Medical Examiner by Daniel Pearson

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MARCH 1, 2013

We are what we eat It’s March! MARCH IS NATIONAL NUTRITION MONTH

hich person are you in the picture above? Take a good look. At first glance it looks like all men are created equal, made from random assemblages of food. But upon closer inspection, there’s someone with what looks like a very well-rounded diet, a fast food junkie, a vegetarian, and one who looks like his entire diet consists of alcohol.

See “Ask A Dietitian” on page 7

go on some crazy celery and water diet with the best of intentions, but nobody can stick with something weird for long. That’s where the importance of our normal habits come in. Even for healthy people, normal can include a big juicy burger and fries and a soft drink, or a glazed, jelly-filled donut, but those should mark the occasional side trip, not our everyday dietary habits. As in, “I normally eat fast food once or twice a month.” Think of good food like this: it’s medicine. It’s what keeps us healthy and keeps us from

Which one are you? Most of us are a combination of all (or at least three) of them. Some days we’re the junk foodaholic, other days we’re the poster child for healthy eating. That’s real life. Healthy eating has to take into account that we’re humans. We may Please see WHAT WE EAT page 9

ctually, you probably don’t. I didn’t know either until I accidentally stumbled across a website that said March is Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month. Woo hoo! What’s all the celebrating about? Well, it isn’t exactly celebrating. The key word is awareness. Probably few diagnoses are more dreaded than hearing a doctor tell you that you have cancer. I know: I’ve been there. There I was, six years ago give or take, minding my own business, writing an article for this very publication about the importance of getting checked for colorectal cancer (which sometimes means getting a colonoscopy). I thought to myself, “it’s kind of hypocritical to tell everybody else to do something you haven’t even done yourself.” As it turned out, I had a doctor’s appointment coming up and brought up the subject and got scheduled for a colonoscopy. Good thing I did, because they discovered cancer. That chance screening probably saved my life. Not that my story should be unique: although colorectal cancer is the second-leading cause of death among cancers that affect both men and women, doctors estimate that 60 percent of all colorectal cancer could be prevented by routine screenings. That’s a lot (some people would say a butt-load - not me, though). Of course, nobody wants to have a colonoscopy. But it sure beats dying, or having a colostomy and wearing a bag for the duration of your life. Keep in mind, however, there’s no guarantee you’ll even need a colonoscopy test. If you’re over 50, celebrate Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month! Call your doctor and schedule a screening. Do it this week! + — Dan Pearson Medical Examiner Publisher

A special message • Page 2 Hey kids!!! • Page 3 Medicine in the First Person • Page 6 The Short White Coat med student diary • Page 15

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MARCH 1, 2013

AUGUSTA MEDiCAL EXAMINER

A SPECIAL MESSAGE TO EXAMINER READERS

Living in WalMart World

Editor’s note: Healthcare is a whole new ballgame with the passage of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (PPACA). How will healthcare providers be affected? What about patients? And how about employers who provide health coverage as an employee benefit? How will Medicare and Medicaid recipients be affected? Look to this column for the answers.

e live in one of the most dynamic eras in human history. The sophisticated technology that can fit in a shirt pocket would have been unimaginable even a few short years ago. But with these exciting times can come unexpected and unintended consequences. Chain stores like WalMart have become the poster child (or children) for bland, impersonal uniformity. People often bemoan the loss of unique mom & pop pharmacies, bookstores, hardware stores, shops and restaurants, whose clientele has been snatched away by national chains in city after city after city. True, we all may eat a meal at a chain restaurant from time to time, take advantage of the savings offered at some mega-chain store, or enjoy the convenience of ordering something online from home in our pajamas after store hours. Even so, nobody seems to like it when unique local stores fold up and close their doors. The question is, what can you and I do about it? Three words: support local businesses. “Even if they’re more expensive?” you ask. Good question. You can answer that one on your own. But here’s some food for thought to help you decide. Picture a world where convenience and the lowest price drives every buying decision. In that world, the WalMarts, the Applebees, and other companies of the nationwide variety would probably win most sales. Pretty soon there would be no Wild Wing Cafe or French Market Grill, no The Boardroom or Kitchen 1454, no Scrubs of Evans or International Uniform, no Andy Jordan’s, no Sunshine Bakery or Sconyers or Wife Saver. The jobs that go along with all the locally owned businesses would also dry up and blow away, along with the attendant income taxes. Since many online sales don’t levy sales tax, the monies that help build our schools and pay for teachers and police and firefighters, for roads and bridges and for a million other things would dwindle drastically too. Do you like it when you travel thousands of miles to a distant city, only to find the very same stores and restaurants you have within a mile of home? That’s the type of community we create for ourselves when chain store and online purchases predominate. The Medical Examiner has been guilty of running “Please support our advertisers” filler ads so often that readers have actually written in saying “Enough already!” But yes, we’re in this too: this newspaper so many people say they enjoy wouldn’t be possible without our advertisers. More accurately, it would not be possible without your support of our advertisers. So please: buy local whenever possible. Support our supporters. We all win when we support each other. +

HEALTHCARE REFORM & YOU

WHAT CAN YOU AND I DO?

by Russell T. Head, CBC, CSA

THE GROWING LEXICON OF HEALTHCARE

f you thought there were too many specialized terms and acronyms related to health insurance before, the Affordable Care Act has given birth to many more. We’re just getting started. The following expands upon the old standards — HMO, PPO and FSA — you have heard for many years. The common acronyms and definitions below may help you as you navigate through the new rules and regulations of Health Care Reform. You may want to clip and save this column. ACA: The Affordable Care Act – This term is used in reference to the final version of the health care reform legislation. Russell Head CDC: The Center for Disease Control and Prevention. CHIP: The Children’s Health Insurance Program –This program provides health insurance to lowincome children, and in some states, pregnant women who do not qualify for Medicaid and cannot afford to purchase health insurance on their own. DOL: United States Department of Labor EBSA: Employee Benefits Security Administration – The division of the DOL that is responsible for compliance assistance in regard to benefit plans. FPL: Federal Poverty Level – A measure of income level determined by HHS annually to set an eligibility benchmark for certain programs and benefits. FSA: Flexible Spending Account – An account under IRS Section 125 that allows pre-tax payroll deductions. HCR: Health Care Reform HDHP: High Deductible Health Plan HHS: United Stated Department of Health and Human Services HRA: Health Reimbursement Arrangement or Account HSA: Health Savings Account MLR: Medical Loss Ratio – This refers to the claims costs and amounts spent on health care quality improvement as a percent of total premiums. PPACA: The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act – Enacted on March 23, 2010 as the primary health care

reform law. QHP: Qualified Health Plan – A certified health plan that provides the essential health benefits package required by health care reform legislation. SHOP Exchange: Small Business Health Options Program – Each public health insurance exchange must create this program to assist eligible small employers when enrolling their employees in qualified health plans. Employer Mandate: A federal requirement for businesses with 50 or more employees pay a penalty to the government if one of their employees obtains subsidized coverage through the ACA law. Individual Mandate: A federal requirement that calls for everyone in the United States to be covered on a health insurance plan either through an employer, a government program or buying their own plan. Ignoring this mandate will result in fines from the Internal Revenue Service. Public Exchange: Online marketplaces where consumers can purchase private health insurance subsidized by the government. Medicaid Expansion: Expansion of the federal-state safety net program to cover more low income people. Pre-Existing Condition: Ongoing or past health conditions. Effective January 1, 2014, insurance companies will no longer be able to deny, restrict or increase premiums due to pre-existing conditions. All insurers will have to accept all applicants for health coverage. Tax Credits: Tax credits will be provided to individuals by the government for eligible subsidies. Tax Penalty: Fines imposed on those who ignore the individual insurance mandate. In 2014 the fine will be $95 or 1% of taxable income. By 2016 the fine will be $695 or 2.5% of taxable income, whichever is greater. + Russell T. Head is a Partner and Chief Visionary Architect with Group & Benefits Consultants, Inc., Augusta’s largest, privately held employee benefits consulting firm. He can be reached at 706-733-3459 or rthead@gandbc. com. Visit Group & Benefits Consultants at www.groupandbenefits.com

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MARCH 1, 2013

AUGUSTA MEDiCAL EXAMINER

FUTURE DOCTORS ASK CURRENT DOCTORS

What kinds of things are in an ambulance? from Rory D., 1st Grade, C. T. Walker Magnet School

know you have all seen an ambulance go by with its lights and sirens on. Cars pull over to the curb and stop to let the ambulance go by. This makes you realize how important an ambulance is, and how important it is for the ambulance to get to the hospital as fast as it can. You can help in this by letting the driver of the car you’re riding in know that you see an ambulance coming and to ask them to pull over as fast as they can. An ambulance is like a little hospital emergency room on wheels – it has to have as much equipment as can fit inside to treat people while they are on the way to the real Emergency Room. It has to be able to take care of everything from a mom delivering a baby to a bicycle accident to a person having a heart attack, all while driving down the road rushing to get to the hospital! It has to have heart monitors that are connected to the hospital to let the Emergency Room doctors see your heart beat, and it has to have all the heart medicines that can treat a heart attack. It has to have breathing equipment to help you if you’re having difficulty breathing – say if you have an asthma attack or swallowed a fishbone. It has to be able to give you fluids intravenously (through a tube in your arm ) – say if you can’t swallow,

or have been throwing up so much that you can’t hold anything down. It has to have equipment to measure your blood pressure and the amount of oxygen in your blood. It has to have lots and lots of bandages in case you were in a bad accident and are still bleeding. It has to have equipment called splints in case you break your arms or legs that will keep your arms and legs from moving. Everything on an ambulance has to come in all sorts of sizes, since the ambulance crew doesn’t know if their next patient will be a newborn baby, a grown up, or someone in between. And the amazing thing is that all of the equipment and supplies, the ambulance workers – and the patient! – have to fit in a very very small space. + Written by the physicians of Pediatric Partners, with offices in Evans and Augusta. They can be reached at 706.854.2500 and at www.pedpartners.com. TEACHERS! PARENTS! Send us your kids’ questions, whether they’re in high school, kindergarten, or somewhere in between. Mail them to Dan@AugustaRx.com or to Ask the Doctor, Medical Examiner, PO Box 397, Augusta, GA 30903-0397

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Nearly all of us — even doctors and nurses — are sometimes patients. Perhaps you were recently injured playing your favorite sport, or years ago you somehow got hurt without even leaving your favorite recliner. Maybe you were diagnosed with a dreaded disease, mugged in a dark and lonely parking lot, or you stubbed your toe in the safety of your own bedroom. On the other hand, perhaps you needed medical attention 5,000 miles from home. Whatever your medical experience, we’d like to hear your story for our Medicine in the First Person feature. It can be frightening or funny, ordinary or extraordinary, just a few paragraphs long or quite a lengthy tale, bylined or anonymous. We’ll publish your encounters with the medical profession as often as we receive them. + Send your submissions for Medicine in the First Person to the Augusta Medical Examiner via e-mail: info@AugustaRx.com or to PO Box 397, Augusta, GA 30903-0397. (The Medical Examiner reserves the right to accept, reject, or edit any submission at its sole discretion.)

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Money Doctor

appears exclusively in the Medical Examiner’s 3rd Friday issue of even months, written by Augusta’s own Bill Cleveland, a Certified Financial Planner named by Medical Economics magazine as one of the “150 Best Financial Advisors for Doctors” in the U.S.

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www.AugustaRx.com The Medical Examiner’s mission: to provide information on topics of health and wellness of interest to general readers, to offer information to assist readers in wisely choosing their healthcare providers, and to serve as a central source of news within every part of the Augusta medical community. Submit editorial content to graphicadv@knology.net Direct editorial and advertising inquiries to:

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Daniel R. Pearson, Publisher & Editor E-mail: Dan@AugustaRx.com Augusta Medical Examiner photography: H + D Photography www.handdphoto.com AUGUSTA MEDiCAL EXAMINER P.O. Box 397, Augusta, GA 30903-0397

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Opinions expressed by the writers herein are their own and their respective institutions. Neither the Augusta Medical Examiner, Pearson Graphic 365 Inc., or its agents or employees take any responsibility for the accuracy of submitted information, which is presented for informational purposes only. For specific medical advice, diagnosis, and treatment consult your doctor.

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MARCH 1, 2013

AUGUSTA MEDiCAL EXAMINER

Hope IS Possible

If you don’t know why, the how doesn’t matter

Helen Blocker-Adams

f you don’t know why, the how doesn’t matter. You probably had to read and re-read that sentence, didn’t you? I’ve heard from and talked to many people over the past ninety days or so who are depressed, discouraged, misunderstood, misguided, uninformed, under-informed, and disappointed…for various reasons and in a lot of different situations. One of my Facebook friends sent me a note one night saying that she felt like a failure and was depressed because her business is not doing what she feels it should be doing. Another young man called me the other night saying that

he was feeling like he had been hit by a bus because a woman he had been involved with broke up with him. She wanted him to choose between his friends (male and female) and her. She wanted him all to herself, but he wasn’t willing to sacrifice all of his short- and long-term friends for one woman (who he really hadn’t been involved with for an extended period of time anyway). So they broke up. He said it wasn’t pretty and he was hurt. Every year there are various ups and downs it seems like the whole country experiences. For example during the holiday season it seems there are more depressed people, deaths, suicides, and accidents than any other time of the year. Death rates from heart disease, as well as deaths from all other causes, are more common around Christmas and New Year’s Day than other days of the year, U.S. researchers report. The exact reason for the increased number of deaths during the holidays is unknown, but author Dr. David P. Phillips of the University of California at San

Diego and his colleagues who conducted a study several years ago speculate it may be partly related to patients’ reluctance to seek medical care during the holidays. Okay, that is something we can change. Now that the holidays are long behind us and the year is still relatively young, maybe we can have the goal of doing a better job of seeking medical care when we need it. Maybe we can even become more proactive when it comes to our health care. Losing weight, by the way, is the number one resolution that people make. Obviously, we’re not doing the best job of keeping that resolution, are we? Just the second month of the year just ended, and are our New Year’s resolutions already long forgotten? Maybe we need to learn that “if we don’t know why, the how doesn’t matter.” There are literally thousands of weight loss programs, gimmicks, drinks, and foods to help people lose and/or maintain weight. That is NOT the problem. The problem perhaps is that we lose sight of the “why” — why we need or want to lose weight in the first place.

We break up with a special person in our lives and we go straight to the comfort food. We get frustrated, sad, and lonely and we go straight for the ice cream, cookies, cakes, potato chips, etc. I know. I have been there and done that. The problem comes when this becomes a chronic situation and now over 100 pounds have accumulated and you’re really in trouble. I just wonder if people who felt they were at the end of their rope (no matter the situation) were to remind themselves, “if I don’t know why, the how doesn’t matter,” if the results would be different? Think about it. Why do people go into business, for instance? Many will say they want to help people. Well, if that is the case, why would one quit that business? Whatever happened to wanting to help people? What will happen to those people if they are not served by the product or service that he/she provides? It’s a compelling statement that should be taken seriously. And who knows, it might give more people reason to stick things out a little longer. I realize there are situations where quitting is the best

thing to do. But how many do you know who quit too early? Who gave up too soon? If you’re like most people you’ve probably already broken your New Years Resolutions by now if you do that sort of thing. But I would like to challenge you to get back on track, and even to add one more. It’s not too late. Personally I think this statement can have a profound and positive impact on most or all of the resolutions you have made. Remember: “if you don’t know why, the how doesn’t matter.” Let’s learn that lesson and see what happens. + Editor’s note: a slightly different version of this column originally appeared in the January 8, 2010 issue of the Medical Examiner Helen Blocker-Adams is Executive Producer/Host of “The Helen Blocker Adams Show with Co-Host Sammy Lilly”, which airs Monday through Thursday 1 p.m. – 3 p.m. on 103.7 FM/1600 AM WKZK The Spirit. She is also Founder of Unlikely Allies Emerging Leaders Conference. You can contact her at hba@hbagroup-intl.com or visit her at www.helenblockeradams.com

Not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. - Dalai Lama

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MARCH 1, 2013

AUGUSTA MEDiCAL EXAMINER

WHAT EVERYBODY OUGHT TO KNOW ABOUT GREAT TRUTHS

ur minds seem to accumulate profound quotes over time. We tend to take them as humorous insights and then go merrily along ignoring the pearl others have so kindly given us. Many are written by men of distinction. Others are not. Here are a few insights for your consideration. Children should not have children. — Bad Billy Laveau (1972) I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. — Winston Churchill The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. — Winston Churchill In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. —John Adams A government big enough to give you everything you want is strong enough to take everything you have. — Thomas Jefferson

“

Directions to an economic train wreck: If he works, take his money. If he won’t work, give him money. — Bad Billy Laveau (1982)

Best

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. — Aesop Talk is cheap...except when Congress does it. — Anonymous No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. — Mark Twain (1866) If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed. If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. — Mark Twain Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself. — Mark Twain The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. — Mark Twain There is no distinctly Native American criminal class...save Congress. — Mark Twain

Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. — Ronald Reagan (1986) The government is like a baby’s alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other. — Ronald Reagan A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. — George Bernard Shaw A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. — G. Gordon Liddy Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money

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e n i c i d ME

from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. — Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. — James Bovardï, Civil Libertarian (1994) Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. — P.J. O’Rourke If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free. — P.J. O’Rourke Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. — Frederic Bastiat, French economist (1801-1850) I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and

“

Service as great as our products.

report the facts. — Will Rogers In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. — Voltaire (1770) Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn’t mean politics won’t take an interest in you. —Pericles (430 B.C.) The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. — Herbert Spencer, English philosopher (1820-1903) What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. — Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995) Medical problems are handled in various ways depending on whom you consult. Internists rule them out. Psychiatrists talk them out. Surgeons cut them out. — Bad Billy Laveau (1968) + Bad Billy Laveau is a retired MD with a pointed sense of humor. Bad Billy speaks and entertains at public and private events for audiences not subject to cardiac seizure secondary to overwhelming laughter and glee BadBilly@knology.net or 706306-9397

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MARCH 1, 2013

AUGUSTA MEDiCAL EXAMINER M E DIC I N E

I N

T H E

F I R ST

Hurt 7.2 miles from home

very Super Bowl seems more spectacular than the one before. However, the most memorable for me was the 1979 Super Bowl. That was years before cable and satellite television. The rabbit ears didn’t work very well in our neck of the woods so we went to my brother-in-law’s to watch the game. I can’t remember who won or even who was playing that night. But I’ll never forget what happened to me that night. In 1979 traffic accidents on Highway 56, now known as Mike Padgett Highway, were not as common as they are today for three reasons. The road was a four-lane, Plant Vogtle hadn’t been built in Burke County to create extra traffic, and 56 hadn’t been made a truck route. Of course, we were more than 30 years younger then too, and didn’t have vision problems driving at night. We were headed south for home after the game when the

“Do you realize you have only one nostril?” car in front of us turned on his right turn signal. Naturally my husband merged into the left lane to pass. Just then the other driver changed his mind and suddenly made a U-turn right in front of us. We T-boned him. In 1979 cars didn’t have seat belts — or at least our car didn’t. My knees busted the ashtray and dashboard and my head broke the windshield. My husband got out of the car and I sat there bleeding like a stuck hog — and if you’ve ever seen a stuck hog you know that is a lot. A deputy came to the window and asked me if I needed an ambulance. I said yes. I had used up my supply of tissues before the ambulance pulled up behind us. I watched

in the rear view mirror as the five passengers in the other car loaded into the ambulance and got a free ride to town. Finally an acquaintance recognized our car, stopped, and took us home to get our other car to drive to University Hospital. The hospital checked me for concussion and x-rayed my knees and sent me home with painkillers. Several months later Dr. Schilling asked me, “Do you realize you only have one nostril?” No, I didn’t. He was the first to tell me that my nose had been broken and everything shoved to one side. Dr. Schilling did surgery to correct the deviated septum and after he pulled five miles of gauze out of my nose I had two nostrils again — and have two nostrils to this day despite another broken nose. But that is another story. — Submitted by Peggy Chavous Augusta, Georgia

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My day in court A

by Bill Atkinson

bout every six months my telephone would ring and the voice on the other end would start by saying, “Beeeeeeeeeeeeeell, this is Ernie.” It was Ernie Dominish wanting to say nothing in particular. Just wanting to stay in touch. Ernie was really a rare bird and how he made it in life I will never know. Ernie was Cuban. He grew up under Castro. He and his family had been oppressed by Castro and his Communist government and when the opportunity arose Ernie fought for his rights. When the Bay of Pigs was over Ernie at age 16 was on the shores of Florida trying to survive. With the help of relatives he found training to be a phlebotomist, a blood drawer. He got a night shift job at Grady Hospital in Atlanta doing his task. Being a teenager, a Cuban who spoke broken English, basically uneducated, plus being a hot-head, Ernie Dominish had to work hard and study diligently and he did. Lo and behold, he eventually qualified himself to become a hospital administrator. That is where I met him, as the CEO of one of Georgia’s many small hospitals. I think maybe it was the one in Washington. Whichever one it was, Ernie’s accomplishment was amazing to me. Then he disappeared. The next time I heard about Ernie he was in some questionable adventure for what I imagined was the Cuban Mafia out of Miami. My fear was that Ernie would end up in some alley with a knife in his back. Not so. He resurfaced in my life again as the administrator at, of all places, the Burke County Hospital in Waynesboro. Again, amazing. Burke County Hospital? A red-neck setting (forgive me, Burke Countians) with a doctor-dominated leadership. (Check my earlier article about John Palmer.) How in the world could Ernie Dominish get the job as the administrator of that place? But he did. Amazing. Ernie lasted a few years before getting into trouble with the doctors which, I suppose, was to be expected. Then one day he came by to tell me that he had resigned and wanted me to testify to the Burke County Grand Jury. He wanted me to go to Waynesboro to tell the community how stupidly the hospital was being operated. Me? Why me? I had never testified before a Grand Jury. I didn’t even know what one was. I didn’t know its role in the general scheme of things. “And besides,” I asked Ernie, “why do it now after you quit?” But Ernie was insistent and I did it for him. All I did was give out some fancy administrator-type platitudes. I didn’t even make a dent in the problems that Ernie wanted me to address, and he certainly did not get his job back. For some more years I lost Ernie once again, but then he reappeared, this time in Jasper, Texas, as a hospital CEO. Again amazing. He contracted with me to come and give the hospital board a long-range plan. My program went well and, at least on the surface, it seemed like Ernie was doing well. The only negative that I noticed was Ernie’s house. In the middle of a graceful southern, Spanish moss-type neighborhood he had built a garish, blue colored, three-story house with balconies, spindles, the whole thing. He was hardly trying to blend in. I never heard from Ernie after that, but he probably got fired there too. Ernie Dominish was one my adventures of life. I loved the guy and truly believe that the phone will ring again one day with his trademark greeting, “Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeel!” I hope so. One more thing. As it turned out maybe I should have painted my house blue and stayed away from the Grand Jury. A Waynesboro hospital board member called one of my board members here in Augusta, asking him to tell me to stay out of Burke County or at least out of the courthouse. I got the message. I got the unofficial slap on the wrist. One of the “Oh, wells” of my life. + Bill Atkinson is the former CEO of Trinity Hospital (then St. Joseph Hospital), and the author of the comprehensive 2009 Medical Examiner series on the founding of the Augusta area’s major healthcare providers.

MARCH 1, 2013

AUGUSTA MEDiCAL EXAMINER

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tradition or my family’s to start the day with a peanut butter sandwich, why not? After all, the slogan says “Your Way” which can be translated into “My Way.” However, I need to be mindful that peanut butter is higher in fat and, depending on the kind (homemade vs. store bought, modified vs. regular), it may be higher in sodium than what I would like for every day. This is where I would then add the “Eat Right” portion for a final refinement of how often I should be engaging in this choice. There are likely other personal breakfast traditions that are possibly lower in fat and sodium which I can choose on alternate days. Balance is always key. With America being the melting pot of many cultures and traditions, it is expected that each of us will choose differently the foods we prefer. However, we do have an obligation to keep ourselves as healthy as possible by making those choices responsibly every day.

“Every Day” Really? Wow. What else should be done daily? To the extent possible attention should be directed to personal care issues, exercise, and medical advice (including taking medications as prescribed). By eating right, your way, every day; balancing the food and beverages you choose; seeking assistance from a registered dietitian with formulating a meal plan to suit your personal and medical goals as needed; and following your doctor’s advice with medication and exercise; you just might be around next year to help celebrate what will be the 41st anniversary of National Nutrition Month™. +

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ordy, Lordy, look what’s 40! I know, it seems like just yesterday, but it has actually been 40 years since the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics designated March as National Nutrition Month™. With this year’s slogan “Eat Right, Your Way, Every Day” the Academy hopes to mark this historic year by displacing the myth that eating healthfully means giving up your favorite foods. Does this mean that I can indulge in an occasional Girl Scout cookie or pop a jelly bean here and there? Actually, that is exactly what it means. (I’d like to thank the Academy.) But let’s not lose sight of the first part of the phrase “Eat Right.” According to Webster, the term “right” is defined as “meeting a standard of conduct; normal; proper or honorable.” Simple enough. Let’s apply this to Girl Scout cookies. Is it normal to eat an entire box of cookies in one sitting? Is it proper to do this in public or private? Is it more honorable to eat the entire box, or to have a couple of cookies and share the rest with others? I think we are beginning to get the hang of the “Eat Right” portion of the slogan. Moving on to the “Your Way” portion, let’s make the example a little bit more challenging by applying the slogan to a breakfast meal of a peanut butter sandwich. Is it right for me to eat a sandwich for breakfast? Hmm, it isn’t a traditional breakfast food, but to whose tradition are we referring? If it is my personal

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OUR NEWSSTANDS Medical locations: • Department of Veterans Affairs Medical Ctr, 15th St., Main Entrance • Dept. of Veterans Affairs Medical Center, Uptown Div., Wrightsboro Rd., main lobby • Doctors Hospital, 3651 Wheeler Rd, ER Lobby Entrance • Doctors Hospital, 3651 Wheeler Rd, Employee Entrance (near the Joseph M. Still Burn Center entrance) • Eisenhower Hospital, Main Entrance, Fort Gordon • George C. Wilson Drive (by medical center Waffle House and mail boxes) • GHSU Hospital, 1120 15th Street, South & West Entrances • GHSU Medical Office Building, Harper Street, Main Entrance • GHSU Medical Office Building, Harper Street, Parking Deck entrance • GHSU Hospital, Emergency Room, Harper Street, Main Entrance • GHSU Children’s Medical Center, Harper Street, Main Lobby • GHSU, Laney-Walker Boulevard transit stop, Augusta • Select Specialty Hospital, Walton Way, Main entrance lobby • Trinity Hospital, Wrightsboro Road, main lobby by elevators • Trinity Hospital Home Health, Daniel Village, main lobby • University Health Federal Credit Union/ University Hospital Human Resources, 1402 Walton Way, Main Lobby • University Hospital, 1350 Walton Way, Emergency Room lobby area • University Hospital, 1350 Walton Way, Outside Brown & Radiology/Day Surgery • University Hospital - Columbia County, 465 N. Belair Road, Main Lobby • University Hospital Prompt Care, 3121 Peach Orchard Road, Augusta

Around town: • Barney’s Pharmacy, 2604 Peach Orchard Rd. • Birth Control Source, 1944 Walton Way • ASU Student Bookstore • Blue Sky Kitchen, 990 Broad Street • Columbia County Library, main branch lobby, Ronald Reagan Drive, Evans • Enterprise Mill (North Tower), 1450 Greene Street, Augusta • Daniel Village Barber Shop, Wrightsboro Road at Ohio Ave. • Hartley’s Uniforms, 1010 Druid Park Ave, Augusta • International Uniforms, 1216 Broad Street, Augusta • Marshall Family Y, Belair Rd, Evans • Mellow Mushroom, 12th and Broad Streets, Augusta • Southside Family Y, Tobacco Road, Augusta • Surrey Center, Surrey Center Pharmacy, Highland Avenue, Augusta • Top-Notch Car Wash, 512 N. Belair Road, Evans • Wild Wing Cafe, 3035 Washington Road, Augusta

Plus... 500+ doctors offices throughout the area for staff and waiting rooms, as well as nurses stations and waiting rooms of area hospitals.

MARCH 1, 2013

AUGUSTA MEDiCAL EXAMINER

Very little if anything about healthcare is inexpensive, and that includes medicine. Tiny pills can command large prices. Over-the-counter medications may be less expensive, but are they also less effective? Find the answers to lots of your drug store questions in this column written by Augusta pharmacists Chris and Lee Davidson exclusively for the Medical Examiner.

LET’S SOLVE THOSE NASAL SINUS ALLERGIES

ast issue we discussed some nonmedicine solutions for nasal and sinus congestion. I hope those have helped some of you, but others may find they need more help. So let’s talk about some medicines available for congestion. There are three main types of congestion medicines available to patients over the counter at the pharmacy. These are antihistamines, decongestants and expectorants. Antihistamines are for congestion caused by allergies. This presents as a thin, watery congestion in the nose. This congestion is caused by allergies to a variety of allergens both airborne and consumed as in foods. The antihistamines stop the allergic reaction that causes the thin mucus in the nose. Diphenhydramine (Benadryl) is the most potent antihistamine, but can cause drowsiness and is dosed every six hours. Cetirizine (Zyrtec) has less drowsiness and can be taken once a day so, if taken at bedtime, most patients find that they sleep thru the drowsiness and can function the next day. Loratadine (Claritin) and Fexofenadine (Allegra) are non-drowsy options that are taken once daily. Each person responds to antihistamines differently, so find the best antihistamine for you, and don’t be afraid to try them all again if, after a time, your first choice quits performing as well as it did. Antihistamines also come combined with a sinus and nasal decongestant. The decongestant can be purchased as a standalone medication if that is all that is needed. Decongestants include phenylephrine (Sudafed PE) and pseudoephedrine (Sudafed). These medicines help with thick mucus both in the nose and in the sinus cavities that are located in your forehead and beside the nose in the cheeks. Pressure in these areas associated with mild pain can be a clue to use a decongestant. Decongestants can raise the blood pressure and cause increases in heart rate, so heart patients should seek a physician’s advice before using a decongestant. We have so far talked about congestion in the head but what

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happens when that congestion ends up in the chest? That’s where the third type of congestion medicine comes into play. Expectorants help with chest congestion by thinning mucus, making coughs more productive. A productive cough actually forces the congestion up out of the lungs, allowing the congestion to be moved out of the body. This prevents more serious chest conditions such as chest infections. The primary expectorant is guaifenesin (Robitussin) as a single ingredient, but it also comes combined with almost every type of cough and cold medicine. A note on what not to do if you have chest congestion: do not to use an antihistamine. Antihistamines dry up the thin congestion present in the nose, but this can lead to pneumonia or other serious chest conditions if used when you have chest congestion. This is why an antihistamine-expectorant combination is not one you’ll find on a pharmacy shelf. One medicine we have not talked about yet is the cough medication dextromethorphan. This medicine is present in a variety of combination medicines and in the long-acting liquid Delsym. A cough suppressant can be helpful, but can also cause problems, so consult a pharmacist or your physician about whether it is good for you. A cough suppressant does what its name implies, but is a cough being suppressed what you need? At night a cough suppressant can help you sleep, which is beneficial. But congestion needs to get out of the chest, so a cough is not always a bad thing. So get a good night’s sleep, but don’t create problems for yourself. Persistent congestion is usually a sign of an infection which needs a physician, so don’t try to treat yourself for too long. Go to your doctor and get evaluated just in case it’s something more serious than simple congestion. + Questions about this article or suggestions for future columns can be sent to us at cjdlpdrph@bellsouth.net Written for the Medical Examiner by Augusta pharmacists Chris and Lee Davidson (cjdlpdrph@bellsouth.net )

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MARCH 1, 2013

AUGUSTA MEDiCAL EXAMINER

WHAT WE EAT… from page 1

Big food news, hot off the grill If you think it’s a bit much to equate food with medicine, you might have missed the news. On Monday of this week, medical researchers at the University of Barcelona, based on a five year study of 7,447 people, reported in the New England Journal of Medicine that the so-called Mediterranean diet reduced the risk of heart disease in people at high risk by “about 30 percent.” That’s what we call a major reduction — without a pill or a scalpel in sight. So what is the Mediterranean diet? As originally presented by Dr Walter Willett of Harvard University’s School of Public Health, it’s a way of eating based on “food patterns typical of Crete, much of the rest of Greece, and southern Italy in the early 1960s.” It emphasizes abundant plant foods, fresh fruit as the typical daily dessert, olive oil as the principal source of fat, dairy products (principally cheese and yogurt), and fish and poultry consumed in low to moderate amounts, zero to four eggs consumed weekly, red meat consumed in low amounts, and wine consumed in low to moderate amounts” Total fat in this diet is 25% to 35% of calories, with saturated fat at 8% or less of calories. Olive oil is particularly characteristic of the Mediterranean diet. It contains a very high level of monounsaturated fats, most notably oleic acid, which studies suggest may be linked to a reduction in coronary heart disease risk.

is now

• Specialty Pharmacy • Home Infusion Ser vices • IV Nursing There is also evidence that the antioxidants in olive oil improve cholesterol regulation and promote LDL (“bad”) cholesterol reduction, and that it has other anti-inflammatory and antihypertensive effects. Despite its name, the Mediterranean diet is not typical of all Mediterranean countries. In Northern Italy, for instance, lard and butter are commonly used in cooking, and olive oil is reserved for dressing salads and cooked vegetables. In North Africa, wine is traditionally avoided by Muslims. But there’s no reason that major elements of this diet can’t find their way onto our tables on a regular basis. Do some online research, invest in a cookbook that features recipes based on the Mediterranean diet, and settle in for a long — and tasty — life.

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An example The Mediterranean diet recommends total fat intake of 25 to 35 percent of calories. Exactly what does that mean? Here’s an example that takes a typical lunch: a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, milk, and an apple. Not exactly Mediterranean, but so be it. Peanut butter is high in fat, but it’s a nutritious food and the overall total from the whole meal is about 30% from fat. • Two slices of bread = 13% fat (30 of 230 calories from fat) • Two tablespoons of peanut butter = 75% fat (140 of 190 calories from fat) • One tablespoon of jelly = 0% fat (0 of 50 calories from fat) • One cup of 1% milk = 18 % (20 of 110 calories from fat) • Apple = 0% (0 of 80 calories from fat)

Total = 29% fat (190 of 660 calories from fat)

CARDIOLOGY

This newspaper is published every 1st & 3rd Friday

INT

getting sick. And it’s tasty. If we’re not regularly taking good “medicine,” eventually we’ll have to take the kind of medicine they don’t sell at Kroger or Publix, and it’s nowhere near as tasty. In other words, one way or another we’re going to have to take your medicine. Which do you want it to be? Before you answer, it should be noted that some people never get the opportunity to take either variety of medicine: they live their life on a diet of unhealthy foods, and then before doctors can swoop in and perform bypass surgery or help the person get their cholesterol down, they drop dead of a heart attack. While that may sound like an extreme scenario or even a scare tactic, it’s anything but that: heart disease is the #1 cause of death in this country, and much of the blame for heart disease goes to lifestyle choices. Those include, in the main, poor diet and lack of exercise and all their attendant ills.

AT T E

+ 10

MARCH 1, 2013

AUGUSTA MEDiCAL EXAMINER

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MARCH 1, 2013

11 +

AUGUSTA MEDiCAL EXAMINER

The blog spot — Posted Feb. 21, 2013 at www.orderofthegooddeath.com/blog

THE ART OF OBITUARY WRITING Like the mouldy veggies in the bottom of your fridge, obituaries are a petri dish for stale language way beyond its “best before” date. While I adore the intention, I’m bored of the same old phrases. It’s tough slogging through mediocre writing to find a few good lines in the obit pages. “What an awful thing to say!” you’re thinking, “These obits mark the life and times of dead people near and dear to many!” They do indeed...which is why you should do them justice and write well. Snap. To clarify, a bad obit is not about a dull life: it’s about poor writing. Much of that comes down to word choice. Here are some ground rules: a good obit should be around 200 words. Why? Because it’s expensive to post in print media, and readers have short attention spans. Obituaries aren’t a forum in which to testify, and lengthy stories belong in a eulogy. This is précis writing at its finest! Every. Word. Matters. Euphemisms are substitute words used to avoid saying something that makes us feel awkward. Euphemisms to hide “dead” are the grand-daddies of them all. “Sleeping with the angels, succumbed, crossed over, gone with Jesus, achieved greatness, eternal rest, having gone to one’s reward, no longer with us, gone, lost, passed on/away/over/to the other side”: apparently, people are uncomfortable with death. But we can’t sanitize the truth. Here’s the deal: grief isn’t made better by naming death “passing.” Call it what it is and move closer to being at peace with death and dying. Remember, obituaries are true stories, and euphemisms are a way of skirting that – plus they use a lot of our 200 words to say one small word. Died. See? It’s ok. Dog down! Roger, copy that! Military lingo is so ubiquitous in obits that many read as though they were written on the battlefield (and Pat Benatar will tell you, it’s “love,” not “death” that’s a battlefield). My point is that death isn’t a war. When we “battle,” “fight,” or “struggle” “valiantly” and “courageously,” we’re setting up death as something evil that we can “beat.” Death isn’t failure. It’s inevitable. People don’t “lose,” they simply die. Avoid the military jargon. In obituary writing, authentic is the new flowery. The most potent impact you can make is to write the way you speak. When you do, the content comes from the heart – people will relate and be sucked in like margaritas on a Friday night. Also, you’ll likely avoid my contempt, but that shouldn’t be your motivation. Instead of the stale, “lovingly remembered by her adoring family” (you just lost 6 words and my attention, by the way), I’m looking for, “Jim ran with a tight crowd of yahoos.” Yes, 8 words, but intriguing. Think this is obvious? When faced with raw grief, even the most counterculture creatures can revert to the sentimental and formulaic. Keep it real. Obituaries are the last words written about someone: no do-overs, so they better count. Honest, succinct language without the baggage of euphemisms and military lingo will get you started. The words you save will be needed for the next task of telling their story. It’s going to be great. This ain’t your grandma’s obit. Well, maybe it is, but you’re going make people wish they knew her . You’re going to do her life justice — if you do it right. +

“ Avoid the military jargon. ”

A note from the Medical Examiner: My first brush with euphemisms for death came when I was 9. My grandmother was killed in an auto accident, and many people who sent sympathy cards to my parents enclosed newspaper clippings about the accident. In one, I read that my grandmother had been “fatally injured.” Although by this time the funeral had come and gone, I ran into the kitchen to tell my mother the news. There had been a terrible mistake! Grandma wasn’t dead! She was only fatally injured! I was right. But I was also wrong. That day I learned what fatally means.

From THE Bookshelf Good thing this is print media, because if I wanted to tell you about this book, you might interrupt me with, “Huh? What did you say?” Author Katherine Bouton is just one person among a club with 50 million members. To gain membership you have to be deaf, or at least on your way to that silent state. Bouton got her membership rather suddenly, in one unforgettable moment at age thirty. As she describes it, “one minute I could hear and the next I couldn’t. My left ear went dead.” In the years since then, as the contagion spread from left ear to right she has become, as she puts it, “Not Deaf with a capital D. Just deaf.” (Incidentally, she acknowledges that “deaf” is not a politically correct word in some circles, but she prefers it.) We might tend to think of hearing loss as a problem of the elderly, but Bouton’s age-30 experience is just the tip of the iceberg. In fact, she quotes figures from a study published in JAMA in 2010 which found that hearing loss in teenagers is worse than the general population: 17 percent for everybody versus nearly

20 percent for teens. And you thought your teenager was deliberately ignoring you. Despite that alarming trend, older adults are, as expected, the deafest among us. It’s not an easy situation to deal with, since the loss usually doesn’t happen in one minute, as it did in Bouton’s case. Hearing loss can be so gradual it’s not easy to recognize or acknowledge. Denial is common. Another growing group of “Huh?”-sayers are soldiers whose hearing has been damaged by prolonged battlefield noise. All told, there are 49,999,999

people with significant or total hearing loss in this country (plus Katherine Bouton), and some 275 million deaf and seriously hearing-impaired people worldwide. Someone we know — several someones, most likely — is afflicted, and this book offers many excellent first-hand suggestions for dealing with loss of our own hearing or someone else’s, be it a co-worker or family member. Aside from the sheer numbers of those involved, what they have lost is far more profound than you and I may realize if we have good hearing. Bouton quotes Helen Keller’s famous comment that her deafness was worse than blindness because it cut her off “from the intellectual company of man.” This book will give every reader an eye opening — strike that — ear opening look into a significant and growing issue of our times. And no, it is not available as an audio book. + Shouting Won’t Help; Why I — and 50 Million Other Americans — Can’t Hear You by Katherine Bouton, 288 pages, published February 19, 2013 by Sarah Crichton Books

the

Clipping File Moderation in all things In calcium particularly. Diets very low or very high in calcium are not a good idea. Swedish researchers who studied more than 61,000 women over a 19-year period found that the highest death rates from all causes were among women with a daily dietary calcium intake above 1400 mg. Women in that category were more than twice as likely to die during the study period than women whose daily dietary calcium intake was in the 600999 mg range. On the other hand, higher than normal death rates were also found in women who consumed less than 600 mg of calcium per day. Calcium plays an important role in nutrition, and more than 60 percent of women of middle age and above take calcium supplements. The key is balance: not enough is not good, and so is too much of a good thing.

Morale saves lives Do you work at one of Augusta’s many hospitals? How is employee morale there? A study released in the past week (by Imperial College London) suggests that high job satisfaction among employees — even nonclinical staff — has a direct correlation to low mortality rates. Researchers can’t say whether the chicken or the egg comes first — does better care produce a happier staff or a happier staff produce better care? — but they’re clear on one point: their findings clearly say employee satisfaction, whether good or bad, can be a reliable indicator of overall institutional performance. A quick fix that actually works If there is one principle of good health that’s carved in stone, it is that the quick fixes don’t really work. The quick-fix diet may work, but not in the long run; exercise offers great benefits, but only if it becomes a

habit. If it’s easy, it’s ineffective. No pain, no gain, and all that. But as the old saying goes, every rule has its exception. The January/February issue of General Dentistry says that using a germ-killing mouthwash significantly reduces plaque and gingivitis. That’s quick enough, and certainly easy. The need for this addition to our oral hygiene rituals stems from the fact that most people brush for less than one minute (when at least two is recommended), and only a tiny minority floss — depending on which study you’re looking at, the anemic flossing stats say only somewhere between 2 and 10 percent floss regularly (except when a dentist appointment is coming up). Adding a twice-a-day germkilling mouthwash to regular brushing can reduce plaque by more than 25 percent, gingivitis by more than 20 percent. For the one-two punch of ease and efficacy, that’s about as easy as it gets. +

+ 12

MARCH 1, 2013

AUGUSTA MEDiCAL EXAMINER

THE EXAMiNERS

THE MYSTERY WORD

I can’t remember all this medical vocabulary I’m learning. Like what?

by Dan Pearson

On my homework sheet I have to use an adjective What did for a stab wound you put?

Personally, I would give you an A for that.

I put “punctual.” Is that right?

The Mystery Word for this issue: LAGRIDYOCO

Simply unscramble the letters, then begin exploring our ads. When you find the correctly spelled word hidden in one of our ads — enter at AugustaRx.com

EXAMINER CROSSWORD

PUZZLE

ACROSS 1. 401 Walton Way, for short 5. Tablet choice 9. Intro for mouth or money? 14. Peak 15. Positions 16. Brief appearance 17. Fellow 18. Italian bread (until 2002) 19. Fragrant resin 20. Tidy (but usually used as its antonym, with “un”) 22. Relating to an image 24. Christmas log 27. Expire 28. Help 31. Lighter fluid 32. Rave 33. Sleep 35. Long-tailed rodent 36. Pertaining to skin 37. Testify under oath 40. Adult males 41. Cape that lost its name from 1963 to 1973 44. Family 46. Playful 47. Owner of a Lonely Heart band 48. Soak 49. Bladder-exiting duct 51. Washing machine part 54. Duck with soft down 58. Predictive (literary adj.) 59. Lymph _____ 62. Accolade 63. Leaning 64. Georgia’s Chateau _____ 65. Pitcher’s stats 66. Type of drive? 67. Atlas Shrugged author 68. Title

21 24

22 25

QUOTATION PUZZLE

32 35 37

46 50

54 60

T L T A K

D E C M N L I O E O I E Y W E N ’ S R ’ H

49 52

Click on “Reader Contests”

VISIT WWW.AUGUSTARX.COM TO ENTER!

P T R A A E T A R N L T E U H P T N U T

DIRECTIONS: Recreate a timeless nugget of wisdom by using the letters in each vertical column to fill the boxes above them. Once any letter is used, cross it out in the lower half of the puzzle. Letters may only be used once. Black squares indicate spaces between words, and words may extend onto

DOWN 1. Russell or Benny 2. Continuous dull pain 3. Mosque prayer-leader 4. Unbranded calf; maverick 5. Sick 6. Hawaiian food 7. Acrylic fiber (trademark) 8. ____________ Lakes 9. The GPC of SC 10. Where to find Timbuktu 11. Corrective 12. Stay 13. Word with seat or train 21. _________ Home Road 23. Length of life 25. Calm interval 26. Daniel Field abbrev. 28. Find the sum of 29. Anger 30. Skin inflammation 32. Act of despoliation 34. “So be it” 35. Certain Paul’s last name

— Cartoonist Bill Watterson

37. Morse element 38. Scottish not 39. Ernie _____ 41. M.E. 42. Cherrylike fruit associated with Vitamin C 43. English nae 44. Necktie 45. Emissary, especially for the pope 46. Project 50. Nearby city and county 52. Slant 53. Performs 55. ___ mater 56. Yellow cheese coated with red wax 57. Went up 60. Medical Examiner publisher 61. Conclusion

a second line. Solution on page 14.

4 8

X A M I N E R

7 3 6 3 7 1 5 8 1 7 8 6 4 3 2 4 2 9 2 6 7

6 6 3 4 9 8 3

U D O K U

DIRECTIONS: Every line, vertical and horizontal, and all nine 9-square boxes must each contain the numbers 1 though 9. Solution on page 14.

Solution p. 14

Use the letters provided — one per dash — to create words to solve the puzzle. All the listed letters following 1 are the 1st letters of each word; the letters following 2 are 2nd letters of each word, and so on. Try solving short words and entering unique and minimal choice letters (such as 5 thru 9 in this puzzle). A sample is shown. Solution on page 10.

O 1 2

1 1

5 6 7 8 P 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

9 1 2

2 1

4 U 2 3

M 1

1 4

2 5

3 6

1.GENBAAWWMY 2.IREOOOXSA 3.PANFTUY 4.EDTP 5.PCE 6.RTE 7.DF

SAMPLE:

1. ILB 2. SLO 3. VI 4. NE 5. D =

L 1

O 2

V 3

E 4

8.U

I 1

9.L

S 2

B 1

L 2

I 3

N 4

D 5

WORDS NUMBER

All Mystery Word finders will be eligible to win by random drawing. We’ll announce the winner in our next issue!

MARCH 1, 2013

13 +

AUGUSTA MEDiCAL EXAMINER

THE BEST MEDICINE ha... ha...

As the pharmacist hands the prescription to customer he said, “Take one of these every four hours. Or as often as you can get the cap off.” Doctor: Did you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory? Patient: What pills?

doctor was giving a lecture to a group of medical students. Pointing to the x-ray, he explained: “As you can see, this patient limps because his right fibula and tibia are radically arched.” The doctor looked up at the assembled students and asked, “Now what would you do in a case like this?” One of the students piped up: “I suppose I would limp too.” A man called his doctor’s office for an appointment. “I’m sorry,” said the receptionist, “but we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks.” “I could be dead by then!” says the man. “That’s no problem, sir,” said the receptionist. “If your wife lets us know we’ll gladly cancel the appointment.” Doctor: You’re in good health. You’ll live to be eighty. Patient: But doctor, I’m eighty now. Doctor: See? What did I tell you?

A new patient was in an examination room of a famous specialist. “So who did you consult before coming to me?” asked the doctor. “I went to see a chiropractor.” “A chiropractor??” scoffed the doctor. “What a waste of time! Tell me, what sort of useless advice did that quack give you?” “He told me to come see you.” A man was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a special diet. “I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds, maybe ten.” When the man returned, the doctor was shocked to discover he had lost nearly 20 pounds. “Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?” The man nodded. “It wasn’t easy, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day.” “From hunger you mean?” “No,” said the man. “From skipping.” What’s a practical nurse? One who falls in love with a wealthy old patient. +

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The Patient’s Perspective by Marcia Ribble

hese days I look as though I was in the middle of a botox session with one side of my face done and the other not begun yet, when I abruptly got up and left. That’s what my Bell’s Palsy seems to demonstrate to all who see me. The doctors tell me that it should resolve by itself in due time. But they also note that no one quite knows when that time will be and my face will return to normal. Meantime, I find it hard to pronounce certain words, such as those with Fs in them. If I try to blow out candles, I have to shift where I’m standing or the breeze blows in the wrong directions. I have to make sure my lip isn’t in the way when I’m eating, or I grab it with my teeth and chew on it. Food dribbles out of the non-moving side of my mouth, as do any liquids, so napkins and straws are essential. The dribbling food reminds me of when my babies were first learning to use their lips and tongue and gums to try to get food into their mouths and keep it there long enough to gum and swallow it. I’d shovel in the baby cereal and it would dribble back out, usually pushed out by their tongues. I became expert at shoveling food in, watching for it to dribble out, and re-scoop it off their lips, cheeks, and chin and shovel it back in. Their food dribbled out all over the place, while mine just dribbles out of the left side of my face. I can still sing as long as I don’t need the words to be clearly identifiable, but I cannot even begin to pucker my lips to whistle. When I try to whistle, it sounds a great deal like the hose end of a vacuum cleaner, all whooshes and shuushes. Though there are certainly some pretty funny outcomes,

Talk is cheap. Not talking can be deadly.

which would be embarrassing if I were 30 instead of 69, there is one great benefit. I have never been able to make such funny faces before. With one side pliable and the other stuck in zombie land, a simple raise of the right side can take on the look of a vampire in training. Wish I could have created such a bizarre evil eye when my kids were little. They might have taken me more seriously than they did the mother who always was trying to hide a smile under her scolding. Because I didn’t want to scare all the neighborhood children, I avoided trying to smile with my one-sided smile when I was giving out treats on Halloween. However, my newly created evil eye was perfect for the young jerk who drove past my car and did that “Who let the dogs out?” woof. I may not be able to whistle, but I could, and did, add a cat’s hissing to the evil eye. He looked glad to get away when the light changed. It was one of those great “when you lose, you win” situations. Just call me Grandma Cat and sign me up for CATS. + Marcia Ribble received her PhD in English at Michigan State and recently retired from the University of Cincinnati where she taught composition. She taught writing at the college level and loves giving voice to people who have been silenced. She can be reached with comments, suggestions, etc., at marciaribble@hotmail.com.

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THEMYSTERYSOLVED The Mystery Word in our last issue was: PHARMACY ...cleverly hidden (on a chart) in the page 10 ad for JAYCEEGEE.COM Congratulations to Sarah Boehnlein, who scores a $20 Wild Wing Cafe gift certificate, two free movie passes courtesy of Health Center Credit Union, a free Top Notch Car Wash gift card, and for coffee drinkers, a jar of Drug of Choice gourmet coffee. Win this stuff! The new Mystery Word is on p. 12. Start looking!

The Celebrated MYSTERY WORD CONTEST ...wherein we hide (with fiendish cleverness) a simple word. All you have to do is unscramble the word (found on page 12), then be the first to find it concealed within one of our ads. Click in to the contest link at www.AugustaRx.com and enter. If we pick you in our random drawing of correct entries you’ll score our goodie package: gift certificates from Wild Wing Cafe, Top Notch Car Wash, and movie passes from Health Center Credit Union! SEVEN SIMPLE RULES: 1. Unscramble and find the designated word hidden within one of the ads in this issue. 2. Visit the Reader Contests page at www.AugustaRx.com. 3. Tell us what you found and where you found it. 4. If you’re right and you’re the one we pick at random, you win. (WInners within the past six months are ineligible.) 5. Prizes awarded to winners may vary from issue to issue. 6. A photo ID may be required to claim some prizes. 7. Other entrants may win a lesser prize at the sole discretion of the publisher.

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HOMES, APARTMENTS, ROOMMATES, LAND, ETC. WEST AUGUSTA House for rent. 3 bdrm, 2 bath, 1500 sqft, 1-car garage, 3024 Sterling Road, located off Stevens Creek at Riverwatch Pkwy. $850/mo. Call 678467-7187. FOR SALE Brand new contemporary townhome/end unit in The Vista on Hwy 1, minutes from MCG. 1450 sqft. Two bdrm, two baths, office. Walk-in closets, lots of upgrades. Hardwood throughout, custom tiled kitchen/bathrooms. Floor to ceiling windows, pristine condition. Ready today. $125K - OBO. 803-5078991. HOMESBYOWNER.COM Buy • Sell • Rent Apartments available 706-564-5885

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SERVICES FULL-SERVICE MOVER Anthony’s Professional Moving, 28 years serving the CSRA moving hospital equipment, offices, homes, apartments, etc. Estimates are FREE. Call 706.860.3726 or 706.814.8141 CAREGIVER Let me help you with your loved one. 24 hour care, very reasonable. Call 706-738-0851 CNA IN-HOME CARE I assist with daily activities, prepare meals, light housekeeping, grocery shopping, doctor’s appts. I will meet you to discuss your specific needs. Call 706-833-9787 BIBLE BY PHONE - Free daily Bible readings; for Spiritual Encouragement and Growth. Call 706-855-WORD (9673) SPARKLING CLEAN Looking for offices to clean. No contract req. Husband & wife team have years experience and give FREE on-request estimates. Call 706.831.8552

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AUGUSTA MEDiCAL EXAMINER

The Short White Coat C

urrently, my medical class is in the middle of a “Pediatric Intercession,” which means for the week all of our lectures have focused exclusively on pediatric medicine. I have absolutely loved it. A few professors have several times mentioned one particular issue that I find to be particularly disturbing. In an effort to spread awareness of what I am learning, that’s going to be the topic for my article for this month. I think it is a very important and very upsetting subject. I have been aware for some time that there was a movement among some parents against vaccinating their children for various reasons, some of which are religious and others rooted in the fact that they believe vaccines are “dangerous.” In particular, there is a prolific fear and belief that vaccines have the potential to give children autism, even though the doctor who initially made these claims was later disproven. I would like to share some statistics, and I take them directly from one of my professor’s lectures because they do a better job of summarizing the message I want to relay than any article I could cite: In 2010, there were 9,156 cases of Pertussis (Whooping cough) in California. This was the highest number of cases in 63 years. 809 of the victims were hospitalized, and almost all of them were younger than 6 months of age. And the ones who died were younger than 3 months when first diagnosed.

VOTE t ha n Less

“Children are our most valuable resource.” — Herbert Hoover “If we are to teach real peace in this world, and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with the children.” — M. Gandhi After that, the state of California passed legislation requiring any parents refusing vaccination for their children to submit a letter of affidavit stating explicitly that it was contrary to their beliefs. 20 states now have similar “exemption laws.” It’s no coincidence that more than 75% of Pertussis cases occur in these states. In 2011, the number of Pertussis cases shrunk to 2,932, but several hundred children were still hospitalized. Even one case of Pertussis is one too many in my opinion. The characteristic “whoop” of whooping cough is the result of just how incredibly difficult it is for babies just to bring air into their tiny lungs. Because of this, whooping cough can be deadly for a child, especially an infant. So can measles, which is another disease on the rise. While I will not further belabor my point to readers with those specific statistics, it is important to note that over 75% of current measles cases are also due to lack of vaccination. In fact, this trend is applicable to pretty much any disease that has vaccines available – Pertussis, measles, mumps, rubella, meningitis, diphtheria, tetanus, influenza… The list goes on, and so does the number of

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casualties. On a side note, I would like to thank God that smallpox has already been eradicated (via widespread vaccination efforts). In response to the growing movement against vaccines, there have been numerous nationally-funded studies exploring the possible dangers of vaccines and any harmful effects they could have. A specific focus of these studies has been on any links to the development of autism. The results of these studies show that there is absolutely NO CONNECTION WHATSOEVER between vaccines and autism. None. The early symptoms of autism happen to manifest right around the age when children are receiving a good number of shots, so it is easy to believe there is a correlation. Study after study has shown, however, that this apparent correlation is nothing more than coincidence; furthermore, the man who originally propounded these ideas has been discredited. The seed of doubt, however, continues to fester and grow in the minds of many parents, who

A med student’s notebook understandably just want to do the right thing for their children. I think, though, that all one really needs to do is see what measles or diphtheria or influenza can do to a child’s body, or hear the desperate gasps for air as a child with whooping cough struggles to breathe, to realize that the right thing for all children is to protect them from these preventable diseases. So this is my plea to the public and to parents everywhere: Please vaccinate your children. Whether we are ourselves parents or not, it our moral duty to protect the lives of children. They are our innocents, our dependents, and our future. We have the scientific advances and the medicines to protect their bodies from illnesses that could endanger their precious lives and possibly kill them; there is no reason for us to deprive them of the protection and treatment they deserve. The research is out there to support this, and physicians everywhere agree. Illnesses like whooping cough should NOT be a problem plaguing children today. Let us combat this situation and put an end to these diseases. Children’s lives quite literally depend on it. + — by Caroline Colden 2nd-year medical student at MCG

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