FREE JUNE 2011
Enjoy Good Health...Stay Well
BEST GIFTS FOR DAD CREATIVE COUPONING Soup, Salad & Sandwich...Yum
See what everyone is talking about! ✻ Fabulous Activities ✻ Beautiful Surroundings ✻ New Found Friendships ✻ Fine Dining Sunnybrook Estates is a strictly rental independent living retirement community offering spacious apartment living. Low monthly rates with NO long-term lease or buy in required. Rent includes meals, housekeeping, transportation, activities, on-site movie theatre, central heat & air in each apartment and more!
To inquire about Sunnybrook Estates
CALL 601-856-4050 2 4 8 L O C U S T L A N E • M A D I S O N , M S 3 9 11 0 2 JUNE 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living
Get the most out of your apps with the Smartphone Unlimited Plan.
TM
Samsung Galaxy S
Smartphone Unlimited Plan Talk • Text • Email • Web Unlimited
5999
$
Price per line when you have two.
Contact your Account Executive or Assist for Business for details 1-877-CSOUTH2 (276-8842) cellularsouth.com/business assistforbusiness@cellularsouth.com Dial #232 from your Cellular South phone Customers participating in these plans must reside in the Regional/Primary Area which is defined as the Cellular South Network in MS and generally in and surrounding Memphis/West Memphis, AR/nearby West TN; Mobile and Baldwin Counties in AL; and Escambia, Santa Rosa, Okaloosa and Walton Counties in FL. Participation in third-party text messaging contests or promotions, and the purchase of third-party content may result in additional charges on your bill above and beyond standard messaging rates. Certain restrictions, taxes and/or fees may apply. Visit cellularsouth.com or see store for complete details on phones, plans and offers. All trademarks and trade names are the property of their respective owners. ©2011 Cellular South, Inc. All rights reserved.
contents JUNE 2011
metro ®
columns 9 Outside In The essential father is kind
12 Salt & Light Summer camp with a mission
14 HomeWorks Creative couponing
24 Modern Motherhood The gender game
25 Let’s Talk it Over God’s power and presence in marriage
26 Single Still, Single Again It’s all about perspective
feature
20
27 Chasing Solomon Man enough to be a mature father?
Martin Willoughby
34 Legal Advice
Focused Fathering
31
Nursing home medicaid “fact”—true or false?
Prince of Thieves
35 Mars & Venus
Pornography
Our daddy
departments
25
11 Money Talks Tax credits for college costs
15 Living my Call Time is important for fathers
28
16 Christian Commerce Center Sunnybrook Estates
17 Special Delivery First time Father’s Day
18 Welcome Home Outdoor spaces
28 Food For Thought
18
9
Soup, salad & sandwich
32 Fresh Finds Gift ideas for Father’s Day
33 Healthy Living Enjoy good health...stay well
36 Rave Reviews Books, movies and music
➺ 4 JUNE 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living
What’s Coming Next Month? Art & Soul
in every issue 6 37 38 38
Editor’s Letter Event Calendar Quips & Quotes Ad Directory
Volume 6, Number 1 Publisher: MHS Publications, Inc., Member, M.I.P.A. Editor: Marilyn Tinnin marilyn@metrochristianliving.com Associate Editor: Christi B. Steckel christi@metrochristianliving.com Administrative Assistant: Carol Rodgers carol@metrochristianliving.com Art Direction/Graphic Design Sandra K. Goff Graphic Production Assistant Kate Thomas Sales Marilyn Tinnin, Christi B. Steckel, Heather May, Jen Sampson Contributing Writers: Chris Bates, Lydia Bolen, Danny Chancellor, Tracie Dupuy, Cathy Haynie, William B. Howell, Heather May, Mike McDade, Robin O’Bryant, Dr. Sam Peeples, Susan E. Richardson, Betsy Smith, Scot Thigpen, Mike Traylor, John Wiggins Cover Photography Stegall Imagery Distribution Assistants: Laura Blackledge, Kim Roberts, Carol Rodgers, Rachel Schulte, Jerri Strickland, Priscilla Sullivan, Tim Waldon, Bob Whatley
Metro Christian Living is committed to encouraging individuals in their daily lives by presenting the faith stories of others and by providing information that will point every person, at every stage of life, to a deeper, authentic, personal, and life changing encounter with Jesus Christ. Views expressed in Metro Christian Living do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. Every effort has been made by the Metro Christian Living staff to insure accuracy of the publication contents. However, we do not guarantee the accuracy of all information nor the absence of errors and omissions; hence, no responsibility can be or is assumed. All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2008 by Metro Christian Living, Inc. Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of International Bible Society.
Metro Christian Living is published monthly and is available at high traffic locations throughout the metropolitan area. Copies are also available by subscription, $29 for one year. Single issues available for $3 an issue. POSTMASTER: Send change of address to Metro Christian Living, 573 Highway 51 North, Suite C, Ridgeland, MS 39157, phone number 601-790-9076.
M I P A Mississippi Independent Publishers' Alliance
ST. CATHERINE’S VILLAGE
NEW GARDEN HOMES ~ NEWLY REFURBISHED INDEPENDENT APARTMENTS ALZHEIMER’S ASSISTED LIVING ASSISTED LIVING ~ SKILLED NURSING CARE WE CURRENTLY HAVE LIMITED AVAILABILITY IN ASSISTED LIVING & INDEPENDENT LIVING.
5HWLUHPHQW OLYLQJ DW 6W &DWKHULQH¶V 9LOODJH RIIHUV ¿UVW FODVV VHUYLFHV DQG DPHQLWLHV \RX QHHG WR FRQWLQXH OLYLQJ \RXU YLEUDQW LQGHSHQGHQW OLIHVW\OH±SOXV WKH PRVW FRPSOHWH SODQ IRU \RXU IXWXUH WKURXJK WKH VROLG ¿QDQFLDO SURWHFWLRQ RI RXU /LIH &DUH SURJUDP 6KRXOG \RX HYHU QHHG FDUH \RX¶OO KDYH JXDUDQWHHG DFFHVV WR RQ VLWH KHDOWK FHQWHU VHUYLFHV DW SUHGLFWDEOH PRQWKO\ FRVWV IRU WKH UHVW RI \RXU OLIH &DOO WRGD\ WR VFKHGXOH D FRPSOLPHQWDU\ OXQFK DQG WRXU /HW XV VKRZ \RX KRZ VHFXUH UHWLUHPHQW OLYLQJ ZDV PHDQW WR EH
200 DOMINICAN DRIVE, MADISON, MS 39110 601.856.0123 OR TOLL-FREE 800.223.0809 village@stdom.com stcatherinesvillage.com
6W &DWKHULQH¶V 9LOODJH LV 0LVVLVVLSSL¶V RQO\ UHWLUHPHQW FRPPXQLW\ DFFUHGLWHG E\ WKH &RQWLQXLQJ &DUH $FFUHGLWDWLRQ &RPPLVVLRQ
➺editor’s letter Do I Look Like My Father?
O
Then God said, ❝ “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness…”
❞
– Genesis 1:26
once when, along with about ten other little people, my children were invited to swim at a friend’s backyard pool. As a parade of little girls arrived, I had so much fun guessing who their parents were since I had grown up with many of them. The family traits were, in some instances, so remarkable that it could not have been more obvious if their names had been tattooed on their foreheads! Family resemblances fascinate me. My grandson looks so much like his dad that I never quite get over this odd feeling that I have seen this baby before! I have to stop and think before I call his name. When God’s word tells us we are created in His image, I can barely get my mind around that thought. Because He has breathed into us soul and spirit, we are capable of a relationship with Him and with others—deep, meaningful, and eternal relationship. My earthly father has been gone for 32 years. I was only 27 years old when he died, and yet, his impact on my life was so great that in many ways, it is as though he is still here. I know the values he believed in, the principles he stood for, and the Savior he trusted. And best of all, I know my father loved me. My father is, indeed, always part of me. My son Lem with his look In talking to Martin Willoughby for this month’s cover story, I alike son, Sutton. loved watching the dynamics in his family. There was an unmistakable “My daddy is my hero” look on the faces of Ally and Trey Willoughby as they told me all the things they love about their father. Martin’s goal of “finishing strong” in the journey of life involves leaving a legacy of Christ followers who resemble, not only their earthly father, but the heavenly father they have learned to love by watching their dad. Summer living is here. Get your patio perked up for outdoor entertaining by taking a lead from our Welcome Home section. Flip over to Food for Thought and Lydia’s recipes will make entertaining a snap. I don’t think I have mentioned lately that you can always find more recipes on her blog at www.lydiasapron.blogspot.com. Robin O’Bryant (Modern Motherhood) finds herself defending her honor when her five-yearold tells her that Daddy is smarter than Momma. Hilarious, as usual, but oh so dear as she counts the ways she appreciates the man her daughters call “Daddy.” Welcome to the Mega-Dad issue. If you are a dad, there is something here for you. The resources this month are outstanding. From books to an array of “man” topics, we are all about honoring and encouraging our fathers. Yours is a daunting task in this modern day. God bless you, everyone! Y
6 JUNE 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living
ne of the first questions friends ask when a new baby arrives is,“Who does he look like?”. I recall being back in hometown Indianola for a weekend
Marilyn H. Tinnin, Publisher and Editor marilyn@metrochristianliving.com
From Marilyn’s Bookshelf A Resilient Life By Gordon MacDonald
A great read for adults at any age but especially meaningful for those who hit mid-life and want to find the answer to that haunting question. “What am I going to do for the rest of my life?” If you are looking to make the second half as meaningful as the first half, grab this book. I just love Gordon MacDonald’s heart.
Pack for Success! Clinton Public Schools In Clinton, we give our full attention to the formative elementary school years. Educational programs foster the academic, social and emotional growth of all children. Our dedicated teachers encourage students to make discoveries RQ WKHLU RZQ SURYLGLQJ WKHP ZLWK WKH FRQÂżGHQFH they need to progress to higher levels of learning. Come see for yourself. For more information, please visit our website.
www.clintonms.org
Shade - where & when you need it.
LANDSCAPE & MAINTENANCE County Line Rd at Pear Orchard, Ridgeland, MS
Over 55 years of service
WWW CALLAWAYSONLINE COM s 601-957-1731 metrochristianliving.com â?˜ JUNE 2011 7
Trustmark Mobile Banking. Goes where you go. New iPad app now available! ®
ADV E NTUR E J OU R NA L
ME
16 uuu
ENTRY Today, I Wherever you go, you can now take Trustmark Bank with you. With Trustmark Mobile Banking, you can use your phone or iPad® to transfer funds, check balances, make payments and more. Banking has never been more convenient. Trustmark Mobile Banking is exclusively for Trustmark Online Banking customers. So if you’re not yet banking online with Trustmark, our Mobile Banking is a great reason to start. To find out more, visit trustmark.com or any Trustmark office today.
ju
umped, danced,’
explored, climbed, played, discovered, fished, dug, and painted. Then, I juuuuumped some more. That,s why MCM is my Destination Imagination.
mschildrensmuseum.com
People you trust.
This project is partially funded through a grant from Jackson Convention & Visitors Bureau.
Advice that works. trustmark.com
8 JUNE 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living
Member FDIC
by CHRIS BATES
➺
outside in
The Essential Father is Kind bet that I’ve seen more than a thousand sunrises and sunsets at my Dad’s side out in the woods and the duck blind over our years together. I was most greatly influenced, though, by his conduct back here in the real world of daily life. Far longer and more often than I can remember I have heard “Oh, he is the kindest man that I know,” and “He is just the greatest guy.” From my boyhood to teen years and well into adulthood, countless people have told me that my father is one of most kind, generous, and caring souls that they know. In this our modern society of bad influences and bombardment of negative role models, I have been blessed to be raised by the best. My father has not only spoken well and been spoken well of, but more importantly he has shown me through his actions and interactions just how a kind man should live. Max Lucado tells us that “People are watching the way we act more than they are listening to what we say.” This is true of parenthood and particularly so of fatherhood. As a young boy, I would walk down the street in downtown Jackson holding Dad’s hand. We stopped to speak to what seemed like every person we met and Dad asked about their spouse, their kids, and perhaps their favorite team—all by name. In short, he taught me to have sincere interest in others and all aspects of their lives. He showed my brother and me how a man should treat his wife, his family, friends, and acquaintances. He taught us how to respect our fellow man. To this day he exudes a kindness unmatched by any other I have met. He taught us kindness as a principle for life. C.S. Lewis in The Problem of Pain teaches us that “Kindness, merely as such, cares not whether its object become good or bad, provided only
I
that it escapes suffering.” This kind of guidance by a father in our toxic culture is vital while it is selfless, unassuming, and divinely guided, and the great degree of it we can learn and in turn teach. I look at my own and feel a love and desire to guide well that is so pure that only God could have created that awareness. For my child, I seek to reflect the kindness that I have been taught so that she can carry it to the world around her. We, as fathers, are challenged to provide essential guidance that only we as men can give to our children. Mothers, too, have their own essential roles. “What you say in a sentence, communicate with a smile, or do with regard to family rules has infinite importance to your daughter (or son)” says Meg Meeker, M.D. in Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters. Our children are watching, are hungry for guidance, and what better than kindness? Think of the men and women around you, raised by strong spiritual fathers, and the proof is usually quite evident. Our Divine Father demonstrates for us kindnesses and grace beyond our human comprehension. What better role model? We are directed in Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” I have been trained and instructed in grace and kindness, and now have the opportunity to pass that along in daily actions. Thank you, Dad. I love you. Happy Father’s Day. Y Chris is president of Agora Company, LLC, a marketing, business strategy and advertising company based in Ridgeland, and can be reached at Chris@AgoraCompany.com. He and his daughter, Anna Catherine, live in Jackson. metrochristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2011 9
-- 2089 Lakeland Dr., Jackson, Mississippi
W W W.T I N N I N I M P O R T S .C O M
10 JUNE 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living
money talks by TRACIE B. DUPUY
TAX CREDITS
for College Costs
If you are a dad with college-bound children, tuition increases are probably weighing heavily on your mind. Fortunately, the IRS is providing some relief through tax credits. One of the biggest IRS benefits is the American Opportunity Credit. The “Tax Relief, Unemployment Insurance Reauthorization and Job Creation Act of 2010” includes a two-year extension of the American Opportunity Tax Credit for college costs. The credit both increases tax relief available for students from middleincome families, and extends relief, for the first time, to students from lower-income families. Families with a college student can benefit from a tax credit for more than just tuition costs. The credit covers an expanded list of qualifying expenses which includes fees and books. Qualifying expenses do not include insurance, medical expenses, room and board, or transportation. The student must be pursuing an undergraduate degree or other recognized education credential. Also, they must be enrolled at least half-time for at least one academic period that begins during the tax year, and they cannot have any felony drug convictions on their record. From a taxpayer’s point of view, a credit is almost always preferable to a deduction, because a credit reduces taxes owed, while a deduction only reduces taxable income. The maximum amount of the American Opportunity Credit is $2,500. The credit is 100% of the first $2,000 of qualifying expenses and 25% of the next $2,000. The maximum credit of $2,500 is reached when a student has qualifying expenses of $4,000 or more. The American Opportunity Credit is a refundable credit of up to 40%. This means that someone who would qualify for the maximum credit of $2,500, but has no tax liability to offset that credit, would qualify for a
refund of $1,000 (40% of $2,500). Taxpayers with somewhat higher incomes can qualify for the American Opportunity Credit, as the phaseout of the credit begins at AGI in excess of $80,000 ($160,000 for joint filers). Another benefit of the credit is that distributions from a Coverdell education savings account or other type of qualifying college savings account for the same student, does not reduce the amount of the credit, as long as the distribution is not used for the same education expense as the American Opportunity Credit was used. However, scholarships, employer-provided education assistance, veterans’ educational assistance, and Pell grants reduce the amount of expenses that can be used in computing the tax credits. College expenses paid with student loans do not reduce the expenses used to calculate the credit. For the computation, any amounts paid by student loans are considered paid by the taxpayer. When student loans are paid back, the interest is an above-the-line deduction (meaning that it’s available even to taxpayers who do not itemize). The maximum deduction is $2,500. For 2011, the deduction phases out for taxpayers who are married filing jointly with an adjusted gross income between $120,000 and $150,000 ($60,000 and $75,000 for single filers.) To determine if you qualify for the American Opportunity Credit or to see if other tuition credits, deductions, or college savings plans would be better suited to you, contact your CPA or Attorney for an analysis of your individual situation. Y Tracie B. Dupuy, CPA is a Manager at Grantham, Poole, Randall, Reitano, Arrington & Cunningham, PLLC. Ridgeland, Mississippi 39157. tdupuy@granthampoole.com.
Keeping You in Hot Water.
Call us for plumbing, too.
Environment Masters, the name you trust to keep you cool, is now happy to handle your home plumbing needs as well. Our plumbing team has 50+ years of combined experience serving the metro Jackson area. Tap our expertise for: • Hot water heaters (regular & tankless) • Drain cleaning & unclogging • Bath & kitchen remodels • New construction • Gas pipe Plumbing 601.353.4681 • www.environmentmasters.com
Environment MASTERS
24-hour on-call service, 7 days a week • Hinds, Madison, Rankin Counties metrochristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2011 11
➺salt & light by MARILYN TINNIN
Summer Camp with a MISSION In the summer of 2010 they launched a “camp,” as lizabeth Perkins grew up with a a sort of experiment—for themselves as well as the missionary mindset. How could she not? girls who came. Could they put together a curriculum As the daughter of John Perkins, a world that not only engaged the girls but made a difference? renowned civil rights activist whose message They put much time and prayer into exactly what the was all about the gospel example, love, and issues discussed would be. Jesus, she learned early on to give and to They also spent much time serve. She spent a decade as Director of the John figuring out creative ways to Perkins Foundation giving her time, talent, and soul make it all fun while to helping families in west Jackson find the path to teaching life principles. independence, accountability, and faith in the New Horizon Church in promises of Jesus Christ. But her heart has always Jackson signed on to help pulled her toward the needs and with the endeavor. Pastor dreams of young girls. She knows Ronnie Crudup’s daughter their insecurities and their fears. went through the first event. She also knows their potential, He was so impressed he and it was this thought that was contacted Elizabeth and forever ruminating in her mind. asked her to do it again. Her She has always felt called to a passion is right there and she particular ministry, and here at is so willing. mid-life with decades of experience Angela Hudson, under her belt she has launched something that Elizabeth’s close friend is her passion and her true calling. whose passion runs in the She-ciples (www.watchingyoubloom.com) is a same direction says, “Our unique ministry for girls ages 12-19, who want prayer is that we can help to grow strong in their faith, live for the Lord these girls see themselves and disciple others. It’s all about relationship as the Lord sees them. He and mentoring with an age group considered validates them. We want high risk. This is the group least likely to them to know you don’t participate in after school or summer programs. need to be valedictorian to Research says they receive little guidance and be worthy. When you know are prone to struggle with peer pressure, family who you are in the Lord, issues, identity crisis and issues associated with The highlight of the She-ciple camp is the “Purity Ball.” The girls you can function in the making the transition to womanhood. have made a commitment to stay pure until marriage. world just fine. We want to All of this information is no secret to be sure these girls know Elizabeth. Over the years, working in ministry what love is…and what love is not.” she has seen it all up close. But the reality of it had been burdening The cost of the camp is $200. For many worthy and precious girls, Elizabeth for a while. When her close friend Angela Hudson this is impossible. Angela and Elizabeth are seeking sponsors who will happened to voice the very same concerns, Elizabeth thought this invest in the life and future of a promising young woman. If you can might just be a God thing. Having a partner makes all things stronger. help, contact Elizabeth at 601-238-2073. Y It was true in this case.
E
Buy a
BRUNSWICK POOL TABLE and get $1600
FREE Merchandise (Valid through Father’s Day)
CD or IRA Maturing bout Ask us a
4-8%
e ed Incom Guarante ider Growth R
660 Ridgewood Rd. • Ridgeland, MS • 601-853-7777
www.gameroom-gallery.com Monday – Saturday: 10:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m
“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” – JOSHUA 24:15 12 JUNE 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living
Learn about a safe investment that beats low bank rates & avoid probate
O’MIRE AGENCY 406 Orchard Park, Ridgeland, MS 39158 Call today!
800.844.3254
School is out, summer’s here again! NOW, the fun can REALLY begin! More time for horses at Pop’s farm! (Sure won’t have to twist MY arm! ;) More time to swim with friends at the pool! It’s so GREAT to be out of school! And, church camps and VBS, too! Goodness, I have so MUCH to do!! Then we’ll go on vacations and have a blast! Oh, Lord, why can’t summertime last?
Step up to OluKai.
Eugene C. Brown, Jr., D.D.S., M.S., P.A. www.dreugenebrown.com 125 Jones Street • Madison, MS 39110 • 601-853-0303 5800 Ridgewood Road, Suite 103 • Jackson, MS 39211 • 601-957-1711 Visit us on Facebook at Dr. Brown’s SMILES BY DESIGN “The American Dental Association recommends that a child see an orthodontist by age seven.” MEMBER OF THE AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF ORTHODONTISTS
100 Mannsdale Park Drive | Madison, Mississippi | 601-856-3131
circle7online.com
The Physicians of Premier Medical Group of Mississippi Proudly Announce the Association of William D. Frazier, M.D. and
Rajesh G. Patel, M.D. in the Practice of Pulmonary Medicine Drs. Frazier and Patel are Available by Appointment.
ij Premier Medical Group of Mississippi Premier Sleep Disorders Center Premier Rehabilitation Center Premier Endoscopy Center of Jackson
501 Marshall Street • Jackson, Mississippi 39202
601-352-2273 metrochristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2011 13
➺homeworks by CATHY HAYNIE
Creative Couponing
✂
TLC’s new show, Extreme Couponing, left me curious. Could
you really buy $1,000 worth of groceries for less than $100 in one trip? I wanted to know, and thus began the experiment! Starting online (with 300,000 search results to choose from) it became clear that couponing is not just using a coupon here and there to save a buck; there is an art to couponing, and yes, with coupons and time I can cut my grocery bill in half or more without being extreme. UNDERSTANDING THE PREMISE OF COUPONING
www.couponsthingsbydede.com and www.thecouponclippers.com
Couponing is about buying products before your family needs them and buying them at a significantly reduced cost. This is accomplished by “stacking” a great store sale with a manufacturer’s coupon (and sometimes a store coupon too). Buying as many of these sale items matched with coupons as you can results in what is most commonly called a “stockpile”. Each week shop with two lists, items you need for the week and items you will buy at greatly reduced prices to add to your stockpile.
3.
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW TO GET STARTED Find a couponing website you like.
1.
You will learn more, and these sites do a lot of the deal finding for you. Couponing can be time consuming, so stick to just one or two sites, such as: www.bargainbriana.com, www.thekrazycouponlady.com, www.weusecoupons.com
2.
Know where to find coupons and clip them all. Buy several papers each Sunday
and use couponing websites to help you find more online. Serious couponers clip every coupon they see and typically organize them in a binder. Coupons can even be ordered through EBay or a clipping service, such as:
14 JUNE 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living
Increase your store preference and decrease your brand loyalty. Not a
drug store shopper? (After all the prices are high, right?) Drugstores offer great sales that match well with coupons. Kroger will double some coupons. Wal-Mart does not offer weekly sales like a grocery store though they price match. Target offers sales and has store coupons available online (which can be paired with manufacturer’s coupons). Warehouse stores don’t fit well into the concept of couponing. Choose a few stores- utilizing them all turns into extreme time. Also, regardless of brand, couponers are looking for deals. When you can get a product for free, it’s a great time to try something new.
4.
Set aside time. On the TLC show I was
hearing scary things like, “40 hours per week” or “every waking moment.” While my experiment verified that couponing for serious savings does take time, you can still save at least 50% off your total grocery budget with three blocks of time: clipping and organizing coupons, planning your store deals, and shopping.
5.
Build your stockpile. TLC Extreme
Couponing boasts entire garages, bonus rooms, and basements for stockpiling. Not realistic? Clean out your linen closet (even place
Build your stockpile.
linens in under-the-bed storage boxes) and straighten up areas like your pantry, laundry room, and bathrooms to create space. Once you begin to acquire bargains, your supply on hand will improve and allow your needs list to shrink. In 3 to 6 months, you should see significant change to your grocery budget and boast a stockpile that serves as your own mini store.
More couponing tips next month! If you are interested in hosting a coupon class for your group, email me for details at chaynie@ccs.ms
Y
Cathy Haynie and her husband Jack have three children and live in Madison. Cathy is the Headmaster of Christ Covenant School in Ridgeland. She occasionally speaks to groups on Honoring God in the Home, Managing the Busy Life, and Balancing Work and Home. Contact her at chaynie@christcovenantschool.net.
living my call by DANNY CHANDLER
Time is Important for Fathers most of the boys in my neighborhood, it was not a fun time. F orIn fact, most avoided it as long as they could.
Hanging out with friends, running errands for Mother, and sleepovers at Grandmother’s house, were just some of the ways to avoid a subpoena. Almost as bad as going to the county health department for immunization shots. It was an anathema. About once a month, I would hear, “Danny, go get in the chair, so I can cut your hair.” Usually, without hesitation, I would climb into that chair, get draped in a homemade barber’s cloak, and the buzz of clippers and snipping of scissors would ensue. My Father had no formal training as a barber. But he was one of those people who believed if he received good instructions, was shown enough times, and given the proper tools he could do it, whatever it was. He and a friend bought barber tools years before, and practiced on each other. By the time he was father to two boys, he was ready. It was also part of his fiscal conservative nature. Going to the barber shop was a recurring expense. Learning the trade and buying the tools was an investment, with immeasurable savings. Spending time Father was meticulous. He took his time making with the family precision cuts and trims. My Mother says I have always looked more like him than I would ever admit. I trusted will be some of him to fix his twin just right. the best time It was the time spent together that was priceless. We had time to talk about baseball, football, school, church, any of us will or whatever subject came to mind. In my formative ever invest. years, my Father was my best friend. We went almost everywhere together. When he put on his shoes, I put on mine. When he grabbed his coat, that was my cue to get mine. Many nights he put me to bed, when I fell asleep on the couch, or in the chair, trying to stay up with him. My Father passed away at age 59. I never told him how much I valued that time, and how I wished he had kept those Sunday afternoons for the two of us. The decision to end them was mutual. I thought it was a teenager’s prerogative to choose his own barber. He allowed me the freedom to decide. Hindsight is indeed is 20/20. Too many times, parents, especially Fathers, rush through time spent with their children, hastening to the next task, the next meeting, the next luncheon, not realizing that once time passes into eternity, it cannot be redeemed. Spending time with the family will be some of the best time any of us will ever invest. My son, now a high school senior, still gets a haircut from his unlicensed, barber-father. I may no longer be the friend he prefers hanging out with, but I am hanging on as long as I can. I only get one chance. The truth is we both benefit. Y
Danny R. Chandler is an EMT with American Medical Response and Founder of Mississippi Friends of Oakwood Committed to University Support (Mississippi FOCUS) Scholarship program and the Chandler Foundation.
metrochristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2011 15
âžşchristian commerce corner by MARILYN TINNIN
Julia Edwards: Sunnybrook Estates Sunnybrook Estates is a beautiful retirement community in Madison where residents enjoy an active and independent lifestyle. Julia Edwards, Executive Director, is typical of the dedicated staff who are passionate about the residents she serves. How does your Christian faith influence your work at Sunnybrook? I believe that Christ’s teachings teach us to serve others with a servants heart. How refreshing it is to be employed by a Christian organization to have complete freedom to express and demonstrate the love of Christ in the work that you do each day.
What is your favorite aspect of your work? The residents are my joy and sole purpose in the work that I do each day at Sunnybrook Estates.
Who inspired you to work in a retirement home?
She always had a strong work ethic and inspired me to follow my heart’s desire. From a very young age I knew the path for me was to work with senior adults
What advice would you give to someone who is considering moving a parent or themselves into a retirement community? Tour the community of interest and meet the staff, visit the residents of the community and share a meal with the residents. Find a community where a person can feel at home. At Sunnybrook Estates we do our best to make our residents feel that they are coming home.
Julia Edwards, Executive Director at Sunnybrook Estates
Y
My mother was an inspiration in my life.
COMMUNITY Member FDIC
M&F Bank has deep roots as a community-minded bank. You won’t just see M&F employees in the bank you’ll find us at the ballpark, at PTO meetings, and at local events. We, like you, are part of this community and we are committed to its continued growth. Bank with a neighbor at M&F Bank.
16 JUNE 2011 â?˜ Metro Christian Living
Š 2011 M&F Bank
Rooted in the
Its’ “roundup� timeforchool! FirstPresbyterianDayS
First Presbyterian Day School making a dierence, one child at a time.
www.fpds.org www.mfbank.com • 1.800.379.5465
.ORTH 3TATE 3TREET s *ACKSON -3 s s FPDS ORG
by JOHN WIGGINS
➺
special delivery
FIRST TIME
Father’s Day B E Y O ND Y O U R B E S T .
J
une the 9th is a very happy day in my life and one that I look forward to because it is the day that I married my wife Kathryn. Each year we spend it differently. Once it was spent in Scotland where we lived while my wife attained her Masters degree. Another year we were blessed to spend it on vacation in Italy. On June 9, 2010 it was spent in the hot Mississippi sun. I came home to tell Kathryn, “Happy anniversary!” Kathryn told me something that would change me forever. “I’m pregnant” were the words. That night we went to eat at Bravo and we sat in wonderment. My mind raced from joyous thoughts of a beautiful son or daughter, to ones of great responsibility of raising a child to love the church and God’s kingdom more than the world. We laughed and cried tears of joy.
I have been shown what true sacrifice is in the actions it takes to provide for someone who is completely dependent on me. Decision time: Do we find out boy or girl? Do we move? What church should we join? These are some of truly easier questions. Through the pregnancy we were faced with many more. God blessed us with a healthy pregnancy and amazing support of family and friends. On February 11th of this year, God rocked our world with the birth of our baby boy, Harris Cash Wiggins. He came into this world and was instantly surrounded with the love of his parents and the affection of friends and family. I spent the first few days as a father enjoying the embrace of my son, the visiting of old friends, and the look of adoration on my wife’s face. Over the past few months I have been awestruck at the things that God has taught me through my infant son. I have been shown what true sacrifice is in the actions it takes to provide for someone who is completely dependent on me. I have seen what true affection looks like in Harris’ eyes when Kathryn soothes him. I have felt the effects of sin and imperfection on my son, and have realized that as perfect as he is in my eyes, he was born a sinner into a sinful
world. I love our baby boy and I would do anything for him. Harris and I have built a solid routine. I change his diaper before he eats. I burp him in the night when he cannot sleep. I try to rock him into slumber when he gets that 2:30 drowsy feeling in the afternoon. My favorite part of the day is when he sits on my knee and we have our daily conversation. He cannot form words but I truly believe that he is expressing thoughts. He will speak gibberish for a few seconds and then pause, as if to say, “Your turn, Dad”. I thought to myself the other day, “I hope he can speak as freely and joyfully with his Heavenly Father.” He has heard a lot in his first three months. He has listened to Jack Cristil call a Bulldog victory on the radio. He sits in the pew at Pear Orchard Presbyterian Church and sleeps through Carl Kalberkamp’s sermon each Sunday. He has even been to Starkville to hear Congressman Ron Paul speak of Austrian economics and the need for a new gold standard. As great as these men are and as much as I admire and respect them, I want him to hear our Father’s voice. I want him to long to hear him speak through scripture. To see God’s grace shown through the mutual love that Kathryn and I show each other. I want him to associate sacrifice and service with Christ’s atonement for us. The love Harris was shown when he entered this world was as free and unconditional as the love God shows His children. Something I tell Harris every day is “I love you because you are mine, just as God loves us because we are His.” Y John Wiggins lives in Jackson with his wife Kathryn and his son Harris.
Excel beyond your highest goals. At Belhaven University, you will find yourself in a place where top-rated faculty and a nurturing environment converge to bring you to your best … then propel you beyond what you believe is achievable. Nationally recognized academics. Vibrant campus life. Christ-centered worldview. The faith-affirming support to become more. Aim for excellence from God’s perspective. Visit Belhaven University … your place to discover your purpose.
belhaven.edu Schedule a personal visit to Belhaven University. Call 800-960-5940 or 601-968-5940, or email: admission@belhaven.edu. metrochristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2011 17
➺welcome home Outdoor Spaces by MARILYN TINNIN and KATE THOMAS
1
T
here’s just something soothing about sitting on the patio or the back porch in the early morning or the late afternoon.
Turn an ordinary patio into an inviting retreat with a few colorful accessories and a little creative thought. You can start with a few anchor pieces and add to your outdoor space year by year. If you buy quality pieces they should last for decades. Kate and I spent an afternoon at Madison Fireplace and Patio and learned a few tricks of the trade. By the way, the sweltering heat of the Mississippi summer no longer needs to drive you inside. We discovered the portable evaporative cooling unit that uses ordinary tap-water to cool the hot spots, both indoors and outdoors. Reasonably priced, this device will make outdoor living as attractive in July as it is in May! Patio furniture options are limitless. From retro to a fiber wrapped silicone dipped hand loomed wicker, the new materials are made to last and to withstand the elements. Even the Sunbrella fabrics that come in hundreds of patterns and colors do not fade or mildew when left outside year round. An outdoor rug will pull all the pieces together and really make your space feel like 2 a room. Accessories can include lanterns, gelled firepots, outdoor battery controlled candles, bird baths, fountains and wind chimes. Madison Fireplace and Patio is a treasure trove of accessories like brightly colored ceramic birds (a must-have) and decorative art for your bottle tree. Mary Stallings, the store owner and resident guru 4 of outdoor spaces says to think fun shapes, color, and weather resistant products, and you can’t go wrong. Oh, yes…and what’s outdoor living without a grill? Try the Big Green Egg. It can’t be beat. Y
1. All Outdoor Wicker Love Seat, Chair and Side Table Group $1797. Cat: Priceless. 2. Evaporative Outdoor Cooler $209. 3. Kingston Patio Group $2999. 4. Retro Chair and Cooler $199.
18 JUNE 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living
3
60%
of readers frequently purchase products or services from ads seen in MCL
58%
of readers keep MCL for one month or more
99%
pick up rate at over 800 locations in high traffic areas
21,000
copies in circulation
55,000+
readership every month
7 + (
25&+$5' Mississippi’s Premier Retirement Community
Advertise with us CALL 601.790.9076 EMAIL info@metrochristianliving.com
600 PEAR ORCHARD ROAD s RIDGELAND MISSISSIPPI 39157 s PHONE 601/856-2205 s www.orchardretirement.com
providing all of your life insurance needs
Because life insurance isn’t for the people who die— It’s for the people they leave behind.
Southern Farm Bureau Life Insurance Company P.O. Box 78 Jackson, MS 39205 (601) 981-7422 • sfbli.com metrochristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2011 19
Martin Willoughby
FOCUSED Fathering by MARILYN TINNIN
Intentional. Deliberate. Focused. Those words are at the center of local attorney and business advisor Martin Willoughby’s approach to life. Whether he is wearing his professional “hat” or his husband and father “hat” he is totally 100% committed and his heart is in it. He confesses to being slightly OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) about goal setting and planning regardless of which “hat” he is wearing. The way Martin sees it, life is too short not to be intentional. One of the most interesting spots in his home is his shower where laminated lists, Bible verses, favorite quotes, and motivational thoughts are tacked bulletin board style around three sides giving the feel of an office cubicle! As a believer, his stated goal is to “finish strong.” As a father, he wants to raise “spiritual champions.” Therefore, every day’s journey is significant, and every minute is precious. He tends to make daily decisions by filtering them through the lens of “the long view.” His long view looks like something called “eternal perspective” to me. My first thought was how much Martin Willoughby’s faith in action looks like the apostle Paul’s admonition to “take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ.” (I Corinthians 10:5). His Model Martin’s inspiration for manhood was his own father. Although Earle Willoughby died of a heart attack at only 47, he had put 23 devoted years into a relationship with his son, and there never seemed to be a day when Martin was not taking Martin has also notes. “My dad grew up without a father, so basically, deduced that he was playing without a script. He wanted to give us (Martin has one sister) what he had not parenting girls and had.” Over the years, Martin has thought about parenting boys are generational influence, about how often family patterns of dysfunction seem to reproduce two different animals! generation after generation. Earle Willoughby set in motion a generational shift for the Willoughby clan by choosing a parenting style different from the one that he had experienced. Martin describes his dad as someone who was always engaged and interested, a great encourager, not just to his own children but to their friends as well. Whether it was coaching Martin and his friends at
20 JUNE 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living
Martin’s Parenting Picks • Revolutionary Parenting by George Barna • Point Man by Steve Farrar • The Blessing by Gary Smalley and John Trent • Raising a Modern Day Knight by Robert Lewis • Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Ted Tripp
baseball or basketball or conversing about whatever was happening in their world, he engendered respect and relationship. “I have tried to take what he taught me and build on that,” says Martin. Just as his father has shaped much of Martin’s philosophy of parenting, he is conscious of his personal potential impact on generations that come after him. All the more reason to be intentional. For several years prior to Martin’s birth, his dad was a Minor League baseball pitcher for the New York Yankees. When his mother Margaret discovered she was pregnant with Martin, she announced to Earle that it was time to retire from baseball and get a “real” job. They settled in Jackson where Earle took an accounting position with KPMG. A few years later he decided to take an entrepreneurial step. He was 32 years old when he bought Ferguson Furniture in downtown Jackson, expanded the business to include several stores in multiple cities, and for 14 years built a very successful organization. “All through my growing up years, that’s what Dad did. I thought I would grow up and be a second generation owner,” Martin says. Everything changed during the mid 1980’s when the furniture industry went down. Add to the industry collapse the demise of downtown commerce and the fact that the Willoughby’s owned a building nobody wanted to buy. Martin’s dad shuttered the building and basically went bankrupt when Martin was a high school sophomore. Martin describes what a total adjustment the business failure was for his family. “We had grown up in an upper middle class situation and suddenly all of that went away.” When he enrolled at Millsaps College in 1987, he was in search of Plan B for his future, and he had no idea what that might be.
Faith Through those next tough years as his father struggled financially, Martin took note of his dad’s ability to weather the storm. There was no quitting and no bitterness. It seemed in many ways, Martin’s parents and sister were handling all of this better than he was. Martin’s sister Meg had a greater understanding of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. She talked the talk and walked the walk, and Martin wanted what she had, but, as he says, “I was over thinking
metrochristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2011 21
Words of Willoughby Wisdom Friendships: Between work and family it doesn’t leave much extra time. However, I have found that one of the most beneficial things to me as a parent are some of the close Christian brothers I have. I read Gordon MacDonald’s A Resilient Life a few years ago and it really hit me how important it is to have a true ‘band of brothers’ to walk through life with. I have some great friends…the fellowship has allowed us to swap notes on being a father and husband and to truly encourage one another. This is the type accountability I need to keep me on track.
Rules for children: I hope to have a few clear points that our children know and remember.
Mentors: Early in my adulthood I sought after and prayed for mentors to come along in my life. God has provided me men I can talk to during different seasons of life.
The Big Question: One of the interesting things to me about the journey of parenting is to consider the long view. What kind of child am I trying to raise? (e.g. pro baseball player, a musician, Harvard scholar). While those are all good things, I have been heavily influenced by George Barna’s book Revolutionary Parenting. I really like the idea about raising Spiritual Champions. It provides me a better filter to view decisions and how we spend our time.
Just as his father shaped much of Martin’s philosophy of parenting, he is conscious of his personal potential impact on generations that come after him.
22 JUNE 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living
everything.” He ended up studying all the major world religions and says, “I just wanted to make sure that because I born in the South, I chose the right religion—not just the local religion.” Although the Willoughby’s were active members at Christ United Methodist Church in Jackson, and Martin grew up in Sunday School and church, he had not stayed plugged in during high school. “I had just drifted away from some of that,” he says. He didn’t wander into any dangerous lifestyle—he just did not find himself drawn to the youth group scene. “I had a keen sense of God and I wanted that relationship. I realize I had a lot of head knowledge about God during my teen years, but when I got to college two things happened. One, I was challenged a lot in my belief system. I took a lot of philosophy of religion classes and so it was perceived that I was narrow-minded perhaps if I was a Christian. So that, coupled with the fact that I was watching my family struggle through the financial times that it just had such an impact on me. I just didn’t know what the real thing looked like.” God probably used that period of doubt to prepare Martin for a deeper and more authentic faith during his adult years.
An Unlikely Answered Prayer Martin had definitely inherited a little entrepreneur spirit from his father. The failure of Ferguson Furniture had not dampened his desire to own a business. Right out of college he and a friend, Jay Ciaccio, formed a management company and were invited to run several tennis centers in the metro area. They were well known local tennis players who had taught many a tennis lesson to aspiring youngsters. Their business prospered. When the partners decided to add another instructor to the mix, they called on Nicki Ivy, who had just graduated from Florida State on a tennis scholarship and returned to hometown Jackson. Martin and Nicki had been tennis friends in high school but had never dated. It didn’t take long for a romance to begin and as Martin says, “We had one date and have dated every day since.” They married in 1994. During this same period of time, there was a growing awareness of the importance of faith and the restless thought that “I didn’t have what I should have.” He wrestled with the reality of what it must mean to have an authentic faith. Jay and Martin who by this time had decided to be life-long entrepreneurs together decided to go to law school. Martin knew that he would have to have a scholarship in order to go. He did a little research on scholarships and discovered what score he would need to make that happen. For months he and Jay studied for the LSAT. The test was given in four parts and took several hours. During a break midway through the test, Martin ran into Jay at the water fountain. Jay told him he had decided not to finish the test. He had decided he was not completely prepared and was going to study some more before re-taking the test. Martin panicked. He returned to the next section of the test and could not concentrate. He had always known that this particular section before him would be his most difficult. And here he was completely distracted. The proctor paced the room announcing at regular intervals how much time remained. At ten minutes, Martin glanced down to see how many bubbles remained to be filled in. He rushed to finish, guessing all the way, and left the test that day certain that he had just blown his chance for a scholarship and most likely his opportunity to attend law school. Several weeks later his scores arrived, and Martin practically fell on
the floor when he opened the envelope. Here in print was the exact score he needed to qualify for a full scholarship. Carefully reviewing the section he was sure he had bungled, he saw that he had guessed correctly to at least 99% of those last hurried questions. He is quick to clarify that this amazing circumstance is not about the prosperity gospel, but rather God’s ability to use unique situations to show us what we need to be shown. For Martin, this was a very personal act of a very relational God who was going to extraordinary lengths to show his questioning child that He was very much the real God and nothing was too difficult for Him (Jeremiah 29:37). “That literally lit a fire in me that is alive to this day,” he says.
The Willoughby Way at Home Martin acknowledges a “tension” between being a good father and husband and the demands of work. “I have chosen a field of work that is very demanding of my time and energy,” he says. “I am passionate about my clients and projects and it is easy for me to get out of balance with the family.” He humbly gives Nicki credit for helping nudge him back when his time and energy are not in sync with his stated values. They spend time talking about their priorities as parents. First and foremost they agree that their number one priority is to have a vibrant faith, a faith that matters, and never a “faith that is just going through the motions.” The Willoughby’s have read the parenting books, participated in the seminars and the studies on parenting and have distilled their number one lesson down to this: “living an authentic life of faith” before their children. They can’t fake it, and to do it right takes time…time to keep their own relationship with the Lord center stage. The living out is so practical for them. “A lot of my prominent memories are exactly what we are in the process of doing today with our family,” says Martin. His memories of throwing the baseball with his dad, being proud of his dad for coaching the team…he realizes that the close relationship he shared with his father was the result of time…the time his dad took to build a relationship with a child right where the child was at the time. Five-year-old Trey (Martin Earle Willoughby III) is old enough to play soccer and an early version of baseball. The Willoughby’s name Saturday’s as “All Sports Days” when the whole family participates in some sport together. It is much more about building a relationship around common interests than developing an Olympic star! Martin also has deduced that parenting girls and parenting boys are two different animals! He and eleven year old Ally have father-daughter dates regularly. They go to dinner and a movie and then they discuss the movie. Teachable moments are everywhere. Ally confessed, “I’m going to do a lot of things my dad has done with my children.” Oh, my…that generational thing is so true! Martin and Nicki make a great team. She calls him “the idea person,” and herself “the implementer.” She loves to tease him just a little about his tendency to be so deliberate offering to buy him a new three-ring binder every time he gets a new idea, but she loves her role and respects her husband’s talents to consider the long view. “He is very passionate about everything he does. His leadership in the home, the way he treats me, the way he treats the children…you can tell that Christ is at the center of his life and everything else flows from that.” Jesus said, “You will recognize them by their fruits” ( Matthew 7:16). Martin Willoughby takes that to heart. The sum of life is made up of many parts. Martin’s intentional focus is to see that all of those parts take him closer to his principle goal…to finish strong. Y
Precise Clinical Neuroscience Specialists Opiate Dependency Treatment People often become dependent on Opiates when prescribed pain medication by their physicians. Opiate Dependency can damage health and mental well-being. At Precise CNS we offer choices for treatment and specialize in providing a path to overcome Opiate Addiction and Dependence. Our medical director, Dr. Kristen Bevill, will evaluate the need for Suboxone or Subutex treatment as well as other mental health issues that could influence the effectiveness of treatment. Medications are effective for treatment, however, they work best with our available Counseling services. Licensed Professional Counselor, Annese Hutchins, offers a safe, supportive and non-confrontational setting to learn about substance abuse and coping skills that empower patients to assume responsibility for recovery. At the core of her practice is compassion and hope for those trapped in the cycle of dependence on prescription pain medication.
If you or a loved one are having trouble breaking free from the cycle of Opiate Dependence, call us today.
Kristen Bevill, M.D.
Annese Hutchins, LPC
Phone: 601.420.5810 Fax: 601.420.5811 3531 Lakeland Drive, Suite 1060 Flowood, MS 39232 www.precise-research.com
metrochristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2011 23
➺modern motherhood by ROBIN O’BRYANT
The GENDER GAME What is SMART? “Daddy is smarter than you, Momma,” my five-year-old told me as I brushed her hair and helped her get ready for school. “No he’s not!” I scoffed at her. The nerve of that child! I’d never tell her that one of her sisters is smarter than she is. My husband is in fact, a genius. He is the smartest person I’ve ever met. Zeb has a rare combination of “walking around sense” and book smart. He remembers every word he’s ever read and he read an entire set of encyclopedias before he was 10 years old. His father is a contractor and a farmer, so Zeb’s summer jobs included everything from hauling hay to building houses. He can fix anything, build anything and has a factual answer for almost any question a five-year-old (or a thirty-two-year-old) could ask. I know he’s smart, and maybe smarter than I am. I’m sure if we got into some sort of dueling Algebra face-off, he would totally kick my tail. But my pride bristled and I wasn’t going down like that. “I can do lots of stuff that Daddy can’t do.” “Oh yeah? Can you make stuff out of wood?” Aubrey asked, skeptical. Zeb can build just about anything and has built more pieces of furniture for our house than we have actually bought. “No, but I know how to give people shots and draw blood,” I said, referring to my previous career as an ER nurse. “I can cook dinner and do laundry at the same time. I know how to make a blog and a website, and how to write books…” “Oh yeah, Facebooks. Huh Momma?” She asked encouragingly. For crying out loud. Does she think that I write on Facebook for a living? This was going to be harder than I thought. “Not Facebooks, Aubrey. Mommy writes REAL books, remember? I know how to grocery shop and I know how to sew.” I continued to defend my own honor. “Does Daddy know how to sew?” Uh-oh, I thought of all the times I’d asked him to sew buttons on for me because his eyesight is so much better than mine. “Yeah, I guess he does know how to sew some.” I conceded as I finished braiding her hair. Aubrey saw defeat in my eyes and out of sheer pity said, “I know something you can do that Daddy can’t do.” “What’s that?” In her sweetest voice Aubrey beamed up at me and said, “You know how to listen to children’s hearts…” “Oh honey!” I bent over and scooped her into my arms. I wasn’t sure 24 JUNE 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living
if she meant figuratively or literally with my stethoscope, but her need to keep me from feeling sad was enough to warm my heart. And really, I didn’t need my five-year-old to tell me how smart my husband is and how much we need him. And honestly, I probably don’t tell him that enough. So to my husband, and all the other fathers out there who fix the things that kids break, who sew on buttons, drive carpool, kiss boo-boos, who pick up their own socks and occasionally dinner when their wives are at the end of their rope— thank you. To the single dads who learn how to braid hair, who teach their daughters how to put on makeup and their sons how to throw a football—thank you. To the men who have stepped into the lives of children who are fatherless, who have gone to Father/Daughter dances, cut grass that isn’t your own, and taught someone else’s child how to change a flat-tire—thank you. You have given these children the gift of understanding a Father’s love and a glimpse of how our heavenly Father loves us and for that, mothers everywhere are grateful. “Don’t bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This isn’t a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we’re in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust? If he asks for fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? As bad as you are, you wouldn’t think of such a thing. You’re at least decent to your own children. So don’t you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better?” Matthew 7:7-11 (The Message) Y Robin O’Bryant is a wife, stay-at-home-mother to three daughters, author, humor columnist and speaker. She thanks God for the days she is successfully able to multi-task. Read her blog at www.robinschicks.com or contact her via email at robinschicks@gmail.com.
by MIKE TRAYLOR
➺
let’s talk it over
God’s POWER and
PRESENCE in Marriage Wacky Weekday Parties
are here!
ave you ever seen God show up with His power and presence in your marriage? If you have, I am almost certain you will be familiar with the focus of this article. If you haven’t, I would strongly ask you to consider implementing this one element into your relationship with your spouse and others. Before I mention this one element, let me explain a few things about marriage. Couples often ask me, “What is the #1 cause of divorce?” Well, I decided to go to Google for some answers. The results were intriguing. Most of the articles I found noted money issues as the #1 reason for divorce. Other articles mentioned infidelity, poor communication, lack of commitment, or sexual difficulties. Still other articles mentioned abuse, addictions, and selfishness. The response that was my favorite was this: marriage is the #1 reason for divorce! Imagine that. But in my search there was one factor that was never mentioned, and the omission concerned me. This one factor was what Jesus noted when He was asked about divorce. Jesus explained, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way in the beginning” (Matt. 19:8). Jesus gives us a new reason why people divorce— hardness of heart. I realize there are real reasons why divorce occurs. Sometimes habitual abuse, addictions, and infidelities destroy lives and relationships beyond repair. But I see many people bail out on marriage because they just can’t seem to forgive or let go of an offense that has occurred. Sometimes hardness of heart or the inability to forgive ends a relationship that might have recovered if forgiveness had been given.
H
Where I see God’s power and presence show up in marriage is when there is forgiveness. I have had the privilege of watching forgiveness restore marriages that appeared beyond repair. Forgiveness can restore families and relationships. Forgiveness can also help us develop into the people God intended for us to be. When we hang on to an offense, we block God’s power from being activated in our lives and circumstances. Thus we allow our adversary to torture us. God’s forgiveness to us changes our lives and sets us free. And when we extend that forgiveness to others (and ourselves), relationships change, circumstances change, and we change. Transformation begins to occur and God’s kingdom and presence are activated in our lives. We experience freedom, and others experience freedom as well. Thus whether you are married, divorced, or single I would strongly suggest that you make forgiveness a characteristic of your life. Much research has been done on the benefits of forgiveness. Forgiveness can change your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health. When we forgive, we are allowing God’s character to be shown in and through us, because we are imitating the actions of our Heavenly Father who forgave us. Can you forgive? Yes, with God’s help, you can forgive. Will you forgive? Choose to forgive and watch God transform your life and also impact the world around you. Y
Book your party on a weekday this summer for only $165 & get 2 free pizzas and drinks for your guests!
www.pumpitupparty.com Call 601-992-5866
FOR MORE DETAILS OR TO BOOK YOUR PARTY TODAY!
Mike Traylor is a Marriage and Family Therapist and can be reached at Summit Counseling 601-949-1949 or email at mtraylor@fbcj.org metrochristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2011 25
➺single still, single again by BETSY SMITH
It’s All About PERSPECTIVE
A
As I write this, it has been two weeks ago to the day, I was listening to James Spann (Alabama’s weather guru) in the background while catching up on paperwork from home. It was Wednesday. He had been warning us of bad weather for about a day and a half. One tornado had already come through Mississippi and then to Birmingham that morning, but he kept saying “There are more.” I finally decided to go to the grocery store and buy some “real food.” I wasn’t sure my Boca Burgers and Lean Cuisines would make it in case my power went out. I pulled in the Piggly Wiggly and there was not a parking spot in sight. I was on the phone with my business partner Brent at the time, and I said “Wow—isn’t it amazing how people run out when there is a mention of a storm?” I wonder what people would do if James Spann said “Jesus is coming tomorrow.” Anyway, I found a spot and found myself waiting in line to get down aisle one. A couple of hours later, I was watching a huge tornado head toward Tuscaloosa. I began to text one of my best friends who lives there to check on her. She and her fiancé (wedding June 25th) were in a closet. She was texting “so afraid.” Then the
Summit Recovery Ministries INTENSIVE COUNSELING PROGRAMS (ICP) For individuals and families from a Christian perspective • • • • • • • • • •
Behavioral Problems Anger Management Depression/Dealing with Loss Self-Esteem Social & Life Skills/Problem-Solving Skills/Goal Setting/Communication Skills Family Dynamics/Emotional Healing Assertiveness Training Drug/Alcohol Abuse/Dependency Eating Disorders/Self Harm Pornography/Sexual Addiction/Sexual Identity
tornado hit. Instead of another text message, she sent a pic of her fiancés house. It was ripped to shreds. Her dog was missing. Her wedding presents were gone. Everything. Ruined. In a matter of seconds. Over the next few days, as Bethany and many other victims began to process what had happened and to grieve over the loss of life, their homes, their belongings, they also began to pick up the pieces. She and Cullen held on tight to the one thing that is a constant in their lives as individuals and as a couple—their relationship with Jesus Christ. I talked with her a couple of days later. Here was a 32 year old female, who had finally found the man of her dreams, had planned a wedding, bought a dress, decorated and just finished painting their first house as a couple, had attended several showers in her honor and received every kind of wedding gift you can think of yada yada— all the things most single girls eventually hope to do. And in a couple of seconds—everything was taken away. “How are you?” I asked. “I’m good.” She said.
!
601.949.1949 26 JUNE 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living
Betsy Smith lives in Birmingham, Alabama and is employed by Boston Scientific-Neuromodulation as a medical device representative.
Traditional Family Value & Service
Connect WITH US ONLINE
Continuing with the Third Generation of Jewelers Like us on Facebook to keep up with the latest
facebook.com/metrochristianliving www.metrochristianliving.com
www.counselingministry.com
I didn’t want to be Debbie Downer, but I was thinking “What about the wedding? Is the church ok? “I’m not real sure about everything here in Tuscaloosa. Regardless, we are still getting married on our day. Even if we have no power, water, etc. Our relationship is not about “a wedding.” It’s about our love and commitment—to each other and to God. We are going to get through this storm. Who knows—maybe God is preparing us for another storm we will face down the line. We have each other and we have God. That is all we need.” I started thinking about her positive attitude and her perspective. I thought, too, of other friends—especially of those who “dream” of their wedding day, hate being single, and maybe are looking for “happily ever after” in all the wrong places. On Christ the solid rock I stand—all other ground is sinking sand. Just ask Bethany. Y
Serving the South Since 1971 1675 Lakeland Drive Jackson, Mississippi
601-983-2600
by SCOT THIGPEN
➺
chasing solomon
Venable GLASS SERVICES
Man Enough to be a
Mature Father? I can remember it like it was yesterday. Twenty-one years ago, my wife, Kimberly calls me for an unexpected lunch date. We had been married for two years. She pulls out this strange looking plastic contraption that had a little cross in the middle of it that had turned purple. I knew from the excited look on her face that whatever this thing was, it was a good thing. I guess after sensing my dumfounded look as to what all this meant, she announced that we were going to have a baby. I could not believe it. We screamed and danced and hugged and nine months later she gave birth to our first born 11 pound 3 ounce son Peyton. I was now a father. My first test of being a mature father came when they first brought our new baby in the room with us. Kimberly was obviously exhausted after delivering a small pre-school sized baby. Family was gathered in the room and it came to pass…literally…and the nurse asked who wanted to change this first poopy diaper.Ever been in a situation when every eye in the room turns to you? I looked back as to wonder why they were all looking at me. After sensing my dumfounded look as to what all this meant, Kimberly suggested that I should change the diaper. I spent my summers doing construction work and this diaper changing business was a new experience. What I found when I opened that diaper looked something of the sorts of an asphalt plant explosion. All I knew was that it was time for me to step up and be a mature father. Our boys are 20 and 18 years old now. We have celebrated Father’s Day and every year I am so proud of these boys and the men they have become. God has blessed us in so many ways with his grace. Only because of God’s grace, we have celebrated twenty three years of marriage together as a couple being faithful to each other, a marriage that has produced two incredible boys who have grown up to be outstanding young men. But I find myself this Father’s day season examining the definition of maturity that Paul writes about in Ephesians 4. He describes being
mature as “attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.” That, my friends, is the greatest Father’s Day challenge we can ever have. It is also what our children and churches and society need more than anything these days…men who are willing to take their maturity seriously. Sure, there are millions of men who are mature enough to get a woman pregnant, but there are far less willing to be a father to those that they have brought into the world. Yes there are men who are willing to do their share of
• • • • • • • • • • • •
Auto Glass Windshields replaced in shop or mobile Rock repairs Heavy equipment Glass Shower Doors Mirrors cut to size Window & Picture Frame Glass Insulated Glass Table & Desk Tops Commercial Store Fronts and Doors Patio & Sliding Doors Plexi Glass
RIDGELAND 660 Highway 51 Ridgeland, MS 39157
601-605-4443 BRANDON 209 Woodgate Dr. South Brandon, MS 39042
601-824-4405 www.venableglass.com
Only in Christ can men really become mature fathers. diaper changing duties, but there are far less who are willing to be faithful to their wives and live out the marriage vows that they have made. Fathers can be mature enough men to provide their families with all the comforts in this life, but there are far less who are committed to attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. The good news of the gospel is that it is never too late. Christ can and does forgive all our shortcomings if we ask and turn from them. Only in Christ can men really become mature fathers. Dads, the greatest gift that we can give our children in return of them celebrating Father’s Day with us, is to become MATURE in Christ. God bless us all as we become mature in Him.
Y
Scot Thigpen is the author of “Chasing Solomon” and the President of the Solomon Group companies (Solomon Financial Advisors and Solomon Ministries). metrochristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2011 27
➺food for thought
“My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of Him that sent me, and to finish His work.”
by LYDIA BOLEN
– John 4:34
Soup, Salad & Sandwich J
une is my favorite time of year for picnics and family gatherings. The fruits and vegetables at
our local farmer’s markets can supply everything you need for a perfect meal. Try a cold soup like Gazpacho with fresh cucumbers, zucchini, and tomatoes, which are at their peak of freshness. Sonoma Chicken Salad, a favorite Whole Foods Market dish, is perfect for a Father’s Day lunch or a simple family picnic. The classic Reuben Sandwich is a fun choice for a small group. Be sure and serve with your favorite coleslaw or potato salad!
GAZPACHO 4 cups tomato juice 1 small red onion, diced 2 cloves garlic, minced 1 red bell pepper, minced 1 large cucumber, chopped 2 cups Roma tomatoes, chopped 2 stalks celery, diced 1 whole zucchini, diced
3 tablespoons lemon juice 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar 1 teaspoon dried tarragon 1 teaspoon dried basil 1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley 1 teaspoon white sugar Salt and pepper to taste A few dashes of Tabasco
In a blender or food processor, combine all ingredients. Blend until well-combined but still slightly chunky. Chill at least 2 hours before serving. To serve, ladle into bowls, and garnish with fresh avocado slices, sour cream, and fresh cilantro. Don’t forget toasted bread slices to top off a perfect summer dinner! Serves 10.
SONOMA CHICKEN SALAD This recipe is adapted from the Whole Foods Market Cookbook. Dressing Salad 1 cup mayonnaise (adjust for preference) 2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts 4 teaspoons apple cider vinegar 3/4 cup pecan pieces, toasted 5 teaspoons honey 2 cups red seedless grapes (may half if desired) 2 teaspoons poppy seeds 3 stalks celery, thinly sliced Salt and pepper to taste In a bowl, combine mayonnaise, vinegar, honey, poppy seeds, salt and pepper. Refrigerate until ready to dress the salad. This can be prepared up to two days ahead. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Place the chicken breasts in one layer in a baking dish with one-half cup water. Cover with foil and bake 25 minutes or until completely cooked through. Remove cooked chicken breasts from pan, cool at room temperature for 10 minutes, then cover and refrigerate. When the chicken is cold, dice into bite-size chunks and transfer to a large bowl. Stir in pecans, grapes, celery and dressing. Serve on a bed of lettuce.
REUBEN SANDWICH 2 tablespoons butter, softened 8 slices rye bread 8 slices Swiss cheese 3/4 pound corned beef brisket, thinly sliced 1/2 pound sauerkraut 1/4 cup Russian Dressing
Remember to make memories through the kitchen...“the heartbeat of the home”. Go to my blog at www.lydiasapron.blogspot.com or email me at lbbolen@gmail.com. 28 JUNE 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living
Russian Dressing 1/3 cup mayonnaise 1 1/2 tablespoons ketchup 1 1/2 teaspoons prepared horseradish 1/2 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce Salt, to taste Freshly ground pepper, to taste
Butter one side of four slices of bread, and place the slices buttered-side down on a large piece of wax paper on a flat surface. Top each with a slice of Swiss cheese, and then divide half of the corned beef among them. Using paper towels, squeeze out excess moisture from the sauerkraut. Divide the sauerkraut among the sandwiches, and top each with one tablespoon of Russian dressing. Add another layer of corned beef and a second slice of swiss cheese to each sandwich. Top with the remaining bread slices; butter the side facing out. Preheat a griddle or frying pan to medium heat. Cook the sandwiches on one side until the bread is golden brown. Use a spatula to carefully flip the sandwiches over and finish cooking on the second side. Cut the sandwiches in half before serving. Serve with a side of coleslaw or potato salad. Makes 4 sandwiches. Y
From bucking broncos and lively wildlife to classic football and heritage festivals,
Find OPPORTUNITY. Register March 1st for MC Accelerated Degrees! Ready to advance your career and enrich your life, but need evening class hours and convenient locations? With the Mississippi College Accelerated Degree Program, you’ll find that and more. Call 601-925-3979 or visit mc.edu/accelerated
catch it all in Jackson, Mississippi—the city with soul. 9th Annual Jackson, Mississippi Black Rodeo Mississippi State Fairgrounds (July 9)
to learn more about our in-depth and in-demand programs:
- Accounting - Marketing
- Public Relations - Sociology
Mississippi Wildlife Extravaganza Mississippi Trade Mart (August 6-8)
- Business Administration
REGISTRATION: MARCH 1st, 2011 Clinton Campus – Self Hall, on the Mississippi College campus in Clinton
W.C. Gordon Classic Veterans Memorial Stadium (September 3)
Flowood Center – Across from Lowe’s on Lakeland Drive
Farish Street Heritage Festival Farish Street Historic District in downtown Jackson (September 3)
Classes begin March 7th.
CelticFest Mississippi Mississippi Agriculture & Forestry Museum (September 9-11 ) For details on Jackson events, attractions, and more, hit visitjackson.com.
City with sights. City with sounds. City with soul.
FIND FAITH. FIND FAMILY. FIND YOUR FUTURE.
Stop by Today for Fantastic Gifts for Dad $19.99 SALE
ONLY $4.99
Through My Eyes
Joshua 24:15 Key Ring
Tim Tebow With Nathan Whitaker
005383593
HB 005445055
Reg. $26.99
%OFF
30
ONE REGULARLY PRICED ITEM
VALID 6/66/25/11 C12086
Valid at the Jackson, Miss., LifeWay Christian Store only. One coupon per customer. Coupon must be presented and relinquished at time of purchase. Cannot be combined with any other discounts, including coupons, Savings Cards, Bonus Bucks, and LifeWay Rewards. Available on in-stock items only. Cannot be applied to the following: gift cards, church supplies and programs, NAMB, WMU, Convention Press, LifeWay-branded products, Living Proof Ministries, Bargain Buys, prior purchases, Willow Tree® products, LOGOs & BibleWorks Software, Specialty Imprints, textbooks, robes, pre-sell offers, and homeschool products.
752 Pear Orchard Rd | Ridgeland, MS 39157 www.christcovenantschool.net 601.978.2272
Jackson LifeWay Christian Store Located in Ridgewood Court Shopping Center next to Best Buy. 601.977.9676
metrochristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2011 29
COME ON OVER TO GET YOUR SUMMER FRUITS & VEGETABLES
FRESH-WAY
A Family Tradition.
P R O D U C E
WE CARRY THE VERY BEST IN PRODUCE!
FRESH VEGETABLES AND FRUIT PEACHES, WATERMELONS, & SO MUCH MORE
JAMS AND DRESSINGS
TOM ATO E S , CO R N, C U C U MB E R S SQUASH, OKRA, POTATOES, PEPPERS
F R O M G E N E R AT I O N T O G E N E R AT I O N .
CANNED VEGETABLES AND FRUITS
4/;7:G =E<32 /<2 =>3@/B32 Â&#x2019; ESTABLISHED 1989
$' =:2 1/<B=< @=/2 Â&#x2019; @7253:/<2 ;A 601-956-3727
From Births to Birthdays, Weddings to Anniversaries, & every special moment in between, thank you for choosing Highland Village to be part of making your memories even better.
I-55 North at Northside Drive, Exit 100 â&#x20AC;˘ www.highlandvillagems.com www.facebook.com/highlandvillagems â&#x20AC;˘ twitter.com/HVMississippi Shops open Mon-Sat 10A-6P â&#x20AC;˘ Restaurant hours may vary
Wright & Ferguson Funeral Home Parkway Memorial Cemetery
A D U LT
â&#x20AC;˘
G R A D U AT E
YOUR PLACE. YOUR PURPOSE.
JACKSON
RIDGELAND
CLINTON
RAYMOND
Serving Jackson Area Families With Dignity and Compassion for Over 75 Years WITH: Traditional Funeral Packages Cremation Options Mississippiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Most Prestigious Perpetual-Care Cemetery Prearrangement Welcome
601.352.3632 30 JUNE 2011 â?&#x2DC; Metro Christian Living
Excel beyond your highest goals. Belhaven Universityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Adult and Graduate programs allow you to fit quality higher education into your busy schedule. Taught in small classes by specialists in their fields, our programs provide a relevant education within a Christian framework. Find your place â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and discover your purpose â&#x20AC;&#x201C; at Belhaven University.
belhaven.edu
PORNOGRAPHY
The Prince of Thieves by MIKE MCDADE
here is an evil that permeates Christian culture in America more now than any other evil I know. It is the only sin left that is so easily hidden from view, and can somehow be compartmentalized by so many. It is like a cancer that you don’t find until it is at stage 4. I hear the justification so often in my counseling office, “I am not hurting anyone”. Are you kidding me? What about your wife who wonders where the intimacy in your marriage has gone? What about your children who wonder why you are always on the computer and won’t engage? What about the young girl being used like a piece of meat? What about the money you waste, which helps build empires of evil people who see women as objects to exploit? What about the woman who was raped last night because some sex addict addicted to porn finally got the courage to fulfill one of his bizarre fantasies? Are you kidding me? No. You’re kidding yourself! This culture already over emphasizes body image for women. Women have to be perfect, and when your wife finally catches you with pornography, and she will; it destroys her inside. She feels like she just isn’t enough for you. You see what all of us long for is intimacy; the feeling deep in our core that we are loved. If you are looking at pornography you are robbing your own heart of the true longings it desires; you have swallowed a counterfeit. Many of the clients in my office, or men who attend my retreats, have pornography problems. There are estimates that 70 percent of the men sitting in today’s congregations this past Sunday looked at porn last week. I know how much of a struggle this is for so many because I have struggled with it in my life as well. For some reason it
T
was okay during the time we grew up for men to have Playboy in their houses. IT IS NOT! Men are not going to change this problem; women are our only chance. There are enough men out there who think looking at pornography is okay. There are enough legitimate corporations profiting from pornography (Comcast, Marriott Corp., Qwest, Direct TV etc….) that are mostly run by men. Unfortunately, it will be another burden dumped in the lap of women, so all of you wives take note. If your husband, teenagers, family members or anyone that you come into contact with condones pornography use they are under the spell of the Prince of Thieves and they are trying to steal your life, and in the process destroy themselves. Treat it that way! Put filters on your family computers, and don’t give any man the key to unlock it. Force them to deal with their issues. Applaud them when they do seek help. Do not embarrass or shame them; this is the fuel of the Prince of Thieves. Write letters to Congress stating that pornography is no different than any other addiction (tobacco, alcohol and drugs), and they must somehow stop the proliferation of pornography into mainstream America. We have to make a stand against this evil! Don’t let the Prince of Thieves steal your family. If you need resources for dealing with this problem email me at mike @eyesoftheheart.com. Y Mike McDade is the Executive Director of Eyes of the Heart Ministries. For more information see www.eyesoftheheart.com. metrochristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2011 31
➺fresh finds Gift ideas for
Father’s Day 1. CIRCLE 7 Buffalo & Company Signature Ties, $59.95 Each tie has a signature of someone famous. Filson Leather Twill Trifold Wallet, $87.50 Filson Leather Twill Packer Wallet, $92.50
Pictured here are Winston Churchill, C.S. Lewis, and Ronald Reagan.
2 1
2. FRESH-WAY Chiminea starting at $60 and up.
3. MADISON PATIO Big Green Egg Omelet, $899 Wine-bottle windchime, $29.95 and it is Mississippi made. Savannah Lantern, $52
4. LIFEWAY BOOKS Billy Graham in Quotes by Franklin Graham, $15.99 Pujols: More than a Game by Scott Lamb and Tim Ellsworth, $24.99 True Courage: Emboldened by God in a Disheartening World (Bold Man of God) by Steve Farrar, $14.99
4
3
32 JUNE 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living
healthy living by DR. SAM PEEPLES
Enjoy Good Health…Stay Well WELL, WELL, WELL. So you are interested
in wellness. Just what is wellness? It is defined as the quality or state of being healthy in body and mind, especially as a result of deliberate effort. Beyond the generally accepted fact that all prefer wellness to disease, why should we pursue wellness? First Corinthians tells us that our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and because of this we should live in a spirit or attitude of wellness. The importance of this attitude cannot be overstated. Before the end of this article I will discuss specific recommendations for disease prevention but we should not miss the importance of our attitude of wellness. For our purposes, wellness does not mean absence of disease. That would be nice, but the truth is none of us can totally avoid disease. On the other hand, some of my patients with the worst diseases have the best outlooks. I’ve seen patients with deadly illnesses, such as cancer, Parkinson’s disease, or ALS enhance their shortened lives by adopting a spirit of wellness, while relatively healthy patients succumb to an attitude of defeat. Some of us seem to be born with a spirit of health and joy, but most of us have to work at it. So, how do we develop a spirit of wellness? Proverbs 17:22 tells us “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” Surround yourself with joyful people. Read uplifting passages of scripture. Find reasons to smile and laugh, as studies have shown that these physical acts themselves can improve our spirit.
God wants us to experience physical as well as spiritual wellness. Anxiety can be a roadblock to wellness. The Biblical prescription for anxiety is found in Phil 4:6-7, which tells us to “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Verse eight encourages filling our minds with whatever is good and pure and holy. It is much harder to be anxious when our minds are filled with God’s thoughts rather than our worries. It seems that everyone in our hectic society is tired. Fatigue is rampant. Could it be that Scripture holds a solution for this? Is 40:31 says, “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint.” Could our fatigue be due to running ahead of the Lord? Learn to wait, to rest in his presence. In creating an atmosphere of wellness, I’m reminded of what Dick Benz, founder of Buried Treasures Ministry said, “If you want to get over depression, serve somebody.” Not that service is the only treatment necessary for depression, but Dick’s point is well made. When we are serving others, we are less likely to be held hostage by our own problems. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Mow a neighbor’s yard. Go on a mission trip. Commit to pray for a friend, or even better yet, an enemy. The opportunities are endless. Finally, a few medical suggestions for wellness. If you don’t smoke, never, ever start. If you do smoke or use smokeless tobacco, stop. I’ve had numerous patients stop on their own, but others require assistance. The Mississippi Quit line is helpful. That phone number is 1.800.784.8669. Also, your physician may need to prescribe medication to help you.
Smoking cessation is probably the most important factor in creating a healthy life but close on its heels are the prevention and treatment of three diseases all linked to obesity. Diabetes, high blood pressure, and cholesterol disorders all feed off our obesity epidemic. If our nation could lose just 10% of its body weight we would probably see over a 60% decrease in new diabetic cases. Talk about healthcare reform! This is a striking number. Not only would we see diabetes decrease but our blood pressure and lipids would significantly improve. There is no way to lose weight without burning up more calories than you take in. Exercise more and eat less. Care for your temple. Weight loss alone is frequently not enough to control these big 3 diseases. Partner with your physician to get your blood pressure less than 140/90, your LDL or bad cholesterol less than 130, and if you have diabetes, your A1C (measure of average blood sugar) less than 7. Lifestyle modification is important but don’t be afraid to use medication, which significantly lowers your risk of heart disease and strokes. As far as cancer prevention goes, have a colonoscopy at age 50 or sooner with a positive family history. For women, mammograms every 1-2 years after age 40 are needed. Pap smears every 2 years from age 21-30 and, if all are negative, can be extended to every three years unless high risk factors are present. Prostate specific antigen (PSA) testing may be helpful after age 40 for men, although the pros and cons of this test are debated. Age-appropriate vaccines are important. In addition to the usual childhood vaccines, vaccinations for flu, pneumonia, tetanus, whooping cough, and shingles are encouraged. For more in-depth guidelines or vaccines and other guidelines, please visit www.CDC.gov. Entire books are written about wellness or preventive health but this article covers the basics. God wants us to experience physical as well as spiritual wellness. While we may not fully realize either of these until we stand in His presence, we should care for our temple. Just as the Levites had responsibility for the earthly temple, we are held responsible for the care of our bodily temple. Work to create an environment of wellness and experience the abundant life promised to us. May God richly bless you.
Y
Dr. Sam Peeples is an internal medicine specialist practicing with Premier Medical Group of Mississippi in Jackson and has served as Governor of the MS/LA chapter of the American College of Physicians.
A CAMP FOR GRIEVING KIDS
Heal, Play, Grow AGES 7-14 • July 8-10, 2011 Camp Lake Stephens • Oxford, MS No prior experience with a hospice organization is required, and there is no charge to attend the camp. For more information, please go to www.gentiva.com/hospice to download an application or call 601.983.3193.
metrochristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2011 33
➺legal advice by WILLIAM B. HOWELL
Nursing Home Medicaid “Fact”—True or False? n the years following the Deficit Reduction Act of 2005 there were some very large changes in the Medicaid rules, particularly as to who is and who is not qualified for Medicaid assistance in the nursing home setting. The result has been a lot of confusion. We hear untrue statements repeated as “facts” almost daily. Sadly, many people hear a discouraging statement and abandon their attempt to ever receive benefits, resulting in virtually all their assets being spent for nursing home care, when at least half (if not all) of what they have worked a lifetime for could likely have been saved. What it takes is accurate information and good legal advice from an attorney experienced in this area. The following are the comments we hear most often.
I
1
The new rules will keep you from protecting assets from Medicaid. False. Most (if not all) of your assets can likely be protected. There are just new methods to be used. The Medicaid rules changes require a somewhat different approach than what was done in the past, but the laws and regulations still allow several perfectly legal avenues for protecting assets.
2
You must ‘spend down’ everything on your care to qualify for Medicaid. False. You may still protect assets. Not everything must be spent, and certainly not only on your care.
3
If you give away assets, you are automatically disqualified for 60 months. False. The Medicaid disqualification period varies all over the place. It may range from a few months to several years. The actual length depends upon the facts of the individual situation. But even a long period can almost always be reduced with just a little analysis and planning.
4
It is illegal to give away assets to qualify for Medicaid. False. It is illegal to give away assets and then lie about it. It is not illegal to give away assets as a part of a well thought-out plan in order to arrange to qualify for Medicaid.
5
You can give each of your children and grandchildren up to $13,000 without affecting Medicaid eligibility. False. This is confusing federal gift tax law with Medicaid rules. You may well be able to give away much more, as long as it is done correctly. Again, get some good advice before you act.
6
A Living Trust will protect your assets from Medicaid. False. With a Living Trust you still own your assets. There is no Medicaid asset protection with a Living Trust. But a Living Trust if often of great value in this type of planning, because a properly written Living Trust will give to the Successor Trustee the authority to do asset transfers for Medicaid planning, even if the person who originally set up the Living Trust is then incapacitated.
7
Once in a nursing home, there is nothing you can do to protect assets. False. Planning is frequently done after a person goes into a nursing home. It is not too late, so long as someone has authority over the assets, through a Living Trust, sometimes with a Durable Power of Attorney, or perhaps by being a joint owner on a bank account or some other types of assets. The earlier the planning is done, the more that can be protected. In almost every situation we have been involved with, half or more of the assets could legally be saved. But, in order to reach the maximum benefit, this type protection planning should always be done SOONER RATHER THAN LATER. Y
You have worked hard for it. WHY THROW IT AWAY? We are all living longer. But we are not all going to be in good health, or aware of our families, or both. Then what happens? Someone has to take over. The question is: Will this be someone you chose? And will it be outside of court or in court? The same with the distribution of your assets after you pass away: In court or out of court? The choice is yours. What about protecting your assets from lawsuits, or a child’s inheritance from a divorce? And will most of your hard-earned savings go to the nursing home? Or have you planned? Here are a few ideas for you to consider:
Living Trust – Allows the person you choose to take over for you in the event of your incapacity, without any court involvement. At your death the person you have chosen makes the distribution of your assets the way you have instructed in your Living Trust, and to do so promptly, inexpensively and privately, without going through probate in the court.
Asset Protection – Lawsuits are filed every day. If you get sued, are your assets protected? They can be, and probably should be. Also, the divorce rate has never been higher than it is today. Will your child’s divorce cause them to lose half of what you leave them after you are gone? Not if you plan now. The level of protection (or not) is up to you. Nursing Home Planning – Don’t qualify for long term care insurance, or can’t fit it in your budget? You don’t have to spend everything that you have in order to become eligible for nursing home benefits. There are legal and ethical ways for you to save well over half of your assets in most cases, even if you are already in the nursing home. Hear Mr. Howell on the radio
Tuesdays 8:35 am WJNT NewsTalk 1180 34 JUNE 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living
THE LAW FIRM OF
WILLIAM B. HOWELL, LTD. 406 Orchard Park • Ridgeland, Mississippi (601) 978-1700 or (800) 839-7857
National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys
by HEATHER MAY
â&#x17E;ş
mars and venus
Our Daddy I
was shopping recently when I heard the sound of a little kid crying next to me. I looked down to notice that he was standing alone, with his head down, sobbing. When I asked him if he was okay, he informed me that
he had lost his daddy. He thought his dad had escaped the store without him. I quickly informed him that I was sure his daddy was in the store somewhere and we walked the store together until we found him. Many of us could use that same reminder that our daddy is somewhere nearby and hasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t left us. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not talking about our earthly daddy, but our heavenly daddy. Long ago, before you were ever thought of or created, there was a Daddy who had you in mind. It wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t that He was lonely, because He had already created billions of other children in the world before you. It wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t that He was bored, because He already had an entire universe to oversee. He delighted to create you because He had a purpose for you. He carefully formed you in your motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s womb. And He formed you in His image because He wanted you to know who you belonged to. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s amazing to think that He created us because He wanted to create us. We all go through times where we think we are worthless and have nothing to offer. How can this be true when the God of the universe, the one who made the sun, created darkness and light, and separated the water from dry land is the very Daddy who thought of us, conceptualized us, and then created us to live on this earth in this generation? Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not like He didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have other things He could have been doing at the time, but He chose to take time for us. Our Daddy also delights in us. We all have days where we feel like no one likes us. Sometimes we even feel like our Daddy doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t like us when we go through things that arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t pleasant. We feel as though Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s forgotten us. We think He is displeased with us or He is being mean at times. But Proverbs 3:12 says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the child He loves that God corrects; a fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s delight is behind all this.â&#x20AC;? (MSG) Sometimes our Daddy has to discipline us, but He does it because He delights in us. But disciplining us isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t all our Daddy is about. In fact, He would rather not have to discipline us at all! Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s our wrong decisions that bring about His discipline. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a song that has continued to grow in popularity recently called How He Loves. The song begins with these words: â&#x20AC;&#x153;He is jealous for me.â&#x20AC;? Have you ever experienced jealousy before? The word jealous in the Bible is defined as â&#x20AC;&#x153;intolerant of unfaithfulness or rivalry.â&#x20AC;? We find this word used in Exodus 34:14. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Do not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.â&#x20AC;? (NIV) There are many names for our Daddy in the Bible such as Provider, Rock, Redeemer, Lord, Jesusâ&#x20AC;Śbut Jealous? Did you even know that Jealous was a name for our Daddy? It is. He is jealous for us. And thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what our heart longs for, to be loved by someone that deeply. We want someone to be jealous for us, to fight for us, and to think weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re worth something. Our Daddy does. Truthfully, if we feel like our daddy has left us, it isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t that Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s left us at all. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s that we have walked away from Him. He has been fighting to keep us close to Him since we were born. And just as sure as I could tell that little boy that his daddy was still in the store, so I can tell you with even more confidence that your Daddy is still nearby. Y
We all go through times when we think we are worthless and have nothing to offer.
Heather May is a writer, blogger, and sour candy fanatic who works in the marketing field and is currently working on her first book. She and her husband, Bryant, live in Brandon and attend Pinelake church.
Have You Fixed Your Dirt Crawl Space Yet? Get Rid of That Damp, Musty Smell in Your Home!
The earth in your dirt crawl space is the major source of moisture in your home! This moisture is carried up into your house from [OL UH[\YHS \W^HYK HPY Ă&#x2026;V^ JYLH[LK MYVT YPZPUN OLH[ The CleanSpaceÂŽ Crawl Space Encapsulation System is the answer!
www.mscrawlspace.com
Call Today!
601-898-0891
$ GLYLVLRQ RI (QHUJ\ ,QVXODWLRQ ,QF Â&#x2021; 5L[RQ 6LPPRQV 2ZQHU
metrochristianliving.com â?&#x2DC; JUNE 2011 35
➺rave reviews BOOKS
MOVIE
Project Dad Reviewed by Susan E. Richardson Dads, are you ready for the do-ityourself project of a lifetime? If you responded to the title “dad,” you’re already involved. What bigger project can you tackle than raising your children to be strong adults? In Project Dad author Todd Cartmell takes a positive do-it-yourself look at being a great dad. He begins with the assurance that perfection is not required. A great dad is authentic, one who recognizes and grows from his mistakes, not one who is perfect. Nor are you in the project alone. God designed you to be a great dad and stands ready to shape you into one for your children. Cartmell looks at five different areas: how to look at, talk to, connect with, act toward, and lead your children. Chapters within each section are short, easy to read and include “guy” humor. Discussion questions at the end of each chapter would make the book a good choice for a study group, or you can use them individually. The author does not simply tell what you should do, but gives specific ways to follow his guidelines throughout. The various lists and examples are one of the book’s greatest strengths. Concrete guidance helps a reader understand how to implement ideas. Project Dad is biblically based, well written, and filled with sound advice. Even men who don’t like to read will find the book approachable. Pick up a copy today and get started on the next phase of your greatest God-given task: fatherhood. Y Susan E. Richardson is a writer, critique reader, and former Christian retailer with a passion for meeting people’s needs through the written word. You can reach her through her website www.nextlevelcritiques.com.
36 JUNE 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living
Elle: A Modern Cinderella Tale Reviewed by Marilyn Tinnin Released in late April, Elle was winner of the Audience Award for Best Family Film at the 2010 Newport Beach Film Festival and received The Dove Foundation “family approved” seal for all ages. Elle is the story of a young girl who dreams of following in her parents’ footsteps as a singer and songwriter. After their untimely death, she puts her dreams aside to intern at her uncle’s independent record label. It is here she meets the Sensations, the company’s most popular singing group, but these three girls soon become her biggest pain. Elle feelings of loss, frustration, and misplaced guilt build up as she struggles to fit into the pop music environment far from her Southern roots. Eventually she meets the famous pop singer, Ty Parker falls in love with her and his affection causes Elle to revive her own dreams of singing and songwriting. Starring Ashlee Hewitt, Vicksburg native Katherine Bailess, Kiely Williams, Sterling Knight and Thomas Calabro, this is a light and happy family movie. Y
events calendar
CANTON & RIDGELAND June 5 Caroline Herring, noted folk singer and songwriter, will be in concert at Grace Chapel Evangelical Presbyterian Church at 3 p.m. Tickets are $25 and will include a copy of Herring’s most recent album The Little House Songs. Tickets may be purchased at the church office at 601-856-7223.
experience for children ages 9-12 who have experienced the death of a parent, sibling, primary caregiver, friend, or anyone significant in their lives. There is no charge to attend. Contact the McClean Fletcher Center at 601-206-5525 for an application. Space is limited.
JACKSON June 6 –19 The Big Apple Adventures will be this year’s theme for Vacation Bible School at First Baptist Church Jackson. From 9 a.m. to noon children will be presented the gospel, make crafts, sing songs and enjoy fellowship. Children entering kindergarten through 6th grade are invited to attend. For additional information and sign up visit www.fbcj.com
June 19 Father’s Day is around the corner and what better way to spend the day with Dad than at the Father’s Day Car Show. Cruise on down to the Jackson Zoo for this fun filled event. For more information call 601-352-2580.
FLOWOOD June 4 Liberty Park, next to the Flowood YMCA, will play host to the Flowood Family Festival with the fun beginning at 4 p.m. Enjoy great food, children’s events, and entertainment from The Colonels and headliner Tracy Lawrence. Come on out
June 13 – 17 Twin Lakes Day Camp has a few spots available. The fun begins at 8:00 am each day when the camp bus departs from First Presbyterian Church in Jackson and doesn’t let up until you return each day at 5 pm. Stay over Thursday night. $395. Visit www.twinlakescamp.org and register online. June 30 – July 3 The Mississippi Championship Hot Air Balloon Fest is celebrating its 25th anniversary with a four-day fun filled weekend featuring two balloon glows, fireworks and children’s activities. The Ridgeland Balloon Glow and fireworks will be held at Northpark Mall on July 1 followed by the Canton Balloon Glow on July 2. Funds for this festival will go to support The Good Samaritan Center. For additional information, go to www.ballooncanton.com
CAMPS June 10 – June 11 The McClean Fletcher Center holds its Camp “Just Like Me” a two day
July 8 – 10 Camp Braveheart, a camp for grieving kids ages 7-14. Held at Camp Lake Stephens near Oxford, MS. There is no charge to attend. Sponsored by Gentiva Hospice, get more information by visiting www.gentiva.com/hospice or calling 601-983-3193. Y
metrochristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2011 37
JUNE 2011
and enjoy this Family Friendly, FREE Event!
➺quips & quotes
ADVERTISING INDEX
}
{
Cut out the scriptures and quotes and place them around your home for daily encouragement!
✂
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust. – Psalm 91:1-2
An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.” – Proverbs 24:26
“The home only fulfills its true purpose when it is God-controlled. Leave Jesus Christ out of your home and it loses its meaning. But take Christ into your heart and the life of your family, and He will transform your home.” – Billy Graham
“By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.”
“Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance.”
– Charles Wadsworth
“The greatest gift I ever had came from God, and I call him Dad!”
– Ruth E. Renkel
“Let us preach you, Dear Jesus, without preaching...not by words but by our example.” – Mother Teresa
– Anonymous
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. – Romans 15:13
GREAT HOUSE FOR FIRST TIME HOME BUYER “God has wisely kept us in the dark concerning future events and reserved for himself the knowledge of them, that he may train us up in a dependence upon himself and a continued readiness for every event.” – Matthew Henry
NORTH STATE ANIMAL & BIRD HOSPITAL 5208 North State Street • Jackson, MS 39206
601-982-8261 Dr. Adrian Whittington Dr. Jeb Cade Dr. Melissa McLendon OFFICE HOURS: Monday-Friday: 7:30 am - 6:00 pm Saturday: 8:00 am - 12:00 pm Sunday: Boarding only 5:00 pm - 6:00 pm
Boarding & Grooming Services Available
38 JUNE 2011 ❘ Metro Christian Living
739 GREEN FOREST RD, RIDGELAND • 3 bedrooms/2 bathrooms/bonus room • Approximately 1,850 sq. ft. • Garage/Fenced Yard/Metal Roof/Vinyl Siding • Madison County Schools • Price $126,500
CALL 601.707.7478
ADVERTISER
PAGE
Belhaven University......................................17 Belhaven University Adult Graduate ...........30 Brenda Travis Sitter Service .........................38 Callaway’s Yard & Garden..............................7 Cellular South .................................................3 Christ Covenant School ...............................29 Clinton Chamber of Commerce ....................7 Circle 7..........................................................13 Community Bank..........................................19 Energy Insulation..........................................35 Environment Masters.............................11, 39 Eye Care Professionals.................................40 Farm Bureau Insurance ................................19 First Presbyterian Day School......................16 Fresh-Way Produce ......................................30 Gameroom Gallery.......................................12 Grantham Poole CPAs .................................19 Highland Village ...........................................30 Icing on the Cake.........................................25 Jackson Academy School ..............................2 Jackson Convention Bureau ........................29 Jackson Preparatory School ........................13 Joel Clarke & Sons Jewelry .........................26 Lifeway Christian Stores...............................29 M&F Bank.....................................................16 Madison Fireplace & Patio ..........................23 Mississippi Children’s Museum ......................8 Mississippi College.......................................29 North State Animal Hospital........................38 Odyssey Hospice..........................................33 O’Mire Agency.............................................12 Persnickety Kitchens ....................................11 Precise Clinical .............................................23 Premier Medical Group ...............................13 Pump It Up ...................................................25 Sitters, LLC ...................................................35 Smiles by Design..........................................13 St. Catherine’s Village ....................................5 Star 93.5 .......................................................39 Stegall Imagery ............................................36 Summit Counseling......................................26 Sunnybrook Estates........................................2 The Orchard .................................................19 Tinnin Imports ..............................................10 Trustmark ........................................................8 Twin Lakes ....................................................10 Venable Glass...............................................27 William B. Howell .........................................34 Wright & Ferguson Funeral Home ..............30 Written in Stone, LLC...................................27 For more information on our advertisers visit www.metrochristianliving.com
Comfort
Keep cool. Call us before the heat of the moment. It’s a proven fact: home air conditioners in need of maintenance tend to break down on the hottest days. To keep your AC properly maintained, call us for Priority One Service. We’ll clean the AC coils, change the filter(s) and check that your system is operating as it should. Because the EPA now prohibits installation of freon-based units, both inside and outside components must be replaced when an older AC fails. To avoid sweltering – and qualify for a tax credit of up to $500 on your 2011 federal income taxes* – call to schedule a needed replacement at your convenience. Should your AC break down, call the name you can trust: Environment Masters. Family owned since 1957, we’re the inside experts on the most comfortable homes in Hinds, Madison and Rankin counties. Don’t wait. Call today. 601.353.4681 Now offering residential plumbing, too!
Environment MASTERS Residential 601.353.4681 • www.environmentmasters.com
* 2011 federal tax credit available only on TXDOL¿ HG KLJK HI¿ FLHQF\ V\VWHPV
HAPPENING NOW! Join Star 93.5 each day beginning May 13th to hear about great deals & family fun from local area merchants ! You don’t want to miss out. We have some great opportunities for you this summer season!
www.star93fm.com metrochristianliving.com ❘ JUNE 2011 39