Melanz Magazine

MELANZ Anniversary Issue

Eastern Traditions For Life In The West

Cool Gifts Under $100

The Luxury Of H2O Mirror Mirror On The Wall A Marriage Story: Final Episode The Marriage Clock

Monthly Magazine

www.MelanzOnline.com

MELANZ Eastern Traditions For Life In the West Publisher Faruki & Company Managing Editor Annie Ghazi annie@faruki.cc

From the Editor’s Desk

Living Well Editor Sara Ghazi sghazi@MelanzOnline.com Know Your Neighbor Editor Robina Q. Khan DearMrsKhan@yahoo.com Nutrition Section Editor Roohe Ahmed, MPH / RD Roo490@hotmail.com Travel Section Editor Malathi Jivan Malathi.jivan@comcast.net Contributors Michaela Corning, Dr. Swati Desai LCSW, Chris Strunk M.D., Syed Faiz Qadri M.D., William A. Marcil M.D., Gerhardt Wagner Ph.D., Syeda Akhtar Advertising Inquiries Main Office Tel: (714) 757-0786 Chicago Pulication Director Farida Darugar (630) 379-8045 Houston, TX Representative Musarrat Jehan Ahmed (281) 213-83531 Michigan Representative Javeria Ahmed (248) 842-1460 Mailing Address P.O. Box 5172 Lynnwood, WA 98046.

Email: Info@MelanzOnline.com

Yes, the beginning of a new year puts that kind of spell on you, so you pull out that brand new calendar and mark all those special days with little notes and smileys. You kinda hope the past year’s dreary moments can be stuck in a box and hidden somewhere. Resolutions are the core for rejuvenating the mind and the soul.

The way I look at the year to come is new ideas and new opportunities for me and others. But there’s another kind of joy about looking at the past year. The uniqueness of it. The one instant or multiple instances that make it a year to remember. The theme becomes popular of spunkiest hairdos, or funniest incidences, or most cherished persons, and tastiest new diners of 2004. Yes, reminiscent of topical events for the twelve-months past can fill anyone’s scrapbook.

Now it’s Melanz’s turn to begin a whole new year and celebrate the past one. It has grown and matured in more ways than one, but wants to rejoice about the year to come! Join us in our First Anniversary Issue of Melanz Magazine.

Always, Annie

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

Copyright © 2005 Faruki & Company. Reproduction of any part or the entirety without the written permission of the publisher is strictly prohibited.The publisher assumes no responsibility for unsolicited content, articles, photographs, or illustrations.The views/opinions expressed by the writers/editors are not necessarily the views of Faruki & Company /MELANZ / and/or its partners/owners and accordingly no liability is assumed by the publisher thereof. All the stories and their characters are fictional unless mentioned otherwise. For healthcare, finance, and family counseling issues please refer to a related professional. MELANZ does not offer solutions to your specific problem and none of the articles should be taken as a solution by the readers. MELANZ is not responsible for errors or omissions. MELANZ/its partners/owners are not responsible for checking the accuracy of information provided by the advertisers. Advertising copy, logos, and artwork are the sole responsibility of individual advertisers, not of MELANZ. Printed in USA.

Ahh, the new year has finally arrived and fresh plans are forming for the time to come. The month helps you clean up your act or get rolling on a new project. It’s a great time to look back and ponder —— a perfect time to look forward and anticipate. Beginnings are something else, aren’t they?

Like the start of a new event, moment, or time; it has something particularly intriguing about it. It’s like that tingling sensation you feel before tearing open a wrapped gift. You don’t know what lies ahead, but know it will be wonderful.

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CONTENTS

features

Cool Gifts Under $100

12

Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Find the hottest items and the hottest deals right here!

Find the perfect mate for the walls in your home.

The Luxury Of H20

05

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

The amazing liquid you cannot live without.

02

09

departments

Sauce It Up:

04

LivingWell:

17

Simply Guacamole

Walk off those pounds

Leisure:

Travel: Making most of the Long Journey Home

23

Know Your Neighbor:

24

Stories For Your Lil’ One:

28

How well do you know other cultures?

The Poor Man

The Marriage Clock How culture and society influence your opinion on nuptual agreements.

A Marriage Story: Final Episode

26

FinanceABC:

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Kids and Finance: Part 2 Allocating allowances

19

A surprise ending that will shock everyone!

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

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Sauce it up

KBNB HALAL 209-367-1970

Simply Guacamole Your friends are stopping by for a cup of tea, but end up staying to watch a movie, and its mid-afternoon! What to eat? How about a simple dip to go with that unopened, bag of tortilla chips that is stuffed in the back of the pantry. It takes just a few minutes and has a perfect casual tone, and friends to share it with, makes it all the more fun!

Ingredients 2 avocados, pitted and taken out of the skin 1/2 of a small onion, chopped finely 1/2 cup chopped jalapenos 2 tbsp lemon juice Salt, to taste Ground black pepper, to taste

BRINGING TO YOUR TABLE, THE BEST HALAL CHICKEN YEAR AFTER YEAR

Utensils Fork, mixing bowl, serving bowl

Steps To Successful Cooking

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

1. Mash avocados with the fork in mixing bowl, until texture is as creamy as possible.

2. Add all other ingredients to avocado and mix well. Add more salt and pepper if needed.

3. Place in serving dish and serve with tortilla chips.

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Serving: 5 – 6 Cook Clock: 10 minutes

DOES YOUR GROCER CARRY QUALITY ZABIHA CHICKEN FROM KBNB?

Ask for KBNB halal meats by name.

KBNB serves ethnic stores, restaurants, and supermarkets in California.

Nut rition Nutrition

The Luxury Of H2 O

By Roohe Ahmed, MPH / RD

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

“Waatttttter, waaaterrrr….” We’ve all seen movie footages— the lone man in the desert, under the blazing sun, gasping for water, as he’s crawling over large sand dunes. Finally, he gets to his water canister, only to find that he has just one droplet of water left. Suddenly we feel thirsty; we go to our fridge and grab….Yes, what do we grab?? Deep down we all realize that water is the fluid of life. Although why is it that we take water for granted? Most people would rather drink a soda, juice, coffee, or tea than water. Kids would much rather drink juice any day over water, and parents tend to offer the juice and milk, especially at mealtimes. We all know the importance of water; even a 4 year old could tell you that everyone needs 8 glasses of water a day. Everywhere one goes, we see people toting water bottles. But, it doesn’t hurt to have a refresher course discussing not only the benefits of water, but common questions; welcome to Water 101…….

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Nutrition Water is extremely important to our body. Over 50% of an adult’s body is made up of water; about 75% of an infant’s body is composed of water. Our muscles are composed of 70% water, as well as 80% of our blood, which flows throughout the body delivering nutrients to the cells and carrying away waste products. Water lubricates our joints, softens skin, as well as acts as our cooling system as it moves heat to the skin where it then evaporates as sweat and in breath. When our body is temporarily short on water (dehydration), every organ in our body is affected; dehydration weakens the lymph system flow, which breaks down toxins and passes them into the blood stream, thereby making the body more prone to infection. With dehydration first we feel thirsty, then fatigue and weakness; therefore, when you’re feeling the pangs of thirst, you’re already on your way to being dehydrated, so drink up!

So how much water do I REALLY need?

We’ve all heard the mantra, “You must drink at least 8 glasses of water a day.” As stated above, even a 4 year old could probably regurgitate that saying. However, in actuality, we all need at least 8-12 cups of fluids each day (the exact amount depends per person and factors such as age, weight, etc). While at least half of our fluids should come from plain ol’ water, the other half can come from other beverages, soups, fruits, etc….

How do I know if my body is hydrated?

Thirst should not be the marker to let us know whether we are hydrated or not. Many people stop feeling thirsty when they have consumed about 67% of their body’s lost fluid. We can lose about two quarts of water before we realize that we’re really thirsty. Checking color of urine can indicate whether we are drinking enough fluids: if it is almost colorless or slightly yellow, most likely, you’re drinking enough fluids; but if it is darker than usual then drink increased water. Dry mouth, headaches, and lack of energy are also other good signs, as well as pinching the back of one’s hand; if your skin doesn’t go back into place right away, you are really dehydrated.

I or my family just don’t like how water tastes…

This is a common sentiment, especially amongst children. The following are some tips to help: > Dilute juice with water. Do so gradually at first, until you’re only putting in a very small amount of juice, and filling the rest of the cup with water > Freeze juice into ice cubes and add to water > Add citrus fruit slices to your water > Offer child water in fun cups or bottles that they can help pick out > Lead by example; carry a water bottle around with you > Discuss benefits of water with your family; show the kids how much sugar is in drinks by using sugar cubes

How can I drink more water?

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

Very easy—carry a water bottle around with you at all times. Store some water in the trunk of your car for when you’re on the go. Keep a pitcher next to your bed during the night in case you’re thirsty. Take water breaks during the day. Try to order water instead of soda while at a restaurant.

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FREE MATRIMONIAL AD For a limited time only, you may place a Matrimonial Advertisement in MELANZ Magazine for FREE! Email us your ad of up to 60 words to info@MelanzOnline.com today.

You MUST submit your full name, street address, and telephone number (separately) so that we can verify the advertisement. For more information or questions, visit us online at www.MelanzOnline.com or call us at

(714) 757-0786.

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

This offer is valid for private party ads only. Offer expires January 31, 2005.

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Nutrition What’s the difference between tap water and bottled water?

Here’s the low down on some of the varieties of water we can find as we stroll down our neighborhood grocery stores’ aisles. > Purified water: all potential contaminants in the water have been filtered out; however, this doesn’t mean the water is sterile, so still boil water for newborns and those with immunity issues. > Drinking water: regular tap water. > Sparkling water: water that has been naturally carbonated > Mineral water: water containing only the natural minerals from its underground source > Spring water: natural underground water that comes to the surface When reading those water bottles, examine the source of the water. Don’t get drawn in by fancy pictures on the bottles or other marketing gimmicks.

Is the water really coming from the mountains as fresh mountain spring water, or is it just tap water that has been purified? If you can’t figure it out, feel free to call the 1-800 number listed on the bottle. Bottlers of water are usually members of the International Bottled Water Association.

Bottled water is regulated by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) who requires that the label identify the source of water. Tap water is regulated by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) as well as state governments.The International Bottled Water Association is composed of 85% of bottled water processors and the organization states that it has stricter codes than the EPA regulations; members have to submit to an unannounced yearly inspection by a third party tester. So theoretically, bottled water has a slight safety edge over tap water. But for sure, nearly all of bottled waters are chlorine-free. Bottled, distilled water is the cleanest water you can buy.

But is my tap water safe?

The Safe Drinking Water Act which was passed in 1974 and amended twice, the last time in 1996, requires that the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) to set a maximum allowable level of contaminants in tap water (municipal water) and to periodically monitor compliance. In order to know whether or not you’re drinking safe water, you can check the source by calling local water utility officials. If you are uneasy about drinking tap water, you can filter water via a water-purification system, carafe filters which mirror the concept of coffee pot filters by filtering the water as it pours into a pitcher, etc….

Even though we are in the midst of winter and it’s not hot, still consider water a vital option in your food and beverage repertoire. Follow the tips above to try to incorporate it into your lifestyle, as well as your children’s.

They will thank you for it!

Roohe Ahmed is a Public Health Nutritionist and can be reached at Roo490@hotmail.com.

Home Decor HomeDecor

Mirror Mirror On The Wall...

My Style Center Who’s the fairest of them all? Well it all depends on the mirror doesn’t it?! From round to iron-rod, these reflective wall hangings create a theme of their own. One of the best ways to tackle decorating style is through accessories and mirrors qualify as one of the best largescale accents for your room. They provide the illusion of a larger space and are distinctly style oriented. And finding your decorating style mainly depends on three aspects: color, texture, and figure. These details are easily detectable in mirrors, which makes them an ideal accent to learn from. Finding your complimentary design theme can’t get easier than this!

The Tropical Color: dark browns, sage green Texture: wicker, bamboo, scaly, layered Figure: large-scale, straight edge, rectangular The tropical theme focuses on natural elements and large accessories. Collections of small groups of pieces are avoided this way, which would have created a cluttered look. The feeling of freshness and naturally tropical surroundings are endorsed by the calm and warm colors of the jungle.

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

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Knock’Em Down Want to get ahead of your competition?

Then you gotta do better at marketing.

We Offer Professional Marketing Services For Your Business. Our services include: - Food Marketing - Newsletters - Advertising & Logo Design - Business Cards - Marketing for Medical Offices - Direct Mailing Call us today for all of your marketing needs. We serve nationwide!

Faruki & Company Phone: 425.745.3525 Email: info@faruki.cc

Home Decor HomeDecor

The Casual Color: neutral tones, browns, warm, matte finish (not shiny at all) Texture: softly curved, simple details Figure: medium-scale, rectangular (but is not exactly symmetric) Casual means comfortable and cozy. It allows people to feel welcome and put at ease. Through informal and basic outlines, accessories tend to be mismatched and unobtrusive. Edges are soft and simple so they set into the casual mood and make a home really feel like home.

The Traditional Color: muted gold, sets well with other pieces in the room.

Texture: few fussy details, soft curves Figure: classic lines, ornate design, light carvings Traditional is predictable and sets the room in an orderly fashion.

Accents are precisely symmetric with other pieces in the room and furnishings are matching sets. Items are non-jarring and fit accurately into the picture. Colors are neither too shiny nor too provocative, and fit the ordinary color palette of light back drops and darker accents.

COLOR CORNER Arranging a room according to specific styles requires color. Many styles use similar colors and palettes, but it’s the dose of color that differentiates one theme from another. When you think of the color green, you may think of something dark and bold; the person next to you is probably thinking the complete opposite. Colors have a variety of hues and these hues define each decorating style in a very significant way. Since we’re on the subject of green, let’s get a better understanding of design style through color.

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

Tropical Green: from Light Sage to Avocado to Yellow-Green. Elements of a true jungle theme!

Casual Green: deep green, such as Bottle Green or Cucumber Skin Green.

Traditional Green: general Grass Green or Matte Green. It’s the original Crayola Crayon Green.

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Cover Story

Cool Gifts Under $100 Gift giving is a tricky task, but this year we’ve got the number one solutions for you. The year 2004 blasted off with great themes and a bundle of awesome products. Now at it’s close we’re looking back and seeing what’s hot and still under $100. These ticketed items are the number one MELANZ picks.

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

A great way to reminisce about the year past is by popping in those memorable DVD’s into one of the highest quality DVD player’s of the year. As our best picked and under budget electronic item, Sony’s sleek and stylish DVD/ CD player makes its mark.

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Cost: $89.99 Available at: Sears Model: DVP-NS575P Compatible with Recorded DVD discs, 12 bit 54 MHZ Video D/A converter.

Cover Story

It’s the multi-purpose kit that will sharpen that garden tool, engrave on glass, polish dishes and cut wood.

Welcome the Dremel 400 rotary tool, it’s your best friend in time of home improvement needs. One base and massive accessories are a great packaged deal that’ll keep that man in the house very happy!

Cost: $79.97 Available At: Lowes Model: 400 Series XPR Includes 3 attachments and 51 accessories

Car not starting? It’s winter season, it can happen. A few cars not starting? Problem solved…

Schumacher’s very own Instant Power Automotive Jump Starter has the fuel to jump up to 30 vehicles! This rechargeable machine is great for long trips, short trips or just quick trips. Easy to handle and no other car necessary to restart the vehicle!

Cost: $89.99 Available At: Sears Model PS 400 3A Portable. Powerful. Ready To Go. Multi-Purpose.

12 volt DC and 110 Volt AC Power Source

Frames not sitting straight? How about those mirrors you just put up? A little crooked are they? Well glance over and find the handyman of your dreams. This little laser specified level machine is just what you need to put a straight edge along any wall in your home. Created

by Craftsman, this 4-in-1leveler is ideal for any in-home project.

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

Cost: $29.99 Available at: Sears Includes 3 special mounting bases, laser enhancing glasses, and carrying case Accuracy can reach up to 30 feet in length; can be mounted on tripod as well (not included)

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Cover Story

You’re young and always on the go, don’t have much to carry and want to look spiced up. This sensible and sleek Nine West purse kit has to be the number one pick.

With it’s personalized initials and standout shades, you will definitely look trend friendly.

Cost: $55.00 Available At: Bon-Macy’s Includes cell phone case and lipstick pouch for those last minute touch ups

Hitting the road? Bring back the 60’s and make a great fashion statement with Liz Claiborne’s Downtown handbag. The texture, the leather and the shiny appeal have a true standout look and the space for all your little accessories.

Cost: $50.00 Available At: Bon-Macy’s Style: HBRUAO42 Color: Black

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

Bright and bedazzling is the theme. Though summer hasn’t caught up yet, this 2004 basket style purse is prettier than a pinch. Rest over your wrist or hang off your shoulder, Nine West’s Club Hoppers signature purse has to be on your “To Get” list.

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Cost: $62.00 Available At: Bon-Macy’s Includes wallet, cell phone pouch, and key ring

Cover Story

Mail’s stacking up and so are the bills. Don’t have time to file them away right now, but need some sort of system to ease the process… you’re in luck! This 31slot bill organizer can chase your headaches away. With the ability to look great and presentable in your office or at the kitchen shelf, this mahogany colored collector puts the organizing bug in you at complete ease!

Cost: $19.99 Available at: Target Can be used for stationary supplies as well. Has a small drawer for small items such as paper clips and pens.

Make your bathroom the luxury spa you’ve been dreaming about. Create a clutter free atmosphere with all the essentials hidden away with Decorative Living’s spa stool. This storage + relaxation piece provides soothing tones and natural elements. It’s what you need for that ultimate time-off.

Cost: $79.99 Available At: Linen N’ Things Color: Dark Maize Includes lift out tray Dimensions: 29.5 x 19 x 17.5 H

Small spaces create lots of mess, especially when necessary items such as books and shoes are overloading cramped closets. Solution? Trones’ simple and strategic storage unit is wall mountable and the perfect space saver. Stage your contemporary sense of style with this vibrant make-shift element.

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

Cost: $14.95 Available At: Ikea Color: Green Can be used for storing shoes, books, toys and other items Mounts easily with screws (not included)

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Cover Story

Learning to be a leader, motivating oneself to achieve life goals… it takes more than just the chanting of “I think I can, I think I can,” to get there. Steven Covey has accelerated the meaning of setting your life straight through his wonderful and awe-inspiring book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” Read on and master your abilities!

Cost: $14.00 Available At: Barnes & Noble By: Steven R. Covey

Do you know what to expect at an interview? How to clean the home? How to act around “certain” crowds?

Well, Samantha Ettus has the solutions and the basic steps to making the simple things in life more understandable. Plunge your nose into “The Expert’s Guide to 100 Things Everyone Should Know How To Do.” Cost: $19.99 Available At: Borders Books & Music By: Samantha Ettus

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

If you’re reading this, you know that as the most significant South Asian lifestyle magazine, Melanz can’t be beat! Share the knowledge, the excitement, the wonders and the tastes with other loved ones! Handing over our first year’s editions as a memento and keepsake will surely be appreciated.

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Cost: Get 5 one-year subscriptions for $84.75!

Available At: MelanzOnline.com or call 714-757-0786

Living Well LivingWell

Walk Off Those Pounds By: Sara Ghazi

My New Year’s Resolution: No More Messing Around—Lose That Weight You can only imagine the regulations of complicated diets which count calories, carbs, and sugars for each meal.

Likewise, the expensive passes to the gym, purchase of heavy work out-equipment, or the time required for watching and learning from a work out tape. “There’s gotta be a simpler, more promising way to lose weight,” we may think to ourselves, and the truth is—there is.

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

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Living Well LivingWell

Pilates, South Beach, Low Carb—we’ve looked too far—the simpler solution was right in front of our faces, and we were already doing it, we just needed to do more of it. What I’m referring to is simply, walking. It’s easy to incorporate walking into your day, especially because it’s a natural mode of transportation, and it may save you time when looking for parking or waiting for an elevator. Walking for about an hour per day is ideal, it can burn 300-500 calories per day (do that for about 10 days to lose a pound—that’s 3 lbs a month!). Experts claim that walking 10,000 steps per day (about one hour) will lower your blood pressure, reduce your risk of heart disease and breast cancer. It’s virtually costless, and doesn’t require any gadgets or gear…what could be better than that? You could weigh 35 pounds less, this same time next year by making a 60-minute walk routine your new year’s resolution to weight loss.

So how do you know if you’re walking fast enough? Use this checklist to determine whether or not your walking is effectual.

•

Pump your arms. Keep your elbows at 90 degrees and swing your arms back and forth in a natural motion to add intensity.

•

Shorten your stride. All of the power of your walk comes from pushing with the back leg and foot.

When you increase your speed, take shorter, quicker steps.

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Stand up straight. Are you slumping? Good posture helps you breathe easier and you put less stress on your back, shoulders and neck.

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Walk briskly. What is brisk? It means walking fast enough to cover at least 3.5 miles in an hour. To figure it all out, walk a mile and time it. If you make it in 15 minutes or less, you’re on the right track.

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Monitor your intensity. Pretend as though you’re late for an appointment or hurrying to catch a bus. That should be your pace throughout the workout.

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Walk long enough. Your walk should be between 30-60 minutes.

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Spice things up. How about adding some hills, speed-walking or even jogging to boost intensity? This is no time to stop and smell the roses (although you can enjoy their lovely color as you whisk by).

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Why walk alone? – grab a friend, child, or even your spouse and use this time to chat without any distractions. Walking with another person will keep you motivated and time will fly faster while you are wrapped up in conversation.

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

Another question you might ponder over is,” how do I know how many calories I’m burning if I walk for one hour?”

The answer is simple. You can burn an average of 300 calories in 30 minutes. That’s one hundred calories every ten minutes! That’s enough walking to burn off three chips ahoy chocolate chip cookies or that strawberry pop-tart you had for breakfast this morning.

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While walking, don’t forget to have a drink of water every few minutes (eight ounces every half to one hour). Not only will drinking water keep you hydrated but it will also contribute to your weight loss by flushing out the calories you burn. Now that you are ready to begin your journey to a leaner, fitter, healthier you, grab a bottle of water and make a toast to walking and its numerous benefits towards your health and your life.

Lei sure Leisure

Final Episode

A MARRIAGE STORY

By Annie Ghazi Chapter12: The Coincidence The morning lazily shifted into gear as the grey sky let loose buckets of heavy rain. Puddles merged on the back deck that lay just below Fiza’s gaze. Standing near the window pane that swung ever so slightly, she watched the apple tree branches brush up against the splintered fence wall. The paneling shook vigorously from the slightest movement, but held on as the ground supported it’s weight. And just beyond that hill were patches of missing grass, drowned by the relentless down pour.

What if we had just stayed… could this all have been avoided… maybe it would have been easier if she didn’t know. Fiza shook her head, trying to force the thoughts from her mind. His name isn’t Sameer, anyway! The sun’s sharp rays broke through the cluster of clouds and Fiza quickly took heed of it. She rolled over her bed and pushed the curtains aside to welcome the lucency. The phone was only a few inches away now, situated near a plethora of books. It gawked at Fiza, making her muscles tense and eyes billow. He’ll listen, just call him. It will be fine. The mental preparation soothed her apprehended mind, but fell short of controlling her trembling hands.

With a leap of faith she grabbed the receiver, and prayed her voice would somehow manage to gurgle out of her throat.

Two rings later, Umar’s voice melodiously questioned, “Hello?”

Remarkably Fiza’s senses took action, allowing the words to roll out. She greeted Umar rather timidly, but got straight to the point, “We’ve both been through more than we could handle since the shooting. It’s time a decision be made, so we can settle this matter.”

“I think that will provide a little ease to both parties.”

Fiza didn’t respond to her husband’s remark. She fidgeted with the cord and took a deep breath before saying, “It’s necessary that you come down here so we can talk.” Umar homologated with Fiza that he’d arrive in an hour and half. >>>

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

Fiza recognized the rattling of dishes from the window beneath to be her mother’s morning breakfast routine.

Her father’s keys jingled in his pockets as he pounced down the stairs, ready to start the day. There will never be a good time for this, thought Fiza. Her decision was intact just as it had been the night before. The phone, which sat across the room from her, was covered with a layer of dust. Her mother must have avoided entering this room with her half-sunken heart. The black-coiled earpiece seemed to beckon to her. It was time to make the call, but her legs seemed frozen. She trained her mind to at least consider sitting on the bed.

Awkwardly so, Fiza managed to grab hold of the nightstand and plunged onto the mattress. If it was this difficult to call, how would she ever say this face to face? Thoughtfully, Fiza hugged her knees and let her head rest against them.

Her mind drifted to that particular day in Spain, during her honeymoon…

It was their second week in Spain and they had just spent most of their morning walking down the city streets of Madrid.

The man at the breakfast café, not more than a block from where they stood, had told Fiza that she looked happier than ever.

Fiza’s response to that was an enigmatic smile. She had sat nibbling on her Spanish breakfast cake, dazing at the crisp summer sky. She imagined herself coming to this tiny Mediterranean café every morning. Just walking from across the street, where her home would be … a cozy apartment tucked away in the scener y of the enchanting town. Even Sameer had offered to cancel their return flight and start a fresh life in a new town amongst a new culture. He was just as excited about making Madrid their home. During their walk they had chosen the apartment near the flower shops as their first home and decided that she would work full time until they were completely settled.When the two reached a painter’s shop, Sameer picked out a unique depiction of the central market, hued with bright reds and orange; it was just as colorful as the atmosphere there. Fiza teased him to be indifferent to living there, but it caught Sameer off-guard and instantly responded with a, “Well I thought this would be a great way to bring the outside in for our new place. What do you think?” Fiza laughed uncontrollably. She knew it would be terribly difficult to just jump to such a change, especially since they had wed not too long ago. She reassured Sameer that she wasn’t ready to leave her family and hometown just yet and that Spain wasn’t going anywhere.They could come back in a few years and settle down right here, in this very town.

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Lei sure Leisure This would give Fiza enough time to prepare her parents for the news. After her conversation, Fiza suddenly grew weary from the thought of what was to come in the hours ahead. A soft knock on the door restored Fiza’s stamina; she walked towards the front of the room and let Kiran in.

“Good morning. I was hoping I could get a few minutes with you before I left.”

“Left? For where?”

“Fiza, I’m going back to Denver. My flight leaves in a few hours. Listen, I think I’ve done enough damage to our and friendship and before I trash whatever’s left of it I want to say I’m sorry. And I think staying here will just make our relationship worse before it gets better,” Kiran looked away tearfully, “I never intended to deceive you or hurt our friendship… but what I did wasn’t right.

I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.” Fiza leaped toward her friend with open arms. The two rested

their backs against the bed and discussed their dreams and expectations for each other. Fiza longed to confide in someone about her heart’s desires and her resolution about the marriage.

Because of the tense atmosphere in the home, Kiran didn’t even seem to be the likely candidate for that, but now that they have restored their friendship Fiza knew she was the only one to depend on.

A while later the two friends walked into the kitchen with a smile. Seema glanced up at them from the cutting board and remarked,“I see you two have kissed and made up.” The women giggled like little girls and pushed aside the past incidents.

Then Fiza looked earnestly at her mother, “I need to talk to you and Baba, its very important.” Seema knew it had to do with the marriage and quickly excused herself to find her husband. *

*

*

A hot shower and fresh pair of clothes seemed luxurious to Umar, after days of sponge baths. His wound had not healed, but Umar left the wheel chair days ago to avoid too much dependency.

He became accustomed to limping his way around, especially since no else gave a second thought about his wounds.

After making a few eggs and grabbing the freshly toasted bread from the toaster, Umar returned to his bed and began stuffing his mouth with his breakfast. As he flipped through the channels on TV, he noticed some breaking news and scrolled back to the local station. As the newscaster unraveled the devastating news that was shown the night before, Umar scurried his brows. Simultaneously, the phone buzzed near his side of the bed.

Diverted from the screen, Umar turned and mumbled into the receiver, “Hello?”

“Umar, my son? Is it really you?”

“Aunt Tara? Oh Lord! How did you get this number… yes this is Umar…

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Lei sure Leisure where are you … how are you?” Umar couldn’t believe it. It was his aunt from Michigan; he hadn’t spoken to her in years. An overwhelming feeling came over Umar as he remembered his loving family, whom he had to leave behind after going into the witness protection.

Apparently her aunt had received a call from a police agent, who gave her Umar’s contact information. Umar was so relieved to talk to someone from his past, a loved one of his own. They shared tears and joy altogether over the phone. Umar promised to get on a flight during the week to come see them. He missed them so much and all of a sudden felt like he belonged again. It was a burst of inspiration. Perhaps he’d even take Fiza along. *

*

*

Seema pulled Maher into the living room, quietly scolding him for not leaving his tools more quickly. She cautiously looked around the room and restated Fiza’s request. He paused for a moment, then peered into his wife’s eyes. They were both concerned about Fiza’s critical decision.

She leaned forward to hold onto her parents’ hands. She bowed her head and softly spoke,“I know what has happened has caused extreme pain to both of you.

I love you two more than anyone in the world, you have after all given me everything. I respect your feelings and though I cannot prevent hurt on both sides, I have come to resolution…”

Seema and Maher sat almost breathless in anticipation. They could almost see the words sitting on the tip of Fiza’s tongue. Her glazed sight looked up at them and quivering lip settled as she announced,“I’m going to leave Umar and this is more for me than it is for the

both of you. So, please don’t try to talk me out of it. I have asked him to come over, so he should be here in a short while. I will stand firm on my decision, I will divorce him.” *

*

*

After hanging up the phone, Umar jumped out of bed, only to wince at the sharp pain that went through his ribs.

“Don’t get too excited,” he said to himself.

Moments after Umar settled the dishes into the sink, the doorbell rang. When Umar answered, no one was there. He stood back for a minute thinking oddly about the bell ringing. He slowly swung the door to close when a harsh blow threw it back open again! The men didn’t wait even a second and pulled out their guns. Bullets flew through the air and hit their target. The door was slammed shut and heavy footsteps >>>

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

“Perhaps, we should listen entirely to what she has to say.This way she is heard and we have time to digest whatever she throws at us,” pondered Maher.

Seema nodded her head in agreement.

The couple headed back to the family room and saw Kiran and Fiza enjoying a quiet breakfast.They looked happy and the two elders did not want to take that away from them, so they headed out to the porch and enjoyed the merciful rain that washed away leaves and dirt from the driveway. Hussam joined his parents after a small hunt throughout the house and gleamed when he saw the two share laughter.

He sat with them and spoke about his childhood and the dog that chased him all the way to the main street. Soon Maher’s thoughts returned to Fiza and he signaled Seema to follow him.

Hussam said his good-byes as he settled in his car and headed off to work.

Ameer had joined the young women by this time and had his nose in the daily newspaper. Seema beckoned Fiza to come to her. Soon the three Bawani’s entered into the living room and took their seats. Fiza sat across from her parents in order to face them while she revealed her thoughts.

21

Lei sure Leisure pounded the porch stairs and swiftly passed through the front lawn.

Inside, inches from the rattling door, red marks were splattered along the walls and pools of blood soaked the stairway carpet. A limp and lifeless body lay awkwardly atop the stained wood floor.

Umar’s dark eyes reflected the light from beyond, unflinching.

Chapter 13: A Proper Good-Bye The billowing wind hadn’t given up as it ran its currents through the mountains and across the ocean. The shimmering sand twirled like a girl dressed up as a ballerina. It’s been exactly three years since the phone call that shattered Fiza’s future and reported Umar’s death. She had waited for him all day and all night.

The day broke once more only to sweep sadness into Fiza’s life. They never did find the murderers…how numbly they took a

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life, without any consideration. She now looked around her, at the vast, endless earth. The only shear difference was the strains of blue between the sky and the wicked waters.

Calmness had finally penetrated Fiza’s heart as she realized her life was meant to be without him. It was the guilt of leaving him by himself that still ate her inside. The scent of salt coated her surroundings. She stood and shrugged off the pecks of white sand and sunk her feet as she slowly climbed up the slant hill of the beach. As she reached the parking lot, Fiza slipped on her peach-colored flip-flops and clicked the car-alarm to unlock the vehicle door. She propped up onto the seat and swerved out into the lot. She told her mother she’d be visiting them soon. Living with them was no longer necessary as solitude fit better with Fiza, after the loss. She had moved into a small apartment near her work. Upon nearing

her parents’ neighborhood, a flash of memories tumbled into the car with the breeze. The balcony of La Panaderia, fresh raison bread in hand, she had asked her husband what he’d do if she was no longer with him. His reply was that as much as he loved her, he’d move on because that’s what Fiza would want.

She smiled because he took the words right out of her mind.The sun was rising from the east and the beautiful pink hues flowed out of sight like a lustrine.

Fiza’s lips formed a soft smile as she felt the tune of happiness once more.

Her fate was unknown, but her mind and heart, once again, were in control.

She hadn’t even tried to look at the body that night at the morgue; she didn’t have the courage to leave him behind. Now it was the only way to be at peace with the loss and she said, “Good-bye Umar. May you never be forgotten, but always be loved. I will move on, just as you’d want me to.”

Lei sure Leisure Travel

The Long Journey Home By: Malathi Jivan With a lot of us making trips home over the holidays, tips that can make the journey home fun, are in vogue.

For all of us, traveling back to see our families is a joyous event-if only you could factor out the jet lag and long travel weariness, things would be perfect. Here are a few tried and tested techniques to make the trip enjoyable no matter how long it takes to get home: o Set your watch to the local time of your destination.

This way, you’ll be mentally in sync with the time there. o Calculate the offset from that time at each stopover. o Try to sleep as much as you can on the flight- especially on the longest leg. o Carrying a change of clothes and taking a shower whenever you get a chance on the way, is always a good idea. o Avoiding oily foods before getting on the plane can save you a lot of air-sickness and heartburn. o Carrying your own special neck pillow will help you sleep better. o Walking as much as you can during stopovers prevents clots and helps stretch your legs. o Carrying mint helps give you a fresh feeling and of course, makes your travel companions happy too. o Sightseeing on the way- any tourist activity -gives you the feeling of already being on a vacation. o Carrying light hand baggage- might not seem like much but try toting a heavy bag without wheels around for 48 hours, you’ll never repeat it! o Eye mask-most airlines provide them- you can carry your own too. This way, if your insomniac seat-neighbor insists on having his or her reading light on, you can still get some shut-eye.

Do you have any special travel tips to share? Do email them to us!

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

23

Know YourNeighbor

HO W MUC H DO Y OU KN OW AB OUT HOW MUCH YOU KNO ABOUT OTHER CUL TURES? CULTURES? How much do you know about cultures around the world? Test your knowledge and look for the correct answers online at www.MelanzOnline.com!

The world’s most populated country is? a. Canada b. China c. India

d. France

What are the official languages of Morocco? a. French and Spanish b. French and Arabic

c. Arabic and SpanishMoroccan

Before you enter a Japanese home you must, a. pray b. eat something

c. put out a candle

d. take off your shoes

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

If living in the mountains of Nepal, what won’t you be eating for dinner? a. Achar b. Cheese c. Beef d. Rice

24

What is the main source of nomadic survival in Mongolia? a. gathering wood b. selling pottery c. herding livestock In Haiti, people commonly practice this type of religion. a. Voodoo b. Daoism c. Christianity d. Judaism

d. hunting

Know YourNeighbor Because Chileans reflect their work hours upon their meals, they usually eat this many times a day. a. 2 b. 6 c. 3 d. 4 One of a. b. c. d.

the dresses that Somali women traditionally wear is?

Direh, a long, billowing dress worn over petticoats Loose pants and long shirts Poncho, a sleeveless shawl like sweater Abaya, a long loose dress that falls to the floor

Young Australian surfers are known as, a. Packers b. Surfers c. Dolphins d. Nippers At the end of winter, Russians have a Maslyanitsa or Pancake Week. It is a special week that occurs right before Lent. This week is also known as, a. cheese week b. food week c. week before Lent d. apple week In Punjabi a massi is actually this relative to the mother. a. sister b. mother c. friend d. brother Tibetans believe the Dalai Lama to be their highest and most respected spiritual leader. The title of the Dalai Lama was first given to Sonam Gyatso by this Mongolian Prince. a. Mongurr Aimag b. Altan Khan c. Erdene d. Kokochu Before Canada became Canada, there lived aboriginals who were from these native tribes. a. Kickapoo and Kaw b. Apache and Chitimacha c. Metis and Inuit d. Modac and Sioux A famous Angolan cuisine called Mufete de Cacuso is known in English as this seafood. a. sea scallop b. tilapia fish c. oyster d. red snapper

Just $16.95 for 12 issues* Get it now online at

www.MelanzOnline.com * U.S. only. Plus sales tax where applicable.

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

Because of the importance of saints, a big Greek tradition is to celebrate this day more than birthdays. a. name days b. valentine’s day c. independence day d. new years

25

Fam ily Family

The Marriage Cl

ck

By Annie Ghazi

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

In the back of a little girl’s mind, she has come across the thought of marriage.

Whether it be related to a big beautiful dress she’ll wear or the magical horse she’ll rid off on with her husband. As time turns and these young children grow into adults, the concept of nuptial agreements has been coated with micro and macro influences.Typically marriage between two people is not really between two people.

It involves the thoughts and emotions of many other individuals and processes.

Whether it be a parent or the government, you alone are not the only one who has a say in the marriage process.

But family and the constitution are far from being the only other hierarchical factors in choosing a mate and the appropriate time for saying, “I do.”

Culture, cohort, puberty, and other life events are highly involved in the way people perceive appropriate timings for certain events, such as marriage.

26

Social and physical times are often blurred by society and it’s because of one main reason: the fact that we have internalized so many aspects of social time. Physical time is, simply put, a fixed and uninfluenced turn of events. For instance, the speed of light… it is something that is not created or molded by humans. Do you suppose time is physical? It has physical aspects to it doesn’t it… it seems fixed, unchangeable? But as surprising as it may be, time is not physical, rather it is quite the social framework. Humans made 60 minutes and called it an hour, then decided 24 hours will complete a day and 7 days will complete a week. A proper comparison to the influence from society on time is the mark in history, during the French Revolution, when 10-day weeks were marked. Though this idea did not last long, the idea confirms societal

dependence on social and economical tides. Even mental age is socially susceptible to change. This is crucial to point out because of the differences in culture we will further discuss from east to west.

In our previous issue, a short survey applied the theor y of appropriate timelines for life events. Based on your opinion, you either agreed or disagreed to the statements. Now, we will discuss the reasoning behind certain social opinions and how the Western Social Clock (WSC) differs from the South Asian Social Clock (SASC).

The Macro System Children in the US begin school at age 5.

Children in Pakistan begin at age 3 or 4.

Most European countries end primary education at the age of 16. Students in the US receive their high school diplomas at the age of 18. Voting rights are given to young ones at the age of 18, as well, here.

The legal age to get married without parental consent, in most American states, is 18. In China its 22 for men and 20 for women.

Legislation, amendments, public access to certain levels of achievement. They all play an astounding role in an individual’s life, decisions, and perceptions. The law proposing statutory rape states that if a man (18 years +) has physical (even though consensual) relations with a 16year old girl, it construes immoral and illegal behavior. How many of you know of a 16-year old female who married an 18+ year old male? I can name one, and both the individuals and their parents consented to it… with joy. This couple has been married now for over 7 years

and has 3 wonderful children. Does it make it immoral? Perhaps the influences of statutory rape or legal-age-to-bemarried-laws do make it immoral, but what if these laws were different? Or didn’t exist at all. Sometimes all it has to do with is perception.

In China, the lawful ages to marry are much higher than in America, but maybe it has to do with the political and economical situation that the government faces. As the most populated country in the world, China’s government has tried to restrict the number of children allowed to be born in the nation, but there are other ways to reduce reproduction. Some solutions? Later marriage… more time to think about one’s career. More time to think about career… less one wants a family. More goals for a career … the less time for family. Not to say they won’t want one eventually and seek one eventually, it’s just that their reproductive clock will be reduced and Chinese women will not have enough time to have more than a couple offsprings. As you can see age plays a major role in molding the social clock.

Age specified laws and social policies can predetermine a nation’s or culture’s social clock and control certain life events.

The Micro System Later Marriage or Avoidance of Marriage Your kin is your first social connection to the world. Your most influential connection until you’re able to attend school. Sometimes siblings or parents lose spouses through death or divorce or other extreme separations. Manytimes, even coincidently, more than one member of your kin experience separation from

Fam ily Family their spouses. It’s devastating to the ones who aren’t married and can cause these individuals to have second thoughts about matrimony or just avoid it altogether, for they fear to fall into the same tragic trap.

The pain that is linked to losing a mate is much more than the fear of marriage itself.

Later marriage can also result from what priorities your family has, such as finishing your education, or acquiring a goodpaying job, or marrying other family members off before it’s your turn. But of course, all boats (family members) on the loading dock (in the home) must perceive the same bait (priorities), to make the plan fall through.

In western families, especially suburban families, people are apt on settling their careers and achieving their goals (be they business or pleasure) before settling down with a family. This can include pursuing a four-year degree, landing a job with full benefits or successful career, having money saved up for marriage, the ability and status to buy a home if necessary, traveling across the world, or other life quests. The term “living life to the fullest” often excludes responsibilities of other people and is centered to fulfilling one’s own dreams.

Early Marriage Why do many South Asian parents pressure young adults to think about marriage? Well, though marriage is a huge deal, there are other life events that parents want to prevent and protect in the coming future.Young adults are usually the most common prey for drugs, violence, crime and exploitation. It’s a true fact and common even in the most affluent parts of the world. These are the types of unpredictable events parents want to avoid, especially if they’re in a foreign land amongst unknown culture and language barriers. It’s why marriage is seen as a covenant that protects young minds from these lewd acts. It’s not always true, but it does put ease to the minds of parents who seek safety and good for their offspring in today’s world.

Another life event that sits in the back of the average South Asian’s mind is their own future… when they become too old and dependent of physical and emotional support. The sooner a child marries, the more likely he or she is to settle down financially and literally, and the sooner they are able to provide support to their parents, when and if they need it.

—— This is another cultural difference interruption notice—— In western culture, a good lot of parents may not mind if their children marry later in life, especially if they are accomplishing other life goals. But it’s not just because of these goals, that parents let loose, it’s also about enjoying their own retirement in the future, and not having to depend on their offspring.

I met a very inspiring lady during one of my undergrad internships. She was a retired, widowed, woman who would come into the resource center I interned at about 2 days a week. She’d stay for 4 hours each day and help with phone consultations and other agency work. We

became friends quickly because of her cheery and most energetic lifestyle. Now you might be picturing some thin, athletic 65-year-old from a commercial like Lipitor, but she was just the opposite.

Simply put, she fit the perfect description of a classic American grandmother.

Chubby figure, short hair, wrinkled skin, but a charming smile. She was all around beautiful.This woman was part of a group through the gerontology department on my campus, as I came to find out. She played tennis every other day, visited other elderly people, took classes to learn other languages and different subjects.

She traveled to distant places every few weeks and kept herself entertained. It really made me look at myself and where I’d be at the age of 65. Many elderly in the west live like this, but of course not all. Still, in comparison to the South Asian elderly, they have quite the upbeat approach.

In homes across South Asia, a good batch of elderly folk, especially those ablebodied and willful, sit back and hope for death to come quick and sweetly. It’s a tune many even joke about. They indulge in the comforts of their children’s home and for this reason, if not others, they seek a mate for these children at such young ages. It is customary for elderly to be less active and more modest in their lifestyle; to even go as far as feeling older than they really are. A lot of it may also have to do with the hard work they subdued during their own youth, the overload of micro and macro expectations that burden many 3rd world citizens. At the end of it all, elderly in lessaccommodated lifestyles, ask for more rest and less excitement.

In our next issue we will continue to discuss the social and cohort aspects of the “Marriage Clock” and also have a few thoughts from young adults living through the drama of “Rishtas (proposals).”

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

In a South Asian family the oldest sibling may marry much later, if one or both of the parents are deceased, and he or she takes the responsibility of marrying off the other siblings first. This is very common with lower/ middle class families because of social pressures. Higher education is also becoming more and more common in middle and upper class families, which compels students to push marriage off to a later time, especially for women. The reason for this is many women are not supported to continue their education after marriage because looking after a husband and/or household is priority #1, but this is not true for all.

In fact, I myself as a South Asian am an example of a wife and mother who finished my college degree, successfully

and with full support from my husband and in-laws.

27

Story For Your Lil’ One

The Poor Man By: Nea

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

One dark winter night, there was a large figure standing behind the tree. The figure didn’t move much, but the sound of his heavy snoring made many little children in the neighborhood quite curious. One of the children, named Aziz, crawled out of his bed and perched up against the windowsill. He squinted as much as he could just to get a glimpse of the creature that kept him wide awake. Perhaps he would get very angry if Aziz told his parents of the disruption, so he dared not waken them.

Below Aziz’s room was the curtain dressed window of Tara, Aziz’s neighbor. Tara was also sleepless because of the loud noise that the creature made. She would hide behind the frilly curtains and wonder why the creature didn’t sleep in his own home. After all didn’t his parents worry about him and want him to sleep in his own bed.

28

Just across the way, in the tiny town of Tunsania, burned a small candle in the window of two other small children.

They were the Ali twins, Mohsin and Mahmoud and didn’t dare make a peep, as they were just as frightened by the loud sounds made from the figure. Two windows down from them sat another little girl, Sana, letting only traces of wet droplets escape from her eyes. She wasn’t alone though, her older sisters Muniza and Mariam sat watchfully.They held their younger sister close and hoped some adult would awaken from the constant snoring and keep the creature out of town.

Tunsania stirred too, rubbing their eyes and stretching their arms. Another day of school and another day for play excited everyone as they rushed out the doors of their homes and headed to the town elementary. Along the way teachers and parents would walk along with the kids. No one thought about the snores of the night or the large figure near the tree, but in their path lingered an old man. The adults stopped to pay attention to the man, as he humbly asked for spare change to have his breakfast. Without hesitation everyone, except the children gave him money. Quietly the old man hobbled his way to the town market.

But soon, these children’s sleep won them over and the ferocious snores were forgotten. As the sun broke through each household’s windows, the children of

“Ma’am, who was that man,” asked Mahmoud.

“Yes. And why was he wearing those clothes,” asked Mohsin.

Story For Your Lil’ One

“And why did he ask for money,” added Tara.

“Where is his family,” asked Muniza.

“Well children that was a man who doesn’t have a home or a family. He’s too old and weak to work, but still gets hungry like all of you do. Sometimes people like him don’t have much of a choice but to ask for money,” replied one of the teachers.

“Where does he live if he doesn’t have a home Ma’am,” asked Aziz.

“Probably somewhere right here, but - - “

kids and started telling them his life story. After the poor man was done, many of the children sat crying.

After school was over and everyone went to their homes, the parents began to worry. Their children seemed so sad, they didn’t feel like eating or playing or doing anything at all.

Finally, in Aziz’s home, his mother came to his room with a warm glass of milk and chocolate chip cookies.

“Here you are son, your favorite snack!” But Aziz refused to eat and this surprised his mother even more. Then she asked him, “Did something happen at school today? Why do you look so sad? Maybe I need to call your teacher.”

“He’s the monster!” screamed Sana.

“Monster?” questioned another teacher.

“Well what she’s trying to say is… he’s the man that sleeps by the tree every night and snores really loud. We can’t sleep because he makes so much noise,” answered Mariam.

The teachers were surprised when the rest of the children chimed in their agreement. But they were also surprised as to how inconsiderate the children felt towards the old man. The teachers looked at each other and decided to resolve this once they got to school. They avoided making anymore discussion about the matter and hurried the kids along.

Later that day, a surprise assembly was called in the library. There were rumors about a special guest coming to speak to the children. Anxiously and excitedly the children sat and whispered. A moment later the librarian raised her finger to her lips and everyone fell silent. She introduced the surprise guest and asked him to come to the front of the room. As soon as he faced the children, they recognized him as the poor man! He smiled at the

“No Mamma, don’t call my teacher. I’ll tell you what happened,” responded Aziz. He then explained to his mom the sad story about the man who slept under the tree and how he lost his family and his home to a big fire and how he had no where to go anymore.The poor man told them he was too weak to work and couldn’t sleep very well at night because of the cold. This time Aziz’s mom was in tears and gave her son a big hug. She told him that the community knew about his homelessness and that they are trying their best to help the old man. But Aziz was still sad and confessed to his mother about him staying up during the nights wondering about the beast under the tree. He told her that he had just found out this morning that the beast was no other than the poor man. He felt terrible for thinking so badly of the man. Aziz hadn’t realized that not everyone lives the way he does.

All across the town little children acknowledged the same feelings and wanted to apologize to the poor man.Their parents told them they had learned a big lesson about life today… to be grateful for what you have and not to put others down for what they don’t have. This was a lesson the children of Tunsania would never forget.

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

29

Finance AB C FinanceA

Kids and Finance: Part 2

By Faruki & Company

Q: How to teach kids about the value of money?

A: Pay them!

It is better to teach them about money before kids reach their teen years. Distractions and ambitions may cause your teenager to not learn about being responsible with finances. At a younger age giving your kids small amounts of money helps them prepare for the day when the amount gets bigger.

So when is the right time to start the allowance?

A child should be old enough to count money and recognize the bills. It is crucial to clearly state the purpose of the allowance. For example, they should know that the money they receive as an allowance is for specific purposes such as: clothes, books, or snacks and cannot be used for any other purpose. Ask your kids to always save a portion of their earnings. Children under the age of ten should not have to pay for their meals at school.

MELANZ | JANUARY 05

A creative option is to link allowance money to household chores. The argument against this arrangement is that kids should help out around the house without expecting to get paid for it.

One should always help their family members regardless of money. Proponents believe that small chores, such as car washes and cleaning, need to be done any ways. So it is better to keep the money in the family and have someone in the house do it.

30

Children may complain that their allowance is not enough to meet their needs. The main purpose of giving pocket money is to teach them to live within their means. On the other hand, a child is also learning the skills of negotiation. Instead of saying no right away, engage them in a conversation.

Ask them what they plan to do with their raise? Why is it important to get it now? Remember that getting a raise just to match the amount their friends get is a bad idea. Kids must learn that they have to live within their means and manage their money effeciently.

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