April 2013 Metro Christian Living

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APRIL 2013

Conflict: His and Hers FCA Luncheon Features Tony Dungy A Taste of Spring

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contents APRIL 2013

metro ®

columns 10 The Way I See It

Publisher: MHS Publications, Inc., Member, M.I.P.A.

13 Salt & Light

Editor: Marilyn Tinnin marilyn@metrochristianliving.com

Love Conquers All

FCA Hosts Its 26th Annual Fundraiser Luncheon

14 Outside In

An Everyday Jesus

16 Living My Call Fresh Starts and New Beginnings!

18 Modern Motherhood Tour de Greenwood

20 Welcome Home

Heart of the Home, page 20 Gardens of Madison County, page 21

23 This Is My Story Journey Impossible?

26 Lagniappe

The Emotionally Abusive Relationship

features

28

32 Let’s Talk It Over Healthy Boundaries

Bo Bowen

38 Pastor’s Perspective Holding on to Hope

Making Disciples in the Ukraine

40 Chewed Petunias Wrestling Faith

41 Single Still, Single Again Do You Fear GOD?

42 Education Connection

46

Child Advocacy Center Serves Abused Children

43 The Doctor’s In

Helping People Control Diabetes Gives Meaning to Life’s Work

46 Let’s Get Real

23

Conflict: His and Hers (Part III)

51 Legal Advice

44

Distribution of Retirement Funds After Death

departments 24 Healthy Living Success Story: Kathie Washington

34 Food For Thought A Taste of Spring

43

36 Money Matters

Life Is Not a Dress Rehearsal

44 Sports Victories Coach Melissa Word Mentors on the Court

What’s Coming Next Month?

Wendy Herring’s Heart for Sunnybrook Children’s Home

48 Fresh Finds 52 Rave Reviews

Books, Movies, and Music

53 What’s Going On

Administrative Assistant: Carol Rodgers carol@metrochristianliving.com Associate Editor: Suzanne Tanner Art Direction/Graphic Design Sandra K. Goff Sales Marilyn Tinnin, Kimberly Stephens, Suzanne Tanner Contributing Writers Lydia Bolen, Marshall Bouldin, M.D., Dr. Tate Cockrell, C. Rochelle Culp, Shawn Dean, William B. Howell, Amy Ingram, Abigail Myrick, Nancy New, Robin O’Bryant, Julia Ott, Janie Pillow, Susan E. Richardson, Suzanne B. Russell, Suzanne Stamboulieh, Martin E. Willoughby, Jr., Robert Wilson Cover Photography Stegall Imagery Distribution Assistants Laura Kidder, Randy Fortenberry, Carol Rodgers, Andrea Sabillion, Rachel Schulte, Jerri Strickland, Priscilla Sullivan, Tim Waldon, Bob Whatley

Metro Christian Living 573 Highway 51 North, Suite C Ridgeland, MS 39157 Phone 601-790-9076 • Fax 601-790-9078 www.metrochristianliving.com Metro Christian Living is committed to encouraging individuals in their daily lives by presenting the faith stories of others and by providing information that will point every person, at every stage of life, to a deeper, authentic, personal, and life-changing encounter with Jesus Christ. Views expressed in Metro Christian Living do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. Every effort has been made by the Metro Christian Living staff to insure accuracy of the publication contents. However, we do not guarantee the accuracy of all information nor the absence of errors and omissions; hence, no responsibility can be or is assumed. All Rights Reserved.

Copyright 2012 by Metro Christian Living, Inc. Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of International Bible Society.

Metro Christian Living is published monthly and is available at high traffic locations throughout the metropolitan area. Copies are also available by subscription, $29 for one year. Single issues available for $3 an issue.

POSTMASTER: Send change of address to Metro Christian Living, 573 Highway 51 North, Suite C, Ridgeland, MS 39157.

in every issue

➺

8 53 54 54 6 APRIL 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living

Volume 7, Number 10

Editor’s Letter Event Calendar Quips & Quotes Ad Directory

M I P A Mississippi Independent Publishers' Alliance

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➺editor’s letter Passion and Profession “The thief comes to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).

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Something that ❝ you’re good at and something that is easy—worlds apart.

But the combination of “good at” and “hard work” is amazingly satisfying.

❞

– Nancy Ortberg

remember when I sat on a counselor’s couch years ago and learned a principle that really changed my life. It should not have taken rocket science to help me figure this out,

and it doesn’t say a lot about how smart I am to think I had never figured it out on my own! The principles were termed “life giving” and “life sapping.” Life-giving relationships and life-giving endeavors energize us, inspire us, and refresh us. Life-sapping relationships and endeavors strain us and drain us, and sometimes leave us numb—or worse, paralyzed. Sitting in front of a spreadsheet is, for me, excruciating and life sapping. For someone else, it is better than shopping! You get the picture.

Being created in the image of our Father God means that He stamped us each one with unique temperaments and gifts and that when we offer them back to Him, He can accomplish amazing results through us. And we are more than slightly aware that this very thing He is doing in and through us is the exact personification of abundant life! It’s worth way more than money.

Bo Bowen’s transformation from ambitious businessman to passionate missionary is a prime example.

The same God-given tenacity and drive that made him an exceptional athlete now make him a dynamic evangelist in Ukraine. The trips, described by some who have traveled with him as grueling, may seem demanding at times, but for Bo, he would not choose anything different. It is life giving for him.

Elizabeth Perkins (“Living My Call”) lights up like a Christmas tree when you get her talking about her love for teen girls and that life-giving joy that fills her up when she is encouraging them in their goals, choices, and their relationship with the Lord. She knows she was put on this earth to do exactly that. I have met very few people in my life who consider dealing with teenagers in the “life-giving” category!

I’ve been doing this magazine for 11 years now, and every month when the new issue arrives, I get as excited as I did when I held the premier issue in my hands. Sometimes it is frustrating work, but always—always—it is fulfilling.

The day Elizabeth, her brother Derek, and Phil Reed, CEO of Voice of Calvary Ministries, and I sat down to talk, Phil really got me thinking on this whole abundant life thing. I have to share with you what he said.

In the Garden of Eden—Paradise—Adam and Eve had a relationship with God, a relationship with each other, and work to do tending the garden. As Phil pointed out, work was never a result of the fall.

Work was never meant to be a curse. Meaningful work is part of the abundant life. Christ came to restore what was lost in the fall and a meaningful vocation was part of that restoration.

I see the principle every month and sometimes I find it in the most surprising places. When you find your niche—the one God made for you—there is absolutely nothing on earth that is more life giving.

Happy April. Relish every minute of the landscape that is bursting with life right before our eyes! Y

Marilyn H. Tinnin, Publisher and Editor marilyn@metrochristianliving.com

From Marilyn’s Bookshelf Not a Fan by Kyle Idelman My friend Bill Buckner suggested this book, and I have not been able to put it down. It challenges and convicts and forces you to consider exactly what it means to have a relationship with Jesus.

Is it worth it? You will have to decide for yourself.

8 APRIL 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living

A Third Testament by Malcolm Muggeridge Unleashing the Power of Rubber Bands by Nancy Ortberg This is the first book I have read

by Muggeridge although I have long admired some of his quotes! He takes seven heroes of the faith from Saint Augustine to Dietrich Bonhoeffer and gives us personal profiles that bring them to life and make them real people. Inspiring and thought provoking, and a reminder that God uses flawed vessels to do amazing work.

I am a big Ortberg fan. Love her honesty and vulnerability.

The subject is leadership, and it inspires me because God definitely brings amazing results even with flawed people. I love that God does not create people in a “one size fits all” kind of mode. Ortberg calls it a nonlinear approach. That is too close to math for me to understand, but I do understand her message—and it inspires me.

➺the way i see it

by MARTIN E. WILLOUGHBY, JR.

Love Conquers All ichard Wurmbrand and his wife Sabina have had a big impact on my faith journey.

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While I never knew them or spoke to them (they died in 2001 and 2000 respectively), I am inspired by the story of their lives. Richard was a preacher in Romania during the Communist party takeover of that country in the 1940’s. The new government invited all of the religious leaders in the country to attend a meeting of the new Parliament. As other leaders were compromising their beliefs to avoid conflict with the new government, Richard struggled with what to do. Sabina turned to her husband and suggested that he get up to speak to “wash away the shame from the face of Christ.” Richard reminded her there would be dire consequences if he spoke out. She firmly replied, “I do not wish to have a coward for a husband.” Not only did he speak out, he preached from the podium despite the threats from the government officials.

Unfortunately, Richard’s prediction was accurate. He was later kidnapped and whisked away to prison where he served a total of 14 years during two periods of imprisonment.

Much of his time in prison was in solitary confinement, and he endured merciless torture from his captors. The following words are what stick with me to this day: “And then the miracle happened. When it was at the worst, when we were tortured as never before, we began to love those who tortured us.” He continued, “The more we were mocked and tortured, the more we pitied and loved our

us in our own lives. For me, the vivid example of the Wurmbrands helps me to keep things in perspective and serves as a model for me of how to handle conflict and challenges. If there is someone you are in conflict with, there is no more potent thing you can do than to love and pray for them. As Jesus reminded us, loving people we like is easy; loving people who despise us is the real challenge. It is only the power of Christ in us that can give us the ability to have that kind of love.

One important lesson I learned in life is that I can’t control other people—even my own kids! However, I can control my response to the challenges I face in life. No matter what anyone else says or does, I control and can choose my reaction. Admittedly, the flesh is weak, and we want to react viscerally.

However, I have repeatedly seen the impact of people who are filled with God’s grace and love that choose to react in faith. I hope you are inspired as I am by the Wurmbrands, and I hope that we can all learn to embrace in love those we are in conflict with. I know the world would be a better place. Y

torturers.” After finally being released from prison, Richard and Sabina (who had also served three years of hard labor) left the country and began the international ministry of The Voice of the Martyrs (www.persecution.com), which is dedicated to helping the plight of the persecuted church worldwide.

“If there is someone you are in conflict with, there is no more potent thing you can do than to love and pray for them.”

Much like Paul in his imprisonment, the fragrance of Christ’s love through Richard overcame the stench of prison to change lives of both prisoners and even guards. Richard and Sabina’s lives and the many martyrs around the world who have been willing to suffer for the sake of Christ remind me of Jesus’ words in Matthew 5 when he says, “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.”

While the lives of persecuted Christians may seem like a far and distant idea, I believe there are some very practical implications for

Martin E. Willoughby, Jr,. is Chief Operating Officer of Butler Snow Advisory Services, LLC located in Ridgeland. He and his wife, Nicki, have two children, Ally and Trey, and live in Madison.

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26th ANNUAL

Mississippi Fellowship of Christian Athletes Luncheon Prepared by the Billy Joe Cross Cooking Team

Friday, May 3, 2013 First Baptist Church, Jackson, Mississippi

SPONSOR LEVELS Platinum - $5,000 Donation Gold - $2,500 Donation Silver - $1,500 Donation Bronze - $750 Donation Individual Tickets Available for $150 Donation

BUFFET OPENS: 11:30 a.m.

PROGRAM: 11:30 p.m. – 1:15 p.m.

GUEST SPEAKER

Tony Dungy Former Head Football Coach Indianapolis Colts

12 APRIL 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living

For ticket information call:

601.856.3224 Email: fca_ms@comcast.net

www.fcams.org

salt & light

by MARILYN TINNIN

FCA Hosts Its 26th Annual Fundraiser Luncheon he Mississippi Fellowship of Christian Athletes has been putting on their annual Wild Game Luncheon for 26 years. Their speakers have included such legends as Bobby Bowden, Grant Teaff, Danny Wuerffel, Bill McCartney, Tom Osborne, and Ken Hatfield. Packing out the very large fellowship hall at Jackson’s First Baptist Church is never hard to do since this is one event where the food is way better than the usual banquet fare, and the testimonies from those Tony Dungy impacted by the FCA ministry inspire, encourage, and send you back into the world with renewed hope.

Former Indianapolis Head Football Coach Tony Dungy will be in town on May 3 to give the keynote address. For more information on tickets, check out the FCA website at www.fcams.org.

The FCA ministry was founded in 1954, and is today the largest Christian sports organization in the world. Its core mission challenges coaches and athletes on the professional, college, high school, junior high, and youth levels to use the powerful platform of athletics to impact the world for Jesus Christ. FCA has had an office in Mississippi since the early 1980’s although when Bill Buckner became State Director in 1986, he was a staff of one traveling the entire state. He had a huge vision, a lot of enthusiasm, little money, and he was very good at enlisting an army of volunteers! Today, there are representatives on every college campus and in every one of FCA’s ten geographic school districts. Bill’s staff now numbers 19 full time employees, eight part-time workers, and four volunteers who put in plenty of hours.

Thanks to a very committed board of talented and savvy professionals and businessmen, Mississippi’s FCA ministry has seen the successful implementation of long-term strategic plans that have accomplished far beyond the original vision. There are Bible studies, camps, sports clinics, and weekly huddle meetings where students are discovering what it is to have a true relationship with Jesus Christ. One of the most successful of all FCA’s strategies is the mentoring that takes place between area reps and the local coaches, who in turn mentor the students they work with in the athletic arena. In any given year, there are roughly 15,000 individuals in our state who are touched by the FCA ministry. Although Bill Buckner

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can tell you off the top of his head how many students in a given year have made professions of faith in Christ, he is more likely to point to the numbers who meet Christ at an FCA event and go on to lifelong service in some type of ministry—whether in their churches, community, or within the FCA family.

The Wild Game fundraiser had its beginning in 1987. It was clear that the first thing the new state director had to do was raise money if this fledgling ministry was going to gain any momentum at all. Billy Joe Cross, former director of the Mississippi Game and Fish Commission and a renowned wild game chef, became a close friend of Bill Buckner’s during Bill’s previous career as Director of Development at Hinds Community College. He came to Bill and offered to put on a wild game dinner for 150 people and convinced Bill to sell tickets for $100 a plate.

Young Bill Buckner could not imagine that anyone was going to pay $100 for lunch no matter who cooked or who came to speak! He was wrong. Billy Joe assembled the cooking team and the recipes. Between Bill’s connections and Billy Joe’s, they were able to have all the game donated. Billy Joe and his experienced team cooked all night long-— quite literally—and when the eager ticket holders lined up the next day to eat wild game and hear Coach Bill McCartney speak, Bill Buckner realized that this was going to be a winning idea that could be replicated year after year.

First Presbyterian Church in Jackson hosted the Wild Game Luncheon for a number of years until the crowd maxed out their space, and First Baptist graciously offered their fellowship hall. From that initial crowd of 150, today’s attendance has topped 900. The luncheon this year is expected to draw around 1,300.

Individual tickets are $150, and tables for six can be purchased at different levels for between $750 and $5000. Funds raised go to support FCA’s programs, and you need to visit the FCA.org website and see for yourself how many and how amazing the opportunities are! One of the things that continues to impress this writer year after year are the number of high school students who enter Metro Christian Living’s Christian Leader of the Future Scholarship competition and list FCA as one of the most significant influences in their lives.

If you have never been to a Wild Game event, or if you have never been introduced to the FCA ministry, Friday, May 3 would be the perfect time to change that! Y

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➺outside in

by SHAWN DEAN

An Everyday Jesus

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here seems to be a conspiracy in the marketplace against Christ. Inscribed somewhere in the

fine print of the company policy manual is the notion that it shows poor form to express your love for Jesus while simultaneously doing business. There’s this unspoken belief that increased gross profit dollars and evangelism don’t mix. I won’t necessarily argue against that point.

Don’t get me wrong. There’s a bunch of Jesus-lovin’ businessmen in our community.

We take up the offering on Sunday morning and teach the 9:30 Sunday school class. We share our faith in the safe zone and we pull our badge off before we get to the parking lot.

One sure way to make yourself look foolish is to boldly proclaim the name of Jesus while the scoffers wait to delight themselves in your hypocrisy. Curious eyes watch to see how we participate in the three-day sales conference or the golf tournament or the fishing trip.

“Here”, they say, “Have a beer.”

Better yet, we work for 14 years for a man who does a fine job representing Christ at work and showing us love and relationship that is, until we get a better offer from the competition and become his competitor. Then, generally, we see another side of that righteous man that needs a little attention. Messing with a man’s retirement plan shines a high-beam light on the depth of what you thought was a sincere relationship. What a shame.

Here’s another. It didn’t take long for me to figure out why contractors don’t care to do business with churches. They very well could

be the most difficult group of people on earth to please, and getting paid in a timely fashion is a losing proposition. Here we have a fantastic opportunity to express the love of Jesus to a field of men who desperately need Him and all we seem to do is confirm to them the very reason why they gave up on Him in the first place. Don’t believe me—just ask.

Yet, there’s another splinter I need to pull and then I’ll get off my box. Justified abuse of Christians by Christians that flash the subtitle, “It ain’t personal, it’s just business.” Yeah, since when? Hopefully, you feel my tone and can likely tell that I’m a little sensitive about the subject. I’ve seen too much; I’ve heard too much and I’m constantly discouraged by it.

The business world is an excellent litmus test for a believer. It challenges the belief system at every turn and constantly questions what we worship relative to what we say we worship.

I recently had the privilege of hearing Dutch Sheets preach. As a boy, he witnessed his father minister to people in miraculous ways through healing and deliverance. He was anointed with great faith. As a teenager, he also watched as his father left his family for another woman. Year later, he added, that in the waning years of his father’s life, he watched a man with a romance with Jesus that was simply beautiful. He’d wake every morning at 4 am and spend three to four hours a day loving Him. What does this have to do with faith in the marketplace? Everything. We’re all humans who wake up every morning and get dressed for work. We leave the house and enter into

an arena equipped for battle. Although we battle our competition, what we really battle is ourselves, and it’s ourselves that tends to beat us the most. We throw the idols of greed and pride in the trash can and then we go and dig them out again when our challenges test our righteousness. We fail and we fail again and we’re slow to learn the eternal lesson of why we pursue success to begin with.

You and I, we know better. You and I, we need an example that is not afraid to fail in his attempt to glorify the one worthy to be glorified in every venue, at every moment even at the risk of bankruptcy and reputation.

Assuming that risk defines what faith a man has and to what extreme he’s determined to please Him who loves exceedingly—eternally.

Just as Dutch Sheet’s father returned to Christ with a sincere affection for a romantic encounter with the living God, you and I have that same chance when our season of failure presents itself. It’s never too late to surrender your business, your lusts, or your idols, and trade them for something of worth. He wants it all because He wants all of you. He pursues us passionately for a life of intimacy and at no time or place does he relent in His ambition.

Y

Shawn Dean is Regional Sales Manager for Airflo Sales, Inc., located in Ridgeland, MS. He and his wife, Laura Beth, have three children, Isabelle, Ann Mabry, and Mary Frances. They live in Madison.

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metrochristianliving.com â?˜ APRIL 2013 15

➺living my call

by MARILYN TINNIN

Fresh Starts and New Beginnings!

Elizabeth Perkins has come full circle. Urban ministry is in her genes, and she is returning this summer to a place it pretty much began for her as a little girl – Voice of Calvary, a ministry her father founded, a ministry that nurtured her, a ministry where she later ran the after school program, moved on to other things and finds herself back and eager to get started—all over again!

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era Elizabeth Perkins has been in ministry her entire life. As the youngest child of world-

renowned civil rights activist and authority on Christian community development, Dr. John Perkins, she literally cut her teeth on the concepts of helping and serving and of leaving a place better than she found it. She was only six years old when her mother, who held weekly Good News Bible clubs in their home, led her to Christ. She realized, even then, that God had a plan for her life, and she was always walking through the doors He opened to her.

Elizabeth was 23 and working in one of several ministries her father had founded. She happened to be at Harambee, an amazing inner city ministry north of Pasadena in Southern California in an area where families were dysfunctional and teens had little positive motivation to do better.

Barely older than the girls she was discipling, she lead Bible studies, overnight retreats and arranged countless creative activities, discovering that she was really good at this. The girls in her program were hungry for somebody’s attention and somebody’s leadership. Her motivation became seeing the difference she could make in an individual’s life. Knowing the right Derek Perkins things to do seemed to come naturally for her.

This was the moment when she realized that she was put on this earth to nurture other people’s children. She had a deep capacity to love and a burning, yearning desire to show them that they did indeed have choices beyond repeating the mistakes that stereotype inner city teens. She believed and nurtured in them the same belief that they were smart, capable, and able to do so much more than they dreamed— through Christ who strengthened them.

16 APRIL 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living

When she came back to Jackson in 1997, she spent two years at Voice of Calvary Ministries. Her job was directing an after school program, and again, she found that she knew how to do this.

She left that place she loved to become Executive Director of John Perkins Foundation.

The best part of that position was getting to start another after school program at the Perkins Center. Her great motivation was her desire to somehow duplicate for high risk children something of the meaningful life lessons and values that had made a difference in her own life growing up.

That continues to be the driving force in her life and the defining principle that she is sure God put her here to accomplish.

She started her own ministry to teenage girls in 2009, “Blossom,

Inc.” With the assistance of New Horizon Baptist Church, over the past three years, she has operated a successful summer camp for teenage girls, “She-ciples.” The s-h-e stands for special, honorable, and exceptional, and you might say Elizabeth’s “business plan” looks a lot like the one Jesus had. As she pours herself into facilitating the spiritual growth in the girls, the girls become “lights” in the community and are able to impact other girls. It is about multiplication!

Elizabeth Perkins

Nothing brings Elizabeth more joy than to run into one of her “She-ciples” alumni and hear that she is staying in school and staying on track with the goals she set for herself.

As Elizabeth partners with her brother, Derek Perkins, to organize a new children’s ministry at Voice of Calvary this summer, they bring several decades of experience in outreach ministry to children, youth, and whole families.

They also share a personal history with the neighborhood and a depth of understanding of the challenges today’s urban children face. This will be no job for the faint-hearted! Elizabeth and Derek agree that one way you know you’ve been called to something is that your passion to pursue it is so much greater than your fear of the obstacles.

Derek, who is 54, is a pastor and a father of three. As a “Bible artist,” he teaches Bible stories through illustrations. His heart is for mentoring black boys. He believes that if they can experience a good father—even a substitute good father—then they will have an example to follow and they will become good and responsible fathers. He is committed to being that example telling me that one of the greatest challenges in working with young black men is finding leaders who will stick with them.

Phil Reed, President and CEO of Voice of Calvary Ministries, has been several years

She-ciples

without a children’s program. He says he learned well in his training phase under John Perkins that “If you’re not doing youth development, then you’re not doing community development.” Children are the future of a community.

The Barna Group and George Gallup Research both point to the effectiveness of faith based community programs in producing positive outcomes for children in underserved areas. As Phil points out, “Without some kind of intervention in the lives of so many of these kids, we can pretty much predict where they are going to end up—in prison, in a gang, or they will be victims of a violent crime.”

The importance of youth development being done “right” cannot be overstated. It is not just “day care” or a “baby-sitting service.” The goal of the program is to cast the net wide, to plant seeds in the lives of these children that will provide a permanent foundation for spiritual growth and Biblical values.

Today, Voice of Calvary ministries occupies what remains of the historic Capitol Street United Methodist Church. The gothic twin towers of the old sanctuary are no more, and the surrounding neighborhood where remnants of old Victorian homes, a few abandoned industrial buildings, and vacant lots of piece meal bricks or concrete steps, all give testimony that once upon a time this was a bustling and robust community. That is, until the center of commerce shifted, and families picked up and moved to newer Phil Reed schools and neighborhoods as the capital city sprawled its way north.

On this afternoon in mid-March, the green grass and well-kept lawn around the old church are almost symbolic. There is new energy and fresh hope outside these walls and inside, too. It’s going to be a full circle, new beginning at 531 West Capitol Street this summer!

For information contact Elizabeth Perkins at MzElizperk@gmail.com or Voice of Calvary at 601.969.3088. Applications will be accepted for ages five through senior high school. Resources of any kind are always welcome. Contributions are tax deductible and volunteering your time or your talent will bless you and the lives of others! Y

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metrochristianliving.com ❘ APRIL 2013 17

➺modern motherhood

by ROBIN O’BRYANT

Tour de Greenwood

A

Aubrey and Emma, my seven and five-year-olds, have gotten quite good at riding their bicycles. They hop on their bikes and ride around our yard and make laps up and down the driveway. But after several days of circling the

trampoline, they wanted to branch out and ride their bike to a park less than half a mile from our house. They aren’t big enough to go by themselves so I borrowed my best friend’s bike which has a baby seat attached for Sadie.

I buckled Sadie into her seat and spoke to her sisters, “I’m going to ride on the center line and y’all stay to my right, okay? If you don’t listen and do exactly what I say we will come home. Got it?”

The girls nodded their blond heads and jumped on their bikes. I looked up and down our street and waited until there were no cars in sight to yell, “Go!” We successfully crossed our first street and rode our bikes down a quiet side street headed towards the park. I pedaled slowly to wait for them. Emma wobbled a bit on her bike and looked up at me.

“Don’t look at me Emma! Watch where you are going!” I said as she veered off the road and rode into a ditch and a huge mud puddle.

“I’m okay!” She yelled, dragging her hot pink bicycle out of the ditch and coating her new shoes with mud.

I sighed and waited. We had two more intersections to cross before we got to the park and I was beginning to think this wasn’t the best idea. Emma climbed back on her bike.

“Alright, let’s go!” We had moved approximately 20 feet when I saw a car turn onto the street ahead of us, on the opposite side of the road.

It was still several blocks away but I told the girls, “Stay to my right!” I figured if I kept them pinned between me, riding down the center line, and the side of the road, the worst thing that could happen is that someone would end up in a ditch again. But as I yelled for the girls to stay right, Emma swerved hard to the left, crossing over the center line behind me and yelling, “LIKE THIS MOMMA?” “NO!!! YOUR OTHER RIGHT! EMMA!! GET BACK ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!”

I could feel hairs on my head turning gray and I’m sure I shaved a good three years off my life.

“Get off your bike and come over here!” Emma jumped off her bike and walked back to the right side of the road. The car turned off the street before it even reached us.

0RWKHU·V 'D\ 2XW Tuesdays and Thursdays 9am - 2pm (Early Room Available) Ages 2 months - Pre-K Preschool Ministry First Baptist Church Jackson, Mississippi For rates contact: 601-949-1997 msansing@fbcj.org

18 APRIL 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living

“From now on, just get off your bike and stand on the side of the road if you see a car coming,” I instructed. It should be noted that at this point I could still see our driveway and should have taken the opportunity to turn around and go home, but did I? You know I didn’t.

We pressed forward, Aubrey and Emma hopping off their bikes every time a car was within sight. We crossed a busy intersection successfully and finally, we could see the Promised Land.

I rode down to a low spot where I could ride my bike across the grass and rode as quickly as I could across the small hill. I stopped and turned to make sure Aubrey and Emma were getting out of the road and saw a truck turn onto the street behind them. My bike was now sitting on a small incline and as I turned to yell at the big girls to get off their bikes and walk the rest of the way, the weight of my preschooler on the back of the bike, combined with the bike’s position on the hill, joined forces and the bike began to fall sideways. Because it was so heavy on the back, I couldn’t stop it from falling and it knocked me sideways as it fell. Sadie cried from her seat (which curved around her, thankfully protecting her arms, legs and her head) as I pulled myself out from under the bike and lifted it back up.

Aubrey and Emma rushed to my side to check on Sadie and me, and the truck slowed as it passed the spectacle on the side of the road.

I prayed they wouldn’t stop to check on me—the only thing more humiliating than falling off a parked bike with your baby strapped to it would be acknowledging what just happened with a perfect stranger.

Y

Robin O’Bryant is mother to three daughters, wife to one husband, and debut author of Ketchup Is A Vegetable And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves. She shares the drama and hilarity of motherhood in her syndicated family humor column, “Robin’s Chicks” and on her blog by the same name (www.robinschicks.com).

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➺welcome home

T

here is just something about spring’s arrival that gives us brand new eyes for color and a desire to create something beautiful—whether it’s in the garden or inside the

house. Something drab that did not bother me all winter long suddenly

bothers me a lot, and I can’t wait to freshen up my surroundings.

Just in time, two of the metro area’s spring events arrive and are better than Pinterest for ideas inside and out. Do not miss Jackson Prep’s Heart of the Home or Madison Ridgeland Academy’s Gardens of Madison County.

Easy and enjoyable tours that will jump start your creative gene!

TIMES & TICKET INFORMATION Sponsor Appreciation Gala The Davidson Home April 11 — 6:30 p.m.-9:00 p.m. www.heartofthehomeinfo.com to become a sponsor Kitchen and Home Tour The Barraza Home April 12 — 10:00 a.m.-2:00 p.m. $10 Market Gallery The Barraza Home April 12 — 10:00 a.m.-2:00 p.m.

Featuring Fresh Baked Items from the Jackson Prep Parents Gourmet Food Products for Sale Flower Demos and Book Signing

by Co-Authors and Decorators Catherine Strange and John David Williams Gourmet Cafe The Barraza Home April 12 — 10:00 a.m.-2:00 p.m.

Live Cooking Demonstrations

by Chef Julie Levanway Salad Tasting, French Cheese Tables, Jam Tables & More!

Online Auction Pick Up The Barraza Home April 12 — 10:00 a.m.-2:00 p.m.

Tour Tickets may be purchased online at www.heartofthehomeinfo.com or at the Barraza home the day of the event.

20 APRIL 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living

eart of the Home 2013, an annual community event presented by the Jackson Prep PAT, is scheduled for

H

April 11-12. This year’s event will feature two beautiful homes, both focusing on the heart of every home—the kitchen.

“Each year, the Prep community comes together to make Heart of the Home a success. There is truly something for everyone with an interest in home decor, cooking tips, or beautiful outdoor living areas,” said Cathy May, event chair. “We hope you will make plans to attend!

The two-day event will begin with a Sponsor Gala Celebration on the evening of Thursday, April 11, at the Montrose home of Clay and Steve Davidson. The Davidson Home, with a fabulous country French influence, was designed by Steve Davidson in collaboration with Baton Rouse architect Greg Roberts and decorated by interior designer Angela Doolittle of Madison. The traditional use of stone, plaster, and beams provide a warm texture to the house.

The home’s ridge top location allows for multiple areas to enjoy sunrises and sunsets.

The actual Heart of the Home Tour will be held Friday, April 12, from 10 a.m. until 2 p.m. at the beautiful Northeast Jackson home of Jana and Kenny Barraza. This spacious, bright and cheerful kitchen was designed to be the center of activity for the Barraza family. The outdoor pool and living area is a joint design effort by Bill Heimer, Tim Taylor and Kim

Inzinna and encourages guests to mingle and relax. The home was designed by Glenn Albritton, built in 1980, and recently updated.

The interior design is by Matt Nicholas.

Within the home, the Market Gallery will offer items for purchase, including an array of fresh-baked goods, as well as ongoing live demonstrations by Chef Julie Levanway on gourmet food preparation.

Some of the area’s most collectable artists are featured in the Online Auction. In addition, during March, several of the larger pieces of art will be displayed at Brown’s Fine Art & Framing. The online auction will be live from noon March 25 to 11 p.m., April 11. To bid or for more information, visit www.heartofthehomeinfo.com.

Tour Tickets may be purchased online at www.heartofthehomeinfo.com or at the Barraza home the day of the event. Gala Sponsorships are $250 and can be purchased online until noon April 10.

One half of the proceeds from Heart of the Home go directly to provide additional compensation for Prep’s talented and committed faculty through the teacher endowment fund. Other proceeds are used for academic programs, technology, physical plant improvements, and numerous co-curricular activities at the school. Y For more information about Heart of the Home, visit www.heartofthehomeinfo.com.

Gardens of Madison County MCL: What is the Gardens of Madison County?

Leslie Davis: The Gardens of Madison County, presented by Madison-Ridgeland Academy, is one of the Metro areas most successful springtime events. The tour showcases the beauty of the area's local gardens while providing educational opportunities to learn more about various aspects of gardening.

2013 GMC Co-Chairs: Ashley Venable and Leslie Davis: Seated from left to right, Carly and Ashley Venable, Leslie and Lucy Davis.

Standing from left to right, Caroline and Isabelle Venable, and Ella Wesley Davis

MCL: When will this year’s event be held?

Ashley Venable: This year’s Garden Tour will be held on Saturday, May 4 from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm and Sunday, May 5 from 1:00 pm to 5:00 pm.

Leslie Davis: The event kicks off each year with a Garden Party held on Friday evening.

This year’s party will be held at the beautiful home of Paula and Chris Hughes in Reunion Subdivision. The party is a great way for MRA patrons and friends to socialize with each other and meet some of our Gardens of Madison County sponsors and homeowners.

MCL: What should one expect to see on the tour?

Ashley Venable: This year's tour features eight unique gardens in Madison County. From newer courtyard gardens to expansive, established landscapes, the tour has something to offer every gardener. The tour includes the homes of Dr. and Mrs. Rahul Vohra in Tavern Hill, Dr. and Mrs. Woodie Mason in Wildwood, Janna & Randy McIntosh in Wildwood, Lee & Terry Powell in Ashton Park, O’Hara & Bill Croswell in The Township, Marsha & Danny Russell in Ingleside and Patricia & John Eaves on North Old Canton.

MCL: Will there be presentations on those days as well?

Leslie Davis: The houses will feature tablescapes and landscapes provided by local designers. Our featured presenters this year include: • Author, Katy Houston, will be available to sign her heartwarming cookbook Sweetness Follows.

• Terry Powell, owner of Powell Place Landscape Services will present “An Outdoor Space for All Seasons.”

• Kathy Smith from Jerry’s Flower & Gifts will present “Practical Flower Arranging.”

• A Daisy A Day Flowers will also be sharing tips with tour-goers on arranging flowers.

• Shaun Smith of Shaun Smith Home, located in New Orleans, will show how to create stylish organic and contemporary spaces.

The stunning pool and view of the reservoir at the Vohra home.

• Nellie Neal, known as “The Garden Mama” to her radio audiences will present “Timely Tips.”

• The professional cooking team from Madison Fireplace & Patio will have a grilling demonstration on the Big Green Egg ceramic cooker.

• B.C. Rogers from Persnickety Kitchens will also be on hand to provide a cooking demonstration.

Ashley Venable: Be sure to visit the MRA campus on where you will see The Gardens’ Market & Café. The ever evolving market will feature fresh new items for the garden such as herbs, hanging plants and flowers and an array of outdoor home & garden décor. The Garden Café will offer delicious lunch items that you can take along with you on the tour or you may choose to dine in our outdoor Garden Café.

MCL: Where do the event proceeds go?

Leslie Davis: The proceeds from this event benefit the MRA Development Foundation.

This year's funds will be used toward new buildings and technology upgrades for our school thus further enhancing the educational opportunities for students.

MCL: How much are tickets?

Ashley Venable: Admission is $15.00. Your ticket provides admission to all events. Tickets may be pre-purchased at MRA for $12.00 each or $10.00 each for groups of 10 or more. Y For more information, call 601-856-4455 or visit www.mragardens.com. metrochristianliving.com ❘ APRIL 2013 21

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by ABIGAIL MYRICK

➺

this is my story

Journey Impossible?

W

ithout exception, when we see something laudable in another Believer, something truly selfless, something authentically alive, something that draws us to them even inexplicably, it IS the activeness of Jesus Himself in their life. It is our catching glimpses of the Person of Jesus welling up in them and spilling over—His incorruptible love, His supernatural submission, His concern for the “least of these.” Is not all that is good and right in us to the credit of His very real and holy residence, transforming the old into new, devastating the flesh and divinely sourcing all that we have been called to be? Is it not all from Jesus? And is it not all for Jesus?

Hello, we are the Myricks. We are writing today to share what has come about as a result of Jesus being Jesus in our lives—and in some ways, to give you an opportunity to be involved.

Slowly, over the past several years, we have sensed the Lord calling us toward adoption. He has been transfusing His awareness and concern for the “fatherless” into our entire family! His words about Himself in Psalm 68 declare Him to be in the business of “placing the lonely in families.” What a God. What a blessing it is to hear our children talking to that very God, requesting Him to use our home for one of those “lonely” orphans.

At this point, we believe the Lord has led us to an orphanage in Haiti. Much to our surprise, we are not legally old enough to adopt from their country. Furthermore, our almost eight years of marriage is not enough according to their requirement. And to add hurt to serious injury, the Haitian government prefers you not have biological children, especially not both genders. On all accounts, it is a legal impossibility for us to adopt in Haiti.

Yet here we are knocking at the door, standing next to Him who has a reputation for doing the impossible. Even as I am sitting here typing, there is a whisper that reminds me of the dry ground the Children of Israel crossed on while the Red Sea’s waters were being suspended. Waters suspended! Dry ground!

We must not compromise our vision by wearing earthbound lenses.

It is of no surprise that our great Enemy is relentless in his attacks to derail this adoption.

As in everyone’s life, his attacks reek of untruth, discouragement and thievery! He’s always trying

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to plant seeds of unbelief. He urges us to reason that there is no point in all this because we can’t save them all. “What is one or two orphans going matter,” he snarls. He tries to convince us that there is no way the God of this universe really concerns Himself with all those orphans or that heaven itself doesn’t really celebrate when they get folded into a family. Oh, but isn’t it sweet to know the Shepherd’s voice—to have the Great Helper come along side of us, exposing the Enemy with Truth and faithfully offering all of Himself to help us stay the course!

Please pray for us on this journey! We need His clear guidance in all the details: which gender, the possibility of adopting a sibling group, the opportunity to take a child in need of a minor surgery that we have so readily available stateside, and what to do if the Haitian law doesn’t change, and so on. It is all for Him! May we steward well His calling.

Our way of obtaining the necessary funds for this adoption is through my custom oil paintings.

As I told Marilyn, technically I am an artist, but the blessed truth is that I am a wife and mommy of three that lives in paint clothes at the scarce chance that a few unclaimed moments might present themselves, wherein I sprint into my studio for some right-brained fireworks until the privilege of being needed arises yet again. With a wide variety of style and content, my paintings range from abstracts to Biblical scenes.

Please feel free to call me at 601.951.4490 or browse more pictures of my work by searching “Abigail Myrick” on Facebook. Thank you for taking the time to hear from us! Y

...and they lived happily ever after!

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601.825.5080 PEARL 200 Riverwood Dr., #106

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LIKE us on Facebook metrochristianliving.com ❘ APRIL 2013 23

➺healthy living

by C. ROCHELLE CULP

Success Story: Kathie Washington athie Washington’s family would describe her as an understanding mother, loyal wife, devoted daughter, and supportive sister. Friends would use

K

words like fun loving, spirited, and motivating. When I met her eight years ago, one word came to my mind—determined.

She is a healthy living advocate who practices what she preaches.

On a daily basis, she shares a sermon with others through her deeds. Kathie starts the day while most of us are snug in bed. Her 4:00 a.m. workout is followed by the juggling of work assignments with the frequent trips home during lunch break to take care of her mother and her pets that she cherishes. Then, back to work. On some days, she manages to fit in a workout during supplementary breaks. To make sure she exercises daily, she has fitness equipment set up at her place of employment.

Kathie is also known for preparing healthy meals for her family and stays away from processed and fast foods. She manages to maintain her healthy eating habits by taking her lunch to work and by taking snacks with her while running errands. In addition to her home workout, she motivates others to exercise by forming walking clubs and attending boot camp classes.

Her healthy living habits did not come without some trial and error. She often blamed her weight issues on her family by saying that it was heredity. Her decision to make a lifestyle change came about 10 years ago through a conversation with her husband. Her husband encouraged her by saying, “If you want to get healthy, then get healthy.” At that point, she started to make changes in her life.

Over the years, she made changes in her food choices, her day-to- day schedule, and her hairstyle. Kathie wears an allnatural hairstyle to accommodate her daily workout routine. She deals with stress by staying spiritually connected and asks God to guide her on life’s journey.

Her motto is, “It’s a battle, then again not a battle because I know my limitations.”

I always look forward to our visits because she will have a new healthy snack to sample, or information on the latest fitness gear, or the pros and cons on the hottest fitness gadgets.

Her motivation is being around other healthy living supporters. Kathie also has excellent time management skills, which are shown in her ability to balance work, family, and play. Her goals are to stay healthy and to run a marathon.

Kathie Washington resides in Jackson with her husband, Charles Washington along with their son, Charles II, and daughter, Kalisha.

Y

C. Rochelle Culp is the owner of Ro-onthe-Go Health & Wellness Consultants and on staff at Fitness Lady Health Clubs, Inc. She is a member of the Today Show’s Joy Fit Club and club featured in The Joy Fit Club Cookbook, Diet Plan and Inspiration (published 2012).

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➺lagniappe

by SUZANNE B. RUSSELL, LPC

The Emotionally Abusive Relationship

M

any women assume that if they are not being physically abused by their partners, then they are not being abused. That is not necessarily true. You

may be in a relationship or marriage that is draining something from you.

You might not even realize that your partner has been chipping away— word by word—your self-esteem, your happiness, and your identity.

Abuse is any behavior that is designed to control and dominate another person through the use of fear, humiliation, verbal, or physical assault. Emotional abuse is any abuse that is not physical in nature. It can be anything from verbal abuse to constant criticism to more subtle methods such as intimidation, manipulation, and being impossible to please. Regardless of the tactic, the goal of emotional abuse is to control the other partner.

In the book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans; Ms. Evans describes “two kinds of power: one kills the spirit and one nourishes the spirit.” The first is Power Over. The second is Personal Power. All emotional abusers have a strong desire for Power Over.

Control and dominance give the abuser a sense of power, security, and identity. If you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, your partner

Take a moment to consider these questions.Your partner may have acted as though these things were okay, but they are NOT OKAY! ◆ Does your partner frequently criticize you, humiliate you, or undermine your self-esteem? ◆ Does your partner isolate you from friends, family, or groups? ◆ Does your partner limit access to work, money, or material resources? ◆ Does your partner spend money extravagantly and expect you to handle the bills? ◆ Do you feel like you can’t discuss with your partner what is bothering you? ◆ Are you afraid of your partner at times?

If you answered YES to many of these, you may be experiencing either blatant or subtle abuse or a combination of both.

Subtle abuse includes:

Emotional abuse cuts to the very core of a person, creating scars that may be far deeper and longer lasting than physical ones.

◆ Frequent criticisms of your appearance, what you say, how you say it, how you do things ◆ Jokes that diminish you, comments that are extremely sarcastic, inferences that are derogatory, or frequent put downs ◆ Ignoring you for hours or refusing to answer questions that you ask ◆ Refusing to discuss any feelings; except anger ◆ Using the silent treatment if one does not get their way or is inconvenienced (this can last for days, even weeks)

does not see you as an equal because to do so, he would experience your equality as his own inferiority. He would have to ask for what he wanted and be open to rejection. In order for these things to happen, he would have to give up control and dominance. Women, as well as men, can be the emotional abuser.

Emotional abuse is a form of brainwashing that gradually, but systematically wears away the victim’s self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in her own perceptions, and self-concept. Whether it is done by constant criticism, belittling, intimidation, or under the guise of “teaching” or “guiding”, the results are all the same. Eventually, the victim loses all sense of self; he/she becomes enmeshed in a very unhealthy, codependent relationship. Her/his total focus becomes what can I say or do to avoid his/her anger, the silent treatment, or rage. Soon, he/she is walking on eggshells trying to keep the peace. But that walk comes at a very steep price—constant worry, anxiety, depression, fear, and loss of joy and spontaneity. Many victims experience physical problems related to chronic stress such as rheumatoid arthritis, frequent migraines, irritable bowel syndrome, and binge eating. Emotional abuse cuts to the very core of a person, creating scars that may be far deeper and longer lasting than physical ones.

26 APRIL 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living

◆ Showing no excitement or interest when you have good news such as a salary raise, promotion; says,“that’s nice” in a flat tone and abruptly changes the subject ◆ Makes condescending remarks about your opinions, beliefs, choices, decisions, goals, dreams, or accomplishments

Blatant abuse includes: ◆ Loud, angry rages over the most insignificant thing: you forgot to go to the cleaners, the way you are slicing a potato, the kids are having an argument ◆ Cursing, screaming, throwing things ◆ Not letting you leave the room while he rants for hours ◆ Harassment if you go anywhere other than work without them; calling every 15 minutes with “where are you, what are you doing, when will you be home?” ◆ Controlling all the money, credit cards, checking account, and refusing to include you in any financial decisions ◆ Threatening to harm you, your family, or your pets ◆ Blaming you for everything—mood, drinking, never saying I’m sorry, or taking any ownership of any mistakes.

Robin O’Bryant is mother to three daughters, wife to one husband, and debut author of Ketchup Is A Vegetable And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves. She shares the drama and hilarity of motherhood in her syndicated family humor column, “Robin’s Chicks” and on her blog by the same name (www.robinschicks.com).

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I called a former client (who is now enjoying a very healthy and fulfilling life) and asked her to share some of her experiences in our work together. This was our conversation: Suzanne: What prompted you to seek the help of a therapist?

Client: My husband asked for a divorce; I wanted marital counseling, but he refused, so I wanted help for myself.

Suzanne: Did you know that you were in an emotionally abusive marriage before you came to therapy?

Client: No, I was in complete denial. I was able to rationalize everything so that I did not have to face the truth.

Suzanne: Had you read much about rebuilding marriages before therapy?

Client: Yes, I had read books on co-dependency, books on boundaries, and books on Christian marriages.

Suzanne: At what point did you realize you were in an emotionally abusive marriage?

Client: When you asked me to read The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. I realized that my husband had always been emotionally abusive throughout our marriage.

Suzanne: What happened over time in our work together?

Client: You kept redirecting me away from trying to figure out what he was thinking or feeling, analyzing his every word and act by forcing me to bring my focus back to me. You would ask me “how did that (some abusive behavior of the husband) make you feel? Eventually, I began to screen his words and actions towards me—was what he just said healthy or not healthy? How did what he said make me feel? I continued to read everything I could find on emotional abuse, took an assertiveness class online, and we worked on assertiveness in therapy. I kept coming to therapy twice a month, until I was no longer a victim. I became a survivor and now I am a “thriver.” Yes, I am truly blessed to be able to enjoy my life, my friends, and my family with no more emotional abuse!

This client eventually divorced her husband, because he had no interest in changing and would not admit he was doing anything wrong.

However, I have had other clients who have worked through their problems in their marriage by learning how to respond to emotional abuse assertively, how to stop rewarding hurtful behavior, and how to regain their strength and self-esteem by demanding respect.

I always remind clients of Christ’s answer when asked by the Pharisees, “What is the greatest commandment?” The answer was “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor AS THYSELF,” (Matthew 22:37-39). Far too many people have overlooked those last two words. If we have been commanded to love ourselves, then it would seem that He never intended that marriage or a relationship be a place of abuse—physical or emotional. If you are experiencing emotional abuse, follow His commandment and learn to love and respect yourself with the help of an experienced therapist. You are worth being treated well!

Are YOU in an Emotionally Abusive relationship? Visit www.srusselltherapy.com for more details of a new group that begins on June 3, 2013. Y

metrochristianliving.com ❘ APRIL 2013 27

Three Ways To Be A Part of Evangelism School for Leaders! ✓ Pray ✓ Go ✓ Give CONTACT BoBowen1John44@yahoo.com or text 601.209.2678

28 APRIL 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living

In 1965, when Bo Bowen began his senior year at Murrah High School, the Murrah Mustang’s Football Facts, revealed the following about John H. Bowen, III:“he could very easily be the best high school fullback in Mississippi—fine blocker—excellent speed—good balance—has it all to be one of the best ever.” He did indeed seem destined for football fame far beyond the Big Eight Conference.

As an Ole Miss sophomore in 1967, in his first college contest, he returned the opening kickoff for an 89-yard touchdown in the season opener against Memphis. That scamper down the field was just a preview of what the fans came to expect from Bo over the next three seasons.

Hap Farber, who has considered Bo Bowen his best friend since seventh grade, credits Bo with encouraging him to try out for football in tenth grade. He had never played any sport until that time, but found himself playing Defensive End and blocking for Bo through three seasons at Murrah and again at Ole Miss from 1967 through the Sugar Bowl victory against Arkansas in 1970. Hap smiles as he describes a “swish” that was pure music to the ears when Bo would come streaking past his right backside like a flash of light “heading for the promised land.”

Bo’s friends and his family agree that he has always possessed superhuman focus and dogged determination at whatever he set his mind to do. The fact that he is successful is hardly a surprise, but if anyone had looked into the future’s crystal ball forty or fifty years ago and predicted that Bo Bowen would be a Bible preaching, teaching, evangelizing missionary to Ukraine, that he would spend 26 weeks of every year there training leaders and that the

Bo and Marty have made a great team for 43 years.

Marty and Bo married on June 14, 1970.

Evangelism School for Leaders he devised and conducts would see their efforts reap a bounty of souls that number in the tens of thousands—well—it just did not seem a likely career path at all.

But when you add the God factor to the equation, you never know what the end result is going to be. As local architect and longtime friend, Doug Dale, who has made two trips to Ukraine, says, “Bo is pretty much like a modern day Paul.” That is really not meant to be heresy, and it is certainly no exaggeration.

Calling Bo, like most good Southern boys, had been in church his whole life. He just did not know there was a great deal more available in a personal relationship with Christ. He was living in the athletic dorm at Ole Miss when a Campus Crusade rep, Mike McNames, knocked on his door one night. One of Bo’s former Murrah teammates had recently come to Christ,

Taylor, Mimi, Belle, and Maggie Bowen are avid fans of their father.

and he asked Mike to go by and see Bo. Mike was used to all sorts of receptions from college kids—some who were eager to talk to him and some who were not at all interested. Easygoing and polite, Bo listened intently to Mike’s presentation of the gospel, and when he asked Bo if he would like to pray to receive Christ, Bo said he would like to although he did not choose to pray aloud at the time.

There were no lightning bolts, but Bo did acknowledge to God that he was a sinner, that he knew Christ was the only salvation for his sins, and he invited Christ to live in his heart.

Mike continued to meet with Bo and to encourage him on his new journey, but there were still a number of years before Bo’s dramatic “Saul-on-the-road-to Damascus” kind of experience took him in a 180-degree change of direction career path.

When college ended and a knee injury ruled out any future in professional ball, Bo, with wife Marty and two young daughters settled in

Marty and Bo put a lot of time and love into these seven grandchildren! metrochristianliving.com ❘ APRIL 2013 29

Jackson. Bo went into the life and health insurance business, and he was really quite good at it. That same tenacity and drive that had characterized his athletic career were now channeled into his work.

It seems that God has placed strategic friendships in Bo’s life at different stages of his journey. There were times when something that did not seem to be a major turning point on the front end turned out to be quite definitive.

Evangelism Explosion was one of those things.

He was in a deer stand on an island in the Mississippi River in 1977 when a friend and Evangelism Explosion (EE) leader Mark Roessler of Clarksdale, began a conversation about his relationship with Christ. This was the moment it all fell into place for Bo. Everything he had learned in the previous decade about faith in Christ was now personal and primary and the foundation for everything else.

The Bowens’ were already members of First Presbyterian Church, and Evangelism Explosion was an important part of their missions outreach. Bo joined a team. EE trains people how to share their faith in Christ and how to lead others from unbelief to belief. A huge part of the program is on-the-job training of new leaders who go out in teams with experienced leaders. Trainees become leaders and thus, the principle of spiritual multiplication.

Bo saw the effectiveness of the approach and made some close friends in the process. Area churches were just beginning to take mission trips to faraway places, but Bo balked at the idea of joining with any one of several groups who invited him.

For one thing, a mission trip meant time away from work. He did not think he could afford the resulting loss of income. If he didn’t work, he didn’t make money. The second thing was that he doubted the long-term effect a one-week mission trip could really have in the lives of those who were served. If God wanted Bo Bowen to take a mission trip, he was going to have to make it crystal clear.

And He did.

A Reluctant Missionary Bo drove to the Delta to visit a potential life insurance client one day, feeling fairly certain this was going to be a sure and successful sale.

When he arrived at the restaurant to meet his client, Bo’s presentation was interrupted by a third person that mentioned that he had been on a mission trip to Honduras. The potential client lost all interest in life insurance as the enthusiastic friend monopolized the remainder of the conversation. “He was far more interested in hearing about Honduras than in listening to me!”

30 APRIL 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living

Just run into Bo and this pin is a conversation starter.

Bo carries these pictures with him every day and looks for opportunities to pull them out of his pocket and tell any and every one about his amazing believer friends in the Ukraine. (Front center 3rd from right is Hap Farber).

When Bo got back to Jackson that evening and began to lament to Marty about the sale that wasn’t, she did not offer the sympathy he was seeking. Instead she suggested he sign up for a mission trip to Honduras and take their oldest daughter, who at that time was floundering her way through college. Marty thought the mission trip was a perfect way to help Taylor find her priorities and distract her from a few questionable choices she had made recently.

Bo’s answer was that he would do that only if Taylor wanted to. Certain that she would have no desire whatsoever to go to Honduras with her father, he dialed her number right then and asked her. To Bo’s surprise, she said, “Yes, I would really like that,” and suddenly there was no turning back.

“That trip really broke the ice for me,” says Bo. The Honduras mission team they joined was the very one he had sat through that lunch hearing about. Dr. Walter Rose of Indianola had been taking groups to Honduras for several years. Bo was not prepared for the wellorganized group of Christians who were clearly making a difference in the lives of the Honduran people, and just as that zealous participant had shared in the interrupted lunch, Bo understood firsthand the greater blessings belonged to those who served. It was indeed an eye opening experience.

Evangelism Explosion continued to be a priority in Bo’s life. The ministry at First Presbyterian was flourishing, and several of the active team members were beginning to go far beyond the metro area putting together teams that traveled outside of the United States. But

Bo declined several invitations. Despite the impact of the Honduran trip, he could always find good reason not to go again. What would he do about his business? That was first and foremost on his mind.

When fellow EE team members David and Corrine Bradford decided to make a trip to Ukraine in 1992 after the communist regime had fallen, they approached Bo about coming with them.

“I did not want to go,” says Bo, “but David had discipled me years before, and I felt like I owed it to him to at least pray.” The pressure at that point came from God, and Bo made his first trip to Ukraine in 1992.

That first trip lasted two weeks. Bo, with his unique drive for pursuing any goal with 100% of his heart and soul, discovered a deep connection with the Ukrainian people. They had endured so much in those years from 1922-1991 when the doors were closed to the practice of Christian faith. Their openness and their hunger for the gospel moved him, and he had a great God-given desire to return, on his own again and again.

There was a battle going on much of the time in Bo’s mind. He had a heart for reaching the Ukrainian people, and God had provided an open door and much blessing on his efforts. But he also had a family to support and a business to run. There was just no way he could devote the kind of time this evolving ministry would require. Still, there was something inside his heart that would not be quiet.

The Breakthrough The year was 1993. Bo had made several short trips to Ukraine, using the EE materials, sharing the gospel, building relationships in the churches, and becoming more and more passionate for the souls of those who had yet to hear of Jesus.

It was the movie, Schindler’s List that mowed down every excuse Bo had ever erected as to why he could not spend more time taking the good news to Ukraine. The story of the WWII German industrialist who gave his entire fortune to buy the lives of 1200 Jewish prisoners bound for Nazi death camps, turned Bo’s heart inside out. There is a scene in the movie as Schindler pleads with the Nazi Commandant who holds the fate of the Jews in his hands.

When the commandant asked, “How much is a life worth to you” the question gripped Bo and continued to ring in his mind even after the movie ended.

“I realized I was worried about the money I would miss out on, but I kept asking that question of myself—is it worth another $3,000 to have 500 more people come to know Christ? So, I went from two weeks in Ukraine in 1992 to 22 by 1998.” He chose his treasure—and it wasn’t about his income.

Today, with Marty’s blessing, Bo spends 26 weeks of each year in Ukraine. He laughs when he tells me, “I want her blessing on whatever I do, and I don’t want to be there even one day longer than she blesses.”

Marty has never been to Ukraine, but she is completely supportive of the ministry and incredibly proud of her husband.

She lightheartedly says she is certain God has, at least to this point, not called her to the Ukraine.

She considers herself very much a “behind the scenes” kind of person. Her great contribution is to keep Bo’s work and family humming in his absence. With four daughters and seven grandchildren out of state, she manages to visit them all and to be involved in her grandchildren’s lives. Her mother and motherin-law live close by, and both enjoy a generous amount of Marty’s company.

Materials Now that he was spending so much time in Ukraine, conducting numerous leadership training schools and sending out teams who spoke to almost 1,000 people a week, the need for materials—lots of materials—was endless.

The fact that whatever materials Bo used had to be written in the Ukrainian language certainly made the challenge even bigger.

His ministry is structured, too, so that there are follow-up teams who are constantly keeping up with the new Christians as well as encouraging the church leadership.

Bo was constantly furthering his own skills by taking courses at Reformed Theological Seminary. He had also built a relationship with leaders at the Presbyterian Seminary in Ukraine

and the CEO of Mission to the World. The consensus seemed to be that he should develop his own literature to use with the leadership schools he was conducting.

When he was assigned a major project as his semester grade in one of his classes, he asked his professor, Dr. Paul Long, if he might create his own manual that could be used by his Evangelism School for Leaders in Ukraine.

With Bo’s personal revisions and fresh ideas, and with the Evangelism Explosion literature as a basic guide, Bo was able to produce his own materials for the Ukraine’s Evangelism School for Leaders.

A Fellowship of Faithful Support Over the years, Bo has enticed many a Mississippi friend to join him in Ukraine for weeks at a time. Even with more than twenty years under his belt, Bo speaks about his trips, the Ukrainian people, and the multitudes of new converts with such enthusiasm it is as if this were all brand new to him.

You won’t ever run into Bo that his shirt pocket is not packed full of photographs of his latest Evangelism School graduates, and he always has time to tell you exactly how many people they talked to in a week, how many were willing to hear the entire gospel presentation, and how many prayed to receive Christ. We always hear that it’s not about numbers, and Bo knows that. But without tracking the numbers, how does he know that he and his teams are effective?

Thousands pray to receive Christ during those 26 weeks, and thousands more, through the continuing work of those trained in Bo’s leadership schools, receive Christ during the other 26 weeks of the year!

Homer Lee Howie, who was among the EE pioneers at First Presbyterian Church back in the late 1970s, has accompanied Bo 16 times.

Like Bo, Homer Lee has a great heart and a natural gift for sharing the gospel. It was only two years ago that he, at the tender age of 87, decided he would not be going back, but that he would continue to be involved by encouraging others and supporting the ministry with his monetary gifts.

The trip is physically grueling—even by the standards of Bo’s young sons-in-law, Darby Ricketts and Chip Crush, who have both made trips with him. A typical day begins about 6 a.m. Accommodations are typically austere as church members in the different villages house the team. Sometimes the bed may be a cot in a corner of the dining room; sometimes there are five or six flights of stairs to climb; there is seldom much hot water; and bathrooms may or may not be indoors.

The Ukrainian pastors and church member trainees meet with Bo and whoever is with him at the local church after breakfast. The five-day, all-day-long schools, though intense, involve a daily process of prayer, worship, song, praise, testimony, teaching, lecture, demonstration, recitation, on-the job training (OJT), and report-back sessions.

In the OJT, the teams, along with an interpreter, go into hospitals, apartment buildings, and the streets—everywhere— stopping people and engaging in conversation asking for enough time to give their gospel presentation. Little by little, the trainees participate in parts of the presentation until they eventually are proficient in doing the entire presentation by their selves.

The teams continue to work into the evening, finally meeting back at the church to report on their number of contacts, presentations, and decisions. A regular day ends at midnight, and begins all over again at 6 a.m.!

Hap Farber has made two trips to Ukraine, and, despite the pace and the rigorous physical demands, he is preparing to go a third time. To Hap, as to Bo, there is tremendous joy and a supernatural energy that comes with playing even a small part in so great an outreach.

Hap describes an almost palpable love the Ukrainians have for Bo, who brings the good news of Christ to them. The Living Hope, the Light of the World, the Good News—we so often take for granted, but when you’ve lived without hearing such words for generations as these gentle people did during communist rule, is there any wonder the Ukrainian people welcome Bo and his friends with wide open hearts, wide open arms, and wide grins that reflect a deep affection.

As they say in the Ukraine, “Slava Bogu!”

(Praise God!) Y

metrochristianliving.com ❘ APRIL 2013 31

➺let’s talk it over

by SUZANNE STAMBOULIEH, M.S.

Healthy Boundaries hether you’ve been married a few months or a few decades, you’ve probably realized that marriage is hard work. Maintaining a deep connection

W

for a lifetime does not just happen by chance; you must be intentional in all that you do in order for your marriage to grow.

In today’s fast-paced life, you may find yourself overwhelmed when trying to balance family, work, friendships, church, and extracurricular activities (both yours and your children's). You may feel as though you are constantly doing and living for others with no time left over for your spouse or yourself.

Does this sound familiar? Are certain areas of your life taking a priority over your spouse? If so, you may need to set some boundaries in your marriage.

What exactly do these boundaries look like?

Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, authors of Boundaries in Marriage, define a boundary as something that indicates where you end and someone else begins, physically and emotionally. Boundaries help identify what you are and are not responsible for. It’s important to note that establishing boundaries in your marriage is not about limiting you or your spouse; it is about doing what is best for your marriage.

Boundaries are necessary, especially in marriages, to protect the sacred union from what Cloud and Townsend call “intruders.”

What, then, are intruders? The word sounds scary, but an intruder can be anything that takes time away from cultivating your relationship with your spouse. Keep in mind that something may be an intruder for one couple and not for another. Some examples of intruders include hobbies, the Internet, work, in-laws, and friends, just to name a few. Of course, these listed intruders are not bad in and of themselves, but if they negatively affect your marriage, are they not worth examining? For example, do you repeatedly acquiesce to your extended families’ wishes, despite what you and your spouse want, simply to avoid hurting their feelings? Certainly there are times for this, but do you live your life this way? Take a moment and think about things in your life that could be classified as intruders. What if you were able to 32 APRIL 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living

moderate those intruders? Could you use your newly freed-up time to cultivate your relationship with your spouse?

When intruders affect your level of closeness with your spouse, then a boundary must be set.

All situations are unique, so there may be times in which eliminating the intruder altogether is necessary. However, in most cases, the intruder is actually something that is good but has gotten out of control. After all, balance is key! For example, if you recognize excessive texting as an intruder, try to designate a time, such as dinnertime, where you put your phone on silent in order to better connect with your spouse free from distractions.

When you and your spouse are setting boundaries, act as a team, unified in all that you do. It is helpful to use “we” statements when setting boundaries. For instance, if social invitations become an intruder, instead of saying, “I really want to come, but my spouse does not,” you might reply with, “We appreciate the invite, but we would like to stay home so we can have some family time.” Using “we” statements instead of “I” statements may not seem like a big deal, but even this small step demonstrates that you and your spouse are unified in your decisions.

At first, setting boundaries and limiting intruders may not be easy to explain to your friends or family; you may experience some pushback from those closest to you. But, it will get easier, and in time you will see that the boundaries you have set will bring you and your spouse closer together. Also remember that you can’t control what others think about your boundaries, so try not to dwell on it—if others don’t agree with your boundaries, it’s okay.

Even with boundaries in place, you can’t completely eliminate conflict in your marriage.

Nothing can do that! But setting healthy boundaries and making your relationship a priority will create a solid foundation on which your marriage can thrive. Y Suzanne is a therapist for Summit Counseling. Suzanne currently resides in Madison with her husband Stephen and daughter Scarlett. She can be contacted at sstamboulieh@fbcj.org

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➺food for thought

by LYDIA BOLEN

A Taste of Spring

S

pring is finally arriving! Fresh produce is one delicious benefit of this season of rebirth. I find myself anticipating my weekly trips to the farmer’s

market to see what I can find that is freshest. Highlight these bountiful seasonal fruits and vegetables in simple weeknight meals.

A stir-fry is a great way to incorporate more vegetables and less meat into your family’s diet.

Colorful vegetables with good texture can present a low-fat meal with lots of flavor.

Strawberries and fresh artichokes are my all time favorites. Try my fun recipes for something different and palate pleasing.

ARTICHOKES AND VINAIGRETTE 4

fresh artichokes

Wash artichokes under cold, running water. Cut off bottom of each one flush with its base. Cut off about 1/2 inch of the pointed top of the artichoke. Trim tips of leaves with scissors to remove any thorns.

Dip each artichoke in lemon juice to preserve its color.

CHICKEN AND VEGETABLE STIR-FRY STRAWBERRY SHERBET 2 tablespoons sesame seeds 3 tablespoons olive oil 2 boneless, skinless, chicken breasts cut into bite size pieces 1 bunch asparagus, cut into 1-inch segments 3 green onions, sliced 2 carrots, sliced into small strips 2 cloves garlic, chopped 1 can water chestnuts, sliced 1 small package peas pods 1/2 teaspoon powdered ginger 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes 3 tablespoons teriyaki sauce Preheat wok to medium high.

Add sesame seeds to dry pan. Stir frequently, until lightly toasted.

Add 3 tablespoons olive oil.

Add chicken. Cook until chicken is no longer pink, stirring often.

Add asparagus, carrots, green onions and garlic.

Stir until vegetables are tender.

Add pea pods and sliced water chestnuts and stir to heat through.

Add ginger, red pepper flakes, and teriyaki sauce.

Season with salt and pepper.

Serve over hot, cooked rice.

Makes 4 servings 34 APRIL 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living

2 cups fresh strawberries, chopped 1/2 cup sugar (more if you prefer a sweeter result) 2 1/2 cups low-fat buttermilk 1/2 cup half-and-half 2 teaspoons lemon juice 1 teaspoon vanilla extract Pinch of salt Combine 1 cup strawberries and sugar in a small bowl and let sit, stirring occasionally until the sugar has begun to dissolve, about 10 minutes. Transfer the berry mixture to a food processor or blender and process until smooth.

Meanwhile, combine buttermilk, half-andhalf, lemon juice, vanilla, and salt in a medium bowl. Press the strawberry mixture through a fine-mesh sieve into the bowl. Stir, cover and chill for 2 hours.

Lastly, remove mixture from refrigerator, and whisk. Pour mixture into the canister of an ice-cream maker. Freeze according to manufacturer’s directions. During the last 5 minutes of freezing, add the remaining 1-cup of chopped berries.

Place in freezer to firm up. If it gets too hard, soften in the refrigerator for about 30 minutes before scooping.

Yields 8 servings

COOKING METHOD Stand prepared artichokes in a deep stainless steel pot with about 4 inches of boiling water. Add lemon juice to the cooking water. Cover lightly with a lid and gently boil for 25 to 40 minutes, depending on the size of the artichokes.

When cooked, remove from pot and stand artichokes upside down on a rack to drain. Carefully pull out the hairy choke in the center of each artichoke.

VINAIGRETTE 1 2 1 1/2 1/2

egg yolk tablespoons lemon juice tablespoon Dijon Mustard teaspoon salt teaspoon freshly cracked white pepper 3/4 cup vegetable oil (or a mixture of olive oil and vegetable oil) Combine the egg yolk, salt, pepper, lemon juice, and mustard.

Whip together with a whisk for about one minute. Add the oil very slowly, beating constantly with the wire whisk.

Enjoy dipping the artichoke leaves in the vinaigrette sauce!

Yield: About one cup. Y

Remember to make memories through the kitchen— “the heartbeat of the home.”

E-mail me at lbbolen@gmail.com for any questions.

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Blooming this Spring!

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➺money matters

by JULIA OTT

Life Is Not a Dress Rehearsal opefully most of us take these words to heart and truly seize each day. My family just returned from a wonderful ski trip with friends where fun was had by all. With teenagers and youngsters on the slopes, parents

H

were naturally concerned for their safety. However, watching my own children expend their boundless energy each day in God’s winter wonderland reminded me of the adage, carpe diem. As adults, we should follow their lead in our own routine lives and not just on special occasions.

We can take this spring break spirit and apply it to the financial portion of our lives as well. Saving and planning for the future are prudent choices, and ones that mirror biblical teaching. For example, Joseph stored grain before Egypt experienced famine. Similar to this would be a Realtor saving during the good selling months, to benefit in the slower times. Another prime example is saving toward retirement.

Most will agree that depending on the government for our total retirement needs is unrealistic. With the expectation of Social Security surviving intact for our own generation being low, individuals are charged now more than ever with taking control of their own retirement planning.

With the expectation of Social Security surviving intact for our own generation being low, individuals are charged now more than ever with taking control of their own retirement planning.

There are two primary avenues for retirement saving. The most efficient method is utilizing an employer-sponsored retirement plan.

Most employer-sponsored plans fall under the qualified status, or pretax category. This allows for taxes on the contributions to be deferred, most often to the time of distribution. Alternatively, some employer plans offer an after-tax, or Roth, savings opportunity. In this plan, distributions are generally tax-free.

Examples of company-sponsored plans are 401(k), 403(b), 457(f), SIMPLE 401K and IRAs, SEP, Profit Sharing, Pension, plus several others. It is easy to get lost and confused by IRS terminology and acronyms, but the key takeaway point is to become familiar with your own employer’s plan design and opportunities for savings. Suffice it to say there are different characteristics within each plan.

Rules and governmental guidelines can be overwhelming, and they 36 APRIL 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living

are constantly being revised, as administrations and tax laws change.

To help cut through that barrier, employers are required to provide information to all eligible participants regarding plan design and structure, related investments, expense information, and certain planning tools for analysis, so that individuals can make informed decisions to maximize their retirement savings potential. This is the best place to get started if you are unfamiliar with what is available within your corporate retirement plan, or if you simply need a refresher.

Employee contributions are generally made in the form of payroll deductions and processed in the respective payroll cycle. Payroll deductions provide the ideal scenario in a long-term investment strategy, as they allow for investing at regular intervals in the markets.

This process is referred to as dollar cost averaging, and is a proven, effective way to invest for the long term.

In addition to personal contributions, some employers provide a company contribution in the form of a match, direct dollar or percentage contribution. The match requires the employee to contribute part of their own pay in order to receive the company’s portion. The government sets the annual limits each year on how much individuals and companies can contribute within a qualified plan. Knowing the limits, individuals can map out a plan to maximize either the total amount allowed by law if they are in a position to do so, or create a strategy to save as much as their individual household budget will allow. Any contribution is helpful, especially given the long-term investment window for most retirement accounts.

Another retirement savings vehicle, and the second option to most people, is the Individual Retirement Account (IRA). As with corporate plans, the annual contribution limit for IRAs is defined by the government and is not as high as with corporate plans, but they still provide a good outlet for contributing either pre-tax or after-tax dollars toward retirement. Automatic contributions can be established to take advantage of the aforementioned dollar cost averaging.

Whether you are beginning your financial journey, or well along your way, take a moment to review your situation and take advantage of the opportunities available to you. Y Julia Ott is the Director of Client Services with Mississippi Investment Management Company, LLC. She can be reached at julia@mymimco.com.

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➺pastor’s perspective

by TATE COCKRELL, PHD

Holding on to Hope “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. . . For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience,” (Romans 8:18, 24-25). gunman at an elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut, tragically killed 20 children and six adults before taking his own life.

Hurricane Sandy was the second costliest hurricane in United States history, inflicting more than 71 billion dollars of damage upon the East Coast.

During a midnight screening of “The Dark Knight Rises,” 12 people were killed in a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado. These are just a few of the events that scarred the United States in the last year.

During moments like these, it is easy to question God’s motives, sovereignty, and role in the world. Hope can sometimes seem lost, and it is easy to become pessimistic or even cynical about our future. How do we live in

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When bad things happen around us, we become unsettled as we realize that in fact, we are not in control. the world, with all of its pain, heartache, and suffering and still maintain hope? How do we exercise patience, placing our hope in a God we cannot see and a plan we might not understand?

Here are four things to remember in holding on to hope in difficult times.

First, remember who is in control. We often lose hope when we buy in to the delusion that we are in control. When bad things happen around us, we become unsettled as we realize that in fact, we are not in control. The fact remains that we were never in control to begin with. Proverbs 19:21 reveals, “Many are the plans in the mind of a 38 APRIL 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living

man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.” Our hope is bolstered when we correctly understand that God is in control and never ceases to be.

Second, remember that God’s purpose always prevails. Everything that happens is not pleasing to God. Evil, sin, suffering, and pain are not things that God enjoys. But, they are things that exist within the framework of allowing humanity to have free will. Man’s free choice often results in hurting others. Thankfully, God never forgets his purposes, thus he utilizes even the painful consequences of sin to accomplish His purpose in the world. Romans 8:28 assures us, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” Our hope is sure when we realize that even when pain occurs in our life from our own bad decisions, God’s plan is still secure.

Third, remember God’s faithfulness. Throughout our lifetime, we will have numerous occasions to question God’s will, faithfulness, and plan in the world.

Following each of these occasions, we often look back and clearly see the hand of God at work in our lives and the lives of those around us. We see His goodness and graciousness in our lives and even comfort others with the testimony of God’s deliverance through those times. 2 Corinthians 1:4 says that our God is one “who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” Our hope is made strong and sure when we reflect back upon God’s prior work in our lives, and when we take the time to share his faithfulness with others.

Fourth, remember that this world is temporal. It is easy to forget that we live in a broken and fallen world that will one day pass away. Sometimes our hope is shaken

because we have placed too much emphasis on this world and too little emphasis on the world to come. Psalm 39:4 reminds us, “O Lord, make me know my end_and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am!” Our days on this earth are numbered, and we are instructed by God to focus more on our eternity than on the temporal temptations of this world.

Matthew 6:19-20 instructs us, “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.” Our hope is always strengthened when we are more focused on eternity than on the here and now.

We have a certain hope in sovereign God who loves us and has a wonderful plan for our lives and for the world. We often cannot see God’s purposes, but this is what makes us hopeful. It is not what we can see, but what we cannot see that makes us strong. The exercise of our faith generates hope for today and for tomorrow. Y Dr. Tate Cockrell is the Family Pastor and Director of The Center for Hope and Healing at Broadmoor Baptist Church in Madison, MS. He and his wife, Wendy, have one daughter, Tatum, and twin sons, Preston and Spencer. He is a guest professor at Reformed Theological Seminary and New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary, as well as a featured speaker at marriage and family conferences. www.broadmoor.org.

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➺chewed petunias

by SUSAN E. RICHARDSON

Wrestling Faith …so I say, “My endurance has perished; so has my hope from the LORD.” Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” Lamentations 3:18-24 (ESV) aybe you share the questions I once asked, questions that left me angry with God. If God is truly all-powerful, then why hasn’t He worked out my life challenges? Why didn’t He protect me from abuse? Why do I struggle just to keep going every day?

I asked these and many more through my journey.

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Friends tried to tell me to trust God, but that didn’t answer my pain and questions. My problem was what I believed with my head clashed with what I felt in my heart. When I put some of the events of my life against what the Bible says about God, I came up with pictures that didn’t match. Choosing to trust what I knew to be true didn’t change the way I felt.

In the end I had to face my biggest problem. Though I was willing to ask the questions, I wouldn’t ask God about them. I asked friends. I asked myself. I cherished my questions and the anger that went with them, but I never took them to God. Instead I offered Him my performance, trying to say and do the right things. Finally I began to offer Him honesty. I admitted I was angry with Him. I told Him what I wished He’d done differently and how it looked like He’d failed me by not protecting me.

I also had to tell Him that I was afraid of Him. With all the pain and wounds on my heart, I feared more if I allowed Him close. We

serve a relational God, one who wants to know us and have us know Him. My heart, with all of its wounds and questions and messy emotions, was what He asked for.

In the end we had to wrestle it out together like Jacob wrestled with the angel in the Bible. The struggle forced me to open my heart more to God as I listened for His answers to my questions. In the end, the gap between head and heart narrowed as I allowed Him to enter more deeply.

Christians in the past called this kind of wrestling with God “lament.” Michael Card speaks of lament as a spiritual discipline we’ve lost in the modern church in his book A Sacred Sorrow. He defines lament as bringing your grief, anger, and questions to God, something we see in Scripture, especially in the Psalms.

In Psalm 13:1-4 David provides a good example. He asks God, “How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; my enemy will say, ‘I have overcome him,’ and my foes will rejoice when I fall.”

However, we must balance questions with the other portion of lament: reminding ourselves of what we know to be true about God. David models the process in this Psalm. Verses five and six move from questions to praise with, “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.”

You can make lament a part of your journey by listing your struggles and your questions. Take these before God, looking to Him for the answers even as you acknowledge anger or pain. Let Scriptures you read refresh your knowledge of God’s character. His steadfast love is for you.

Father, we fear giving you the gift of our heart, with all the pain and messy questions each one contains. Life has hurt us badly and we fear more pain. Please be gentle with our wounded souls. We will hold onto what we know to be true about You, even as we wrestle with doubt and fear.. Y (*To get started with the full chewed petunias story, please visit www.chewedpetunias.com. You’ll find the story plus other material that may help you along the way.)

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Susan E. Richardson has a passion for meeting people’s needs through the written word. You can reach her by email at Susan@chewedpetunias.com or check either of her two websites: www.chewedpetunias.com or www.nextlevelcritiques.com

single still, single again

by AMY INGRAM

Do You Fear GOD?

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wo weeks ago, I was sitting at my computer looking for a job and watched the weather quickly decline within a matter of minutes.

I heard a loud crack-like noise and boom, the earth shook, and one of the large trees in my backyard fell.

I waited for the intense weather to pass and went outside to check on everything.

The tree crashed perfectly—two feet from my fence, 10 feet from my house. I stood over the madness and just stared. I’ve had three, yes three, trees fall near me over the past 10 years. And I (and my home and car) have been spared every time.

I began to study the snapped part at the base of the tree. Had the tree snapped any other direction, my fence or house would have been damaged. Bad. Did I mention I am unemployed and without income right now? That would have been a hard blow.

I started thinking about God in the midst of all of it. He knew that tree was going to fall; He knew I am unemployed.

He knew all of the details of that moment, and He spared it all. I am a firm believer that His provision and hand held that broken tree as it fell and directed it where to fall.

It brought me to a great conversation with Him about provision, His timing, having all things under his control, and ultimately fearing Him. Do you fear God? I’ve had to confess that even though I know He acts on my behalf and has my life in His hands, I doubt it often.

And then when He does so blatantly act, I am so slow to

acknowledge just how good He has been to me.

So I’ve asked him about fearing Him and this is what He showed me: “Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him, on those who hope in his steadfast love,” (Psalm 33:18).

“Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Oh, fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack! The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing,” (Psalm 34:8-10).

I want to fear God in such a way that all provision He provides—big and small—become my overwhelming focus as I walk with Him. In trees that fall, jobs He’s working on creating, and the man He has created for me, I have to fear Him. Believing He really does give us His best, for what we might have believed to be better.

It says in the Book of Psalm that those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.

Seek Him. Trust Him. Fear Him. Believe He can move mountains in your life, for that is the relationship He desires from us.

Remember, He’s got this life of ours. Be loved, beloved. Y Amy Ingram is a local marketing professional. She lives in Madison with her little boo, Mabel. Feel free to contact her at amyeingram@gmail.com and/or follow her on twitter @ingramjackson.

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➺education connection

by NANCY NEW

Child Advocacy Center Serves Abused Children

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young lady who has suffered unspeakable and unimaginable sexual abuse for years by a trusted family friend, a confused little boy who will forever bare

the scar on his face from a burn inflicted on his young body by an angry boyfriend of his mother, parents who are struggling with the overwhelming feelings of anger, guilt, and confusion after learning that their child was abused by a relative; it is the lives of these children and families and so many others like them that we provide services for daily at the Madison/Rankin Children’s Advocacy Center.

The Madison/Rankin Children’s Advocacy Center is a nationally accredited Children’s Advocacy Center that serves children and families from several counties in the Central Mississippi area. Although many people do not know what a Children’s Advocacy Center does or what the purpose is, the work of our children’s advocacy center, often referred to as “CAC”, is vital to the community.

The CAC provides multiple services to child and adolescent victims of various types of abuse. We provide these services free of charge and rely largely on our support from the businesses and individuals from the community to be able to continue to provide these services. One of the most important services that we provide is forensic interviewing, which allows for a victim of abuse to come to our child friendly center and be interviewed by a trained professional about their abuse, while multiple investigative agencies such as law enforcement and the

Department of Human Services observe that interview live through closed circuit television. This process allows the victim to only have to be interviewed once, greatly reducing the amount of trauma for the victim, all while aiding the investigative agencies process these difficult cases quickly and efficiently.

The CAC works with the children and their families from the beginning of the investigation process all the way to the end providing support and services to aid the victim and their family with healing and moving forward in their lives. The CAC also works in the community providing information about the prevention of child abuse and how the community and individuals can ensure that our children are safe and healthy.

The Madison/Rankin Children’s Advocacy Center opened in Madison, MS, in 2011 and has already served over 300 children and families from more than five area counties. If you would like more information about the Madison/Rankin Children’s Advocacy Center, please feel free to contact us at 601-714-1040 or visit us at our website www.mscec.org. Y

Dr. Nancy New is Executive Director New Summit School Services, New Learning Resources, Inc. and the Mississippi Community Education Center

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the doctors is in

by MARSHALL BOULDIN, M. D.

Helping People Control Diabetes Gives Meaning to Life’s Work very spring, I make a commitment to do a deep spring clean. There is something cathartic about starting fresh in the new season. While most people incorporate a little spring-cleaning for their homes, it is also a good time to clean up your health.

April is National Defeat Diabetes Month and is a reminder of the diabetes epidemic sweeping our nation and the state of Mississippi. In fact, a recent study from the American Diabetes Association shows that more than 22 million Americans are living with diabetes, a number that increases more than 8 percent every year.

Mississippi ranks first among the fifty states in the number of people living with diabetes.

Twelve percent of adult Mississippians have been diagnosed with diabetes, and many more are at risk for the disease. Uncontrolled diabetes can cause serious health complications including heart disease, kidney disease, nerve damage and even death. With so many people diagnosed with diabetes, or at risk of diabetes, the prevalence of the disease is quickly reaching epidemic proportions. It is time to defeat diabetes.

People with diabetes often do not immediately recognize the symptoms of the disease, or the symptoms seem minor. If you are at risk, or think you may be at risk for the disease, I urge you to get tested this month.

Early detection will increase your chances of preventing related complications and controlling the disease.

Defeating diabetes is a goal that I have made my mission in life. For years, I’ve dedicated myself to developing a program that can help people with diabetes, gain control of the disease and improve their lives, right here in my home state.

For a decade, I worked with the University of Mississippi Medical Center, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, U.S. Health Resources and Services Administration, and the Delta Health Alliance to develop an innovative program to help high-risk patients control their diabetes. Our program underwent rigorous university testing and proved to be highly successful in lowering A1c scores and improving the overall health of our patients. I watched as patients who once seemed incapable of improvement gained control of their illness. They were sick less often. They lost weight. They improved their high cholesterol and blood pressure. Most

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The Diabetes Care Group university-tested and proven program features individualized treatment plans and treatment provided by a team of diabetes specialists.

Drs. Marshall Bouldin and Jinna Shepherd of Diabetes Care Group have successfully treated more than 10,000 patients with diabetes in the past 13 years with nine out of 10 patients gaining control of their diabetes.

SIGNS YOU MIGHT HAVE DIABETES INCLUDE: • Frequent urination • Unusual thirst • Extreme hunger • Unusual weight loss • Extreme fatigue and Irritability • Frequent infections • Blurred vision • Cuts/bruises that are slow to heal • Tingling/numbness in the hands/feet • Recurring skin, gum, or bladder infections For more information on diabetes, or how you can take control of diabetes, visit B1ofthe9.com importantly, they improved their quality of life.

Diabetes Care Group has expanded this university-tested and proven treatment model to make it widely available for people across the state. In just three years, Diabetes Care Group has successfully treated more than 3,000 patients who previously struggled with diabetes.

Overall, 91 percent of our patients gain control or see significant improvements in their diabetes in the first year. This astonishing rate of success is the basis of our current “B1ofthe9” campaign, encouraging diabetics across the state to join the nine of out 10 patients who gain meaningful control of their disease at Diabetes Care Group.

The Diabetes Care Group model integrates state-of-the-art medical management, patient education, and behavioral modification to improve the self-management of diabetes. This integrated approach shows remarkable results for individuals with diabetes because we empower diabetes patients to manage their disease effectively.

My life’s calling is to serve the people of Mississippi by showing them how to live with diabetes. We create a path to a healthier lifestyle and free them from the devastating complications of the disease, watching as lives are transformed.

If you or your loved one is struggling with diabetes or is at risk for developing diabetes, I encourage you to seek treatment. The first step is a screening to determine if you have the disease.

If you are diabetic and eligible for treatment, your physician should work with you to create an individualized treatment plan. With comprehensive patient education, nutrition counseling and a team of specialized diabetes specialists, you can defeat diabetes. Y Marshall Bouldin, M.D. is the Chief Medical Officer of Diabetes Care Group.

He was formerly Chief Medical Officer of the Delta Health Alliance, a federallyfunded not-for-profit organization responsible for improving health and wellness in the Mississippi Delta region. Previously, Dr. Bouldin was Associate Professor of Medicine at the University of Mississippi Medical Center, where he founded and directed both the UMMC Diabetes and Metabolism Center and the Delta Diabetes Project.

From 1991 through 1999, Dr. Bouldin practiced internal medicine in Vicksburg, Mississippi. A Rhodes Scholar, Dr. Bouldin received his bachelor’s degree from the University of Mississippi, and an M.D. degree from Johns Hopkins University. He was a resident in internal medicine at the University of Virginia. metrochristianliving.com ❘ APRIL 2013 43

➺sports victories

by ROBERT WILSON • PHOTOS KEITH WARREN

Coach Melissa Word Mentors on the Court elissa Word won her first state championship on March 9 when she guided her Canton High School Lady Tigers to a 67-45 victory over South Jones for the Class 5A girls basketball title at the Mississippi Coliseum in Jackson.

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Word just completed her 15th season as coach at Canton and reached the top of the high school girl’s basketball world with a championship. She set a school record with 29 victories and only four defeats and finished No. 6 in the Clarion-Ledger Super 10 poll.

But many of her players already knew she was a champion in other ways than a coach.

Mother. Nurse. Counselor. Friend. Listener. Disciplinarian. Taxi driver. Motivator.

“I feel like I’m more than a basketball coach to these girls,” said Word, who also teaches physical education at Canton. “I’ve been blessed to be a part of their lives and hopefully I’ve helped them along the way. Most of these girls come from single-parent homes. Some have it pretty rough so I want to be there for them. They know they can come to me with anything going on and I’m not going to judge them. I’m always here to help them in whatever way they need.”

Word tried to follow the example led by her parents, Catherine and Roger Cowan. Word grew up in Ripley and became a Christian and was baptized when she was seven years old at Bethlehem Baptist Church in nearby Faulkner.

“Dad played the piano there and Mom was on the mother board where the ladies of the church would do mission work for the elderly and help out people in the church,” Word said. “My three sisters (Anesha, Melany, and Monica) and I started in the choir at an early age.

I can’t remember when we weren’t in the choir. I guess when we started walking; we started in the children’s choir and moved our way up.

“The pastor that baptized me (Franklin Howell) is still there. Our church was very close knit. We had a lot of relatives who were members there and also had a lot of neighbors who were members there. We had a great time growing up there and learned a lot of life lessons.”

Word played basketball at Northeast Mississippi Community College and Tougaloo College and earned a degree in health and

44 APRIL 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living

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education. She got the job at Canton High right out of college and has been there ever since.

“Coaches and teachers can influence a lot of lives and we have a big responsibility to be there for our students,” said Word, who has attended Holy Family Catholic Church in Jackson for the past 10 years since she married Jason Word. They have two children, Madison, 8, and Justin, 5.

“My basketball players and students have a lot of ups and downs.

And they are all different and must be handled in a variety of ways.

Some react differently to success, failure, and discipline. It is important to get to know these kids. They test your faith and sometimes you want to know why this is happening to this child. But God will never put more on you than you can take. He is always there for you and I make sure my students and players know that. There are many people who say they don’t have time for these students, but I make time. I want them to know that I am always there even when others aren’t. It is a critical time in their lives. They have so many temptations and ups and downs. They appreciate what I do for them.

After they graduate, they will come and see me.”

Players like Ashley Beals, who was one of three seniors on this year’s team. Beals was the leading scorer and rebounder in the championship game and was very excited that day, but her relationship with Word is much more important than any trophy.

“Coach Word is a very hard working and driven coach who allows us to believe in ourselves even if no one does,” Beals said. “If we are down in a game, she doesn’t say much to us about getting ourselves back in the game, but the little things she does say make us want to play harder.”

“Coach Word is like a mother to me,” Canton junior Jamilah Sanders said. “She helped me not only in basketball, but in life too. Coach has told me things that I will carry for the rest of my life. She will never let you waste a gift God has given you. There was a time in my life that I found out some terrible news and I didn't have a clue what to do. Coach held my hand all the way through it all. She knows what is right for me and has given me things I didn't have or couldn't get.” Y

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Robert Wilson is Business Developer for BFAC . He is a freelance writer, author, and the publisher of Victories in Metro Jackson magazine. He is a member of Broadmoor Baptist Church. Contact him at Robert@bfac.com. metrochristianliving.com ❘ APRIL 2013 45

➺let’s get real

by JANIE PILLOW

Conflict: His and Hers (Part III) o you and your spouse seemly hopelessly stuck over a problem that you just can’t solve? If so, learning to cope with

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the conflict may seem impossible, and you fear your relationship is going to become difficult.

People have issues that for them are negotiable and others that are nonnegotiable. It is usually the non-negotiable that get us “stuck.” These issues usually involve a deeper part of who we are. John Gottman, a leading marital expert, calls these deeper issues our “dreams” when they are part of the conflict with our partner they are called, “dreams within conflict.”

A good way to look at these problems is to realize you don’t have to solve them, but most people don’t realize that because they are so emotionally invested. Many times there is no solution. So what is the answer? The goal is to move from the “gridlock” into a dialogue. One needs to get to a position of declawing the problem; thus, taking the sharp pain out of it so you can talk about it without hurting, defending or attacking. If a couple can do that, they can handle about any perpetual problem.

Ok how does one do that?

46 APRIL 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living

First, you must get to the root of what the issues are that underlie the conflict. Usually, it is because either or both have deep dreams or hurts that underlie the problem and are not getting realized or respected. Often people don’t even realize what their own dream is that is driving them to pursue their position. Dreams, as defined

by Gottman are “the hopes, aspirations, and wishes that are part of a person’s identity and give purpose and meaning to life.” Dreams can be practical and profound, or a combination of either. They may be as practical as owning your own home or financial independence. Victor Frank calls these your “meaning centers; “ Steven Covey calls them “personal centers.” In a close relationship, we draw meaning from what the other person thinks of us.

We all look to certain people to affirm our sense of self worth (a sense that we are worthy of love and respect). No one can validate himself or herself. We look to certain people or objects to validate this sense of self. The more certain we are of this significance the more “emotional wealth” we have. We should get our primary wealth from the fact that we are made in God’s image, but we extend it

beyond that to things that we are invested in.

Second. Couples that identify dreams and can realize that they are deeply important to the other person understands it’s important to support the other person’s dream even if you can’t go along at implementing it.

Neither party should be expected to bury their dreams. What is important is that both of you share your dreams with the other partner. This is more important than just exchanging information. It lies at out deepest core. The challenge comes when dreams work in conflict with each other. One person could want a bigger house or another child, while the other partner wants financial independence. Or it may be that one person is more invested in the children and the spouse wants the larger emphasis to be put on the couple.

Years ago my husband and I got in an argument about something. As we talked it was obvious that I was clearly wrong. He said, “OK, Janie, say you were wrong.” Then I said, “OK. I was wrong.” He then said, “OK, say you are sorry.” I said, “No. I will say I was wrong, but I won’t say I’m sorry because I am not sorry yet.”

I realized that we get invested in things

and it takes calming down before we can become more objective. Now this thing I was arguing about was just a fact about something. It was not about one of my personal centers. Can you imagine how emotionally invested I would have been and refusing to back off, if we had been discussing something that gave my life significance? You see, many of us spend a lifetime evaluating our life centers or the things that give meaning to our lives. It helps us if we realize what things that we are not willing to give up or are “non-negotiable.”

Often when a couple are locked in this “gridlock, they are arguing about something that is non-negotiable. It is most helpful if your spouse or partner realizes that you are locked, not just in an issue, but also in one of the things that gives your life significance.

It is also wonderful if they can at the end of the conversation express that they realize how important this significant thing is in your life. In valuing the “thing” they are tantamount to saying,”I value you.”

In order to find out what our nonnegotiable are a couple has to be willing to move from conflict into dialogue about the issue. (I say issue, because it is hard to dialogue or

conflict over more than one issue at a time.) The most helpful thing in this dialogue is to realize 1) First that we are in dialogue about something that is nonnegotiable for us. 2) If the spouse is just trying to understand our deepest feelings about these issues, they do not challenge us out of their strength. But they use their strength to be supportive of our dreams.

Now here is where it gets sticky. The person with the least amount of personal significance is often married to a person that has more personal power. Very often when a spouse or friend challenges the less powerful partner, that partner gives in to the other person’s personal power externally by giving in on what they hold dear. The problem with this is that if I do this, it is tantamount to slicing off a piece of my sense of self. It is hard, for sooner or later, that person not to become bitter. So the person with the most personal power has won, but they have really lost part of their spouse. This is especially true if the person they are married to is passive aggressive. Passive aggressive people will feel “no” but say “yes” to keep the peace but become more and more bitter each time they give up part of themselves.

That is why when you are in dialogue

about these issues that are so personally significant that you fight fair. Do not use the strategy of criticizing, blaming, defensiveness or stonewalling. What you are seeking to do is draw your spouse out and get to understand them better.

As described in earlier issue: The best way to dialogue about an issue is have one person be the listener and the other person be the speaker. The listener keeps asking “who, what, when where questions” until the speaker feels like the listener really understands their issue. Then they swap roles. The most important thing of all is to tell what you feel about the issue and how it affects you emotionally.

Next we will be moving into bitterness and resentment that follows when one does not feel understood or has been forced to give up one of these personal values. Y

Janie Pillow is in private practice at Janie Pillow Counseling (601- 8534788) She is also Co-founder of Third Millennium Ministries and has served since its inception as Chairman of the Board. See www.ThirdMill.Org. “Seminary Education for the World for Free.”

metrochristianliving.com ❘ APRIL 2013 47

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50 APRIL 2013 â?&#x2DC; Metro Christian Living

legal advice

by WILLIAM B. HOWELL

Distribution of Retirement Funds After Death he largest single asset many of us have is our retirement fund, whether it is an IRA, 401k, 403b, TSP, or other. The rules on what can happen when the owner passes are changing for the better. If your surviving spouse is the beneficiary, the fund can go to that person and they can continue the Required Minimum Distribution (RMD). Also, the fund is protected from the creditors of yours and/or your surviving spouse. You may recall that O. J. Simpson is receiving RMDs from his retirement funds and it is not available to his creditors. But what happens if your beneficiary is NOT your surviving spouse, but a child or grandchild?

With proper structuring of your account beneficiary designations, the child beneficiary may be allowed to take out the balance over a long period of time, even over their life expectancy. But that is merely one option. Often the child beneficiary will instead elect to take it all out at one time rather than wait to receive a little each year. That will result in almost half of your retirement fund going immediately to the taxman.

Remember, unless it is a Roth, the taxes have never been paid, but will have to be paid when the child takes it out. So out of a $100,000 IRA,

T

for example, after taxes there may be enough to buy that new Corvette and then it is all gone.

What you had managed to accumulate over years of working disappears with hardly a ripple.

There is another problem that is often not talked about, or frequently misunderstood. As stated above, your retirement funds are exempt from being taken by your creditors, so long as you or your spouse is the beneficiary. But when it goes to another person (child or grandchild) it is what is called an â&#x20AC;&#x153;inherited IRAâ&#x20AC;? and loses its asset protection. As an example, your child can lose every penny to their divorce, bankruptcy, a car wreck or other lawsuit, or just foolish mismanagement. You are gone, so you cannot prevent it. Is there a way to prevent it?

Yes. Thanks to some newer interpretations of IRS regulations, you may now set up a special type of trust to be the beneficiary of your retirement funds that will assure that your child or grandchild beneficiary doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t take a â&#x20AC;&#x153;lump sumâ&#x20AC;? distribution and lose a huge amount to immediate taxes. Instead, they can be given annual distributions based on each individualâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life expectancy. But that is not the only advantage. The assets in the fund will continue to

grow tax deferred over their lifetime, just as if it were their own IRA. And, when properly structured, the trust can prevent loss of these funds to their creditors, divorce, or other types of danger.

With this type arrangement you continue to control your retirement funds. You can take out any sum you need during your lifetime. You (and your surviving spouse, if any) are not affected in any way. It is only after you are gone that this trust becomes the beneficiary. There is very little in the way of expense involved, especially in light of the many benefitsâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;benefits that cannot be provided in any other way. This is not something your heirs can do for themselves. Only you can do it for them. It can provide them security for many, many years after you are gone. And it is protected. Many of my clients have expressed how much better they can rest knowing with certainty what is going to happen with their retirement funds. How about you? Y William B. Howell is a member of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys and practices law in Ridgeland.

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www.howellelderlaw.com metrochristianliving.com â?&#x2DC; APRIL 2013 51

➺rave reviews BOOK

Harvest of Rubies

MUSIC Reviewed by Susan E. Richardson

When Sarah was seven years old, her mother died. After that her father seemed to have no time or use for her, leaving her feeling rejected and unwanted.

On her twelfth birthday she finally found a way to win her father’s approval. He discovered she had taught herself to read and began spending time with her, teaching her the scribe’s trade, including the many languages of the Persian empire.

Sarah’s cousin, Nehemiah, was the king’s cupbearer. He also took an interest in Sarah’s education, soon seeing her extraordinary abilities. When he heard the king and queen talking about the queen’s need for a skilled scribe, he told them about Sarah. Suddenly she went from an ordinary Jewish girl living a sheltered life to the palace with its protocol and intrigue.

Gifted at her job, Sarah quickly gains the queen’s favor, but her past still nags her. The only way she knows to be accepted is to perform well. God, like her father, must not have time for her unless she finds a way to win His favor. She lives in constant anxiety that she will not live up to expectations. Unexpected changes take her down new roads until Sarah finally learns to trust God and finds her own place.

Set after Esther’s reign, author Tessa Afshar brings the ancient Persian court to life in Harvest of Rubies. Historical tidbits make a fascinating addition without overwhelming the story. Fans of historical fiction will enjoy both the plot and setting. Y Susan E. Richardson is a writer, critique reader, and former Christian retailer with a passion for meeting people’s needs through the written word. You can reach her through her website www.nextlevelcritiques.com.

ZION Written by Casey Combest of The Collective Hillsong United’s latest studio album Zion, released in February 2013, may be an introduction to a new direction for this worship group. Hillsong is often on the forefront of pushing the limits of what’s expected from a ‘worship album’. When Joel Houston was asked by CCM magazine’s Grace Cartwright Aspinwill about the aggressive sound on this project, he replied, “I don't know that the sound is more 'aggressive.' Unless by 'aggressive' you mean 'new.' I think we have always set out to write songs and create musical expression that is almost uncomfortable in its uniqueness.

Not for the sake of progression, or to keep pace with whatever the trends say, but simply because I feel like it's an essential aspect of what I believe worship is.”

Listeners can clearly hear the influences of popular secular bands M83, MGMT, and the like, via genres Synthpop and Nu Gaze. The hook of the first track “Relentless,” sounds so close to M83’s “Midnight City” that it could be on the same album. While this may be distracting for some listeners, others may find it a welcome change.

Whatever your musical taste, Zion is certainly different than anything else floating along in the CCM world. Y

We believe that every moment matters. Maybe that’s why so many families believe in us when it comes to choosing a hospice provider. For more information or to receive our free DVD, “Hospice and Your Loved One,” call 601-983-3193. gentiva.com/hospice

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52 APRIL 2013 ❘ Metro Christian Living

events calendar MADISON April 23

Biblical Manhood— Equipping Men to be Men of Courage Voddie Baucham will be leading a men’s conference at Jackson’s First Baptist Church on April 19 and 20, and it is going to be really, really worth your time.

Warren Speed, men’s ministry chair, says, “We are very excited to have Voddie Baucham leading this year's conference, Biblical Manhood: Equipping Men to be Men of Courage. Voddie has walked a unique path that allows him to engage a broad audience. He is Pastor of Grace Family Baptist Church in Spring, TX, and is author of six books.”

His area of expertise is “Cultural Apologetics,” but do not let that term scare you. Cultural Apologetics addresses the moral, philosophical, and cultural issues of the day from a Christian perspective. I really can’t think of anything more relevant a Christian man could do in this day and time than to understand and know how to combat the deteriorating world around us!

Voddie was raised in a non-Christian, single-parent home. He did not hear the gospel until he was in college. His journey to faith involved more than a little skepticism and a lot of intellectual analysis. He knows how to talk to other skeptics, and he knows how to take a Christian’s understanding of scripture to a whole new level.

He holds degrees from Houston Baptist University, Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, an honorary degree from Southern California Seminary, and has done additional post-graduate study at the University of Oxford, England.

He and his wife, Bridget, are the parents of eight children and enthusiastic homeschoolers.

The Friday night segment will go from 6 to 9 p.m. and a box dinner is provided.

The Saturday segment runs from 9:00 a.m. to 12:00 noon. Tickets are only $10 and can be purchased online at fbcj.org. Group tickets are available from Don Waller at 601.946.1290. Y

JACKSON

The Mississippi Community Education Center’s Children’s Advocacy Center of Madison County (MCEC-CAC) will have their Cooking For Our Kids fundraiser from 5:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. on the lawn of our Children’s Advocacy Center at 961 Madison Avenue. Tickets are on sale now for $45.00 per person/$60.00 per couple. Cooking For Our Kids will be an annual event that showcases local restaurants and vendors.

Held in the heart of Madison, the event will raise money for the Children’s Advocacy Center of Madison and Rankin Counties. For more information, call 601-714-1040 or visit www.mscec.org.

April 9 The United Methodist Women of Christ United Methodist Church will host their 7th annual Tablescapes event from 10:00 a.m.-1:00 p.m.

Gather good ideas while perusing over 40 beautifully decorated tables. Proceeds go to various UMW missions. For additional information, call 601-956-6974.

April 13 Race for the Cure, a run and walk in honor or our mothers, sisters, and dads in the fight for a world without breast cancer, will be in downtown Jackson at the Old Capitol. The race will feature an inaugural 10K along with the 5Krun/walk and the children’s fun run. For additional information, call 866-475-6636.

April 19-20

RIDGELAND April 6 Come join for the second-annual Wild Walk & Run 5k. This all-ages event is a great opportunity to spend time enjoying nature and supporting the Conservancy at the same time. The course starts and finishes at the Old Trace Park with race/walk time beginning at 8:00 a.m. To register, go to nature.org/wildwalk.

First Baptist Church Jackson will host their Jackson Men’s Conference featuring Voddie Baucham—a well-known husband, father, pastor, author, professor, and church planter.

Tickets are $10 with a box dinner included on Friday. For additional information, call 601-946-1290.

April 5-6 Margaret Feinberg will be the featured speaker at First Baptist Church Women’s Enrichment Ministry. Enjoy this dynamic speaker as she encourages us to be astounded by God. For registration and ticket information, call 601-949-1978.

May 4-5 Woodland Hills Baptist Church will host a Les Feldick “Through the Bible” seminar. Les has taught Bible classes in the USA for over 30 years and can be seen on the ION Network.

Admission is free but a love offering will be taken. For complete schedule, call 601-981-1441.

FLOWOOD April 20 Put your walking shoes on to Join the Movement to create a world free of MS. The benefit begins at 8:00 a.m. at Winner’s Circle Park with funds raised to help support services for the more than 2,400 fellow Mississippians struggling with Multiple Sclerosis. For additional information, visit www.walkMS.org. Y

metrochristianliving.com ❘ APRIL 2013 53

MARCH 2013

WHAT’S GOING ON

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“Faith sees the invisible, believes the unbelievable, and receives the impossible.”

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– Abraham Lincoln

– Corrie Ten Boom

“One thing, and only one, in this world has eternity stamped upon it.

Feelings pass; resolves and thoughts pass; opinions change.What you have done lasts—lasts in you. Through ages, through eternity, what you have done for Christ, that, and only that, you are.”

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Then He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.”

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“ So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun.”

– Ecclesiastes 8:15

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If I gave everything I have to the poor & even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

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