Medical Examiner 12-3-21 by Daniel Pearson

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DECEMBER 3, 2021

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Exasperating Day A NEW FRONTIER PART 2

It was a most exasperating week for Bodacious Bonnie as she told Flatwoods Frankie. I am truly a Bionic Woman now, with twin stainless steel knee replacements, along with a 5-inch steel plate and 7 screws in my busted right elbow. If I try flying commercial, I’ll set off metal detectors in three lines at once. Disaster-clad security goons will come running, stun guns and battle axes at the ready. Local cops will go to Def-Con 4. Distress calls to Washington might awaken Biden long enough for him to appoint a committee to figure a way to blame Trump. On the other hand, maybe Methuselah I ain’t. Trump really did plan it all before But I’m gaining he left office. We’ll never know for sure. on him. But I had bigger problems at home recovering from my latest orthopedic misadventure. My Diet Dr. Pepper levels felt dangerously low. Due to some horrendous oversight, Diet Dr. Pepper is not served in the hospital, nor at the Rehab Center. Can you believe that? Luckily, I had 7 bottles of Diet Dr. Pepper safely stashed in my pantry. One never knows when disaster might strike. Have you ever tried to open a plastic bottle of Dr. Pepper with your right arm in a monstrous metal and plastic cast fit for a Super Hero video? Well, try holding a plastic bottle between two replacement knees while you attempt to twist off the cap with your left hand. I tell you, it ain’t easy. I failed on the first six bottles. But on #7, I heard an exploding fizz, meaning Dr. Pepper would soon soothe my craving taste buds. But first, a sweet carbonated syrup shot out on both my legs and onto assorted undergarments not to be mentioned here. (Is this how crying 2-year-olds feel when their diapers hang heavy and low?) That led to a left-handed shower with my busted up right arm in a garbage bag. Not lady-like or sexy at all. That shower scene was more uncertain than Alfred Hitchcock’s famous shower in the Bates Motel. We won’t address what happens when I drop the soap.

As promised, this monthly article will attempt to cut through the technobabble to demonstrate the benefits of emerging technologies in health, wellness, and medicine. This month, let’s take a look at wearable bionics called exoskeletons. You may remember endoskeletons and exoskeletons from your biology courses. Endoskeletons (cartilage and bones) protect the inside of the body and connect to a blood supply, while exoskeletons (a snail shell, for example) protect the outside of the body and do not connect to a blood supply. The study of nature and biology has provided inventors with many inspirations for technology products in a process called biomimicry. Examples include: • Solar panels from the study of butterfly wings • Velcro from the study of burdock burrs (a tiny seed covered in hundreds of microscopic hooks) • Wind turbine blades suggested by the pectoral fins by Dr. Chuck Cadle of humpback whales • Shatter-proof automobile windshields from the study of spider webs, and • Wearable bionics (exoskeletons) from the study of invertebrates. Since the 1960s, when General Electric created Hardiman, the first prototype of a human exoskeleton designed to enable a person to lift 1,500 pounds, orthotic and prosthetic technology has advanced significantly. Today, we are approaching a cost-effective and efficient exoskeletal structure that will allow individuals with mobility impairments to return to everyday routines before their injuries. Exoskeletons (wearable bionics) enable patients who use wheelchairs to walk, run, and participate in other activities enjoyed before their mobility loss. As workers age, sales of exoskeletons for industry applications are forecast to rise from $67 million this year to $1.76 billion in 2028 — not including sales for medical applications. There appears to be a race to access the latest exoskeleton innovations. According to the January 2021 report, Exoskeleton Robots: Global Markets, more than a dozen companies are fo-

Please see EXASPERATING page 16

The Technobabble-Free Zone

Please see NEW FRONTIER page 10

Widespread industrial applications of exoskeleton technology like the one used at a Ford Mustang assembly plant (shown) will accelerate advancements for people with mobility impairments.

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DECEMBER 3, 2021

THE FIRST 40 YEARS ARE ALWAYS THE HARDEST

PARENTHOOD by David W. Proefrock, PhD

Your 5 year-old daughter was visiting her grandparents during the weekend. When she returned, she told you that her grandfather touched her in her “private place,” and she said that she never wants to go there again. What do you do? A. Don’t change a thing. Make her visit. Children make up stories like this or get their information confused all the time. A relationship with her grandparents is important. B. Call the local office of the Department of Family and Children Services and report the incident to them. C. Call her grandparents. Tell them what your daughter said and let them know that you will be contacting the authorities. D. Call her grandparents. Let them know what your daughter said and tell them that she will not be visiting alone anymore. If you answered: A. This is almost the worst thing you could do. Children do not often make up stories of abuse. She apparently has been taught (correctly) to tell you if this kind of thing happens to her, and it is up to you to protect her. B. You should definitely do this. However, this is family and it would probably be best to tell her grandparents that you are going to make a report. C. It’s going to be difficult to do, but this is the best response. She was brave enough to do what is right when she told you. You should be brave enough to do what is right in handling it. D. This response will protect your daughter, but it is not enough. First, other children may be at risk. Second, your daughter needs to know that you fully protected her, and other children too, when she told you what had happened. The most important thing here is believing and protecting your daughter. That is done by reporting the matter to authorities. They are the professionals who investigate allegations of abuse. You are not trained or objective enough to do it yourself. + Dr. Proefrock is a retired clinical and forensic child psychologist.

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PART L OF A 26-PART SERIES

IS FOR LYMPH NODES Usually there is no graphic or visual connection between the decorative letters we use to illustrate this series and the topics in each article. This time, though, the wispy lines of the L definitely suggest the fullbody characteristics of the lymphatic system. As important as it is, the lymphatic system is not exactly name brand, like the skeleton, the central nervous system, the cardiovascular system or the circulatory system. And yet without its quiet and unassuming work we would quickly die. Many people would be hard-pressed to describe exactly what its quiet and unassuming work is. Here’s

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AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER

DECEMBER 3, 2021 the answer. Simply put, the lymphatic system is an essential component of both the body’s immune and circulatory systems. As blood circulates through the body, it leaks into just about every tissue in the entire body. This is not a design flaw or something that needs to be repaired. Each and every cell needs nutrients and waste disposal, not just major organs. As fluids from the bloodstream leak out into surrounding tissues (called interstitial spaces), they bathe the tissues in nutrients and at the same time scoop up waste products, damaged cells and bacteria. Now what? The fluid is stuck in a no-man’s land outside of the circulatory system. How can it get back into veins and return to circulation? The fluid, as lymph (from a Latin root meaning “water”), drains into ever-present lymphatic capillaries and vessels, which then carry the fluid to, and through, numerous lymph nodes. The body’s hundreds of lymph nodes are clustered in areas near major trunk lines in the lymphatic system to promote efficient arrivals and departures. Lymph nodes act as filters for the arriving lymph, sifting out

and destroying bacteria and damaged cells. Their design and construction enhances their filtering ability: they have a greater capacity for arriving lymph than departing lymph, which acts to slow down the assembly line and enhance the nodes’ ability to their jobs. As the cleansed lymph exits into larger lymph vessels and even larger lymph ducts in its return to the circulatory system, the lymph nodes prevent bacteria and damaged cells from being circulated throughout the entire body. It’s a superb system, but at times it breaks down when large numbers of bacteria or virus particles overwhelm the nodes. A swollen and infected lymph nodes is called a bubo (BYOO-bo), and is the source of much pain. The main claim to historical fame for buboes is the plague named after them — the bubonic plague — that killed more than a quarter of Europe’s population in the late Middle Ages. Lymph nodes can also be secondary cancer sites (the dreaded, “It’s spread to the lymph nodes”), and in such cases the presence of swelling but the absence of pain is often the first and simplest diagnostic indicator of cancer. +

WHAT ARE “AGE SPOTS”?

Age spots, unfortunately, are not hip night clubs for older adults. They are irregular dark spots that appear on the skin. Sometimes they look like freckles — huge freckles. They can be just a little darker than the surrounding skin, or almost black. Some people call them liver spots, although the liver has nothing to do with liver spots. Age spots are harmless, but that doesn’t mean they can or should be ignored. Age spots can look a lot like skin cancer, and skin cancer can look a lot like age spots, so it’s important for a doctor (in the best-case scenario a dermatologist) to evaluate them and be certain. A blemish that is strictly an age spot is nothing more than a small area where the skin has produced excess melanin, the pigment that gives skin its color. The usual cause of age spots is prolonged sun exposure over time, especially among lighter-skinned people who get sunburns and/or are exposed to the sun too long and too often. “Age spots” suggests that only older people get them, and they are the age group most commonly decorated, but age spots are definitely not just for the elderly. Plenty of young sun worshippers and tanning bed users develop age spots. Really, sun spots might be a more accurate description of these blemishes. They’re usually found in places that get a lot of sun exposure, like hands, arms, shoulders and faces. Sometimes a facial age spot is not something its owner wants to see in the mirror every day, or present to the world. There are a number of options available to a dermatologist to remove or lighten troublesome age spots. They include a range of choices from topical creams to chemical peels, microdermabrasion, laser surgery, and freezing the spot. A better approach, as in most things medical, is prevention. Age spots can be avoided in the first place by a lifetime of judicious sunscreen use, avoiding the sun or wearing hats and long sleeves during the most intense periods of sun each day, and avoiding tanning beds. These habits can not only reduce the chances of age spots and skin cancer, but also result in fewer wrinkles and younger-looking skin. +

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AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER

#154 IN A SERIES

Who is this? ON THE ROAD TO BETTER HEALTH A PATIENT’S PERSPECTIVE

ur previous installment in this series featured a sixyear-old girl. If you’re thinking we’re on a youth kick, think again. The story about the most unlikely medical pioneer pictured above opens when he was 52 years old. But if we showed you his internationally recognizable face as it looked in adulthood, it would spoil the suspense. It should be noted that this man made his mark in medical history (a mark all but unknown on the pages of history) as a patient, not as a doctor, surgeon, or researcher. His life’s work had nothing to do with medicine, but it was legendary while it was happening, and remains so to this day. He was born in Baltimore in 1895, and died at just 53 years of age, but he accomplished much in his short life, including meeting future president George H. W. Bush and being posthumously awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2018. When he died in August of 1948, more than 75,000 filed past his open casket over a two day period, and an overflow crowd of the same number surrounded Manhattan’s St. Patrick’s Cathedral during his funeral. His death — or more precisely, what lead up to it, events that took place long after his working days were over — is what landed him in this column on this page of this newspaper. He first came to light as an unnamed but remarkable patient who was the subject of a presentation by Dr. Richard Lewisohn at the 4th International Cancer Congress in St. Louis in September 1947. One year before, the man above noticed that he was losing his voice. Then he started experiencing sharp pains behind his left eye. After a few false diagnoses and resulting unnecessary treatments (like having three teeth pulled), whatever was wrong started affecting the man’s ability to swallow and even speak at all. The man was literally wasting away during all of this, losing eighty pounds, going from a large and robust man to what some described as almost skeletal. Finally, X-rays revealed a large tumor at the base of his skull. Radiation was attempted, but was ineffective. It was at this point that he was referred to the aforementioned Dr. Lewisohn. Fortunately for our noted patient, he came along at the perfect moment in the development of chemotherapy. Chemotherapy wasn’t new in the fall of 1946, but the 100% fatal era of chemotherapy had been over for just a few weeks. Strangely, the discovery of chemotherapy arose from a mass poisoning in 1917: mustard gas used in war. Autopsies of fallen soldiers revealed that the gas depleted bone marrow, where red and white blood cells and platelets are manufactured. Eventually someone theorized harnessing that ability to eliminate leukemia, a cancer of the bone marrow. To make a decades-long story of development short, during the summer of 1946, eleven children with leukemia were given a brand new weapon in the fledgling science of chemotherapy. All eleven promptly died. Their deaths revealed a tragic error that was immediately corrected, and a few weeks later the very first person to receive chemotherapy that was actually safe and effective came along, the man above. His tumor shrank and he gained back those lost eighty pounds. In June of 1948, he attended the 25th anniversary celebration of the opening of Yankee Stadium. Chemo had given him an extra two years of life, just long enough for him to attend, about 3 weeks before his death, the July 26, 1948 world premiere of the movie about his life, The Babe Ruth Story. +

Editor’s note: Augusta writer Marcia Ribble, Ph.D., is a retired English and creative writing professor who offers her unique perspective as a patient. Contact her at marciaribble@hotmail.com by Marcia Ribble There is nothing quite like being in a place where events took place in the past to bring back the memories associated with that place. That happened to me this week and the memories were really good ones. I was riding in a Dial-A-Ride bus on the way home from a doctor’s appointment for a cardiac echocardiogram when we drove past Patterson Road. That name probably means nothing to you, but for me it’s a road so important that I’ve remembered its name since I was a preteen. My dad was a baker at Bartley’s Bakery, and that meant he went to work in the evening and returned home in the very early morning. On occasion, when the perch were running up the Saginaw River to spawn, he’d come into my bedroom and gently wake me up saying, “Marcia, be quiet, get up and get dressed, and let’s go fishing.” When I got down to the kitchen, he’d have already made me a hot ham sandwich on rye bread he’d baked that night. I’ll never forget how good they tasted! Then he’d fill his thermos with hot coffee, we’d grab our fishing poles, tackle box, and whatever clothes we’d need for the weather, and we’d pack the car and head down River Road along the Saginaw River until we got to Bay City, and then over to Patterson Road. We’d take Patterson until we reached a fairly rickety wharf, on the end of which was Whitey’s Bait and Tackle. The building was square, with three steps leading down into where they had the store. We’d go over to the tank of minnows and buy two dozen minnows and dump them into the bait bucket. It had a little mesh scoop to scoop out the minnows and bait our hooks. I can’t remember a time when I

didn’t know how to bait my own hook. My pole was a step up from a cane pole and had a reel loaded with braided line which dearly loved to entangle itself in a backlash when casting it. We used a standard panfish hook-up, with a sinker on the end, then two hooks about 18 inches apart. The river in spring had a pretty fast current, so our sinkers were fairly heavy so we could feel the tug of the fish biting. On good days we’d catch a pailful of perch, often two at a time. Well, more bucket than pail. A nice deep one from the bakery. As lunchtime approached, Dad would take me inside to Whitey’s lunch counter and buy us a couple of hamburgers and a Coke for each of us. That was a treat because we very rarely went out to eat, and even more rarely got to drink pop. We drank milk from the milkman, left in a box on the front porch, in glass bottles with a little cardboard stopper. On freezing days, the cream would freeze and push up the stopper which I thought was funny. It could do that because the cream and milk separated since it wasn’t pasteurized yet. Then it was back to fishing for another couple of hours. By 2 or 3 we packed up and headed for home. Dad would head to bed and I’d head into the back yard to gut and clean the fish. That night my mother would get out the big frying pan and dust the perch with flour, salt and pepper them, and fry up those delicious fresh fish. I eventually learned to fry them, but they were never as good as Mom’s. We ate them with the bones in, a piece of bread always ready in case a bone got stuck in our throats. She and Dad picked over the fish for the younger kids, but I did my own. Precious memories. +

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AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER

ADVENTURES IN

Middle Age

EVERYBODY LOVES A GOOD STORY

BY J.B. COLLUM

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In the previous issue, I shared that as I age more money than I used to, so I am just using I have come to appreciate the same things my that to make sure I can still enjoy the great father was so fond of, like the great outdoors outdoors while towing the great indoors along and quiet time with family. Okay, quiet time behind the truck, complete with a recliner, a with family might be a stretch. If my grandkids large television, a nice clean bathroom where or my extroverted and loquacious mother are I can shower, a large refrigerator, a fireplace, around, that’s just not happening. That said, my CPAP machine, and a comfortable bed. our recent trip to Mistletoe State Park con I know that some of you camping purists firmed how much I can enjoy stretches of time out there will not approve, and that’s okay communing with nature, family, and friends too. At my age, I am also blessed with not rewithout the modern distractions. Being the imally caring too much about what others think. patient person I am, once I decide something, I’m still working on that one though, and my I don’t like to wait around to implement it. I hope is that one day my level of care about wasn’t blessed with an abundance of patience, what others think will be like dust on the but I am working on it. Just ask scale. Until then, I’ll just try to my wife. On second thought, keep it at arm’s length by stayJust ask my wife. ing away from certain people. don’t ask her. That said, by the time you read this, we will have On second thought, Getting away from the anxieties taken delivery of a travel trailer. of life (all the things I need to do please don’t. Everything is set, we just have around the house, for instance) to show up for the paperwork is a big part of the appeal of on Monday and then haul the camping. This pandemic that’s behemoth away. stubbornly hanging on is another. Sure, we could have just bought a tent and I feel much safer with my own germs saved a lot of money, but I want to actually than those of the strangers at condos and enjoy my time off. I’ve camped in tents enough hotel rooms. We can prepare our own meals to know how hard it is to get up off the ground, and keep safe that way too. I would like to especially in the morning, and the aches and say that camping is cheaper, but I would be pains that stick with me throughout the day fooling myself. After paying for the camper, once I’ve spent a night close to the cold ground. the insurance, the truck to pull the camper, Then there are other aspects to camping the extra gas, all the accessories needed, the that are tedious, like setting up a camper on maintenance, and the increasingly high cost of a campsite, so I went ahead and got one with renting a spot, it really isn’t. It does amortize power stabilizer jacks so I wouldn’t throw the cost out though. A quick trip to the lake out my shoulder while cranking on a manual for a few days is quite inexpensive since you jack. The same goes for the tongue jack. I’ve are already paying for all of the other stuff never had a camper with a powered one, but anyway. It makes the possibility of spontathis time it was a must-have accessory for the neous trips more possible too. My relatively same reason as the other powered jacks. To new ability to be able to work from anywhere paraphrase Danny Glover’s character in the that I can find an internet connection also Lethal Weapon movie, I’m getting too old for means my trips are not limited to how much that stuff. I want to enjoy nature, and I expect vacation time I have. I can work from the that I will spend a lot of time outside when lake, the mountains, or the ocean, just as easwe go camping. But I want to do it under a ily as I can at home. Instead of waiting until large awning, on a clean rug, with a fridge we are retired to see the country, we are going right next to me, and a TV for the football to do it now. Once again, I think of this as a games I will inevitably watch on autumn gift from my father. Losing him has made me Saturday afternoons. I do want to commune think about my own mortality and the things I with nature, but that doesn’t mean I’m giving want to do while I still can, and it has remindup all my other interests. Even if I might give ed me of what brings true happiness. I think it up, my lovely wife is an even bigger fan of of camping as a form of therapy now. I can college football than me and wanted an outwalk in the woods and “talk to God and listen door TV, so we got one with that option. She to the casual reply,” like John Denver says in also wanted to be able to cook like she was his song, Rocky Mountain High. at home, so we made sure that she had a nice In the coming months, you should expect a kitchen inside and a decent one outside. That lot of thoughtful contemplation in my column suits me too, because I don’t want to miss her about life amidst the beauty of creation. I’m good cooking while camping. sure it will be filled with analogies drawn Then there are the multiple nightly trips to from my experiences there. Until then, I hope the bathroom that us middle-aged and older that you too can enjoy your adventure in folks are cursed with. Having the bathroom middle age no matter how far down that trail next to my bedroom instead of 100 yards away you are. + at a bathhouse (or the nearest tree in some cases) is a lot better on my sore feet. Not to J.B. Collum is a local novelist, humention the fact that if I have to put shoes morist and columnist who wants to on and go to a bathroom elsewhere, I will be be Mark Twain when he grows up. wide awake by the time I get back and never He may be reached at johnbcollum@ get back to sleep. My age also means I make gmail.com

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by Kim Beavers, MS, RDN, CDCES Registered Dietitian Nutritionist, Chef Coach, Author Follow Kim on Facebook: facebook.com/eatingwellwithkimb

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KALE SMOOTHIE Easy and delicious sure to be a family favorite! Ingredients • 2 cups of raw chopped kale • 1 cup higher protein milk (such as Fairlife or Carbmaster-plain) • ½ cup of frozen mango chunks • 1 medium banana cut into slices and frozen • 1 teaspoon fresh ginger minced

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Instructions Place all ingredients and place into a blender. Blend until smooth and enjoy. Yield: 2 servings Nutrient Breakdown: Calories 172, Fat 0g, Cholesterol, 80mg. Carbohydrate 27g, Fiber 4g, Sodium 70mg, Protein 9g, Potassium 780mg. Diabetes Exchanges: 1 vegetables, 1/2 milk, 1 fruit Kim’s Note: This smoothie is easily turned into smoothie packets for the freezer. Simply put the kale, mango, banana

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ASK DR. KARP

NO NONSENSE

NUTRITION Mary Ann, a Facebook friend from North Carolina, asks:

“Is it possible to enjoy all the special holiday foods without constantly worrying about how unhealthy and high in calories they are?” In a word…yes! Need some hints on how to do this? Here are a few. First of all, emphasize people, relationships and love during the holidays, not food. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t enjoy all that special food; it means making

food Priority #2, and making people Priority #1. And by people, I mean people you enjoy being around and the ones who make you smile. There is this false idea that during the holidays, you are obligated to be around friends and relatives who sap your energy or whom you dislike. Not true. I hereby give you permission not to invite those guests who make you feel stressed during the holidays, especially this year’s holidays. Do you really want to hear how vaccines have micro transmitters in them or how they mutate your DNA? Wouldn’t you rather hug your vaccinated friends and relatives, smile and say Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Peaceful Kwanza, Prosperous Diwali or whatever? Decreasing your stress and increasing your enjoyment of the holidays is a very healthy thing to do, both mentally and physically. So this year, finally make the change. Put your focus on savoring the wonderful people in your life. A second hint is to enjoy what you eat during the holidays and stop being such a food-phobic worrier. Enjoy all the holiday foods you look forward to, just take much smaller portions of the less healthy “treats,” and larger portions of foods that are healthier. For example, when you go to a holiday buffet at

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a friend’s home, don’t just go through the line and feel obligated to put everything on your plate. What Nancy and I do is to first look over the buffet and decide what we are going to eat more of, and what we are going to eat less of. It is actually a “feast for the eyes” to stop for a minute and get an overall perspective of exactly what is on the buffet table and how festive the table looks. By no means should you take a holiday from your exercise and physical activity routines during December. In fact, I would suggest that it is even more important to keep your routines going. The combination of eating a little more than usual and being a little less physically active is a recipe for problems. Don’t forget to weigh yourself, once a week, during the holidays, like you should be doing all year. If you have gained a pound or two, then next week, pull back on your eating. At the next party, dance more and eat less. When you prepare your own holiday meals, try to use substitutes in your menus which do not change the taste of your holiday foods, but make them a little bit healthier. For example, use egg substitutes instead of eggs, plain Greek yogurt instead of mayonnaise, low fat cream cheese instead of Download the free Barney’s app!

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whole cream cheese, etc. Put in “healthier recipe substitutions” in your web browser for lots more ideas. One example is the eggnog we make during the holidays. Eggnog can be a calorie, fat, and nutrition disaster. We try to make it a little bit healthier. We start with low fat eggnog (yes, we buy it from the supermarket, but don’t tell anybody) and pout it into a punch bowl. We gently stir in some fat-free Cool Whip, along with some brandy, and sprinkle the top with freshly grated nutmeg (there is a world of difference in flavor when using freshly-grated nutmeg. Try it!) People rave about our eggnog. One thing I will warn you about: too many substitutions will change the flavor and/or texture of your food, so don’t go overboard. For example, one year we decided to make grandma’s butter cookies with margarine instead. Well, in that recipe, Grandma’s cookies just didn’t taste the same and they did not have the right texture. So what do we do every year? We make a very small batch of Grandma’s butter cookies, following her recipe exactly. We eat a few, think of Grandma and smile, enjoy the cookies and that is that. There are many more hol-

iday suggestions for making the holidays tasty, happy and healthier. Here are a few quick ones. Don’t give a lot of food gifts when going to someone’s home during the holidays. Perhaps flowers or coffees and teas would be a better choice. And, don’t give a “Fruit-of-the-Month” gift. Do your friends really want two dozen grapefruits showing up on their door on January 1st? Unless you know for sure, something else might be more appreciated. And what about that high calorie holiday fruitcake? Eat a very small slice and use the rest as a door stop. Don’t overindulge in alcohol and then end up sitting on the couch with all your inhibitions in abeyance, eating a whole plate of Christmas cookies and crying while you watch “It’s A Wonderful Life.” What’s the “No-Nonsense Nutrition” advice for this holiday season? Stop being such a holiday food grinch. Enjoy yourself, just don’t go crazy. This year, unlike last year, you can safely be around vaccinated friends and relatives, so stress the warmth, love, and relationships of your friends and relatives. Nancy and I wish you a very Happy and Healthy Holiday Season. +

Have a question about food, diet or nutrition? Post or private message your question on Facebook (www.Facebook.com/ AskDrKarp) or email your question to askdrkarp@gmail. com If your question is chosen for a column, your name will be changed to ensure your privacy. Warren B. Karp, Ph.D., D.M.D., is Professor Emeritus at Augusta University. He has served as Director of the Nutrition Consult Service at the Dental College of Georgia and is past Vice Chair of the Dr. Karp Columbia County Board of Health. You can find out more about Dr. Karp and the download site for the public domain eBook, Nutrition for Smarties, at www.wbkarp.com Dr. Karp obtains no funding for writing his columns, articles, or books, and has no financial or other interests in any food, book, nutrition product or company. His interest is only in providing freely available, evidenced-based, scientific nutrition knowledge and education. The information is for educational use only; it is not meant to be used to diagnose, manage or treat any patient or client. Although Dr. Karp is a Professor Emeritus at Augusta University, the views and opinions expressed here are his and his alone and do not reflect the views and opinions of Augusta University or anyone else.

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DECEMBER 3, 2021

Ask a Dietitian

AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER

ARKS

HARMACY

YOUR NEW FAVORITE SWEETENER?

Got the common cold?

by Emily Johnson, RD, LDN Assistant Professor, Dept. of Interdisciplinary Health Sciences College of Allied Health Sciences, Augusta University The holiday season is officially in full swing and with Christmas and New Year’s Day right around the corner, we have many gatherings to look forward to. This time of the year can be a wonderful time to gather with friends, family, and co-workers to celebrate and be merry. It is tradition in many households to gather around a feast of indulgent food. However, we often find ourselves eating far too many sweet treats, resulting in excess calorie consumption. There are many strategies we can employ to stay in control, such as eating beforehand, avoiding grazing, limiting our intake to 1 or 2 sweet treats at every gathering, etc. All these strategies can be very helpful. But if you are like me and you really enjoy the sweet indulgences of the season, I want to offer up an alternative sweetener to use that can sweeten your favorite treats without adding too many extra calories. Most of us are familiar with low-calorie

9 +

and zero calorie sweeteners on the market. Some are artificial sweeteners while others are natural. If you are looking to experiment this holiday season by sweetening your baked treats with an alternative, natural sweetener, consider using monk fruit. Monk fruit offers the sweetness of sugar without providing additional calories or carbohydrate and can be a great alternative in your recipes this Holiday season. Native to southern China and Northern Thailand, monk fruit is a small, round, green fruit that is a member of the Cucurbitaceae family. The native name for Monk fruit is Luo Han Guo. Monk fruit is considered a natural sweetener with its sweetener coming from fruit. It is manufactured by crushing the fruit, extracting the juice, and then extracting its mogroside from the juice. Monk fruit can offer the sweetness of sugar and is a natural, plant-based alternative to

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More Americans have died on US roads since 2000 than in World Wars I & II combined

lease take a moment to read the sentence above. There is no number shown, but more deaths than two world wars — and just since 2000 — is an appalling loss of life. Here is a fact that is even more appalling: according to the American Automobile Association (AAA), more than half of all fatal accidents (in a study covering the years 2003 to 2007) involved at least one driver who performed a potentially aggressive action. That represents a tremendous number of lives lost unnecessarily. What is aggressive driving? As defined by AAA and other highway safety organizations, examples of aggressive driving behaviors include things that many of us may be guilty of: • Speeding • Tailgating • Cutting in front of another driver and then “brake-checking” them • Running red lights • Weaving in and out of traffic • Changing lanes without signaling • Blocking cars attempting to pass or change lanes • Using headlights or brakes to “punish” other drivers Who does it? Hundreds of millions of American drivers are guilty of one or more infractions that are defined as aggressive driving. Here are a few triple-A stats: • Deliberately and purposefully tailgating: 51% (104 million drivers) • Yelling at another driver: 47% (95 million drivers) • Honking to show annoyance or anger: 45% (91 million drivers) • Making angry gestures: 33% (67 million drivers)

• Trying to block another vehicle from changing lanes: 24% (49 million drivers) • Cutting off another vehicle on purpose: 12% (24 million drivers) • Getting out of the vehicle to confront another driver: 4% (8 million drivers) • Bumping or ramming another vehicle on purpose: 3% (6 million drivers) Did you read one or more of those numbers and think, that figure is definitely too low? There is no doubt that these numbers, whether they’re accurate or on the low side, represent a huge problem and a great risk to safety. It’s no great stretch to imagine that aggressive driving leads to traffic accidents. Even a minor traffic accident is inconvenient and expensive. But they can be life-changing too. Even life-ending. Aggressive driving also can easily lead to road rage, situations where a trivial, forgettable and forgivable infraction (like having someone honk at you) escalates to deadly reactions like trying to ram another car or its driver, forcing the other car off the road, or one or both drivers resorting to gunfire to solve their petty little skirmish. Keep in mind that even the most aggressive driving infractions are usually completely inconsequential. Granted, that isn’t true if they cause a collision. But someone who fails to use their blinker or gives you an angry yell or an obscene gesture in the grand scheme of things means absolutely nothing. Forget it. AAA makes these three suggestions: • Don’t Offend: Never cause another driver to be forced to suddenly change their speed or direction in response to something you have done. • Be Tolerant and Forgiving: The other driver may just be having a really bad day. Assume that it’s not personal. • Do Not Respond: Avoid eye contact, don’t make gestures, maintain space around your vehicle, and contact 9-1-1 if needed. +

DECEMBER 3, 2021

NEW FRONTIER… from page 1

cused on exoskeleton development. One of these companies, Ottobock, announced in the past month the acquisition of suitX, a US-based company born from the Robotics and Human Engineering Lab at the University of California, Berkeley, which specializes in the research and development of occupational and medical exoskeletons. Ottobock and suitX are combining their expertise and products to take the exoskeleton market to a new level and foster the worldwide adoption of exoskeletons. Another company, EKSO Bionics, has created a robotic exoskeleton specifically designed to be used in rehabilitation settings to help neuro-rehab patients. As the first exoskeleton to be FDA-cleared for acquired brain injury, stroke, and spinal cord injury, EksoNR offers the industry’s most natural gait, re-teaching the brain and muscles to walk again properly. However, the EksoNR suit requires hands and arms. In contrast, REX Bionics has developed an exoskeletal structure offering a hands-free version enabling the wearer to move forward, backward, sideways, and turn. Exoskeletons equipped with sensors and artificial intelligence will usher in a new frontier for treating individuals with mobility impairments. As these wearable bionics become more affordable and effective for mobility-impaired patients, their return to pre-injury functionality grows ever closer. +

MONK FRUIT… from page 9

table sugar. It is heat-stable and is safe to use in baked goods. Monk fruit sweeteners are ultra-sweet, so only half as much monk fruit would be needed compared to sugar. And remember to always read the package instructions before substituting for further guidance. Monk fruit has received GRAS designation (Generally Recognized as Safe) from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, and some evidence suggests it offers health benefits including antioxidants. However, because it is newer to the market, the effects of long-term use have not been extensively studied. Monk fruit can be purchased as liquid, granulated, and even powdered form and can be added to coffee, tea, oatmeal, yogurt, and salad dressings. Because monk fruit is a member of the gourd family, if you are allergic to or intolerant of gourds, including pumpkin, squash, cucumbers, melons and more, you should avoid using monk fruit sweeteners. If you want to enjoy something sweet this holiday season without all the added sugar, consider using monk fruit in your dessert recipes. You just might enjoy it enough to continue using it year-round! Let’s celebrate this season by choosing foods that nourish our bodies and enjoy indulgences in moderation. Have a safe and healthy holiday! +

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the blog spot — posted by Andy Lamb, MD, on September, 2020 (edited for space)

PAUSE TO REFLECT UPON ALL WE HAVE “The only end to pain is the graveyard.” Those words are etched forever in my mind. They underscore the hopelessness of so many throughout the world. She was 90 years old, crippled by arthritis, no family, and lived alone in a dirt floor hovel with no electricity or running water. She lived in a tiny village of 2000 people in the poorest country in Europe, Moldova. She lived every day without any hope that her life would get better. Her entire life has been one of daily hardships and struggles to survive. She only knew pain, physical and emotional. She had no hope, no joy. I was leading a short term medical team to Moldova as part of a faith-based organization that sends teams to the poorest and neediest countries in the world. Moldova is in Eastern Europe and was once part of the Soviet Union. It is for historical reasons viewed by surrounding countries as “the ugly stepchild” of what is now Russia. Multiple factors through the years have contributed to this – oppression under communism, the “Great War” (known to us as World War II), corruption, the purges under Stalin and other Soviet leaders, and finally, the collapse of the Soviet Union resulting in Moldova’s economic and socio-political collapse. Moldova has not recovered, and life there remains hard. Each day of clinic, I would send a small team to make home visits. On this one particular day I went with the team. Home visits in developing countries can be both powerfully moving and emotionally heartbreaking. As you go into the homes of the poorest of the poor, you never know what you will see, hear, or experience. More often than not, you leave that home changed by what you just experienced. Such was the case with this woman. She was thin and frail. Arthritis had crippled her body. She walked slowly, bent over, cane in hand. I sat with her on the concrete steps leading into what was her home. Through my interpreter, we spoke of her health issues, trying to determine what if anything could be done for her. Her only complaint was the arthritis pain that she lived with constantly. As I was sitting with her, I noticed she was staring into the distance at a cemetery. Then she said those words, “The only end to pain is the graveyard.” As someone who had lived nearly her entire life under communism, she had no belief in God or anything more after death. All she knew was the ever-present physical pain from her arthritis and emotional pain from loneliness. Her only hope of ending this pain was death, the graveyard. I remember vividly thinking how terrible it must be to live a life without hope, any hope. That was the only life she knew. May we take the time to pause during the busyness of our days to reflect upon all we have. Compared to the majority of the world, we truly are fortunate. We do have hope. Most of all, in healthcare we are privileged to be in a profession that can bring hope to others, physically, emotionally, and even spiritually. Thank you for being “hope-givers” to those in need. In doing so, you are making a difference one life at a time. +

Her entire life had been a struggle to survive.

Andy Lamb is an internal medicine physician.

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AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER

From the Bookshelf Given the chance by a doctor to make three trivial wishes — because we already had perfect health and mountains of wealth and therefore no need for granting a serious wish — maybe a few of us would want the doctor to simply tell us their stories. What is it really like to be a doctor? What’s the grossest thing you’ve ever seen? Is it hard to make life-and-death decisions all the time? Who are the patients that you’ll never forget? What’s the gnarliest injury you’ve ever treated? What is the weirdest way somebody ever got hurt? Now, before you say that wish would never make your list, let’s recall how popular Chicago Med, Grey’s Anatomy, Code Black, ER, Scrubs, The Resident, Nurse Jackie, Nip/Tuck, Doogie Howser, M.D., St. Elswhere, Chicago Hope, M*A*S*H, Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, Trapper John, M.D., Marcus Welby, M.D., Ben Casey, House, M.D., Dr. Kildare, Private Practice and General Hospital all are or have been. Clearly, we collectively have a pretty strong

obsession with the medical profession. Well, this book is one more way to satisfy your addiction and give yourself a fix. In all likelihood the only doctors who have never been terrified or who have made a tragic mistake that cost (or almost cost) a patient’s life are the ones who are lying about it. Fortunately for us, Dr. Holt, our storyteller for this issue, is not a liar. In fact, this book starts out with a tale from Dr. Holt’s very first night on call as an intern that’s so harrowing that you’ll be forgiven for thinking, “This guy made it through med school? How?”

Or maybe you’ll think of the old joke: what do they call the person who graduates last in their class at med school? Answer: doctor. But everyone has to start somewhere, and that place is usually at the bottom. There’s no place to go but up. Sometimes patients ponder all the uncertainties of the near future as they face some medical crossroad or another. It may not be comforting to know, but sometimes doctors — even the very ones about to treat us — are facing uncertainties of their own about our diagnosis and best regimen of care. In the end, anything that pulls back the curtain and replaces some of the mystique of medicine with kernels of unvarnished truth is a good thing, and this book certainly does that. Know someone who’s contemplating a career in medicine? This would be an eye-opening read for them. + Internal Medicine: A Doctor’s Stories, by Terrence Holt, 288 pages, published in October 2015 by Liveright Books

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The Examiners +

by Dan Pearson

I ordered a thesaurus, and when it came I opened it up What happened? and every page was blank.

I hate online shopping, Why the long face? that’s why.

I have no words to describe my frustration.

Seriously?

PUZZLE

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2 0 2 Simply unscramble the letters, N then begin exploring I G our ads. When you Nfind the correctly spelled word I N R hidden in one U of our ads — enter at AugustaRx.com T E RWe’ll announce the winner in our next issue!

Click on “MYSTERY WORD” • DEADLINE TO ENTER: NOON, AUG. 30, 2021

E X A M I N E R

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DIRECTIONS: Every line, vertical and horizontal, and all nine 9-square boxes must each contain the numbers 1 though 9. Solution on page 14.

25. Pre Easter season 26. Relaxes 27. Degree ceremony 28. Introduction to Abdul 29. Local county named for a British member of parliament 31. Damp 33. Alcoholic beverage 35. Metal fastener 36. Of the chest 40. ____ lobe 42. Shoulder bones, familiarly 43. Cotton seed pod 44. Salt of oleic acid 46. Luxuriant 47. Gemstone 48. Story 49. Give off 50. Polynesian carved image 51. Roman poet 52. Hawaiian goose 55. N. American abbreviation Solution p. 14

QUOTATIONPUZZLE W C N G T P E S A T V C O H S I H I T O A H T E E S V A H D C E E T

E I E O R N I C S T S

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— Author unknown

DIRECTIONS: Recreate a timeless nugget of wisdom by using the letters in each vertical column to fill the boxes above them. Once any letter is used, cross it out in the lower half of the puzzle. Letters may be used only once. Black squares indicate spaces between words, and words may extend onto a second line. Solution on page 14.

Use the letters provided at bottom to create words to solve the puzzle above. All the listed letters following #1 are the first letters of the various words; the letters following #2 are the second letters of each word, and so on. Try solving words with letter clues or numbers with minimal choices listed. A sample is shown. Solution on page 14.

’

1 2 3 I 1

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1 2 3 4

R 1 2

1 2 3

L 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

1 2 3

A 1 2

1 2 3

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M 1 2 3 4

— Charles Schulz

1.AAAPODDDITION 2.NARTHIVEEN 3.VILWEEEMY 4.ALEEY 5.LDO 6.OS 7.OP 8.EP

SAMPLE:

1. ILB 2. SLO 3. VI 4. NE 5. D =

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ACROSS 23 1. Benign tumor of muscle tissue 25 26 27 28 6. Like some jokes 30 31 10. Increases 14. Examine accounts 34 35 36 15. Sewing case 38 39 16. Chapter of the Koran 41 42 17. Very noticeable; conspicuous 45 19. The ____ (former Augusta 47 48 49 restaurant) 53 54 55 20. Sheriff before Roundtree 21. One of these can be held 56 57 onto for years 59 60 23. Stir up 24. Hold responsible by Daniel R. Pearson © 2020 All rights reserved. 25. Bequest 28. Adage 59. Optical device 30. Tiger’s dad 60. _____ lab 31. Pale purple 61. Leave out when speaking, 32. It comes before bub as a syllable sometimes 34. Ft. Gordon occupant DOWN 35. Become sturdier 1. Two-dimensional land 37. Before in poetry diagrams 38. Williams of Cooperstown 2. Mongol tent 39. World’s skinniest nation? 3. Scent 40. Counterfeit 4. Type of oil or water 41. Latin term for “in secret” 5. Not accented 43.The Savannah River is one 6. Monetary unit of Lesotho 45. Wide awake 7. Scratch cause 46. Game played in Aiken 8. Type of stick 47. Canadian capital 9. Idiom for careful, delicate 49. New town (in SC) treatment 53. Like some vacations 10. Suppose 54. Growing by successive 11. Dunce additions 12. Medicine 56. Lotion or soap ingredient 13. ______ Valley (in SC) 57. Ancient Greek goddess 18. Repulsive 58. The official national 22. Lustrous black animal of Bhutan 24. Squad in Princess Bride

WORDS NUMBER

THE MYSTERY 2WORD ! The Mystery Word for this issue: BLOMMSAITE

EXAMINER CROSSWORD

DECEMBER 3, 2021

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DECEMBER 3, 2021

AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER

THEBESTMEDICINE ha... ha...

woman told her husband that if she was ever diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease she would commit suicide rather than burden him with her care. “That’s like the fourth time you’ve said that in the last two minutes,” her husband replied. Two guys in a pub gestured for the bartender to come over. “Can you settle an argument for us?” one of the guys asked. “Maybe,” said the bartender. “I own this place, but I don’t know everything. What’s the question?” “How many pints are in a quart? Is it two or four?” “That’s easy. There are two pints in a quart,” said the bartender. “Thanks for settling that,” said one of the men, and they both sidled away from the bar to a nearby table. A little while later a barmaid stopped by their table. “Need fresh drinks? she asked. “Yes,” answered one of the guys. “Two pints please, and they’re on the house.” “Is that so?” she asked doubtfully, knowing

The

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Advice Doctor

her boss’ reputation as a tightwad. “Absolutely,” said one of the guys. In fact, he called out to the owner at the end of the bar, “You said two pints, right?” “That’s right.” he called back. “Two pints.”

Moe: My doctor told me I need to cut down on sodium. Joe: Are you going to do it? Moe: I’m taking his advice with a grain of salt. A guy at a shop answered the phone and heard the caller say, “Hello. My name is Bob, and I’m an alcoholic.” “Sir, this is Triple-A, not Alcoholics Anonymous,” the man replied. “I know that,” the caller said. “I’m just trying to explain why my car is in a lake.” An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the jungle when they came upon a ricketylooking bridge across a crocodile-infested river. The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer “What are the odds of us making it across that bridge safely?” The engineer took out his calculator, did a quick structural analysis and said “I figure there is a 99.97% chance we can make it across that bridge safely.” “Forget that,” the anti-vaxxer said without hesitation. “I’m swimming!” Moe: Why don’t anti-vaxxers lock their cars? Joe: Because they know someone whose locked car was stolen anyway? Label on a box of animal crackers: “Do not eat if seal is broken.” +

Why subscribe to theMEDICALEXAMINER? What do you mean?

Staring at my phone all day has had no Effect on ME!

Because try as they might, no one can stare at their phone all day.

Dear Advice Doctor, Forgive my Scroogeness, but I’m writing for advice on how to endure this time of year. I hate it! Why? How much time do you have? Since this publication is only 16 pages, l’ll pick one of my many issues: weight gain! I struggle with my weight all year long, but during the holidays it’s more like a war — one that I always lose. I could eat like a bird and still gain 20 pounds during December. What am I doing wrong? — Know Gain, Know Pain Dear Know Gain, I chose your letter from the gigantic mailbag of questions we receive every day because I think many of us can relate to your plight. Recent statistics suggest that almost 75% of American adults are either overweight or obese, so plenty of us are in the same situation you are. In fact, in Georgia and South Carolina the overweight numbers among adults are 63.3% and 65.1% respectively. Measuring obesity alone, South Carolina ranks 10th nationally, Georgia 24th. It’s easy to trivialize the solution: just eat less! In most cases it isn’t quite that simple. A person’s overall health and mobility are factors, and closely related to those two are the medications they’re taking and the amount and regularity of their exercise. Even things we can’t control like genetics can be significant contributors. Every situation combines these and a number of other factors before arriving at each person’s bathroom scale In your case, however, I’m going to zero in on something that looks to be the main source of your problem. You confess that you eat like a bird. There is your problem, my friend! Birds eat. A lot. The smaller the bird, the more they generally eat. For example, little wrens, chickadees and sparrows eat about 35% their own weight every day. For a 150-pound person, that’s more than 52 pounds of food every day. Hummingbirds’ daily diet equals 100% of their weight! Obviously eating like a bird is the central issue here, at least in your case. I advise strict portion control at mealtimes and no snacking between meals. I wish you well. I hope this answers your question. Thanks for writing! + Do you have a question for The Advice Doctor about health, life, love, personal relationships, career, raising children, or any other important topic? Send it to News@AugustaRx.com. Replies will be provided only in the Examiner.

SUBSCRIBE TO THE MEDICALEXAMINER +

Why read the Medical Examiner: Reason #697

By popular demand we’re making at-cost subscriptions available for the convenience of our readers. If you live beyond the Aiken-Augusta area, or miss issues between doctor’s appointments — don’t you hate it when that happens? — we’ll command your mail carrier to bring every issue to your house! NAME ADDRESS CITY STATE ZIP Choose six months for $20 ____ or one year for $36 ____. Mail this completed form with payment to Augusta Medical Examiner, PO Box 397, Augusta GA 30903-0397

BEFORE READING

AFTER READING

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8 2 1

THE MYSTERY SOLVED 2! The Mystery Word in our last issue was: METABOLISM

2 0 2 Nhair in the p. 15 ad for ...cleverly hidden in the woman’s I G READ US ON YOURIN SMARTPHONE OR TABLET N UR T E R

THE WINNER: TIMOTHY WILLIFORD! Want to find your name here next time? If it is, we’ll send you some cool swag from our goodie bag. The new Mystery Word is on page 12. Start looking!

THE PUZZLE SOLVED M A P S L E N T O P A L

Y U R T

O D O R

M I N E R E G A A R L S A E D S U B A L T T A A I D L O E E N S

A T O N I C S C R E W

S E U N G T L E Y M T O H I O S R T A C U I S C A

I C K T U I C E D H G R B L A P R O V A U V E U T E N L E A B O P O L E L L E M U L A I S T T H E

A S S U M E

D U N D E R H E F A R D O N T T I A K L I

D R U G

S A G E

B U R K E

B E E R

O V I D

N E N E

SEE PAGE 12

The Celebrated TheSUDOKUsolution MYSTERY WORD CONTEST 8 9 7 3 5 2 6 1 4

...wherein we hide (with fiendish cleverness) a simple word. All you have to do is unscramble the word (found on page 12), then find it concealed within one of our ads. Click in to the contest link at www.AugustaRx.com and enter. If we pick you in our random drawing of correct entries, you’ll score our goodie package! SEVEN SIMPLE RULES: 1. Unscramble and find the designated word hidden within one of the ads in this issue. 2. Visit the Reader Contests page at www.AugustaRx.com. 3. Tell us what you found and where you found it. 4. If you’re right and you’re the one we pick at random, you win. (Winners within the past six months are ineligible.) 5. Prizes awarded to winners may vary from issue to issue. Limited sizes are available for shirt prize. 6. A photo ID may be required to claim some prizes. 7. Other entrants may win a lesser prize at the sole discretion of the publisher. 8. Deadline to enter is shown on page 12.

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Love to stare at your phone? Visit issuu.com/ medicalexaminer and stare away.

DECEMBER 3, 2021

AUGUSTAMEDICALEXAMiNER

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QuotatioN QUOTATION PUZZLE SOLUTION The path to success is acting on the advice we give others.

— Author unknown

WORDS BY NUMBER I’ve developed a new philosophy. I only dread one day at a time. — Charles Schulz

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Next came the potato chip bag miscalculation. I held the bag in one hand and yanked the other end with my teeth. The bag ripped. Potato chips flew straight up to the ceiling, then settled onto the floor in an artistic pattern that would confuse Picasso. I invoked the 5-second rule, dragged over a chair, sat down, and began eating gritty potato chips from the floor and drinking room temperature Diet Dr. Pepper. Heaven on Earth for sure. It must have been alright. I lived right through it all. When I next saw my Orthopod in his office, he raved about how much progress I had made in only one week at home. His nurse nodded and smiled approvingly. (It’s probably in her job description, People bring me bless her little heart.). That was just before he said that food. Piles of it. instead of wearing my cast Most of it is even for just two more weeks (as recognizable I had expected), I would be orthopedically incarcerated for another 4-6 weeks. Thrilled I was not. Being beat about the head and neck with a piece of rotten liver seemed more inviting. On the way home, I did the only reasonable thing: I froze my sorrows in a DQ Butterfinger Blizzard. It takes a lot of calories to maintain a chubby body with cottage cheese legs and a mess of strategically camouflaged surgical scares. But none of that will chill my thrill. Just because I am a septuagenarian and always lie about my age in public doesn’t mean I can’t heal, that I can’t survive, that I can’t thrive. Methuselah I ain’t, but I am gaining on his 989 years. And I have the determination of Moses, even if I never wandered lost in the desert for 40 years. When I have a directional misadventure to somewhere I have been before, with great confidence I chalk it up to “taking the scenic tour” to whomever is riding shotgun. That is a lot better than admitting I get lost easily these days. I call it “Old Timer’s Disease.” Sounds a lot better than early Alzheimer’s, don’t you think? Meals at home are another problem. Everybody knows a one-armed cook is highly limited. People bring me food. Piles of it. Most of it recognizable, some of it even good. But am I being a bit negative about food hauled in the trunk of strange cars? (Who knows what they hauled in there last week. Worn out clothes headed to Goodwill? Muddy sneakers from their Little Leaguer?) Is my taste uncertainty due to my medications? Or my pain? I blame it on both. Soon I’ll be better and my food taste will recover, and right on cue that is about the time they will stop bringing food. There is only one reasonable solution: Delay complete recovery as long as possible to provide these food-bearing Christian saints their well-deserved pleasures. Bless their little hearts. Who am I to deprive the food bearers of their pleasure bringing life-saving food to a decrepit old lady? That would not be the Christian thing to do. Now you see: getting well too fast has its faults. Don’t overdo that quick recovery bit. You might unintentionally harm others in their religious pursuit. On the other hand, maybe my friends bring me food because they love me more than I deserve. Most likely, that is the real reason.

The

Advice Doctor Will he ever get one right? Probably not. +

Questions. And answers. On page 13.

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