A new chapter for Singapore Mission School in Laos

The vision

The vision to establish the Singapore Mission School in Laos (SMS) was planted in the hearts of a group of Christian Singaporeans living and working in Laos in the early 2000s. In 2010, the vision took shape in the form of daily English enrichment classes for children between the ages of four and six years. Full day school in English and Lao started later that year.

In 2011, SMS was officially registered as a company with the intrepid husband-andwife team of Kok Liang and Lesley Yeow as directors. The plan was to establish the first Singapore-flagged school in Laos to provide quality education in the tradition of the mission schools in Singapore. This was supported by much prayer and material resources from the then steering committee and many well-wishers from Singapore.

The builders

In 2013, the school directors and the Methodist Missions Society (MMS) formed a strategic partnership to develop SMS to operate as a fully-licensed entity registered with the Lao education ministry. MMS and the Yeows signed a memorandum of understanding to provide support and funding for a purpose-built extension to the rented premises and for MMS to eventually own and manage the school.

By February 2017, the new extension was completed. Then Bishop Dr Chong Chin Chung dedicated the building and the SMS team in Vientiane. Concurrently, a school management board was set up with professionals from Singapore and Laos to provide strategic oversight for managing and operating the school.

SMS' unique curriculum was a draw as it had successfully blended critical elements of the Lao-language primary school curriculum with world-leading aspects of Singapore's English-based national curriculum.

The present

SMS currently has 105 students in its Kindergarten 1 to 3 and Primary 1 to 5 classes. Its school day begins at 8.30 a.m. and ends at 4.00 p.m. The school year runs from September to May while summer school—focusing on life skills enrichment through engaging and fun learning activities—is conducted over six to seven weeks from July.

The future

SMS is now part of the network of Methodist mission schools in Singapore and the region. We are united in our vision to provide quality Christian education to nurture and develop Laos' future leaders. Coming from diverse backgrounds, our students and families are our mission field.

Moving forward we need churches and individuals to:

• Pray | Our students, their families and our staff members need prayer.

• Serve | If you are an experienced school leader or teacher, use your God-given talents and experience to help us in teaching, management, curriculum development or programme evaluation.

• Volunteer | Join the individuals and groups who give weeks or months to serve professionally with our teaching and administration teams.

The unique Lao-Singapore kindergarten and primary curriculum ensures students graduate from Primary 5 as confident, capable and bilingually-conversant individuals, ready for secondary education.

MMS, the Yeows and the SMS Board continue to work as a team, united in the task of ensuring the continued development of the students, staff and facilities. The Yeows play an integral role as Principal and board members.

In addition to operational funding, the MMS provides support for student sponsorship to ensure that every Lao child who wants to be part of the SMS experience will not be denied entry.

In February this year, almost six years to the day the SMS extension was dedicated by Bishop Dr Chong, MMS Executive Director Rev Derrick Lau and MMS Regional Director Col (Ret) Quek Koh Eng joined the SMS Board and staff to mark the handover of the school to MMS. It was a meaningful occasion that also served to recognise the many hands and hearts who have come alongside SMS over the years.

• Partner | Methodist churches with a heart for missions can partner us by sending workers and project teams and providing support.

Glory to God, for indeed the best is yet to come!

Singapore Mission School, Laos is looking for a new Principal.

For more details, visit https://www.mms.org.sg/sms-laos-principal

Benny Bong has over 40 years of experience as a therapist, counsellor and trainer. He also conducts regular talks and webinars. Benny has helmed MM’s You & Your Family column for more than 16 years and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.

Rev Tay Li Ping is currently pastoring at Christalite Methodist Chapel. Trained as an Industrial-Organisational Psychologist before becoming a pastor, Rev Tay is particularly interested in the intersection of Psychology and Theology. She is married and has five sons.

Koh Ai Jin i s a registered clinical counsellor with extensive experience in marriage and family counselling, mental health concerns and psychological trauma. She runs her own practice and currently serves as Vice-President of the Association of Christian Counsellors (Singapore).

Need advice? Scan the QR code or visit https://www.methodist.org.sg/mm-atthe-well/ to submit your question. Due to space constraints and repetition of topics, we may not be able to feature all questions submitted.

Family

Moving on from parents' divorce

My parents divorced some years ago. I was already an adult when it happened. But till today, I struggle with feelings of betrayal, anger, disillusionment and sadness. I live my life in a constant attempt to escape from these feelings. My attempts at gaining closure by talking to my mother were met with, "You were grown up, don't be so sensitive! / You shouldn't be affected", or it would end up in a huge argument. Henceforth, I kept everything to myself. When I think of old times, the tears still start to flow, like it happened yesterday. My mother has remarried, but I still pine daily for my parents and family to be reunited. I don't want to live like this anymore. How do I move on?  Mary

Ai Jin says Dear Mary,

Perhaps you’ve hope that your mother could view things from your perspective and acknowledge the ways in which the divorce has impacted you. The outcome may seem futile, but the conversations with her have allowed you to put your sentiments across and are necessary for closure.

How do we define "moving on"? Perhaps it is personal healing and allowing time for the family to discover new ways to relate with one another. Your awareness and naming of feelings are the first steps which you have taken. It is in telling your story that you give yourself a chance to fully articulate your hurts, make sense of the betrayal and disillusionment, find release for the anger and pining, and seek consolation for the sadness as you grieve the loss of how family was before the divorce. Is there a trusted friend who can listen to and support you?

Some have found it helpful to journal, talk and pray to God. In laments of your pain and loss to God, may you receive healing, a renewed vision and restored capacity for acceptance of the situation, and regain joy in your life to fully engage in all relationships.

Friendships Is it weird I don't have a BFF?

I have a couple of good friends, some that I can share things with. However, I do not have a best friend. Also, though I have many friends from different social circles whom I meet with occasionally, I don't have one particular close-knit group that I often hang out with. I have been wondering for years: Is it normal not to have a best friend at all, or a close-knit social circle? Is there anything wrong with me or my personality?  Quinnie

Ai Jin says

Dear Quinnie,

You seem to hold a belief that "if one does not have a best friend or close-knit social circle, it is not normal" and also seem inclined to attribute a lack of that as due to your personality. Generally, friendships develop organically and there is a mutuality to it (it takes two hands to clap). There are many reasons why friendships form, maintain and grow deeper, while others grow apart. Life transitions, changes in interests and priorities and other reasons are often beyond one's control.

As such, it is unhelpful to allow this lack of a close-knit social circle to discourage you. Instead, how about focusing on the fact that you do have a couple of good friends and even some whom you can share things with, as well as diverse friends from different social circles? These are relationships which you do have and which you can build upon.

If I may do a pitch for church life groups, they are meant to be close as one's spiritual family. Perhaps do seek out one that is suitable for you as this can provide the opportunity to grow within a community that gives and receives love in Christ.

At The Workplace Friendship with a female colleague

I am a married man. I have a female colleague whom I work with on occasions for certain projects, and we get along very well. She is supportive of the work I do, and my feeling is reciprocal. Is it okay for me to have a casual or close friendship with my female colleague? Would eating a meal alone with her regularly, say once or twice a week, be perceived as suspicious? Is avoiding being friendly with her the safest way of steering clear from an undesirable relationship? 

SeemsOK

Benny says Dear SeemsOK,

A former client of mine struck-up a friendship with a divorced woman and they started having chats over drinks, and then later on, late evening suppers. They shared common interests. My client was firm that theirs was a strictly platonic relationship and that he had no interest to leave his wife. I suggested that if theirs was only a friendship, then he should introduce his friend to his wife. He was taken aback. Somehow, he knew that his wife would find the friendship less than acceptable. Would your spouse have any strong thoughts or reaction to your friendship?

When considering the appropriateness for married individuals to share a close relationship with persons of the opposite gender, this question makes no distinction as to whether both are married or not, or even if they are happily or unhappily married. This is because when we are married, it does not mean that we will not find others attractive or be drawn emotionally or romantically to them. However, with marriage, we do not give in to these impulses. We do so because we want to protect the marriage and keep our feelings exclusive and therefore special to our spouses.

You might also want to consider what makes your friendship with this person so meaningful. Is it meeting a need that is absent in your marriage? To be clear, our spouses may not meet all of our needs. Some may not have the same recreational interests as us or be able to talk deeply on topics of discussion that we feel passionately about. This does not mean that there is a flaw in your marriage. But friendships with those who share common interests should not replace the close bond that should exist between marriage partners. Be watchful if you begin to fantasise about this friend or begin to do special things with her that you would not do with your spouse.

Finally, as believers, we should be mindful that our public behaviour, not just our private thoughts, are also open to scrutiny. This last point reminds us that our lives are not our own to live according to our own needs and wishes. We are stewards of the gifts of life and relationships.

Dating & Marriage Struggling to trust God in providing a life partner

I've had a few failed relationships and I seem to be unable to meet the right one. Friends or peers around me are all happily married with kids, and I feel like I am the odd one out. When I attend weddings, I genuinely share the joy of the couple, but I try not to be reminded of my singleness. Sometimes I struggle because I have been trying to be faithful to serve God and trust that he will give me the best, but my Mum (who is not a believer) especially wonders why my powerful God is unable to provide. How can I cope with my struggle to trust that God is good and believe that he wants the best for me, despite not seeing signs of the right one on the horizon?  Want To Trust God

Li Ping says Dear Want To Trust God,

I hear your pain and disappointment that God has not provided you with a life partner that you so deeply desire. I am also hearing your doubts about trusting God’s goodness, power, and perhaps, even his love for you.

The challenge with following Jesus is that he calls us to deny ourselves, take up our cross daily and follow Him (Luke 9:23). Taking up our cross is needed in this sin-broken world, because until Jesus comes again, some of our deepest desires may go unmet. For me, it has meant multiple miscarriages. For others, it may be a struggle with samesex attraction. For you, in this season, it means being involuntarily single. God calls us to crucify even these deepest desires, because any desire that takes the place of God, is an idol. Would you be willing to surrender your desire to be married, so that in its place, you may desire God himself, first and foremost? As he purifies and heightens your desire for him, and you experience his goodness and love, will you then trust what he chooses to give you, be it a life partner or not, trusting that he knows best?

Family LGBTQ at my son's school

My 16-year-old son tells me that his school (an all-boys school) has a handful of students who have openly declared they are gay, bisexual or gender fluid. How should I handle this as a Christian parent, while showing that it is important to love all our neighbours?  Suzie

Li Ping says

Dear Suzie,

First, discern why your son shared this with you. Is he troubled? Nonchalant? Curious? Supportive? Is he looking for advice on how to respond to his friends? With greater clarity about why he shared, you can then sensitively bring in your Christian convictions. This means showing love in a way that reflects God’s truth and compassion.

Truth is captured in our Methodist belief that gender and sexual expression within the bounds of a monogamous, male-female marriage are part of God’s good, original design. Same-sex attraction and gender confusion, however, are expressions of a creation distorted by sin.

Compassion is expressed in the assurance that God is nonetheless renewing the world through the cross of Christ. As such, we show Christian love to our neighbours by sharing about his love with them first, and not demanding that they follow our beliefs before that. Without compromising on our own beliefs, we continue to treat them with dignity and respect due to all people, since all are made in God’s image.

Dating & Marriage Choosing the right person to marry

I am quite confused about how to discern whether a person is the right person for me. What signs might God provide to help us better discern whether we are compatible with others?  Mr E

Benny says

Dear Mr E,

Choosing the right person is often associated with the possibility of having a good marriage and a happier life. However, this is only partially true. A good marriage is also about being the Right Person for your spouse. It is also learning how to make the couple combination between you and your partner work well.

Begin with knowing your needs and expectations. Needless to say, it is also important to keep your needs realistic. Expecting someone to always know when and how to make you happy would be unrealistic.

Alignment of interests, values, lifestyle and life plans is another important ingredient. This discovery comes with having long and deep conversations over time. Along the way, if the relationship does not feel right, you can always reconsider. Do not feel forced into a relationship or feel that you have to "settle" for what you get.

When you think you've found the Right Person, introduce her to your good friends whose opinion you trust. The Right Person should look Right to others too. Get to know your potential in-laws as well because any marriage is about the joining of two families and not just two individuals.

Lastly, attending a marriage preparation course can help you confirm your choice and remind both parties that marriage is an institution with God in the centre.