Mississippi Christian Living February 2023

Dr. Alyssa Killebrew

‘SEK’ and you will find

● Love in the trenches

● A boomer relearns love

Alyssa

PUBLISHER

MS Christian Living, Inc.

EDITOR

Katie Eubanks

katie@mschristianliving.com

MANAGING EDITOR

Suzanne Durfey

ART/GRAPHIC DESIGN

Sandra Goff

SALES

Suzanne Durfey, Ginger Gober, Teresa Howell

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Chris Fields, Dan Hall, Rev. Dr. Austin Hoyle, Laura Lee Leathers, Allie Murphy, Sarah Rein, Jade Whitehurst

COVER PHOTOGRAPHY Stegall Imagery

DISTRIBUTION ASSISTANTS

Rachel and Nettie Schulte, Jerri and Sammy Strickland, Rachel and Bob Whatley

Mississippi Christian Living P.O. Box 1819 Madison, MS 39130 601.345.1091

mschristianliving.com

Mississippi Christian Living is committed to encouraging individuals in their daily lives by presenting the faith stories of others and by providing information that will point every person, at every stage of life, to a deeper, authentic, personal, and life-changing encounter with Jesus Christ. Views expressed in Mississippi Christian Living do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. Every effort has been made by the Mississippi Christian Living staff to insure accuracy of the publication contents. However, we do not guarantee the accuracy of all information nor the absence of errors and omissions; hence, no responsibility can be or is assumed. All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2022 by MS Christian Living, Inc.

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POSTMASTER: Send change of address to Mississippi Christian Living, P.O. Box 1819, Madison, MS 39130.

Libbo and Clay Crosswhite share their story of being “highschool sweethearts,” breaking up in college, and how God has continued to shape them in marriage. See page 26.

Enjoying some of God’s beauty in creation at Petit Jean State Park in Morrilton, Arkansas (right before Stephen surprised me with a proposal).

To behold the beauty of the Lord

Recently, I was thinking about Paris. (Any excuse will do, right?) I got to go there in 2009, and I hope to return one day with Stephen. That city was just so full of beauty.

Of course I visited several art museums, where I saw enough beautiful paintings and sculptures to last a lifetime. I saw gorgeous architecture; in certain parts of Paris, run-of-themill buildings are as pretty as the best-looking thing in America. Even their Christmas decorations are more elegant than ours: It was January, and little lilac-colored bulbs still adorned the trees along the Champs-Élysées. Don’t get me started on Notre Dame.

I love remembering Paris, imagining myself there again, and soaking in it like a big mental bubble bath. But the best part is, all of that beauty points to something — or rather, Someone.

Ultimately, God is the source of all beauty. God is the One who gave those architects, artists, and even the designers of those Christmas lights, the ability to create things that delight the senses.

When the earth was formless and void, and darkness was on the face of the deep (Genesis 1:1-2), God is the One who said, “Let there be light” (verse 3). God is also the One who breathed beauty into those very words, into the language of scripture.

Regardless of whether a creator on this earth gives credit to their Creator, all the beauty they create cries out for us to look at Him. If we don’t give Him praise, nature will (Luke 19:40). All beauty comes from God.

Maybe “beauty” isn’t your thing. Maybe you’re more enthralled by history. So much has happened in 5,000 years of recorded events! For instance, February is Black History Month. Did you know Christianity was in Africa by the 1st century AD (500-plus years before Islam even began)? When I Googled “history of Christianity in Africa,” the results could’ve kept me busy for hours.

Go ahead, think of another topic and Google it. Your browser will explode with information.

If 5,000 years of earthly history contain that much, imagine what we can learn from Christ, “in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge” (Colossians 2:3). Imagine what we can learn from our allknowing Creator.

Like the rest of God’s character — including His love, His justice, and His power — His

beauty and wisdom are two things we can praise Him for no matter what. I can’t always feel satisfied with myself or my circumstances, but I can know and be satisfied in Him: who He is, was, and ever will be.

How awesome that this God would love me enough to die for my sins so I could be with Him! How awesome that this God wants to be with me! “One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to inquire in his temple.” – Psalm 27:4.

Oh, to inquire of God and gaze on His beauty! What a powerful, eternal privilege!

We can do that now, by the way. Not to the fullest extent — that’ll happen when we live in God’s direct presence in the coming age — but if we’ve put our trust in Christ, we have access to inquire of Him anytime. We can gaze on His beauty on this earth anytime — we just have to choose to see it.

Come create some beauty with me!

On Saturday, April 1, we will host our firstever MCL Writing Retreat for women! We’ll gather at Roosevelt State Park in Morton for a day of rest, creativity and refreshment featuring Mississippi authors Tonja Murphy and Sherye Green, along with myself.

I’ll be sharing my journey with writing and faith; Tonja will speak on how to find your “God story”; and Sherye will share how to find your “sweet spot” or genre. We’ll have fun writing exercises, breakfast and lunch, and time to hike if you want! Space is LIMITED, but the retreat is open to writers of all experience levels. Sign up now at bit.ly/MCLwritingretreat.

Must-reads in this issue:

● Our cover story on Dr. Alyssa Killebrew and her journey of tragedy, faith and mental health, plus her SEK camp for teens (page 18)

● Our feature story on Libbo and Clay Crosswhite, two “high school sweethearts” who keep it real (page 26)

● Dan Hall’s column, “A boomer relearns love” (page 8) Y

Katie Eubanks katie@mschristianliving.com

39 years,

A boomer relearns love

Songs from my generation don’t always have the best advice on or view of love.

A few samples:

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” – The Lettermen, quoting the movie “Love Story.” This didn’t work the one time I tried it as my wife, arms folded, foot tapping, was waiting for my apology.

“I want you, I need you / But there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you / Now don’t be sad / ‘Cause two out of three ain’t bad.” –Meatloaf. Yeah … don’t try this one, either.

“Every breath you take, and every move you make / Every bond you break, every step you take, I’ll be watching you.” – The Police. I heard this at a wedding once. Is it wrong that I have a morbid curiosity about how that couple is doing today?

“I’ll never break your heart / I’ll never make you cry.” – The Backstreet Boys. After my time, but while I was a father of teenage girls. They’re still in therapy because, in the middle of the song, I turned around in the van and said, “Oh yeah he will! Count on it!”

Many adages and quotes on love, whether beautiful or cringe-worthy, are just downright wrong. Unfortunately, and in various seasons of my life, I’ve believed several that resulted in me hurting my marriage, my wife, and even my kids. Thank God for grace and forgiveness!

We might do well to prioritize and focus on God’s incredible relationship framework in 1

Corinthians 13. Most of us have heard great sermons on this, but we still often fail just to stop, read, and meditate on it with one simple question: Am I demonstrating this to my spouse?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

You know the points: These are verbs, not adjectives. We either do or don’t do each one. I’m not naïve. In my own marriage and in hundreds I’ve known or even worked with, this can feel awfully grandiose, unattainable, and, honestly, weighty and unfulfilling.

But I believe that’s exactly what God intended. This type of love requires we die to ourselves, put the other first, and, if I’m going to be a faithful follower of Christ, simply obey Him. It is in that dying to myself that I actually live, experience fulfillment, and love, even when I am not or don’t feel loved.

During this Valentine’s season, enjoy the love songs, relive sweet moments, be romantic. But I would challenge all of us to consider God’s counsel and advice on true love! Let’s align our hearts to His framework and see the miracles He can perform in our marriages! Y

Dan Hall is an executive and strategic coach to leaders and executive teams. He also works with organizations on team building, conflict resolution and communication skills. He and his wife, Hazel, have six children and four grandchildren. You can reach him at Dan@OnCourseSolutions.com.

“ Many adages and quotes on love, whether beautiful or cringe-worthy, are just downright wrong. Unfortunately … I’ve believed several that resulted in me hurting my marriage, my wife, and even my kids. Thank God for grace and forgiveness!”

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Love in the trenches: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient and kind.

If I was asked to give an example of a time when patience and kindness are needed, I would imagine myself letting people merge in front of me in the mile-long Chick-fil-A line, or being on hold for 10 minutes with the pharmacy and trusting that the people on the other end of the line really will be back with me as soon as possible.

What I would not immediately think of is my 3-year-old tossing his picture books into my lap and climbing on top of me while I’m trying to check my email, or finding my child’s toothbrush dry even though she told me she brushed her teeth.

Sadly, it’s often easier to exercise patience or kindness toward a stranger than toward the children I see every day.

God, remind me of how long-suffering You are in the face of my sin. Though I may struggle with the same thing for years, You bear with me in kindness. Grow this fruit in me so I can model it for my family in things big and small.

Love does not envy or boast.

I don’t think I struggle with envy until I find myself thinking of how nice my husband’s quiet ride to and from work must be, or how he probably went through his whole day with nobody screaming at him from another room. I don’t picture myself as a braggart until I catch myself reminding my children of everything I’ve done for them when they complain about their chores. In those instances, my heart is saying, “But what about me?”

God, help me be content with the life You have decided is good for me, and help me not to consider the things I’ve done as accomplishments that build me up. Instead, build Your kingdom inside our home.

It does not insist on its own way.

I am painfully aware of my shortcomings here. In parenting, I know that I have Godgiven authority and I know it is healthy for my children to respect that. But how often do I insist on my way out of selfishness instead of for their good? How often do I dig my heels in with my husband about a parenting decision

because I am convinced my way makes the most sense?

God, remind me of the joy in putting my family’s needs (and often their wants) ahead of mine. Motivate me to seek their good and trust You to take care of me.

It is not irritable or resentful. Moms, is it just me, or could you name five things that drive you crazy at this very second? That same loud tune on the piano all day long;

drink spills once you’ve all finally gotten to the table; bickering in the car over whose foot is on whose seat.

Sometimes I act as though I think God wasn’t considering my situation when He gave this directive. Surely He wasn’t picturing me trying to make lunch while answering a question about math (why can’t they teach it the same way I learned it?!) and responding to one of the 20-something texts I keep meaning to get to. Surely love might get irritated then. Is it wrong to be resentful that I’ve been interrupted during the first quiet moment I’ve had all day?

But the hope is that my Savior comes to mind — tired, dirty, hungry, worn out, but still so moved by love that He gets up yet again to heal the sick and feed the crowds.

God, I’ll never get this perfect on earth. Impress on my soul that my irritation and resentment is coming from a dark place in my heart that needs Your light. Produce self-control in me. Bring glory to Your name by my obedience.

It does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.

Father, when my husband asks how our day was, let the good come to mind. Let the moments of encouraging words between siblings, or prayers at the lunch table, or hugs before naptime, be the things that linger.

Let me not aggravate my children by nagging but be watchful for ways to plant Your Word in their minds. And show me how to celebrate — truly celebrate — the sanctification I see happening in our lives, even though it so often comes through things like spills and car tantrums.

AMEN. Y

Sarah Rein and her husband, Trey, are raising their four children in Brandon, where Trey is a school principal and Sarah is home a LOT. Luckily she’s an introvert who enjoys reading and learning about new things and people. The Reins love their church family at Lakeside Presbyterian and coffee.

“ Moms, is it just me, or could you name five things that drive you crazy at this very second? That same loud tune on the piano all day long; drink spills once you’ve all finally gotten to the table; bickering in the car over whose foot is on whose seat.”

From left: Eliza, John Ready, Stuart (back) and Vivian Rein.

How to find your love for fitness

Ido get it. I do know what it feels like. To look in the mirror and not recognize your body. To keep the flowy, stretchy pants on repeat because they’re the only thing that truly fits — but that’s not even the defeating part, is it? Sometimes it’s seeing the end goal of where you want to be, so far ahead of where you are. Therefore you wrestle with whether it’s even worth the effort.

I want you to know I know, and I do not write this column for me. I write this for the me in my “before” picture, because she represents a lot of us, and I want you to know that it is possible, that you can do hard things and do them well.

So, how do you begin your journey to a healthier, happier you, who finds JOY and LOVE in their own fitness?

1. Compare your journey to no one’s. “The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full” (John 10:10). When we compare our journey to someone else’s, we are allowing the enemy to instantly steal the joy of even starting. Your journey is just that: YOURS. It is supposed to be different. If you can focus on becoming 1 percent better than who you were yesterday, you are moving in the right direction.

2. Celebrate your 1 percent growth! Yes, you read that right! Celebrate even the minuscule achievements in your fitness journey. Small wins will lead to big wins, and this encouragement will catapult you to keep going. Keep in mind, a marathon runner didn’t start out running 26 miles. They had to first achieve mile 1. So celebrate your mile 1. It is just as important as mile 26.

3. Be realistic and prepare your heart and mind for setbacks. I get it, we want a clear path to victory, and one that does not have any roadblocks along the way — but that, unfortunately, is not realistic. Roadblocks will happen. Roadblocks like sickness, injuries, chaotic schedules, etc. However, remember that Romans 5:3-5 encourages us to rejoice through our sufferings. This is where the endurance is built and what makes the journey to becoming better that much sweeter! Setbacks are not our excuses; they are opportunities for growth. So when you encounter a setback, use it for growth and get better, not bitter!

4. Remember to always invite Jesus into the process. “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God — this is your true and proper worship” (Romans 12:1). Every minute, every day and every act of service is to help point ourselves and others to God. Our daily lives should be a direct reflection and response to the goodness and mercy He has so generously given us.

Therefore, let’s step into submitting it all to Him, inviting Him into our health and fitness journey, because He truly is where the joy is at — and He can be found in ALL that we do if we simply invite Him into it. Y

Before … and three months later.

Jade Whitehurst is a wife, mom, fitness coach and eighth-grade science teacher. You can follow her on Instagram @jadewhitehurst_fit (aka The Faith Fit Mom).

Get clarity, and get healthy!

Clarity is a basis of truth derived through understanding and evaluation. Here is an example in health terms: To maintain a balanced or healthy energy deficit and a healthy weight, we must eat in proportion to our activity levels.

This is an undeniable principle that’s applicable to the human body. This is something we all experience, but our experiences vary based on the physical and chemical makeup of the person and our actions. If we consume more energy (calories) than we expend (burn), we will gain weight. The more we continue to gain weight, we place ourselves at greater risk of developing a chronic preventable disease related to gradual excessive weight gain.

If we learn how to achieve a healthy energy balance, we can prevent unhealthy weight gain and preventable chronic disease related to gradual weight gain. If we learn how to create a positive/healthy energy

deficit, we can lose unnecessary weight and reverse any signs and symptoms of a preventable chronic disease, and/or delay the onset of a preventable chronic disease.

Now it’s a matter of evaluating our experiences so we can formulate a truth applicable specifically to us in terms of how our body responds to energy conservation and expenditure. Here’s a simple truth to remember: The more we eat, the more energy we need to expend.

I know the next thought trend would be the less we eat, the less active we have to be, but unfortunately it doesn’t work like that. Because our bodies store what we don’t use, and we have no way of knowing on a day-to-day basis how much is being stored and how much isn’t, the goal is to always be active, and we’ll let that serve as an operating principle. Energy demands vary from day to day, almost from hour to hour, and if we don’t work to balance those demands, it can cause adverse consequences.

God has set principles related to the human body, and they should serve as boundaries for us to live within. Once we begin operating within God’s principles, it’s up to us to evaluate our experience, and He enlightens our understanding, bringing us to a point of clarity. The goal is to be principled, and stack positive experiences based on those principles.

People choose all sorts of ways to derive a point of clarity. This causes unintended misinformation, leading to negative experiences. Always go with scientific evidence-based information, which is normally not found on social media but with your local health professionals. Health professionals have studied God’s creation enough to be licensed as health professionals, whether they claim Him as their God or not. Y

Chris Fields is the founder and executive director of H.E.A.L. Mississippi and a graduate in kinesiology with advance studies in nutrition. He serves as a clinical exercise physiologist/CPT and is credentialed in Exercise Is Medicine through American College of Sports Medicine.

“ The more we eat, the more energy we need to expend. I know the next thought would be the less we eat, the less active we have to be, but it doesn’t work like that. Because our bodies store what we don’t use, and we have no way of knowing on a day-to-day basis how much is being stored and how much isn’t.”

The bridge has been built: Will we walk across it?

Paul says in Ephesians 2:14, “For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility.” This verse highlights the barrier of hostility that existed between Jews and Gentiles in the early church, and that this barrier had been broken down and replaced by a bridge of grace via the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. The problem is that we don’t always choose to walk across that bridge.

Paul points to a physical wall that separated the Jewish and Gentile sections of the temple in Jerusalem, symbolizing animosity. Reliance upon the Mosaic law served as another barrier of hostility. Many Jewish Christians felt that the Gentiles were not saved unless they also rigorously kept the law. Because they could not keep the entire law, the Gentiles felt that they could not fully participate in the church.

Barriers of hostility exist across racial boundaries in the state of Mississippi. The state was known for its violent resistance to desegregation and equality. Physical barriers such as “whites only” signs and separate entrances for black and white individuals reinforced the idea of white superiority and created a sense of exclusion and alienation for black residents.

These barriers of hostility still exist today. African Americans in Mississippi continue to face discrimination and inequality in education, employment, housing, and the criminal justice system. Additionally, Mississippi has one of the highest poverty rates in the country, with African Americans disproportionately affected.

The most significant barriers, however, are invisible and rooted in hearts that do not strive toward Living Reconciled.

Having pastored predominantly white churches, I’ve witnessed two common invisible barriers that keep people from Living Reconciled. First, the overall church is illprepared to have this dialogue. Leaders and members alike don’t have the training and experience. Second, church leaders are often too afraid that this dialogue will antagonize members who don’t wish to adopt racial healing as a part of their Christian walk. They fear that some will become uncomfortable with the gospel call for the races to become one. Such a gospel call may require churches to change by increasing their participation in the ushering in of the kingdom of God for the transformation of the world.

Living Reconciled says that while these barriers have been broken down already by the work of Christ, Christians participate with the Holy Spirit to realize reconciliation in the present.

In my short time at Mission Mississippi, the staff reads scripture and prays with one another daily. Our conversations regularly explore the depths of these dividing walls of hostility, because we believe that deep and direct dialogue between Christians is the best pathway toward Living Reconciled. These honest and vulnerable conversations have been a beacon of hope for me as I work toward Living Reconciled.

My prayer is that, through the work of Mission Mississippi, invisible barriers are broken down, and churches and leaders across the state become better equipped to courageously Live Reconciled. Y

Rev. Dr. Austin Hoyle is the program coordinator for Mission Mississippi. He worships at Ridgeland First United Methodist Church with his three children: Eowyn, 12; Ensley, 12; and Loxley, 9; his wife, Rev. Bess Perrier, serves as pastor.

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“ Living Reconciled says that while these barriers have been broken down already by the work of Christ, Christians participate with the Holy Spirit to realize reconciliation in the present.”

“The Greatest Love Story Ever Told!”

No other set of books, except the Bible, will prepare the reader for an abundant life NOW and for a glorious ETERNITY better than Hallelujah, Love & War and The Sound of Glorious Marriage Music. These books can be reviewed and purchased at amazon.com. Select Books and type in “by Joe Ragland.”

How I’m dreaming for what God has given

My mother stood on the bottom stair while visiting recently and told me something that I should probably hang on my wall and frame: “I just had an emotional moment listening to you practice. The thing is, that you’ve been given everything that you have wanted. In so many ways it is small. And yet, it is BIG.”

From the outside I am, I suppose, a woman who has received everything most women dream of. But my story is not the story of a woman who got everything she ever dreamed. It’s a story of a woman who is learning to dream of what she has.

I grew up playing the piano and figured out at an early age that I could write songs. I chased dreams of becoming the next big Christian songwriter and ran from everything I knew to the little big town: Nashville. Instead of meeting open arms, as my 19-year-old self believed I should have received, I was met with deep wounds, competition like I had never witnessed, and a perpetual chorus of no’s. Life went on of course, and I licked my wounds, studied art, got married and started a family.

As the years went by, however, the resentment was bubbling. The Lord led us out of Nashville and into church ministry. I watched from afar as my friends went on to write hit songs and continue noteworthy creative careers. Meanwhile, I was thanklessly serving my church week in and week out, hidden behind the piano and covered in spit-

up for what felt like an endless season. And yet, this season of death, this winter of my creativity, has been the very thing that catalyzed my music. I wrote songs processing it all and began sharing them. Those songs gave me the voice and vision to become @thesongmom and to speak to other creatives with the words of encouragement I so desperately needed along the way. My marriage, our ministry, our children, weren’t in the way of my dreams – they were the fulfillment of them. I continue to know and believe with all of my heart that they are in fact the best gift from God. They are my best creative endeavor.

The contemporary Christian music industry may never know my name, but God does. We live in an entertained world. And there is often not much room for independent artists struggling to find a way to share their message. But God has found a way. He has transformed this mama of four into someone who is no longer shy or questioning. God gave me the gift of song, and so I sing. God gave me the gift of writing, and so I share. I do not hide it under a bushel. Nope. I let it shine.

But I don’t raise it up on my own accord. He does. Man plants the field, but the Lord chooses how He will grow it. Praise the LORD that the end game is ever in His hands. Praise the Lord that He slowed me down here and there. Praise the Lord that He didn’t give me what I “wanted” all those many years ago. And yet He has given me everything I need,

and truly everything I ever wanted. And to the world perhaps it may be small. But to me and to God, it is OH SO BIG.

So, who are you? Are you a butcher? A baker? A candlestick maker? Are you an executive or a stay-home mom? Whatever the Lord has given you, He has given you everything you need to glorify Him and reach the lost in your own corner of the world.

So go forth and don’t look back. Write that song. Tell that story. Bake that cake. Visit your neighbor. There is a line in a song I love, written by Andrew Peterson — he sings, “Lean into something lasting, planting trees … so many years from now, long after we are gone, these trees will spread their branches out and bless someone.”

Your seed may be underground. You may not see it yet, but He is doing a beautiful work in you. That work may feel like death for a season, but He promises, “He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it” (Philippians 1:6). And one day, we’ll be able to look at His completed work together, and it will be more beautiful than you ever dreamed. Y

Allie lives in Madison, where she serves in music ministry with her husband, Mike. Together they have four beautiful children. On the socials you can find her fostering artistic community as @thesongmom where she seeks to nurture creative souls by sharing life and light through music. Her music can be found on any digital streaming platform.

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If you aren’t sure whether you have a relationship with God or where you’ll go when you die, please don’t put this magazine down until you’ve read the following:

✝ THE PROBLEM

For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God. – Romans 3:23

For the wages of sin is death … – Romans 6:23a

The natural result and consequence of our sin is eternal death, or hell (Revelation 20:15), separated from God. This is because God is completely perfect and holy (Matthew 5:48), and His justice demands that sin be punished (Proverbs 11:21).

✝ THE SOLUTION

… but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. – Romans 6:23b

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Romans 5:8

Jesus Christ died in our place on the cross and took on the punishment for all our sins (Isaiah 53:4-6). Then God raised Him from the dead (John 20)!

HOW TO RECEIVE SALVATION

If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. – Romans 10:9

Trust in what Jesus has done for you — His death for your sins and His resurrection — and trust Him as Lord.

IS IT FOR ANYONE?

For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. – Romans 10:13

✝ THE RESULTS

Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. – Romans 5:1 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:38-39

WHAT TO DO NEXT

So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. – Romans 10:17

If you decided to trust in Jesus, grow in your faith by reading more of God’s Word in the Bible. We recommend the gospel of John (it comes just after Luke) as a good starting point — or Romans!

Finding a church close to you that teaches faith in Christ is another important step. It’s crucial to spend time with other believers so we can encourage each other in our faith.

If you have questions about anything on this page, please contact us at 601.896.1432, or send us a message on Facebook @MSChristianLiving, Instagram @mschristianmag or Twitter @MSChristLiving.

Dr. Alyssa Killebrew

‘SEK’ and you will find

From September 2020 to December 2021, Ridgeland psychologist Dr. Alyssa Killebrew lost her best friend, her unborn daughter, and her husband. While still grieving, she is celebrating new life — her son Keath Jr. was born less than a month after his father passed — and helping others via SEK Christian Therapeutic Intensives, a weeklong summer camp for adolescents that she and Keath Sr. started in 2021.

MCL Editor Katie Eubanks recently spoke with Alyssa and her niece, SEK camp director Sarah Sellers, about their own mental and spiritual journeys, and about how they hope SEK will help teens. The interview has been edited for space and clarity.

PHOTO BY STEGALL IMAGERY

Alyssa and Keath got married in Jamaica in 2003.

Alyssa with her children (from left) Keath Jr. and Vivian. “They look and act just like their daddy, so they will challenge me every day I’m sure.”

Katie Eubanks: Alyssa, how did you and Keath come to establish SEK?

Alyssa Killebrew: We created SEK after we lost our second daughter to COVID. When I was pregnant in 2020, a blood clot formed on my placenta after I contracted the virus. The baby did not survive. That was a couple of months after I’d lost my best friend. We named our daughter Sara Elizabeth in honor of my friend and my grandmother.

Keath and I attended a grief retreat. We came home wanting to extend what we had learned there. (Then WLBT news anchor) Maggie Wade called me (to interview me). I told her about this small seed (of an idea for the camp). Then Keath jumped on, and my friend Christy and (her husband) Chip encouraged us to do it as well.

We had our first SEK camp in 2021. SEK stands for our daughter Sara Elizabeth Killebrew, but it’s pronounced “seek,” as in “seek and you will find” (Matthew 7:7).

I think the most important lesson (I learned from the first SEK camp) was just that I don’t really believe people can heal fully without learning and believing in Jesus. I don’t. That has been a big pivotal point for me.

KE: Tell me about Keath’s accident later in 2021.

AK: Keath had traveled to Paraguay to meet with government leaders about teaching people how to farm in the Chaco region, this very fertile part of Paraguay that has no cotton farming. He died in a plane crash.

I initially was stuck on, “Why?” But I have had to change my “why” to “how.” God, how can I go on and live a good and pleasing life to You without my soulmate? I am discovering day by day that the “how” is much easier to understand when I lean on (Jesus).

We took a break from SEK last year, but I had to have Christy pull me back, because I was

going full speed. I needed time to put a team together. I lost 15 strong men when I lost Keath.

KE: Sarah, you’re the camp director for SEK. Tell me why you can relate to the kids who’ll be coming to this camp.

Sarah Sellers: I have struggled with mental health since I was very young. I come from a very good family. (But) I had a hard time fitting in. I had a hard time loving myself.

My first addiction started when I was 12, and it was cutting. (Eventually) I was drinking and using drugs daily. I had an eating disorder. I was still self-harming. I had no trust for my

parents. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

I wasn’t looking for a spiritual solution at 17. I wasn’t committed to stopping what I was doing. But I needed a break. I went to an inpatient treatment, New Beginnings in Opelousas, Louisiana.

I’ll never forget this girl (at treatment who) had a similar story to me. She had stopped drinking and doing drugs, and she was internally happy. I thought about her for the next few months. I thought, if she can be OK, I can too.

While I was (in treatment), I kept getting

SEK camp director Sarah Sellers, Alyssa’s niece, was recently baptized at Pinelake Church.

SEK will provide art therapy as a way to get campers “out of their heads,” Alyssa says.

Sara Elizabeth Killebrew’s tiny footprints.

Alyssa and Keath with Vivian.

Above, fun times on Alyssa’s back porch and (far right) in a room full of art and other mementos, including a scene Alyssa painted based on a photo Keath took.

PHOTOS BY STEGALL IMAGERY

these Easter eggs from people. (But) nobody tried to shove God down my throat. I just realized, I can start searching for a greater purpose. It’s not been easy since. (But) I’m five years into recovery (and) it’s better than I ever thought it could be.

I only recently found Christ. (When I was first searching for a higher power, I thought) maybe a plant is a greater power. … I don’t understand the ecosystem very well, so that’s a very powerful idea … And then it became agriculture, the universe, the universe and its people … (But eventually), I found Jesus.

KE: How did you respond when you found out about SEK?

SS: I jumped (into the camp). I was scheduled to do a lot of other things that week, but after the first day, I canceled it all.

It’s powerful to be dealing with mental health issues at 13, 15. I want to see the light come on for (the campers). My light (at first) was maybe, don’t punch your brother.

We’re not claiming this as a one-stop shop. (But we hope they’ll be) able to walk away and see, here’s my path. This is what I respond to, this is what I don’t.

AK: I think that we target young people, and we help them deal with their traumas at a young age, and maybe they don’t need mental health services later.

KE: Alyssa, tell me more about the mental health part of the SEK camp.

AK: You get 16 hours of therapy while you’re there. There will be licensed professional counselors who will be running the group therapy four times a day. And we’re going to group them according to their ages and genders. Thirteen- to 15-year-old females will be in a group, 15- to 17-year-old males…

For other volunteers, I have come up with a “Mental Health 101” workshop. And we went out to Tanglewood and did a training on that. I’m not asking (volunteers) who have no license to practice psychology, to be practicing psychology. But there are a lot of people who are in school (for psychology who will be helping in other ways).

One of the things we’re going to do is dialectical behavioral therapy, or DBT, which means learning how to hold the tension of two opposite states at the same time without getting polarized on one end. We can love and be angry at a person at the same time.

SEK will include plenty of outdoor activities for campers.

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KE: What are some of the other activities at SEK?

AK: We’ll do a morning devotion and give the participant an opportunity to think about what’s being offered. And they can talk about that. We have a volunteer who is a minister who is going to be teaching the biblical lessons. People in my faith family are really coming around to support me.

We’re going to be using the life of Jesus and how He suffered to teach about how to suffer well.

And then I envision we’ll do a yoga class, which is really just gentle stretching and getting into your body and being present, paying attention to what’s going on inside your body.

We’ll also have an art class, because art just heals. One way we know when patients are getting better is when they get creative and they’re able to get out of their head.

KE: How can a parent know if SEK is right for their child?

AK: This is the child who’s gone through a divorce, they’ve lost a parent, they’re struggling with anxiety, they have depression. (It’s) trauma, but not PTSD. I’ll know the difference. I’ll do evaluations with each family. And we plan to treat them up to six months after the camp.

This is not going to be your child who’s recently been diagnosed with acute schizophrenia or an uncontrolled mood disorder. They need a higher level of care.

KE: Is the camp open to non-Christian families?

AK: It would actually be great if someone who’s a nonbeliever came, and we were able to introduce them to who Jesus is. We are going to be teaching Christianity. (But) we are open to any child who is suffering.

We’re going to start really small. Forty-eight children ages 13 to 17.

KE: What else do parents need to know about SEK?

AK: For the beginning of the camp, I’ve already created a video for the parents. I preface by saying, “I’m a flawed parent. I don’t even begin to know what you’ve been through as a parent of a teenager. But here’s what I’ve

learned clinically.” I know your kids need you to admit when you’re wrong. I give parents homework to do during the week while their child is (at SEK).

Another thing I want parents to know is, there will be round-the-clock prayer happening for the staff, the kids and the parents during the camp.

Then the last day is a family day. I don’t want to give it away, but we have a really special ceremony for the parents that we did (in 2021). There were some children that didn’t have a parent there, so we chose someone who could be a surrogate parent.

KE: Sarah, as someone who struggled at a young age and is on the other side, how would you encourage parents of teens who are struggling?

SS: One day they will be thanked by their child. … If they feel in their heart (that a certain person or program) would help, it’s important to try everything. I thank my mother every day for putting me in a camp.

KE: Looking back over the last three years, Alyssa, what is the biggest thing you feel God has taught you?

AK: I have not had a day where I didn’t want to be here, where I just didn’t want to live because my soulmate was gone. But it’s because I have a foundation and a strong rocket of a faith and knowledge that I am saved and that Jesus is — He is just in my heart. And I just know that He is going to walk me through this.

That’s something that’s really important for me to say out loud. That is what I’ve learned, is that I need to say that more. Y

Alyssa and Sarah at Alyssa’s office. Keath Sr. with Vivian.

Keath was a talented artist.

Libbo and Clay Crosswhite

Keep it real, keep it simple

When Libbo Crosswhite thinks of Valentine’s Day, she thinks of when Clay, her now husband, brought her roses in eighth grade.

“He made sure to tell me there were only 11 and they were on sale.”

The following year, when all their classmates at Madison-Ridgeland Academy were saying “I love you” to each other, Libbo and Clay were sitting on the swings at Strawberry Patch Park, and Clay asked if they could talk.

“I thought, ‘This is it!’” Libbo says. “Then he said, ‘I don’t love you … I don’t even know what love is.’”

“We didn’t leave that day on good terms,” Clay says.

But now Libbo appreciates that even at 15, he was honest with her. “He is who he says he is.”

That same authenticity still marks Clay, a physical therapist at Mississippi Sports Medicine, and Libbo, high-school guidance counselor at MRA. They don’t use all the perfect Instagram filters, pretend to be a perfect couple, or sprint to keep up with trends.

“God gives us the freedom to be normal,” Libbo says. “It’s really beautiful to just have a simple life.”

‘You should marry that guy’

Clay grew up in Philadelphia, Mississippi, and was dedicated in the Methodist church at 8 years old. When she was 7, Libbo lost her father to brain cancer, an event that would shape her for decades to come.

A few years later, when Clay was in sixth grade, his family moved to Brandon. He and Libbo met at MRA.

“I still remember walking into Mrs. Steveline’s English class and seeing Clay and thinking, ‘Who is that kid?’” Libbo recalls. “He said ‘yaller’ instead of ‘yellow.’”

They dated all through high school, did everything together. Along the way, they both started pursuing a real relationship with Jesus. Finally, it was time for college.

“I think one thing that saved our relationship was the fact that she went to Mississippi State, and I went to Mississippi College,” Clay says.

“She got a whole friend group who knew her as Libbo, separate from me, (and vice versa). Because we were always ‘Libbo and Clay’ (before that). I don’t think we would’ve married each other if we’d gone to the same college.”

“Absolutely not,” Libbo agrees. “We were able to be who God wanted us to be separately.”

Freshman year was “very difficult” for Clay, he says. “We were apart, I

was trying to find my friend group. (But) I got plugged into FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes), and the leader at the time was Bill Buckley, who was a huge influence on me … as I got older and matured in my faith. That was a turning point.” Meanwhile, Libbo also drew closer to Christ via Reformed University Fellowship at Mississippi State.

While their relationships with Jesus were maturing, their long-distance relationship with each other was tough. They broke up during their junior year.

Soon after the breakup, “my friends and I got a wild hair to come to the Jackson fair,” Libbo says. The group drove to Jackson and parked at the Waffle House on High Street, across from the fairgrounds. “We didn’t know you weren’t allowed to park there. There was a sign, but it was really small.”

After the fair, the vehicle had been towed. Nobody had the cash to get the car back, and nobody wanted to call their parents, who were blissfully ignorant of their kids’ shenanigans.

Ultimately, Libbo called Clay. Her recent ex-boyfriend.

“So Clay drives from Clinton to Jackson, takes the cash out of his

Clockwise from top left: Clay, Libbo, Mary Thomas and Russell Crosswhite.

Even after 11 years of marriage, “We’re still figuring it out,” Libbo says.

birthday card — ”

“From my grandmother,” he adds.

“And afterward, one of my friends goes, ‘I don’t know a lot … but you should marry that guy.’”

After about six months apart, Libbo and Clay went to Fratesi’s restaurant in Ridgeland, and he said, “If we get back together, we’re never breaking up.”

Neither of them remembers when they first said “I love you” –but when they said it that night at Fratesi’s, it was “the first time I remember it being the real deal and meaning forever!” Libbo recalls.

Role models and grill explosions

When Libbo and Clay got married, “I didn’t just gain a husband, I gained a dad, too,” Libbo recalls. “Clay’s dad truly has been my dad since high school, for all intents and purposes.

“His parents have played a crucial role in us seeing what it looks like to have a God-fearing, real marriage.”

The Crosswhites are also grateful for other families they’ve seen in action. When Libbo was a kid, her Young Life leader Jan Moncrief would always get a kiss on the cheek from her husband when he got in from work — even when she had a dozen girls with her in the living room.

Of course, every couple has their struggles. It’s not all kisses on the cheek.

“One thing we are learning right now is … we can find ourselves avoiding difficult conversations,” Libbo says. She shares another anecdote: Libbo was preparing to host a shower at their home. Clay said he’d clean up the backyard, but they didn’t talk about exactly what that meant, and he didn’t do it to her satisfaction. (“The shower was inside,” he points out during the retelling.)

“So I went out there, and I saw some ant spray and some other stuff on the porch, and I just put it in the grill and closed the lid, and thought, I’ll put that away later,” Libbo says. “And we didn’t talk about it.”

The next day, Clay came home from a duck hunt and offered to make duck poppers on the grill. Libbo enthusiastically agreed. He turned on the grill …

“And then I hear this explosion, and I’m like, ‘What was that?’ And almost immediately, I realized what I had done,” she says.

Clay’s friends had gotten him some grilling tools made of deer antlers. The tools technically “survived” the explosion, but they were never the same.

“He left the house (when that happened). It was a whole thing,” Libbo says. “But that was just a really funny example of how you can’t keep stuffing (hard conversations) under the grill … or it’s going to blow up in your face.”

She and Clay say community with other Christian couples is also crucial for making marriage work, as is putting God at the center of decisions and trusting Him for the outcome. After all, He’s used every situation for good — from the Crosswhite family’s move to Brandon, to Libbo and Clay attending different colleges.

At the end of the day, they’ve got to live with each other — two flawed humans with a sin nature. But they know God will keep using everything to make them more like Him.

“I think (it’s about) giving both of ourselves grace,” Libbo says. “We’re still trying to figure it out.” Y

The family cheering for Mississippi State, Libbo’s alma mater.

Libbo and Clay first met in sixth grade at MadisonRidgeland Academy. Now their kids attend MRA, and Libbo is the high-school guidance counselor.

Do you know that you know?

Jesus loves me! this I know, For the Bible tells me so; Little ones to Him belong; They are weak, but He is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me, Yes, Jesus loves me, Yes, Jesus loves me, The Bible tells me so.

(Words by Anna B. Warner, 1820-1915; music by William B. Bradbury, 1816-1868. Public domain.)

Sometimes I wonder how many times I have done something without thinking about it. For example, how many times have I sung “Jesus Loves Me”? Let me try to calculate: almost every night before my four children went to bed, singing in the vehicle while we traveled country roads, Vacation Bible School, Bible camps, mission trips, and now for my grandchildren.

There is no way I can compute the total. But I know it is several thousand times, and I’m still singing the song.

Hymns of love

I also enjoy singing hymns about God’s love for me. Open a hymn book, go to the topical index, and look for the word “love.” You will find more than a hundred. Great hymn writers have written beautiful theologically sound prose, based upon scripture, about the amazing love of God.

Here are a couple of examples (public domain):

• “What Wondrous Love is This” by Rev. George Matheson

• “I am His, and He is Mine” by George Wade Robinson

• “O Love That Wilt Not Let Me Go,” by Rev. George Matheson

And then there are hymns about our love for God. For example, “More Love to Thee, O Christ” by Elizabeth Prentiss. This hymn is known as a prayer song. “More love to Thee, O Christ, more love to Thee! Hear Thou the prayer I make on bended knee; This is my earnest plea: More love, O Christ, to Thee.” Should this not be our daily prayer? I’m putting it on my hymn-to-memorize list this year. What about you?

Focus on His love

Last year one of my goals was to read a different devotional book each month, such as “31 Days Toward Passionate Faith” by Joni Eareckson Tada, “31 Proverbs to Light Your Path” by Liz Curtis Higgs, and several by Ruth Myers.

This year, for February I’ve pulled “31 Days of Drawing Near to God: Resting Securely in His Delight,” by Ruth Myers, to reread. (Consider purchasing a copy.) I don’t think I’ve ever read a complete book, based on scripture, about the love of God.

As Ms. Myers unfolds her story, she shares how “God began to deepen my appreciation for His love through ‘The Love of God,’ a song made famous by George Beverly Shea. This song describes God’s love as ‘greater far than tongue or pen can ever tell.’ If the skies were a scroll and the oceans filled with ink, the song says, and if every stalk on earth were a writing quill, we still could never write in full this love God has for us. The skies could not contain it. The oceans of ink would run dry.”

As I made my way through the devotional, I gained a new comprehension of how much

God loves me. Scriptures describing His amazing love overwhelmed my heart. Gratitude flooded my soul. He knows. He understands. He cares. He is compassionate. No person on this earth loves me more than God. And the same is true for you.

No greater love

If I want to know about Jesus’ love for me, I must first go to the Word. The New Testament references three types of love:

• Eros – intimate love (1 Corinthians 7:5; Hebrews 13:4).

• Philio – brotherly love, friendship, a warm affection (John 11:3, 36; John 20:2).

• Agape – the sacrificial, unconditional love of God.

One familiar verse that speaks of “agape” is John 3:16 –

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. (NKJV)

He stretched out His arms on the cross, paying the penalty of sin so everyone might have eternal life. There is no greater love!

No matter our age, season of life or circumstances, we must remember, “Jesus loves me.” Not because of anything you or I have done, but because of God’s redemptive love plan. And because of His great love for you and me, He gives us a choice to have His love written on our hearts.

Can you sing with me, “Jesus loves me, this I know”? Y

Laura Lee Leathers loves to touch lives and encourage others through words and biblical hospitali-tea. She is an award-winning freelance writer, encouragement coach and speaker, and a contributing writer for several newspapers, magazines and online publications. Connect with her at LauraLeeLeathers.com or laura.l.leathers@gmail.com, or join her Facebook group, “Teacups, Mugs, and Friends.”

CUT OUT THE SCRIPTURES AND QUOTES AND PLACE THEM AROUND YOUR HOME FOR DAILY ENCOURAGEMENT!

But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.

~ ROMANS 5:8, NLT

We love because he first loved us.

~ 1 JOHN 4:19, NIV

And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

~ ROMANS 5:5, NLT

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

~ GALATIANS 5:22-23, ESV

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud.

~ 1 CORINTHIANS 13:4, NLT

Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.

~ ROMANS 12:9, KJV

For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.

~ JOHN 3:16, NLT

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

~ ROMANS 8:38-39, NIV

That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.

~ EPHESIANS 3:17-19, KJV

And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.

~ 2 JOHN 1:6, NIV

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

~ EPHESIANS 4:2, NIV

Love worketh no ill to his neighbor: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.

~ ROMANS 13:10, KJV

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