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WEDNESDAY, MARCH 26, 2014

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ISSN 1447 4611

S TATE EDITION Vol 46 No 1550 SERVING VICTORIA SINCE 1969

See our ad, Page 23 ‘Trader’

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THE GREA T GREAT MUSIC OF THE ‘30s T O ‘60s TO Streaming through the Web PHONE: 9572 146 6 1466

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PHONE 0418 883 335 See Observer Trader P9 Grosvenor in Cairns Holiday Apartments

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■ Alan Fletcher and Jackie Woodbourne (right) welcome Paula Abdul (centre) to the Neighbours set. Paula plays the role of Dr Karl Kennedy’s fantasy in the episode which goes to air in June.

MERIMBULA, NSW 2014 VACANCIES AVAILABLE

Details of 2014 packages on Page 2

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AFL TEAM FOR TASMANIA To AFL Commission, Commis ommission, To AFL C ommis sion, take notice

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AND CONTRACTORS Manufacturers and distributors of an extensive range of tillage equipment and components Phone: (07) 4633 0624 Mobile: 0422 399 544 www.tilco.com.au barry@tilco.com. au Turn to Page 14 of ‘Observer Trader’ section

See ad on Page 20 ‘Trader’

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Page 2 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 26, 2014

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Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 26, 2014 - Page 3

Page 4 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 26, 2014

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PHOTO: IKON IMAGES

Mark Richardson Comedy Porch Thoughts

♥ Straight from the heart

E-Mail: mark@localmedia.com.au

Laugh until it hurts

● Urizila Carlson (NZ): The Long Flight To Freedom 1. I have a new show never heard in Australia, it's funny and at one point I talk about candles, it's as far as I'm aware a completely untapped comedy source!

2. I'm getting a brand new haircut, I'm going a little shorter, maybe 1cm shorter, now you know so come and check it out.

3. I don't pick on my audience, so if you live in fear about going to a comedy show because you are petrified to be picked on then come to mine, plus the hair and the candle that should be more than enough reason to flock to my show!

● Damian Callinan (AUS): The Lost WW1 Diary of Private Paddy Callinan 1.To do the right thing by your King & Country.

2.If you lie about your age, you get in for free.

3.Anyone who doesn't see this show gets sent a white feather.

■ We are about to receive the biggest and the best dose of medicine that money can buy over the counter - or via online ticketing agents.

As we get set to embrace our annual three weeks-and-a-bit of hilarious entertainment, I realised whilst talking with friends and colleagues, there simply is no hope (or want) to be cured; we are hooked on sidesplitting laughter and ready for another bought. Bring it on!

This year, the Melbourne International Comedy Festival will showcase more than 478 shows including 220 Australian premieres that will be performed in more than 100 venues across our city - that equates to a staggering 6500 performances with the highest amount of performances in one day being 358.

Event categories this year include; Stand-Up, Theatre, Cabaret, Kids' Comedy, Special Events, OneOffs, Music and Film with 90 shows featuring overseas artists from Canada, France, Germany, Greece, Ireland, Japan, New Zealand, South Africa, South Korea, UK and the USA. Australia's most impressive comics will also grace Melbourne's stages. They include: Joel Creasey, Hannah Gadsby, Wil Anderson, Pete Helliar, Cal Wilson, Denise Scott, Matt Okine, Dave Hughes, Kate McLennan and Felicity Ward.

An annual hit of the Festival will be the 24 special events including The (Very) Big Laugh Out, the Festival's free outdoor program funded by the Victorian Government, returning to Federation Square and City Square featuring talented and international acts.

Others special events will include Comedy Club For Kids, Upfront, Raw Comedy, ClassClowns, Deadly Funny, Hannah Gadsby's NGVArt Lecture Series and new to this year, Double Up, Capitol Classics Laughter Lunchbox and the Comedy ConFAB. With the Festival's smorgasbord of comedy shows from all over the world, I cashed in my annual sick days (cough, cough, splutter…it's no laughing matter) and connected with some local and international comedians on their Comedy Porches, boldly asking the question, 'What are three reasons why we should we come and see your show?"

● Milton Jones (UK): Australian Solo Premiere 1: It’s stupid and defies logic.

2: Milton's tour last year played to more than 100,000 people of all ages.

3: It’s stupid and defies logic.

● Jason Byrne (UK): You Name The Show! (IRL) 1. If you don't want to talk to your partner for an hour.

2. If you liked to nod off in the dark for an hour, but be careful, make sure you cut out a wide white cardboard smile and stick it over your mouth oh and some open cardboard eyes would help too.

3. If you like to wee your underwear a little.

♥

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 26, 2014 - Page 5

'What are three reasons we should we come and see your show?'

● Patrick Cross (AUS): Out Of Fear 1. Everything I say on stage is true and actually happened.

2. Something I say will probably offend you.

3. And for a one hour show, the tickets are pretty cheap. ● Geraldine Quinn (AUS): MDMA: Modern Day Maiden Aunt 1. Because you are an aunt/uncle or a niece/nephew (or a human).

2. Because you like catchy pop-rock tunes sung with gusto.

3. Because none of my 19 nieces and nephews have got a birthday present out of me for about nine years. If you buy a ticket, they have a slightly better chance in 2014.

● Jen Kirkman (USA): Appearing in Headliners 1. So you can sit down.

2. Because I'm not a hack.

3. I give hugs.

● Joe Lycett (UK): If Joe Lycett Then You Should've Put A Ring On It 1. It's quite a funny show.

2. The tickets are reasonably priced.

3. If you don't I will find you and destroy you!

● Paul McCarthy (AUS): Identity Crisis 1.I'm quelle hilaire.

2.I remind people of the genius of Howard Jones.

3.I reveal what my mum's cure is for depression.

● Matt Okine (AUS): Happiness Not Included 1.Because my last show won an award at the Sydney Comedy Festival, and was nominated for an award at the Edinurgh Fringe Festival, along with playing to packed houses at the Soho Theatre in London. People around the world raved about me, and people around the world are never wrong.

2. Because I was on episode 6679 of Neighbours. Come see the man who played a wedding photographer in three scenes on Ramsay Street in real life! I might even talk about the time I walked past Toadie aka Jarrod Rebecchi in a hallway (Toadie didn't notice him...).

3. Because - as the only half-Ghanaian comedian at the festival, all your friends and work colleagues would think you were racist if you didn't see me! And you don't want your friends and work colleagues to think you're a big ol' racist, do you? I didn't think so. Book right now!

● Late Night Gimp Fight (UK): Australian Premiere 1. Because when people ask you what you're doing tonight, you'll instantly become a legend.

2. Where else can you see gimps in Melbourne? (Don't answer that) 3. You won't have seen anything like it before.

● Anne Edmonds (AUS): It's Eddo!

1. I've got some more stories about my mother.

2. I've discovered I can sing opera at a late age.

3. I've been experimenting with the disco beats on my keyboard.

● Wil Sylvince (USA) 1.When was the last time you seen a Haitian comedian come to Australia and tell jokes? And if you're not laughing then it's called poems.

2. Every 2 laughs, the 3rd one is free.

3. I'll have tee shirts and key chains for sale that would cost you more on my website… so it's best you come get them at my show.

To find out everything you need to know about the 2014 Melbourne International Comedy Festival (March 26 – April 20) including comedians, show reviews, performance dates, venues, ticketing information and more, visit www.comedyfestival.com.au

Page 6 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 26, 2014

MARKETING FEATURE

Melbourne Observer Advertising Press+Online+Google+SocialMedia+Editorial Advertisers’ Index References to ‘Trader’ denote the 32-page liftout in this edition All 4 Paws & Claws Resort ....... Trader P23 MCVilly Timber .......................... Trader P24 Barry MCVilly Pty Ltd ................ Trader P24 Merimbula Gardens .......................... Page 51 Beach Street Apartments ........... Trader P8 Metro Cinemas Boronia .............. Page 55 Billman’s Foundry ............................. Page 24 Metung Holiday Units ....................... Page 52 Birdscarers ............,,......................... Page 29 Michael’s Trailers ...................... Trader P9 Braemac Energy ....................... Trader P19 Net Pro ............................................... Page 23 Burong Equestrian Centre ............ Trader P29 New Gippsland Seeds & Bulbs ......... Page 31 Champion Juicer ............................... Page 31 Overwrought ...................................... Page 25 CMS International (Autosol) ..... Trader P13 Pacific Regis .................................... Page 53 Coolum Baywatch Resort ......... Trader P18 Patriot Campers ............................... Page 54 Darwin’s Barra Base ..................... Page 2 Play DVDs/Rare Music ............... Trader P10 Daylilies ............................................ Page 29 Pleasance Herbs .............................. Page 30 E-Cell ........................................ Trader P12 Productive Gardens ................. Trader P15 Echo 4x4 ................................. Trader P25 Protea Village ................................... Page 34 Eco Bag Industries ............................. Page 28 Entertainment Australia ............ Trader P5 Rangeview Seeds ................................ Page 27 Every Bit Organic ............................... Page 27 Red Cloud Bamboo ............................ Page 32 Formula Ford Experience Aust. .... Trader P32 Robinvale Wines ...................... Trader P11 Gilmour’s Comfort Shoes ............. Trader P25 Rosenow Industries .......................... Page 33 Golden Days Radio .................... Trader P16 Scootersmart .......................... Trader P14 Grosvenor In Cairns .................. Trader P3 Sea Change Safety Cove ............ Page 56 Gutzbusta ....................................Trader P28 SGI Consulting Group ................ Trader P22 Ivanhoe Cycles .................................... Page 3 Shop Inside .............................. Trader P7 Jenny Pihan Fine Art ................... Trader P30 Superaxe ........................................... Page 34 Mandalay Apartments .................... Trader P27 Tilco ......................................... Trader P20 Maroondah Sports Club ........... Trader P21 Tribute Funeral Services ........... Trader P6 Mattresses Galore ..................... Trader P12 Tunit Australia .......................... Trader P17 McLeod’s Agriculture ......................... Page 26 K & J Woolley’s Plumbing ......... Trader P4

Our advertisers are making news The Adventures Recommended!

■ Look out for our new Highly Recomof Barry MCVilly mended feature commencing next week in the Melbourne Observer.

Already we have a team of participating advertisers including Australian Greyhound Products, Charla-J Antiques, Combined Home Care, Equisent, Hygeia, Mermaid Beach Park View, Open Nutrition, Quest Consulting Services, Run On Sun Australia, Yering Meadows and Yogaplex.

Flower and Garden Show ■ The Melbourne International Flower and Garden Show runs from today (Wednesday, March 26) until Sunday, March 30.

The Show is a popular attraction at the Royal Exhibition Buildings and Carlton Gardens.

Victoria welcomes interstate visitors.

Advertisers in our special 10-page section include: ■ Billman’s Foundry (Page 24) ■ Birdscarers (Page 29) ■ Dayliles (Page 29) ■ Eco Bag Industries (Page 28) ■ Every Bit Organic (Page 27) ■ McLeod’s Agriculture (Page 26) ■ Net Pro (Page 23) ■ New Gippsland Seeds & Bulbs (Page 31) ■ Overwrought (Page 25) ■ Pleasance Herbs (Page 30) ■ Rangeview Seeds (Page 27) ■ Red Cloud Bamboo (Page 32) www.melbflowershow.com.au

■ Observer advertiser Barry MCVilly is a professional hunter. Each year, around this time, preparations for hunts are put in place, and young hunters are mentored in their skills.

The youngest observer will be Tom, 11, who will attend his first deer hunt.

Barry is also principal of the Burong Equestrian Centre at Winchelsea, which is dirceted

by Charlottle Blakeley.

Charlotte has extensive experience in equestrian pursuits, and was an important part of the operations at the Swedish stables built

by King Carl Gustaf in 1661. The stables accommodate 4000 spectators, who watch events in the indoor arena.

Charlotte is being asked to speak at a number of Rotary Club meetings around the state, to talk on her work in Sweden and other parts of Europe. One big Rotary function is to be held in the Western District on May 29. They are already looking for a bigger venue after bookings sold out to hear the award-winning equestrian eventer.

● Barry MCVilly in his ‘office’

Get your gas heater serviced before the winter rush Gas Safety Check. It's really important.

Special Price for March-April: $125 Beware the silent killer. You can’t see it and you can’t semm it, but if you have a gas heater in your home then your family could be at risk from carbon monoxide poisoning.

Carbon monoxide (CO) is an odourless, colourless gas that can be produced by faulty, unserviced gas heater. K & J Woolley Master Plumbers can check the gas safety in your home - with a special $125 offer from March and April.

Carbon monoxide can be produced in large quantities if your heater does not completely burn the gas it uses. This can happen for a number of reasons but the most common causes are faults, lack of servicing or a blocked flue.

Carbon monoxide can be fatal, but it’s easy to protect your family from this silent killer.

Victoria’s gas safety regulator, Energy Safe Victoria, and the Plumbing Industry Commission, recommend getting your gas heater serviced at least every two years to keep your family safe.

The vdanger is greater when the carbon monoxide is spilling into a bedroom where the door and windows are tightly sealed, or a confined space such as a toilet or bathroom.

Landlords and their agents have particular responsibilities under the Residential Tenancies Act 197 to ensure gas appliances in rented accommodation are safe to use and properly maintained.

Carbon monoxide poisoning can be fatal.

Nine Victorian lives were claimed between 2000 and 2011, while dozens more people have been treated in hospitals. Call K & J Woolley Plumbers today to organise your Gas Safety Check. It’s really important.

Phone 0432 380 886 or 9499 8222.

Phone 0432 380 886. Head Office: 9499 8222

ARC No 33651 Plumbing Licence No 35847