Why? A father’s reflections on suffering
group of my secondary school friends, whom I have not seen since 1974, organised a crowdfunding project to buy us a car with a wheelchair ramp and space for two wheelchairs and three passengers. So besides caring for our children at home, we now try to provide meaningful experiences to which they can look forward. We believe bedridden people with incurable diseases need not just lie in bed waiting to die. We can, with the help of the community, give them meaningful experiences. Besides taking our children daily to the garden below our HDB flat, we also take them regularly to places like Jewel Changi Airport and Gardens by the Bay. As a father, it is very painful having to watch helplessly as our children suffer, lose their abilities and eventually pass on. I shed much tears in secret and cried out to God: “Why? Why must my innocent children suffer?” “Why not me?” “Is it because of my sins, my lack of faith or my not persisting in prayer for healing that my children are not healed?” Though I already had theological answers to such questions, my desperation drove me to turn to the Scriptures again. I carefully studied many passages on healing and answer to prayers. Whereas in the past I learnt them as promises for believers to claim, my re-examination of these passages in their broader literary settings revealed such understanding was wrong.
Indeed, our Heavenly Father has been very present with us throughout this long journey with our children. He has brought many people, including strangers, to rally around us. It is because of their love, prayers and sacrificial support that I can serve God in teaching at the Singapore Bible College and ministering to other groups and individuals while helping to provide the intensive care that has enabled our children to live way beyond their life expectancy. Justina turned 30 recently and Titus will be 25 at the end of the year. God may have put my family through fire. At the same time, He has also brought loving people to form a ring around us to shield us from the direct blasts of the fire.
I also read the book of Job for help to put into words the frustrations I could not express. I did not expect many answers as scholars have said that in the book, God did not address Job’s questions. To my surprise, I found much comfort in Job. When I read how God vindicated Job that he had spoken rightly of God (42:8) despite all that he said to God, I felt relieved that it was alright to pour out my frustrations to God. Second, God can grant his creatures the joy and courage to go through life, despite the hardships and dangers of life (39:13–28). Third, God is in control of the most powerful evil mythic monsters and has set limits for them (40:15– 41:34). Finally, when Job said: “I have heard you with the hearing of my ear, but now my eyes see you” (42:5), I learned it is the presence of God that can bring comfort and sense of purpose. We experience God’s presence in many ways. Once, NUH refused to discharge Justina even though she was ready to be sent home because they learned that the screen of Justina’s ventilator was damaged. A couple, whom we do not know, somehow heard about our need. They took a flight from Indonesia to Singapore the next day to give us two high-quality ventilators. Then, three years ago, a
David and Loo-Geok endeavour to provide meaningful experiences for their children
METHODIST MESSAGE June 2021
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