LOST CHILD OF GREECE One Orphan’s Incredible Journey Home
Amalia Gouvitsas Balch with Elaine McAllister
RENDEZVOUS WITH DESTINY...................................... 1 The Hearse Led the Way Greece: Where My Story Begins Flying Tigers Welcome to Ameriki Introducing Henry Introducing Lillian Surviving the Dirty Thirties Adopting Amalia The Two Who Loved Me Butterfly Kisses MY BIRTH MOTHER, MARIA......................................... 19 A Carefree Childhood Cultural Expectations Calloused and Cruel Alone in Patras The Coverup Continues An Angry Escort Escorted by an Angel Philotimo: Lost or Personified
MY LIFE IN AMERIKI ..................................................... 35 Home Sweet California Home Ordinary Heroes - Extraordinary Legacy My Early Days in America Headless Fish, Fried Chicken, But Never Eggs! Bulldog Faith and Miracles Cardboard Snacks and Plastic Mats Lights. Camera. Action. The Second Act Fantasies, Bullies, and Underdogs 500 Bricks and a Cadillac Flowers, Floats, and Parade Memories Souvenirs of the Heart Summertime Adventures I Do! I Do! One Blessed Family ONCE UPON A TIME IN A FARAWAY LAND .............. 65 A Glimpse of Greece War’s Ugly Aftermath Tria Hornia! The Needy Children of Greece The Code of Silence It’s a Man’s World Mothers, Babies, and Illegal Adoptions Queen Frederica One Baby at a Time America’s Humanitarian Response Piecing Together my Past Abandoned. Orphaned. Adopted. Goodbye Greek. Hello English. What's in a Name? Amalia Adoption, a Beautiful Concept
Chosen! But Do I Exist? Who Am I? MY RETURN TO GREECE ..............................................87 Hands-On Research Visiting the Holy Land Welcome to Greece Rrreeeal Grrreeeks! Road Trip: Finding Me Angels Among Us Yet Another Move Dear Mr. Gage, Aglow: Alaska Maios! Agatha Hope Changes Everything A Blast From the Past The Past Meets the Present Asking Hard Questions Farewell to Foster Care Old Wine Skins. New Wine. Another Letter from Greece Greek Food, Hospitality, and Dance! Remembering Andreas Modern Day Greece My Grecian Hometown: Patras The Achaia Clauss Winery Rhodes and Lindos The Absence of Joy NEWS FLASH: BABIES FOR SALE ............................. 127 Scandals and Secrets Media Mania Serving Through SEASYP 13
The Jewish-Greek Connection Fragile Feelings. Delicate Souls. Vague Facts, Ugly Accusations, and Miracles A Bittersweet End to a Noble Endeavor MY PERSISTENT PURSUIT ......................................... 151 In Search of More Than Roots Confrontation and Denial Reunited, Finally! (Epitelous!) One Single Picture Secrets Revealed. Silence Broken. Media Spotlight Reunion Regrets Coffee is Life and Life is Coffee The Streets of Neapoli Perplexing Similarities The Olive Tree Parable Food, Wine, and Dance! The Greek Key Forever ... Greek-American! Flight #800, Departing Athens Mercy Rewrote My Life Maňa Maria Voice Prints Life is Paradoxical WOUNDED WARRIOR ................................................. 179 Overwhelming Issues of an Adoptee Foster Child Flashbacks Drowning in Memories Dark, Haunting Memories The Unwanted Child Trauma, Transitions and Other Issues Submerged Trauma 14
God Speaks! Just Another Tentacle of Grief Without Passion Unexpected Episodes Silent Movies Endless Dreams Life’s Epiphany Choosing Freedom I Want What I Want Memories and Triggers Healing the Heart Healing Grace Broken and Beautiful Forgiveness The Right Path This is My Story Opa! MY STORY CONTINUES ............................................... 213 The Three of Us My Biological Father My Father’s Eyes I Know You Exist, But I Don’t Care. 2021 The Best is Yet to Come For Amalia With Love MY JOURNEY THROUGH THEIR EYES .................... 223 From My Husband, Richard From Our Son, Adam From His Wife, Annie DEDICATIONS AND ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS .......229 EPILOGUE ....................................................................... 233 15
understanding of what might have become of this lost child of Greece had I not been adopted. That journey to understand forever impacted my life. My bubble-wrapped world exploded to one of harsh realities. I was jolted back deep inside to a place I rarely stayed long enough to be comfortable. A place where silent, swirling, and troubling memories resided. A place where vague recollections and unanswered questions hovered. A place filled with jagged shards of deeply-buried and fiercelyprotected memories. What really happened to me? Who was responsible for my disappearance from my homeland? And, why? My remarkable story reveals the power of God’s love, and His ability to change everything. It’s the story of tragedy, death, and loss but it’s also the story of God’s amazing grace to heal. From humiliation to exaltation. From pollution to purity. From desertion to consolation. This is my story.
Greece: Where My Story Begins I was the product of less-than-reputable actions in a land ravaged by a decade of wars. These were dark, shameful, and tumultuous times for my impoverished people. Greek children were stolen from families and abducted off the streets then illegally sold for enormous sums of money to unsuspecting, childless couples. I was one of those children.
And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. John 8:32
Each of us has a story and each is intertwined with stories of the people we love, places we cherish, and memories we hold. Mine is complex, and defies imagination; actually proving truth is often stranger than fiction. My life was miraculously transformed by the divine power of God, the Architect of my soul. I was labeled an orphan and my adoption was part of an international network of questionable exchanges of goods (children) by greedy, selfserving agents on both sides of the Atlantic in a humanitarian effort to find homes for Greece’s abandoned and war-handicapped children. Greed 3
resulted in an abundance of America-bound foundlings delivered by airmail as fast as the orphan planes could transport their precious cargo. Journey along with me through the aftermath of WWII and the Greek Civil War. Explore the culture and drama of an ancient civilization which provided the foundation of my life. In contrast, consider the lives of a selfless couple thousands of miles away in Southern California who made a loving decision to adopt an orphan from across the Sea of Korinthos. They selected — from one single picture — a sad, shy ragamuffin and a phenomenal journey began. There’s an age-old debate over which is most important, nature or nurture. This, I know. If not for my parents’ nurture, nature might have ruined me. Miraculously, I was placed in their loving arms and welcomed into their hearts. My American parents epitomized what’s known to Greeks as philotimo (the love of honor). They always did the right thing. Abandoned, I went from the doors of an orphanage to the land of milk and honey. From illegitimate bastard to beloved child.
Flying Tigers In October of 1955, a Flying Tigers flight left Athens bound for America. The airplane was filled with irritable babies, frightened children, and weary chaperones. The flight remains a blur to me except for the deafening roar of the plane’s engines which hurt my ears but My earliest passport
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An Angry Escort Shortly before my 3-month birthday, I was abandoned and placed for adoption according to records at a Patras orphanage. My birth mother and I were only allowed a few months together before I, too, was whisked away in order to lessen the shame of others. I often take a sentimental journey, imagining our final moments together on that fateful day – mother and daughter. I envision a frightened, hollow-eyed, village girl shrouded in black, shoulders stooped, with a baby carefully wrapped in a blanket made by her mother. Yet, I wonder…did my yiayia ever see me? Was I ever tenderly cradled in her arms – even once? How can a grandma NOT welcome a grandchild into the world? Even in war-torn Greece? I don’t know. I see Maria move slowly toward the weather-worn door of an orphanage as she awaits the inevitable. Oblivious to my own future, I look lovingly at my mother and reach to touch her face with tiny fingers. Agony distorts Maria’s delicate features as darkness conceals her face. I cannot see her face. I never see her face. Maria wasn’t alone when she abandoned me. No, she was escorted by her stern-faced brother whose purpose was not to offer support to his little sister, but to be sure she did as she was told to remove his shame. He demanded the unthinkable of Maria. The mission that day was to discard this unwanted, bastard child. My frail, broken mum looks at my small, innocent face with eyes that must capture this sacred moment for eternity, realizing she will never see me again. With the concentration of one judged and sentenced, Maria engraves a mental snapshot in the memory bank of her heart as she traces the shape of my tiny face…my nose, my chin, the dimples which grace the borders of my smile. All the while, Maria cherishes the clutch of my tiny fingers, wrapped tightly around hers. Maria’s family struggled for survival in the aftermath of wars, and she had no husband. Given such grim circumstances, what chance did Maria have to keep and care for me? Misery was all Maria knew until she closed her eyes in death, leaving the world where she was treated as a slave by older brothers. Her life and death labeled me as a bastard and propelled me straight into Greece’s black-market. I was a child, for sale. Man’s calloused depravity demanded two lives; hers through death and mine through the sins of the mother and father. 29
Mothers, Babies, and Illegal Adoptions Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat. Mother Teresa8 Greece was destabilized by the unbelievable human casualties and economic ruin of wars. My homeland was recovering from atrocities and bloodbaths. People were on edge. War-weary Greeks, often illiterate, were beaten down to the point they simply believed what they were told by authorities. Reportedly, during this time, babies were snatched from the arms of mothers by those attending the births. Doctors, nurses, and even priests were bribed into telling single, destitute women their newborns died or were stillborn. These innocent children were actually sold and shipped to faraway places. Professionals acted out a Greek tragedy of good vs. evil, perpetuated by the vulnerability of women who had no means of supporting their children anyway. To fight was pointless, yet heartbroken mothers were forever tormented never knowing what happened to their babies. Precious, innocent children vanished as if they never existed. Many foundling homes, orphanages, clinics, and even hospitals were suspected of involvement in these exploitative adoptions. Unbelievably, the offspring of financially-needy mothers were designated as foundlings before being prepared for the adoption funnel. The decision-making process must have been traumatic for families trying to do what was best for their children in those times. Due to the widespread poverty of post-war Greece, some parents willingly (and permanently) surrendered their children because they simply couldn’t feed or care for them. Countless women – many too sick, naïve, or impoverished – left their children at institutions believing it was their only choice. Others did so because of threats from family members, as was the case with my own birth mother. 72
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ost Child of GreeCe: one orphan’s inCredible Journey home provides a foundational view of the history of war-torn Greece, overlapped by the personal nuances of one family’s response to the shame of illegitimacy in a male-dominated society more focused on hiding secrets than nurturing its children. Add the greed of self-serving operatives in a black market, baby-selling racket and you’ve got a riveting memoir. Readers will be captivated by this inspirational journey through woundedness toward healing and wholeness.
amy Gouvitsas balCh was adopted at the age of five by adoring parents and raised in Southern California. Always aware of her adoption and unique Greek heritage, she describes her life in America as ‘mostly wonderful’ yet she was haunted by early-childhood trauma. Her persistent pursuit of truth resulted in a dream-come-true reunion with her birth family, yet some pieces of the puzzle remain to be found. When Amy met Elaine McAllister at a quaint shop in Central Kansas it was not by chance. Amalia had an incredible story to tell and Elaine has a way with words. Together, they polished words and organized Amy’s story into what it is today. In that moment, Amy’s memoir became more than just a dream. Both recognized God is in the business of such divine encounters. Amy has been involved in faith-based ministries, nationally and internationally, most of her life. She and her husband, Richard live in Mesa, AZ near their son, daughter-n-love, and two grown grandchildren. In her spare time, Amy enjoys playing the piano and keeping up with their four rescue dogs.
elaine mCallister is an award-winning writer and multi-genre author of Celebrate Grandparenting (101 hands-on ideas), The Road to Explode (for strong-willed kids and those who love them), Harvest of Joy (an equally breathtaking memoir), and My Brain is Amazing (helping kids who struggle to become their best). When not writing (which is rare), Elaine enjoys spending time with her husband Jim, riding motorcycles (hers is a trike), watching athletic grandkids (they’re the best), and wandering antique malls (in search of treasures). www.elainemcallister.com ISBN 9781737156703 ISBN 9781737156703
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