Vol 35 issue 25

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Volume 35, Issue 25

Monday, March 30, 2009

www.mediumonline.ca

You’ve already paid for this paper

Management abandons UCS A month after the Biz Frosh debacle, the Department of Management leaves UCS under the purview of UTMSU ALI KASIM AND ANDREW HAMILTON SMITH

In an unprecedented and unexpected move, the Department of Management has decided that beginning next year it will no longer support the Undergraduate Commerce Society (UCS).

Currently, UCS shares a special relationship with the department, unlike all other academic societies on campus, which are overseen and funded entirely by the University of Toronto Mississauga Students Union (UTMSU). In his official announcement last Friday, Chair of the Department of Management Hugh Gunz said, “Management can no longer condone or support the irresponsible practises fostered by such a corrupt club culture,” referring undoubtedly to the recent Biz Frosh episode between UCS, UTMSU, and the University administration regarding UCS’s lewd and offensive cheers during their orientation event. “As such, we are cutting our ties to UCS as an organization,” added Gunz.

Gunz also stressed that the move will not affect commerce students enrolled at UTM in any way, since they are still free to join the UCS on their own volition without any form of

reprisal from the responsible,” said department.

Gunz. “Our departHowever, many ment and the of the events University are and incentives fully committed to advocated and equity and fightinitiated by ing discrimination UCS over the of all forms.” years, such as The UCS execthe annual Show utive was apparMe the Green ently caught offcompetition and guard by the various recruitchange in policy. ing and net“I’ve no idea what working workGunz is thinking,” shops are now said visibly upset under the stark UCS President possibility of Jyotin Handa. ceasing to exist “I’m still wonderaltogether – all ing if all this is a down and joke, because I dependant on don’t even think the projected he’s allowed to do “limited” fundthis,” added ing the society Handa. will receive On Sunday from here on.

March 29, a numDuring past ber of commerce Photo/Matthew Filipowich years, the UTMSU has recently boarded up the UCS office and announced plans to students began to Department of use the site as a prayer space for Shiite Muslims. Construction is pro gather outside the M a n a g e m e n t posed to take place after the Child Care Centre is completed.

UCS office, in the has funded a hopes of seeing large portion of UCS’s hefty $45,000 mitted to the highest ethical and moral some sort of notice or word confirmstandards possible. “In an era of grow- ing all the rumours. “They won’t budget.

The move is being cited as a sym- ing cynicism about business practises, answer my E-mails, text messages, bolic one, to show that the it is of the utmost importance to give nothing,” complained second-year Department of Management is com- the impression of being socially commerce student Opiate Chang,

referring to the UCS executives who have not been available for comment or communication the last few days.

“It’s bad business practise not to reply within 24 hours,” she noted, as others around her nodded.

When asked to comment on this development, UTMSU VP Equity Saaliha Malik expressed delight.

“UCS has been very slow to adopt changes to their constitution in the way of promoting equity and eliminating discrimination.” Although she looks forward to forcing UCS to implement those changes, Malik also said that the Student Union will not exercise undue influence over the UCS executive or their activities. “We don’t care what they do as long as they promote equity,” she added.

UTMSU President-elect Joey Santiago could not be reached for comment, but the UTM Movement Facebook group had several messages related to the UCS issue. “How can the Student Union stand by and let the University attack our clubs like this?” was one such posting, all of which were clearly opposed to UCS falling under the union’s control.

It is expected that the UCS executive will appeal the decision made by the Dept. of Management to cut them off from affiliation and funding, although it is not yet certain whether or not the Erindale Governing Council will deign to hear their case.

Marijuana found near five-min walk ANDREW HAMILTON SMITH NEWS EDITOR

Peel Regional police were on campus this past weekend following up on a tip from students, who inadvertently stumbled onto a patch of marijuana in the woods. Although the police will not reveal the exact location where the contraband plants were growing, Constable Avery Scipowicz did say that there were several plants discovered, all of them in a premature state of development, and that three suspects are currently under investigation for possible involvement.

Officials with UTM expressed shock at the possibility of a “growop” conducted on campus grounds, and have offered to cooperate with Police in any way necessary. “Any

student at UTM involved with this wholly inappropriate and totally illegal operation will be expelled and punished to the fullest extent of the law,” commented Dean of Student Affairs Mark Overton. “University is not the place for students to get high or grow dope.”

These sentiments were echoed by the outgoing UTM Student Union, which released a statement on Sunday stating that “hopefully this incident will not reflect on the vast majority of students at UTM who do not use marihuana or illegal drugs, who follow the rules and do what they are told…UTMSU does not condone the use of marijuana, nor are we aware of any students who have used it.”

According to VP external Dhananjai Kohli, it is highly unlikely that any student involved with pot would be

Photo source/Wikipedia.org

Who knew there was a field of chronic sticky icky on campus? able to participate in classes or pass exams. As such, he suggested that the marijuana found in the woods may not have been planted by UTM students, but rather by organized criminals who

could have accessed the campus late at night.

However, it is worth noting that a number of charges by Campus Police have been laid under the Controlled Substances Act against UTM students in the past year, and reports of “marijuana smell” are investigated on an almost weekly basis.

The marijuana discovery this weekend came as no surprise to shift supervisor Charles Helewa, who received the initial report from the students who found it. “You would be surprised how many people smoke weed,” he explained, noting that “students living on residence face tremendous challenges when trying to find entertainment on campus, so it should come as no surprise that some might pass the time by sitting around getting baked.”

When asked to comment on this incident, third-year horticulture student Amos Alyer pointed out that the soil pH on campus is not favourable to most strains of marijuana, so it is likely that the plants – once fully developed – would lack potency. ”No one would want to buy or smoke [it],” commented Alyer. “Whoever planted that there was a damn fool.”

Second-year psychology student Alyssa Monroe agreed that the behavior is certainly foolish: “How did they expect not to get caught with so many people around all the time?”

The perpetrators were probably just trying to create a stir on campus, throwing down seeds in a random spot and hoping that someone would find it before the end of the year. If that was their objective, well, mission accomplished.

2 THE MEDIUM

NEWS

MONDAY, MARCH

30, 2009

EARTH HOUR A SPECTACULAR FAILURE

Earth Hour harms the economy

Earth Hour burns Rez building

PERCIVAL MANNERS

As the environmentalists proclaimed, “let there be darkness,” for a good hour in Mississauga last Saturday evening, darkness did indeed cover the landscape. For the University of Toronto Mississauga, there wasn’t just darkness, but also flames and smoke.

Earth Hour celebrations ended on a sour note for residents of Schreiberwood and McGrath valley when they discovered a fire had destroyed their resident homes.

According to Constable Joe Peter of UTM Homeland Security, “two separate fires occurred within the vicinity of the UTM Residence area, where both incidents were sparked from a lit candle. In one scenario, the candle was left unattended in a bedroom near an Xbox console, while the other incident occurred after a candle, used in a sexual act, accidentally lit up a curtain.

Police and firefighters were alerted to the blaze after finishing a game of a beer pong at Roy Ivor Hall.

Residence Council Kristian Jurlewicz commented that it wasn’t surprising either incident happened: “Residence students are pretty stupid. Just look at what Student Housing is doing with the raising of residence fees. I'm glad this

In response to pseudo-Marxist propaganda cooked up by David Suzuki et al, over 3,000 cities from around the world participated in Earth Hour this year, up from 400 last year and only one the year before that. As a result, power demand in as many cities declined significantly, resulting in millions of dollars in lost profit for power companies worldwide. In this era of financial crisis, this move is seen as suicidal by a number of prominent and respectable think tanks.

According to the American Enterprise Institute “over $450 million in profits worldwide will have been lost in just twenty four hours” and this could eventually put power plant companies in the same financial position as American car companies today. This kind of alarmist rhetoric does not do credit to lurking economic disaster that could potentially follow on the heels of such widespread anti-capitalist behaviour.

The leftist forces are meeting with remarkable success in convincing Americans to engage in economic self-mutilation. A recent study by Yale and George Mason Universities found that 34 per cent of the population said the United States should make a large-scale effort to reduce emissions and pollutants, even if it has large economic costs. “We think many Americans view climate change in a similar way. The United States should act to reduce its own emissions regardless of what other countries do," commented Yale grad student Anthony Leiserowitz.

Even worse, the ostensible purpose of Earth Hour is to raise awareness of climate change, a theory which has yet to be conclusively proven. The fact that over one billion people around the world turned off their lights together suggests that the same

Photo source/Google images

The Toronto cityscape before Earth Hour. number of people believe that climate change is a real fact, since they are motivated to act on this so-called knowledge. Such widespread misinformation could easily begin to influence the current economic shake-up, possibly contributing to even greater losses and corrections in the future.

“Earth Hour has always been a positive campaign. It's the idea of hope, not despair. I think that's something that's been incredibly important this year because there is so much despair around," said delusional Earth Hour Executive Director Andy Ridley. His obviously emotional reaction to inexplicable financial actions indicates that his campaign is completely irrational and devoid of logical substance.

At this very moment, tree-hugging operatives and eco-terrorists are working to draw even more people into their grand fantasy plot. If this

sort of behaviour is allowed to continue and proliferate, the consequences will undoubtedly be dire indeed. The tremendous financial losses from this Earth Hour could soon pale in comparison to those of next year or the year after that.

With this in mind, it is clear that the duty of every full-blooded American and Canadian capitalist is to put down this subversive group by any means necessary. An “Anti-Earth Hour” campaign has recently been launched by the Heritage Foundation, encouraging true patriots to double or even triple their electricity consumption next year, in order to off-set the reductions forced on us by the Green Menace. Furthermore, nothing short of an outright ban on Earth Hours – and any other lovey-huggy movements that threaten our nations’ economic security – will suffice to save our markets from ruin.

SALLY PIPER

happened; they can finally get their asses off the toilet from all the Kashi bars they're eating.”

While more than 80 countries and 3,000 cities participated in Earth Hour, there were no reported causalities across the world except at UTM. Dale Mullings, director of Student Housing and Residence Life, was flabbergasted at the events that passed.

“This is just shocking; especially considering the number of row meetings we hold every week to remind students of proper fire procedure. That silly couple that used those candles to wax-burn each other during sex will be deported back to their home countries.”

UTM Homeland Security would not confirm or deny the names of the individuals involved but a source close to The Medium has revealed that one of the parties involved in the “burned” sexual act was former S.E.C coordinator Sultana Agha. It appears as though she was attempting to satisfy herself whilst also attempting to remove the hair surrounding her nipples with hot wax.

"The students who left their residence unattended found their home in flames with thick pockets of smoke pouring from the kitchen windows," said Constable Peter, who aside from stating the obvious was writing a haiku as his report.

Photo/Matthew Filipowich

Smoke bellows out of Erindale Hall.

The Medium’s numbers 0 – The number of times Michael has shaven 1 – The number of push–ups Chris can do on top of a woman 2 – The number of court dates Ali has missed in the past two months 3 – The number of “Bitchez” wiped clean off our windows 3.25 – The average number of buddies that Andrew normally chills with in the office 4 – The number of blades Andrew goes through a week on his face 5 – The number of times Michael Di Leo changes his toothbrush every month 6 – The number of emails Michael received after calling someone a “fucking peach” 7 – The number of channels that the office TV gets with an antenna

8 – The number of team meetings cancelled by Ali because he was asleep downtown

50 – The number of times medium editors have stared at Alyssa Sepi’s (Seli’s?) body

10 – The number of years Michael would’ve spent in jail had he hooked up with that 16 year old

64 – The number of times a week Matthew gets yelled at by his girlfriend

11 – The number of times someone has had sex in the office

65 – The average number of explicit sexual references made during publishing each week

12 – The number of times Chris went to hockey before finishing his section

68 – The number of times Alain’s ethnicity came up in jokes

14 – The number of times Matt was furious about a comment over his girlfriend

70 – The number of times Matthew asked if we saw his photos

25 – The number of times Andrew has not gotten laid because Ali kept him in the office all night 45 – The number of pounds of gel Ali dumps in his hair per day 47 – The number of older women Chris allegedly slept with this past year

77 – The number of angry emails sent out by Alain this year 84 – The number of meetings Ali did not show up to in the past 30 days 99 – problems, but a bitch ain’t one – hit it!

102 – The number of times Ali kissed Matthew’s head

430 – The number of dollars Andrew owes Ali for food

4786 – The number of times the editorial team made fun of Chris

452 – The number of times Ali made questionable editorial decisions

4787 – The number of times Chris left the office pissed

546 – The number of times Andrew complained about Shelley’s (lack of a) bum

5002 – The number of times Chris told the Medium staff to “Fuck off”

650 – The number of times Ali said “fuck your mother” 839 – The number of girls who have googly-eyes for Chris 894 – The number of times Ali said “good one” and went unnoticed 965 – The number of words Andrew can write in one hour 1080 – The number of times Andrew wasn’t listening 2,341 – The number of emails Michael did not respond to

7896 – The number of times Andrew put the whole team to sleep with his political opinions 10,339 – The number of cigarettes smoked by The Medium team since September 1,234,698 – The number of times Matthew squealed last Sunday 3,012,566 – The number of times Ali impersonated Chris last week 175,883,475 – The number of unread copies of the Medium sitting around the office compiled by The Medium Team

The MVP race

Comedy dissected page 2 Monday, March 30, 2009

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www.mediumonline.ca

Volume 35, Issue 25

The Movement rolls on

Photo Source/UTM Movement

The newly elected 2009/2010 UTMSU executive committee: (left to right) Carole Au Yeung, VP Internal; Henry Ssali, VP External; Ibrahim Hindy, VP Part time; Joey Santiago, President; Maria Pilar Galvez, VP University Affairs; and Vickita Bhatt, VP Equity. They were elected by an approximate 3 to 1 margin in the election last week.

ANDREW HAMILTON SMITH NEWS EDITOR

Although results have not yet been made official, a ballot count on March 26 indicated a victory – by a substantial margin of approximately 300 for each position – for UTM Movement.

Both referenda items voted on the past two weeks – the Student Refugee program and the increase in student levy for the on-campus food bank – were also passed.

Led by current UTMSU VP Internal Joey Santiago, the new student union executive has essentially pledged to carry on the work of the previous one, building on existing efforts to lower tuition fees and overseeing the planned Student Centre expansion.

Initially, commerce student Tooba Haroon was prepared to run against UTM Movement for the position of VP Equity, but dropped out of the race for unknown reasons as of March 20. However, the “Vote No” campaign began to organize around the same time, and during voting days had members standing next to polling stations holding signs and encouraging students to vote against the UTM

Movement. In the end, only one out of three students took their advice – roughly the same number who spoiled their ballots or abstained – which could reflect the coordinated and constant campaigning efforts of Joey Santiago and his team.

At the CCIT polling station on Thursday, several student voters were interviewed by The Medium, and the most commonly reason cited for voting UTM Movement was “because my friend told me to” or “those people campaigning over there told me to.”

A second-year psychology student who wished to be known only as R.D was surprised to hear that only one team was running even as she prepared to vote, but conceded that “at least it makes it easier [to choose].”

After speaking to voters, this reporter cast his own ballot and encountered another election irregularity: full-time students were given voting slips for the part-time candidate, contrary to Election and Referenda Commission (ERC) rules.

According to ERC Co-Chair Saaliha Malik, part-time candidate Ibrahim Hindy was actually disqualified earlier last week, due to demerit points levied against the entire UTM Movement team for infractions such as using the UTMSU office and staff to produce campaign materials.

Whereas every other candidate is allowed 35 demerit points, the parttime candidate is only allowed 30,

and the accumulated total of 32 that UTM Movement is currently appealing (the results of which remain unknown as of press time) means that Hindy was technically out of the race.

The fact that an unknown number of full-time students also voted for Hindy certainly calls the validity of the final results into question.

“I believe that con stant and consistent communication with the student body is the key to getting things done.”

UTMSU President elect

Joey Santiago

The All-Candidates Debate on March 23 did little to lend any legitimacy to the election, partly since there was no “debating” to speak of, but also because only a handful of students bothered to show up. As well, many of those in attendance were UTMSU members or volunteers themselves. Questions were read from printed sheets and after each answer was given, the applause from the candidate’s table often overwhelmed the scattered clapping from the audience.

At a table near the back, third-year biochemistry student Leen Ghozlani commented that she was genuinely

interested in listening to what the candidates on stage had to say, but that it was hard to hear what with the faulty microphones and audio system. When asked about the lack of competition in the election, third-year molecular biology student Mona Kalmouni suggested that it wasn’t that bad. “We have trust in them [UTM Movement].

They were trained really well by the people before them,” she enthused.

President-elect Joey Santiago agreed that his experience with the previous UTMSU helped to shape his approach to leadership in his current role. “I will take the lessons I've learned from this year and apply them toward the year to come,” explained Santiago. “It feels great to have the campus behind my team. Finally we can start working towards next year's vision and prepare for a great year ahead.”

When asked how he planned to implement his goals, Santiago emphasized that it would require meaningful and productive relationships with groups and clubs on campus. “I believe that constant and consistent communication with the student body is the key to getting things done,” he maintained. “We want to make sure that we stay on track in providing students with what they actually want.”

The lack of opposition in the election seemed to disappoint Santiago, who suggested that the “Vote No” protesters’ concerns stem from the fact that there was little to no opposi-

tion for this year's executive positions. “The idea of telling students to 'vote against' with the argument that voting in favour would be supporting student apathy does not make sense,” pointed out Santiago. “If these individuals are concerned with the apathy that is apparently present at UTM, I welcome them to pick up a nomination package for next years' elections.”

Sunil Shah, the UTM commerce alumni who helped to organize the “Vote No” protest movement, explained that his group was created with the intention of opening up and questioning the democratic process, and not just attacking UTM Movement. “How is this election fair when one party is running?” he asked.

“I understand that they had taken the initiative to run, but the true question to be asked is, ‘Is this democratic’?”

“The purpose of this campaign is to ensure that those running for these positions will make a difference, and that students have the right to vote no if they believe that the candidates did not represent the students vision,” Shah further elaborated. “Due to the nature of the group, we received backlash from supporters of UTM Movement [although] we tried to keep the debate as civil as possible.”

Shah did not comment on why his group chose not to organize a counterticket or mount some official opposition to UTM Movement; perhaps next year we’ll see a real fight.

2 THE MEDIUM

NEWS

MONDAY, MARCH

30, 2009

TO THE EARTH FROM ABOVE

Student Centre “wear and tear” FIONA BUCHANAN ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR

Pieces of the Student Centre roof have been falling onto the Blind Duck Pub patio below during the past month, requiring caution tape around the area in order to prevent injury to pedestrians walking underneath the structure. The precise reason for such rapid decay of the tenyear old building is unclear, although there have been some suggestions of maintenance deferrals and cut-backs in the design process of the Student Centre.

Mohammad Hashim, executive director of the Student Centre, explained that the damage was not unusual or significant, and noted that a work order had been placed with the Facilities and Maintenance department. Although control of the Student Centre was officially transferred to the Student Union (UTMSU) two years ago, maintenance and repairs are still conducted through the University.

The Director of Facilities and Maintenance, Paul Goldsmith, was unsure of what arrangement exists between the UTMSU and the UTM administration, except that maintenance is handled in the same way for

the Student Centre as it is for all other buildings on campus. He also attributed the roof damage to “ordinary wear and tear” and did not think that it was related to any mainte-

At the time of con struction, Kohn noted that the cost of demolishing the Crossroads Building would have been equal to the cost of renovat ing and preparing it for expansion. nance deferrals or cut-backs in the past, although he also admitted that he did not know the extent of the problem.

When asked how long it would take before the roof of the Student Centre could be fixed, Goldsmith initially responded that there would be a timeline for repairs by Monday, March 23. As of press time, Goldsmith was unavailable for comment, despite several attempts to reach him.

Plans to expand the Student Centre were put forward in 2007 by Hashim in partnership with UTMSU, who

noted that although expansion projects around campus were initiated, the Student Centre has remained stagnant, still providing the same resources for Student Life that were originally designed and intended for a population of 6,000 students.

Since University of Toronto President David Naylor’s Towards 2030 plan calls for UTM to have 15,000 students in twenty years time, Hashim is proposing to add numerous new club spaces, food services, and public computers to the existing structure. According to a 2007 UTMSU report on the expansion of the building, the move is necessary in order “to better facilitate the needs of the campus’ growing population.”

The Student Centre was designed

by Kohn Schnier Architects in 1997 as an addition onto the existing Crossroads Building. Martin Kohn, who directed the project, said that his company fulfilled the requirements of the competition brief set out by the University, but indicated that the University cut back on plans for the upper level of the Student Centre.

“There were level changes made to the upper interior [of the building],” said Kohn, though he was unaware of why UTM decided to do so.

At the time of construction, Kohn noted that the cost of demolishing the

Crossroads Building would have been equal to the cost of renovating and preparing it for expansion. Kohn more recently speculated that perhaps the University wanted to spare the materials from the Crossroads Building to avoid throwing them away.

With so many questions surrounding the structural integrity of the Student Centre, and the roof shedding material, it is worth asking how this building can possibly be expanded.

The UTMSU proposal involves building new rooms and structures underneath the existing roof, where there are currently covered patios. If the roof is falling apart, how will this be possible?

Photo/Matthew Filipowich

Pieces of the Student Centre roof are falling off and creating a hazard.

Bondar touches down at UTM FIONA BUCHANAN ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR

Dr. Roberta Bondar landed at UTM on March 26 for an environment lecture attended by approximately two hundred people. Hosted by the UTM Student Union (UTMSU), the event was the final presentation of the Green Project, led by UTMSU’s Ministry of Environment.

Dr. Bondar completed her Ph. D in neurobiology at UTM in 1974 and was the first neurologist, not to mention Canada’s first female astronaut, to go into outer space in 1992.

Bondar was introduced by UTMSU’s VP University Affairs, Marijana Josifovska, who commended Bondar for being named one of the “best explorers” by Time Magazine in 2003 and for holding 24 honorary degrees from North American universities, among numerous other awards.

Many students regarded the lecture as a valuable learning experience not to be missed. “You often learn more with these types of lectures; they are more inspiring,” said Nada Hamod, a fourth-year management and geology student.

Bondar did not disappoint, showcasing her photography of the earth from outer space along with a selection from her photo-essay books of Canada and other locations worldwide. “Remember, the initial [goal of space exploration] was ‘we want to go to the moon, we want to go someplace else,’” explained Bondar. “Yet when we get there, there’s nothing as spectacular as the mosaic of our own planet.”

She also emphasized the importance of continuous learning throughout life, and the art of pulling together all learning experiences to understand the world from a more broadbased perspective. This approach is especially pertinent when considering climate change and global warming.

“I’d like to give you a different view,” Bondar began. “I want to talk to you about the conundrum we are facing which is: what is humanderived and what is natural phenomenon? I’m not going to be able to solve this for you tonight; I’m going to talk to you about some of the things that I believe in, that I’ve seen from space that allow me to think and to read more widely.”

Bondar stressed that there is no clear cut answer towards determining

Photo/Matthew Filipowich

Canada’s first female astronaut Dr. Roberta Bondar spoke at UTM last Thursday to a crowd of 200. Topics ranged from environmental con cerns, turning ideas into action, and thinking about things in new ways. if certain acts are either good or bad for the environment. “The problem is, it is much more complex than that,” Bondar stated.

Although Bondar acknowledged that the complexity of the earth gives no definite answers pertaining to environmental changes, she didn’t

shy away from reminding those in attendance that they need to be active and involved in protecting the planet.

“We need to have the courage to look out, to find new ideas, new solutions,” she encouraged, adding that “we need people to try to become, not just great observers of our planet,

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but people who are innovative and creative.”

When asked about her thoughts on current efforts to address issues such as global warming, Bondar said that she was not satisfied, but that she has faith that change is possible. “I believe in people so much, I believe in the positive aspect of human beings so much, or I wouldn’t be here. The environment is something we all share. We’ve seen some change. We need to see more.”

Brandon MacDonald, associate to Josifovska and a member of the Ministry of Environment, said the evening was a success although he had hoped that the attendance would have been higher. “Roberta Bondar provided a different perspective on the environment, [one] that brought light to new issues – I’ll take a lot of this with me,” said MacDonald.

A Ministry of Environment volunteer and second-year economics student, Shafi Viquar, captured the importance of environmental awareness. “If you are concerned about [the environment], you will do what you can to contribute to the solution,” said Viquar. “I want to know more about environmental issues; it’s my future.”

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MONDAY, MARCH

30, 2009 THE MEDIUM 3

DINNER FOR HUMANITY, OH, THE HUMANITY

NEWS

Red Cross Residence line-up opposes war angers students KAREN AKHTAR ASSISTANT FEATURES EDITOR

On March 25, the UTM Red Cross with the cooperation of the UTM Historical Studies Society hosted the “Even Wars Have Limits” semi-formal dinner at the Blind Duck Pub. The event was intended to raise awareness about the negative consequences of war, with all proceeds going to the Canadian Red Cross “Even Wars Have Limits” campaign.

Attendees were able to choose which issues they wanted the proceeds to go towards, such as women afflicted by war, refugees, weapons issues, or children victimized by war.

The evening’s host, Afshan Omar, who is also chairperson of the UTM Red Cross, began the evening’s activities with a game that tested the audience’s knowledge of the Red Cross.

This was followed by a PowerPoint presentation about war which portrayed the destruction caused by weapons such as landmines and the impact of war on vulnerable populations, such as women, children and refugees.

During the course of the evening, guest speaker Svetlana Ageeva spoke about the goals of the Red Cross and stressed that although many people associate the Red Cross with neutrality and impartiality, the Red Cross is not impartial to the suffering of vulnerable populations.

To highlight the importance of student organizations working together, a range of dances was performed by the Tamil Student Association; first, a traditional Tamil dance followed by one based on the story of “Romeo and Juliet.” After that, Zdrazao Dimitrov of the UTM Music Club gave a musical performance, playing songs based

on the theme of challenging war from bands such as Keane and Coldplay.

Attendees then participated in a team-building competition, which included building the tallest structure with marshmallows and spaghetti straws. A visualization exercise ensued right after, where attendees were asked to picture themselves in a situation where they lost a limb. After writing down their emotions while visualizing themselves as limb-less (on sticky-notes provided at each table) their responses were then posted up on a board for all to see.

The overriding objective of all these games and exercises was to encourage attendees to empathize with victims of war. Everybody was asked to examine case scenarios involving people affected by war. A few people were also asked onstage to discuss their scenarios with the rest of the audience.

One such person, Maysoon Sheikh, a fourth-year history and classics major from the St. George campus, talked about a scenario involving a child who was forced into becoming a soldier through government propaganda. Mohamad Awad, president of the UTM Historical Studies Society and a fourth-year history, diaspora and transnational studies student, spoke about another case involving a child soldier and the related issues that it entailed, such as the importance of age, and where guilt truly lies.

The UTM Red Cross also put shoes on the stage in order to symbolize the children who have lost their limbs to landmines. Although it was disturbing and sad to see all these reminders of pain and suffering in the world, the evening left many in attendance feeling empowered, and showed them that it is possible to make a real difference in the world.

UTM campus crime reports March 21, 2009 1:47 a.m.

Controlled drugs and Substances Act Campus Police received a com plaint from a tenant in Leacock Lane in regards to the smell of burnt marijuana. Campus Police attended and investigated with out further incident.

March 21, 2009 3:25 a.m.

Fire Call Campus Police attended and investigated a fire call from Oscar Peterson Hall. The cause of the alarm was determined to be a pulled fire station. System was reset; all in order.

March 22, 2009 4:45 a.m.

Mischief Campus Police responded to a mischief call in the CCIT Building. UTMAC and UTMSU posters had been damaged.

Investigation is still ongoing.

March 22, 2009 11:00 a.m.

By Law Offences Campus Police investigated two men for allowing their dogs to

run on Principal Road without a leash.

March 23, 2009 10:26 a.m.

Theft Under $5,000 Campus Police investigated the theft of a laptop from the South Building. The theft occurred on March 12. Reporting the theft was delayed by the complainant.

March 24, 2009 10:17 p.m.

Domestic Dispute Campus Police and Peel Police investigated an argument between a husband and wife.

No charges were laid.

March 24, 2009 2:53 p.m.

Reckless Driving A non community member reported a speeding driver that paid no attention to pedestrians crossing at a crosswalk.

March 24, 2009 6:35 p.m.

Fire Call Mississauga Fire Department responded to a fire alarm at the South Building. Cause of the alarm was a tripped pull station.

SAALIHA MALIK

On Saturday March 21, a large group of students began lining up outside of Oscar Peterson Hall around 8 p.m. in the hopes of obtaining specific residence units for next semester.

The application process was advertised to begin on Sunday, March 22. Students were to register in person between noon and 5 p.m. in Colman Commons, Oscar Peterson Hall.

During past years, a sizeable lineup usually began around 8 a.m. on registration day. “We thought we'd get ahead of that this year,” said first-year student Rachel Conceicao.

“I think word spread from there, and by the time the residence staff came to set up there was already a decent crowd lined up.”

By the time the clock struck 1 a.m., a large crowd of approximately 400 students had formed in and around Oscar Peterson Hall. As a safety measure, staff from Student Housing and Residence Life (SHRL), who is in charge of this application process, took the names of students lined up before the advertised registration time of noon the next day.

“At a certain point, the volume of people became a safety and fire code concern for us. Measures were required to eliminate this concern.

Under consultation with Campus Police, student and professional staff, and returning student applicants, the decision was made to ask students to leave, while implementing a system that honoured their placement in line,” explained Emma Beamson, communications coordinator for SHRL. Students who were unaware of the “proposed” line-up the night before arrived at Colman Commons the next morning only to find all the

Photo/Lori lee Emshey

Students were forced to wait in line for hours to get a spot on Residence next year. spaces filled before registration time.

“Nobody wanted to line up that early and spend sixteen hours in line.

But a panic started, as if there were going to be no more rooms left.

People who arrived to line up in the morning were sure to be waitlisted and some just gave up on residence all together,” said second-year student, Marc Bressler.

Many students have maintained that if they were aware of this issue, they would not have left residence for the weekend to visit family or any other purpose.

In spite of this, Beamson maintains that the application process began at noon on Sunday as advertised. “We did not process any applications before noon. As we opened up at noon, students were called according to their placement in line.”

Some students have also redflagged accessibility concerns, claiming that students with accessibility needs and could not wait in line overnight, were not reserved any

spots. However, SHRL has since refuted this claim. “We did take into consideration students with disabilities, and offered them the opportunity to submit an Accessibility Report to our department before March 15.

Arrangements were made with individual students based on their needs,” said Beamson.

Student Housing and Residence Life has acknowledged the shortfalls of this system in light of this development and ensures that this will not happen in subsequent years. “We will definitely look into the system for upcoming years and explore ways to improve its efficiency. We are always looking for creative ways to accommodate returning students’ needs and interests, while at the same time balancing a first-year student housing guarantee, which is mandated by the Provost’s office.”

As for now, students without a place on residence next year will have to look for off-campus housing, which will arguably be harder to find.

4 THE MEDIUM

OPINION

MONDAY, MARCH

30, 2009

ALI KASIM EDITOR IN CHIEF editor@mediumonline.ca

EDITORIAL It’s the joke issue. Chill the fuck out.

No, the Undergraduate Commerce Society hasn’t been abandoned by the Department of Management. No, the Student Union isn’t taking over them. No, all the quotes weren’t real. And no, a residence building did not burn down because of candles used during Earth Hour. But if you believed all of the above, even for a minute, you’ve just made our day. We strive to do our best here at The Medium, every week.

And if you’re wondering why we targeted UCS in our front page joke, just think of the response we received with the Biz Frosh article a month ago. It would surely be bad “business” to not tap on them again. As for the editorial cartoon by Arnold Wong, we received it a week after the whole affair but felt it would be slightly crass to run it alongside the UCS President’s letter of apology. So we put it on ice, till now. We think it’s fucking hilarious. By the way, where are all you editorial cartoonists hiding at? The campus newspaper needs you.

The other contender for the front page joke concerned the degrees we received upon graduation. We wanted to inform you of a change in policy with regards to the institution name printed on the degree – instead of the “University of Toronto,” it will read, “University of Toronto Mississauga.” Thankfully, I realized in time that this exact same joke was exercised sometime back in 2002. Researching further, I also learned of the outcry it sparked.

Apparently, the article was so seriously written that students bought into it completely, and proceeded to flood the Office of the Registrar and Dean of Student Affairs with E-mails and phone calls.

Many even flocked the administrative offices to voice their concerns and disapproval in person. So much so that the Office of the Registrar was forced to put up a sign outside that indicated the rumour wasn’t true.

Naturally, the editor-in-chief at the time faced the onslaught of the powers-that-be, from both this and the downtown campus.

Consequently, she had to write a retraction and editorial the following week apologizing for her “questionable editorial decision.” Even the “joke issue shield” wasn’t enough to justify things.

We just hope we haven’t stirred up as much trouble ourselves. We made sure to leave out all homophobic and racially derogatory subject matter. And of course, we didn’t even think about going anywhere near religion, even though the president of the MSA gave us his blessings to write about “a new membership rule” that requires all members to grow a three-inch beard.

Our only regret is that we couldn’t go a full twelve-pager with the jokes, hence the two front pages. Darn UTMSU elections had to get scheduled so late in the year. I hope none of you incoming execs get ratified.

Just kidding now...

To all those we failed to make mention of in any of our joke articles, please forgive us – we had only so much space. Although it’s true that we left some of you bastards out fearing you had no sense of humour. By that rationale, you commerce kids should be flattered. But we did try to be as inclusive as possible. Don’t believe me? Just look at your right hand.

Yours,

Ali Kasim

The Medium is currently looking for an Advertising Manager for the 2009/10 academic year.

The job requires you to acquire local advertising clientele for the newspaper both online and print.

For more information on the position, or to submit a cover letter and resume, e mail ads@mediumonline.ca

Letter to the Editor

EDITORIAL

Is this our democracy?

EDITOR IN CHIEF Ali Kasim editor@mediumonline.ca

Dear editor,

NEWS EDITOR Andrew Hamilton Smith news@mediumonline.ca

Are we living in a Fre e and Democratic Canada?

How dare Minister Jason Kenney presume to decide who can speak publicly in this country, and what I as a free Canadian citizen, can hear, read and see?

In Canada we consider freedom of speech a fundamental right in our democracy. Banning British MP George Galloway from speaking at scheduled pu blic me etings in Canada during his North American speaking tour is an af front to Canadian democracy and the intrinsic right of freedom of speech.

Canadians have the right to hear Mr. Galloway whether they agree with his positions on the Middle East or not.

George W. Bush who is responsible for mass illegal murder, illegal spying on his own citizens, and torture, all of which are in clear violation of international statutes, can come to Canada for any and all speaking engagements, yet British Member of Parliament George Galloway, responsible for no such crimes, is kept out of Canada and defined as a “sec urity risk. ” Ridiculous and ar rogant on the Minister's part.

As a Minister and M P, Ja son Kenney has claimed to be a proponent of freedom of speech.

Apparently, he is afraid of what George Galloway has to say, including a critique of the Conservative Canadian government’s pro-war and anti-Arab policies including the failed combat operations in an increasingly dangerous and deadly war in Afghanistan.

As the Minister responsible for keeping George Galloway out of Canada - an act even the repressive regime in Egypt was not able to do - he will stand solely responsible, along with the Conservative government, of denying freedom of speech and association for political reasons of censure and ideology, and he will be held accountable in the upcoming election.

I call on the Minister responsible not just toward his minority party but toward all Canadians in allowing George Galloway to come to Canada and speak. As a democratic advocate, he has no right to censor a British Member of Parliament who has been invited to Canada by thousands of his Canadian supporters to travel and speak freely about the failures and biases of our government.

I call on each one of you to attend the UTM event this Tuesday at CCT 1080 at 7 p.m. More details can be found on www.defendfreespeech.ca.

Every unsold ticket will be a defeat for free speech and a victory for Ja son Kenney and the Conservative Government.

MP George Galloway will deliver a live, interactive original speech, either in person or via live broadcast, simply because Canada is democratic and free.

A&E EDITOR Michael Di Leo arts@mediumonline.ca FEATURES EDITOR Alain Latour features@mediumonline.ca SPORTS EDITOR Christopher Sa’d sports@mediumonline.ca COPY EDITOR Shelley Bahorie PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR Matthew Filipowich photos@mediumonline.ca COMPOSITE EDITOR Matthew Filipowich WEBMASTER Verisha Khanam DISTRIBUTION MANAGER Heather Friesen BUSINESS MANAGER Romano Bergic ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR Fiona Buchanan ASSISTANT A&E EDITORS Ayman Saab Nives Hajdin ASSISTANT FEATURES EDITOR Karen Akhtar ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR Andrew Tysiak

In student Solidarity, Walied Khogali

EDITORIAL Please write to:editor@mediumonline.ca Letters to the editor will be edited for spelling, grammar, style, and coherence. Letters will not exceed 650 words in print. Letters that incite hatred, violence or letters that are racist, homophobic, sexist, or libelous will not be published. Anonymous letters will not be published. Letters and and other editorial materials reflect opinions of the authors, and do not necessarily reflect the opini ons of the editors, staff, volunteers, or Board of Directors of The Medium. In other words, just because we print it doesn’t necessarily mean we agree with it. Submission does not guarantee publication.

Submission of materials to The Medium presumes the writer has read, and agrees with, this policy.

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MONDAY, MARCH

Striving toward more “positive pub spaces” “I haven’t seen one queer couple being intimate…more needs to be done to make LGBTQ students feel comfortable.” When we first read this review from Helen Orvis in The Medium two weeks ago, we were surprised.

Sex Pub, our most controversial event, has met its fair share of criticism throughout the years, but each year the coordinators’ goal has been to create a safe environment for everyone who attends the event, as well as to boost awareness of the Sexual Education & Peer Counselling Centre which is a Positive Space. Orvis seems to equate intimacy with comfort and with regards to this comment, we would like to state that we do not measure comfort levels by intimacy; this is why the aim of our event is not to encourage intimacy but rather to celebrate sexuality in all its various forms. While we agree that the fight against homophobia is not close to being over, the measures that SEC took were meant to ensure that all students felt comfortable at Sex Pub. While we encourage and promote positivity and acceptance, the fact still remains that, statistically, 90 per cent of the population identifies as heterosexual. Furthermore, when we asked friends and fellow student leaders if they had witnessed exclusively heterosexual intimacy, we were met with a resounding ‘no’ and were privy to stories involving intimacy between students of all orientations. However, we agree

that there were fewer displays of queer intimacy at the event. This may stem from a sense of uneasiness in displaying intimacy due to the fact that there are simply fewer queer students on campus.

Ensuring comfort for the diverse attendees of the event is a major priority for the Centre. A few measures that we took to reach out to the queer community included: 1) Holding an event (our Sex Marathon) which consisted of a variety of games and activities that aimed to challenge existing ideas about sexuality and that promoted anti-oppression. During this event we raffled off Sex Pub tickets to have individuals who were exposed to ‘anti-oppression training’ present at our main event.

2) Several of our volunteers from the night were members of the queer student group, OUT@UTM, which is affiliated with SEC. Not to mention that several members of the SEC Executive are queer-identifying, which contributed to the sensitivity that we tried to instill in the event.

3) A percentage of our proceeds from the night were donated to the Triangle Program, an alternative school for queer identifying high school students.

When we spoke to OUT@UTM about their thoughts regarding the comment in The Medium as well as the night’s events (Sex Pub) they

stated that they disagreed with Orvis’ comment and wished to be quoted: “We are deeply saddened to hear that a member of our community did not feel welcomed at Sex Pub. Many members from OUT@UTM helped put on Sex Pub by volunteering, and while we did observe more straight couples than gay couples, statistically this is true of many social gatherings. We were not aware of any incidences of homophobia that were not immediately addressed. If anyone feels that they were intimidated or oppressed in anyway either at Sex Pub or anywhere on campus we would encourage them to bring there concerns to OUT@UTM (Student Centre Room 241)”.

We share their sentiments, and while our attempt to create a safe space was genuine, we are willing to acknowledge that despite our efforts we might have created an environment where queer couples didn’t feel as comfortable as heterosexual couples. SEC would like to encourage any concerned students to express their opinions to us if they have any suggestions for improvement.

The SEC Office

30, 2009 THE MEDIUM 5

OPINION

Student housing draws more heat Dear Editor, This letter is in response to the letter entitled “Student Housing: A line-up of issues.”

I am in a very similar situation as Devon Sampson, as I will be a fourthyear Psychology and Crime, Law, and Deviance double major next year, and I live almost an hour and a half away from Mississauga. I booked off Sunday, March 22 from work so that I could travel the hour and a half to Mississauga and stand in line for a residence spot. After over seven hours in a crowded, stressful line, I was awarded the 74th spot on the waiting list for residence. I am writing this letter to bring light into a few issues that were not mentioned in last week’s issue of The Medium that I feel are important.

First of all, I felt sorry for the international and Living Learning/Gender Neutral housing applicants that stood in line for almost six hours and were then told to leave. The SHRL staff made an announcement around 3:30 p.m. that all of the international students and Living Learning/Gender Neutral housing students that had received an E-mail confirming their spot in residence that they had extended the deadline to pay the $500 deposit and hand in their documents by 12 p.m. the next day. Those students were asked to leave, and to return to residence the next day, so they basically stood in line for six hours for no reason. If the SHRL staff had been more organized, they would have told those students to hand in their deposit and documents at a different time, or on a different day, in the first place.

Secondly, I was absolutely appalled at the state of the cafeteria after all of the students who were on the list from lining up on Saturday had left. Leftover food and drinks, garbage, plastic bottles, and

all sorts of food-related remnants were left in piles all over the tables of the cafeteria. The students that had lined up early on Saturday before everyone else, and who were allowed to jump the line on Sunday, left the cafeteria in such a state that I was embarrassed. Since these students’ names were on the list, they only had to wait for their names to be called, and did not have to “keep” a spot in line for seven hours, so they filled up the cafeteria tables and enjoyed themselves while waiting. The OPH cafeteria is filled with garbage cans and recycling bins for students to use after they’re done eating. I can only hope that these messy students do not trash their residence rooms in the same manner next year.

Thirdly, I would like to know why the SHRL changed the system used for determining which students were awarded residence spots. When I applied for residence for my second year at UTM, the SHRL staff used a point system to determine your chances of getting a spot.

They looked at what year you were in, your CGPA, where you lived, and whether you had any offenses on your record against residence, among other things. If you were a fourth-year student with a higher than average CGPA, who lived over an hour and a half away from UTM, and had no offenses on your record, your chances of getting a spot were extremely high, as long as you paid your deposit in time, of course. So why am I number 74 on the waiting list for a spot in residence next year? Simply put, the SHRL does not care about who you are or what kind of student you are anymore, as long as you can pay the $500 deposit.

Thank you for your time reading this.

Sincerely, Ceri Higgs

8 THE MEDIUM

MONDAY, MARCH

30, 2009

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

GTA’s most wanted Local rap crew, The Naggerz, have made waves in the hip hop world with their newly released EP, Dollaz N’ Centz.

The Medium takes an in depth look into the making of the record and the impetus behind it. It’ll take a nation of millions to hold The Naggerz back.

posed to be high.

Very few performers are able to find that balance between their drug habits and their music. In general, one hinders the other. In some cases it destroys the musician entirely. But sometimes a drug can enable an artist to create something they could not have otherwise. Whether through inspiration or removal of certain inhibitions, the drug becomes integral to the creative process.

Having said all that, The Naggerz’s five song EP, Dollaz ’ Centz, probably wouldn’t have come to be if it weren’t for this phenomena.

Paul “Pauley Dollaz” Castrodale

and Mike “Mikey Centz” Di Leo deliver 23 minutes of homemade hip-hop, rhyming about six-digit incomes, hoes, and cognac. Though “Hurley t-shirts and McDonald’s in my Honda civic” might be more true to life than “ice on my neck and Cristal in my jet,” with lines like “I put the beast in bistro” I won’t knock them for it.

Mixing prepared material and impromptu tangents, the pair switch off, setting free the violent, misogynistic, at times downright nonsensical hip-hop that burns deep underneath their American apparel 100 per cent cotton hoodies.

Travels on the instinctive paths of rythmn.

KJARTAN HEWITT

Generally, substance abuse does not impress me. Not that I disapprove of it or anything, I’m just not impressed by it.

When rappers rhyme about getting crunk, or what have you, I equate it with a frat boy bragging about how many beers he drank last night. Snoop Dogg gets away with it because he’s always high. It’s a part of him that only adds to the whole Snoop experience. No one ever goes to a Snoop show, realizes he’s high and is concerned about the effect it may have on the music. Snoop is sup-

photos/Prezidentz Choice Records

The cover of The Naggerz’s Dollaz N’ Centz EP.

The song “Richard Monkey’s Cheese Museum,” despite a title that sounds like a Weird Al album from 1992, is a favourite. It’s got WA-like beats, juxtaposed with two of the most innocuous rappers ever performing over it. The real charm of the song is the candid conversation it’s peppered with. At one point Castrodale confides in Di Leo that they may have just recorded the best rap song ever.

After “Ice On My Neck,” “2 Emceez,” and “Wassup Hoes,” – the content of each song pretty much self-explanatory – the album degrades into a nine-minute, long freestyle called “Keep it Real.” The song is mostly about the same stuff as the other songs, apart from a 36-second chunk where the MCs repeat the line

“Young Hov in the house, it’s so necessary.”

If I had one wish, it would be that the duo get it together and perform live, or at least figure out how to use auto-tune in GarageBand and start making Kanye songs.

The lyrics are crass, the recording of a low quality, and just how much Glen Levitz and pot were involved in the mixing process is dubious, but this is one of the more interesting rap albums I’ve heard this year. If you can’t respect that your whole perspective is whack, maybe you’ll love them when they fade to black.

To listen to The Naggerz latest sin gle, visit www.mediumonline.ca

Humour me: Comedy through the ages AYMAN SAAB ASSISTANT A&E EDITOR “Funny” is a relative term. Try explaining the merit of a film like Superbad to your parents, or, even better, your grandparents. You’ll most certainly run into some kind of argument. Either they can’t relate to the film’s content or they just don’t see the comedic value of a kid named “McLovin.” Either way, the current state of comedy, in both television and cinema, has become so saturated and diversified that finding a universal, funny-to-all, show or film is nearly impossible.

In the past two decades, there has been a surge in the status of comedians. Some of the most famous comedians of this period command Hollywood salaries of twenty million dollars or more, in comparison to revolutionary comics like Richard Pryor, Lenny Bruce, and George Carlin, who, at many points during their respective careers, struggled to even earn a comfortable income. The demand for comedy is high, but what is “comedy” today?

Essentially, there are three schools

of current comedic thought.

First is the classic slapstick comedy that is perhaps the most universally understood. This is where a pie in the face or a football to the groin draws laughs through the exaggeration of violent nonsensical action. In the past, this was the specialty of Charlie Chaplin and The Three Stooges, but more recently this form has been taken up by Hollywood heavyweights like Adam Sandler and Will Ferrell.

The comedic sub-genre is attractive to those who are not interested in narrative subtleties but enjoy straightforward, obvious comedy.

The second, the situational comedy, or sitcom, is both prominent and dwindling. It’s as if everything that could be done in a sitcom has inevitably been done. While the standard sitcom offers little in the way of creativity, it has become a bankable comedic outlet.

The birth of the sitcom arose in the 50s and continued to gain popularity throughout the following decades.

Television shows like I Love Lucy, M.A.S.H., and Seinfeld gained huge followings, and were arguably more inventive, but were still geared towards broad audiences. The wide

reaching comedy is the mainstay of millions, but despised by just as many.

And finally, a new form of comedy has become a force to reckon with within the past four years. Sparked by the genius mind of writer/director/producer Judd Apatow (Superbad, Forgetting Sarah Marshall), the new genre is a satireladen, politically-savvy, gross-outpot-smoking comedy that has produced some of the most successful comedies in recent memory.

There's something about Apatow’s style that resonates in the modern comedic landscape. It’s fresh, relevant, and not averse to going one step too far in its humour. It’s this comedic school that launched the careers of Steve Carell and Seth Rogen, and based on its relatively recent surge in popularity, it shows no sign of stopping. In the following months, Apatow and his clan will be releasing a bevy of new films that guarantee to challenge comedic norms.

So what is funny? Is it a pie in the face, a laugh track, or a couple of drunken cops shooting stop signs with an underage teenager? It’s debatable.

Comedy is dialectical. It is constantly

evolving, but each sub-genre shares many of the same principles with one another in order to negotiate its very existence.

It’s normal to not see eye-to-eye with someone about comedy, especially when dealing with a form of generational gap. The late orthrop Frye once wrote that comedy was

divided into two factions: a “Society of the Youth” and a “Society of the Old”. Frye perceived this dichotomy to be at the root of all comedy.

So when you argue with your parents about which cast of Saturday ight Live was better, ’75 or ’95, just take a moment and laugh.

That’s what comedy is all about.

photo/outnow.ch

Scene from Pineapple Express featuring (from left to right) Seth Rogen, Danny McBride, and James Franco.

MONDAY, MARCH

30, 2009 THE MEDIUM 7

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

The ABC’s of CMW Weeks after Canadian Music Week, we take a look at the funniest one liners about the bands who played. Here are some, in alphabetical order.

KJARTAN HEWITT Colin Munroe: Kid likes the auto-tune effect more than T-Pain likes silly hats. And the auto-tune effect.

Dub Trio: The name of their band is about as imaginative as the premise of this article.

Econoline Crush: Big shiny tunes

four called. It was awkward.

Gogol Bordello: A Scot, a Russian and an Israeli walk into a bar… Then a Ukrainian, an Ecuadorian, another Russian, an Ethiopian and two Americans.

I See Rowboats: These guys are going to be big. Rich Aucoin big!

Jully Black: Fun fact about Jully Black: She has not aged since 1998 by

living only in short increments during the hooks of other Canadian R&B performer’s songs.

Punish Yourself: You remember all the black light paint covered bad guys in Joel Schumacher’s Batman movies? They started a band.

Rich Aucoin: This guy is going to be big, I See Rowboats big!

The Travezty: Reminds me of a lit-

tle group out of Alberta I saw a few years ago. I think they were called “The Nicklebacks.” Hope they’re doing well.

Winter Gloves: Fun fact about Montreal: If your band is from Montreal, people from Toronto will immediately assume you’re cool.

Yoav: Fun fact about Europe: It’s even cooler than being from Montreal.

Sports editor embarassed in front of peers

money back

fast photo/Sunny Pathak

Chris receives invite. That invite is for Keys to the VIP. Chris auditions for Keys to the VIP. Unbeknownst by Chris, the interviewer is his ex girl friend’s best friend. Interviewer asks Chris (in front of girls) about the time he was caught watching Brazilian fart porn. Chris is awkward.

CD REVIEW

Hordes of Chaos Kreator 5/5 LUCAS DI MASCIO

Ask anyone who the greatest thrash band in the world is and you’ll most likely hear Metallica, Megadeth, or Slayer.

Unfortunately those three bands haven’t recently released anything good enough to cement their status on the leaderboard. Quite the opposite, Kreator’s last few albums have been written and produced very well.

Kreator is just one of those many bands that is good enough, and often better, than the heavyweights of their genre, but for some reason doesn’t get as much attention because they aren’t “mainstream” enough for widespread consumption.

There are ten tracks on Hordes of Chaos, and not a single one of them is weak. The opening track “Hordes of Chaos,” which is full of Mille’s (vocalist/guitarist) trademark raspy growls and catchy chorus singalongs, is sure to be a crowd favourite at their concerts. “War Curse,” the other single off the album, lyrically deals with Naziism, much like the true thrash tradition.

One of the more interesting tracks on the record is “Amok Run” which opens up with an acoustic serenade while Mille sings with his ear-drum shattering baritone voice.

The accompanying bonus DVD, titled A ecrologue For The Elite, chronicles the making of the album as it shows clips of the band recording and mixing the album, discussing the content, and of course, plenty of clips of them goofing around.

Hordes of Chaos is the best metal album to have come out in ’09 thus far, and although its extreme thrash nature may not appeal to all fans of the heavy metal spectrum, it is definitely an album that can be appreciated by long-time fans and newcomers of the thrash genre.

walk in with your taxes, walk out with your money and you could win $5,000 towards a road trip. visit refundroadtrip.ca

come in today or call 1-800-HRBLOCK (472-5625)

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8 THE MEDIUM

MONDAY, MARCH

30, 2009

Recycled food: UTM’s future?

ALAIN LATOUR FEATURES EDITOR

In light of the food crisis at UTM, with students complaining about high prices and poor food options, recent Commerce graduate Steve Jamazon teamed with UTM’s management, the Recycling Task Team, the Repository of Garbage Management, and UTMSU to launch Garbage to Food (GTF).

The venture, sponsored by renowned environmentalist David Sukuzi, operates on a simple principle: take uneaten or half-eaten food, reprocess it, and combine it into palatable, nutritious, filling meals.

The project sparked to life in the little-known country of Laos sometime in 1999, prompting the withdrawal of food provider Chatwells from the country and ultimately improving both the economic and

Message from the SEC Executives: Dear UTM, throughout the year we’ve received submissions for our Sex & Relationship column that we haven’t answered because they weren’t related to sex. However, in light of the April Fools edition we’ve decided to answer them.

Dear SEC, I love clam chowder! I mean really. It’s just fantastic.

However, there aren’t too many places in Mississauga where you can get really good clam chowder.

What should I do?

I’m not sure if clam chowder is supposed to be a metaphor for something else, but if we’re talking strictly clam chowder, I feel your pain; good clam chowder is hard to come by. There are really only a couple of things I can suggest: 1) Find yourself an excellent clam chowder recipe and make your own. Perhaps you will create the ultimate clam chowder and help many others who find themselves in your current situation.

2) Lucy’s Seafood Kitchen. I’ve never tried their clam chowder but it’s a pretty fantastic seafood restaurant. Hopefully this helps you out and if it doesn’t maybe you should lower your clam chowder standards.

My boyfriend really likes to chew gum when he’s going down on me. I don’t know why but it’s just something he’s into. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve gotten gum stuck in my pubic

population issues previously rampant across the South-east Asian nation.

“Thanks to GTF, Laotian natives see no need to pay Chatwells for overpriced food anymore,” recounts a starry-eyed Jamazon. “At the beginning people were a little repulsed by the smell of the recycled food, but we’ve worked pretty hard at eliminating this problem. We trust UTM students will have no complaints.”

“At the beginning people were a little repulsed by the smell of the recycled food, but we’ve worked pretty hard at eliminating this problem. We trust UTM students will have no complaints.”

In a research project that took him across the Himalayan Mountains to the NDP headquarters in Beijing, GTF’s co-founder Dr. James Boolshfit encountered many possible answers to the worldwide issue of

famine.

“The idea came to me when I noticed all the food that students dump in the bin when they clear their plates. I was a bit taken aback, because it is precious food after all, and then it got me thinking – how could we reuse this food?” explains Dr. Boolshfit, who is also the head chemical engineer of the GTF project.

A month later, Dr. Boolshfit ran into Jamazon while on a camel-riding expedition in Sanaa, Yemen. The two brainstormed over the idea of turning garbage into food, and came up with several viable scenarios and ideas.

“We presented our ideas to David [Sukuzi], who was my roommate at Dartmouth, and he basically ironed out the concept with concrete proposals of how to go about launching the programme,” recounts Dr. Boolshfit, who also added that Sukuzi provided both him and Jamzaon with enough petty cash to set the wheels in motion.

“After the success in Laos, we knew the next best place [to implement GTF] was at a university with a reputation for over-priced and lacklustre food options,” explained Jamazon.

Enter UTM.

Late last year, Boolshfit and Jamazon began negotiating with University administration and the UTM Student Union over the launch of the project. The two of them spent months scheming inside Mike’s hotdog stand after Mike had left for home every evening.

“Getting UTM management to pass the project was a bit difficult,” reminisces Jamazon with a hint of a smile.

“But once they tried GTF beer, they were converts.”

The GTF venture has not gone without naysayers. Sceptics point to rumours of food poisoning, and the website, “GTFstinks.org” displays some gruesome pictures of Laotian natives who reportedly released worms from their nostrils after eating GTF products. However, the two founders have since refuted each and every negative claim.

“The so-called reports are nothing but nonsense,” maintains Dr. Boolshfit. “GTF products are perfectly safe. I even feed them to my wife.”

As far as UTM is concerned, the sceptics have so far lost the battle.

When the first GTF samples were handed out on campus, students

devoured them before asking for more. “It tastes better than anything I’ve eaten on campus,” said Raji Aujla, a fourth-year political science student, as she wolfed two pounds of GTF macaroni.

“I can’t believe all the money I’m going to save this way,” commented Marc Cerulli, a fifth-year Biology major, as he slurped up a cup of GTF noodle soup.

Given the overwhelming success on campus, the GTF project will open a permanent locale next Monday in the North Building where UTMSU volunteers will hand out GTF samples.

“Getting UTMSU behind our project was a big thing,” says Jamazon.

“It took some time, but when we explained we would help them campaign with their elections, they decided to go along.”

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hair and I’ve had to shave it off. I hate not having pubic hair though. Any advice?

That sounds like a sticky situation.

My immediate thought is to speak to your boyfriend about switching to breathe mints. They have the same minty sensation and they’re less likely to get stuck in inconvenient places. If that doesn’t work out, there are always options less extreme than shaving all your pubic hair off. I mean, people get gum caught in their hair all the time (the kind on your head) and if their immediate reaction were to shave it off we would have a lot more bald people walking around.

I recommend using peanut butter to get the gum out, or anything oilbased, i.e. Vaseline, etc. That should do the trick.

I hear mullets are making a comeback. Are they? And if they are, do you think I should get one?

I have no idea if you should get a mullet. But I will say this, I’m pretty sure they aren’t making a comeback which means that you probably shouldn’t get one (unless you happen to be either Tegan or Sara).

If you have any questions for the sex column, please send them to sex.column. @utmsec.ca

Architecture Nature People Campus Life $100.00 for the winner of each category submit entries to mediumonline.ca/photocontest

photos must be 200 dpi and at least 1600 pixels x 1600 pixels all students must submit a name, student number, and telephone number.

Contest Rules: Entrants must be current students at UTM and may not be part of The F^]bnf l ^]bmhkbZe [hZk] hk [hZk] h_ ]bk^\mhkl' Lmn]^gml fnlm ln[fbm Z gZf^% lmn]^gm number, and telephone number with entries. A maximum of five entries per person and no more then two per category is allowed. All entries must be original work. Entries will be assigned a number for anonymous judging. All decisions by the judges will be final.

Late entries will not be accepted.

MONDAY, MARCH

Ode to Wade on his road to the MVP The Miami Heat have certainly thrived under Dwayne Wade’s mile stone season; fans should recognize him as the most important figure in the game this season

Japan with illegitimate win at WBC It seems it’s not only the MLB having an issue with unnatural player enhancing substances. Last week, several members of Team Japan from the World Baseball Classic were caught for taking a player performance substance called “hiroshima ata,” a concentrated glucose pill taken every three hours to increase the player’s senses during their “adrenaline rush,” a time when the heart pumps blood at a speed 1.98 times faster than the normal flow.

MLB staff found bottles of the drug inside the Japanese locker room and then interrogated a group of players – all of whom remained unnamed at this point – after their victorious champi onship game against Korea last week.

“We will commence [our actions] by placing an asterisk in the record books; the cost is too large to change participants,” said Commissioner Bud Selig in response to the affair. “Sometimes you catch’ em and sometimes you don’t. What can ya do?”

ANDREW TYSIAK ASSITANT SPORTS EDITOR A few months ago, the National Basketball League (NBA) MVP race was stuck in a tight race between two obvious choices, LeBron James and Kobe Bryant.

Now, deep into the NBA season, a surprise candidate has emerged from an injury riddled 2007-08 season. Is Dwayne Wade a legitimate candidate for MVP? Last season, the Miami Heat finished with a league worst 15-67 win-loss record. Halfway through a horrible season, Wade felt that it was in the best interests of the team to shut down his playing time completely to undergo OssaTron treatment on his ailing left knee.

At the time, the Heat seemed to be spiraling down from their peak of winning the NBA title in 2006.

The team lacked the depth and talent to help alleviate the pressures put on their franchise player Wade.

The future looked as bleak as the present.

Fast forwarding to the beginning of this season, after undergoing months o f r eh ab ilita tio n , Wad e delivered a message to the media and to all his fans – “I’m ready to go.” He sure convinced everybody through his performance during the 2008 Olympics where he led the USA National team in scoring, even while he was coming off the bench during the start of the tournament.

Despite his obvious resurgence, critics still questioned his team’s depth and talent early on this season. However, they overcame the odds stacked against them and the Heat are now fighting for home court advantage in a playoffs – something thought of as “too high” on their list of expectations this season.

Once again, is Wade the MVP for the 2008-2009 regular season? Yes he is.

First off, his personal stats alone propel him above any other MVP candidates including both Bryant and James. His 29.9 points, 5.1 rebounds, and 7.5 assists per game exceed the statistics of his two main counterparts. James is currently averaging 28.5 points, 7.6 rebounds, and 7.3 assists; while Bryant is averaging 27.6 points, 5.4 rebounds and 4.9 assists. Wade is

30, 2009 THE MEDIUM 9

EPL’s Sunderland F.C signs Toronto native Ali Kasim It was announced on Saturday that English Premier League’s Sunderland F.C signed Toronto native and University of Toronto Mississauga student, Ali Kasim for 1.1 million pounds.

He will be scheduled to join the team in England sometime next week and go straight into the reserve squad.

Kasim joined the Canadian circuit only fours ago and surpassed all prospects with his excellent performances for the University of Toronto varsity team.

Raptors re sign Kapono to new five year deal photo/google.images

Wade taking the ball up court and now a NBA icon with an incredible comeback campaign and his best season yet. outscoring and assisting both James and Bryant and is also averaging more rebounds than Bryant. Wade also averages more steals and blocks. He is not only an offensive presence, he is now feared while guarding the Heat’s paint.

The milestones and records he has reached this season have not g o n e u n n o t i c e d . O n Janu ary 23 against the Raptors, Wade became the second player in NBA history to tally at least 40 points, 10 assists and five blocked shots in a game since Alvan Adams in the 1976–77 season. Following the All-Star game, Wade recorded a career high 50 points on 56.6 per cent shooting and added 5 rebounds and 5 assists in a game against the Orlando Magic. The following game, Wade recorded a career-high 16 assists and added 31 points and 7 rebounds in a 103–91 win against the Detroit Pistons. Wade became the second player to record 15 or more assists after scoring at least 50 points since Wilt Chamberlain in 1968. He also secured his fifth consecutive all star appearance.

What’s more important is his role on the team and what he contributes as a leader. He’s not looking for his own glory but a team effort to possibly take them to another championship.

Wade is attributed to the obstacles that his team has overcome thus far this season. Out of the three

main candidates, Wade clearly has the worst supporting staff as Bryant and James are surrounded with the arguably the best bench-depth in the NBA. Many of the bench players on those respective teams can probably attain starting positions on most of the other teams in the league. Wade is able to lead a fairly young, inexperienced team that lacks notable talent and depth into a comfortable playoff position.

Where would the Miami Heat be without Wade this season? They would be out of the playoff picture.

As for the other candidates, as important as they are to their respective teams, without them their teams might at least be able to secure a playoff spot considering the amount of depth and talent both the teams possess all around. Would they be conference leading teams?

Probably not. But they would likely be playoff bound at least.

MVP stands for Most Valuable Player. That means the player which is the most valuable to their team and franchise. Nowhere in that definition does it state the player with the most points or the player with the most popularity.

Although Wade is amongst the top in the league stats-wise, it comes down to the value and impact he has had on the Heat this season. Understanding this, it would be hard to vote against Wade.

Some of us enjoyed his presence and some of us loathed him, but Jason Kapono and GM Bryan Colangelo have agreed on a new five year deal worth $35 million.

The new contract cancels Kapono’s existing contract which includes a player option. The new contract also includes a new “no trade” clause.

"I believed Kapono was a true force this season and I want to continue his legacy with the team," said Colangelo after their win against the Chicago Bulls on Sunday. “He is a prime leader for the organization.”

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