Men's Mental Health

MARCH 2019 | FUTUREOFPERSONALHEALTH.COM

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Men’s Mental Health Imagine Dragons singer

Dan Reynolds says that therapy has helped him — and can help everyone

DISCOVER what caused former NHL star Theo Fleury to get treatment for his addictions after childhood trauma

LEARN why the smallest wins represent huge victories when dealing with depression

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days to call after a first date

days to grow a decent beard

days to get mental health care

Last year, 94 million Americans had to wait longer than one week for mental health services*. The Quell Foundation is funding the next generation of mental health care professionals. Join the mission at thequellfoundation.org. *Cohen Veterans Network and National Council for Behavioral Health, 2018

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From the Navy to Mental Health Advocacy Kevin Lynch, CEO and President of The Quell Foundation, explains why you should ignore stigma when seeking mental health treatment.

What led you to form The Quell Foundation?

After serving 12 years with the U.S. Naval Submarine Force and a fulfilling career in the health care sector, I made my first call to the VA suicide hotline after a family tragedy left me reeling. I considered myself a pretty successful person, even sort of a tough guy, but at that moment, I felt that I had nothing.

My experiences drove me to create The Quell Foundation to create a pipeline of mental health care advocates in a stigma-free world.

What advice do you have for someone who wants to pursue therapy for the first time?

Finding the right therapist to address your specific needs and personality can take time.

Once you’ve found the right fit for you, the benefits of therapy quickly outweigh the frustrations you may have initially experienced.

What advancements has the foundation made in the mental health world?

We’re providing academic scholarships for students enrolled in an accredited mental health-related degree program. We‘re distributing awards to scholars who have a mental health diagnosis or have lost a loved one to suicide.

How is The Quell Foundation breaking down the stigma surrounding mental illness?

We’re currently gearing up for the next chapter in our groundbreaking documentary series, “Lift the Mask,” which provides insight into the lives and experiences of first responders, their families and the lives they touch through their service.

Let’s Flip the Script on Men’s Mental Health The media hasn't been doing its job too well when it comes to reporting on and portraying men with mental health conditions. There are real reprocussions.

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ver the last few years, talking about mental health has gotten a little easier. Some can say it’s become trendy to be open about mental health. But the reality is that the shame around mental illness is still prevalent — even more so for men.

Approximately 6 million men have depression each year, 19 million deal with anxiety and 1 in 5 men develop alcohol dependency during their lives. According to the CDC, suicide is on the rise among middle-aged men.

Looking at MHA’s Online Screening Program data, of the men who take the depression screen: • Only 28 percent say they’ll discuss their results with a family member, friend or professional • O ne in 3 who screen positive say they do not plan to take any action • O nly 21 percent say they’ll seek treatment Overall with male screeners: • Sixty-nine percent who screen positive have never been diagnosed with a mental health condition • S ixty-two percent have never received any mental health treatment or support

their fans that it’s OK to ask for help.

It’s a start.

Erin Wallace Chief Communications Officer, Mental Health America

The failure of "suck it up" Men are notorious for ”sucking it up” rather than admitting they may need help. Unfortunately it’s something that's making them sick.

It’s important that men, young and old, are taught that it’s OK to seek help. The celebrities they look up to and the shows and movies they watch can also go a long way in breaking down the stigma. Shows like “A Million Little Things” and “One Day at a Time” are portraying male characters with mental health or substance abuse issues in real and authentic ways. The film “Beautiful Boy” highlights the addiction of a young man and the toll it takes on family. And athletes like Brandon Marshall and Kevin Love have shown

How the media can help The impact and influence of media on the complex issues of mental health cannot be understated. The media should be accountable when they default to the tired — and factually inaccurate — cliché that a man who has a mental illness is always violent or that a guy with a drinking problem is a lost cause. Just as a story arc talking about mental illness can help, inaccurate messaging and short-sighted storylines can also contribute to, and perpetuate, the destructive discrimination of people living with mental illness — and recovering.

Until men can see and recognize themselves on TV or film, it will be hard to convince them that it’s OK to not be OK. More examples of complex male characters dealing with addiction and depression are needed.

It’s an encouraging sign that more television shows and movies are taking steps to portray mental illness and substance use in real and authentic ways. Let’s hope it’s a trend that sticks around. n

Publisher Jordan Zauderer Business Developer Gretchen Pancak Managing Director Luciana Olson Designers Tiffany Pryor, Keziah Makoundou Copy Editor Jeremy Binckes Director of Sales Shannon Ruggiero Director of Business Development Jourdan Snyder Director of Product Faye Godfrey Lead Editor Mina Fanous Production Manager Josh Rosman Content Strategist Vanessa Rodriguez Cover Photo Maxwell Poth All photos are credited to Getty Images unless otherwise specified. This section was created by Mediaplanet and did not involve USA Today.

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The Manly Thing to Do Is to Get the Help You Need Many men suffer from mental health issues. It’s not a weakness, but an opportunity to heal, grow and get stronger.

Millions of men struggle with mental health issues including, but not limited to, depression, anxiety, panic disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder. While less common, personality disorders and attention deficit disorder often go undiagnosed until adulthood, when primary and secondary education — as well as childhood and adolescent relationships — have suffered.

This prevents success in adult relationships and employment. Historically, addressing mental health issues in men has carried an unfavorable stigma, making men less likely to seek help or counseling. In some cultures, masculinity factors won't allow a man to discuss his feelings and concerns. It prevents appropriate treatment for psychiatric illness.

A weight on their shoulders As a man, you’re never at your best when the burden of mental illness weighs you down.

Optimal mental health allows men to achieve greatness on many levels in their personal and professional lives. Mental illness can have a profoundly negative impact on work productivity, relationships, finances, hobbies and overall health. Men with mental health disorders have higher rates of complication and death from common chronic diseases such as atherosclerotic heart disease, diabetes mellitus and cancer.

Men continue to have higher rates of substance abuse and dependence, suicide and unemployment than women. This can cause, or be caused by, mental health issues. Veterans are at an extraordinarily elevated risk of mental health issues, often with limited resources and opportunities for engagement with a mental health professional who understands their unique needs and circumstances. Gay, bisexual and transgender men are more than three times as likely to experience a major psychological condition than the rest of the population — often hampered by the fear of disclosure and facing discrimination.

Many great resources are available to help men with mental health concerns. It’s time to do the true manly thing: Talk to your primary care provider today and the get the help you need and deserve.

Joel J. Heidelbaugh, M.D., President-Elect, American Society for Men’s Health

How I Turned My OCD Into Inspiration for Others that point on, I have been able to talk about it openly and hopefully help people going through the same darkness that I experienced.

Ben Aaron, Co-Host, Pickler & Ben

I was scared and embarrassed about my OCD. Now I want to help others thrive.

I was never open about my mental health journey, because not talking about my obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) was part of my OCD. I thought that if I discussed any facet of my mental illness with anyone, bad things would happen. In that way, my OCD was a lot like "Fight Club": The first rule of fight club was to never talk about fight club. It was also similar because, in the end, I was just fighting myself.

E ve r y t h i n g c h a n g e d w h e n I met my wife, who was open about her own mental health issues and encouraged me to share mine. We were getting serious about our relationship, and one night we had “the talk” in which we both admitted every dark secret — every embarrassing detail about our lives to each other — so there would be no surprises moving forward. My OCD was one of those topics. She gave me the comfort to explain my situation without feeling judged. From

My dark times When I was in the thick of my OCD, every day was a bad day. Simple tasks like brushing my teeth or folding a shirt became several hours long.

I once fell asleep at a light switch because I spent so much time trying to turn it off correctly.

My coping mechanism was usually to physically run away from an object and hope someone saw me so the embarrassment would prevent me from going back. When a friend or relative would ask what I was doing, this would force me to come up with an excuse, then move on.

My fight It all changed when I found a way to cope: I essentially had to turn my OCD against itself. Before it was: If I turn this switch correctly something good will happen. Now, it's: If I don’t worry about that switch being turned correctly, how do I know that something even better will happen? Eventually, I stopped worrying about it.

Unfortunately, my OCD will never go away. There are still rituals I comply with or songs I won’t listen to out of fear, but I’ve turned the truly time-consuming aspects of my OCD against themselves.

Daily struggles OCD is a very lonely disorder. You’re attempting to maintain control through a series of rituals. No

one ever helped or supported me, because I hid the severity for more than 20 years because I was embarrassed and afraid to speak about it.

Being in the spotlight hasn’t really affected my mental health at all.

When I first started on TV it was a constant hurdle. I was worried that if I didn’t complete a ritual properly, I wouldn’t perform on camera to the best of my ability. There were many days that I wouldn’t leave the TV station until the early morning because my OCD thrived when no one was around.

I find that being on camera is one of the few times I forget about everything and just live in the moment, because there’s no time for OCD when I’m focusing on the guest that’s on or the dish I’m cooking. I’m proud to be in the spotlight with my disorder, because I can help others.

An ally I always find it amusing when I meet someone with OCD and they are surprised that I have it. It's as if someone with this disorder can’t excel because it takes total control of you. I want people to know that there are tons of other folks, especially in our business, who have it and are OK. You are not alone and there is help.

Wh e n I b e ca me comfor ta b le talking about my OCD, I met this 13-year-old girl who had it. We started talking and I saw so much fear in her because she was in the thick of it. I remember my eyes teared up a little because I saw myself at 13, scared out of my mind with no one to talk to. I want to be that person to talk to. n

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Why Dan Reynolds Thinks You Should See a Therapist Imagine Dragons frontman Dan Reynolds has demons, but he’s fighting them with self-care and his support system. In recent years, he’s been using his platform to raise awareness of mental health issues and to encourage others to fight their own demons, too.

“Growing up, I thought seeing a therapist was something only weak people did. So when I was dealing with depression, I didn’t tell anybody about it because I didn’t want to have a therapist — because then I’m that kid,” Reynolds says.

“And that means I’m broken.” In addition to anxiety and depression, Reynolds is fighting two autoimmune diseases.

“But it doesn’t mean you’re broken,” he says.

“It means you’re incredibly wise and strong and mature, and taking steps to be a stronger, better human being.”

Changing the tune Reynolds shares his story through social media and on the stage, where he feels calm. At each show on their last tour, Imagine Dragons played a stripped-down version of their song “Demons,” while Reynolds discussed anxiety, depression and his experiences seeing a therapist. He encourages other celebrities to follow suit.

“It takes very little effort for me to talk one minute about it, but when we get to talk about it in every major city around the world, it slowly etches away hopefully at de-stigmatizing it," Reynolds says. "I think just using your platform is what I would say to any artist.”

That vulnerability has helped Reynolds overcome days when he’s been “existing in a

gray sphere.” He turns to meditating to quiet his mind, working out to exhaust his body and doing yoga to get out of his head. “I have ankylosing spondylitis and ulcerative colitis, and the one thing that really helps me keep my anti-inflammatory issues down and in check is to keep my blood moving every day and be very active — or else my body gets really inflamed and I deal with a lot of arthritis issues,” he says.

Encouraging therapy for all The biggest improvement for Reynolds’ health came after he began seeing a therapist. “I believe everybody should have a therapist,” Reynolds says. “The worst that’s going to happen is maybe you go to the therapist and maybe it’s not the right therapist for you. And still, you’ll make one more call and go see another therapist. But it’s only going to help, first of all. And second of all, nothing is more important than your mental health. Nothing.”

A father of three, Reynolds says he believes every child should see a therapist, too, because the process offers a safe space for a person to express their thoughts. “I think it’s really important that children feel that it is a normal part of their everyday life to talk with someone they trust about their feelings and to have someone to go to to discuss their feelings,” he says.

Reynolds knows that everyone will have to deal with peaks and valleys, but wants everyone to understand that they won’t be alone in their journey if they don’t want to be. “I understand how it feels to be in a state of numbness and grayness, and feeling like there is no sun, there is no relief, there is no breath of fresh air,” he says.

“I would say to that person, ‘I promise you it is available to you. It is there. Hang on.’” n Melinda Carter

PHOTO MAXWELL POTH

Going to a therapist means “you’re taking steps to be a stronger, better human being.”

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Confronting Suicide in America: Getting Men to Reach Out for Help Our society isn’t doing as much as it should to ensure that people are getting the help they need, and it shows.

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uicide is a major public health issue in our nation. In 2017, suicide took the lives of 47,173 Americans, making it the 10th leading cause of death in the United States.

Men accounted for 78 percent of these tragic deaths.

Why are the majority of suicides in men?

Men are likely to use more lethal means, such as firearms, when making suicide attempts — and, therefore, more likely to die. Men are also less likely to seek help when feeling depressed and hopeless. Only 28 percent of men, compared with more than 50 percent of women, were receiving mental health treatment at the times of their deaths.

Far too few people seek or receive the help they need. Data from the National Household Survey on Drug Use and Health tell us that more than one-third of individuals who made a suicide attempt either did not receive mental health treatment or did not perceive a need to do so.

There are many reasons individuals cite for not seeking help. These include denial of the severity of a mental health problem and the belief that the problem can be handled without treatment. Even those who have taken steps to engage with a suicide hotline often do not think they need treatment.

More than half of suicidal National Lifeline callers reported these as reasons they did not access a mental health resource after receiving a referral for one.

As the leading agency for mental and substance use disorders in the United States,

the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) prioritizes addressing suicide. More than $70 million in funding goes to support community, college campus and state efforts to implement suicide prevention strategies. Most recently, SAMHSA has invested in a program which focuses on adult suicide.

We must do all we can to educate individuals and families about warning signs of suicide. We must also educate our health care practitioners so that citizens across our nation will receive the care and support they need when that bold and critical step to seek help is made. That is why SAMHSA has prioritized training of health care professionals, families and communities through efforts such as the Mental Health Technology Transfer Centers, Clinical Support System for Serious Mental Illness and Suicide Prevention Resource Center.

Help is available. The federal government is paying close attention to this major public health issue and stands ready to partner with communities and states across the country to get our citizens the evidence-based, high-quality care they need.

If you or someone you care about is thinking about suicide, please reach out to a health care professional, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273TALK (8255) or find help at findtreatment. samhsa.gov. n Dr. Elinore F. McCance-Katz, Assistant Secretary, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

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Former NHL Player Theo Fleury Reveals How He Beat Addiction T

heo Fleury has a saying that has helped keep him clean for over 13 years: “You’re only as sick as your secrets.”

The 13-year National Hockey League veteran, a seven-time All-Star, has both a Stanley Cup championship and an Olympic gold medal. But during his entire celebrated career, the longtime Calgary Flames star was carrying around secrets that were making him sick “physically, emotionally and spiritually” on a daily basis. Facing a stigma that equates men seeking help with weakness, Fleury has decided to open up.

“The beginning was to tell my story and then choose a path of healing,” he says.

Overcoming trauma’s effects In his 2009 autobiography “Playing with Fire,” Fleury shares that he began drinking alcohol at age 16 to cope with the childhood trauma of being sexually abused by convicted sex offender and former junior hockey coach Graham James. Fleury indulged in other addictions — “drugs, gambling, sex” — to cope with the trauma, he says.

“I’ve really come to dislike the word ‘addiction’ because it has a lot of stigma and shame attached to it,” he says. “It wasn’t my addiction that I was struggling with.

The addiction was a coping mechanism that I was using to manage my mental health issues.”

A breaking point Fleury chose to overhaul his routine after the Chicago Blackhawks suspended him in April 2003. “I knew I was gonna die, and I didn’t want to die,” Fleury says. “And I knew I was better than what I was showing the world, so I had to take control of my life. I had to make changes to every single aspect of my life.”

After his autobiography was released, Fleury was surprised by his readers’ reactions. “I got run over by people who either shared the same experience or had addiction problems or mental health issues,” he says, “and it sort of organically morphed into me speaking and being in the middle of all of this.”

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A childhood trauma turned into mental health issues that plagued a former NHL star for much of his adult life.

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Inspiring hope Today, Fleury follows a strict daily routine: He wakes up, meditates, exercises and tries to “find one person that needs help every day and I help them.” He recommends YouTube as a resource for mindfulness and exercise inspiration.

Also critical has been forming new relationships. “It’s all about relationships, and the most effective kind I’ve discovered is getting a bunch of people in a room and sitting them around in a circle, which then creates safety,” he says.

“Once you have safety in the room, that’s when the magic of healing happens.”

The most important relationship in Fleury’s life has been with himself. “I always ran away from

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myself with addictive behaviors,” he says. “When I started to have a relationship with myself, my life completely changed and my mental health symptoms started to go away or were less intense.”

The resulting clarity has helped motivate Fleury to aid others in their journey to recovery. “What I realized is trauma, mental health and addiction are the biggest epidemics on the planet, and that my experience wasn’t unique — that I was in the majority and not the minority,” Fleury says. “I knew that through my experience of all of this that I could now help people get on a path of healing and recovery.” n Melinda Carter

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How to Cope With Depression, One Day at a Time Sometimes, a small achievement is all you need to get on the right track.

As men, we are faced with hard emotional and mental times in life. Frequently we become paralyzed in our depressive state. By not being proactive, we put ourselves in a worse place.

Because it's not socially acceptable for men to speak about their feelings, we dig into ourselves and shut down. If we don’t learn how to overcome or work through this, depression, loneliness and suicide usually are the next things to come knocking at our door.

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Psychiatric Patients Are Suffering From Our Mental Health System

Small wins Something that is not taught often is the impact external actions have on the internal state of men. Every small win gives us a little shot of dopamine — a feel-good brain chemical that is linked with feelings of motivation. Use that fact as a weapon to start chipping away if you're feeling unmotivated and depressed.

What motivation looks like Here are a few practical things you can do to start building up small wins in your life and feel some of that beautiful dopamine.

• Make your bed • Wake up a little earlier • Start to work out • Work on your posture • Try a new hobby • Talk to a random person at the grocery store • Fly a kite • Change a tire • C reate a to-do list of things you have been meaning to get to, then do something on the list every few days • Get a haircut • Take a shower • Clip your fingernails • Do the dishes • Clean your room or house Doing these simple things can really help if you're struggling with depression, loneliness and a lack of motivation.

The biggest key is to be persistent with finding and achieving these small wins. It can be as simple as finding a new hat to wear or applying for a job.

Find the small things you can do that will give you the hit of achievement dopamine you need.

Timothy Wenger, Founder, The Man Effect

An inefficient health care system is hurting Americans who need the most help. It's time to demand action.

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merica’s mental health treatment system is broken. Those most in need struggle to find care, frequently ending up homeless, victimized or incarcerated. Even bedrock aspects of the system are now completely dysfunctional. The crisis-level shortage of psychiatric treatment beds is a prime example, and one that has tragic consequences.

One in 30 American adults — 8.3 million people — experience severe and persistent mental illnesses such as schizophrenia or severe bipolar disorder. On any given day, 40 percent go untreated.

In a functional system, these individuals would receive timely and effective treatment long before they are critically ill, as we expect for other diseases.

Unfortunately, such a system of mental health care does not exist in the United States. Even more cruelly, severe psychiatric diseases often render those most in need of care unable to accept treatment, even when it is available. Such individuals typically require intensive services in a hospital — the exact services that our system most frequently fails to provide.

The number of state hospital beds in the United States has plummeted, decreasing almost 97 percent from 1955 to the current lowest level on record.

No state in the country has the minimum of 50 beds per 100,000 people necessary to provide adequate treatment for individuals with severe mental illness. Not one.

Even after adding the treatment beds at our country’s private hospitals, the number of beds per capita remains shamefully low.

This bed shortage has set off a domino effect of unmet need from coast to coast.

First responders drown in mental health calls. Emergency rooms grow overcrowded with people in the throes of psychosis. Chronic homelessness plagues our cities large and small.

Meanwhile, the most acutely ill individuals suffer. Some become violent or, more often, the victims of violence. As their conditions deteriorate, their families and caregivers buckle under the stress.

Many people with severe mental illness are criminalized — jailed merely for being ill. At least 10 times more people with severe mental illness are in prisons and jails than in state mental hospitals, a circumstance widely attributed to the lack of available treatment beds.

Too many of these tormented individuals ultimately take their own lives.

The psychiatric bed shortage crisis affects us all, and its disastrous consequences worsen with neglect.

It is time for policymakers to get serious about making inpatient beds more available and accessible.

We must stop dooming people experiencing severe mental illness to needless suffering. We should give them a bed instead. n John Snook, Executive Director, Treatment Advocacy Center

If you are ready to find relief and resolution, please give us a call today.

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