do you know the 3 R’s for retiring folks? Bert Cherian  1
G
eneral Macarther said at his farewell, “Old generals
don’t die; they just fade away.” That once they give you the gold watch (and its pretty thinly plated these days) and sing ‘he’s a jolly good fellow’, you’re expected to ride off into the sunset. What a lie. And a lie will imprison you. Fortunately, the truth will set you free.
Welcome to the I.A.S.? You’ve slogged all your life. Gave up a lot so that the family could do better. Remember how you tightened your belt so that the children could get that field trip to Agra? Now you’re retired or near retiring and what’s changed? Nothing. You’re still slogging… and tightening your belt. There’s a painful joke about the IAS. Let me explain. We’ve seen too often that children go to fine colleges, 2
migrate to another country, and settle down there. Then there a wedding. A nice boy. He did his engineering and then his MBA. Now he’s an Investment banker.
Then their kids showed up. And who’s looking after them? The Indian Ayah Service. Parents are expected to make the run across to the US or UK or Ujjain or wherever and “help out” the children. Which is what you’ve been doing all your life. If you have two kids, it means you do 3 months at one place and 3 months at another. Don’t get me wrong. Grandkids are great. But are they your responsibility? Sure, there are some upsides.
Is it okay to join the IAS?
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Are you the Sandwich Generation? If you were born before 1965, chances are you’ll experience the sandwich effect. This generation gets the short end of the stick. They will take care of their parents and take care of their adult children. Only no one will take care of them. After all, how on earth are children in the Chicago expected to take care of you in Chennai? Besides that flat is too small to accommodate you as well. And you’ll be cramping their style. The bad news is clear: you’re on your own.
Emotionally Adrift The big shift that comes at retirement is that you lose a bunch of friends at work. Soon after you notice that everyone around you is too busy. They have a life, right? And there’s only that much of TV you can possibly watch. What’s really going on is that you become emotionally lost. Its that doubtful question mark: ‘Do I count any more’? and that’s beginning to sink in.
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Dark Thoughts, anyone? Ever woken up in the night with a slight twinge in your chest. Or stomach. And right away, you’re thinking dark thoughts. You’re thinking, ‘I need to have a conversation about making a will. Can’t leave a mess behind after I’ve gone…’ Guess what? Making that will is important. So do it and put it behind you. And the dark thoughts as well.
Hello darkness my old friend?
Reverse an old song: ‘Goodbye darkness my old Enemy.’
Good Life vs Meaningful Life There’s the good life. Family, friends, dinners, vacations. Not bad at all. After a while it becomes a drag. There’s a staleness and a ‘been there, done that’ feeling creeps in. You laugh politely at the jokes though its not that funny.
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And then there is the meaningful life. Its a life of shining purpose and value. You make a difference. You count. Very few people make it to the Meaningful Life. Paradoxically though, the closer you are to retirement, the easier it is to make the transition to the Meaningful Life.
So what should you do?
Step #1 Revolt!
Author Jim Collins wrote: ‘Its difficult to have a meaningful life without meaningful work.’ You don't have to put up with the situation anymore. Recognise that you can reclaim your life, if you want to.
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Step #2 Reinvent Just a few days back, Sudhir Khera wrote in to say: it is always advised that one need to plan one's life decade by decade. And it applies to decade after retirement too, simply because one is retiring from work that one has been doing in the previous decades.� Couldn’t agree more. It means that we have a need to reinvent ourselves for the next decade!
Step #3 Repurpose After 30 plus years of work you have a lot of experiences, contacts, learning. Is this useful? Yes, it is but only if you re-purpose yourself. What does that mean? You move into the role of a coach and mentor.
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There are many organisations out there who need your input.
The energy of youth needs the wisdom of age! If re-purposing your life makes sense, mail us at response@metaresults.com
META RESULTS www.metaresults.com
Bert Cherian is an author, entrepreneur and executive coach. He is passionate about building people and organisations.
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