Methodist Message: March 2023

Clashing generations in the Church

Every member in ministry

Three signs that you're burned out from serving

On His Majesty's service

Editorial Board

Adviser and Publisher

Dr Anthony Goh

Chairperson, Council on Communications

Communications Manager

Lynn Tan

Managing Editor

Alvin Tay Editor

Lianne Ong

Communications Executive

Kathrynn Koh

Sub-editors

Lucy Cheng

Janice Khoo

Tan Chiu Ai

Proofreaders

Kenneth Lee

Christabel Tan

The official monthly publication of The Methodist Church in Singapore. Published material does not necessarily reflect the official view of The Methodist Church. All Scripture quoted is based on the English Standard Version unless otherwise stated.

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Contents

/ Bishop’s Message /

/ News /

3 State of the Family 2023

5 Fairfield Methodist Church celebrates 75 years

9 ETAC Thanksgiving Service 2023

11 ACS to set up 5th SPED school in Singapore

/ Feature /

13 Clashing generations | Intergenerational challenges in the Church

18 3 signs that you're burned out from serving

/ Opinion /

20 Soundings: Every member in ministry

22 Young Voices: What do you mean, you want to leave your church?

/ Outreach /

24 Breaking bread, breaking barriers

26 To grow in love

/ Worship /

28 Serving to complete our joy in grace

/ Relationships /

31 You and Your Family: Living with a "thorn in the flesh"

/ People /

33 My experiences enabled me to connect with children

ON THE COVER: At Faith Methodist Church, a typical live stream crew consists of 10 members. Faith Methodist Church is one of the few churches that began live stream operations prior to the pandemic, and shared their knowledge with churches in Singapore when the pandemic affected church services in 2020. Photo credit: Faith Methodist Church.

Good economists of God's grace

"Good stewards" in the verse above is literally, in Greek, "good economists". The Bible urges us to be good economists of God's grace.

The verse says that each of us has received a gift or "grace" from God. (The word gift is related to the Greek word for grace.) Since each of us has a "grace" from God, let us be good economists in investing that grace "to serve one another".

This issue of Methodist Message highlights ways in which we might serve God by serving one another in our churches. There are many varied ways of doing this, just as 1 Peter 4:10 says: "As each has received … God's varied grace." We can serve in many varied ways because each of us has received varied gifts or graces.

Martin Buber tells the story of a famous Jewish Rabbi who, on his deathbed, is concerned about what God might ask him when he arrives at the gates of heaven. His disciples ask him, "Rabbi Zusya, are you worried that God will ask you why you were not as hospitable as Abraham, or as wise as Moses?"

"No," replied Rabbi Zusya. "If God asks me that question, I know how to answer. I did not match the hospitality of Abraham nor the wisdom of Moses because I was not given the great measure of grace and wisdom which they received. My concern is not that God will ask me why I was not Abraham or Moses. My concern is that God will ask me why I was not Zusya."

Each of us has received a gift—different from each other in measure and kind. Let us be good economists of God's grace given to each of us. Or as Edward Hale said (I paraphrase):

No one can do everything, but everyone can do something. The something I can do, I ought to do. And by the grace of God, I will.

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace.

(1 Peter 4:10)

A hospitality volunteer greets churchgoers at Faith Methodist Church.

Photo: Faith Methodist Church

1 Martin Buber,  The Way of Man: According to the Teaching of Hasidism ( New York: Routledge Classics, 2002), p. 10.

Left: Mr Vijayendran with his fellow panellists, as he comments on the important role of parents, counsellors and educators

Right: Minister Shanmugam in dialogue with FOTFS CEO, Mrs Joanna Koh-Hoe

State of the Family 2023 launches practical solutions to raise children in a highly sexualised world

Focus on the Family Singapore (FOTFS) held its 9th State of the Family Singapore (SOTF) on 2 February. This year's theme was "Family in the Coming Age". About 340 representatives from schools, social service agencies, faithbased organisations, and community partners attended.

The Guest-of-Honour was Law and Home Affairs Minister, K Shanmugam. In his opening address, Minister Shanmugam reiterated the Government's reasons for the repeal of Section 377A (S377A), and outlined Singaporeans' concerns about the definition of marriage and the impact on current housing policies after the repeal. Minister Shanmugam said that the Government has no intention to change the existing definition of marriage, and is committed to ensuring that there are no challenges to this definition. He emphasised the Government's decision to amend the Constitution and define marriage to be that between a man and a woman.

Minister Shanmugam also mentioned the Government's commitment to strengthening and upholding families at every stage of life, describing the family as a "cornerstone" of Singapore's social compact. Additionally, he raised the importance of building a society where different views can flourish and where "cultural intolerance does not take root". He spoke on the Tripartite Alliance for Fair and Progressive Employment Practices as a framework to keep society safe and healthy, and expressed his hope that different parties, including the Government, schools, employers, individuals and organisations can work together.

Youth representatives shared their views in the next segment: Mr Raphael Zhang, a counsellor, highlighted identity politics as a contemporary societal issue, while Ms Nairul Farah, a researcher, raised the difficulty of expressing views on divisive issues, and questioned how we can build a more gracious Singapore. Minister Shanmugam, in dialogue with FOTFS CEO, Mrs Joanna Koh-Hoe, explained the need to caution against being "hard-lined" with our own views, and also highlighted the importance of managing global influences on our culture.

Ms Alicia Boo, Chief of Impact at FOTFS presented her research regarding the state of the family. She highlighted the threats facing marriages, such as the lack of marital intimacy and the rising use of pornography. This was reflected in FOTFS' Marriage Quiz in 2022, where 30% of participants faced challenges in sharing things deeply with their spouse, and in the Whole Life Inventory (2016-2020), where 39% reported viewing porn in the past twelve months. She mentioned a rising trend of younger people being conflicted about dating, marriage and having children, and concerned about issues of redefining marriage and family.

Ms Boo highlighted the challenges of framing sexual identity for children in a post-S377A Singapore, listing four frameworks which are used to frame sexual identity today: biological sex, social constructs, sexual inclination or sexual expression. She cited that 79% of respondents in a Family Champions survey felt that parents ought to play the largest role in sexuality education, and that conversations about sexuality ought to be undertaken by parents. The Whole Life Inventory (2016-2020) revealed that only 17.5% of youths and 9.5% of young adults have open conversations about sex with their dad or mum.

A panel discussion on "Solutions for the Family" followed. Moderated by Chong Ee Jay, Lead of Programmes at FOTFS, the panellists were: Mr Gregory Vijayendran, Partner, Rajah & Tann, Chairman, Law Christian Fellowship, and Marriage Builders Alliance co-facilitator; Ms Yvonne Kong-Ho, Parent, Educator & Youth Developer; and Ven Daniel Wee, Vicar, Church of our Saviour.

On the topic "Who can help the next generation well?", Ven Wee raised the importance of starting young when helping children to frame healthy perceptions about gender. Citing that parents should begin when their kids are as young as pre-kindergarten, he

lamented the difficulty in reframing gender concepts once children are older. He also encouraged parents to be invested in their children's education.

Ms Kong-Ho shared anecdotes of her parenting experiences, illustrating her model of "conceptualisation before contextualisation". She outlined how she communicates with her children, for example, by emphasising the roles of "mummy" and "daddy". She explained that this would help her children understand sexual identities, and if there was an instance where a same-sex couple was shown on a television drama, the model of sexual identities would help her talk to her children about what is portrayed in the drama.

Mr Vijayendran acknowledged that the youth are in a cultural battle today, and stressed the importance of parents, counsellors and educators on staying ahead of the values game.

After a short Q&A session, the event concluded with Mr Chong introducing the "Celebrate Marriage" campaign. He also showcased some of FOTFS' resources, designed to help different parties in their respective journeys of dating, parenting or marriage. FOTFS also launched the "Talk About Sex" video series, a micro e-learning programme where parents receive a video, tips and conversation guides weekly in their email inbox. The series helps parents to nurture an open and healthy approach to sexuality education in the home. It covers curious topics such as "Where do babies come from?" and "What is a crush?".

Amos and Karen Ang, who are volunteers with FOTFS and attend Wesley Methodist Church, found State of the Family 2023 helpful. Amos mentioned that the discussions provided "different solutions that people, especially parents can use to address the challenges that they have". Karen added, "It's not only all talk, but includes actionable and doable strategies."

In 1983, Fairfield Methodist Girls' School moved from Neil Road to a new space in Dover. As an affiliated church, the members of Fairfield Methodist Church had to choose: follow the school to Dover, or stay in her current neighbourhood. They discerned that God wanted them to be in Chinatown—their calling and ministry would be there.

In response, members gathered after church for months, sacrificing their lunch preferences and money for wholemeal bread and Milo instead. They did this in faith for God to provide the funds to purchase an old cinema building at the junction of Maxwell and Tanjong Pagar Roads. This sense of purpose and spirit unified Fairfield.

As the church gathered in unity 40 years ago, our 75th anniversary marks a unique season of restoration and coming together again, as we move towards our centennial. Fairfield's mission is for every member to be committed to magnify God, multiply disciples and minister to all peoples in Singapore and beyond. Looking ahead, as we consider how church life has been disrupted, it is time to reflect on what an authentic Christian faith in community means, especially for the younger adults.

Resonance, Restoration and Renewal

Fairfield Methodist Church celebrates 75 years and looks ahead to a new season

A song, "Come Magnify the Lord", was written to commemorate this occasion, weaving in another song, "We Magnify", that was written in 1998. The choruses of the songs can be sung simultaneously, signifying harmony and unity across the generations of Fairfield, all magnifying God as one.

On 29 January, over 650 people from the English, Cantonese and Mandarin congregations celebrated our 75th anniversary, kicking off the year of celebratory events. We had the privilege of hosting TRAC President, Rev Stanley Chua and his wife, Vice-President Dr CheahFoo Fung Fong and her husband, with 12 other community partners, who toured our Heritage Room before adjourning to lunch. Hawker stalls from Maxwell Food Centre—26 of them—also played a part by providing food for our celebrations.

Our hope is that the 2023 theme—"Cultivate authenticity, Embrace our community"— will be expressed in many ways. As church vibrancy ebbs and flows, we seek to renew connections with one another; a great way is through intentional fellowship in eating together. Starting with the church anniversary lunch, there will be monthly

lunches to mingle and share stories about God, life and faith.

It may feel challenging to share a meal with acquaintances or those who mainly speak another language, but our desire is that churchgoers realise how we are all part of the body of Christ, instead of distinct small groups or congregations. The stories we share of faith, suffering and his everlasting grace may inspire a lunch buddy to delve deeper into an authentic relationship with Jesus, join a small group or discover a new platform to serve in church.

Besides embracing community within Fairfield's walls, we want to reach those in our spheres of influence, like Maxwell Food Centre hawkers, and through our outreach arm (Yong-en Care Centre) to Chinatown and Jalan Kukoh. God-willing, regional missions will resume to countries like Malaysia and Thailand.

On 18 February, we participated in the Kreta Ayer RC Spring Festival, amplifying our commitment to be a steadfast presence for good and the gospel. Fairfield's City Connect ministry has restarted, offering Maxwell diners respite from the heat. Within two months of restarting, two diners received Christ as their Lord and Saviour.

We believe that the harvest is plentiful, and we need to faithfully and obediently work where the Lord calls us to.

As Fairfield's original lease winds down, church members were mobilised in February to each cover a 75-kilometre distance over five months, and invite loved ones' support by walking together and giving financially. These funds will be funnelled to the church's lease renewal, which costs another $3 million for a 30-year extension. Beyond raising funds, this endeavour is like walking with Jesus—a reminder that we are not alone in our Christian walk, even when it feels passionless or arduous. An authentic Christian community provides a safe space to experience God and his truth, and to work out our salvation with fear and trembling, relying on his sovereign provision to meet our needs.

The stories of God's faithfulness need to be told and retold, so that generations to come will hear, know and believe that he is always working in our lives, families and church. We look forward to what he will do in Fairfield Methodist Church and beyond!

Left: (from left to right) LCEC Chairman Mr Mark Zhou, TRAC Vice-President Dr Cheah-Foo Fung Fong, TRAC President Rev Stanley Chua, Pastor-in-Charge Rev Wendy Tay, Honorary Steward Ms Hee Piang Chin, Pastor Reginald Chan and Rev Ivan Tan

Below: Bringing an offering of worship through flags, dance and music

THEME VERSE FOR 2023

They shall speak of the might of your awesome deeds, and I will declare your greatness. They shall pour forth the fame of your abundant goodness and shall sing aloud of your righteousness.

(Psalm 145:6-7)

An excerpt from "Come Magnify the Lord":

May the young among us shout Your praise, and the old declare Your greatness, Not just with empty words, but acts of grace that reflect Your righteousness. And may those who see it turn to You, touched by us who call on Your name. O Holy Spirit, work in hearts anew, and bring the lost back to You.

For the anniversary songs and other 75th Anniversary celebratory events, visit Fairfield Methodist Church's website: www.fairfieldmc.org/75Anniversary

Left: Over 650 attendees at the 75th Anniversary Service, with current and past church members celebrating God's faithfulness together

Below: Church members mingling after the 75th Anniversary Service

ACS (International)

ACS (International) Singapore is a distinctive international secondary school open to all Singaporeans & other nationalities, offering an all-round English-based education for students aged 12 to 18 years leading to the International General Certificate of Secondary Education (IGCSE) and the International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme (IBDP)

Building Through Belief, this school of choice provides

• Exceptional examination results, strong value-added achievement and an all-round holistic education

• 50:50 mix of local and international teachers who uphold the dual Methodist ethos and ACS heritage

• Small class sizes with overall student-teacher ratio of 8.7 : 1

• 40 different CCAs – 16 Sporting, 12 Visual and Performing Arts, 12 Special Interest Groups

• Over 200 formal student leadership positions

• Scholarships for four Singaporeans to undertake the IBDP

Achievements include

• Students with perfect score of 45 points in IBDP

• 23 “Top in the World” awards in IGCSE examinations over each of the past twelve years

• Students accepted to Oxford and Cambridge universities for the past eight years

• Admissions to top universities in the UK, the US, Australia and Singapore

• PSLE and GCE ‘O’ Level students obtaining outstanding value-added examination results for the IBDP and improved pathways to good universities

For more information, please contact Joseph Ng or Serene Lim at +65 6472 1477 or admissions@acsinternational.edu.sg

• Successes at national level in Athletics, Touch Rugby, Debating, Orchestra, Volleyball, Taekwondo, Ice Hockey, Fencing, Swimming, Artistic Swimming, Rhythmic Gymnastics and Wushu

Senior Leadership Team

Mr Gavin Kinch Principal Mrs Tan Siew Hoon Vice-Principal

Dr Kristopher Achter Vice-Principal

Mr Christopher Hayward Vice-Principal

Over 300 members from Emmanuel Tamil Annual Conference's (ETAC) eight churches gathered at Ang Mo Kio Tamil Methodist Church on 28 January to celebrate the Lord's abundant grace and faithfulness for the past year. It was the first in-person Thanksgiving Service in three years.

The annual Thanksgiving Service kicked off with the Emmanuel Praise choir, made up of members from each church, singing a classical Tamil song as key appointment holders including Pastors and Lay Leaders entered the Sanctuary carrying a cross, a Bible and banners bearing the names of their Boards and their Local Churches. An exuberant time of worship then followed as the people sang praises in unison. Songs of hope were interwoven into the service and rendered by each church

as the service progressed. It was also the first time the newly established ETAC Children's Choir was part of the Thanksgiving Service and it was conducted by Dr Judith Laoyan-Mosomos, Director of Worship & Music, Methodist School of Music.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

John Pravin Nesan is a member of Ang Mo Kio Tamil Methodist Church. / Photos courtesy of Wilson Devadasan, member of Seletar Tamil Methodist Church

Designed by Ms Benita Vincent & Mrs Gnanamany Philip

Processional

ETAC President Rev Philip Abraham delivered the sermon and introduced the theme for the year: Sow. Speaking primarily from Mark 4:13-20, Rev Philip emphasised the call presented to us Christians to sow the Word in order to reap a plentiful harvest for God's kingdom and his glory. He then took the opportunity to share ETAC's Vision 2024: Pray, Seek, Sow, Harvest. This year's focus is sowing the Word and the members of the congregation were encouraged to continue sowing despite the challenges presented by the world.

The service concluded with a song of blessing delivered by the Pastors and their spouses as the congregation prayerfully looked forward to another year of God's unwavering faithfulness.

Top: ETAC

Children's Choir

Right: ETAC's worship band, Emmanuel Praise Band

ACS to set up 5th SPED school in Singapore

ACS (Primary) to move to Tengah and go co-ed

doing so, ACS hopes to fulfil its mission in providing holistic education for a wide and diverse cross-section of society.

The new school will begin operations in 2026 at an interim site that previously housed Chua Chu Kang Secondary School. It will then relocate to its permanent campus at Tengah New Town, tentatively in 2031.

Anglo-Chinese School (ACS) and the Ministry of Education (MOE) announced on 9 February 2023 that ACS will set up Singapore's fifth special education (SPED) school for students with Autism Spectrum Disorder who can offer the National Curriculum.

The yet-to-be-named school will be run by ACS in partnership with Methodist Welfare Services (MWS), the social concerns arm of The Methodist Church in Singapore. By

"We are deeply grateful to have this honour of serving students with special needs by providing them with quality education. It is a vision the ACS Board of Governors have had for a long while now and we are truly appreciative that our constant discussions with MOE over the years have culminated in this humbling opportunity to serve humanity in a new way. With access to resources and cutting-edge SPED pedagogies, we aim to contribute to the upliftment of special education in Singapore," Mr Richard Seow Yung Liang, Chairman of the ACS Board of Governors, said.

In the same media release, two points took the Methodist community by surprise: ACS (Primary) [ACS(P)] would be relocated to Tengah New Town in 2030, some 12 kilometres away from its current location at Barker Road as part of the wider development of the new residential estate. ACS(P) would also transition to a coeducational (co-ed) institution.

The Barker Rd campus where ACS(P) and ACS(Barker) are located. Taken in 2003.

Photo credit: Wesley Loh/ Memphis West Pictures

"From its founding, Bishop Oldham's vision for ACS was to serve the needs of the nation and the community by filling a critical gap and to develop servant leaders. With the changes announced by MOE today, we are strengthening the school's commitment to these values. ACS has always set out to be a beacon of truth and light, to serve those most in need and this is best done by increasing the diversity of our student base. By relocating ACS(P) to Tengah to serve a new neighbourhood as a co-ed school, the ACS family will serve more students' educational and co-curricular needs. This achieves a more inclusive educational offering as one of Singapore's mission schools," Mr Seow added.

With this move, ACS(P) would also bring with it its Gifted Education Programme to Tengah.

While the relocated ACS(P) at Tengah will admit Primary One (P1) students from 2030 onwards with full P1 admission priority for siblings and alumni, with the assistance of MOE, the relocation will not affect any present ACS(P) students who are enrolled at the Barker Road site, as MOE will apply a "teach-out" model to allow existing students already enrolled in ACS(P) at Barker Road to remain until graduation in Primary Six.

ACS (Junior), currently operating at Winstedt Road, is slated to move to the Barker Road campus tentatively in 2039.

Bishop Dr Gordon Wong of The Methodist Church in Singapore supported the initiatives and said: "I am heartened to hear of the founding of the special education school. As children of God, it is our duty to shine our light before others, as per ACS' mission, and I believe that the upcoming plans honour our dedication to doing more for the community with our resources as well as giving us the opportunity to plant a church in a new town."

Reactions from alumni and public

The move to an up-and-coming heartland precinct and opening the school to girls was met with mixed reactions from the alumni. Some felt that it fulfilled the ACS mission, but wondered why the alumni was not consulted. Many were concerned that there would be a loss of identity and change in culture of their alma mater with its new location and turning co-ed.

The Straits Times education correspondent Sandra Davie called the move the "right" and "gutsy" thing to do by ACS and MOE, saying it allowed "less well-off" students to have "more education pathways". 1 Other media outlets reported the potential increase in property prices in Tengah New Town. 2

A townhall was held for OBA members on 23 February at ACS (Barker). Methodist Message was not able to report on this in time for this issue's print edition.

2 Chew Hui Min, CNA , 9 February 2023, Prices of Tengah homes near ACS (Primary) could rise 10% to 15%: Property analysts, https://www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore/acs-primary-tengah-property-prices-schoolrelocate-3265786 (accessed 9 Feburary 2023)

1 Sandra Davie, The Straits Times , 13 February 2023, "ACS' move to the heartland opens more pathways to less well-off pupils".

Ho Wei Hao was a social worker in a local Family Service Centre before working as a civil servant in various government ministries. Along the way he earned a Master of Divinity (MDiv) from Biblical Graduate School of Theology (BGST). Wei Hao has served in youth and young adult ministries over the years, and strongly desires to help bridge the gap between different generations in the Church which is the body of Christ.

CLASHING GENERATIONS |

Intergenerational challenges in the Church

Anyone who has served in a church ministry is likely to be able to share an anecdote or two about some misunderstanding or conflict that arose between members belonging to different generations. "That's life!", you may sigh, but instead of resigning ourselves to it, we have undertaken The Generations Project in the hope that our research can help to facilitate greater empathy through a deeper understanding of each generation. Our study focuses on the formative experiences that influence the ways each generation approaches church life and faith. The Generations Project is a compilation of the insights we have drawn from our 131 in-depth interviews with participants from 63 local churches across ten denominations and roughly 1,700 survey respondents 1 across five different generations of Christians in Singapore. The publication is available from 18 March 2023 (details on pg 17) and we hope you will read it for a more balanced and complete picture than we can present in this short article.

We will focus on our insights of Millennials and Gen Z Christians here.

The problem of perception

It is no secret that most of our local churches are struggling with engaging and retaining the young adults and youths identifying as Millennials (born between 1981 and 1996) and Gen Zs (born between 1997 and 2012). Our research and church engagements threw up trends of similar concerns that older generations harbour about Millennials and Gen Zs with regard to their service in church ministries:

• A lack of perseverance that usually results in reduced longevity of their service in church

• Many "one-issue" Christians who can be extremely passionate and vocal but tend to ignore the systemic concerns of running a church

• Many who are not willing to "carry the torch" from preceding generations and instead, want to do church "their own way"

What factors might have brought about these impressions?

Am I just a cog in the church machinery?

In a Forbes 2018 article titled "How Millennials Are Changing the Way We View Leadership" Ashira Prossack wrote:

"Authoritarian leadership is out, and inclusive leadership is in. The emerging trend in leadership is a manager who directs, not commands. Long gone are the days when the boss can hold the role of a dictator, disconnected from the employees sitting somewhere in a corner office. Millennials even prefer the term leader rather than boss."

Indeed, many of our younger interviewees expressed their struggle with the hierarchy and bureaucracy that they experience in church.

While not totally opposed to the concept of hierarchy, they did not think it was necessary for it to exist in all contexts, particularly not in church where, they reasoned, it is potentially detrimental to the building of relationships and therefore a hindrance to the furtherance of God's kingdom. Two factors may have contributed to this way of thinking:

1. Unlike preceding generations, Millennials grew up in a social and cultural setting where authenticity and individualism were celebrated and encouraged. Their focus was to achieve their fullest potential and be true to their own passions. Thus, an over-emphasis on hierarchy is often perceived as pressure to conform which runs counter to what they espouse.

2. In many churches, the system that has been mapped out makes Millennials and Gen Zs feel like "a mere cog in the machinery", with their worth determined by the function they

fulfil. For many of them, the common model of serving in ministry appears to be being involved in one event after another. They end up feeling as though they are treated only as a resource to achieve a certain goal. In their opinion, this results in relationships between clergy and laity that tend to be very transactional.

The experience related to us by one interviewee, while not normative, illustrates the struggles faced by both Millennials and Gen Zs often near the bottom of the hierarchy in church. Having recently graduated from medical school, she became a first-year intern at a hospital. The shift work requirements meant she had almost no control over her time on weekends. When she approached her worship ministry leader to express her need to step back from ministry for a time, the only response she received was that she should ensure that someone would take over her duties. In her own words, she lamented: "I felt like a tool being discarded because it was no longer useful."

Will you ever take me seriously?

Many Millennial and Gen Z Christians are second-generation Christians attending the church their parents brought them to. Their familiarity to older church leaders who had literally watched them grow up, coupled with the influence of Confucian values in our society, had many of them questioning if and when they would be taken seriously by the leadership. They often feel as if they are "the stifled" generation (see Millennial archetype 4 on next page).

Not unexpectedly, the marketplace has a profound influence on how they navigate church life. Although most of them may be in the early stages of their working life, Millennials and some older Gen Zs in the workforce subscribe to the predominant

worldview that competency and results are more important than experience (which is often perceived as outdated, anyway) and loyalty. This often makes it difficult for them to "submit" to their elders or leaders in church when there are differing opinions and hierarchy and/or tradition are the main deciding factors.

Why are we only interested in what happens in church?

The Third Lausanne Congress in October 2010 was convened to discuss critical issues of the time relating to the Church and evangelisation worldwide. Attended by over 4,000 Christian leaders from 198 countries, the Congress later produced a statement of shared biblical convictions, which included the following statement:

"The falsehood of a 'sacred-secular divide' has permeated the Church's thinking and action. This divide tells us that religious activity belongs to God, whereas other activity does not."

While it may not be fully representative, our research has shown that the older generations, due to their very valid formative experiences, tend to perceive church activities as having greater importance than what happens outside the church. 5

Among Millennials and Gen Zs, the sacredsecular divide has been increasingly discarded. That pastoral or ministry work is "holier" or higher on a hierarchy in the kingdom of God is a viewpoint they consider outdated and even arrogant.

Since they consider all work, whether within the Church or not, as equally "holy", the lopsided emphasis of the Church on certain activities (usually church-based) and its lack of engagement with important issues in the world has caused some to see the Church as becoming increasingly irrelevant. Thus, the drive and motivation to serve exclusively within the context of a church they perceive as inward-looking is dampened for them.

Where do we go from here?

"Every generation takes for granted the good that went before it, reacts against the bad, and responds within its own historical context." 6

In our research into the five different generations, we have found this statement to be quite true. Whichever generation we belong to, we are often guilty of reading the other generations through the lens of our own. We use the concept of the "generational gap" as an excuse for ignoring the need for understanding and empathy. Due to the constraints of length in this article, it may appear that I am siding with the younger generations. That is not so. I have merely attempted to present the concerns that we heard without any assessment of their validity. While there is a need for older generations to understand the younger ones, it is equally important for the younger generations to understand what older generations went through and why they are wired to approach certain issues in particular ways.

1 As of Feb 2023

2 Silent (Born 1928 – 1945), Baby boomer (Born 1946 – 1964), Generation X (Born 1965 – 1980), Millennials (Born 1981 – 1996), Generation Z (Born 1997 – 2012)

3 https://www.forbes.com/sites/ashiraprossack1/2018/05/18/how-millennials-are-changing-the-way-we-viewleadership/?sh=33a825e5384e

4 There are 7 different Millennial archetypes detailed in The Generations Project

5 See chapter on Sacred-Secular Divide in the book for a more in-depth discussion.

6 Elizabeth A. Nesbit Sbanotto & Craig L. Blomberg, Effective Generational Ministry (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2016), 261.

In our findings, there is no doubt that all generations are genuinely concerned about the Church and have equally valid considerations. However, with the unprecedented pace at which the world is changing, it is possible that our churches now comprise different generations of Christians with vastly divergent views and approaches to the practice of the faith who may lack awareness of the differences between the generations. Instead of trying to "solve" a "problem" that we have observed, maybe we need to pause and seek first to increase our understanding of others and to empathise with them.

The online survey will be conducted from 1 March to 27 March 2023.

Silent Generation (Born before 1945)

Baby Boomers (Born between 1946 and 1964)

THE GENERATIONS PROJECT

Officially launches on 18 March 2023. Pre-order the book from 5 March 2023 and enjoy 10% discount. Visit Graceworks https://graceworks.com.sg/store/ category/pastoral-resources/thegenerations-project/

Gen X (Born between 1965 and 1980)

Millennials (Born between 1981 and 1996)

Gen Z (Born between 1997 and 2012)

We are constantly seeking to increase the accuracy of our insights through the collection of more data. If you would like to help us, please complete the survey using the link below that is relevant to your generation.

3 signs that you're burned out from serving

29 September, 2010. That was the day I realised I was burned out. As a young Christian undergraduate, I thought that I was immune to burnout. After all, wasn't I doing everything "right" by serving in multiple church and campus ministries every week?

Though these were good things, I failed to realise that growing deep within me was a "Martha spirit" focused on "doing for God" that was choking out my rested "Mary spirit" of "being with God" (Luke 10:38-42). As a result, my ministries shifted from ones of gratitudefilled actions to joyless service—and my relationship with God suffered.

Like the elder son from the Parable of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15, I gradually saw God less like a father and more like a tyrant who demanded more and more of me. My desire to "do for God" entered a spiritually-toxic level.

The warning signs

How did this happen? I realised the culprits were my pride in my Godgiven abilities, a myopic view for others' approval, and a secret resentment toward

God when plans did not turn out my way or when I was not acknowledged for my efforts. I wrapped my service up as "ministry unto others" when some of it actually became "ministry unto self".

What made my slide into burnout more dangerous was the mask of cheerfulness I wore over my ailing spiritual condition. I didn't share my struggles when asked how I was. Burnout was far from being an overnight process—because of these unchecked misguided perspectives, I had been headed for burnout for years. Through Scripture and the guidance of mentors, I was humbled to learn the symptoms of spiritual burnout.

First of these was a bitter heart that resented the Lord. I remember travelling between my university located in the West and my church located in the North multiple times a week—a journey that took almost one and a half hours. It was particularly stressful for me to complete my homework, pack up all my materials needed for assignments and rush back just in time for church meetings or to lead cell group usually without time for dinner.

By Sarah

I was reprimanded on occasion for not being able to attend some evening church meetings. I felt very much alone and misunderstood. This caused resentment toward my church and God, whom I felt was making serving "near impossible" for me.

A second symptom of burnout that surfaced was that I secretly expected repayment for my service toward God in terms of recognition for my efforts. This was perhaps similar to how the elder son in Luke 15 wanted something from his father to celebrate with his friends. When my times of appreciation were few and far between, my heart became even more bitter toward God.

A third symptom of burnout was reliance on human ability and strength. This symptom is evident in Elijah's cry to God, "I have been very zealous for the LORD … I am the only one left" (1 Kings 19:10 NIV) These words showed how prone Elijah was to forget that God was the source of help— the driving force behind all of the work he was doing (1 Kings 19:18). Similarly, I started to feel that if I stopped serving, things would fall apart. But just as it was in Elijah's day, all of God's work is sustained by him, not us.

The path to recovery

The months following my burnout helped correct my perception of God. I relearned that God did not need me to "do", but to just "be" his beloved child (1 John 3:1). After consulting with mentors in church and on campus, I chose to step down from serving in church ministries. That allowed me more time and focus to love and serve God on campus for my season of university life. I also took the advice of my mentors and set aside time to meet with the Lord, where he patiently reminded me of his grace and mercy. Why was I trying so hard to gain the fleeting approval of man? I have inherent

worth. Once on a podcast sermon, I heard a pastor say, "The worth of something is what is paid for it." I am made in God's image paid for by the blood of Christ, a massive cost that determines my massive worth in God's eyes. I am full and complete in him, so I need not chase after man's approval!

I am also encouraged by God's patience with Moses, Elijah, Job, Jeremiah, and Jonah in the Bible—all of who faced discouragement and burnout from serving God. Indeed, God loves his children and does not give us tasks to burden us, but to grow our relationship with him and make us more like Christ. We are not called to be self-sufficient, but to remember that God is sufficient for our every need (2 Corinthians 12:9). God, our Good Shepherd, knows our human frailty and invites us to rest in him and rely on him.

Today I have made it a priority to regularly check my heart before God and share my spiritual condition with trusted mentors. This is especially important when I consider a new commitment or reflect on my involvement in church and parachurch ministries. I ask myself: Am I doing this for the Lord or myself? Am I relying on God's strength or my own? Is this out of a heart of gratitude?

I have learned that joyful, vibrant service comes from a joyful, vibrant relationship with God that has been guarded from weeds of self-sufficiency and well-watered with time spent with God to enjoy him and his Word. Such service is a choice that comes from loving God and serving him simply to say, "Thank you!" With what the Lord has given us, let us be thankful, rely on him, and use it for his glory—so that on that final day we can hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant … come and share your master's happiness" (Matthew 25:23)!

Every member in ministry

One of the many problems that have arisen in some churches in America due to the Covid-19 pandemic, with its frequent and erratic lockdowns, is the significant drop in the number of Christians serving in their respective churches.

According to an article published in Christianity Today (CT), "Over three quarters of US pastors said they were concerned about developing leaders and volunteers, as well as people’s apathy and lack of commitment."

A pastor interviewed by CT states baldly: "A lot of churches lost their long-term, reliable,

go-to people and were left with no one. That’s been the challenge. Where do you look now to find a new base of volunteers?" 1

Thankfully, the situation is not quite so dire for churches in Singapore, postpandemic. Still, much more can and should be done to encourage every member of the congregation to participate more fully in the life and ministry of the church.

Paul employs the metaphor of the human body to emphasise, as John Stott puts it, "the unity of the church, the plurality of its members and the variety of their gifts". 2 In his letter to the Christians in Rome, Paul

Dr Roland Chia is Chew Hock Hin Professor of Christian Doctrine at Trinity Theological College and Theological and Research Advisor at the Ethos Institute for Public Christianity.

/ Photo courtesy of Ang Mo Kio Methodist Church

"… so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them…"

(Rom 12: 5-6)

Ang Mo Kio Methodist Church's Worship & Music Ministry leading praise and worship at their 44th Anniversary celebration service on 2 Oct 2022

teaches that every Christian is a member of the body of Christ, the Church. Paul also stresses the fact that the members are dependent on one another and must serve each other with the gifts that God has sovereignly given each one.

In this same letter, the apostle provides a catalogue of ministries that are found in the Church—prophesying, serving, teaching, encouragement, giving and leadership (Rom 12:6-8). This list is far from exhaustive. But the point that the apostle wants to make is simply that these ministries are not reserved for a special class of Christians within the Church. Every member of Christ’s body must participate in them in accordance with his or her respective gifts.

This important truth was recovered by Martin Luther during the 16th century Protestant Reformation in the wake of the elitism of the clerical hierarchy of the Church of his day. Establishing his teaching on the priesthood of all believers on 1 Peter 2:9 ( "You are ... a royal priesthood" ), Luther wrote emphatically that "In this way we are all priests, as many of us as are Christians." 3 He goes on to further establish that "everyone ... who knows himself to be a Christian, (should) be assured of this, that we are all equally priests, that is to say, we have the same power with respect to the Word and the sacraments."

However, this does not suggest that the Reformer has totally banished the idea of the ordained clergy in his ecclesiology, as some are wont to interpret him. Instead, he maintains that "no one may make use of this power except by the consent of the community or by the call of a superior," 4 thereby emphasising the importance of ordination within the larger context of the priesthood of all believers. The person who is thus set apart by the Church therefore

does not stand over and above it. He or she is but a member of the "royal priesthood", the charismatic body of Christ.

This is consistent with the teachings of the New Testament—while Paul stresses in many of his letters that every member of Christ’s body is a minister endowed with spiritual gifts, he could also speak of the offices of the elder, deacon, pastor, teacher, etc. (Eph 4:11-14; 1 Tim 3:1-7; Tit 1:5-9).

The doctrine of the priesthood of all believers, when properly understood, does not encourage anti-clericalism. Conversely, the office of the clergy and its specific place in the Church does not in any way contradict or make superfluous the fact that every member of Christ’s body is called to serve.

Put differently, although God has set apart some members of the Church to serve as bishops, priests, pastors, elders, deacons, missionaries and teachers, he has also called every Christian to be a minister in the body of Christ.

Those who avail themselves of this calling become God’s fellow-workers (1 Cor 3:9) and participate in the mystery of his redemptive work.

1 Kate Shellnutt, ‘Church Leaders Are Still Waiting for Volunteers to Come Back,’ Christianity Today, January 14, 2022. https://www.christianitytoday. com/news/2022/january/church-ministry-volunteergallup-survey-lifeway-wr.html.

2 John Stott, The Message of Romans (Leicester, UK: Inter-Varsity Press, 1994), 326.

3 Martin Luther, Babylonian Captivity. Luther’s Works, edited by Helmut T Lehmen and Abdel R. Wenz (Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg Fortress Press, 1959), Volume 36: 113.

4 Ibid., 116.

What do you mean, you want to leave your church?

"I'm thinking of leaving my church," said one of my close friends. Later, a second and a third friend also brought this up during a meal. Soon, I could no longer count with both hands the friends who had decided to leave their church, or the Church. What was happening?

When I started tertiary education, I joined a campus interdenominational Christian community and heard from other young adults what life in their churches was like. I heard accounts of spiritual growth and tight-knit small groups. I also heard of deep dissatisfaction and the desire to leave their churches.

For one group, they wanted to give up on Christianity entirely. They wanted to walk away from the universal Church. They had "tried church" and it did nothing for them. They had been through Sunday school and youth services, but nothing connected with them. Some I believe were true believers, but they lacked basic understanding of the faith. Others were like the hard ground in the parable of the Sower and the evil one had snatched away what little Bible truth they had (Mt 13:3-9, 18-23).

But there's a second group who wanted to leave the church. These wanted to leave their current local church for a new one. Common complaints from this group included: "I'm not growing in my church", or "The teaching in my church is inadequate." Many friends felt this way and they explored other churches, seeking one that could meet their spiritual needs. In my uncharitable moments, there was a minority of them whom I thought of as church (s)hoppers or consumers.

Another situation I experienced was when my own church small group graduated from youth ministry. Everyone took different paths, be it National Service, tertiary education, work, or something else. During this transition, it became difficult to meet as everyone was adjusting to a new life phase. To varying degrees, the group members deprioritised church. What I've noticed is that when a young adult's church community starts to falter, it can be demoralising, and one might start seeking other communities outside the church they grew up in. Some look for another church with a "more vibrant" young adult scene, others find an alternative community to replace church altogether.

Ryan Kwok serves in Kampong Kapor Methodist Church as the curriculum head of its Youth Ministry. He has been teaching children and youth for the past six years. / Photo courtesy of Ryan Kwok and illustration by Dominique Wang

There are legitimate reasons why someone changes church. I've had conversations where the quality of Bible teaching was the issue, the way worship was conducted, and even what the mission of the local church was.

Then there are more personal reasons for leaving. I've friends who have felt bullied or ostracised in Sunday school or youth ministry. Others have struggled with questions about the faith but could not find satisfactory answers. For them, the Bible came up short. (This should never happen in the Church! God's Word has the answers. This is one of the reasons that compelled me to help with the youth's Bible curriculum.)

One of the factors that helps keep people in church is service. The Holy Spirit has bestowed on every believer at least one spiritual gift (1 Cor 12:7-11) and it's our responsibility to use it to serve our local church (Eph 4:16). When I first began serving in Children's Ministry, it was humbling to hear fellow teachers tell me they'd been praying for weeks for another teacher; and I was the answer to their prayer! I realised that being part of the church meant being loving and unselfish as we engage in mutual ministry, using our gifts to care for one another (1 Cor 12:2526). Every believer is an integral part of the body and should be serving others with their spiritual gifts (1 Pet 4:10-11). I felt a greater sense of belonging, even ownership of my local church, after I began teaching Sunday school, and my peers that were serving felt the same way too.

One observation about those who leave is that many of them have not seriously considered this question: "How can I obey God and use my God-given gifts to build up the church I'm in?" Heart breaking as it is, some have a consumeristic attitude towards the church. They overemphasise: "How can my needs be met?" Perhaps they should heed Paul's words about each believer being given a special role to build up their church. The question then becomes: "How can I do my part to meet the needs of others in my church?" Serving is part of spiritual growth.

This is not to say that serving in church is always the answer to what keeps young adults in church. Many of my friends were very involved in their own churches before they decided to move to a different one. While we might be sad to see people leave our church for another, we should encourage them as fellow believers to stay strong in their relationship with God, recognising that every individual has their own spiritual journey to walk, regardless of which local church they decide to join. But from my experience, I have noticed that many who leave the church entirely had never really participated in the life of the church. They were more like consumers or spectators.

Thankfully, several Christian Fellowship friends who did change churches are now thriving. Others, after much reflection, chose to remain but they've applied themselves by bringing back to their churches what they've learnt from campus ministry. And we continue to spur each other to serve our churches with our spiritual gifts. Regardless of which local church we worship in, I take heart in the truth that we are all still unified as one: the body of Christ, the universal Church.

Ryan Kwok

All her life, Mdm Ong Quee Huay, 81, had never celebrated Mother's Day … until last year.

Wong Pey Wah, 71, and Wong Soo Hwee, 63, a pair of MWS befrienders, had brought Mdm Ong out for simple Chinese fare at a food court. That broke down barriers between Mdm Ong and the duo, who had been visiting and befriending her for four years then.

"It was our first time bringing Quee Huay out for a good meal. We had become very familiar with her by then, so we knew her medical history, and what kinds of food she had to avoid," shared Pey Wah, a volunteer befriender at MWS Active Ageing Centre –Kebun Baru.

"Over that meal, she told us how touched and thankful she was as it was the first time someone brought her out to celebrate Mother's Day. Before, she seemed distant

and saw us only as volunteers. But after that day, we became closer. We also found out that we share the same surname (in Chinese), and now we often joke that we are related!"

The concept of table fellowship, where barriers are broken down and bonds are forged over meals, is the basis of The Giving Methodist's Eat Share Connect campaign this year. Table fellowship was Jesus' way of connecting and establishing solidarity with the poor and marginalised, and generally, those who were considered outcasts during His time. Sharing a meal around a table is where strangers become friends.

From 22 February to 6 April 2023, Methodists are encouraged to connect with low-income families or the socially isolated over a meal. The campaign aims to build a more inclusive community by imitating Jesus' example of table fellowship.

By the Methodist Welfare

Communications Team / Photo & illustrations courtesy of Methodist Welfare Services

From left to right: Mdm Ong Quee Huay with MWS befrienders, Wong Pey Wah and Wong Soo Hwee

Pey Wah, who attends Ang Mo Kio Chinese Methodist Church, will not only be taking part in Eat Share Connect, but has also rallied her friends to join the outreach and invite socially isolated seniors in their neighbourhood for a meal.

"I intend to bring Quee Huay and another befriendee out for lunch. Both of them are elderly and the pandemic has really exacerbated that sense of loneliness. I hope the get-together will open up their world and assure them they are not alone," shared Pey Wah.

"After retiring, I've been looking for ways to give back to society. There are a lot of socially isolated elderly out there who need our care, and I want to reach out to them. I want them to feel like they are a part of the community, and it makes me happy to see others happy."

As we rebuild our social lives after the pandemic, let us not forget the disadvantaged, isolated and distressed who continue to feel the strain of the crisis.

Eat Share Connect is a communal outreach centred around table fellowship, which was Jesus' way of connecting with the marginalised and outcasts during his walk on earth. The epitome of love, Jesus broke barriers to embrace all with open arms.

This Lent , be a friend to those in need by hosting a meal for them at your home, church, an MWS Centre or in public venues like community clubs. You can also give a donation to provide meals to those served by MWS, or spread the word and encourage others to join the cause.

For more information, visit www.thegivingmethodist.sg or scan the QR Code to donate.

Joe Ling is an affiliate missionary of Methodist Missions Society, serving in Nepal as the Country Director. He is married to Connie and they are both from the Sarawak Chinese Annual Conference (SCAC). / Photos courtesy of Methodist Missions Society

The Methodist Church in Nepal (MCN) has adopted L.O.V.E. as the acronym representing the key focus areas for MCN churches. L.O.V.E. represents Leadership Development, Organisation Framework, Vibrant Community, and Enduring Ministry.

In line with the L.O.V.E. goals, the theme for the 14th Session of the MCN Annual Meeting was "To Grow In Love". After three years of conducting the Annual Meeting via Zoom due to the pandemic, the Annual Meeting was held on 3 November 2022 onsite at Wesley Bardan Methodist Church (WBMC). It was presided over by Bishop Dr Gordon Wong. It was attended by Rev Derrick Lau, MCN Mission Superintendent and MMS Executive Director; Rev Vincent Goh, Field Board of Ministry (FBOM) Chairperson; and Rev Benjamin Lee, FBOM Registrar.

There were two guests from Barker Road Methodist Church, Dr Serene Chee and Ms Leong Chin Yee.

The Annual Meeting included the Ministerial Meeting, a Fellowship and Welcome Dinner with the national church leaders in Nepal. The presence of Nepali church representatives from other denominations underscored MCN's growing relations and unity with them, which has enabled church leaders to encourage one another as they share in undertaking the gospel work in Nepal.

For the first time, there was a vibrant Nepali Praise & Worship segment at the Opening service. Bishop Dr Gordon Wong preached on "Peace", once again reminding us all to pursue the true peace that can only be given by Jesus Christ alone.

During the Closing Service, Rev Derrick Lau preached on "War Against Strongholds". As servants of Christ, he reminded us to be alert, watchful and be ready for war against strongholds. Rev Pradip Kumar Limbu, the sixth Elder, was ordained. Our congratulations to Rev Pradip and his family for supporting him in his ministry all these years.

The 14th Session of the Annual Meeting was an important milestone for MCN. The strategic plans and goals were articulated and will form the framework for the MCN workplan for the coming years. The strategic plan is centred on Growth and Building Capacities for MCN.

• Growing Leaders

• Growing Churches

• Growing Financial Resilience

• Growing in Relevance

The reports have been encouraging, highlighting the growth of MCN in all areas and ministries. God’s faithful hand has been witnessed in MCN over the past 14 years, and it has been a wonderful and fruitful journey. Efforts will now be redirected to preparing and equipping the next generation of clergy and laity leaders. In the area of church planting, the objectives are to plant new Outreach Points and to move Preaching Points and churches to the next level. There is much to be done, with the first milestones achieved providing great encouragement for MCN to do even greater things. May MCN continue "To Grow in Love"!

Right: Bishop Dr Gordon Wong, Rev Derrick Lau, Rev Vincent Goh and Rev Benjamin Lee with MCN Elders

Serving to complete our joy in grace

Have you encountered "charity muggers", the people paid to conduct face-to-face solicitation on behalf of the charities who hire them? Some genuinely believe in the cause that they're paid to promote, while others approach it with the same level of enthusiasm as a rebellious teenager forced to do something against his will. The former invest their hearts into what they believe will make a genuine difference; the latter work out of obligation to fulfil contractual terms.

This is analogous to Christians and Christian charity. Some view the outward activities of the church—outreach, social concerns, and evangelism in particular—as terms in the "Christian contract" they hope no one will call on when the time comes. This is certainly not the way to live as a Christian. But God can work to melt hardened hearts and mould them into reservoirs of love. What was once burdensome could eventually turn into a burden for the less fortunate and the lost.

I was reminded of this spiritual phenomenon as I listened to Andrew and Susanna Pan's "Seek, Love, Serve the Lord", which won first prize in the MCS130 songwriting competition. Why should the Christian live in service to others? How is the heart for Christian service sustained?

Verse 1 unequivocally answers these questions: the Christian is called to follow in the footsteps of our Lord Jesus, the ultimate example of service and obedience to God. Bearing the cross to redeem an undeserving mankind is the greatest act of service. Any Christian who has attempted to understand the depth of God's love will see that all acts of service are a response to that love. Indeed, "we serve not to show we deserve, but to make our calling election sure".

But surely all human charity has its limits. Can we truly serve with such conviction all the time? The chorus helps articulate

Justin Chan is a Programme Executive at Methodist School of Music, Worship & Church Music Department. As a reformed rock musician, he believes hymns and heavy metal can co-exist for the glory of God. / Photo courtesy of Queenstown Chinese Methodist Church

Queenstown Chinese Methodist Church's combined choir

how this is possible: It is God who prepares all the good we need fulfil, it is God who works in us to choose to do his will. Thus is the beauty of our redemption story in Christ: God has ordained all our acts of service under his sovereignty, and he will provide the means of grace to fulfil them. As Paul writes in Galatians 2:20 (NIV), "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

If this sounds like Christian service turns people into mindless automatons, consider the personal prayer in Verse 2 and the exhortation in the Bridge: "Close to [h]im we have to stay to feel [h]is heart and share [h]is way". We need to continually and consciously pray for the love and joy of the Lord to fill us. God created us with the ability to make personal choices. If we give ourselves to Christian service, if we truly desire to walk in Jesus' footsteps, God promises that he will make a way. If we don't, God will not force his hand on our lives. We could live a life without service, but it will be a life lived without experiencing the miracles that could be encountered through serving those Jesus clearly loved: "Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me" (Matthew 25:40).

Indeed, as the song succinctly puts it, may "we serve [because] we love the one who first loved us", and, "we serve to complete our joy in grace".

Seek, Love, Serve The Lord

© Andrew & Susanna Pan (2015)

Verse 1:

We look to the finished work of Christ our King He walked in obedience to the end For the joy before Him, He dared the cross And showed us the life we need to tend.

No more can we add to His redeeming work We serve not to show that we deserve But to make our calling election sure The joy of our inner faith preserve!

Chorus:

Seek the Lord! He prepares all the good we need fulfil.

Love the Lord! He who works in us to choose and do His will

Serve the Lord till He says to us: "Well done, good faithful one!"

Praise the Lord! For He sanctifies when in Him we serve as One!

Verse 2:

We pray for the love and joy of God to fill Our lives till it overflows to serve Mend broken lives and wounded faiths

In hope standing in the gap for love.

We serve 'cause we love the one who first loved us,

We serve to complete our joy in grace, By His Spirit's strength we serve to give The honour and glory He deserves!

Bridge: Close to Him we have to stay

To feel His heart and share His way!

Eternal Peace

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Some of you would have experienced getting a wood splinter embedded in your hand. As you try to extract the splinter, bits may come away but some remain stubbornly buried. You then fluctuate between finding ways to remove it and ignoring it while hoping that it will somehow disappear.

Apostle Paul wrote of a "thorn in his flesh"—a problem that plagued him. It is unclear what it was, but he sought the Lord to remove it several times. For reasons unknown, God allowed it to remain.

For some of my clients, the thorn in their flesh is a difficult spouse. Complaints about their spouses include that they are demanding, difficult to please, badtempered and to top it all, unwilling to come for counselling.

Clients living with such a thorn in their flesh may seek counselling in the desperate hope of learning some way of behaving around their spouse which would satisfy the latter and thereby reduce conflicts. Some plead with the counsellor to invite, coax or even trick their spouses to undergo counselling and thereby get their spouses to change. Needless to say, such attempts rarely work as counselling does not work vicariously. This means that the person who needs to change must take responsibility for their own behaviour and make the necessary changes.

Unfortunately, the client who comes for consultation is often on the receiving end of bad or unreasonable behaviour. So, what do I offer these clients besides a sympathetic ear?

One response is to help them not to see themselves through others' eyes. For

example, if they have been blamed for causing their parents' divorce, I try to get them to see that this is untrue. How can a six- or seven-year-old make two grown persons fight so badly and cause them to end their marriage? The reverse is true too. I have met adults carrying the guilt of "forcing" a parent to stay in bad marriages and suffer. They had come to believe their parent's "If not for you, I would have left your father/mother earlier."

Another response is to help them learn to live with it. To consider and focus on the things that they can change and not on those they cannot. To accept that life is far from perfect. The workaholic spouse who hardly acknowledges your existence or the embittered spouse who feels life is unfair are thorns that we may have to learn to accept and live with. I am not suggesting that we do not hope for some change. Rather, we ought not to hold our breath in anticipation of any change happening soon. Also, I am not suggesting living with abusive or cruel behaviour which is destructive to both the victim and the abuser.

The change we can make is how to live life despite these thorns. If we cannot control the weather, we can at least bring an umbrella or plan a wet weather programme. So, if my spouse is not an outdoors person, perhaps I can still organise hikes and go with my children.

If we can take control of our lives, then we are not ruled by our circumstances. And just like splinter bits that mysteriously disappear, we may find that with time, our thorns become less debilitating.

Darius with his wife, Joyce and their children, Faith, aged 6 and Reuel, aged 3

My experiences enabled me to connect with children

During my Junior College years, as part of my CCA, I served in BB at a Primary school together with David. We had Bible study sessions together and it was during this period that I started learning and teaching the Word to young children.

Iaccepted Christ at an altar call during a Christmas programme organised by The Boy’s Brigade (BB) when I was in Secondary 2. The officer-in-charge, David Chan, followed up with me and has been my mentor till today. My family, all non-believers at that time, did not support my decision to accept Christ. They had wanted me to focus on my studies and I was not allowed to go to church on Sundays until I started National Service.

I have been attending Aldersgate Methodist Church for about 24 years and have served in its Children’s Ministry for more than 15 years. My ministry partners and I recognise that we play a role in grounding the children in God's word so that they can weather the storms in their lives. We pray that we can be a good support system to the children. I thank God for the experiences that I had growing up because they have enabled me to connect with children, especially those who feel "controlled" by their parents.

And thanks be to God, my parents who objected to my faith so long ago, have come to know and accept Christ as their personal saviour!

Kopi kakis by Lau Peng Leong, Yen Tun I and Zachary Yong

Darius Tian is the Children's Ministry co-ordinator at Aldersgate Methodist Church. / Photo courtesy of Darius Tian

CONNECT2 MARRIAGE PREPARATION WORKSHOP

21 March, 29 March, 1 April 2023

Hybrid; Online via Zoom and in-person at 9 Bishan Place, #08-03 Junction 8 Office Tower S(579837) https://www.family.org.sg/C2MarriagePrep $380 per couple, conditions apply

Connect2 Marriage Preparation Workshop aims to help couples address challenges as newlyweds and build a solid foundation for their marriage in the early years and learn how to really love each other—for life!

What to expect?

• Understand what love, marriage and your vows symbolise Identify each other's differences and love languages—how to engage in effective communication Manage healthy conflict and have a good grasp on your family finances

• Understand sexual intimacy, the importance of romance and family planning

• Learn how to manage expectations from your spouse, children, in-laws while balancing work-life

Organised by Focus on the Family Singapore

ASCERTAINING THE ATONEMENT: HOW DOES JESUS RECONCILE US TO GOD?

23 March–11 May 2023 (Thursdays), 7.30 to 9.30 p.m.

Online via Zoom

Register by 13 March via https://ttc.edu.sg/english/study-at-ttc/equip-registration/

Registration required; fees may apply

The "atonement" is one of the central beliefs of the Christian faith. It refers to what our Lord Jesus Christ has done, through his life, death and resurrection, to reconcile us sinners to the holy God. But how did these acts of Jesus achieve the atoning effect? We will examine and evaluate the different ways Christian thinkers through the ages have answered this question. We hope, in the end, to gain a richer and more comprehensive understanding of how Jesus saves us—one that will help us in our life and ministry.

Dr Leow Theng Huat is Lecturer in Theology at Trinity Theological College. His research interests include theodicy, Christology, soteriology, post-Enlightenment theology, and dialectics as a theological method. During his student days at the National University of Singapore, he was actively involved in the ministry of the Varsity Christian Fellowship, and has served for a period of time as an associate staff worker of the Fellowship of Evangelical Students. He is married to Cheng Ping, and they have three children. The family are members of Wesley Methodist Church.

Organised by EQUIP

D6 FAMILY CONFERENCE 2023

28–29 July 2023

Wesley Methodist Church Register at https://d6family.sg before 30 June 2023

Register by March 2023 to enjoy the promotional price of $110 per person (fee includes printed conference materials and tea breaks for both days)

Be inspired to sharpen church and home partnership towards generational discipleship with all our heart, soul and strength. Glorify God with a stronger and better-connected family and church!

Organised by Sower Institute™ for Biblical Discipleship