Many churches struggle to have leaders . . . or maybe I should say true leaders. There is no shortage of people who wear the badge. We have preachers, elders, deacons, trustees, superintendents, and committee chairman. Are you ready for a moment of truth? Just how many of those spots are occupied by true leaders? So, what is a true leader?
I love leadership definitions. I once heard a great quote from an army general who said, “Leadership is taking people to a place they would never have gone to by themselves.” There’s the problem! Without a true leader, a church won’t go anywhere. The people wearing the badge are dug in and defending their ground. Another author wrote a statement defining a true leader saying, “Leaders lead!” Many churches are stalled because they have plenty of people called leaders filling roles established years ago for the right reason, but remaining for one purpose: to maintain what already exists.
Someone’s definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Churches that
resist change are staring down the barrel of their own mortality. Church communities that resist change become more irrelevant as businesses, jobs, and populations move out, creating decline. The church that doesn’t embrace change stands to suffer the same fate as the community it serves. The changes so desperately needed require a true leader to help the church bring them to pass.
Where There Is No Vision
Without a leader casting a vision, a church can find itself in turbulent waters. We’ve all heard the King James Version of Proverbs 29:18 quoted in discussions of vision, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” The New International Version translates this, “Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint.” Consider the word restraint. We usually see it as a negative word, but its use here suggests that when we forget why we’re doing something, it no longer restrains us. Restraint is a good thing when it holds us to what we’ve pledged to do.
We are restrained by our Master to fulfill his Great Commandment and Great Commission.
Paul embraced this concept of restraint by calling himself a doulos, a Greek word meaning “a slave for life and a slave by choice.” When our model becomes ineffective, we must remember that we are restrained to his mission. With so many years without change in the history books, we can become restrained to the wrong things and forget the reason we exist. Tradition has replaced mission in many churches. A visionary leader calls attention to the changes so desperately needed to keep the mission primary. The book of Judges gives us a sobering commentary on what happens when God’s people are leaderless. The book ends with this passage, “In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as he saw fit.”
Even with a true leader, churches are still looking at turbulent waters. Visionary leaders face an uphill battle even in healthy environments. Actions that move the church to change are seldom comfortable. Change means moving away from the place where you are. This is almost never easy. Policies and structures will be adjusted or abandoned. Key positions will be established while others will be replaced or removed.
Change is best served in healthy times, but the institutional inertia and the success of years gone by prompt existing leaders to consider that if it isn’t broken, why fix it? By the time many churches find the stomach to change, they are pretty far gone. Like a terminal cancer patient, they are willing to grasp for life with experimental treatments. In How the Mighty Fall, Jim Collins discusses the downward spiral that leads once successful businesses to capitulation and death. His research shows that in an effort to reverse the fall, companies make sweeping changes. By the time they make these changes, however, they are over leveraged in the opposite direction and not healthy enough to manage the massive changes.
Change is best accomplished in small increments. Driving on a straight road requires constant corrections at the wheel. It may seem that you’re going straight, but careful examination reveals a long line of small corrections. By contrast, most of us have been distracted while driving only to be frantically forced into a major
correction and a very dangerous situation. Big change divided into lots of smaller, more manageable adjustments is a healthy strategy for churches.
The Rate of Change
A Harvard professor defined leadership this way; “Leadership is making people uncomfortable at a rate that they can tolerate.” What does this mean for a true leader? If you’re in a church that wants to change, do you have the patience for it? If you’re thinking about going to a church and implementing change, consider what already exists.
Sometimes pastors have the same logic a spouse in a bad marriage has. They think, “After we’re married, I’ll get him or her to change that behavior.” That’s a bad thing to bet your marriage or your career on. When interviewing with a church, find out what is on and off the table. Make an assessment of what is needed before you say “yes” and have a frank discussion about specifics with existing leaders. “Can we get rid of the pews, the pulpit, the choir loft, the choir, the choir director, the organ, the organist, the order of worship, the Communion table? What about the by-laws? Existing leaders will talk a great game about their desire for growth, but when specific changes are discussed, you’ll get more honest answers. Like an empty canvas, the absence of established traditions grants a freedom to explore edgy styles and methods.
Sam Chand wrote an incredible book called Leadership Pain. In it, he shows the connection between growth and pain. To summarize, there is no growth without change, no change without loss, and no loss without pain. So, our ability to grow is directly related to our ability to endure pain. Leaders are change agents that move their church in the direction of growth, helping them to overcome the pain of it.
@_jerryharris /jerrydharris
CHRISTIAN STANDARD
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THREE HABITS FOR MINISTRY TODAYAND A PLACE TO LEARN THEM
Ben Chachiaras
DISCOURAGED IN MINISTRY? 10 IDEAS FROM RENEW.ORG
David Vaughan 36 FACING THE CHANGING FACE OF CULTURE
Jeff Vines
52 THE FUEL THAT IGNITES UNBEARABLE STRESS
Clayton Hentzel 58 AVOIDING A MOUNT CARMEL MELTDOWN
62 THE UNCOMMON FAMILY
Daniel McCoy 68 STAYING STRONG IN MINISTRY
72 FIGHTING FOR THE UNCHURCHED
Trevor Littleton
78 NEVER THE SAME
Steve Yeaton
Tyler McKenzie 14-15 METRICS Solutions for Ministry Stress
Modern Israel and the Church
Laura McKillip Wood HORIZONS
Ken Idleman and Alan Ahlgrim 2-3 from the publisher 6-7 from the Editor 12-13 e 2: EFFECTIVE ELDERS When "Your All" Isn't Enough Dr. Curtis McGinnis ENGAGE
Dedication to a Challenge
Rudy Hagood INTENTIONAL 22-23 PREACH
From Conflict to Connection: Handing Over the Anger in Our Marriages
Chris Philbeck 26-27
The Power of Repetition
Kent E. Fillinger 30-31
Walk a Little Farther
David Faust
The Challenge and Hope of Vocational Minsitry
This issue of Christian Standard looks at several critical challenges Christian leaders face and some of the ministries that exist to help them overcome those challenges.
The impetus behind the theme is a report issued by Barna Research published in the spring of 2022 titled, “Ministry Challenges, By Pastors Who Have Considered Quitting.” (See related article at: https://www.barna.com/ research/pastors-quitting-ministry/.) The articles you’ll read in this issue consider the challenges and point to ministries among our churches that provide encouragement, direction, and support for Christian leaders who face them.
Adding to the present political turmoil, local church leaders and missionaries around the world face rapidly changing social, moral, and sexual standards. No wonder many respondents to the survey cited “current political divisions” as a reason they were considering leaving the ministry. Others simply said, “I don’t feel respected by the congregants.” In Facing the Changing Face of Culture, Karl Halverson, executive director of Literature
and Teaching Ministries and president of College Press Publishing Company, shows us how several ministries (LATM and College Press, along with the International Conference on Missions, Pioneer Bible Translators, Fellowship of Associates of Medical Evangelism, and LifeLine Christian Mission) are helping church leaders guide their congregations through the present cultural maze.
Nearly one-fourth of survey respondents cited, “My church is steadily declining” as one of their great challenges. With many church leaders leaving the ministry in their first five years of service, what can be done to help young ministers begin well and develop good habits that can lead to successful ministry? In Three Habits for Ministry Today—and a Place to Learn Them, Ben Cachiaras, senior pastor of Mountain Christian Church (Joppa, Maryland) and representing Spire Network, shares three key ministry habits that help us put our focus where it really belongs—on following Jesus.
Building on the same topic, Daniel McCoy, editorial director for Renew.org, suggests specific ways leaders can
combat discouragement in ministry in Discouraged in Ministry? 10 Ideas from Renew.org.
Fifty six percent of ministers who responded to the Barna survey considered quitting because of “the immense stress of the job.” In The Fuel That Ignites Unbearable Stress, Jeff Vines, lead pastor of ONE&ALL Church (San Dimas, California) opens our eyes to the things that create stress in ministry. Reflecting on his personal experience with stress and burnout, Jeff points us to the right questions to ask and to the truth that sustains us.
Nearly half of surveyed ministers considered leaving the ministry because they felt lonely and isolated. In that light, how can church leaders develop the kind of personal relationships and support systems to sustain and encourage them in ministry? David Vaughan, president of D. Vaughan Consulting and ministry coach with Christian Church Leadership Network, points to key factors that can lead to a feeling of isolation in ministry and provides a clear path forward in, Avoiding a Mount Carmel Meltdown.
Many church leaders in the survey considered leaving the ministry because they felt their role was having a negative impact on their family. Representing Uncommon Men’s Ministry, Clayton Hentzel, lead minister of The Crossing (Quincy, Illinois), offers seven guidelines for leading effectively while still caring for our spouses and children in The Uncommon Family
Many survey respondents agreed with the statement, “I don’t feel equipped to cope with ministry demands. To address this concern, we called on two veteran church leaders, Ken Idleman, vice president of leadership development for the Solomon Foundation (Parker, Colorado) and Alan Ahlgrim, administrator for Covenant Connections (Longmont, Colorado). Together they wrote, Staying Strong in Ministry Leadership to help church
leaders rise to the demands of ministry while serving with satisfaction and joy.
The sharp decline we’ve witnessed in our culture’s respect toward the church and the Christian faith has significant impact on vocational ministers. In light of this, many church leaders find themselves spending much time with church members and little time with the unchurched. Trevor Littleton, executive director for Kainos Leadership Network (Solon, Ohio), shows us how leaders can cultivate relationships outside of the church for evangelism and discipleship in Fighting for the Unchurched.
Even as we address the crucial challenges church leaders face, we’re aware that this issue of Christian Standard carries us into the Easter season. To help us focus on Resurrection Sunday and all it represents, we’ve asked Steve Yeaton, senior minister with First Christian Church (Columbus, Indiana), to remind us that Jesus Christ dramatically changes the lives of those who put their trust in him. In Never the Same, Steve looks at the apostle Peter’s post-resurrection encounter with Christ to show us how Jesus brought Peter back into the fold and altered forever the trajectory of his life.
The words challenge and hope describe well the focus of this issue. Ministry can be hard. And discouraging. But we stick with it because of hope—hope in whom we serve, and hope in the work to which he has called us.
@shawn.a.mcmullen
/shawn.a.mcmullen
e 2:effective elders
When did you last cry out to God for help when you sensed your all wasn't enough? Jim Cymbala, in his classic work, Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire, says, “Carol and I had frankly admitted to each other that unless God broke through, the Brooklyn Tabernacle was doomed. We couldn’t finesse it along. We couldn’t organize and market and program our way out.”
As I work with churches across the upper Midwest, I find that churches and their leaders are trying harder and seemingly seeing diminishing returns. Recent data suggest that three-fourths of all churches are plateauing or declining. What can churches do when attendance is declining, pulpits are empty, and apathy is how you would best describe the state of attendees?
WHEN “YOUR ALL” ISN’T ENOUGH
By Dr. Curtis McGinnis
A Lesson from King Asa
King Asa was the third king of the southern kingdom of Judah. He was known for “doing what was good and right in the eyes of the Lord.” His story is found in 2 Chronicles 14-16 and 1 Kings 15. Early in King Asa’s reign, peace ruled the land. When conflict eventually came, “Asa called to the Lord his God and said, ’Lord, there is no one like you to help the powerless against the mighty. Help us, Lord our God, for we rely on you, and in your name we have come against this vast army. Lord, you are our God; do not let mere mortals prevail against you’” (2 Chronicles 14:11, New International Version).
Asa started his reign depending on God and did what was right in the eyes of the Lord. But as his victories mounted and his kingdom expanded, so did his pride. He began believing he could win by his strength, strategy, and skill and forgot to rely on God. “Because you relied on the king of Aram and not on the Lord your God, the army of the king of Aram has escaped from your hand” (2 Chronicles 16:7). As Asa continued to grow older, he only became more defiant and reliant on his abilities and those of men. He continued to cast aside God who had helped him in the early years of his reign. “In the thirty-ninth year of his reign Asa was afflicted with a disease in his feet. Though his disease was severe, even in his illness he did not seek help from the Lord, but only from the physicians” (2 Chronicles 16:12).
One of the great dangers of the modern church is that we have come to rely on our thinking, strength, wit, and skill and believe we can strategize, market, and promote our way out of the place in which
we and our churches find ourselves. But could it be that, like King Asa, God is waiting for us to turn and look to him? The words expressed to King Asa ring in my ear: “For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” (2 Chronicles 16:9).
Applying the Lesson from Asa
With a solid base and reliance on God, here are a few practical ideas to get you thinking about how to apply the lesson from King Asa.
Pray and fast. This should go without saying, but again, it is too easy to look past. David Roadcup and Michael Eagle wrote an excellent book titled, Prayer and Fasting: Moving with the Spirit to Renew our Minds, Bodies, and Churches. This book could serve as a great primer for what God wants to do in and through you and your church.
“
Recent data suggest that three-fourths of all churches are plateauing or declining.
Collaborate with other churches. Find another local Christian church and gather the elder teams for prayer, study, encouragement, and collaboration. Don’t let your autonomy and independence lead to isolation from other brothers and sisters in Christ. We have observed churches beginning to collaborate in Wisconsin and Minnesota, and the churches are better for it because they need each other and are better together.
Seek outside help. Groups like the one I lead (Crossroads Church Partners) and e2 have wonderful resources to serve and come alongside congregations. Don’t be too proud to ask for help; we each have different gifts and skills to help serve the body of Christ.
Serve your community. Find and create a niche ministry. Find the neediest group far from God and build a ministry/mission to serve them! Karl Vaters talks about a small, aging congregation that began to be known for providing funeral meals. Through their efforts, they were able to engage and reach their community in ways they never imagined.
As you look to God for help, you will be amazed at how he breaks through and reveals ways for you and your church to advance his kingdom on earth, as it is in heaven.
about the author
Curtis McGinnis serves as the Executive Director of Crossroads Church Partners and on the coaching bench for e2: effective elders.
Modern Israel and the Church
By Tyler McKenzie
I f you’re like me, you’re struggling to know how to think biblically about modern Israel and their military conflicts. Does the Bible say we must always support them? What are the relevant Bible verses that people cite here? Is this war a sign of the end times?
Recently I conducted an online interview with New Testament scholar, and my dear friend, Dr. Jon Weatherly to get his unique perspective on this subject.
Q: For those struggling to understand, what is the reason American Christians insist that our government support modern Israel?
First let me say I’m not an expert on the current religious situation or its modern history. As a New Testament scholar, my expertise is elsewhere. Here I’m an interested observer.
Broadly I think American Christians insist on pro-Israel policy because they’re heirs of a history of enthusiasm for Zionism. This is the movement to reestablish a Jewish state in the territory where Israel settled in the Bible. That enthusiasm was probably grounded partly in the desire to make amends for the terrible history of antisemitism in Europe, often supported and sometimes instigated by the church, and culminating horribly in the Holocaust.
Tied to this Zionism was a hope that the resettlement of the Israelite homeland by modern Jews would somehow trigger a wave of evangelism across the Middle East. Christians for centuries have been troubled by the way Islam has dominated the lands of the Bible, where Christianity had once flourished. Many believed a revival of Christian faith in the region would precede the return of Christ. Some saw the establishment of the modern state of Israel in 1948 as the specific precondition of Christ’s return.
It is also a misappropriation of the first half of God’s covenant with Abraham in Genesis 12:3, “I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse.” For many, this means God expects them to be unconditionally supportive of the descendants of Abraham, whom they equate with the modern state of Israel. Some will even say God gives eternal salvation to individuals on the basis of their faith in Christ, but he grants a blessing to whole nations according to their treatment of Israel. Some cite Matthew 25:31–46 in this regard, seeing the judging of “nations” (v. 32) not as all the world’s peoples being judged individually but as each nation in aggregate standing before the divine judge, and “the least of these my brothers and sisters” (vv. 40, 45) as Jews or more specifically Israeli Jews whom the faithful serve.
For now, I’ll simply say this view is hard to square with the context of these passages and with a God who
doesn’t treat people differently according to their ethnic identity (Acts 10:34–35). Jesus’ family is all humanity in one sense (Luke 3:23–38), all who believe in Jesus in another (Luke 8:19–21).
Q: To be clear, is Israel still a chosen people who have rights to a special place? Is the covenant permanently binding? Or is this replacement theology?
I think the Bible is clear on this, but it’s tricky to express clearly because history has left us with so much baggage. So I’ll try to set the history and frame my response to the question.
As I noted, the history of Christianity carries a legacy of antisemitism. One of the ways this was expressed is the idea that when the crowd in Jerusalem called for Jesus’ death, Israel as a nation forfeited its status as God’s people, and so God turned to the Gentiles, who by faith in Jesus “replaced” Israel and were granted the status as God’s chosen. This is a pernicious, unbiblical idea with just enough truth and plausibility mixed in to sound convincing.
In reaction to that bad notion, many substitute the idea of an unconditional covenant between God and Israel, unconditional meaning nothing any human does can alter it. A few extend this even to eternal salvation, but for most it means Israel is still “chosen” for a special place on the map and in world affairs. Their claim to the land is taken as permanently binding, and their status as God’s chosen is taken as requiring others to give them deference.
The problem here, I think, is failing to see how God made an “eternal” covenant with Israel. The Bible’s emphasis is always on God fulfilling his promise to bless humanity with life even though humanity has chosen rebellion and death. God repeatedly points out human failure, including especially biblical Israel’s failure, but always goes on to affirm he will bring his unmerited blessing in fulfillment of his covenant with Israel. And the New Testament is unequivocal: Jesus fulfills that promise entirely. There are no other bits to be fulfilled, side deals for land or regional hegemony for a particular tribe. All God’s promises to Israel have reached fulfillment in Christ, especially in his death and resurrection but also in his present rule from heaven and his future rule when he returns to restore all things.
So, is the covenant permanently binding? Yes, in that God did not abandon the promise because of anyone’s unfaithfulness. Does this mean Israel has a permanent right to the land it was given? No, that mistakes what the covenant was about. It’s about blessing all through the one true Israelite.
Note well: it may have been a reasonable idea to create a new Jewish state of Israel after the Holocaust. It may be a decent idea to support that modern nation diplomatically and militarily. We just shouldn’t confuse those with fulfillment of God’s plan in the Bible.
Q: How should we treat modern Israel and devout Jews today?
At one level this is easy. Whether we perceive someone as neighbor or enemy, Jesus calls us to love that person. We love everybody, no exceptions, because God loves everybody.
Love is not the same as endorsement, however. If someone is doing something destructive to self or others, love seeks to intervene, protect, and correct. That takes innumerable forms, depending on the situation and our resources. We may have very different opinions on what it looks like to love the modern nation of Israel today. We should examine those opinions closely, exercise humility about our own grasp of the situation, do what we can and learn to live within the limits of our power and knowledge.
For Jews today, devout and otherwise, with whom we have contact, we need again to act with love. This means respect, compassion, understanding, listening: just what we would want from someone who views God differently from us. Paul said the heritage of Israel was of great and permanent value (Romans 3:1–2). If we are Gentile Christians, we need to realize nearly all our biblical heroes are Israelites, including Jesus, and we need to remember the early church had an enormous number of Jewish believers in Jesus (Acts 21:20). Many of our Jewish neighbors and many Israeli Jews are descendants of Holocaust survivors, and all are descendants of those who suffered under antisemitic abuse over many centuries. And many experience antisemitism too frequently even now. We can surely summon an extra measure of compassion for members of a people who have suffered so long and horribly.
Loving people includes introducing them to Jesus. But let’s not jump immediately to the Romans Road in our conversations. The privilege to introduce a Jewish friend to the true seed of Abraham needs to be earned with a lot of sincere love in the foundation of the relationship.
about the author
Tyler McKenzie serves as lead pastor at Northeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky.
horizons
Dedication to a Challenge
By Laura McKillip Wood
Twelve-year-old Mariam (the names in this column have been changed) and her large Southeast Asian family struggle to survive during the country’s economic crisis; her father is unemployed. Even though he goes out each morning to find work for the day, he often comes back with only a stale piece of bread for dinner. He loves all his children, but he began to consider selling his daughter Mariam in marriage, believing it to be the best chance of survival for the family as a whole. Mariam felt scared and hopeless about her future.
Then she learned about courses available through a nongovernmental organization (NGO) run by a man named Abraham. If she could take the courses, she would learn skills that would help her family. She had little education and felt afraid she would not understand the coursework, but she surprised herself with what she was able to learn. She started to believe she could continue to learn and hopes eventually she will be allowed to get a job. Sadly, this is currently not an option in her country, but Mariam dreams of the day she will be free to earn money. Seeing her accomplishments, her family realized she could do what a boy could, something many families do not believe about girls. She also began teaching her siblings what she was learning. Through a food assistance program run by the NGO, Mariam’s family received food that relieved some of their worries. For now, Mariam has been spared the fate of so many child brides in her country.
A Hard Place to Be a Girl
In Mariam’s Muslim home country, people deal with poverty daily, and women and girls live under many restrictions. As Abraham’s wife, Faith, says, “It is one of the most difficult countries to be a woman.” She goes on to explain that girls often get married very young and do not have educational opportunities. She further states, “Our work helps provide more opportunities for girls, with the support of their families and communities.”
Not only does the NGO educate girls, it also provides clean water in communities. Much of the population does not have access to clean water, and waterborne illnesses continue to be a leading cause of death in children under the age of five. “We provide clean water within communities and make it possible for families to meet their daily water needs without walking long distances in the harsh climate,” Faith explains. The recent economic decline in this Southeast Asian country has also made it difficult for most of the population to find enough to eat, so the NGO has begun a new food aid project that helps meet people’s needs.
A Dedication to God
Abraham and Faith both grew up in the Midwest, and both attended Bible colleges. Faith studied accounting, but she
graduated unsure of what to do next. A friend encouraged her to take a mission trip, and she decided to go to Asia to teach English to college students for a few months. She returned and started working in the home office of the organization she had traveled with. It was there that Faith met Abraham, who was also praying about what to do after his upcoming college graduation. His friend was planning a summer internship to a Muslim country, and he asked Abraham to pray that more people would join the team. As Abraham prayed, he realized God was answering his prayer about what to do after graduation by leading him to the summer internship. That internship was the first of many trips to other Muslim nations. He developed a love for one Southeast Asian country in particular.
When Faith met Abraham, she had little understanding of the Muslim world. She saw Abraham had a strong desire to minister to these countries, though, and she began to learn that the reality of life in Southeast Asia was much different from what the news portrayed. She saw how Abraham naturally connected with people from this area of the world, and it became clear to her that if she were to start a relationship with him, she should first be sure that God was also calling her to minister in Southeast Asia. She began to see that same direction in her life, and she now says, “God has given us both a deep love and compassion for our beloved Southeast Asian nation, and despite the many hardships we have faced, we have not been able to look away from both their suffering and the privilege of relationships.”
Clear Direction
Goals and Flexibility
Faith and Abraham’s goal is to work with communities to empower them to enhance the lives of their members. As Faith says, “Much of their situation is the result of injustice, and as Christians, we believe it is our calling to do what we can to restore these broken places.” Their work provides jobs for local people who then bring about positive change in their communities. “It is also our personal goal to stay present to a nation the world has forgotten,” she adds. “This bears witness to the fact that God has not forgotten them. He is there with them in their suffering.” Abraham and Faith have learned through the years that although goals are good to make, they must be fluid since things often go in unexpected directions. Faith says, “With this mentality, we have seen God do more than we could ask or imagine.”
If you would like to contact Faith and Abraham, email them at abrahamandfaith03@gmail.com
“ Faith and Abraham’s goal is to work with communities to empower them to enhance the lives of their members.
During the first few years of marriage, Faith and Abraham traveled to Southeast Asia several times, worked to prepare their sending churches, and gained further training. When they were prepared to live fulltime in Southeast Asia, God gave the couple an opportunity they had not expected in a city they had not visited. They began praying for discernment. One day, they were walking along the beach praying about what they should do, when they came upon a full-size, intact conch shell. The shell reminded them of God’s promises, provision, and love for them. Shortly after, they made the move with their children to the Southeast Asian country they had been contemplating. They spent a few years learning language and familiarizing themselves with the NGO, which worked in community development projects in the country. When they were finally established, Abraham assumed the role of director of the organization.
about the author
/laura.wood2
@woodlaura30
@woodlaura30
lauramckillipwood.com
lauramckillipwood@gmail.com
Laura McKillip Wood, former missionary to Ukraine, now serves as bereavement coordinator and palliative care chaplain at Children's Hospital and Medical Center in Omaha, Nebraska. She and her husband, Andrew, have three teenagers.
By Rudy Hagood intentional
When Osharye and I were first trained to counsel married couples, the most significant concept I walked away with was this: Conflict is the tunnel to intimacy. When I first heard the statement I thought, This guy is crazy! Yet, the presenter stood there in an unassuming way and simply explained, “You went through conflict to get to anger, withdrawal, or passivity; and you will have to go back through conflict to return to intimacy.”
From Conflict to Connection: Handing Over the Anger in Our Marriages
He was talking about something far greater than the peace of avoiding arguments or the compliance of simply getting along. Neither was he referring to the rut of religion where we stay in our groove and hold on to the sacred titles of “wife” and “husband,” but miss the power and passion those words imply—words that remind us that the church is the bride of Christ. The apostle John wrote, “And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband” (Revelation 21:2, English Standard Version).
Both John and the marriage instructor describe a relationship where we not only avoid divorce, we continue to like, love, and go from conflict to connection. Jesus endured the conflict of the cross to create an eternal connection. According to Paul, Christian marriages illustrate to the world the powerful relationship between Christ and the church, his bride. Paul referred to this profound truth when he wrote, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:32).
In the presence of unresolved anger, many couples enter a stage where they love one another but no longer like each other.
Pinpointing the Problem
Often, the problem isn’t a specific sin, mistake, or minor quirk in our spouse. Instead, the problem is in how we handle anger—the way we manage the inevitable sins, mistakes, and idiosyncrasies of our human condition. Anger is an inevitable part of any relationship, but it doesn’t have to be destructive. By understanding why anger erupts, how it is expressed, and the elegance of communication, we can transform disagreements into vehicles that transport us through the tunnel of conflict and back to the intimacy our marriages are designed to house.
Let’s explore common triggers for anger, various expressions of anger, and the role of communication in resolving conflict.
Common Triggers of Anger
Through counseling, I’ve observed four common catalysts for anger in marriages.
• Clunky Pasts. “Why do we keep talking about the same thing?” This phrase signals a clunky past— unresolved or weakly discussed conflicts that resurface during disagreements, intensifying anger on both sides.
• Clashing Priorities. For example, one spouse values work-life balance, while the other prioritizes career advancement over family time. Over time, resentment builds and anger is triggered.
• Carefree “Personing.” Yes, I made up that word! Personing is the practice of acknowledging someone’s humanity. Carefree Personing happens when we forget the personhood of our spouse—when we’re careless about making them feel appreciated or we neglect their emotional needs.
• Conflicted Parenting. Parenting differences are inevitable. Unequal childcare responsibilities and differing styles can lead to frustration unless couples find mutual agreement and strategies for balancing these disparities.
Distinguishing Expressions of Anger
How anger is handled can either damage or strengthen intimacy in marriage.
• Internalized Anger. Suppressing emotions to avoid conflict may seem helpful, but it often leads to emotional distance or physical symptoms like stress.
• Ignited Anger. Outbursts, yelling, or name-calling can inflict lasting emotional scars.
• Insightful Anger. This form of anger allows room for both sides to be heard. Insightful anger fuels constructive expression. It highlights problems and motivates solutions. Paul described it best: “Be angry and do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26).
Communication’s Power in Conflict Resolution
How do we move from withdrawal and anger to intimacy?
• Prayer as Passion. Seeking God daily is key to Christian conflict resolution. Why? Because conflict in marriage is not just between husband and wife; it’s also between Savior and servant. Christ is included in our vows.
• Vulnerability as Victory. Sharing how we feel without fear of judgment reignites intimacy. Using “I” messages instead of “You” messages shifts the focus from accusations to feelings. For example, saying “I felt sad because” rather than “You al-
ways make decisions without me” changes the tone of the conversation.
• Conflict as Collaboration. Disagreements should be viewed as team challenges rather than personal battles. Solve problems together, as a unit.
• Help as Honor. Seeking help is not weakness; it’s wisdom. Counseling, coaching, and seminars can equip couples with tools to handle conflicts and return to intimacy.
Handing It Over
Friends, let us handle conflict with power and precision. Let us intentionally hand over anger in our marriages— first to God in prayer, and then to each other through vulnerability. Marriage is a team sport, so hand that anger over. Why? Because anger distorts our perceptions, making us feel separate from our spouse, even though we vowed to be one. Remember, it is not just husband and wife; Christ is in our marriage vows too. He does not step away when we are angry with one another.
Thoughtfully and prayerfully approaching anger leads us to deeper understanding, trust, and connection. My prayer for you is that your marriage will move from conflict to connection as you hand over your anger to God and to one another.
about the authors
Rudy and Osharye Hagood have seven children and nine grandchildren so far. Osharye is a women’s minister who is also certified as both a life coach and a health coach. Rudy is a college professor with a background in social work. They love being married and love to bless both married and engaged couples.
@rudy.hagood
@rudy_hagood_
The Power of Repetition
By Chris Philbeck
One of the most significant things I learned over the course of more than four decades of preaching in the local church is people don’t need to be taught something new as much as they need to be reminded of what they already know. Samuel Johnson captured that truth when he said, “People need to be reminded more often than they need to be instructed.” The bottom line is building disciples doesn’t happen by telling people the truth one time and then moving on because none of us gets it right the first time. That means it’s not just okay to revisit certain themes over and over again, it’s necessary because what’s repeated gets remembered and what’s remembered gets repeated. If you’re uncertain about that, stop and think about the kind of responses and comments that routinely come from preaching on topics like handling the trials of life, or prayer, or the power of your words, or forgiveness. There’s a reason people often respond to sermons on these topics. They are consistent challenges for all of us which means we need to consistently hear from God about how to respond to the challenge.
We see precedent for repetition in the New Testament. For example, Peter wrote in 2 Peter 1:12-13, “So I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have. I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body.” Those words come right after Peter reminds his readers:
• God had given them everything they needed for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3).
• God had given his great and precious promises so they could participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption of the world (2 Peter 1:4).
• God had given them a spiritual formula to keep from being ineffective and unproductive in their knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ (2 Peter 1:5-8).
Peter made no apology for reminding his readers of things they already knew. Likewise, Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 15:1, “Now brothers and sisters, I want to remind you of the gospel I preached to you, which you received and on which you have taken your stand.” He then went on in 1 Corinthians 15:2-5 to remind them of the fundamentals of the gospel message. Perhaps the early church father John Chrysostom, who served as the Archbishop of Constantinople, captured this truth about repetition best when he spoke these words in one of his sermons, “If therefore you would not have us wearisome or annoying, practice as we preach, exhibit in your actions the subject of our discourses. For we shall never cease discoursing upon these things till your conduct is agreeable to them. And this we do more especially from our concern and affection for you.” In
other words, he refused to stop preaching on a subject until his listeners obeyed the teaching.
Whenever I would put together my preaching calendar for the upcoming year, there were certain things I always tried to include. For example, I wanted to feature verse-by-verse preaching. I wanted to cover what might be called “needs based” topics from a biblical perspective, and I wanted to preach about practical Christian living. Those are a few examples. But whatever kind of series I was involved in, I always wanted to weave fundamental biblical teaching and truth into every sermon no matter how many times we had talked about it before. I did that because people don’t need to be taught something new as much as they need to be reminded of what they already know. In other words, people need repetition.
“Building disciples doesn’t happen by telling people the truth one time and then moving on because none of us gets it right the first time.
Here are two suggestions for helping you embrace repetition in the most powerful way. First, work on finding ways to repeat truth without being repetitive. You can do that when you find different ways of saying the same thing. There are certain things that need to be repeated the same way over and over again—a mission statement, for example. But talking about the power of prayer, trusting God in trials, or the necessity of forgiveness can be shared in multiple ways. In the church my wife and I are attending post-retirement, I’ve not heard any biblical truth I haven’t already heard (or preached myself) before. But my heart has been fed and filled every week.
Second, remember there’s always someone new in the audience. In almost every church there’s an everchanging demographic. So, while many of your people have heard the same truth before, there will always be those who are hearing it for the first time.
There’s power in repetition. I have preached a message series on financial stewardship every year for as long as I can remember. When I retired from full-time ministry this past June, I had many people share with me, either in person or in a card or letter, the impact my preaching had on their lives and family. The one specific topic that was mentioned repeatedly was financial stewardship. And yet I can tell you there were times I agonized over how to say the same thing in a new way. Many times, I was afraid my words were falling on deaf ears due to repetition. But I was wrong because, in the words of Mike Murdock, “Repetition is the persuader of the mind.” So don’t be afraid or anxious about reminding people of what they already know when you get up to preach because what’s repeated gets remembered and what’s remembered gets repeated.
about the author
Chris Philbeck is retired senior pastor of Mount Pleasant Christian Church In Greenwood, Indiana. He served in full-time ministry for more than four decades.
www.stepintoscripture.com
Solutions for Ministry Stress
By Kent E. Fillinger
The Barna 2024 State of Pastors Summit reported that one-third of pastors had given real, serious consideration to quitting full-time ministry in the last year. The top two reasons cited were “the immense stress of the job” (56%) and “feeling lonely and isolated” (43%).
The State of Pastors Summit also noted that almost threefourths of pastors (73%) said they frequently or sometimes felt emotionally or mentally exhausted in the last three months. Sadly, 18 percent of pastors said they had experienced thoughts of suicide or self-harm within the last year.
On a positive note, over half of the pastors surveyed (51%) said they feel more confident about their calling than when they first entered pastoral ministry. Fiftynine percent said they felt very satisfied with their vocation as a pastor and almost half (47%) said they felt very satisfied with the ministry at their current church. Finally, 57 percent said they felt “well-supported” during the past three months, up from 49 percent a year earlier.
In my research to identify the most stressful jobs, I found the O*Net Online database which lists 879 different occupations and rates each one based on its stress tolerance level. Stress tolerance is defined as a job that requires accepting criticism and dealing calmly and effectively with high-stress situations.
They ranked film and video editors first with a stress tolerance of 99. The job of clergy scored 84 on their stress tolerance meter and the least stressful job listed was that of couriers or messengers with a score of 37.
Stress in the First-Century Church
These statistics prompted me to do a quick survey of the book of Acts to identify some of the stressors the disciples and first-century church leaders experienced as they planted churches and shared the gospel.
Some of the stressful situations they encountered were quite serious and severe, such as being arrested and jailed for preaching. Several were beaten and flogged. Stephen and James were killed. Six times it was noted that faithful disciples were chased by murderous, angry mobs.
The earliest preachers in Acts also faced stressors that are still common in ministry today such as threats from church leaders, jealousy, doctrinal disagreements, rumors, lies, staff conflicts, opposition, insults, and racial tension.
Solutions for Stress
The American Institute of Stress offers a variety of assessments, articles, and apps on its website to help people
combat workplace stress. But during my study of stressors in the book of Acts, I stumbled upon a verse that hadn’t previously caught my eye. And I thought it was applicable to help church leaders manage the stressful situations they encounter today.
Following Paul’s conversion, Barnabas brought him to the apostles. They accepted Paul and welcomed him as a preacher of the gospel instead of as a persecutor.
Following this, Acts 9:31 (New Living Translation) says, “The church then had peace throughout Judea, Galilee, and Samaria, and it became stronger as the believers lived in the fear of the Lord. And with the encouragement of the Holy Spirit, it also grew in numbers.”
Living in the Fear of the Lord
The phrase “fear of the Lord” only appears one other time in the New Testament in 2 Corinthians 5:11 when Paul writes, “It is because we know this solemn fear of the Lord that we work so hard to persuade others (to accept the gospel).” It was his fear of God that motivated Paul to preach and reach others for Christ. And Paul sought to persuade others to join him in fearing the Lord so that they too would escape his wrath.
Scott Hafemann wrote, “Fear is the flipside of faith and the gracious gift of God to his people. Only those who know Christ fear losing such a relationship, and it is this fear (the negative motivation), together with the glory of God itself (the positive motivation) that keeps the believer persevering in pleasing God.”
As we seek to have a heart for the lost and broken around us and as we seek to love and reach others with the gospel, we need to remember that the fear of the Lord refers to a deep reverence and awe for God, acknowledging his authority over all things. This fear should lead to a life of obedience and submission to his will. "The fear of the Lord" is living in holy reverence, childlike dependency, and genuine joy in the greatness and goodness of God.
May pastors today experience the same solemn fear and walk in the fear of the Lord as they preach with passion, conviction, and boldness like the apostle Paul.
Walking in the Comfort of the Holy Spirit
We walk in the comfort of the Holy Spirit when we recognize that God has given us a helper to be always at our side in life and in ministry. We are never alone. In Ephesians 3:16, Paul prays that God will empower us with inner strength through his Spirit. Romans 8:26 tells us that the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness.
The presence of the Holy Spirit enabled the early Christians to endure persecution and continue to spread the gospel. The presence of the Holy Spirit within us assures us of God's presence and power within us and the ongoing blessing of the Spirit's encouragement to sustain us even when we face stress in ministry.
May pastors today be reminded of the words of David from Psalm 94:19, “When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.”
The Church Grew in Strength and Numbers
The final theme of Acts 9:31 is the growth of the church. Despite the opposition and persecution, the church continued to grow and expand. This growth was a result of the work of the Holy Spirit in the lives of the believers, as well as their boldness in sharing the message of salvation with others. The growth of the church demonstrates the power of God to overcome obstacles and build his kingdom, even in the face of stress and adversity.
Walking is an ongoing action that denotes progress and growth. The fear of the Lord leads to a life of holiness and obedience, while the comfort of the Holy Spirit brings peace and strength amid trials. These two spiritual qualities enable us to be all God wants us to be as we seek to live out Jesus' mission.
about the author
Kent E. Fillinger serves as president of 3:STRANDS Consulting, Indianapolis, Indiana, and regional vice president (Ohio, Pennsylvania, Michigan) with Christian Financial Resources.
/3strandsconsulting 3strandsconsulting.com
FACING THE CHANGING FACE OF CULTURE
By Karl Halverson
In 2022, Barna Research published a report examining the challenges ministers face who have considered leaving their ministries. The study found that 21% of the ministers felt they were "not respected by the congregants," which led them to seriously consider resigning. Additionally, 38% of the ministers reported having contemplated quitting, citing "current political divisions" as a contributing factor.
The "political divisions" refer to various influential ideologies that have gained traction in recent years. Although, over the past several centuries, these ideologies stayed below the cultural surface, the social, moral, and sexual fabric of the Western world has undergone a significant transformation during that time (see Carl Truman’s The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self ). Rod Dreher highlights this reality in his book, Live Not by Lies, when he writes, "The Original American dream . . . was religious: to establish liberty . . . to worship God as dictated by their consciences." He further explains that in contemporary times, the term American dream has changed to represent wealth and material stability, as well as the freedom to create one's desired life. Ultimately, it is now "defined by the sacred individual—that is, a Self that is fully the product of choice and consent."
At this level, we discover why so many ministers want to quit: it is incredibly challenging to oppose the overwhelming tide of "self," which demands complete autonomy in its choices and consent. This focus on "choice and consent" contributes to the moral and sexual decline we observe not only
in society but also find deeply ingrained in the teachings of many within the church, including those in leadership roles. Who can blame ministers for wanting to leave?
We have not even touched on the difficulty of being a leader among people groups worldwide who have no idea who Jesus is. The organization I lead works closely with leaders in dozens of countries. These leaders work among the 3.44 billion people (42.6% of the world's population) who live under the yoke of atheism, animism, abject materialism, Hinduism, Buddhism, or Islam, with no biblical worldview that affects their cultural decisions (see https://www.joshuaproject.net/). They have never heard the name of Jesus, let alone his power to save. Who could blame the leaders working in these social, moral, and sexual circumstances if they wanted to quit?
What are we to do?
In his book Under the Unpredictable Plant, Eugene Peterson describes the search for this answer as if we were on a journey to find a way to give leaders a "spirituality that is adequate to their vocation." I like Peterson's evaluation of the problem (and this particular book is very much worth the read) and would like to offer some insight into how we might continue to work to help ministry leaders in the U.S. and abroad remain faithful in their vital vocational roles, ensuring ministry leaders in the church worldwide produce deeply rooted kingdom fruit.
SUPPORT
One way to support church leaders worldwide in their ministry vocation is to focus on preparation, ongoing training, and ensuring a smooth transition when they return home.
PREPARATION, TRAINING, AND TRANSITION
One way to support church leaders worldwide in their ministry vocation is to focus on preparation, ongoing training, and ensuring a smooth transition when they return home. TRAIN International is an organization based in Joplin, Missouri that helps over 160 organizations help their missionaries “go prepared and stay effective” by offering pre-field training, ongoing support, and debriefing for missionaries. Some of the organizations they work with are Pioneer Bible Translators, Team Expansion, New International, CMF, and Send International. TRAIN also works with church missions teams to promote long-term health and effectiveness for their on-field missionaries.
TRAIN has found that an effective way to achieve this goal is to catch problems as close to their inception as possible. They use ongoing coaching, which helps with the day-to-day reality of on-field ministry. They also use spiritual direction to help the heart of the missionaries be firmly grounded in Christ. Brian Gibson, TRAIN’s president, pointed out that research based on interviews with TRAIN participants shows that 21 percent of those who were coming off the field would have stayed on if they had had the ongoing care of coaching and spiritual direction. "If we can help them make a small course correction in the midst of a problem, as opposed to making a big correction when they are fed up with being a missionary,” Gibson notes, “many could be saved from quitting."
CONFERENCES AND MINISTRY EVENTS
Something that can be done to support leaders in U.S. ministry and help prevent them from quitting is to provide opportunities for them to attend conferences. While this may seem obvious (even ubiquitous in its mere suggestion), I want to highlight a specific conference: the International Conference on Missions (ICOM). Whether you are familiar with it or not, I believe it to be a crucial conference for U.S. based church leaders as a means to help them gain much-needed ammunition in their fight against the “principalities and powers” trying to drive them from their vocation. I feel this way for the following reasons.
First, ICOM’s exclusive focus on world missions can help to focus U.S. church leaders on the larger context of God’s hand at work worldwide. This can take their eyes off of their own problems and broaden their perspective, one that the author of Hebrews was directing us to when he said, "Remember . . . those who are ill-treated, since you yourselves also are in the body" (Hebrews 13:3, New American Standard Bible). We’ve seen that ministers want to quit because they feel disrespected by their congregations and because of political divisions. What if those ministers were to learn of the perseverance of a Muslim background believer who doesn’t quit though he is persecuted? Or if they got to know a brother who ministers faithfully in a social system with 68 different political parties? Could it be that they would gain incredible encouragement in their own fight to remain faithful? I know I have, and I think they would as well.
Another reason ICOM is a conference that can bring needed reinforcement of vocational vows is because of the nature of the conference itself. It seems as though most conferences in the U.S. emphasize leadership or making one’s church as big as possible. ICOM’s purpose is “to encourage, equip, and enlist workers for the harvest.” To be sure, they talk a great deal about leadership and growing the church, but they focus on what Steve Richardson in his book, Is the Commission Still Great?, says is the primary mission of the church: to bless all peoples of the world with the gospel of Jesus Christ. If we are to be people who connect with Jesus in the many forms he describes in Matthew 25, U.S. church leaders must intentionally put themselves in the places where those people are. World missions does this quite effectively, and I think it would help to heal enough of the low-level neurosis garnered from ministry in the U.S. and save a lot of ministers.
These two solutions to the problem of minister vocational attrition will take effort on the part of the church leaders who control budgets and schedules. Funds and free time need to be prioritized for ongoing coaching, spiritual direction, and conference attendance for those who need it. We can all agree that Jesus himself, though being in his essence God, still needed time with God (see Mark 1). Even though these ministers and missionaries have the Holy Spirit and a spiritual life with God, they (not being in their essence God) need something more. The type of service that TRAIN offers and the focus that is found at ICOM can be a big part of this "something more."
PRAYER
Paul exhorted the Philippians to set aside anxiety and "in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving," make their requests known to God, and they will find the thing that will see them through, hearts and minds guarded by Christ's peace (Philippians 4:6-7, New International Version ).
THE POWER OF PRAYER
One more thing can be done in the battle to strengthen church ministers and missionaries: prayer. You probably expected this, but there are two reasons it should be taken seriously as an aspect of retaining church and ministry leaders.
First of all, we find that many pages of Scripture show us people praying. Whether in exaltation or desperation, people prayed. And the underlying presumption on God's part is that we should pray. Jesus said, “When you pray” (Luke 11:2). The apostles needed to be able to focus on “prayer and the ministry of the word” (Acts 6:4). Paul exhorted the Philippians to set aside anxiety and "in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving," make their requests known to God, and they will find the thing that will see them through, hearts and minds guarded by Christ's peace (Philippians 4:6-7, New International Version).
The second reason I bring it up is because, in a discussion with J.R. Bucklew of Pioneer Bible Translators, I learned how God is working very specifically today through intentional prayers. J.R. was kind enough to share with me how the leadership of PBT believes fully that the Lord is honoring their commitment to prayer and sustaining their leadership in ways that are quite humbling. When Greg Pruett took leadership of PBT 20 years ago, he sensed the Lord wanted him to "make prayer the strategy." So Greg instituted prayer as the foundational approach through which PBT would work. They have budgeted time and financial resources to make prayer their posture towards whatever might come their way.
J.R. shared with me that Greg believes their commitment to prayer as their strategy is being honored by God. The Lord has helped PBT’s staff deal with the many cultural shifts that have happened in the West over the past 20 years and blessed their worldwide staff with a resilience that resists the pull of so many of the destructive forces at work in cultures that know nothing of a biblical worldview. In particular, they have been able to navigate in a gracious yet uncompromising way the troubled waters of women in leadership, divided opinions on political issues, LGBTQ+ issues, and issues dealing with sexuality and fidelity. Many of these issues are pushing too many leaders out of their ministry vocations.
Church leaders today face immense challenges caused by cultural shifts that emphasize autonomy, individualism, and complex social issues conflicting with biblical truths. Ministers and missionaries confront these challenges both in their congregations and on the mission field, with many feeling the weight of these pressures intensely. Supporting them requires a multi-faceted approach: fostering spiritual resilience through training programs like those offered by TRAIN, providing ongoing support and direction, and encouraging participation in conferences such as ICOM that offer a global perspective on the church and mission work. Additionally, as J.R. Bucklew from PBT highlights, prayer at strategy's core can sustain leaders through even the most turbulent times. The church can help its leaders remain steadfast in their roles by emphasizing these supports, thus producing a long-lasting gospel impact worldwide.
Karl Halverson is executive director of Literature and Teaching Ministries and president of College Press Publishing Company in Joplin, Missouri.
By Ben Chachiaras
It’s good to talk about how ministry is a privilege and a joy, how the calling is noble and essential. Ministry is all of these things, and more.
But ministry is also just plain hard.
Add up the pressure of teaching and preaching, the load of leadership and the burdens of broken people, while fulfilling impossible expectations on a shoestring budget in a divisive cultural climate—all while holding your own personal baggage and trauma— well, it’s overwhelming. No wonder pastors are burning out and running out. About a third of those who remain have seriously considered quitting in the last year.
But of course, there are myriad beautiful, shining examples of faithful ministers who have demonstrated a long obedience in the same direction. They plug away, putting in the work in gritty, unglamorous ministry trenches year after year. They are not only faithful, they are fruitful. In stark contrast to the highly publicized pastoral failures, these countless workhorses of the kingdom humbly serve with integrity and will finish well.
Don’t you think it’s worth asking how to belong to this second group?! How do we stay faithful and fruitful?
“We are what we repeatedly do,” said Aristotle. Show me your habits and I’ll show you your life! Paul echoed the importance of habits by comparing ministry to an Olympic athlete training to win (1 Corinthians 9:24-27). The discipline of heading to the gym pays off, says Paul, but it’s nothing compared to the power of godly habits in your life (1 Timothy 4:7-8).
I’ve been asked to reflect on some of the seemingly small ministry practices that have a way of compounding in remarkable results over time. My list is long, but I will share what might be the top three habits for meaningful ministry in today’s difficult context.
There is so much pressure in ministry to perform. There’s a constant emphasis on outputs: grow the church, build the building, expand the ministry, increase the budget, fix the webpage, choose the curriculum, run the meeting, lead like a champ, preach like TED, do all the things. But the most important thing in ministry is not what you are doing, it’s who you are becoming.
Character trumps outputs, charisma, and skillset every time. To paraphrase Richard Foster, the great need today is not for a greater number of smart or gifted or productive people, but for deep people.
Jesus said in John 3:11, “We speak of what we know and testify to what we have seen.” We need pastors who have firsthand experience with Jesus, which means we need habits that lead to the deep inner work of transformation in Christ. The mission of the church is to make disciples, but before we make disciples, we are first called to be disciples of Jesus.
As Dallas Willard reminds us, all authority and resilience in spiritual leadership derives from the minister’s own life in the Spirit, from their own personal encounter and ongoing relationship with God.
This exposes the great occupational hazard of ministry today and the root cause of so much of our malaise and discouragement: too many pastors are untethered from their Source, working from human strength, rather than abiding deeply in the Vine. The habits most needed today are not those that help us lead the church, but those which help us follow Jesus.
There is an epidemic of loneliness among pastors. Especially this side of the pandemic, friendships in the church can be funky, and many pastors have been burned. It’s notoriously tricky to connect with other ministers in town, and places to share honestly about the blessings and burdens of church work are hard to find. Too many pastors fulfill Thoreau’s description and are living lives of quiet desperation.
If we urgently need habits of becoming to produce character, there is an equally desperate need for habits that will foster belonging to produce connection
I always wince a bit when someone describes our tribe as “Independent Christian Churches” because it is sometimes our fiercely “independent” spirit that drives us apart, like a powerful centrifugal force at work, despite how the New Testament has no place for “independent” anything. Everyone is connected to Christ and to one another, one body, mutually dependent. Interdependent.
Isolation cripples ministers and kicks them to the curb. Pastors need friends. Pastors need accountability. Pastors need connection. More than colleagues, we need a safe place to confess, to cry, and to find life-saving correction and life-giving community of others who share the calling.
Spire
Ministry is hard. But 1,500 ministry-minded servants gathered last October at the Spire Conference and came away stronger and better focused on Becoming, Belonging and learning Best Practices for ministry.
Spire is much more than an annual gathering, providing resources and guidance to ministryfocused people through multiple channels. But Spire’s annual conference is a crucial hub for Christian Church leaders because it provides a place for us to relearn the key habits we need to thrive in these trying times.
Main sessions were packed with incredible preaching and I was struck by how deep they went, to the core of our character, emphasizing that it is who we are in Christ that matters most.
Pre-conferences did deep dives into discipleship, preaching, and more. Breakouts were provocative and practical. One taught how to care for your soul while driving the mission, others focused on best practices in small groups and kids’ ministry. During mixers, pastors connected with others in similar roles, a crazy time of making friends and trading stories and phone numbers. At the after party, frisbees flew and music played, and over Mexican food casual groupings of ministry people reflected on all they’d absorbed. Others exaggerated their accomplishments in the golf outing or the pickleball tournament.
Some came to Spire with teams of elders or staff, some attended by themselves. Everyone left inspired, encouraged, less alone, and more con-
nected. Some came on empty, about to throw in the basin and towel. Everyone returned home full, charged up.
In our final session, Cam Huxford reflected on 40 years of ministry with Compassion Christian Church in Savannah, Georgia. He challenged us to see ministry as the most important, noble work in the world and to stay in the good fight. This is not a gig. Souls are at stake. And it will be a fight to maintain our character, a fight to stay connected with each other, and a fight to stay current and competent. But it’s worth it. Keep fighting the good fight.
To do that we need some help. We used to say if the North American Christian Convention didn’t exist, we’d need to invent something a lot like it. We desperately need a place that will help us all nurture vital habits that lead to deeper character in Christ, stronger connections with others, and improved competency for ministry.
We need a place we can focus on who we are becoming in Christ. We need a people among whom we can find belonging, and we need access to best practices that help us do what God has called us to do as effectively as possible.
That place for so many is Spire. As more and more join in each year, it will only get better.
Ben Cachiaras is lead pastor with Mountain Christian Church outside Baltimore, Maryland and serves on the board of directors for Spire.
DISCOURAGED IN MINISTRY?
Ideas from RENEW.org
By Daniel McCoy
“Let me see that. Oh great! Real bullets!”
So said Lucky Day, played by Steve Martin in The Three Amigos, when he was shot off his horse. Weren’t they just there to shoot an action movie? With his arm bleeding, Lucky stormed over to the henchman who had shot him, demanding to see the gun. When he discovered the pistol had real bullets and not blanks, he said, “You’re in a lot of trouble, mister!” But when Lucky looked around and saw that all the villains had belts of real bullets, he realized he was the one in trouble. He walked back to the other two amigos and said with a frown, “This is real.”
When was the moment that you realized ministry could be painfully real? Did disagreements with church leader-
ship spill over into unkindness toward your family? Did you have a Jonathan transform into a Judas? Did unmanaged stress slowly morph into undiagnosed mental illness? Did you find yourself lonely, realizing years into ministry that playing a friendly, pastoral role had replaced actual friendships? Did you find yourself trying to straddle a seismic, expanding divide, pulling at both sides only to make everybody angry at you?
In the words of the Red Green Show (I live in Iowa), “We’re pulling for you” here at RENEW.org. Here are 10 ideas to help you deal with discouragement in ministry. If you’re currently struggling with discouragement, I hope you try at least one or two of these and find them helpful.
1
KNOW YOU’RE NOT CRAZY.
If making disciples is the “road” churches are to drive, there are a couple “ditches” it’s easy to drift into. Many are drawn into an ineffective traditionalism, while others are drawn into an unfaithful progressivism. If you care about both effectiveness and faithfulness, we want you to know there’s an entire network committed to effective and faithful disciple making, called RENEW.org. You’re not crazy. You’re not alone. (Check out RENEW.org’s Real Life Theology family of books and videos that help bring clarity and alignment on the most important questions of the Christian faith.)
DO SOMETHING ELSE.
2
3
4
We recently held a RENEW.org Learning Community event (see #6 below) on the topic of pastoral burnout. To avoid burnout, one of our speakers, Bob Russell, advised us, “Nurture a hobby that has nothing to do with the church.” Find something that fuels your interests and gives you a break. (Check out Chapter 1, “How to Know Yourself,” in Rhythms: How to Live Out Real Life Theology.)
WRITE YOURSELF SOME RULES.
I’ve recently discovered the effectiveness of writing rules for myself and posting them on my wall. You know how checking the news too often can be depressing? That’s why for me, Rule #3 is “check news only once per day.” Set rules for yourself that minimize stress and safeguard what refuels you. (Check out Damien and Christina Charley’s “7 Rules Healthy Couples Set for Themselves” at RENEW.org.)
READ A BOOK—WITH SOMEONE.
Sometimes in ministry we are tempted to be everybody’s “answer man” or “answer woman.” Dial back the pressure by adopting the posture of a learner alongside someone else in your church, with the Holy Spirit as the teacher. Check out the numerous “discipling resource” books published by RENEW.org.
5
PRACTICE SILENCE AND SOLITUDE.
As Doug Gamble of Good News Productions, International (GNPI), explains, in silence and solitude, God gets and directs our attention, and it’s in silence and solitude that we can experience God’s love deeply. (Check out the article series on pastoral burnout by Doug Gamble at RENEW.org.)
JOIN A LEARNING COMMUNITY.
6
At RENEW.org, we have around 30 regional Learning Communities, each comprised of around 10 senior leaders in the region, which meet regularly to encourage each other. Each Learning Community event centers on a topic of ministry interest, such as unity amid politics, pastoral burnout, and Christian sexual ethics. (Get connected with a RENEW.org Learning Community near you.)
7
PLAN A SABBATICAL.
For the sake of ministry sustainability and personal renewal, it might be wise for you to request an extended break sometime on the horizon. (Check out Jeff Duerler’s recent article on ministry sabbaticals, where he thoroughly describes the what, the why, the how, and additional resources regarding sabbatical policies.)
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Disciple making is the core mission of the church. And it very well might be what breaks the spell of discouragement as you go about ministry. When Elijah lamented to God, “I am the only one left” (1 Kings 19:10), God sent him Elisha. There’s a “Timothy” in your church. Yes, he or she might be inexperienced or immature. Disciple him or her anyway. At the end of Paul’s ministry, Timothy ended up being a source of joy and hope which chased away Paul’s loneliness. (Our theology and apologetics certificates are being developed for training up leaders from within our churches. Stay tuned.)
ELIJAH, MEET ELISHA
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ALIGN YOUR LEADERS.
Is in-house division making you feel discouraged and alone? When a car starts pulling the wrong direction, you’ve got to check alignment, and it’s much the same with churches. (You might be interested in RENEW.org’s Leadership Alignment, which walks leadership teams through alignment in five crucial areas: mission, theology, ministry philosophy, organization, and relationships.)
COME TO A NATIONAL GATHERING.
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Amid the chaotic challenges staring down churches committed to King Jesus, we are hopeful for the future. As his disciples, we bow before a King whose love for us and reign over us will never end. Amid a quaking world, “we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken” (Hebrews 12:28). If you’re feeling that you could use some extra, in-person encouragement, we want to encourage you to join us for this year’s RENEW.org National Gathering in Indianapolis, IN, on April 27-28, 2025, as together we face the next quarter of this century, committed to making true disciples of King Jesus.
For more info on these resources, contact info@renew.org. Daniel McCoy is editorial director for Renew.org in Franklin, Tennessee.
A pastor’s life can be stressful. Some seasons, like baptism weekend, Easter, or opening a new campus, can feel like standing on the seashore, basking in the warmth of the sun. Other seasons feel like you’re getting crushed wave after wave. But we are ministers of Christ! We believe in providence and the sovereignty of God. Don’t we proclaim the Scripture that God works everything together for good? So why are we so stressed?
According to SoulShepherding.org, 75 percent of pastors report being “extremely stressed” or “highly stressed.” One hundred percent of 1,050 Reformed and Evangelical pastors had a colleague who had left ministry because of burnout, church conflict, or moral failure.
After 40 years of ministry and battling severe anxiety disorder, I discovered a treasure that is making my final years of ministry more enjoyable than any other season of life. Here’s the truth. The debilitating stress that causes so many casualties in ministry can be avoided. Moreover, the stress we feel has more to do with an internal brokenness than external circumstances.
The road on which I traveled to my current position is not typical. I did not “rise through the ranks” of youth ministry or associate ministry. I spent 20 years in Africa and New Zealand, starting churches and training leaders before arriving in Los Angeles as the lead pastor of ONE&ALL Church. After navigating challenges with staff, eldership, and property limitations, I began experiencing anxiety disorder. For over two-and-ahalf years I woke up in the middle of the night, usually between 2:30-3:00 a.m., feeling a sense of impending doom. My heart raced. I struggled to catch my breath. My blood pressure surged to
210 over 105. After months of medical tests including echocardiograms, CT scans, and various treadmill marathons, the doctors informed me, “There is nothing wrong with you. In fact, you are far healthier than most men your age.” Those words forced serious introspection. I did not like what I found, but the truth set me free, and it’s been over 10 years since I’ve had an anxiety attack, despite being busier than I’ve ever been.
Be open and honest with yourself as you read the six types of fuel that turn daily challenges into debilitating stress.
STRESS FUEL ONE: ENTITLEMENT
“Entitlement is the opposite of enchantment.” — Guy Kawasaki
Before the advent of social media and six figure salaries, an entire generation of young men and women went into ministry, not for money or fame, but because they felt a strong call to preach the gospel. Obscurity and a certain degree of poverty were part of the calling. Today too many of us are unhealthily attracted to a good salary with a large platform. We adore and respect those who live lives of recognition and plenty. The stress comes when we’re convinced that our talents and giftings are far above average and deserve greater recognition than we are receiving. When this occurs, ministries become steppingstones to greater achievement. Rather than loving and shepherding the flock, we end up using people as a means to our ends. Wrestling for what we think we deserve fuels frustration and leads to a sense of sorrow. Perhaps this is why 70 percent of pastors fight depression.
STRESS FUEL TWO: INSECURITY
“Most bad behavior comes from insecurity.” –Debra Winger
There is nothing more stressful than trying to manage one’s popularity and likeability. I have heard pastors claim they hire three kinds of people: “A” players, “B” players who are becoming “A” players, and “C” you later players. Soon after, we discover these same pastors created toxic work environments where “A” players seldom remain because they felt the constant condescension and jealousy of the lead pastor. When a pastor is insecure, bad things happen. One, he refuses to equip and train others to do the work of ministry so as not to shift the focus off himself. Two, he takes on a ministry load that will eventually lead to his demise. His addiction to praise motivates him to do more than any human can possibly do. Yet, it’s only a matter of time until the stress he has placed upon himself manifests itself through a moral failure, emotional breakdown, or a debilitating coping mechanism like pornography, alcohol, or substance abuse. The constant fear of failure is a weight no one can bear.
STRESS FUEL THREE: WRONG OBJECTIVE
“I am Yertle the turtle and I am king of all I see, But I don’t see enough and that’s the problem with me.” –Dr. Seuss
Pastors stand on stages around the world warning parishioners of the dangers of finding one’s ultimate significance in worldly acceptance and praise. “Jesus is enough,” we proclaim with convincing passion. Yet, our own pursuits betray us. When pastors drive the best cars and wear expensive clothing while asking our congregations to sacrifice for the ongoing capital campaign, something is not right. Truth is, far too many of us are addicted to status and accolades. We are building our own kingdoms.
A few years ago, I received a call from a pastor complaining that we were starting a ministry to university students at a school that was closer to his church than mine. We made our intentions public only after discovering he had no desire to launch such a ministry. This caused such an uproar we decided, in the best interest of church unity, not to proceed. Far too many pastors are building their names and kingdoms, not the kingdom of God. Their self-esteem and self-worth are based on how others perceive them. Anything that might hamper the growth and numbers of their own church
is seen as the enemy, no matter how good or profitable for the kingdom of Christ. The energy required to build and protect your own kingdom eventually takes its toll and you end up feeling alone.
STRESS FUEL FOUR: NO SABBATH
“If you don’t take a Sabbath. Something is wrong.” –Eugene Peterson
Pastors often think that saving the world means exemption from Sabbath keeping. In their minds, the fact they never hit the “off” switch proves superior devotion to Christ.
The reality is their 80-plus hour weeks have more to do with a repressed fear of anonymity than an extraordinary passion to grow the kingdom of God. Their greatest fear is mediocrity. They tell themselves that they are doing it all for Jesus, but they are doing it for themselves. Their sacrificial attitude may be compelling, but what they are losing is something far more precious. This lifestyle damages family relationships and creates a cycle of exhaustion and stress. There is no rest because selfish pursuits for self-aggrandizement never rest. You can drown your fears of anonymity in good works and acts of service, but it’s only a matter of time before the energy required to keep up the pursuit creates stress that overwhelms the heart and soul, forcing a retreat into the darkness.
STRESS FUEL FIVE: NO SOUL CARE
“Jesus is a healer, and He has come to heal us; body, soul, and spirit.” –Rob Reimer
You may think, “Why isn’t Jeff mentioning all the things that cause stress in the life of ministers, like, dysfunctional elders, performance driven worship leaders, staff infighting, moral failures, intolerable parishioners, worship wars, and youth ministers?” While each of these issues may be challenging, none should cause debilitating stress. Jesus, the best leader in human history, faced far worse and never seemed stressed until he felt separation from his Father. And there it is! We can only serve out of who we are, not who we wish we were. When we are separated from the Father, we will feel as though God has abandoned us. When we lose the Father, we lose everything associated with him: peace, wisdom,
contentment, and joy. When we allow the tyranny of the urgent to break our posture of prayer and stifle our investment in soul care, we lose our spiritual equilibrium. The number one stress killer is intentional time with the Father. Our daily time with God, therefore, must become non-negotiable. We must recharge our spiritual batteries if we hope to engage the stresses of our day with spiritual insight and a sound mind. Debilitating stress comes when we attempt to shepherd the flock out of our own wisdom and strength.
The statistics shared by Bill Gaultiere at https://www. soulshepherding.org/pastors-under-stress/ show that only 16 percent of pastors are satisfied with their prayer life, and more than half of all pastors spend less than 15 minutes per day in prayer. No wonder we are stressed.
STRESS FUEL SIX: DUPLICITY
“And some that smile have in their hearts, I fear, millions of mischiefs.” –William Shakespeare
Ravi Zacharias was my mentor. We met in 1999 in Auckland, New Zealand at an apologetics conference. Instantly, we became friends. I often traveled with Ravi and sought his advice on a myriad of subjects. Ravi’s public life was impeccable, at least on the surface. I never witnessed any kind of questionable behavior from Ravi. In fact, the opposite was true. He was cordial and kind to everyone. While he continued to live a life above reproach in public, he seemed stressed, beaten down, and exhausted in private. Our times together were some of the most inspiring and encouraging times of my life. I loved Ravi, but something was amiss. After Ravi was diagnosed with cancer, I chalked the difference in Ravi down to his cancer diagnosis. When his duplicitous lifestyle came to light, I discovered that Ravi was not merely broken by cancer but was fractured in his soul because of the duplicitous life he had been living. I, along with millions of others, was devastated. I wonder if a duplicitous lifestyle can bring about ailments like depression, anxiety, or even physical brokenness. Amid King David’s duplicity he wrote,
When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me;
my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer” (Psalm 32:3-4).
When a pastor lives in a way that contradicts his publicly proclaimed values, he may be able to hide it from the masses, but he will not be able to hide it from himself. This will cause an ongoing dis-ease in his spirit and the emotional stress will eventually overwhelm him, expressing itself in both physical and mental illness.
MOVING FORWARD
As I look back over the course of my life and ministry, most of the failures are my own doing. Elders are imperfect. Staff will disappoint you. People will try to hurt, if not ruin you. In those seasons, ask yourself a few important questions. Am I in this for the right reasons? Whose kingdom am I really building? How strong is my devotional life? Am I practicing what I am preaching? Do I consider all ministry success a gift from God? What do I celebrate most in my life? Am I taking a sabbath rest, honoring God and my family with my time and attention? Failure in one or more of these areas ignites normal stress to unhealthy and unmanageable levels.
Each of us knows there are remnants of these stress fuelers in our lives. The real battle is in the mind and the will. We must get back to the truth that will sustain us. Our overwhelming stress can back us into a corner of humility, calling on Jesus to reshape and mold us into a leader whose peace passes all understanding. That can only happen when our motivations, objectives, private life, and soul care align with the purposes of God. For many, God may have to knock you down and rebuild you so that joy can become central and sorrow only peripheral. Let him do it! Indescribable peace resides on the other side.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).
Jeff Vines is lead pastor with ONE&ALL Church in San Dimas, California.
AVOIDING A MOUNT CARMEL MELTDOWN
By David Vaughan
In 1 Kings 19, Elijah the man of God was ready to turn in his prophet’s badge. One of the greatest prophets in the entire Bible was burned out and bummed out. He was discouraged, depleted, and done. He was also extremely lonely.
Clearly he isn’t the only one to struggle with loneliness. King David cried out in despair to God in Psalm 25:16, describing himself as “lonely and afflicted.” Paul described a season of loneliness in 2 Timothy 4:16 when he wrote, ”no one came to support me, but everyone deserted me.” Even Jesus, in his darkest moment just hours before he was crucified, experienced some degree of human loneliness. All of his friends fell asleep, Judas betrayed him, and Peter denied him, eventually leading him to cry out, “My God, why have you forsaken me?”
Clearly, if you’re lonely right now, you’re in good company. A recent Barna report observed that 43 percent of the pastors in the study who had considered quitting the ministry felt lonely and isolated. What’s ironic is we’ve never been more connected digitally, yet never more alone relationally. For the past two decades, through social media, we have been able to meet new people, reconnect with old friends, and stay in touch with family. How could we still be lonely? Because in a high-tech world, we still need a high touch church.
If the COVID Pandemic taught us anything, it’s that loneliness is lethal. Humans are hard wired for connection and community.
Dr. Vivek H. Murthy, Surgeon General of the United States, affirmed this in a startling way in his 2023 landmark report, Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community. He writes,
Loneliness is far more than just a bad feeling—it harms both individual and societal health. It is associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and premature death. The mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and even greater than that associated with obesity and physical inactivity.
Read that again slowly and let it soak in. Loneliness is lethal physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Especially if you’re a church pastor or spouse of one.
Those of us who read and believe the Bible don’t need a report to tell us this. We already knew it from way back in Genesis 2:18 when God said, ”It is not good for man to be alone.”
GotQuestions.org noted interestingly the word lonely is never used in the New Testament to describe people. In the New Testament, lonely occurs only twice and both times refers to desolate places (Mark 1:45; Luke 5:16), where Jesus moved off into the wilderness to be alone.
Cleary there is a significant distinction between being alone (healthy and essential) and being lonely (unhealthy and exhausting). It’s the difference between living a lovely life or a lonely one.
Leaders should occasionally choose to be alone in solitude, but there are types of loneliness they don’t choose. The loneliness of hard decisions, criticism from jealous colleagues, and the weight of the divine call on your life. Those are inevitable as a pastor. But there is a huge difference between solitude and isolation. Former General Electric CEO Jack Welch wrote in a Business Week article, ”There’s something about being a boss that incontrovertibly lends itself to isolation.”
The good news is you can choose whether you are alone or lonely as you lead. In his book Leadership Gold, John Maxwell says one of the most common phrases heard is, ”It’s lonely at the top.” He disagrees with that statement. ”If you’re lonely at the top, then you’re doing something wrong.” When done well, ministry is not a solo sport!
This brings us back to Elijah. When he was at his lowest, God was at his best. Through a series of interventions by a loving God, he was recharged, refreshed, and reminded that he was not alone. God told him there were 7,000 who had not bent their knee to Baal (1 Kings 19:18). In 1 Kings 19, God provided Elijah with a practical and powerful action list for loneliness. He provided sleep (vs. 5), warm food (vs. 6), some travel and exercise (vs. 8), great questions (vs. 9), his presence (vs. 11), and two new partners (vs. 16).
Elijah was hungry, angry, lonely, and tired, a lethal combination when you’re a leader for God. By the way, that’s a fantastic acrostic—and warning—for you as a leader. When those same four characteristics are seen and felt in your life, just HALT – slow down your decision making. If you don’t, chances are you’re likely to make a bad mistake.
IF THE COVID PANDEMIC TAUGHT US ANYTHING, IT’S THAT LONELINESS IS LETHAL.
A lot of loneliness in ministry comes from comparing our kingdom assignment to someone else’s, and for some reason we always compare to something bigger.
I would be remiss not to mention that pastors are not the only people in ministry who struggle with loneliness. Pastor’s wives do too!
A recent LifeWay Research study showed that a pastor’s spouse is more likely to feel lonely and without close friendships than other people in the congregation. Sixty-nine percent say they have “very few people I can confide in about the really important matters in my life.” Author Mandy K from Care for Pastors lists 5 reasons for this:
• Superficial relationships in the church. “No one ever sees me as my own person. I am the pastor’s wife, so no one tries to get close to me.”
• A busy pastor/husband. “My husband is on call 24/7. I just get leftovers,” or “Frankly, the church is like a mistress to my husband. He has abandoned me for someone else.”
• Mean church members. “I guess I’ve isolated myself to some extent. I just don’t want to keep hearing those awful things they say about my husband and me.”
• A conduit for complaints about our husband. “Last week someone told me their family was leaving the church because my husband is a lousy preacher. Do they have any idea how that makes me feel?”
• Broken confidences. “I’ve given up trying to get close to church members. I thought I had a close friend until I found out she was sharing everything I told her. That killed me emotionally.”
The reality is that a Mount Carmel Meltdown can occur to a Mr. or a Mrs.!
Here are a few guidelines for combating loneliness in your life and avoiding a Mount Carmel Meltdown. Spoiler alert! They are pretty much the same one’s God facilitated with Elijah.
Don’t isolate, communicate. Talk to someone else, especially another church leader or pastor because, trust me, they will understand. Nobody knows a pastor like a pastor. Or a pastor’s wife like a pastor’s wife. You don’t have to do ministry or life alone. In fact, we’re commanded not to do that! There’s a reason Solomon said, ”Two are better than one” (Ecclesiastes 4:9). Pursue finding a close buddy that sticks closer than a brother and a cohort with a small band of brothers who will listen and ”fight the good fight of the faith” together with you.
Don’t throw a pity party, throw a kingdom one. Unfortunately, Elijah learned that with pity parties, the only one who shows up is the devil. Intentionally schedule events and gatherings with other like-minded pastors and wives with the sole purpose of having fun. The kingdom is not always a fast, it is also a feast! Like Elijah, get some food, drink, and a few new friends.
Don’t compete, complete. A lot of loneliness in ministry comes from comparing our kingdom assignment to someone else’s, and for some reason we always compare to something bigger. But what we often fail to realize is that new levels bring new devils for them which we wouldn’t want. Pride keeps people stuck in isolation. Pastors have told me they didn’t want to meet with other pastors when things in the church weren’t going well because they were embarrassed. Those are the times when you most need to group with other pastors. Instead of competing, have the goal of completing a fellow pastor by encouraging them. His successes are yours because we’re on the same team. The only competition we have is the Devil!
Don’t self-sabotage, show self-care. Develop healthy rhythms of soul care and self-care. Adequate rest, sleep, exercise (Elijah walked and traveled 40 days after his meltdown), self-reflection and mindfulness of his presence are foundational practices to develop. Self-care is not selfish. Don’t let the way you are doing the work of God sabotage the work of God in you. Be more committed to the Lord of the work than the work of the Lord. Obviously, if you find yourself dealing with clinical depression or significant mental health challenges, seeking professional counseling/therapy is advised and critical for your healing. It’s way past time for the church to be advocates in this area and not adversaries or critics for those seeking it, especially pastors or their wives.
I heard about a man who was exceedingly lonely and discouraged. So much so, that he went to see a prominent counselor to share his problems and seek advice. After listening to how he was feeling, the well-meaning counselor said, ”You’re just very sad. What you need is more joy in your life. I understand the circus is in town and they have a fantastic clown who is making everyone laugh. Why don’t you go see him tonight.” The man responded by saying, ‘Sir, I am that clown.”
Most church members would likely be shocked to know their pastor struggles with loneliness. There’s no shame in this. But it would be a shame if you didn’t do something about it. TODAY.
David Vaughan is president of D. Vaughan Consulting in Charleston, South Carolina and ministry coach with the Christian Church Leadership Network in Florence, Kentucky.
STOP BEING A PEOPLE PLEASER.
I say this as a recovering people pleaser. It can be tempting to try to please everyone else instead of having a clear understanding of what God has called you to do. When you have a clear understanding of what you are called to do, it will help you understand what God has not called you to do. Sometimes, it can be easier to disappoint your family than to disappoint the people in your church. However, your church has more than likely had many pastors, while your wife will hopefully have only one husband and your kids one dad.
ESTABLISH CLEAR BOUNDARIES.
This one is the hardest in my opinion. Everyone wants something from you. The problem is that often, the things they want from you conflict with other things they want from you. At our church, people and staff want access to me regularly. They want me to be an open-door pastor, but they also want me to be further ahead on my sermons. So, I have established days in my week where one or the other can happen, but not both. This has been incredibly rewarding and fulfilling.
I maintain an open-door policy two days a week. I also arrange one or two days a week when people in the church can schedule meetings with me. I know this sounds crazy to make people who are having difficulties schedule a meeting during office hours to meet with me. What about meeting them in a crisis? What about being there for them in an emergency? Hard truth incoming. Most people are not in an emergency situation. My dad is a veterinarian. He has made a great living with people bringing their animals into his office during business hours. They take off work to bring their dog in for its annual check-up and shots. If people are willing to take off work for a pet, they can do the same for their marriage. This applies to appointments with barbers, dentists, and mental health professionals, too. If people are not willing to take off work, they are not as serious about fixing their marriage as they are letting on. This is a great way to establish fertile ground instead of throwing pearls to pigs.
Our goal as a church staff is to be home five nights a week and to do ministry two nights a week. There might be a time or two when you are gone three nights in a week during a quarter and five or so once or twice a year. As I am writing this I am on a stretch where I am gone seven nights in a row for different ministry events, and 10 nights out of 14 days. However, at the end of this run, I have two weeks where I have nothing scheduled in the evenings and nothing will get scheduled. It’s okay to sprint from time to time, but you also need to recover.
MAKE STRATEGIC INVESTMENTS IN LEADERS.
As a church grows, so must its leadership capacity. Over time, your leadership gifts will in many cases need to outpace your pastoral gifts. Why? It is not possible to pastor everyone! You have heard this before. The question is, what has changed since you read it last? Let’s focus on action. Make a list of several guys (maybe 5-10) in your church you enjoy spending time with and who fill you up. Start taking them with you on ministry moments. I used to have a guy drive me to places I was preaching. I have invited people to join me as I made hospital visits. I try to bring a couple of people in on projects or initiatives. This allows me to guide the decision-making process while others provide much of the energy and effort.
PRUNE YOUR MINISTRY FOR EFFECTIVENESS.
Most growing churches do not have large and crowded ministry calendars. Think of it like the game, tug of war. Keep your feet planted, pull hard, then take up the slack. If you don’t provide time between ministry events, there will be no time to take up the slack and capture the fruit of the ministry moment. Think about the farmers in your region. They don’t plant all the time; they plant strategically. They don’t harvest all the time; they harvest strategically. Sit down with your team and decide what ministry moments you need to lead out on and what ministry moments need to be carried by others or allowed to come to a graceful end.
In the spring of 1984, an historic meeting of 100 leaders from our tribe was convened at a downtown hotel in St. Louis, Missouri. The purpose of that three-day convocation was to address a singular question: “What can we do to get the Restoration Movement moving again? ” There was a shared sense among those leaders that we needed a renewal of Holy Spirit inspired momentum in our fellowship.
Two unified action steps came out of that gathering. The first initiative was to double the number of our new church plants by the year 2020. Thus “Double Vision” was launched. The second initiative was to re-envision the growth potential of more of our churches to become megachurches. There was a consensus that our independent, non-denominational, Christ-centered, Bible-based congregations had the spiritual DNA to grow. Two of us who were present for that event were in our mid-thirties [the co-authors of this article]. One was a new church planter [Alan]. The other was a Christian college president [Ken]. We discovered we were the same age, and we were kindred spirits in terms of both our calling and our values. (Coincidentally, we also shared the same wedding anniversary!)
In those days we were usually the two youngest guys in the room. Now, in our late seventies . . . well, you get it. The point is that after 40 years, we are still in the harness with sustained passion for serving Christ and his church. Alan has a growing ministry with Covenant Connections. His mission is to create resources and generate a growing number of soul care groups for pastoral leaders to insure mutual friendship, sustained productivity, and personal accountability. Ken is vice-president of leadership development for The Solomon Foundation, coaching pastoral leaders of the organization’s 850 partner churches. He also provides written and video resources for e2: effective elders and serves as a mentor in the new Level Up preaching initiative.
[Ken & Alan] It is a matter of both conscience and commitment for us to finish strong in ministry leadership. And there is much in Scripture related to this sanctified ambition. From Psalm 92:14 where King David declares of the righteous, “They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green” (New
International Version), to Paul’s testimony in Philippians 1:22, “As long as I’m alive in this body, there is good work for me to do” (The Message). Or to say it another way, if you are alive and breathing today, God isn’t finished with you yet. He wants you to stay strong in ministry!
No one is always strong. [Alan] We all take turns feeling strong and we all take turns feeling weak. One of my tough allies in ministry proves the point. Even though his church was large and growing, he was personally reeling. Numerous challenges and criticisms had taken a toll. That’s when I happened to call. At the time I was unaware of his struggle and just checking in. This brother later testified that that call of encouragement was timely. It seemed to him like divine intervention. Maybe it was. After all, God uses ordinary people in extraordinary ways. [Ken] I was on the receiving end of timely encouragement a few years ago. I was under assault from the organization Americans United for the Separation of Church and State. As a private citizen I had advocated for one of our elders at Crossroads Christian Church who was running for political office as a state representative. I was threatened with a lawsuit personally and the church’s tax-exempt status was (supposedly) in jeopardy. A brother pastor read about the injustice in the local newspaper and knocked on my door one Saturday morning to pray over me. (It also helped that the following weekend I got up to preach to a standing ovation in all three services!)
Too many Christian leaders are stressed, and some are even reconsidering their roles in the church. [Alan] Recently I heard that a small group of mega church leaders was overheard lamenting their challenges and that each of them voiced their desire to quit. We’ve all seen the alarming statistics. It’s no secret that we need a lot of ordinary people to step up these days by amping up their encouragement of Christian leaders. Maybe that’s you. [Ken] Intentional and strategic ministry partnership has precedent in the New Testament. Jesus chose “twelve that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach.” He sent out the disciples to minister in pairs. Peter and John fortified each other through their unjust physical persecution and imprisonment. Paul
had ministry partners in Barnabas, Silas, and Timothy who perpetually helped keep him strong. So, either find a physical paraclete, or be one, or both!
Everyone needs to be “called up and out” from time to time. [Alan] We are all susceptible to “stinkin’ thinkin’,” the feeling that we are under resourced and underappreciated. While that may be temporarily true on occasion, it’s never perpetually true when we consider the limitless resources of God the Holy Spirit. We all need regular reminders of that. We all need at least one “chief reminding officer” to prompt us to remember our calling. [Ken] I can honestly say that I have read too many missionary biographies to fall into the rut of self-pity. When I heard Isabel Dittamore talk about having all her teeth pulled and being fitted for dentures before going to serve God’s purpose in rural China so she wouldn’t have to return to the United States for dental care, it pretty well cured me of ever thinking I was overworked or underpaid!
(Thank you, sister Dittamore!)
Never underestimate the power of calling. [Alan] This is not a simple call of encouragement, as important as that might be both to make and to receive. This is the upward call of God; the unshakable conviction that despite our inadequacies and weaknesses, we have been set apart to be on assignment for him. [Ken] Many times, in the solitude of private meditation, I’ve gone back in my memory to a hot, windy August night (2:00 AM) in 1966, to a Catholic cemetery in rural northern Indiana, in front of a life-sized statue of my crucified Lord, on my knees, to reaffirm the reality of my vertical call to ministry. Dramatic? I suppose so. Subjective? That’s fair. But my zeal for ministry is renewed every time I go there in my mind. So, if I did not have a ministry, I’d have to try and create one!
Jude, the half-brother of Jesus put it like this: “To those who have been called, who are loved by God the Father and kept by Jesus Christ: Mercy, peace and love be yours in abundance” (Jude 1:1-2, New International Verson).
[Alan] I’m indebted to Gary Thomas, for his book, When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People. Sooner or later everyone in a leadership role
will deal with antagonistic people. They are that way because they are antagonists. That’s just how they roll and how they relate, especially to those in leadership. [Ken] I’m indebted to Bill Hybels for his leadership talk, “Gauges, Gifts, and Playing Games.” He identifies the three kinds of people that exist in our world of local church ministry: replenishers, ciphers, and drainers. I learned early on to maximize my time with replenishers and limit my time with drainers. I still do!
Whenever we feel weak, we gain strength from God through his Word and through his people. Both are needed. We need to meditate on life-giving passages and assimilate them. Meditation has been defined as allowing the truth of the Scriptures to descend from our heads to our hearts. It’s not just a matter of reading God’s promises but applying them. The same is true for opening our hearts to the counsel of those with whom God has called us to partner. Sometimes those words may be instructive or corrective. At other times they may be comforting and encouraging. We gain strength from them all. No leader should risk leading alone. Ministry isolation is a short cut to all the bad “d" words: discouragement, despair, depression, dejection, disappointment, demoralization, and desertion.
So, who are those currently surrounding you and infusing you with strength? We are not talking about friends from long ago, but rather those friends you’ve shared your struggles with just days ago. Such strengthening angels will be able to assure you that you have been called, that you are loved and that you are kept by the grace of God. The best time to start building a soul enriching friendship like this is probably 40 years ago as we [Alan & Ken] did. But the next best time is now! This is the way to cultivate the kind of relationships that will bring you strength for life. The kind of relationships that enable you to know you are not alone. The kind of relationships that make it possible for you to say, “I have no secrets, and it is well with my soul!”
Ken Idleman is vice president of leadership development for The Solomon Foundation, Parker Colorado.
Alan Ahlgrim is administrator for Covenant Connections, Longmont, Colorado.
By Trevor Littleton
My name is Trevor Littleton. I am a pastor. I have punched a member of my church in the face. For the sake of transparency, it was more than one and I enjoyed it. I love Jesus. I love the church. I love church people. However, I must confess there are times I find more solace in the boxing ring than I have in the local congregation, as I have been wounded far more by church people than by tattooed heavyweights. My sneaking suspicion is I am not alone in this sentiment.
Ministry is hard. The prevailing challenge for every church leader is to walk the fine line of leading a congregation of mature disciples while simultaneously living in a world of unbelievers. Citing matters of isolation, political division, and stress, George Barna notes that 42 percent of pastors have considered quitting full-time ministry. Among a list of 15 reasons sighted is a pattern juxtaposing the balance of pleasing church people and leading in an unbelieving world. Underscoring this challenge is a disconnect pastors find in connecting to and relating with the unchurched. Many feel they are
unable to connect with the unchurched as their social network is dominated by Christians. I need to be clear; surrounding oneself with others who share beliefs, core convictions, and Christlike maturity is a very good thing. It is true, however, that a void exists between those who are mature disciples of Christ and those who do not yet know him.
Today’s church does not have an evangelism problem. We have an intentionality problem. It is imperative that mature disciples of Christ be intentional in pursuing relationships with the unchurched. Jesus’ ministry was incarnational, showing the world he cared enough to pursue us in the muck and mire of life. He called us to “go” (Matthew 28:19-20). Yes, it is uncomfortable. Yes, it is messy. Yes, there will be hard moments and tough talks. Yes, it is incredibly challenging. And yes, it is worth it. After years of getting it wrong, I would like to discuss three practices that have made evangelism and connecting with the unchurched at our church plant successful not only for our staff, but for every member of the congregation.
BE AUTHENTIC
My wife and I began our church planting journey in 2023. For many years, I would sit in elder and staff meetings, crafting vision to reach the unchurched. I often found myself saying, “If we were a church plant, we would be doing X, Y, and Z to reach the unchurched.” I would throw out the need to immerse our team in the wild, foregoing office hours for time at coffee shops, gyms, community events, and involvement in the local schools. Finally, after 21 years of ministry, Shanna and I took the plunge, abandoning the security of working alongside good friends within the confines of functional, organized congregational ministry.
We knew God was calling us to stay in Ohio. We sat at the table and opened a map of the greater Cleveland area and began praying fervently as a family. We landed in Strongsville, a southwest suburb of the city of champions. Strongsville is home to many retired NFL players as it neighbors the Cleveland Browns corporate office and practice facility. A lifelong fan of all things Cleveland sports, I’ve grown to appreciate the movies Major League and Draft Day. In Draft Day, Kevin Costner’s character, Sonny Weaver Jr. placed a note in his pocket on the morning of the draft as a reminder of who he wanted in the draft: “VONTAE MACK NO MATTER WHAT.” While every team needs a good linebacker, this scene is a call out to leaders to stick to their convictions.
Make disciples, no matter what. We are not called to please people. We are not called to boast of our image or resume. We are not called to build well-branded kingdoms. We are called to make disciples. Jesus was many things to his disciples. Above all, he was authentic in every exchange throughout the gospels. His tone was warm and welcoming. He respected the woman at the well. He welcomed Mary Magdalene. He shared conversation with the Roman Centurion. In his authenticity, Jesus was able to connect with those who were different. Authenticity fosters an environment of connectivity. People are craving authenticity today, especially within the church.
Making disciples requires intentionality. We pursue people where they are. We behave like Jesus and become approachable, authentic, and connective. As evidenced by Philip, every interpersonal connection is an opportunity to share the gospel (Acts 8:26–40). Every first-time guest at church is a potential elder, leader, and disciple. We are surrounded by opportunity to connect people to a life-changing relationship with Jesus. Authenticity is the ability to connect with men and women who are different from us, but feel welcomed by our tone, disposition, and Christlike maturity. The connected discipler must be authentic in his or her approach to those they disciple, building a relationship and bond that engages the unchurched and shepherds them into deeper waters of faith.
BE VULNERABLE
I met Joshua on a Monday afternoon in July 2023. At 6’2” and 265 pounds, he asked that I join him in the ring. I tried to remind him of our 20-year age difference, but he insisted we were “just practicing.” The first two rounds were fair, sportsmanlike, and civil. However, as is the case with many sparring sessions, once an athlete gets warmed up and feels loose, the activity increases. By the end of the fourth round, both of us fought with an intensity I’ve never experienced before in the ring. He cut my forehead and cracked my rib while I made his nose bleed. We hadn’t realized it, but as the rounds passed, a crowd of onlookers gathered around the ring. Some of them horrified, others cheering, we ended the fight and wiped the blood, sweat, and tears from our faces. Still standing in the ring, I noticed that Joshua began to weep. I asked him if he was ok, and he responded, “You’re a pastor, right?” I told him I had earned my ring name, Preacher, honestly, and he began sobbing.
“How do I make it stop?” he asked.
I took my gloves and headgear off and asked, “How do you make what stop, buddy?”
“The anger.” He wiped the blood from his nose and continued, “I was a foster kid. No one adopted me. I have been abused. I just have so much hate and even here, I can’t get rid of it.”
I looked over my shoulder, only to see the same crowd still watching. I assure you, there is nothing like having an impromptu church service in the middle of a boxing ring. I put my arm around him, “I was adopted too. I know that anger. I feel it. I’ve felt the same rage course through my veins. I’m so sorry that happened to you. But please understand, I’m proud of you. The coaches are proud of you, and your life means something to everyone in this gym. I know God has a purpose for you and I would love to talk to you more about that.” He nodded his head, hugged me, and continued to cry. Eighteen months later, I still talk to Joshua. I was there at ringside for his first fight. I still encourage him and want him to know someone is in his corner. I’ve been blessed to baptize other fighters with similar stories.
You and I are not perfect. We have questions. We have struggles. We have moments of difficulty. Evangelism and discipleship are about connecting with people. Jesus called Peter to “Feed my lambs,” which is a profoundly intimate way of interacting with new disciples (John 21: 15). It is not our job to impress others like we have it together. It is our job to empathize with those who do not, to connect with them, and lead them to Jesus. The power of evangelism is leading with vulnerability. When others see that we have struggled but overcome through Jesus, opportunities for outreach will follow.
BE INTENTIONAL
Mike didn’t like church people. A generation earlier, his mother was asked to leave the congregation as the family was too poor to wear “church clothes” and fit into the most affluent church in the community. She was bitter, hurt, and angry, talking despairingly about the faith for decades. One by one his siblings returned to church, but Mike remained bitter, harboring his mother’s sentiment. Over the years, the church began experiencing profound change and subsequent growth. New families began to attend, none of them dawning their Sunday finest.
I made it a practice to stand outside and greet every Sunday, being authentic, vulnerable, and intentional to those who needed to feel welcomed. Three weeks in a row, I noticed a middle-aged man standing across the street watching everyone park and enter the building. On the third Sunday, I approached him. I knew Mike from a funeral I had preached a year earlier, so I felt comfortable opening the conversation. “How are you?”
His arms were crossed, his face in a scowl. “I’m good, how are you?” His tone matched his facial expression. He was standing there with a purpose, and I needed to know what it was.
He was a hard man, so in respect I cut to the chase. “What’s eating at you Mike?”
“This church told my family not to return about 30 years ago. I’ve heard it was differ-
ent now. I need to see it for myself.” He sighed and continued, “Has it really changed?”
I shook his hand and invited him to join us. He declined, but did attend the following Sunday. As a leadership, we knew this reputation preceded the church from situations in past decades. The congregation had a reputation of excluding others, which was a challenge we needed to overcome. The present membership had done a beautiful job in recovering, building a ministry that was loving, welcoming, and intentional. We renewed our mission, vision, and core values to pursue the unchurched with laser focus. It worked. It worked very well.
We cannot fall victim to the mundane rut of everyday routine, while living comfortably behind the golden gates of Christendom. Jesus has called us to be intentional in our mission to make disciples. Every interpersonal encounter is an opportunity to connect with the unchurched. Authenticity allows us to connect with them. Vulnerability lets us empathize and resonate with them. Intentionality delivers a clear path to lead them. We cannot make evangelism and connecting with the unchurched more complicated than it is. Look for common ground, set aside the fear, and make disciples in our day-to-day interaction. It is a time-tested success story (Acts 2:46–47).
Trevor Littleton is executive director for Kainos Leadership Network in Solon, Ohio.
NEVER THE SAME
HOW A PERSONAL ENCOUNTER WITH THE RESURRECTED CHRIST CHANGES US
BY STEVE YEATON
“Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything,” C.S. Lewis writes in A Grief Observed about the death of his wife, Joy. Any person who has suffered the loss of one dearly loved knows exactly what Lewis is talking about. The pain of the beloved’s absence is felt in every corner of the life of the one left behind. That’s true even for those whose relationship with the deceased was a healthy one without regret. Even then, the grief of separation is heavy. At times, unbearable.
What about when death comes when a relationship is broken? When the last words spoken were words of anger, deceit, or betrayal? What about when death comes before a relationship can be reconciled? The absence of the one who died is not merely a sky, spread over everything. It is an angry sky, a dark sky, a tumultuous sky, devastating everything. When death ensures the last note of a relationship is a discordant one, it shatters any hope for harmony in the heart still beating.
THE LAST TIME HE SAW JESUS
That promised to be the case for Peter’s heart when Christ died. Forever, it seemed, Peter would be haunted by the last time he saw Jesus. Or, really, the last time Jesus saw him. Looked at him. This last look destined to forever trump the look in Jesus’ eyes when Peter confessed, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God” (Matthew 16:16, New Life Version). How happy Jesus was with Peter then, “I tell you that you are Peter. On this rock I will build My church” (Matthew 16:18).
That look is a million miles away from the final look Peter saw in Jesus’ eyes. “At once, while he was talking, a rooster crowed. The Lord turned and looked at Peter. He remembered the Lord had said, ‘Before a rooster crows, you will say three times that you do not know Me’” (Luke 22:60-61.
In Christ’s last hours, Peter’s bold confession gives way to cowardly denials. In Christ’s hour of
need, Peter’s promise of undying devotion proves hollow. In Christ’s death, it’s not Nearer My God to Thee for Peter, it’s how far from God can I get? In his denials, Peter gets far, but not so far he can escape Jesus’ last look at him. That moment threatens to define Peter for the rest of his life.
There’s no condemnation like self-condemnation. Forever Peter will despise what he sees in the mirror. Coward. Weak. Undependable. Backstabber. What a friend Peter had in Jesus. In the end, Jesus could not say the same for Peter. No wonder, after that look, Peter “wept bitterly” (Luke 22:62, New International Version). And nothing, after Jesus’ body is sealed in the tomb, will ever stop the flow of Peter’s bitter tears.
Or so it seemed.
A HINT OF HOPE
The announcement of an empty tomb hints at the hope available for the broken like Peter. The hint of hope is in the words of the angel to the women at the empty tomb. After declaring Jesus is risen, the angel says to them, “Now go and tell his disciples, including Peter, that Jesus is going ahead of you to Galilee” (Mark 16:7, New Living Translation).
The angel’s words breathe hope into a deflated heart because they echo the first words of God after the betrayal of Adam and Eve. God’s first words toward his fallen creation are not words of condemnation. Instead, they are words of rescue. “Then the Lord God called to the man, ‘Where are you?’” (Genesis 3:9). The angel’s words at the empty tomb offer the same hope of rescue for the likes of Peter. The angel could have said, “Now go and tell his disciples, except Peter, that Jesus is going ahead of you to Galilee.” That’s what Peter deserved. That’s what we all deserve. Every sinner. For in our sin, we betray, we deny, we run away from our Creator.
ALL HOPE IS NOT LOST
But didn’t Jesus’ death fix all of that? Didn’t Jesus say about his impending death, “This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins” (Matthew 26:28, NIV )? Yes, he did say that. No bigger promise of rescue has ever been made to those needing rescuing.
However, Jesus’ declaration of forgiveness through his spilled blood is an empty one as long as he remains in the tomb. There’s a reason the disposition of the apostles following Jesus’ death is not one of hope but of despair. Peter does not weep alone. For Peter is not alone in his betrayal. For on the same night Peter denied Jesus three times, so, too, “all the disciples deserted him and fled” (Matthew 26:56, NLT ).
Luke tells us that, upon hearing the news relayed by the women, “Peter jumped up and ran to the tomb to look. Stooping, he peered in and saw the empty linen wrappings; then he went home again, wondering what had happened” (Luke 24:12). Not only must he have wondered what happened to Jesus’ body, but, if he did indeed rise, “What does this mean?” And, more personally, “What does this mean for me?”
If he is risen, will Jesus want anything to do with Peter? If Jesus does forgive him, will that be all he does for Peter? Did Peter’s failure permanently disqualify him for service in Christ’s kingdom? If these are the kinds of questions that troubled Peter’s soul, he’s not alone. Who hasn’t wondered in the aftermath of betrayal against the one who died for us, “Is there any hope for me? Does my sin render me useless in the kingdom of God? Even if he forgives me, will he keep me permanently at arm’s length?”
FROM ESTRANGEMENT TO RECONCILIATION
For those who know Peter’s anguish, return again to that post-resurrection breakfast Peter shared with Jesus in John 21. Return, especially, to their conversation. The content of that conversation reveals the promise of the resurrection for every repentant sinner. Reversal.
Because Jesus lives, estrangement is reversed into reconciliation. Yes, Peter loves Jesus. Because Jesus lives, disqualification from service is reversed into restoration to service. Yes, Peter will
shepherd the sheep of his flock. Because Jesus lives, dishonor is reversed into glory. Yes, Peter’s life, and death, will yet glorify God.
Peter may be the first to experience full reversal made possible by the resurrection of Jesus Christ, but he won’t be the last. Another who experiences the same kind of reversal writes of his story, “This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: ‘Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners’—and I am the worst of them all. But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life. All honor and glory to God forever and ever! He is the eternal King, the unseen one who never dies; he alone is God. Amen” (1 Timothy 1:15-17).
Because of the resurrection, the dark clouds of every sinner’s guilt, shame, and regret part making way for the bright rays of reconciliation, renewal, and restoration to burst through. They did for Peter. But not just for Peter. For any sinner who turns, and keeps turning, to Jesus in faith.
Decades later, Peter wrote of his confidence in sharing in Christ’s glory (1 Peter 5:1). His confidence isn’t in anything he offers, but in everything Christ has accomplished. He writes as one who is at peace with his Lord. In his encouragement to church leaders, he reveals the secrets of lessons learned long before in the reversal the resurrection of Christ made possible in his life. Chief among them is the truth that glorifying Christ is not found in what we do for Christ, but in what Christ is doing in us: “In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. All power to him forever! Amen” (1 Peter 5:10-11).
Reversal by the reality and power of Christ’s resurrection is still available to any person who cries out, and keeps crying out, “O God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner” (Luke 18:13). In your sin, in your betrayal, in your denials, you may be tempted to despair all hope is lost. The resurrection assures it is not.
Steve Yeaton is senior minister with First Christian Church in Columbus, Indiana.
ONE THAT GOES TO THE SOURCE . . .
BY BEN MEROLD
The Missouri River, the “Big Muddy,” runs past the city of Omaha, Nebraska. If we wanted to get pure, unpolluted water from this river, we have two basic choices. We might, as Omaha has done, install a filter to remove the mud that has accumulated in the water during the river’s meandering path south and east. But that treats only a small portion of the water, and the great body of the river runs on as muddy as before. If, however, we go to the source, we would find pure water that comes fresh from the wellspring.
Similarly, if we want the pure, unadulterated Christianity given through divine inspiration, we must go back to the source, before the evils and impurities entered the church. Herein is the difference between Restoration and Reformation.
I have just given you one of my favorite illustrations about unity. I found it years ago in the book 600 Doctrinal Illustrations published by Standard Publishing in 1941.
SEEKING UNITY
We should seek unity in the church, if for no other reason, because Jesus prayed for it. When Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, he prayed for himself and his disciples. Then he prayed, “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me” (John 17:20-21, New International Version).
So, we can’t criticize a biblical emphasis on unity. To do so would be to criticize this prayer of Jesus the night before his death on the cross. Jesus stated clearly that the world would not believe if there were not unity in the church. To have this, we must go back to the source.
I do not believe such unity exists in the churches today. As a result, we have failed to evangelize the world, and the church seems to have more divisions today than in the past. While many efforts toward unity have been made, our own brotherhood, the Restoration Movement, has been about the only group that constantly reminds us to go back to the source.
We seem to meld together both practical and scriptural emphases when we stay with our plea of getting back to what the New Testament teaches about
salvation, church structure, and Christian living. This concept of going back to the New Testament for our doctrine and structure seems to be very acceptable in our present culture of tolerance concerning almost everything. There is still a great opportunity for this brotherhood of local churches that promotes unity by getting back to the source.
The Restoration ideal still works if we will work it. It offers a basis of unity to all who believe the Bible to be the Word of God. We are a unity movement, and that unity is based on Scripture.
THE SIMPLE PLAN OF SALVATION
We offer a plan of salvation that is scriptural. We believe that salvation is by grace; it is a gift from God and is the result of Jesus Christ dying on the cross to redeem us from sin. He was resurrected from the dead, he ascended to heaven, and he is coming again.
And so, salvation is a gift. It is by grace. It is something we must have but cannot accomplish on our own. Still, a gift must be received, or we do not possess the gift even though it is available. Therefore, because God loves us, he also teaches us that we are under a new covenant, and the New Testament clearly articulates how people accept this gift: Those who became Christians heard the Word of God and believed it, turned to God in repentance, and confessed their faith in Jesus as their Savior. They were then baptized into Christ and were looked upon as redeemed and added to the church (see Acts 2:36-47).
The book of Acts goes to great length to give us story after story of people who were converted to Christ and added to the church. The pattern of conversion was always the same even though the experiences of the converts were often different.
We must teach salvation by grace, but we must also teach that, as individuals, we appropriate that grace by following the New Testament pattern. As is often said, “The ground is level at the foot of the cross.”
We are all saved the same way.
But when we are added to the church, we are confronted by another New Testament concept. The local church is to be led by its own elders and deacons. In the New Testament, each church cooperated with other local churches, but no denominational form of government existed. This too is a great foundation for unity.
EMBRACING OUR MOTTOS
Our movement has been identified by some unusual mottoes from the past.
• “No creed but Christ, no book but the Bible, no name but the Divine.”
• Where the Scriptures speak, we speak. Where the Scriptures are silent, we are silent.”
• “In essentials unity, in opinions liberty, and in all things love.”
• “We do Bible things in Bible ways and call Bible things with Bible names.”
• “The New Testament is our only rule of faith and practice.”
• “We are Christians only, not the only Christians.”
• “The church of Jesus Christ on earth is essentially, intentionally, and constitutionally one.”
• “Let Christian unity be our polar star.”
I have heard them worded somewhat differently, but you see the point.
Today’s young people grasp the meaning of these mottoes and are seldom offended by them. We need to refer to them and display them.
PROMOTING SOUND DOCTRINE
Let’s never fail to communicate the biblical doctrines our movement has consistently professed. First, consider baptism, which is for a believer who has turned to Christ in repentance and willingly confesses Christ as Savior. It is immersion in water for the remission of sins and the gift of the Holy Spirit (see Acts 2:38; 22:16; Romans 6:3-5).
Every denominational preacher I have talked to about baptism has admitted that the immersion of a
believer into Christ for the remission of sin and the gift of the Holy Spirit is right and scriptural. Therefore, let us continue to practice it the way everyone admits is right. This too is a basis for unity.
Then there is the Lord’s Supper, often referred to as the Communion service. This simple act of taking unleavened bread and the fruit of the vine in remembrance of the fact that Jesus died for our salvation was the central act of first-century Christian worship. It was the way Jesus asked us to remember him. The New Testament proclaims that in observing this, “you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes” (1 Corinthians 11:26). When we take the Lord’s Supper, we preach a visual, practical sermon about the body and blood of Christ.
These two ordinances are essentials and can become another basis of unity when the clear teaching of Scripture is accepted.
We must be wary of legalism as it comes in many forms. It often appears when we try to make our opinions matters of faith. Legalism often adds to New Testament teaching in the same way the Jewish religious teachers added to the law of Moses during the time of Jesus on earth. Let us be careful not to attempt to force our opinions in nonessentials on others.
We are part of a great movement to get back to the source—the New Testament—and restore the church in its doctrines and structure. In doing so, we offer a basis of unity to a divided church world. Please pray that God will use us to remind the world of the Savior and the simple teachings concerning salvation and the church as taught in Scripture. Let us take advantage of what the Lord has given us and renew our purpose without apology.
At The Solomon Foundation, we agree with Ben Merold’s wise words about going to the source—to Jesus Christ and the Word of God. That’s where we go and that’s where we direct our ministry. The Solomon Foundation wants to be your source for both investment and church loans to help you lead others to that one and only Source. Connect with us today at thesolomonfoundation.com and learn more!
By Jerry Harris
About seven years ago, I learned that the weekly lesson material written for The Lookout would require a new scope and sequence, a strategy through which we would approach Bible study. In addition, I learned that the scope and sequence we had been using was overseen by the National Council of Churches, an organization that is not known for an accurate interpretation of Scripture. This led me to a process of creating our own scope and sequence, and with that, a complete six-year study through the entirety of God’s Word with material written by Dr. David Faust and Dr. Mark Scott.
Now, six years later, and having completed this massive undertaking, Christian Standard Media is offering something new and exciting to our readers. We’ve named this new series 1717 Studies: Your Word Is Truth. The name comes from Jesus’ words in John 17:17. All of our biblical studies written over these last six years are being compiled into fully downloadable files from each Bible book with applications and study questions for your small group, Sunday school class, discipleship group, and for personal study and reflection.
While this has cost us over $100,000 to produce, we are offering it to you at no charge, asking only that you might consider a tax-deductible contribution to Christian Standard Media. We will be releasing each book or group of books in the coming months.
Take a journey through the Bible with two of the most renowned and trusted scholars in our movement and discover what truths God will reveal to you as you spend time immersed in his Word! 1717 Studies: Your Word is Truth is available online at Christianstandard.com.
INTERACT - IN PRINT
‘THANKS FOR YOUR WISDOM’
Bob Sartoris Amen! Trauma on the field can end a missionary’s efforts, but a supportive church can truly make a difference! As you attest, feeling the love from back home ALL THE TIME really helps! Thanks for your wisdom, Dan! [“Missionary Care: Ministering to Those Who Go,” by Dan Crum, November/December 2024, p. 42].
‘FASCINATING ARTICLE’
Kevin Bearly Fascinating article. … I appreciate the foresight and willing attitude of elders who encouraged and supported evangelism. . . . Keep teaching on this subject my Christian brothers. [“Staying on Mission: How Restoration Movement Churches Are Supporting Global Ministry,” by James Thompson, November/December 2024, p. 32].
Sharon Meza Our Spanish speaking congregation in Amarillo, Texas has been involved in the Hi-Plains School of Missions for five years now. Our congregation of several different nationalities has a heart for missions and has been blessed beyond measure in being able to meet missionaries involved in a myriad of missions. . . . We are so grateful for the dedication of brothers Marvin and Vic, their wives, and the other churches that compose the Hi-Plains School of Missions.
‘APPRECIATE THIS INSIGHT’
Diane Mitchell I appreciate this insight and update on missions and the changing world we Christ Followers need to adapt to. [“Mission: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow,” by Doug Priest, November/December 2024, p. 46].
‘WELL SPOKEN’
Loren C. Roberts Well spoken, pastor McKenzie. We indeed have become a nation of religious political fanatics. [“Who is More Religious, the Left or the Right?”, by Tyler McKenzie, November/December 2024, p. 14].
‘YOUR ARTICLE IS AN INSPIRATION’
George Butler Your article is an inspiration. Please keep up the great ministry that you continue among many people. [“Living on Gratitude Street,” by Wally Rendel, November/December 2024, p. 50].
Linda Herrington This is beautiful and we all need to read this and never forget; always God is good.
‘NEEDED TO READ THIS’
Roger Storms Great article Jerry.
‘GENEROSITY PAIRED WITH CREATIVITY’
Kevin Dooley Loved the reminder that generosity paired with creativity reflects the gospel, transforming lives by meeting needs with dignity, innovation, and God’s love. [“Novel Generosity: Churches and Individuals Who Creatively Share Their Blessings with Others,” by Chris Moon, November/December 2024, p. 56].
WE'RE GRATEFUL FOR YOUR HELP!
OUR THANKS TO THOSE WHO RESPONDED WITH UPDATED INFORMATION TO HELP US WITH OUR DIRECTORY OF CHURCHES. WE APPRECIATE YOUR HELP!
Larry Griffin | Dan Harlow | Seth Walker | Elaine Berry | Doug Arfsten | Ross Pepper | David Schwartzkopf | Kevin Brown | Lloyd Colston | Bill Griffin | Paul Daniels | Dustin Gallop | Ed Kemp | Scott Muller | Walter
Mielke | Larry East | Jack Bowman | Julie Brandt | Julie Brandt | Tony Harvey | Derrell Brame | Robin
If you do not receive Christian Standard’s weekly e-newsletter, you missed the following news articles in November and December 2024.
“Missouri Pastor Launches Apprenticeship-Style Ministry Training Program,” by Chris Moon November 5 – https://christianstandard.com/2024/11/missouri-pastor-launches-apprenticeship-style-ministry-training-program/
“Passing of Long-Time CCCB Professor Gareth L. Reese (1932-2024),” by Rick Cherok November 12 – https://christianstandard.com/2024/11/passing-of-long-time-cccb-professor-gareth-l-reese-1932-2024/
“Crafting With Purpose: How Creativity Can Deepen Your Spiritual Connection,” by Anna Griffin November 19 – https://christianstandard.com/2024/11/crafting-with-purpose-how-creativity-can-deepen-your-spiritualconnection/
“Modern Israel and the Church: An Interview with Dr. Jon Weatherly (Part 1),” by Tyler McKenzie November 26 – https://christianstandard.com/2024/11/modern-israel-and-the-church-an-interview-with-dr-jon-weatherly-part-1/
“Modern Israel and the Church: An Interview with Dr. Jon Weatherly (Part 2),” by Tyler McKenzie December 2 – https://christianstandard.com/2024/12/modern-israel-and-the-church-an-interview-with-dr-jon-weatherly-part-2/
“Digital Prayer Tools in the Modern Church: Restoring New Testament Prayer in Marriage and Family Ministry,” by Lena Gan December 11 – https://christianstandard.com/2024/12/digital-prayer-tools-in-the-modern-church-restoring-new-testamentprayer-in-marriage-and-family-ministry/
“Christian Standard News Items,” by Rick Cherok December 18 – https://christianstandard.com/2024/12/christian-standard-news-items/
“Christian Standard’s ‘Christmas Memories’ for 2024,” by Various Authors December 25 – https://christianstandard.com/2024/12/christian-standards-christmas-memories-for-2024/
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‘MENTORING WITH A PURPOSE’
Clyde Reed I have believed for quite a while that Bible college graduates who begin their initial ministries need mentors. This seems to be mentoring in with a purpose. About time. [“Missouri Pastor Launches Apprenticeship-Style Ministry Training Program,” by Chris Moon, November 5, https://christianstandard. com/2024/11/missouri-pastor-launches-apprenticeship-style-ministry-training-program/].
Gene Barron This is a great idea Jamie. . . . I don’t see this as a competition with our colleges but as an opportunity to train those God has called into ministry in an effective (and I might add, biblical) way, as Jesus did with his 12 and as Paul did with Timothy and others.
Mike The mentoring aspect is awesome! Perhaps you can spread this idea, later, into the acapella churches, as well!
‘GOOD DEFENSE INVOLVES GOOD OFFENSE’
Loren C. Roberts Good defense involves good offense. Be in God’s Word daily and be in prayer daily. Be intentional in both. [“November 10 Application | Don’t Fall for Spiritual Scams,” by David Faust, November 4, https://christianstandard.com/2024/11/november-10-application-dont-fall-for-spiritual-scams/].
Donna Hitchcock Great article. Thanks.
‘I LOVE THIS ARTICLE’
Claire Collobert I love this article! It’s so true: we all have the gift within us to emulate God’s creation through our own creativity. [“Crafting With Purpose: How Creativity Can Deepen Your Spiritual Connection,” by Anna Griffin, November 19, https://christianstandard.com/2024/11/crafting-with-purpose-how-creativity-can-deepenyour-spiritual-connection/].
Coral Matich Thank you Anna for such a wonderful message.
‘WHAT A HOMECOMING IT WILL BE’
Frank To be with King Jesus and to be reunited with family and friends. . . for all eternity. . . what a homecoming it will be…I think heaven will be here, a new heaven and earth will come down. . . . What will it look like? I don’t know exactly, but it will be glorious. No more pain, no more sickness, no more death! Jesus is preparing heaven for us. . . . I want family, friends and neighbors to come with me. Sharing the hope of the gospel every day. . . . Praise the LORD! [“November 24 Application | No More,” by David Faust, November 18, https://christianstandard. com/2024/11/november-24-application-no-more/].
‘I LOVE THIS EXPLANATION’
Diane Mitchell I love this explanation. Eager to read the rest. [“Modern Israel and the Church: An Interview With Dr. Jon Weatherly (Part 1),” by Tyler McKenzie, November 26, https://christianstandard.com/2024/11/modernisrael-and-the-church-an-interview-with-dr-jon-weatherly-part-1/]
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Matt O’Harra Genesis 15:18-21 is certainly not conditional. . . . The Jews were scattered, but the Lord brought them back (Jeremiah 16:15). . . . And we read that the Lord will bring them back from the ends of the earth. . . . This is happening now! (Isaiah 43:5-6).
Ernest Scheihagen God’s blessings for Israel were not unconditional, they were transactional. [“Modern Israel and the Church: An Interview With Dr. Jon Weatherly (Part 2),” by Tyler McKenzie, December 2, https:// christianstandard.com/2024/12/modern-israel-and-the-church-an-interview-with-dr-jon-weatherly-part-2/]
‘EXTREMELY INSPIRING’
Daniel Kauffman Great job extremely inspiring! The real message of Jesus, Savior to the world. To God Be the glory. [“Unfair,” by Sandy Mayle, November 25, https://christianstandard.com/2024/11/unfair/#comment-1133601].
‘ANOTHER POTENTIAL PERSPECTIVE’’
Dan Rees David. I have another potential perspective on an “empty” manger. We talk a lot about the empty tomb being the critical focus of Easter. Jesus is no longer in that tomb, because he moved on. Similarly, he moved on from the manger in order to get to that tomb. [“If the Manger Is Empty,” by David Faust, December 16, https://christianstandard.com/2024/12/december-22-application-if-the-manger-is-empty/].
'BEAUTIFUL STORY'
Sarah Matt Branum is a huge blessing to the Spearfish community! Thank you for sharing this beautiful story! [“The Last and the First,” by Matt Branum, December 21, https://christianstandard.com/2024/12/the-last-andthe-first/].
Jim N. A touching and truly memorable story. Thank you for sharing this, Matt. Merry Christmas!
‘READ FOR OUR COMMUNION TIME’
Tamara Peck This devotion was read for our Communion time this morning at worship. I thank God for giving the insight to Mr. Redford about the peace we can have by acknowledging our Father in heaven and His Son, Jesus: “making peace through his blood, shed on the cross” (Colossians 1:20). [“A Peace for Every Season,” by Doug Redford, December 16, https://christianstandard.com/2024/12/a-peace-for-every-season/].
‘LOVE LISTENING TO VIC KNOWLES’
Paul Frame always love listening to a Vic Knowles story. They always draw me closer to home and closer to him. [“The Christmas that Stank to High Heaven,” by Victor Knowles, December 18, https://christianstandard. com/2024/12/the-christmas-that-stank-to-high-heaven/].
For space, length, readability, relevance, and civility, comments sent to Interact may remain unpublished or be edited. We do read them all and prayerfully take them to heart. If we publish your comment, we will try to honestly reproduce your thoughts with those considerations in mind. Where we disagree, let’s continue to keep P.H. Welshimer’s words in mind to “disagree without being disagreeable.”
I take a brisk two-and-a-half mile walk each morning around sunrise, winding my way through my neighborhood and a tree-lined park nearby. The exercise is good for my body, and the quiet time alone is good for my relationship with God. Unless bad weather forces me to change, I usually take the same route every day.
Not long ago, though, I departed from my normal routine and walked down the driveway of an apartment complex located about a half mile from my house. While living in my neighborhood for 11 years, I have passed the entrance countless times, but I never had a reason to enter this particular subdivision. It turned out to be much larger than I expected, containing several multi-family dwellings not visible from the main road.
Hundreds of individuals and families must live here, I realized as I passed one building after another. A few residents—mostly young adults—nodded and said “Good morning” as they got into their cars, headed for work or school.
Later I learned that the development contains 19 buildings and 304 apartments altogether. If each apartment houses an average of two people, more than 600 residents live in this apartment complex, just a short distance from my home. Yet, I wouldn’t even know these neighbors exist if I hadn’t walked a little farther than usual that morning.
The Emmaus Road—and Beyond
After Jesus rose from the dead, two of his disciples walked toward a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem. Their faces were downcast and their emotions were in turmoil. They didn’t recognize Jesus when he began walking beside them. In a conversation filled with irony, the Lord asked what they were discussing as they walked along.
“One of them, named Cleopas, asked him, ‘Are you the only one visiting Jerusalem who does not know the
things that have happened there in these days?’” (Luke 24:18, New International Version).
Jesus responded coyly, “What things?” (v. 19).
They recounted the week’s dramatic events—how Jesus of Nazareth was condemned and crucified, but now reports were circulating that his tomb was empty. They said, “We had hoped that he was the one who would redeem Israel” (v. 21).
Notice their sad, wistful tone. They spoke of hope in the past tense.
“We had hoped,” they lamented—but their hopes were dashed when Jesus died on the cross. “We had hoped”—but their optimism had been replaced by fear and confusion.
Walking a little farther, Jesus taught those two disciples a Bible lesson they would never forget. “And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself” (v. 27).
And his lesson wasn’t finished. “As they approached the village to which they were going, Jesus continued on as if he were going farther ” (v. 28, emphasis added). The Lord always looks farther down the road than we do. His vision extends far beyond our own.
The two disciples urged Jesus to stay a while longer. As they broke bread together, they finally recognized who he was; and after he left, they trekked seven miles back to Jerusalem and reported, “It is true! The Lord has risen” (vv. 33-34).
Going the Extra Mile
The risen Lord has new lessons to teach us if we are willing to walk a little farther.
Enoch walked with God for 299 long years, but he still needed to keep walking one more year before the Lord took him away (Genesis 5:21-24).
If Job only enjoyed good health, abundant possessions, and a large happy family, we probably wouldn’t know his story at all. Job’s life became a lesson for the ages because he walked farther than expected down a pathway of suffering.
After leaving Egypt, the Hebrews could have made a beeline to Canaan and completed the trip in a few
weeks, but shortcuts often aren’t God’s preferred way of doing things. Israel’s stubborn disobedience turned the journey into 40 years of wandering, with many lessons to learn during the long trek to Canaan.
Jesus could have stayed in the relative safety of Galilee’s rolling hills and fertile farms, but he set his face toward Jerusalem and kept walking even when the road led to the cross.
In the book of Acts, thousands believed, repented, and were baptized into Christ, but the gospel wasn’t confined to Jews in Jerusalem. Persecution, the prompting of the Holy Spirit, and the providence of God pushed the disciples outside their comfort zones where they preached in far-flung places like Samaria, Turkey, Greece, and Rome. You and I probably wouldn’t have heard the gospel if those early Christians weren’t willing to walk a little farther.
Keep Walking
Has your faith become complacent? Is your lifestyle a bit too predictable and comfortable? Is the Lord nudging you to do more, give more, or risk more? Are there unreached people in your community you could befriend and serve in Jesus’ name, like the hundreds of neighbors who live in the apartment complex I discovered near my home? Are there mission fields right under your nose if you open your eyes to see them?
Have you been serving so long that you feel washedup, worn out, and weary in well-doing? Are you tired of leading? Tired of caring? Tired of dealing with other people’s problems (along with problems of your own)?
Hear the word of the Lord: “So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised” (Hebrews 10:35-36).
Don’t quit if the Lord wants you to walk a little farther.
Dave Faust serves as contributing editor of Christian Standard. He has written a weekly lesson application for our Bible study material for several years. Previously, he was editor of The Lookout magazine. Dave presently serves as senior associate minister with East 91st Street Christian Church in Indianapolis, Indiana.
