write the chords and come up with the melody which is a sign of a good song. I will grab my guitar and we can compose the song right now.

What is your 'Porch Thought' of the Day? I just wish the Australian media and radio stations would acknowledge our great artists and their talents more.

- Mark Richardson

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 25, 2012 - Page 5

Financial Planning

Breaking News

SEX ACCUSED LOSES COURT APPEAL Sunset Boulevard at St Kilda

Briefs

with Jon and Andrew Rancie of Rancie McLean Financial Planning Level 4, 420 Collins Street, Melbourne Vic 3000 Phone: 9671 4990

Bad joke

● Rod Quantock ■ Alleged comedian Rod Quantock and 60 univited guests gatecrashed a wedding at Comme restaurant at the weekend, upsetting the bridal couple and their party.

Apology

● David Gulpilil ■ TVWeek Logies organisers and Channel 9 are apologising for mistakenly using the image of actor David Gulpilil in a tribute to deceased Aboriginal actor David Ngoombujarra.

Dispute ■ Lawyers fees incurred in as dispute between Hobsons Bay Mayor Tony Briffa and Cr Peter Hemphill could exceed $250,000, reports the Leader.

■ Brett Neubecker has lost his Court of Appeal bid against sexual abuse convictions and a minimum 3½-year jail sentence.

Neubecker appealed to Supreme Court Judsges Mandie and Cavanough, over charges for seven separate offences allegedly committed on a child aged 12.

The Court heard allegations of offences at French Island and Crib Point.

Neubecker was alleged to have fellated the youngster, and then made the boy fellate him.

Other offences are alleged to have occurred at Hastings and Woolies Beach. These were all denied by Neubecker.

The youngster later attempted suicide, the Court was told.

Neubecker’s offending was described by County Court Judge Gucciardo as “brazen, persistent, callous and oppressive”.

The Judges said Neubecker showed no signs of remorse.

Dollar Cost Averaging Does It Work?

● Maureen Andrew plays silent movie star Norma Desmond in CLOC Musical Theatre’s Sunset Boulevard, opening at the National Theatre on May 4.

Photo: Richard Crompton ■ CLOC Musical Theatre presents the Australian non-professional premiere of Sunset Boulevard from May 4 – 19 at the National Theatre, St Kilda.

With music by Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber and lyrics by Don Black and Christopher Hampton, the musical adaptation of the 1950s classic movie Sunset Boulevard recreates the spectacular tale of faded and deluded silent movie star Norma Desmond.

CLOC’s show is directed by Chris Bradtke, with musical direction by Andrew McCalman and choreography by James Rooney. Tickets: $45/$40/$30.

Bookings: 1300 362 547 or www.cloc.org.au

LAWYER ENTITLED TO FUNDS ■ Melbourne barrister Simon Gillespie-Jones (pictured) is entitled to claim against the Legal Services Board Fidelity Fund for unpaid fees, following a Court of Appeal judgement last week.

The Legal Services Board lost its appeal before Supreme Court Judges Nettle, Redlich and Hansen, sitting as the Court of Appeal.

The Court heard that a client’s payments of fees due to Gillespie-Jones

Melbourne Observations with Matt Bissett-Johnson

had been misappropraited

by Springvale solictor Michael Grey.

The client paid a total of $91,700 to Mr Grey, with most of it due to be forwarded to a barrister’s clerk.

Robert Richter QC was paid $6600 for his work on the case.

Gillespie-Jones received only $22,070 of the $55,00 due to him, with the remaining $32,930 misappropraited by Grey.

A Dr Giles claimed $16,800 after being retained as an expert witness.

“The Act prohibits the use of trust money to pay debts of the law practice or to intermix them with other money,” Judge Hansen said.

The Judges recorded that County Court Judge Kennedy had found that Gillespie-Jones’s fees to be a fair and reasonable value of the work performed.

Underpaid?

■ Butler & Blackberry Melbourne Pty Ltd, and director Lenny Scalia, are to face court, accused of underpaying a foreign employee by more than $8000.

Valuable lessons can sometimes be lost due to emotional responses created from short-term volatility and disruption. It can be so frustrating!

One of the most straightforward strategies that can be utilised to assist client portfolios in times of high frustration and volatility is that of dollar cost averaging.

Dollar cost averaging is an investment strategy that can be used with any investment. Dollar cost averaging involves investing equal monetary amounts regularly over specific time periods (such as $100 monthly) in a particular investment or portfolio.

By doing so, more shares are purchased when prices are low and fewer shares are purchased when prices are high. The point of this is to lower the total average cost per share of the investment, giving the investor a lower overall cost for the shares purchased over time.

The really interesting thing with dollar cost averaging actually works better in volatile markets rather than those that gradually increase.

As investors we all prefer markets like those from 2003 to early 2008 when despite the odd “market correction” along the way the overall direction was pointing up.

Since the start of 2008 and the global financial crisis volatility has been ever present. 1% to 2% swings on a regular basis have coursed a significant amount of stress but interestingly enough some of us have become a little conditioned to it!

That’s a discussion for another time.

An example of a dollar cost averaging strategy is where $100 is invested over five time periods.

The market price of the investment begins at $10, falls to $7.50, falls further to $5.50 before bouncing back to $11 before settling back at $10. In other words the market over the five investment periods has ended where it started.

The bad news about dollar cost averaging is that some times you will be buying into a market at high prices although you will also be buying in at low points, which is where you essentially make your money.

In this case, at the end of the period by dollar cost averaging the investment portfolio was worth $606. Keep in mind, $500 was invested and the market ended where it started.

If you had invested the same amount in a market that rose steadily from $10 in $1 increments to $14, you would have had a portfolio worth close to $591.

The average cost of the dollar cost averaged portfolio was $8.25 compared to $11.83 for the gradually increasing market.

What we quickly learn here is less about the end portfolio value and more about overcoming our natural behaviour. We generally feel good about investing when markets are trending up steadily.

Markets that are volatile unsettle us and create doubt about the wisdom of investing and have us second-guess our decisions.

A disciplined investment approach like dollar cost averaging helps overcome that natural behavioural that wants us to try and time the market, which is fraught with danger.

As always, if you would like to review your personal financial situation we would be happy to meet with you initially, at our expense.

Jon & Andrew Rancie are Authorised Representatives of Australian Financial Services (AFSL: No. 297239) Note: In this article we have not considered your personal situation nor your goals or objectives. You should not base your future investment decisions on the content of this article. Before you invest your hard earned money you should consult a Financial Adviser and have your situation reviewed, clarified and agree to a strategy for investing for the future.

Page 6 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Alby on the comeback

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Lock Up at La Mama

● Filmmaker Alby Mangels in Melbourne with adventurous Suzanne Carbone ■ Alby Mangels took a whistle stop from his world safari this week to promote his latest video production, Don’t Feel Like A Prick? It is about diabetes.

Mangels, now living somewhere in Micronesia, says he has been in self-imposed seclusion for 15 years. But now he has a website and is flogging 40 DVDs and a biography. There is a total of 72 items at his online shop. The package of all six dozen items is priced at $1149. Mangels met with leopard-print clad Suzanne Carbone who interrupted her own adventure-packed global trek for this photo.

An Inspector Calls

● Roderick Chappell's dinner jacket is adjusted by Laura Greene Heidelberg Theatre Company's An Inspector Calls.

Photo: Patricia Tyler ■ Heidelberg Theatre Company presents An Inspector Calls from May 3-19 at 8pm, with 2pm matinees on Sunday May 6 and 13 at 36 Turnham Ave, Rosanna.

John Jenkins directs J B Priestley's 1940 haunting thriller which begins when Inspector Goole calls unexpectedly on the prosperous Birling family home.

Their convivial dinner party is shattered by his investigations into a young woman's apparent suicide.

Tickets: $25 Adults $22 Conc. (not Seniors Card) Bookings: Online at htc.org.au or 9457 4117.

● Martin Sharpe, Andrew Mabbott and Damien Richardson in Lock Up at La Mama Theatre until May 13.

■ La Mama Theatre opens today (Wed., April 25) with Lock Up,and runs until May 13 at 205 Faraday St, Carlton.

Written and directed by Damien Richardson, Lock Up tells of Jason about to begin his tertiary studies in Australian history when he gets drunk at an orientation party and takes what he believes to be an ‘ecstasy’ tablet.

After exhibiting some anti-social behaviour, Jason is arrested and locked up for the night.Whilst in custody, Jason meets Myerhold, a 42-year-old maniac, quite possibly incapable of redemption, and Murray, a man struggling to come to terms with his Aboriginality.

It is through this often hilarious but ultimately tragic incarceration that Jason learns the lesson of his life.

Lock Up raises questions about race and identity, in an attempt to highlight the notions we use to avoid looking at ourselves.

This ‘denial’ can be funny, but also exposes us to unavoidable tragedy.

Season: Until May 13 Times: Wed, Sun at 6.30pm,Thu, Fri, Sat at 8.00pm Venue: La Mama Theatre. 205 Faraday St, Carlton Running time: 60 minutes Tickets: $25 Full | $15 Concession Tickets available online www.lamama.com.au or 9347 6142

Fax: 1-800 231 312

Ted to perform concert

■ Retired radio man Keith McGowan and wife Angela depart tomorrow (Thurs.) on a Central Australia tour, with 40 paying passengers. The tour takes in Coober Pedy, Alice Springs, plus a trip on The Ghan to Darwin. Entertainer Ted Egan has promised to perform a free concert for the group.

ANZAC awards for Vics ■ Two Victorians feature in the ANZAC Awards announed by RSL National President Rear Admiral Ken Doolan: ■ Ann Cook, in recognition of more than 50 years of dedicated service to the community of Melbourne, particular through Oncology Department of St Vincent's Hospital, and as an advocate for patientfocused care; and ■ Susan Sherson in recognition of more than 50 years of dedicated service to the community of Melbourne as a nurse educator, as an advocate for improving patient care and as a campaigner for the recognition of Service nurses.

Knox Theatre Company rehearses

St Kilda Youth Festival

● Cr Serge Thomann (centre) with friends ■ Local Port Phillip City councillor Serge Thomann was spotted, helping to launch the St Kilda Youth Festival this week.

● Jane Holmes (Ruth) and Scott Russell (Norman) rehearse ■ Knox Theatre Company presents Alan Ayckbourn's classic English comedy Table Manners from May 18 - 26 at the Knox Community Arts Centre, Cnr Mountain Hwy and Scoresby Rd, Bayswater. A dysfunctional family is drawn together for a weekend in a country homestead. Amid all the humour about a dysfunctional family, the play also deals with loneliness, frustration, family tensions and thwarted lust. Tickets: $22 Adults, $20 Senior or concession card holders and group bookings.. Bookings: 9762 1901 or www.knoxtheatrecompany.com

● Melbourne woman Megan Castran has featured in a New York Times Spring photofeature. Megan was in the Big Apple to attend an Oprah ‘life class’

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 25, 2012 - Page 7

p +61 7 5492 666 free ph 1800 068 798 e info@norfolks.com.au www.norfolks.com.au 32 Queen of Colonies Parade, Moffat Beach, Caloundra, Qld

Page 8 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Goodbye Greg Ham ■ I felt very sad when I heard the news of the death of Men At Work musician /flautist Greg Ham. Too young, too soon, and too talented.

Colin Hay spoke beautifully about him and spoke for us all who remember the band as a great one and one of which we were all proud.

This business called show business can be very cruel. And for all the highs there are equal lows.

Vale Greg Ham: you were loved, and you were talented, and you will be remembered with great fondness.

As Glenn A Baker said, he was a good bloke!

Vale Levon Helm ■ It’s been quite a week. Molly Meldrum was back on our television screens in a lovely interview with his good mate Jen Keyte who handled the interview beautifully, as only Jen can.

I cannot help but feel how good it would have been to see him on stage at the Channel Nine coverage of the Logies accepting his Hall of Fame award.

I would hate to think that Seven prevented him from appearing on an opposition channel!

I do believe however that doctors had advised him against a live television appearance. I could tell from the television interview he still has a long way to come.

I guess it was somewhat selfish that I wanted him to appear during the show – his recovery is the first priority for all who love him. Great to see you Molly.

Then the news of the passing of The Band’s singer and drummer the great Levon Helm.

Helm co-founded The Band and once said that being the drummer he always had the best seat in the house.

If you have never seen Levon Helm in action, get hold of Martin Scorsese’s The Last Waltz – I have my own copy and I have watched it umpteen times and this week will watch it one more time.

One of my favourite music videos, one of ‘the great music docos’ – the performance of Levon Helm singing The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down is nothing short of brilliant and the ending with Bob Dylan on stage with The Band is one of the best songs and coverage of music in music doco history.

Levon Helm backed Bob Dylan in the 1960s. In a rare and most unusual thing for Bob Dylan to do he wrote a personal post on his website sharing a reflection on his former drummer.

Dylan wrote: “He was my bosom buddy friend to the end, of the last true great spirits of my or any other generation. This is just so sad to talk about. I still can remember the first day I met him and the last day I saw him.

We go back pretty far and had been through some trials together. I’m going to miss him, as I am sure a whole lot of others will too.”

Levon Helm and The Band - whose lineup included Robbie Robertson, Rick Danko, Garth Hudson and Richard Manuel – became synonymous with the hippie generation and played at Woodstock Festival and are best known for their hits The Weight’ and The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down.

Among the last visitors he had at his hospital in New York where he was being treated was band mate Robbie Robertson.

I met Robbie Robertson many years ago when he came on The Don Lane Show. He was charismatic and clever and funny and most memorable.

I am trying to remember if Levon was with him and I have done some homework among my diaries but cannot find any reference to him being here. I am sure he was.

The Levon Helms of the world don’t come along too often.

● Levon Helm

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To

Di

I love my job!

Di Rolle is heard most Mondays with Andrew McLaren on 3AW, just after the 1am quiz.

For FIRE, ICE, DARKNESS AND JOY

■ I am saving my pennies to go and see the stunning French Irish chanteuse Camilla O’Sullivan.

I am a huge fan of hers. She enjoys a formidable international reputation for her dramatic interpretations of songs of Jacques Brel, Nick Cave, Tom Waits, David Bowie and more.

Chameleon-like on stage, each song has a different character with its story to tell.

The award-winning singer has stunned audiences around the world with 5-star sellout performances, including Sydney Opera House, London’s Royal Festival Hall and a show-stealing appearance on one of my fave TV shows Later With Jools Holland (BBC).

Dark, fierce, amusing and mesmerizing, Camille transforms each song into an intense theatrical experience, drawing her audience into a world illuminated by the dark and the light.

Expect fire, ice, darkness, joy and pure passion.

Camille O’Sullivan: Melbourne Recital Centre, Elizabeth Murdoch Hall, Saturday 23 June.

“Mad, magical and magnificent … a major star” said the Scotsman.

I am very excited to be telling you about Camille.

Irish Tatler named her Woman of the Year last year.

Come join me in the queue at Melbourne Recital Centre or book direct- www.melbourne recital.com or phone 9699 3333.

I can’t wait!

with leading Melbourne publicist DI ROLLE

We need Community

● Camille O’Sullivan ■ I’m going to finish my column this week with a quote. I love a good quote and one landed in my in-box this week from Oprah!

“Every tomorrow has two handles.

We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith.” - a quote by HenryWard Beecher. I found this particularly comforting this week.

■ The more I hear of sad news the more I need my community.

It was so good to go to work and see people and create and do good for people and get on with life.

Community is a new TV series coming to TV 1.

Reviews have been excellent. “One of the season’s best new sitcoms … absurdly funny” said Entertainment Weekly.

“Community … could be the long-missing piece in the Must-See TV puzzle”.

It is an American TV television comedy series created by Dan Harmon and starring Chevy Chase, Emmy and Golden Globe winner, Joel McHale and guests.

The series has been met with huge success and the US premiere ranked number one with adults 18-34, the highest rating comedy for some time.

It has become a global cult success, with over one million Facebook fans and 86,000 Twitter followers!

It’s about to start in Australia, premiering today (Wed.) with a marathon special event: 1pm-11.30pm!.

Then weekdays commencing tomorrow (Thurs.) at 5.30pm – excellent programming.

I like the sound of this show. The series follows a group of students at a community college in the fictional locale of Greendale, Colorado.

The series heavily uses meta-humour and pop culture references, often parodying film and television clichés.

I like anything Chevy Chase does ,so I will be watching this!

Melbourne International Comedy Festival bring on the 2013 event!

■ The Melbourne International Comedy Festival has finished for another year and I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed this year’s events!

One of the highlights was the visits to the Melbourne Town Hall.

They do such a good job and pretty much hand the Town Hall over to the festival each year and it is

the place to be.

Some nights it was quite hard getting up those stairs for all the faces and people I bumped into out the front of the Town Hall – some nights I stood outside and talked and mixed with so many comedians and members of the media it was almost a show out the front every night.

The staff at the Town Hall were fabu-

lous and love it each year as all the comedians and the crowds throng to the events.

There were 400 this year; that’s a lot of comedians and a lot of laughing to be had.

It was a big success and I know a lot of the comedians had the best time.

It’s something of which Melbourne can be really proud.

Edinburgh, Mon-

treal and Mel-bourne have the biggest comedy festivals in the world.

I loved the atmosphere in the city nightly, the smiling faces, the freedom of the city and the spirit with which everyone got involved, from the managers and the agents, to the publicist to the participants, it was a great Comedy Festival.

A final word on Molly ■ How good was it to see Molly Meldrum at the football at his beloved St Kilda’s game.

The crowd roared and the players waved up at him as they walked off the ground.

Our Molly is slowly coming back.

- Di Rolle

NGA jobs ■ Tim Fairfax has been named as Interim Chair of the Council of the National Gallery of Australia.

Dr Ron Radford has been re-appointed as Director for a further two years.

Arts Minister Simon Crean paid tribute to outgoing Council Chair Rupert Myer’s nine years of service at the helm of the Gallery.

“Mr Myer has many legacies, including the redevelopment of the Gallery and its 11 new indigenous galleries, made possible through his genuine love of the arts, the links he built between the Gallery and the business community, and his own philanthropy,” Mr Crean said.

Tim Fairfax has agreed to serve as Interim Chair until December 31.

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 25, 2012 - Page 11

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Confidential Melbourne

Talk is cheap, gossip is priceless

MORNINGTON FINANCE MAN PERMANENTLY BANNED

Bitch Melbourne’s Secrets

Steve Price back on air

● Steve Price ■ Fresh from overseeing the MTR 1377 radio disaster which closed last month, Steve Price is bobbing up on air again this time in Sydney.

Price will commute from Melbourne so he can host the evening program on 2GB. He replaces Brian Wilshire who has been in the role since 1979, and who is said to be unhappy about being relegated to a midnight-dawn role.

Wilshire will take three months’ longservice leave to write a book.

Price’s MTR guest presenter Andrew Bolt is expected to appear nightly on the program. Price and Bolt managed to attract about 2 per cent of the Melbourne audience on MTR.

Celebrity makeover ■ A drive to soften the image of Herald Sun reporter Fiona Byrne is underway. The former Confidential pages editor is now actively using social media with a raft of praise-filled paragraphs about local celebrities.

Byrne describes Kerri-Anne Kennerley as “always impressive and professional”. Patti Newton is called a “groovy granny”. Byrne’s column was previously tagged by the paper as one with “sting”.

■ The Australian Securities and Investments Commission has permanently banned former contracts for difference (CFD) dealer Simon Gundry following an investigation.

ASIC’s investigation focused on the conduct of Simon Marcus Gundry, of Mornington, and his online investment business SSG Trading during the period fromJanuary 2007 to December 2010.

It was found that although the business was deregistered in April 2008, Gundry continued to use the SSG Trading business name when he dealt with some of his 15 investors, inducing them to invest $835,168 through his trading platform.

ASIC found that Gundry, who is also under investigation by Victoria Police, had engaged in misleading and deceptive conduct, and induced investors to deal in

financial products by providing them with a weekly trade review that indicated investments were performing well.

This information turned out to be misleading and deceptive.

‘Instead of using the funds to trade, Mr Gundry spent the money on day-to-day living expenses, as well as to fund various payment entitlements to the investors,’ said ASIC Commissioner Peter Kell.

“We want to ensure that product providers in the financial services sector act with honesty and integrity.

If they do not then ASIC will take action to remove them from the industry,’ Mr Kell said.

Mr Gundry has the right to appeal to the Administrative Appeals Tribunal for a review of ASIC’s decision.

Inquiry on Tyler case

Rumour Mill

■ The Ombudsman and Auditor-General are being asked to investigate Casey Council’s payment of more than $30,000 to settle an unproven harassment claim against its CEO, Mike Tyler.

The Council made the payout before an investigation delivered its findings on Tyler’s innocence, or otherwise.

Tyler narrowly won a vote, 6-5, which sought ● Mike Tyler to have him sacked.

Mayor Cr Sam Aziz said the payout was made to avoid further ratepayers’ funds going on the case, but now concedes it might have been better to fight the matter.

BEST KEPT OUT OF JAIL: JUDGE ■ County Court Judge Michael McInerney says it is often in the community’s best interest to keep people convicted of serious offences out of jail.

Arthur Edwards and Cain Pickins, both 27, escaped immediate jail terms after being convicted of aggravated burglary, unlawful assault, criminal damage and making threats to kill.

They were both given two-year suspended sentences and were placed on community corrections orders.

● Fiona Byrne

Network

● Gina Rinehart ■ Mining magnate Gina Rinehart’s close business friend John Singleton is to create an Australian Mining Radio Network.

His Macquarie Radio Network interests already owns eight country stations in Queensland.

Banned Hear It Here First

Don’t believe it: Robert ■ C o n t rove r s i a l Wallan real estate agent, and sometime local politician, Robert Gordon, has taken out public notices in local newspapers to warn people about messages on social media. “Don’t believe everything you are told or see on Facebook,” he warns.

● Robert Gordon

‘Puma-like animal’ ■ Sightings of a puma-like ‘big cat’ continue to be reported in the Dandenong Ranges. The latest report comes from Belgrave, following other sightings at Christmas Hills and Steels Creek, near Yarra Glen.

Late last year, a horse at The Basin suffered unexplained curved claw wounds on its upper back flanks.

Owner Kate Barry is convinced that a puma-like beast is to blame.

INSURANCE AGENT STRUCK OFF

■ The Australian Securities and Investments Commission has permanently banned former insurance broker Alan Charstone of Croydon South from providing financial services.

Between August 2009 and July 2010, Charstone, was an authorised representative of Insurance Advisernet Australia Pty Ltd (IAA).

ASIC’s investigation found Charstone engaged in dishonest and deceptive conduct between

Whispers

August 2009 and July 2010 in relation to business and personal insurance.

Charstone failed to place adequate insurance cover for clients and misappropriated client funds.

According to an initial report prepared by IAA, the conduct involved 54 clients and cost IAA a total of $58,803.68 to reinstate and/ or place insurance cover for each client.

Charstone was found not to have complied with services laws

E-Mail: Editor@MelbourneObserver.com.au

■ A giant golf ball sign at Kialla Golf Club, near Shepparton, has been banned after it was erected. The Club did not lodge planning application papers until after the sign was constructed on rural land.

Aurora

■ A special running of the Southern Aurora train took place last Tuesday (April 17) to mark the 50th anniversary of direct Melbourne-Sydney rail services.

Prior to 1962, passengers had to change trains at Albur y because of the different rail gauages in Victoria (5’3”) and New South Wales (4’8½”).

Page 10 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 25, 2012

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 25, 2012 - Page 11

Melbourne People

Annie Children’s Cast Announced Regent Theatre, Melbourne Show opens May 24

● Monique Heath, Caitlin Marks, Hattie Hook

● Amy Lyon and Jasmine Goldberg

● Quinn Cameron and Maddison Padula

● Mackensie Young and Lucinda Armstrong Hall

● Bronte Muir and Mietta White

● Cheyenne Griggs and Paris Mahar

● Wren Gillett and Kandice Joye

● Teagan Bartolo and Isabella Meilak

● Eliza Carlin and Sarah Croce

● Madison Lu and Maxine Palmerson

● Claudia Chayna, Georgia Babuto and Stella Carroll

Show opens May 24 ■ The popular Broadway musical Annie will open in one month’s time at The Regent Theatre.

Sows start on Thursday, May 24, and ‘Opening Night’ will be held on Tuesday, May 29, with a fisrt night party at the Sofitel.

The show is based on the Harold Grey comic strip, Little Orphan Annie. The show opened on Broadway on April 21, 1977, and ran for nearly six years. It was played in 22 countreis including the UK, Argentina, Japan, Germany, Sweden and Spain.

Annie became a smash-hit movie musical in 1982 starring Aileen Quinn, Albert Finney and Carol Burnett.

Some of the hits include It’s The Hard Knock Life, Easy Street, You’re Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile, NYC, Maybe and Tomorrow.

Tickets fort the Melbourne shows range from $50.90 to $110.90, and are being sold through Ticketmaswter. 1-300 111 011 or ticketmaster.com.au The show features Anthony Warlow, Nancye Hayes, Todd McKenney, Chloe Dallimore and Alan Jones.

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Page 12 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 25, 2012 Melbourne

Observer

Heart of Gold

Our Doors are Open!

Freemasons Victoria donates funds to Heart Kids

● Julie Hoffman Charity and benevolent activities have always played a significant role in Freemasonry, and more so now that Bob Jones, Freemasons Victoria newly installed Grand Master, says he is enjoying his new role immensely, in particular, the charity and benevolence side of Freemasonry.

"There is nothing better than attending fundraisers and charity events across Victoria, presenting our donation and representing 13,000 Victorian Freemasons doing it is just the icing on the cake," says the Grand Master.

"Freemasons are active members of the community; whether it is looking in on an elderly neighbour, volunteering at the local hospital or manning a sausage sizzle stand on a Saturday morning," says Bob. "That's just what Freemasons do - we are eager to contribute to our local community in a positive way and for the betterment of our fellow neighbour.

There are so many worthy causes and organisations and we're only too pleased to be able to provide assistance where we can."

A recent Heart Kids charity event involved Emerald resident and mother of three, Julie Hoffmann. Titled 'Hoffy's Burpee Challenge', the 42-year-old aimed to set a new Guinness World Record by completing 1500 burpees - a complete body work out and "world's worst exercise" says to Julie. Julie is continuously working to raise funds for the charity and to honour her then-13-yearold niece Stacey who died while waiting for a heart transplant in 2007.

This challenge - 1500 burpees - was to honour what would have been Stacey's 18 birthday.

Unfortunately, due to health reasons, Julie had to stop at the 959 mark.

"I had a sinus and chest infection which was border line pleurisy and also had a virus for three weeks," says Julie. "I had been having dizzy spells for around 10 days prior and just hoped that I'd get up there and it'd all go away," she says.

"From about 250 onwards I couldn't see or hear a thing; I knew that I wasn't going to get the record, I do these every week and I don't normally start to struggle until the 1000 mark so to be struggling that bad that early on, I knew my body was trying to get me to stop."

Putting herself through these torturous burpees is nothing compared to the pain terminally ill kids put up with on a daily basis, says Julie. "I was finishing that hour no matter how hard it got.

“The Heart Kids kids don't get the opportunity to stop when the going gets tough, so neither would I. I finished the hour and my trainer and the paramedic carried me off the stage."

Julie has raised $50,000 for Heart Kids and has set her sights on next year's challenge and Freemasons will be right there.

"I did take the record for the 40 burpees in a minute so I'm pretty happy. I got one record and it won't be long before I get the other one. I've come close to 1500 in training, so I know I can do it."

Watch this space!

To find out more about Freemasonry, how to become a member, or attend upcoming public events, please visit www.freemasonsvic.net.au or 'Like' our Facebook page, www.facebook.com/ freemasonsvic for the most up to date

The Best Columnists

IT’S A HARD KNOCK LIFE

■ Two dozen young ladies lined up at Melbourne’s Regent Theatre at the weekend, to be introduced as the orphans in the local production of Annie, starting May 24.

Monique Heath, Caitlin Marks and Hattie Hook have been named as the three Annies. By legislation, production need three different casts to share the theatre workload.

Monique, 10, is from Donvale. Her siblings have appeared in Billy Elliot, Love Never Dies and Mary Poppins.

Caitlin is from Airport West, and has just filmed a music video in the Mojave Desert in California.

Hattie, of Brighton, attends the May Downs School of Dance, and she wants to be a Disney princess at Dis-neyland. Her grandfather is cartoonist Geoff Hook (‘Jeff’).

In this occasional series, Editor Ash Long profiles family and friends - no matter how tenuous the link ... and in no special order.

Peter Isaacson WAR HERO. PUBLISHER Born in London: July 31, 1920 War hero and Melbourne publisher

● The Annie’s children’s cast

Long Shots

3 casts editor@ melbourneobserver.com.au

with Ash Long, Editor “For the cause that lacks assistance, ‘Gainst the wrongs that need resistance For the future in the distance, And the good that we can do”

Stella Carroll, Claudia Chayna, Sarah Croce, Wren Gillett, Jasmine Goldberg, Cheyenne Griggs, Kandice Joye, Madison Lu, Amy Lyon, Paris Mahar, Isabella Meilak, Bronte Muir,

Maddison Padula, Maxine Palmerson, Mietta White and Mackensie Young.

Annie was first staged 35 years ago, and is based on the comic strip Little Orphan Annie.

Observer Treasury ● Anthony Warlow ■ Executive Producer Walter van Nieuwkuyk, standing in for John Frost, also named the 21 orphan girls who will appear with Anthony Warlow, Nancye Hayes, Todd McKenney, Chloe Dallimore, Julie Goodwin and Alan Jones.

The orphans are LucindaArmstrong Hall, Georgia Barbuto, Teagan Bartolo, Quinn Cameron, Eliza Carlin,

Family No 2 & Friends

Thought For The Week They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old: Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun and in the morning, We will remember them.

Lest We Forget

Text For The Week ■ “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.””

- Joshua 1:9

IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT COURT REPORTS Contents of Court Lists are intended for information purposes only. The lists are extracted from Court Lists, as supplied to the public, by the Magistrates’ Court of Victoria, often one week prior to publication date; for current Court lists, please contact the Court. Further details of cases are available at www.magistratescourt.vic.gov.au The Melbourne Observer shall in no event accept any liability for loss or damage suffered by any person or body due to information provided. The information is provided on the basis that persons accessing it undertake responsibility for assessing the relevance and accuracy of its content. No inference of a party’s guilt or innocence should be made by publication of their name as a defendant. Court schedules may be changed at any time for any reason, including withdrawal of the action by the Plaintiff/Applicant. E&OE.

Free reader ads are available in the Trader - see Page 25

● Peter Isaacson ■ ANZAC Day is an appropriate time to recognise Peter Isaacson, with whom we had an association in suburban newspapers in the 1970s and 1980s, and whose firm was contracted to be our printer in the 1990s. We saw him as recently as Bruce Ruxton’s memorial service at St Paul’s Cathedral, earlier this year. He always looks fit.

Peter Isaccson was proprietor of the Observer from 1977 to 1989. He had also been owner and Editor-in-Chief of the Southern Cross group of community newspapers in Melbourne, and a stable of more than 60 other publications, before selling them to the APN group in the 1990s.

Peter Isaacson was born to Arnold and Caroline Isaacson in London in 1920. The couple had married at the Dalston Synagogue in March 1919.

Peter’s forebears had been attracted to the Victorian Gold Rush during the 1850s, and his grandfather Solomon was a draper at Pleasant Creek, near the Stawell diggings.

Peter’s life in Australia started in 1926. As a young teenager, he attended Brighton Grammar School for several years, before becoming a 16year-old messenger boy at The Age. In 1940, Peter was selected for the RAAF Air Crew Reserve. He was to join the Pathfinder Force of Bomber Command. His courageous flights over Germany are detailed in the biography penned by Denis Warner.

As a young pilot in his twenties, Isaacson was awarded the rare honour of the Distinguished Flying Cross for “coolness, resolution and skilful airmanship”, being described as an “outstanding captain of aircraft”.

Peter Isaacson also became remembered for flying his Lancaster bomber Queenie IV under Sydney Harbour Bridge in 1944. The distance from the deck of the bridge to the water is 144 feet.

After WWII, Peter Isaacson purchased the fledgling Elsternwick Advertiser, adding extra titles in suburbs including Caulfield, Carnegie, Brighton and Prahran beating newsprint rationing.

Isaacson later amalgamated these titles with the Southern Cross newspaper. His stable later included dozens of trade magazines, the Sunday Observer, the This Week series, and specialist publications.

In the 1990s, Peter Isaacson sold his publishing business to the APN Media group headed by the O’Reilly family of Ireland. He was later to lament what happened to many of the publications that he had built over a lifetime’s work.

Peter Isaacson is to married Anne, and they have sons Tony and Tim, and loved grandchildren.

Peter Isaacson comes to mind when we are faced with difficult life decisions. His counsel: “When in doubt, do the courageous thing.”

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 25, 2012 - Page 13

Page 14 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 25, 2012

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Melbourne People ■ The 2012 Nurses Memorial Centre Commemorative Service was held on Sunday at the St Kilda Rd Memorial.

Scotch College Army Cadet Unit provided the Guard of Honour, and the The Keytones Choir presented Advance Australia Fair.

Centre President Professor Sandra Legg welcomed the gathering, and the 23rd Psalm and prayers were offered by the Rev. Judi Pollard.

Col. Mary Brandy read the list of 8th Division nurses who died on Radji Beach in the WWII conflict. Col. John Coulson recited the Ode. The Keytones Choir presented You’ll Never Walk Alone. An address was delivered by Dr Neil McGregor.

Wreaths were laid by:

● Prof. Sandra Legg, AM, President

Nurses Memorial Centre, 8th Division Sisters (Banka Is.), 2/3rd Australian Hospital Ship Centaur Assocdiation, Australian League of Ex-Servicemen and Women, Shrine of Remembrance, family of Betty Jeffrey, family of Sr Evelyn King, family of Sylvia McGregor (Muir), Centaur Memorial Trust for Nurses, Family of Col. Annie Sage, Australian Light Horse

Park Committee (in memory of Sr Irene Renae Singleton), Ex-Royal Australian Air Force Nursing Association, Royal Australian Army Nursing Corps Association, Returned & Services Nurses Club of Victoria, Melbourne Legacy, Airdrie House, Alfred Hospital Vietnam Nurses, Australian Red Cross - Victoria, National Council of Women of Victoria, Vi Elliott Occupational Health Nurses Trust, Ausmed Education, Loreto Mandeville Hall Toorak, Melbourne Girls’ Grammar, St Catherine’s School, MacRobertson Girls’ High School, The Grooming Room, Australian Association of Stomal Therapy Nurses (Viuc.), Royal District Nursing Service, Victorian Peri-Operative Nurses Group, Maternal & Child Health Nurses Special Interest Group, Victorian Cardiac Nurses Association, Pastoral Healthcare Network Australia, Alfred Hospital Nurses League, Ballarat Base Hospital Nurses League, Goulburn Valley Base Hospital & Mooroopna Base Hospital Past Graduates Association, La Trobe Hospital, Royal Melbourne Hospital Graduate Nurses Associatrion, National Enrolled Nurses Association, St Vincent’s Hospital Graduate Nurses Association, West Gippsland Past Graduates & Associates, Deakin University - School of Nursing and Midwifery, La Trobe University - School of Nursing, Melbourne University - School of Nursing, Monash University - School of Nursing and Midwifery, Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology - Nursing and Allied Health, Victoria University - School of Nursing & Midwifery, Australian Nursing Federation, The Keytones Choir, Royal College of Nursing Australia, Victorian Nursing and Midwifery Board of Australia, and families.

ANZAC Commemoration Nurses Memorial Centre St Kilda Rd, Melbourne

● Isobell Tunzi, 94, with daughter Fleur, presents a floral tribute from the Alfred Hospital Nurses’ League

● Ryan Bolger of the Victorian Nurses and Midwifery Board of Australia with Margaret Lord of the Keytones Choir

● Leonie Rastas with Rose Hoey

● The Keytones Choir

● John Coulson, Board member of the Nurses Memorial Centre; treasurer Bob Frankland; and Shrine governor Ron Ledingham

● Scotch College Army Cadets. Back row: Oliver Nicol, James Wrigley, Zach Herbstreit, James Malon. Front: Henry Salt and James Aitcheson

● Susan Pleunik from the Royal College of Nursing Australia, former Council member Ann Sprague, with honorary chaplain Judi Pollard

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 25, 2012 - Page 15

Page 16 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 25, 2012 Melbourne

Observer Alarm Australia

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 25, 2012 - Page 17

Melbourne Observer

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Page 18 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Services Guide

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 25, 2012 - Page 19

Services Guide

Page 20 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 25, 2012

■ Red Skelton was one of the great American comedians in film, radio and television during the Twentieth Century.

They called him ‘Red’ because of his flaming red hair. I distinctly remember the first time I saw him onscreen - it was in a film titled The Yellow Cab Man, the year was 1951 and he made me laugh.

Richard Bernard ‘Red’ Skelton was born in Indiana in 1913. His father died when Red was very young and he worked at various jobs to help his mother support the family.

At the age of 10he left home to join a travelling medicine show and two years later was working in Burlesque.

Red joined a summer stock group and then the Hagenbeck -Wallace Circus where he learnt the craft of being a circus clown. His father had been a clown in the same circus.

In 1931, at the age of 17, he met and married Edna Stillwell borrowing two dollars from her for the licence.

They became a team and worked in Vaudeville. In 1937 Red made his Broadway debut and played the Paramount Theatre for 16 weeks featuring his famous Guzzlers Gin sketch.

His regular appearances on The Rudy Vallee Radio Show led to a film contract with RKO Studios.

He played the comic relief in the Dr Kildare film series for MGM studios.

In 1941 Red began his own radio show and it

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Whatever Happened To ...

Red Skelton

By Kevin Trask of 3AW and 96.5 Inner FM was tremendously popular - the bandleader was Ozzie Nelson and his wife Harriett was the featured vocalist.

Red introduced many of his famous characters in the radio show that were later included in his television series.

In 1943 Red and Edna were divorced. He was drafted into the Army in 1944 and discharged after suffering a nervous break as a result of performing up to12 shows a day for the troops.

His national radio show had been cancelled and replaced by a situation comedy series starring Ozzie and Harriett Nelson.

Red started a new comedy radio program.

He married Georgia Davis in 1945 and his

● Red Skelton former wife Edna continued to work with him producing his radio shows. Red's daughter Valentina was born in 1947 and his son Richard Jnr in 1948.

His film roles included - Lady Be Good, DuBarry Was A Lady, The Fuller Brush Man, Pardon My Dust, Three Little Words and Lovely To Look At. Red was a complex character - he was a chronic worrier, a hypochondriac and suffered with insomnia.

In 1951 his contract with MGM expired and Red began his famous popular television series. In 1957 tragedy struck when his son Richard Jnr was diagnosed with leukaemia.

Red and Georgia took their son on a world tour but he sadly died at the age of10. It took a

long time for Red to return to working in his television show.

He was against "blue material" and always checked his guest's material before the show went to air. (I'm glad he never attended the Melbourne Comedy Festival) His traditional sign off at the end of each show was - "Good night and may God bless."

His television program was cancelled in 1971 after a 20-year run.

Red and Georgia divorced and he married Lothian Toland, who was 25years his junior, in 1973.

Red never got over the fact that Georgia committed suicide on the 18th anniversary of their son's death in 1976.

He turned down a role in the film The Sunshine Boys and played a series of very successful concerts at Carnegie Hall in the early 1980s.

He became a famous painter of clowns and his paintings became art treasures.

Red Skelton passed away of pneumonia in 1997 at the age of 84. He was dearly loved and was called ‘America's clown prince’.

- Kevin Trask The Time Tunnel - with Bruce & PhilSundays at 8.30pm on 3AW That's Entertainment 96.5FM Sundays at 12Noon 96.5FM is streaming on the internet.

To listen, go to www.innerfm.org.au and follow the prompts.

ANOTHER PLAGUE HITS THE CENTRE

■ Mother Nature often moves in mysterious ways.

In Darwin this week it's a dragon fly plague, signifying the precise end of the wet season, and into the dry.

Just as in southern Australia the Hepialid moth works on another premise - even though they've been growing, as larvae and pupae, in the branches and then roots of Gum trees for about 20 years, they know just the right time to emerge and burrow out as full grown moths into the world the first rainy night every Autumn.

And centipedes swarm in their thousands at Ayers Rock as soon as it rains.

On countless trips along the Newell Highway to Lightning Ridge I've encountered swarms of caterpillars, cockroaches, dragon flies, frogs, and myriads of moths and midges, all with a seeming singular purpose, totally unknown to me.

And more mysterious, ants always know when it's about to bucket down, long before us with our technology, and move all their nests to safe ground.

My dad was an avid entomologist, collecting moths attracted to our porch light in Kyabram for 10 years in my childhood.

One particular species he had never seen before, or since. Except for just one night, when there were about 10,000.

Mysterious indeed!

■ Even though I spent a lot of time in the Top End, I only ever saw a few wild buffaloes.

They're not as large as bulls, but are certainly stocky and ferociouslooking, and I could do without a confrontation.

Which often happens in the Territory. And did to a Nhulunbuy gentleman last week. The rogue bull spied him and lowered its horns and pawed the ground, but fortunately didn't charge.

Which reminded me of the Territory's most famous buffalo, Charlie, who starred with Paul Hogan.

After the movie had died down a little, my mate Ian Cobb, who owned a Barra and chips van beside the Adelaide River War Cemetery, decided that he'd be a worthy tourist attraction, and purchased him for $5000 from the zoo where he'd been residing.

So he had his own paddock and wallowing pool, and delighted many

The Outback Legend

with Nick Le Souef Lightning Ridge Opals 175 Flinders Lane, Melbourne Phone 9654 4444 www.opals.net.au an international visitor. Unfortunately he passed away from pneumonia at age 27, so Cobby had him stuffed and mounted, and he now resides in the Adelaide River pub.

While he was still wallowing about, backpackers would photograph each other sitting on his back, and his favourite food was carrot cake, which Coral, Cobby's wife, would prepare.

Charlie wasn't very ferocious!

■ Most Alice Springs pubs are well patronised at most times, not the least being my favoured, previously mentioned, Scotty's.

He boasted many and varied patrons: ringers and bushies and bikies and businessmen and blackfellas, and Pine Gap personnel , all taking full advantage of Alice's egalitarianism.

And plenty of tourists and backpackers.

But often during the day the place was burdened down with FIFO's.

These were chaps whose home was Alice Springs, but who worked at the Granites gold mine out in the Tanami Desert.

They would fly in to work 12 hour

shifts for two weeks, then fly out back home to Alice for a week.

They earned a tidy sum, often well in excess of an annual $100,000.

This has now spread to many other remote mining areas throughout Australia, but it has just surprisingly been revealed that a third of these highly paid workers leave in the first year.

They cite ‘draconian’ rules, a ‘prison camp’ mentality, and ‘demeaning’ regulations.

However it seems that the most unpopular regulation was the booze and drug tests for every worker, employee and boss, at the beginning of every shift.

Knowing some of the NT drinkers, that would be an issue!

■ It's recently been noted that Aboriginal art seems to be losing some of its investment gloss.

I'm surprised that it's lasted this long!

When I first moved to Coober Pedy in the early 90s it was just beginning to boom. Some local artists, such as Clifford Possum, were becoming famous, and prices for their works were soaring into the thousands, then the tens of thousands.

Radio couple Angie and Keith McGowan and I would often look over countless paintings in our wanderings around Alice Springs, but, although there was the odd exception, I never really warmed to this genre of artistic expression.

And as a local trader, artists and their ‘cousins’ would waft into the shop every day offering paintings for sale, till I reached the stage that I never wanted to see another dot in my life!

Over the years, some became internationally famous, and any and all their work sold for huge sums.

As they aged, even though their fame increased, their artistic talents seemed to wane a little, so I would see a few random squiggles and scrawls on a canvas for $30,000.

Didn't do much for me!

■ But what I do love, along with Keith and Angie, are the Namatjira-style watercolours.

I have never understood why they didn't catch the national imagination like, or instead of, the dots.

After all Albert was an Australian icon, and his unique style, which he initiated, is known and recognised Australia-wide, and I thought that this

scendants is not, even though it replicates the master's.

The exponents of this art form are called the Hermansburg School, where Albert lived and began painting.

I became very friendly with a few of these artists, and often purchased their works.

There is a father and son combination, Kevin and Elton Wirri, who are currently painting superb work, but my favourite was always Thomas Stephens.

He would quietly saunter into my shop several times a week, with his latest offering tucked under his arm.

He possessed such dignity and wisdom that I always loved his visits, and I am always reminded of my dear friend when I see his pure white ghost gums and the purple haze of the dis● Albert Namatjira tant Macdonnells smiling down from genre would take off in desirability my wall. and value, but this was not to be.

Whilst his originals are quite valu- Nick Le Souef able, the work of his disciples and de‘The Outback Legend’

From The Outer

Melbourne

Observer

kojak@ mmnet.com.au

With John Pasquarelli

■ A senior NSW policeman has finally called it the way it is about the shootings in Western Sydney that we now seem to accept as part of Australian life.

Like the illegals that keep arriving on our shores, the daily drive-by shootings tell us how much our country is changing and how much most of our MPs have let us down.

The policeman in a radio interview actually mentioned 'Muslims' and other ethnics when he was talking about the shootings and he said that the gunfire was all about drug deals and other criminal enterprises gone bad.

As I have said before, ethnic crime is 'the bastard child of multiculturalism' and all those who have bleated so much in defence of multiculturalism are now silent on its by-products such as guns, drugs, Asian prostitution and a host of other un-Australian activities.

Our immigration and citizenship laws are a joke and at naturalisation ceremonies, many of those who put their hands up are 'pretend' Australians who are simply here for what they can get out of their new homeland.

The Coalition must accept much of the blame for where we are today - first wooing the Greens then dashing off to grovel for the ethnic vote.

- John Pasquarelli: kojak@mmnet.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 25, 2012 - Page 21

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Melbourne

Observer

Travellers’ Good Buys

with David Ellis

Show me the road to go home ■ When the people of the little island of Saba in the Caribbean’s Netherlands Antilles asked authorities in the 1940s for a road to link their scattered farms and hamlets with their tiny port township, officials in The Hague agreed it appeared a reasonable enough request.

But once their team of engineers got there to assess the job, it didn’t take them long to realise that Saba was not just any old island.

It was a jumbled collection of high and rugged peaks that rose from suicidally tortuous valleys and craggy coastal cliffs, and certainly was not the kind of country you could build a road through – even if the whole island was just eight square kilometres in size.

So on their return to Holland the engineers sent word back to the Sabans: “Nee – a road is impossible.”

After digesting this reply, the entrepreneurial Sabans decided that if Holland’s top engineers reckoned they couldn’t do it, then they would build their road themselves. A 40-year old carpenter, Joseph Hassel was their main inspiration, and because he knew nothing of road making, enrolled himself in a five year course in the subject… by correspondence.

Then he and Saba’s just-1000 other residents planned out their road to villages, isolated farms and communities, and agreed unanimously that every able-bodied man, woman and

● Saba Island town and road

Observer Wines & Liqueurs Melbourne

with David Ellis

Rewards of an instant decision ■ Timk Adams isn’t a bloke who normally makes spur-of-the-moment decisions, but he did just that in 2008 and now he – and his many fans – are enjoying the rewards with an exceptional just-released 2008 Reserve Cabernet Malbec.

Tim says he was standing by the crusher at his Clare Valley winery when just a tonne and a half of Malbec fruit came in from his Sheoak Vineyard, fruit he says was an immediate stand-out, bursting with violet, mulberry and blueberry aromas, virtually black in colour and incredibly concentrated.

“We knew there was also some exceptional Cabernet coming in that afternoon from a neighbouring vineyard, and decided on the spot that the two would go just so well together, and ended up blending 60 per cent Cabernet Sauvignon with 40% Malbec – albeit just 2400 litres.

“Cabernet Malbec is very much a Clare specialty, one I first experienced at the Stanley Wine Company where the late Mick Knappstein created Leasingham Bin 56 Cabernet Malbec, that’s widely regarded as one of Australia’s greatest reds.”

Tim’s 2008 Cabernet Malbec has fresh blackcurrant, capsicum and violet flower aromas and flavours and will go marvellously with a hearty osso bucco; available in limited quantities online only through www.timadams wines.com.au at $35.

One For Lunch ■ Senior Winemaker at Rymill Coonawarra, Sandrine Gimon enjoys creating blends, wines she says that bring together the best attributes of each variety in a tasty, textured and full-flavoured drop – and with the bonus of the flavours of more than one variety to match differing food choice.

Her 2011 Rymill Coonawarra sbs is a lovely blend of Sauvignon Blanc and Semillon, one that has typical herbaceous, grassy and tropical fruit lushness with a zesty lemon finish and sweet spiciness; at $19.95 it’s one to really enjoy with Asian seafood or poultry dishes, or Italian pastas.

Pictured ■ A Clare Valley specialty, Cabernet Malbec to enjoy with osso bucco ■ Excellent match with Asian seafoods or Italian pastas

child would contribute set hours of voluntary road-work every week – armed with little more than picks, shovels, rakes, buckets and spades.

They took and extraordinary 25 years to build their concrete masterpiece – the road The Hague engineers said “was impossible.”

In most places the tortuous artery rises and falls at up to 35-degrees, and U-turns almost double back over themselves – so that from the sea or air it cuts a similar line to China’s Great Wall, and thus is dubbed The Great Road of Saba.

Nearly 50 years after it was opened, the road – that’s never been given an official name beyond The Road – links the little port of Fort Bay with its diesel power station, souvenir shop and a couple of dive shops, with The Bottom (the village at the base of the largest mountain,) picturesque Windwardside, Hell’s Gate and the airport.

Today there are still just 1600 people live here in delightful gingerbread houses that all have whitewashed walls, red tile roofs and green window shutters – enforced by law.

And old-timers will recall how, before The Road was built, to get from their wharf to their homes they used a series of ladders with over 900 steps from sea level to link with mountain walking tracks and trails to their farms, homes, shops and businesses.

Everything from groceries to furniture and farm goods was hauled-in (and out) via these ladders and tracks, including with the help of dozens of locals, a local musician’s full-size grand piano.

Saba gets around 25,000 visitors a year who either come by ferry, a few small cruise-ships, or by air… although you’ve need of a stout stomach if flying in: once again when told it would be impossible to build an airport on the island, the Sabans simply said “No” to “Nee,” carved the top off one of their hills, pushed it into the sea, and laid a runway across it.

The Sabans don’t encourage large cruise ships for fear of damaging their environment and being “over-run by gawkers,” and happily point out that, anyway, they’ve no beaches, no dutyfree shops, and virtually no transport beyond the few taxi-vans.

But they do have some of the Caribbean’s most spectacular diving, extraordinary scenery, quaint little stores selling hand-made souvenirs and exceptional lace goods, a museum in a 160-year old house, little cafés with wonderful island/Dutch cuisine including mouth-watering local lobsters and “Dutch Tea” (Heineken Beer) … and the opportunity to climb 1064 steps to take-in the kaleidoscopic vista from the highest peak.

There are also a few small hotels and guest houses – and if they’re all booked out, Saba Police Station’s two cells have never housed a prisoner so the entrepreneurial police officers have turned these into an emergency peak-season Bed and Breakfast.

See travel agents about Caribbean Island ferry services to Saba and small holiday vessels like the 112-passenger SeaDream I and SeaDream II (www.seadream.com) that visit as part of Caribbean itineraries from November to April.

Page 22 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 25, 2012

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Observer Readers’ Club 100 Years Ago - Friday, April 26, 1911 Coburg Leader ■ In reference to the report of a colli sion between a motor car and a jinker last week near the Deanery at Coburg and which resulted in a horse being injured and having tobedestrayed we furnished the report as obtained from the police.

We find out on inquiring that the driver of the motor car concerned was not Mr Drury Junior of Brunswick and that he was in no way connected with the occurrence.

The. bitterly cold weather which prevailed on Sunday and- Monday, precluded much enjoyment on the part of pleasure seekers.

Those who on Monday went in to see the Eight Hours' Procession had a bleak time of it, while those who sought recreation further afield in the shape of shooting or fishing expeditions, found the country .worse than the town.

The generally expressed anxiety lest por tion of the year should be notable for a drought, must be pretty well assuaged by now, and everything points to a good season.

There should be a feeling of universal satisfaction in Australia, that the ocean liners between here and the old-country and also South Africa, are not permitted to run the appalling risk .if trying to establish record passages reegardless of the safety of passengers and crew.

Icebergs are frequently to be met with in the persage across the Southern Ocean from the Cape, but the utmost precautions are always observed to give them a sufficiently wide berth, and the matter of arriving ia day or two later is considered quite a trifle compared with the possible risk of such a catastrophe as that ivhich befel the mammoth Titanic.

As to-the mail steamers via the Suez canal, they arrive as a rule with clock work regularity at Fremantle.

Melbourne Photo Flashback

Join in our chat IN PRINT: Read the Melbourne Observer every week.

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● Milk bottling line at Metropolitan Dairies, Preston, 1956

Just A Thought

Reader Recipes

FAX: 1-800 231 312 E-MAIL: editor@ melbourneobserver.com.au

■ Be proud of yourself and understand that its your individuality that makes you beautiful.

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And Remember

■ Spotted in Ascot Vale: “Stupdity got us into this mess - why can’t it get us out?”

■ Why compare yourself to others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you.

Word of the week

Trivia Challenge

■ Word of the week: Guerdon (noun, verb) reward or payment.

■ What word can mean both a set of slats and the name of a museum?

Answer: Louvre

THe Way We Were

Your Stars with Christina La Cross Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20) This week you get the chance to be involved in deals which last month you were locked out of. Your hard work and dedication has paid off, as you're about to find out.

Taurus (Apr 21 - May 21) You'd better start to think about what you want as the next few days see you being asked some very direct questions from close ones. Careful what you promise. You'll have to carry it out.

Gemini (May 22 - June 21) Revelations for you my friend, as your heart finally tells your head how you are feeling. You always were an all or nothing sign and we're about to see some major announcements from you.

Cancer (June 22 - July 23) Education and schooling are highlighted and if there is something you have wanted to go back to and brush up on then this is the time to start. Favours asked are worth doing today.

Leo (July 24 - Aug 23) Friends mean well when they give you advice but they don't really know the full details of what you've been going through. Bear this in mind when feeling pressured to cave in.

Virgo (Aug 24 - Sept 23) You want to sway a close one into doing what you want but trying to bulldoze them into your way of thinking is not going to get you anywhere. Listen, don't just talk for success.

Libra (Sept 24 - Oct 23) Don't be too quick to say no to the plans which close ones are suggesting. It would pay you well to try out their alternative. A predictable week isn't possible, so don't even try for one.

Scorpio (Oct 24 - Nov 22) Your stars show that you're feeling the need to go for a more independent path in work, but don't be too quick to detach yourself from those you've been working with. Interesting offers are around the corner.

Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 21) Be a little more careful about who you're talking to in business. You may not realize it but certain people could use what you share for their own gains. Keep your cards close to your chest.

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 20) What you think is only a temporary offer is actually a permanent one. Stop listening to those not involved and go to the source. You'll be in for a pleasant surprise if you do.

Aquarius (Jan 21 - Feb 19) Careful not to be too cheeky to those you deal with in business. You may think they've let their professional face drop, but the stars suggest otherwise. Friends cross your work path now.

Pisces (Feb 20 - March 20) Don't play games in love unless you want to get your fingers burnt. You'd be far better to blow off steam in your personal life where you have less chance of gambling with your income and reputation.

● Chocolate Crackles Ingredients 4 cups Kellogg's® Rice Bubbles® 1 cup icing sugar 1 cup desiccated coconut 250g copha, chopped 3 tbsp cocoa Method In a large bowl, mix the Kellogg's Rice Bubbles, icing sugar, cocoa & coconut.

Slowly melt the copha in a saucepan over a low heat.

Allow to cool slightly.

Add to Rice Bubbles mixture, stirring until well combined.

Spoon mixture into paper patty cases and refrigerate until firm.

Readers’ Letters ■ Wanted: Your memories! TNT Magazine in London is putting together a special issue on May 28 to mark its 1500th edition - an incredible milestone to reach. And we want your help!

We're calling on our readers - past and present - to send us their stories about the role TNT Magazine has played in their lives.

Launching in 1983, TNT Magazine was considered the traveller's bible for Australians and Kiwis visiting or living in London.

As well as collating stories from new arrivals - and those who have made the capital city their home - we want to get in touch with our readers who have now gone back to Australia, New Zealand and South Africa.

Maybe you picked up the first copy of TNT? Or maybe you met through our Desperately Seeking pages? Perhaps you attended one of our events?

We'd love to hear your anecdotes – big and small – and feature them in our special issue on May 28. After all, it's the loyalty of our readers we have to thank for our incredible longevity.

Email your stories to letters@tntmagazine. com with ‘1500th issue’ in the subject by May 11, 2012.

We look forward to reading them!

Carol Driver, Group Editor, TNT Magazine carol.driver@tntmagazine.com

Birthdays/Celebrations ■ Wednesday, April 25. Happy birthday to Rachel D Taylor of The Production Company.

Dancing With The Stars host Daniel McPherson blows out the candles today.

■ Thursday, April 26. Birthday greetings to John Hay-Mackenzie of The Production Company. Observer reader Jim Lockhart celebrates today. Former Victorian Premier John Cain is 81.

■ Friday, April 27. Entertainer Mark Holden is 57.

■ Saturday, April 28. Radio industry enthusiast Gavin Ryan is 42.

■ Sunday, April 29. Observer reader Trevor Hatterall of Patterson Lakes is 72.

■ Monday, April 30. Melbourne celebrity photographer Jim Lee celebrates today.

■ Tuesday, May 1. Happy birthday to Annette Allison. Voiceover man John Deeks is 61 today.

Cheerios ■ Suzanne of Docklands sends a cheerio to JP Bolton and Scott Dawkins.

● J P Bolton

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 25, 2012 - Page 23

Observer Classic Books

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www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Pride and Prejudice CHAPTER 35 - continued It was dated from Rosings, at eight o’clock in the morning, and was as follows:— “Be not alarmed, madam, on receiving this letter, by the apprehension of its containing any repetition of those sentiments or renewal of those offers which were last night so disgusting to you.

I write without any intention of paining you, or humbling myself, by dwelling on wishes which, for the happiness of both, cannot be too soon forgotten; and the effort which the formation and the perusal of this letter must occasion, should have been spared, had not my character required it to be written and read. You must, therefore, pardon the freedom with which I demand your attention; your feelings, I know, will bestow it unwillingly, but I demand it of your justice.

“Two offenses of a very different nature, and by no means of equal magnitude, you last night laid to my charge. The first mentioned was, that, regardless of the sentiments of either, I had detached Mr. Bingley from your sister, and the other, that I had, in defiance of various claims, in defiance of honour and humanity, ruined the immediate prosperity and blasted the prospects of Mr. Wickham. Wilfully and wantonly to have thrown off the companion of my youth, the acknowledged favourite of my father, a young man who had scarcely any other dependence than on our patronage, and who had been brought up to expect its exertion, would be a depravity, to which the separation of two young persons, whose affection could be the growth of only a few weeks, could bear no comparison. But from the severity of that blame which was last night so liberally bestowed, respecting each circumstance, I shall hope to be in the future secured, when the following account of my actions and their motives has been read. If, in the explanation of them, which is due to myself, I am under the necessity of relating feelings which may be offensive to yours, I can only say that I am sorry.

The necessity must be obeyed, and further apology would be absurd.

“I had not been long in Hertfordshire, before I saw, in common with others, that Bingley preferred your elder sister to any other young woman in the country. But it was not till the evening of the dance at Netherfield that I had any apprehension of his feeling a serious attachment. I had often seen him in love before. At that ball, while I had the honour of dancing with you, I was first made acquainted, by Sir William Lucas’s accidental information, that Bingley’s attentions to your sister had given rise to a general expectation of their marriage. He spoke of it as a certain event, of which the time alone could be undecided. From that moment I observed my friend’s behaviour attentively; and I could then perceive that his partiality for Miss Bennet was beyond what I had ever witnessed in him. Your sister I also watched. Her look and manners were open, cheerful, and engaging as ever, but without any symptom of peculiar regard, and I remained convinced from the evening’s scrutiny, that though she received his attentions with pleasure, she did not invite them by any participation of sentiment. If YOU have not been mistaken here, _I_ must have been in error. Your superior knowledge of your sister must make the latter probable. If it be so, if I have been misled by such error to inflict pain on her, your resentment has not been unreasonable. But I shall not scruple to assert, that the serenity of your sister’s countenance and air was such as might have given the most acute observer a conviction that, however amiable her temper, her heart was not likely to be easily touched. That I was desirous of believing her indifferent is certain — but I will venture to say that my investigation and decisions are not usually influenced by my hopes or fears. I did not believe her to be indifferent because I wished it; I believed it on impartial conviction, as truly as I wished it in reason. My objections to the marriage were not merely those which I last night acknowledged to have the utmost force of passion to put aside, in my own case; the want of connection could not be so great an evil to my friend as to me. But there were other causes of repugnance; causes which, though still existing, and existing to an equal degree in both instances,

● Jane Austen I had myself endeavoured to forget, because they were not immediately before me. These causes must be stated, though briefly. The situation of your mother’s family, though objectionable, was nothing in comparison to that total want of propriety so frequently, so almost uniformly betrayed by herself, by your three younger sisters, and occasionally even by your father. Pardon me. It pains me to offend you. But amidst your concern for the defects of your nearest relations, and your displeasure at this representation of them, let it give you consolation to consider that, to have conducted yourselves so as to avoid any share of the like censure, is praise no less generally bestowed on you and your elder sister, than it is honourable to the sense and disposition of both. I will only say farther that from what passed that evening, my opinion of all parties was confirmed, and every inducement heightened which could have led me before, to preserve my friend from what I esteemed a most unhappy connection. He left Netherfield for London, on the day following, as you, I am certain, remember, with the design of soon returning.

“The part which I acted is now to be explained.

His sisters’ uneasiness had been equally excited with my own; our coincidence of feeling was soon discovered, and, alike sensible that no time was to be lost in detaching their brother, we shortly resolved on joining him directly in London. We accordingly went — and there I readily engaged in the office of pointing out to my friend the certain evils of such a choice. I described, and enforced them earnestly. But, however this remonstrance might have staggered or delayed his determination, I do not suppose that it would ultimately have prevented the marriage, had it not been seconded by the assurance that I hesitated not in giving, of your sister’s indifference.

He had before believed her to return his affection with sincere, if not with equal regard. But Bingley has great natural modesty, with a stronger dependence on my judgement than on his own. To convince him, therefore, that he had

deceived himself, was no very difficult point.

To persuade him against returning into Hertfordshire, when that conviction had been given, was scarcely the work of a moment. I cannot blame myself for having done thus much.

There is but one part of my conduct in the whole affair on which I do not reflect with satisfaction; it is that I condescended to adopt the measures of art so far as to conceal from him your sister’s being in town. I knew it myself, as it was known to Miss Bingley; but her brother is even yet ignorant of it. That they might have met without ill consequence is perhaps probable; but his regard did not appear to me enough extinguished for him to see her without some danger. Perhaps this concealment, this disguise was beneath me; it is done, however, and it was done for the best.

On this subject I have nothing more to say, no other apology to offer. If I have wounded your sister’s feelings, it was unknowingly done and though the motives which governed me may to you very naturally appear insufficient, I have not yet learnt to condemn them.

“With respect to that other, more weighty accusation, of having injured Mr. Wickham, I can only refute it by laying before you the whole of his connection with my family. Of what he has PARTICULARLY accused me I am ignorant; but of the truth of what I shall relate, I can summon more than one witness of undoubted veracity.

“Mr. Wickham is the son of a very respectable man, who had for many years the management of all the Pemberley estates, and whose good conduct in the discharge of his trust naturally inclined my father to be of service to him; and on George Wickham, who was his godson, his kindness was therefore liberally bestowed. My father supported him at school, and afterwards at Cambridge — most important assistance, as his own father, always poor from the extravagance of his wife, would have been unable to give him a gentleman’s education. My father was not only fond of this young man’s society, whose manner were always engaging; he had

also the highest opinion of him, and hoping the church would be his profession, intended to provide for him in it. As for myself, it is many, many years since I first began to think of him in a very different manner. The vicious propensities — the want of principle, which he was careful to guard from the knowledge of his best friend, could not escape the observation of a young man of nearly the same age with himself, and who had opportunities of seeing him in unguarded moments, which Mr. Darcy could not have. Here again shall give you pain — to what degree you only can tell. But whatever may be the sentiments which Mr. Wickham has created, a suspicion of their nature shall not prevent me from unfolding his real character — it adds even another motive.

“My excellent father died about five years ago; and his attachment to Mr. Wickham was to the last so steady, that in his will he particularly recommended it to me, to promote his advancement in the best manner that his profession might allow — and if he took orders, desired that a valuable family living might be his as soon as it became vacant. There was also a legacy of one thousand pounds. His own father did not long survive mine, and within half a year from these events, Mr. Wickham wrote to inform me that, having finally resolved against taking orders, he hoped I should not think it unreasonable for him to expect some more immediate pecuniary advantage, in lieu of the preferment, by which he could not be benefited. He had some intention, he added, of studying law, and I must be aware that the interest of one thousand pounds would be a very insufficient support therein. I rather wished, than believed him to be sincere; but, at any rate, was perfectly ready to accede to his proposal. I knew that Mr. Wickham ought not to be a clergyman; the business was therefore soon settled — he resigned all claim to assistance in the church, were it possible that he could ever be in a situation to receive it, and accepted in return three thousand pounds. All connection between us seemed now dissolved. I thought too ill of him to invite him to Pemberley, or admit his society in town. In town I believe he chiefly lived, but his studying the law was a mere pretence, and being now free from all restraint, his life was a life of idleness and dissipation.

For about three years I heard little of him; but on the decease of the incumbent of the living which had been designed for him, he applied to me again by letter for the presentation. His circumstances, he assured me, and I had no difficulty in believing it, were exceedingly bad. He had found the law a most unprofitable study, and was now absolutely resolved on being ordained, if I would present him to the living in question — of which he trusted there could be little doubt, as he was well assured that I had no other person to provide for, and I could not have forgotten my revered father’s intentions. You will hardly blame me for refusing to comply with this entreaty, or for resisting every repetition to it. His resentment was in proportion to the distress of his circumstances — and he was doubtless as violent in his abuse of me to others as in his reproaches to myself. After this period every appearance of acquaintance was dropped. How he lived I know not. But last summer he was again most painfully obtruded on my notice.

“I must now mention a circumstance which I would wish to forget myself, and which no obligation less than the present should induce me to unfold to any human being. Having said thus much, I feel no doubt of your secrecy. My sister, who is more than ten years my junior, was left to the guardianship of my mother’s nephew, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and myself. About a year ago, she was taken from school, and an establishment formed for her in London; and last summer she went with the lady who presided over it, to Ramsgate; and thither also went Mr. Wickham, undoubtedly by design; for there proved to have been a prior acquaintance between him and Mrs. Younge, in whose character we were most unhappily deceived; and by her connivance and aid, he so far recommended himself to Georgiana, whose affectionate heart retained a strong impression of his kindness to her as a child, that she was persuaded to believe

Continued on Page 24

Page 23 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, April 25, 2012

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Observer Classic Books From Page 25 herself in love, and to consent to an elopement.

She was then but fifteen, which must be her excuse; and after stating her imprudence, I am happy to add, that I owed the knowledge of it to herself. I joined them unexpectedly a day or two before the intended elopement, and then Georgiana, unable to support the idea of grieving and offending a brother whom she almost looked up to as a father, acknowledged the whole to me. You may imagine what I felt and how I acted. Regard for my sister’s credit and feelings prevented any public exposure; but I wrote to Mr. Wickham, who left the place immediately, and Mrs. Younge was of course removed from her charge. Mr. Wickham’s chief object was unquestionably my sister’s fortune, which is thirty thousand pounds; but I cannot help supposing that the hope of revenging himself on me was a strong inducement. His revenge would have been complete indeed.

“This, madam, is a faithful narrative of every event in which we have been concerned together; and if you do not absolutely reject it as false, you will, I hope, acquit me henceforth of cruelty towards Mr. Wickham. I know not in what manner, under what form of falsehood he had imposed on you; but his success is not perhaps to be wondered at. Ignorant as you previously were of everything concerning either, detection could not be in your power, and suspicion certainly not in your inclination.

“You may possibly wonder why all this was not told you last night; but I was not then master enough of myself to know what could or ought to be revealed. For the truth of everything here related, I can appeal more particularly to the testimony of Colonel Fitzwilliam, who, from our near relationship and constant intimacy, and, still more, as one of the executors of my father’s will, has been unavoidably acquainted with every particular of these transactions. If your abhorrence of ME should make MY assertions valueless, you cannot be prevented by the same cause from confiding in my cousin; and that there may be the possibility of consulting him, I shall endeavour to find some opportunity of putting this letter in your hands in the course of the morning. I will only add, God bless you.

“FITZWILLIAM DARCY”

CHAPTER 36 If Elizabeth, when Mr. Darcy gave her the letter, did not expect it to contain a renewal of his offers, she had formed no expectation at all of its contents. But such as they were, it may well be supposed how eagerly she went through them, and what a contrariety of emotion they excited.

Her feelings as she read were scarcely to be defined. With amazement did she first understand that he believed any apology to be in his power; and steadfastly was she persuaded, that he could have no explanation to give, which a just sense of shame would not conceal. With a strong prejudice against everything he might say, she began his account of what had happened at Netherfield. She read with an eagerness which hardly left her power of comprehension, and from impatience of knowing what the next sentence might bring, was incapable of attending to the sense of the one before her eyes. His belief of her sister’s insensibility she instantly resolved to be false; and his account of the real, the worst objections to the match, made her too angry to have any wish of doing him justice. He expressed no regret for what he had done which satisfied her; his style was not penitent, but haughty. It was all pride and insolence.

But when this subject was succeeded by his account of Mr. Wickham — when she read with somewhat clearer attention a relation of events which, if true, must overthrow every cherished opinion of his worth, and which bore so alarming an affinity to his own history of himself — her feelings were yet more acutely painful and more difficult of definition. Astonishment, apprehension, and even horror, oppressed her. She wished to discredit it entirely, repeatedly exclaiming, “This must be false! This cannot be!

This must be the grossest falsehood!”— and when she had gone through the whole letter, though scarcely knowing anything of the last page or two, put it hastily away, protesting that she would not regard it, that she would never look in it again.

In this perturbed state of mind, with thoughts that could rest on nothing, she walked on; but it would not do; in half a minute the letter was unfolded again, and collecting herself as well as she could, she again began the mortifying

perusal of all that related to Wickham, and commanded herself so far as to examine the meaning of every sentence. The account of his connection with the Pemberley family was exactly what he had related himself; and the kindness of the late Mr. Darcy, though she had not before known its extent, agreed equally well with his own words. So far each recital confirmed the other; but when she came to the will, the difference was great. What Wickham had said of the living was fresh in her memory, and as she recalled his very words, it was impossible not to feel that there was gross duplicity on one side or the other; and, for a few moments, she flattered herself that her wishes did not err. But when she read and re-read with the closest attention, the particulars immediately following of Wickham’s resigning all pretensions to the living, of his receiving in lieu so considerable a sum as three thousand pounds, again was she forced to hesitate. She put down the letter, weighed every circumstance with what she meant to be impartiality — deliberated on the probability of each statement — but with little success. On both sides it was only assertion. Again she read on; but every line proved more clearly that the affair, which she had believed it impossible that any contrivance could so represent as to render Mr. Darcy’s conduct in it less than infamous, was capable of a turn which must make him entirely blameless throughout the whole.

The extravagance and general profligacy which he scrupled not to lay at Mr. Wickham’s charge, exceedingly shocked her; the more so, as she could bring no proof of its injustice. She had never heard of him before his entrance into the —— shire Militia, in which he had engaged at the persuasion of the young man who, on meeting him accidentally in town, had there renewed a slight acquaintance. Of his former way of life nothing had been known in Hertfordshire but what he told himself. As to his real character, had information been in her power, she had never felt a wish of inquiring. His countenance, voice, and manner had established him at once in the possession of every virtue. She tried to recollect some instance of goodness, some distinguished trait of integrity or benevolence, that might rescue him from the attacks of Mr. Darcy; or at least, by the predominance of virtue, atone for those casual errors under which she would endeavour to class what Mr. Darcy had described as the idleness and vice of many years’ continuance. But no such recollection befriended her. She could see him instantly before her, in every charm of air and address; but she could remember no more substantial good than the general approbation of the neighbourhood, and the regard which his social powers had gained him in the mess. After pausing on this point a considerable while, she once more continued to read. But, alas! the story which followed, of his designs on Miss Darcy, received some confirmation from what had passed between Colonel Fitzwilliam and herself only the morning before; and at last she was referred for the truth of every particular to Colonel Fitzwilliam himself — from whom she had previously received the information of his near concern in all his cousin’s affairs, and whose character she had no reason to question. At one time she had almost resolved on applying to him, but the idea was checked by the awkwardness of the application, and at length wholly banished by the conviction that Mr. Darcy would never have hazarded such a proposal, if he had not been well assured of his cousin’s corroboration.

She perfectly remembered everything that had passed in conversation between Wickham and herself, in their first evening at Mr. Phillips’s.

Many of his expressions were still fresh in her memory. She was NOW struck with the impropriety of such communications to a stranger, and wondered it had escaped her before. She saw the indelicacy of putting himself forward as he had done, and the inconsistency of his professions with his conduct. She remembered that he had boasted of having no fear of seeing Mr. Darcy — that Mr. Darcy might leave the country, but that HE should stand his ground; yet he had avoided the Netherfield ball the very next week. She remembered also that, till the Netherfield family had quitted the country, he had told his story to no one but herself; but that after their removal it had been everywhere discussed; that he had then no reserves, no scruples in sinking Mr. Darcy’s character, though he had assured her that respect for the father would always prevent his exposing the son.

How differently did everything now appear in

which he was concerned! His attentions to Miss King were now the consequence of views solely and hatefully mercenary; and the mediocrity of her fortune proved no longer the moderation of his wishes, but his eagerness to grasp at anything. His behaviour to herself could now have had no tolerable motive; he had either been deceived with regard to her fortune, or had been gratifying his vanity by encouraging the preference which she believed she had most incautiously shown. Every lingering struggle in his favour grew fainter and fainter; and in farther justification of Mr. Darcy, she could not but allow Mr. Bingley, when questioned by Jane, had long ago asserted his blamelessness in the affair; that proud and repulsive as were his manners, she had never, in the whole course of their acquaintance — an acquaintance which had latterly brought them much together, and given her a sort of intimacy with his ways — seen anything that betrayed him to be unprincipled or unjust — anything that spoke him of irreligious or immoral habits; that among his own connections he was esteemed and valued — that even Wickham had allowed him merit as a brother, and that she had often heard him speak so affectionately of his sister as to prove him capable of SOME amiable feeling; that had his actions been what Mr. Wickham represented them, so gross a violation of everything right could hardly have been concealed from the world; and that friendship between a person capable of it, and such an amiable man as Mr. Bingley, was incomprehensible.

She grew absolutely ashamed of herself. Of neither Darcy nor Wickham could she think without feeling she had been blind, partial, prejudiced, absurd.

“How despicably I have acted!” she cried; “I, who have prided myself on my discernment! I, who have valued myself on my abilities! who have often disdained the generous candour of my sister, and gratified my vanity in useless or blameable mistrust! How humiliating is this discovery! Yet, how just a humiliation! Had I been in love, I could not have been more wretchedly blind! But vanity, not love, has been my folly.

Pleased with the preference of one, and offended by the neglect of the other, on the very beginning of our acquaintance, I have courted prepossession and ignorance, and driven reason away, where either were concerned. Till this moment I never knew myself.”

From herself to Jane — from Jane to Bingley, her thoughts were in a line which soon brought to her recollection that Mr. Darcy’s explanation THERE had appeared very insufficient, and she read it again. Widely different was the effect of a second perusal. How could she deny that credit to his assertions in one instance, which she had been obliged to give in the other? He declared himself to be totally unsuspicious of her sister’s attachment; and she could not help remembering what Charlotte’s opinion had always been.

Neither could she deny the justice of his description of Jane. She felt that Jane’s feelings, though fervent, were little displayed, and that there was a constant complacency in her air and manner not often united with great sensibility.

When she came to that part of the letter in which her family were mentioned in terms of such mortifying, yet merited reproach, her sense of shame was severe. The justice of the charge struck her too forcibly for denial, and the circumstances to which he particularly alluded as having passed at the Netherfield ball, and as confirming all his first disapprobation, could not have made a stronger impression on his mind than on hers.

The compliment to herself and her sister was not unfelt. It soothed, but it could not console her for the contempt which had thus been self-attracted by the rest of her family; and as she considered that Jane’s disappointment had in fact been the work of her nearest relations, and reflected how materially the credit of both must be hurt by such impropriety of conduct, she felt depressed beyond anything she had ever known before.

After wandering along the lane for two hours, giving way to every variety of thought — reconsidering events, determining probabilities, and reconciling herself, as well as she could, to a change so sudden and so important, fatigue, and a recollection of her long absence, made her at length return home; and she entered the house with the wish of appearing cheerful as usual, and the resolution of repressing such reflections as must make her unfit for conversa-

tion.

She was immediately told that the two gentlemen from Rosings had each called during her absence; Mr. Darcy, only for a few minutes, to take leave — but that Colonel Fitzwilliam had been sitting with them at least an hour, hoping for her return, and almost resolving to walk after her till she could be found. Elizabeth could but just AFFECT concern in missing him; she really rejoiced at it. Colonel Fitzwilliam was no longer an object; she could think only of her letter.

CHAPTER 37

The two gentlemen left Rosings the next morning, and Mr. Collins having been in waiting near the lodges, to make them his parting obeisance, was able to bring home the pleasing intelligence, of their appearing in very good health, and in as tolerable spirits as could be expected, after the melancholy scene so lately gone through at Rosings. To Rosings he then hastened, to console Lady Catherine and her daughter; and on his return brought back, with great satisfaction, a message from her ladyship, importing that she felt herself so dull as to make her very desirous of having them all to dine with her.

Elizabeth could not see Lady Catherine without recollecting that, had she chosen it, she might by this time have been presented to her as her future niece; nor could she think, without a smile, of what her ladyship’s indignation would have been. “What would she have said? how would she have behaved?” were questions with which she amused herself.

Their first subject was the diminution of the Rosings party. “I assure you, I feel it exceedingly,” said Lady Catherine; “I believe no one feels the loss of friends so much as I do. But I am particularly attached to these young men, and know them to be so much attached to me!

They were excessively sorry to go! But so they always are. The dear Colonel rallied his spirits tolerably till just at last; but Darcy seemed to feel it most acutely, more, I think, than last year.

His attachment to Rosings certainly increases.”

Mr. Collins had a compliment, and an allusion to throw in here, which were kindly smiled on by the mother and daughter.

Lady Catherine observed, after dinner, that Miss Bennet seemed out of spirits, and immediately accounting for it by herself, by supposing that she did not like to go home again so soon, she added: “But if that is the case, you must write to your mother and beg that you may stay a little longer.

Mrs. Collins will be very glad of your company, I am sure.”

“I am much obliged to your ladyship for your kind invitation,” replied Elizabeth, “but it is not in my power to accept it. I must be in town next Saturday.”

“Why, at that rate, you will have been here only six weeks. I expected you to stay two months. I told Mrs. Collins so before you came. There can be no occasion for your going so soon. Mrs. Bennet could certainly spare you for another fortnight.”

“But my father cannot. He wrote last week to hurry my return.”

“Oh! your father of course may spare you, if your mother can. Daughters are never of so much consequence to a father. And if you will stay another MONTH complete, it will be in my power to take one of you as far as London, for I am going there early in June, for a week; and as Dawson does not object to the barouche-box, there will be very good room for one of you — and indeed, if the weather should happen to be cool, I should not object to taking you both, as you are neither of you large.”

“You are all kindness, madam; but I believe we must abide by our original plan.”

Lady Catherine seemed resigned. “Mrs. Collins, you must send a servant with them. You know I always speak my mind, and I cannot bear the idea of two young women travelling post by themselves. It is highly improper. You must contrive to send somebody. I have the greatest dislike in the world to that sort of thing. Young women should always be properly guarded and attended, according to their situation in life. When my niece Georgiana went to Ramsgate last summer, I made a point of her having two menservants go with her. Miss Darcy, the daughter of Mr. Darcy, of Pemberley, and Lady Anne, could not have appeared with propriety in a different manner. I am excessively attentive to all those things. You must send John with the young - Continued on Page 33

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Observer Classic Books From Page 25 ladies, Mrs. Collins. I am glad it occurred to me to mention it; for it would really be discreditable to YOU to let them go alone.”

“My uncle is to send a servant for us.”

“Oh! Your uncle! He keeps a man-servant, does he? I am very glad you have somebody who thinks of these things. Where shall you change horses? Oh! Bromley, of course. If you mention my name at the Bell, you will be attended to.”

Lady Catherine had many other questions to ask respecting their journey, and as she did not answer them all herself, attention was necessary, which Elizabeth believed to be lucky for her; or, with a mind so occupied, she might have forgotten where she was. Reflection must be reserved for solitary hours; whenever she was alone, she gave way to it as the greatest relief; and not a day went by without a solitary walk, in which she might indulge in all the delight of unpleasant recollections.

Mr. Darcy’s letter she was in a fair way of soon knowing by heart. She studied every sentence; and her feelings towards its writer were at times widely different. When she remembered the style of his address, she was still full of indignation; but when she considered how unjustly she had condemned and upbraided him, her anger was turned against herself; and his disappointed feelings became the object of compassion. His attachment excited gratitude, his general character respect; but she could not approve him; nor could she for a moment repent her refusal, or feel the slightest inclination ever to see him again.

In her own past behaviour, there was a constant source of vexation and regret; and in the unhappy defects of her family, a subject of yet heavier chagrin. They were hopeless of remedy. Her father, contented with laughing at them, would never exert himself to restrain the wild giddiness of his youngest daughters; and her mother, with manners so far from right herself, was entirely insensible of the evil. Elizabeth had frequently united with Jane in an endeavour to check the imprudence of Catherine and Lydia; but while they were supported by their mother’s indulgence, what chance could there be of improvement? Catherine, weak-spirited, irritable, and completely under Lydia’s guidance, had been always affronted by their advice; and Lydia, self-willed and careless, would scarcely give them a hearing. They were ignorant, idle, and vain. While there was an officer in Meryton, they would flirt with him; and while Meryton was within a walk of Longbourn, they would be going there forever.

Anxiety on Jane’s behalf was another prevailing concern; and Mr. Darcy’s explanation, by restoring Bingley to all her former good opinion, heightened the sense of what Jane had lost. His affection was proved to have been sincere, and his conduct cleared of all blame, unless any could attach to the implicitness of his confidence in his friend. How grievous then was the thought that, of a situation so desirable in every respect, so replete with advantage, so promising for happiness, Jane had been deprived, by the folly and indecorum of her own family!

When to these recollections was added the development of Wickham’s character, it may be easily believed that the happy spirits which had seldom been depressed before, were now so much affected as to make it almost impossible for her to appear tolerably cheerful.

Their engagements at Rosings were as frequent during the last week of her stay as they had been at first. The very last evening was spent there; and her ladyship again inquired minutely into the particulars of their journey, gave them directions as to the best method of packing, and was so urgent on the necessity of placing gowns in the only right way, that Maria thought herself obliged, on her return, to undo all the work of the morning, and pack her trunk afresh.

When they parted, Lady Catherine, with great condescension, wished them a good journey, and invited them to come to Hunsford again next year; and Miss de Bourgh exerted herself so far as to curtsey and hold out her hand to both.

CHAPTER 38 On Saturday morning Elizabeth and Mr. Collins met for breakfast a few minutes before the others appeared; and he took the opportunity of paying the parting civilities which he deemed indispensably necessary.

“I know not, Miss Elizabeth,” said he, “whether Mrs. Collins has yet expressed her sense of your kindness in coming to us; but I am very certain you will not leave the house without receiving

her thanks for it. The favor of your company has been much felt, I assure you. We know how little there is to tempt anyone to our humble abode. Our plain manner of living, our small rooms and few domestics, and the little we see of the world, must make Hunsford extremely dull to a young lady like yourself; but I hope you will believe us grateful for the condescension, and that we have done everything in our power to prevent your spending your time unpleasantly.”

Elizabeth was eager with her thanks and assurances of happiness. She had spent six weeks with great enjoyment; and the pleasure of being with Charlotte, and the kind attentions she had received, must make HER feel the obliged. Mr. Collins was gratified, and with a more smiling solemnity replied: “It gives me great pleasure to hear that you have passed your time not disagreeably. We have certainly done our best; and most fortunately having it in our power to introduce you to very superior society, and, from our connection with Rosings, the frequent means of varying the humble home scene, I think we may flatter ourselves that your Hunsford visit cannot have been entirely irksome. Our situation with regard to Lady Catherine’s family is indeed the sort of extraordinary advantage and blessing which few can boast. You see on what a footing we are.

You see how continually we are engaged there.

In truth I must acknowledge that, with all the disadvantages of this humble parsonage, I should not think anyone abiding in it an object of compassion, while they are sharers of our intimacy at Rosings.”

Words were insufficient for the elevation of his feelings; and he was obliged to walk about the room, while Elizabeth tried to unite civility and truth in a few short sentences.

“You may, in fact, carry a very favourable report of us into Hertfordshire, my dear cousin. I flatter myself at least that you will be able to do so. Lady Catherine’s great attentions to Mrs. Collins you have been a daily witness of; and altogether I trust it does not appear that your friend has drawn an unfortunate — but on this point it will be as well to be silent. Only let me assure you, my dear Miss Elizabeth, that I can from my heart most cordially wish you equal felicity in marriage. My dear Charlotte and I have but one mind and one way of thinking.

There is in everything a most remarkable resemblance of character and ideas between us.

We seem to have been designed for each other.”

Elizabeth could safely say that it was a great happiness where that was the case, and with equal sincerity could add, that she firmly believed and rejoiced in his domestic comforts.

She was not sorry, however, to have the recital of them interrupted by the lady from whom they sprang. Poor Charlotte! it was melancholy to leave her to such society! But she had chosen it with her eyes open; and though evidently regretting that her visitors were to go, she did not seem to ask for compassion. Her home and her housekeeping, her parish and her poultry, and all their dependent concerns, had not yet lost their charms.

At length the chaise arrived, the trunks were fastened on, the parcels placed within, and it was pronounced to be ready. After an affectionate parting between the friends, Elizabeth was attended to the carriage by Mr. Collins, and as they walked down the garden he was commissioning her with his best respects to all her family, not forgetting his thanks for the kindness he had received at Longbourn in the winter, and his compliments to Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, though unknown. He then handed her in, Maria followed, and the door was on the point of being closed, when he suddenly reminded them, with some consternation, that they had hitherto forgotten to leave any message for the ladies at Rosings.

“But,” he added, “you will of course wish to have your humble respects delivered to them, with your grateful thanks for their kindness to you while you have been here.”

Elizabeth made no objection; the door was then allowed to be shut, and the carriage drove off.

“Good gracious!” cried Maria, after a few minutes’ silence, “it seems but a day or two since we first came! and yet how many things have happened!”

“A great many indeed,” said her companion with a sigh.

“We have dined nine times at Rosings, besides drinking tea there twice! How much I shall have to tell!”

Elizabeth added privately, “And how much I shall have to conceal!”

Their journey was performed without much conversation, or any alarm; and within four hours of their leaving Hunsford they reached Mr. Gardiner’s house, where they were to remain a few days.

Jane looked well, and Elizabeth had little opportunity of studying her spirits, amidst the various engagements which the kindness of her aunt had reserved for them. But Jane was to go home with her, and at Longbourn there would be leisure enough for observation.

It was not without an effort, meanwhile, that she could wait even for Longbourn, before she told her sister of Mr. Darcy’s proposals. To know that she had the power of revealing what would so exceedingly astonish Jane, and must, at the same time, so highly gratify whatever of her own vanity she had not yet been able to reason away, was such a temptation to openness as nothing could have conquered but the state of indecision in which she remained as to the extent of what she should communicate; and her fear, if she once entered on the subject, of being hurried into repeating something of Bingley which might only grieve her sister further.

CHAPTER 39 It was the second week in May, in which the three young ladies set out together from Gracechurch Street for the town of — — in Hertfordshire; and, as they drew near the appointed inn where Mr. Bennet’s carriage was to meet them, they quickly perceived, in token of the coachman’s punctuality, both Kitty and Lydia looking out of a dining-room upstairs. These two girls had been above an hour in the place, happily employed in visiting an opposite milliner, watching the sentinel on guard, and dressing a salad and cucumber.

After welcoming their sisters, they triumphantly displayed a table set out with such cold meat as an inn larder usually affords, exclaiming, “Is not this nice? Is not this an agreeable surprise?”

“And we mean to treat you all,” added Lydia, “but you must lend us the money, for we have just spent ours at the shop out there.” Then, showing her purchases —”Look here, I have bought this bonnet. I do not think it is very pretty; but I thought I might as well buy it as not. I shall pull it to pieces as soon as I get home, and see if I can make it up any better.”

And when her sisters abused it as ugly, she added, with perfect unconcern, “Oh! but there were two or three much uglier in the shop; and when I have bought some prettier-coloured satin to trim it with fresh, I think it will be very tolerable. Besides, it will not much signify what one wears this summer, after the —— shire have left Meryton, and they are going in a fortnight.”

“Are they indeed!” cried Elizabeth, with the greatest satisfaction.

“They are going to be encamped near Brighton; and I do so want papa to take us all there for the summer! It would be such a delicious scheme; and I dare say would hardly cost anything at all.

Mamma would like to go too of all things! Only think what a miserable summer else we shall have!”

“Yes,” thought Elizabeth, “THAT would be a delightful scheme indeed, and completely do for us at once. Good Heaven! Brighton, and a whole campful of soldiers, to us, who have been overset already by one poor regiment of militia, and the monthly balls of Meryton!”

“Now I have got some news for you,” said Lydia, as they sat down at table. “What do you think? It is excellent news — capital news — and about a certain person we all like!”

Jane and Elizabeth looked at each other, and the waiter was told he need not stay. Lydia laughed, and said: “Aye, that is just like your formality and discretion. You thought the waiter must not hear, as if he cared! I dare say he often hears worse things said than I am going to say. But he is an ugly fellow! I am glad he is gone. I never saw such a long chin in my life. Well, but now for my news; it is about dear Wickham; too good for the waiter, is it not? There is no danger of Wickham’s marrying Mary King. There’s for you! She is gone down to her uncle at Liverpool: gone to stay.

Wickham is safe.”

“And Mary King is safe!” added Elizabeth; “safe from a connection imprudent as to fortune.”

“She is a great fool for going away, if she liked him.”

“But I hope there is no strong attachment on either side,” said Jane.

“I am sure there is not on HIS. I will answer for it, he never cared three straws about her — who could about such a nasty little freckled thing?”

Elizabeth was shocked to think that, however incapable of such coarseness of EXPRESSION herself, the coarseness of the SENTIMENT was little other than her own breast had harboured and fancied liberal!

As soon as all had ate, and the elder ones paid, the carriage was ordered; and after some contrivance, the whole party, with all their boxes, work-bags, and parcels, and the unwelcome addition of Kitty’s and Lydia’s purchases, were seated in it.

“How nicely we are all crammed in,” cried Lydia. “I am glad I bought my bonnet, if it is only for the fun of having another bandbox! Well, now let us be quite comfortable and snug, and talk and laugh all the way home. And in the first place, let us hear what has happened to you all since you went away. Have you seen any pleasant men? Have you had any flirting? I was in great hopes that one of you would have got a husband before you came back. Jane will be quite an old maid soon, I declare. She is almost three-and-twenty! Lord, how ashamed I should be of not being married before three-and-twenty!

My aunt Phillips wants you so to get husbands, you can’t think. She says Lizzy had better have taken Mr. Collins; but _I_ do not think there would have been any fun in it. Lord! how I should like to be married before any of you; and then I would chaperon you about to all the balls. Dear me! we had such a good piece of fun the other day at Colonel Forster’s. Kitty and me were to spend the day there, and Mrs. Forster promised to have a little dance in the evening; (by the bye, Mrs. Forster and me are SUCH friends!) and so she asked the two Harringtons to come, but Harriet was ill, and so Pen was forced to come by herself; and then, what do you think we did?

We dressed up Chamberlayne in woman’s clothes on purpose to pass for a lady, only think what fun! Not a soul knew of it, but Colonel and Mrs. Forster, and Kitty and me, except my aunt, for we were forced to borrow one of her gowns; and you cannot imagine how well he looked!

When Denny, and Wickham, and Pratt, and two or three more of the men came in, they did not know him in the least. Lord! how I laughed! and so did Mrs. Forster. I thought I should have died.

And THAT made the men suspect something, and then they soon found out what was the matter.”

With such kinds of histories of their parties and good jokes, did Lydia, assisted by Kitty’s hints and additions, endeavour to amuse her companions all the way to Longbourn. Elizabeth listened as little as she could, but there was no escaping the frequent mention of Wickham’s name.

Their reception at home was most kind. Mrs. Bennet rejoiced to see Jane in undiminished beauty; and more than once during dinner did Mr. Bennet say voluntarily to Elizabeth: “I am glad you are come back, Lizzy.”

Their party in the dining-room was large, for almost all the Lucases came to meet Maria and hear the news; and various were the subjects that occupied them: Lady Lucas was inquiring of Maria, after the welfare and poultry of her eldest daughter; Mrs. Bennet was doubly engaged, on one hand collecting an account of the present fashions from Jane, who sat some way below her, and, on the other, retailing them all to the younger Lucases; and Lydia, in a voice rather louder than any other person’s, was enumerating the various pleasures of the morning to anybody who would hear her.

“Oh! Mary,” said she, “I wish you had gone with us, for we had such fun! As we went along, Kitty and I drew up the blinds, and pretended there was nobody in the coach; and I should have gone so all the way, if Kitty had not been sick; and when we got to the George, I do think we behaved very handsomely, for we treated the other three with the nicest cold luncheon in the world, and if you would have gone, we would have treated you too. And then when we came away it was such fun! I thought we never should have got into the coach. I was ready to die of laughter. And then we were so merry all the way home! we talked and laughed so loud, that anybody might have heard us ten miles off!”

To this Mary very gravely replied, “Far be it from me, my dear sister, to depreciate such pleasures! They would doubtless be congenial with the generality of female minds. But I confess they would have no charms for ME— I should infinitely prefer a book.”

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Observer Classic Books From Page 30 Observer Crossword Solution No 13 But of this answer Lydia heard not a word. She D OWD I N O A M U R P R POP U L A R GY P P A L L S L L OY D U A R I MA N I A C B S P E E CHOE D R A R A R I S E K G A S I G DR I P S I A MA N S I O U I D MUCH D B K A I S OU S T A N C N POS H D U C E R E N MOA T A L D S A DD E S I Y AMOK H S E D I E T AM I S S O B I DR A I N S D R N A NUGGE T E O R E S H E D S SOSO S H MA I MOD E S T A I P U E R V Y E A RN I

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S E D I SON N I L E H O A O F GOOD P I P E W O T E R S E F RC S P RO F H ROS S T E D R T I D E B T OR L A I N CR I T I C L O N S H I E S A U L R I L I S A I COS T UME S E O D P S T R E AM I N T A N S E NN Y MON R E E Y E D G S ME A L E T GO N C E E ROD C A R T A R T D B E E V E A U L D A DD Y E DG N R T Y DR AMA T I S A U C N L EGG I NGS I H A T E N S E T S V I E N E EMP D E S I R E S X N I MAGGO T I EM N HO T SOHO R A B M I L L L OR E N I A S I A D B Y L I V E L Y E X E S R A S R E A SON

B G L OS S Y V A R Y P MA N RU P E E S D A O A S L I N T SOR E I T E E R E D R S W I DO L B E T A N U R O O GORGE N I NGS E N UN S A F P S H A P E B T M S NO R AQ I T E E N L D E S E R T I L K V R H G NO I S I N E N E E D E G O EWE R MO B B C N E RO L A S T I L YMP H M I L A I MP I A V E N O F F A F P E A S I F B I ME T E E GR A S DO CUR Z M V T A T ON EME S AM N R R M E S P R E S OB L Y H Y D E L R A GE T I N E S S A N P E A R L AGA R A O F R N I CO L F FMA N U L A I E A RN I ME T R E S Y R I S H R E C A M A O OP I WA S HU P RCD E O P E S DU L L E D

S T OC K A D E S L L P I A E ON E A L M E A P R I NGE R S S MA R S H I I CO S E A CH D N ME L E E EMOR S E B L S R N A P A L M K A P U T T E E I GA RR E T ME L D X O S UN R E U S E GAME S E R ONC E F OM I T MA AM S S S M W S T I D Y I NG D EM N N R A DO G MA R E U NORMA N E N O E ME A D T I L E D M L L I I O I L S E TWE E T S W SOH N H A V E S E S T A A S U S E DC A R N T R I I ROB S MA D E SO A L OE S GE N E S R E WA T CH ON E S S R F Y I MA D AME I NN E R M R E S NUMB E R U S T F U L L E R E E J E C T OG I S OR E S P N A P P Y N E C P U L S A T E HORD E U L T E I A R M F I L MS T A R S

I NG C N L E A T A E T E NON R S R A H E A P A T C K L E S I S T V E D Y S R E E T N A OMA J A R G E T E R A T H O N E NU S A N B S I D E T C L F E R S C R I C K E A L I N T D I E S T RU E E P R M I G A R I R S S T A E T I D N E E YOGA V T I D E S R R F I T A T E S L M L E A K E S L I P ME S I GO S C P I E S S E S

A R E E R G T A P X H Y E N A ROP H Y N ME O O M E E N T S E A V E S H E A DMA S T E GOD S O T C R P R E F E R S E NCH B E T A N A EM I A V E A L L S E S T OW AW A Y N C O S M OGO HO T U P M I T E S I S H V M NCO E ME R A T E WH I S N WO N F E MA R S E K E F OO T MA D R F B E N E U S S I F I I N A P T C L I P A L I B I P E T T Y E SO Y A OS S NOE L R I B T T D I OR AWA C V I OC N R A T I ON CUD F E GOO I F F E R S P UN E E R MA U L S D O O L E U D I GR E S S E P P E D N S I N S T E P S A S CO E X E M T E N S I ON M I N I I L C T A CHOME T E GH T B R A S S H K O Y E OD I UM D T O S N B R A T S T AGE S Y E F

N U N N E R Y E A S T I R R D O R M I T O R Y G C L O S E B A R M R E S T

D EM MA T I S T H A S E S D S T E H S T E R L A D L L A CON EWD L R L PO S L F L L L I A CH K R E A R E E D I H L E L L L U L E S ON E A D C X T E O B I N O S S H S M A R I I D I NG GE POS

H A R B I NG Z E U M A ME CC A L I S H AGGA S N EWE R O T E S OA B A OW L A I R I E R L R N N I MB S E R I F L S S D I L A P A S T C C Y S R E E K T U B A S E R R I ND OW E D Y E O L E E O D AWD L AGS B E G YM R K E N A R A B I C O L C T H S A L S A C T A D H A I R E A D E R C AM B N I S C S R E A MA J E S E D E L E D AM L E AM NOS E I N T O J Z E N A V A I S P Y D Z T R AMA Z CORG I I G M OR A N E E P AGE G N T ROU I L E A OP A R A NU P L Y MOB S T A L ON E A RM U N X S HR E DD I

CHAPTER 40 Elizabeth’s impatience to acquaint Jane with what had happened could no longer be overcome; and at length, resolving to suppress every particular in which her sister was concerned, and preparing her to be surprised, she related to her the next morning the chief of the scene between Mr. Darcy and herself.

Miss Bennet’s astonishment was soon lessened by the strong sisterly partiality which made any admiration of Elizabeth appear perfectly natural; and all surprise was shortly lost in other feelings. She was sorry that Mr. Darcy should have delivered his sentiments in a manner so little suited to recommend them; but still more was she grieved for the unhappiness which her sister’s refusal must have given him.

“His being so sure of succeeding was wrong,” said she, “and certainly ought not to have appeared; but consider how much it must increase his disappointment!”

“Indeed,” replied Elizabeth, “I am heartily sorry for him; but he has other feelings, which will probably soon drive away his regard for me-.

Melbourne

Observer Crossword Solution No 16 MA R K E T A E L I P V I M I S S I V R T S A MA N E N I N E P T N W H A N I C K E L O A R A W I S H E S S T I E L A ND E A A M I M F R A U P E T C A S T E R U E E F S A V E H E NGU Y A RD R K P B MA I L I R A I S A H POK Y L E E E NDOR S A R DR AG S K Y A K A Y AMP L E S U O P U S H I N I T I O RUNN E R R G RO A T L A S N A Y S S C I S L WO R S H I A O AM A W R MOR A L I

seldom listened to anybody for more than half a minute, and never attended to Mary at all.

In the afternoon Lydia was urgent with the rest of the girls to walk to Meryton, and to see how everybody went on; but Elizabeth steadily opposed the scheme. It should not be said that the Miss Bennets could not be at home half a day before they were in pursuit of the officers. There was another reason too for her opposition. She dreaded seeing Mr. Wickham again, and was resolved to avoid it as long as possible. The comfort to HER of the regiment’s approaching removal was indeed beyond expression. In a fortnight they were to go — and once gone, she hoped there could be nothing more to plague her on his account.

She had not been many hours at home before she found that the Brighton scheme, of which Lydia had given them a hint at the inn, was under frequent discussion between her parents.

Elizabeth saw directly that her father had not the smallest intention of yielding; but his answers were at the same time so vague and equivocal, that her mother, though often disheartened, had never yet despaired of succeeding at last.

You do not blame me, however, for refusing him?”

“Blame you! Oh, no.”

“But you blame me for having spoken so warmly of Wickham?”

“No — I do not know that you were wrong in saying what you did.”

“But you WILL know it, when I tell you what happened the very next day.”

She then spoke of the letter, repeating the whole of its contents as far as they concerned George Wickham. What a stroke was this for poor Jane! who would willingly have gone through the world without believing that so much wickedness existed in the whole race of mankind, as was here collected in one individual. Nor was Darcy’s vindication, though grateful to her feelings, capable of consoling her for such discovery. Most earnestly did she labour to prove the probability of error, and seek to clear the one without involving the other.

“This will not do,” said Elizabeth; “you never will be able to make both of them good for anything. Take your choice, but you must be satisfied with only one. There is but such a quantity of merit between them; just enough to make one good sort of man; and of late it has been shifting about pretty much. For my part, I am inclined to believe it all Darcy’s; but you shall do as you choose.”

It was some time, however, before a smile could be extorted from Jane.

“I do not know when I have been more shocked,” said she. “Wickham so very bad! It is almost past belief. And poor Mr. Darcy! Dear Lizzy, only consider what he must have suffered. Such a disappointment! and with the knowledge of your ill opinion, too! and having to relate such a thing of his sister! It is really too distressing. I am sure you must feel it so.”

“Oh! no, my regret and compassion are all done away by seeing you so full of both. I know you will do him such ample justice, that I am growing every moment more unconcerned and indifferent. Your profusion makes me saving; and if you lament over him much longer, my heart will be as light as a feather.”

“Poor Wickham! there is such an expression of goodness in his countenance! such an openness and gentleness in his manner!”

“There certainly was some great mismanage ment in the education of those two young men.

One has got all the goodness, and the other all the appearance of it.”

To Be Continued Next Issue

E R O A RD I F S E T E L E P T E D S G L P E E D E P T A A T I L E M N E R T Y R A D Y L

A E S C GE N ND U S D E R A N NG

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