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SEPTEMBER 15, 2023
AIKEN-AUGUSTA’S MOST SALUBRIOUS NEWSPAPER • FOUNDED IN 2006
former self. Even so, on Sept. 6 the Georgia Department of Public Health reported more than 9,500 confirmed cases in the Peach State over the previous two weeks. The culprits are not the same old COVID, but are variations on the original, the most common of which is one dubbed EG.5, along with another variant known as BA.2.86. Public health experts say people who get the recommended COVID booster vaccines this fall should be well protected from the new variants. They are particularly urging people who are over 65 or have underling health conditions to get boosted. ith all apologies to Miracle Max of The Princess Bride Three vaccines are actually (and if you haven’t seen that movie — inconceivable!), on the menu for many: a sea“There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. sonal flu shot, a COVID booster, Mostly dead is slightly alive.” and the new RSV (respiratory As you may have noticed, COVID-19 is only mostly dead. And syncytial virus) vaccine. it seems to be threatening to become a lot less dead and a lot Will that require three more alive. This has dealt a blow to our long-delayed plans for a separate doctor appointments? cover story in this very newspaper celebrating its death. Many doctors may treat the RSV COVID is not cooperating. vaccine with more caution since It has already long overstayed its welcome. Since the World it’s new and therefore has less Health Organization officially declared COVID-19 to be a panreal-world data, but the CDC endemic almost exactly three and a half years ago, more than 770 dorses taking the flu and COVID million cases have been confirmed worldwide, and more than booster together. Some doctors 6.9 million deaths have been blamed on the virus, 1.1 million of say it’s okay to give the flu and them in the United States. RSV shots together. Since there Despite those staggering numbers and the tragic evidence is evidence that all three are they offer, there are still those who deny that COVID-19 is real. safe to administer at once, the But the virus behind the plague had been identified and isolated concern of some doctors is, if and its complete genome has even been sequenced. they don’t administer them all This very real virus is not going away, and in fact, infections at once, will patients come back have been rising since early July. The CDC said hospitalizations for a second visit? and deaths were up 16% and 17%, respectively, for the last week It’s a great idea to get the of August compared to the week before, but the good news is advice your own doctor has to that, for the moment at least, today’s COVID is a shadow of its offer on this question. +
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PLEASE STOP SAYING COMMITTED SUICIDE
Before my brother Jeff died by suicide, I never thought about the language used to talk about suicide. Immediately following his death and for a long time after, I was in shock, so the terms used to describe how he died mattered little to me. But as time passes and the shock subsides, I’ve discovered that I bristle each time I hear the expression “committed” suicide. Historically, in the United States and beyond, the act of suicide was deemed a crime. Until as recently as 1963, six states still considered attempted suicide a criminal act. This is so insanely absurd to me that I’m not going to expend any more energy on the history of the topic, but if you’re interested, here’s a link: wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_legislation. Thankfully laws have changed, but our language has not. And the residue of shame associated with committing a crime remains attached to suicide. My brother did not commit a crime. He resorted to suicide, which he perceived, in his unwell mind, to be the only possible solution to his tremendous suffering. If I was telling you about a friend or loved one who actually did commit a crime, chances are I’d feel at least a little embarrassment or shame on behalf of that person. But I don’t feel even the tiniest bit of shame about how Jeff died. Of course, I wish with every fiber of my being we’d been able to successfully help Jeff and that he was alive today. Suicide But shame? Nope, I don’t feel Prevention that about my brother. I focus Hotline on how proud I am of who he was in his life – passionate, thoughtful beyond words, brilliant, determined, and braver than most people I know for enduring his pain as long as he did. Yes, my brother Jeff was a brave, brave man. As is any person who grapples with deep emotional distress day after day, year after year.
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SEPTEMBER 15, 2023
THE FIRST 40 YEARS ARE ALWAYS THE HARDEST
MEDICAL MYTHOLOGY
PARENTHOOD by David W. Proefrock, PhD
You caught your 2 year-old daughter taking fish out of the aquarium and giving them to the cat. What should you do? A. Talk to her about how cruel it is to feed the fish to the cat and tell her never to do it again. B. Cruelty to animals is a possible sign of mental illness. Take her to a mental health professional for an evaluation. C. Tell her, “No!” Take her away from the aquarium and let her know you are displeased with her. D. Take her away from the aquarium and clean up the mess. She is too young to understand anything else you could do. If you answered: A. This won’t hurt anything, but she is far too young to understand what you’re talking about. B. She is too young for this to be cruelty and taking her for an evaluation is an overreaction. C. This is the best response. She does understand the word no and that she has done something wrong. That’s about all you can do with a 2 year-old. D. She is too young to understand why it is wrong, but not too young to understand that she has done something wrong and that you are displeased. 2 year-olds don’t understand a great deal about the adult world, but they do, or at least should, understand “no” and that you are displeased with them. + Dr. Proefrock is a retired local clinical and forensic child psychologist.
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PERCEPTION IS REALITY True, sometimes perception is more important than reality. Anyone who hasn’t personally observed that firsthand over the past three years hasn’t been paying attention. Perception was often the only thing that mattered. Facts were irrelevant, hotly contested, or labeled as “alternate.” But this column is about medical mythology, after all, so let’s take a look at a current situation in which perception is definitely not reality. A study published in JAMA Network Open in August investigated public perceptions surrounding the safety of daily cannabis use vs tobacco smoking. What do you think they found? Consider that there have been decades of state, federal, local, and private enterprise laws, regulations and public service campaigns designed to alert people to the dangers of
tobacco smoke, both direct and secondhand. Those efforts are credited with dramatic reductions in adult smoking rates and a huge increase in smokefree environments. In contrast, laws against cannabis are dropping like flies all around the country. Using marijuana, a ticket to jail not too long ago, is gradually becoming much less restricted than tobacco. A Southern Illinois University study even found smoke-free laws being amended to allow exceptions for smoking and vaping of cannabis. Naturally, all of this is sending the very clear message that cannabis is safe and tobacco is not. People are paying attention: the JAMA study found that between 2017 and 2021, “US adults increasingly perceived daily smoking and secondhand exposure to cannabis smoke as safer than tobacco.”
Turns out perception is not always reality. The study went on to state, “these views do not reflect the existing science on cannabis.” Far from being safer than tobacco smoke, “several lines of evidence [link cannabis]... with negative health outcomes analogous to those associated with tobacco smoke.” “Tobacco and cannabis smoke share many chemical compounds that are known carcinogens, and smoking cannabis is associated with increased risk of head and neck and other cancers.” The dangers of tobacco smoke include the proven connection to cardiovascular disease and chronic lung disease caused by particulates in tobacco smoke. Significantly, those same particulates are present in marijuana smoke in even greater quantities than in tobacco smoke. Studies show cannabis use is specifically linked to multiple negative health outcomes ranging from cannabis dependence, increased respiratory symptoms, lower cognitive performance, and increased incidence of psychiatric disorders. It should be noted that there is much less research on marijuana risks than tobacco risks. The early results, however, raise red flags around cannabis use. But here is a serious but straightforward question upon which to ponder: do we really need a study to tell us that inhaling smoke (from any source) into our lungs is a bad idea? +
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THECWORD Of the six cancers that are recognized in September – Childhood Cancer, Gynecological Cancer, Leukemia/ Lymphoma, Ovarian Cancer, Prostate Cancer, and Thyroid Cancer, this edition of The C Word addresses Prostate Cancer, the leading cause of new cancers in men. An estimated 288,000 cases of prostate cancer will be newly diagnosed in 2023 in the U.S., and 34,700 men will die from this leading cancer.1 Alarmingly, new cases of prostate cancer are 70% higher in black men than white men, according to the American Cancer Society, but the reasons for this disparity are not fully understood. Risk Factors Some of the consistent prostate cancer risk factors include increasing age, being of African ancestry, a family history of the disease, and specific inherited genetic conditions. Smoking and excessive body weight (obesity and overweight) contribute to the risk of more aggressive and/or fatal prostate cancers. Some environmental factors also increase the chances of getting prostate cancer,
such as exposure to harmful chemicals. For example, men exposed to Agent Orange, a highly toxic chemical defoliant designed to make trees lose their leaves, sprayed in Vietnam by the U.S. military during the 1960s-70s, were twice as likely to develop prostate cancer, were more likely to develop the disease at a younger age, and had a more aggressive type of prostate cancer compared to men who were not exposed to the chemical.2 Support for Prostate Cancer Survivors – ZERO Us Too Augusta Chapter Prostate cancer patients and survivors often experience a solitary journey as
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AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER
SEPTEMBER 15, 2023
they grapple with their diagnosis, weigh treatment decisions, and adjust to a “new normal” following prostate cancer treatment that can involve surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy. Fortunately, camaraderie and informationsharing are available through the support of other men who have experienced prostate cancer and their families. The Augusta ZERO Us Too Men’s Cancer Support Group was formed for this purpose. This group meets on the third Tuesday of each month from 6:00-7:00PM to remind men that they are not alone and can learn from one another’s experiences and from guest speakers. To learn more, send an email to zeroustooaugusta@gmail.com or visit the website: augustahealth.org/ cancer-care/support-services/ zero-us-too. Oliver Page, president of the Augusta chapter of the ZERO Us Too Men’s Cancer Support Group and a 3-year prostate cancer survivor, wants men to know that “awareness, knowledge, and reassurance result from engaging with your local support group. We are here
Please see THE C WORD page 4
WHAT IS A MEDICALLY INDUCED COMA? Given that our last two installments of “Who Is This?” both featured noted cases of persistent vegetative states, this is a logical follow-up question (although neither of the cases referenced involved medically induced comas). “Medically induced,” incidentally, is the preferred term, since “drug induced coma” can unintentionally imply that the patient is responsible for the situation due to illegal drug use. Since a coma under “natural” circumstances is always the result of something like profound trauma, brain injury, stroke, or drug overdose — in other words, very undesirable things to be avoided at all costs — why would doctors deliberately induce a coma in a patient by choice? Comas are bad, right? Not always. Think of it this way: the last time you had surgery, you were put into a coma. It was a temporary, reversible coma, but it was still a coma (of sorts), and it protected you from extreme pain and movements that would cause even greater pain by interfering with the surgeon’s work. Also, think of it this way: rest is a common response to illness and injury. Get plenty of sleep if you’re sick. Immobilize your ankle and stay off of it after it’s sprained. Doctors employ the same two principles illustrated above to offer the brain a medically-induced rest from its around-theclock duties, and they often use the same anesthetics (propofol, for example) that they would use for an appendectomy or gallbladder surgery. Obviously such drugs induce that delicious sleep we enjoy during medical procedures, but another side benefit of anesthetics is lowering blood pressure. That can be quite beneficial in cases where pressure in the close and confined quarters of the cranium needs to be reduced. A medically induced coma can also be the treatment of choice where no trauma has occurred, such as to combat seizure disorders. This treatment strategy is not without risk, so it’s sometimes used as a last resort, but it’s always administered with great care and constant monitoring. +
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THE C WORD… from page 3
Who is this?
R
egular readers of this column may recall our long-ago admission that the original working title for this feature was “Important People”... and then in a smaller typeface, “You’ve Never Heard Of.” But then we realized that wouldn’t work with the likes of Louis Pasteur, Marie Curie, or even Hippocrates. Hence the title we ended up using. However, this profile would go perfectly with the original plan. It’s a sure bet that very few readers have ever heard of this woman, Tu Youyou. Yet she has saved hundreds of millions of lives through her medical research and discoveries. She might be a stranger to you and me, but the medical community has taken notice: among her many awards and accolades, she is the first Chinese person to receive the coveted Lasker Award for medical research, and in 2015 was awarded the Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine, also a first for anyone from China. Soon to turn 93, Tu’s medical career began at age 16 when she contracted tuberculosis and had to take a two-year break from high school. The experience led to her decision to pursue medicine: “If I could learn and have (medical) skills, I could not only keep myself healthy but also cure many other patients,” she wrote in her Nobel autobiography. After graduation from high school she was accepted by the Department of Pharmacy at the Medical School of Peking University, graduating in 1955. Things got interesting when from 1959 to 1962 Tu participated in a full-time training course in the use of traditional Chinese medicine that was geared toward researchers with knowledge of Western medicine. That knowledge was to provide the catalyst for Tu’s groundbreaking work blending traditional Chinese medical knowledge and Western medicine. The breakthrough came, as is so often the case in medicine, as the result of war. In 1967 Vietnamese president Ho Chi Minh and Chinese premier Zhou Enlai decided to collaborate on a project to find a cure to treat malaria, a fearsome enemy for soldiers on both sides of the Vietnam War, using traditional Chinese medicine. The secret plan was named Project 523 after its launch date, May 23. Tu was appointed to head Project 523. To provide some idea of the enormity of the haystack through which they hunted in hopes of finding one needle, researchers around the world had by 1972 screened well over 240,000 compounds without finding even one that offered a positive outcome against malaria. With guidance from ancient Chinese texts, Tu and her team evaluated another 2,000 traditional Chinese recipes, from which they produced several hundred herbal extracts that all turned out to be ineffective. One particularly noteworthy disappointment was an extract made from sweet wormwood (Artemisia annua). Rereading the ancient writings of one Ge Hong from the year 340, she noted the herb was to be steeped in cool water; Tu had extracted the herb’s active ingredient with boiling water. When they tested the properly extracted extract again, it was 100% effective against malaria. She named the resulting drug artemisinin, and as she noted at the time of her Nobel Prize ceremony in 2015, “Over the past several decades, more than two hundred million malaria patients have received artemisinin.” +
for you. Don’t journey alone.” Prostate cancer support groups are important because “we provide comradery, empathy, security and a warm arm around the shoulder,” according to Terry Leiden, a 20-year past president of the group. National Perspective Augusta University Health’s Dr. Avriup Guha, the director of the Cardio-Oncology Program at Augusta University, specializes in heart issues related to cancer care. As a member of the National Health Equity Task Force for the ZERO prostate organization, he is directly involved in efforts to provide equitable care and outreach to prostate cancer patients. Dr. Guha is
SEPTEMBER 15, 2023
instrumental with advocacy and education for prostate cancer health policy and awareness. The national ZERO Prostate Cancer organization offers resources that include support group listings across the country and a downloadable guidebook for prostate cancer survivors and their families at zerocancer.org. Information about clinical trials research studies for prostate cancer treatments is also available on their website at: zerocancer.org/learn/current-patients/clinical-trials/ find-a-clinical-trial. “The C Word” is a newsbrief of the Georgia Cancer Center at Augusta University. For cancer information, visit: au-
gusta.edu/cancer/community. To request exhibits or speaking engagements, contact Christine O’Meara at comeara@ augusta.edu or 706-721-8353. Virtual presentations in order to follow Coronavirus precautions are available. Sources: 1. American Cancer Society (ACS) Cancer Facts & Figures, 2023. cancer.org/research/cancer-facts-statistics/all-cancer-factsfigures/2023-cancer-facts-figures. html 2. Chamie K, deVere White RW, Lee D, Ik J, Ellison LM. Agent Orange exposure, Vietnam War veterans, and the risk of prostate cancer. Cancer. 2008. hacsjournals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/ doi/10.1002/cncr.23695#:~:text=Patients%20who%20were%20 exposed%20to,001). https://doi. org/10.1002/cncr.23695 +
SHORTSTORIES
MY DUMBEST PATIENT? I am an optician (I handle primary eye care, glasses, contacts, and prescriptions). One day a 20-something year old patient came into my office complaining that her eyes itched and burned for the last two weeks and were now starting to hurt. I pulled her chart and saw she was a contact lens patient of ours from a little over five years ago. I asked if she was wearing her contacts. She told me yes. I put her in the exam chair and looked at her eyes under biomicroscopy. The contact lenses in her eyes looked dry, brittle and had visible specs of dust, debris, and other deposits all over them. I asked her when was the last time she cleaned her contacts. She stumbled over her words while telling me she cleaned them before she came. Which is already a red flag because who cleans them in the middle of the day? So I asked her to remove them. They were so dry and brittle in my hand I could break them like pieces of thin plastic. When I inverted her eye lids to check for infection, she had small pimples and cysts all under them called G.P.C. (Google “giant papillary conjunctivitis.” It’s gross)
I asked her if she slept in her contacts. She said no, which I thought was an obvious lie. So I asked what brand she wears now, and she told me she hasn’t changed the brand since she was last here. But the brand we gave her was Acuvue 2, which had been discontinued three years prior and were no longer available. Which led me to ask if she was still wearing contacts from the boxes we gave her five years ago. Not surprisingly, she said yes. Mind you, we only gave her a few months’ supply as a courtesy since she said she could buy them cheaper online than what we sold them for. These lenses were not meant to be slept in, and certainly not meant to be reused for longer than two weeks, and certainly not reworn for five years! Expiration dates on these boxes matter, folks. She ended up needing surgery from an ophthalmologist to repair damage to her conjunctiva and eyelids, a blephex treatment for her lid margins, and will probably never be able to wear contacts ever again. Listen to your opticians, people. We are licensed practitioners for a reason. +
s SALUBRIOUS y SALUBRIOUS u g r e h t o The SALUBRIOUS The Exam SALUBRIOUS
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AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER
ADVENTURES IN
Middle Age BY J.B. COLLUM
away about five years ago, he wanted to go be by her side. When her father abandoned them when they were still very young, it was my father who stepped in and became their father figure. He spent as much time as he could with them, even though this meant he had to travel quite a ways. It left a bitterness in him toward his brother that took many decades to fade away. My father just couldn’t imagine anyone abandoning their children, and he loved his nephew and three nieces like they were his own. My mother also stepped up once she and my father were together and did what they could for them. When my father wasn’t able to go to Cathy’s side at the hospital, I saw the pain on his face. His brother had since reconciled with his children and he had gone through a complete remodeling of his personality as he tried to make up for lost time, but he had passed away the year earlier. So with my father unable to go, I was drafted to be our representative. Over the course of the next several weeks, my wife and I spent a lot of time in Alabama and on the roads in between there and home, but some of our adult children also accompanied us at other times. Cathy’s children and siblings also spent some time there as they were able and we saw her through many rough patches, but she ultimately was not able to overcome her malady and she too passed away early in that summer. Our final act for her was to attend her memorial service in Mobile, Alabama. Once again, with my father unable to attend due to health issues, it was incumbent upon me to be there in his place. It really hurt him that he couldn’t be there, and it was clear on his face when he told me that. He was, however, relieved and appreciative of those of us in the family who did make it. He and my mother even specifically said that they were proud that I would represent my father there. I didn’t know then that my part-time job of patriarch would become full-time just a little over three years later when my father too passed away. Jimmy Buffett was born the year following my father, so he was among the last of the so-called silent generation and Mr. Buffett was among the first of the baby boomers. I myself am in the vanguard of Generation X, so the younger members of our generation will watch our ranks diminish soon, though it is already starting to happen. I don’t know how much longer I have, but I hope that I am generating great memories with my children and grandchildren that they will remember fondly as they hear the soundtrack of our lives playing softly despite the loss of the artists that created it for us. But don’t rush your exit. Try to stick it out until the end of the third act and maybe even ride off into the sunset like the stars of the
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One of the reminders that we are growing older is when artists and writers that we grew up with and cherish start to pass away, especially when they do so en masse. This past week marked the passing of two of my favorite musical artists, Jimmy Buffett and Gary Wright. They weren’t the only ones who died this week, but they were the two that impacted me the most. Jimmy Buffett especially so. Like John Denver, Rush, Yes, Boston, Pink Floyd, ELO, Van Halen, Lynard Skynard, Asia, Led Zepplin, Journey, REO Speedwagon, Styx, Roger Whittaker, The Beatles, The Beach Boys, and quite a few other musical acts, so much of his music is part of the fabric of my memories. Beach trips always meant that Jimmy would be on the 8-track, or cassette mixtape, or mix-CD and finally, in modern times, on our MP3/phone playlist in quantity. It isn’t a real beach trip if we don’t have Margaritaville, Changes in Latitude, Changes in Attitude, Son of a Son of a Sailor, He Went to Paris, Cheeseburger in Paradise, Fins, Volcano, A Pirate Looks at Forty, Come Monday, Boat Drinks, Grapefruit-Juicy Fruit, Pencil Thin Mustache, and more playing as our soundtrack. And I know that we can’t go to the mountains without overdosing on John Denver. It hit me a little harder this past week too because it is the second anniversary of losing my father to our old nemesis, death. It isn’t that I miss the people like Jimmy Buffett and John Denver because I never even met them, but since their music was and will continue to be so integral to my life and memories, they also remind me of great times with my father, my mother (who thankfully is still with us), my siblings, my wife and children and good friends. Like my father, some of my old friends are just a memory now, but the music helps keep them alive in my heart. It is bittersweet when certain songs play because I can still see and hear my father singing along, or sometimes just humming and improvising a lot because he rarely remembered the words. He also had this thing where he would move his hands as he sang like he was conducting an orchestra. He never learned to play a musical instrument or lead a band. That was Mom’s thing. But he was the leader of our band, our family. He has passed the baton down now and I am the patriarch. It’s a role that I still feel supremely unsuited for, but a role that I will strive to fill nevertheless, because that is what he would expect of me, and I never want to disappoint him. Even when he was still alive but in such poor health that he couldn’t do what he felt was needed of him, I stepped in, sometimes at his explicit direction and sometimes because I already knew what he wanted of me. Like when my cousin, Cathy, was in critical condition in a hospital two states
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THE MUSIC NEVER DIES
Please see MIDDLE AGE page 9
PLEASE STOP… from page 1 So to say that someone “committed” suicide feels offensive to me, and I’m not easily offended. The offense is in the inaccuracy. With that said, I don’t judge people for using this expression; until August 17, 2007, I did the same. But now I don’t. And I humbly ask that you consider the same. When you have occasion to talk about suicide, please try to refer to someone dying by suicide. By shifting our language around suicide, we have the power to reduce some of the massive shame carried by survivors of suicide. If you feel scared or helpless about what to say to someone who’s lost someone to suicide, take comfort in knowing that by changing your language about suicide, you’re offering a countercultural act of kindness. It might seem small, but the interpersonal and political impact is huge. +
— by Kyle F.
SHORTSTORIES
KARMA EVENTUALLY DOES ITS THING There was a woman who was very well known to our ER staff. She was often treated by us after being beaten up by her husband. Her injuries ranged from black eyes and burns to lacerations and broken bones. One night she came in, having been badly beaten, and left after getting stitched up once again. She claimed it would never happen again, but we’d heard that many times before and knew better. She always refused to charge him with assault, and back in those days the police didn’t go after wife beaters unless the victim agreed to charges. But later on that night her husband arrived in the ER DOA, with an ax buried in the middle of his forehead. That was a strange sight to behold although, to be completely honest, somewhat gratifying. +
SHORTSTORIES
WHEN DOCTORS FIRE PATIENTS A 70 year-old woman accompanied by her 50 year-old son was scheduled to see me for her second follow-up appointment. As I was about to enter their exam room where they awaited me, my medical assistant called me aside. She wanted to warn me that these patients may be fairly unpleasant as they had yelled at the front desk staff. I asked why, and when my assistant could not explain, I walked to the reception desk to learn more. There I saw one of our receptionists wiping back tears under her glasses, trying to help the next patient in line. I pulled her aside and asked what happened. She told me that both the son and mother aggressively yelled and criticized her about a number of problems, such as billing and call wait times, all of which were beyond her control. She tried to calm them, but that only escalated their verbal abuse. Her fellow receptionists and another medical assistant witnessed and confirmed this account. I apologized that one of my patients treated her this way and thanked her for her efforts. Upon entering the exam room and greeting the mother and son, I saw that they were all smiles with me. They thanked me for my excellent service and said they only had a few questions for me today. I interrupted them and asked what had occurred at the reception desk. They tried to laugh it off at first, and then tried without success to justify their actions. I explained that we work in my office as a team, and that mutual respect, both among the staff and between staff and patients, is of the utmost importance. We expect our patients to treat us in kind. I asked that they apologize to my receptionist. They refused. I calmly stated that I could therefore no longer be their doctor and politely asked that they leave my office. The yelling that had started at the front desk resumed as they stormed out of the office shouting, “I’ve never been treated like this my whole life!” +
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SWEET THANG & THE PICKUP TRUCK Desso was a solid man. He had one white shirt and two pairs of overalls. One pair of overalls, he worked in every day. The other, he wore to church with the white shirt once a month. He believed if your religion needed recharging more than once a month, you needed a stronger religion. Once he had a tiny house. It burned down, so he moved into his pack house where he sheeted up what little tobacco crop he grew and sold for money that had to last all year. He had a stove, a bed, running water from his handdug well, and a battered old truck of questionable reliability. He was getting by just fine for post-WWII times. Desso figured if you made do with what you had, God would provide a little extra once in a while, one way or another. He was a good farmer. His tobacco allotment was 2 acres, and he brought in one ton per acre each year. Top quality tobacco sold for 65 cents a pound. There were various tobacco markets
BASED ON A TRUE STORY (most of the time) A series by Bad Billy Laveau
within 30 miles. Desso did not believe you should sell all at once, nor all in one place. The Good Lord liked for you to be fair. One particular year, Desso sold only one sheet of tobacco in Douglas, Georgia. For each sheet of tobacco (about 200 pounds), he received a raffle ticket. At market end, a street dance (euphemistically called a jamboree) drew people from miles around. It was free. All the RC Colas you could drink and unlimited donuts. Local bands. Church choirs. Dancing of all sorts. Some you could recognize. And yes, there was some hip-pocket moonshine sipped on the sly. Men only. Women didn’t indulge in such misbehavior.
Periodically during the evening they drew tickets for various prizes. A suit of men’s clothes. A few dresses. $20 worth of groceries. Back then, that was more than a grown man could carry. And finally came the drawing for the climax of the night: A NEW CAR, a green 1948 Chevy coupe! You had to be present to win. Everybody was nervous and expectant. Sweaty hands held tickets. Stone cold silence gripped the crowd. A pretty girl whirled the rotating wire basket and pulled out the momentous ticket. Time went into low gear. The mayor read the numbers, slow and clear. The Sheriff was on hand to be sure nothing nefarious erupted. The winner let out a whoop and charged forth. And wouldn’t you too? Waving hands and arms like a pond scoggin taking flight. Someone had sold only one sheet of tobacco in Douglas and with that single ticket had won the biggest prize there was. It was Desso, of
course. The Good Lord had provided. He always does sooner or later when it’s His will. Desso had optimistically hitched a ride to the Douglas Tobacco Jamboree. He drove home in style in his shiny new ’48 Chevy coupe. It had a full gas tank. For the next few days, he tooled about showing off his new car. Of course, he wore his Sunday overall and white shirt. Nobody expected less. Then, out of nowhere, a town woman showed up who was not opposed to living in a pack house with Desso. But after all, Desso had the newest car, far or near. Desso let Sweet Thang drive him around, showing off their new-found wealth. Both of them more than a bit proud. Before the coupe, no women had been beating down his door, so Desso was more than receptive in his shy sort of way. Things went pretty good for a couple weeks, until Desso went to town by himself one day and returned with something more practical for a shirt tail tobacco farmer: a pickup truck. Desso had no real use for a two door coupe. It was a town car. But a new pickup? Now that was something else. Desso was now a man of purpose.
However, Sweet Thang was less than thrilled. Sweet Thang also found out that Desso’s saving account had all of $38. He put in $5 each year except one year when times were hard and $3 was all he could afford. Living in a pack house and riding in a farm pickup was not in her plans. Sweet Thang stuck her nose in the air and was out of there faster than a scalded house cat, no paper work necessary. Was Desso embarrassed? Sad? Depressed? Scarred for life? Suicidal? In need of professional counselling? Suffering from a semi-terminal funk? Did he get drunk for a week? Heavens no! A month before, he didn’t have a woman, a new truck, or wild tales about questionable morality to recount. He was better off afterwards and appreciated his God given good fortune. Desso lived out his life in the pack house, untroubled by women, driving his slowly aging pickup truck and growing tobacco. He was a solid man who did not let materialism warp his soul. He remained true to himself and who he was. He was buried in his Sunday go-tomeeting overalls and white shirt. How many of us are as strong or fortunate as Desso? +
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TRYTHISDISH SEPTEMBER 15, 2023
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AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER
...unless they’re from Parks Pharmacy!
by Kim Beavers, MS, RDN, CDCES Registered Dietitian Nutritionist, Chef Coach, Author Follow Kim on Facebook: facebook.com/eatingwellwithkimb
CURRIED PUMPKIN SOUP This interesting soup is great as a first course for an elegant dinner or with sandwiches while watching the big game.
P
ARKS
HARMACY
Ingredients • 1 tsp. olive oil • ½ cup minced onion • 15-ounce can solid-pack pumpkin (not pie filling) • 1-½ cup water • 1 tsp. curry powder • ½ tsp. salt • 1/8 tsp. cayenne • 1 cup fat-free half-and-half • 1 Tbs. light tub margarine • 1 tsp. sugar
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Directions Heat a medium saucepan over medium heat. Pour the oil into the pan and swirl to coat the bottom. Cook the onion for 4 minutes, stirring frequently. Stir in the pumpkin, water, curry powder, salt, and cayenne. Increase the heat to high and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat and simmer uncovered
for 10 minutes. Remove form the heat. Stir in the half-and-half, margarine, and sugar. Cover and let stand for 3 minutes to allow the flavors to blend before serving. Yield: 4 servings (serving size: 1 cup) Nutrition Breakdown: Calories 110, Fat 2.5g (0.5g saturated fat, 1.5g monounsaturated fat), Cholesterol 0mg,
Sodium 381mg, Carbohydrate 20g, Fiber 4g, Protein 5g. Carbohydrate Choices: 1 Carbohydrate Diabetes Exchanges: 2½ Vegetable, ½ Milk, ½ Fat Cook’s tip on canned pumpkin: Check the label on the can when you shop for pumpkin. For this recipe the only ingredient that should be listed is 100 percent pure pumpkin puree. +
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AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER
SEPTEMBER 15, 2023
A PARTY MOST WILL MISS! by Ken Wilson Steppingstones to Recovery
One of the periodicals I subscribe to gives a monthly listing of special events around the state of Georgia. A pet peeve of mine is getting the magazine a couple weeks late and missing a great event I would have enjoyed had I known in time! Since 1989, September has been designated as National Recovery Month, with the color purple as its distinguishing mark. Like many of those specially designated days during the year, from National Secretary Day to National Singles Day (yep… check that out!), Recovery Month slips by most people who might enjoy its events whether they are in recovery from addiction or not. These days, most people have relatives and nearly everybody has friends who have lost loved ones to addiction.
September is the month set aside to spread the word that recovery is for everyone. In Augusta there are a number of events that bring the hope of recovery to the public eye. One such event will be – ok, was – like the one that peeves me! By the time this page reaches you it will be history! This year. Watch out for social media ads next year! The Augusta Coalition for Addiction Recovery (AugustaCARA.org) is a 15-year-old networking group of businesses in the recovery field who meet monthly to share news & notes and provide mutual support. Their annual dinner event was September 7, and guest speaker Kevin Peterson, from Jacksonville and the author of Chronic Hope, spoke about the importance of family recovery. More than 100 people attended the event. On September 13 (Oh no!
It’s history already! But don’t despair…click on mobilizedrecoveryacrossgeorgia.com for one of 48 free parties in GA – several yet to come, not far from Augusta!) the Clinton Foundation’s Overdose Response Network is bringing a party bus to the Julian Smith Casino from 6 – 8 p.m. to distribute free Naloxone, provide food and live entertainment, and have powerful testimonials by individuals in long term recovery. It promises to be quite a free show for anyone, whether in recovery or not. This program is in response to drug overdose deaths in Georgia increasing by 56% from 2019 to 2021. Hopefully you’ll see the same event in a nearby town that you can attend and help the 800,000 people in longterm recovery in Georgia grow to a larger number! Believe it or not, one event is actually still to come this
month! On Saturday, September 30, the Hope House for Women will be hosting their annual Rally for Recovery from 11 a.m. – 3 p.m. at The Anderson’s Farm, 160 Louisville Road, Grovetown. It is a stellar annual event by this nationally recognized hometown women’s in-house substance abuse treatment program that sounds the message of hope and success in many ways. This year’s event is sponsored by Lanier’s Meat Market, who will be out there grilling and rallying for this superlative program. There are other similar events this month as well… look and listen around this relatively new term “social media” for snippets and ads. Do not overlook local everyday meetings about recovery, whether in the month of September or not. Meetings such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcot-
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN A monthly series by an Augusta drug treatment professional
ics Anonymous are largely closed meetings for the “afflicted” members only, BUT! these groups also have meetings the general public can attend, called “open” meetings – for the most part they are “speakers” meetings. Go to alcoholicsanonymous.com and na.org to find local meetings of this type. I assure you that it will be an unforgettable experience. I have been to around 1,000 of these meetings over the past 36 years and have never left disappointed. Don’t miss Recovery Month parties! You Don’t even have to BYOB! +
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movies where heroes don’t die. They just fade away. Hopefully the memories don’t fade away though. In the end, that might be all we have. I don’t want to close on a sad note though, so let me share something interesting that I have been reading about lately: negative ions. No. Go back and read that again. I didn’t write “negative icons,” like a famous person who sets a bad example, though we have a bumper crop of them. I meant negative ions, atoms that have an extra electron and so have a negative charge instead of being neutral. I’m not a scientist and I haven’t played one on TV, and I don’t even own a lab coat, so take this with a grain of sodium chloride, but according to an article I read on Web MD and several other similar articles I found, breathing in and being around negative ions can improve your health. Especially your mental health. Where can you find these negative ions in their natural habitat? Well, that is the interesting part. Where do you feel the happiest? Is it at the beach? Maybe it’s in the mountains. Or how about standing near a waterfall? Guess what? That is where you find the most naturally occurring negative ions. And I thought that peaceful easy feeling was from the beauty, the smells, the sounds, and the fact that if you are at one of those places it most likely means you are on vacation. But apparently there is more to it than that. So if you are feeling blue, why not try to find a beach, a waterfall, or some mountains to spend some time in and see how it works for you. Because despite what we are facing, if we can be happy, we can be healthier and we can face the challenges that middle-age brings. Let me know how your search for negative ions goes. In the meantime, I am testing a negative ion generator a friend gifted us and I will let you know how that goes. +
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SEPTEMBER 15, 2023
CRASH
COURSE
More Americans have died on US roads since 2006 than in World Wars I & II combined
M
for comfort. So he waits for the car to pass — only the car doesn’t pass. It slows down and turns. No blinker. The suicide lane driver becomes highly annoyed because he could have easily and safely turned, yet because the other driver failed to use turn signals he just lost a full ten seconds of his life. He tailgates the blinker-free car down the street or into the parking lot, maybe following the person home and confronting them verbally — or worse. No question, that is inexcusable behavior. But it could have been avoided if the first driver 1.) obeyed the law by using their turn signal, or even if they were unaware of that law, 2.) practiced simple courtesy. Not using blinkers is basically bad manners. And like honesty, it’s best practiced at all times, even when no one’s looking. Using blinkers all the time, even when no other car is nearby, makes it automatic when other cars are around.
Custom Framing Custom Mirrors
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TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU Part 1
1. What are turn signals? Don’t laugh. Many people have no idea their cars are equipped with these convenient signaling devices. (Consult your owners manual for operating instructions.) How can a blinker — or the lack thereof — make someone angry? Let me count the ways. Here’s an example: let’s say someone is sitting in the suicide lane waiting to make a left turn. He could make the turn except for a lone approaching car. Maybe he could make it, but he decides it’s just slightly too close
2. Don’t be so cautious Yes, you read that right. Being too cautious can be unsafe. Some situations that would be perfectly acceptable in a perfect world are not acceptable in our very imperfect world with its rude and impatient drivers. Here’s an everyday scenario we’ve all seen: the car ahead of you is turning left. So are you. Of course, you have to wait your turn. And in this case, wait a lot. And then wait some more. In your opinion, the driver ahead of you could have safely turned five different times, even if they were in a horse-drawn carriage. Are they really that cautious? Or are they looking at their phone in the middle of the intersection? What is going on? In situations like the one described, even a normally mild-mannered person can get annoyed and impatient. That’s understandable. Maybe you’re in a huge hurry and you’re already late. Annoyance happens. We’re human, most of us. Here is the key question: how will we react to such situations? While it may be true that some drivers can be unreasonably cautious, that’s no excuse for us to also get unreasonable. Like the guy above, upset about the lack of blinkers, remember that the other driver’s annoying behavior is costing us seconds, not minutes. It’s no big deal. As for you slowpokes, by all means don’t overdrive your capabilities, but do keep in mind there are others on the road, and each car is part of the recipe for smooth flow. + In part 2: More stuff to hate on the highway
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aybe it’s just us, but from our perch here at the Medical Examiner’s sprawling world headquarters in Augusta, the very fabric of society seems to be unraveling before our very eyes. TV ads for major companies use words that sound very similar to what George Carlin once said you couldn’t say on television (without getting arrested); one company after another reports hundreds of millions of dollars in annual losses due to shoplifting; coordinated smash and grab robberies in broad daylight take hundreds of thousands of dollars more within seconds; political leaders shrug off well-documented offenses, the mere whisper of which in decades past would have resulted in career-ending shame. And within the context of Crash Course, many drivers not only don’t stop for yellow lights anymore; it’s very common to see cars still running the red when the crossing street’s light has already gone green. The erosion of law and order seems to be everywhere, but behind the wheel it can be life-threatening just from the standpoint of collisions alone. In what seems to be an increasingly lawless society, however, it raises the additional risk of road rage, a growing plague. With this installment we begin a brief series about driving behaviors that may or may not be illegal, but either way they annoy other drivers. Annoyed drivers are usually bad drivers. And let’s stipulate from the outset: motorists who act on their annoyance in an impatient or even vindictive manner are just as bad as the original offender, if not far worse. We are not suggesting that road rage is somehow excused by someone else’s bad driving that “caused” it. Drivers who can’t control their emotions or who use their vehicle to wreak vengeance on others really have no business having a drivers license. But the hotheads are always going to be there. What are some of the things that set them off, things good drivers shouldn’t be doing anyway?
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the blog spot — posted by an anonymous physician on August 23, 2023
FACING UNBEARABLE STRAIN IN THE TRENCHES OF HEALTHCARE I’m so sorry, but the pain was too much, and I couldn’t continue. I have witnessed patients crying themselves to sleep while nurses held their hands, praying for their treatments to be approved, giving them one more chance at life. Nurses try to juggle 8, 9, 10, or more patients during their shifts, holding onto their compassion with the last thread of hope that things will improve. Yet, they’ve also seen many colleagues leave inpatient care due to the greater stress, longer hours, and lower pay compared to clinics nearby. Pharmacists struggle to find cheaper options that provide the care their patients need without burdening an already struggling system. Technicians work tirelessly to ensure all the X-rays, MRIs, ultrasounds, echocardiograms, and other studies are completed to find out what the patients need to recover. Environmental Services teams, often understaffed as they can earn more elsewhere, rush from floor to floor to keep beds clean and hallways free of litter while ensuring towels and linens are stocked. Food and nutrition workers work furiously, with little time to prepare their own meals, to serve hundreds of patients. Security guards do their best to keep the staff safe, especially in an era where people bring guns into places meant for healing. Physicians and advanced practice providers are doing all they can to follow the Hippocratic oath and not lose their empathy or altruistic idealism. They are caring for increasing numbers of patients with decreasing resources. Everyone in the hospital trenches fights hard to care for patients, but they have forgotten that they don’t have to fight this battle alone. We are all in this struggle together. The clock is ticking on length of stay, observation hours, door-to-doc time in the ED, on-time starts in the OR, and the pressure to do things faster and “more efficiently.” Financial pressures loom, bringing sweat to my brow and blurring my vision. I can’t see a way to move on. I can’t continue living in a world where caring for others has become a battle for survival of the fittest, favoring those who know more about running a business than holding a hand. I see no way forward and no way out. I apologize, but you will have to go on without me. In my final moments, I ask two questions: How did we get here, and what will you do when I’m gone? +
WE ARE ALL DOING OUR VERY BEST
The author is an anonymous physician.
11 +
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The Examiners
SEPTEMBER 15, 2023
THE MYSTERY WORD
+
by Dan Pearson
Have you been putting on Unfortunately, a few pounds lately? yes
I hate to, say it but you re getting some man boobs.
I was hoping , it wasn t that noticeable
I thought so.
Hey! My eyes are up here!
The Mystery Word for this issue: NSSIETF
© 2023 Daniel Pearson All rights reserved.
Simply unscramble the letters, then begin exploring our ads. When you find the correctly spelled word HIDDEN in one of our ads — enter at AugustaRx.com
EXAMINER CROSSWORD
PUZZLE
ACROSS 1. Hyper letters 5. Relating to the foot 10. Kitty in an office wager 14. Hawaiian outdoor feast 15. Nimble 16. Doing nothing 17. Shakespeare was one 18. Collection of fact books 20. Large area employer 21. Matured 22. Pyromaniac’s deed 23. Go from first to second 25. Drug category, in brief 26. Type of net 28. USC Aiken team 31. Liquid waste 32. Noted art family 34. I Like _____ (50s campaign slogan) 36. Assemble 37. Orchard of local note 38. Egg cell 39. NBC show 40. Aquatic opossum 41. Over or under follower 42. An ad (in the UK) 44. Justly 45. North American deer 46. Spider identified by this word (and its color) 47. Sound of a bagpipe 50. Having a sound mind 51. It was between GRU and AU 54. Not divided; whole 57. Sudden sharp pain 58. Eating regimen 59. Body landmark 60. Skin eruption 61. Legal postponement 62. Mimicry 63. Norse god of thunder
BY
2
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18
20
7
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10
30
E 8 3 7 1 9 5 S X 9 6 7 1 U A 7 8 5 1 D M I 9 8 5 7 O N8 5 4 7 K 8 E R 2 9 5 4 3 U
25 28 32
36
33
34
37
35
38
40
41
43
44
45 48
29
13
19
27
42
12
16
24
39
11
22
31
47
8
21 23
26
6
We’ll announce the winner in our next issue!
46
49
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51
54
55
56
58
59
60
61
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52
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by Daniel R. Pearson © 2023 All rights reserved.
DIRECTIONS: Every line, vertical and horizontal, and all nine 9-square boxes must each contain the numbers 1 though 9. Solution on page 14.
by Daniel R. Pearson © 2023 All rights reserved.
DOWN 1. Hollywood’s Jessica 2. Couple or pair 3. Longest-serving mayor in Atlanta history 4. A flop 5. Appease; placate 6. The Nile flows through it 7. Gaming cubes 8. Entirely 9. Zodiac sign 10. Georgia county named for the 14th US president 11. Probability 12. Potpourri 13. Containing little fat 19. Cabbage ______ 21. Ceremony 24. Seize (archaic or poetic) 25. Solemn promise 26. Totals 27. James Brown is one 28. Quarter bushel 29. Major local artery
QUOTATIONPUZZLE
30. Cranium 32. Cried 33. NBA’s Ming 35. TV award 37. Riverwalk, for example 38. Home of Case Western Reserve University 40. Shouts 41. Walk in shallow water 43. Truth 44. In a very skilled manner 46. Word that can precede log or pistol 47. Unexplained death of a baby (acronym) 48. Make a sweater 49. The very ____! 50. Ballesteros, to friends 52. Monte’s last name? 53. Lyft competitor 55. Entry level nurse (abbrev) 56. Knock vigorously 57. Calendar abbrev.
,
N E F T H T U T N A S A E Y Y B N I S E M Y N M O H G D G I I U by Daniel R. Pearson © 2023 All rights reserved
1 8 6 5 9 4 W I E L 3A 7 S F R W 5 1 S I L M 2 9 8 6 E 4 3 7 2 — Benjamin Franklin
DIRECTIONS: Recreate a timeless nugget of wisdom by using the letters in each vertical column to fill the boxes above them. Once any letter is used, cross it out in the lower half of the puzzle. Letters may be used only once. Black squares indicate spaces between words, and words may extend onto a second line. Solution on page 14.
Solution p. 14
Use the letters provided at bottom to create words to solve the puzzle above. All the listed letters following #1 are the first letters of the various words; the letters following #2 are the second letters of each word, and so on. Try solving words with letter clues or numbers with minimal choices listed. A sample is shown. Solution on page 14.
1
2
3
1 2 3 4
1 2 3 4 5 1
1
L 1 2 3 4
2 -
H 4 5
3 1
2
3
A A 1 2 3 4 5 6
1 2 4
5
6
B 1 2 3 4 5 6 — Ann Landers
1 2 3
7
1 . B A D T T T W I N L A 2 . R R H H A S I L E E 3 . W E E E L KA U T 4 . A S N E T T L 5 . DY E S H 6 . R S E 7 . D
SAMPLE:
1. ILB 2. SLO 3. VI 4. NE 5. D =
L 1
O 2
V 3
E 4
I 1
S 2
B 1
L 2
I 3
N 4
D 5
by Daniel R. Pearson © 2023 All rights reserved
WORDS NUMBER
1
Click on “MYSTERY WORD” • DEADLINE TO ENTER: NOON, OCT. 1, 2023
3 7 2 4 6 8 5 9 1
7 8 3 6 2 5 4 1 9
2 1 5 9 7 4 3 8 6
9 4 6 8 3 1 2 7 5
SEPTEMBER 15, 2023
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AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER
THEBESTMEDICINE ha... ha...
A
very unhappily married couple had their biggest and worst argument yet, which ended with the wife ordering her husband to pack his bags and get out. As he walked out the door she screamed, “I hope you spend the rest of your life in misery and pain!” The husband turned back, dropped his bag in frustrated exhaustion and said, “Make up your mind. One minute you’re telling me to get out, and now you want me to stay.” Moe: I was in New York last week at the racetrack. Joe: How’d you make out? Moe: The horse I put a hundred bucks on came in at twenty five to one. Joe: Whoa, with those odds you must have made a bundle. Moe: Not really. The rest of the horses came in at twelve-thirty. Moe: I think airlines should charge by the pound, just like they do for any other freight. Joe: British Airways already does that.
The
Advice Doctor
Moe: If somebody challenged you to take a dare with a 50/50 guaranteed chance of either $50 million or death, would you take it? Joe: In a heartbeat, absolutely. Moe: Why? Joe: Because either way I don’t have to go to work tomorrow. Moe: Are you going to get the COVID booster this fall? Joe: No way. That voodoo juju is killing people. Moe: Look, first you guys said everyone who got vaccinated would get mad cow disease and be dead within 2 years. Then it was 3 to 5 years, now it’s 8 to 10 years. What’s next? Joe: Mark my words, eventually 100% of the people who got the COVID vaccine will be dead. Moe: I actually believe you. Moe: The other day I overheard my wife talking to her friends about me. Joe: What did she say? Moe: She compared me to Brad Pitt. Joe: Seriously? Exactly what did she say? Moe: She said I look nothing like him. Moe: What do you call a cow with no legs? Joe: Severely disabled. Moe: What’s with this crazy new diet of yours? Joe: You mean eating only escargot? Moe: That would be the one. Joe: I’m trying to avoid fast food. +
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Dear Advice Doctor, This summer my family and I had the opportunity to visit Japan. What an amazing adventure! We loved the calming serenity of beautiful Zen gardens surrounding ancient temples. We didn’t exactly care for the opposite — being packed like sardines into the commuter trains of Tokyo — but from our arrival to the day we left it was a fascinating look at a culture very different from our own. I’d like to recommend it to all your readers. — Back Home and Happy Dear Back Home, Thank you for sharing your experience. Welcome home! Even though you’re now back in your American routine, I want to change your mind about something you mentioned: you apparently don’t have a positive opinion of sardines. I’d like to suggest a few reasons for you to reconsider that viewpoint. Sardines are actually a very salubrious food — and they taste good too! They’re a great source of calcium, iron, vitamin D, and Omega-3 fatty acids. A Harvard University study revealed that eating just one or two servings of sardines per week provides enough Omega-3s to reduce the #1 cause of death in the US — heart disease — by more than a third. That’s huge, but there’s more: Omega-3 can help prevent type 2 diabetes. Making sardines a regular part of a diet can also help reduce inflammation, providing a good-tasting source of relief for conditions like arthritis. As we age, bone health becomes increasingly important, and thankfully sardines help promote stronger bones. That’s because sardines are an excellent source of calcium, iron, and vitamin D. Vitamin D helps the body absorb calcium, so their presence in sardines makes for a very convenient combo. Sardines are also a great source of phosphorus, which helps neutralize acids that otherwise can attack and weaken bones. Sardines are also a great source of vitamin B12, which promotes optimal nerve function. There are drawbacks for some people: sardines can be high in sodium, which isn’t a good thing for those with high blood pressure. The solution if you love sardines? Go salt-free with the rest of your meal and low-salt with the rest of your diet. People with gout or who are susceptible to kidney stones may also have to go easy on sardines and get their Omega-3 fix from fish oil supplements. Not nearly as flavorful! Thanks again for writing. I hope I answered your question. + Do you have a question for The Advice Doctor about life, love, personal relationships, career, raising children, or any other important topic? Send it to News@AugustaRx.com. Replies will be provided only in the Examiner.
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KNOWN PRINCIPLES IN MEDICINE: 1. Doctors should never be their own patients, and 2. Don’t look for zebras unless you’re in Africa. So when a young medical student who was doing her internship in our office went to the student health clinic and announced that she thought she had a rare bacterial infection that was acquired through contact with tropical birds, the doctor on call, who happened to be one of her medical school professors, basically patted her on the head and told her never to diagnose herself. Then she got really sick. Really, really sick. I went to visit her in the hospital. I was the only one in the office to do so, but I had a really bad feeling. The resident caring for her told me that she was in serious danger of dying because they could not find the right antibiotic because they could not determine which bacteria was making her sick, so they were giving her the most powerful general antibiotics they had. He wasn’t sure she wanted to see me because she was so very sick, but she agreed and I gave her as much comfort as I could. Fortunately, they figured out what she had. It was a rare bacterial infection that was acquired through contact with tropical birds. She had known exactly which bacteria she had right from the start. She had recently been to a tropical bird show, which she had told her professor. He just didn’t believe her because he was following those first two principles I stated. He forgot that there’s a third one. 3. Sometimes the medical student is right. + Headquarters for the well dressed man since 1963
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