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mschristianliving.com ❘ SEPTEMBER 2021 3
contents SEPTEMBER 2021 VOLUME 16, NUMBER 3 PUBLISHER
MS Christian Living, Inc. EDITOR
Katie Eubanks katie@mschristianliving.com MANAGING EDITOR
Suzanne Durfey ART/GRAPHIC DESIGN
Sandra Goff SALES
Suzanne Durfey, Ginger Gober, Dorothy Bachus
It takes a village … and not just to raise kids. What’s your role? See page 8.
PHOTO BY STEGALL IMAGERY
columns
MCL Editor Katie Eubanks shares a laugh with Helaina and John Damon, who’ve weathered storms both literal and metaphorical in their journey together. See page 16.
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Chris Bates, Libbo Crosswhite, Chris Fields, Dr. Fred Hall, Antonio Mack, Camille Morris, Vikki Dillon Mumford, Anna Claire O’Cain COVER PHOTOGRAPHY
8 Outside In What is your identity?
10 Modern Motherhood A spiritual wellness check for teens and adults
12 Mission Mississippi Moments Bearing with one another
14 This Is My Story How I misused my talents, and how God changed my path
Stegall Imagery DISTRIBUTION ASSISTANTS
Michelle and Randy Fortenberry, Rachel and Nettie Schulte, Jerri and Sammy Strickland, Rachel and Bob Whatley
Mississippi Christian Living P.O. Box 1819 Madison, MS 39130
601.790.9076 mschristianliving.com
24 Food for Thought
cover story
Holiday not required
16 John and Helaina Damon ‘God always provides’
26 Lagniappe How God introduced a Jackson man to his musical heroes
feature
28 Health & Wellness
22 But God Ministries
Confessing my struggle with bulimia
Changing lives in the Delta
29 Tough Questions
The testimony of Daniel Awabdy
How to help a suicidal friend
in every issue Coming next month Jill and David Dale on honoring their late son’s cancer journey
6 Editor’s Letter 30 Quips & Quotes 30 Advertiser Index
CONNECT WITH US: facebook.com/MSChristianLiving 4 SEPTEMBER 2021 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
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Mississippi Christian Living is committed to encouraging individuals in their daily lives by presenting the faith stories of others and by providing information that will point every person, at every stage of life, to a deeper, authentic, personal, and life-changing encounter with Jesus Christ. Views expressed in Mississippi Christian Living do not necessarily represent those of the publisher. Every effort has been made by the Mississippi Christian Living staff to insure accuracy of the publication contents. However, we do not guarantee the accuracy of all information nor the absence of errors and omissions; hence, no responsibility can be or is assumed. All Rights Reserved. Copyright 2021 by MS Christian Living, Inc. Mississippi Christian Living is published monthly and is available for free at hightraffic locations throughout the tri-county area. Subscriptions are $29 a year. POSTMASTER: Send change of address to Mississippi Christian Living, P.O. Box 1819, Madison, MS 39130.
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EDITOR’S LETTER
Saying goodbye to a furry friend
Y
’all, don’t hold this against me, but I’m a cat person.
Dally and I looking color-coordinated on a Sunday in July.
6 SEPTEMBER 2021 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
I know dogs are more popular. I know they’re nicer. I know they’re “man’s best friend.” I lived with various roommates and their canine BFFs for the better part of eight years, and I learned to love dogs on a level I never had before. But when I decided to get my own pet in December 2020, there was never any question: I would get a cat. I grew up with cats. I’m also an introvert who doesn’t enjoy being licked a lot. My friend Kari manages the Chipper & Coco pet shop in Jackson, and they typically have some adoptable animals from CARA (Community Animal Rescue & Adoption). I visited a couple of 4-month-old kittens there and decided I really liked “Scuttle,” a black male with white whiskers, belly and paws. He fit snugly in my arms. (FYI, I’ve been told black cats don’t get adopted as often because they “don’t photograph well.” This is a silly reason not to adopt a cat. It’s almost as silly as me being pleased that a black cat wouldn’t look “loud” against my home décor.) So I adopted “Scuttle” but not his name, and waited a few days to see what stuck. Read: I waited a few days to see if anything sounded better than Dally. I’d read S.E. Hinton’s young adult novel “The Outsiders” three times in adolescence, and one of my favorite characters in both the book and the film adaptation was Dallas Winston. He’s not exactly a role model, but I could save the biblical names for my kids. I did make one mistake, though: I looked up Dally’s hair color from the book, and sure enough, it was blond. I willed myself to forget that. Like any cat, Dally loved lying on laundry fresh out of the dryer. He also enjoyed sunning himself in my bathroom window, escaping into the garage and, later, lying on the floor against the door when I got home so that when it swung inward, I’d feel a little resistance. He often rested on my lap with his head tilted down face-first. Was he comfortable? Was he breathing? Yes, and yes. It took me a few tries to find the right way to keep him out of my gas fireplace. First I tried
shoving a chest up against it, but the chest wasn’t tall enough. Then I stacked books on top of the chest. This worked but looked tacky. Then I put lint-roller tape on the floor around the fireplace. Same issue. Finally, I tied the little chain-mail fireplace “curtains” shut with twistties that my mom had painted black for me. Thanks, Mom! I don’t regret naming my cat Dally, but I might name my next one Methuselah. Much like the fictional Dallas Winston, my sweet Dally died right around the time he reached adulthood. (Sorry to spoil “The Outsiders,” but it’s still worth reading, in my opinion.) On Friday, August 27, Dally was diagnosed with a rare, rapidly progressing terminal illness affecting (often) younger cats and kittens. He wasn’t suffering on Friday, but by late Saturday night, he was having seizure-like episodes every half hour. I could’ve given him more drugs, but that just would’ve prolonged the inevitable. I hadn’t seen him take a drink of water all day. So in an examination room at the urgent vet, I held my kitty, told him I loved him, cried two days’ worth of tears in five minutes, and went back to the reception desk to say I was ready. I know I did the right thing. And as much as I’ll miss Dally, I’m just so happy God let me have him for nine months. I’m happy I got to give him a home, and that he made my house feel like home. No, his last few days were not fun. But the emotion that overwhelmed me Saturday night, as I drove away from the urgent vet with an empty pet carrier, was gratitude. Y
‘Must-reads’ this month: ● Our cover story on John Damon, head of Canopy Children’s Solutions in Jackson, and his wife, Helaina, page 16
● Our feature story with the latest on But God Ministries’ work providing jobs in the Mississippi Delta, page 22 ● Libbo Crosswhite’s “spiritual wellness” conversation starter, page 10
Katie Eubanks katie@mschristianliving.com
Do you see a LEADER when you look in the mirror? HIGH SCHOOL SENIORS: Share your story of faith and leadership for a chance to
receive a scholarship toward college tuition. Applications and instructions are available at MSChristianLiving.com or through school counselors. Application deadline: October 15.
Mississippi Christian Living, in partnership with Belhaven University, will honor our 14th class of Christian Leaders of the Future at an afternoon event on Belhaven’s campus on March 1, 2022. Two interactive back-to-back workshops will be followed by a reception, keynote speaker presentation, and awarding of two $2,000 scholarships.
Deadline O
ctober 15
For more information, email Suzanne Durfey at suzanne@mschristianliving.com or email katie@mschristianliving.com mschristianliving.com ❘ SEPTEMBER 2021 7
OUTSIDE IN
by CHRIS BATES
What is your identity?
O
n a trip several years ago, we got to spend more than a week near San Cristobal, Nicaragua, digging ditches and working on other projects. My daughter and I met the rest of the team once we arrived in country. We anticipated that it would be a trip filled with adventure and opportunity — but had no idea of the real lessons that were before us. Many of the villages in the area were without a reliable drinking water source. Our team joined up with locals who already had the pathways and processes laid out for the projects. These combined-effort working groups now had laborers, plumbers and project leaders, 8 SEPTEMBER 2021 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
equipment carriers and support participants providing water and food for everyone. In total, we dug over five miles of pipe trenches connecting wells with junction points near homes throughout the village area. Without enough hands operating alongside the experienced locals, the projects could not have happened successfully. Throughout the days there, we spent time in the homes of some amazing families. They let us learn alongside and care for their children and help with building well-vented indoor kitchens. We witnessed how together, as a village, each person had a vital role in daily life. Some provided tortillas and prepared food five days
each week, while others farmed or made repairs or taught children. There seemed to be a wellrespected system where each individual used his or her own talents for the greater good and provision for the families nearby. We saw the lesson in there being shared work and support for one another so that others could thrive. The parts that we can play in our lives as believers are much the same. We are not expected to all have the same talents or contributions. In fact, our roles sometimes are not what we would have thought they would be, and most assuredly they will change in different seasons of life. They can also change in response to life’s challenges or experiences. The storyline holds true, though, that we each need others. Recovery from addiction is much the same, as I have witnessed it. It is not done successfully in solitude, and the experience of others who have been through the same pain can provide the solution. Addiction is a disease which requires lasting healing of mind, body and spirit. When one shares their own journey with others and seeks to serve, the giver benefits and the receivers thrive. Max Lucado said, “God is using today’s difficulties to strengthen you for tomorrow. He is equipping you. The God who makes things grow will help you bear fruit.” The same is true for living out our role against so many other challenges in life. 2 Corinthians 9:8 tells us, “And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.” We each have the ability to help pull someone into the lifeboat, having experienced being lost at sea and rescued ourselves. When we as villagers each do our part to serve one another, the tide then rises. What is your role? Your own story is infinitely valuable to the next person down the line. God needs every seat filled. Some are healers, some are knitters to clothe, some chefs to feed, mothers to care, or soldiers to march forward. What is your identity within His army? God can direct us and guide us, sometimes to very profound impacts, some of which we may have no idea about now. The challenge from that to each of us is to Listen, Follow and Serve. Y Chris Bates is CEO and co-founder of AgoraEversole a full-service marketing agency in Jackson, and can be reached at Chris@AgoraEversole.com. He and his wife, Stacy, and their children live in Madison.
mschristianliving.com ❘ SEPTEMBER 2021 9
MODERN MOTHERHOOD
by LIBBO CROSSWHITE
A spiritual wellness check for teens and adults
A
s mental health is finally being brought to the table and real conversations are starting to be had in living rooms, classrooms and counselors’ offices, it’s been incredibly encouraging to have real dialogue with teenagers as they navigate what it means to be mentally well. It’s challenged me to consider my own wellness (motherhood is perhaps the greatest test of mental stability out there), and to develop a conversation starter and resource for students, which I’d like to share with you below. My hope is that it’s a conversation starter for you personally, or as a family, as you start to have conversations in your own home. Oftentimes our mental health seems like it is unraveling before our eyes without any ability to control it, because we aren’t anchored to a calming, steady source. We can feel as if we are a passenger on a boat headed straight for a capsizing wave. For Christians, we have the unshakable, rock-solid belief that God has created us for a purpose on purpose, and this becomes our anchor in the heaviest of “storms” we may find ourselves in. This doesn’t “fix” our problems immediately, but it does center us back to the truth of who we were created to be. Let’s first look at what type of life we are living. Are we living a life marked by faith, or a life plagued with constant fear? Ultimately, by living in fear, we can find ourselves anxious, overwhelmed, sad, and/or doubtful. Because fear teaches us to think and believe the worst, we can find ourselves living our lives through the lens of fear without even realizing it.
Think about it: What are you afraid of ? What is your deepest fear? Take it ALLLL the way to the worst-case scenario. The Bible tells us 365 times in one way or another, “Do not be afraid.” There are 365 days in a year. Coincidence? Nope. We are the product of our thoughts! What do you think about on a daily basis? How often do you intentionally think about your daily thought pattern? This will help us truly take every thought captive as God’s Word calls us to do in 2 Corinthians 10:5. It’s one of many times we see God calling us to something so God can help us navigate this difficult world. Remember, God doesn’t just make us better. God makes us NEW! Each and every day.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17 Living in fear and living in faith have one thing in common: our belief in a future that hasn’t happened yet. So which one is it? It can’t be both! If we are living in fear, we are putting our faith in ourselves or something of this world. Ask yourself: Where are places on Earth that we put our faith in? Have you found complete satisfaction in these things? By living in faith, we are acknowledging our own inability to control the future. But how in the world do we do that? God’s Word shows us ways in which we can fully rely on God and see results/make decisions. If we believe the
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Word of God, we believe: • God created us. • God knows us. • God is with us. Psalm 91:9-16 says that if we know God, He will rescue us, protect us, answer us, be with us in trouble, honor us and deliver us, and show us salvation if we love Him. Those are some pretty big promises. Why does He say this? Because he KNOWS we will need to be protected, answered and rescued in times of trouble; He knows we will need reassurance when our flesh inevitably fails. What does it look like to live through the lens of faith? • Faith tells us that all things are working together for our good. (Romans 8:28) • Faith tells us that in this world we WILL have trouble. (John 16:33) • Faith tells us that nothing can separate us from the love of God. (Romans 8:38-39) • Faith tells us that “He is still good” even if He doesn’t “fix” our circumstances. (Daniel 3:18) • Faith tells us that our ultimate source of comfort is the great Sufferer Himself. (2 Corinthians 1:4) Low self-worth? Low understanding of
“Low self-worth? Low
understanding of faith? High anxiety? Where and how are you coping? Because you are in some way. What is it that you are running to when the fear strikes? Who are you relying on? … Ask yourself, ‘Am I going to the ultimate Source of comfort?’
”
faith? High anxiety? Where and how are you coping? Because you are in some way. What is it that you are running to when the fear strikes? Who are you relying on? We have to acknowledge the running tape in our brains that plays out the same scenario over and over. “Afraid, consumed, overwhelmed, so I will run, I will numb, I will distract.” Is this you? Ask yourself, “Am I going
to the ultimate Source of comfort?” Stop. Ask. Seek. Learn. Listen. With trusted friends or adults. With a licensed counselor. Remind yourself what God’s Word says over and over: You are not alone. Being emotionally healthy and connected to the world around you looks like bringing all that is in the dark into the light. Isaiah 9 reminds us that Jesus’ character is that of a Wonderful Counselor, and our best life can be marked by stepping out of the darkness into the light and freedom of being fully known and fully loved by Him. A life marked by joy is not without trouble; it’s a life with Jesus in our boat. What storms does Jesus need to take control of for you today? Y
Libbo Haskins Crosswhite and her husband, Clay, live in Madison and attend Pinelake. They have one daughter, Mary Thomas, who is 7 years old, and a son, Russell, who is 5 years old. She is the high school guidance counselor at Madison-Ridgeland Academy and can be emailed at lcrosswhite@mrapats.org.
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Ginny Owens Keynote Speaker and Worship Leader mschristianliving.com ❘ SEPTEMBER 2021 11
MISSION MISSISSIPPI MOMENTS
by VIKKI DILLON MUMFORD
Bearing with one another
I
n the midst of this season of suffering caused by the pandemic and post-pandemic, our community is saturated with forbearance opportunities. You may ask, “Why should we
forbear with one another?” In this era, the world says, “You gotta hang tough, man!” or, “You must pay the debt by the fifth of the month.” Meanwhile, the Word of God runs counter to the world’s standards. In light of continued social distancing, should we carry the disposition of spiritual distancing? Jesus Christ made it clear that for us to live a life that pleases Him, we must have genuine concern, care and cordiality for one another. The gift of Love must be received from God Almighty through His Son Jesus Christ. Scripture tells us in John 3:5-7 that we must be twice born in order for the Holy Spirit to take residence in our lives. The guidance of the Holy Spirit will determine how we walk, work, witness and worship. Our walk: Forbearance is a demonstration of patience, self-control and tolerance under provocation. It may come in the form of extra time allowed for a debtor to come up with an overdue payment. Scripture teaches, “What ye wish men do unto you, do ye also to them” (Matthew 7:12). We must love our neighbor as ourselves and keep unity and the bond of peace. To walk is to continuously make steps forward. Hence, our lifestyle must reflect truth and integrity. Our work: Forbearance involves work. It is a manifestation of graciously enduring the failures and shortcomings of one another without becoming angry or impatient. As hands and feet to do the Master’s work, we must not get weary or vengeful. There are plenty of hands reaching out for a lift up here on planet Earth, even within our neighborhood. As believers in Christ, we do good work because we are saved to build up God’s kingdom. We must forever be mindful of the debt Jesus paid. He came down from heaven to Earth to pay our sin debt so we can live with Him throughout eternity. Our witness: When we forbear with one another, we become a witness to others of the power of Jesus Christ in our lives. It has been
Back, from left: Betty Kinchen and Vikki Mumford. Front, from left: Patricia Thompson and Sarah Elliott.
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said, “People would rather see a sermon lived than to hear one preached any day.” In fact, our lives may be the only book that others read. As we forbear in love with one another, others will forbear with us! If we are merciful, others will be merciful to us. Our good deeds will glorify our Father in heaven. Our worship: Daily we have opportunities to forbear with someone in some small way. When you have the joy of Jesus in your heart, the JOY shows in your priorities: Jesus should always be first in your life. You will put Others above yourself; and you will have care and concern for Yourself last. Often, we choose to neglect daily serving others and would rather go to church for our weekly emotional high. But we must be generous with our time, flexible in our discipleship, selfless in service, and eternally focused with our treasures.
My Mission Mississippi moment Reflecting on forbearance, I am reminded of one of the tenants of Mission Mississippi, which is to live reconciled with one another. I recognize that while I am only one person, I can do something to make this world a better place and build up the body of Christ. One way to achieve this is to intentionally meet new people, show them love, listen to their stories, and evangelize to them when I can. In early summer 2021, following months of being quarantined, I called on one of my prayer partners, Sarah, who is of another race, to ask that we have a four-person lunch. Sarah introduced her friend Betty; then I introduced my In light of continued friend Patricia. We had a rich social distancing, discussion about the ironies of life should we carry the and found that we have so much disposition of spiritual in common. Our stories were so strikingly similar, we could hardly distancing? … we must believe we were once strangers. have genuine concern, Through our gathering — and care and cordiality for with Christ at the center — we one another. have learned that through mutual love, respect and prayer, we can dine together, laugh together, cry together and make intercession for one another. In sum, when we approach life with the same deep-abiding love and enthusiasm that every man is our brother, we will without hesitation forbear with one another. #BearingWithOneAnother Y
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Dr. BROWN and his staff are BRACING for a super football season from our current and future awesome patients! Remember to ALIGN yourself correctly, because you don’t want to be offsides any more than you want your teeth to be! It’s never too late to get teeth straight! Nowadays, 1 out of 5 orthodontic patients is an adult so no one is “too old” for braces. God bless and enjoy the fall weather coming soon!
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Vikki Dillon Mumford is a native Mississippian and one of 14 children born to Monroe and Laverne Dillon of Magnolia. She has been married to Alexander Mumford for 47 years. Together they have three sons: Jeffrey, Gerald and Jarrod. Vikki is a member of New Hope Baptist Church in Jackson and a retired court administrator with the U. S. District Court.
MEMBER OF THE AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF ORTHODONTISTS mschristianliving.com ❘ SEPTEMBER 2021 13
THIS IS MY STORY
by ANTONIO MACK
How I misused my talents, and how God changed my path
A
Antonio Mack is a Jackson native and disciple of Jesus. His ministry focuses on inspiring others to live in pursuit of God. He is also a proud husband, father to-be and graphic designer.
14 SEPTEMBER 2021 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
s far back as I can recall, I’ve always been creative and ambitious. First were the music years, which began in my youth and lasted until my early adulthood. During this time, I released three mixtapes, performed shows, had articles written about me, and even gained a special fan who became my wife. Then there were the photography years, which started in my teens. In this time, I became the lead photographer for a university, traveled across the country to teach a workshop of students, did work for multiple magazines, and attained many other achievements. In addition, by the time I was 23, I had created multiple businesses, initiatives and groups that had all done great. In every phase of life, I always found myself creating, accomplishing goals, and establishing new things. It was something that was just a part of me. It was so easy for me to begin something new and excel in it that the thought of ending something never even bothered me because I knew I could always do an entirely new thing. This, however, caused me to ponder: How many times would I start a new endeavor, and why was I always so driven and successful in whatever I did, yet never satisfied enough to remain in it? The answer began unfolding one morning while I was at the pinnacle of my success. It was during my time as a photographer, when I was a few months into my journey of seeking God deeply for the first time, that something strange happened. I heard God speak clearly to me, and His words were striking. He told me to stop doing photography. What was even more strange was that without a struggle, I stopped that day and never booked another appointment. Years went by, and out of a desire to make more income, I did photography again. I did that thing that I was so great at doing. I began another business, only this time, I did it with my wife! We had a specific financial goal that we were after. A few months into the business, God surprisingly blessed us with a financial increase of the exact amount that we had created the business for — only He did it through another avenue. I couldn’t help but ask myself, what was God trying to tell me, and why did I have these talents and abilities if God would continue forbidding me to use them? I even started to wonder if I had them in vain. Then one day it all began to make sense. These talents and abilities weren’t pointless; they were simply misguided. All along, I’d been using the things God had gifted me with for worldly ambitions. I had used them for money, success and even sin, but rarely for God. What was true of God knowing Jeremiah and having a purpose for him before his conception was also true of me, but I was unaware of what this purpose was. This had led to a life of creating my own paths for how my talents were to be used. The reality was, I hadn’t really looked at how I wanted the days of my life to be consumed, and more importantly, I hadn’t looked at how God wanted the days of my life to be consumed. So for the last time, I shut down another business, but this time with a clear understanding of why I was given the ability to create a business in the first place. I finally saw that God had given me all these abilities for His glory, and I found ways to use my creativity and ambitions to help spread the gospel! This includes producing media to inspire believers in their walks with God, and applying skills that I’ve learned in business for operational things in ministry. I’ve also been assigned to do photography and media projects for a missions organization that I’m serving with. My first project is scheduled for spring 2022 in west Africa. My story is not unique. God has a purpose for us all, and if you too look closely, you might discover how the measures of grace that God gives us can be misguided and used for the wrong reasons. Y
If you aren’t sure whether you have a relationship with God or where you’ll go when you die, please don’t put this magazine down until you’ve read the following:
✝ THE PROBLEM
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God. – Romans 3:23 For the wages of sin is death… – Romans 6:23a The natural result and consequence of our sin is eternal death, or hell (Revelation 20:15), separated from God. This is because God is completely perfect and holy (Matthew 5:48), and His justice demands that sin be punished (Proverbs 11:21).
✝ THE SOLUTION
…but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. – Romans 6:23b But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Romans 5:8 Jesus Christ died in our place on the cross and took on the punishment for all our sins (Isaiah 53:4-6). Then God raised Him from the dead (John 20)!
✝ HOW TO RECEIVE SALVATION
If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. – Romans 10:9
✝ IS IT FOR ANYONE?
Trust in what Jesus has done for you — His death for your sins and His resurrection — and trust Him as Lord.
✝ THE RESULTS
For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. – Romans 10:13
Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. – Romans 5:1 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:38-39
✝ WHAT TO DO NEXT
So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. – Romans 10:17 If you decided to trust in Jesus, grow in your faith by reading more of God’s Word in the Bible. We recommend the gospel of John (it comes just after Luke) as a good starting point — or Romans! Finding a church close to you that teaches faith in Christ is another important step. It’s crucial to spend time with other believers so we can encourage each other in our faith. If you have questions about anything on this page, please contact us at 601.896.1432, or send us a message on Facebook @MSChristianLiving, Instagram @mschristianmag or Twitter @MSChristLiving. mschristianliving.com ❘ SEPTEMBER 2021 15
COVER STORY
by KATIE EUBANKS
John and Helaina
DAMON ‘God always provides’
Y
Ou NEVER ExPECT SOMEBOdY’S SALVATION STORY TO INVOLVE A HOuSE FIRE.
John Damon, CEO of Canopy Children’s Solutions in Jackson, describes how he wound up coming to faith in Jesus: “We were a very tightknit extended family, 18 of us taking vacations twice a year ... When I was 10, my grandfather developed alcoholism. (That) led to my parents divorcing when I was 10. “My mom (was getting job training), Dad had moved to Texas, and we were at the house with a babysitter when a lamp(shade) caught fire, and our house burned down to the ground.” All the humans got out in time, but the family lost everything, including an English sheepdog named Pete “that was kind of my anchor through (the divorce),” John says. However, he soon found the anchor for his soul: “I’d grown up at First Presbyterian (Church of Jackson), went to First Presbyterian Day School … but I didn’t know Jesus. A man named Uncle Hank, who was an artist who told the gospel story through pastel drawings on flip charts, came and presented to our school ... (And) for the first time I realized if I had been the only person on the planet, Jesus would’ve come for me. … all the things I knew in my head got pressed in my heart.” That wasn’t the first time God provided for John and his wife, Helaina, who joins him for this interview at their home in Madison — and it wouldn’t be the last.
Lifelong friends In sixth grade, John left First Pres and attended public school for the first time, at McLeod Elementary in Jackson. “I had no network of friends,” he recalls. But that didn’t last long. That year, he met Jody Elder, whose family took John under their wing. John, Jody and a 16 SEPTEMBER 2021 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
John and Helaina on their wedding day in March 1993, which coincided with the Storm of the Century. They had a snowball fight after the rehearsal dinner.
few other boys wound up forming a small group that lasted through high school. Four of the five attended Mississippi College together, and they maintain an active group chat to this day. “We all learned to love Jesus together and to stand up to all the peer pressure not to roll in that way. That group of friends were such a protective factor and catalyst for growth (for me),” John says. Jody’s dad, who was head of Youth for Christ Jackson at the time, “was instrumental (in my spiritual growth),” John says. “He wouldn’t just give you the answer. He’d get you to search and point you to resources.” John and Jody “had a great 2-on-2 (basketball) game,” John says, and Jody’s dad took them to “the Boys (& Girls) Club in downtown Jackson darn near every day” in the summer. “We’d be the only two white guys there. We developed some friendships with those guys. “(We) learned how to not be isolated from the world around you.” As for his basketball skills, John admits, “Jody by far carried the weight. I could just pass well.”
The honeymoon that didn’t happen John was supposed to play baseball at Mississippi State University, but his mother was ill. Helaina, born and raised in Bogalusa, Louisiana, started at Louisiana State University but “didn’t much like that,” John says. So, “we
PHOTO BY STEGALL IMAGERY
SOCIAL MEDIA, SUICIDE AND PARENTING “Nowadays (with social media, a hurtful comment) lives on, and people pile on — I couldn’t tell you how many suicides it’s led to (among youth),” John says. Specifically, a study published in February in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence found that girls who used social media for at least two to three hours daily starting at 13 years old — and then greatly increased their use over time, as teens often do — were at higher risk for suicide as emerging adults. Ultimately, healing in Christ is the answer. On a tangible level, monitoring and possibly limiting teens’ social media use can help. And peers can help other peers, John says. “There are five words that can change the world: ‘Will you sit with me?’” If your teen is behaving strangely, remember, “Parents are the best expert of their kid,” John says. “When they notice they’re not themselves … Trust your instinct when something’s not right. When you see a difference in their ability to function, their relationships with friends and family … withdrawal from things they used to be interested in … you’ve got to act.” *For more tips on suicide prevention, whether your teen has threatened suicide or not, read Dr. Fred Hall’s “Tough Questions” column on page 29. mschristianliving.com ❘ SEPTEMBER 2021 17
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pastry hanging on the door,” John says. The next day, they followed a truck driver to the interstate, and finally reached the driveway to their cabin in Dahlonega around midnight. The driveway sloped downhill. After making it down the icy driveway, they saw a sign on the cabin door: “Closed due to inclement weather.” “We’re listening to the radio,” Helaina says, “and there’s all these people that are dying from hypothermia and stuff, getting trapped.” Against her wishes, John climbed up the hill to a house with one candle in a window, to try and get help. She didn’t want him to leave her, and the house looked like it belonged in a horror movie, she says. “I was just boo-hooing crying in the car.” John quips: “It was exactly how I envisioned my honeymoon.” When he finally returned after nobody answered the door at the horror house, he and Helaina heard a truck — which to them “sounded like a host of angels,” he says. The driver had chains on his tires and pulled their car back up the hill. “On the way home, just for completion’s sake … we stayed at the Budgetel,” Helaina says. “We kept saying we would go (on a honeymoon) the next year, or the next, but we kept having children.” Their goal is to visit Iceland for their 30th anniversary in 2023. But they’ve learned to be flexible.
‘She was right’ As he was choosing careers, John wanted to
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Canopy Children’s Solutions offers
both landed at Mississippi College.” John and Helaina hung out in groups for about a year. Then one night, they met up at the former Ellis Isle Cinema in Jackson to see the dollar movie with mutual friends — but none of those friends came. Showtime was fast approaching. “And that was before cell phones,” Helaina notes. John asked if she still wanted to see the movie. She said sure. “It was ‘Funny Farm,’ with Chevy Chase — which was kind of prophetic (because we’ve had so many animals throughout our marriage),” John says. “I thought, ‘I would be such a cheapskate if I didn’t pay for the dollar movie.’ So I said, ‘I’ve got it.’ Then I thought, ‘Wait, does that make this a date?’” After the movie, they went to Shoney’s and split a sundae. (John paid for that too.) Six years later, during his second year of grad school, they got married in Bogalusa — in March 1993, during the Storm of the Century, an epic winter storm that ravaged the eastern United States. Bogalusa got 18 inches of snow. “We lost power during the rehearsal dinner, and we came out and had the greatest snowball fight,” John says. They tried and failed to make it to their honeymoon destination, a cabin in Dahlonega, Georgia. “Our first night, we got as far as Meridian, and they wouldn’t let us go any further, and our first night was at Budgetel,” Helaina says. “The breakfast that was included was a
make a difference in children’s lives, as others Baptist Church in Madison. “We begin each senior meeting (at had done for him. Canopy) in prayer. In every aspect of every “I thought I’d do that as a pediatrician. But decision, it is about leaning into the wisdom then through wise counsel from others, I shifted of God,” John says. to counseling. I got my bachelor’s and went to Church groups offer Bible studies and Reformed Theological Seminary and got my worship time at Canopy, and they take any master’s in marriage and family counseling.” kids to church who want to go. His number one goal after finishing “We have to keep a very clear line,” he says. his master’s? “We can’t proselytize or require (kids to “To call (Helaina’s) dad and say, ‘I can get a attend worship or study the Bible). But that job. I can support your daughter.’” on-ramp is there for every kid (who wants it).” He even had a job offer. “It was a great job,” Behavioral and mental health are he says. challenging issues for anyone, but especially “It wasn’t great,” Helaina counters. children, whose brains aren’t fully developed. “Well, when you’re in your early 20s and Add the possibility of foster care and/or you need a job — it adoption, and it’s a sounded great.” recipe for trauma. The job was out of When dealing with a town. Helaina looked traumatized child, through classified ads sometimes it’s hard to and found a different see change happening. job opening, this one “You celebrate very in Jackson. She urged A Canopy client carved this sign and gave it to John — not knowing COURTESY CANOPY CHILDREN’S SOLUTIONS small changes,” John John to call. just how much of a “sign” it would be later! says. “‘He’s still cussing, he’s still not doing his “I said, ‘No, I’m homework,’ but maybe a month later, they got done with the job interview process. I’m “It was where God wanted you. Told you!” their homework done. going to call this (other job) and accept it,’” he Helaina says. “There’s a long narrative of redemption. recalls. “And she had never pulled the ‘God’s MCL would be remiss if we didn’t include Just look at Israel,” he says. “Butterflies don’t telling me something’ card before, but she John’s response for the record: “She was right.” happen from caterpillars overnight. But our said, ‘God’s telling me you need to call logo is a butterfly because we believe change this number.’ ‘Change can happen’ can happen.” “At that point I just got asinine and Canopy Children’s Solutions helps kids cynical. I said, ‘OK, if they can interview me dealing with autism, behavioral and mental Carpe diem today, I’ll go.’” health issues, adoption and foster care, and Early in his career at Canopy, John He called the number — and interviewed that more. Canopy is a nonsectarian organization, counseled a girl “who had a difficult history of day for a therapist position, which he got, at the John says, but its first five CEOs were ministers, abuse and had never really been able to talk organization now known as Canopy Children’s and the sixth served in church leadership. John about it,” he says. Solutions. Now 28 years later, he’s the CEO. and Helaina are active members of Broadmoor “One day they had a difficult flashback-type mschristianliving.com ❘ SEPTEMBER 2021 19
Lifelong friends, from left: Tom Doty, John Damon, Jody Elder, Brad James and Stu Keyes.
Toby is the latest addition to the Damon household, which includes six cats (two indoor, four outdoor) and two dogs.
From left: Helaina, John, Drew (holding cat Leo), Demi, Darby (in pink), David, Mary Carol (David’s wife), Brantley (Dean’s wife), and Dean Damon.
The Damons at David and Mary Carol’s wedding.
John and his childhood friends still talk multiple times a week and travel together. A year ago, they did a family “Q&A” (above right) about childhood anecdotes.
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says) ‘What can I get you guys to drink?’ And I look up and it’s (the girl who made the sign). “She was assistant manager. She was doing awesome. But I hadn’t seen her (in 20 years). (I’d) been praying for affirmation that this (CEO job) was what I’m supposed to do. And here she is.” John got to tell her that her sign was the only item not in a box in his office — and, that he was about to accept the CEO position. “God’s been clear, which is really good — ’cause I need clarity,” he says, laughing.
The Damons at Dean and Brantley’s wedding.
moment out on the playground. (We) ended up talking through it, and she worked through it in a beautiful way with her family. There was a lot of healing and restoration.” The girl had watched the movie “The Dead Poet’s Society,” which featured the Latin phrase “Carpe diem,” or “Seize the day.” For her, that came to mean, “I don’t need to look back and be depressed, and I don’t need to look forward and be anxious — I need to be in the moment,” John says. When she was discharged from Canopy, she made a wooden sign bearing the words “Carpe diem” and gave it to John, who hung it over the door in his office. Twenty years later, Canopy moved into a new building on Lakeland Drive. “And we knew we might have a shuffle of office, so I didn’t unpack,” John says. “The only item I unpacked was (her sign). I get choked up talking about this.” At the time, he’d been walking through a yearlong interview process for the CEO position. He’d loved working directly with kids, but he’d seen that he was able to effect change on a larger level in administrative roles. “So I’m at lunch with the board president to do the final acceptance (of the CEO job) or not, and someone comes up to the table (and
‘Don’t overextend yourself’ In addition to clarity, any believer working hard in their field needs self-care. Helaina, a home health nurse, says, “Caregiver fatigue is a real thing.” When asked how she avoids burnout, she says, “I just love what I do. It’s filling for me to do my job. I love home health because you get to actually know the person, know their family … ” “Their extended family … ” John adds with a laugh. However, “we have learned in our old age, don’t overextend yourself,” Helaina says. “If it’s not joyful, you need to stop.” For instance, John says, if he hadn’t “backed off of certain things,” he wouldn’t be able to serve on a task force that’s overseeing an investigation of the allegations of sexual abuse in the Southern Baptist Convention.* “(The investigation is) so important for the survivors and for God’s church,” he says. Meanwhile, at Canopy, “the issue we try to keep in front of our organization, and me personally — we start every meeting with a mission moment. … The bigger the disconnect between your why and your what, the more fatigue you’re going to have.” The past 18 months of the COVID-19
pandemic have been tough. “I’ve had long seasons of not taking care of myself physically, walking, (but) I’m getting back into that and love it,” John says. In addition, “I’ve found a great help in my small group. And (Helaina and I are) in a small group together.” John also loves to read and is learning Hebrew, which he calls his “COVID hobby.” Helaina has worked more than normal during COVID but has loved being there for her patients, and while driving to their homes throughout Mississippi, she enjoys listening to podcasts. At least one good thing has come out of the COVID-19 crisis, John says: “Those who weren’t sure if mental health was a real thing — we have leapfrogged that stigma by 10 years.”
PBJ and God’s provision Whether during COVID or otherwise, God has never failed to provide the proverbial ram in the thicket, John says. When he was a kid, “if y’all needed a hundred dollars to pay some bill, didn’t know how you would pay it, just out of the blue someone would provide the exact amount,” Helaina points out. Later, when she and John had a family and their wallets were thin, they might make a meal out of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but “the numbers always worked out,” John says. Through tragedies, accidents, storms and pandemics, one thing has remained the same for the Damon’s: “God always provides.” Y *For more information about the task force and the investigation, visit sataskforce.net.
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FEATURE STORY
by ANNA CLAIRE O’CAIN
Providing jobs, changing lives in the Delta
J
came to see me where I was pastoring a ust a couple months from now, one of MCL’s favorite missions organizations will celebrate church, First Baptist Jackson. He wanted to get us involved in his work. its 10th anniversary. But God Ministries So I went down there and saw what (BGM) started its work in Haiti and has since was going on and came back and God expanded into the Jonestown community, located gave a vision,” Stan says. near Clarksdale in the Mississippi That vision, because of Delta, where an exciting economic Stan’s faith and obedience, development project is in the works. flourished into the 501c3 Below you can read how BGM nonprofit organization began, what the organization is doing that is now known as But now, and how lives are being changed God Ministries. in Jonestown. Most importantly, if you “The way we could or someone you know has a business help was by building a that could offer employment in the sustainable community Jonestown area, BGM would love to from scratch,” Stan says. partner with companies throughout Amber Gray serves as “There were hundreds of Mississippi and beyond! BGM’s Jonestown Community Director in thousands of people living in tent cities at the time.” How it began the Mississippi Delta. As a result of the vision “But God ... ” Those are the God spoke to Stan, he and his team words that God whispered to the heart of pastor were able to construct 40 houses, a Stan Buckley as he saw firsthand the effects of a medical and dental clinic, a church, deadly natural disaster. missionary housing, agricultural plots “It began with the earthquake (in Haiti) in and water wells. “We would move 2010. A guy who was doing some work in Haiti people out of the tent cities into this brand-new community,” he says. Shortly after this work started, Stan felt God moving him to full-time ministry with BGM as the founder and executive director. With offices in Ridgeland, BGM seeks to continue pursuing that same mission that God revealed to Stan some years ago.
The Galmore Group (women in center) is the first business to locate at BGM’s Center for Economic Development Business Incubator. From left: BGM Executive Director Stan Buckley, Tasheena and Lillian Galmore, Galmore Group owner Cassie Galmore, Kaitlyn Galmore, and CEDbi Director Rev. Bennie Brown.
Providing employment
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“Thinking outside the box” is something Amber Gray and her team members strive to do in their work with BGM. Amber serves as the Jonestown Community Director in the Mississippi Delta. From projects in Haiti all the way to Jonestown, Amber says, BGM seeks to promote sustainable communities through their initiative known as SPHERES, focusing on Spiritual needs, Physical needs, H2O, Education, Roofs (housing), Economic development, and Soil (farming and agriculture). This unique approach has allowed BGM to serve the people of Haiti and Jonestown in multiple capacities. “One of the things that I love about BGM is their presence … wanting to embed themselves into the community,” Amber says. One recent way BGM has been able to do this for the community of Jonestown is through their
Center for Economic Development Business Incubator, also known as CEDbi. “Right now, we have The Galmore Group inside of our business incubator — that is our first business,” Amber says. “(BGM) has assisted a young lady (the owner of The Galmore Group) with payroll, workers’ compensation, all of the things to make sure her business functions. She has a contract with a group out of Jackson (to) package screws.” Because of the CEDbi, BGM has been able to provide the means for a young woman and Jonestown native to grow her business, while also providing employment for multiple residents of Jonestown. “Whereas those four or five individuals were not previously employed, they are now able to have full-time employment, and they actually live across the street from where they work,” Amber says. In addition to serving as the base for The
College in neighboring Clarksdale to provide forklift training free of charge. Amber and her team members at BGM hope to partner with more businesses and individuals through the CEDbi to provide even more opportunities for the community of Jonestown.
A life changed
Galmore Group employee Alice Jefferson packages screws at BGM’s Center for Economic Development Business Incubator.
Galmore Group, the CEDbi is also a place exploding with opportunity for many other businesses and individuals. Amber says, “We have also partnered with Ole Miss. We have held a business seminar, providing the steps of opening a business, making sure to go through those steps properly, and also providing additional resources. “We also have another course that we are able to enroll up-and-coming business owners or current business owners in, to make sure they are understanding how to manage their business.” In addition, Amber shared that the CEDbi has partnered with Coahoma Community
“A lovely place to work” is how Jonestown native Alice Jefferson describes her workplace at the CEDbi. Following a two-month training, Alice began working this summer with The Galmore Group, packaging screws and aiding in distribution of products to various companies. “Me and my team members keep it going all day for hours,” she chuckles. When asked what her job and the business incubator partnership mean to her, she says, “It’s good for me because I’m right here in Jonestown and the love we have there. We don’t have any problems. Everything is just fun working — no stress, no nothing. “You have that smile every morning you go in — it never stops since I’ve been working there.” Alice also appreciates the spiritual component of the CEDbi. “It’s fun, the prayer. If you need someone to be there for you, (see) Rev. Brown,” she says about pastor and CEDbi Director Bennie Brown. “He is that person that would listen (as) you explain things to him, and you know he will give you his thoughts about it.” Alice has never worked at a place like The Galmore Group before. Because of BGM and their obedience to Christ in establishing the CEDbi, Alice’s and many others’ lives have been changed.
Quick facts about BGM’s work in the Delta:
◆ Began work in Jonestown, Mississippi, in 2016 ◆ Completed 6,000-square-foot Hope Center for visiting ministry teams in Jonestown in 2017 ◆ Legal clinic with University of Mississippi School of Law ◆ Dental clinic opened in December 2018 ◆ Montessori School for 2- to 5-year-olds ◆ High-school diploma program for adults ◆ Housing program to help residents become homeowners with their own mortgages ◆ Medical clinic refurbished ◆ Economic Development Center built in 2020 ◆ 500-700 mission trip participants each year ◆ Partnerships with local churches for evangelism and discipleship ◆ Countless Bible studies, worship services and vacation Bible school activities To partner with BGM’s economic development project, email Stan Buckley at stanbuckley@butgodministries.com. For more information about the 10th Anniversary Celebration, email Dina Ray at dinaray@butgodministries.com. Y Anna Claire O’Cain is a Scott County native, former English teacher, and current grad student in the clinical mental health counseling program at Liberty University. She is married to her best friend, J.T., who is a teacher and youth pastor. Most of all, she is a believer who is passionate about serving God through missions and worship. Through MCL, she is able to use her love for writing to serve the Lord in a new way.
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FOOD FOR THOUGHT
by CAMILLE MORRIS
Holiday not required
N
o need to wait for Thanksgiving or Christmas to prepare special meals for family and friends. These days, any opportunity to get together and share a meal is a reason for
celebration. Here are some Morris family favorites that we enjoy throughout the year.
Y
ADDIE’S SWEET POTATO BISCUITS
MARINATED FLANK STEAK
BILL’S FAVORITE PECAN PIE
This recipe was handed down through Bill’s grandmother, Mrs. Webster Millsaps Buie, affectionately known as Boo, who had a strong spiritual influence on her children and grandchildren. Addie, the Buie family cook, prepared many wonderful meals for them. She always served these biscuits with crisp bacon, half a grapefruit, and a cup of strong black coffee.
Flank steak is a versatile main dish that is fancy enough for guests but economical enough to serve to family anytime. Pair with a potato or rice dish and a green vegetable, such as asparagus or bacon-wrapped whole green beans, for a highly satisfying meal.
I was given this recipe years ago when Bill and I first married. Of all my recipes, I have made this one the most. I have given it for Christmas presents, birthday presents (at requests), and it is on my sideboard every Thanksgiving and Christmas. It is a go-to for welcoming neighbors or comforting friends, and also serves as a great way to make a regular weekday dinner something special. Enjoy!
1½ cups cooked sweet potatoes (about 3 potatoes) ⅓ cup sugar ¾ cup buttermilk ½ stick butter (or more if desired) 2 cups plain flour 1 tablespoon baking powder 1 teaspoon salt
Cook sweet potatoes, peel and mash. While hot, add sugar, a little butter and buttermilk. Stir well. Sift together flour, baking powder and salt. Slowly add dry ingredients to the sweet potato mixture. (The dough will be very soft). Make sure dough is blended well. Add more flour to dough if needed. Place dough on board and gently roll to about ¾-inch thick. Cut biscuits with biscuit cutter and place on a cookie sheet covered with parchment paper. Brush tops of biscuits with butter and bake at 425 degrees until done.
24 SEPTEMBER 2021 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
Lean flank steak (may also be labeled “London broil”) Garlic salt Seasoned pepper Willingham’s seasoning (or your favorite) Good Seasons Zesty Italian dressing Lea & Perrins Worcestershire Sauce Lemon Tabasco sauce Garlic cloves
Put steak in large zip-lock bag and pound well with a meat mallet to tenderize. Remove steak from bag. Season with garlic salt, seasoned pepper, Willingham’s and any other favorite seasonings. Rub in well. Mix 1 cruet of Italian dressing. Add about 4 shakes of Worcestershire, the juice of one freshly squeezed lemon, and a small amount of Tabasco. Including whole garlic cloves in the marinade will give it good flavor. Marinate steak in mixture overnight. Preheat grill on high. When ready, place steak on grill. Depending on size of steak, cook about 5 minutes. Turn and cook another 5 or so minutes. Continue this process, checking for doneness. Cross in opposite directions to create attractive grill marks. Slice diagonally.
1 1 3 3 3 1 ¼ 1
cup sugar cup light Karo syrup eggs tablespoons flour tablespoons melted butter teaspoon vanilla teaspoon salt cup whole pecans (may use pieces if you prefer)
Beat eggs slightly. Add all other ingredients except pecans and mix well. Line pie plate with unbaked pie crust (I buy mine). With fork, put holes in pie crust and add pecans to unbaked pie shell. Pour mixture into pie shell. Bake at 350 degrees for 55 minutes. Y
A longtime resident of Jackson, Camille Morris is the wife of Bill Morris ( featured on page 26), a mother of two, and a grandmother of five. She and Bill are active members of Holy Trinity Anglican Church.
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LAGNIAPPE
by KATIE EUBANKS
How God introduced a Jackson man to his musical heroes
I
n the 1950s and ‘60s, Jacksonian Bill Morris fell in love with doo-wop music. He listened to groups like The Drifters
(known for “Under the Boardwalk” and “This Magic Moment”), The Moonglows, and Vicksburg-based band The Red Tops, who performed at many of the dances Bill attended. Decades later, Bill got to meet his musical heroes, sing with them, and even form lasting friendships. And just as he’d memorized the way their voices sounded on his favorite records, he learned to recognize and listen to another Voice and its divine assignments.
‘We’ll back you up!’
with The Moonglows, and his whole voice changed.” That led to a deep friendship that spanned three decades. Bill helped Prentiss reconnect with other members of The Moonglows, enjoy a more stable quality of life, and receive the recognition he deserved. In the coming years, a healthier and happier Prentiss and the other original Moonglows received a string of honors, all with Bill by their side.
‘Accept it. Receive it.’ Bill also became close with Harvey Fuqua, an original member of The Moonglows and highly successful arranger, record producer and executive who’d discovered Marvin Gaye and helped Berry Gordy establish Motown Records. One day at church in the early 2000s, Bill heard that inaudible divine Voice in his spirit again: “Bill, I want you to call Harvey and tell him how much I love him. I want you to tell him that Prentiss loves him and that you love him.” Decades earlier, Harvey and Prentiss had had a falling out, and their relationship had cooled. Bill called Harvey and relayed the message.
In 1980, Bill attended a performance by The Moonglows in Washington, D.C. (The Moonglows preceded and influenced The Dells, The Spinners and The Temptations.) At intermission, Bill visited the singers in their dressing room, where he wound up singing with them a cappella on a song called “Daddy’s Home.” Turns out, Bill can sing. After the impromptu performance, Bobby Lester — the only original Moonglow in the group, and the lead singer at the time — said, “You’ve got to do that number (onstage) and we’ll back you up!” Bill had never considered himself a singer, and politely but firmly declined. But during the second half of the show, Bobby introduced Bill to the audience – and then the group started the opening to Prentiss Barnes on the front page of The “Daddy’s Home,” with one mic Clarion-Ledger in 1981, shortly before Bill unattended. They beckoned Bill onstage. met him. “It was like God pushed me out of the chair,” he says. Afterward, Bill marveled, “Lord, did I really sing with The Moonglows?” Then, not audibly but in his spirit, he heard God answer: “It’s about My glory, and I’ll reveal it in due time.”
In 2001, twenty years after they met, Bill and Prentiss appeared on Mississippi E-TV. From left: Bill, Mississippi Public Broadcasting host Evelyn Harris, Prentiss, and WJTV journalist Melanie Christopher.
Harvey’s response: “What am I supposed to do with that?” “Accept it. Receive it,” Bill said. The dark side Apparently, Harvey listened. of the moon “His attitude totally changed when he and Barnes of One year later, Jackson’s From left, Bill Pinkney of The Drifters, Bill Morris, Prentiss Prentiss met up (at an awards show) soon The Moonglows, and Rufus McKay of The Red Tops. Clarion Ledger newspaper after,” Bill says. ran a front-page story on Prentiss Barnes, one of the original When Prentiss passed away, Harvey thanked Bill for the role he’d Moonglows, who now lived in Jackson. Prentiss had not performed with played in their lives: “Bill, I’m fairly certain if you hadn’t come along, The Moonglows in Washington. He’d lost an arm in a car accident, was Prentiss and I would never have gotten (back) together.” an alcoholic and had lost all hope. When Bill read the article, he heard that Voice in his spirit again: ‘I didn’t know people cared’ “God let me know that Prentiss was the reason I sang with The Bill reconnected with Rufus McKay, lead singer for The Red Tops, Moonglows, and that I was to take care of him,” Bill says. So, he reached after hiring the group to play for his 40th high-school reunion. The Red out to the singer. “(Prentiss) didn’t want to talk. Then I told him I’d sung Tops never made it “big” but were a popular dance band around the 26 SEPTEMBER 2021 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
PHOTO BY NANCY PERKINS
After The Moonglows were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2000, Prentiss Barnes eventually gave his statuette to Bill. It remains one of his most treasured possessions.
Southeast. Bill used the opportunity to talk to Rufus about moving back home. He was living in Carson City, Nevada. “(I said) ‘Why don’t you come back to Mississippi where people know and love you?’” Eventually he did, and their friendship grew. One day, Rufus called Bill and “said he was totally out of money,” Bill recalls. “He had never asked me for anything.” Bill asked a local music blogger to send out a call for money to help Rufus, along with any notes or cards of encouragement. “Somehow close to $8,000 came in, with cards of appreciation for him, which overwhelmed Rufus, his voice cracking between sobs, saying he didn’t know people cared like this.”
‘I really miss them’ “When a human being knows that people care about them … it changes their whole life,” Bill says. “Prentiss had one foot in the grave when I first met him. Knowing that so many genuinely loved him and respected his accomplishments meant the world to him. When he was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2000, he looked younger than when I met him in 1981.” Along the way, Bill got to feed his passion for music by attending industry events, meeting Read more of Bill’s story in his book, iconic singers, singing at Boston Symphony “This Magic Moment,” Hall with The Moonglows, and even producing available via Amazon two gospel CDs with The Original Drifters. Bill and at Lemuria Books Pinkney, lead singer of the group, was another in Jackson. of Bill’s closest friends. One day in 2007, Bill felt led to visit Bill Pinkney at home in South Carolina. Two months later, Pinkney died of a heart attack. Bill was honored to speak and sing at the funerals for all four of his famous friends. More important than any of these opportunities were the friendships themselves, Bill says. “To this day, I really miss them.” Bill is amazed how these friendships came about and continued under God’s sovereign hand: “Through the years, I have learned to trust that Voice even more. There’s nobody who could’ve created this except our heavenly Father.” Y mschristianliving.com ❘ SEPTEMBER 2021 27
HEALTH & WELLNESS
by CHRIS FIELDS
Confessing my struggle with bulimia
T
he Bible admonishes us to confess our sins to one another. This is a Christian discipline we are all reluctant to
For the majority of my adulthood, I struggled with an eating disorder known as bulimia nervosa. This disorder is defined as an emotional one involving a distortion of body image and an obsessive desire to lose practice, for the sake of perceived shame and potential judgment weight. What drove my obsession was me growing up a heavier child from fellow brothers and sisters, but the reason Christ urges us to practice and always being classified as husky or overweight. At one point in my this discipline is because it keeps the confessor humble — and Christ childhood, I developed high blood pressure and high strengthens the weak, not the strong. It’s the meek who cholesterol due to my poor dietary habits. I never ate inherit the earth, and it’s Christ who makes them fruits or veggies and hardly ate proteins that weren’t strong enough to do so. I was admonishing fried or full of bad fats and sodium. I’ve been writing these wellness columns for the My saving grace was that I was an active child better part of a year now, from a place of strength. I’ve Christians on the involved in sports through the early part of my been writing as someone with expertise garnered sinful choices they adulthood, and the better I got at sports, the more I through studies and experience as a health would be involved, and the more I was involved, the professional serving people with diseases in the made with their more physical activity I engaged in, which helped me metabolic cluster. I’ve never written from a place of bodies … when I shed weight and caused my high blood pressure and humility or from a place that may be relatable to most. wasn’t honoring Him high cholesterol to go into remission. I’ve never written from a place of brokenness and The problem with my newfound body image, weakness, never from a place of strength in Christ. in mine. though, was the fact that I began to warrant attention It’s common for someone whom others look to for from women, and the more attention I got, the more advice to be perceived as being above reproach, but I craved it. At this point, losing this new body image we need help just as much as anyone. The health was not an option, so I did whatever it took to keep excess weight off. industry (like any other) is filled with professionals who don’t follow The problem was, I still had poor dietary habits, so I would eat my fill of their own advice. I know because at one point I was one of them, and in the foods I enjoyed and vomit them back up so I wouldn’t suffer the some cases I still am. consequences. This lasted most of my adulthood. Jesus delivered me, and He did it instantly. To make a long story short, one day I was bulimic and the next day I wasn’t. He showed me my hypocritical thought processes, which led to my choices, which led to my struggle with bulimia nervosa. I was serving as a health educator and diabetes educator and helping those who suffered like I did, but without confessing my own sufferings. I was passionately admonishing Christians on the sinful choices they made with their bodies, and how they weren’t honoring God in those choices, when I wasn’t honoring Him in mine. I was extremely ashamed of my choices, even after my deliverance. So one evening I was at the gym, and it was one of those evenings I really didn’t feel like going, but I got up and went anyway. There was a guy there whom I would see infrequently and speak to in passing, but this evening he decided to talk. During our talk, the Lord made me realize how I was ashamed of Him in my deliverance — not of what He’d delivered me from. He had granted me victory and I was ashamed to admit it. I was ashamed to give Him glory. It’s probably the most shameful experience I’ve gone through, but in our most shameful experiences, Christ gets the most glory when we give them to Him and rest in His strength. You all are getting to experience my rest in Him. This is my first public confession of one of my many experiences of His deliverance. Y
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*Editor’s note: Bulimia nervosa is different than anorexia nervosa, which is characterized by extreme thinness due to starvation and excessive exercise. People with bulimia nervosa can appear healthy looking but will go to extreme measures to maintain their physical appearance.
Chris Fields is the founder and executive director of H.E.A.L. Mississippi and a graduate in kinesiology with advance studies in nutrition. He serves as a clinical exercise physiologist/CPT and is credentialed in Exercise Is Medicine through American College of Sports Medicine. 28 SEPTEMBER 2021 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
TOUGH QUESTIONS
by DR. FRED HALL, LPC
QUESTION: I have a friend who said he is having suicidal thoughts. How do I help? ANSWER: Thanks for your question, reader. Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in America. Nearly every 11 minutes, someone dies from suicide. With that in mind, recognizing the seriousness of suicide and non-suicidal self-injury is so important for families and individuals. Some common warning signs for suicide Being sad, emotional, or moody. Depression is a major risk factor for suicide. With long periods of sadness or mood swings, a person may be more serious about considering suicide. Sudden calmness after a prolonged period of moodiness may also be an indicator. Withdrawal from people, places and things that normally bring enjoyment. Isolation and a lack of pleasure from things that usually are enjoyable is a warning sign. Changes to personality, appearance, sleep, and eating habits. When a person is actively deciding to end their life, they lose normally held inhibitions and social mores. They have little interest in their appearance or general care for themselves. This could be evidenced by a lack of sleep or too much sleep, a lack of eating or too much eating.
Recent trauma or a life crisis, such as the death of a loved one or pet, financial crisis, loss of a job, divorce or breakup, or diagnosis of a major illness could be a trigger. Being in a deep state of despair. When assessing suicidality, always question feelings of hopelessness, helplessness and worthlessness. Oftentimes people considering self-harm report having “nothing to live for,”“being a burden to others,” or “feeling trapped.” Not everyone who demonstrates or says these things is considering suicide. Not everyone who says they are considering suicide will attempt it, nor will everyone who is considering suicide show these signs or speak about it. Therefore, we take every threat of suicide seriously. Ask the person directly if they are thinking about or considering suicide. If they’re not, refer them to a person or agency that can help them deal with the issues that seem troublesome to them. If they are thinking about suicide or even starting to use suggestive language of suicide (whether you believe them to be serious or not), get them help ASAP. Develop a personal or family crisis plan. You should have the number to a local crisis or suicide
hotline, call 911, be familiar with local hospital protocols, consult with your medical professional, enlist the help of a therapist, seek counsel and prayer from a pastor or minister, and alert necessary others. Lastly, creating a supportive and accountable environment will help set realistic boundaries and guidelines for our friends and loved ones. If they are deeply hurting, your plan will get them the timely help they need to start healing. Those who matter and are involved with the person who talks of suicide must be notified each and every time suicide is mentioned. Let the person who speaks of suicide know that you will take any talk or gesture of suicide seriously, because you love them and want them to heal. Stand strong, set boundaries, take the threat seriously, enact your crisis response plan, follow up, let key people know, and love and support the person. You can do this. Y Dr. Fred Hall is a licensed professional counselor (LPC), supervisor, life and leadership coach and consultant. He works with individuals, couples, families and organizations in training, speaking, consulting and clinical practice. He does clinical work at Cornerstone Counseling in Jackson.
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Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. ~ PSALM 139:23-24, KJV
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But you, Lord, don’t be far away. My strength, come quickly to help me. Rescue my life from the sword, my only life from the power of these dogs. ~ PSALM 22:19-20, CSB
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. ~ MATTHEW 11:28-29, KJV
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is very powerful in its effect. ~ JAMES 5:16, CSB
But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. ~ ISAIAH 53:5, KJV
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All night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears. My vision is blurred by grief; my eyes are worn out because of all my enemies. Go away, all you who do evil, for the Lord has heard my weeping. The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord will answer my prayer. ~ PSALM 6:6-9, NLT
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I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread.
~ PSALM 37:25, ESV
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The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul. ~PSALM 23:1-3A, KJV
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Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind. ~ ROMANS 12:2A, ESV
We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain.
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~ HEBREWS 6:19, ESV
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For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. ~ HEBREWS 4:15-16, ESV 30 SEPTEMBER 2021 ❘ Mississippi Christian Living
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