BASED ON A TRUE STORY

(most of the time)

A series by Bad Billy Laveau

My family grows over 1.5 million pounds of chicken every 8 weeks and never have they used antibiotics nor steroids.

Electric vehicles will save money and stop petroleum hydrocarbons emissions.

Have you priced an EV? What do you do for crank case oil, lubricants, tires? And where does the electricity come from?

Stop oil drilling to save the planet. How do you pave streets without asphalt … which comes from oil?

Our economy is strong and the stock market will continue to go up. How can that happen with interest rates going up and inflation still 300% higher than it was two years ago?

You must join clubs and pay monthly fees to lose weight. Or take medications to treat obesity. But losing weight by taking in fewer calories and burning more calories? Radical. It is simple math a 3rd grader can figure out.

Every politician has a secret plan to fix what the opposition has messed up. President Reagan said, “Government is not the solution. Government is the problem.” He had more than a little wisdom. Democrats and Republicans should adhere to Reagan’s dictum.

Guns cause killings. I guess pencils cause misspelling. Forks cause obesity. And cars cause drunk driving. Marriages cause divorce.

Women are oppressed because they are paid less than men, promoted less than men, and are weaker physically. But single women own more homes than single men. It has something to do with divorce lawyers.

Congress passes laws for the good of the people. So why does Congress exempt themselves from Social Security, Medicare, and provide their own retirement plan and medical insurance? And they exempt themselves from discrimination laws regarding staff employment.

Store-bought water has an expiration date. Water has been around for a few million years and only recently are we told it can expire? What are we to do with “expired water.” Will “expired water” contaminate the planet or kill people if we pour it on our gardens?

Save the world from global climate change … stop eating steak and start eating insects. So I’m told, crickets are the “gateway bug.” Chocolate covered crickets? Cricket burgers? Maybe one day, cricket syrup on ice cream? Or Starbuck cricket coffee?

“Freedom of speech” demonstrators shout down anyone who disagrees with them. They think freedom of speech means certain people (only them) have freedom to speak and all others must listen to them. Somehow, that is not how I read the Constitution. But maybe I am wrong … or stupid.

A college degree is superior to a technical degree. Not always. When times get hard, we will not need social workers and Human Resource workers as much as we need plumbers, carpenters, truck drivers, welders, mechanics, cooks, nurses, etc. Learn a hard skill and you will always be in demand. Save your money and maybe you can buy an electric vehicle to save the planet.

“Morning after pills” prevent social diseases. Taking Doxycycline 100mg within 72 hours after unprotected sex reduces Sexually Transmitted Diseases. (90% less chlamydia, 80% less syphilis, and 50% less gonorrhea.) Will people take the medication after each unprotected encounter? Of course not. Why not use condoms? Condoms are cheap (free at the health department) and availability is omnipresent.

It takes a village to raise a child. No. It takes a family. Farming out responsibilities to the community means no one is actually tasked with rearing a child. Some outsiders might help, but since the deemphasizing of the family unit (husband, wife, and child) the moral fiber of our country is down. Drug abuse is up. Shootings are up. Homelessness is up. Crime is up. Immorality is up. National moral is down.

Taxing corporations don’t cost consumers anything. No. All tax increases are passed on to the consumer. Otherwise, corporations will go broke and go out of business, and consumers will lose their services and products.

As Brother Dave Gardner famously said: “Tell me something you believe in. I got enough doubts of my own.”