Opinion ¢ THINK Monica Lim runs a copywriting agency and a blog on kids and education. She is the author of The Good, the Bad and the PSLE, and has co-authored 14 children’s books with her daughter, Lesley-Anne, some of which have garnered awards. She is a member of Christ Methodist Church. / Photos courtesy of Monica Lim
Andre and Lesley-Anne
(From left to right) Monica and her children, Andre and Lesley-Anne, on Christmas 2003
Monica and her children today
More than sparrows
M
y daughter, Lesley-Anne, was a precocious child. Long before she could speak, she could understand multi-level instructions. She did not start talking early but when she did, she spoke in perfectly formed sentences. She was generally a thoughtful and obedient child. I thought, “Well, bringing up kids isn’t all that hard!” Famous last words. Three and a half years after she was born, my son, Andre, entered this world loudly and proceeded to make his presence felt throughout his childhood. Compared to Lesley-Anne, he was like a squirrel on steroids. Uninterested in reading, he could never sit still, always zipping around the living room on his little car or dreaming up some mischief.
School blues Into their primary school years, the differences between my two kids magnified. Lesley-Anne was a model student and intellectually advanced for her age. Her strengths lay particularly in language and her work ethic made up for her weaknesses, such as in maths. She performed well academically and was accepted into the Gifted Education Programme (GEP). Andre, by contrast, treated school primarily as a playground to socialise and make friends. His Primary 2 teacher, in an attempt to stop him from talking in class, kept changing his seat until he ended up sitting by himself. His favourite periods were recess and PE. I would receive a call from his
28
|
METHODIST MESSAGE July 2021
form teacher every other day, complaining about his not doing homework or not paying attention. “God, give me strength” was my daily plea. Predictably, Lesley-Anne aced her PSLE and went to a brand-name secondary school. Andre turned in an average performance and went to a neighbourhood school. By human standards, Lesley-Anne is the one who made it, even blessed by God. But guess who had a more fulfilling secondary school experience? Being in a brand-name school meant a pressure cooker environment for Lesley-Anne. The work was pitched at what I thought was an unreasonable level, and anything less than an A grade was considered unacceptable. School felt like a place not to learn but to perform. Her self-esteem took a hit and she often felt inadequate. She was studying all the time and the stress manifested itself in acute eczema. Sleep was a rare commodity. By contrast, Andre wandered through his secondary school years without much of a plan, making friends and enjoying his badminton CCA, where he was given leadership opportunities as the team captain. His grades gave me many sleepless nights and heart-stopping moments. Yet, he was blessed with fantastically encouraging teachers. At parent-teacher conferences, they would glance at his lessthan-stellar report card and say, “But he’s a very nice boy!”
