EMPLOYEE ASSISTANCE REPORT
Volume 12, No. 7 July 2009
supporting
EAP
professionals
Grief in the Workplace Walking Alongside of, Learning from, & Listening to the Griever By Deb Kosmer eath is a fact of life that affects all of us in a variety of ways. It may be the death of a loved one or the person we bumped into everyday at the office water cooler. But, it can also mean the death of a dream, the end of a marriage, a job layoff, or a child that disowned us. We all know people who are hurting. Sometimes those people are our co-workers…or the head of the company. And sometimes WE are those hurting persons. Fearing judgment or rejection, we are sometimes afraid to talk about losses. In other cases, the loss may be too painful to discuss. Losses and fears can also immobilize an individual and make a return to work — or continuing to work — extremely difficult.
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Helping isn’t Easy Helping hurting employees can be complicated, challenging, and confusing, especially when the employee’s needs and reactions change from one day to the next. The grieving person is often unsure what they want from others, which complicates things further. Just as there is no rulebook as to the length and pattern of grief, July 2009
there is no right way to respond, no checklist of solutions to provide needed assistance. It is important to remember that grief is not a cloak someone can take off when they walk out the door. It accompanies a person wherever he or she goes, which by necessity includes the workplace. It is commonly understood that a person who is grieving the death of a loved one will feel sad, and that is often the case. However, the strongest feeling they may be struggling to deal with might involve guilt or anger. These feelings can be harder to share, and possibly more difficult for someone to hear. In order to effectively help others, we need to recognize our own levels of discomfort, our hot topics, our perceptions…and perhaps our misconceptions about “the right way or length of time people should be allowed to grieve.” Helping a grieving employee also involves a balancing act between supporting the hurting worker, while also juggling workrelated responsibilities. Achieving this balance is not easy. We want to show we have compassion and are committed to the employee’s needs, but in the day-to-day operations of a business, it isn’t always
possible to be as generous and understanding as a company might wish to be. When to Make a Referral Grief is a natural response to loss, but most people will not need the help of a professional in dealcontinued on Page 2
F E AT U R E D I N S I D E X Tips on Reducing Stress in Difficult Times X Understanding Communication Styles is Crucial X Email Protocol is Crucial X Think Long Term vs. Quick Cash X Communication Key to Effective Distaster Plans X Avoid these Credibility Busters X Show Them the Recognition INSERTS X Brown Bagger: The Palette of Grief© X Payroll Stuffers X LifestyleTIPS©
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