Xiaoyan ZHAO PORTFOLIO

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PTSD Caring Center


INDIVIDUAL PROJECT 2018.09 - 2018.12 ACRYLIC COLOUR, METAL NET, CLAY, PAPER, PLASTIC PAPER, PAPER BOX, WATER COLOUR, TREE BRANCHES, PAULOWNIA WOOD PIECE





Ten years ago, in the afternoon of 12th May, a devastating earthquake hit Sichuan China. Measuring at 8.0Ms, it has taken 87,587 lives, caused 18,392 missing and 374,643 injured. “512 Earthquake” is an indelible pain for all Chinese. Ten years have passed, I once again paid attention to the victims and started to search how they are living now. The images provided on televisions were impressive—neat buildings, bustling streets, smiling citizens—the nightmares ten years ago seem to be buried with ruins, deeply under this region. However, negative voices emerged when I browsed the internet. The messages left in the forums are as dismal as before. Many victims claimed to have the PTSD in different degrees, such as having nightmares, feeling guilty or even having panic attacks. Perhaps one of the primary reasons for that is the insufficient post-disaster psychological services. Ten years ago, Chinese government and press overlooked the significance of victims’ mental health. Instead of sending necessary counseling services, they trumpeted the notions of heroism, bravery and sacrifice. Such behaviors aggravated the survivor guilts and put intolerable pressure on them. Base on this phenomenon, I want to design a space for these survivors to meditate, to unwind and to communicate. Hopefully, in this way, I can eliminate their depressed and panic feelings, thereby, helping them to get out of the trauma mentally and begin new lives.



This building will be located by the Longchi Pond in Wenchuan. I made this choice base on the following reasons: Firstly, this is close to the earthquake’s epicenter, where is PTSD sufferers most likely to be found. Secondly, the transport is also a part of my design. Like I said, I want to control and instruct the visitors emotion by this experience. The visitors have to drive along the mountain road for about 10 minutes, and walk along the footpath for another 10 minutes, during this process, they will put their daily hassles away and reach a state of calm, being prepared for later visit. In addition, this pond is surrounded by serene environment, undistracted from human activity, should be an ideal site for meditation.

This cater center is designed for mainly two types of people—the survivors in the earthquakes, and the rescuers. As for the survived people, many of them have the guilty feelings for being the lucky ones. Similarly, some volunteers blamed themselves for not doing enough, particularly when they were unduly praised by the public. I did some researches related to PTSD for better understanding. It’s often thought that PTSD only developed when a person has been through dangerous events, however, psychologists suggested that people also have the symptoms when their love ones got hurt. Hence, I would like to avoid any hints related to the disaster, and provide a cozy but positive atmosphere, prompting the visitors to start new lives.


RESEARCH OF CAVE RESCUE


When I was doing this project, 12 boys and a coach from a junior football team in Thailand went missing, and drawn the whole worlds’ attention. The professionals of different nationalities in all realms offered helps to them, and it occurred to me that I could imitate their methods to treat my visitors. For instance, a British psychologist suggested that the best way for the boys to recover is to treat them equally as other children, instead of making them feel like stars. Therefore, I would make this cater center less grandiose and more home-like. In addition, I would like to keep a track of how these boys’ emotions changed in order to understand my visitors. Hence, I made a brochure to record different news and comment about this event.



Hence, I made a simple model out of light clay, in order to examine the structure of the whole space. After that, I looked into the weather condition and traditional architectures in the local area, and found that conventional methods such as tiles, yards and moisture-proof structure can be used in my space. At the beginning, I only wanted this building to be a place that connect heaven and earth. There they can communicate to the deaths and obtain the sense of relief and comfort. So, I use white as the dominant colour for its pureness and innocence.

However, I want this place to be cozy and comfortable at the same time, that the users can feel secure and unbend. Therefore I blended nature within my design to make a coherence between interior and exterior space. Thus, I emphasized the importance of interactions of the users and nature. For example, both front yard and back yard and a large scale of sightseeing viewpoint can be found in my building, Apart from visual sense, I also borrowed other senses from the nature. A noticeable feature of this space is that except meditation room, all other space is halfopen air, thereby, letting the breezes to fulfill the area, making people gradually slacken.



Hence, I made a simple model out of light clay, in order to examine the structure of the whole space. After that, I looked into the weather condition and traditional architectures in the local area, and found that conventional methods such as tiles, yards and moisture-proof structure can be used in my space.


ENTRANCE


When visitors enter the space, they firstly come to a garden, where they can enjoy the sceneries of traditional Chinese garden. Following a stone path, visitors have to make a turn to see the entrance. The entrance is consisted of a section of pavement on the surface of a tranquil pond, where reflect the clouds in the sky, indicate the harmony of lives and nature. The reflection of water links the nature and the building together. I started constructing my model by making the entrance. Because this space should be a connection to heaven, the entrance need to be more dramatic. The light shining from above give people a feeling of holiness, and water seem to purify people’s sins. I used cardboard to demonstrate walls and AB glue to demonstrate water.

The cardboard formed creases when I tried to fold it, so I had to change it to obtain a smoother effect. The effect of AB glue was disappointing as well—it had good reflectivity, but its stiffness made it unnatural. The second material I tried for making water was the water scene clay, which was originally satisfying, but cracked after a day In the third time I tried colourless slime clay. It looked great but only last a few days—it gradually evaporated and finally become a thin slice of plastic. Later, I thought since there is a natural pond near this building, maybe too much artificial water is redundant. Therefore, I removed the artificial pool and only leave the pond in the entrance. In this scene, I used layers of nail polish, and, fortunately this time it is durable.


COURTYARD


As for the back yard of the building, I referenced to Japanese drying landscape. The meditation room is going to directly face the drying landscape, helping the users to understand the relationships between nature and life, solitude and peace.When I was making models, initially I used salts and white glue to construct the “sand effect�,

and model trees surrounding the yard. The colours turned out to be too saturated and the arrangement of trees was also unbeautiful. Luckily, I found a type of plant in the neighborhood that looked natural and attractive. Each individual tree has its own shape and character.


MEDITATION ROOM


The ideas that I used to construct meditation rooms were basically came from Japanese temple. The furniture choices maximize the possibilities of using materials that come from nature, such as tatamis, bamboo splints and wooden doors. I believe the smells of wood and bamboo also helps users’ thoughts to precipitate.




Dream A Dream


INDIVIDUAL PROJECT 2018.11 - 2019.03 DISHWASHING STEEL BALL, ACRYLIC PIGMENT, WATERCOLOR PIGMENT, HEMISPHERICAL PLASTIC MOLD, LIGHT CLAY, IRON WIRE





PROJECT INTRODUCTION I was truly gravitated to the mystique of our dreams. Therefore, in this project, I aim to explore more about the typical dreams, such as being undressed, having nightmares, or witnessing deaths. Although they are quite unimaginable in reality, they have occurred in most of ours’ dreams.




NIGHTMARE Why are we having nightmares? Using Freud’s theory, we know that dreams can be continuation of reality. For instance, a glimpse of a stranger in daytime might leave you unexpected impression in your subconsciousness, therefore he might become the leading character in your nightmares.


In this logic, I try to explain the nightmare by “daytime-thoughts-explosion�. However, explosion is not as concrete as it seemed to be. Generally, it is an immediate process and is hard to represent the dynamic effect. At the beginning, I used the wires to support the clean balls and gauze. However, the effects seemed rather heavy and dull. My second attempt was burn it with fire. It was too temporary, and hard to control.

Finally, when I observe the dish-washing ball, I was inspired that the shape of spring provides a feeling of moving. Moreover, except the overall terrifying feelings (I created this atmosphere using black solid and rags), I also tried to add some pretty elements, because although bad dreams might be scary, Freud think they imperceptibly satisfied our desires.








INTERNALIZATION Why did so many of us dreamed of being nudity and going outside in the dreams? Let us recall the details in those dreams— although being naked, we generally do not feel awkward, and others seem to just ignore this fact. This can be explained by the satisfaction theory, that deep in our mind, we hope for acceptance of our true self, instead of the image we pretended to be.


When I was doing this topic, the biggest challenge is to understand what true self is. Fortunately, Freud has answered it already—self is classified to id, ego and superego. Although it seemed to be morally unacceptable, it is the natural tendency for people to fulfill their desire, in other words, let go their id. Relationship of id, ego and superego is not complex. Id represents our inborn desires—to eat, to sleep or to have sex. In contrast, superego is from postnatal education, we discipline ourselves because of our expectations and social rules. My original thoughts was bias, that I believe superego is the noblest one from this three, and id is the ugliest impulses. Few days after I finished this, an article changed my mind. This article encourages readers to think for the reason we have high self-discipline. The writer proposed the opinion that people demanding themselves is not because of their self-expectation, but because of others’ critics. When we are criticising ourselves, think of the origin of these words. Were these words from a stern parent? Were these words from a mean teacher? Were these words from a picky friend? Based on this opinion, I realised nudity dreams, as a way our brain healing itself, conveyed the needs to satisfy our desires. That’s why I turned to make the image our id escaping from our superego. I hope the viewers can be inspired to let go their true self from time to time.








DEATH Why do we dream of death? Back to the idea that dream is a satisfaction of our desires, this kind of dreams can be explained in two ways. Firstly, it is because we do want them to die. When kids were little, they frequently feel their parents’ attention and love is dissipate to their sisters and brothers or the other one of their parents, This problem is easy to be solved—if only they died, parents love can be exclusive.

Another reason is that people has the natural instinct to wish for the original state. An evidence to this is when we were in a cliff, there is always a sudden impulse to try jumping. I decided to look more into the second reason because I found the first one is kind of repeated to the “ego project”.


Not everyone dares to try dying, but people self-harm is another approach to satisfy their death instinct. There are many ways of harming, such as tearing up the skin, fastening the nail, scratching and etc.

I combined these elements in my installation. An interesting material I put here is girls’ tights. I used tights to wrap the clay for a skin-like texture. And I teared up the tight to represent the skin is torn.








Lady Anorxia


INDIVIDUAL PROJECT 2019.02 - 2019.08 WATER COLOUR, COLOUR PENCIL PHOTOSHOP, AFTER EFFECTS








ANIMATION VIDEO Lady Anorexia: https://youtu.be/3NvJ5yBUO_Q



ORIGINAL DRAWINGS



ORIGINAL DRAWINGS



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