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ADVERTISING FEATURE

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Mark Richardson ♥ Straight from the heart

E-Mail: mark@localmedia.com.au

WACKY GRAND FINAL PARADE

■ When events needs something wacky (and it seems they do) the guys at Melbourne-based Wacky Entertainment have been delivering wacky performances to conferences, product launches, gala dinners and major public events across Australia and overseas since 1995.

In 'wacky' language, that simply translates to a group of mates who create costumes, dress-up, write scripts and make a living as colourful roving performers and event MCs. With more than 100 in-house musical and non-musical acts ranging from giant footballs, candy sticks, wine bottles, tram conductors, horses and tennis rackets, it's no wonder they are hired by major corporations and event teams including: Commonwealth Games Athletes Village, the Australian Open Tennis, the Australian Grand Prix, the AFL, Crown, the VRC, Melbourne Aquarium, Diners Club International and major banks in Melbourne and around the world.

So who makes for a wacky entertainer? Well it just so happens that my high school buddy Col Cameron is a founding performer and the Artistic Director of Wacky Entertainment.

At school he was an all-round performer many of us believed was destined for a career in the entertainment industry.

He was a musician, prankster and performed original comedy routines at assembly, the teacher's choice to MC school events and invited to ap-

Roving Porch Thoughts pear on The Early Bird Show. Col has continued to MC events around the world, is a talented stand-up comedian and on Friday, will again lead the AFL Grand Final Parade along Swanston Street as the drum playing (and tallest) member of Wacky Entertainment's roving 'footy fan' quartet marching band.

I met up with Col as he mapped out his thoughts on Swanston Street, in preparation to wack his drum and lead the parade in front of thousands of screaming AFL fans.

How do you feel being one of four guys leading the AFL Grand Final Parade?

I love this gig because we get to fire up the thousands of passionate footy fans who line the city streets waiting to catch a glimpse of their heroes. I love being up close to see their screaming faces.

How did Wacky Entertainment come to form?

Wacky Entertainment formed as a quartet of musicians' intent on interacting directly with the audience rather than being stuck in the back row of a band or orchestra. The idea was to play acoustic, portable instruments and match them with great costumes.

Off The Porch Thought For The Day Dr Chantel Thornton Breast Cancer Surgeon, Epworth Hospital, Peter Mac Callum Cancer Centre “In my job I have seen the difference not-forprofit organisations have made to the treatment of women with breast cancer. I am overwhelmed by the generosity of Melburnians and proud of what women have achieved for each other. During Breast Cancer Awareness Week in October, Australian women will once again prove that passionate groups have a powerful voice!”

Who are the minds behind Wacky Entertainment?

Nowadays the company is made up of a core group of 4-6 performers plus administration staff with a cast of up to 60 performers. Nic Yates is the owner with Luke Farrugia and Greg Spence as the other core members.

Who designs the wacky costumes?

We have used a variety of professional designers over the years.

All our costumes are quirky as they have to allow for crowd interaction and therefore need an open face with lots of strange holes to cater to anything from a tuba, trumpet, sax or drums to poke through!

Apart from the AFL Grand Final Parade on Friday, what other gigs have you got lined-up?

We are about to head into the super busy period with bookings coming in thick and fast. After the Grand Final Parade we perform at our regular events with some of our favourite clients like the VRC at Flemington, the City of Melbourne and Myer to name just a few.

What are your favourite types of gigs?

I really enjoy working with clients who love to push the boundaries and come up with something new. Quite often we've worked with them year after year creating custom entertainment for their events and each year we end up madly brainstorming original, dare I say wacky, ideas.

An example of this is Citibank Asia with whom I've worked for many years; always fun and always a challenge. I've found myself running around Beijing a la The Amazing Race as well as racing teams to build a raft in Halong Bay, Vietnam.

After you receive a client brief, what does the team do next?

We look at ways to achieve the client's objectives through our skills.

It could be a phantom race call, a team building activity, a comedy spot or a red carpet arrival routine.

Then we create a proposal and begin the process of massaging the ideas to make it work.

Do you ever have 'creative' disagreements?

All the time! After over 15 years we've realised that that's where the best ideas come from.

What are some of the wackiest things you've done?

I have performed in a dinner suit in a swimming pool. I hid in a

● Col Cameron You are also a stand-up comewheelie bin then drove it around squirting the public. Danced to dian, what is your comedy about?

I love to work off the cuff, imRiverdance in a skin-dive suit while playing drums and being squirted by provising my way through. I talk the audience who were armed with about current news, my wife and kids and I have a routine about our supersoakers.

I've been bailed up by security school (Burwood Heights High) while pretending to be a loud Ameri- titled ‘Jealousy’.

Where is your next comedy percan tourist lost at the Acropolis in Athens. They didn't appreciate me formance?

I am on stage tonight until and asking people to point to where I was each evening until Saturday, Sepon my map of Rome.

Since taking to the microphone tember 29 at The Comics Lounge in at high school, where have you trav- Errol Street, North Melbourne. I am performing with comedians Corinne elled overseas as an MC? I have been lucky to perform all Grant and Adam Richard.

What is your Porch Thought of over South East Asia including Vietnam, China, Hong Kong and The Day? OMG! I have cut this interview Singapore as well as Japan and New Zealand. I've also performed short to pick my son up from occain Spain, Greece and I'm off to Tur- sional care. Seriously!

- Mark Richardson key soon.

● Luke Farrugia, Nic Yates and Col Cameron

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Services

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City Desk

Melbourne

Observer

The hottest news about Melbourne’s A-listers

The Buzz $50,000 award for Meme Off the booze

● Meme McDonald

● Craig Huggins ■ Gold 104.3 presenter Craig Huggins has again signed to be an ambassador for Ocsober event, swearing off alcohol for a month.

‘Huggy’ is an Ambassador for Life Education Australia, a nonGovernment-funded organisation that schools children in the dangers of drug and alcohol abuse.

“Huggy’ is looking for sponsors: http://fundraise.ocsober. com.au/craig_huggins_2

■ Community and cultural artist Meme McDonald has been presented the Ros Bower Award worth $50,000 for an outstanding, life-long contribution to community arts and cultural development.

Meme was involved with the West Theatre Company in Melbourne’s western suburbs in 1979, and was Artistic Director for eight years.

The Kirk Robson Award was presented to Mohammed Ahmed and Anna Weekes.

The awards were presented at the Abbotsford Convent.

Under The Clocks Footy Fever at Crown Melbourne

ALAN HOSTS HUGE HOLLYWOOD EVENT

Big night ● Gary Ablett Jnr and Steve Johnson were at Crown Melbourne for the Footy Fever launch at the West End. More photos on Page 10.

■ Artman Gallery, Glen Huntly, is hosting the opening night of 50 Years On, on Tuesday(Oct. 2) from 6pm-8pm. It celebrates the 50th anniversary of Jeremy Barrett, Clive Cocum, Mark Pearse and Peter Petruccelli's graduation from th e National Gallery School of Art in Victoria where they painted under the tutelage of Ian Armstrong, Alan Sumner and John Brack. Helen Brack will launch the exhibition .

Get well soon, Jim Sherlock! ● Frank Howson ■ Melbourne writer-entertainer Frank Howson is organising a night to remember John Lennon.

The evening will be at the Memo Theatre, 88 Acland St, St.Kilda at 8pm on Friday, October 5.

The Melbourne Observer is printed by Streamline Press, 155 Johnston St, Fitzroy, for the publisher, Ash Long, for Local Media Pty Ltd, ABN 67 096 680 063, of the registered office, 30 Glen Gully Road, Eltham, Vic 3095.

■ Melbourne hotelier Alan Johnson, who also operates the Ramada West Hollywood hotel in Los Angeles, has been part of the early Halloween celebrations held outside his Santa Monica Blvd complex.

TV-radio personality Ryan Seaquest, who hosts the weeknight Mix 101.1 program in Melbourne, was at Johnson’s hotel to receive an award from West Hollywood business.

Entertainer Matt Hetherington was spotted with Paul Shirley for the ★ Wheelchair Soccer Team's annual party on Sunday at the Dick Whittington Hotel in Chapel St, St Kilda.

Prior and Matt Hetherington star in a campaign of radio ★QMarina commercials for Promises, Promises being aired on Smooth 91.5FM. Magazine publisher Brett Hayhoe is jetting his way to New York for ★Inter-Pride conferences.

Bruce Mansfield and Philip Brady presented their 3AW Nightline ★show last night (Tues.) from South Pacific at the Princess Theatre

Melbourne Moments Mayne speaker

News briefs

■ The Community Broadcasting Association has announced that Crikey founder Stephen Mayne will be the keynote speaker for its November conference in Melbourne.

The 2012 CBAAAwards will also take place during the CBAA Conference, which will be held from November 15-18 at Rydges On Swanston in Melbourne.

CBA General Manager Kath Letch has given notice to quit her position and will leave the Association when her contract ends. Mayne now appears occasionally on ABC radio.

■ Mick Hall, a customer at Alexandra Newsagency, has won a Barina Spark in the ‘Love Your Newsagent’ promotion. Strzelecki Newsagency in Mirboo North won the best display section.

■ The Historical Radio Society of Australia held Australia's largest vintage radio display and swap meet at the Springvale Town Hall on Sunday.

■ Wally Mott is the guest speaker at the Whittlesea and Plenty Valley Tourism Association Inc networking event to be held at Whitehaven Receptions, Whittlesea tomorrow (Thurs.).

● Stephen Mayne

■ Melbourne Observer movies and DVD man Jim Sherlock has been in hospital, undergoing tests, after suffering chest pains late last week.

His partner Jenny tells us Jim is currently “doing OK”.

We join with Jim’s many fans in wishing him a prompt and full recovery to good health,

Opening ■ Flora, Fauna and Fantasy is the name of the exhibition to be opened this Sunday (Sept.

30), 2pm-5.30pm, at the Gordon Edgerton Gallery, 64 Main St, Gordon. Artists represented include Graeme Cardinal, Marion East, Edward Heffernan and Yitao Liu.

● Jim Sherlock

What’s On In Melbourne

Andrew Evans of the Abbostford Convent Foundation advises of ★ tonight’s 6pm launch at the C3 Contemporary Art Space. On display are works by Sarah Ritchie, Simon O’Carrigan, Ross Taylor, Maggie Brown, Alan Penfold, Amanda Airs, Hayley Scilini and Lisa Frankland, curated by Adriane Hayward.

Attorney-General Robert Clark has announced the appointment of new Justices-of-the-Peace Michael Shayne Alexander, Michael Francis Beaumont, Rodney Gordon Bowles, Margaret Cousins, Gary William Fitzgerald, Jennifer Dawn Funston, Christopher James Hutton, Allan Murdoch Norris, Malcolm Bruce Parker, Russell John Robinson, Charles William Gordon Schultz and Tracey Lorraine Steiner.

★

Page 10 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, September 26, 2012

People Melbourne

Footy Fever ■ Crown Melbourne’s Footy Fever event was launched this week at the West End of the complex.

Amongst those on the guest list were Shane Crawford, Jesinta Campbell, GaryAblett Jnr, Billy Brownless, Lehmo, Garry Lyon, Joel Selwood, Tom Hawkins,Andrew Mackie, Mathew Stokes, Tom Lonergan, Steve Johnson, Mitch Duncan, Alan Eskander, Ralph and Emma Carr, ScherriLee Biggs, Samantha Downie, Em Rusciano, Candice Goss, Luke Wallace and Amber Greasley.

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● Benji Madden and Joel Madden

● Jesinta Campbell with Shane Crawford

● Heath Meldrum and Brodie Harper

● Melody Le with Candice Goss

● Geoff Cox and friends

● Billy Brownless with Garry Lyon

● Tim O’Shea and Brodie Young

● Shura Taft and Laura Peric

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It’s All About You!

Melbourne

SCHIZOPHRENIC MAN, 35, WINS Observer LEGAL CASE OVER $2.1M HOME In This 56-Page Edition

Melbourne’s own Nance Grant Julie Houghton looks at a new CD from a favourite Melbourne soprano

● Nance Grant Photo: Serge Thomann ■ When you think of Melbourne classical operatic arias and Beethoven's Fidelio, to music legends, the name Nance Grant is one Mendelssohn's oratorio Elijah, there is something to delight every fan of fine classical that belongs in that august list.

Now a lady of mature years, and still look- songs.

Nance is well known as a teacher and ading as wonderful and dignified as she always did, Nance has just released a double CD set judicator, and many professional singers would of her arias from her career, and some of her vouch for her encouragement of younger singers. radio broadcasts of the 1960s and 1970s.

So what does this grande dame of opera Soprano Nance worked a great deal with the late highly respected accompanist think is important for young singers?

"All singing students should study art song, Geoffrey Parsons, and many of their collaborations are on this CD, entitled The Art Of French, Italian and lieder - this gives a student a good all round technique before going Nance Grant.

My own first memory of this wonderful into the operatic repertoire,”Nance explains.

Nance said she loved singing Puccini, artist is going to see her in the title role of Beethoven's Fidelio, and I have never forgot- Beethoven and Verdi, but found she needed ten the grace and power of her acting, and the some international help before tackling Wagner. beauty of her voice.

"I went to Germany to study with ProfesWhere many singers of her generation made the decision to leave Australia for En- sor Kaise-Breme, a specialist Wagner singgland and Europe, Nance chose to stay close ing coach at Bayreuth, the home of Wagner. to her family in Australia, even though the The secret to singing Wagner well is the famous musician Sir Edward Downes said breathing and support, and a mature voice and he could 'fill her books' with performances in stamina is required to sing those big roles.

Singers should not perform these roles before Britain and Europe.

The double CD set falls into two separate 25 - 30 years, and often later for males."

The Art of Nance Grant is produced by areas - the first being her recital work with Geoffrey Parsons and the second being Nance Melbourne's Melba Recordings www.melbarecordings.com.au singing opera. Oratorio and lieder.

- Julie Houghton From songs by Edvard Grieg to Wagner

■ A 35-year-old man suffering from schizophrenia has successfully wrestled control of his own financial affairs, after an application to the Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal.

The man, named only as ‘SB’ in VCAT documents, applied to have an administration order revoked. Since 2005 his financial affairs have been administered by State Trustees.

VCAT Member Anne Duggan heard the man had inherited a half-interest in a $2.1 Williamstown home, and a $30,000 Mercedes-Benz, following thd death of his mother in January.

The man’s father has a life interest in the home. Upon his father passing away, he will have a half-share in his father’s assets, through a discretionary trust.

The man said he believed he was not consulted properly about the conduct of the will, that he felt he could manage well on a day-to-day basis, and appreciated the help of State Trustees in the past.

The man works 10 hours a week. He had been courteous and reasonable in his dealings with State Trustees.

Ms Duggan heard from the man’s father who was supportive of the application, received a report from State Trustees, and heard the positive recommendations from Carol Addicoat, case manager of the Mercy Mental Health Saltwater Clinjc.

Latest News Flashes Around Victoria

660 texts to ex-partner ■ Jailed Horsham man Ashley Paul Taylor, 25, who threatened to 'cut up' his former partner will be eligible for parole in three months, after pleading guilty to 33 charges. Sen Const Matthew Haughton said Taylor's 660 text and voicemail messages were abusive, offensive, menacing, threatening and used obscene language.

‘Step-by-step plans’ ■ Det. Sen. Const. Megan Adams of the Homicide Squad has told Geelong Court how a computer belonging to accused killer Gareth Giles contained two step-by-step plans on how to commit a murder. Giles and co-accused Christopher Coulter have been ordered to stand trial over the death of Russell Hammond.

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Mark Richardson: Wacky grand finals ..... Page 4 Melb. People: Footy pix from Crown ...... Page 10 Di Rolle: On the road with Macy Gray ... Page 12 Long Shots: TV’s ‘Homicide’ days ......... Page 14 Melb. Confidential: Priceless gossip ...... Page 15 Victoria Pictorial: Nostalgic photos ...... Page 16 Yvonne Lawrence: Favourite columnist .. Page 17 Extra: Nick Le Souef, outback legend ... Page 18 Showbiz: Helpmann Award winners ....... Page 39 Radio Confidential: Top honour ........... Page 40 Flashes: ABC ‘Chaser’ disgrace ........... Page 41 Holiday Selections TV, Radio, Theatre Local Theatre Mega Crosswords

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Di Touring with Macy Gray

● Di Rolle with Macy Gray ■ I was on the Gold Coast on tour with Macy Gray. She was great to deal with and had lots of fun on a very quick tour commencing in Sydney, next day Gold Coast, then Brisbane and Melbourne, and then back to LA in one week.All good fun.

Audiences loved her. She loved Australia and managed to see some kangaroos and soak up some sun on the Gold Coast.

Jupiters Hotel and Casino knew that Macy had wanted to celebrate her birthday in Australia and went all out with their hospitality and put on a beautiful dinner for Macy and her band with a stunning Poker Cake especially for the birthday girl.

I have to say it was hospitality the likes I have not seen for a long time,.

Brian Hodge, the Entertainment Services Manager, invited key media to attend the very salubrious celebration in the Penthouse at Jupiters Hotel and Casino, a superb location.

His team of publicists, Rebecca Myles and Rebekah Boyle, greeted all the guests.

Macy arrived into Australia on the Saturday morning, did media most of that day, show next day, and Network Seven’s Sunrise and Morning Show next day, and then flew to the Gold Coast.

She was exhausted by the time she arrived at the Gold Coast and promptly took a nap and missed all the celebrations!

However the band and the tour party celebrated into the wee small hours.

Great hospitality, and a wonderful generous way to enjoy Jupiters Hotel and Casino and terrific way to unwind on what had been a very busy build up to the tour.

Thank you Brian.

I love my job!

● Billy Brownless, Garry Lyon and James Brayshaw ■ I visited the Channel Nine studios to go to The Footy Show. It was so sad not going to 22 Bendigo Street.

There is a lot to be said for not making change, even though the atmosphere is fabulous and the team at Nine as professional and slick as ever. It’s just not the same.

It was good to catch up with the team, both on camera and behind the scenes and the commitment to the show is palpable.

With Final Fever in the air, it was sensational to be visiting on the show, the week before the big last show of the year.

Garry Lyon leads a great on air team with the show and the camaraderie with the team and the staff is terrific – it helps for a fun night.

I always love coming home on a Thursday night to watch The Footy Show on Channel Nine, and Before The Game on Channel 10.

Fox Sports do a good job too with their football shows.

For SIR CLIFF COMING BACK TO SEE US

■ Someone I toured with a few years ago is Sir Cliff Richard.

He is coming back to Australia.

He loves coming here and loves the tennis when he is here.

He will return in 2013 with his Reelin’and A-Rockin’ National Tour.

Sir Cliff Richard OBE, with global record sales beyond 250 million and a ceaseless performance schedule spanning the 54 years of his career, will perform at Melbourne’s new Hamer Hall. Tickets are on sale now.

Celebrating his 54th anniversary in the music business this year, Cliff Richard is indisputably Britain’s alltime greatest hit-maker – the ultimate pop star!

No other UK band or solo artists is even close to equalling his 123 single hits.

As the sixties got underway Cliff was dominating the airwaves with such indelible hits as Living Doll, Please Don’t Tease, Bachelor Boy, Lucky Lips, All My Love and Congratulations.

His constant presence in our lives has been bolstered by smash box office films The Young Ones, Summer Holiday and Wonderful Life.

In the seventries, he continued as a primary chart force with hits such as Devil Woman, We Don’t Talk Anymore and Carrie then into the eighties with Dreamin’, Wired For Sound,

■ I did a lot of touring on the road in the 80s and 90s.

It’s a great way of life, jumping on planes, getting to venues, meeting the media in each state, having the performance and then moving on to the next.

It’s a very exciting way to live. I did love being with Macy and her team! Great fun.

And the best part about any travelling is coming home.

I always appreciate everything about my home when I

with leading Melbourne publicist DI ROLLE

the crack outfit that was so much a part of his enormous appeal for so long.

As a young girl I adored Cliff Richard and The Shadows and it was a particular thrill for me to the great Hank Marvin, Bruce Welch and the brilliant Tony Meehan in the flesh.

It was sad that Jet Harris was not able to be here for the reunion.

Jet Harris died last year on March 18 after a long battle with cancer.

Cliff will travel Australia in February, tickets are on sale now.

In Melbourne he will be at Melbourne Arts Centre, Hamer Hall, in Friday- Saturday, February 15-16.

Tickets at arts centre melbourne. com.au Phone 1-300 182 183.

the Korean-American prodigy made an acclaimed international debut at the Grammy Awards at the tender age of 12.

Edgy and charismatic, with a theatrical flair, Hahn-Bin has all the verve of a contemporary pop icon, while maintaining an unwavering reverence for the classical canon.

By turns dark ferocious and incandescent in recital, HahnBin seeks to forcibly dismantle the boundaries of artistic expression.

Joined on stage for his Festival performances by pianist Or Matias, Hahn-Bin is

bound to astonish Melbourne audiences with his fierce technical mastery and provocative artistic masquerade, even as he quietly advances his ultimate goal; ushering classical music back into the popular fold of mainstream culture.

The performance is on Wednesday, October 17, 7.30pm, at Elisabeth Murdoch Hall, It is presented by Melbourne Festival in association with Playking Foundation.

Tickets melbourne recital.com.au or phone 9699 3333.

Prodigy

● Sir Cliff Richard Daddy’s Home, Living saw him play to Doll (with the Young around Some 100,000 Ones TV cast) and people attendedin areSome People.

He is a lovely guy, nas, domes and wina real gentleman al- eries.

Then again in ways friendly and relaxed with a lovely 2012, he marked the Reunion Tour of the manner.

Australia was re- venerable Shadows, minded of those hits in giving audiences here 2003 when Australia’s the precious opportuleg of his Wanted tour nity to bid farewell to

come back from anywhere.

No dialling 9 for room service or sitting round by the pool – that doesn’t happen much.

What usually happens is for me .... I get cabin fever and have to go out and get fresh air, which usually means going out to the lobby and standing out the front of the hotel for 10 minutes, and then back into hotel to computer!

■ The Melbourne Festival is almost upon us and I am particularly keen to see one performer.

Certainly one of the most exciting entertainers to come to the Melbourne Festival is Hahn-Bin. I promise you, you will hear about him not only from me. Ahed 24, he is an incredible artist and coming to the Melbourne Recital Centre.

He is already a force to be reckoned with in the classical world, having mesmerised seasoned veterans and younger audiences alike with his virtuoso violin performances.

His credentials are impeccable; a longtime protégé of Itzhak Perlman at the prestigious Julliard School,

● Hahn-Bin

Clever move Derryn ■ My old mate Derryn Hinch is always full of surprises and I wondered where he would end up after 3AW. Sensibly he has signed with the Seven Network. He will appear in the Seven News, Sunrise and Sunday Night programs.

I think this is a great idea, change is good.

Derryn will work well there and bring his magic touch to stories he does. He will also take a swag of viewers with him who have faithfully listened to him over his time at 3AW and took him to Number One. Clever move Seven.

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, September 26, 2012 - Page 13

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Observer

Breaking News

DISCRIMINATION CLAIM AXED Vale Max Stuart

Briefs Named

● Geoffrey Edelsten ■ Colourful business identity Geoffrey Edelsten has been named as owner of a website, Australia’s Worst Journalists ... which names journalists critical of Geoffrey Edelsten.

Scribes listed include Fiona Byrne, Annette Sharp,Adam Shand, Ben Butler, Lawrence Money, Derryn Hinch and Paul Barry.

No sale ■ Fairfax Media, which just announced a $2.7 billion loss, says The Age newspaper business is not for sale. The broadsheet newspaper is soon to close its Tullamarine printing facility.

Passing ■ A former supporter of Babirra Theatre, Olwyn Beare, has passed away at the age of 79.

She was the widow of Geoff, mother and mother-in-law of Stephen and Marylyn, John, Denise and Simon.

A funeral service will be held will be held at 1pm tomorrow (Thurs.) at Christ Church, 2 Denham St, Hawthorn.

■ Michael Palibrk has lost his discrimination claim against Allied Overnight Express Ltd. Palibrk, a depot operations manager, took his complaint to the Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal. It was heard by Senior Member Genevieve Nihill, who this month handed down her written reasons.

Palibrk complained that a colleague was promoted to a job for which he considered he was qualified. His employment was terminated in 2010.

In the VCAT case, Palibrk also named Barry Hamilton, Craig Ryan, Lothar Bermann, owner Colin McDowell and John Richardson as respondents.

Palibrk said there was discrimination because he suffered from the skin condition psoriasis, and needed regular treatment during work hours at the Western General Hospital.

The company denied the psoriasis ‘impairment’ was the reason Palibrk was dismissed. They said there were other well-documented reasons.

Ms Nihill said there was no evidence that the decision to promote someone other than Palibrk was an act of discrimination.

● Marina Prior ● Former Nine and Ten Network executive, Max Stuart, passed away at the weekend, in care at Kyneton.

Max, who had a financial background, moved from GTV-9 to ATV-0 in the early days of Melbourne television.

He was also named as General Manager of Renaissance Television when it was launched in 2000.

The date for a memorial service has yet to be announced.

CLAIM ON SPA COMPANY FAILS AT VIC. TRIBUNAL

■ A bitter dispute between purchaser Sally Nicholls and The Endless Swimming Spa Comapny (Vic) Pty Ltd has found its way before Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal Deputy President Ian Lulham.

Ms Nicholls attended a ‘Spa Show’ at the Melbourne Convention Centre and ordered a $19,000, and paid a $2000 deposit.

Ms Nicholls sought to cancel the contract, seven months later.

She later paid $13,000 by electronic transfer. She accused the company of misleading conduct, and alleged Warren Anderson to be a “conman”.

Mr Lulham said he found much of Ms Nicholls’s’ evidence

Melbourne Observations with Matt Bissett-Johnson

PROMISES, PROMISES ■ The Production Company is putting its finishing touches to Promises, Promises, starring Marina Prior and Matt Hetherington.

The show opens on Wednesday next week (Oct. 3), with six shows until October 7.

Prior stars as Fran Kubelik, the cafeteria waitress whose romantic troubles have got her down, and Hetherington is Chuck Baxter, the enterprising associate on the way up. This smart and sexy musical is based on the Oscar-winning Billy Wilder film, The Apartment.

Promises, Promises has a score by the Academy Award-winning team of Burt Bacharach and Hal David, and book by the legendary Neil Simon.

Nadia Tass directs her first show for The Production Company. Musical Director is Guy Simpson.

This Week’s Competition

WIN TICKETS TO ‘JERSEY BOYS’ to be evasive. Mr Lulham said he found Mr Anderson’s evidence to be “cogent and persuasive”.

Mr Lulham said ESS was nbot entitled to seek storage charges on the spa, because there was no written condition in the contract to do so.

In dismissing her claim, Mr Lulham said Ms Nicholls’s evidence was “contradictory, vague and inconsistent”.

Winners receive two tickets to Jersey Boys. (Reserved Seating, Stalls) 8pm, Thursday, January 10, 2013 at the Princess Theatre

The Melbourne Observer has FIVE double tickets to Jersey Boys: The Story of Franike Valli and The Four Seasons to be won.

To enter this competition, complete the details on the form below, and post it - so it will reach us by first mail, Monday, October 1, 2012. Five entries will be drawn. Winners’ details will be published in the Melbourne Observer on Wednesday, October 3, 2012. Tickets will be mailed to winners.

To enter, post to Jersey Boys Melbourne Observer PO Box 1278, Research Vic 3095 to reach us by first mail, Mon., Oct. 1, 2012

TELL US YOUR BIRTHDAY DAY MONTH (notYEAR compulsory)

Name: ..................................................................................,.

Address: ..............................................................................

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Page 14 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, September 26, 2012 Melbourne

Observer

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Ash On Wednesday

HOMICIDE: A CRAWFORD PRODUCTION Tinnitus tales Masonic myths

Our Doors are Open!

What have you heard?

Worshipful Brother Ben Quick, Past Master Last week a few members of the Freemasons Victoria team took to the street, to find out what the 'average' Melbournite really knew about Freemasonry. More than a few people, it seems, are still fascinated by the various myths and suppositions surrounding Freemasonry.

There is, of course, still a lot of supposition and speculation about what it is to be a Freemason, with films (From Hell) and novels (The Lost Symbol) using the symbolism of Freemasonry to suggest occult connections.

Popular fiction is just that - fiction. The reality of Freemasonry is far less frightening and demonic.

Any man of good standing, who can honestly say that he believes in a 'Supreme Being', is eligible to become a Freemason.

The Fraternity welcomes men of all religions, and so by definition cannot be a Satanic cult.

So, how did the idea of the evil Freemason come about?

The first suggestion of a Masonic confession of Satanism came in The Taxil Hoax, in the late 19th Century.

Léo Taxil's works included a number of eyewitness accounts, including the confession of Diana Vaughan, a woman who was supposedly fully indoctrinated into Satanic Freemasonry.

In 1897, Taxil revealed the 'histories' as a mockery of Freemasonry and the Church. However, in true tabloid style, the myth has lived on long past the revelation.

Another myth of Masonic evil that has gained popularity in recent years concerns the Whitechapel Murderer, Jack the Ripper.

Stephen Knight's 1976 book Jack the Ripper: The Final Solution presents an elaborate conspiracy, involving Freemasonry, the royal family and Satanism.

Knight's book suggests that the murderer was a Freemason connected to the British Royal Family.

The theory draws a number of long bows, including the assertion that Police Commissioner Sir Charles Warren (a prominent Freemason) destroyed evidence to protect his fellow Masons.

It also cites the fact that one of the victims, Annie Chapman, was found near a leather apron the apron being a prominent part of Masonic dress.

However, a simple Google search returns a theory, based on similar conclusions, that Jack the Ripper was Santa Claus.

Freemasonry requires that members believe in a Supreme Being, but it does not dictate what form that being should take and it does not give that being a name. There is no Masonic religious dogma.

In fact, Freemasonry forbids religious discussion within the Lodge Room, to avoid the creation of dogma.

In Freemasonry, men of any religion are equal, with a man's worth determined by his thoughts and deeds, not by his position, politics or religion.

So, while the mystery and mythology may make for an interesting read, the truth is that Freemasonry is in no way Satanic.

To find out more about Freemasonry, how to become a member, attend upcoming public events, or to take a tour of the Masonic Centre, please visit www.freemasonsvic.net.au or 'Like' our Facebook page, www.facebook.com/ freemasonsvic for the most up to date information.

● Jack Fegan ■ Hands up those who were raised on a TV diet of Homicide and Division Four in the good-ol’ days of black-and-white.

News reaches us that Crawford Productions will be releasing the first series of the 1964 drama on DVD, in volumes of 24 episodes.

Melbourne viewers sat down religiously at 7.30pm on Tuesday nights to watch the exploits of the Homicide detectives from D24 headquarters in Russell St. I was aged just 8 when the first episode aired on October 20, 1964.

The first three detectives, complete with ‘pork pie’ hats, were Inspector Jack Connally (played by John Fegan), Det. Sgt Frank Bronson (Terry McDermott) and Det. Rex Fraser (Lex Mitch-ell).

Melbourne audiences were glued as they watched 16mm location footage of familiar streets and landmarks appear on their screens, with the powder-blue Studebaker (supplied by Canada Cycle & Motor Co) racing through the suburbs, with siren blazing.

510 episodes ■ Some 510 episodes were produced until 1977, with cast members including Leonard Teale, Leslie Dayman, George Malla-

● Leonard Teale

● Lex Mitchell, Jack Fegan and Terry McDermott in the pilot episode

■ Thanks to Observer readers for their tales of tinnitus, after our story last week.

City businesswoman Nat has had the 24/7 ear-ringing for years.

She sleeps with the TV on full-blast, and her only relief comes from the drug Sudafed.

David of Healesville also has had the complaint for years without relief.

Mike Frazer of Brighton says doctors advised tinnitus could send people mad, and in his case, he reckons they were right!

Long Shots

editor@ melbourneobserver.com.au

with Ash Long, Editor “For the cause that lacks assistance, ‘Gainst the wrongs that need resistance For the future in the distance, And the good that we can do”

by, Lionel Long, Alwyn Kurts, Norman Yemm, Mike Preston, Gary Day, Charles ‘Bud’ Tingwell, John Stanton and Don Barker.

Credits on the pilot episode include floor manager Bill Catmull; cameramen John Haddy, Lyle Hughes, Brendan McKenna, Joe Wharton; technical director Peter Bramley; lighting, Ken Hancock; audio, Ian McLeod; film sequences directed by Ian Jones; film cameraman Dudley Robinson; editor Ewart Wade; and assistant director David Lee.

The closing credits of Episode ‘A’ list executive producer Dorothy Crawford, scriptwriters Phil Freedman and Ian Jones; associate producer Sonia Borg; producer Ian Crawford; and director Bruce RossSmith.

Narrator John Mahon voices the familiar words: “And now some preview scenes from the next case in Homicide.”

Dan Webb reminds viewers: “Interstate artists choose to stay at California Motel, Melbourne; they fly the friendly way with TAA, the nation’s jetline.”

The Melbourne Observer is printed by Streamline Press, 155 Johnston St, Fitzroy, for the publisher, Ash Long, for Local Media Pty Ltd, ABN 67 096 680 063, of the registered office, 30 Glen Gully Road, Eltham, Distributed by All Day Distribution.

Responsibility for election and referendum comment is accepted by the Editor, Ash Long. Copyright © 2012, Local Media Pty Ltd. (ACN 096 680 063).

IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT COURT REPORTS Contents of Court Lists are intended for information purposes only. The lists are extracted from Court Lists, as supplied to the public, by the Magistrates’ Court of Victoria, often one week prior to publication date; for current Court lists, please contact the Court. Further details of cases are available at www.magistratescourt.vic.gov.au The Melbourne Observer shall in no event accept any liability for loss or damage suffered by any person or body due to information provided. The information is provided on the basis that persons accessing it undertake responsibility for assessing the relevance and accuracy of its content. No inference of a party’s guilt or innocence should be made by publication of their name as a defendant. Court schedules may be changed at any time for any reason, including withdrawal of the action by the Plaintiff/Applicant. E&OE.

● Lex Mitchell and Terry Bronson guide the powder blue Studebaker on the new South-Eastern Freeway, with a credit when Victoria Police was proud to have the word ‘Force’ in its title ■ Ian Turpie, playing university student Lindsay Murdock, was the first victim in Homicide.

The storyline involved students carrying out a prank hold-up on ‘The Federal Bank’ in Bourke St. The episode shows Det. Rex Fraser bringing back a sandwich, and halfbottle of milk, for his ● Ian Turpie lunch at the desk at D24 ered by an actor. Ever-inheadquarters: ‘VKC’.

Homicide was compul- quisitive Long Shots, aged sory viewing for our fam- 8, piped up: “What’s pregily. Silence was the rule nant mean?” as Dad, Mum and the I was ushered off, into three kids sat in front of the bedroom, with Mum the Astor 17-inch. left to explain. Meanwhile, In one episode, the Dad didn’t miss a minute word ‘pregnant’ was utt- of Homicide.

Observer Treasury Thought For The Week ■ “Any mother can tell you a teenager’s hangup doesn’t include clothes.”

Observer Curmudgeon ■ “Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”

- Marcel Proust

Text For The Week

■ “The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away.”

- Psalm 90

45 weeks of the Melbourne Observer, home-delivered, for $99. Phone 1-800 231 311

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, September 26, 2012 - Page 15

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Confidential Melbourne

Talk is cheap, gossip is priceless

VICTORIAN ASSOCIATIONS TO BE STRUCK

■ A number of Victorian associations look set to have their incorporation status voluntarily cancelled over the comin month, advises Deputy Registrar David Betts in the latest Victoria Government Gazette: Westvale Playgroup Inc.; Afghan Association for Education Inc.; Citizens Affected by the Commercialisation of Point CookAirfield Inc.; Care Events for Nannies Inc.; Knox Warrawee Inc.; Free Beach Association of Victoria Inc.; Worawa Football Club Inc.; Seedcurator.Com Inc.; Waaia Public Hall Inc.; Shepparton Town Club Inc.; Dandenong Gymnastics Club Inc.; Border Region Drug & Alcohol Association Inc.; The Bayside Boardriding Club Inc.; Australian Chinese Architects Association Inc.; Tyco 4WD Club Incorporated; Action Benalla Inc.; Nillumbik Preschool Association Inc.; East Ringwood Veterans Football Club Inc.; South Eastern Emergency Network Inc.; Manangatang Community Bunker Inc.; The Central Dressage Club Inc.; The Grail Club of Victoria Inc.; Du Pont Bayswater Social Club Inc.; Olympus Wrestling Club Inc.; M.B. Social Golf Club Inc.; Celtic Arts Down Under Inc.; Ararat & District Football Association Inc.; Church of Jesus Christ Inc.; VICTURS (Victorian Unicycle Riders Society) Inc.; Edenhope Swimming Club Inc.; Maroondah Theatre Company Inc.; The Golden Association of Victoria Inc.; Tyrrell Cricket Association Inc.; G.V. OlderAdults Recreation Network Inc.; Venture & Innovation Council Inc.; Australian Social and Cultural Women’s Association Inc.; Studfield Netball Club Inc.; Catani Dressage Club Inc.; Box Hill Stallions Inc.; Crown Hotel, Newstead, Social Club Inc.; Berwick Rugby League Club Inc.; Athlone Hall Social & Recreation Inc.; Dimboola Sports Centre Committee of Management Inc. Yarra Valley Women on the Go Inc.; Balmoral Drama Group Inc.; Swan Hill BMX Racing Club Inc.; Moorabool Landscape Guardians Inc.; Australian Technical College Gippsland Inc.; Moorabbin Districts Hockey Club Inc.; Wark Social Club Inc.; Daylesford Pre-School Centre Inc.; Heathcote & District Adult Riding Club Inc.; Frankston Blue Light Boxing Club Inc.; 818 InvestmentAssociation Inc.; The Colac Junior Chamber Inc.; Victorian Landcare Network Inc.; Pacific Christian Ministries Inc.; Central Victorian Olive Growers Association Inc.; Vivacious Prevouk Dance Crew Inc.; True Step Ministries Australia Inc.; Parachute Riggers Association (Southern States) Inc.; The Victorian Centres Against Sexual Assault Forum Inc.; Body of Christ Inc.; Women’s Circus Inc.; Preston South Ohrid Soccer Club Inc.; Women in Information Communication Inc.; Euroa Grazing Group Inc.; Lebanese Friends of Labor Inc.; East Ivanhoe Probus Club Inc.; University of Ballarat Taft Student Association Inc.; Jeparit Community Education Group Inc.; Aids, Hepatitis & Sexual Health Line Inc.; Arabic Friends of Labor Inc.; Pyramid Hill Bush Nursing Hospital Inc.; The Dunes Golf Club Inc.; The Chums Club Inc.; The Kiwanis Internet Club of Bayside Inc.; U3A Moreland Inc.; Pan-KastorianCultural Federation of Organisations Kastoria Australia Inc.; Work/ Life Association Inc.; 1214 Productions Funding Inc.; Isocial – ITSD Social Club Inc.; Community Transformation Inc.; Benalla’s Young Singers Inc.

ROMAN CATHOLIC TRUSTS CORP. LOSES BID TO DEMOLISH CHURCH ■ The Roman Catholic Trusts Corporation for the Diocese of Melbourne has lost an application to demolish the fire-damaged St Joseph’s Church in Collingwood.

Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal Member Vicki Davies disallowed the application, which was opposed by Pam Hallandal, Hanet Taylor (Collingwood Historical Society Inc), Val Noone and Mary Doyle, Helen Connors, Mary Ellen Fenelon and Robyn Wall.

The church was damaged by fire in 2007. Yarra City Council made the original decision, which was affirmedby VCAT. The Trusts Corporation has been ordered to pay $2310 costs.

Those opposing the demolition called witnesses including structural engineer Trevor Huggard, historian Dr Chris McConville, and conservation consultant Nigel Lewis.

Also appearing was Karen Cummings of the Collingwood Historical Society.

The Roman Catholic Trusts Corporation called heritage consultant Bryce Raworth, structural engineer Lindsay Patone, and quantity surveyor Anthony Prowse.

● St Joseph’s Catholic Church, Collingwood Ms Davies said a number of the Yarra City Council’s solicitor Adeline Lane called heritage con- objectors were parishioners. The sultant Peter Lovell, and structural building’s Gothic-style gables dated to 1862, 1875 and 1891. engineer George Cross.

Ms Davies said the church had The proposal included the demolition of the exterior masonry walls not “been changed beyond recogdown to ground level, excluding the nition” by the fire.

The proposed extent of the bell tower at the Otter St premises.

Ms Davies said the fire damage demolition would be against local was “not intense”, but did include policy, Ms Davies said. The church internal fittings, roof structure and had a long association with Irish Catholics of the area. slate roof, and stained windows.

WARNING OVER FAKE PHONE CALLS

■ The Australian Securities Investments Commission is warning against acting upon on an e-mail claiming to be from ‘Barbara DuFrene’, the purported Chairman of ASIC and the Australian Taxation Office.

The e-mail, which claims that recipients are entitled to receive a tax refund by clicking on a link provided, is a scam.

ASIC urges anyone who receives it or something similar to hit the de● Peter Kell lete button immediately.

ASIC has also been alerted to phone calls made by people claiming to be from ASIC. These calls connect to an automated service seeking payment for ASIC fees. These calls are not from ASIC. ASIC does not use automated services to collect payments.

ASIC Commissioner, Peter Kell, said, “Scams are designed to trick you into providing either money or personal information. An increasingly common tactic to gain consumer trust is for scammers to pretend they are from a Government agency or a financial institution.

“The scammers will come up with all sorts of stories to encourage you to part with your money, such as fees, fines, overpaid taxes, refunds, bank fees or compensation.

“Scams can be very convincing and sometimes quote your personal information such as your address, phone number and date of birth to sound genuine.

“Their offers can also be very attractive but don’t be lured by the false promises. Protect yourself by conducting a few basic checks before acting on an email or phone call out of the blue,” Mr Kell said.

Whispers

Oooops

● David Mann ■ 3AW Promotions Manager David Mann waxed lyrical to Bruce Mansfield and Philip Brady about how many Koondrook-Barham local people knew the Nightline duo through the relay to 3SH Swan Hill.

Bruce and Phil went silent.The ACE Radio affiliate dropped the 8pm-midnight program some years ago.

Just local

Rumour Mill Hear It Here First

Big business autographs ■ The Rumour Mill hears that teenagers were queueing up to 90 minutes at the weekend at the Royal Show to score an autograph from last year’s X Factor winner Reece Maston. When fans reached the head of the queue, they were asked to buy a $10 card for the autograph.

● Reece Maston

■ 3AW Nightline co-host Bruce Mansfield seems to have found a new currency. Back from his three-week overseas cruise, Bruce spoke glowingly of the ‘Euro Dollar’.

Kate’s cashless weekend

● Kate Neilson

■ It was a cashless weekend for Melbourne actress-model Kate Neilson.

“Left my credit card behind the bar Friday night and now I have run out of money,” Kate told her Facebook friends.

“Wahhh I need food!”

Did any white knight come to Kate’s rescue?

E-Mail: Confidential@MelbourneObserver.com.au

● Andrew McLaren ■ The much-discussed move, to broadcast 3AW’s midnight-dawn program nationally, did not take place on Monday morning.

Andrew McLaren and Mark Petkovic returned from three weeks’ leave from European and New York holidays respectively.

Their Monday morning show, freshly billed as Australia Overnight was only heard in Victoria. In NSW and Queensland, the program was hosted

by Sydney-based John Cadogan.

The Melbourne show is now expected to be national by mid-October.

Inquiries ■ Sunbury resident Trevor Dance has lodged 5000 inquiries with Humke City Council. The municipality has one staff member allocated to handling Mr Dance’s questions.

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Page 16 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Victoria Pictorial

VFL/AFL Grand Finals Historic Photo Collection

● 1957 rehearsal for GTV-9’s televised football coverage

● 1909 VFL grand final: Carlton v South Melbourne at the MCG

● South Melb. 9.17 (71) d Richmond 4.5 (29) for the 1933 flag

● 1968: Ron Barassi carried by jubliant Carlton players

● 1978 Grand Final: Field umpires and three Hawthorn players

● 1986: Hawthorn players take a victory lap of honour with the Cup

● 1961: 107,000 pack the MCG to see Hawthorn defeat Footscray

● 1982: Streaker Helen DAmico being led off the ground by Police

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au Melbourne

Observer

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, September 26, 2012 - Page 17

Showbiz Extra

Victorian Arts Centre launches program for 2013

■ It seems that with the re-opening of Hamer Hall, the Victorian Arts Centre is surging to the future with a new energy and a full program of events to make summer in the city enticing.

At the recent launch the ANZ Pavilion was transformed into a Melbourne bayside scene, complete with an old-fashioned beach cricket match, deck chairs for the media and fish and chips and gelati to feed them, with Arts Centre Chief Executive Judith Isherwood perched high up on a life saver's station to address her audience.

The summer season has a mix of ticketed and free events, with the aim being to have something cultural available every day of summer, for when people tire of the beach or seek some cool relief inside the arts centre.

"This year we have taken a helicopter view

JULIE HOUGHTON reports of the work we ourselves want to present, put it alongside the work that others bring, filled any gaps, and wrapped it up to make it easier for everyone else to be in the frame," Ms Isherwood said.

So that accounts for the wide variety in this year's season, which varies from orchestral performances and family events, to electronic music festivals and concerts from some big names in contemporary music.

Offerings around the Arts Centre this summer, range from hot contemporary muso Gotye and the popular Australia Day concerts, to Vision Australia's traditional Carols By Candlelight, and free concerts with the Melbourne

Symphony Orchestra at the Sidney Myer Music Bowl.

The big main stage show at the State Theatre will be coming from a successful West End season in London - that's Warhorse, the story of Joey, the beloved horse of a boy called Albert.

Joey is sold to the cavalry at the outbreak of World War I, and eventually Albert embarks on a treacherous mission to find Joey and bring him home. Warhorse involves both actors and life size puppets of horses, working together to create a magical stage experience.

To accompany the Warhorse season, which starts on December 23, there will be an exhibition in Arts Centre Melbourne Gallery 1 called War Horse and the Breath of Life, exploring the art of puppetry developed with the National Theatre of Great Britain, showing how pup-

pets are brought to life by artists, designers, puppeteers and actors.

From Monday January 7, in the Arts Centre Forecourt there will be Big Horse, a four-metre tall bamboo horse skeleton which will be decorated with thousands of flowers that can be made by children and families from recycled materials available in workshops on the forecourt.

For the littlies, Play School favourite Justine Clarke will be performing on Sunday December 16 in Justine Clarke's Pop Up Tour 2012, which is described as a 55-minute musical odyssey of fun.

From Thursday, January 3, children's theatre legend Garry Ginivan is bringing Giggle and Hoot and Friends to delight the youngsters, Turn To Page 39

Melbourne

Observer Life & Style

News Briefs

TIME TO SMELL THE COFFEE

Charges

■ Can there be anything better to alert our senses than the aroma of freshly brewed coffee pervading every corner of the house?

Now I understand why real estate agents suggest to those trying to sell their house that they brew some coffee or bake a loaf of bread so that the wonderful inviting aromas overwhelm the prospective buyers when they enter the front door.

It’s happening at our house. And so enticing is the smell of the coffee I’m expecting a neighbour any minute to wend her way into our house for a chat.

I’d wanted an espresso machine for ages, and when we saw just the one that a friend had recommended advertised at Aldi we put it on top of our shopping list and set off at what seemed like the crack of dawn to join the early shoppers.

This was something new for me. However, we bought one and couldn’t wait to get it home.

Yvonne’s Column

Using less of the oven

More brew than ever before ■ There it sat, this very elegant stream-lined black and chrome espresso machine on our kitchen bench waiting for us to read the directions.

Well that was easier said than done. The directions came in five different languages, one being fractured English, and the diagrams, intended to make things easy, just made them hopelessly complicated. So the new addition to my kitchen has sat unused on my kitchen bench for nearly two months.

Finally Peter decided to get it started or else it went to the Op Shop.

He did it. And this week it seems that I have consumed more coffee than in my entire lifetime, and made by my own personal Barista.

Peter discovered that by wiping the instructions from his mind, and just using good old common sense, producing the coffee was a doddle.

I have consumed so much caffeine I should be so hepped up that it’s a wonder I’m not doing everything at double speed. But it hasn’t happened.

Even Peter doesn’t think that I’m more alert.

Fate of trendy machines ■ Friends who enjoy a coffee and a cupcake are on my list for an afternoon coffee get-together as soon as I learn which button to press.

The machine does add something to the kitchen décor. I just hope that when the espresso fad passes that our black and chrome number, doesn’t suffer the fate of all those other trendy coffee makers that ended up in the in the hard rubbish collection over the years.

Perhaps it was too much coffee that prompted Peter to decide to feed our family of possums early and before the heavens opened. Alas, he waited too long.

Watching television I wasn’t really aware of how long he had been outside, but when I looked toward the doorway my eyes saw a damaged person clinging onto the doorframe. Not even being alert with all the coffee we had been drinking saved him.

Walking out the French door he slipped on the rain soaked decking and he went one way and the dish filled with the possum’s dinner went the other.

And of course that’s when his problem began.

hours of reading. And at most I have an outlay of one dollar.

Last week one of the magazines was Burke’s Backyard circa 1982. It was filled with a wealth of information.

I actually found the name of a plant that had grown itself beside the French doors. It grew to a great height with columns of deep crimson-red flowers. No one could help us.

Most said they though it was an Olive Oil tree, but dear old Don Burke told us it was Melianthus Major – a honey bush.

If you can ever find a Honey Bush, buy it because really it is an interesting addition to your garden, no extra watering once it is established, and the possums couldn’t care less about it.

with Yvonne Lawrence yvonne.lawrence@bigpond.com

Whistling for help ■ I couldn’t hear him call out to me. He hoped that Moosh who came to investigate would come and tell me, but it didn’t happen.

He lay there trying to extricate himself from banisters and large pot plants.

We had discussed how we could alert one another if I was at one end of the house, and he was at the bottom of the back garden.

We bought two way radios, but we could never remember to put them in our pocket when we went outside, and they sit, unused, some where in a box.

A bell wouldn’t be any good although it was ideal when he came home from hospital after his hip replacements.

I remembered I had bought a ‘Bobby’s’ whistle from an antique shop a few years ago. It was engraved Metropolitan Police London, and I kept it on a key ring with my door and car keys.

A whistle can keep you safe if you can get to it as soon as you sense danger. Anyhow I got my whistle and nearly blew Moosh out of the room with the noise.

So it was decided. Peter would have the Bobby’s whistle and I would buy one that umpires use.

It’s so easy to slip over, and you could be lying in the garden seriously hurt with only the birds for company.

And now we’ve got our whistles, hopefully we will never need to use them.

Wonderful stories for $1 ■ Browsing around Op Shops gives me great pleasure, more so, now that I have come to know the volunteers behind the counters, it has become even more special because I hear some wonderful stories.

Buying out of date gardening magazines gives me

■ When I’m in the waiting room of the dentist or doctor, I always take up one of the women’s magazines to read because I don’t buy them, and as sure as eggs I find an interesting article, and have to leave it when I’m called into the surgery.

So buying them at the Op Shop is an inexpensive and interesting way to catch up.

Once I read them I return them to the Op Shop and they are put on the shelves for resale.

There were tips on saving power, and I followed the tips faithfully until my power and gas bill were delivered. Not only had we not saved a cent, the bills had increased dramatically.

So it’s a wise move to use the oven less in favour of cooking on top of the stove.

Fantasising about cooking in the back garden by rubbing two sticks together over a Girl Guide open fire would most probably bring a fine because the smoke would upset the atmosphere and add carbon as well, thus hastening the end of civilisation as we know it. So that’s out.

Cooking, hot-box style ■ My husband is very patient and will go along with me with most things, but I can’t get him to experiment with ‘ hot box’ cooking.

My mother told me that during the war it was a great way of slow cooking, particularly if you put it on in the morning and when you came home that night the meal was cooked.

All you need is a wooden box, and some straw.

Sounds simple, but Peter just gives me one of those looks that only husbands can that says “ it aint never gonna happen.”

I’ve thought of surprising him by making one of his favourite casseroles.

And now that I can revitalise my friends with wholemeal cupcakes and put them on a caffeine high with my new espresso machine, I’m sure the buzz will extend to a ‘hot-box’ straw cooker experiment.

I bet Betty Jeffrey will know what I am talking about.

- Yvonne ● Contact: Melbourne Observer P.O.Box 1278, Research 3095. ● Radio 3WBC 94.1FM P.O Box 159, Box Hill 3128

■ Ambulance Victoria is publishing suburban press ads warning that a helicopter trip to trhe Royal Children’s Hospital from locations such as Mernda and Narre Warren could cost $8271 unless families are covered by $38.36 insurance cover.

Scammers

■ As well as online scams, Police are warning of old-fashioned con artists working door to door.

In the northern suburbs, people are pretending to be from the Darebin Council, or local electricity companies, for charging for work on properties.

One scam is to paint kerbside numbering, and say the $30 work was compulsory.

Charged ■ Tyler Mitchell, 24, of Sanctuary Lakes, has pleaded guilty to 45 charges after a six-week crime spree.

Mitchell admits stealing cars, credit cards and cash from Brighton homes.

Mitchell uis due to be sentenced today (Wed., Sept. 26) at Melbourne Magistrates’ Court.

Page 18 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, September 26, 2012

■ Apparently when the famous Hollywood agent Henry Willson set up a courtroom appearance in 1953 to rename his new client Robert Van Orden it was decided that the young actor's name would become John Smith.

The story goes that there were not too many Hollywood actors named John Smith at that time.

John Smith is best remembered for his roles in two television western series Cimarron City and Laramie.

Robert Errol Van Orden was born in Los Angeles, California, in 1931. He was a direct descendent of Peter Stuyvesant.

Robert grew up on a farm and rode horses bareback in rodeos when he was six years old.

When he was still at school he started singing in St Agatha's Parish Choir. He later joined the Bob Mitchell Boys Choir and sang with them in two Bing Crosby films: Going My Way and The Bells of St Mary's.

He just happened to call into the office of the Hollywood agent Henry Willson to see a friend when he was noticed by Henry and this led to a film contract.

Henry Willson had already discovered Rock Hudson, Tab Hunter and Troy Donahue. Their stage names were also invented by Henry.

John was very handsome, well built and six foot three.

John Smith had his first major film role in The High And The Mighty in 1954 working with

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Whatever Happened To ...

John Smith

By Kevin Trask of 3AW and 96.5 Inner FM John Wayne, Robert Stack, Karen Sharpe and Claire Trevor.

His film credits included We're No Angels, Friendly Persuasion, The Kettles On Old McDonald's Farm and Island Of Lost Women.

He was a regular cast member in the television series That's My Boy from 1954 to 1959.

John was in the western series Cimmaron City in 1958 where he shared the star billing with George Montgomery and Audrey Totter in alternating episodes.

During the filming he met actress Luanna Patten and they were married in 1960.

John and Luanna enjoyed sailing and water sports. John also was a keen deep sea diver.

After Cimmaron City finished he played Slim

● John Smith

Sherman in another television series Laramie.

I enjoyed Laramie when it was shown here in Australia.

Robert Fuller was his co-star and the series was in production until 1963.

In 1964 John and Luanna were divorced and John never married again. The couple still remained friends over the years.

He was a Catholic and very religious.

John Smith was cast in the John Wayne film Circus World but he and the director Henry Hathaway did not get on and apparently John's career went into decline at that point.

The roles dried up in the 1970s and he was not receiving royalties for his work in films and television.

Mary Brown became a very close friend during his later years.

Sadly John Smith died in Los Angeles in 1995 of cirrhosis of the liver at the age of 63.

- Kevin Trask The Time Tunnel - with Bruce & PhilSundays at 8.20pm on 3AW That's Entertainment - 96.5FM Sundays at 12 Noon 96.5FM is streaming on the internet.

To listen, go to www.innerfm.org.au and follow the prompts.

‘MISSED IT BY THAT MUCH’ ■ Although drink driving is a problem Australia wide, it is never more so than in the Northern Territory, as I often point out.

Usually the readings are preposterously high - one magistrate noted a couple of years ago to one drinker: "I am actually rather impressed - you haven't been before me for a while, and your reading is quite low for these parts." It was 0.175!

And then there are those drinkers, unfortunately all too many, who lose their sense of direction and location, and decide to just go to sleep on the highway.

This is obviously a highly dangerous habit, and usually ends tragically.

And occasionally, even though the whole scenario is literally deadly serious, some dark humour occasionally creeps in.

Such as when a lady was pulled up at a breath station recently in Darwin.

She only registered a relatively low reading - 0.071, but this must have affected her adversely, and gone straight to her head, because she hadn't noticed that her male passenger had fallen out of the car!

He was later discovered some way back, happily merely injured, at 2.30am, lying in the middle of the road.

One's mind boggles!

■ It's a while since I had anything to do with NT politics, and even then it was only to bump into various politicians in Alice Springs.

Unlike Victoria, where it is a rarity for the man in the street to encounter such individuals, it often happens in the NT. Tourism is the Territory's foremost industry, so I often rubbed shoulders with Paul Henderson, the Chief Minister, and his cabinet colleagues, at various tourism functions, and I got to know a few of them.

Paul would drop in to my shop every so often.

They just seemed like normal blokes to me, and enjoyed a drink and a chat.

So it didn't surprise me that Dave Tollner, a regular bloke who smokes, and has a drink driving record, has just been appointed as the Minister for Health and Alcohol Policy in the new NT Government!

And a mate of mine, Paul Hassett, was a mate of the then minister for the same portfolio in a previous government.

The Outback Legend

with Nick Le Souef Lightning Ridge Opals 175 Flinders Lane, Melbourne Phone 9654 4444 www.opals.net.au Territorians were drinking too much, as is always the case, so he wanted to introduce some legislation into the Parliament to address this and reduce consumption.

So they went to Krafty's (Overlanders' Steakhouse) for lunch, and officially formulated the wording for this new policy - over four bottles of red!

■ There is never a reptile far away anywhere in the NT! And so, because most people are still afraid of at least snakes, and of course crocs, reptile handlers are often in demand to relocate these creatures to safer habitats.

One such gentleman, Chris Pebedy, from Howard Springs, has just won the Pride of Australia Environment Medal for his conservation and education efforts.

Just like my mates Rex Niendorf and Justin Rutherford in Alice, he spends a lot of his time luring snakes out of toilets and aeroplane wings, and teaching people how to relocate reptiles instead of killing them, and rehabilitating injured reptiles.

And Justin came across an unusual situation the other day. A couple of German tourists encountered a Thorny Devil on the Stuart Highway as they were driving north.

Out of the misplaced goodness of their hearts they popped it in the car, and dropped it off at a wildlife rescue centre in Darwin.

Of course they only eat a few species of desert ant, munching on 1 to 2000 a day, and don't survive in a tropical climate - they just experience respitory problems and drop dead.

So they did the only thing they could - mailed it back down to Justin in Alice!

■ In 1935, at Gordonvale, in Queensland, a momentous event unfolded.

Some bright spark introduced Cane Toads into Australia, to eradicate the pesty Cane Beetle, which was munching away on the newly planted sugar cane.

Of course the toads hopped around on the ground, and the beetles crawled and flew around higher in the leaves, so the twain never met, and the whole idea was totally stupid, and totally ineffectual.

So now Australia was left with these evil-looking, voracious and poisonous amphibians to cope with.

And we haven't done a very good job yet!

So they've taken over the whole of the tropical north, and who knows, with Darwin's selection process of the ‘survival of the fittest’, they may make their way down to us. They've certainly started.

People have been using myriad methods to eradicate them for decades - some are humane, some are not.

‘Toad Golf’ isn't very humane, and neither is ‘Pop the Toad’ with one's tyres. Both a bit gruesome.

Now there's a spray can which has returned to Darwin shelves after a production glitch.

It's lemon scented, anaesthetises the creature, and it dies in about an hour. No fun in that, say the golfers!

■ Motorbikes are known for the sense of freedom and exhilaration which they engender in the rider.

Which is fine until you hit something, and the exhilaration quickly dissipates.

Last week, as occasionally happens, a motorcyclists came to grief

● Open slather on NT highways when he ploughed into wallaby which was hopping around on the highway.

This reminded me of a situation a few years ago when I was in Alice.

A young American, who had heard of the no-speed-limit in the NT, dropped in.

His plan was to fly to Darwin, purchase the biggest bike he could, and ride down to Alice at about a million miles an hour.

This was quite legal and permissible, if not totally wise.

My usual speed in the Patrol was about 150-kmh, and I would happily wave to a policeman as I passed him at this speed. But I was in the safety of my ‘cage’.

So this young chap had followed his plan, and his dream, and the first morning he was roaring down the Stuart Highway when he missed a kangaroo by an inch.

The rest of the journey - a sedate 80-kmh - Nick Le Souef ‘The Outback Legend’

From The Outer

Melbourne

Observer

kojak@ mmnet.com.au

With John Pasquarelli

■ Cory Bernardi sealed his fate when his comments on homosexual marriage seriously embarrassed Tony Abbott, allowing Malcolm Turnbull to beat the drum on behalf of his constituents in Wentworth - an electorate somewhat separated from mainstream Australia and more Labor/Green/Very Small Liberal these days.

For years the Libs have allowed the Greens to get away with blue murder - a fact compounded by their idiocy in preferencing the Greens until recently.

In 1996 The Greens was published, its authors Bob Brown and Peter Singer who was awarded an Order of Australia this year This book should have been well read by the Libs but that sadly is not the case.

Kevin Andrews did a good critique for Quadrant and puts the spotlight on Singer's influence on the Greens - “Singer charges that humans are guilty of 'speciesism' - that is preferring their own species over all others.

“It leads him to argue in favour of infanticide and doctor-assisted suicide on one hand and bestiality on the other, provided there is mutual consent!

In response to being asked a question concerning bestiality, Singer responded “I would ask, 'What's holding you back from a more fulfilling relationship?' (but) it's not wrong inherently in a moral sense” Has Malcolm Turnbull read this book?

- John Pasquarelli: kojak@mmnet.com.au