Pride - Q2 - Jul 2019 by Mediaplanet UK&IE

Pride Q2 / 2019

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‘Bobby’s Bill’ to sharpen up laws against online homophobic abuse

INTERVIEW WITH: BOBBY NORRIS TV Personality and Campaigner

people go through that. That’s why I’ve campaigned and spoken out against it and why change has to happen.”

For many gay men and women, being abused for the way they are is their normality. That is no longer good enough in 2019, argues TOWIE’s Bobby Norris.

Policing online abuse shouldn’t be that hard At present, attacks due so someone’s sexuality can be dealt with by police if they occur at home, at school or in the workplace. However, the online abuse that’s so common with social media playing an increasingly prominent role in our lives, is much harder to deal with, meaning people often suffer in silence. Bobby can’t understand why any right-thinking MP wouldn’t vote in favour of making the proposed change. “Why online abuse is a grey area, I don’t know. So much of our lives are spent online now – and frankly our laws need to reflect that.” “If I was to walk down Oxford Street and threaten to kill someone, you’d expect that to be investigated, wouldn’t you?”

or Bobby Norris, an openly gay 32-year-old man and a star of ITV’s reality show, ‘The Only Way Is Essex’, homophobic abuse is part and parcel of everyday life. Receiving both online and offl ine attacks purely due to his sexuality is normal for Bobby, with online trolls often describing how they’d like to kill him. “I’ve been sent death threats, really graphic stuff. People saying they’re going to stab me with an eight-inch machete or an 11-inch machete. I don’t know why they’re so obsessed with inches!” Despite his playful tone (perhaps a coping mechanism to dampen the effects of such vile abuse), Bobby knows that, for those less well supported or able to cope, being singled out for your sexuality can have a devastating effect on both the individual and those close to them. That’s why he’s trying to ensure that, in future, the law will protect victims of similar abuse. His online petition to make online homophobic abuse a criminal offence has now reached over 150,000 signatures, meaning parliament will now debate what’s been dubbed ‘Bobby’s Bill’ on the 1st of July and have the opportunity to enshrine it in law. Helping parents of homophobic abuse victims After receiving messages from parents whose children had either taken their own lives or come close to doing so because of the online homophobic abuse they’d been subjected to, Bobby asked himself what he could do given the platform and voice his fame affords him. “Because I’m 32, when I do get abused on the street for walking around with a Louis Vuitton handbag or whatever, it ain’t my first rodeo in terms of getting homophobic abuse. I’ve been through it before.” “But some don’t have that experience on their side. People get to thinking there is no way out; that they’re alone and isolated. I don’t think it’s fair that

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It’s hard to escape messages on your phone Bobby knows that our phones and social media can be a huge force for good, but they also mean that going home is no longer an escape from those looking to inflict harm. The message to the trolls from Bobby is clear. Change is coming and he won’t stop until he feels people are adequately protected. “Ironically, the abuse I’ve received has intensified since I started the petition. I think the trolls know this is their last roll of the dice.” His advice to those either suffering themselves or those who are close to someone who’s been targeted? Don’t accept being alone in your struggle. “Anyone out there who is going through that online abuse: speak about it. Whether it’s a mate, your parents. Speak to someone. You’re so not alone! So many people go through that same self-doubt you’re feeling, but it can get better. Keep being proud of who you are.” Written by: James Alder

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The power of businesses in LGBT+ inclusion Businesses have a duty to create inclusive spaces for their employees and now, more than ever, they’re upping their game.

t INvolve we’ve worked with over 100 major businesses from across a range of industries, supporting them on their inclusion journeys. Working across ethnic minority, LGBT+ and gender inclusion, we know that people don’t just fit one box, and that the drive for inclusion needs everybody to be on board. Businesses have a duty to create inclusive spaces, ensure that all their employees advocate for equality in society and are vocal and proactive on issues that are central to the communities they serve. More than ever, businesses are working harder to create these environments, but there is always more work to be done. So, what can businesses do` to ensure inclusivity? When staff feel supported, they are naturally more productive. It’s easy to hire diverse staff – but if they don’t feel included, don’t expect them to perform or even stick around. Affinity networks and employee groups show that your business means business when it comes to supporting minorities. If there isn’t an affinity network in place, look into setting one up! Encourage your HR & Leadership team to implement formal processes and develop

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resources for staff to help them understand the importance of difference. It’s also important to profile role models; senior leaders who are vocal in their support of (or experience of) being in a minority group speaks volumes within an organisation. All together now! Minorities have a shared understanding of what it’s like to feel left out, or be treated unfairly. That’s why we encourage businesses to bring together their affi nity groups to learn from and support one another. LGBT+, race, gender, religious networks are all fantastic! But it’s important to not let them sit in silos. People have complex identities, which mean they might tick multiple boxes. By focusing on diverse characteristics in isolation, you’ll be missing crucial learnings and excluding people who don’t fit in just one box. Of course, they’re important as standalone groups, but cross-over events, shared learnings and support really accelerate the wider inclusion conversation. Don’t forget to engage allies and advocates – as the majority, they have the privilege and position of power to be able to support and amplify minority voices.

SUKI SANDHU OBE Founder & CEO, INvolve

Build a robust trans inclusion strategy We’re at a difficult point in time. tThe trans community is under attack from the media and suffering a breakdown of legal protections, in and out of the workplace, and we must step up to support these individuals. In business, awareness and education is essential for tackling stigma while encouraging safe, supportive environments for trans colleagues. Having a robust trans inclusion strategy, proactively raising awareness and developing comprehensive benefits is essential, regardless of whether an organisation knows it has trans employees. Some organisations have taken a step further by taking a public stand against transphobia. We’re not done yet Most importantly, we have to keep pushing forward. LGBT people – defend and support your trans colleagues. Straight people – stand proud for your LGBT+ colleagues. White people – demand equality for those from ethnic minorities. Men – vocally support equality for women. We all have a part to play in the journey towards inclusion. Read more at globalcause.co.uk

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What is facial feminisation?

Not all facial shapes are alike; some males and females have square faces, long faces, round faces, concave or convex faces. But, what is uppermost in a transwoman’s mind is to be able to avoid the ‘double take’ because an observer has noted something incongruous in her facial appearance.

n short, the bone is heavier in the male. The brain is programmed to differentiate between a male and a female face so, not surprisingly, your facial appearance following puberty is arguably the most important component of your body for identifying your sex to the casual observer. The male face grows downwards and forwards, the brow becomes more protuberant, the face is larger, with a larger lower third of the face, a more prominent nose and heavier facial bones. Males also have facial hair, thicker skin and male pattern hairline. The male brow is a different shape to the female brow. The bone is heavier in the male and the rim of the eye socket lower, the combined effect is to make the brow lower and the eyes appear deeper and relatively stern compared to the female. Brow recontouring is a commonly performed procedure to feminise the male brow. Certain facial features are regarded as cues There are certain facial features that are regarded as cues in identifying the sex of an individual – for example, a square chin. However, there are plenty of attractive women with square chins and strong jawlines so it is too simplistic to identify individual facial features and assume that, with surgery, an individual will appear more feminine.

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BRIAN MUSGROVE Facial Plastic Surgery Specialist, Facial Plastic Surgery

There are several techniques for reducing the volume of the lower face. The skeletal structure of the lower face comprises the upper and lower jaw, which vary in shape and size, particularly noticeably so between the male and female. There are other facial features that might attract the observer’s attention. An obvious one is facial hair, but this can be managed with electrolysis, for example. The texture of the skin is another, and this can be improved with oestrogen therapy. A strong profile is considered masculine A strong profile is considered masculine and attractive in the male, but some women prefer a less prominent nasal profile. The distinction between male and feminine faces is that of proportion. A nose that contributes to a strong facial profile might be interpreted as masculine in appearance. The male pattern hairline can be adjusted to reduce temporal recession and lower the hairline through an incision at the front of the hairline. Reshaping of the hairline is often included as part of a brow recontouring operation by adjusting the incision used for this procedure. The female eye socket is rounder than in the male and the highest point of the female cheekbone is relatively lower than in the male. The female face has more subcu-

taneous fat than the male face and appears rounder and softer. Cheek implants and fat grafting can be used to enhance the cheeks. A prominent Adam’s apple is immediately interpreted as a masculine feature, so it is not surprising that transwomen feel very embarrassed if it is visible. Fortunately, this can be easily reduced with a small operation performed as a day-case. Over the last 20 years, there has been a considerable improvement in the number of physicians providing support to the transgender community, not least in the number of surgeons providing facial feminising surgery (FFS). However, FFS is still not recognised as a core treatment and, as such, is not readily available in the NHS in England.

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50 years later: on the outside looking in Lady Phyll, the co-founder and executive director of UK Black Pride, on the whitewashing of LGBTQ history, the danger of the ubiquitous call to ‘be yourself’ for QTIPOC and the need for more substantive allyship from within the LGBTQ community.

he modern LGBTQ liberation movement is littered with glittering stories of triumphant white people marching down the corridors of power towards wins in marriage and adoption, but what of those of us for whom marriage was never the goal, for whom access to jobs, housing and the right to live violence-free lives were the priority? As we continue in what feels like a never-ending fight for our humanity, it feels more important than ever to dig into history to unearth our stories — stories that, while submerged and forgotten, have been fuelling the modern LGBTQ liberation movement. Being told to ‘be yourself’ is too simplistic; we need more support Part of unearthing our stories allows for the reshaping of dominant narratives, like the clarion call to come out and to ‘be authentic’. The very idea that ‘being ourselves’ can be a form of activism is steeped in privilege, indicative of life in a white and western world. For Black people and people of colour, particularly our transgender and nonbinary siblings, ‘being ourselves’ is to court violence. For many, ‘being ourselves’ is about daring to exist outside of other people’s ideas of us. We’re not all fighting the same fight. Sure, we are part of a collective movement, but this movement long ago spouted tentacles and began to slide off in different, disparate and often confl icting directions. We need to keep figuring out how to be better allies to others in our community.

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LADY PHYLL Co-founder & Executive Director, UK Black Pride

Discrimination is worse for queer people who are Black or of colour Marriage equality is good, but does not prevent our Black trans siblings from winding up dead in hotel rooms. Coming out in the workplace is good, if you can get a job in the first place. Being ourselves is daring and it is brave. It is certainly courageous. But when the businesses take down their pride flags after pride month and as people slot back into their quotidian routines, are we safe to be ourselves? Not often. Angela Davis says: “The importance of doing activist work is precisely because it allows you to give back and to consider yourself not as a single individual, but as part of an ongoing historical movement.” When we speak of allyship, of asking those in positions different from ours to listen and to act accordingly, we can forget that allyship is needed within the community, too. Prejudice can come from within LGBTQ communities So much of the violence and discrimination we experience as queer Black people comes from other LGBTQ people. Many in the community applaud when Black people and people of colour are themselves, when that self aligns with who they think we should be, but don’t act in our interests when it really matters. What we see today, writ large, is a continued misreading of history and a narrow view of the present. When others within our community – but outside

our experience – ask us to reflect on 50 years since Stonewall, I see people on the outside looking in. I see the names of our fallen trans siblings and the 49 we lost at Pulse. I see the outrageous transphobia and harassment of people on the streets. I see the clear and present danger that’s always been here. I wonder how much of the insight we provide into what these 50 years have meant for queer people of colour really strikes at the heart. Queer people of colour are underrepresented There was so much that led to the Stonewall Uprising. What we've seen since then, as queer people of colour, is the erasure of our contributions, the minimising of our experiences and the silencing of our voices. We've seen the needs and desires of cis gay white men and women prioritised over all else and the continued violence visited upon the most vulnerable in our communities. I think, in asking us to look back, we may be wondering where it went wrong — the point of divergence from what mattered for all of us to what was beneficial for a few. I think what we can learn from the uprising is everything we've learned after it: until the most marginalised among us are free, none of us are free. Read more at globalcause.co.uk MEDIAPLANET

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Trans people aren’t the monsters you’ve read about - but we need your help to come in from the cold How many people reading this have been attacked by a transgender woman? Or a sex offender pretending to be transgender? Come on, hands up. Don’t be shy!

here must be loads of you out there. Because according to the British press and certain internet sites, trans people have been leaving a trail of havoc around the country in the last few years. Trying on frocks in changing rooms, using public toilets, insisting on appropriate pronouns. Terrorism, I tell ya! No wonder we’re currently up there with ISIS as a clear and present danger to modern society. The most dangerous thing I’ve ever done is wear a horizontal striped top, with vertical striped trousers. Which, admittedly, was quite offensive. But surely nowhere near a bad enough crime to justify the current level of hysteria that exists about just 1% of the UK population? It’s a fact that you’re almost as likely to meet an Eskimo as a trans person. So why are we so vilified? Trans people are invisible in the media – even in 2019 The truth is that trans visibility and awareness in the UK in 2019 is nothing short of a national disgrace. We are invisible - and my profession bears the bulk of the blame. Newspapers - along with one particularly well-known ‘parenting’ website - have been fanning the flames of hate; demonising an already extremely marginalised section of society. It breaks my heart saying all of the above - because

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media people usually pride themselves on being champions of fairness, difference and equality, but with transgender people, there’s been an inexcusable dereliction of duty. We are the dog that can still openly be kicked or laughed at. I truly don’t understand it. Trans stories are almost exclusively negative The only time you ever see a trans woman in a newspaper or on the radio or television is when they are put in the dock of public opinion to justify their very existence. Trans men fair slightly better, but they too are still misunderstood. There are no mainstream trans newspaper columnists, radio hosts, TV presenters, MPs, high profile business people… Nothing. From an entire country. In 2019. Embarrassing. It’s got to stop. Because, whether we like it or not, the tone of the media has a direct impact on our lives. No wonder nearly half of all trans people experience mental health issues; not from being trans, but from being trans - but from a world that views them as suspicious, weird and potentially dangerous. A world where they quite literally don’t have a voice. A subject to be discussed by others, but without any trans people at the table. Doors tend to close following transition It takes immense courage to stand up and tell everyone

INDIA WILLOUGHBY Broadcaster

you are different. We know that, when we take that step, we are risking everything we hold precious in life. Work opportunities are reduced. Family and friends can abandon us following transition. Seeing someone you love become someone else is tough. The world shrinks, and generally becomes a lonelier, more hostile place. It’s not something trans people by themselves can overcome. You need to support us to normalise transgenderism We need allies to bring us in from the cold. Colleagues and friends who stand by us; who treat us as normal, regular men and women. Who speak up when they see something online or in real life that’s clearly motivated by ignorance or hate in the same way that most people no longer tolerate open racism. Whatever industry or profession you are in, you can be at the forefront of helping transgender people finally be accepted as ordinary people. I promise you; we are just ordinary people, with mums and dads, brothers and sisters. Children. We have feelings. If you work with someone who identifies as transgender, please, support them. You’ll reap the benefits tenfold. Read more at globalcause.co.uk

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Are we there yet? It is important for society to reflect on key moments of history. It is how we learn, monitor progress and set new ambitions.

or LGBT+ communities, a key moment of historical reflection is upon us — the Stonewall riots. A time where enough was enough and our communities stood strong together. We have much to thank those brave people for and we owe it to them to keep that activism and passion thriving 50 years on… That means all of us, whether we are LGBT+ ourselves, an employer, an ally or a friend or family member. While we reflect, we also find ourselves in our new Stonewall moment. As we face further persecution and community attacks it can seem daunting to know what we can do to bring about change, and how we can do it effectively. But, by drawing together our passion, our desire for inclusion and our drive for positive change, we have an opportunity to make LGBT+ lives healthier, safer and happier than ever before. From primary school, through careers and into senior life, our voices need to be heard Being LGBT+ doesn’t defi ne our whole selves, and nor should it. It is one part of what makes us ‘us’ and those other parts are equally important. Therefore, from early years to being part of the workforce to being part of an older generation, we exist and should be present. Teaching that different families exist doesn’t harm a child—it makes them more aware of difference and

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Being LGBT+ doesn’t define our whole selves, and nor should it. It is one part of what makes us ‘us’ and those other parts are equally important. Therefore, from early years to being part of the workforce to being part of an older generation, we exist and should be present.” the potential it brings. Employers promoting inclusion and diversity don’t favour minorities—they recognise it can drive new business and support a happy, healthy workforce. LGBT+ voluntary organisations aren’t erasing other voices—they are amplifying voices of those most marginalised and empowering them to be heard. We must work together to bring about better support for LGBT+ communities There is still much to do, but we must not become overwhelmed. No one person or organisation can achieve everything, and neither should they. The power of our LGBT+ communities is that we all have a responsibility and a role to play. From teachers to employers, and activists to politicians, we are an ecology that needs nurturing, shaping and carefully tending to. The most powerful moments of change occur when

PAUL ROBERTS OBE Chief Excutive Officer, LGBT Consortium

all parts of an ecology work in unison. It is that, which we, as LGBT+ communities, and our allies, must get to grips with. We want the diversity of voices that make us such a rich part of society to shine through among the well-bedded and visible voices. We may well be a rainbow of colour that waves proudly in the wind, but there is no reason why that rainbow shouldn’t have more colour to make it even brighter. We’re just asking for equality All we want is fair and equal treatment. Nothing more, nothing less. That’s what makes us part of wider society and that is exciting. LGBT+ people and communities bring new ideas to the table. Listen to them, embrace them and watch those people and those around them flourish. This is our new Stonewall moment. Every LGBT+ voice should be heard, so we are calling on schools, on employers, on policy makers—everyone(!)—to be proud and try new things. Let’s speak and reach out together and take pride in what LGBT+ people and communities bring to society. Only good things can happen as a result. Read more at globalcause.co.uk MEDIAPLANET

When a new LGBT challenge arrives, all our existing issues have to make room From our experience of taking calls on our helpline every day, it is clear that LGBT people are feeling the direct effects of an increasingly volatile political atmosphere, both here in the UK and across the globe.

elivering one of the only funded development programmes for lesbian and bi women in the country, we hear about assumptions regarding sexuality, experiences of inappropriate curiosity from health professionals and years of misinformation and silence. So, what are the LGBT issues elbowing their way into the best seats at the moment? Maybe, in order to answer the question, we need to re-frame it. Let’s try: What are the issues that are not being talked about and how is this pervasive silence affecting the LGBT community? A sexual wellbeing survey for women Last year, the LGBT Foundation Women’s Programme conducted The National Sexual Wellbeing Survey1 for Women. The last known national research on sexual health for lesbian and bisexual women before this was in 2008. One of the main goals of the survey was to grow the evidence base around women who have sex with women (WSW) and increase visibility of the needs of lesbian, bi and queer women, as a lack of evidence is often cited as the reason for not investing in work targeted specifically at LGBT women. A juxtaposition that has prohibited research for decades. We launched the survey and made a reasonable, but ambitious, estimate of around 300 responses. By the time it closed, we had almost nine times that amount

ANNIE CUNNINGHAM Women’s Programme Coordinator, LGBT Foundation

One in five lesbian, gay and bisexual patients report that their sexual orientation is a factor in them delaying accessing health services.” with over 2,500 participants. It was clear evidence that lesbian and bi women are in dire need of a vehicle through which to voice their specific needs and desires. In our first stage of analysis, we found some really positive messages: 81% of WSW felt aware of the kind of sex they enjoy and desire, with almost 70% feeling comfortable to communicate with their partners about the sex they want to have. Some of the findings made for quite difficult reading. Sexual violence experienced by WSW Our most difficult discovery, but one that was consistent with what we know anecdotally about our communities through years of working with them, was that 43% of WSW and non-binary people who answered our survey had experienced sexual violence. Only 26% accessed support, and of that, only 8% said that support met their needs. This is an ear-splitting cry for inclusion, or rather for an ongoing dialogue that is LGBT specific and not a bolt-on to an existing heteronormative narrative that does not reflect the community.

Worrying about whether healthcare services really understand One in five lesbian, gay and bisexual patients report that their sexual orientation is a factor in them delaying accessing health services. Through our Pride in Practice programme, going into Primary Care Services to strengthen and develop relationships with their lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans patients, we have found that if LGBT people are to feel they can access healthcare, they need to feel that GPs, dentists, pharmacists and optometrists understand and can meet their specific needs and give them that person-centred care that we all deserve. At the end of the day, it’s about consistency in all areas: awareness, crisis response, legislation and community. The rainbow flag fl ies high during Pride season, but we need to ensure that we keep the colours visible for the rest of the year as a constant reminder of the incredible lives that enrich our communities and as a clear statement that the needs of LGBT people should be a given not a gift.