MemoryBright Gift Book - Graduation by MemoryBright

ALEXIS

2015

The amazing story of what one mom, one girl, one family can accomplish

Cover Photo

AL EXI S I N GR E ECE

Alexis enjoys the sights of Greece, and of the larger world, during one of her many travel experiences in Europe.

CONTENTS

Only the Beginning

Perfect Baby

Early Years

Father Figure

For Alexis, what happens after this book is a chapter all her own. Mom fell in love right away seeing this gorgeous little girl with the thick head of hair. Mom and Alexis went out on their own, starting the long journey together. Mother and daughter werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t alone anymore when Daniel came (back) into their lives at the perfect time.

New Family

Bonding Time

On Her Own

Special Moments

The Future

The additions of Daniella and Gabriel made everything complete. As time seemed to speed up, the family spent time together as the kids grew. Amid a tight family and conservative culture, Alexis felt the pull to explore. In her world-spanning journey, these are more memories that meant so much.

INTRODUCTION

Only the Beginning F O R A L E X I S , W H AT H A P P E N S A F T E R T H I S B O O K I S A C H A P T E R A L L H E R O W N

Top: Baby Alexis already calm and poised. Opposite: Alexis with her tight-knit family.

College graduation is the most pivotal moment. In many ways, life has a clear road map up to this point. From literally the first step as a baby to the numbered progression through grade school and on to the goal of graduation, one achievement leads to the next. But at college graduation, the next step is up to you. Alexis is ready to take that step. This story begins with GG’s own college graduation. In the interviews and photos for this book, it’s clear how she chose, at her pivotal moment, to build a life for her newborn daughter, Alexis. For GG, that meant creating a new road map, one that had never been done before in her family and her culture. Everyone could see this sweet new little girl had so much potential. She was as beautiful as a porcelain doll, as smart as the brightest students and as mature as someone much older. GG set out with Alexis, just the two of them, on a series of steps that would take them where they had to go. First was a job that would allow a move to a good school district. With that accomplished, then it was about building a career for the long-term. A network of family and friends helped along the way, watching over Alexis while GG was working, shuttling her around La Jolla and beyond. During the first 10 years of Alexis’ life, that journey forged a bond between mother and daughter and an example of what a strong, enterprising, smart woman could accomplish through love and dedication. But GG knew there was only so much she could do for Alexis by herself. At the perfect time, when Alexis needed a consistent father figure, Daniel stepped back into their lives. The two of them were ready—so much

so that Alexis blurted out GG’s phone number as soon as Daniel asked. That’s when a new chapter began, and when life seemed to speed up. Daniel married GG, with Alexis part of that union not just as a miniature bride on the wedding day but in the spirit of the three of them becoming a new family. Soon Daniella was born, one of the happiest days of Alexis’ life. Then Gabriel came, and Alexis blossomed as such a natural big sister, watching over them and guiding them just as her mom had done for her. The family was complete. As all the kids grew, Alexis was starting to contemplate what her own story would be. Yes, this book is full of loving smiles and warm moments together. As much as Alexis cherished the family bonds, she was strong enough to know that she had to leave to make her way in the world. That meant going away to college, a decision that brought tears and heartbreak for a family that had been so close for so long. Yet the experiences that Alexis has had at school in Chicago and during her study-abroad programs in Europe have opened her eyes to the greater world. This physical distance was so hard for her mom and yet this drive to achieve more is what the two of them have always shared. This story does have a happy ending. After graduation, Alexis is coming home. She will be with her family again. While she has changed so much, Alexis still has the qualities that made her so special from the beginning, the intelligence, the drive, the maturity to accomplish great things. Just like her mom. These pages still represent only the beginning for Alexis. Her next steps, her next chapters, her amazing life, are up to her. And as you can see, she’s ready for it all.

PERFECT BABY Mom fell in love right away seeing this gorgeous little girl with the thick head of hair

Baby Alexis seemed so perfect, at first glance people sometimes thought she was a baby doll.

PERFECT BABY

A Happy Beginning R I G H T A W AY, A L E X I S W A S S U R R O U N D E D B Y A FA M I LY W H O L O V E D H E R D E E P LY

Major ready for a new baby

Mom introduces her family to Alexis.

MOM: I knew Alexis was about to come when I started feeling the contractions. I called the doctor, who said, “Oh, they’re not close enough yet.” Her father and I went for a walk on the beach. Right when I got to the sand, I said, “Oh, no, no, no, they’re getting closer!” I just turned back around right there and we headed for the hospital. The second they sat me down at the hospital, my water broke, and it was all ready to go from there. We did have a little scare when she was born. I had just turned 20 years old. It was the summer before my

junior year at the University of California, San Diego. I was so young, I didn’t really know what to expect with Alexis, even though I had read so many books. There were a few little complications where they had to take her to the ICU for a bit, so it was really scary right after the birth, just that unknown for about an hour. Fortunately, they cleared everything up, and they brought her back to me. I just remember looking at her and thinking she was like a porcelain doll. She just came out with this beautiful, beautiful white skin. She was so chunky al-

Taking turns holding Alexis.

ready, and she had this thick head of shiny black hair right at birth. Thick hair. I was just in amazement of her beauty right away. I still cry thinking about it. I remember saying, “Oh my God, this is the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen.” I fell completely in love with her right away. I tried to do everything really well, right from the very beginning. This was my first baby, so I wanted to just be perfect. I took that first semester off of college, to be able to stay at home and be a mom. I was very happy and very excited.

Happy mom

Alexis with her cousin, Bella

Keeping her head up early on

Mom’s family holds little Alexis for the first time.

Because I was so young, I don’t even remember having a hard time with the lack of sleep in dealing with a newborn. I just remember dressing her up in these cute little clothes like she was a doll. That was a combination of her being so gorgeous and me being so young. I would take her in the stroller, and we would go for walks at Seaport Village in San Diego or at the mall, and I can’t even tell you how many times people would stop me and thought that I was walking a doll, that she wasn’t real because she looked so perfect with her skin, her hair and those clothes.

I was lucky to be very close to my parents. My parents helped take care of Alexis while I was in school. When I went back to school, this is the sad part of the story, but I knew I was going to leave her father, so I knew the only way to do that, because of my culture, was for me to receive my education so that I could get a job to be able to take care of her on my own. When I went back to school after having Alexis, I took the maximum amount of credits you could take. I took the next summer school. I interned. I did everything that I could so that I could graduate as soon as

possible, which was 4 years. That part is really kind of a blur, but it was a lot of my mom and dad helping me take care of her in between studying and in between school. Luckily, school wasn’t really difficult for me. My initial intention when I entered college was to go on to law school. Clearly because of my life situation, that wasn’t an option any more. I had to graduate as soon as possible, get a job as soon as possible, and start a new life with my daughter as soon as possible, for a million reasons.

“

At an early age, Alexis made me a grandma. She was a very, very, very good baby.” —BIBI Alexis’ grandparents celebrating her Baptism

THE STORY OF THE NAMES mom : I named her Alexis Marie. Growing up, I loved the name Alex. I always said, whether I had a boy or girl, I would name my child Alex. My hope was actually that when Alexis got a little older, she would allow me to nickname her Alex, but she refused. “Do not name me Alex!” she said. So that didn’t work. Marie is a family middle name. The funniest thing is, I actually grew up thinking that was my middle name until I really examined my birth certificate. My actual middle name is Mary. So I messed it up. Now both my daughters have the middle name Marie. I figure since when you get married, you change your middle name, I wanted some sort of a bond between all the women. alexis : I think I was named Alexis for a reason, and I think that’s more feminine than Alex, so I always thought of Alex as more of a tomboy’s name. I’ve never really identified as a tomboy. And I love Marie. If I have daughters, they will definitely have the middle name Marie.

Alexis at home, ready for lunch

“

I tried to do everything really well, right from the beginning. Alexis was my first baby, so I wanted to just be perfect.” —MOM

With presents, play dates and aunts who loved her, Alexis seemed to always be smiling.

Alexis as a toddler, with a truly special poise.

EARLY YEARS

Mom and Alexis went out on their own, starting the long but rewarding journey of their family life together

Getting ready for Christmas

Mom and Alexis marking a celebration in Michigan

Celebrating with family

Alexis ready for one of the many drives to and from La Jolla.

EARLY YEARS

A Fresh Start M O M A N D A L E XI S S T R U C K O U T O N T H E I R OW N , WO R K I N G H A R D TOWA R D A B E T T E R L I F E

MOM: Alexis was just two years old when I graduated from college. I had a job the day after. We moved out on our own, just the two of us, after I had saved as much money as I could. I paid a deposit on an apartment that was still close to my parents so they could help me in between work. I actually was disconnected from many members of my family because of the cultural issue with me getting divorced. Everybody has come around now, but Alexis and I were on our own for quite awhile. Most people would be like, “Oh my God, that’s crazy, you’re with a two-year-old, broke, making very little money.” To me, the morning after we were in our own place, we woke up on a mattress on the floor. I felt like that was the first day of our American life. It really was just the two of us. Soon, Alexis ended up getting really sick, and we were in the emergency room. I was thinking, “What did I do?” I had no support, and it was so scary. I was 22, Alexis was 2. That was September. I persevered. I was determined to make a good life for her. My goal was to get her into the best school district that I could, so I worked very hard. But the entire time I was working that first job out of college, which was in hair care products, my intention was to get into pharmaceutical sales. I knew that would be a lucrative career that could completely give us a different lifestyle. About a year and a half later, I was hired in pharmaceutical sales. That was a big step in our journey and was when our lives took a turn for the better. We were able to move to a different area outside of where I had grown up and start fresh. I placed her in a really good

such a young age, so it was always more of best friends and growing up together, rather than a mother-anddaughter relationship. She did so much and sacrificed so much for me from the very beginning. MOM: Before we moved to La Jolla, I ended up finding an amazing woman named Vicki to take care of Alexis. She ended up playing a huge role with us in those first few years. Even when I moved to La Jolla, I would still drive back down to our old neighborhood to take Alexis to Vicki. My sisters would help drive back and forth, the ones who were driving, because this woman was amazing. She had a daycare out of her home. She fell in love with Alexis, and Alexis fell in love with her. Her personality was so warm and kind, and she did a lot of teaching. Alexis was really bright right from the getgo, so I loved the fact that she taught her. It was like a little school in addition to being a daycare. At some point through all that, my mom and dad divorced, and my mom ended up coming and living with us for a little while. That’s when my mom and I Opening the reconnected, and we’ve been close ever since. Alexis door to a new life has always called her Bibi. BIBI: When GG got the pharmaceuticals job, I tried school system and started to really enjoy life because to help with Alexis too and drive all the way from El we finally had the means to do it at that point. Cajon to La Jolla. I’ve always loved spending time ALEXIS: I do have memories of when we first moved with Alexis. She’s very respectful. She’s a good listener. into our apartment in La Jolla, in the nicer area of San Even so early on, she seemed so mature for her age. I Diego. I remember opening the door and being so ex- have so many memories with her. cited that we had this place all to ourselves. I always MOM: That has meant so much to me, having this remember that it was just the two of us. We were best connection of the women in our family through the friends. My mom was so young and she had me at generations, from my mom to Alexis.

“

My mom did so much and sacrificed so much for me from the very beginning.” —ALEXIS

Alexis was a beautiful toddler with gorgeous hair and an always sweet, always respectful personality.

“

I’ve always loved spending time with Alexis. I have so many memories with her.” —BIBI

Alexis always floating along with optimistic charm.

“ We were on our own for quite a while. I was determined to make a good life for her.” —MOM

Mom and Alexis visiting Michigan on one of their many adventures.

FATHER FIGURE Mom and Alexis werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t alone anymore when Daniel came (back) into their lives at the perfect time

Daniel enters the picture with Mom and Alexis.

FATHER FIGURE

Happy Together A L E X I S B R O U G H T S O M U C H J O Y, I N S P I R AT I O N A N D M O T I VAT I O N T O H E R M O M

MOM: We went back and forth from La Jolla to Vicki until Alexis started kindergarten at 5 years old. Then she was in school. I was so fortunate because my hours were really amazing, being in outside sales. The YMCA was right across the street from her school, in a cute little cul-de-sac, for when I did need help watching her. We were still on our own. It was just the two of us. If I needed something last minute or Alexis was sick, I would just call up my pharmaceutical partner, Nicki, who lived down the street. Every other weekend, Alexis was with her father. Those were the weekends where I had my single woman fun. As much work as it was at that time, Alexis was my lifesaver. I know that’s a lot of pressure to put on a child, but she was my motivation. She was the reason why I never gave up. She was my inspiration, and because she was a girl, I wanted to be the best example of a woman. Even though I didn’t grow up feeling like I knew how to deal with so many issues, I bought every book I could. I spoke to every expert I could. I did everything I could to be a loving, strong, kind, gracious, generous woman for her. Alexis was something else. She was so talkative, so inquisitive, so ladylike, very feminine, very polite, a people pleaser. One time in elementary school, she hurt herself and cut her forehead open. I freaked out. I do not deal well with stress at all. I gave the ambulance the wrong address, I mean, completely gone berserk. Blood is pouring out of this girl’s forehead, and she’s like, “Mom,” not even crying, “Don’t worry, I’m okay,” trying to calm me down. She was just worried about me. She was always helping me. I detest cooking with a

A quick kiss d uring a SeaWorld outing

passion. She would plop herself in front of the TV and turn on a cooking channel. She was already obsessed and still has an absolute passion for cooking. She was super talkative. She was super sweet, very loving, very protective over me. She was always teacher’s pet. Straight A’s. I never had to help her study. I never had to tell her to do her homework. The girl got straight A’s every class. She was just a natural. Alexis has always been as sweet as can be, with a smile ear to ear, and fun to be around. I always gave thanks to have this little partner who made life worth it to me.

“

Because Alexis was a girl, I wanted to be the best example of a woman.” —MOM

At the end of the bike ride outside Florence

“ Alexis was my lifesaver.

That’s a lot of pressure on a child, but she was my motivation.” —MOM

Moments with Alexis became more meaningful as she grew up.

“

Alexis has never disappointed me. She has only ever impressed me.” —MOM

Alexis was a beautiful toddler with gorgeous hair and an always sweet, always respectful personality.

FOCUS ON SCHOOL

alexis: I was always obsessed with school. I’ve always just been fascinated with learning. I’ve been teacher’s pet—not the annoying teacher’s pet, but the cute teacher’s pet. I felt like I always had a really close bond with my teachers in grade school and still today. I had that respect for them. I am a bit of a procrastinator, which is the only thing my mother has ever had to reprimand me for. Even if I’m doing it the morning of, it will still be 110 percent effort, though I was stressed out while doing it. mom: Alexis has always been everything that I could ever have desired and hoped for in a daughter and more. She has never disappointed me. She has

only ever impressed me. Number 1, Alexis will remember, what did I always say, what’s the most important thing about a person? Ever since you were a little girl, I used to make you memorize that. alexis: Always education and their heart. mom: Their heart is number one, and education is number two. Heart means how you treat people. Education equals power. Without my education, I wouldn’t have been able to leave the situation I was in and give Alexis the life she has. So that was never an option, so that was why it was really important to me. The fact that she absorbed it and was so smart just made me very proud.

Fateful Encounter D A N I E L L I T E R A L LY W A L K E D B A C K I N , A N D M O M A N D A L E X I S W E R E S M I T T E N

“ When Daniel looked

MOM: The first time I met thought, “My gosh, if I call Daniel, I was at my first job, his name and he turns and he working at Paul Mitchell. I ignores me, I’m going to be so was separated and only 22. embarrassed.” But suddenly, Alexis was 2. Daniel joined I went with my gut reaction the company. We dated a litand yelled out his name. He tle but became more friends turned around, and when than anything. he looked at me, I said, “Oh, I soon moved to La Jolla we’re getting married.” In my —MOM and got a new phone number. head, I said it—not out loud! Daniel called my old phone He came over and he had number, and my mom anthis huge grin on his face. I swered. He asked for my new number, and my mom could just tell from his eyes that nothing had really said, “I’m sorry, she’s actually asked me not to give it changed about his feelings. At this point, I was finally maout, and she really just wants a fresh start for her and ture enough to appreciate the true gentleman and man her daughter.” I just wanted to be on my own. I had ac- that he was, because I’d gone through the growing up and tually said, “I’m not dating anymore.” So Daniel and I understanding and appreciating what I really wanted in didn’t see each other for five or six years. a partner and in a father figure for Alexis. I think at some point he did find a way to reach out to He came over. Alexis used to be very possessive. We me, and I wasn’t very nice. Then I ended up just grow- were out all the time for dinner, so she didn’t like it ing up with Alexis really. We moved on and started that when a man tried to talk to me. Daniel and I talked a life with her in kindergarten and us living in a different little, and he asked for my phone number. Before I could town. That’s when I really started to live, with dating even think about whether I was going to give it to him and getting to know people. or not, Alexis blurted it out! When Alexis was 9, she and I were out one Sunday eveShe was not warm and welcoming to anybody before ning having sushi with a girlfriend from high school. We that. So when I already was thinking we would get marwent to the sushi place right next to our house. Because ried and then to have Alexis automatically say, “Here’s I didn’t cook, we were eating out almost every night. our phone number,” I was thinking this was looking Daniel walked in with his friends for dinner, and I very good. They bonded right from the get-go.

at me that night, I said, ‘Oh, we’re getting married.’ ”

DANIEL’S MEMORY

ALEXIS’ MEMORY I did not care for any gentlemen in my mom’s life, whether it was a friend or a romantic interest. I was very protective over her. I just always looked out for her best interest, even at a young age. We took care of each other. But with Daniel, I just liked him right away. I felt a connection with him immediately, and I thought that he was a sincere guy. I just really appreciated his character, so I wanted him to have a chance.

I remember walking into the restaurant and GG calling out my name. I couldn’t believe it. I walked over. Alexis was very engaging, with her outgoing personality, laughing and excited. The moment that I asked for GG’s number, Alexis blurted it out. I remember GG giving her a look like, “You know, you’re not supposed to be giving out the number.” Alexis didn’t even remember me from the first time around that we met because she was so little. It was amazing how Alexis just felt so comfortable with me.

The Big Wedding MOM , DA NIEL A ND ALE XIS WERE R E A DY TO M A K E IT O FFIC I A L

The bride and mini-bride get ready.

MOM: Daniel and I didn’t get a chance to talk that first encounter at the sushi restaurant. The next day, I went on a work trip, and I remember being in my hotel room with a lot of my colleagues watching The Bachelor. They asked if he had called me. I said no. As I was saying that, my phone rang. That’s when everyone shouted, “Answer it!” I stepped into the hallway to answer. It was Daniel. We talked for hours while I sat in the hall and everybody was in my room. That was in September, and by the following June, he proposed, and we got married in August. The time was so right for all of us.

DANIEL: While GG and I were dating, it seemed like I was dating both of them. Alexis saw her father every other week, but in between, the three of us were together. We’d all go out together, dinner for three. Alexis and I also had our alone times, where I would take her out. One of my passions is kung fu, and she signed up for it. We’d spend time at school training. Alexis was really good at it. Even though she always was very small, she had a lot of spirit. We’d have conversations on the way to school about what kind of person she wanted to be, how she should be treating other kids and how she should ex-

pect them to be treating her. Alexis has a lot of selfconfidence and is very friendly with everybody. At times, she felt like she was being picked on by other kids because she was so nice. Those were the types of conversations that we would have to try to toughen her up and to let her know that she can be nice but not put up with people stepping over her. She became a tough sort of girl. Before GG and I got engaged, I wondered how Alexis was going to perceive us all together because she had had her mom to herself. So before I proposed, I asked Alexis how she would feel about it. She was

ALEXIS: For the wedding, I was my mom’s miniature bride, dressing just like her. So I got to be a little mini of my mom, which I’ve actually always been. MOM: That was symbolic of the fact that we were Alexis serves as miniature all joining as one. We had a vase at a table that was bride for her aunt too. right next to us when we were being married. Each of the three of us had a different rose to add to that vase. So in addition to being a miniature bride, Alexis was Alexis at Mom and part of the unity, the ceremony. I made sure that the Daniel’s ceremony minister who was marrying us and the deacon who was involved included her in the prayer and in all of it. DANIEL: On our wedding day, it was instant family. We had to adjust very quickly. The day of the wedding, Alexis gave a speech in front of our 250 guests. At only 10 years old, she got up there with the microphone and delivered a very well-thought-out speech about welcoming me to their household. Alexis the beautiful She did try very hard to include me and to make miniature bride me feel part of their family. At the same time, I was trying to do the same thing for Alexis because I knew very excited. I think it made her feel more part of it gave her attention so that she wouldn’t have to seek that it would be hard for her not to feel like I was to be included—and to know something that her mom it elsewhere. trying to be her father figure when she already has a didn’t, something so big. I knew that whomever I chose to fill that position father. She adapted very well and took me in. ALEXIS: That was really sweet. Daniel included me was going to not only be for me, but equally imporMOM: Alexis surprised us with that speech at the in everything. Every gift that he bought my mom, he tant for my daughter, to be the example by which she wedding. For her age, she was so well composed, but would show me before. He was always the one to re- would choose her future soul mate in life. He had then again, she’s been so mature for her whole life. ally include me and make me feel welcome. integrity. He was sophisticated, honest, loyal, hard- She said, “My mom has always been there to place MOM: I knew 100 percent that marrying Daniel working—all the things that, as a mother, I would a band-aid on my wounds and take care of me. And was the best decision. It was just a perfect fit. It was want my daughter to find someday. I knew that, as now, Daniel, you’re there to take care of her and help great timing because Alexis was 10, right before high much as I would tell Alexis, it was what I was going her take care of me.” We all lost it as she was talking. school, right before pre-teen, a time when I knew it to show her. Daniel was exactly all of those things Alexis created such an emotional moment. She had was so important to have that strong male figure who and more. everybody in tears. It was a beautiful day.

Alexis as a teenager with her growing family.

NEW FAMILY

The additions of Daniella and Gabriel made everything complete in so many ways

NEW FAMILY

Bundles of Joy A L E X I S W A S E C S TAT I C W H E N T H I S O N LY C H I L D B E C A M E A W AT C H F U L B I G S I S T E R

MOM: Soon after the wedding, our life was about to change again. I was expecting, and Alexis was going to be a big sister. She took on that role absolutely beautifully. It was just amazing. She had tears in her eyes at the hospital when she met baby Daniella. Then 20 months after that came her baby brother, Gabriel. They’re all extremely attached. We don’t use the word “half” in our family. We don’t use the word “step.” It’s Daniel, and then it’s her brother and her sister, and we’re all one family. It’s a beautiful unity. ALEXIS: Daniella’s birth was a real milestone in my life. I was just overjoyed. I was so happy. To this day, that that was the happiest day of my life. My sister was just a joy brought into my life. I was so excited. I had always been an only child, and this was my playmate. Like my mom had, baby Daniella was my little doll to dress up and to teach her things. I was just always so obsessed with her, always wanted to watch her and do things for her, try to feed her, change her diaper, everything. I was just infatuated with her right from when she was born. Mom and Daniel were both working a lot at this time too, and they were launching their own jewelry line, so I was just the second mom to Daniella and then Gabriel, and I loved being in that role for them. There was such a big age gap, so it was not exactly the average sisterly role. It was really like a mix between a second mother and a sister role. I always had that guard up for them and always tried to protect them, teach them and help raise them. DANIEL: We always knew Alexis was going to be a really good sister because she was just so caring and ob-

and Daniella was only a baby, we had to take turns taking care of Daniella. What would happen is, Alexis and I would go off on the rides and the water slides and go touring around, looking at all the sea creatures and all the aquariums, while GG would stay back with Daniella and watch her for awhile. Then we’d come back, and I would take turns watching Daniella, and then GG and Alexis would go. Then Alexis would stay and take care of Daniella, and GG and I would go. It was a great opportunity to spend time with each one of us, and, at the same time, she also took care of Daniella at some point to allow GG and I to go downstairs for a dinner. That really sticks in my mind because it was such a fun trip for all of us. It wasn’t like one of us got stuck behind taking care of the baby the whole time; we all took time with her, and even enjoyed taking her poolside by ourselves, while the other two would go Alexis and Mom ready for a new baby. out and have fun together. We had the opportunity to spend alone time and spend family time as well. I think we all bond very well, and we all have our speviously wanted to teach everything to the kids. That’s cial relationships with each other where we can share how she’s been this whole time with both of them, al- in special activities. Then we also have times where all ways now taking time to do things on their own, just of us are doing the same activity and have fun. That’s the three kids spending time together, to bond, to do the beauty about Alexis, that she’s always been able to things alone. She has just always made a big effort to be adapt and was always willing to go with the flow. She close with each of us. I think we all have our individual was always open to sharing with her little brother and relationships with Alexis, as well as obviously the fam- sister, and taking time to do things with them. ily relationship when we’re all together as well. She’s ALEXIS: Gabriel was a monster from the start. He always been very adaptive, very easy going. was the brightest kid you will ever hear of, meet, interI remember we took a trip to Atlantis in the Baha- act with ever. He’s a little genius. He was so intelligent mas when Daniella was about nine months old. The that he just had to get into everything, from when he problem was that, because there were the four of us was just crawling as a toddler. We had to redo the baby

Alexis already starts watching over Daniella.

A very happy big sister

All three girls in the family

safety locks all over our house three times. He would as much because he’s a troublemaker. He will get into figure it out before we could do anything. trouble no matter what you want to do to protect him. MOM: It was unreal the amount of times we had to We just have that special bond of being so similar and have the baby-safety guy come out. He had to triple loving each other so much. lock everything. He’s been a challenging child, but he MOM: I definitely slept a lot less with the addition of and Alexis definitely have a unique relationship. Daniella and Gabriel. Everything became work. Also, ALEXIS: I think my sister and I, we had the bond first, Alexis became a teenager. Teenage years are not fun she was my first sibling, and I always look after her as for anyone, but I think that Alexis was probably one of a younger girl, and I always wanted the best for her. the easier teens compared to other people I had been My brother is really similar to me, and we have really, around, but it still wasn’t the most fun stage. really similar personalities and similar interests, so we I felt like everything happened so quickly. I got rehave that bond together. I don’t need to protect him married at 30, had Daniella one year later, then Ga-

briel less than two years later. Everything happened so quickly, and I was older this time around. It definitely was different. I felt more tired, but my family felt complete, and that’s what I wanted. Alexis had her father figure. I had my soul mate and a partner in life. I had another girl. I was very intimidated by having a little boy, but I am so glad I have a son. Looking back, it still just seems like everything is happening so fast. The first 10 years of Alexis’ life, I feel like I can remember everything as a little slower. But the last 10 or 11 years, things have just moved very, very quickly. And they’re not slowing down.

The family at Daniella’s Baptism

“

My sister was just a joy brought into my life. I was so excited..” —ALEXIS

Onward and upward for the new grad

Visiting Grandma with Daniella

“

I tell Brooke this lovingly, I love her with all my heart. I would give everything for her.” —MOM

“

I had Daniella one year after our wedding, then Gabriel less than two years later. Everything happened so quickly.” —MOM

As little Daniella turned into a toddler, Gabriel entered the picture, still putting a smile on Alexis’ face.

“

Alexis has always been open to sharing with her little brother and sister and taking time to do things with them.” —DANIEL

A special memento of Alexis and the little ones who 足always looked up to her.

The complete family, with Alexis, Gabriel and Daniella

Family life became very full and very fulfilling.

BONDING TIME

As time seemed to speed up, the family spent time together as Alexis and the little kids grew up fast

Visiting with Minnie Mouse at Disneyland

BONDING TIME

Sibling Revelry D A N I E L L A A N D G A B R I E L B A S K E D I N T H E L O V E A N D AT T E N T I O N F R O M A L E X I S

With Daniella

With Gabriel

Sibling selfie

DANIELLA: I remember when Alexis used to have sleepovers with her friends, and I was in kindergarten. I would try to stay up all night to play and hang out with them. She always was like a mother to me, took care of me, read me stories and made me laugh. We used to always have dance parties in her room at night when we were supposed to be sleeping. We used to jump and dance on her bed. When she used to put me to bed, she would tell me the most hilarious stories, mimicking all of our family members. I remember one time, I used to

have Vitamin C before I would go to bed, and I was in bed sucking on it, and she made me laugh so hard, I choked on it and threw up. Alexis never told me those funny stories anymore because she was worried I would throw up again. We used to always go on walks together, go to the park. We used to hang out a lot. One time, we prankcalled Auntie Bessma and told her that we were a baby company. Alexis is hilarious. She is very smart. And she is very creative and pretty. She is very responsible. I love how she tells me stuff and doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hide stuff

from me. She lets me give her advice, which is a lot of fun. She is very beautiful. She doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hold grudges. She is forgiving. She is a good teacher. I have a lot of memories with Alexis. She would always spend time with me. I always try to be like her. She inspires me to do better in everything. GABRIEL: Alexis is a great sister, and I love her a lot. She is really nice to me. We play, and we used to play music on her phone and jump and dance on her bed to the music and have fun! She would do anything with me. I love being with her.

“

Alexis created herself very well. Her formative teenage years were smooth.” —MOM

Extended family, friends and even famous faces were part of Alexis’ life, but Mom, Daniel, Daniella and Gabriel were always at the center.

“

We’ve been very blessed with Alexis. She’s always been so strong and can just go with the flow.” —DANIEL

“

In high school, my goal was to prove that I was trustworthy enough to venture out on my own.” —ALEXIS

Alexis surrounded by family and friends.

Alexis enjoys Greece in her travels.

ON HER OWN

Amid a tight family and a conservative culture, Alexis felt the pull to explore the world beyond home and chart her course in life

ON HER OWN

Graduating from Home A L E X I S W A S R E A D Y T O M O V E A W AY F O R C O L L E G E , E V E N I F H E R FA M I LY W A S N ’ T ( Y E T )

ALEXIS: In my teenage years, I was very concerned about my grade point average and getting into a good college. I think the biggest struggle was that I really wanted to experience going away for college. That’s not a custom in our culture. It’s actually frowned upon, but it’s something that I really wanted to do. I think that was my biggest goal in high school was to be able to prove myself as someone trustworthy enough and responsible enough to be able to venture off on my own and be able to experience those luxuries from life, but also that independence, and then some responsibility living on my own. I was begging on my knees to be able to go. I think my sophomore year of high school, I saw my older friends applying to all these colleges. I wanted to go so badly and experience that college life, life in a dorm. My mom raised me away from a lot of my culture, but still instilled the positive values that our culture offers. So I feel like I didn’t want to be just a traditional woman who stays at home until she’s married and doesn’t get to travel and experience things on her own. I really wanted to get away from that. I already wasn’t raised exactly in those stereotypical traditional values. I’ve always been conservative, but I was never into that completely traditional female role. I wanted to be independent and I wanted to prove myself that I’m an intelligent female, and a responsible one, and someone who could be strong just like my mother was, and who could break the mold. My decision in high school was seen as a little bit of abandonment, which really hurt me, because even though I wanted this so badly, I didn’t want my family

Mother and daughter at the end of a long journey together.

to feel betrayed or hurt by my departure. But it was really something that I wanted for myself, and that I wanted to experience. MOM: I just couldn’t understand why she wanted to go away, and I was taking it so personally. That’s where Daniel came in and said, “Look, this is healthy, this is normal, this is what Americans do. This is what you’re supposed to do.” I just couldn’t understand, how could my best friend want to leave me? It was very, very hard for me. I still don’t quite understand. But I did raise Alexis to be a strong woman.

Her high school years were such a big achievement. We knew going away to college was such a big step. Alexis would be the first girl in the family to ever be allowed to go out and away from home, after being brought up so strict. So all of us, seeing her at high school graduation and knowing what she was going to do next, that moment brought a lot of joy and a lot of pride for me and all of us. That said, her decision was tough on me too because on one end, I wanted Alexis to be able to have more freedom, and her mom was very protective of DANIEL:

A graduation kiss for Daniella

Celebrating with the littler kids

A look back

her. I said it was time for her to have some space because she had been so involved with the little kids, that she wasn’t getting the time that she needed to herself. So I actually pushed for her to be able to go away, as sad as it was to not have her with us all the time. I had to calm GG down and let her know that it was going to be okay, and that hopefully Alexis would come back, because that was always the big scare. Once they leave, they don’t come back. BIBI: Alexis was so good to me during high school. She loved to show me to her friends at Grandparents

Day. In these years, I had even more memories with Alexis. But I cried when I found out Alexis would leave. All of my daughters, they lived with me until they got married. So it was hard for me to see Alexis go. GG said, “You’re right, Mom.” But Alexis wanted to do it. I didn’t go to her room for one week because I was crying. They were making fun of me, all of them. It was very hard for me. Then GG said, “Mom, I’m going to bring her home every three or four months. You’re going to see her. Don’t worry.”

“ I couldn’t understand how my best friend would want to leave me.” —MOM

“

I wanted to be independent and show I could be strong just like my mother was and break the mold.” —ALEXIS

Extended family, friends and even famous faces were part of Alexis’ life, but Mom, Daniel, Daniella and Gabriel were always at the center.

“

I actually pushed for her to be able to go away, to have her space, as sad as it was to not have her with us all the time.” —DANIEL

THE EUROPE DREAM TRIP mom: As a 20-something-yearold mom, I looked at my little girl thinking, “You’re going to live the life I dreamed of living. You are going to get to do everything that I dreamed of doing. I’m going to give that to you.” One of the things I remember saying, when Alexis was little, was that when she graduates high school, I’m taking her on a mother-daughter trip to Europe. When Daniel and I were getting married, I told him before we got married, this is something I promised my little girl, since she was 5 years old. So just because you and I are getting married, I can’t go back on that promise. When Alexis graduates high school, I’m taking her on a trip to Europe. He was not so keen on the idea, and thought, “No, two women are not going by themselves to Europe.” We went back and forth, but I got my way. When Alexis graduated high school, she and I embarked on a 10-day tour. I let her pick where she wanted to go. She wanted to go to Spain, and that’s what we did. She’s become an even better traveler since then, even shadowing me on a publicrelations trip to New York to see what I do. But Europe, we did it! alexis : That trip is when I fell in love with Europe. I loved Spain right away, and I just loved the European culture and the differences of cultures, and comparing them to an American culture. I remember Mom talking about the trip when I was a little girl. I remember always being told every year, we’re one year closer, we’re one year closer. We’re going to do this. It was a beautiful experience and memories. I’m excited to always have that and hopefully to be able to offer that to my own children too upon their high school graduation.

“ My mom promised

this trip to me when I was little. I fell in love with Europe.” —ALEXIS

“ I just don’t feel complete

if my family is not completely together. It doesn’t seem natural to me. I’m just glad we’re almost finished with Alexis being away.” —MOM

The family together, completely

ON HER OWN

College and Beyond A L E X I S F O U N D W H AT S H E W A S L O O K I N G F O R A N D M O R E A S S H E G E T S R E A D Y F O R A B I G F U T U R E

ALEXIS: I decided to go to Loyola University in Chicago, a Jesuit university in the heart of the city. It’s an amazing campus, an amazing school, and I’ve been so happy with my decision. It was seen as a little bit of abandonment, which really hurt me, because even though I wanted this so badly, I didn’t want my family to feel betrayed or hurt by my departure. But it was really something that I wanted for myself and that I wanted to experience. I think I have grown so much from that experience, that I know they understand it. It’s gone by so quickly. Graduation is here, and I’m already coming home. My mom pulled me out for any occasion she could make an excuse for. Every birthday, every Thanksgiving, every winter break. I really wasn’t away from home that much. I double majored in international studies and communications studies, and minored in political science. My international studies capstone was the last big paper I had to write. Writing is my passion, besides cooking, I love to write. And I became fascinated with my piano class. I had some extra room in my schedule because I always took the maximum amount of credits that we were able to take. So at the end, all I had left that was required was my capstone class. MOM: When I went to move her and I looked at what a dorm was like, because I’d never seen what a dorm looked like, I looked at Alexis and I said, “How can you go from our home to sharing a bathroom with somebody?” It did not make me feel better at all. I just think that we could have had her study abroad and that would have been fine. The hardest, hardest

Looking out at the Chicago skyline

part was with my mom, who’s extremely attached to her, and was with Alexis’ little brother and sister. The way they took her leaving broke my heart. Because she’s such a beautiful example, and because we’re a family unit, I just didn’t feel it was natural that you separate. I respect and I understand the value of living on your own, so that you can learn and grow. But I just don’t feel complete if my family is not completely together. It doesn’t seem natural to me, and I’m still not comfortable with it. I’m just glad we’re almost finished with it. One of the most impressive things in the past few

years that was very unique for our culture and for my family, but yet the thing that I think will go down in our lives as one of the best decisions we made, was Alexis studying abroad. ALEXIS: For a semester, I studied in Italy and Rome, but then I also traveled for a month and a half throughout Europe. Then I studied abroad for a summer program in Spain for one month. I was there for six months total, and it was amazing. I cherish every single day there. That is definitely my favorite experience that college offered and that my parents offered me.

Shopping with Mom in the city

Visiting colleges in Chicago

Social fun

DANIEL: Time goes by so quickly, and she’s done such

even thinking about it, I just start to water up. an amazing job, that I couldn’t be more proud of her. I I’m just such an anxious person, and I think that’s tell her she’s always a great influence on her siblings, the nature of being a mom. Then there’s also my extra and that I can only hope that they turn out like her. anxiety that I’m just so glad that she did it four years MOM: Alexis’ college graduation will be the first time safely without anything bad happening. I’m just so that Daniella and Gabriel are going to Chicago. My mom glad that she’s going to be safely returning. is going as well. My sister Dena, her husband and two All of this was an extra big deal. She did it, and she boys will also be joining us on our trip there. My neph- made it. Pride is an understatement. I don’t even know ews are very fond of their big cousin, Alexis, and can’t how to describe how proud I am for many reasons. wait to celebrate. I’m already dreading the makeup situ- There is the selfish part of, I can’t believe we did it, ation because I want to look cute in the pictures, but where we started and where we are and that my own

dream of having my own daughter grow up completely healthy and self-confident and kind hearted and educated. All those dreams that I had when she was born are coming true. She’s well traveled and well cultured. She has such a great foundation, so there’s the pride that Daniel and I were able to give that to her. Just thinking about Alexis, this is a lot of pressure on me, but being that I am one of the youngest moms of all the moms that I know, and then one of the first, I’m the only mom of that group who let her daughter go away to college. There are more maybe doing it now, but at the time

Exploring Europe while studying abroad

that I did it, everyone said to me, “Okay, we’re looking at you guys as an example.” It’s a lot of pressure. All my people, my culture, and friends and everything. Now it’s become where wherever I go, “I hope my daughter turns out just like yours.” Whatever happens at this point, I just feel like she’s lived well already. She’s good. DANIEL: Alexis is very, very mature. She’s grown up now. She’s always been ahead of her years. I think that’s going to help her in the future once she graduates, with being able to start a good job and being able to grow

within her field. Alexis will have so many opportunities because she is so mature, and she is able to really adapt so quickly. I think that’s one of the things that will definitely help her define her path and her true passion. She doesn’t want to go into the wrong field; she feels in a rush to move on. I said, “You know, luckily you’re coming back home, you’re not going to have much financial stress, so it’s okay to try out different things and maybe different types of jobs. You don’t have to settle for anything right away. Just find something that you really like and that you’re passionate

about.” Sometimes you’ve got to take a step back, and not want to take the whole world in at once. BIBI: A lot has happened for Alexis since she graduated high school. I am so proud of her. I’m wishing for her to find a good job she likes. That’s all that matters to me. And to be with us. My girls are all married and I’ve taken care of them, their husbands and their babies. Alexis says, “Bibi, are you going to do the same thing for me when I get married and have children?” And I say, “I promise you, I will take care of you and your babies too.” ALEXIS: My future isn’t planned yet. But I’m grateful

At the Arc de Triomphe in Paris

A taste of Italy

MOM: It’s not happening. I’m trying to figure out how we’re going to do this, because I know just with normal American families, that for an adult child to move back in is already a challenge, but I’m very strict. In Alexis’ high school years, even though I didn’t arrange for marriage and I let her go away to college, she was not allowed to date in high school. She was not allowed to attend a party. She’s probably been to one or two football games. She wasn’t allowed to have social media access until her senior year. I monitored all her e-mails, and then she went away to college. I’m going to have her coming back as an adult, where I have to adjust yet still maintain some of my values. Not so long ago, Alexis sent me a text. It was something like, I totally now understand why you did what you did, and I want to be the same kind of mother you are, and do the same thing with my kids as you did. That was huge for me. ALEXIS: Most people don’t have that realization until they’re older, but I always had such a strong connection with my mom and always loved her so much. That strictfor the opportunities I’ve been given. I made the best with my family. Everyone teases me, but I’m really ness was for a reason. I won’t be completely as strict, but I out of this experience. I’ve gained a lot of knowledge. excited. It’s been four years. It’s been long enough. I will definitely have a lot of the same rules because I think I’m leaving a better and more well rounded person, so experienced my independence and now it’s time to ... that’s what instills character and that’s what protects I’ll be proud of myself. I’m graduating with honors. I’m MOM: Get back home with your mom. your children. You don’t want anything to happen. excited. I’m nervous, though, for what the future holds. ALEXIS: Yes, just hopefully with a little less strictI understand too that her being such a young I am excited and anxious to see what’s next. ness than what I grew up with. mother, everything was a fear. She was always afraid After I graduate, I’m doing another European adMOM: Probably not. of anything happening to me. I even have that with venture with one of my closest friends. I learned ItalALEXIS: Possibly yes. After that, I’m hoping to pursue a my siblings. I don’t even want my siblings to cross the ian and Spanish in college, so to be able to use those career in sales or public relations or follow my passion in street without us being right next to them. I don’t let skills again, I’ll be very happy. I love Europe. cooking. I could attend a school in Paris. We’ll see about them walk away from me in the grocery store. I’m just When we get back, I’m going to move back home leaving again. Paris is farther away than Chicago. like my mom. I always have been. I always will be.

“

Alexis will have a chance to follow her passion. Sometimes you’ve got to take a step back and not want to take the whole world in at once.” —DANIEL

Mom and Daniel visited Alexis in Italy during her whirlwind experience in her study-abroad program.

“

Alexis did what she wanted to do, and she made it. Pride is an understatement. I don’t even know how to describe what I feel.” —MOM

The perfect saying at Eataly in Chicago

SPECIAL MOMENTS In Alexis’ world-spanning journey, these are more of the memories that have made her the incredible person she’s become

“ Looking back on

the time with Alexis, it still just seems like everything is happening so fast.” —MOM

Alexis goes from baby to teenager in a blink, with so many oments of family, friends and, yes, kung fu along the way. m

“ The last 10 years,

things have just moved very, very quickly. And they’re not slowing down.” —MOM

Throughout the years, the family has shared big milestones and quieter one-on-one times together.

Alexis explores Italy and the town of Positano, part of the travel experiences that established a strong pull to Europe.

The magic of New York City’s Times Square in winter and Mom’s trips there for work open many options for Alexis’ career path.

“ Alexis has always been

ahead of her years. That’s going to help her in the future.” —DANIEL Alexis fills the role of loving big sister, supportive niece and cousin, and caring friend to so many people in her life. 77

“ Our family is an

example. Now I always hear, ‘I hope my daughter turns out just like yours.’ —MOM

Mom and Alexis, together at the end of a long road and at the beginning of another.

“ After all of this so far, I’m just like my mom. I always have been. I always will be.” —ALEXIS

“

I’ve learned so much from all of my experiences. I’m excited for what the future holds and to see what’s next.” —ALEXIS